#because it would finally mean they would have financial stability

[lemonhemlock]

I did not get into Game of thrones when it first started airing. In fact, I waited until it was long past it's heyday (around s6 or 7) to check it out because the marketing and the conversation surrounding it misled me into thinking it was nothing more than "grimdark" bullshit. As one famous YouTuber sarcastically called it "hot fantasy that fucks." So, I avoided Martin's work for literal years due to the impression that I got from online reactors and show-only casuals who did as you and a few others have described as his work being fundamentally misinterpreted.

Fortunately, I overcame my hang-ups, purchased the books (even the supplementary material) and fell down an entire rabbit hole of ASOIAF which led me to recognizing that this world he spent decades creating is far more complex than what had been portrayed onscreen. Regardless of the possibility of the books remaining unfinished (which I am fine with, personally), what George has created is a genuine work of art that I imagine took a tremendous amount of time and energy. So, for so many people online to behave like children and throw tantrums because they feel entitled to him (ew) instead of ushering forth more reasonable conversations and legitimate debates about the nature of his situation frankly makes me look at this fandom with a heavy dose of skepticism.

It is truly baffling to hear even professional critics and see articles describing George as being "ungrateful" or "unprofessional" when it has been well-documented just how often authors get locked out of the adaptation process and left to the wayside as consultants. Look at what happened to Rick Riordan and Christopher Paolini! George R.R. Martin is not the only author to have qualms with how a multimillion dollar studio has mishandled his creative work, and to act like he should remain silent just because he's amassed a certain degree of wealth is quite frankly, ridiculous. He shouldn't have to settle down, be grateful, and stay quiet because the greedy corporate executives and their media drones will get offended by actual criticism that could alter the perception of the adaption being revealed as mediocre for having departed from the source material.

TLDR: authors should be allowed to speak up about their art being sacrificed for commercialization.

Thank you so much for this message, anon! This needs to be talked about more, because I don't think a lot of commentators truly understand the vulgar, late-capitalistic sheen that seems to set in and slowly poison any ASOIAF adaptation. It honestly baffles me how quick some members of this fandom are to rush to the defense of, what is essentially (let's not be kidding ourselves here), a cashgrab by a giant corporation to the detriment of the actual artist and the actual creative foundation behind it.

Why else would "MAX" (if that is even their name) make another (or several other) ASOIAF adaptations? Not to stay true to any philosophical aesthetic vision, as it has become more than apparent with Season 2, but to increase shareholder profits by appealing to the lowest common denominator. Even the basic premise has been shifted in order to address popular trends and satisfy the mindless consumer that doesn't want to engage with anything deeper than their favourite tropes, prettily packaged:

from a story about a doomed ouroborous family superimposed on the pitfalls of feudalism, with villainy and heroism to be found on both sides, it has been simplified and reduced to a narrative that exalts white feminism and disqualifies anyone who opposes its girlboss protagonist. This is Sheryl Sandberg's version of Fire and Blood.

Truly, I think Sara Hess did (unintentionally) outline it the best: "civilians don't matter in Game of Thrones". They don't matter in Game of Thrones, but they matter in A Song of Ice and Fire. The entire heart of the series is contained in Septon Maribald's speech. The writers "kind of", must have forgotten, though.

[elixrr]

“Wait, Y/N—” He stops you in your tracks. He needs a rundown. He needs a repeat on why you're leaving him. “Why— why are you—”

“Why?” You stop yourself from crying out loud, “Because you're killing yourself over me.”

He stops in his tracks. Him? Killing himself over you? What are you saying? He's fine, he's perfectly fine, as long as he's with you!

“Wh– What makes you say that? Please, love, don't go away. Don't leave, tell me what's wrong, I can make it right!”

“You were making your way back up in life before we started dating.” You begin. Your voice became soft and sorrowful, holding in layers of guilt for this poor, poor man before you. “You were making money for yourself, and you were finally helping yourself become financially stable.”

“So it's the money?” He lets out an exasperated laugh, as if he were relieved at the circumstance. He smiles with slight relief in his eyes, and he reassures you, “Don't worry! I'll find more jobs, then I'll earn enough to buy you more things. Hell, the money you gave me when... when you told me you were leaving, I– I can use it!”

His smile stays for a bit, but it fades when he watches your expression sadden.

“It wasn't about getting me gifts. You need the money for yourself, not me. I'm fine with everything I have. I gave you the money because you need it to take care of yourself again.”

You can't bear to look at his confused face. He's such a sweetheart, and it hurts like hell to leave him, but it's for the best if it means he only has to support himself, and not two people.

“But... If you just need me to be financially stable, that's fine. I can do that, then afterward, I can buy—”

“Honey, that's not it. You need the money for yourself and yourself only, don't count material things for me.”

“But— I just... I don't want you to leave. We can work this out. We can work it out together.”

You pause, hesitating. The door stands tall behind you. You don't want to leave him; he's your darling, but guilt overrides your heart, and you take your stance.

“I wanted to work it out with you, so I've tried. We've discussed this so many times, remember? But when you did become financially stable again, you wasted it all away for me on Valentine's Day. I loved that gift— I love you, I love you so much, but I can't keep watching you destroy yourself.”

He finally feels the tear rolling, and yours begin to pour.

“And since you only begin to listen when I'm on the verge of leaving, I feel like it would help you more than it would hurt if I left.”

“But I can't do this without you!”

He runs up to you, trying to hug you, but you're out the door, and he falls to the ground, sobbing on his knees and watching you leave. It's terrible, it's horrible, but he can't bring himself to stand up and chase you. To his surprise, you kneel by him and hold his cheek.

“I don't want you to do this alone. But you have to, if it means you'll be able to live again.”

And there's a pause between you two. It's raining, drizzling raindrops coat your hair and lather across your clothes, as it does with his. The air is thick; bridges are burning. This was not something he could ever recover from, but you have a whole future ahead of you, away from him. Was he holding you back the whole time? Did any of this interfere with your work? With your mental stability?

Please, take him back. Keep him with you.

“I left a great sum of money with you.” You pull yourself together and stand. Your sudden stability towers over his— considering as he lacks it. “If you section it correctly, you'll have enough to pay the bills for almost two years, and you'll have money left over for about three months to buy yourself luxurious food and some nice clothes. If you don't look for luxury, that will last you a while, more than enough to look for a whole new job.”

“I don't care.” He finally manages to cry out, and he holds your waist in a final, desperate attempt to keep you with him. “I don't care. I– I don't want money,

I just want you.”

But he can't keep you. You glance at your driver and signal for her to wait. You lift your ex-boyfriend back up and take him back into the house, seating him on the couch. You take one final look around the shabby living room, and you sigh.

“I'd tell you to come back when you can handle everything better, but by then, I'm sure you'll have met someone new.”

“But what if I don't?”

“Then feel free to come back when you're comfortable. I'm glad you're so kind and loving, but I simply just couldn't stand watching you waste your future away for me.”

You stand up and kiss him one last time. He, like usual, doesn't process it in time to kiss you back, and before he could reciprocate, you bow and wave a goodbye, and you're out the door.

You grab the doorknob and— before you close the door, you turn around and mutter the quietest, soon meaningless ‘I love you,’ and you gently close the door,

and that was the end of it all.

You said that he should build a new future for himself, but with his tearful eyes glaring hot, burning laser beams at the door, it's very safe to say that this future is starting off terribly far from a good one.

He needs a restart; he's realized it before, but he never wanted to start over like this—

He never wanted to see a future without you in it. But you're gone. All that's left are the remaining photos you haven't taken, as well as the money you've left for him.

He hears the car drive off into the distant future.

He hears the car skid into your new future.

He knows why you left him now, but he doesn't know why you needed to.

If only he could get you to repeat it one last time. But there are no repeats.

All you've really left him with is a restart.

– LYNEY, FREMINET, HEIZOU, GAMING, xiao, EARLY KUNI(KUZISHI)

[girlkisser13]

love tropes with the bat family

characters: bruce wayne, richard "dick" grayson, barbara gordon, jason todd, timothy "tim" drake, stephanie brown, cassandra cain, duke thomas, and damian wayne

bruce wayne

arranged marriage

• the marriage was arranged by his parents and your parents to merge the two most powerful families in gotham, providing both financial stability and social influence. bruce only went along with it because he wanted to honor his parents’ last wishes.

• initially, there's a distance between the two of you. he’s so consumed by his quest for justice and his role as batman, that he doesn’t really have the time to truly get to know you. meanwhile, you’re just trying to understand your role in his life.

• publicly, the two of maintain the appearance of the perfect, high-society couple, attending galas and charity events. behind closed doors, the two of you sleep in separate beds and barely talk to one another.

• alfred becomes a mentor and confidant to the both of you, helping your navigate your new life together and offering uncle iroh level advice.

• it isn’t until you get hurt, that he begins to realize the depth of his feelings for you.

• DEFINITELY says the, "who did this to you?" line.

• this marriage brings a new dynamic to his life. you have your own skills and resources and you become an integral part of his crime-fighting efforts.

• your presence in his life helps him heal emotionally, offering him a sense of family and home. this support strengthens him, making him a more balanced and effective hero.

• you both work towards a shared vision for gotham, combining your immense resources and influence to create lasting change, honoring the legacies of both your families.

richard "dick" grayson

you fell first, he fell harder

• charming and attractive, it’s hard to not fall in love with dick grayson. he’ll flirt and send compliments someone’s way, effectively tampering with their feelings. it’s no surprise when you find yourself having romantic feelings for him.

• despite your best efforts to keep your feelings hidden, dick starts noticing the little things—how you laugh at his jokes a bit too eagerly, how your eyes linger on him a bit longer, and how you're always there to lend a hand.

• as you spend more time together, you can't help but be more obvious about your feelings. you find excuses to be near him, offer to help with his missions, and bring him coffee during late-night patrols.

• one day, during a particularly dangerous mission, you do something reckless to save him. that’s the final push he needs to confront and confess his feelings for you.

• ANGRY LOVE CONFESSIONS>>>

• he never noticed you. but now that he had, he couldn't un-notice you.

• once you found your way into his heart, it’s hard for him to let you go. more and more, he starts finding himself constantly wishing for you presence.

• he constantly tells you how much you mean to him and how he can't imagine his life without you.

• this man met you, fell in love with you, and has been falling ever since. <33

barbara gordon

the korrasami trope (i didn’t know what else to call it)

• both of you had feelings for dick, but he ultimately chose you. after he made his decision, she began to act extremely cold towards you.

• despite this, you constantly went out of your way to ensure that she didn’t feel left out. you included her in activities and made an effort to show her that your relationship with dick didn’t have to affect your friendship with her.

• she becomes jealous when she sees you and dick together and for the longest time, she thought she was jealous of you because you were him. she soon realizes that she was actually jealous of HIM because he was with you.

• during the times when dick was busy with his duties as nightwing, the two of you would often find yourselves alone together. these moments of forced proximity brought you closer, and that’s when she started to develop feelings for you.

• you start to notice subtle changes in her behavior around you. she becomes more attentive, goes out of her way to spend time with you, and shows a genuine interest in your well-being.

• she struggles with her feelings for you, torn between her loyalty to dick because of their friendship and her growing love for you.

• girlie is down HORRENDOUSLY for you. <33

jason todd

enemies to lovers

• you hate jason, he hates you. just the thought of him irritates your whole being, shakes your bones in anger, his name leaves a bitter taste in your mouth.

•this man will NEVER stop bothering you, he likes to see you stressed out and angry, but he lowkey thinks it’s cute that’s why he likes to piss you off.

• you intrigue him, when he started to bother you he was legit hating on you but as time flew by, he somehow liked your attention on him.

• being an annoying piece of shit= your attention.

• despite your differences and the fact that you and jason mixed like oil and water, on in the field, you guys grudgingly tolerated each other, working together to take out your enemies.

• the tension between the two of you is so thick that during mission briefs, bruce has to seat you guys across the room from each other, unless he wants to hear mumbled insults back and forth and glaring between you guys.

• the rest of the bat family teases the two of you relentlessly because they’re convinced that you guys are the perfect match for one another (they’re absolutely right).

• when he finally realizes that he has feelings for you, he tries to convince himself that he doesn’t in fact like you romantically but that he was just admiring your skills in the field.

• he actually finds himself looking out for you on missions, even though he won’t be upfront about it.

• he becomes somewhat awkward to be around, and the rest of the bat family immediately capitalize off this to bully him with it. but regardless, he finds himself drifting towards you a bit more, and picking up on some of your habits. as much as he hates to admit it, he wants to know more about you.

timothy "tim" drake

friends to lovers

• tim heavily values trust and loyalty. as friends, you’ve always been someone he can rely on, whether it's sharing secrets or working through problems together.

• despite being one of his best friends, he isn't overly expressive with his emotions. he shows his affection through small, thoughtful gestures – bringing you coffee, remembering your favorite snacks, or staying up late to help you with something.

• he gradually comes to the realization that he has feelings for you. once it hits him, he begins to avoid you, trying to process everything.

• however, he starts to get like physically sick because he misses you so much. plus, you called him to ask if they'd done anything wrong and the pain in your voice was too much for him to bear.

• it was impossible to ignore the change in his behaviour. for one, he couldn't speak to you in person without his face turning blindingly red. plus, not only does he struggle to look you in the eye, but he is also CONSTANTLY stuttering around you.

• when you decide to confront him about it, he kind of just blurts out that he’s in love to you. much to his genuine surprise (but literally no one else's), you told him that they loved him too.

• sometimes, he feels like an idiot for not saying or doing something about it sooner. you frequently tease him for not having picked up on his own feelings sooner— but for once, he graciously accepts it.

stephanie brown

fake dating

• after your ex breaks up with you, steph devises a plan to get back at them and make them jealous.

• the two of you were already best friends so it couldn’t be that hard. right? RIGHT?

• you’re both aware that damian doesn’t buy your little arrangement one bit. he just doesn’t believe that the two of you are dating because you’re such good friends. (and they were roommates!!!)

• steph has this raging pride when it comes to damian, so she’s made it her personal mission to convince him that you and her are actually dating.

• it takes a while for you two to get into the hang of it, but once you do, it’s like a regular routine.

• steph would definitely fall for you first. she’d hide her feelings behind your little charade, until the fake dating stuff starts extending into the time you two share together when no one else is watching.

• she still gravitates towards you on the couch when everyone has left after dinner at your place, pressing kisses to your cheek when she leaves even though everyone else is already gone. there’s no need to continue acting like this but she does.

• the fake dating thing really starts hurting her because she thinks that you don’t really like her like that (you do) but its nice to pretend that you do in those moments, that it’s all real even though its not.

• the people who know of your secret knows that steph has fallen for you (except for steph herself, and you because you refuse to believe it).

• like, come on, she’s your BEST FRIEND (side eye). the two of you are idiots in love.

• the moment she realizes she’s in love with you is on another one of those dates that you both know you don’t have to go on but still choose to have anyway (your ex is already clearly jealous).

• she’s been getting this small tugging feeling with you a lot over these past few months.

• now she finally realizes it’s because she’s in love with you. <33

cassandra cain

childhood best friends to lovers

• growing up, you became adept at reading her body language and expressions, creating a deep, intuitive understanding between the two of you.

• as kids, you both trained together, pushing each other to become stronger and better. these sessions were filled with friendly competition, laughter, and mutual support.

• you two had a secret hideout where you would escape to whenever the world felt overwhelming. it was a place filled with memories, laughter, and dreams for the future.

• whenever she had nightmares or struggled with her past, you were always there to comfort her. your presence became a source of peace and security for her.

• you both shared a love for a watching old martial arts films and cooking together. these activities brought you even closer over the years.

• once she was settled into her new life with the bat family, she reconnected with you over lunch and there was a moment where it all clicked. her heart nearly gave out the moment she saw you walk through the cafe door and smiled at her.

• she was in love with you. she had been for a while now. but back then, she had taken your presence for granted. it was something she just expected to be there. but now? now it was different. now it made sense.

• it was a very natural progression from a friendship to a relationship. she felt safe with you, and she never had to worry about being misunderstood. after everything that she’s been through, you were the person who stood by her through all of it. <33

duke thomas

brother’s best friend

• one thing about you and duke is that you can both take a secret to your grave.

• no one ever finds about him sneaking out of your brother’s room during their weekend sleepovers, to cuddle up to you on your bed.

• no one finds out about the secret dates you go on in the next town over, so that you don’t get caught.

• no one finds out about the secret phones you both use to contact each other.

• if you have to be in the same room together, he’s not even making any eye contact with you. it’s better to ignore each other in public.

• it would be WAY too obvious that the two of you are dating.

• when you guys are seven months into the relationship, cuddling on his bed, he asks "how long do you want to keep us a secret?"

• to which you reply "not any longer than you want to."

• so yeah, you can both keep a secret– until you decide you want to share it to the world.

• your brother is disgusted, but happy for you. emphasis on disgusted tho. <33

damian wayne

academic rivals to lovers (except he’s been in love with you this whole time)

• damian has always admired you from afar. everything from your biting wit to your competitive spirit always made his heart flutter. falling in love with you was almost inevitable.

• sarcastic, creative remarks as comebacks to one another’s argument, teasing and joking words that lead to banters and bickering.

you: "are you reading?"

damian: "it’s amazing how you have eyes but never see the use of them."

• you don’t know if it’s due to your clashing beliefs and ideas that you two just can’t get along. or is it because he just refuses to do so? eitherway, he still irks you off in multiple ways. even when it’s just the sound of his breathing.

• the two of you compete against each other in terms of being the best among you, as such your relationship is treated as something simply born and made by a competition, an unnatural way to form a connection with another but that’s just how it is.

• the fact that you two work really well when it comes to projects and research is something that can’t be denied. even when there are countless arguments being shared because of differences in opinion, you two still end up getting the work done flawlessly.

• despite everything, there was never a time that you two have touched on a sensitive subject while arguing or have you two have said anything personal and mean that it crossed the line. it’s just some useless and close-to-nothing banters that always occur— becoming a part of your daily routine.

• and of course, the two of you don’t lose your sense of academic "rivalry" when you two start dating.

[night-raven-tattler]

Say hi to daddy!

Summary: How would these characters behave as fathers? What does their ideal family look like?

Characters: Savanaclaw dorm (Leona, Jack, Ruggie)

Other parts of the series: Heartslabyul, Octavinelle, Scarabia, Pomefiore, Ignyhide, Diasomnia, Royal Sword Academy

Warnings: none

By opening the document, you agree to Mx Tattly's terms of source confidentiality.

-ˋˏ’✄┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈

The chances of Leona agreeing to having kids is very low: he has a lot of baggage and personal beliefs that would make him not be fully on board

Plus, why would he need another screeching box when Cheka is already around?

But then a bit later in life... something happens and suddenly he has a child in his and his partner's care

Because why would anything ever go the way he wants?

Yet, he grows attached, with the help of his partner

He's the only one who can put the kiddo to sleep, and the only one whose hair the kiddo likes to play with

While his lazy predisposition doesn't allow Leona to go too much out his way for the kid, he's far from an absent father

He is not only present but trying his best to be an example

Because, even if the child ends up seeing him as a bad example, he will be satisfied with the lessons he managed to teach

He loves roughhousing with the kid or challenging their young mind

And when he's too overwhelmed, Cousin Cheka is available for babysitting duty

For Leona, fatherhood becomes a time of finally healing inner wounds while becoming more understanding without being dejected: it's the time when he finally finds an inner balance and find some peace

...he still won't ask Falena for fatherly advice though

Leona is, for sure, a girl dad; he also will pump the brakes at 1 child, 2 children would probably open old wounds he's not quite ready to deal with

『••✎••』

Jack is, undeniably, a family man whose life goals follow a pretty traditional route: get married, have children, grow old and see his family thrive

His classmates sometimes teased him lightly about it, but they all were happy for him when they saw Jack's content smile at his wedding and later at the apparition of his first child

From the very beginning, Jack is a good husband and a doting father, and he loves spending one on one time with his kids the most

Jack loves having his little ones join him in his training regimens, even if all they do is watch and ask questions

That's what they do usually anyway, the kiddos have been waddling towards their dad since they were in diapers

Dominant beastmen traits or not, he still expects them to do their best physically, and he's the dad to sign up every kid for a sport

Not that he wouldn't be understanding if any of his kids happened to take a less physically challenging path in life: he'd be just as supportive, but he'd also reflect on his actions and ask his partner if they think he's done something wrong

Parenthood is a chance for Jack to learn how to be more of a team player, not only as part of a parental unit, but also as a dad who needs to meet his kids in the middle and understand that the "pack leader" can still be wrong if he doesn't listen to his pack

Jack would enjoy 3-4 kids, he loves the idea of a big family, and he'd totally be a boy dad

『••✎••』

Ruggie

Ruggie never really thought about having kids, his main focus has always been financial stability and reducing that food anxiety

But it's very likely Ruggie would end up with an unplanned kid

He wasn't completely on board with the idea of parenthood... until his little one looked into his eyes and smiled

Did Ruggie accidentally pass down his pickpocketing skills to this kid? Because they just stole his heart

But that doesn't mean he really has a good grip on what parenting really means; yes, Ruggie is dependable and responsible, but he also is an orphan who has always fought against a lot of prejudice

So he often relies on his grandma for advice, she's the closes thing he has to a parent

He's the dad that really pushes his kid to learn as many things as they can, anything that can become a life skill will eventually come in handy

He helps his kid build up their independence, while they help him become more open and honest

Ruggie is very open with his child about his upbringing from the moment he feels like they are ready to hear it, and he makes them understand that his position in the Sunset Savannah is nowhere near the top as a hyena beastman

But he promises them that they are not any less worth being someone deserving of living comfortably just because of some societal garbage

Ruggie doesn't really have a gender preference, but would prefer 1 child, so the financial burden wouldn't be too heavy

『••✎••』

[astroismypassion]

Asteroid Groom (5129) observations

Credit goes to @astroismypassion

🔅 Taurus Groom or Groom in the 2nd house thinks more about the wedding dress, what they will wear and about food for guests at wedding buffet than the actual marriage.

🔅If you have Aries Groom you might often get proposed to, people just see you as engagement material, want committment with you.

🔅Aquarius Groom in the 2nd house would marry a long-time friend just because they proved they were loyal to them.

🔅 Often times I noticed the degree of asteroid Groom corresponds to the birth number of your Groom. If you have Groom at 3 degree, your partner can be born on the 3rd.

🔅 Groom at Capricorn degree (10, 22) can marry for the first time after the age of 40 (even after 41, 45).

🔅Libra Groom might not even be thinking about marriage, but they will still say yes, if a person proposes to them.

🔅 Groom in the 3rd house will love to their partner’s home even before marriage.

🔅Aries Groom rushes marriage so much, because they want to have “the one” so bad.

🔅 Aquarius Groom might very suddenly, unexpectedly get engaged, but then later in the connection break the engagement and decide not to get married.

🔅Your asteroid Groom sign, house and degree can represent your person’s major 3s (so their Sun, Moon, Rising). For example: if you have Aquarius Groom in the 2nd house at 3 (Gemini) degree, your partner could have Aquarius, Taurus, Gemini Sun, Moon or Rising.

🔅 If you have Groom in Gemini, in the 3rd house or at a Gemini degree (3, 15, 27) you might already be “married” to your friends. Maybe they take a lot of your day time, rely on you emotionally and you are in contact with them on a daily basis. You could also marry your elementary/high school crush or partner.

🔅 Groom in the 2nd house might get engaged, married only after achieving financial stability.

🔅Libra Groom might be engaged always (in every relationship), but never married. They might proceed to marriage only after the 3rd engagement. Or they could feel the 3rd engagement is finally “the real one” for the first time.

🔅If you have Aquarius Groom your person will try to woo you with strange gifts that are seemingly not as practical, but they are still connected to your mutual interests and hobbies. They might gift you vinyl record collection, but you don’t even own a vinyl record player😂.

🔅 Groom conjunct Ascendant could mean finding a spouse will be very important in this lifetime of yours. Maybe due to parents’ or peer pressure you will look for person who is marriage material.

🔅 Taurus Groom might actually be the person that pays a lot for their spouse, partner and not really the other way around. 😕

🔅 Scorpio Groom native will need to “earn the trust” of the partner’s family since they will not accept Scorpio Groom as quickly, you will grow on them.

🔅 Aquarius Groom or Groom in the 11th house might rebel against their own family with the choice of their groom. They will go against what was silently expected out of them, which results in shocking their family members with the choice.

🔅 Cancer Groom native on the other hand is really quickly loved by the person’s family. They might even know their sibling, their person’s brother or sister before them.

🔅 Capricorn Groom might be have a family or a child from a previous connection when entering marriage.

🔅 Groom in the 2nd house native could have some previous sexual affairs that become public knowledge or known to their new romantic partner. 😬

🔅 Aquarius Groom might marry a person that was known for having only short-term relationships.

🔅Pisces Groom will have an inexperienced partner. Their partner will anxious, doubtful about marriage and will try to postpone it.

Credit goes to @astroismypassion

[voxaholic]

Character Info For My Bojack Inspired Human Au

Hollywood Losers Au

Val & Vox

-Hollywood’s messiest on and off couple of just about 20 years

-extremely codependent: Val makes messes, Vox cleans them up, that’s how they work

-Vox has a shit ton of spyware on all Val’s phones and a tracker on his car and it’s only partially out of insane possessiveness. Vox’s creepy bullshit has saved Val’s life on occasion 

-“Did you hide my fucking guns, Vox?” “Yes! And the fact that you’re even looking for them right now means I’m really glad I did!”

-Met on a set when Vox was still an actor and have been making each other miserable ever sense

-Gossip rags love them. Every piece of info about them is insane

-There are at least three twitter accounts keeping track of whether they are on or off again

-Neither of them would classify the relationship as abusive but from the outside observer, it definitely is

-Val is under the assumption that Vox is happy with their status quo and Vox is, until he isn’t 

-Velvette thinks one of them is going to end up killing the other eventually 

-they get into a lot of very physical fights. Vox usually comes out worse for wear

-see when a person with a disorganized attachment style and someone with an anxious attachment style get into a situationship…

Val

-43 but still lives and dresses like he’s in his early 20s

-semi washed-up actor that got his start on some sort of law and order-esque tv show

-has bleached and dyed his poor hair far beyond repair but it is still hanging in there somehow

-has had six PR managers quit on him over the last year and a half alone

-personal life goal is to do every drug once

-trying to fill the hole in his heart with hedonism. he thinks it’s working (it is not)

-self identified queer icon

-lots and lots of shallow acquaintances/fuck buddies, very few people he would consider close

-interested in the concept of a pet but every pet he’s ever had has either died of neglect or been taken in by Vox

-outward narcissism hides a deep yawning insecurity that he’s not even fully aware of

-self sabotages a lot

-likes to be taken care of and babied but only by Vox

-retweets his own callout posts on twitter (Vox deletes the retweets but screenshots exist)

-afraid of committing himself to anything

Vox

-45 and dresses like it

-greying early (he says it’s because of Val and Val thinks he’s joking. he isn’t)

-officially Val’s agent but also unofficially, his pr manager because every actual hired PR manager keeps quitting 

-a fake bitch who doesn’t give a shit about 99% of people

-unfortunately once he starts giving a shit about someone he can’t really stop giving a shit

-has run several financial scams

-has done so much white collar crime

-gotten Val off for so much shit, like really, so much fucking shit

-briefly a child actor. it ended badly 

-apathetic about most things outside of work but fakes it well enough 

-always has like 18 different side projects going

-wants to marry Val to finally get some sense of stability in their relationship

-a control freak who needs to know what Val is up to 24/7

-the one who cooks in the relationship. he’s not good at it and Val complains constantly about how bland his food is but he still eats it

-has a blue pitbull puppy named Vark who he loves like a son

-he’s THAT type of dog dad

[saintjosie]

I'm gonna jump in the discourse lol, I don't pass as a trans woman and I don't think I'll care to. But demilypyro was advocating for living as your best self, she happens to be in a country that funded her transition? But other than that she's like poor too. Idk it feels like everyone's just looking for trouble because she was responding to hate with snark

okay people really don’t get this so i’m gonna tell y’all a story. my story.

i’m a trans woman with a fuckload of privilege. i’m pretty, i’m passing, and i have a platform, but most importantly, i had the privilege of starting my transition when i was financially stable on my own in largely supportive environments. and i recognize these things now but i didn’t always.

i started my transition in may of 2020, during the height of lockdown. and at that time, i was working a cushy corporate salaried desk job with full benefits which included both therapy and gender affirming care. i got on hrt quickly, and because of good genes, because masculine asian features are regarded as feminine in western beauty standards, because i’m really fucking good at makeup, and because i was working from home and there was no where to go, i was able to stop boymoding by october of 2020, about 6 months after i started hrt.

and then around that same time, i had another stroke of luck. i made a tiktok about coming out at work, which i did in the most extra way imaginable, and that tiktok went viral. it got 300k views and overnight i went from having 150 followers on tiktok to several thousand. and a less than a year later, that grew to 100k.

that year was rough as hell. i transitioned during a time where going out into the world to find community was impossible. and i lost my job. and i got divorced. and i cut out my family. and because of all of that, i felt like i was doing better than a lot of other trans people. cause i was facing hardships and still doing incredible.

but even so, i was longing for community that would validate and accept me the way that i was validated and accepted online. and so over the next year, i moved across the country three times, something i was able to do only because i was able to afford it

during that year i finally started to get out and meet queer people as the pandemic slowed down. and as i connected with queer and trans people in varying stages on their own journey, i realized the enormous privilege of being able to transition, afford therapy, afford my meds, afford moving to a place where i could find community. i wasn’t just “better at being trans”, i was just luckier than most.

being able to accept being trans is so dependent on having the support structure around you to process what you are feeling. being able to socially transition is dependent on having the people around you who will accept your identity and being in a place where you are able to do so safely. being able to medically transition is dependent on having the physical health and financial stability to do so.

privilege is something that needs to be constantly dismantled within our community because privilege is the main weapon that is used to oppress us.

the fact that this demily person made a snide sarcastic comment doesn’t change the fact that she sought out a person without a following to shit on someone without a following. the inherent privilege of saying something like, “i’m better at being trans” even if she didn’t mean it seriously, shows that she doesn’t recognize the privilege of being in a place where you can learn to accept yourself.

and on top of all that because she��s a person with a following and a platform, the danger of that kind of thinking compounds and is worth calling out.

i’m not misunderstanding her intentions or the context.

you are misunderstanding privilege.

[luna-writes-stuff]

Jackie and Wilson, Pedro Pascal

Song link

Fanfic, gn! reader

Meet-cute, fluff

Word count: 3168

Tw: I hate this fic haha, but enjoy anyway. Also, you’re a bartender now so obvious mentions of alcohol. Paparazzi, slight anxiety, mutual pining. Making fun of paparazzi? That’s it?

Summary: You work in a local bar when the building is suddenly surrounded with paparazzi. You knew why they were there - you had already served him two drinks. However, instead of throwing him out, you got talking with him. And after a day of keeping up appearances and minding rules, you are an incredibly comfortable distraction to him.

Buy me a coffee/force me to write more

“So tired trying to see from behind the red in my eyes. No better version of me I could pretend to be tonight. So deep in this swill with the most familiar of swine. For reasons wretched and divine.”

When a career finally takes off, it could offer one more than they bargained for. Take a wealthy lawyer, who bathes in money, but wallows in sunken dignity and dishonesty - or a proclaimed doctor, who performs surgeries and saves lives like no other, but returns home with dreadful stories of the day and baggage they wish they could have left at the hospital.

When an actor’s career begins to take off, they will gain fame. A fandom is built, money flows in, your name can be seen on billboards; it seems as if you are on the top of the world. But with that also comes the need to constantly watch what you say or what you do. Be professional during interviews, don’t spend too much time taking pictures with fans on a red carpet, don’t go out too much or the restaurant might have to close because it can’t handle its guests’ capacity.

It could bring stability, financial safety, a feeling of satisfaction - the ability to take care of those who you love and spoil them unconditionally. But regardless of how often stars will tell you that the famous life can be miserable, most fail to correctly grasp this concept.

You weren’t famous by any means. You worked in a local bar, serving local drunks and local students. So, when a crowd of people began to gather in front of your windows, taking pictures with obnoxious flashes with no apparent respect, you had been taken aback. After multiple warnings and questions for privacy, your boss had finally called the police to clear the situation. Then, after two hours, it was finally somewhat quiet again.

“She blows outta nowhere, roman candle of the wild. Laughing away through my feeble disguise. No other version of me I would rather be tonight. And, Lord, she found me just in time.”

However surprised, you were not stupid. You knew why they were here, or - more specifically- for who. You had served him two drinks at the bar before he retreated to the table in the far corner of the room, further away from the windows. He didn’t even have to say his name before you put the drinks on his tab. You didn’t hide the fact that you knew him, but he was a customer. You were not going to hinder his privacy or dignity if you could help it. Not during work hours, not after work hours. Which brought you back to the point that it was company policy that a customer on tap had to order at least one drink every thirty minutes, or they had to make room for new customers.

And thus, with the crowd finally cleared, you made your usual round of the room, taking orders and offering people their drinks. When you finally arrived at his table, you grabbed his empty glass, immediately drawing his attention to you. “Can I get you anything else?” A polite smile was shot from him as he nodded briefly, then turning back to his phone. As you grabbed a pen, you tried to strike up a casual conversation, not even thinking about your words until they were spoken: “If you don’t mind me asking, what brings you all the way here?”

Shocked at your own words, you squeezed your eyes shut in embarrassment, remembering his line of work and his reputation. “And if you do mind me asking, just tell me it’s work.” You quickly added, now grabbing the notepad as well. Pedro only chuckled at that, putting his phone on the table as he looked back at you: “I don’t mind you asking,” he answered. “But it is work.”

Raising your eyebrows, you nodded at him with a relieved smile. “Lucky guess.”

“'Cause with my mid-youth crisis all said and done. I need to be youthfully felt 'cause, God, I never felt young.”

Seemingly pondering his next words, he spoke before you could begin your next sentence, a gentle expression on his face. “The place I’m staying at had cameras on me at every angle. Figured I’d have a little more privacy in a downtown bar.” You pursed your lips at that, nodding sarcastically: “Ah yes, that worked great.”

Again, you squeezed your eyes shut, shaking your head as you tried to correct yourself. “I’m sorry.” But instead of a stupid remark or an uncomfortable silence, you heard his laugh followed by a dismissive wave. “No, you’re fine.”

His eyes fell upon the pad before you, unseemingly changing the subject: “I’ll have another cola.” Observing his smiles and laughs made some part of confidence grow within you. All night he had ordered nothing but cola, and where you would usually tease your customers for it, you found yourself somewhat withdrawn with him.

You didn’t know if it was because of his entire reputation or simply the way he looked at you, but you were hesitant to speak your next words. But when he continued to gently smile at you, you couldn’t resist the light tease: “It comes with a lemon. You sure you can handle that?”

“She's gonna save me, call me "baby" Run her hands through my hair. She'll know me crazy, soothe me daily. Better yet, she wouldn't care.”

You didn’t know it then, but that simple remark had made him feel incredibly at ease. A day filled with formal greetings and the constant need to make himself look presentable faded the second you teased him over ordering another cola. He didn’t even have time to comment on your words, your figure already making its way back to the bar.

It was your coworker who later arrived at his table with his drink. When he couldn’t see you behind the bar, he stood up, grabbing his stuff as he made way to the long counter. He had sat down on one of the chairs, trying to subtle glance around the room trying to catch any glimpse of you.

You walked back into the building a handful of minutes later, announcing your break to be over. That had explained why he couldn’t see you. Your face lit up slightly as you noticed that he changed his seating, now in front of you as you would work. In a way, it didn’t seem distracting nor unwanted. If anything, part of it felt comfortable.

“We'll steal her Lexus, be detectives, Ride 'round picking up clues. We'll name our children, Jackie and Wilson. Raise 'em on rhythm and blues.”

“Corner got lonely?” You asked, hanging your jacket up behind you before turning around, facing him from the other side of the bar. “Music’s better here.” He countered, pointing to the box above the doorway. You followed his gaze, rolling your eyes jokingly as you spotted the equipment.

“Here I thought you were beginning to like me.” You quipped, grabbing a glass as you began to clean it. He watched you work, unsure if he should interrupt or not. “You lied,” he suddenly said, gaining your attention. His hand raised slightly, the cola clutched tight in his fingers. “It doesn’t come with a lemon.”

You grinned at him, reaching for a slice of lemon before handing it to him. “I did promise.” You agreed, returning to your work as he grabbed the slice from your hand. Once more, a silence fell over the two of you.

“Lord, it'd be great to find a place we could escape sometime. Me and my Isis growing black irises in the sunshine. Every version of me dead and buried in the yard outside. We'd sit back and watch the world go by.”

“You from around here?” He asked, trying to fill the silence. You shrugged at him, knowing it was no good idea to announce your address in a public space. But a vague idea could never hurt: “Ten minute drive,” you revealed. “Why?”

Toying with the straw in his drink as he pushed the lemon down, the man revealed: “I was wondering what there was to do around here. It’s gonna be at least two more days.”

You scoffed at that, finding pity in the fact that he of all people got stranded in a town not widely known for its publicity, media, or events. Yet, a world famous star was sitting in front of you, and you were about to announce that there was nothing to do here.

“Light shopping?” You tried to promote, referring to your local stores and perhaps three big brands. “Maybe the cinema plays a good film, but that’s about all you’ll find here.” Placing the glass back on its original place, you spun around with a dramatic gesture of your hand. “You’re stranded in the middle of nowhere, my good sir.” Humming lightly, you spoke the hooking cords of the infamous Eagles song: “Welcome to the Hotel California.”

“Happy to lie back watch it burn and rust. We tried the world, good God, it wasn't for us.”

Pedro shook his head in entertainment, earlier anxiety slowly settling down as the nerves left his system. Being around someone who was somewhat nonchalant about him made him feel relaxed in some sort of unusual manner. It wasn’t unwelcomed, though.

“Any good restaurants?” He continued, his interest growing as he tried to build up to next questions. You remained oblivious to his intentions though, and happily answered him: “Like a handful. There’s not much here.” When he failed to respond to that, you grabbed a post-it, already jotting down some names. “I could give you a small list of recommendations.”

He simply hummed in reassurance, peeking over the bar to look at what you were writing down. He could not help but feel slight disappointment as he found out you were indeed writing down names of places that sounded a lot like restaurants and cafes. So, maybe flirting hadn’t been his strong suit, but he was steadfast if he was anything. He just leaned back, leaving you to finish your writing.

“She's gonna save me, call me "baby", Run her hands through my hair. She'll know me crazy, soothe me daily. Better yet, she wouldn't care.”

When you handed him the note, he pretended to read the names, asking you a question while his eyes remained on the paper: “What’s your favourite place? One you can really recommend?”

Instead of a genuine answer, what he had expected, you laughed instead. When he looked at you, he noted the way your expression had also found slight humour in his earlier words. “Way out of my budget,” you chuckled. “Went there once for a birthday.” Then, you looked at him, shrugging as you remembered what he did in life. “Might be your alley, though. And otherwise, the local cafeteria serves amazing fries.” You put the emphasis on amazing, almost imagining the dish in front of you now. You could go for some good fries.

“Could you show me where?” His voice tore you from your thoughts, forcing you back to the bar, his eyes gentle. Instinctively, you reached for the paper, ready to start writing again: “I’ll write the address down.”

“We'll steal her Lexus, be detectives, Ride 'round picking up clues. We'll name our children, Jackie and Wilson. Raise 'em on rhythm and blues.”

You didn’t see the slight defeat in his eyes as you mindlessly grabbed your phone and started looking up addresses. If you had, you wouldn’t have even taken the card to begin with. You would have decided to tease him back on it. But you hadn’t seen it.

In his eyes, it felt like another let down. Either he was being too low-key, you were being too oblivious, or this was your way of letting him down easy. You did stand behind a bar all night. He wouldn’t be the first, nor would he be the last to try to make a move. You must have mastered turning down flirting attempts during that time.

When your eyes finally rose, you did see the way his eyebrows had furrowed slightly, or how that friendly smile had lightly faded. When he noticed you were looking at him, he gave you a questioning look. Not one of curiosity, but as if he was asking you if you had understood him or not.

“Oh.” You sighed, ultimately catching onto his meaning. Your heart skipped a beat when he didn’t try to defend himself. He had been genuine. You could almost curse yourself for not having paid more attention.

“Cut clean from the dream at night, let my mind reset. Looking up from a cigarette, and she's already left.”

“If you would be okay with that.” He added, his voice more hushed than before, almost as if you had already rejected him. At that, a feather light feeling entered your stomach, the ability to form words finally coming back to you: “The cafeteria or…” you trailed off, unsure of where he wanted to go.

At your words, that same smile climbed back, neither of you missing the slight and - unsuccessfully - suppressed sigh of relief. “Your favourite place.” He cleared up.

You nodded at him, handing him the post-it, now filled with tiny scribbles of street names. “Cafeteria it is.” You decided.

“You sure?” He asked, putting the note in his pocket, his full attention now on you. You hummed in affirmation, waving your hand off in the distance. “I can’t afford that restaurant.” You shared, but interrupted him as he went to speak. “And I am not going to let you pay for everything.”

Though he wanted to, he hadn’t argued with it that night. Nor did he the night after, or the night after that. It wasn’t until you officially started going out, that you allowed him to lay for your dinner every so often.

“I start digging up the yard for what's left of me and our little vignette. For whatever poor soul is coming next.”

And now, three years later, you were seated in that exact same cafeteria you had dined in back when you first met. When your boss had to call the cops in order to get the paparazzi to leave. It was insane to consider you had not become used to them, even if that was not a fond thing.

To him, you felt like a moment of pure nothingness; he didn’t have to pretend or hold up to any expectations. There was nothing he needed to say or needed to hear. As insane as it might have sounded to him, he simply felt like a normal person around you again. As if he had never become famous, and never played in award-nominated shows and films. And that was why he had initially fallen for you. It was because of your calming demeanour. And none of that had changed through the years.

“They’re not making it subtle, are they?” You joked, as you watched a man with his long lens camera with flash on sitting on a terrace on the opposite side of you. Fries were stuffed in your mouth as Pedro was munching away on some greasy burger. Opening your mouth in an undignified manner, you turned to the camera, flipping them off, before returning to your meal.

Pedro laughed at you, holding his hand in front of his eyes as he tried to hide himself. Grabbing the straw from your drink and the straw of his own drink, he fumbled with them for a while, before turning to look at the camera, the straws now dangling from his teeth like some sort of vampire with a new set of pearls. You snorted at the sight, banging your fist on the table as you held your hand in front of his face, pulling the straws from his mouth: “Now it has your gross bacteria all over it.” “Ew,” he returned in a high pitched voice, mocking your speech.

“She's gonna save me, call me "baby", Run her hands through my hair. She'll know me crazy, soothe me daily. Better yet, she wouldn't care.”

“This is how you get cooties,” you laughed, pointing the straw at his face in an accusing manner. “Disgusting,” Pedro agreed with a grin, pulling the straw from your fingers. Then, he stuck them in his drink, ignoring your betrayed looks. “Asshole,” you scolded with a chuckle

“You know, about three years ago, we sat right there?” His finger pointed to the bar at the end of the street where you used to work. Having now been together for more than two years, you quit your job soon after, noticing the publicity wasn’t working for your job. It wasn’t helping the bar and it wasn’t helping you. You remembered how guilty Pedro had felt when you told him, even after you had reassured him how you knew this going into the relationship. It was all the more reason for him to spoil you even more now.

“I think we caused the manager to grow grey hair prematurely,” you confessed, forcing another chuckle out of his throat. “That may have been my fault.” He added. “I walked into that bar to get a moment of peace. And that’s where I found you.”

“We'll steal her Lexus, be detectives, Ride 'round picking up clues.”

You smiled at him, fondly remembering that moment. “You could have had any model or superstar, and you choose someone who catered to local drunks.” “An important job,” Pedro added in a joking voice. You joined him: “I’m sure there are some who would agree with you on that.”

From over the table, his hand found yours, squeezing it fondly. “I don’t think I would want any model or superstar now that I know what I could have missed.” “Sap.” You interrupted, yet you returned his affectionate gesture all the same, silently letting him know you were appreciative of his words.

“I’m glad you walked in too,” you admitted. “Even though I had no idea what to say to you.” “You said the right thing,” he assured. “Besides, who else would I bully paparazzi with?” As he said that, he waved to the man with the camera with an unenthusiastic expression.

And moments like these were a perfect depiction to him why it was you and would always be you. Even with cameras on him and his privacy being scarce, you remained beside him, taking it upon yourself to mess the pictures, sometimes marking them unpublishable due to certain symbols being made on them. You were his distraction and his moment of solitude. Perhaps he would have found it in anyone else, but he had no desire to figure that out. You were with him now, and he would hold onto that for as long as he could.

“We'll name our children, Jackie and Wilson. Raise 'em on rhythm and blues.”

[kindredtarot]

❛❛What you need to balance right now?❜❜

› ♡˖°꒰ Pick a pile

✦; Pile : 1 ˎˊ˗❞

6 of swords, 10 of pentacles, 7 of stones, queen of arrows, 2 of cups.

“I'm just really fuckin' selfish and really fuckin' lost. But someone loved me, someone fucking loved me. Someone fucking loved me and I fuckin' loved them too. Goddamn it, I was worth something, I fuckin' learned something. I had my cake (I ate it, it ate me too and, God, no)” — Feel Better by Penelope Scott

You need to balance your timely actions and patience. It looks like you are transitioning to a new stage in your life because you want to advance and achieve what you want. Are you choosing to leave behind old relationships? Probably a hard decision emotionally, but something you felt you had to do to protect yourself. “Can’t heal in the same environment that wounds me”. You want stability, finally. Maybe you want it before but insisted to try having it with people that wouldn’t give it to you. But now you are making steps towards it, starting with the choice to move on. You want to have a stable foundation financially and/or with your family, a place that you can actually call home and mot having to worry about having to protect yourself and your feelings 24/7. And you can get it, you just need to have patience with your healing journey. 

You are going in the right direction. I know leaving people that you really cared about hurts and it might take some months or a year, but continue to take care of yourself, physically, emotionally, and mentally. It’s okay to let your mind remember and miss past moments sometimes, and to cry your heart out. Blocking those things would just make it harder in the long run, and you might already know that deep down. Resting and not doing nothing doesn’t mean your are giving up, take your time to get ready to continue towards what you want. Taking care of yourself will clear your mind and would help you communicate better and making better decisions towards your relationships with others and your possessions/money. I can see your relationships improving, with yourself and others, actual soul-touching connections. Maybe you always wanted a soul family, a group of friends that were like family or a healthy family life, whatever it was, I can see this area of your life improving and beautifully too. Just take priority and improve your relationship with yourself first and foremost, so you are ready with strong boundaries and understanding of what you truly want to start deep connections with others too.

✦; Pile : 2 ˎˊ˗❞

page of wands, 3 of pentacles, death, the tower, queen of pentacles, 3 of wands in reverse.

“Do you ever see someone and think "Wow, they got lucky", the craftsmanship of their bones, their brain, and their body. When I look into the mirror for too long it hurts, they don't track how many steps it takes to burn off dessert. Do you ever see someone and think "Wow, they got lucky". I'll let 'em take accountability. For everything that's wrong with me. Can't hold myself responsible. So I'll blame the metaphysical. If Jesus died for all our sins. He left one behind, the body I'm in. Same hands that made the moon and the stars. Got carpal tunnel and forgot some parts” — God must hate me by Catie Turner

You need to balance how you view others vs yourself. You might put people in a pedestal and put yourself down unconsciously. You seem to be someone with so many ideas and plans, wild imagination! (You might be an artist). Someone that sees the “impossible” and is sure it could become possible! A really exciting and active person, whether that’s physically or mentally. You might like working in group or just admire people. They seems really interesting, so many new perspective. And they are talented too, in their own way. Maybe your achievements don’t seem as valuable to you just because you are admiring other people that seem to just have everything else you want. You have a lot too, in your life you were resilient. You sometimes might think you are giving up too easily but you are resilient. You are still going, aren’t you? Still trying or planning to get better and get to your goals. Don’t forget to look back to your past to realize how far you’ve come, how much you had learned. Just because all the things you had achieve aren’t as visible to others like what you see outside of yourself, doesn’t mean they don’t exist or are less. 

Others seems so cool to you, and forget you are cool too. Do you have a lot of unfinished projects? So many ideas but maybe don’t fully follow through with them. And others seem to have their shit together already, finishing what they started. Instead of discouraging yourself, try observing the things you admire from those people and take what could help you keep going. Maybe you have problems with planning your projects or stay stuck on just planning instead of actually starting them. This unbalance in your views of others and yourself has to “die” to start building something better that would work for you. It won’t be easy to fix something that got stuck so deep in your subconscious but it is possible! It would make you feel really frustrated or confuse at the start, because a  lot of beliefs that you had would be breaking and making you rethinks them and what you are doing with your actions. And that’s okay! Because you would understand yourself better and see you for who you truly are. A really cool creative person. You would nourishing more your creative mind, projects, and collaborations with people. You would start to work as a team, truly this time, because you would finally see yourself just as valuable as those who you admire are. And you would also go through your projects, because you would commit to them now. I can see you caring so much more about your projects in a practical way, and growing success and financial stability because of it. You might have setbacks after committing with your projects because you don’t really know how to advance with them, but those setbacks are gonna be temporary, so have patience with yourself. Every mistakes teaches a lesson, remember them for any future obstacle. And remember to ask for help when you need it too!

✦; Pile : 3 ˎˊ˗❞

5 of swords, ace of wands, 4 of cups, ace of pentacles, 10 of swords.

“Spider-boy, king of thieves. Weave your little webs of opacity. My pennies made your crown. Trick me once, trick me twice. Don't you know that cash ain't the only price? It's coming back around. And I keep my side of the street clean. You wouldn't know what I mean. 'Cause karma is my boyfriend. Karma is a god. Karma is the breeze in my hair on the weekend. Karma's a relaxing thought. Aren't you envious that for you it's not? Sweet like honey, karma is a cat. Purring in my lap 'cause it loves me. Flexing like a goddamn acrobat. Me and karma vibe like that” — Karma by Taylor Swift

You need to balance your thoughts, desires, and actions. You have to stop acting with your ego. Stop playing with your luck… I feel like you could have so many things but you might be impulsive and make moves that you know you shouldn’t be doing because they aren’t planned or because it might be tripping someone else and not even getting you nothing valuable at the end of it. You might be a little stubborn about this, maybe prefer not to follow “rules” or are scare of doing so because you think it might not work for you? Instead of making risky decision that barely give you anything or sometimes nothing at all. Try taking your time planning and making decision that even if they succeed or not, they would still level you up. 

You have so much potential and a vision as well. But you can’t just go about it without planning nothing at all! Like trying to make a spark into a fire. You need to blow towards the spark correctly, if you don’t, you lose it and you don’t get the fire. And then your motivation is left on the cold. I understand the frustration, but don’t forget about what you have already. You can try to create a fire in the first place because you have the materials already. And you might receive a lot of opportunities that could help you but you don’t take them seriously because they aren’t up to your expectations or because you rush into them without thinking in what ways they could be helpful to you. Whatever it is, you are self sabotaging. You could help yourself up towards what you wants or you could destroy everything on your way. You actions are part of you, so think them through. You are constantly stabbing yourself with fear. Getting overwhelm and falling from exhaustion. Remember, the only thing that you can control is your actions and reactions. So don’t give power to fear and anxiety. Once you release that, you can hold your own power yourself and utilize it to make the right decisions. On choosing what you want, how you want it and how you are going to get it.

Don’t be scare of your potential and stop unleashing your decisions on others. karma might comeback later on to bite you in the back, but play your cards right and it could be your biggest helper! Just keep going and focus on doing better. 

[janus-cadet]

Back with more tarot cards! Last weeks had been a bit more busy, but, finally, some timeto draw. We're continuing the Hazbin Hotel/Helluva Boss series, with none other than hell's greatest boss- Blitzø, as the Four of Pentacles!

(spend so long on the background to have his stupid ass in front of it)

Some explanations for the choice of card under the cut!

Now, the meaning you'll see associated to this card are usually linked to discussion of money and wealth; but while those would still, in my opinion, fit Blitzø's relation with money, I'll focusing far more on the association with feelings, and relations with others.

Upright, and in its most positive state, the Four of Pentacles suggests that you've created something (a business, perhaps!) that secures you financial stability; you can now provide better for those around you, and feel much more independent, when you were struggling with finances before. But the card typically accompanies a scarcity mindset- with money and material possessions, but also toward others. Instead of enjoying your current lifestyle, you are choosing to guard tightly what you have gain, in fear you might lose it all at any time. That fear of loosing what you have stops you from taking a shot at happiness, and from finding fulfilment in your life. You place too much values on material things, as you feel that your self-worth is based on how much you have- which, in turn, might lead you to feel inadequate next to others (like a whole ass prince of hell, who knows).

Beyond all that, the card appears when you are seeking out more control in your life. You're convinced you can do things alone, that you don't need other people to support you: at work, you might, for example, not let others (Moxxie) mess with your area of expertise. In relationship, you may be protective, even possessive, in fear that it would slip between your fingers, to the point of shutting yourself down to not let a crack be visible.

Reversed, the Four of Pentacles can appear when you're starting to re-evaluate what's important to you. You may be starting to loose the tight grip you have on yourself and the things you care about, in order to seek more openly love and happiness. Perhaps you're starting to forgive yourself, mend relations broken in the past?

If that re-evaluation has not come, however, the card warns you that you should start looking for it. You may not realise it, but what you have is slipping through your fingers, because of how you treat it; or maybe you know just to well, and just tighten your hold even more, despite the harm it's doing... just like the Blitzø on the card, holding that pentacle coin tightly to his chest. You are entering the self-protection mode: you wish for stability, security, and certainty, but find yourself unable to accept it as long as you do not deem yourself worthy enough, wealthy enough, to receive it. But that attitude is what threaten the most of what you've built: you have to learn to open yourself. Stability can only be found once you started building it in yourself.

And that's it for today! I hope you like it, I certainly do. I have to admit I wasn't big on Blitzø at first, but that feral imp quickly grew on me.

Now, all the cards I've done so far for this fandom...

Next time, if there's no change of plan, we'll have Charlie and Vaggie, and the Ten of Cups!

[still-a-morosexual-help]

Not Just Bagels

summary: They were a barista. They didn't have the financial stability to be a sugar daddy. Yet were they going to throw that all away just because this one guy had a cute smile?

Yes.

[Fic on AO3]

"WHY CAN'T YOU JUS-"

They stifled a yawn.

"I don't see why I shou-"

Shuffling their feet, they eyed the wall clock.

"I'm your broth-"

Just seven more minutes.

"I don't see how that applie-"

They'd been on their feet for so long now.

"It does! Stop being stin-"

They craned their neck. Squinting their eyes, they try to make out any patterns on the ceiling.

"I wouldn't have to be stingy if you weren't being gree-"

That small discolouring on the left looks like a duck.

"I'm not being greedy! Ya just an assh-"

Eyes back on the clock. Just three more minutes.

"What did you call m-"

There was no one else in the shop. Except, well, them.

"I said what I said! An' I ain't takin' back shi-"

They tried to blow at a speck of dust that drifted too close.

"How dare y- ...After everything I've don-"

They sneezed.

"Ya always do this! Gettin' mad over the smal-"

They tried to stifle a yawn.

"I have the right to get mad when all you do is act ou-"

They looked back at the clock.

"It's not like you'd notice if I did anything el-"

Oh.

"You know that's not true Mamm-"

"It's closing time."

They looked over at their boss, who was towering over one of his brothers. In his perfectly ironed full black suit with its red accents, Lucifer looked more like the particularly ruthless CEO of a world dominating company rather than just a particularly sadistic coffee shop owner. His brother- Mammon? - with his rumpled clothes and partially unbuttoned shirt, instead looked like he had just rolled out of bed.

Lucifer cleared his throat. Standing back, he fixed his suit jacket and gave them an icy glare. He looked remarkably unlike a man who just seconds ago was ready to tackle one of his brothers at his shop's counter.

"Very well," Lucifer said after taking a quick look at the clock. "You can leave after closing up." And with a curt nod, he marched back to his office, without a backwards glance at Mammon, who still stood hunched, with his gaze firmly directed at the ground. His balled fists were trembling.

They went about closing up, making enough noise that Mammon would know they were busy and weren't actually staring at him from the corner of their eye. Which. They weren't.

Once they had finally finished up, they eyed the last remaining item in the display case before making a split second decision and bagging it up. They turned back to Mammon, who had yet to move. At least he had stopped trembling.

"So a bagel, huh?"

Mammon flinches, startling out of whatever daze he had fallen into and whipping his head up to meet their eyes.

"Wha'?"

"A bagel. All that for a bagel, isn't it a bit... much?"

"Wha! No! It ain't a bit 'much'! And who the hell are you anyway!"

"I work here," they say, shrugging carelessly as they tap at their nametag. To be fair, the only reason they knew his name, as opposed to his brothers, was solely due to the number of times they'd heard Lucifer scream it in nothing but unfiltered frustration.

"Yeah, well! That doesn't mean ya can just butt inta our family business," he says with a scowl before proceeding to tell them exactly what family business had led to this latest spat. "An' it's not just 'bout the bagel either! Which is a savoury bagel, just so ya know. It's Lucifer! He never respects me. Never considers anything I say. I'm the second oldest ya know, and he treats me like all I am's a scummy, no good, lying, dumb-"

He stops.

Blinking at them as if he just remembered they were there. With a muttered "Whatever," he turns away but it's not quick enough for them to miss the glazed sheen of built up tears in his eyes nor the subtle trembling that had returned to his hands.

Shit.

Feeling decidedly more uncomfortable, they place the bag on the counter and push it towards him.

"Here."

He looks at them, while using a hand to unsuccessfully hide a sniffle, and looks down at the bag.

"What's this?"

"A bagel. Sorry, a savoury bagel."

He looks at the empty display case and back at the bag and back up at them.

"Why..."

"Cause you wanted one."

"But I don't have money."

"You don't have to pay for it."

"Are ya crazy! Lucifer'll kill m-"

"It's on me. I'll pay for it."

"What. Why!?"

"Cause you wanted one."

They nudge the bag closer to him with a finger.

His hands finally close around it, crinkling the paper as he stares at them, utterly and purely bewildered.

Hasn't anyone ever-

His eyes widen in some kind of realisation and his face flushes a deep scarlet.

"Listen," he says, in a whisper, eyes darting to the door leading to the back. His shoulders do a little shimmy. He licks his lips. "I've, ah, I haven't got any money to pay ya back, 'kay? But, ugh, if ya want anything else..."

He swallows.

What exactly...

He lowers his eyes and looks at them through thick lashes.

What.

"If there's anything ya want me to do..."

What the fuck.

His teeth catch his trembling bottom lip.

WHAT THE FUCK.

"If there's anything ya want from me..."

"I'M NOT EXCHANGING SEXUAL FAVOURS FOR A FUCKING SAVOURY BAGEL!"

Mammon jerks back.

"What! That's not- what!? Then what do you want!"

"Nothing! It's just a bagel! You can just take it! I don't need anything!"

"WHY!"

"BECAUSE YOU WANT IT!"

"Oh."

It's a miracle their screaming hasn't dragged Lucifer out. He's probably listening to his music again, they think, as they eye Mammon's wide-eyed stare. He looks a bit lost. Like someone had pulled the rug right out from under him. Like someone had revealed some secret of the universe that he had not been privy to. Like someone had just told him he didn't need to give something back in return when he was given a simple treat.

"Oh," he says again, softly. Then it happens. His face flushes again when he smiles. A bright lopsided smile with dimples and too many sharp teeth. Even from across the counter, his eyes shine a deep blue with specks of pure gold and oh.

Oh no.

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

They notice him after that.

Not that they didn't notice him before, he tended to be too loud and energetic to ignore. But now. Now they notice him.

They noticed his loud, obnoxious laugh.

His bright eyes.

The stupid sunglasses he usually wore indoors.

The way he'd trail after Lucifer like a yappy pup.

The way he prefered their savoury items to their sweet ones.

The way he'd whip his head away when they looked up and caught him staring at them.

In short, they thought their hard-ass boss's brother was cute.

In short, they were in trouble.

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

The first time he came to the counter after that day, they'd slid a bagged savoury bagel to him as he reached into his wallet.

"Forget it," they'd said, eyeing a spot over his left ear.

"Hmm?"

"It's on me."

"What?" He'd squawked, reminding them of a bird of some sort.

"It's on me."

"Oh?"

"Yup."

And he smiled. That same silly, bright smile and their stomach flipped.

It was a crow, they remembered.

You're in trouble, they remembered.

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

It was a bit ridiculous, honestly. They were spending money just because the way a man smiled gave them butterflies.

They were a barista. They didn't have the financial stability to be a sugar daddy or whatever the fuck else this was.

Then Mammon smiled that smile again, and all thoughts of not wasting anymore money on savoury bagels immediately died off.

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

It's almost a month later that Mammon asks for a plate.

"It's closing time."

"I know," he says with a careless shrug. He makes grabby hands towards them, "Now give me my savoury bagel."

He has long since stopped pretending to reach for his wallet, and they hand over the said bagel with an overly fond roll of their eyes.

He sits himself at the counter and watches them go about cleaning up. He talks about his day and whines about his brothers and then asks them about theirs.

When they turn back around, he's watching them with something just as overly fond.

He doesn't rush to cover it up like is his usual. Instead, he hops off his stool and tilts his head towards the door.

"Headin' out? I can walk with ya?"

The smile on his face isn't the one they've paid good money and savoury bagels to see. Instead, it's something new and soft and delicate and just as beautiful.

Their breath catches.

They nod.

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

It becomes their new routine.

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

"This is ridiculous."

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"You know exactly what I'm talking about and you need to stop enabling him."

"I don't know what you're talking about."

Lucifer calls out their name with a sharp snap, so similar to how he had spoken to them during their first few months here. But after nights of him complaining about the insane shenanigans one can only face when living with six younger brothers, over bottles of expensive wine, they'd come to see a softer side to him. Which is why the tone of his voice comes as an unpleasant shock.

"Yeah?" They ask, still aiming at innocence.

"What are you doing?"

"Cleaning the -"

"With Mammon."

"...nothing?".

"Don't lie to me."

"It's just a bagel. It's, you know, our thing. You know friends have things. You'd know friends have things if you didn't have such a huge stick shoved up your-"

"It's not just a bagel".

" Well, no. It's a savoury bage-"

"And it's not just a friend thing. Is it?"

"I mean..."

"At least, it's not for Mammon."

"That's- what."

"Now I need to know, is it just a friend thing to you. Is it just a savoury bagel."

"I - "

"The truth."

"No."

"Okay."

"Okay?"

"I do have one thing to say."

"...okay."

"If you break my baby brother's heart I'll feed you to my dogs."

"If I break Mammon's heart I'll feed myself to your dogs."

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

"YO! Dummy! Where are ya?"

"In the back! Give me a sec."

"HURRY UP!"

"Fine, jeez! You're the one who's late, I already finished cleaning up," they're back in their casual clothes when they walk out.

Rounding the counter, they grab the bagged bagel, "Here, you'll have to eat it on the way. I need to close up."

"Ah, don't worry 'bout it. Lucifer said he'll close up."

"Lucifer said?"

"Yup," he says, popping the p and rocking back on his heels. He places the bag back on the counter, "Don't need this either."

His face is flushed, but his lips are pulled back in a proud little smile.

"Oh? Finally figured out cream bagels are where it's at?"

"Ha! Cream bagels ain't ever gonna be 'where it's at'."

"Yeah? Well, then what's wrong?"

"Well," his face turns a deeper shade of red, but that small smile never leaves his face. "See, I got a whole bunch of gigs lately."

"Right?"

"Meaning I got a whole bunch of cash right now..."

"Okay?"

"Meaning if I wanted to, ya know, take someone out to, say? A carnival that's just come into town. And then maybe, a dinner at a nice restaurant?"

"Yeah?"

"That'd be something that's...possible."

"Right. But who'd you take?"

"See, there's this real dumbass barista who's been blowing their paycheck on savoury bagels for the owner's brother for months now."

"Man, they sound like a real idiot."

"They are. So, ya know, it'd only be right if someone as kind and generous and amazing -"

"- and great as The Great Mammon?"

"Right! Took 'em out."

"On a date?"

"If ya wanna put it inta words, then sure?"

"Well," they say. Their face is flushed and their stomach is rolling and their heart is thudding a frantic beat against their chest. They lean forward and press a soft kiss to the corner of Mammon's mouth. "I'm sure this dumbass of yours will love that."

He reaches forward to hold their hands in his, giving them a squeeze, Mammon leans his forehead against theirs.

"Yeah?"

The brilliant goofy smile that stretches across his face is mirrored back in theirs.

"Yeah."

->

[First Posted: 4th August 2020]

[Fic on AO3]

[azucar-skull]

Shedding some light on my situation:

Yesterday, I opened up emergency commissions out of the blue with a very brief explanation on the current crisis at home. As promised, here are some more details on the situation.

Last Thanksgiving, I got disowned by half of my family on my mother's side after I exposed my abusers for what they are. Ever since I got home, it's one thing after another.

Recovery (physically from injuries too), chronic illness diagnosis, Grandpa having a hospital emergency (where I had to clean up his blood), Green Eyed Mask going on hiatus due to stress, finally finishing GEM...then my dad broke the TV.

It was so unlike him to be shouting at my mom for no reason, in my gut, I knew there was a bigger picture.

Dad getting upset, my aunts and uncles coming to visit more often, telling everyone to not say "Happy birthday" to Grandpa because he's too far gone, my abuela bringing out Grandpa's antiques from his time in military.

Last week, I was let out of class early and arrived home to everyone huddled in the kitchen with paperwork. While no one was looking, I saw that the paperwork was for Grandpa's will.

My grandpa is now 88 years old, the youngest sibling in his immediate family. His older brothers and father died at war, his sister and mother of old age. It was a given that this year is his last, he'll be lucky if he makes it to July.

A long anticipated death causes stress on the entire family. I've noticed that my body is out of balance, sobbing at random intervals all day even if I'm feeling fine. It's messing up my sleep, appetite, even my fucking periods which were already a bitch in the first place.

I avoided telling you guys because art is what kept me going. I would hide in my room and draw all day, the rest of the world fading. That's all I do now, hide.

But everyone else in my family is suffering too. My dad broke the TV 2 months ago and home is falling apart by the day. My brother opted to stealing food from the grocery store and living off of chicken tenders and fries from the deli. Mom is never seen, absorbed in her own work as much as I am. The house is a mess, the fridge is empty, bills piling up, riding pay check to paycheck.

It's not that we are poor or losing financial stability (I think), if we were I could turn to my community college for help but I'm not eligible. It's the fact that everyone is so down and busy that we forget the basics like food, long overdue haircuts, doctor appointments, taking care of the dogs, etc.

It's an "every man for themselves" kind of situation. And as a disabled person, I'm unable to work a stable job. So that's why I opened commissions. Money that I can hold of my own should there be a situation like now where I had to buy food the second I got my first order.

But this also means I am going to be more busy taking care of myself and my family. Comic production will be delayed a bit, and I unfortunately can't say for sure if Feral Casey AU will be ready by the end of May.

All I ask is for your support and patience. Reblogging my commission post helps a lot more than you think. And thank you again for everything.

Commission Post

[secularprolifeconspectus]

You and your colleagues who advocate the prohibition of abortions feel moral satisfaction from the imaginary salvation of unborn children, but do you care what happens to these children after they are born? Are there people who will take care of them, do these people have the resources and opportunities, are they able to give them everything for life? Because very often those who persuade people not to have abortions and give birth disappear from the lives of children when they cease to be in the womb

First, the HUBRIS you have to have to assume we're saving imaginary children. If you want to argue fetuses aren't people, then just do that. Don't come at me with some bad-faith whataboutism. Make a good fucking argument to prove some humans aren't people or shut the fuck up! Burden of proof is on you!!

Second, thanks for giving me an excuse to talk about some of my FAVORITE organizations and initiatives.

The short answer to both of your questions is YES.

At one point in time I also fell for the forced-stillbirther propaganda that said "pro-lifers don't do anything for mothers once the baby is born!" But after researching the early Pro-Life Movement, I learned I was lied to! Just see this article from 1975:

"It will be called the Emergency Pregnancy Service Aid Centers... According to Mooney, the centers will “try to help women with problem pregnancies, with money, housing and counseling. We will try to find a way to ameliorate her situation.” Mooney said that many people have donated money for the projects and others have offered to provide shelter for as long as needed.” Mooney, whose group is eight months old, said it is “an alternative to the right to lifers. We are a little more liberal. There are two shows in town.”

So from the very beginning Pro-Lifers have been doing the work to support mothers.

That doesn't mean some mothers didn't fall through the cracks of course, but it's not because *no one* would help them. It's not up to Pro-Lifers to end child suffering before we can end baby murder, anymore than it was up to slave abolitionists to end racism before they could free Black people. Fetuses are actual people, and killing people doesn't solve issues we must solve as a society; that is a "final solution," and it is genocidal.

Now who is doing this work in the modern day, you ask? Well, let me introduce you to

Let Them Live

Currently (November 2023) they are raising $28,000 for Carly so she can keep her baby and get back on her feet! I've seen them raise over $20,000 in funds for these mothers time and time again. Their friend Maison DesChamps sometimes free-scales skyscrapers to raise awareness for their fundraisers. It's insane. They even have an "Adopt-A-Mom" program. From their website:

Let Them Live assistance is tailored directly to each individual mom’s circumstances. Generally, this includes paying for rent, utilities, car payments, gas, food, a baby registry, financial literacy classes, counseling, and assistance in finding full time employment. Our counselors work with each mom to create a financial plan that is specific to their own unique situation. Generally, the counselors are able to get the moms completely back on their feet during the last few months of their pregnancy. Our aim is to facilitate each mom’s financial stability and independence by the time her baby is born.

And there are SO many testimonials from women they have helped. (<-Links)

I also want to give a shout-out to New Wave Feminists and their Stellar Shelter that helps immigrant and refugee moms at the border!

I also know individuals who have made huge sacrifices to help women and children after the baby is born. My friend Lauren threw herself on the car windshield of a mother who was driving to an abortion and begged her to not do it, promising to raise the child for as long as she needed if she wouldn't kill him. She didn't kill Mayson, and Lauren raised him for an entire year on her own until his mother was back on her feet.

And there's organizations that lobby for better government social safety nets for struggling parents, such as Democrats for Life.

Recently the Pro-Life Movement has also established two new campaigns to help alleviate the struggles of parenting. The first is Make Birth Free, which I hope is self-explanatory. The second is "Building a Post-Roe Future", which entails:

Accessible and affordable healthcare for parents and children—including expanding Medicaid funding for prenatal care, delivery, and postpartum expenses—to reduce the financial barriers to welcoming a new child; Expanded child tax credits that promote family formation and lift children out of poverty; Paid parental leave that ensures every infant can receive the close attention and nurturing care they need from their mothers and fathers in the early months of life; Flexible work hours to enable families to establish a tranquil home life, with predictable work schedules and better options for meaningful part-time employment; Affordable childcare options that support working parents, without disincentivizing the choice to raise young children at home that many families say they would prefer;  Fully enforce existing prenatal child support laws while seeking effective new ways to demand that all men take responsibility for children they father.

I hope that's enough to prove to you that we really do give a damn!

What are YOU doing to help women who feel financially forced to abort but would keep their babies if only they had the money?

If your answer is "I donate to kill their babies instead of making parenting an equally accessible choice", you're a hypocrite, a loser, and an enemy to the working class!! BECOME A BETTER PERSON AND DO BETTER!!!!

[catboybiologist]

Hello, I've heard from a few trans women that their transition made higher education impossible I wasn't sure if they were talking about college or grad school, but since you're a woman in a PhD program I was wondering if you think transitioning would make getting a higher education harder.

Thanks

Someone who might be trans that wants to pursue a master's

Hm. This is weird to answer. Unfortunately I can't offer TOO much insight here. I'm very much a baby trans (~1.5 months HRT) and I present as a man day to day without issue (seriously, y'all have NO idea how masculine I look outside of my pictures). When I do finally socially transition, I'll probably have more thoughts.

With that out of the way, here's my personal experience so far:

I don't think I would have transitioned if I was NOT in academia/pursuing my PhD. I think most of the issues people run into can be divided into three categories:

1. Financial difficulty with acquiring HRT or other gender affirming care

2. Closer ties (financially and emotionally) to family and being seen less as an independent adult means greater pressure to not transition, and consequences if you do

3. Academic stress and pressure while you're undergoing emotional changes that may make things difficult short term.

Personally I was able to dodge most of those issues.

A huge part of this is because I spent a lot of time meticulously ensuring a lot of aspects of my life are in place before I started HRT. I waited until I was out of undergrad, which has weirder finances, I scoped out options at my student health center vs in the community, established queer community, waited a year to start in a good lab and establish there, scoped that lab out for queer acceptance before I joined, and in general became more financially and emotionally secure. Also, while I'm still in good terms with my parents, I'm not financially or emotionally reliant on them anymore- so if that changes when I come out, it won't affect me as much.

Looking back, it's hard to say whether I would recommend doing things this way. During the time that I was "figuring things out", I was dying. I was depressed and aimless, and I couldn't make happiness or contentment my baseline emotion. Starting an online femboy account was my only outlet for a while. Also, my results are going to be less drastic now that I've waited until I'm 25 to start.

Obviously, I still have the stress of a PhD to worry about while my emotions and body are changing. But to be honest.... My PhD has been kinder to me academically than my undergrad. All of my goals center around two or three long term, overarching projects instead of a million tiny assignment and study snippets from a million directions. I personally think this is easier to manage even if it's more work overall.

In return, the academia environment has been good to me about my queerness. There's a gender care specialist on campus via student health where I can get HRT, queer organizations and events are much easier to come by in a university environment, and people on average are far more educated and open minded towards LGBT issues than the general public. I have a role in the main queer graduate student group here, and it would have been hard for me to find explicitly supportive friends without that.

I'm gonna throw an additional paranoid note your way: a master's degree is hell for everyone. While the exact ways in which this is true vary from program to program, but in general, they feel like the worst of both worlds from undergrad and a PhD. You're locked out of or have less of a chance for the financial stability and employment positions of a PhD position, but you're also locked out of the financial aid and support of undergrads. I'm very biased from a miserable MS experience, though.

So yeah. I think my experience has been different than a lot of people, but I hope there was some small insight there!

[yvettecyrus]

┈ ⟡ ( 𝑦𝑣𝑒𝑡𝑡𝑒 𝑐𝑦𝑟𝑢𝑠 ) !

name. yvette (eve) cyrus | age. 30 | 12/09 | sagittarius.

occupation. tracker. (hides her occupation as a writer) | single

British, born in London, England. raised in NYC.

sexual orientation. bisexual.

┈ ⟡ ( 𝑝𝚑𝑦𝑠𝑖𝑐𝑎𝑙 𝑎𝑝𝑝𝑒𝑎𝑟𝑎𝑛𝑐𝑒 ) !

dark brunette, wavy semi-long hair and dark chocolate colored eyes. Slim fit athletic body (very flexible and quick, trained in the martial arts)

aesthetic lies in casual dark modern style, consuming of numerous leather jackets and anything lacking of color.

faceclaim: daisy johnson voice claim: lily collins.

┈ ⟡ ( 𝑝𝑒𝑟𝑠𝑜𝑛𝑎𝑙𝑖𝑡𝑦 ) !

reserved an nonchalant, she’s guarded, maybe not as much as a loner as john wick but it does take a while to finally get her to open up. she gets flustered easily, which also comes along with her tendency to overthink.

she’s smart and calculated, easily finding ways around a problem because of her wit. she’s always willing to help someone help if they really need it, but is expecting something in return.

is seen working proficiently in her workspace; a bit of a perfectionist, she works only to deem in high success. I mean, she even graduated in an Ivy League.

Negative attributes. doesn’t usually empathize with others, seeming bitter and cold. People in her workspace have warned others to not interact with her, due to her guarded well being.

Positive attributes. Extremely loyal and is willing to do what needs to be done for the ones she loves. Has motherly attributes, black cat energy and listens to other since she usually remains quiet.

Weaknesses. easily jealous, mean, impatient and tends to get angered easily, avoidant attachment style.

Likes. Cats, being alone in her room work, music, having someone around that has the opposite personality of her ( creates a good contrast, she might seem annoyed at first but deep down she enjoys it).

Dislikes. Disloyalty, liars, anyone inefficient and narcissists.

🐈‍⬛🦢☕️. spotify playlist.

┈ ⟡ ( 𝑟𝑒𝑙𝑎𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛𝑠𝚑𝑖𝑝𝑠 ) !

Relationships based on those she has already met.

John Wick: Acquaintance (started off as friends but due to busy schedules and work their relationship grew apart)

Winston: Mentor (helped guide her through the criminal underworld, training her and appointing her the job of a tracker).

Charon: Acquaintance (friend of Winston’s)

Chara: Pet cat (female black american shorthair.)

┈ ⟡ ( 𝑏𝑎𝑐𝑘𝑠𝑡𝑜𝑟𝑦 ) !

Yvette Cyrus was born in London, England, to a British father and an American mother. Her parents moved to New York City when she was young, seeking better opportunities. Growing up in the bustling city, Yvette witnessed both the glamour and the grit of urban life. Her parents, although hardworking, struggled to make ends meet, which instilled in Yvette a drive for success and financial stability.

From a young age, Yvette showed a natural aptitude for martial arts, thanks to her father's insistence on self-defense training. She excelled in various disciplines, developing agility and combat skills that would serve her well in her future endeavors. However, her parents had dreams of her pursuing a more conventional career, perhaps in law or academia.

Despite their aspirations, Yvette found herself drawn to the shadows of the criminal underworld that lurked in the city's underbelly. While attending an Ivy League university, she secretly delved into the world of espionage and clandestine operations, honing her skills as a covert operative. It was during this time that she crossed paths with characters like Winston and Charon, who recognized her potential and offered her guidance in navigating the treacherous landscape of assassins and mercenaries, working as a tracker.

Upon graduation, Yvette concealed her true occupation under the guise of a writer, using her cover to discreetly carry out contracts and eliminate targets with surgical precision. Her reserved demeanor and guarded nature made her an enigmatic figure among her peers, earning her a reputation as a formidable but unpredictable presence in the criminal underworld.

Despite her reluctance to form close bonds, Yvette developed a mutual respect and camaraderie with figures like John Wick, who saw in her a kindred spirit burdened by the weight of their pasts. Their interactions were marked by a shared understanding of the harsh realities of their profession, tempered by moments of silent solidarity and unspoken trust.

They don’t speak too often, the both of them too equally busy to ever interact.

As Yvette navigates the murky waters of betrayal and deception, she grapples with her own inner demons, haunted by the ghosts of her past and the choices that led her down this path. Yet, beneath her stoic facade lies a fierce determination to carve out her own destiny and defy the expectations placed upon her by society and circumstance.

[k-s-morgan]

This is the final post this year! And oh, what a year it was. Bombings. Explosions. The threat of my city being occupied by Ruzzians. Destruction and millions of broken fates; stupid, bitter hatred and violence from people who claimed to be a brotherly nation; waking up and going to sleep under the air raid alarms.

Many horrible things happened this year. Without a doubt, this was the worst year of my life because since February 24, I have never once felt safe. Fortunately, no person I deeply care for died because of this war, but some of those I knew were murdered or tortured or shot at by Ruzzians — for no reason at all. A family friend was trying to escape Bucha with his elderly neighbors, and Ruzzians opened fire. They managed to escape with no serious wounds by sheer miracle. Another family friend, also from Bucha, was found raped, tortured, and murdered after Ruzzians fled.

These stories are endless, and my own fears, tears, and pain pale in comparison. Will these terrorists and their supporters pay for what they’ve been doing? I hope so. Because I don’t want to live in a world where injustice this large, this outrageous is allowed to happen with no consequences. And sure, I know that injustice has always been there: so many people already suffered from senseless wars; so many horrible events keep happening daily, but when it’s far away, you learn how to distance yourself from it. When it’s your people dying, your cities being levelled, your loved ones and pets jumping in terror from any loud sound — it hits so much stronger. There is no escape, only a desperate hope for something good, something fair.

But throughout it all, many of you were there with me, and this made a difference I didn’t even hope for. So many of you kept supporting me with your messages, notes, asks and comments. So many offered me temporary accommodations in case I need to flee; so many supported me financially via Patreon, with some still doing it. It means the world. It returned the semblance of safety and stability to me, and it helped me get back to writing. I think this year was actually more productive than those before: this is amazing and I have you to thank.

Every time I expressed hope that the New Year would be kinder, I got the opposite results. So I’m not going to wish for anything this time, at least not aloud. If these wishes count for anything, I think mine are obvious without me voicing them.      

To add some more soul and personality to this post, here are some pics I’ve made lately!

Here’s me and one of my three cats, Laoriy, during the last air raid. The blast wave reached our doors and my baby decided to seek comfort from me.

And here’s this cat in calmer circumstances)) Other pics will be under the cut.

Here’s me sleeping after one of the air raids, both of my other cats, Simura and Tom, at either side. 

My most beloved pigeon Daikiriya meeting this year’s snow.

My Mom decorating the hallway during the latest air raid.

My dad reuniting with his cat Tom.

How my apartment block looks during the black-out:

And finally, me today at my Christmas tree) It’s a very old little artificial tree that has been with me since my birth. We don’t buy a real one because I don’t want to part with something this important; we don’t buy a new, better-looking tree because this one is a friend and I love it.

Thank you all again! Wishing those of you who are going to celebrate a fantastic day, but most of all, I hope all of you will enjoy normalcy, stability, and peace. These things are so underrated but they are so very important. 

I love you all.