#don’t make me…. not at 7 am
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The butterflies in my stomach going CRRRAZZY over him…
#boku no hero academia#my hero academia#bnha#mha#dabi#touya todoroki#bnha dabi#mha dabi#bnha season 7#mha season 7#THE FUCKING SOB I JUST LET OUT BECAUSE OF HOW MUCH I LOVE FREAKY ASS FERAL SMIRK OF HIS#HIS EYES. OH. MY. GOD. I AM SO IN LOVE??????#need this man to stop playing with my heart this way because what do you mean that every time i see him i cry????#also… HANDS 👹👹👹👹 HIS HANDS 👹👹👹👹#don’t make me talk… it’s better if i stay silent… because my thoughts every time i see his hands are so impure…
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phinktober day 11: ur fav AU
i dont rlly do AUs so i just drew them how i wish they would dress xo
(dan’s tats r carnations and snowdrops and phil’s r roses and honeysuckle. for no reason 🤗)
ALSO bonus version w makeup bc i couldn’t pick <3
#soz copied caption from twt i have been drawing for 7 hours straight i need to drink water eat something take a piss and a shower and sleep#no braincell rn#goodbye it is wine time#hope yall like this idfk what people what these days other than ship art but im not doing that so sorry no knights fucking for you#just me making them look like me bc i’m a narcissist etc#god i am way too tired to be yapping rn i have no filter whatever ABYWAY HASHTAG DANIPHIW#art2 and craft2#dnp#phanart#dan and phil#daniel howell#amazingphil#dan howell#phil lester#phinktober#punk edits irl come back to me please#i’m missing a fkn hashtag i just know it whatever i don’t CARE im TIRED i have eaten nothing but half a jar of picked today i feel so goblin#idk why i tunnelvisioned w this piece it’s not even that good or detailed LMFAO#actually the tattoos were a BITCH and also made me sad bc of my whole failed tattooing career etc#OH MY GOD WHY AM I YAPPING SO MUCH SOMEONE EUTHANISE ME#good NIGHT !!!!!!#pickles not picked btw but i’m not retyping all of that#now i’m sad bc i’m out of pickles and it’s 10pm and everything is shut:( hate my stupid gay life
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I love how neferiously hugh laurie delivered his lines in that 5x1 scene where house is blackmailing wilson. because the dialogue could’ve been conveyed in a manner that was obviously facetious and unserious (like the way RSL was playing the scene: “You’d jeopardise a patient—? 😒🙄) but he literally chose to go “If it keeps you here😈👹” in the most deadass, diabolical tone. so the result is that we have house sounding like a genuine psychopath as he threatens to let a woman die and then wilson proving he’s an even BIGGER one by responding with, like, mild exasperation at best. 10/10 dynamic no notes
#I know I yap about this 24/7 but I can’t get over it#I feel like the actors being on such wildly different wavelengths when it comes to hilson is what makes it so REAL#barring the true angst of the early seasons#they’re in different genres altogether sometimes. chef’s kiss#house will say something in a way that is honest to god giving dark romance#and then wilson responds with the air of bugs bunny#and that’s the essence of their characters and relationship as a whole#and probably why they’ve been trapped in a game of gay chicken for 20 years#house md#hilson#house/wilson#greg house#gregory house#james wilson#hatecrimes md#does this make grammatical sense? I am running on redbull adderall and 2 hours of sleep so I truly have no clue#and by grammatical sense I mean tumblr-wise of course#is it coherent? should be the question#actually don’t tell me. ion wanna know
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like. do you ever think about how weird the mcu was to their actors around infinity war and endgame. like that was weird. what do you mean some of them only got sections of scripts and filmed scenes in parts and didn’t always know what character they were talking to. that’s weird.
#i might be misremembering but i don’t think i am?#and i know tom spoiled some things but like. what was this. they’re all professional adults#how are you supposed to make good acting choices when you don’t know what’s happening?#i assume they stopped doing that because i didn’t hear of it afterward#either that or they made everyone contractually obligated to shut up#but i would hope they realized it was pointless especially bc people stopped caring As Much after endgame#not to say people don’t care but the superhero bubble popped quite a bit TO ME#not pjo#chitter chatter#sorry I just think about this all the time because. it was weird? right???#if im wrong about what happened im sorry it’s like 7 am im just spitting random posts#(disclaimer: dropped mcu officially after no way home and stopped paying attention#for a LONG long time and only hear about it through friends so again: could be wrong)
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Shoutout to the furry transformer fans this one’s for you
#i’m going to be completely honest i TRIED to make a general villain themed one of these posts#but looking thru my 450 screenshots I took while watching the show I only had like 7 screenshots featuring villains that WEREN’T steeljaw#and I don’t even think that’s cuz I love steeljaw (I only have around 29 screenshots of him alone)#I think it’s cuz#1)I don’t care much for all the rid2015 villains (yes all of them recurring and one-off ones none of them interested me)#(except for maybe saberhorn in his intro episode but only in that one I just like how he immediately creates & one-sided rivalry w/ Bee)#and#2)I find the main cast much more fun and interesting (if you couldn’t tell by my previous posts)#I’ll post the few general villain images I made in another post but I’ll need to hold myself back from shit talking starscream fans *sighs*#cuz GOD are yall annoying#I’m THIS CLOSE👌 to making a rant post about how much they misconstrue his character in both TFP and RID2015#you know what I am going to post about it I nearly just posted a rant in these tags I need to get it out of my system or it’s gonna kill me#rid 15#rid 2015#rid15#rid2015#tf rid 2015#tf rid15#transformers rid2015#transformers robots in disguise#robots in disguise 2015#transformers robots in disguise 2015#rid steeljaw#rid bumblebee#steelbee#for obvious reasons
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Am I aware that adderall can’t do its job if I don’t get enough sleep?
Have I utterly failed to make use of this knowledge?
Am I, an entire adult with a wife and a salary, hoping “you wouldn’t want to disappoint HP, would you?” is the thing that finally motivates me to go to bed before two in the morning?
The answers to these questions will probably not surprise you!
#one of the worst parts of adhd#is the way it collapses everything from ‘five minutes in the future’ to ‘five years in the future’ into one The Future#‘the future isn’t real. it can’t hurt me.’ does make it a lot easier to deal with anxiety#but on the other hand#‘if I stop doing [activity] I won’t get to do it again until The Future. which is basically like never being able to do it again.’#‘sure I should be getting ready. but I don’t have to be there until The Future and that’s not for a long time.’#‘I am hungry. but making food takes several minutes which means it’s in the future and unrelated to Present Me.’#I would describe all of these thought patterns as A Problem#and adderall helps but not 24/7 and not if I’m chronically staying up late#which can feel a lot like needing a key that’s locked inside a box in order to open the box’s lock#so here we are. help me make better life choices fictional character. fictional character please motivate me to make healthy choices.#sleepless domain
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people are saying he « led her on » because he did. the fact that he kissed her in the first episode set the tone for the rest of the season and if you can’t perceive the flirting I’m sorry but how?? he didn’t make anything clear he sent the craziest mixed signals in the world. there’s nothing revolutionary about claiming that Martha was being pushy toward someone who was clearly not interested it’s 1) weird to claim in what it suggests about her 2) factually not true.
I wasn’t gonna respond to this at first because the top half of this ask is pretty much just individual interpretation and I don’t really care about it. Like, no, to me, the Doctor doesn’t seem especially flirty towards Martha. He’s just sort of Like That. That’s his damage, you know, Mr. I need to traumadump on anyone who tolerates being around me for more than five minutes. Mr. If I don’t develop an intensely codependent emotional bond with the companion I have currently I’ll die. It doesn’t read to me as him trying to lead her on because that bit’s honest, and he does it with damn near every companion he’s ever had.
And if nothing else, because we do see Ten when he tries to flirt intentionally and he’s a fuckin dork about it. Kind of guy who looked up romance in the dictionary and took notes. Kinda guy who draws diagrams to maximize kissing potential. It would have been obvious even to me (<- romance-blind as all fuck) if he was flirting with Martha on purpose because he’s not smooth at all; he flirts like he’s gotten lines in a play and he’s super excited to be the main star.
But anyway, as I was saying, that’s just how I see it. And if you see it different, no skin off my back, I just disagree.
But I take umbrage with you putting words in my mouth. I never said Martha was pushy towards him. Because yeah, she’s not. If I implied that she was, then it was a result of poor phrasing on my part. Martha’s not at fault for what she feels, for wanting there to come something of it. No more at fault than the Doctor is for not returning those feelings. It’s a bit weird that you’re assuming that I think one of them has to be the bad guy here when that was the opposite of what I was saying. My point was: When it comes to their romantic subtext of their relationship, it’s weird to pretend like either of them are to blame for them not being in a relationship at the end of s3, and even weirder to assert that as part of why Martha supposedly wouldn’t like the Doctor afterwards when they’re. friends. they continue to be friends into s4.
Martha’s not pushy. She has a crush on her friend. It happens. He doesn’t return it. This also happens. Both of these facts are pushed to the extreme because he’s a time-traveling alien with poor emotional skills and she’s put herself in the position of needing to help him from minute one of meeting each other. That’s why it’s fun to watch, because the Doctor is both so open and so unavailable in turns, because Martha’s feelings for him grow and change as she knows more about her Doctor until she decides to step back.
I don’t know, man. You seem to be coming at this as if one of them has to be The Problem™️. I don’t think either of them is, not so definitively. I think boiling their relationship down to that is reductive and an insult to the way they both grow over s3, to Martha’s choice to continue to be his friend while also establishing her own boundaries, to the fact that the Doctor is able to let her go without immediately trying to kill himself afterwards when she’s not there to catch him.
#the thing about the doctor is that if you want to tell me that he’s Extra Special Flirty With This Companion.#i dunno. feels like something that requires a lot of proof lmao. because the doctor is a freak who latches onto people like a barnacle and#gets way too invested way too quick and holds on like he’ll die if he even thinks of letting go. he’s just like that. he’s just like that.#he’s like that with rose he’s like that with martha he’s like that with donna amy clara bill!!!! these relationships are all different but#the common core is that the doctor is a freak! the doctor clings on too tight!!! the doctor will fuck you up he loves you so much!!!#idk! is it more leading on for the doctor to kiss martha to pull off a plan than it is for him to reshape amy’s life around him on accident#and then show up when she’s an adult to finally whisk her away. or to let clara do emotional infidelity with him for months while#insisting that he’s not her boyfriend. i don’t think ever he is. i think he’s just like gravity. mavity. you’re gonna orbit him because he’s#something cosmic and unknowable. and he’s also your best friend. he’s always too much and too tangible all at once.#am i making any sense here.#ask#martha jones#the doctor#tenth doctor#doctor who#idk man its like 7 in the morning where i am im not awake enough to talk martha/ten semantics. personally i think they should have made out#on screen even more without ever clarifying the nature of their relationship so that they had even weirder and more complicated feelings#about each other.
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Happy pride to everyone I wish everyone in lgbtq+ a safe and prosperous life of being who you are!
Anyways byyyeeeee enjoy and spread your pride!
#I learned about being queer and trans pretty early 7-9#it wasn’t explained really I confessed immediately having never seen anything homophobic or transphobic#my parents were accepting not really the trans part and still make mistakes to hurt me but they try I’d like to think#I’m going to be try to be more active in my community socially not in a I make gay fanart way but actively participating in protests and#but yeah this is what I am makes more sense why I don’t have pronouns listed ey?#be safe out there#pride month#transgender#agender
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I am fighting for my life to be mentally stable and it’s not working
#personal*#jess talks#trigger warning cus I’m feeling really low and might vent#but genuinely I want to give up#I don’t want to exist#I feel like a burden and a scrounger#I realised yesterday that everything I have is because of someone else#I haven’t earnt anything for myself or done anything with my life#I complain that I can’t support myself#yet I make no effort to fix that#im scared of my insecurity to do anything#I’m scared I’m not good enough#I’m scared to exist in my own home#it doesn’t feel like my home#I haven’t felt ‘at home’ since before uni#I’ve moved house 6 times in the past 7 years#I never feel secure or safe#and I feel responsible#I wish I could just go get a good paying job and support myself and my family#all I want is my independence back like I had at uni#but even at uni I was living off of a loan I’ll never be able to pay off#my whole existence is a waste#I’m contemplating giving up on my art and business because it’s getting me no where#I might as well give up entirely#I can’t see any positive resolutions in sight and I feel so helpless#but all I’m doing is feeling sorry for myself#my parents are sm worse off than I am currently yet I’m the one having panic attacks and terrified to leave my room??#I’m gonna be 26 still living with my parents achieving nothing for myself#with no relationship experience and not an inclining of self respect#grow up Jess
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AN ANIMATED FILM ABT JASON TODD & DICK GRAYSON IS COMING OUT??? an origin story of the robins??? oh………. interesting…………. (said nervously)
#you all may not know this abt me but i was Heavily a dc/batman/jason todd stan 🙂↕️#so while i AM intrigued by this… i don’t know how i feel abt them BOTH being orphan thieves 😭#them as a dynamic duo is far more interesting when they’re ADULTS like AS nightwing & redhood#bc i think the interesting part abt their relationship is that dick is robin first and then later on jason becomes robin#i forgot if dick was a teen titan or if he was on his way to bludhaven to make a name for himself as nightwing when jason become robin idk#listen shit gets retconned and my brain can’t remember if things were pre or post crisis anymore 😭#BUT IT’S LIKE… dick is like 5-7 years older than jason canonically i’m pretty sure so 😭 hmm#i prefer dick’s origin story of him as a flying grayson in the circus 🙂↕️#and then jason as the one who steals from batman 😭#but we’ll see how this goes ig like personally my expectations are underneath the water atp i usually don’t trust DC w good adaptations#so hopefully it’s decent… i’ll be watching it anyways bc i love these characters to death#personal
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Celebrating the last day of the full time job before I get to go back to only 1-2 days because of school. GET ME OUTTA HERE
#I should work more otherwise I’m gonna struggle even harder to pay tuition next year#but hey the worlds gonna collapse by 2050 anyway#I shouldn’t be complaining but my job could not get more boring#you’d think it be fun. it’s a record store#well#it’s not doing well business wise and so I have literally nothing to do#if I have to try and make alphabetizing the store stretch on for 7 hours one more day I might in fact implode#if I have to pretend to be busy for 7 hours I’m going to cause the apocalypse myself#I hope one of the pet stores get back to be about my applications#at least my boss and coworkers are nice#pet store hire me I know how to take care of turtles#back on the nothing to do thing I am not exaggerating this has been my life for like two months at this point#I have never felt more useless#but I have anxiety so finding another job will be hard#people don’t like hiring obviously anxious people as their customer service workers#besides I’ve already applied to like five different places and have heard nothing#grrrrrrrrrrrrr
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.
#obvious thing to say but.#there’s some connection between being plugged into the news 24/7 and being depressed#and I don’t think it’s just that the news is depressing though that doesn’t help#it’s also that depressed people seek it out as a space to live in#or—not the news exactly. not the word I want#political discourse? online arguing?#and yet also I know that my own demands for peace (selfish) are not quite the answer to it#idk. I am very tired of political discourse and the well-worn grooves of its channels#but I would like to know how I personally would like to engage with if#*it. tumblr pls#and I don’t particularly know yet.#I am tired of how it sort of DOES just force you into a slot???? doesn’t matter what anyone says about nuance or a different perspective#when there are ‘two sides’ people be picking a side!#which I guess makes sense. but I also kind of hate it#fills me with fear and loathing#anyways. just rambling
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me a week ago: i love my job!!
me now, after having a mid-year review that amounted to you’re doing an excellent job and you bring such a valuable perspective to our practice but i don’t have the ability to give you a raise right now but don’t worry bc i just hired a new CFO to try to figure out money so we can maybe give you a raise later this year: *breaks into a cold sweat as i crack open indeed dot com*
#like how have you hired FOUR new employees in the past year (two new providers a new admin assistant and now a CFO)#without having plans for people to level up?#also i have talked to a friend who got hired at a similar practice a few months after me and she’s already making way more than me!#and you know who else makes more than i do?#my 19yo nephew who didn’t even finish high school. to be fair he’s grinding way more than he should#but also so am i!!#my disabled ass is working 6-7 days/week almost every week and i can barely afford to LIVE in the city where i live!!!#anyway don’t mind me i’m only apartment hunting#while also knowing that my paycheck is about to be hundreds of dollars lighter every month bc my health insurance is about to kick in#right now it’s either looking like we are gonna have to live in the world’s shittiest apartment (not even in the nice part of the city) or#we might just have to find something outside the city. which would be farther from work and friends and everything#yes i am having a full mental breakdown every single day and it’s only gonna get worse bc i’m due to start pmsing any second now#and also my last day at my hospital job is this weekend#bc everyone (including my boss) has encouraged me to quit and focus on only the one job#so now that’s also at least a few hundred bucks more i won’t be making every month#godddddddd#i hate it here i hate it here#did you know? having a fulfilling job still sucks if you aren't fairly compensated???#this is also what happens when you are part of a hot girl profession where everyone else is married to husbands with tech jobs#so they don't have to worry about money like this#anyway anyway anyway#i have never had anxiety so high that i feel as if i might puke before and i used to have a panic disorder so this is a fun new experience#a nice cherry on top of the typical summer depression which is also beating my ass yet again!
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I’m trying to be normal about Slayer in Strive I am guys I am. But I will not be normal about BOB IN TEKKEN 8 GUYS IF THAT EVER HAPPENS
#Me trying to be normal I am I’m trying so hard#I want to play Tekken 7 now I’ll probably just play 6 because that makes people who don’t like Bob mad :3
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Who wants buck angst?
Imagine if buck discovers that after the lightening strike he is infertile
And yes I just thought of something angsty so I had to Google and fact check my scenario to see if it’s actually possible and i found an article about a man who fathered a son after being told he would be infertile due to being struck by lightening and in the article it even mentions a fertility specialist who says that there has been low evidence of lightening strike victims being able to have children afterwards
#I’m not a doctor I don’t even play one on tv but I am an angsty bitch and that gives me license to make this scenario a thing™️#that being said sorry to any doctors who follow me 🫡#no but like imagine the gut punch that would be#like the only kid he would be able to biologically father is the kid he helped give his friend who was infertile#then cue the emotional buddie scene where Eddie tells him he already has a kid#I’m very invested in buck having a breakdown arc in season 7#I mean if someone happened to write this I wouldn’t be opposed 👀#cough cough hint hint#evan buck buckley#911 fox#911onfox#911 abc#evan buckley#911#buddie#eddie diaz#tryna organise my blog#my posts
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i genuinely need to be put down like a dog i cant do this anymore man holy shit
#yall dont know the meaning of terminally online til u meet me#i hate myself so much its not even funny i am the most miserable worthless scum#my sleep schedule is 7am to 3pm all i do all day is rot on the couch and sometimes draw if i have a drop of motivation#depression is completely kicking my ass and im not even fighting back i give up what the fuck man#theres not even a point for me to keep trying i just want to stop feeling such deep despair 24/7 please#i dont want to die i just want the pain to stop so i can peacefullylive out the rest of this year before i turn 18 and its all over for good#but i cant even have that! im just gonna suffer the whole time thanks great#i wish i could just get better and fix all of this but i cant its not working we dont have the money to#actually get me the help i need to make it work. i just have to figure it out or die#i just wanna go back to ***** ** *** i just want to stop being lonely and useless#i dont know why im posting this shit to tumblr. its so stupid i should just be journaling or something#probably because im worthless selfish scum. idfk.#the last 6 months have been a complete blur. just rotting on the couch or in bed occasionally seeing friends once every other month or so#ive already wasted half of being 17 abd im probably gonna waste the rest too. ill do nothing of worth before i die.#even my art is ugly and horrible and not worth leaving behind. people tell me to work to improve it but i dont have the time left#ill never create any of the things i wanted to create ill never be a good artist im just going to die exactly like this#an absolutely terrible person.#the only people i can talk about the things that make me a terrible person with are people who are terrible in even worse ways#no one can comfort me except them because theyre the only people who know what ive done and actually do see it as less than absolute evil#because they know absolute evil because it is them. but i actually don’t believe that i think theyre bad but could be good#idk what im saying anymore#someone shoot me#please im not kidding#just make it stop#tw vent#tw sui#delete later
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