#I haven’t felt ‘at home’ since before uni

[leviiackrman]

I am fighting for my life to be mentally stable and it’s not working

[haisuken]

long day 👍🏽

[thecuriousbeauty]

Arguments and Cuddles-Harry Styles x reader

A/N:- Wanted to write this a few days ago, but I just couldn't get myself to write after all that has happened. Sending lots of hugs to everyone. Hope this acts a distraction to anyone who needs it right now.

Synopsis: Harry doesn't realize that you're sick when he starts an argument and takes care of you after. Some angst and fluff!

Word Count: 2k

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“y/n..” Your tall, lanky boyfriend makes grabby hands at you from the bed, snug and comfortable under the blanket. He didn’t want to fall asleep without you. You felt bad for making him wait, you really did, but you couldn’t go to bed without finishing your assignment. University has been stressing you out these days, what with two projects every week, along with other papers, studying and you even have to start filling out internship forms. 

“Five more minutes, baby, I’m so sorry..”, you turn back from the desk to tell Harry who was pouting at you, hoping to win you over with cuteness, which he already has. 

“It’s okay, love. I don’t mind waiting but it’s you I’m worried about. If you’re not here in my arms sleeping in the next ten minutes, no kisses for you tomorrow.”, he threatens, and smirks when you gasp. “That’s unfair!”

“You better hurry up then.”, Harry says, picking up his phone and settling back with his head on the pillow. It took you exactly seven more minutes to complete the assignment. 

“I’m done! You can’t deny me kisses now.” You keep your laptop away before falling into Harry’s open arms. You sigh as your head hits the soft pillow, and you realize just how exhausted you are when you feel your heavy eyelids. 

“I don’t think I ever can.”, Harry hums, chuckling as you snuggle into his chest like a little kitten seeking comfort. His arms hold you snug to his chest as his face lowers to press soft kisses to your hair and your cheeks. “I missed you.”

You know he didn’t just mean today. It’s been almost two weeks since you’ve been in this hectic schedule and you haven’t been able to see Harry as often. You’re either too tired or have lots of work to do after you get home from uni, so you haven’t been spending much time with your boyfriend. 

You bring a hand up to cup his cheek, your thumb stroking over his soft skin. “I’m sorry, babe. I miss you too. I  just have so much to do and-”, you sigh.

“-Hey, I understand love, know you’re working hard.”, he rubs circles onto your lower back and you almost moan at how good it feels. “I’m just worried about you. You barely sleep, barely eat during the day, step out of the house only to go to uni…”

“I do eat and sleep.”, you tell him, pecking his pink lips. “It’s gonna be hectic only for another week, the projects should be over by then.”

He hummed. “Would you be free tomorrow night? It’s Friday. Mitch and Sarah have been wanting to meet you.”

Mitch and Sarah were two of his best friends, and you’ve wanted to meet them too. Like he said, it was Friday, so you’d have time to catch up on your studies on Saturday and Sunday. Harry was just asking you, but you could see he really wanted you to go. You haven’t had a night out in a while too, so you agree. 

“Okay, I’ll meet them.”

Harry cheers, making you giggle and kiss his cheek. “They’re so excited to meet you! I love you.”

________________________________________________

You weren’t expecting to fall sick when you got up that morning. You did feel a little less energetic, but that was normal by now, so you brushed it off. You attended your classes, and when it was around lunch time, your throat was parched even though you kept sipping on water and your eyes were getting watery. 

You didn’t feel like eating, so you skipped lunch, which led to a headache and you were just feeling horrible when you got back home that day. You were relieved to be back, and you fell into bed immediately, not bothering to change. God, you hated being sick. It makes you so weak and you can’t get anything done. You take a small nap, hoping to wake up feeling better. 

You had kept an alarm to wake up an hour and a half before the time Harry said he would come to pick you up for the night out, but you slept right through it. You didn’t wake up even when Harry stepped into your flat, using your other pair of keys and called out your name. 

He was ten minutes late himself, and he was surprised to see that you weren’t ready yet. 

“y/n?”, he says. “Babe why aren’t you ready, we should be there in twenty minutes!”

You rub your eyes, slowly coming out of sleep. “Oh…shit.”, you remember when you see Harry already standing in front of you. “I s-slept through the alarm.”

“It’s fine, I’ll tell them we’ll be a bit late. You should get ready.”, Harry said, already pulling out his phone. 

You sit up, groaning as your muscles ache. Your head was throbbing, and you felt like your body was on your fire. You knew you wouldn’t make it through the night even if you tried.

“Harry? I think you should go alone, I’ll meet them some other time..”, you say softly. 

Harry bites his lip. “Seriously? You’re telling me now? I asked you last night, y/n!”

“I know I’m sorry, I just-”

“-I try to be understanding but it’s not gonna work if I’m the only one putting in effort, y/n. I didn’t tell you anything, I didn’t complain about you not spending time with me, I just asked if you could go out with me for one night and you can’t.”, Harry scoffs, walking back and forth. 

Your eyes well up with tears from your sickness, and Harry’s words. You get up, even though you felt like you would crumble like a sack of potatoes if you did. 

“Harry, I’m sorry, I don’t-”

“-No. I don’t want to hear it, y/n. I talk to them about you all the time and they were so excited to meet you, you know? Now you want to cancel. I don’t get it, what’s going to happen if you go out for one night?” He stops to look at you.

That’s when your head spins. You feel like the whole world is turning upside down and you reach a hand out to grip something, but you only found air. 

Harry was fuming, but he only then noticed that you weren’t looking too good. Your skin was pale and prickly with sweat, you were unsteady on your feet and your voice was breaking as you whimpered his name for help, “H-Harry.”

“Fuck.”, he cursed, and rushed to you, strong arms holding you before your knees gave out. You grip his sleeve as he makes you sit back down on the bed. “y/n? Baby, are you okay?”

You manage a weak hum in response. Harry’s hand cups your forehead, pressing your head back against his arm. “Jesus, you’re burning up. Why didn’t you tell me you’re sick?”

If you had the energy, you could have punched him. “Y-You didn’t give me the chance.”

“I’m an asshole.”, Harry muttered, green eyes washing over you with worry as he settles you back into bed. 

“You are.”, you agree, shivering as his cold fingers brush against your forehead, stroking back some of your hair. “I really wanted to go out too, you know. I should’ve let you know earlier that I was sick but I thought I could pull through..” You winced, bringing a hand up to your head. You always get bad headaches when you’re sick.

“Shh..did you take any medicine? Should I take you to the doctor?”, Harry asks, pressing a soft kiss to your temple. 

“No..think I’ll be fine, just gonna sleep. You should go.”, you said softly. 

“Leaving you like this alone? No. I’m gonna take care of you. I’ll call Mitch and let him know we can’t make it. We’ll do it some other time.” 

“I really am sorry. I-I was just trying to finish everything during the week so I could spend the weekend with you. Didn’t mean to make you upset, Harry.”, you whisper, and Harry shakes his head, stroking away a small tear that runs down your cheek with your thumb. 

“Don’t apologize, love, you did nothing wrong. I shouldn’t have snapped at you like that. You’re working hard to get where you want to be, and I’ll always support you. I should’ve realized you’re gonna get yourself sick.” He tsked, taking your hand and kissing your fingertips. “Do you forgive me?”

You smiled and nodded, leaning into his side as he wrapped an arm around you. “My poor baby. Are you sure you’re okay? Not dizzy right?”

“Yeah, I’m not dizzy anymore, think I just got up too fast.”, you mumble into his shoulder.

“I’ll get you some medicine and make you some soup. Then we’ll cuddle in bed for the rest of the night.”, Harry says, pressing a kiss to your forehead. “Tomorrow, when you’re feeling a bit better, we’re gonna make a proper schedule together, okay? I can’t have you feeling so stressed out and falling ill again.”

“Okay.”, you smile. Harry got out of bed and tucked the blanket over you. You curled up and closed your eyes. “Come back soon..”

“Promise I will.”

He found you some medicine and made you take it, then brought a cold cloth to your forehead. You flinched at the cold, and he hushed you softly, “Shh, relax sweetheart, we’ve gotta get your temperature down.” He lays the cloth across your forehead. “Feels good, doesn’t it?” 

After the initial cold, it did feel relaxing. You sigh and hum in agreement. You were getting drowsy again. Harry smiles and kisses your nose. “I’ll be back with your soup by the time you take a little nap.”

Harry wakes you up with a bowl of steaming hot soup after some time, and he helps you sit up, placing pillows behind your back. He slides into bed next to you, holding the tray that had the bowl of soup. 

He blows on a spoonful before bringing it to your lips, other hand cupping under your chin to catch any excess that dribbles down. “I tried my best, it’s my mum’s recipe.”, he says, eyes hopeful as you swallow it down.

The hot liquid was soothing for your sore throat, and the flavors were actually very nice. He raises his eyebrows in question. 

“It’s really good, thank you.”, you smile, pinching his cheek gently. A grin takes over his face as he brings up another spoon. “I can eat by myself, you know.”

“I want to feed you.”

Harry feeds you the rest of the soup while he talks to you,  then goes back to the kitchen to clear everything before falling in bed with you. 

“Did you eat?”, you ask, placing your head on his chest and looking up at him. 

“I did, sweet girl. While making your soup.”, he says, pressing a kiss to your hair, his fingers starting to massage your scalp. He chuckles when you let out a soft groan. 

“How’s your head now? Are you feeling a little better?”, he checks, his other hand running up and down your back. 

“Uh huh, think your soup’s got the magic.”, you whisper, eyes already starting to flutter close. Harry laughs, nudging his nose against your cheek. “I put some magic in it, it’s called love.”

“Oh?”

“Mhm, and it’s special, only for you.”, he says, pressing feather soft kisses against the side of your face. “Gonna nurse my girl back to health in no time.”

“I love you.”, you say, your hand tucking under his side as he pulls you closer. “Thank you for taking care of me.”

“No need to thank me, gonna do it for the rest of my life.”, he promises, pressing a kiss to your lips. “I love you so much, y/n.”

You gasped. “What?”, he asks, worrying if you were going to throw up or something.

“You kissed me, idiot! Now you’re gonna get sick too.”

Harry laughs, taking your chin and giving you another kiss, making you slap his chest, playfully. “I’m big and strong, I don’t get sick.”

“Sure. I remember how you were being a big whiny baby last month when you had the flu.”

“Hush.”, he chuckles as you giggle, touching his forehead to yours. “Go to sleep, my giggly girl.”

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Taglist: -@livypops12352568 @harrydeary, @harryswifee, @harrysbxtchh, @gracelovesethan, @kiwitsayedsugar, @angeldavis777,@madstyles3204, @youngpastafanmug, @fruity-harry, @wannaliveinparadise

[milla-frenchy]

A summer with the Millers

4k2 | Joel Miller x fem reader x Tommy Miller | ao3 | Masterlist | series masterlist Summary: you come back to your father's house for summer vacation and want to get closer to your crush (your dad's best friend) and his brother Warnings: 18+ mdni. dubcon (alcohol), mfm, age gap (reader is 21, Tommy and Joel are in their late 30s, early 40s), virgin reader, eager reader, dirty talk, degradation, masturbation, oral (m/f), ball sucking

a/n: dividers @saradika-graphics 🙏❤️ @aurorawritestoescape thank you for beta-ing, love you 💕🫶

It was the beginning of summer, and you were coming back to Austin for vacation. Now you lived in the north of the country for your studies, not too far from your mother, since your parents had divorced several years ago. You hadn't been back in Texas since last summer, and you were delighted to see your father. You couldn't wait to enjoy the heat and the pool. You were about to spend several weeks here, and you had been looking forward to the holidays so much that you almost twirled around as you headed towards the airport parking lot to meet your father.

Your phone buzzed, and you saw the text message.

“Sorry, sweetie, I had a setback at work, I'm really sorry. Tommy is coming to pick you up from the airport. I'll see you home very soon. See you tonight, I can’t wait!"

You were a little disappointed not to see your father right away, but Tommy? He was your dad’s best friend, and you had known him for a long time. You’d had a big crush on him for a couple years, and your disappointment quickly gave way to a slight tightening in your heart.

You reached the parking lot where Tommy was already waiting for you, leaning against his car, smoking a cigarette. He threw it away as soon as he saw you and gave you a big smile before taking you in his arms.

“Hey, darlin’! It’s been so long since I’ve seen you!”

You pulled away from each other, and you weren't sure if your brain was playing tricks, but you felt like you caught his gaze quickly checking out your body.

“Damn, look at you all grown up!”

You smiled at his warm welcome, and your grin reached your ears when he opened the passenger door as a perfect gentleman to let you settle in. When he got behind the wheel and started off, that time you were sure, his eyes lingered for a second or two on your bare legs, which your short skirt barely covered. You smiled. It was going to be a good summer, you were sure of it.

The radio was playing a cool 70s rock song, and you leaned your head against the headrest.

“How old are you now, darlin’? I feel like I haven’t seen you in forever.”

"I'm 21. And it hasn’t been that long, I was here last summer,” you replied, laughing.

“Wow, really? Well… you seem like a whole different person now. How are your studies going?”

"Alright! I love studying classic literature. I feel good at my uni but I’m happy to be back in Texas.”

“I bet you do! How’s your mother?”

“She’s fine too. She has a new boyfriend. Well, it's been almost a year now.”

“Alright. I hope he’s not a pain in the ass to ya?”

“No, he’s ok”, you replied.

The trip continued with a really smooth conversation between the two of you. A few times, your eyes dared to linger on his hands placed on the steering wheel. His veins were prominent and his forearms muscular, and you couldn't help but wonder what his hands would feel like on you. “They’d make a perfect collar around my neck…” you giggled softly at the thought. Apparently your crush was stronger than ever. And you were hornier than ever.

You realized Tommy was talking to you and you hadn’t paid attention.

“Mmm, excuse me?” you asked.

“What was your pretty head thinking about?” he asked, looking at you a little longer than usual.

“Oh, nothing special…I’m just glad to be back.”

“I’m glad too, darlin’.” He checked out your legs when you were looking out of the window and couldn't catch him staring, before pulling into your father's driveway and wishing you a good afternoon.

You watched his car back out of the driveway, then he parked in front of his house. The house next to your dad’s. You waved Tommy goodbye when he looked at you before entering his house. You definitely didn't regret that he came to get you instead of your father.

The sun was flooding the dining room. Photos of you and your father adorned the walls. You missed him terribly every year. You called each other often, but of course it wasn't the same as seeing him every day. Like before.

Your bedroom was as you had left it. Everything in its place, every book, every photo, every memory. You lay down on your bed and stroked the soft blanket with your fingertips. For a few moments, your childhood memories came back to you. A bittersweet melancholy of a bygone time.

Quickly you thought about Tommy, and how he had checked you out in the car. It hadn’t been that long since you’d seen each other, but he seemed to like you. Differently. At least you hoped so, and you would soon check if that was indeed the case. As usual, he would often come over to your dad’s house to watch a football game, have a beer, or enjoy the pool. On Sunday, there would be the usual early summer barbecue. You couldn't wait to go through your closet and pick a dress that would make him salivate.

But first you needed to get off. Your fingers slid down your body. Running them from your neck, where you imagined Tommy’s fingers lightly gripping your skin. The warmth of his hand on you. You went down to the hollow between your breasts, brushing them very lightly, before grabbing one of them and twitching the nipple between your fingers until you felt it harden. Your other hand traveled from your navel to your skirt. You brushed against the elastic, then the fabric, until you reached the hem. Pulling your skirt up to your waist, then brushing against your sensitive folds under your panties. For a few minutes, you played with your pleasure. Brushing against your swollen clit with feather light touches. Until impatience gripped you, and you finally slip your hand into your panties. Imagining Tommy’s feverish fingers working their way to reach your soaking pussy. You ran your digits along your soaked folds to wet them, and moved up to your twitching clit, already sensitive. You moaned, softly whispering “Tommy.” Your index finger gently swirled over your little bud of nerves, applying the perfect pressure to make your orgasm build. Your other hand squeezed your breast, and you arched your back as your gasps filled the room. But you needed more. Needed to feel something in your core. Your hand left your breast and slipped into your panties, pushing your middle finger between your folds. Just in time for your pussy to clench on it, a wave hit your trembling body. Imagining Tommy inside you, his face above yours, balls deep in your cunt. His name escaped your lips one last time, with final twitches of your walls against your finger. All you could think about was Tommy, and the sensations he would give you. Sensations you could only imagine, because you were still a virgin.

Your father came back home early in the evening, and you had dinner together, chatted and laughed. You two always had a great relationship. When your parents had divorced, you all had agreed that you would live with your mother, since your father had often been away for work. But you missed him a lot, and summers with him were definitely your favorite time of the year.

Tommy came by your house a few times in the days that followed. But not once did you see his gaze on you like it had happened in his car on the way back from the airport. You were disappointed, but since your father was home every time he visited, you figured that maybe Tommy didn't want to risk something in his presence.

The barbecue day arrived, finally. You had chosen a short summer dress with white and yellow pattern, thin straps, no bra underneath. Black lace panties completed the ensemble.

You were impatiently waiting for Tommy to arrive, and you knew he would be among the first guests. You were busy setting the table when you heard your name. Tommy was approaching you and he wasn't alone. Joel, his brother, was with him. He was slightly older than Tommy, and you hadn't seen him in several years. You didn't remember him being so hot and you lost your breath when you saw him. They hugged you, and If Tommy kept a friendly attitude, Joel looked at you from head to toe and smirked, while your dad was busy with the other guests. Arousal instantly burned you from the inside out.

So you decided to go a little further. You seeped your beer while staring and smiling at Tommy or Joel, played with a lollipop redder than your lips while looking at them, or talking to them. You saw Joel readjust himself twice, and Tommy looked away a few times. But his bulge left no doubt about the effect your little game had on him.

The last guests were leaving, and you wished everyone a good evening. Saving your warmest, playful smile for the Millers. Your father had drunk a little too much, and told you he was going to bed. You walked him to his bedroom, helped him take off his shoes, and covered him with his blanket. Then you went into the garden and sat in one of the deckchairs, a beer in hand. You had drunk more than usual but you felt good, a little dizzy but not too much, and you wanted to end the evening like that, looking at the stars.

“You haven’t gone to bed, darlin’?”, you heard from the aisle. Tommy and Joel were heading back towards you.

“No, not yet, I’m still enjoying the evening,” you added, raising your beer bottle at them. “Did you forget something?”

“Yeah, my phone. There it is,” Tommy added.

���Wanna join me for another beer?”

“Yeah, sure”, said Joel. They took beers from the cooler, then brought two deck chairs closer to yours. Conversation was easy with them. Both were quite talkative.

As for you, you laughed even more than usual, thanks to the beers you had drunk. The effect of the alcohol seemed much less stronger on Tommy and Joel.

“It’s getting late, I'm gonna put away the leftovers”, you said, getting up.

“Let us help you, sweetheart,” offered Joel.

You took the salad bowls and went down to the basement to put them in the fridge. You found yourself really close to Joel as you walked through the door, and he clung to you wholeheartedly. 

“So, baby... what was that little game all evening?”

“You liked it?” you asked, shamelessly.

“Oh, sweetheart, are you sure you know what you’re gettin’ into?”

“What are you doin’, Joel?” asked Tommy.

“Just what she wants. Come on, she’s been hitting on us all day.”

“Her father’s here, Joel. He’s… He’s my best friend.”

“Drank way too much. We heard him snoring from the dining room. And she can fuck whoever she wants, it’s not her father’s problem. She’s 21.”

“I… I don’t know man.. I’ve known her since… forever.”

"Jesus. She's an adult. You wanna have fun, baby?”

“Yes! Yes, please. Come on, Tommy, I wanna play with you too”, you added, flirting openly.

Tommy's remorse quickly dissipated, you weren’t sure if you had to thank the beers for that or not. The two brothers' bodies pressed against yours two seconds later. Tommy's lips sought yours, while Joel's covered your neck with kisses. The four hands caressed your waist and breasts, and you felt their hard cocks pushing against you. Virility and masculinity emanated from them. Strength, too. They were men, not boys or young men, and had a totally different energy than the guys you had dated so far. And even though your desire for the two brothers was soaking your panties, you started to fear that maybe you wouldn’t be able to manage what was going to happen next.

“Wait, wait”, you breathed out suddenly, while your hands were lost in Tommy’s wavy hair. They pulled away from you slightly at the same time, respecting your uncertainty.

“What is it, darlin’?” Tommy asked you gently.

“I… uh. Fuck.” You looked at him with a mixture of different emotions in the eyes. Joel stood in front of you, side by side with his brother.

“I…damn. I’m a virgin”, you finally confessed, looking down at the ground.

“What the…” Joel said with raised eyebrows, pulling away from you and taking a few steps into the basement, hands on hips.

“Well… I played with dildos but… not real dicks.”

“Christ, darlin’ we can't… We can’t do that” said Tommy, shaking his head.

“You’re a virgin? How is it even possible? I mean… You’re screaming for our cocks and you never took one?” added Joel.

“I just… I dated guys but they were jerks. I never wanted to fuck one of them. Plus…”

“Plus what?” asked Joel.

Alcohol gave you some courage, or unconsciousness, and you murmured “I couldn’t get Tommy out of my head.”

“No shit”, chuckled Joel, “my little bro is a crush of his best friend's daughter…”

“Shut up, Joel. Darlin’, what are you talking-”

“Oh come on, Tommy. You saw how I looked at you. And I saw how you looked at me. I’m an adult. And… you’re hot. Both of you. We can have fun, right? I guess you don't fuck virgins every day. I just need you to go slow."

“No. No way. We can’t do that. Not here, not now… we can’t do that Joel. It was one thing to fuck her. But having her first time with us here? With her father upstairs? No way.”

“Alright, alright. What if… We’d do other things?”

“What things?”

“Using our hands and mouths. We could play with her mouth too.”

“I don’t fuckin’ know, man. And she drank too much to think clearly”, said Tommy.

“She wasn’t drunk when she was teasing us as soon as we arrived. You want this, baby?” Joel asked, looking at you.

“Yes”, you answered firmly.

“Both of us?”

“Yes.”

Joel moved closer to you, took off your dress, and whistled before looking at his brother.

“We have fun. But we don’t fuck her. Not with our cocks, at least.”

“That’s twisted, Joel”, Tommy murmured, but without being able to take his eyes off your body.

“That’s hot as fuck.”

“Fuck… Ok. Ok...”

A few seconds later, you found yourself on the couch in that basement with Tommy’s shoulders between your thighs.

“Your panties’re soaked, baby, jesus…” he said.

“Told you I wanted it…” you flirted.

“Fuck”, he said, caressing your folds through the fabric, before removing them and spreading your thighs slightly to reveal your pussy. “Damn, look at that, Joel…”

Joel moved closer and Tommy spread you further, so his brother had a perfect view of your bare, dripping pussy.

“What a juicy cunt… Already all swollen up. Can’t wait to taste it. But you go first, man.”

“Yeah”, Tommy breathed out just before he licked a long stripe from your folds to your clit. 

You were already moaning at this new sensation. So different from the one you felt when you were making yourself come with your fingers, or even a sex toy. Tommy's tongue ran through your folds, his mustache and beard tickled your fine skin. Then danced at your core, and swirled over your clit, and you didn't know whether to hold on to his hair or his shoulders. Sometimes you would open your eyes and watch Joel, staring where his brother was eating you out, his hand squeezing his crotch to relieve the tension. Tommy pushed one finger in your cunt, and you stared at Joel as you came on Tommy’s finger, his tongue resting on your clit.

“Fuck, that’s hot baby, seeing you all spread like that for my brother…”

Tommy was so pussy drunk from being the first one to lick you that he almost came in his boxers when you clenched on his finger and moaned. He pulled away and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, and you felt slightly embarrassed seeing how his mustache and beard glistened from your wetness. Then he got up and slowly pulled his cock out of his pants, and you saw the red, dripping tip of his thick length.

“You wanna suck my cock, darlin’?”

You nodded enthusiastically, but Joel firmly told you “words, baby.”

“Yes. Yes, I wanna suck your cock, Tommy.”

“You’ve never sucked a cock before either?” Joel asked as he in turn knelt between your thighs.

“No… uh Joel? Are you gonna…?”

“Eat ya? Yeah. Fuck yeah. Ya want it?”

“Yeah…Yeah, I want it.”

“You got it, then.”

He spat on your cunt and you gasped, then he spread it with his thumb, careful not to overstimulate you. 

“How many times did you get off thinking about my brother, baby?” he asked before licking your soaking pussy.

“A… a lot”, you whimpered, your hands tightening his curls, as you spread your legs as wide as possible to give him full access.

“Yeah, you got off, thinking of my brother’s tongue in your cunt? His fingers? His cock?”

“Yeah”, you breathed out.

“Damn, little brother. What a good little toy we got here...”

The way he was talking about you made you moan, and he buried his tongue between your folds. 

Thinking that his brother was eating your pussy a few minutes before was turning you on like never before. 

Thinking that the first time someone went down on you, he did it in front of his brother, before he took his place. And you were already wondering if you could convince Tommy to make them take your virginity, and if Joel would lie down between your thighs after his brother. Filling you both with their cum. The thought, coupled with Joel's tongue, made you cum a second time so quickly that you didn’t feel it coming.

“She’s so sensitive…I wonder how many times we’re gonna make her cum, Tommy.”

Tommy was lazily jerking off while watching his brother eat you out. When your shaking stopped, his eyes darkened and he said “sit down, sweetheart. Will be easier to blow me.”

You obeyed, blushing slightly under their gaze on your bare body, but eager to taste his thick cock. 

You had watched tons of porn and knew how to do it. But you wanted to hear Tommy tell you what to do, to be in charge. You let him grab your chin between his fingers, and lift it towards him. Applying a light pressure to it.

“Open up for me, darlin’.”

You parted your lips, and he bent over, dropping his saliva in your mouth, which you swallowed right away.

“Gonna be sloppy for me?”

You nodded, eyes fixed on him.

“Stick out your tongue and lick my slit, baby. Wanna see your pretty throat swallow what I’m givin’ you.”

You darted your tongue out and twirled it around his tip, then swallowed his precum. Tasting it for the first time. He held his cock tightly in his hand while the other was holding the back of your head as he pushed his tip between your lips.

Joel had just finished another beer and was watching you suck his brother while palming his crotch.

“How is she?”, he asked.

“Good. Fuckin’ good. A little shy and unsure. It's fuckin’ hot.”

“Can you imagine, her first time playing naughty for real, she wants not one, but two cocks? What kinda slut does that?”

If Joel thought he was embarrassing you by talking about you like that, he was wrong. You pulled back and your eyes fixed on his brother, as you asked feigning shy tone “you like being sucked by your best friend’s daughter, Tommy?” Batting your long eyelashes at him, making Joel chuckle “well, damn…”

“Fuck… You’re a naughty thing, darlin’, aren’t ya? Naughty things like you don’t keep their mouths empty. Keep suckin’.”

You smiled and took him back in your mouth, applying yourself, attentive to his moans and sucking him according to his sensitivity.

Joel opened two beers and offered one to his brother who took sips regularly, his other hand resting on the back of your head while fucking your mouth and throat. Joel sat on the couch next to you, and took out his cock, wanking slowly while drinking his beer too.

“I think my brother needs some relief, baby. Be a good girl and lie down.”

Once laid down, Joel spread your thighs indecently, exposing your soaking wet pussy.

“Gonna let me play with that little cunt, sweetheart?”

You nodded, just before Tommy slipped his cock back in your mouth. Drinking his beer at the same time. Being used like this was turning you on more and more. Both of them still had their clothes on, and you found it so hot. Making you feel even more used. 

“Imagine how tight she must be. How she’d squeeze our cocks, if we fucked her like she begs to be. One day, don’t freak out little brother.”

“I know, fuck, stop talking about that or I’m gonna nut.”

Joel smirked and spread your glistening folds with his thumbs and you felt your wetness flowing down to your asshole. He spat on your cunt and you moaned.

“She just loves that,” Tommy smirked, thrusting deeper in your throat.

Joel hummed, and brushed his beer bottle between your folds, and you tensed noticeably.

“Come on, Joel, don’t be a jerk.”

Joel chuckled again, and said “you know I won’t do that. I’m not gonna split her open with a bottle. At least not for her first time. Just wanted to spice up my beer.” 

He took a sip of his beer, covered with your wetness.

“Way better, now.”

“Fuck”, said Tommy, watching him.

Joel rubbed his shaft along your folds, making you moan, mouth full of Tommy’s cock. Feeling his cock against your pussy was an overwhelming sensation. So different from feeling a cold dildo. Your hips rolled against Joel’s shaft and he growled.

“Don’t fuck her, Joel”, Tommy warned. 

“Yeah. I know. Fuck, I know, I know. Her cunt is trying to swallow me, man, you see that?”

“Yeah… Our little whore. When did you become such a cockslut, baby? Your father raised you as a good, proper girl, and look at you playing with our fat cocks…not that I'm complaining, takin’ such good care of us, damn.”

Joel’s precum was mixing with your wetness and he rubbed his tip against your clit.

“ ‘m gonna come soon… gonna shoot my load on that pretty pussy, cover her in white, fuck…”

“Suck my balls, baby… gonna come soon too.”

Tommy grabbed his big balls and let them cover your mouth and chin as he started to jerk off. You licked, sucked his balls eagerly, like you've seen dozens of times in porns.

“Look at that Joel, holy shit. Better than your lollipop, uh darlin’?”

“See brother, who gives a shit she’s your best friend's daughter? We could rail her all summer, ruin her pretty holes every fucking day. Teach her how to be a perfect fuck.”

Their dirty talk, the way they were talking about you as if you weren’t even here, made you melt and despite your sore jaw, you couldn’t stop licking Tommy’s balls, still jerking off.

“Fuck, darlin’, yeah just like that. Keep suckin’ my balls. Oh god. Fuck!”

His cum spurted out, white pearls falling onto your hair and face as his hand held your mouth pressed against his balls.

You heard Joel growl and he grabbed your hand, holding it against his shaft sliding along your folds, until he came too, his cum covering your pussy and fingers. His jerks against your clit made you cum one last time, your pussy desperately empty, and you only wished to squeeze their shafts soon enough.

“Jesus… you dried our balls so good, baby.”

They tucked their cocks into their jeans, looking at you still lying on the couch covered in their cum, breathing heavily. Tommy brought you a towel and they helped you up.

“You liked it baby? You liked being a good slut for us?

“Never felt better, actually”, you smiled.

The next morning when you came down for breakfast, your father had already made you coffee and toasts.

“Did you have a good evening, sweetie? I think I passed out… Did you help me in to my bedroom? I can’t remember a thing, I'm sorry sweetie.”

“I did, don’t worry ‘bout that, dad, it’s totally ok!”

“I wasn't a very good host or proper father last night. Wasn't it too much work to put everything back together?”

“No, don’t worry. Tommy and Joel helped me.”

“Oh great. I’m glad they helped you, can’t say I’m surprised they did. They’re good Texans, with proper manners.”

“They really are”, you smiled warmly.

That evening, you knocked on Tommy's door. Joel's figure appeared behind him when he opened it.

“I want more,” you murmured.

Part 2

***********

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[duhnova]

Cry-Baby | Choi Seungcheol

synopsis. decked out in leather and riding a harley davidson like he’s got business with the devil, choi seungcheol was the talk of your small town. everyone looked down on him and when you come home for the first time since starting uni you find it hard to believe that the pouty lipped kid you tossed off the merry-go-round when you were six was some slick haired delinquent. 

pairing. biker!choi seungcheol x fem!reader 

word count: 4.9k

genre. fluff, angst, opposites attract, drama?, kind of college au

warning(s): mentions of parent death, mentions of parent illness, alcohol, let me know if i forgot anything!

this is apart of a 90's collab! you should check out everyone elses fics! - there might be a smutty & more angsty part 2 to this if there’s enough interest! also huge shoutout to @onlyhuis and @onlymingyus for proofreading for me, ily guys <3

When you left for university three years ago you never wanted to return home, the small town always made you feel claustrophobic. But now you’re sitting on a train, about an hour away from your childhood, the sony walkman you got as a graduation present from high school sat in your lap as you listened to the same nirvana cassette on repeat. 

The nerves of being home began to get to you as the familiar views of the old trailer park that sat outside your town came into view. An old pickup truck that adorns the same white and blue paint of your best friend's truck drives down the road that travels along the train tracks and it makes you wonder if it’s him coming to meet you at the station.  

“We’ll be arriving at the station within the next five minutes.” The worker smiled at you as she continued down the aisle of seats to tell the other patrons of the cart that the train will be stopping for a couple minutes at your stop before embarking to the next station. 

You put your walkman in your pocket so that you aren’t scrambling to gather your things when the train stops. Just as you got your backpack situated the train jolted a little as its breaks screech to a stop. 

“Ladies and gentlemen we have reached our next stop.” The worker's voice is drowned out by your music as you stand up and grab your suitcase before hopping out the door with the worker's help in lifting your bag down. 

“Thank you!” You call out and wave as the door closes and the train takes off again, no one else got on or off. 

“Y/N!” You hear a familiar voice call from behind you, the roar of a diesel engine brings a certain comfort to you that you haven’t felt since you left. 

“Gyu!” You call out with a smile on your face, the change in his appearance being more shocking in person than you thought it would be, having only seen him in pictures he sent from the crappy disposable cameras he and his friends like to use. All the work he’s been doing on his family's ranch has paid off as his muscles glisten with dirt and sweat. 

“I’ve missed you cherry pop.” He hugs you tightly as you laugh at the nickname he gave you years ago because you always had cherry lollipops on you. 

“I’ve.. missed you too.” You choke between laughs and the way he was squeezing you a little too tightly. 

“Sorry,” He laughs as he lets you go to grab your suitcase instead. “Are you hungry? It was a long travel day for you.” 

“I could eat.” You smile as you take your headphones off to let them rest around your neck as you follow your best friend to his truck that was still running and emitting a gross smell of diesel. 

“Great, let’s go to pops diner.” He lifts your suitcase over the side of the truck bed like it was nothing before he opens the door for you to get in. The leather of his seats were warm from his heater that left the cabin toasty unlike the train car you had been sitting in almost all day. 

“How are you?” You ask about the owner of the diner who was well into his 70’s at this point, his restaurant having been open for almost five decades at this point.

“He’s doing good, got his hip replaced last summer,” Mingyu shifts the car into drive after he reversed out of the spot he parked at. “Still kickin, Cheols mom still works there too.” The mention of your old childhood playmate makes you smile bittersweetly. The last time you two had talked was before you left for college and he seemed angry about everything in life and he took it out on you leaving a sour taste in your mouth and the lack of communication between the two of you over the past few years.  

“That’s nice, how is she doing? I remember last you told me she was in the hospital for something.” Mingyu sighs a little from beside you.

“Yeah she was, took me forever to get anything out of Cheol about it but she’s doing good now. Or so I’ve been told.” Seungcheol had always been hard headed and he’d rather talk about other people's problems than his own so it didn’t surprise you that Mingyu had to dig for some type of answer from him. 

“Is she working today? I’d love to see her…” Your voice trailed off as you thought about the lady’s son, who you desperately wanted to see as well but how you left things made you hesitant.

“Not today, she’s off for the weekend.” You nod, mumbling that it’s nice that she takes the weekend for herself. 

“I know you and Cheol had some blowout when you left but I’m going to see him later after I drop you off, if you wanna come with you’re more than welcome too.”

“What’re you two doing?” Mingyu was surprised you didn’t immediately shoot down his offer, he thought it would take more convincing.

“We’re going to the river for a bonfire with Jeonghan and Wonwoo.”

“They’re home too?” They had both left for college around the same time you had.

“Yeah, they come home every break they can.. Unlike someone I know.” He laughs lightheartedly. You huff quietly, unsure of how to respond. How do you respond anyways? You never wanted to come back, memories weighed heavy on your heart and the only thing keeping you to your hometown was the friends that resided in it.

“Hey,” Mingyu's voice softens. “I get it, you got out when you saw the chance and I’m proud of you.” 

“Thank you.” Your voice was just as soft as you watched the familiar scenery zip by. A nice silence fell between the two of you as he focused on driving, the train station sitting a couple miles out from the town you used to live in. 

“The bank sold the house by the way.” Mingyu broke the silence, a nervous sweat settled on his forehead as he broke the news to you. 

“About time.” You sigh, another weight you didn’t realize you were holding lifted off your shoulders. “Less for me to deal with now.” 

“You’re not upset?” Mingyu looks at you out of the corner of his eye. 

“No,” You sit up straighter and begin picking at the hem of your jacket. “My father was a drunk with thousands of dollars of debt he owed the bank so I’m not even surprised they sold it to make back what they lost and then some I’m sure.” 

“At least an actual family bought it instead of some corporation.” Mingyu tried to lighten the mood. “They just moved in and they have a newborn and a cute dog that I think you’d like.” 

“What kind of dog is it?” You side eye Mingyu, appreciative of the fact he moved on from the sensitive topic so quickly. 

“A corgi, they said it’s a black tricolor… Whatever that means.”

“It’s the fur color, it’s mainly black with a little bit of brown and white?”

“Yes! See this is why you went to college, you’re smart as hell.” You shake your head with a smile on your face. 

“You’re smart too, Gyu, and not going to college doesn’t affect that.” He shrugs as he slows his speed down after approaching the edge of town. 

“If you say so cherry pop.” Just as he pulled up to the first stoplight the roar of a loud engine could be heard from a distance. 

“I bet that’s Cheol.” You look at Mingyu confused before your question gets lost once you see the helmet less Seungcheol sped by on a motorcycle you had never seen before, his once dark hair was bleached blonde.

“That’s Cheol?” You asked as you watched him disappear down the opposite street you and Mingyu turned down. 

“Yeah, he changed quite a bit since you left.” That was an understatement as Seungcheol looked as big as Mingyu, maybe bigger if you dared to think.

“I can see that, can’t believe he bleached his hair.” 

“He did that pretty recently actually, said he needed a change and decided the worst that could happen is his hair would fall out.” 

“He’d look good with a buzz cut.” Mingyu laughs at the thought causing you to laugh too. 

“You should tell him that tonight when we hang out, I guarantee he’ll either blow a gasket or take you seriously and actually cut his hair off.” 

“He would drown me in the river first before he’d listen to me.” 

“I don’t know cherry pop, you were very influential to him for a long time. Remember how he did your bidding all throughout elementary school?” 

“Yeah cause I tossed him off the merry-go-round at recess and he decided he was scared of me until junior high.” 

“I think we were all scared of you after that,” Mingyu puts the car in park after pulling up to the diner. “The older kids wouldn’t mess with me either because you scared them too.” The fact Mingyu is younger than you by two years makes you question reality as he’s much bigger then you now and has been since junior high. 

“Still wild to think about.” You laugh as Mingyu hops out the truck to run over and open the door for you, he’s never allowed you to open your own door since he started driving. 

“Oh, I guess Cheol’s mom is working today.” Mingyu closes the door behind you and puts the key in the handle to lock it as he stares at the familiar woman through the window that was taking someone’s order. “Someone must’ve called out of work today.” 

The two of you walk to the front door together, making small talk about anything and everything. Seungcheol’s mother greeted the two of you with a smile and handed you two menus once you sat down. 

“It’s good to see you sweetheart.” She smiles widely at you, she was always like a second mother to you growing up especially after you mothers untimely passing. 

“It’s good to see you too, you look great.” You smile warmly, despite any animosity you might feel for her son right now you will never be able to hate this woman. 

“I’ll start you two off with some water?” You both nod, prompting her to walk away. 

“So how’s the ranch?” You scan the menu, already knowing what you want but wanting to check to see if anything new was added. 

“It’s good, Cheol doesn’t work there anymore.” Mingyu doesn’t look up from his menu to see your surprised expression. “Mr. Johnson offered him a job as a mechanic after seeing the work he would do on the farm equipment.” 

“Mechanics suit him.” You smile at his mother when she comes back with your waters. 

“Do you two know what you want?” You both nod, letting Mingyu order first despite the look he gave you after you shrug and take a big gulp of your water. “Are you getting your usual sweetheart?” She turns to you.

“How do you remember what I used to order?” Your eyes widen.

“You’d order the same thing almost every time you’d come here since you were a kid and I’ve been working here longer than you’ve been alive so I have it practically engraved into my memory.” She laughs quietly as she takes your menus. “You and my son are the same in your consistency in ordering the same thing.” 

“Oh.” You could feel your face heating up at the thought. You’re happy she didn’t bother to push a conversation as she went to help more people that came in. 

“You and Cheol are as opposite as opposite can be.” 

“You don’t say.” You roll your eyes playfully. 

The banter between you and Mingyu continued on, even after your food came you both found something to poke — and trust me there was a lot to poke at that has happened over the past three years that couldn’t be conveyed over letters and the occasional call here and there. 

“We should head out now, get you to the ranch so you can clean up and rest before tonight.” Mingyu paid for your guy's food like the gentleman he is and held the door open for you as you walked out into the warm summer air. 

“Am I obligated to go swimming tonight?” Mingyu shakes his head. 

“You’re not but we’ll all be swimming so,” He hops into the truck after opening the door for you. “Just to be safe you might wanna wear your swimsuit.” 

“Got it.” You nod your head before watching out the window again, committing your old hometown to memory again. The drive to the ranch was peaceful and long, sitting a few miles out of town on the opposite side of where the diner was. 

Once you got to Mingyu's house and greeted his family and caught up, you went to the spare room upstairs to unload your bags and lay on the bed to unwind. A quick nap was sure to help the oncoming headache you got so after changing your clothes to be a little more comfortable you crawl under the freshly cleaned blanket and almost instantly knock out. 

A couple hours pass by before Mingyu is knocking on the door to wake you up, telling you the guys are heading to the river now and that you two need to get going soon.

Groaning quietly as you sit up in bed and stretch, it felt nice to not have to worry about anything as this is the first summer you decided to not take summer classes as you'd be graduating early after this upcoming fall semester. Getting up and taking your walkman out of your bag again you took out the nirvana cassette and put in green day instead, the music more uplifting and giving you an ounce of energy to put your swimsuit on and a pair of shorts and jacket to cover yourself. 

“How was your nap dear?” Mingyu's mother greeted you as you walked down the stairs, your friend standing by the door waiting (im)patiently for you. 

“Amazing, sitting all day in those train seats takes a toll on your back.” You take your walkman headphones off and half hazardously shove them into your jacket pocket. 

“Tell me about it, I can’t sit for too long now without going stiff.” She smiles warmly as she wishes you two well as you b-line to the door after Mingyu told you to hurry up. 

 “Couldn’t even give me time to say bye.” You grumble as you shuffle up to the truck where Mingyu was holding the door for you. 

“Sorry cherry pop, the guys are waiting for us and we still gotta get drinks.” 

“Why are we getting the drinks?” You buckle up and put your headphones back on, both of your tastes in music are dramatically different as he puts in a country cassette into the radio. 

“You’re home, they want you to get what you want instead of drinking what they like.” 

“They still drink that shitty dollar beer right?” Mingyu nods. “Then we drink the same thing, not much has changed as I still couldn’t afford the expensive stuff being at college.” 

“Great, that makes this run cheap.” The ride to the corner store was quick, the street lights lining the road leading from the ranch to town making the trees look ominous. 

Once you guys had secured the alcohol you made your way to the river. The long body of water stretched for miles outside of town in both directions, and the one spot you guys have always met up at since junior high was hidden away. You had thick bushes to climb through and poison ivy to look out for as it wasn’t a regular site on the river to be at. 

“Mingyu! Y/N!” Jeonghan called happily when he saw the two of you emerge from the bushes. The bonfire was already large and roaring while Cheol and Wonwoo were already in the water swimming. 

“Hannie!” You smile and hug him happily, he was always the least affectionate person so when he offered you a hug you always took it. 

“How have you been? It’s been years!” He pulls away from the hug to greet Mingyu while sitting down in his chair and pats the one next to him that looked to have been occupied by Seungcheol at one point based on the jacket hanging on it. 

“I’ve been good, college has been tough but I'm graduating a semester early.” You smile at Mingyu who hands you a beer before he sets the box down and makes quick work to strip down to his swim trunks so he can join the other two in the water. “How have you been?” 

“I’ve been great, graduating a semester later than I should've, but I took a light load last semester because I was back and forth to be here for Cheol while his mom was in the hospital.” you nod your head while taking a drink of your beer. You never realized that his mom being in the hospital was that bad. 

“Mingyu didn’t tell me much about her being in the hospital so I didn’t realize it was that bad.” You look out at the three guys who are currently climbing the rock in the middle of the river so they can jump into the water.

“He wanted to write to you, ever since you left it’s all he had been beside himself about but when his mother got sick he wanted to write to you even more.” Jeonghans voice was soft, nervous that the said male would hear your two's conversation and start hounding him for spilling the secret. 

“I wanted to write him too, but-“

“But you couldn’t, I’m not as hard headed as Seungcheol so I get why but I don’t get why you couldn’t have let him down sooner.” You sigh, this was a conversation you knew you’d have eventually as Jeonghan was Seungcheols best friend outside of you and he was the only one that knew about you two. 

“I wanted to, believe me it was never my plan to break things off the day I was leaving but I was selfish and didn’t want to let him go yet.”

“You are selfish,” You laugh quietly, thanking him. “But he’s selfish too, this town holds too many bad memories for you and he wanted to tie you to it when you finally had the chance to escape it.”

“You know, I asked him to come with me.” You took another sip of your beer, your eyes back on the blonde who seemed to feel you staring as he tilted his head back and gave you a bitter smirk. “When I first got the acceptance letter and I was on the fence about going, he wanted me to go but he also wanted me to stay and so I told him to come with me so I didn’t have to choose.”

“He never told me that.” Jeonghan opens up another beer and gingerly takes a sip of it. 

“I’m not surprised, I think he thought it was a joke.” You finally tear your eyes off of Seungcheol to look at Jeonghan. “After that I didn’t tell him I committed and just continued to relish our time together.”

“Y’know, he wanted you to go because this was your dream but he wanted to be a part of that dream and you keeping that from him and then cutting ties with him when you left is what broke him.” 

“I didn’t mean to.” You mumbled and looked down at your half empty beer can. “He was the one that told me that if I wasn’t willing to make things work then he didn’t want to hear from me.”

“Well he’s dumb,” Jeonghan takes another sip. “But so are you.”

“I know.” You close your eyes and sigh, letting your head lull back on the chair. 

“Are you going to talk to him while you’re home? It is the first time you’ve been home since leaving after all.” 

“This isn’t my home anymore.” You don’t bother to open your eyes as you take in the warm night air. This hasn’t been your home since you left and it hasn’t felt like home for far longer, the only thing (or person) that made you feel remotely anchored here was Seungcheol. 

“It was your home at one point, and I'd argue it still is because Seungcheol and the rest of us are here.” 

“Corny loser.” You mumble, a small smile cracking at your lips before you sit up straight. “I’ll talk to him, I promise. I had been prepping myself all week to mend things between us while I was here.” 

“Good.” Jeonghan smiles and downs the rest of his beer. “Now hurry up and finish drinking so we can go join them in the water before it gets colder.” 

“You’re going to die in that water, it’s too cold for you already.” You laugh before downing the rest of your beer so you can strip down to your swimsuit, making sure not to toss your walkman around too much. 

“I’ll manage.” He shrugs after taking his clothes off too before walking cautiously up to the edge of the water. He barely touches it with his big toe and he curses. 

“Told you,” You stand beside him and watch his reaction. “You just gotta go in as quick as you can.” You show him how it’s done as you take a deep breath in and hold it as you quickly walk into the water before you’re deep enough to dive under. 

“Show off.” He huffs before he follows in your footsteps, cursing the whole way up to his shoulders. 

“You did it han,” Wonwoo pats him on the shoulder. “You’re shivering already.” 

“It’s fucking cold and you’re all insane.” He huffs and starts to swim around a little, letting the cold water soothe his warm skin. 

“I think it feels good.” You had popped back up next to Mingyu who was standing with Seungcheol who was watching Jeonghan worried. 

“It does feel good.” Mingyu lets the water support his body as he starts to swim backwards, no longer being a wall between you and the ire of your freshman year of college. 

“It’s good to see you Y/N.” Wonwoo gives you a small smile before he also swims away, leaving you and Seungcheol alone and seeing the look on Jeonghan's face in the distance makes you believe that this was planned. He clears his throat when he seems to realize you two are alone.

“Um,” Is all he manages to say before you’re taking a deep breath and turning to look at him. 

“Hi Seungcheol.” He flinches at the use of his full name.

“Ouch, hi litt-“ He catches himself using the old nickname he had for you. “Hi Y/N.”

“God I hate this.” You can’t be bothered to hide the fact that the whole situation makes you sad and angry already, you missed him and he was right there in front of you and you were both acting like you wanted nothing to do with each other, which might’ve been true right after you had left but as time went on it faded into longing and anger at oneself.

“You hate this? How do you think I feel?” He crosses his arms and looks down at you. 

“Cheol I-“

“I don’t want to hear excuses.”

“Ok asshole I was going to apologize but not anymore.” You roll your eyes and turn away from him so you could swim away, the conversation you had with Jeonghan felt like complete bullshit now. 

“Wait,” he grabbed your arm to spin you back around, the water splashing violently at the fast movement. “I’m sorry, for everything.” It was rare that he’d ever apologize and right now it felt out of place as he had no reason to apologize at the moment. 

“I practiced how this conversation would go for weeks and this was not one of the ways I accounted for. You weren’t supposed to apologize first.” You look up at Seungcheol who was just staring at you silently now, his hand still holding tightly on your arm. “Seungcheol I-“

“Stop calling me that.”

“Stop interrupting,” You huff, the smallest smile forming on his face “I’m sorry for how I left things and for everything leading up to when I left.” 

“Y’know, I spent most of the first year you were gone blaming you, and then I started blaming myself until my mother made me realize that neither of us were to blame and then I spent the remainder of the time just numb.”

“If you stopped blaming me, how come you didn’t write to me?”

“You never wrote to me.” He sounded hurt and you were hurt too but you hated the pain in his voice and it caused you to move closer to him, hoping you could erase even just a hint of it.

“I’m sorry, there was never a time where I didn’t think about writing to you but your words kept playing in my head about how you never wanted to hear from me if I left our relationship behind.”

“It wasn’t much of a relationship then was it, we were just friends exploring each other,” That’s what you liked to tell eachother when you were in denial about your feelings. “I wrote letters, most of them are stamped and sitting in my desk drawer because I couldn’t bring myself to send them.”

“Yet you bought stamps for them?” You raise an eyebrow curiously. 

“Yes,” He huffs, trying to hide the ounce of embarrassment he’s feeling. “I’d get these bouts of feelings where I’d want to send them and I’d get all the way to the post office with a stamp on the envelope and the second I’d park I’d back out and go back home only to hide it away with the others.” 

“Cheol…” 

“I know it’s probably stupid and I’ll just burn them all now since you’re home and-“

“I’m not staying,” You cut him off for some reason. “I mean I’m staying for the summer but I’m going back home to finish my last semester of college so I can get a job at a vet clinic there.” 

“That’s ok, this time I promise I will write.”

“You should come with me.” You blurt out like you did all those years ago.

“I can’t leave my mother, she won’t leave this town and with her health fluctuating I just can’t.” He gave you an actual answer this time unlike he did when you were younger. 

“I get it, she needs you.. But one day you have to leave this place, don’t you think?” Your hand gently touches his arm as you drift even closer to him. 

“I never thought of leaving until you left.” He mumbled as his hands moved to ghost over your sides that were under the water. 

“One day?” You sounded hopeful. “Even if we’re old and married to other people do you think you’d still leave?” 

“I..” His voice trailed off as your breath got closer to his face. “I’d never marry… unless it was you.” He whispered before he finally kissed you, the weight of what he said disappearing as you both got lost in the taste of each other. After what felt like an eternity you finally pulled away out of breath, a quiet whistle could be heard from behind Seungcheol somewhere and you assumed it had to be Jeonghan since Mingyu would’ve quite literally jumped the two of you. 

“Cheol- '' He cuts you off.

“Let's enjoy the night, yeah?” He didn’t want to talk about what he just said, or what the future would hold anymore. It’ll take time, you both realized, for things to go back to normal but for now you were content with how things were because this time he knew what to expect when summer ends, he just hoped that you’d change your mind about long distance relationships. And you hoped he’d change his mind about rotting away in this small town.

feedback + reblogs greatly appreciated! let me know what you guys thought!

[honeylations]

KIM MINJEONG x FEM!READER

Prompt: Minjeong, your best friend (and secret crush), lied to her parents about having a girlfriend. You didn’t expect that YOU were the girlfriend. Let’s see how your heart plays out.

Warnings/Notes: loser nerd Minjeong, g!p Minjeong, eventual smut, best friends to lovers

A/N: more loser Minjeong because she’s so cute

‘Sorry, will be a few mins late!’ Was Minjeong’s last text before you found yourself sitting alone in the Uni’s library for what was supposed to be exam prepping.

However the ‘few mins’ that Minjeong said ended up being almost half an hour and you were close to ditching the plan for a matcha latte, but the taller girl touched your shoulder which almost sent you into cardiac arrest.

“Jesus Jeongie! Don’t sneak up on my like that!”

“I’m sorry for making you wait! Something happened at home so I couldn’t just leave” she sighed and sat beside you.

She was wearing her oversized Minecraft shirt and baggy jeans. Complimented with her old and extremely dirty converses that you told her to throw away. Her short hair was tied into a mini ponytail and her adorable black glasses were taped together in the middle after she accidentally got hit with a basketball in the face.

Oh your adorable nerdy Jeongie :(

“Wanna talk about it?” You asked softly once seeing her stressed state.

She nodded cutely. Like a little puppy. But that thought went out the window when she rested her arm around the back of your chair, leaning closely so no one else would hear what she was gonna say.

Your stomach started to do flips from the close proximity. Her big eyes looked into yours desperately, like she was asking for help.

“Please don’t get mad, Y/n-ie”

“What’s wrong Jeongie?”

She sighed once more and looked away for a split second before meeting your eyes again. My God, she was so hot.

“I may or may not have told my parents that you were my girlfriend…”

That’s when you lost your voice. The air around you felt thick and there was only one way you were able to respond.

You punched her face.

Minjeong grunted and fell out of her seat from the sudden blow. She held her cheek and turned to you in shock. “What the hell Y/n!”

“Are you kidding me Minjeong? What the hell happened for you to lie like that!”

She stood up, still holding her pained cheek. “Both of my sisters got girlfriends leaving me stuck like some virgin loser with no life! What else was I supposed to do? My parents are on my tail and I couldn’t let them know that I’m still refusing to have some human interaction while playing with legos”

You threw a small tantrum. “So what, we just hold hands for the rest of our lives?”

“Look, I just want you to come for dinner tonight. Have some simple conversations with them and it’ll seal the deal. They won’t bother me anymore after”

She was making it harder for you to say no. You wanted her so bad as your girlfriend since you first met but not in the situation she has currently put you in. Letting go of her face, she walked up to you and gently rubbed your shoulders.

You looked up and felt the butterflies again. Why couldn’t the girlfriend thing just be real instead?

“Please Y/n-ie. I really need your help”

Well that was enough to convince you. Talk about being whipped.

“Alright Jeongie. But you owe me big time”

“Yes yes of course! Thank you!” She cutely celebrated and pulled you in for a tight hug.

“I’ll send you my parent’s address. Come at 7 okay? You can even sleep over my dorm afterwards”

“That sounds nice. I haven’t slept over your dorm in a while”

She shrugged. “We get too busy nowadays”

“Yeah we do. Do I have to dress nicely?”

Minjeong looked up to think for a moment before nodding. “Might as well. I’ll dress nice too”

“Alright. Let’s start studying”

You stood at the front door and rang the bell, quickly adjusting the short tight dress just in time for Minjeong to open the door to greet you.

You found yourself stuck in a trance as your best friend revealed herself in a black button up and slacks. The top 3 buttons were undone to reveal the chain necklace you gifted her ages ago.

Minjeong wasn’t wearing her glasses either and her short brown hair wasn’t tied in her usual ponytail. Her hair was free and looking so fluffy as she ran her fingers through it.

“Y/n welcome!” She gave that ever so handsome smile while hugging you.

Her perfume was stronger than usual, almost intoxicating you.

“Jeongie you look so…”

“Different? Yeah I know. It feels a bit weird” she giggled and looked at her own outfit.

“I was gonna say hot but yeah that works too”

Her lips parted adorably. “You think so?”

“Don’t get too happy now” you winked as she allowed you inside and to the kitchen where her parents and two sisters were seated at the table.

“Just go with the flow. It’ll be okay” she whispered in your ear before gently holding your hand. “Everyone, this is my girlfriend, Jang Y/n. Y/n, these are my parents and my two sisters Chaewon and Taeyeon”

You bowed and flashed a bright smile. “Pleasure to finally meet you all!”

“I didn’t think our little JeongJeong was able to pull such a pretty woman” Taeyeon smiled, making you instantly blush.

You felt Minjeong’s hand tighten around yours and you noticed her jaw clenching. Chaewon picked up on it aswell and began laughing.

“Oh relax Minjeong, no one’s planning to steal your girl. Tone down the jealousy”

“I’m not jealous. Come on Y/n, take a seat” she said and pulled the chair out for you to sit on.

She took her own seat afterwards and returned to holding your hand again. “Also guys, please don’t overwhelm my girlfriend with too many questions okay? I’m sure she’s tired already from her uni lectures today”

“Oh you study Y/n?” Her Dad asked with crossed arms as if he was studying you.

“Yes sir, I’m a pharmacy student” you answered proudly, earning an impressed reaction from the family.

“Is that so? May I ask why?”

“My dad currently owns a pharmacy and I hope to open my own after graduation”

“Awe you’re such a sweetheart” Minjeong’s mom cooed, holding your free hand. “Let’s not bother her any longer, honey” She whispered to her husband and then smiling at you again.

“Let’s eat now”

And that’s how the remainder of the dinner went. Chaewon and Taeyeon asked a few more casual questions here and there to get to know you better and surprisingly the 3 of you clicked. You and Chaewon love mint chocolate ice cream whereas you and Taeyeon used to play the violin.

That’s when the two older Kim sisters brought out expensive wine for you to share and then you got a bit carried away from the delectable taste.

Chaewon was slightly worse. Only two glasses in and she was passed out at the dinner table. Taeyeon was more responsible, being the eldest sibling as she took reasonable sips of the liquor. You just chugged every pour and your red cheeks were enough of a sign for Minjeong to confiscate the glass from you.

“That’s enough, Y/n”

“Awe man” you whined and let your head fall onto her shoulder.

“I didn’t expect the dinner to end like this. Sorry Mom and Dad. I promise you she doesn’t usually drink so carelessly” Minjeong smiled sheepishly at her smiling parents

“Sometimes a uni student needs their break” Her mom giggled.

“Thanks for introducing her to us, darling. She’s a gem you need to take care of. If I find out you made her cry, I’m hunting YOU down” Her dad joked, earning a nudge from his wife.

“Thanks guys. It’s time to take her home. I’ll visit you guys again next weekend once exams are over” Minjeong told.

She stood up with you leaning into her arms like a sleepy toddler.

“That sounds lovely. Do bring Y/n again if you can”

“I’ll ask her. Have a goodnight, I love you both”

You woke up during the car ride back to Minjeong’s dorm, feeling a bit dizzy from the wine. “Jeongie?”

“Hey, silly. Didn’t expect you to wake up so soon”

You sat up in the passenger seat and started scanning the view of your supposed to be nerdy best friend driving. She looked so attractive?

She had one hand on the wheel and the other resting on the gear stick, unintentionally displaying the rings on her index and middle finger.

“What’s going on?”

“You’re sleeping over my place remember? Unless you changed your mind. I can drive you to your place instead”

“No no!” You quickly panicked, surprising Minjeong a little.

“Cool. You feeling better?”

The effects of the alcohol were coming back as your eyes did their own thing again, starting from your best friend’s Adam’s Apple down to her unbuttoned shirt and finally…her crotch.

You remember accidentally walking in on her changing out of her pants and seeing quite an impressive size underneath her boxers but that was when Minjeong’s dick was flaccid. It made you wonder the size when hard.

“I’d suck your dick until my jaw dislocates” You randomly blurt out.

Minjeong’s eyes went wide, almost sending the car flying with how hard she slammed on the brakes. “W-What?”

The wine was giving you more confidence than needed so you decided to continue by running a hand from her knee up to her crotch and giving a gentle squeeze. Minjeong’s hands tightened around the wheel as she continued driving.

“Y-Y/n, we’re gonna crash”

“You don’t understand how badly I’ve wanted you, Jeongie” you husked, hand never leaving her bulge.

“Y-You want me?” She cutely squeaked, eyes darting from your hand to the road.

“Always wanted you. The faster you drive us, the faster you get to fucking me, baby” you whispered hotly in her ear and kissing the lobe after.

“Fuck”

You found out that same night that Minjeong didn’t like taking things slow. You were both already naked on her bed, her hand wrapped around your throat while she kissed you like she was starved.

She quickly sat up and fished out a condom but you snatched it from her and threw it away. “I want it raw, baby”

“Do you just let anyone fuck you raw?”

“No, just you. You’re all I ever think about”

Minjeong cursed under her breath before kissing you again, already pushing in her cock inside your desperate cunt. Her lips moved to the space on your neck that her hand wasn’t covering, sucking and biting while your back arched.

“Oh my god, Jeongie”

She smirked into your skin and began moving her hips. “My pretty cock sleeve”

Her words, her actions, her tone were beyond your expectations. A loser nerd girl who was also fucking hot under the sheets and knows how to use her dick? There’s nothing else you could’ve wanted.

“Ah!” You gasped at a particular hard thrust, pushing Minjeong’s head closer to your skin that she continued marking.

“Fuck Princess, need you to be mine” she growled and the hand she had on your throat had pinned your wrists above your head, letting you see her biceps under the dim lighting and her hot face, shining with sweat.

Her chain was dangling just above your nose as her movements became rougher. She bit on her lower lip and released a muffled moan that got you clenching.

“Shit. Gonna fucking cum, Y/n-ie”

“Yes please, Jeongie! I want to be yours”

She leaned down to kiss your nipples and then your lips. “Gonna claim you, okay baby? Not only will you be my girlfriend but you’ll be my personal cum dump too. How does that sound?” She smirked evilly, watching you nod.

“Yes yes yes! Fucking have me. I’ll be anything you want!”

“Good” Minjeong simply said before flipping you over with your ass up.

She held your hips and began fucking you from behind like a mad dog, slapping your ass hard enough to leave a mark. You cried into the sheets as you fisted the ruined blanket, looking to the side and seeing the lewd reflection in the mirror.

You could see Minjeong’s lips parted as she destroyed your insides, almost setting them on fire. “Fuck, gonna cum in this delicious pussy of yours, baby”

You chanted a bunch of “yes”’s as the bed started ramming into the wall. Your eyes rolled back and you released a scream, feeling yourself explode your cum all over Minjeong’s big cock, but she continued to pound into you chasing for her own release.

“Fucking take it, bitch” she panted, feeling the familiar tightness in her abdomen. “Holy shit, Y/n!”

You moaned at the warm feeling of her cum fill your insides, certain that it was going to trickle out of you. Minjeong pulled out and kissed your right ass cheek before staring intently at the white liquid escaping your abused pussy.

“I came a lot for a virgin” she chuckled, making your head whip so fast.

“You’re a virgin?!”

“I thought it would be obvious with, you know, the Minecraft shirts, my Roblox merch…”

“You’re a virgin but you literally fucked me like that?!” You said breathlessly.

“Pleasing a woman doesn’t seem so hard. Porn sites are quite educational too” she winked and laid you beside her.

She pulled the sheets over your sweaty bodies and kissed your crown. “So…does this mean you’re my girlfriend now? Like for real?”

You looked up at her and giggled. “Yes it does”

“Yayyy” she scrunched her nose, personality returning to the loser Minjeong you fell in love with.

“I need to build my Lego soon” she added.

“It’s literally 4am”

“I said what I said”

[gavisimmaculaterizz]

It was evening and y/n was in the bath doing skincare routine, but then she started crying because she started getting acne. She didn’t want to show it to Hector, but he did find out and he started supporting her and explaining that she was the most beautiful girl

Sorry for my English, is not my native language 🤪🤪

— beautiful girl / hector fort.

summary: you’re having troubles with your skin, but hector tells you he loves you no matter what.

warnings: mentions of breaking out (acne), some negative thoughts

masterlist

university has been eating at you, not being able to care for yourself properly. school work on top of school work, test on top of test, you never got enough rest. you always hated yourself for not being able to care for yourself when uni got that bad.

you were such an organized person, always doing your skincare, and as of now, even the smallest parts of your daily routine were far gone.

to say the least, you were a mess.

your boyfriend héctor always offered to do your skincare, being fond of your perfectionist routine. but you always denied, telling him that it wasn’t his problem, and that he shouldn’t have to worry.

————————————————————————

as you finally had a day of rest, you decided to take matters into your own hands, and finally fix yourself up. you did your nails, had your everything shower, and put on nice pajamas.

the evening was nice and calm in barcelona , and that set you in a better mood to continue in with your routine.

but as you started on your skincare, you noticed red dots on your skin. as you got closer and closer to your bathroom mirror, there it was. something you never expected..

acne..

it never occurred to you to check in the mirror before you went to uni, because of how busy you were, but now looking at yourself, you were deeply regretting not checking once in the mirror.

you rarely had problems with acne, your skincare routine always provided a good protection against acne. but since you haven’t been able to take care of yourself, there you were, having to deal with problems on your skin.

it could’ve been hormonal changes you were going through, but you couldn’t find why you broke out. but there you were..

you couldn’t help but start to tear up, thoughts racing through your head.

“how come i never noticed?”, you whispered to yourself. tears began streaming down your face, not being able to control your emotions anymore.

as your emotions began to take over, your mind went wandering..

‘why does my boyfriend even like me?’ ‘am i even good enough for him?’ ‘why did i not take care of myself properly?’

as you were so in your head, you never noticed the bathroom door opening.

héctor had just came back from an outing with his teammates. when he came back home, he heard soft sobs heard from your shared room, and he decided to investigate.

when he opened the door to your shared bathroom, he noticed you crying. confused as he was, he decided to walk quietly to you, trying to figure out why you were crying.

he noticed you rubbing at your skin, saying something he couldn’t comprehend, but that’s when it hit him.

you were crying because you broke out.

he felt sad that you weren’t able to properly take care of yourself, and deep down he knew you were blaming yourself for having university overload you with stress.

he quietly hugged you, which quickly got you out of your thoughts.

while there were no words exchanged, the only thing heard were quiet sobs from you.

as minutes passed by, you spoke up.

“dime la verdad héctor, me quieres así de fea?”, you said, clearly emotional. (tell me the truth hector, you love me this ugly)

“como crees que no te amo!! i love you the way you are baby.. why do you think that?”, hector said, voice lingering with sadness and confusion. (why do you think that i don’t love you)

“don’t you see my skin amor! how do you love someone like me, who’s skin looks terrible..?”, you said quietly, voice cracking at the end.

“i love you with or without acne amor,” hector started.

“you need to understand that this happens to people. you’re the most gorgeous person i’ve ever laid my eyes upon! te quiero sin o con maquillaje, sin o con problemas de piel.” héctor said softly. (i love you with or without makeup, with or without skin problems)

his words calmed you down. you thought you weren’t enough for him. he was a gorgeous man, with great skin, not a single problem with his skin.

you felt insecure with those pimples, although it would be gone, you still felt a bit insecure.

he noticed your face and decided to reassure more..

“you know amor, you’re the most beautiful girl ever.. i love you no matter what.”, your boyfriend said.

he ended it with a kiss.. problems soon faded away.

you were his beautiful girl and he loved you no matter what.

a/n: first héctor fic! ngl i didn’t know how to even start it so if it seems weird pls forgive me! also mind my shitty writing for dear life.. please send requests if you have some🤍

[bluexiao]

#kunikuzushi, how do you love? 

—rewritten relationship headcanons (from “scaramouche, how do you love?” )

THEMES. (pre)relationship, fluff, domestic, character analysis, love languages, use of his real name

NOTES. okay, just a little bit of storytime on how i was so tempted to write this (albeit again) is that recently my mom got fractured and as i am an only child and away from home since i’m going to uni and in a dorm, it’s my dad who’s taking care of my mom. and oh my god. both scara and my dad are capricorns and their bdays are even next to each other,,, and i just cant help but like compare their love languages a bit (it may sound weird but trust me this will be good)

WANDERER / KUNIKUZUSHI 

He knows love—knows its meaning, knows what it does, and knows what its consequences are. Love is but a rose with thorns, pricking whoever chooses to admire its beauty and immerse them in its pleasure. Love is a danger, and far too humanly him. 

It will not be long until he recognizes this disgusting feeling since he met you. 

But as he was his own person, he chose not to identify it—to call it by its name. Out of fear? No. Out of instincts. 

He who didn’t have a heart suddenly felt love? Preposterous. Absurd. He wasn’t human, nor will he stoop so low to pretend to be one. 

Yet he underestimated you far too much—your… charm… so to speak, along with the unpredictability of your actions. How you show up and how your lips curl up in a gentle smile and how his name slips out of them ever so… gentle. Everything about you is gentle, and kind, and so… so-

“Good morning, Kunikuzushi” 

His jaw tightens and he dreaded for the sudden presence almost immediately as it had appeared. 

“It’s you.” It’s always been you—the only one that actually makes him want to run away from. But he won’t, no. He wouldn’t give you the pleasure to know, not ever. 

“It’s me,” you smiled, “hey, I haven’t seen you for a while. You even changed your outfit! Blue looks good on you.” 

He scoffs, almost out of instinct. It is true that it has been a while since he last saw you and yet, it felt like it was just yesterday. And with that thought, he couldn’t bear to look directly in your eyes that with a hand on his hat, he looks away. 

“There’s no need for pleasantries,”—like usual, he replies, and he adds on, “but it’s not much of a surprise to see you again, Y/n.” 

Which actually translates to “it’s nice to see you again”. 

The only time he will actually “confess” with such feelings in mind to you is never—not outrightly or with words, but rather by his actions. 

The indication you may want to look out for is when he himself attentively seeks you out, if you see him often, and if he actually stays with you for a long time, almost the whole day—actually, even if he spares you just a bit of it would be a good indicator. 

When he places an arm over your form whenever there’s an incoming enemy, muttering a “Move back” and makes sure you would actually listen before he proceeds to atack and defeat anyone on his way—both of yours.

When he offers his hand every time there’s a steep slope that you had to pass by, scoffing at your surprised look and says “Couldn’t have you fall down and whine all the way back. Now, come on, lend me your hand before I change my mind.” 

When he waits for you until you finish your work—you’d almost think he wouldn’t since it took you a while, only to find that he’s still there, arms crossed over his chest as he’s leaning on a wall on a far corner, yet it’s still enough to have you visible from his view. “What? Why are you looking at me with that face? I’m not tired, is that what you’re thinking? I don’t tire easily, human.” 

And whenever you’re sick or you’re injured, he will be more silent than he ever was, by your side with pursed lips, nursing you back to health. Even without him actually saying it, you will know how affected he was just by seeing your state. If he told you of his history, you’d know right away that seeing your fragility, vulnerability, your mortality… it can trigger memories that were not really the nicest to him. 

“What happened?” 

For a moment, you can see the hurt in his eyes, struggling to find the right words even if you knew you could explain the situation very well only to falter right in front of him. With this side of him. 

“Kuni, I… I just-“ 

‘How can you be so careless?” His voice was weaker, much more gentle despite its usual tone still laced with it. Yet the Wanderer finds himself unable to change his disposition, not with you like this. 

“Humans…” he mutters under his own breath, and you are unable to speak any more. 

But despite everything, he only knows love, he spent most of his lifetime seeing it as a nuisance, a danger. He did not want to love, did not want the desire to flow in his mechanical and heartless body. 

And yet, it seems that even a puppet without a heart like him can. Love—whatever it is. 

“I love you,” it was you who confessed, “Kunikuzushi.” 

Despite already knowing it deep down, the crease on his brow was visible despite how he tried to look calm, but as you didn’t see such a tiny detail with your head bowed down, you continued on. 

“It’s getting… I mean, I don’t know if you really like me the same way, or you’re just too bored on your own or just treat me as a friend, but… but I don’t think I can go on without being honest to you.” 

Only when you looked directly at him did he feel it—a pang in his empty mechanical chest and a pressure on his shoulders. 

“I don’t like you as just a friend, Kuni.”

A minute or two passes—that’s what you felt like anyway as you melt under his gaze, awaiting for his answer or just… anything! 

“Ugh… why…” 

Then his facade fades, all by a bite on the lip as he looks away for a moment with a hand on his hat. And even if he tried to retract his face away from your view, you could still see enough to notice the pinkish red hue on the skin of his face, all the more so with his exposed ear. 

And as if the pressure in the air gives up to gravity, that same weight on your own shoulders eases up, eyes widening at the sight in front of you. 

Then he peeks from his hat and glares at you, “Why… why are you doing this to me, Y/n?” 

The transition to dating wouldn’t even make much of a big difference, actually. That was what he realized when you two were already “dating” so it seems. Frankly, he was confused by it, only to come up with the conclusion that it is better this way anyway. You and him… are just you and him, there was no need for extravagance and grand changes. 

But really, it was because you two were already comfortable with each other. And the only thing that changed was… 

You blink your eyes open and you welcome the sight of him right in front of you, his soft laughter enveloping your ears as he grins at you. You didn’t know what amuses him so much that he can smile like that, but… 

“What? What is it, Kuni? Did I…” 

“You fell asleep just from reading a couple of books. To think you’d be this lazy in studying, darling.” 

He then leans in and presses his lips on your forehead, not before swiping his palm on them and scoffing afterwards. “Overworking doesn’t make you more intelligent. How about falling asleep on an actual bed so you can have an adequate amount of energy left,” he crosses his arms, “Actually. Sleep on the bed now, or I’ll have to carry you instead.”

He scolds you more… and also kisses you too. A lot of it consists of pecks here and there, it doesn’t really matter to him when or where. He doesn't care if people saw or not—if they did, it’s a good thing anyway, they’d know who they’ll come up against if they ever mess with you. 

He’s with you most of the time but in times that you’re not and he’s having his own travels alone—which happens quite rarely, actually, he would always go home immediately. He’s not that privy of having to part from you for so long—not that he’d admit that outrightly, but you’d notice it straight away. 

And if he does part with you for a while, he will make you give him your handkerchief or anything small that belongs to you, something that reminds him of you and the home he will go home to. That he’s not just a wanderer now. 

He’s just… him with you. 

And that’s how he loves. He loves slow, but he loves with just… himself, his entire being. Even without a heart, he knew of love. He knew of you. 

reblogs and comments are highly appreciated!!<3

taglist on reblog!

[lanocheunvinde]

See you again,

Bada Lee x fem reader

Summary: After you both agree to part ways, your paths cross unexpectedly.

Cw: exes :(, angst (?).

Wc: 6k.

Pls read : I’ve decided to put all parts (1 2 & 3) into one single fic because it’s not that long. For the babes that already read the first 2 parts, before the beginning of every chapter I added numbers so I’d be easier for you to scroll to your desired chapter🤍

˚ ༘ ೀ⋆｡

(1)

''So, you're going to be back soon. Right?''

Soobin asked, her tone uneasy. Even tho you told her numerous times that you won't just disappear forever and once the leaves begin to fall and change colors you'll rock the streets of Seoul again. Until then, you'll fly as far as your wings take you. It's not like you did anything wrong. You decided to leave after all. 

''Wild, young & free'' as some would describe, as she would describe. Until you weren't free anymore, your thoughts kept you imprisoned in your mind. 

''Yeah girlie, you know how hard I worked to get in.'' 

For a long time, you've wondered what you're into—having an identity crisis every time you see her dancing with such passion. You admire her wholeheartedly, but you can't help feeling jealous since there wasn't anything there for you. Your mom took you to piano classes, swimming, and even judo. She tried her best to expand your horizons and you're grateful for that but it never really worked out. Until in your early teens, you discovered your burning passion for writing, having the power to control every reply, scene, or character you desire. It's like the alphabet was made for you just to write cheeky stories that she would giggle at. Words being placed thoughtfully in your love letters to her.

''I can't wait for you to get back home. I will get reallyyy mad if we don't go out drinking before uni." The younger girl giggled over the phone. But the word ''home'' stuck to you like a bandage. You're the type of person that considers ''home'' wherever the heart is but where is your home when your heart is all over the place? 

You're just lying to yourself. You know exactly where home is. Home was the queen-sized bed you once shared, with the messy sheets you were too lazy to arrange since you knew in less than 24 hours it would be the same. Home was the kitchen where you would fail yet another recipe trying to surprise her with a yummy meal after her dance class. Home was anywhere she was really. Too bad she’s so far away now. That doesn’t mean you’re homeless tho. Many tried to offer you a room in their hearts, but it just wasn’t the same. The best you could do was try. Going on dates, even being a fan of dating apps until you gave up. Her presence scarred you so deeply that you subconsciously compared every romantic interest to her, her jokes, her compliments, her touch, her way of being. 

“Did she get in?” the girl who once was your biggest relationship enthusiast asked, knowing how the story unfolded.

“How am I supposed to know? Is there any reason I would be interested? I haven’t spoken to her in months.” 

“Forget it, why are we even talking about her? Call me when you arrive. I’ll talk to Seoyoung and Taeyoung and maybe we can go out and have cheap drinks like we did back in the day!”

You had a happy childhood, loving parents and lots of friends and you even had a best friend since primary school! Funny how a best friend turns into someone you love and then into someone you don't know at all-isn't life funny? 

During the past two months, you traveled around Europe. Finding beautiful places that make you enjoy the moment, finding beautiful people, beautiful moments. Peace. Traveling was one of the things you truly enjoyed. She once promised you’d go to Lyon and Basilicata together. You ended up going by yourself. Maybe it was better this way. 

Even though you were surrounded by people there were still moments when you felt alone and rather than being sad, you tried to enjoy being by yourself and embrace the quiet. Your life was so noisy until it all just stopped. You just accepted it. 

The familiar streets make the corners of your mouth turn upright. The convenience store right around the corner from your childhood apartment, the sun shining brightly on your street, and the kids that just left school flooding the now-crowded street gave you a familiar feeling. Comfort. 

“You are so beautiful.” your mother said while embracing you tightly, clearly noticing the subtle changes in your looks. Your skin is now sun-kissed thanks to Sardinia beach, your hair is slightly shorter and darker since you couldn’t skip the hair salons in Paris, and your cheeks are more plump since you’re not the one to refuse a delicious dish. 

“You just came back and you are leaving again in a few days. If you don’t come to visit me on Sundays I won’t send you any food ever again!” your mom said sarcastically. Truth is, you would like to spend more time with her but now you’re too caught up with the new school year starting. 

You’re officially a student in creative writing & linguistics and even got accepted as #13. Your mother couldn’t help but brag to her friends about your success in joining such a prestigious university. She was shocked. She wasn’t aware you planned to join this university a long time ago, alongside her. 

“How’s Bada? Are you guys still mad? Is an 11 year old friendship worth throwing away?”

Bada was well acquainted with your mother. Sometimes you thought your mom loves her more than she loves you. Bada infiltrated in your life so well that it came as a surprise to everybody that the two best friends who held hands just stopped talking. No reason behind it. 

“You still haven’t told me what happened.”

“Mom please I just arrived home don’t make me wanna leave again” You came off as a bit harsh but Bada was a dead subject to you. At day you would pretend you never came across Bada Lee, at night you would remember the way her hands softly caressed your waist and how your lips perfectly fit hers. You cut her off exactly how your hair stylist cut your split ends in Paris. But hair always eventually grows back.

Your childhood bedroom became the center of your attention for the next seven days as you discovered many random things while packing for uni. Old textbooks from high school, many hair accessories, polaroids with her, some dried up hand cream. Small things that were core memories for you. Your room is being filled up with 2 types of carton boxes: to take & to throw.

Most of the items you decided to throw were just straight up trash, one of her baggy t-shirts that still had her scent on it being included. Some stuff you decided to keep was necessities, toiletries, some pictures you took together just in case you made up again, etc. She was already half out of your heart, the other half made sure your heart was beating rapidly only for her. Did she also throw out your stuff? Did she keep it?? 

Across the street, things were pretty much the same.  

“Make sure you eat well. Did you pack everything?”

Mrs. Lee made sure to check up on her daughter. She was indeed a very caring mother. 

The girl let out a loud sigh saying, “Yeah, I’ll check again before leaving. There's still plenty of time left." 

“You always do that honey, wait until the last minute. Go check it now! We won’t have time to add everything to the boxes in the morning!” said the older woman worriedly. 

She went back to her room. The framed picture on her desk watched her every move, constantly reminding her of what was. Something in her not being able to throw it away, it was already there for 2 years. But sometimes she did turn the photo upside down, usually when she had other women over.

 It was her 17th birthday. Your smiles were brighter than the flashlight itself, your cheeks flushed after so many shots your mother would destroy you for drinking. It was the night your relationship exploded. 

“Is it wrong that I really want to kiss you?” You asked quietly, embarrassed by how close she was, her body firmly pressing against yours.

“Why would it be?” she says flatly. 

As you take a deep breath, you think to yourself: ''Fuck it.'' It doesn't take long for your hands to reach her face. You lean in and kiss her, feeling her heart racing against yours. She melts into your arms, immersing herself in your arms as you explore each other's lips. You pull away and look into her eyes, feeling a connection deeper than anything you've ever felt before. You both smile, savoring the moment and knowing that this is the beginning of something new. The color of your lipstick now staining her lips and her mind. She runs her fingers over your lips feeling the warmth and softness of your skin, as she says softly: 

''This is how it's supposed to be."

 You lean in and kiss her again, this time with more passion and intensity until you have to pull away to catch your breath. That was the first of many makeouts in Bada's bedroom.

In the first place, you were just supposed to change your shirt since somehow a glass of champagne ended up on your clothes, and Bada one way or another managed to trap you in front of the closet. Shit happens.

That night the now dried shirt stuck to your skin, the idea of anything else instead of the girl in front of you being long forgotten. 

To be sincere, you always held the power to pull anything you wanted without really trying. And you pulled Bada Lee into a complete black hole that night. Unaware that your souls are tied so tightly that at one point they'll burst. And unfortunately, that happened faster than any of you anticipated. 

(2)

''You're Y/N, right?" the thrilled girl asked. She had a unique appearance. The mole on her nose easily distinguished her from a crowd you thought. Flashy nails, long hair, bright clothes, and a bubbly personality were the main characteristics of your new roommate.

''Yeah! It seems like we're stuck together for a while. And you are?''

''I'm Hyerim, I'm in the dance department! I love your outfit! Where did you get that cardigan? This color looks flattering on you!" she says rapidly with a wide smile.

You hit the jackpot for the first time in a long time. On your way to the dorm, your thoughts are filled with the idea of having a demon as a roommate. You had already created a scenario of what to do just in case the person you need to spend the whole school year with together is insufferable. Thankfully, that wasn't the case. For the next 2 hours, you and Hyerim had a blast, talking about anything & everything while unpacking. You both laughed and joked around, and you felt a sense of relief when you realized you wouldn't have to deal with a roommate who wasn't pleasant. You two got along great and you were excited to spend the next year together. You just clicked. As the first week of school passed you realized Hyerim was the hyperactive little sister you never had.

''There's this party next door, one of my friends invited me.'' Your new friend proposed as her eyes sparkled with excitement. ''Do you want to go with me? My friend will bring her girlfriend and I don't want to be the third wheel." The girl pouts.

''Sure, I feel like drinking anyway.'' You said chuckling. Back in the day, you attended every party you possibly could, earning admirable alcohol tolerance. You're making people take notice of you tonight since you have the whole pack to survive a frat party.

You and Hyerim took your time carefully arranging every rhinestone around your eyes. There was a heated debate about what lipstick color would look best with her charismatic outfit.

As you stepped into the party, vibrant energy engulfed the house. The music filled every corner, blending with the laughter and already sweaty bodies of many young adults. The dorm was a mess, filled with more alcoholic drinks than you can count. The smell of vanilla body spray and cheap cigarettes reeked in the living room. You genuinely wondered how so many people could fit into such a small apartment. As you scanned the room, you noticed a familiar face. You smiled and waved, and Soobin quickly made her way to you, giving you a warm embrace.

''So it seems like our drinking plan is finally happening." she laughed while scanning you up and down. ''Who are you trying to attract tonight Miss Martini? If I was into women you would've been my first choice.'' Soobin said while smirking.

Earlier while Hyerim went to touch up her makeup, you wandered to the kitchen where you found some unknown version of martini that was already half empty. You didn't care that the now-empty drink would be the cause of your headache tomorrow. All you wanted was to have fun. The alcohol helped you to keep your thoughts foggy. You grabbed one drink after another and gulped it down in one go. You felt a rush of warmth spreading through your body and you felt yourself becoming more confident and daring. You felt like you could take on the world. You danced and sang along with Soobin. You were living in the moment, without a care in the world. You were having the time of your life.

''Y/N I'VE SEARCHED FOR YOU EVERYWHERE!'' Hyerim screamed trying to make her voice louder than the music. The girl next to her looked dumbfounded. ''This is my friend Dohee. I've told you about her before! Her oreo girlfriend will arrive later so until then it's the four of us.'' She said while showing Soobin a big smile.

Meanwhile, Hyerim and Soobin were discussing a movie you've never heard of and your eyes couldn't stop traveling to Dohee's sour expression. It was such a shame, a beautiful girl frowning. Her red-coated luscious lips are paralyzed, the leather jacket accentuating her small figure so well. Whoever is making the alluring-looking women wait is a real loser, you think. But you're here, with her, right now, in the moment. Who can blame you for wanting to steal a smile from the girl's face?

''I guess your girlfriend is not coming hm?'' You asked quietly, trying not to make the girl explode. She looks like she could burst into crying any moment now. While asking her, you carefully put your arm around her shoulders.

''Yeah. She stood me up again." Dohee sighed then went on and told you how the girl whose appearance won't be seen tonight isn't actually her girlfriend but rather a friend with benefits she's too scared to admit she has feelings for. She told you the unknown woman told her she wasn't interested in any emotional relationship and she just had to accept it. You wondered if the cause of her being so open about this subject was the cup full of plain vodka or if she just was so desperate for someone to hear her out, to look into her soulful eyes and say ''I care''. Regardless of that, you were ready to be there for her even if it was for a short time.

''She's such a fool. I hope you're aware of that. Someone like you doesn't deserve to be treated like that, tossed around like a simple washcloth. Forget about her tonight. Things will get better like they always have.'' You told her while giving a genuine smile, slowly putting your hand on top of hers.

''You really mean that?'' She says smirking while looking at your hands that are now intertwined.

One conversation led to another, and you and Dohee ended up outside sharing a cigarette she pulled from her bra. Even tho you met only 3 hours ago the silence between you two wasn't awkward, but rather comforting. The moon shone down, illuminating your faces as you stood together. Dohee couldn't help but ask you:

"You look familiar. Are you sure our paths haven't crossed before?" Her expression grows nervous. She knew exactly where she saw you before but was too drunk and confused to link things.

''If I had seen you before I would've remembered, but besides that, I doubt I would've let you go." You respond confidently with a grin.

''I've told you so much about me and I don't really know anything about you.." She told you wistfully.

You went on and told her small details about you, such as your 2 month trip and your passion for writing. Nothing too significant but enough to be considered an acquaintance instead of a stranger. She took a moment and studied your face, admiring the eyes she was jealous of every time her romantic interest forgot to hide the picture on her desk. No wonder Bada kept your picture somewhere visible. You were too beautiful to not be looked at. Maybe that's why Bada hid the picture every time she came over, to not fall in love with you instead of her. At first, she envied you for looking so happy next to her. She envied the fact that Bada's smile looked genuine next to yours. Two stars standing next to each other so closely couldn't be any good she thought, unaware of the fact that you and Bada eventually collided, merging into an even brighter star than you currently are. Unfortunately, that star didn't survive long as it was pulled into a black hole, but it died gloriously in a tidal disruption event.

She smiled and gave you a warm look. She took your hand in hers and brought you closer, her touch sending a spark of electricity through your body. It's been a while since you kissed someone but you sure wouldn't mind her touch. When the gap between you closed, your cherry lips met her strawberry ones. Weird combination of flavors but it works. One bitter and the other one sweet.

Your hands shamelessly roam her body, not knowing in the distance that someone is enjoying this as much as you. Instead of focusing on the one she spent the last night with, her eyes are only focusing on your figure, observing the way you fiercely grab the other girl's hips pulling her even closer to you. It's been a while since she last saw you, especially like this but you still managed to make her freeze on the spot. For a moment Bada recalled a time when you simply kissed her. It wasn't something meaningful at all, just how your plump lips sat on hers. At the same time, it was amusing for her that you just kissed the girl she casually used to forget about the emotions she drowned in because of you. Following her heart always leads her to you.

Dohee pulled away when her phone suddenly rang, her face suddenly becoming bitter. You went inside to give her privacy. In the living room, you find Soobin and Hyerim ''dancing'' if it even can be called that, barely being capable of standing on their own feet. They quickly pull you into their little dancing circle forcing you to dance with them. There was no choice other than to give in and take pictures to have a good laugh later on. The laughter didn't last long as Dohee came in with the tall, 2 colored hair woman holding hands.

''What the fuck..'' Soobin whispered to you while catching a glimpse of Bada.

You were drunk but not drunk enough to not notice Bada and her changed appearance. The once blue hair you encouraged her to dye was gone, now weirdly but cutely resembling an oreo and one thing about oreos is that you couldn't resist them, being ideal for your picky taste buds. The not overly sweet cookie fits your dessert criteria perfectly, just like you and Bada's hands fit each other perfectly but that was long forgotten.

''There they are! Let's play spin the bottle now!" Hyerim exclaimed while sending Dohee a wink. It was obvious she was trying to make her friend happy and maybe give her the chance to kiss the girl she spent sleepless nights crying over. However, Hyerim wouldn't let her teenagey thoughts win if she knew the way Bada used to smile at you, nevertheless, it was too late for that because you and a few other people gathered in a circle.

Hyerim went over the ''rules'' quickly, saying if you don't want to kiss the other person you have to take a shot of whatever alcohol was left. Everyone agreed, eagerly to kiss one another or just drink some more. In the first round, the bottle landed on Hyerim and Soobin. They shared a peck playfully without any hesitation. You were up next, the cap of the bottle stopped between Bada and Dohee, the in-love girl clearly not thinking it through because she was too excited to be staying so close to the woman next to her, obviously they won't kiss at all since they aren't sitting on the opposite of each other.

''Okay Y/N who are you gonna kiss??" Hyerim said full of curiosity, a little afraid of the decision you have to make.

''You don't have to kiss anyone Y/N. It's just a stupid game.'' Soobin babbled.

''Dohee.'' You said firmly while looking straight into her eyes. She couldn't handle all the eyes on her, especially yours and Bada's so her view dropped to the bottle in front of her.

''I-'' Dohee gasped trying to form a sentence unsuccessfully, not only because of her drunken state and emotions but because another voice chimed in.

"Kiss her." Bada assented. "It's not like you haven't kissed her before. Kiss her." She repeated smirking while your eyes locked. You won't lie, the multi-colored hair really fits her, just as she thought about how well the rhinestones make your eyes pop.

You grabbed Dohee's face and kissed her. Now you'd blame it on the martini but you specifically bit her lip just right in order to earn a moan from her and a sneer from Bada.

''I'm so calling Taeyoung right now..'' Soobin mumbled trying to remember her passcode in order to call your friend to tell her the shit show she just missed.

(3)

The atmosphere in the room was thick with tension and unspoken words, especially between you, Dohee, and Bada. The game of spinning the bottle continued, but your mind was elsewhere, replaying the moment your lips met Dohee's and the mixed emotions that flashed across Bada's face.

After a few more rounds and a couple of awkward kisses, the game fizzled out, the participants either too drunk or too distracted by their own thoughts. Hyerim, with her ever-bubbling energy, suggested a change in activity, but the mood had shifted. The party was winding down, people were starting to leave or find a spot to crash for the night.

You decided to step outside for a breath of fresh air, the stuffiness of the room becoming too much. As you leaned against the railing of the small balcony, you felt the cool night air brush against your skin, sobering you up a bit. Your thoughts were a jumbled mess, images of Dohee's surprised face and Bada's unreadable expression swirling in your mind.

"Mind if I join you?" a voice asked from behind. You turned to see Bada stepping out onto the balcony, closing the door behind her. The noise from the party became a dull murmur, giving you both a semblance of privacy.

"I wasn't expecting you to be here tonight." you said, trying to keep your voice steady.

Bada leaned against the railing beside you, looking out into the night. "I could say the same about you." she replied. "Seems like we both can't escape each other's orbit, no matter how hard we try. Every time I forget about us you hunt me down." She giggled, earning a chuckle from you.

The silence that followed was heavy, laden with unspoken words and memories of a past relationship that had ended in a whirlwind of emotions. You both knew that whatever had been between you was in the past, yet the remnants of those feelings still lingered.

As the moon cast a shimmering glow on the sandy beach, Bada and you found yourselves walking hand in hand along the shoreline. The sound of crashing waves provided a soothing soundtrack to the unspoken connection between you. With each step, the love between you became replaced by a renewed sense of fear. It might be time to stop swimming into the Sea, maybe it's time to dry yourself off from the sticky saltwater that's been on your skin for so long that it started cracking. As your wounds started to deepen the saltwater couldn't be any good. The stinging sensation was trying to catch your attention, to alarm you that something was wrong but to no avail. You kept swimming and swimming until you couldn't see the shore anymore. That's when you realized you had got lost. In your next life maybe you'll be a fish, that way you and the Sea wouldn't hurt each other. In the one after that maybe you'll be a dog, sleeping at the foot of your owner's bed if it means you get to be on it. You will be just like how she loves you. You will continue to be patient, just as you were in this lifetime. Maybe in another life if it couldn't be in this one.

''I didn't think we'd grow apart so soon.'' Bada's husky voice made goosebumps spread all over your body as her face was now close to your ear, back hugging you. ''You're the first person who made me feel something. I'll forever cherish the moments I had with you.''  As Bada's whispered words reached your ear, a bittersweet mixture of longing and nostalgia flooded your heart. In that moment, you couldn't help but feel a pang of regret for the lost connection, yet also a deep appreciation for the love that had once blossomed between you.

''I knew you were going to leave me but it still hurts.'' Your breathy words managed to escape your throat.

''Thank you for letting me go Y/n because I would not have walked away.'' The emotions of longing and nostalgia washed over you like a tidal wave, reminding you of the way your soul intertwined with Bada's. Each memory, each stolen glance and each word you shared replayed in your mind, leaving you yearning for the future that slowly drifts away, as easy as it comes and as easy as it goes.

Bada hugged you one last time, her arms embracing you so hard that her scent lingered on your shirt-and that was the last thing she ever offered you.

"Why did you tell Dohee to kiss me?" you finally asked, breaking the silence.

Bada turned to look at you, her eyes reflecting a mix of emotions. "Because I know you, Y/n. I know that even if you're trying to move on, a part of you is still stuck in the past. With me. I don't want it to be that way."

You swallowed hard, the truth in her words stinging. "And what about you, Bada? Are you stuck in the past too?"

She hesitated, then let out the answer you already knew. "Maybe. Maybe part of me never really left our bed. But I also know that we can't go back. Too much has happened. And that's okay."

''There was a time when I thought I'd know you forever.'' your reply seemed to suck any thought Bada even had in the first place, leaving her speechless.

Finally, Bada spoke up again. "Look, Y/n, I don't know what the future holds for us, whether we're meant to be in each other's lives or not. But I do know that I want you to be happy, even if it's not with me."

Her words were sincere, and you felt a warm sensation in your chest, a feeling that maybe it was time to truly let go and move forward.

"Thank you, Bada," you said softly. "I want the same for you."

''Is this our goodbye?'' You dared to ask.

"You know I don't believe in goodbyes."

With those final words, you both shared a smile, acknowledging the end of a long and tangled chapter and the beginning of another. As you went back inside, leaving Bada alone with her thoughts, you realized that the night had brought more than just a party; it had brought a sense of closure you never got on the night when you and the Sea decided your love was too powerful so it might cause a tsunami. You felt a sense of uncertainty about what the future held, hoping that somehow she'd be at the end of your path.

That night was the last time you ever saw Bada Lee up close. Your eyes involuntary checked her instagram profile every once in a while or if you were lucky sometimes you'd spot her around uni, your sight being glued to her; your burning stare was never enough to make her turn around tho but still, you couldn't help yourself but think maybe, just maybe, there was a chance for something new to grow from the ashes of the past. Until you dropped that idea because you realized:

one fish would never be big enough to fill the whole Sea.

[sweetandscarlet]

unrequited love | pt 3

notes: after much waited anticipation, the 3rd part is finally here 🤠 enjoy lovelies <3 pt 1 & 2 if you haven’t read them :)

warnings: 18+, smut, stepmom!wanda, stepdaughter!reader, age gap, mommy kink, mentions of masturbation, reader having major mommy issues, slight fluff/angst, cunnulingus, strap on use, fingering, hair pulling, dirty talk, degradation, blow jobs. minors DNI!

words: 6.6k

to say the past few days had been intense was an understatement.

ever since your dad came home earlier than expected, you and wanda had become slightly estranged. the distance made your heart clench with worry and neglect, but, if you were being dramatically honest with yourself, you knew deep down the reason was that it had probably thrown wanda a little bit (or maybe a lot) to see him, given the circumstances you two were in.

albeit, scarcely hurt, you tried not to take it to heart too much. instead, you hurled yourself into uni work as a distraction. anything to take your mind off of the fact that you and wanda were mere seconds away from teetering over the edge and crossing a boundary that you could never undo.

"darling! what're you doing home so early?" wanda called out, still frozen in place on the staircase. her body reluctant to turn around and descend back down to greet her husband.

she watched as you silently stepped out of the doorway and into the hallway, and as much as it hurt to see the look of disappointment and panic written all over your face, she was just relieved that you hadn't actually done anything. the redhead could never live with herself if you had both been caught in her husbands and hers shared bed.

"i'm so sorry, detka" the sokovian whispered, her hand reaching out just a few inches before deciding she should just leave it and go welcome her husband as a good wife should. "we'll talk later, just- let me handle this"

you in fact did not talk later. ever since your father returned, wanda hadn't had a minute to herself, let alone any time to speak about what you both did, or almost did. she now had to return to her role of the attentive wife and cater to his needs, not her own.

but, to say you were an impatient person, in your opinion; you were dealing with the situation pretty well. after practically flinging yourself into uni work and even asking your professor if they had anything extra you could work on, you decided it would probably be best if you went for a walk to clear your head.

so that is exactly what you did, you showered, got dressed and headed downstairs. you didn't bother telling anyone where you were going, instead just opting to leave out of the front door and tell your father and wanda where you had been when you would inevitably see them at dinner time.

after around twenty minutes of mindless strolling around the block and eventually settling on a park bench, you felt a buzz in your back pocket.

guilt fluttered in your chest at the thought of it being kate, knowing full well you had hardly spoken to her the past couple of days and that she was probably messaging you, understandably worried at the space between you two.

when you pulled your phone out of your jean pocket, your heart did backflips as you looked at the screen.

wanda: hey, where did you go? are you okay?

you chewed on your bottom lip upon reading the message. how on earth could you respond to that? of course you aren't okay, you were upset and riddled with shame and treachery. you had done the one thing you had forced yourself to never act on. months of battling with a part of your brain that told you to just go for it, even if it would change the trajectory of your life. all for it to change in the blink of an eye.

you: hey, i'm just on a walk. i'm fine, how are you?

you shouldn't lie, you should just be honest, but the nagging feeling of not doing that over text lingered greatly in your mind.

you: actually, i'm not. can we talk? i miss you.

wanda: i'm sorry this is happening. i miss you too, come home, malysh. let's talk.

butterflies fluttered deep in your chest, eventually making their way to your stomach and settling there. i miss you too.

you instantly rushed a reply that you would be back soon before shoving your phone into the pocket it resided in and walking out of the park, and back to your house. every single feeling you could possibly feel hit you as you walked. questions running through your mind like an emotional marathon about how the conversation would go between you two.

ᗢ

"wanda?" you called out, closing your front door behind you as you stepped into the house. as you kicked your shoes off, a tired and almost dishevelled redhead walked through the kitchen door, letting it swing behind her before coming to a halt.

wanda stepped closer to you, a small smile on her lips seemingly growing as you came closer into her view before eventually, she closed the gap and your bodies were pressed together; perfectly might you add.

before you could ask what she was doing, wanda's hand snaked around the back of your neck and pulled you in for a kiss. you could feel the want and desperation radiate into it as you kissed her back, your hands falling to her hips and tugging her impossibly closer to you.

when you both pulled away to breathe, wanda's hand trailed from your neck, cupping one of your now-flushed cheeks. "you have no idea how badly i've wanted to do that these past few days"

your mind reeled at that, knowing that she wanted you just as much as you did. "me too," you breathed out, your chest rising and falling as you spoke. "i couldn't even touch myself at night because all i wanted were your hands on me"

"fuck, i-" the sokovian choked out, the grip on your cheek hardening slightly at the thought. "you can't say things like that"

"it’s true," you feigned a pout, your hands on her hips moving down to cup her ass through her jeans. "you left me dripping wet the other day and even then i couldn't do anything about it"

wanda trapped her bottom lip between her teeth to suppress a moan at your words. "you're a fucking tease, you know that?" your attempt to bite back a grin failed and wanda's eyebrows furrowed in frustration. "and you're also lucky i’m not going to slap that smirk off of your face right now, now come on, i made you a snack and then you and i are going to talk as promised"

you nodded, whispering a thank you as you pushed the gnawing ache for wanda into the back of your mind. you followed her through the swinging door and into the kitchen, your steps behind her small as you followed her like a puppy.

"how have you been?" you asked meekly, pulling one of the dining table chairs back to sit on it. "did you sleep well last night?"

wanda hummed in thought for a moment, her attention focused on the countertop on which two plates rested. you smiled as she turned around, your sight landing on the food that was perfectly prepared and smelled utterly sensational. it truly amazed you how good of a cook she was.

"i've been okay, albeit slightly whiplashed to see your father coming home that night" wanda confessed, before setting down the plates in front of you and then in front of where wanda would be sitting. "do you want juice?"

"um, sure! thank you" you reach a tender hand out, running your fingers down the arm of her sweater. "i wish that didn't happen, but i guess the silver lining is he didn't catch us on the sofa"

the redhead's eyes trail down to where your hand resided on her arm, wanting so desperately for the material to be out of the way and to feel your hands on her skin once more. "i guess you're right, that would be a hard one to explain"

a chuckle escapes your lips, watching as wanda moves away from your touch and over to the refrigerator to pull out the jug of juice before stepping over to one of the cupboards to pull out two glasses.

"do you regret it?"

the question had been lingering on the tip of your tongue ever since you woke up the morning after. you wouldn't admit it but it ate away at you bit by bit the more the days passed, all you wanted to know now was where you stood with the older woman.

wanda remained facing away from you, her hand shifting to rest on the countertop in front of her. you listen as a shaky exhale leaves her plump lips, the sound making anticipation bob in the middle of your throat. she didn't regret it, right?

"i don't, malysh," she spoke aloud, thick red locks and her back were still all you could see. "i never will"

"then why can't you say that while you look at me?"

wanda picks up the glasses from the counter before slowly turning to face you. your heart skipped a beat as you watch her nervously chew at her bottom lip. you don't think you've ever seen this woman nervous, always keeping her emotions at bay and never wearing her heart on her sleeve.

"we're both with someone, y/n. god, i'm married and you're-"

"in an unhappy relationship, which is clearly how you feel or you wouldn't have reciprocated"

wanda sighs, stepping towards the table before positioning the glasses in front of your selected seats.

"i know, i know. it's just- it's a lot more complicated for me, i made a vow and i just hate myself for breaking it. i never would have dreamed to cheat on my spouse, let alone it being with their daughter"

your head falls and all you can do at this moment is let indignity and guilt plague your mind like a disease. you stare at your food numbingly, watching as it slowly grows cold. but, you can't eat right now. you can't. the only thought running through your head is of the woman standing in front of you.

"if i could change the way i feel i would, it would make life so much simpler but i can't wanda, i want you" you push the chair away with the back of your legs before striding over to where wanda stood, your hands instantly moving to cup her slightly tinted pink cheeks. "no one's ever made me feel the way you do, and i owe it to myself to at least try and see where this could go between us"

the redhead sighs against your touch, nuzzling herself into one of your hands, basking in the warmth they bring. "detka.."

"don't say anything, just.. let me take care of you"

wanda's head moves in your hands as she nods, and that's all the permission you need to close the distance between you. the moment your lips touch one more, a small groan of appreciation rumbles in the back of your throat, the days that had passed without her soft lips against yours were agonising but god was the wait worth it.

you pull away slightly, your lips ghostly over hers. "where's dad?"

wanda catches your gaze when her eyelids flicker open and she bites back a whimper at seeing your now blown-out pupils. a clear-cut sign of how badly you want her. "he went fishing with one of his work colleagues, he won't be home for a while"

a smirk twitches at your lips, curling just vaguely at the corners. you hum in thought before responding. "i've been very good lately, i was so patient waiting for you mommy, i think i deserve dessert first, don't you?"

"fuck, please" wanda whimpered out, nodding eagerly; her hips bucking at the way the title rolled off of your tongue, so delicious and sweet coming from your lips. she wanted- no needed to hear you say it again. "you have no idea the number of times i've dreamt of sitting on your face, squeezing you between my thighs and all you can do is just lie there and eat my pussy like a good girl"

a guttural moan escaped your throat, your hands faltering from her face before deciding to rest them on her hips, gripping slightly.

wanda took this opportunity to lean forward and let her warm tongue run against the delicate skin of your neck, before leaving an open mouthed kiss against your pulse point. the feeling of that combined with the filthy words wanda spewed out, sent a jolt of pleasure to your clit.

"come with me darling," wanda beckoned, stepping backwards as she tugs at your arm to pull you through the kitchen door, past the back of the sofa and up the staircase. "i've waited too long for this moment"

the pace in her footsteps confirmed it as they moved with certainty and purpose, her hand instantly turned the doorknob when you reached her room, and she yanked you inside before kicking the door shut with the back of her heel.

"go sit down on the bed, detka," wanda purrs, "mommy's going to give you what you deserve"

you hear a click of a lock turning behind you as you faced the large bed, your legs working on autopilot as you reached the edge of the mattress, sitting down instantly. your clothed thighs rubbed together on their own accord, trying so desperately to satiate the evergrowing feeling of uncomfortableness that twitched and pulsed between your thighs.

wanda hummed in approval as she sauntered over to the bed, seeing you sit so obediently for her increased the fire that sparked in the pit of her stomach. "so pliable for me, darling. now, do you want to watch me undress or do it yourself?"

you shook your head immediately, your hands already moving to reach out for her. "please, can- can i? i've thought about doing this myself so many times"

a wide grin creeps it's way onto wanda's face, twitching at the corner of her lips at your reaction. "go ahead then, sweet girl"

you didn't have to be told twice as you surged upwards and off the edge of the mattress, your eyes flickering up to the redheads before letting your hands rest on her hips; your fingers fidgetted with the hem of her sweater as anticipation swirled in your mind.

you lifted the material upwards, letting wanda raise her arms to help assist you in pulling it over her head. once you did, your felt your mouth dry up at the sight of wanda in a red lacey bra, her full breasts sitting perfectly on display. fuck, you wanted nothing more than to rid her of it and claim your mouth around one of her nipples.

"can i?" you asked, your voice small as your eyes stayed trained on her chest.

all wanda could do was nod in response, her mind too occupied with the sight of your eyes darkening as you watched her intently.

you stepped closer, your arms reaching around to find the clasp of the bra. your head dropped slightly, just enough for you to pepper wet kisses along the curve of her breasts. you let your mouth work on the exposed skin, your tongue swirling and sucking at it until you were satisfied. once you were, you pulled at the clasp, unhooking it instantaneously.

"you're so beautiful" you mused, your words coming out almost a whisper when you let the bra fall down wanda's arms and drop to the floor. "so, so beautiful"

you thought the urge to continue pressing your lips against her soft skin, instead opting to do as you were told. undress her.

you felt the soft carpeted floor under your kneecaps as you bent down to kneel before her. your eyes now aligned with curved hips and thick thighs that you wanted so badly to touch.

a thought echoed briefly in your mind that every single dream you've had of pleasing wanda was finally about to come true.

letting the fleeting realisation pass by in your mind, you focused your attention on working the button of wanda's jeans, your hand trailing down to pull at the zipper. an audible groan escaped your lips at the patch of matching panties that peeked through the opening of the jeans.

you had no idea what wanda was doing right now but if you had to guess, a smirk was displayed proudly on her lips at your reaction.

your hands smoothed up the side of her hips before hooking your fingers through the hoops of the jeans, pulling them down until they pooled at the redhead's feet.

wanda watched as your hand wrapped around the back of her calf, lifting it just an inch until her foot raised from the floor and you could easily pull her foot through the bunched-up jeans. you repeated this with the other foot until wanda stood before you with nothing but her underwear.

you couldn't help but move forward at the sight, your mouth displaying open-mouthed kisses on the soft smooth skin of her thighs.

"ah, ah, ah," wanda tutted, one of her hands threading through your hair at the back of your head until she gathered enough in her fingers to give it a harsh tug. "god, so eager to please mommy, you're adorable"

your head bobbed up and down, vigorously agreeing with her. "yes, i- please, i want to make you feel good"

"i know, detka and you will," wanda husked, her voice now much deeper and laced with lust at the sight of you on your knees for her, head lolled back in her grip as you pleaded up at her with blown-out eyes. "get back on the bed and lie down"

you scrambled from your knees when wanda let go of her grip, pushing yourself up from your position on the floor. you didn't even look as you jumped back enthusiastically, once again landing on the edge of the mattress before shuffling backwards until you were on display for the older woman in the middle of the bed. you let yourself fall, your eyes now staring up at the blank ceiling as the soft comforter rested under your back.

"good girl," wanda uttered, stepping towards you until you felt a dip in the mattress. "i can't wait to use that pretty mouth of yours"

wanded shifted into view, her lustful eyes staring down at you as she straddled your lap, the action made you squirm under her gaze but the older woman didn't stay there long, her intentions residing much higher up your body.

she moved once more until her figure rested above your head, your eyes being greeted with lacy red panties and a wet patch that made you gulp hard and your mouth to instantly water at the sight of her arousal.

the scent consumed all of your senses as the strong desire for you was prominent between wanda's legs. you inhaled through your nose, wanting so badly to greedily take in everything wanda had to offer you.

a sinister chuckle came from above, the delicious sound invading your ears. "did you just smell mommy's pussy? such a dirty girl"

a whine rumbled at the back of your throat, effectively answering for you. but, before you could shamefully deny such a thing, wanda's slender fingers pulled her panties to the side; giving you the perfect view of her wet and ready for you. "stick out your tongue, little one"

without so much as a thought, you immediately obeyed, and soon after a moan followed as you felt wanda lower herself fully until she rested on the flat of your tongue. the taste of her intensified the fire growing in your belly and you made quick work to lap desperately through her folds.

"i knew you'd be great at this, detka," wanda mewled, her hips jutting back and forth in an attempt to match your pace. "such a good slut"

heavy pants and breathy moans echoed throughout the room, bouncing off each wall before eventually coming back to you and imprinting themselves deep in your brain as they reverberated loudly in your ears. you continued to swirl your tongue through her folds, inching itself closer to where you so hopelessly wanted to put your fingers. you teased her hole slightly before retreating upwards, flicking your muscle over her swollen clit before engulfing it between your lips to gently suck at the bundle of nerves.

"svyatoy yebat', just like that" you felt the older woman's legs vibrate around your head, her hands flying to your hair to grip it tightly and force your head to stay where it was. "shit, you're going to make me cum already"

oxygen was beginning to creep its way less and less into your brain, the need to breathe was resonating loudly in your mind but, you didn't care. the only thing you wanted to do right now was to watch wanda fall apart above you and to hear her moan your name.

you continued to suck, your tongue moving to swirl around to give her just that extra bit of stimulation that would effectively push her over the edge.

"such a good girl for me- fuck, mommy's cumming, mommy's cumming" her words left her mouth in a breathy chant, her hands tightening in your hair as she gasped loudly and before you knew it, wanda stilled above you and her thighs squeezed around your head, trapping you beneath her.

a strangled cry escaped wanda. "shit, shit- don't stop, yn, don't stop"

you continued your torturous pace on her clit, your efforts never faltering as the older woman whined and whimpered through her orgasm. your eyes stayed trained on her, your gaze never breaking contact so you could watch every single reaction and noise that came from above.

after a few moments passed, wanda's body ceased from her tense position; her body slowly starting to relax as she came down from her high and her pants grew more even.

pride beamed brightly in your chest as you slowed your movements before eventually halting them so as to not overstimulate her. the thought of you pleasing your stepmother this much brought you so much joy and satisfaction. you would do it every day if you could, for as long as she wanted, even if your tongue ached and your body grew tired.

"oh malysh, that was... i don't think i've ever cum so hard" wanda exhaled, her hands in your hair loosening its grip as she shifted to move from your face. a soft laugh fell from wanda's lips as she looked at your appearance, your hair was dishevelled and wanda's cum had left your lips, chin and cheeks sopping wet. "god, i've made a mess of you"

you instinctively licked away what you could, smiling at the taste that resonated on your tongue. it took everything in you to not cockily remark on what wanda had just said, instead, you pushed the thought in the back of your mind, keeping it there as a reminder of how good you are for her. "you taste so good"

"i bet you taste even better, detka" wanda mused, her thumb coming to your cheek to wipe away any excess that you had failed to lick away, before switching to the other one. they felt hot under her touch, your cheeks flushed pink and radiating warmth that made the older woman's heart jump. "i can imagine you're all sticky down there, want me to make you feel better?"

you nodded your head enthusiastically, whimpering out a 'yes' before moving to rest your upper body weight on your elbows. "want you so bad"

wanda just hummed in response, the bed dipping once more before the mattress raised again and she was no longer next to you. you watched tentatively as she moved over to the mirrored closet in front of you, pulling on one of the sliding doors before kneeling down to root inside. she instructed you to strip down to your naked form and stay on the bed, you obliged as you made quick work of it and instantly rid yourself of all that you wore before hastily chucking them into a pile across the room.

you were about to question what she was doing until wanda spoke. "hmm, here it is. i must be honest with you detka, my intentions to have you have been stronger than you think. when we were at the mall, i slipped away while you were at the bathroom and bought this"

she stood from her position, turning to face you with a grin splayed on plump, pink lips. "i was hoping one day i could use it on you.. i'm glad it's sooner rather than later"

your curious eyes drifted down and you couldn't help but gulp at what you saw.

in one hand was a scarlet red dildo that was generous in size, and in the other was a black harness.

"would you like to try it?"

you eyed the toy and the harness before meeting wanda's predatory gaze. there was fleeting silence for a split second as you settled yourself on your tucked legs, resting your weight on them to sit up straight. "yes please, i want you to do whatever you want to me"

"your manners are endearing, y/n. any specific position in mind?"

"i-" you trailed off, god what didn't you have in mind? you would gladly have her put you in whatever position suited the redhead best, whatever would appease her hunger for you. but, as your eyes faltered slightly to your reflection in the mirrored doors in front of you, your brain screamed to tell her what you had in mind. "i want.. i want you to take me from behind and for you to make me watch"

confusion spread across the redhead's face for just a moment, until it clicked in her brain and she turned to her right, your reflection and hers staring back at her. "my my, you dirty girl. i love how your brain works"

wanda stalked towards the bed, before coming to a halt as she reached the edge of the mattress. you watched in awe as she slipped into the harness, adjusting the straps so they were secured snugly against her hips and thighs before attaching the dildo to the rubber ring in the middle of the harness.

"are you going to get mommy's cock all nice and ready for your pretty pussy, baby?"

you nod eagerly, shifting forward on your knees until you reached the end of the bed and wanda and her toy were directly in front of you. your mouth salivated at the sight before you; your stepmother with a thick cock strapped to her waist towering over you. to think less than an hour before, you were taking a stroll outside to help clear your mind of wanda and now here you were, about to take her in your mouth until she deemed it good enough for her to fill you up.

"are you ready, sweetheart?" wanda purred, a delicate hand threading through your locks before scratching softly at the skin, her enchanting way of soothing you. "don't be afraid to get sloppy, i want to see you drooling for me, dear"

fucking hell.

"yes, yes i- i'm so ready, please mama"

the older woman felt her heartstrings tug at the new nickname. such a good girl, she didn't even have to coax it out of you. so obedient and perfect, just like she knew you would be.

"open your mouth and stick out that talented tongue of yours, moya lyubov”

you did as instructed instantly as your jaw slackened and your tongue fell loosely to hang over your bottom lip. this caused wanda to chuckle darkly at the way you obeyed so quickly; so eager to please.

she wasted no time as she guided your head forward with the palm of her hand that rested in your hair, her grip tightening just slightly to control your movements.

a twang of pleasure contorted in your stomach as wanda coached you closer until the tip of the dildo rested on the flat of your tongue. you groaned around the head of it as it pushed further into the warmth of your mouth and a couple of inches of it disappeared inside.

"well done baby, taking me so well, just like i knew you would" wanda's voice was raspy and low as she spoke, her gaze never stuttering from the view of you below her. she watched in awe as you greedily took everything she gave you and it took everything in her not to snap her hips forward until she eventually reached the back of your throat.

a muffled moan vibrated around the fake cock as wanda's praises hit your ears, her words stirring you on to take more of her even if your mouth constricted it.

"take deep breaths, my love, you're doing amazing." her words of encouragement filled the silence of the room as more of her filled your mouth. "nice and slow"

you gagged slightly as you felt the tip of her eventually reach the back of your throat and your lips came into contact with the soft skin of her stomach, but you did as wanda said, taking in deep breaths through your nose as she stood still, letting you get used to the intrusive feeling.

finally, after a few moments passed, your throat relaxed around her. wanda hummed in approval at how well you were doing, her fingers continuing their delicate scratches against your scalp.

"atta girl, now start sucking detka, i'll do the rest"

you suctioned your lips around the dildo upon request, and your tongue that rested under it swirled around experimentally even though you knew wanda couldn't feel it. but, nevertheless, that wouldn't stop you from putting in the effort.

wanda's hand ceased its peaceful movements against your head, quickly turning harsh in her hold as she began to move your head up and down, guiding it to meet the pace of her hips when she started to thrust gradually into your mouth.

you mewled around her, your mouth filling with saliva that soon crept its way into the corner of your lips, begging for a way out.

"god, malysh.. you look so pretty like this, taking me so well. it's like you were born to be mommy's cock slut"

a wanton groan rumbled deep from your chest, humiliation mixed with pleasure settled there as your eyes flicked upwards, instantly being greeted with wanda staring down at you; admiration strongly apparent in her gaze.

after a few more wet thrusts, wanda slowly pulled out of your mouth leaving you gasping for much-needed oxygen, your chest rising as your laboured breathing calmed with every intake. she was clearly impressed and evidently happy with your work, the dildo that was attached to her was dripping with your saliva, the coating slick and soaking wet that shined from the aluminated lamp on the bedside table next to you.

wanda didn't utter a word as she rounded the bed, a delicate hand smoothing down your back and over the curve of your ass. when she reached the other side, you felt the bed dip. your head shot up to see wanda behind you, a smirk on her lips as she watched you catch your breath.

slender fingers trailed from your ass and down to where you so desperately needed her the most. she moved the tips over to the inside of your soft thighs before eventually teasing your outer lips which were now puffy and wet. "oh my, y/n, you're absolutely soaked. is all of this for me?"

as quickly as you got your breath back, it was just as quickly taken away from you when wanda traced her fingers through your folds, parting them with two fingers before moving them up and down. you choked out a moan when they retreated away from your swollen clit and down to your hole, pushing them in inch by inch.

"all for you, fuck- that feels so good"

wanda hummed pulling out slightly to push a third digit in, "look at you sucking in my fingers like a good girl, is this how badly you've wanted me, detka?

you cry out a strangled 'yes' at the stretch until eventually, wanda's knuckles pressed flush against your lips, your eyes falling shut at the feeling. "all i think about is you using me like a toy, just for your own pleasure"

the redhead's fingers moved at a languished pace, letting you grow used to the intrusion even though her fingers slipped inside you with ease. "eyes on me, sweetheart, i want you to focus on mommy only"

you heeded immediately, your eyelids flickering open the moment the words left wanda's lips.

"i think you're ready for my cock now, don't you?"

your mouth fell open in a gasp as soon as the older woman retreated her fingers. you groaned at the empty feeling, your walls contracting around nothing, just begging to be filled again.

"yes, please, i want it so badly mommy"

wanda wasted no time as the hand that had just been inside of you seconds before moved to wrap around the girth of her strap-on, spreading your wetness onto the length of it and mixing it with your saliva. "don't forget, dorogoy, if you want me to stop, i will"

you nodded desperately in response, your mind relishing the feeling of the way your body buzzed with anticipation. "okay"

that was all the permission wanda needed before using her hand to guide the dildo towards your sopping folds, running it up and down your slit to collect all of the wetness that she could. wanda gingerly pushed her hips forward, your lips parting as she continued her movement.

your eyes clamped shut as you felt the tip of the faux-cock push its way inside, but wanda's words boomed loudly in your mind, so you forced yourself to open them and keep your gaze focused on the reflection of wanda.

your heart stuttered in your chest at the sight.

to see the woman you had been lusting over for the past few months knelt behind you, her cock pushing through your velvety walls with her mouth dropped open in an 'o' shape was mind-whirling, to say the least.

it made you shudder at the thought.

"you're doing so well, baby, just a little more"

all you could do was bob your head in response. it wasn't long before wanda had pushed in the entire length and her stomach pressed flush against the back of your thighs. although your cunt stayed a soaking mess, it burned at the feeling of being so full. you don't think you've ever taken anything so big before, the thought only intensified the sensation even more.

"it's okay, angel, you'll get used to it," wanda cooed, raising both hands to grasp at your hips to keep you steady, "just breath through the pain, it'll start feeling good soon"

just as promised, after a few brief moments passed, your walls fluttered and a spark of pleasure formed in the pit of your stomach.

you instinctively moved your hips forward just slightly before pushing back, your mind reeling as you tested the waters before eventually picking up the pace.

"seems like you're ready," wanda remarked, sarcasm dripping from her words with a smirk creeping at the corner of her lips as she watched as you began to gradually ride the dildo. "now let mommy do all the work, all you have to do is stay there and look pretty while mommy uses your cute little cunt”

you whined at her words, the way she spoke to you made your brain turn to pathetic mush as submission and humiliation settled deep in the crevasses and as good as it felt, you did as instructed and halted your movements.

the moment you did, wanda slowly pulled out before she gave a sharp snap of her hips, burying the dildo deep inside of you. the action caused your arms that propped you up to buckle from under you, and your head to fall to the mattress.

“ah ah, this is your fantasy, my love. get back up” wanda voiced, a hand snaking up the smooth of your back, then to your neck, her fingers wrapping around your jugular before lifting you back up until your back pressed flush against her chest.

the redhead continued her torturous pace, her thighs slapping against the back of yours harshly with every thrust, and all you could do was stare back at yourself and watch. when wanda rounded her other hand around you so both of her hands were wrapped firmly around your neck, that's when you lost it.

"fuck, fuck," a strangled moan fell from your swollen kissed lips, your breath growing more ragged the rougher wanda got with you. "right there"

a smirk itched at wanda's lips as she watched from behind you, her mind and body putting in all the effort as she rutted into you, all the while holding you upright. one of her hands tightened its hold on your neck as she let the other one fall to where your breasts were, she trailed her hand down before grabbing a handful and kneading and squeezing it roughly a few times until her hand moved to pinch the nipple between two fingers.

"i want you to cum just like this malysh, tell me when you're close, okay?" wanda's voice was hoarse, her accent coming out slightly as she panted in your ear.

all you could do was nod your head, your mind too foggy to come up with the words to respond. you moved your hand up to your body until you met wanda's, cupping the back of it in an attempt to feel her.

"look at how pretty you look, y/n. such a good girl for me, i can see how much you're fucking loving this," wanda uttered against the shell of your ear, her tongue flicking out to lick a stripe against your neck before suctioning her lips around your skin to suck harshly, her teeth nibbling slightly against your flushed skin. "i bet you'd love it if my cock was real, so i could fill up your abused little pussy with my cum"

the words that left wanda's mouth, in a dark and husky hiss, echoed loudly in your ear as every thrust of wanda's hips that fucked upwards hit against your g-spot, it was quickly beginning to make that tightness in the pit of your stomach grow.

your moans grew louder, your chest heaving as you gasped for oxygen that was being fucked out of you with every movement that wanda made. you whined out as wanda continued to pinch your nipple, twisting and pulling it as she squeezed harder around your neck.

it was all too much and you could feel your body teetering over the edge.

“wanda fuck, i’m gonna cum. please don’t stop mama, please” the words were raspy as they left your lips, struggling to fully vocalise yourself as wanda’s hold on your neck didn’t let up.

but she heard you anyway. she always would. wanda’s sole purpose right now was focusing on every movement of your body, every pant and breath you took, every moan that you choked out and every whisper of broken words that you spoke.

your eyelids fluttered shut as you felt the all familiar feeling in your stomach tightening, just mere seconds away from the coil snapping.

“don’t close your eyes, detka. watch me as you cum, can you do that?”

you nodded instantly, forcing your body to open them and as soon as you did a long moan ripped itself from your throat as you held eye contact with the woman behind you. your body trembled as the orgasm hit you like a ton of bricks, instantly tensing up as the shock waves flowed through you.

wanda watched in amazement as she held your body up, her hips continuing their thrusts but decreasing in pace as she helped you through it. she watched as your mouth hung open, whining and panting as you shook in her hold.

after a few moments passed, the redhead felt your body relax and sink into her touch. to avoid overstimulating you; even though she had thought about it many times, she could tell you were spent, so she slowly came to a halt until her cock just stayed nestled deep inside of you.

wanda’s gaze on you never faltered, her eyes focusing on the way you gasped for breath, your chest heaving up and down as you tried to calm your beating heart. it was ethereal in wanda’s opinion, you looked so beautiful all fucked out. sweat beads slowly ran down your face, a few strands of hair clinging to your head as you lolled your head back against her shoulder in exhaustion.

“are you okay, darling?” wanda spoke against the shell of your ear, her voice shaky and just barely above a whisper. she paused for a moment, letting herself catch her own breath before continuing. “that wasn’t too much was it?”

you shook your head, taking in a long breath before responding. “no no, i- that was just.. it was really intense”

a soft smile creeped onto wanda’s lips at that. “in a good way or bad way?”

“in the best way i-“ you shifted slightly in her hold to snake an arm around the back of her neck, your blunt nails scratching lightly at the skin. “have you ever been with a woman before because that was.. god”

a low chuckle hit your ears, the divine sound causing your walls to clench around the dildo. “i might have.. but, that was all back in my college days”

you hummed in response, ignoring the fleeting moment of question that this could possibly be another experiment to her.

“how about we both shower and we could finally get around to that dragon show you like?”

your eyes widened giddily at that, your hand falling from the back of her neck to rest on the soft skin of her thigh, your thumb rubbing in slow circles. “together or..?”

wanda’s laugh echoed in the room, “yes, together” she moved her hand to rest on the back of yours, letting herself take in the delicate moment of your first time together, something she would remember for as long as she lives. “now come on, the smell of sex is deafening in here”

ᗢ

tag list by request: @fxckmiup @natashaswife4125

[gadriezmannsgirl]

Not Like Others -P.G (1)

I know I took a lot of posting this but I hope the wait was worth it... I'm starting my new semester at Uni and I'm really busy learning the units, doing homeworks and stuffs, I've taken a little bit of advantage to post and be active this week since the first week is always quieter, doing the welcome and those things, so here it is.

This may be a little boring but it is needed to understand what will happen and everything in the next chapters

Feedback is highly appreaciated, please! Let me know what you think!!

|Chapter II| |Chapter III|

Summary: When you get the chance of meeting Pablo Gavi, you don't seem to react as the rest of people would do and that attracts him to you

January 17th, 2023

“Here we are” Your dad, Armando Santos, spoke with a big smile “Welcome to Barcelona, Spain” He introduced as you only looked at the pretty much empty, airport

“Gorgeous” Gregorio, your two years older brother said in fake excitement as you chuckled a little, your dad turned around looking at him narrowing his eyes “The airport’s nice!”

“Déjate de hostias, hombre. No has visto la verdadera belleza” (Stop joking around, youngman. You haven’t seen the real beauty) Your dad said with a heavy Spanish accent, making your mom, Cristina Aguilar, raise her eyebrows

“Already into the mood? Good” You laughed once more

“Stop it, señorita” Your dad said getting over to tickle you but you walked backwards and pushed his hands down when some yellings grabbed yours and your family’s attention. There was a light group of girls, screaming with their phones up.

“Can’t we go back to Canada? People here looks a bit crazy”

“You’re Spanish too” Gregorio said as you pushed him lightly while laughing “They must be fangirls or something”

“Is some singer coming here?” You ask “Harry Styles? Taylor Swift? Ed Sheeran? Coldplay? Lasso? Myke Towers? Maluma?”

“None of those, right now”

“Actors?” You ask “If Tom Hiddleston is there, I’ll make a way in it too”

“You’re not making a way inside anything” Your mom said as you raise your hands up

“I’m joking” You started walking towards your luggage “Or am I?”

“Y/N!” You laughed lightly

“I will not” You say and after a few seconds yawned “Joder, I’m so tired” You whined “So jetlagged I just wanna sleep through my whole college degree and wake up to my graduation day” You felt Gregorio laugh openly

“Get the nice pics; touch that diploma and go to sleep again?” You nod excited with a smile on

“And the party, never forget the party” He ruffled your hair “¡Hey! Gotta look pretty after this whole stressing out thing”

“You always look pretty but I think that’s not how it works” Your mom laughed lightly, grabbing your three years old brother’s hand, Mauricio “, sorry to ruin that dream of yours” You groan lightly stomping your feet in the airport ground, the yells intensified

“Joder, ¿Pero qué carajos estará pasando ahí?” (Fuck, but what the hell is going on there?) Armando replied impressed with the yelling

“Mejor será que nos vayamos. Mauricio can cry at any given minute” (It’s the best if we leave) Cristina said guiding you to start walking

“Y/N” Your dad called you as you turned around to face him “Don’t you worry, I thought the same thing too when I was in Uni” He winks at you as you smile “But sadly after I graduated it, I wanted to go at it again. Those always are the good times” He said as you lifted your eyebrows up, not believing that.

How does stressing out and having no time to even shower sometimes is good times?

“What? I was a nerd, yes. But a cool one, I always got out on parties and at the same time got those one hundred on my grades? That’s one of a kind. How do you think I got your mom?” You laugh shaking your head as your mom pinched your dad making him laugh lightly “Let’s go, we gotta go home so we can take a good and well deserved nap before readjusting ourselves here” He said as you kept on walking

You just landed from Canada after a whole seven hours flight to your home, the place you were born in, your beautiful Barcelona. The same Barcelona you had to leave when you were barely four years old to move all the way to Canada because of your parent’s job and after fourteen years over there, after a whole life created, you were moving back where you started. You were moving back home.

A home where you didn’t knew a single thing of about, you didn’t know the Catalans streets but still you always loved seeing pictures of them on your parents photographic albums.

Good thing is that your parent’s never allowed you or your brother to forget your Hispanics roots, often while being on the house in Canada, speaking in Spanish or a really deep Spanglish where only the fourth of you could really understand it. You also know the basics of Catalan and you are able to maintain a conversation if the person talking to you is speaking really slowly and/or doesn’t have any problems of repeating itself a few times but you indeed could speak Catalan.

The fact you had to learn and adjust to this place made you both excited and nervous, Barcelona was big and you could easily get lost in the city, plus the fact you didn’t know anyone else here besides your family from your dad’s side was terrifying you. And you to get to know your Uni, making friends, lots of learning were about to come and you were about to come out of your body, feeling like collapsing from just the thought of it.

“How do we have a car here?” Gregorio asked

“Maybe because you have grandparents here?” You heard the so known voice of your grandmother, Estella

“Lila!” You yelled out with happiness on your voice going over to hug the not-so-old but not-so-young lady, excited as she welcomed you in her tight and warm grip

“How was the flight?” She asked after hugging and inspecting you whole from top to bottom

“Tiring” You said “At least I spend it good, slept a bit and read this new book I got, unlike Grego, who had a kid behind him and apparently was kicking him”

“That freaking bastard” He cursed under his breath as you laugh lightly “I really wanted to punch the kid”

“Watch that mouth, youngman. Violence is never good and only brings you more problems” El abuelo, Enrique spoke nodding a few times as he spoke with a smile on, he opened his arms for Gregorio to get in his hold “You’re almost as tall as me”

“That’s not much, dad” Your dad smiled causing you to laugh as the abuelo lifted his eyebrows at him

“We’re gonna talk about this at home” The abuelo said before laughing and bringing your dad into a hug

“Cristina, you’re looking fantastic”

“I can say the same thing for you, Estella” Your mom hugged your grandma, as your felt a tug on your hand, you looked down and saw your little brother, Mauricio pushing his arms out for you and you picked him up placing him in your hip.

He was looking behind him and a few times, you had to readjust your hold on him since he was being moody and moving around a lot

“Mau, para” You said looking at him and catched him looking behind himself, you looked towards he was looking and met the eyes of a boy, who was with other guys and who must be around your age, with brown hair, big eyes and his face was in a frown. You couldn’t see him properly because as soon as you looked over to him, he turned his gaze away.

And Mauricio who pulled at your necklace brought your attention, completely forgetting about the guy. “Así no, Mau; me lastimas. Be careful” (Not like that, Mau; you’re hurting me) You said bouncing the boy as he giggled and that catched your grandma’s attention

“This is the little one!” She exclaimed looking over to Mauricio who buried his head into your neck shy “I’m abuelita, mi amor!” She smiled getting closer to you as you encouraged the young one to look at the lady and once he did, he was laughing in her arms.

Your dad and granddad seemed to forget about the fact they were on an airport entrance as they chatted for a few minutes, you felt someone looking at you and turned around watching this time, two guys along the same one from earlier looking at you, you brushed them off and looked towards your mom.

Weird.

Spanish people so far, were really weird. Yourself, included.

“Someone already have admirers?” She had noticed as you smiled

“You wish” You shake your head and suppressed a yawn    

“Let’s go home?” She noticed as you smiled thanking her “We can keep the chat at home, met you there?” The olderly couple nodded and you saw your abuelo give your dad some keys.

“House and car” He pronounced each one as your dad smiled

“Thanks, dad. We’ll see you there” And with that they left to their car as your dad went to what it seemed to be, now, his car.

“Ready for our new chapter in Barcelona?” Your dad asks as both your hermano and you

You were opposed by the idea of leaving what it seemed your place for forever, your old house, your streets, your friends, your team, your whole life behind, but soon, realized you only left it behind if you allow yourself to forget it and you weren’t going to. And they weren't going to forget you either. Eventually you made peace with the fact of this new and big change for you, even if you weren’t so fond of changes and saw the good side of it and finally could see yourself settling into your real place. In your Barcelona.

So, as your dad asked, you looked at your brother and he looked back at you, smiling, you nodded at each other.

“We’re Ready”

°°° °°° °°° °°°

Taglist: @gaviypedrisbride @stuckinaf4nfiction @elijahslover @azzpenswrld

I'm planning to do a taglist for Not Like Others, if you want to be there, comment a little "NLO taglist, please" and I will know that you wanna be included in it and you will be. Like I said in the beggining, I truly hope you guys like it, please let me know what you think. Feedback is really important to me because it lets me know you like my works, it helps me with writing and makes me feel nice knowing all the effort I put in these little stories is worth it. With this being said, I read you guys, take care!

[teal-fiend]

Party Trick

A uni student pred goes to a party. The group Find out he’s a pred. They want to see it for themselves.

Content: intoxication, fatal vore, pred pov, digestion, willing prey

—

It was a late night, I was in my dorm, rewriting notes under the yellow light of my desk lamp. I copied my scrawlings from the lecture in perfect, even strokes. 

I finished the page, and took a sip of coffee that had gone cold. I felt a hungry growl from my stomach. I’d gotten distracted by my work and neglected to have dinner. I lit a cigarette. Another distraction from hunger. 

As I was drifting off in thought, indulging in the cheap satisfaction of a nicotine high, the phone rang. It was an odd hour to call, still I answered it.

“Rowan speaking” “Ro,” I heard laughter in the background, “where are you?”

Alice had invited me to her party, I’d completely forgotten about it, too busy with my studying. 

“I’m at home.” 

“Get your scrawny ass over here now!” She shouted over the ambiance of the party. 

I thought I’d done enough work for the night, and I did want to go. “Alright,” I said loudly. She said something incoherent and then hung up.

I didn’t want to arrive sober, especially since I was already late, so I took a few long swigs from the bottle of whisky I kept in my room, then I put it in my satchel bag, along with my cigs. 

I felt a wave of light nausea and dizziness after the alcohol settled in my empty stomach. I hoped they had food at the party, because otherwise I’d be in for a rough night. 

I checked myself in the mirror before heading out. There were dark circles under my eyes, behind my tawny glasses. And my hair was deranged. I smoothed it down, I adjusted my collar, and smoothed down my dress shirt as well. 

I arrived at Alice’s not twenty minutes later, I fumbled with the gate’s lock, and watched my step as I ascended the stairs.

Alice greeted me, leaning against the doorframe, “Rowan’s here!” She exclaimed, drunk, happy, willing to share that with me. A few other party guests cheered when she said this, partially excited to see me, but mostly wanting something to cheer about.

I entered the house, the windows were foggy from the warmth of the bodies inside, drinking, talking, there was a stereo playing. Alice had a pole in her living room, and a tall boy was swinging around on it like a gymnast, even still with a bottle of gin glued to his hand.

I drank too, and was offered someone’s weed pipe, which I took a few introspective puffs from. I was still hungry, my drunkenness was less energetic like the rest of them, and more forlorn. The weed kicked in and I was content to feel sorry for myself. 

I found myself on a leather couch, in a conversation, but not able to pay much attention to it. The party was winding down, I was nestled in, we all were, in something of a circle.

They were trying to get my attention. 

“Rowan,” a blonde girl, who’s name I couldn’t remember asked, “is it true?” “Is what?” I asked dully. 

A boy, Peter, who was sitting next to me answered, “that you’re a predator?”

I did not expect that question. “Uh, yeah,” 

Alice asked, “what does it mean?”

“It means he eats people.”

“I haven’t done it in a while,” I said, and it was true, “I don’t even know if I still can.” Less true, but it seemed like the right thing to say.

“Why do you do it?” “I get hungry sometimes,” I explain, “It’s just something I can do, I guess,”

“Are you hungry now?” Peter asked.

“How did you learn how to do it?” Said someone else

My stomach made a protracted, implicatory growl. Its timing got the attention of everyone in the circle.

“You are hungry,” the blonde girl said, mystified. 

“You should consume someone here… that would be fucking crazy.”

I laughed self consciously. 

“Wait, should we actually?” Alice asked, with genuine interest. 

I felt a nervousness in my chest that was compounded by the pot. This could be a possibility... Everyone was drunk, high, and eager to see something they hadn’t seen before. My mouth watered at the realisation; the suggestion of a meal. I swallowed quickly.

“Maybe,” I said slowly, I didn’t want to seem too eager, But I’d never before eaten prey while high, and the idea was growing on me. 

“Okay, if we did, who would it be?” 

No one volunteered, and I was let down, and a little embarrassed. 

But then Peter said, “I would,”

Everyone hyped him up for that, and I felt my heart flutter concerningly. I hoped it wasn’t arrhythmia (it’s happened before).

Peter. I had never looked at him that way before. He usually wore glasses, but he wasn’t tonight. He was a good student, but not driven, not obsessive like me. I had never once considered him as my prey, but in the moment it was starting to make a lot of sense.

I had that thing that happens sometimes when you’re high, the time distortion, when you suddenly remember everything you did at once. Probably the weed making things seem more significant than they were, but I began to believe that everything I had done today was leading up to this moment. 

I watched him curiously. His soft brown hair might give me trouble, but his clear (if not alcohol flushed), smooth skin… He had an edible vibe to him. He wouldn’t be too demanding on my stomach.

And he had a healthy, organic aroma. Like he’d showered recently, but wasn’t wearing cologne. 

Alice giggled.

“What?” I asked innocently.

“Dude,” another guy chimed in, “you’re looking at him like he’s a ribeye or something,”

My face flushed. Peter grinned.

“Damn, okay,” Alice said, “do it then”

Peter turned to me. My predatory side was more than eager to have him, but I couldn’t help but wonder what my professor would think of me, eating one of my fellow students.

But then his hands were in my mouth, and I remembered how hungry I was. I hadn’t eaten in hours, I’d studied hard all day, the marijuana didn’t help with the cravings either. He tasted incredible, the vibrancy I was able to experience, no meal I’ve had sober could compare even remotely. 

Still I knew people were watching, so I tried to be cool about it. The prey dropped into my stomach and the reward chemicals in my brain made my body feel like butter. I fell apart.

The blonde girl felt my stomach through my dress shirt, which was riding up since my stomach had become engorged. She noticed how my belt was digging into my gut, so she undid it for me. 

The group cooed at me, gathering around, marvelling at the sight in front of them. The other guy, a redhead, I didn’t remember his name either, he unbuttoned my shirt in order to get a clear look at me. 

I closed my eyes and leaned back, offering my belly up for their inspection. Their many hands were on me, driven by morbid curiosity, pressing gently, tentatively testing my boundaries.

When the prey, Peter, started moving under my skin they gasped in surprise and fascination.

When I had my first prey, I was as interested in the visuals as they were. It was so strange to see my body change so much to accommodate my meal, and watching it squirm, pressing out against my own skin, it used to engross me. But now I was more intent on the sensations happening where I couldn’t see. Inside my stomach, I felt the prey at every point of contact on my internals. The friction caused by his wriggling invigorated my stomach. I swore I could feel the acids and enzymes being squeezed out with every press.

What’s more the prodding and patting that my audience was doing from the outside… I was being stimulated from every direction. It was almost too much. I kept my eyes closed.

I stretched languidly, smirking in content. I basked in the attention which was itself perhaps more enjoyable than the satisfaction of the meal. I relished in their enthrallment, these prey doting on my predatory body, witnessing me annihilating one of their species. It was a dark, existential event for them to indulge in, but by the way they kneaded into my belly, they seemed to be enjoying it more than I was. 

We were all high off our shit - I can’t imagine how Peter was doing in there, enveloped in a vacuum sealed, warm bag of flesh which teethed at him, unrelentingly. And then his friends on the outside, poking at him with almost scientific inquisition, playing with him like highschoolers at a frog dissection.

And for Alice and the two others, I was reminded of this psychedelic festival I was told about, where they had sensory boxes, filled with sand, or slime, any interesting texture that a tripped out party-goer could appreciate. I’d imagine my belly was having that effect on them; it was warm, doughy in places, but firm. It moved like it was alive, shifting unfathomably beneath their hands. 

Wait, does that mean I’m the sensory container? The thought made me feel strange.

Despite being stoned out of my mind, my digestive system went forward with its treacherous work. I heard a noise that sounded like someone was washing the dishes, and draining the sink. I wondered how the hell someone got a sink into the living room, when I realised the sound was coming from my stomach. The blonde girl pressed her head against my gut, and the others took their turn as well, listening to my drunken body digest our friend. 

I heard a door open, and footsteps coming towards us. Whoever it was said “what the fuck is going on in here?” Before promptly leaving. I thought that was the funniest shit ever, and I tried (unsuccessfully) to stifle a laugh. 

It was contagious, we all lost our shit for a minute. Laughing uncontrollably at the situation.

The ginger guy said, “ah man, Peter,” talking to my stomach.

Alice pushed with her shoulder on my lower belly, pushing it up further to my chest - my breath hitched - before releasing the hold, hearing it slosh as it settled back into position.

“Your tummy’s really heavy,” she sighed.

“What were you trying to do?” I asked, suppressing a belch due to the disturbance of my stomach contents.

“Move you onto the couch again.”

“I can get up on my own.” I couldn’t. I was pinned down and too inebriated to find any strength or balance.

“You’re so sleepy,” the guy said.

“Aw, sleepy Rowan,” the other girl sympathised.

It wasn’t so much sleepiness, but I couldn’t even begin to explain it to them. My conversational skills were not so finely tuned at the present moment.

The three of them got stuck into the task of covering me with blankets, quilts, and pillows from around the home. I was draped in what I think were hand towels as well, which confused me, but they were doing their best. 

I was strangely comfortable under the pile which was stacked atop me. 

All the lights in the house were turned off, and I thought they left me alone, but I felt at least one, maybe 2 bodies next to me, or maybe I was imagining things. 

As I fell into unconsciousness, I couldn't help but wonder if I was going to regret it in the morning.

[allmoshnobrain]

Hi love!! Since requests are open, can I request Cronos trying to out-drink the reader but she manages to out-drink him and he’s super impressed? Thank you!

🌻🌻

𝐚𝐜𝐢𝐝 𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐞𝐧

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

cronos (venom) x fem!reader | word count: 2,6k | requests are open! send yours here

“Yeah?” he chuckled, seemingly unfazed by your annoyance. “Why don’t you prove it then, love?” Oh, you thought. He’s not the type who likes being challenged. Somehow, that information piqued your interest. You looked at him, your eyes meeting for a moment as the smile on his lips grew a bit more mischievous; was he playing with you?

✦ on this fic: cronos (venom) x fem!reader, language, drinking

✦ a/n: i've been DYING to write for cronos for a while and i'm glad i finally did! this was such a fun request and honestly i'm kind of in love with him on this one lol i may make this an au bc i already have a few ideas for future parts so requests and suggestions are appreciated. hope you guys like it! ❤

You had to admit; going back home from uni for your first holidays felt a bit weird. 

Not because anything had changed back home, but because you felt like a totally different person than you were just a few months ago, before you’d left. Plus, bringing your best mate Laura to meet your family had to be a bit unusual, right? But Laura’s parents were too busy traveling the world without her again, so you just had to do something. That’s just how you were.

Of course, being home meant one thing: dealing with your older twin brother, Philip. Which wasn’t all bad, except for that lovely old rivalry that made you compete over pretty much everything. You just hoped the days at home would be a nice mix of peace and fun. You needed a break, after all.

You should’ve known it wouldn’t be that simple.

“Hey, there!” your brother called out as you walked in, a half-empty beer bottle in hand. You could hear the TV blaring from the living room, probably a sports match. “Was starting to think you wouldn’t show up.”

“Yeah, our bus got delayed,” you said. “This is Laura, by the way,” you added, pointing to your friend, who gave your brother a shy smile. You frowned, noticing Philip seemed to be home alone. “So, where’s Mum and Dad?”

“Oh, they haven’t told you? They’re on a business trip, but they’ll be back by Monday,” Philip said casually, and you sighed. Well, they could’ve mentioned it, but Monday wasn’t that far off. It was Saturday morning, so you’d only have to wait two days to see your parents again. “They asked me to tell you to ring them as soon as you got home, though. I’ve got their hotel number.”

“Okay, will do. Just let me and Laura take our bags upstairs and change into something more comfy.”

“Oh, and…” Philip hesitated, and you looked at him, an eyebrow raised. You just knew when your brother talked like that, it meant trouble. “Uh, I’ve invited some of the boys over today for a small, like, party? If that’s alright.”

“Phil, what the hell? A party?” you exclaimed. “Have you told Mum and Dad?”

“Course not,” he snorted. “Come on, it’ll be fun. You and Laura can join in. I told them I’d have some hot birds over anyway.”

“Oh, fuck off,” you shoved him softly before heading for the stairs. “I’m not cleaning up any of your mates’ mess, you hear me?”

“Love you too,” he yelled as you walked upstairs. You rolled your eyes, and Laura giggled.

“What?” you asked, and she shrugged.

“You two are cute,” she smiled, and you huffed. “So, guess we’re having a party tonight, then?”

“Looks like we’ve got no choice,” you mumbled.

“Come on, it’s not like you don’t enjoy a good party yourself! It can’t be that bad, can it?” she tried to cheer you up. You sighed.

“Ugh, it’s just… I was expecting to get home, see Mum and Dad, maybe watch some chick flicks and eat some ice cream. Not to have loud music and drinks all night. I’m still knackered from our last pub crawl, alright?”

“Alright, grumpy,” Laura chuckled. “You should definitely grab something to eat. I know a hungry girl when I see one.”

You rolled your eyes but smiled. You knew Laura was right — you were knackered, but after a hot shower and some food, you’d probably get excited about the party later. Even though your brother’s friends were… chaotic, at best. Phil worked at a small music venue across town, so most of his friends were into the music scene in some way, which made for quite the interesting crowd.

The day flew by, and before you knew it, people started showing up at your place. You and Laura were finishing getting ready when you heard the familiar sound of distorted guitars coming from downstairs. You should’ve known a party with Phil’s friends would be a heavy metal one.

“What’s that racket?” Laura asked, looking shocked by your brother’s musical tastes, which made you chuckle.

“Heavy metal. Phil’s a fan, you know,” you said, focusing on finishing your eyeliner. You watched Laura’s reflection as she rummaged through her luggage. “Hope you like Iron Maiden.”

When you finally got downstairs, the house was already packed. You sighed, biting your lower lip softly as you searched for your older brother in the growing crowd. If he was going to throw a party on your first day back from uni, you hoped he at least had the sense to get you something to drink.

You found him in the kitchen, laughing loudly with two guys you’d never seen before. One was blonde, with a mustache and a cigarette in hand, while the other was this tall, dark-haired guy with massive arms, leaning against the wall. He looked up when you walked in, and your eyes met for a brief moment, but you ignored him, heading straight for your brother.

“Oi, fuckhead,” you called out, and Phil raised an eyebrow. “What kind of party has no booze?”

“Oh, so now you’re in a partying mood?” he grinned. “Course we got drinks. You think we’d have a party without any booze, especially with this lad?” He slapped the dark-haired guy’s shoulder, who chuckled, his eyes meeting yours for a moment again. “He’s the biggest drinker I know!”

“You’re joking, right?” Laura cut in, and Phil looked at her, raising an eyebrow. “You’re saying he’s the biggest drinker you know when your sister’s right here?”

“Laura!” you exclaimed, feeling your cheeks flush.

“What? You’re the biggest drinker I know, no contest. No one can compete with you at a party, girl.”

“Nice to know that,” Phil said, and you looked back at him, seeing a cheeky smile on his lips that made you huff and roll your eyes. “I wonder what Mum and Dad would think of that, eh?”

“You’re not telling them, unless you want me to spill about your little party,” you grumbled.

“Yeah, well, I’m not telling them because I don’t believe it,” he teased. “No way you’re a bigger drinker than Cronos.”

Cronos. That was a curious name, but you figured it had to be a stage name, right? No way someone would actually be called that. You bit your lower lip, frowning. With the way Phil was sucking up, you knew the guy had to be someone important, at least in the metal scene. Maybe he was a musician? He definitely looked the type.

“Come on, mate,” the dark-haired guy, Cronos, finally spoke, a small smile on his lips. You could tell he was loving the attention your brother was giving him, which only made you more annoyed. “No need to put your sis down because of me.”

“You don’t need to defend me,” you blurted out, and Cronos raised an eyebrow. “Phil’s just being his usual daft self,” you looked at your brother, who scoffed at you. “Besides, I’m probably a better drinker than you, anyway.”

“Yeah?” he chuckled, seemingly unfazed by your annoyance. “Why don’t you prove it then, love?”

Oh, you thought. He’s not the type who likes being challenged. Somehow, that information piqued your interest. You looked at him, your eyes meeting for a moment as the smile on his lips grew a bit more mischievous; was he playing with you? 

“Is this a dare?” you asked. 

“If you say so,” he said, his grin widening. 

“Oh, this is gonna be fun,” Laura giggled. “So, are we having a drinking contest or what?”

“Alright,” Phil grinned in that oh-boy-you’re-so-gonna-lose way that always wound you up when he dared you to do something. “I’ll get the glasses and the beer.”

You waited while Phil rummaged around the kitchen for some pint glasses and got everything sorted. You bit your lip, trying to stop the blush creeping onto your cheeks as you felt Cronos’ eyes on you. Maybe you shouldn’t have challenged him — you barely knew the man. But Phil’s endless ways of winding you up made it hard not to. Your annoyance often spilled over onto his loud friends, his loud music, his loud everything. You loved your brother, sure, but sometimes it felt like he still saw you as the shy little kid you used to be.

And you were ready to prove him wrong again.

“Right, here we go,” Phil said, plonking two pint glasses on the table, then cracking open a beer and pouring it into one of them. “How about we bet on who finishes these first? Winner gets, I don’t know, we’ll think about something.”

“Maybe the loser should have to do anything the winner wants,” Cronos suggested, that same cheeky grin on his face. The way he said it made your cheeks burn, and you rolled your eyes as Laura giggled.

“Mate, if you’re trying to pull my sister, you’ll need a better plan,” Phil laughed. “Good luck getting her to do anything after she loses to you.”

“Can you stop talking about me like I’m not here?” you snapped, trying to ignore the heat in your cheeks. “Besides, I’m not losing.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Phil said, waving you off as he finished pouring the beers. “Well, here we go. Grab your glasses, everyone, this is gonna be fun!”

You grabbed your pint glass, feeling the cold against your palm. You knew being the fastest drinker didn’t really mean being the biggest drinker, but you weren’t about to lose to Phil and his stupid rivalry, his stupid parties, and his stupid friends. You wanted to win, to wipe that cheeky grin off his face — and Cronos’ face too. If he thought he could use you for a laugh, he had another thing coming. It was time to channel every bit of determination and experience you’d gained in the drinking department since starting uni and win this.

“Ready… Set… Go!” Phil yelled, and you quickly lifted the glass to your lips. You closed your eyes, trying to down as much beer as you could, as fast as you could. You could hear Laura cheering you on, and, as quickly as it had started, it was over. You slammed the empty glass down, trying to catch your breath as you wiped off some of the beer that had dribbled down your chin, a triumphant smile spreading across your face as you saw Cronos finishing his beer — a good ten seconds after you.

“Ha!” you shouted, looking at Phil. “Told you I’d win! Maybe next time don’t use your mates to try and beat me.”

“Oh, shut it,” Phil grumbled. “Never knew going to uni would turn you into a lush.”

“You’re such a sore loser,” you laughed.

“It’s alright, mate,” Cronos cut in, putting a hand on Phil’s shoulder. He looked at you, the cheeky grin now gone, replaced by an impressed look in his eyes. “Your sister’s cool, you know? Maybe you should be a bit nicer to her.”

You and Phil stared at him, surprised. You could see Phil was also a bit miffed that his friend was taking your side, but hey, you weren’t going to complain when Phil’s antics had been winding you up all day.

“Yeah, whatever,” Phil grumbled and stomped out of the kitchen. You rolled your eyes — he was probably off to sulk somewhere, and you weren’t about to chase after him. Sometimes it felt like you were the older one, not him.

You looked around the kitchen, trying to spot Laura and ask if she fancied going somewhere else — maybe to a pub. But then you realized she wasn’t in the kitchen anymore. Neither was the blonde guy you’d seen around with Phil and Cronos earlier.

Suddenly, it was just you and him.

“So,” Cronos said, and you quickly looked up at him, blushing when he stepped closer. “What do you want me to do?”

“W... What?” you stammered, and he chuckled.

“I said whoever lost should do whatever the winner wanted, didn’t I? You won.”

“I don’t want anything. It was just a stupid game,” you said, and he chuckled.

“You sure about that?” he asked, and you blushed as he took another step. He was tall, much taller than you, and the way he moved nearer made your heart race a bit faster. You’d found him annoying pretty much from the get-go, just like you always did with Phil’s friends, but now that he was closer you could notice the curve of his lips and the way his eyes sparkled with a playful, almost tender glint.

Maybe necking all that beer at once wasn’t the best idea, after all.

“You could tell me your name,” you said, more to break the silence than anything. He blinked, looking a bit confused, and you chuckled nervously. “I mean, is it really Cronos? That’s such a different name.”

“Oh. Oh, no, that’s a stage name,” he laughed. You could see the cheeky grin soften into something a bit more genuine for a moment — still playful, but more real. It made you curious again, wanting to know more about him. “I’m in a band, you know. My real name’s Conrad.”

“That’s a cool name, too,” you said, and he smiled.

“You sure you don’t want anything else?” he asked, his voice almost hopeful, making you blush. Well, you were on your own in the kitchen, weren’t you? For a moment, you wondered what might happen if you asked him to…

No. What the hell were you thinking?

“I’m good,” you mumbled, your cheeks burning.

“Alright then,” he said, and you let out a small sigh as he stepped back. “I’m heading back to the party to grab something stronger. Fancy coming with?”

“Yeah, sure. I need to track down Laura anyway,” you agreed, then paused before looking at him. “Um, it was nice meeting you.”

“Likewise,” he grinned. You felt your heart race when he placed a hand on the small of your back. “Shall we?”

You headed back into the living room, which was now packed. The place was definitely heaving. Cronos gave you a grin before joining his friends, and you scanned the room until you spotted Laura, sitting on the couch with a polite but bored smile while some long-haired guy chatted her up.

“Oh, my friend’s back!” she said when she spotted you. She stood up and linked her arm with yours. “Sorry, I’ve gotta run. Nice chat!” she added, and you bit back a laugh at the look of frustration on the guy’s face.

“You left the poor man hanging,” you said, and she giggled.

“Oh, he started going on and on about his favorite band as soon as I mentioned I didn’t know them,” she said, rolling her eyes. “Are all your brother’s friends like this?”

“Not all of them,” you replied, glancing up to see Cronos laughing loudly with his blonde friend. Laura’s eyes followed yours, and she grinned.

“So?” she asked, her voice full of expectation. “Did you two kiss or what?”

“Did we what? What are you talking about?” you asked, blushing, and she laughed. 

“Seriously, did you not see the way he was eyeing you up? That’s why I left you alone — thought he might’ve tried to kiss you or something.”

You blinked, shocked. It’s not like you hadn’t noticed his clear interest in you, but you thought maybe he was just curious. Curious like you were about him — you could tell he was an interesting guy. But you obviously didn’t expect him to be into you, even though the way he had looked at you while you were alone made your stomach flutter with unexpected butterflies. 

“Don’t be silly, Laura. Of course we didn’t kiss,” you muttered. 

But when he glanced over at you from across the room and your eyes met, you couldn’t help but maybe wish he had.

Wouldn’t be wrong to have just a taste, would it?

[mxsonxmountx]

MM x Exam Season

Word count: 804

Requested: Yes/No

Requests: Open/Close

Bold: Mason

Italics: you

AN: I don’t go to uni so i had to look at the grades online, pls forgive me. I had this all typed out on my laptop which was supposed to be longer, then it all got deleted 🙃😭

 -----

You’ve had exams every other day for the past 2 weeks. 2 weeks you haven’t seen your boyfriend Mason, 2 weeks you haven’t seen your family. Being known as masons’ girlfriend had its pros and cons, being in the family and friends area at Chelsea every other week was the best part. Cons? Not seeing him as much as you’d like and the hate. But with both having busy schedules you both came to terms with it eventually. You had your last exam in a weeks’ time, you agreed that Mason could stay for the week since the football season is over. You was in your garden with your books and he was kick his ball up and down on the concrete, you never had an issue with it but the sound was beginning to irritate you more than you thought.

“Mase please can you stop? Just for two hours? Please? I really need to concentrate.” “But you don’t give me attention when you study. I haven’t seen my girlfriend in weeks and all she does is study when I’m around” and with that his ball smashes your laptop “y/n I’m sorry. Please forgive me” you didn’t even stay to accept his apology, you went straight to your study room, locked yourself in and screamed. You had books that you could study from, but all your notes was on your laptop... every single note you made was on there, and now it’s gone. Because of your boyfriend couldn’t wait for a couple of hours for your attention.

——

Before you knew it, it’s was approaching 7pm and you could smell the freshness of something cooking but you hadn’t done any shopping in weeks due to stressing over your exams. “Why have you done this? I told you I’d be okay on a coffee and red bull” “I made it because I can tell that’s all what you’ve had for the past two weeks, I’ve made you a proper home cooked stew. Just like when we was kids, what my mum used to make us both” “I’ll eat it, but after I need to study” “not until I’ve given you a bath, you need to relax. I can tell that your stress levels are through the roof. You don’t need to stress too much you’ve got the final exam and I know that you will pass it without a doubt” just those words made you cry, yes all the stress and build-up of the anxiety hasn’t helped but that just topped it off and you needed a good cry. “I know I know but it’s just all too much for me right now. I’m sorry that I haven’t been replying to your calls, or seeing you properly in the last two weeks but this is the big exam Mase” he hugged you even tighter than before “listen its okay. Once this final exam is over with, we’ll go on holiday. Just you and me. We need some time together we’ve both been stressed and struggling at the moment. We deserve it” you both stay there for a little while longer before deciding to eat.

——

A week later you was awake at 5am, going over your notes that you made, ready to leave for uni at 8am, for the exam to start at 9:15. You was nervous but you could just about keep your nerves to a limit. Going into the hall you felt your phone vibrate and it was a message from mason:

Mase: good luck today angel, we’re all behind you. Go make us all proud. See you soon. Love you xxxxx

You didn’t have enough time to reply but he was definitely your good luck charm. All the weeks of studying is now down to this final exam.

Roughly a month later, it was results day. You wanted everyone to be there with you but it wasn’t possible, so you and Mase decided to set up both laptops (he brought you a new one) and have a zoom call so your family, his family and the Chelsea boys could celebrate with you all at once. You would be getting the results via email, time was going slow, slower than before. Your anxiety was skyrocketing and so was your blood pressure. You kept refreshing your emails from 8:58, you was too nervous to read them out for yourself so Mason read them out for everyone.

“Ladies and gentlemen, the results are in…” “Hurry up Mase please this isn’t helping” “I can proudly say my girlfriend got a…” “It’s not higher than D1 is it?” “A1! You’ve passed baby! You’ve passed!” Everyone cheered, you couldn’t believe it, and you passed all the stress was finally worth it. “I can’t believe I did it, I passed. I’m now officially smarter than my footballer boyfriend” “watch it misses”

[plantinghobbies]

The Same Damn Thing - Part 3

Haven’t read the previous parts? Catch up here!

@solipsisticno1 and I are so grateful to everyone who’s read and supported our little Valentine’s collab that has (to absolutely no one’s surprise) taken almost the entirety of February to get three parts done. But we are halfway there! Hope you enjoy!

Part 3: “…I knew you’d haunt all of my what if’s” - Taylor Swift——————————————————————————————————

Val avoids him after that, volunteering for work trips no one else wants. A day here, two days there add up to weeks before she knows it. It’s harder when she’s in the office but not impossible. She’s the first out of the conference room after a meeting, flying out the door with her nose in her phone in case he follows her. And the last one there at night, only leaving her office after she knows he’s gone for the day. She’s subsisting on non-perishable foods for lunch and is shocked she hasn’t developed a UTI from holding it all day but both these bleak realities are better than the thought of being alone with him again. Of the whoosh in her stomach as it drops when she sees him, the heat that pools seemingly everywhere at the thought of what almost happened. What did happen.

Before she knows it, it’s May and her mum is texting her to ask whether she’s coming home on the 24th. Val dreads the day each year. Not the actual anniversary of her sister’s death (though that’s the worst day of the year) but the one where she disappoints her parents again by saying she won’t be there with them to relive the worst day of their lives. It’s not that they’ll be alone - her aunt always comes down and Val’s cousin who lives in town stops by - but she knows it’s not the same. The first year she had tried, but everything in her told her it wasn’t where she needed to be. After they went to bed, Val had thrown her bag in the car, driving until her mind subconsciously brought her back to the last place she’d felt close to Marin - physically and metaphorically. The calm that engulfed her when she stepped onto the damp grass of the courtyard felt like a relief and a selfish indulgence at the same time. 

Ever since then, Val had come back to campus every year on the anniversary, making up work trips and last minute emergencies to avoid telling her mom the truth - that being home with them didn’t bring her anywhere near the comfort that being there did. That the best times of her life were at uni that year.

The 24th dawns with a bright sun and cloudless sky. There’s a slight chill in the air as Val catches the train to her destination, wrapping her hands up in the long sleeves of her jacket. It’s not even 7:30 when she makes it to campus, wanting to avoid the Saturday early birds at the farmers market that wasn’t there when she was in school.

Lying down in the grass under her favorite tree, she tries to remember the bits of advice she picked up in the grief group that she’d gone to for a few months. Use the day to remember old memories, but also to make new ones, your loved one is always with you. (Val’s not sure that she believes that but  she has pictured Marin standing beside her during particularly difficult times over the years and it has helped). 

Flashes of memories play against her eyelids - Halloween when the whole group had dressed up as Mario Kart characters, complete with little cardboard cars that had been left in a pile by the dumpster of their favorite bar after they couldn’t squeeze into the booth with them on. Marin’s face when Val had given her her secret Santa gift - a limited edition of Mary Oliver’s first collection that Val had spent three months saving every penny she had to pay for (worth it).  Matty’s and Marin’s drunken duet of Ain’t No Mountain High Enough, cackling when Matty’s voice cracked around the high notes, his indignant claims that he was sick, not just shit at karaoke. 

The memories transport her back, so vivid that Matty’s voice sounds like it’s right next to her. 

“Val? Val, you ok?” A hand wraps around her shoulder gently and she bolts up to sitting, throwing an elbow out on instinct that catches the offender with a low “umph.” It sounds familiar. 

The “fuck me” he whispers lowly confirming what she already knew. A part of her wants to keep her eyes closed - to continue to live in her memories instead of face the reality in front of her. Out of sight, out of mind. 

“Ummm listen I didn’t mean to….” No such luck. 

Her eyes peel open slowly, blinking against the heavy sun. Sunglasses would have been smart. He’s crouched in front of her, one hand on the ground to balance himself, the other resting on his knee (the bad one. Val remembers the brace he had to wear for weeks after he twisted it trying to learn football tricks to prove he was better at it than James). 

“What are you doing here?” The accusation in her voice isn’t intentional but he reacts to it, steeling his shoulders and leaning back away from her. 

“Same thing you are I reckon.” A smile pulls at his lips before he seems to think better of it and tugs it back in. 

Of course, the one year that she is actively trying to avoid him, they end up here at the same time. She’s not surprised he had the same idea, he always did like ceremony. “Do you, umm, do you want to grab a coffee? Talk? Or not talk?” She is surprised by the invitation, her behavior over the last few months wasn’t exactly hospitable. But then again, neither was his. 

He looks lost, eyes sunken into heavy bags as he gazes up at her through his lashes. She wonders how long they’ve been there. His fingers twitch around a cigarette the isnt’ there. She shouldn’t, she shouldn’t, she - “Uh yea, sure.” Clearly he’s retained his ability to charm her into doing things against her better judgment. 

They walk to an old haunt where he used to sing at open mic nights, the destination unspoken between them. It’s only when they’re sat face to face, steaming mugs between them, that she realizes the mistake she’s made. Her other interactions with him since the incident (as she’s taken to calling it in her head) have been short, work-related, no direct eye contact or conversation needed. 

It seems it’s dawning on him as well. Matty traces the rim of his mug and then clears his throat.

“I uh I -“ He mutters something under his breath that sounds like “Christ man” before continuing “Uh, how’s the rest of your day been?”

Val snorts as she looks up at him but he beats her to a retort “Fuck me, I’m sorry, dumbest question ever. Don’t answer that. I just - I don’t know what to say after - “ 

“Don’t.” It comes out sharper than she intended. But she can’t think of that night, of what Marin would think. Not today at least. Maybe not ever. 

They’re plunged into silence once again. Matty fidgets and crosses his leg, knocking the bag over that Val hadn’t noticed he’d been carrying until now. 

“What’s that?” She knows he hates small talk but chickens out for safe ground. 

“Baby onesie from the bookstore.” Her eyebrow arches, eyes flitting between him and the bag. “No, not what you’re thinking. Not for me. For the kid. I mean, not for my kid, I don’t have one.” He’s always been cute when he rambles. Fuck. “It’s for James’ baby.” 

Her surprise must show on her face. “Oh I didn’t realize he had one?” 

“Yea, just a few days ago. He and his husband - he’s a great guy, you’d like him. As patient as you’d imagine you’d have to be to put up with Jay.” His voice bears no judgement though it’s clear he knows that she hasn’t kept up with anyone beyond perfunctory texts.  It’s not that she’d gone out of her way to cut ties. But after she’d transferred schools, it became so easy to pretend she was someone else - someone who knew what they were doing, someone who didn’t pine after a guy who didn’t want her (at least not in the way she wanted). Someone who hadn’t lost her favorite person (people, really). She liked that version of herself - confident, detached, focused - more than the sad, lonely, and depressed reality that she was trying so hard to hide. And her friends would have seen right through her. So she kept them from seeing. 

It’s the odd silence that draws Val out of her thoughts and back to the table. Right, Matty had been talking about James. “Aaah so he hasn’t slowed down with age?”

The smile he gives her then is small but warm. “Nope, far from it. I think the older he gets, the more frantic he gets about the number. Trying to squeeze as much wild shit in as possible. I mean, it’s crazy but life is short, you kn-

Val watches as he pulls up, looking for all the world like he wanted to shovel the words back down his throat. Eyes flitting everywhere but her face.

“I mean -“ On instinct, her hand is covering his, not able to see him anxious even after all these years. 

“Matty, I think we both know.” 

He cocks his head at her hand, and she pulls it back. Aware that it’s the first time they’ve touched since That Night. 

“Can we talk about something else? Please.” God she’s a prick but after a morning spent solely focused on sad, she needs some relief. Hopes he won’t mind. 

He snaps his jaw shut, clearly taken aback with the desperation in her voice. “Uh, yea, course. I’m sure it’s tough to think about today…” (Truth is, she could talk about Marin all day. Matty and Marin, that was a different story). 

Eye contact seems to be hard for both of them, each flitting around for something to distract from the heavy intimacy that has settled over them. God, why did she say yes to this. Their relationship - she indulges herself with using that term to describe it - is one third rail topic after another. 

And just like so many times before, Matty throws her a lifeline. “Did you hear that I’m still office snooker champion?”

The laugh she barks out startles the sleeping baby at the table next to her, both of its mothers sending her death glares as the hiccuping cries begin. “What the fuck? How’d that happen?”

A cheshire grin settles on Matty’s features as he leans in conspiratorially “Fucking cheaters. They got Dawes - he was judging, remember? Well they got him drunk and then kept fudging the score. Someone caught them and turned them into the party police.” 

Val settles against the back of her chair, crossing her arms. “It was you, wasn’t it?” 

His laugh sends a spark from her ears to her toes. “Now what would give you that impression.”

“Besides the fact that I saw you bring Dawes four rounds of shots?” 

“I think you’re mistaken.” 

“Even if I was, there’s no one else who cares enough about that competition to go through the trouble of reporting that.” Matty’s eyes narrow as she points at him, following the path of her fire-engine red nail. “Except you.”

The grin he was trying to suppress earlier breaks free. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” She’d missed his mischievous look, like the cat that swallowed the canary.

“Oh well my mistake then.”

“Too right.” 

Another memory.“You remember when Daisy tried to impress that guy and ended up needing to replace the whole top of the snooker table at Shea’s?” 

“Oh my god - and we all nearly went broke because of it. Who the fuck knew felt could cost that much?” Matty says, raising his mug to his lips before realizing it was empty. He sets it down gently, looking between his mug and her forehead (he’s struggling to look at her, which would offend her if she wasn’t also mesmerizing his hairline right back). “Umm I’m getting another. You want one?”

The line had grown substantially since they’d come in, giving her plenty of time to observe him as he waited with their mugs. More time than she allowed herself at work, always worried about people’s noses stares and misguided assumptions about their relationship. There’s that word again. Time had been good to him, preserved his boyish good looks but filled them out, added a little ruggedness that was laughable when she thought back on how posh he’d grown up. Matty had struck up a conversation with the woman in front of him (of course he had) and not for the first time, Val wonders what he’s been up to since uni. Who he’s been spending his time with, the information that she can’t get from LinkedIn and the abandoned social media accounts she found one night after a few glasses of wine. He was always charming but watching him try to pull (she assumes, the woman looks like his type) now, she can see the quiet confidence that wasn’t there all those years ago when they sat in this dingy coffee shop, splitting pastries for lunch to save cash so they’d be able to buy more drinks at the pub later. That time seems like a million years ago now.

Val wishes that she could have outgrown her crush on him like she’d outgrown so many other things from that time. She didn’t need to flirt with the barista for free leftovers at the end of the day, could afford the good gin instead of the rail shit that was so bitter that she had to chase it with fries. Adulthood had changed a lot - but not everything. Her eyes still find him in any room they’re in, her laughter still bubbles up at his dark jokes, and her heart still stutters when Matty’s lips twitch into a soft, familiar smile when his gaze catches hers. Like it is right now. Fuck.

It’s not even worth pretending that she wasn’t staring as he makes his way back over, her eyes tracking his moves as he weaves around student’s backpacks and groups of friends huddled around a table meant for just two. 

“Jesus, that took forever.” Tea dribbles over the lip of the mug as he passes it to her. 

“Well, seemed like you enjoyed the company while you waited.” It was supposed to sound teasing but comes out with a hint of possessiveness that she hopes he misses. “You get her number?” Great save, Val. 

Matty cocks his head at her comment, that knowing gaze of his back in full force. “Um noooo. She asked if I’d been here before, couldn’t decide between the sticky bun and the chocolate croissant. I told her to go with the sti-

“Sticky bun” they chime at the same time. 

“Exactly. Told her she should go with that unless she liked the taste of stale poo in a dry diaper. Then the croissant would be the obvious choice.”

“Ewww” Val’s nose turns up at the visual. “I can’t believe she was charmed by that.” 

Matty’s eyebrow perks up. “Oh, she was, was she?”

“Fuck off, like you didn’t know. They could probably see the bedroom eyes she was giving you from bloody space.” 

The shirt he’s wearing rides up as he crosses his hands behind his head, subtle flex in his biceps. “Well, looks like I still got it.” 

Doesn’t she know it. Flashbacks of the incident erupt behind her eyes. His hand up her skirt.  His filthy words. His fingers as he sucked them clean of her. No no no no no.

Attacking his ego feels like safer ground. “Yes, congratulations, you can still pull undergrads.”

Matty opens his mouth to retort but then looks around, clocking the other patrons as if for the first time. “Jesus, was she that young? I can’t tell anymore.”

The same thought had occurred to Val every year she’d come back here.  “I know, right?! I feel like we were younger at that age.” She risks a glance up at him, finds his warm eyes focused on her. “If that makes any sense…” 

“Yea, I get it.” Matty always seemed to get it, to get her. 

Val isn’t sure if it’s the familiar surroundings or the memories that they unlock, but as they talk, the tension that laced each word when they first sat down is easing. Enough that she remembers the man in front of her, the kind of person he was. Is still probably. She’s flooded with feelings, confusing ones that have her heart in her throat, but also comforting ones, friendly ones, nostalgic ones. She missed this. Missed him. She wonders if he feels it too. 

A comfortable lull settles over them. The half-empty sugar packet spills onto the table as she fiddles with it. For the first time since they reentered each other’s lives, it feels easy to talk to him. 

She takes a deep breath, “Listen, I -“ 

Just as he starts to say “About that night -“

Their words collide and they fall silent again. For the first time in she doesn’t know how long (yes she does), the fog of loneliness that followed her around like an imaginary friend had lifted. She felt lighter, the world a little less gray. She wanted to hold onto that feeling and he was going to fuck it all up. What would she even say?! Oh, that night? You mean the one where I almost exposed my years long lo- CRUSH - on you? Came on to you? At our workplace? Mistook your concern for interest, like I always have. That night?! Nope, no memory of it at all. The feminist in her - who sounds an awful lot like Marin - screams that this isn’t a completely accurate characterization, it taking two to tango and all. But Val’s also a champion at self-criticism - Olympic gold-level really - and she’s the one who’d drunkenly started it. She can’t blame him for trying to finish it, even if it was a monumentally stupid idea. 

The tension was back. She needed to get control of the conversation. “You first.” Always a gentleman. A good man. Someone she needed to have in her life again, even if it’s not in exactly the way that she wants. 

“I was going to say, I uh I missed this. Us.” Her chair scrapes as she sits up with the force of gathering her courage for the next part. She’s spent almost ten years rehearsing her next words, in texts she never sent. The words tumble out of her before she can lose her nerve. “I’m sorry I was such a shit friend back then - “She throws up a hand to silence the retort she knows is on the tip of his tongue. “No, just don’t. I was, even if I had a good reason.”

He sits back, palms up in response. “But I’m here now and I’d like a second chance at it. Being friends again…..if you’ll let me, I mean.”

The breath she takes gets stuck somewhere around her ribs, probably because her heart is in her throat. Please Matty. I need this, need to feel like I haven’t fucked everything in my life up. I still haven’t figured out exactly how to be around you but I’m trying. Just give me time. I promise, nothing that you have to go to HR about.

She used to be able to read him so well, curses herself once again for the distance between them that makes understanding his expression now impossible. Matty hasn’t taken his eyes off her, squinting his right eye as if looking for something. 

Val’s just about to word vomit something out onto the table when he clears his throat, putting her out of her misery. “Yea, uhm, I mean, yea. Course we can.“

Relief is palpable, she understands that phrase now, her shoulders sinking down from her hairline with his words. Thank god.“Good. Then I won’t feel bad about telling you that I forgot my wallet and I need you to buy me a sticky bun.” 

His laugh, she thought, that’s what she’d missed most of all. 

[wanderingblindly]

Hi love,hope you’re having a beautiful day.

I feel very much at home whenever I’m reading anything you write.guess that’s what lead me into asking you this question.I’ve been struggling with socializing quite a lot.it’s my second year in uni and I haven’t managed to make any friends.I was just thinking how you got through your uni days and did you struggle as well. Please ignore this if you feel uncomfortable talking about the subject.

Hi darling anon!! I had a really lovely day, I hope you did too!!

I'd like to start this answer off a few different ways, and I'm not sure which is best. I'm glad this feels like a safe space for you to talk about some things that may be really sensitive, and I'm sorry you're going through such a struggle. It's hard feeling like there are milestones or expectations you're meant to hit but "missing" them, and it's even harder when you don't exactly know what you've done wrong.

This ask made me reflect on my own time in college. I went to a school on the other side of the country where I didn't know anyone, so I felt immensely stressed about finding "my people" -- especially since I came from an inseparably tight friend group back home.

And, for most of college, I didn't feel like I managed that.

I had friends in the sense that I had people to like... wave to on campus, maybe people I would passively text to hang out, but I didn't have many who understood me deeply. A feeling that lingered a lot during those days was that I was somehow doing college incorrectly -- that I was wasting the years where people built forever friendships.

I was lucky in the sense that I had one phenomenal friend I made as a fluke (we met during orientation and ended up being neighbors in the dorms), but I think a lot about what I would have done if I didn't have her.

I wish I was able to give you some advice here beyond the generic "join clubs!", "find a study group!", "talk to people in your classes!". But I never really solved this problem myself. However, reflecting on my university years now (as someone 5+ years out of university), it would be this:

Sometimes you have to push someone from being a classmate to a friend, a coworker to a friend, an acquaintance to a friend. Sometimes it doesn't happen naturally. You have to be brave and ask someone to get coffee after class, even if you've never talked to them one on one before. And sometimes that won't result in anything -- sometimes they won't click with you. But that's ok.

I look back at college Liquid and wish that they were brave enough to get dinner with the coworkers that they liked. Those coworkers stayed coworkers, but maybe we could have been more if I had been willing to endure the embarrassment of being seen trying.