#don't judge it's mean

[galway-girlatwork]

Say Something

Fandom: The Mandalorian-This is a very modern AU

Rating: Mature-There is angst. 

Central Characters: Din and Eve (Original Female Character)

Central Relationship: Din and Eve

Word Count: 1,887

AO3

Please do not copy my work. If you liked it, please re-blog and tag me. Please do not steal my mood board. Stealing is just WRONG. I do not give permission to copy, translate, or post my work to any other platform.

This is for Jo’s DEAR-UARY-A new epistolary writing challenge. 

Eve is in italic. Din is in bold.

Jo, I had a fun and interesting time writing this. Thanks for letting me take part. MUHA

Music Inspiration:

Say Something-A Great Big World

You-The Pretty Reckless

Helium-Sia

Summary:

Eve’s career has always taken a back seat to Din’s. The goal was always she would start working more on her music when he graduated law school and worked for one year at a law firm. Now both of their careers are taking off but where she’s always been there for him, Eve is finding that Din isn’t always there for her. Feeling forgotten, she now lives for her music. And Din forgets that marriage takes just as much work as a career.

It had been two weeks since they’d last exchanged words—two weeks of icy silence punctuated by the hollow sounds of routine. Her guitar sat untouched in the corner of their living room, strings gathering dust. Across the room, Din’s law books were stacked haphazardly, a stark contrast to his usual meticulous order, the house feeling like a museum of unresolved tension.

Their last fight had been explosive, her voice, usually melodic, had cracked with anger as she accused him of not supporting her. “It was the last concert of my first tour! You promised you’d be there. You didn’t even call to say you couldn’t make it.”

His excuse of a deposition running late was the last straw. She moved out of their bedroom and into the guest room. It felt like they were roommates instead of husband and wife. She was tired of the excuses, of feeling like everything they’d gone through at this point, meant nothing. They’d both worked so hard to be where they are but she felt like the only one reaping the rewards was him.

It had been little things up to this point…Forgotten diners, important dates that marked the year but this? This one hit just a little harder than all the rest. She’d finally gone on tour, her music such a driving force in her life, and he promised he would be at the very last show. But when she looked over to where he should have been, he wasn’t. The hurt coming through her voice as she squeezed eyes shut, just needing to finish and get off stage. When all was said and done, she ran to the wings, her assistant handing over her phone. Nothing. Not a text, a missed call…Absolutely nothing.

The argument they had was vicious and cruel. He of course took the lead on the cruel part. The minute she’d gotten home, she’d lashed out at him. He knew he was to blame for the anger and hurt she was feeling but she’d tossed out a comment about how he felt inferior to her now blossoming career and that was when he threw her past in her face. How when he met her, she was just a wanna be singing in dive bars, the vase she threw, missing him only by an inch. When she moved out of their bedroom, ignoring him and any attempt to have conversation, he felt like an outsider looking in. It had been his idea for counseling, wanting to fix what was broken. She had to know he still loved her, right?

The first session was a disaster, neither one of them speaking when asked what had started the discord in their marriage. After twenty minutes of silence, where breaths and pin drops could be heard, the counselor let them both know that they were being counterproductive. Well, no fucking shit, he thought. “If you can’t talk to each other, write to each other. Take turns. One day each. Be honest, but not cruel.” A single blank journal placed on the table between them.

The journal now laid on the coffee table, a blank canvas waiting for their words.

Day 1 – Eve

Din,

This is the stupidest thing I’ve ever fucking done. I don’t think that counselor knows shit about shit. I’ve only ever used journals for my music. So, I don’t even know where to start. How about I am fucking angry but I am more devastatingly hurt. That night was one of the most important of my life and you couldn’t even bother to show up.

I get it. Your work is demanding, important, something you’ve worked hard for, but I feel like I’m always competing with your job, and I always lose. That night, I needed you to see me, to hear me. Not as a musician, but as your wife. I wanted you to be proud of me for what I’ve accomplished since those days of being a “dive bar wanna be.”

Day 2 –Din

Eve,

I’m sorry. I know those words feel empty right now, but they’re true. I hate that I let you down. I was stuck in that deposition, and all I could think about was getting out in time to make it to your concert. But by the time I looked at the clock, it was too late. I didn’t call because I didn’t want to hear the disappointment in your voice. That’s no excuse, but it’s the truth.

I’m sorry for the dive bar comment. That was just cruel. I’ve never been jealous of your music. I’ve been proud. Okay maybe I’ve been a little jealous. Not of the music but of your talent. I’ve heard you singing not just in dive bars but in our kitchen, in your little make shift studio and have always been in awe of your talent.

Day 3 –Eve

Din,

Thank you for saying you’re sorry. But it’s not just about that one night. This has been building for a long time. I feel like I’m always fighting for a place in your life. You’re so good at what you do, and I’m proud of you, but sometimes I feel invisible. Do you even see me anymore?

Why didn’t you tell me? That you were jealous? I am not sure why you are. I’ve never done anything in the entire time we’ve been together that would make anyone jealous. I am just me, doing what I love, wanting to spend my life with someone I love.

Day 4 – Din

Eve,

I see you. God, do I see you. You’re brilliant, talented, everything I’m not. When you’re on stage, you light up in a way that takes my breath away. But sometimes, I feel like I’m the one who doesn’t fit into your life. Your world is so vibrant, so alive. I’m just…here, working late nights and missing all the moments that matter. I hate that I make you feel invisible when you’re the most important person in my life.

Day 5 –Eve

Din,

I never knew you felt that way. I thought you were indifferent. Thinking, “Oh there goes my wife, traveling everywhere.” Like it was no big deal that I was going to be gone for months, that you didn’t care what I did, where I was or who I was hanging out with.

Tour life is not glamorous. It’s boring as fuck. It’s tour buses, junk food, crappy hotel rooms. Until I am on stage, feeling the music pour outta me. That is when I wanted you to see me. I thought if you did, if you heard, you’d know. I miss you. I miss us.

Day 6 – Din

Eve,

I miss us too. I don’t know how we got to this point. Maybe this whole journal thing isn’t crap?

Day 7-Eve

No, it is crap. Total crap. Want to know why? Because we should be able to say these things to each other. But guess what? We’re not. Why? Because you are never fucking home. It’s fuckin two in the morning and where are you? At the office. Again. Why am I even here Din?

Day 8-Din

Eve,

I am sorry. Yea I know. I sound like a broken record. I wonder how much money you’d have if you had a dollar for every time I said that to you in the last five years. Eve I want to fix this but when I am home, you don’t talk to me. It’s like I am living with a stranger instead of the woman who used to watch horror movies with me. I can’t even remember the last time we did that.

Day 9-Eve

Din,

Maybe if you actually tried. I feel like you’ve given up. Is this where we say good-bye? Where we realize that it was a mistake and just stop? I am tired and I don’t want to live like this. It’s exhausting.

Day 10-Din

Don’t do this. Where are you? Please come home. I want to fix this but it sounds like you’ve already given up. Eve…Please

Day 11-Eve

Day 12-Din

Eve we’re supposed to be writing in this together. You’ve not been home in two days. Please baby. Where are you?

Day 13-Eve

Day 14-Din

Jesus fuck Eve. WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU?!?!?!?!?

Day 15-Eve

Calm the fuck down. I was at the studio. I needed a break. Do you know how hard it is to be in the same house with someone who is supposed to be in love with you, but can’t even stand to look at you? Why should I be here Din? So you can torture me with your uncaring attitude? I’d rather pluck my eyes out with a fork.

Day 16-Din

Don’t be so dramatic Eve. I was worried. Is that what you think? That I don’t care? I do. Care I mean. Yes I do know. What you think it is easy to be in the same house with you and not want to just pin you down, kiss you senseless and tell you a hundred fucking times that I love you, that I’m sorry?

Day 17-Eve

Sex is not going to fix this.

Day 18-Din

Stubborn fucking brat. Where in that sentence did I say anything about sex? I miss kissing you.

Day 19-Eve

I miss kissing you too. I miss feeling you next to me. Din…How did we get here?

Day 20-Din

I don’t know baby. We’re both stubborn?

Day 21-Eve

Yes, I am stubborn and out there and maybe the music won’t be as successful as I want it to be but Din I need you to know that it is important to me. Just as your career is important to you. I’ve been here this whole time. We agreed that I could pursue music after one year of you at the firm. I just feel like you’re not here. I wanted to share it with you. Share the music and how much it drives me. I still love you but sometimes feel like you don’t want me.

Day 22-Din

I love you too. I want you more than you know. I will always want you Eve. I don’t always know the right words to say, but I can’t imagine a life without you. You’re my partner, my equal, I want to be better—not just for you, but with you. I’ll always fight for us.

Day 365-Eve

I can’t believe we kept at this for an entire year, especially since I was the one who said it was the stupidest and crappiest thing we could do. I love you.

Coming downstairs, he saw her sitting at the dining room table, closing the leather-bound journal. Looking over her shoulder, a sly wink given before she walked into the kitchen, he picked it up and read the last entry before rereading what had been written. Each entry was raw, honest, and sometimes painful, but they told the story of two people who refused to give up on each other.

Coffee in hand, she set both mugs on the table before sitting down. “Reading again?”

“Yeah.” Fingers encircled her wrist, pulling her up from the chair, dragging her body against his. Hands tunneling into thick blonde hair, lips brushing against hers. “I love you too.”

Tagging peeps:

@jolapeno @guiltyasdave @604to647 @ease-out-the-clutch @almostfoxglove @morallyinept

And of course @saradika-graphics for the dividers.

Love and hugs.

[girderednerve]

the theory of law that says it matters a lot what the particular text of a given policy says, what loopholes the specific language might leave, &c., is best described as "LSAT prep" or perhaps "wishful thinking." the actual practice of the law is not a rhetorical exercise, it is a power negotiation; these executive orders are written to signal clear intention to judges & create chilling effects for people who are bound by the law but not empowered to interpret it. the viciously transmisogynist executive order signed yesterday says "at conception" because it's a popular phrase among people who oppose abortion, & the violent repression directed at trans women is connected directly to all other attempts to subjugate women as a class, not least by suspending safe, legal access to reproductive care

[op-dumpstertruck]

Can we just get to the reunion art please? Hurts my heart so much

~~I love it but also whyyyyy~~

Sure :)

Zoro has an out-of-body experience, Kuina was the one who got out and is now finally home again and the stawhats 100% made quite the ruckus, so little eggplant was quite scared. This will eventually end well, but I never said the reunion would be fluffy :o)

[myspacelegend]

[bread-wizards]

I actually think Dorian and Orym should fight more.

Remember when their slowly building tension over and entire episode (full of passive aggressive remarks and blame throwing) led to threats? And how after, Orym thanked Dorian for handing over the crown sadly because he knew Dorian would be mad at him? And Dorian couldn't even look at him because he was legitimately hurt, thinking Orym was disappointed in him for doing what he thought was right? That was peak.

The fact they went from that to their current closeness and trust is the best part of their entire dynamic. Their relationship was hard fought and still will be. They will fight for it because they respect and care for one another deeply, and their disagreements don't change that, only improve it.

[pirateshelly]

You know I do think that the fandom does at times give Louis a little too much flack for the whole not wanting to kill people thing. Like yeah he can be self righteous, he can be hypocritical, he can sometimes seem more concerned with being perceived as a good person than actually being one. But objectively "oh fuck I wasn't given a full understanding of what exactly it was I was signing up for here and now I have to spend eternity killing people to survive and I don't think I'm actually on board with that so I'm going to try to come up with ways to, like, not have to do that" is kind of an extremely normal and reasonable reaction lol. And also (hopefully) the one the vast majority of us would realistically actually have. Like the sheer amount of "ugh Louis stop being so pretentious and judgy about murder 🙄" takes do sometimes feel a little bit silly

[scoriarose]

The princess is sleeping in her tower tonight

Good night sweet princess!

[i-dont-talk-for-days-on-end]

Dr. James Mortimer, eh? Arthur Conan Doyle truly knew like about two names

[aceoflights]

Oh the dynamics of "I've become a worse person for you, but it's worth it"

"I have a strict moral code, but I've killed for you"

"I know doing this will pull me into an unending cycle of violence, but I'd do anything to protect you"

"This will haunt me forever and destroy me from the inside out, but it's for you"

"I have actively covered up murder for you, and it has me questioning everything about myself"

[soraya-snape]

I don't know how many times I have heard a Marauders Stan tell me and other Snape Fans that we only like him because of Alan Rickman. Which is funny because they are the exact same people who only like the Marauders and also death eaters like Regulus because of their hot fancasts. And I don't even have a problem with it because yes Alan Rickman did play a part in me liking Snape and I believe you can like pretty much every fictional character because they are fictional. The difference is that I don't excuse Sev's behaviour because I think he looks good unlike these Marauders Stans.

[bizarrelittlemew]

Ed Babygirl Teach for @blakbonnet 😌💗

Meow, where do i even start. you blow me away with your talent, humor, and kindness. getting to know you has changed my life for the better, i don't know where i'd be without you. i can't imagine (or remember) a day going by where i haven't talked to you. you make this fandom a better place to be. enjoy Ed being cute and pretty and i hope you have a great birthday! 💗💗💗

[piracytheorist]

Yor worrying that her disappearing because of her job would mean she betrayed the Forgers vs Yor realizing that the risk is worth protecting them.

Grey colours, the Forgers as she first met them having their backs at her with empty, disappointed faces, vs bright, warm colours, the Forgers as she now knows them facing her directly and smiling at her.

She starts the story feeling like an outcast, fearing that no-one, not even her brother, will accept her as she is. That people will turn their back on her, and her life will continue being colourless and lonely.

Then her life fills with colour, with people who will face her head-on and accept her. She develops into confidence that the Forgers care for her and is reminded that even if she ever has to leave because of her job, the knowledge that she protects innocent people...

and that this work of hers will be acknowledged...

... is enough to give her the strength to carry on.

[front-facing-pokemon]

[anotherqueersnailowner]

us arospecs really do just get on Tumblr dot com and choose violence huh.

anyways be aro bash bigot with a crowbar <3

[teddybeartoji]

i love the way you write gojo :( he's not that slut manwhore fuckboy everyone says he is . he is a sad pathetic loser who looks for all the love he hasn't ever got in YOU!!!! and he will accept crumbles back because feeling loved even for a second makes him so so happy that he's almost going to another planet . i swwar to god

YOU GET MEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!! he's a lonely guy who mostly just stays at home,, i don't think he really even enjoys the attention he gets when he goes out with suguru and shoko. he's just there to spend time with his friends not to find hookups. of course, he thinks about it sometimes – yk what it'd be to wake up next to someone, but he just cannot bring himself to do it. it takes him and you time to cross that line as well btw you guys would be friends for months before it escalates in any way. and yes, i really do think he'd be more than fine with just some crumbs – he gets to feel what he's thought of for so long, he gets to see your pretty smile. for some time it'd be more than enough, but after some time he starts dreaming about eating breakfast with you, going grocery shopping with you, moving in with you. he does want more, he wants the love so badly but he doesn't have the words to express his needs. he simply doesn't know how, this is all so new to him. i think you'd have to be the one that makes the first step but it'd all take so much time. this is a proper slowburn....

[lemonhemlock]

I did not get into Game of thrones when it first started airing. In fact, I waited until it was long past it's heyday (around s6 or 7) to check it out because the marketing and the conversation surrounding it misled me into thinking it was nothing more than "grimdark" bullshit. As one famous YouTuber sarcastically called it "hot fantasy that fucks." So, I avoided Martin's work for literal years due to the impression that I got from online reactors and show-only casuals who did as you and a few others have described as his work being fundamentally misinterpreted.

Fortunately, I overcame my hang-ups, purchased the books (even the supplementary material) and fell down an entire rabbit hole of ASOIAF which led me to recognizing that this world he spent decades creating is far more complex than what had been portrayed onscreen. Regardless of the possibility of the books remaining unfinished (which I am fine with, personally), what George has created is a genuine work of art that I imagine took a tremendous amount of time and energy. So, for so many people online to behave like children and throw tantrums because they feel entitled to him (ew) instead of ushering forth more reasonable conversations and legitimate debates about the nature of his situation frankly makes me look at this fandom with a heavy dose of skepticism.

It is truly baffling to hear even professional critics and see articles describing George as being "ungrateful" or "unprofessional" when it has been well-documented just how often authors get locked out of the adaptation process and left to the wayside as consultants. Look at what happened to Rick Riordan and Christopher Paolini! George R.R. Martin is not the only author to have qualms with how a multimillion dollar studio has mishandled his creative work, and to act like he should remain silent just because he's amassed a certain degree of wealth is quite frankly, ridiculous. He shouldn't have to settle down, be grateful, and stay quiet because the greedy corporate executives and their media drones will get offended by actual criticism that could alter the perception of the adaption being revealed as mediocre for having departed from the source material.

TLDR: authors should be allowed to speak up about their art being sacrificed for commercialization.

Thank you so much for this message, anon! This needs to be talked about more, because I don't think a lot of commentators truly understand the vulgar, late-capitalistic sheen that seems to set in and slowly poison any ASOIAF adaptation. It honestly baffles me how quick some members of this fandom are to rush to the defense of, what is essentially (let's not be kidding ourselves here), a cashgrab by a giant corporation to the detriment of the actual artist and the actual creative foundation behind it.

Why else would "MAX" (if that is even their name) make another (or several other) ASOIAF adaptations? Not to stay true to any philosophical aesthetic vision, as it has become more than apparent with Season 2, but to increase shareholder profits by appealing to the lowest common denominator. Even the basic premise has been shifted in order to address popular trends and satisfy the mindless consumer that doesn't want to engage with anything deeper than their favourite tropes, prettily packaged:

from a story about a doomed ouroborous family superimposed on the pitfalls of feudalism, with villainy and heroism to be found on both sides, it has been simplified and reduced to a narrative that exalts white feminism and disqualifies anyone who opposes its girlboss protagonist. This is Sheryl Sandberg's version of Fire and Blood.

Truly, I think Sara Hess did (unintentionally) outline it the best: "civilians don't matter in Game of Thrones". They don't matter in Game of Thrones, but they matter in A Song of Ice and Fire. The entire heart of the series is contained in Septon Maribald's speech. The writers "kind of", must have forgotten, though.