#Me trying to be normal I am I’m trying so hard

[thedeadstoryteller1]

Sweet Dreams/ Zanye Spice Fanfic

I finished putting on the last coat of mascara when my phone chimes.  

It’s a message from Zayne: 

Emergency surgery tonight. I’m sorry. Don’t wait for me. I will make it up. 

I let out a groan of annoyance and toss my phone on the bed. For the past month, Zayne has been working overtime at the hospital, with a shortage of medical staff running like the plague. This is the third time he’s had to cancel our dinner plans. I understand the work he does is important; hell, he works so much so he could find a cure to save me from my illness. However the feeling of disappointment and sadness never fails to creep in. I stare at myself in the vanity mirror, disheartened again for having my hair and makeup done so nicely, just for it to go to waste. My hair in loose curls, I spent hours trying to blow it out to give it volume. I was even wearing his favorite earrings and I did a soft glam look. My big statement was the red lipstick that he’d help me choose when we went shopping.  With Zayne’s irregular work hours and my crazy job schedule, we’ve hardly seen each other at all since I moved in with him. It’s been so empty without him here at night, since there are times he’s been sleeping at the hospital. I knew tonight wouldn't be any different; “don’t wait for me” means he's not coming home. Looking at the dress hanging on the closet door a small sigh escapes my lips. I grab my makeup wipes and proceed to take off the freshly finished look. 

“I guess I’ll put you back in the closet…again.” I clean up the vanity and throw the dress in our shared walk in closet. Knowing him, he will pick it up and realize I’m not happy. 

After a few minutes of sulking I decided to hop in the shower again. Washing my hair using my strawberry scented shampoo and his favorite smelling body wash “Jasmine Flower”, I let my sadness out and shed a few tears. Everyone told me about the hard reality of dating a doctor. Zayne, however, always made time and put in so much effort to balance his work life and our life together. That’s why I can’t stay mad at him, no matter how many times I feel this sadness or disappointment. I know it breaks him just as much as me. 

Stepping out of the shower, I let my hair air dry. Normally I’d wear an oversized t-shirt to bed but tonight I went with my silky white lingerie dress. In the slight off chance that he does come home, I wanted to punish him a little bit. Not wearing any panties as well would send him into overdrive.  The very thought of him losing control makes me bite my lip. Flustered, I take it as a sign to go to bed. Following my nightly routine I pick up my phone and text Zayne three simple words. 

I love you

 I place my phone on the nightstand and hop into bed. The scent of Zayne’s cologne on the bed sheets is so faint, a few tears stream down my as I doze off slowly. I’m not sure how much time has passed when I hear the sound of footsteps. Opening my eyes slightly, the clock on my nightstand reads 2:30 am. He’s home?

Zayne is quiet as ever taking off his suit and watch. I know he places them all neatly in his side of the closet. I hear a small “hmm”... he’s definitely picked up the dress and placed it neatly in its home. He jumps into bed beside me. Normally he would shower after coming home from the hospital; he must be exhausted. 

He wrapped his arms around me, pulling my back closer to his chest. I can’t help but let out a small moan; his scent is intoxicating. The smell of hospital and his regular cologne fill the air. Cucumber with mint makes him smell fresh but with an underline of sweet notes like jasmine and lavender. He knows it is my favorite. 

“Shouldn’t you be sleeping.” He whispers in my ear. My body twitches at the sounds of his voice. I push myself closer to him, placing my ass perfectly on his bulge. He’s wearing just his boxers. His hands move down to my breast, my silky lingerie straps start to fall down my shoulders. 

“I’m sorry.” he says while placing small kisses on my neck's sweet spot.  

“Dr. Zayne, you missed our appointment.” I groan tiredly.  My fingers find his hair, tugging softly. His little moan causes my cunt to vibrate. Feeling his breath against my neck, I turn to face him. His green eyes turned dark with lust. 

“My apologies. Let us start your physical.” He huffs before placing his lips against mine. His soft lips part, sliding his tongue in my mouth. The kiss grows deeper as I grind on him. With each second passing, we pull each other closer. With his hand on my breast, his thumb and index finger make small circles on my hard nipple. We gasp for air, it's been so long since we’ve felt each other's embrace. I craved his body like the desert craves water, and it looked like Zayne craved me too. 

I feel Zayne’s rock hard cock twitching with anticipation, he breaks away from our kiss. He positions himself on top of me. His ears are red and his cheeks are burning hot, and our eyes lock for a moment. No words needed to be spoken. I knew what he was saying. 

I miss you. 

For a moment he admires my figure. Scanning me intently, his breathing is heavy and my cunt is yearning to feel his touch. 

“You’ll need to remove your clothes, so I can properly examine you.” His hand tugs at my lingerie slightly. 

“Y- yes Dr. Zayne.” I pull my lingerie off and over my head, fully exposing my body. Zayne’s eyes glimmer as he takes in my form. His hands travel from my waist, his finger tips moving slowly up my torso. Caressing my skin softly, his touch and the cold breeze send goosebumps down my back. Before anything else can be said he leans over and places his mouth on my right nipple. He sucks slightly on it while moving his tongue around in small circles. A bolt of electricity jumps through me, causing me to moan loudly. His hand makes his way to my wet cunt, using his fingers he teases my inner labia. With up and down motions, seeming like he’s going to finger me. Instead he rubs my clit, causing my legs to shake.  

Zayne’s fingers move slowly around my throbbing clint. My hips sway to his rhythm, the feeling of him touching me is enough to make me explode. I moan his name with each circular motion. 

“Z-z-Zayne.” I cry. His mouth leaves my nipple, and he is once again towering over me, admiring how flustered I am. Closing my eyes with the pleasure,   I know he has a small smirk. He knows what he is doing to make me submit to him. He knows I’m his and his only. Before any more seconds pass, he slides his fingers inside me. My back arches, his fingers moving slowly at first, but his tempo increases with each moan that escapes my lips. 

“You're so wet and hot, darling.” he mutters under his breath. “I want to taste you.” Zayne gives me no time to process his words. He quickly removes his fingers and replaces them with his tongue, throwing my legs over his shoulders. His hands hold onto my thighs for support, while his warm sweet tongue explores me like never before. His ferocious licking sends shockwaves throughout my whole body. He spends his time licking my clit, the rubbing motion of his tongue makes my legs start to shake.  

“Z-zayne, I-I’m close baby.” I struggled with my words, the feeling of sweet orgasm so close. 

“Wait for me.” Zayne doesn't hesitate, his boxers flying off the bed.  

“Zayne … I love you.” I say, with that he shoves his cock deep into my pussy. We both let out a loud moan. I grab onto the sheets as he starts stroking. He hits my g-spot everytime as he leans over me, his face buried in my neck. I let go of the sheets and find their way onto his back. My nails make their way into his soft skin; I make sure I don’t hurt him by going too deep. 

“Mhmm.” Zayne moans. “I love you.” he whispers back into my ear. His right hand cups my cheek, while his left hand is used for support so he doesn't crush me. The sound of his grunts in my ear makes my stomach do flips. The feeling of him inside me, stroking hard sends my body into overdrive. I don’t know how much longer I can hold in my orgasm. I want to cum all over his dick, I want to feel his sweet, hot cum inside of me. 

Zayne takes his arms and slides them underneath me and he lifts me up, placing me perfectly on top of him. He holds me close as he continues to drive his dick deep into my cervix. It’s amazing how strong he is, catching a glimpse of his arm muscles flexing. I’m on top of him but he’s doing all the work. I press my forehead to his, locking eyes with him again, his beautiful green eyes gaze into mine. 

“Zayne.” I pant. 

“Cum with me.” He moans.

“Together.” I say as I stare into his eyes. 

No words can describe the sweet feeling of release. He fills me up, causing me to ascend into euphoria. His hot cum inside my body makes me arch my head back, as I let myself go onto him. He holds me close however, not letting me leave his face. He pants profusely, trying to catch his breath. Losing all my strength, I turn into watery mush in his arms. He holds me up, embracing me even harder as he is still inside me. His strength will never cease to amaze me. 

The moon shines brightly into the room, illuminating us. My hair is draped over his face as I continue to lay on top of him, our foreheads still pressed together. His eyes shine brighter. I’m so in love with you, I think to myself. 

“You’re so beautiful in the moonlight.” He says softly, as he kisses my lips again. It’s passionate, two lovers kissing each other again, like it's the last time they will ever get the chance to do so. 

I move away, trying to catch my breath. He smiles, causing me to melt all over again. 

“Don’t leave…please.” I beg him, I blush, trying to hold back the tears. The thought of him having to go back to work breaks my heart into two. 

“I’ve cleared my schedule. We’ll go to the Arctic tomorrow and spend the week there.” 

“B-B-But my work .. I’ve haven't clear-.”

“I've already cleared it with Jenna.” He cuts me off. “ She agrees with. You’ve been working so hard. So its Doctors orders. You rest.”  He whispers. 

I smile, and hug him harder than before. 

“Dr.Zayne. I love you.” I laugh. 

He chuckles slightly and holds me again. 

“Let’s get some sleep my love.” 

We end the night holding each other until we both fall asleep. Tonight I know he won’t have any nightmares, but sweet dreams. For he is smiling in his sleep.

[its-not-jazz-hands]

My favorite hannigram coded songs

‼️these are all just my own opinion don’t get too worked up‼️

The Essence - Aurora

this is the perfect song imo to sum up Will’s thoughts during the three year period he was ignoring Hannibal.

“In another life, home feels like home.

I’ve mourned you now. Longer than I’ve known you”

AHH HOME NOT FEELING LIKE HOME WITH MOLLY AND TRYING TO STOP MOURNING FOR HANNIBAL. The fact that 3 years is pretty much longer/close to the same time he’d known him for so “I’ve mourned you longer than I’ve known you” HITS SO HARD

And the chorus UGH

“I try and I try,

but it hurts too much..

to be in touch.

So I’d rather not.”

AHHH SCREAMING

ID RATHER NOT? IM DYING

Close Your Eyes - The Backstreet Lovers

EVERY‼️SINGLE‼️LINE‼️IS‼️SO‼️WILL‼️GRAHAM‼️ again this one feels very season three but right when Wills being asked to help against the dragon.

“Pick up the phone. When he calls you. You know he’s alone. He’s preaching cause he loves you”

those lines feel so much like Hannibal trying to contact Will and him answering it.

“Where have you been? Jack’s been waiting.”

I MEAN COME ONNNN

“Could you waste your life? If you’ve painted mine? Now the day has died. But it’s too late, to close you eyes..”

AHH SO MUCH THEM ITS TOO LATE FOR WILL TO LIVE A NORMAL LIFE HIM AND HANNIBAL HAVE CHANGED EACH OTHER TOO MUCH

“Oh I’d hate to get any older” as that’s repeated at the end of the song the climax of that feels very much like Will throwing them off the cliff together🩷

I’m Your Man - Mitski

“You’re an angel, I’m a dog. Or your a dog and I’m you man. You believe me like a god. I’ll destroy you as I am. I’m sorry I’m the one you love.. No one will ever love me like you again? So when you leave me, I should die. I deserve it, don’t I?”

EVERY SINGLE WORD IS SO ELOQUENTLY HANNIBAL OH MY GOD

“NO ONE WILL EVER LOVE ME LIKE YOU AGAIN”⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️

I could literally post every single line from this song and it’s be the most gut wrenching heartbreaking hannigram thoughts you could ever have. THE WAY BOTH HAVE BETRAYED EACH OTHER BUT STILL NEED EACH OTHER IS SO ENRICHED IN THIS SONG

And the last line

“You believed me like a God. I betrayed you like a man”

FEELS SO SEASON 2 ENDING AHHH and the ending of the song with the vocals and dog barking fading in the background is such a Will Graham fading out of consciousness after being stabbed in the gut in a pool of his own blood AH

A thank you for reading my ramblings:

[torturedlexdepartment]

Tidal Wave

JJ Maybank x fem reader

Author's note: another CA repost 😅🤣 i really was OBSESSED

Warnings: SMUT, smoking, drinking, masturbation, fingering, somnophilia, oral (rem receiving), choking, biting, hair pulling, dom JJ, sex under the influence

Summary: after a talk about your kinks earlier in the night, JJ can't help but try to bring some of them to life

You and JJ were sitting by the fire outside of the chateau. The shack was basically your second home. You and your friends were hosting a party. The yard was packed with people from the island and a couple of tourons. This was one of your favorite parts of summer. You were already really buzzed when you decided to share a joint with JJ. One of your favorite extracurricular activities to do with your best friend.

You and JJ always had the most interesting conversations during your smoke sessions. You took way too much of a rip off the joint before passing it back to JJ and coughed your lungs out. He grinned, trying hard not to laugh at you.

“Always trying to bite off more than you can chew Y/N.” He teased.

“Don’t be a dick or I’m not sharing my pot with you anymore.” You playfully shoved him and he huffed.

“Hey now, no need to be hasty.” He passed the joint back to you and you finished the rest in silence. You were definitely crossfaded by the last rip and you felt like you were floating.

“You know what we never talked about before Y/N?”

“What?”

“What our kinks are.” Your cheeks flushed with embarrassment for a second but you were super intrigued to learn what your highly attractive friend liked in bed.

“You first.”

“Hmm, I like it when a girl tugs at my hair, not even gonna lie. And lets me have my way with her.” He smirked, all proud while you cocked your brow at him. You tried your hardest not to clench your thighs together at the thought of him being so dominant. “What about you huh?”

“Choking, biting, hair pulling, ya know the normal stuff. But also there’s something I’ve always fantasized about but haven’t gotten to experience.” That caught his attention. “Okay so don’t judge me but I am really turned on by the thought of someone teasing and touching me while I’m unconscious.” You almost regretted letting the words leave your mouth until you saw the look on JJ’s face. He couldn’t hide the smirk if he tried.

“You mean like having someone fuck you in your sleep?” You nodded and he had to bite his tongue. JJ put his best poker face at what you just revealed to him. He didn’t want you to know that his cock twitched in his shorts at the thought of him being able to make you cum when you were in your most vulnerable state.

“Sounds hot.” His reaction surprised you and the smile on his face had you feeling flustered all of a sudden. You always found him sexy. Especially under the influence but tonight felt different. This whole conversation had you incredibly hot and bothered and it frustrated you that you had no way to relieve yourself. You were half tempted to ask JJ but you were always worried your attraction was one-sided and it wasn’t worth risking the friendship no matter how horny you were.

You both kept talking about random things for a while before Kie and Sarah stole you away for some dancing around the fire. You didn’t notice how JJ was eyeing you the whole time, your previous conversation replaying over and over in his mind. He watched you sway to the music as he sipped his beer. He often fantasized about what it would be like to kiss you, to taste you, what it would feel like to be inside of you. But the whole kink conversation had him even deeper in his feelings. If only he realized that his attraction wasn’t one-sided.

Another hour or so went by and the party started to dissipate. You were way too wasted to go home, a common occurrence after these parties. You stayed at the chateau often. Usually on the couch but sometimes JJ would offer for you to share the bed with him in the spare bedroom. You weren’t sure where he was at when you decided to turn in for the night. You told all the other pogues you were heading to bed. You groaned when you entered the room. It was the middle of summer and it was hot as hell, this room always seemed to get stuffy. You walked over to the window to crack it.

You didn’t even give it a second thought before you were stripping down to your bra and panties. There was no way you were going to survive sleeping fully dressed. You climbed into the bed and didn’t even bother to cover up with the blanket. The effects of the pot and alcohol together still had you feeling amazing. Unfortunately, all it did was make you insanely horny. And it was torture because you had no one to help you out.

You decided the only option you had was yourself. You laid on your back and closed your eyes and started teasing yourself by playing around with your nipples. They were always so sensitive when you were this turned on. It didn’t take much for you to get wet in this euphoric state. You slid your hand down your panties and started lazily rubbing your clit. You were still so high that you didn’t catch yourself starting to fall asleep while you attempted to fuck yourself. You gave up on the fact and turned over and drifted off to sleep quickly. You were sleeping deeply by the time JJ made his way into the bedroom.

“Y/N, you still awake?” Your silence gave him his answer as he walked across the room, stripping off his boots. He didn’t realize you were half-naked until he was just feet away from the bed. He stopped to do a double-take before sitting on the bed next to you. He admired you sleeping soundly for a few moments before he covered you up with the blanket. He tried to push away all his dirty thoughts of you being only in your underwear in his bed. He had wondered if you did this on purpose. He tried hard to snap out of those thoughts as he made himself comfortable and laid down next to you.

You had rolled over onto your back when you felt his weight shift next to you. You started mumbling in your sleep and he figured that you must have been dreaming. He laid facing you, still in the middle of an internal battle with himself on what he was going to do. He knew it was probably wrong but all he could think about was helping you out with your fantasy. It took him a few minutes but he was finally able to shut himself down and roll over away from you.

Only a couple of minutes had passed before he heard you rambling in your sleep again. This time he could make out some words.

“Please just touch me.” You mumbled, barely loud enough for him to hear. He tried hard to ignore you but his eyes shot open when he heard his name fall from your lips. “JJ, I need you.” He quickly rolled over and almost completely fell apart at the sight next to him. You were still asleep but had managed to slide your hand back into your panties. It was the hottest thing he had ever seen in his life. Hearing his name come from your mouth felt like permission enough for him to do what he wanted all night.

He started by replacing your hand with his, as gentle as possible. He could feel himself get instantly hard when he felt how soaked you were. Your breathing intensified when you felt his fingers toying with you. You were having the sexiest dream ever, not realizing that it was a part of your reality. His fingers felt way better than your own. He was slow about his movements, taking his time enjoying the sweet sounds escaping your lips.

He was getting off in his own way getting to pleasure you. He dove his digits down and slid one inside of you. You arched your back immediately and he couldn’t help himself. He started placing sweet kisses on the side of your neck as he plunged his finger in and out of you. He added another one and his mind went crazy imagining fucking you with his cock. You were so tight around just his fingers, he knew you were going to be the death of him.

After a few minutes of this, his neediness was starting to get the better of him. He wanted to do more. He removed his fingers from you and slipped down in between your legs. He hooked his fingers in the waistband of your panties and started sliding them down your legs. He started cursing to himself when he caught the first glance at your soaking wet pussy. It was no doubt the prettiest pussy he had ever laid his eyes on. He spread your legs wide for him and licked his lips.

He started out by kissing the inside of your thighs tenderly. He noticed your breathing deepen even more before he licked one slow stripe up the center of your heat. You still thought you were in the middle of the best dream ever and you knew exactly what was happening. He smiled into your pussy when he felt you buck your hips into his face. He paid extra attention to your clit with his tongue as he slipped his fingers back inside of you.

You moaned out and he stopped for a second, thinking you woke up. But went back to his devilish actions when he realized you were still unconscious. He realized he had found that sweet spot inside of you as you grew louder and louder every time his fingers grazed it. He could feel you starting to clench around them and he started sucking on your clit harshly. All he wanted to do was make you cum and lick you clean. Your pussy was the sweetest thing he had ever tasted and he knew he would never get enough. He prayed this wasn’t going to be a one-time thing as he felt your hands tug at his hair. Your eyes fluttered open and you quickly realized that you weren’t dreaming at all. Your ultimate fantasy was playing out right before your eyes.

“Fuck, JJ don’t stop.” His eyes met yours as he continued to devour you. He was even more determined to make you cum now that you were awake. You throwing your head back in pleasure was something he swore he’d never get out of his mind as the band inside you snapped and you covered his face with your release. He didn’t stop lapping at you until there was nothing left to clean up. He kissed up your stomach until he reached your lips.

“Baby, please let me fuck you.” He begged and that’s all you wanted to hear. You needed his cock inside of you.

“Please.” You whimpered and he crashed his lips into yours, the taste of yourself still present on his tongue. You removed your bra and started tugging at his shirt and he pulled it over his head, throwing it on the floor. He admired your tits for a moment before he came back down to kiss you, much deeper than before. You enjoyed kissing him but you were growing more and more impatient. You grabbed for his cock through his shorts, earning you a low groan. You helped him out of his shorts and boxers, his cock springing against his stomach. You bit your lip in anticipation as he rested himself back in between your legs.

He started rubbing his cock through your folds to tease you and left hungry kisses on the side of your neck. You gasped out in relief when he slowly started inching himself into you. His was stretching you out more than anyone else ever had. You would never get enough of feeling this full. You reattached your lips to his as he slowly started thrusting in and out of you.

“You feel so good around me princess.” He was fucking you softly but you craved more. Call it the inner animal in you but you wanted him to completely destroy you.

“J, I want you to have your way with me. Ruin me, make me fall apart.” Your words made him do flips inside.

“I”m going to fuck you so good, you’re going to get wet at the sound of my name.” He growled in your ear and started pounding into you mercilessly. He felt so incredible inside of you, that you worried about how long you were going to last. He started biting your neck and you clawed at his back, both of you leaving marks to claim each other. His moans were almost as loud as yours and it was the hottest thing you had ever experienced. You knew your friends had to be able to hear you, but neither of you cared.

He grabbed both of your arms and used one of his hands to pin them over your head. His other hand went to tighten around your neck. It seemed like he remembered every single part of your conversation earlier in the night. You had never been this dominated in bed and you loved every second of it. You knew he was going to ruin you for anyone else. You could feel your orgasm bubbling in your stomach and he could tell by the way you were squeezing his cock.

He was right about how you would feel and you being so tight. It was way better than any fantasy he had about you over the past few years. You were finally under him, falling apart for him. He would never let you go after this.

“I”m gonna cum.” As much as he wanted to hear those words, he didn’t want it to be over this quickly.

“No baby, hold it. Wait for me.” You looked up at him pleadingly.

“J, I can’t.” He groaned and pulled out of you, flipping you onto your stomach before you could even comprehend what was happening.

“Knees now.” His stern tone came as a surprise but you obeyed. He was back inside of you within seconds. He leaned down to grab you by your hair and you cried out. This new position made it easier for him to completely rail the shit out of you. You were going to be hurting in the morning but that’s what you get for asking for it. “That’s right Y/N, take me. This pussy is mine, got it?” You didn’t say anything right away and his grip on your hair tightened.

“Yes JJ, it’s all yours. I’m all yours.” You loved him being possessive. You could feel his cock start to twitch inside of you, signaling that he was close. This position had him deeper than before and you were going to fall apart any second.

“Fuck, cum with me Y/N.” Right on cue, your walls started pulsating around him sending shockwaves of pleasure throughout your whole body. He was filling you up seconds later. You relished in the feeling of him painting your walls with his spend. He placed sweet kisses on your shoulder before pulling out of you and collapsing next to you on the bed. You both needed a few moments to recover from the best sex either one of you ever had.

“Did you mean what you said? That I’m yours.” You asked him and he gave you a smirk.

“If you want to be.” Of course, that’s all you wanted after he gave you the best night of your life.

“Okay, are there any other kinks you’re wanting to try out?” His eyebrows raised, pleased with your words.

“Hmmm, I can think of a couple.” He kissed you, rolling back on top of you. Your night was far from over.

[salemwazowski]

I’m trying to be normal about Slayer in Strive I am guys I am. But I will not be normal about BOB IN TEKKEN 8 GUYS IF THAT EVER HAPPENS

[wickmitz]

I decided to start talking about Wick and Rocky's relationship because I like their dynamics too, I like seeing Wick scared of Rocky and Rocky being aggressive with him, which is unusual because Rocky is rarely aggressive with anyone, but of course Wick is an exception to rule

Also my mini opinion about their possible relationship, I think that if Rocky didn't have to fight for his place, then he and Wick could become friends, or at least tolerate each other a little, I also see some superficial similarities, their gentlemanly and romantic natures, and their common love for explosions (remembering the quarrymen chapter), but this is my assumption, I think that I don't understand the characters' personalities well, so I can be wrong in this assumption, something like that. So, what do you think about their relationship?

for starters, i cannot thank you enough for this ask! as i’ve said previously, i have many thoughts on these two, so it’s nice to finally be able to share some of them. although given the extent to which i think about them, i apologize in advance if this is sloppy and sort of everywhere … while i’ll try to structure things the best i can, i cannot promise i’ll succeed! but hopefully this is an enjoyable reply nonetheless.

one of my favorite things about rocky and wick’s relationship is absolutely how aggressive rocky is towards the aristocrat ; he is prone to glares and cruel jokes and borderline hissing whenever the man is within his line of sight, or can be brought to a wailing-fit over the mere mention of his name from miss m’s mouth. there is a childishness to it, but a very prominent threat as well in spite of rocky’s usual incompetence. so he goes out of his way to posture around wick, readily lying and adorning himself with the gangster drapes he so badly wants to wear, in the hopes that it intimidates … will even badmouth wick’s family and make fun of his name and rock related obsession to mitzi, and so on so forth! yet all of this is very reminiscent of schoolyard bullying rather than anything too severe, though we as the audience understand rather quickly that rocky would bash wick’s head in with a tire iron if he could. ( translation : if it wouldn’t earn the tears or hate of a certain beloved mitzi may ) and it’s all very intense despite the absence of actual violence! and i understand why many fans see this as unusual for rocky and believe that it’s only wick who makes him act so aggressively, but i’d argue it isn’t really wick at all that prompts such scary reactions from him … and that rocky is a deeply angry character who’s a.) been boiling quietly for a long, long time and b.) has turned wick into a punching bag of sorts for this inner world of resentment and hurt. basically, when he’s judging the well-to-do or poking fun, his eyes don’t look at wick and actually acknowledge him as sedgewick sable ; instead this is a being, something vague and metaphorical, who threatens to upseat rocky’s permanence in the lackadaisy and steal away his savior, and he’s had a hand in the violinist’s misfortune for a long time.

obviously, rocky doesn’t think wick robbed him of his family twice over and made him homeless, but he is channeling the fear and anguish of those events into his loathing for wick, if that makes sense? it’s easier that way -- to finally have an outlet for everything bleeding inside of you, to be able to bite and claw at something without feeling conflicted or having to take personal accountability for your own mistakes … which is something that i think rocky does struggle with to a degree. he is sort of a finger pointer! his pain has to be worth something, it has to be for someone else ; spending years homeless and losing his last bit of family was for freckle, and the scrambling of his literal brain was for mitzi, and that means he can’t ever be angry with them! well, except that he is, somewhat, but he buries it deep down instead of feeling it. with freckle there is a sense of strain between them -- an air of ‘you owe me’ from rocky to freckle as he uses freckle to appease miss m, and he constantly pokes fun at his cousin too. it’s lighter than his jabs at wick, but there’s a constant pestering, a reminder of how good freckle has it : how he’s got the mom and the house and the job and the girl most notably. i don’t think rocky is intending to come across as mean, and to his credit he hardly does! but it’s rather clear to me that some part of him, some hidden and deeply hurt part, is rather indignant about taking the fall for freckle all those years ago. which he can’t understand, because how could he? he made that choice, he decided to take accountability for something he didn’t do because he loves freckle and knows it’d be so easy to believe this family tragedy was roark’s fault ; the devilish child he was, all troublesome and too broken to properly fit anywhere. so there is a disconnect born here, where rocky can’t comprehend that he’d be angry at freckle, so instead these not so great feelings are placed elsewhere and silently boil over time. and with mitzi … i don’t think he’s angry at her per se, but there is a frustrated and desperate chorus of : why him and why not me, when i’m the one out here dying for you? which is certainly unpleasant. of course, rather than allowing those feelings to be more aimed at miss m, whom he feels unloved by, he ( again! ) represses these emotions and allows them to fester into his greatest fears and fantastical complexes. i think there is a lot of other miscellaneous anger he could have towards others too … perhaps some part of him is sore upon seeing ivy’s normal lifestyle, watching her go to university and knowing that’s been taken from him. or an ache felt when hearing stories from zib and the band and how they used to travel successfully, living as nomads, and rocky is all too reminded of his similar lifestyle and how he couldn’t make it work as effortlessly. people with immense trauma are more prone to irrational anger and jealousy, to viewing everything around them as unfair and believing it’s even more unjust that so many people get to live comfortably while they’ve suffered. a situation that gets more messy when you’re someone like rocky, a man who’s willingly made choices that have harmed himself and wants to continue on with his smiling, bumbling fool of an act. he does not want to be angry, does not want to see it within himself, i think, which leads to an accidental increase of it.

all of this is to reiterate that wick is a scapegoat for rocky and nothing more. it’s why he’s rather hypocritical whenever it concerns the man. for example, it was stated by tracy that he looks down upon wick for his excessive presence at the bar, yet he appears to enjoy hanging out with zib -- who drinks just as often! he makes fun of how all wick ever talks about is rocks, when he himself is prone to poetry rambles that people find irritating or boring, and etc etc. this is also just a human nature thing, to critique someone you heavily dislike and even going as far as to belittle things you love or do in your own day to day because you just hate them that bad! but given rocky’s willingness to befriend anyone, it more so reeks of a dehumanization element. wick is every obstacle in his way, every divine force that threatens to send him packing again, so he is equal parts unnerved by wick’s presence and angry about it. it is mostly a fear response we are seeing, an emotion that’s morphed into long held resentment and anger. so his actions are extremely defensive, with him trying to push wick far away and keep him and mitzi separate, like some sort of animal attempting to ward off a threat that’s come too close to their home. despite the loaded animosity there, this hate has hardly reached its peak … but it shall only grow more intense as things continue onward i’m afraid, since as it stands ( in the comic at least ) rocky is at an all time low … and is ten times more desperate. i’d honestly say wick has become so warped in his mind’s eye that he can only strive towards ‘winning’ over the other man, because that’s all he can see anymore. i think mitzi implying that wick willingly helped her out, the intense head injury, and rocky’s fragile emotional state is exactly what pushes him towards premeditated murder in look-see. i don’t know how people perceive that arc, but to me it’s very clear that rocky actively sought to see the deaths of wes and fish that night. going as far as to lament that he’d be, “very disappointed if ( he ) dreamed them,” and purposefully luring the marigold duo away to have freckle pick them off. while you could argue that this was a smart move, in a gangster sort of sense, there’s still no denying that rocky is oddly chipper about the whole thing and is now seeking death out ; whereas before his methods of vengeance were just, well, ruining people’s livelihood but ultimately leaving them alive. this isn’t to discredit the fact that rocky is going through something! he is in a very muddled and dark place, mentally and physically, but even tracy has said that the head injury hasn’t changed rocky’s personality -- it’s only brought things to the surface.

source : q&a with tracy .

which, yeah! makes sense! head trauma can cause a person to become a wreck emotionally ( think mood swings, irritability, etc ) but it doesn’t completely morph someone either. personality changes may occur, but it’s not like you’re being rewritten entirely, you know? and given tracy’s old statement, it’s clear that ‘personality changes’ aren’t a side effect he’s suffering from. something that adds to my beginning statement, which is that rocky is a deeply angry and troubled person, more so than fans give him any credit for.

however, to touch upon your mini opinion about these two, i actually wholeheartedly agree that rocky and wick could become friends if circumstances were different. they do in fact have many superficial similarities, but one of the more prominent things they deeply share is never really belonging in the groups they frequent. this is more overt with rocky’s character, yet wick faces it too in subtle ways. the well-to-do crowd, seen through the investors, find the gentleman to be lacking in about every place imaginable ; to them he is an obsessive freak who cares too deeply for meager rocks, something they constantly mock him for, while he’s also being noticeably set apart from the rest of them … he seems younger than the investors, more excitable, passionate, and a little less experienced, and doesn’t seem to care for money or reputation as much as them either. there is a constant rubbing between him and them, where what he enjoys is seen as wrong, such as his love for the lackadaisy and his choice in paramor, a grieving widow with extremely dangerous ties. we also know that wick doesn’t have many friends at all, with the only two he has being lacy and church ( church is listed as such on his character profile, in a sort of tongue-in-cheek way ), both of whom work for or with him. they are obliged to hang around, and while they care in varying ways, they are prone to judging him just as much. honestly, it’s not shocking that wick seeks refuge at his chosen speakeasy! but even there he is rather distant from everyone else. he doesn’t speak to zib ever in the comics, nor seems all too close with viktor, ivy, or horatio … it is merely mitzi he is close to, even if he knows of the other people who work there. and, once again, wick very obviously doesn’t fit in. he is not gangster material, could never be an atlas may replacement, much less someone who could get his paws dirty in such an active way. so he has his feet in two different worlds and doesn’t know how to fit into either of them, or which one he actually wants to fit into more. i think in many ways rocky could relate -- these are two very lonely people who wish to belong somewhere and be accepted by some group or another but go about it in all the wrong ways. wick, who is too hesitant to fully commit to what he wants and is worse off for it, and then rocky, who obsessively throws himself against what he wants until he breaks every bone in his body. they also have explosives to bond over, lol, and other miscellaneous things like their taste in women i suppose … but this potential bond adds to the tragedy of lackadaisy, where we see two people who on every level should get along but we’re burdened with the knowledge that it’s an impossibility anyway, because there’s no removing the circumstance of which they’re in.

though i like to believe that despite wick’s fear of rocky, he maintains a kindness towards him regardless. i think his worries about rocky are rather surface level … he doesn’t know the boy at all, really, and thus can’t make heads or tails of him, hence him believing the lie in balderdash. so when i’m feeling particularly self indulgent, i like imagining a world where they’re forced together and sort of ‘stuck’ together ; to which rocky finally breaks and exposes his wounds to wick, in every sense of the word, and wick finally gets him. the aggression, the possessiveness of mitzi … it is all fear and desperation and a profound sadness, things he’d sympathize with. if rocky was able to explain that he loathes wick because if he saves the lackadaisy then mitzi won’t need him anymore and that it’s not fair that wick gets to so easily fix things when rocky would give his soul for his home, for her, and how wick could render every sacrifice he’s already made for naught by smoothing things over with some greenbacks and he can’t lose this, he just can’t --! … which, well, wick is too kind of a man to be able to do anything except feel awful, even though it’s not his fault at all. here we have two people who could coexist! and they should, since rocky logically can’t do every speakeasy job ( band member, rumrunner, mitzi’s shadow, also the guy who gets the money for the hooch ) by himself, just like how wick can’t save the lackadaisy with only his cash and limited booze stash. it’d be a joint cooperation, a collaboration between them, both equally important in the grand scheme of crime’s every turning wheel … but rocky’s rage and fear won’t let him see that, and likely never will. still, in scenarios where everything ends up alright for the lackadaisy and the people involved in it ( which is not how canon will go, by the way ), i fancy wick and rocky getting better within their relationship. rocky will always be prickly and quick to upset around the other man sadly, but perhaps he could see wick in a softer kind of light. or at least understand vaguely enough that he isn’t out to get rocky, so to speak. and then maybe wick learns that pancakes soothe rocky’s ire and poorly makes them anytime he wishes to talk to the man, and other fun things like that! but you should have more confidence in your character analysis skills, because you were spot on ( at least in my eyes ) about them potentially getting along if things were different. it’s certainly a fun aspect to play around with, and is important to note when discussing their relationship so you can fully understand just how warped rocky’s perspective on things are. and how unstable and traumatized he is too, of course </3 sidenote, but i also hope that throughout everything i’ve said here, or anything i’ve said before on my blog, that my love for rocky and my own sympathy for him comes across well enough. while he’s deeply flawed and i have no qualms discussing said flaws in depth, i also don’t think of him as some insane freak who’s evil at his core or anything like that. honestly, i adore analyzing him so much as a character because of how far down his issues go! he’s very well written, i’ll say, as is wick and many of the other characters, but i digress.

once more, thank you for the ask! i’ll end this here because i fear if i don’t i’ll start going in circles, since their relationship is so vast and very important for rocky in a character sense. hopefully i shed some more light on it though! i love these two to bits and pieces and i wouldn’t be half as invested in lackadaisy if their dynamic wasn’t so monumental -- at least to me.

[benzedrine-calmstheitch]

So I saw The Apprentice (2024) today, and came on this site to look for screen caps or gifs to reblog. But what I’ve found is a lot of publicity photos of Sebastian Stan and a few interviews about the film, but… nothing of the film itself. Which makes me think most of his fans who are blogging about him being in it aren’t actually watching it. And yknow, fair, it’s not an appealing log line, I get it.

But 1) he’s really good in it. And, more importantly, 2) it’s a good film and obviously Very Relevant right now!

I don’t know I just think at this point it’s such a given for some of us that he’s awful as much as it’s a given for others that he’s a Success, and these two groups of people have entirely forgotten to actually care about the fact that what we separately think is not the same thing. We should care about that! We should want this film! We should not be so averse to the complexity of human beings!

[green-cargaytions]

anyone else get that intense & debilitating need for approval from one specific person who almost by definition cannot give you approval

[thatweirdtranny]

it actually sucks how vegan spaces are so often culty because i love plant based recipes but it’s hard to find spaces that share those recipes that don’t resent me and others for no longer being vegan, it makes it harder to incorporate plant based meals back into my diet 🙃

[ratcandy]

had a really epic cry on a balcony last week and I’ve been longing for that balcony ever since . Was so cathartic I need to go back there

[great-tusk]

Thank you all for the well wishes. It means a lot.

[lavender-temult]

why do baby otohan’s colors look like fuckign TOOTHPASTE in this version 😭😭😭

[lavampira]

I do have to say it’s so hard to succumb to the brain weirds when I have a dog who only cares about being a massive weighted blanket for all the attention in the world

[lunar-years]

New 1989 outfit is fugly (I’m so sorry Taylor) but very reminiscent of 1989 tour (when many of the costumes were indeed also fugly 🫡)

The acoustic set outfit is also worse :(

Combining folklore and evermore is meh tbh like I don’t love that at all but I also completely see why it had to be done

I stared at the “this is not Taylor’s Version” t shirt for an embarrassingly long amount of time trying to figure out what on earth she was trying to say and I still think it’s not something that makes much sense out of context/accompanied by a side explanation and it was a weird choice for the shirt lmao.

ttpd set goes incredibly hard 100/10 NO NOTES.

her coming out in that same freaking reputation jumpsuit after changing every other outfit in the show was peak comedy (she’s so funny and we can never talk about that enough)

the entire shape of the show has changed imho so I think it’s fair for fans to be sad about missing last years half or missing this years half or about not getting to see certain songs or about not getting tickets at all to a show that was incredibly difficult and expensive to get tickets to in the first place. It feels like two separate shows. And we are allowed to express sadness or fomo without being dubbed immediately ungrateful/bad fans (obviously there’s a limit and legitimately complaining/getting mad at Taylor for doing her own show how she wants to do it/threatening to no longer go [lol, plenty of fans are in line to take your tickets] is goofy deadass, but)

I do wish she’d just done a separate ttpd tour (even if we had to wait several years and the tour was combined between ttpd and the next potential album) but I can also recognize that I’m mostly saying that because of how desperately I want to hear ttpd songs live and the knowledge I won’t be able to

I also think her deciding to add it now, combined with the general length and scope of eras tour, is evidence that she is planning to take a long break from touring once it’s over (NOT in the weird ‘she’s going to retire to have babies’ way!!! Just in an ‘I think she’s planning to take a touring break’ straightforward way)

I’ve seen some people already taking the transition from but daddy I love him into so high school as confirmation that their theory that the last verse is actually about Travis is correct. But as someone with song literacy, I merely take it as confirmation that Taylor saw the theory, thought it worked fabulously, and enjoys retconning her own songs to aid her own whims and happiness (which is so beyond real of her and also incredibly funny)

Playing so high school as the only anthology song for kicks and giggles was so cute of her she’s down soooo bad for that man

Midnights body suit is hotter than ever and she herself is also hotter than ever

Loml as the surprise song at THAT show after I’d made that post….you have to laugh LOL 🙃

If anyone has near face value tickets for sale for USA or Canada shows later this year I will genuinely offer you my firstborn child plus the money in exchange god bless

[oneguardian15]

oh my godddddddd i just started watching the blacklist with my mom like a week ago and i am literally SO obsessed! like the brainrot is REAL

help meee

[dnptheinfinity]

ashsgfshksgahja my second cousin invited me to his wedding and it’s not happening until september but i’m already so stressed

[the-casbah-way]

grabs my computer screen and starts shaking it how to cure gender dysphoria HOW TO CURE GENDER DYSPHORIA