growingupmormon

[growingupmormon]

> sees someone complaining about a mormon hate post spreading misinformation

> looks at post

> it’s literally just facts about the church

[growingupmormon]

”My Granddaughter is fine, she has the Bible and Christ’s love to guide her”

ma’am your grandson’s favorite song is Heresy by Nine inch Nails

[growingupmormon]

there's something deeply and uniquely hurtful about the cycle of abuse in cults I think. specifically in the type of cults that are generational like mine is.

a lot of cults burn really quick and fast, and die out in a few years, or a few decades, but the ones that last for generations screw up whole families and cultures of people in horrific ways.

trickle down abuse. multi level marketing abuse. my parents were not abusive. but they were, because they raised me in a cult. my parents were not abusive. but I was raised in a cult, which is in itself, inherently abusive. my parents chose to raise me said cult. but both of them were generational cult babies just like I was.

do I blame my parents? no... maybe.

It's way more complicated than anything I could ever answer. Can I blame them for how they hurt my siblings but not for how they hurt me? do I even blame them for how they hurt my siblings or am I just angry?

how can I rationalize the amount of trauma and baggage I carry, and will carry for the rest of my stupid fucking life, because of what they perpetuated?

and at the end of the day, I don't blame them. not really. but it's so much fucking easier if I do.

[growingupmormon]

The weirdness of grieving your entire culture is hard to describe. I talk about church stuff with nevermo friends sometimes, but I really don't think they can quite understand. The church is horrible but the people are my family and my hometown and my culture. To me the rot at the core of it is a tragedy more than it's anything else. It's something terrible that twists everything around it until it makes you sick to think about. It touched every part of me for so long, and in many way still does. I can't cut it out without killing a bit of myself.

[growingupmormon]

the religious trauma urge to confess everything and anything that comes to mind and makes you guilty so you can be forgiven by the masses

[growingupmormon]

it is a burden to be prayed for.

it is a burden to know that my victories are celebrated with him.

it is a burden to know that I do not exist to other people without god.

it is a burden to know my struggles are shared when all I want is to trust that my family loves me.

I hate this so fucking much.

[growingupmormon]

So while I was getting my degree in library science I chose the online Mormon and ex-mormon online community as my capstone project information community to study. I never anticipated having to explain to other librarians why I might have picked that community to study.



[growingupmormon]

"Learn about Jesus' teachings by going to the prophets."

I dunno, here's a crazy idea. How about reading about Jesus' teaching FROM JESUS HIMSEL? Then you at least get his words firsthand, rather than a mangled version of them.

Because we know the prophets lie about truth.

Nelson: God's love isn't unconditional.

If love isn't unconditional, then it's not love.

[growingupmormon]

i completely forgot it was general conference. As I wandered through the living room to the kitchen, passing my parents watching, i got jump-scared by a ghoul talk about how Abortion Is Evil and Bad.

[growingupmormon]

A talk on not giving up on those who leave and hoping/waiting for them to return.

What a joke.

First of all, the day I marry my fiancee, the church will be more than gleeful to kick us out because we're lesbians. The church isn't welcoming of those who leave. It isn't welcoming to those of us who stay.

Talks like this infantize those who leave. We haven't lost any light. PIMOs are proof that the church can't tell who has left the faith and who hasn't.

Until the church is actually open to all, like Jesus would be welcoming to all, then less people will return.

[growingupmormon]

Fuck Anderson and his talk on abortion.

Utter slop. Pure evil, that talk.

Ugh.

[growingupmormon]

Religion has no place in healthcare or reproductive rights. Old men should not be telling anyone what to do with their body. Amen.

[growingupmormon]

I didn’t even watch conference and yet:

[growingupmormon]

"WOW exmo tumblr sure is bopping tonight"

-looks at calendar-

OH, it's Conference weekend.

[growingupmormon]

does anyone else have imaginary arguments with their mom relating to lds stuff? i win fights in my head all the time bc ik exactly what she’d say if she knew my feelings about the church 🙃

[growingupmormon]

Omg

"Jesus gets excited every time he sees you on your knees"

[growingupmormon]

the angels in supernatural are Mormons

Loyalty over morality.

The Plan is everything.

Businessmen in suits wield the power of God.

We even have superhell.

Mormon Bishop Castiel Novak keeps his doubts muted and his obedience levels turned up high. He's been in a mixed-orientation marriage with Hannah for 18 years now, in an effort to cure himself from being gay. All is well and things are under control. And then Dean Winchester moves in next door.

bow your head and say yes, now posting new chapters weekly on AO3.