#do i think there are bad actors in this phenomenon? yes

[sleepy-seal]

i hate how trying to constantly remind people of a character's canonical pronouns will get people whining about being "canceled" for being told to recognize some damn pronouns

[homesickn]

My Heart

Soft!dark Loki x Reader. (Ghostface!Loki)

Loki is your special guide on an acting play in Asgard. How will it turn out? It will certainly be a Scream!

(Scream-inspired, ghostface!Loki, he's a bit obsessive too, who could have guessed?)

Warnings: this fic is exclusively explicit +18, a lot of blood, Dom!Loki, angst (at least reader cries a lot), stalking, Loki is a bit mean at times, blood kink, murder, psychological horror, possessive Loki, obsessive Loki, dark!Loki, scared reader. Be safe! ;)

You were fixing your hair and taking a look at the fancy dressing options for the official play, taking place in the center of Asgard, a place properly dedicated for cultural artistic exposition.

A bunch of the most famous actors throughout all of Asgard were coming to interpret roles in the huge theater near the castle, as an official tradition. Asgard is often envied in the matter of culture and in their specific field of acting art.

You've never felt more treasured, it surely felt gifting to be able to experience such an unique phenomenon, to be invited to such a thing.

And you're human. It feels a whole lot to you.

Far away from your home on Earth.

As much as it bothered you, you had to keep your mind off the annoying sting in your chest. You came here for an honorable reason, to represent as a Midgardian diplomat, settled by Thor to help him with his rules and studies for Asgard and the other realms, as he already knew you, he thought you to be the perfect fit. You don't want to disappoint.

But this loneliness is unlike any other, you can't help but wonder how your family and friends are doing, at home. You could fully say with conviction that the only friend you have is the godly Avenger that swore to protect you through your journey out of your original realm.

You were okay with it, until you had to get down and face the real world. You wore the very detailed white royal dress that most appealed to your eyes, and went downstairs to meet with the known blond just waiting for your presence, awkwardly messing with his…formal, hero cape.

He says your name with hesitance, “I'm so sorry, my friend. I truly am, I won't be able to attend the event,” he expresses, you frown and press your hand to your heart.

“What? You're the only friend I have here, am I supposed to go alone?” You're quick to ask.

“You can go with Loki,” he mentions the dark prince, you blink.

Loki wasn't a bad man to you, from what you've known of him, you're not a judgemental person, you don't like going for other people's words. But he's known on Earth for being a murderer, you watched the news, even though you weren't present during the attack you still could feel the pain that all those victims went through. It felt like you're betraying them, like you're hurting them by thinking of befriending the god.

However, since you've shown up on Asgard, Loki has been nothing but amicable to you. You just hesitated considering him a friend, whatsoever, he's a person you've —unfortunately — come to admire.

Whenever he passes by your sight is attached to him, as if you've been hypnotized, he's charming, pleasing to be around, your sense of humor matches a lot from what you've had the pleasure of discovering of him.

“Loki?” You repeat, letting the name echo through the walls of the castle. You're momentaneously afraid you've summoned him with the name.

“Yes, he's not too bad,” Thor looks a bit embarrassed of having to state so. “He's kind when you spend time with him, I know he'll treat you well. And if there's one thing my brother loves more than anything, is the events that involve acting around here. You have to see just how bright his eyes sparkle when he watches the plays, and this one in particular is one of his favorites. We used to watch it with father when we were younger.” 

You were now enchanted by Thor's description, your eyes shining at the idea of having someone acknowledged to teach you more of something you already enjoy so much, you're also a huge fan of acting, and theatrical acting was a hidden passion you've always adored. 

The thought of Loki liking this so much excites you, because you love surrounding yourself with enthusiastic people, you love seeing them being passionate about what they love. You thought it wouldn't be so bad to have a guide, it is definitely a better option than to go just by yourself, or to refuse and stay in bed for the day.

“Well…” You think for a second, looking around then coming back to Thor. “I don't see why not.” You shrug your shoulders, the blond god gives you a bright smile and says he'll catch him for you.

You wait at the entrance, looking all like a real princess waiting for her prince to take her to a royal ball. 

“This is too fancy for me,” you look down at yourself, somehow feeling a sense of imposter syndrome. Feeling unbelonging, too human for this, it's way more than you could ever dream of. “I shouldn't be here.” 

“Now, why would you say such a thing?” A low soft voice asks you from nowhere, you jolt as you turn quickly, recognizing the owner of the voice.

Loki gulps as he shares eye contact with you, glancing down at your pretty dress, you take a moment to appreciate his beautiful princely outfit, black and green, with tiny golden sparkling details. His body seemingly just fit for the measures of the clothes, you think you've lost your breath for a second. 

He smirks as he catches you staring.

“Princess?” Your heart flutters a little, you swear your legs feel a bit shaky from the endearment. 

“I'm not a princess,” you hurry to correct, your cheeks heating up against your will.

“You look just like one. You can be a princess, and if you don't like it, you have the experience for the night.” He offers his hand to you with a charming smile.

“No one would believe I'm a princess, prince Loki.” You challenge him.

“They will if I treat you like one,” he licks his lips and his eyes give you such softness you could melt again. Another pang, the betrayal, the attack on Earth.

You're the one to gulp nervously now, taking your eyes off of him and looking to the road ahead.

“You don't need to, it's fine,” and you quickly hurry to change the subject before he can protest. “Shall we go? Otherwise we'll miss the time. Nobody likes being late.”

★

You and Loki arrive at the festival together, getting off the carriage, he offers his hand again when you're exiting, like a true gentleman.

There's a lot of drinking, dancing, and singing. The theater is still empty waiting for the actors to arrive. Your excitement is likely palpable, Loki could swear he feels it radiating off of you. 

“It's okay, princess,” he says loud enough for others to hear, placing his arms around you. You blush but refuse to protest, he gives you a knowing look and a mischievous smile. “We can have our fun before the show. Let me show you around all the cultural Asgardian beauty.”

They had a lot of variable types of drinks, a lot of dancing presentations for people to watch, and the singers had the most amazing intonations that your ears could be blessed to hear. You couldn't believe how lucky you were, to be able to humanely get in touch with the art from the gods themselves.

The harp brought an etheric touch to all the singing, the harsh intoning of the words whilst they sung something in their native languages, deep voices to match their godly vocal chords. Be it from the realm they were, your heart clenched in delight from all the admiring.

Loki was an impeccable guide, showing you some popular dishes, giving you the most delectable desserts, and watching the performances with you. Thor was right, you could see the special touch he had with art, it was as if he forgot everything else around him when he got close to it. 

“This play will be my favorite,” he musters and you stop to listen, carefully. His voice is low but the smile he's wearing really makes you interested in what he has to say. It's like a secret you're two are sharing.

“What's the name of the play?” You couldn't believe Thor hadn't told you this before, you felt a bit ignorant towards the conversation. Loki puts his hands on your back again to calm your nerves down.

“The Masquerade,” he almost whispers. Like a real secret, almost as if he could read you.

“Oooh,” you teasingly express. “The Masquerade, such an interesting name, will they wear the masks?” For a second you feel dumb to ask, Loki only laughs a little and rubs your back to comfort you.

“Yes, yes, they will. I truly hope you find it as beautiful as I do.” His eyes sparkle with a sprinkle of mischief among the kindness. 

“I probably will,” you say more to yourself than to him. If he thinks it's beautiful, there's one more reason for you to like it, there's a special key to the piece, they caught someone's love before you've met it. “What's it about, anyways?”

He looks down at you due to the height difference and brings his gaze back to your eyes, deep piercing blue staring right into you, you feel a bit sick from the closeness. 

“It's…uhh,” he pauses, a bit sheepish, you never thought you'd see the infamous, 'evil' god of mischief looking embarrassed to talk about something he loves. He clears his throat. “It talks about several people meeting at a Masquerade ball, one of them, the leader, —who is the murderer, but it's a fact unknown to the characters of the play— wears a mask that resembles the face of a comical ghost, it may sound a bit silly, but it's really symbolic. It has the horror of course, putting the thrill aside.” He still blushes to say.

He continues.

“The thrill of having to discover who is responsible for the murders whilst everyone worries because their lives are at risk, you don't know which ones you trust, there's just…something about it that makes me terrified, I think that's why I'm so invested in the story.” He manages to explain to you. “But I really like it, I've even read the scripts before, a few times. I had the pleasure of reading the original one when it was created.”

Your eyes widen as he says it all. “I love these kinds of things! The mystery!” You exclaim. “I love it, and we'll get to see who's actually the murderer at the end, right? Sometimes I tend to get my intuitions wrong,” you joke.

He chuckles, a bit surprised. “Yes, of course. Where would be the fun if we never get to know who did it all?”

“And you're quite old, huh?” You give a teasing smile, he shakes his head, smiling too. “You know so many things from so many years ago.”

“Don't let this disappoint you, I hope.” There's a glint and the softness he always presents to you. You feel queasy, you feel happy. “Your mortality is not an issue here.”

As the festival went on, even the Warriors did their own little stunt to occupy the time, but the actors never arrived. You were starting to get a bit restless, you wanted to watch the show and you feared you wouldn't get to see what Loki so lovingly shared with you.

Everybody gave out a gasp of exasperation when all the lights of the event were turned off. People immediately sighed a bothered "blackout", but even the candles were blown off, leaving everyone in a sea of darkness swallowing all the excitement there was before.

“We can't enjoy the event without lights!” One of the warriors complained, you couldn't quite remember his name.

“Why can't I light the candle? The fire just doesn't lit,” someone complained loudly. “Where is a God of Fire when you need one?”

“I bet that's all because Thor's not here!”

You turn your head around the annoyed complaints of the people, listening to them all in confusion. Loki made sure to appease everyone telling us that we should all stay calm, that the problem will probably be solved soon.

“How could we know? We can't trust this snake!” Someone screamed, pointing at Loki.

“I'm the prince, and I was raised to rule,” Loki had a stern expression as he spoke. “Whether you like it or not, it's true. As Thor is gone for now, I will listen to all the complaints you have.”

“I bet he did it on purpose!” An old Asgardian lady yelled behind the crowd.

“Why would I? I have nothing to gain from this, it's just more of a headache for me,” he said annoyed now, he probably couldn't handle accusations when all he was trying to do is enjoy something he loves.

“He wanted to watch the show like everybody else,” you awkwardly meek the words out, you felt ashamed as soon as they came out and the people looked at you.

“This trickster has watched the same play a thousand times!” Someone gestured rudely with their hands. “He knows every detail probably, he's not doing anything for us.”

“Silence!” Loki orders, “I will not tolerate insolence! You wish to complain, you do so, but meanwhile, I'll put my best efforts to fix the issue.”

You thought the blackout was going to last for maybe a few minutes, but after a while with each sound of nature echoing throughout the open space, you questioned if you're wrong after all. Why was everyone still in the dark? The complaints were now too loud for your ears.

And the worst part is that you've lost sight of Loki. You remind yourself of some old men pulling him by his sleeves, you try to remember what the men's faces looked like, but it remains unsuccessful.

Your heart is quaking with anxiety, he was your only access to hanging out around Asgard, without Thor around or his trusted brother, you feel completely at loss. 

Furiously looking around the place to check if there's anything you can find, whilst others are starting to grab their things to go away.

A sudden light hits the entire circle, a brighter light stinging the people's sight and coming from the theater stage. You hiss and move your gaze, trying to fathom what it's going on.

“The actors are never going to come.” Says a terrified man among the crowd, he's gasping as he looks at the empty stage. What does he mean by that? “Where's the King?! Where's Thor?!”

“We have to run!” An old lady screams, bumping your shoulders as she runs in the opposite direction, grabbing all her stuff. You're still confused but you recompose yourself and immediately try to go somewhere darker.

You scramble through your mind to think of where Loki may be at, you don't want to imagine him suffering with any possible attacks. And your eyes fickle to the golden castle sticking close to the theater area. 

You imagine that's the place where they might've taken Loki to, so you run there, readying yourself to the presence of an unquiet Loki, or maybe a tired, questioning Thor, wondering what all the fuss is about, both the princes immediately trying to solve the problems. You'd run and embrace yourself in the feeling of safety around their presence.

Instead of that, the castle was all empty, you knitted your eyebrows as your skin shivered from the cold you felt in the air. The golden castle has never been so cold, and it seems all the lights have gone out here too.

You're alone. There are no palace staff even, no cooks, no nurses, the princes are nowhere in sight. Alone. And it frightens you, you feel the loneliness ripping your bones as you wonder if staying with the angry mob would be a greater idea than trying to come to the castle.

You hear a ringing way too loud for the quiet atmosphere, you recognize the sound of your cell phone ringing. You run to where your temporary room is, and grab the vibrating phone in your hands. 

You're puzzled, it's odd. It isn't supposed to function, it never does. Who would want to call you when you're so far from Earth? 

Nobody here has a phone connection, so why does it work? Could it be someone from Earth calling you?

You'd probably ask Thor about this later, but you see the number is unknown. You ask yourself if it's possible for the marketing programs to call you even from another realm of distance. You muffle a small laugh as your mental joke eases your nerves.

You hesitantly accept the call, feeling curious.

“Hello?! Is anybody there??!” The raspy male voice questions frantically, it seemed almost robotic, sounding like they're out of breath, you can hear a tiny sob coming from the other line.

“Y-yes, who is it?” You shiver as you listen to your own voice ringing in the closed room.

“Please! Please help me!” The weird voice pleads you. “Please, I found this device out in the blackout, I don't know where I am. But I have you. Please help me.”

You try to shush him calmly. But you're scared as you're still alone, and the voice calling you sounds male but unrecognizable. 

“Look I'm sorry, I'm not a person you should be calling right now, I'm really lost too.” You try to explain peacefully, your chest aching from feeling useless. “Please, forgive me,” You hang up.

Seconds later as you ready yourself to leave, organizing all the important stuff, there's the ringing again. You groan loudly and answer the call.

“Hello?!”

“Are you alone?” He asks, giving another sob through the line. “I'm sorry if you are, I just feel uneasy.”

“I'm packing my things to go face an angry mob of people. Why did you call me back? I told you I can't help you.”

“You'd rather face some angry people than help me?” He asks, quite stressed, all of a sudden sounding a bit angry. Your body stills on the spot.

“I don't know who you are!” He sighs as he hears you.

“That's fair.” A silence rings. You sigh and hang up again.

As you walk out the room, the phone rings again.

“I was testing you, I know a woman that's alone shouldn't come around to help people they don't know, you're really smart.”

“Is it you again?” You ask out of patience.

“What are you doing now?” He sounds more curious.

“I told you, I'm packing my things.”

“Why are you lying to me?” You freeze.

“...Excuse me?” You look around and check if there's anyone that saw you leave your room. “Also, wait. How do you know I'm alone? I never told you I was…”

“Were you on the play?” He changes subject.

“I-uhm…Yeah, I was. I wanted to watch it- yeah. Now answer my question!” You respond feeling incredibly uneasy.

“I was there too. Are you also human?”

“Me? Yes, I'm the Midgardian. You're from Earth?” You walk and get giddier on the call, someone from Earth in Asgard would bring you more familiarity. For a minute you forgot your question remained unanswered. 

“Was just curious. Thor likes you a lot. He speaks a lot about you.”

“Thor? Yeah, he's my friend...” You wonder why the stranger is bringing him to the topic.

“I think I found a light, will you stick on the line until I reach it?”

“Sure thing.” You don't know why, though you don't see anything wrong with waiting. Your every move is still shaky from fear.

“You never told me your name.” He says suggestively, you hurry down the stairs and breathe out the next words.

“Why do you wanna know my name?” 

“Because I want to know who I'm looking at.” A shiver runs down your spine. Like a whiplash, you feel observed as you search your surroundings.

“...What?”

“I wanna know who I'm talking to.”

“That's not what you said.”

“What do you think I've said?” He asks, feigning confusion. 

You rush to the entrance only to notice the doors are locked, your hands shaking as you knock the door repeatedly to call attention from the outsiders. You're sure the stranger heard you banging the door through the call. Shit.

You don't say anything as you hang up this time. You try to compose your breathing, the phone rings once again but you don't move to accept the call.

“Someone!! Help me!” You loudly call, waiting for a response, a sign, anything. The dark was even scarier after the call you received, the cold all too threatening, like a bunch of invisible eyes looking under your skin.

After some moments of silence passing through your weeping eyes, you're fighting to keep the sobs hidden by putting your hand to your mouth to muffle the noise.

You kneel down, body glued to the door, holding it for dear life, your heartbeat a bit too loud for your eardrums. You're hugging your knees in a position of defeat as your body trembles with each sob.

You're wondering if the Asgardians had evacuated the castle and forgotten about you. You wondered if Loki forgot about you.

Your phone rings.

“Don't you hang up on me again or I'll make sure you're the first one to get killed.” Your sobs get even louder. “I'll gut you like a fish and feed your organs to the wolves!”

“What are you doing?! Who are you?!” You ask, clenching your fist to your chest. The rough voice from the other line chuckling from your questions.

“Does it matter, sweetheart? You want out, don't you? Poor thing, locked alone in the castle…”

“Please…don't hurt me…”

“You've told me once you like scary stuff, thrillers.” You fight not to hyperventilate. “Let's try some method acting, shall we?”

“No…no I don't. I don't like this shit.” You grit your teeth.

“You do, sweetheart. Don't lie to me. Don't you want to join my play? I planned it just for us, I thought you wanted to watch it. I can make you a star.”

“What?! No…” You cry.

The door opens out of a sudden and your body falls to the dirty earthy ground. You leave a groan, when your head lifts you're surprised by the dark that's out in the wild, the only light being the stars above your head and the vast bright moon occupying the sky.

You lift yourself with trembling knees and hear a voice coming from the phone. 

“If you ignore me one more time I'll fucking cut your neck off, you stupid little bitch!” The person threatens and you visibly recoil, throwing the phone very far away, ignoring his instructions and running for dear life.

Panting on your way through the golden speckled Asgardian trail out of the castle, darkened by the lack of lightning that you find in the way, you breathe as best as you can, ignoring the fear clutching your heart and the tears pricking your eyes, face puffy and your nose beginning to stuff.

“Damn it,” you tremble and fall in your steps. Sobbing to the air. “Shit, shit…” You curse to the skies as you try to regain your steadiness.

You start listening to a noise behind you, shuffling the bushes and startling you even more. When you pay attention, there are a pair of black boots making their way out of the bushes, right to your direction. A cloak covers down their ankles while your eyes widen. 

You don't stay behind to care for whom it may be, nor wait to check their face, and you keep running.

You're startled as a man comes to your line of vision, screaming, frantic. You tremble and end up falling backwards on the ground, he falls on top of you. Your hands are punching him to move off of you but he seemed just as frightened as you were.

He also noticed your punches were much weaker than the touches the gods carry. The strength they have. He supposed you were a human.

“Oh thank the Lord!” He praises God, and your face is entirely a mix of fear and anxiety, the tears making it very uncomfortable to keep your eyes open. “Thank the Heavens, you have to save me!”

“No!” You scream, pushing him away. A human. He doesn't fool you, he's the damn murderer that's been stalking you. You push his figure behind and he falls off his steps.

And then a knife craves his stomach, your eyes are wide and you're nauseated. The blood speckles to your terrified face. You can't help the scream that leaves you.

You quickly hurry to move up and keep on the run, suddenly someone grabs you by your neck, pulling your whole body up effortlessly, scaring all the breath out of your body.

You're pale as you realize the person is masked, wearing a ghost face mask and a cloak covering their entire body. The person from that was following you, the murderer.

“W-who…” You're fighting, clutching the gloved fingers holding you up and choking you by your pulse. “Who…I-I can't- breathe…” You say between resistant breaths.

“I told you not to ignore me, didn't I? I didn't think I'd need to repeat myself. You seemed like a pretty clever girl.” You recognized the voice from the phone.

“Please…”

“Don't beg, sweet. You're right where I want you to be.” He turns your body, clinging to you, pressing a knife near where his hand was, on your neck. This hand is now resting on your stomach. “I was waiting for this the whole night.”

“What?” You squirm around his grip, wanting to get out.

He clutches your face, forcing you to look at the stage. The one that was before empty, and now, is filled with decorations and blood stains. Your bile raised up to your throat.

Your eyes widened in fear and filled with terrified tears, you could barely hold your screech as you paid attention to the calculated amount of bodies on the floor of the stage.

You were now fully hitting him even though your limbs were being held tight, you still tried to escape.

“Don't be scared, princess.” A shiver runs through your skin, your whole face must be a mix of sweat and tears. It's like everything is turning in your head, dizzying you. Princess. 

Cruel joke. Must be a cruel coincidence, a cruel joke against you. You imagined the killer heard the nickname Loki called you, you could only hope Loki was coming to save you anytime. Maybe he knew how much you liked him.

“Don't be scared, we're only starting the show.” He carries your body up and takes you closer to the stage, all while you punch him as best as you can with full fists. He doesn't seem to be affected by your weak punching.

“Shh, now.” He calms you through your breakdown, shushing you and moving a piece of your hair that was sticking on your forehead due to your sweating. “Shh, you'll like this game, I promise.”

“Game?” You repeat with a gasp, mouth open in fright. “I don't wanna play anything, you freak! You monster!” You try to jump off his embrace but he's stronger and clutches his hold onto you with more strength. “Please, let me go…”

“Come on, princess.” He calls through your cries, placing you down on a throne-looking piece in front of the stage, when you touched it, it felt so…real. You wondered how anyone would be able to bring a real golden throne to this place, you wondered if it was like the one the Asgardian King has.

“A real throne for a princess.” You felt the goosebumps rise one more time, bringing your attention out of your senses, as you looked at the masked freak. “You can't get out of this.” He says and you notice you can't move your hands, you actively scream out, really scared at being unable to move.

“What are you doing?! Why?” You wonder, and he touches your face delicately, the ghost face giving you a cold feeling down your spine, your eyes bright with tears as you look up to him. 

He moves your face a bit, to get you to look at the stage instead of himself. 

“We're just going to play a game, my princess.” He softly says, as much as his raspy voice can muster. You start shaking your head in denial, frantically. 

“Please, no. You've had your fun, I promise I won't tell, please! Let me go!!” 

“You wanted to watch the play, we're going to do so. You just have to guess who's the one that's guilty. If you get it right, nothing happens, and you get a reward. If you get it wrong, we're going to have even more fun.”

“Why are you doing this?” He doesn't respond, he keeps his hands on your shoulders as you watch ahead.

The play starts, a terrified man tries to run you, but he's interrupted like there's a wall in the way. 

“Please, help me! I'm innocent, I need to go away.”

You try to move your hands but you can't. The Ghostface whispers in your ears. 

“Do you trust him, sweetheart? It's in your hands.” 

You shake your head and close your eyes, desperately trying to ignore the scene in front of you. More characters came into the scene.

“Don't worry about the actors, sweetheart,” his whispering was almost so soft for the fake covering voice, hidden behind the mask. “That man, the one that just screamed,” he points his knife to the man that's staring at him with big scared eyes. “He was wanted as a criminal, his reward was worth thousands of gold for arson, murder and sexual abuse.”

“S-so you don't think sexual abuse is correct?” You ask before even thinking, just feeling a wave of relief.

“What?” He sounds surprised for a second. “Why would I–? Oh, sweet? You thought I'd hurt you like this?” His voice sounded different at the moment he realized, like it really hit him somehow. “I'd never do this to you, there's no need to worry about that, I think it's the most disgusting of all crimes.” He says tilting the knife, you gulp not knowing what to do, but gratefully accepting the fact the killer had moral limits about this. At least.

“Pick one.” You realize you've barely paid attention to the play, to the actors moving.

“Please…” You keep on begging, maybe that'll help, but it gets him even more out of patience. “Please, I can't play with people's lives!” 

“You should know what you were getting into before coming here.” He gets closer to your face, you only wish your hands could work so you could pull his mask off to know who he is. “Come on, pick one.”

All the characters looked terrified, one wore a sillier mask of the Ghostface that was beside you, purposely seeming fake and cheaper. You start shaking, it'd be too obvious to pick the Ghostface that's acting, he's supposed to be the story's murderer. No one was actually killed during the act, they just pretended to kill.

“Do you think he did it?” The real killer asks beside you, almost sitting by your side close to your throne. He steps in front of you, steps clear and slow as his boots hit the ground, making you fixated on his every move. “You've been looking at him.” He takes something out of his cloak, and you almost can't believe it when he pulls out a gun and shoots the guy wearing the leader's mask.

“NO!” You scream loudly, hoping to reach his ears before he finishes the murderous act. 

A few more very loud shots were done, the stage was now shining with the stranger's dark red blood, and the actors were all shaking, shivering, on their best attempts at holding their cries, because they didn't want to be a part of it, they're afraid they'll be the next.

“This play is originally Midgardian,” he said, ignoring your cries. “Being written decades ago, only modern versions have this new weapon so the characters would be killed at a distance. I think it's practical for our current game.”

“NO, NO, NO, THAT'S HORRIBLE! STOP, STOP THIS, LET ME LEAVE! I DIDN'T PICK HIM, I DIDN'T WANT HIM TO DIE!” You scream and your whole body is shaking as you feel the guilt racking through your bones.

You feel his gloved hands caress your arms. 

“Sweet,” his strange voice keeps calling you. “Princess, please, look at me. Look at me,” His glove is tainted with dark blood, staining the rich dark black material. He tilts your chin up to make you look at his masked face. You feel even more afraid, the unfamiliarity and fear burning up your body. 

You can't stop crying, and your sobs are becoming louder and louder. 

“Look at me. It's okay, remember what I told you? He didn't deserve to live. He was supposed to go through the death penalty anyways.” You didn't know if you trusted his words. You were scared. Terrified. Shaking, and now feeling so guilty you couldn't even think about being saved. 

What if they put the blame on you? What about the disgust the princes will feel about you? You feel tainted, dirty, like you killed him yourself, with your bare hands.

You couldn't handle that, you didn't want to take the man's life. You couldn't stop looking at the blood, the smell of iron now clinging close to where you're stuck at.

“Please, let me go. You got what you wanted.” You try one more time.

“You think I got what I wanted?” His hands strongly hold your already immobile wrists. “Princess, I could do this anytime I wished, but I want you.” He says and you shiver even more. “I want you to be the star. My Queen. The one they admire, I want you to stay with me.”

“What? W-what do you mean by that?”

“Thor is not coming back.” He says almost too softly, nonchalant, apathetic, you want to throw up. You're feeling dizzy, there's a knot in your stomach and you don't know what to do. 

“What?! What? What??! Why? What have you done to him?! What about Loki?!” You cry and beg for answers.

He chuckles. The mask moving with each small laugh he lets out, you want to rip it off his face. This person you already hate so much.

“It's so sweet of you, it matches your nickname. Sweet, sweet, darling thing. It's so beautiful to know just how much you care about me.” He moves the mask off his face and you're unmoving, you go completely limp as you stare at the face you admired before, the tears wouldn't go away.

Were they correct this whole time? You've been considering a psychopath as your friend this whole time?

“L-Loki?” You hate how you stutter as you say his name, you hate to see him smile at that. You hate that you don't hate him, because your brain can't link the murders to him. Not him. “Loki, why?” 

“My father made me love this play, he taught me everything. I was here when it was created, Odin thought of the leaders like brave warriors, soldiers. The weaker ones got killed first but only he remained.” Loki's voice now sounded so suave to your ears, you imagined the strange one must have been granted through his magic and illusions.

“Such a beautiful story, sweetheart. It has so many layers, I can't wait for you to get involved in this artwork as much as I do.” His smile was so bright you felt nauseated, you couldn't even speak. “Look at the irony, look at it! The Norns must love me! Odin died first, he isn't here to present my thriving. I'm the only one that's left, the leader, the King, the ruler. I'm winning now, and the act is going on!”

He conjures a knife and presses it close to your neck, making you yelp and jump a little out of the chair. You're surprised you can move now, but he still grabs you forcefully and pulls you up to him. 

“I was the one that made Thor bring you here. I was paying attention to you for so long, it didn't take much convincing until the oaf agreed, he even befriended you. You have no idea how long I've had to wait with my nerves at bay.” His jealousy was visible as he spoke and you shook from his words.

“Look at them. The blood of the undeserving, the weak ones. We are above them, my princess. You and me. We can win this game. I'd never, ever, hurt you.” He says the last sentence with a seriously cold expression, you open your mouth and leave out a loud cry. His frown deepen.

“What's wrong? I thought you wanted to see how the play goes?”

“Not like this. Please…Loki…” You feel his hand reaching under the skin of your dress, pulling it up and moving to caress your thigh. You feel perverted as your eyes open and you look at the blood and the terrified faces among the stage.

You take the moment he's distracted to rush out of his grip, he's caught unexpectedly so his knife accidently cuts your shoulder, you grunt from the small wound. 

You turn to leave as quickly as you can, Loki chuckles to himself, thinking about how cute it is, that you think you can be quicker than him. That you're trying to escape, it's what a really smart princess would do, to be brave enough to try.

You pass through bushes, a weird unknown garden to you, wanting to find anyone else that was there before, anyone from the crowd that was running away, screaming loudly your pleas for help that no one hears. 

You look behind, not seeing him makes you even more uneasy. You can feel his presence near you, you don't know where he is. 

There's a particular downhill area you didn't see right in front of you, you accidently fall. Your legs failing you and hitting the ground from a long altitude distance, cutting your face and any naked skin you're letting out, your bones felt the fall and you curse how stupid you were not to pay attention.

Your skin is tainted with dirt, your face now on the ground. You think your foot is out of place as you groan out in pain, it hurts to move it. You can't believe you could ever be so stupid. Your dress is so painfully yellow after all the dirt.

You cry like a little kid.

You're surprised when your phone —the one you threw away — is right next to you, ringing and intact. Your face is so puffy from the fall, and because of all the crying, all the fear.

You move your arms and hold it close to your ears. “Hello?” Your voice trembles.

“I should have told you, you can't run away from me, darling.” Loki's voice echoes through your mind now, you almost feel it like a safety blanket covering your skin after the defeat, you don't know if you should accept the loss or not. Like a balm, a salve. 

He's the one that hangs up this time.

You feel a pair of arms holding you up with him, cozying you into his arms, so you can peacefully rest your head onto his chest, still covered by the dark cloak.

He pats your head, letting his hand softly caress your back as you lay in his arms, he's carrying you somewhere else.

You see the people now, the Asgardians, and the actors from before. So you quickly put your head back to Loki's chest again, wishing to hide away.

“I shouldn't have just thrown it on you like that,” he keeps his soft touches on your clothed back, his magic cleaning the dirt on your skin, balming the wounds. “It takes a lot from someone, but you're so pretty when you're scared. I got carried away, I'm so sorry.” He quickly apologizes after he says so, you keep hidden, not wishing to speak.

He sighs tiredly, he massages your scalp, you almost mewl like a kitten when he does it. Your heart still aches with fear and he tears up at your shivering, afraid he's broken you.

“To all the Asgardians,” he begins, voice loud and authoritative. “I expect all of you to do your normal duties tomorrow, everyone in their expected places. I'll have the lights fixed after I have my fun.” His fingers massage your scalp as he mentions that. His other hand holds you up by your buttocks, he's steadying you in his arms.

Unknowingly to your hiding self, the Asgardians nod tearfully and all so scared of his statements. They all were quivering under Loki's gaze. He seemed like a true mad King to their eyes. 

To Loki, he's never been more sane, this is all he ever wanted, he's got you in his arms now. And Thor is gone. He's a King.

“To the actors,” he looks at the frightened crew still in their respective places. “I expect a full play. Just as we planned.” He gestures to them to continue, they lock eyes with each other and look at the corpse close to their feet. “Now.” Loki could only roll his eyes with impatience.

They move in their respective places, getting ready for the show. Loki sits on the throne with you clinging to him like a koala. He's smirking all too proud, he loves feeling needed.

He considers putting the mask back, it's a symbol for greatness in this art. It's what his father used to say.

“Love,” he calls. Not wanting to frighten you more, you look up to him with a quivering lip. “You're okay, we're okay.” 

He lifts a bit the end of your dress again, unbothered by the actors frantically moving among themselves, not knowing if they should look or not.

He grabs your ass cheek, making you gasp from the suddenness. You don't want to think about the scene, so you don't. You stick to appreciating his closeness, and him, you feel like a pervert for enjoying this, his low voice speaking against your skin.

He kisses you.

“I'll make you feel better.” He brings you up a bit to lick down your earlobe, moving to kiss your neck. “I'll make it all better, I promise. I've been reckless.” He says, taking off his gloves and pressing his nails against your skin, marking tiny half-moon shapes on your flesh.

Wanting to fully feel you, smiling as he remembers the desperation from the man, he's dreamt years of this performance. Of having a figure to be conquered, the star of the show, you.

The blood still covered his cloak, and it's starting to taint your beautiful, innocent skin. It entices him more, of course. He groans near your ear, you moan under his touch in response.

He hears the movement from the play and he grabs your hair tenderly, you've had enough for one day, he has to be kind, you need his softness that you adore so much. The one he reserves only for you.

He takes off your dress and lets it slip off your body, he's in awe as more of your skin reaches his eyes, his breath hanging for a second.

The actors now well enough not to look at you while the King has you in his arms.

He grabs more than he can, he feels graced by the Gods. He wants to suffocate you with his passion, the blood on your skin tainting his hands. The blood gets him so hard, leaving him impatient as he ruts against your clothed pussy, searching for friction.

He sucks on your neck, taking his time to your shoulders, your hands tremble as you move to grab his hair. You keep your eyes closed, each breath you tried to convince yourself this was completely fine.

Loki's eyes glance to the stage for a moment, he takes a look at a character picking the ghostface mask off the floor, and with a shaky breath and, most likely heavy heart, the next thing to be heard was a short scream. The cut of the knife tainted the actors even more, one of them turned to run to a corner and throw up.

Loki pressed his hands against your ears so you wouldn't listen to the vomit, nor the blood splashing out. But you knew.

"Weak bastards," Loki thought, "they'd never survive a war. Weak, fake puritans. Their blood is a noble sacrifice."

Loki kept a hold of your head to his chest so you wouldn't watch the scene, you were still shaking, poor thing, wouldn't be able to take it. Your curiosity was dangerous to you, he had to keep you safer than he assumed necessary, innocent, untainted little thing.

“Princess,” he takes your face between his hands, only leaving a small distance between his lips to yours, practically speaking right into your mouth. You blushed under his loving gaze. “Can I have you?”

Your breath stopped short, you were so dizzy you feared fainting from such intense emotions. Loki was all you wanted, but after this? You were terrified.

“You don't need to accept, I won't even make you watch the show. I fear it'd be too much for your pure heart to take,” he carefully fixes a singular strand of your hair to behind your ear.

“I'm not pure,” you meekly said, your eyes stinging with the weight of the truth. You've never felt dirtier, never felt more like a sinner. If punishments were deserving for those who committed atrocities, you trembled to believe you'd need them all. “I'm not pure, I deserve to suffer.”

“Don't say that,” Loki sternly commands. “Don't say that, not you. If there's a soul in this universe that deserves all the nine realms, it is you.” His words are stern but so soft, you once again feel your lips quiver at the start of another sob. You were way too emotional, everything was way too wrong.

Everything but the sensual way he was touching you.

His fingers kept a gentle caress of your back, down your spine, to reach your hips and buttocks. His breath hitched as he gritted his teeth, attempting patience, waiting for a sign that you soon granted him.

“Please…” You begged, like a poor little mouse under his tricks. He felt oh so blessed, the Norns truly must love him. He practically yanks you panties down, they hang somewhere around your calves as he starts to touch your needy cunt.

He skillfully touches your folds, your pussy clenching from the movements he's making, he slips his fingers inside your cunt to stroke that sensitive spot inside of you, curling his fingers, making you a mess.

“That's it, sweetheart, take your pleasure,” he craved those pleased whiny moans of yours, they were a treasure to his ears, you were clenching around him and lifting yourself a bit up with each thrusting of his fingers. He couldn't control his groans to himself. “Take it from me, it's yours. All yours.”

His palm circles your clit, paying extra attention to the moments you get sensitive, shivering under his hold like his precious toy, heat running down your skin. You shamelessly begin riding his palm. He kept your legs fully open now with his other hand, keeping a strong grip on your skin.

“Let me play, darling. Don't be cruel.” You didn't know if your tears came from pleasure or fear now. Your mind wasn't allowing you to focus on the seriousness of the situation, you didn't want to look at the blood, and the smell of him intoxicated you to the point you ignored the smell of iron around the place.

“Y-yes…” You mindlessly opened your legs further, making him give you the prettiest, most devilish grin your eyes could see.

“I'll treat you so well, you will enjoy being mine, princess. I'll make sure you do.” You don't hold your moaning, unafraid of the possible eyes wandering to your figure. Your nails digged his shoulders, your hips rutted against him unashamed, begging for the friction, for more of his marvelous fingers.

He helps you through your climax as you're gushing over his clothes, you're a trembling mess, coming undone for him, your entire face now very sticky with sweat and tears, the post-orgasmic bliss clouding your mind.

“Do you want to know how the show ends?” You feel goosebumps as he asks that, no, no you don't want to.

He looks down at you, bringing his fingers up as a trail of your cum sticks on the way to his mouth. You're dazed as he licks his fingers clean, keeping eye contact with you, you see a bit of blood sticking in between the act.

You wonder whose blood it is, if this is any hygienic, but you supposed being a God had its perks for these things. Your eyes squeezed tight in shame.

He makes sure to lift your face to make your eyes open again.

“No need to feel embarrassed if you like it.” Your blood boils and the heat you feel increases, how dare he? To assume you'd like being part of something so cruel?

“I don't like it.” You say coldly, not passing any of the burbling rage you feel.

He laughs a bit from your serious expression, you feel mocked. You knit your brows, you didn't know Loki could be this way.

“I love you, princess.” It's like a stab on your heart after the cruelness.

“No, you don't.” He scoops you up his arms, out of a sudden, you yelp as you're lifted, instinctively holding up around his neck.

He moves the throne magically to the center of the theater. Everything looks so hazed and spectacularly planned out.

He places you carefully down the throne, even fixing the skirt of your dress as he leaves you there.

You feel out of place, the characters that are alive have pleading eyes but none have the courage to move and run away. You begin to feel your blood boil for them too, how could they be so weak? How could you?

“My heart.” Loki calls you, you shiver because of the pet-name.

Your tears came back again, and your head now stings drastically from so much crying. If you survived, the headache you'd feel tomorrow will be painful.

Now, your fear was one thing, your anger another, even your cries as you orgasmed were angelical and he craved them like a sick bastard. But your sadness? That stung deep into his heart, ripping it like a carved knife tearing his insides out.

“Please… please don't cry, love. It's okay.” He never thought he'd beg another, he wanted to make everyone else pay. But you? You didn't deserve pain or suffering, and now you're crying because your poor heart is so sad it can't take any more of what he's made you go through.

He'd have to go a long time apologizing, your sadness was starting to cling to his bones.

“My love, look at me.” He holds your hand, kneeling by your side down the throne. Like you're the Queen and he's just a peasant, your servant, a pet.

You don't feel very royal at the moment, you don't really feel in control. If that's what he's planning on doing.

“That's my pretty girl.” As much as you're defiant and trying to keep yourself unattached, you can't help but blush at his words. They seem innocent, they seem honest. “My pretty girl, now the Queen of Asgard. Just as you deserve.” He looks down at your body and licks his lips. He'd feed you all the compliments in the world just because you deserve them.

His hands slide to your thighs and squish them under his hands. He leaves out an animalistic moan, looking up at you with so much desire clinging to his pupils.

“I've been waiting for this part the whole night.” You feel off at that, but he holds you as he hovers over your figure on the throne, quickly scrambling to get rid of his pants. Your panties have been discarded a long time ago, so the wetness is now ruining the fancy marble of the throne, your cheeks warm up at the realization.

He's pinning you against the throne with his weight, his back to the audience, covering you.

He sheaths himself inside of you, he goes in more easily than you imagined, making your eyes round as you feel him throbbing inside you, desperate to move.

He pulls out a bit and thrusts back into you at once. He has an insufferable smile covering his face, and his eyes closed in pleasure, appreciating the warmth of your cunt squeezing him in, welcoming his cock like you're made for him.

“Oh princess, I envied all the souls that had the pleasure of being near you.” He grabs your chin roughly forcing you to look into his eyes, your own eyes moist as you feel so inferior to him. “But what can they do now? What would they do now that I have you? I have you. I have you.” You pant as he bucks so deep into you, you can feel it hitting impossibly deep to the hilt.

“Y-you don't.”

“Oh?” He taunts. “Is that so, my heart? What does it look like to you?” He keeps his punishing pace into you, hands pressing down your womb where you can both feel the bump of his manhood shoving into you, balls repeatedly hitting your ass with every frantic thrusting. His sweat hitting your skin as he fucked you like a beast. “Because to me,” another harsh thrust, you moan and crave your nails on the skin of his back, legs wrapping around his waist. “It seems like I've won.”

Your eyes roll up your skull as he keeps hitting that sensitive spot, he was craving the sensation of your exploding orgasm, he craved to feel your cunt straining his cock as you milk his cock. His hand moves lower as his thrusts become more powerful, he rubs your clit. He hears your panting and moans into your ear like your sounds are a victory of its own.

You cling to him as his hips work you until your head falls backwards, the lights all on you as you spasm around him and his massive form still holding you for dear life. Loki finished with a bite down onto your neck, right next to your lifeline, biting a bruise as you felt him spilling into you.

You cling to him as you cease your rocking hips, he holds your tired legs down as he keeps himself rested inside you, calming down his breathing as your forehead touches his.

You look down and see the earlier blood smeared across your skin, you gulp, he feels your cunt clench from the sight and he gives a satisfied smile.

He coos you into his arms, embracing your form.

“I have you, princess.” He pulls out carefully and you hiss from oversensitivity. A long string of his cum coming out of you, you watch it with fascination as it runs down your thighs, moving a bit so it doesn't ruin the pristine throne. “I have you, my star.”

He conjures a knife again, and hands it to you. You watch it dazedly, the bliss really making you more fuzzy.

“Dearest,” he sweetly calls you, he's been doing that a lot, you notice. “The star needs to finish the show. The true leader. The one they're obsessed with, the true Star.”

You're limp as you take the news, you move the knife on your hands with a detached curiosity, it's clean now but you wonder for how long it's been used, and for what kind of things.

“I can't kill anyone.” You weakly say, afraid you'll disappoint, his eyes are wide but he still nods. He's quick to show you he's not disappointed.

He pats your hair and nuzzles your cheek with his face, getting your lips close to him so he can give you multiple and multiple kisses all over your face. You feel his affection like a healing balm in itself, you bathe yourself in it.

“It's okay, it doesn't need to be you.” He affirms, still passing his hands across your hair, and skin. He glanced at another actor, you hid your face again into his chest as you anticipate the cruel fate that'll obviously occur no matter what.

And it did, you heard another splash, someone else needed to die. You're shaking and your sobbing is louder than you wanted, Loki keeps you scooped onto him. He begins rocking you back and forth gently as a means to calm you down, cherishing you, babying you.

“The Star agrees for it to be the end, I presume?” He asks and you nod repeatedly. You just want it to end.

“Please… please, no more.” You beg weakly, he cradles you and coos some more, keeping you safely tucked in his arms, he starts to move around to stand up with you still clinging onto him like a koala.

“This will be all.” He gives a satisfied smile to the crowd of actors, the ones that survived shaking, trembling. Still meekly downing their heads as all actors do when a play's over. They rush to the exits, and Loki allows them.

“Shh, now.” He still asks of you as your cries are unstopping. “Please, love, it's over.”

“What will happen now?”

“I've told you, I'm the King. Nothing will happen, this play lasted for generations, it's the first opportunity I've had of making it my own. Centuries before you even dreamed to exist, but they don't dare to defy the King.” He patiently passes his hand up and down your back, holding you more to him. “We're safe. I told you. We're all safe.”

You guessed he wasn't going to refer to the dead people around you, or the ones that died in the way.

He takes a trembling you with him somewhere else, you don't know where you're going, but you don't have the bravery to peek out and see. You're still afraid to be the next.

You feel even more perverted everytime you think about death and feel his sticky cum running down your thighs, you feel even more perverted as you don't regret it.

“I'll take you to our chambers.” He says, as if it's nothing.

“Our chambers? Mine is…” He interrupts you. You check around and notice you're inside the cold castle, nobody's in sight but you and Loki.

“No…not yours, our chamber.” He recalls you. You shake your head clinging to his chest again, leaving out another sob.

“I'm sorry,” he continues, frowning now. “Do you hate me?” His voice trembles as he asks, your fists curled around his muscular chest as your mind fights to hate him, but you fear you don't. You don't want to tell him that you don't hate him. “This was more traumatic to you than I assumed it would be.”

Your eyes open as you try to look anywhere but his face, and as you peek at the floor, you see the shiny, bloody ghost face mask left on the floor. As if it's nothing now, as if nothing happened.

It gives you the chills.

“I-I, I've never had to–” You sob loudly. “Never thought I'd need to see- see people being murdered.” Your stinging eyes now struggled to keep open, you fought to breathe and to speak. He tries to calm you down and rubs over your clothed skin some more.

“My love, my heart, it's over now.”

Is it? Is it over? Was it all a huge nightmare? Your eyes squeeze shut as you wish for it to be all a giant, mean trick. But as you opened them, everything was real, and the blood, the cum, the memories, still very much present speckled across your impure skin.

“It's over.” He places you ever so gently down his giant bed, it felt heavenly, the pillows were so soft and the mattress smelled like paradise. It felt so heavenly you sighed out in relief, your bones received the touch against the bed like a treat. “It's been enough for this year, but we'll need to treasure the future performances.”

Your heart froze, of course. There were additionals.

“You don't need to worry about that now, my heart.” He pleads again, kissing you, you accept, and then pressing a gentle peck to your forehead. “For now, I'll let you relax. I'll prepare a bath for us, and I'll let you rest your divine mind into dreamland. Does this sound suitable?” He asks with a kind smile, smoothing his fingers over your wrists.

You clear your throat to say.

“Yes.”

“Perfect, my heart. As I have you, I'll take care of you. I've planned to have you as my Queen for a long time. I won't let it go to waste, I promise I'll take care of you.” He scoops you up to him again, he seemed to enjoy treating you like a princess a lot. Cradling his face next to yours. “One day you'll forgive me. But for now, for now, let me make you learn how to love me.”

Taglist: @mischief2sarawr @dangertoozmanykids101

[slaygentford]

every matthew mcconaughey romcom, rated

ive never really had a pet white man. ive had many pet white men characters, yes, but never a little pet white man actor who I wish to give treats and pats to like a purse dog. I never before really understood the phenomenon until my 5th or so rewatch of true detective in the year 2024, at which point something demonic was unlocked in my brain. why? how? a mystery for my therapist, when I had a therapist, but I don't anymore, so now it's a mystery for you. overcome with the insatiable urge to tape his picture to the front of my binder and write "hott" underneath it in sharpie I mentally detransitioned and, embracing my latent teenage girl (the girl I was, perhaps, in another world, one parallel to ours; a darker world, but of equal worth to our own sphere, damned as it may be) --began to watch every Matthew mcconaughey romcom ever made.

listed in my watch order, which was random.

how to lose a guy in 10 days: this is a near perfect 00s romcom, too much secondhand embarrassment to be a real mainstay for me, but it nonetheless hits every beat with aplomb. particularly tickled to see them playing bullshit the card game which was a family and friend group fave for me growing up. he and Kate Hudson have probably fucked, which added a lot to the chemistry. in one scene Kate Hudson described how cute he was rubbing his face into her tits and her friend says, do you want to date him or adopt him? at which point I saw into the void, which then saw back into me. instantly it became apparent to me that he will act circles around whoever he's paired with to the point that it actually becomes kind of comical how good of a performance he's giving in a movie that includes not one but two scenes of a dog pissing on a pool table. that being said bebe neuwirth CARRIED this film on her BEAUTIFUL lithe back. 1 instance of no shirt, unfortunately brief. 7/10. vape I hit at midpoint also a 7/10, coincidentally

NB: after watching this movie I had a dream that I was at the beach with him and Kate hudson and I hated her because she had stolen may man.

the wedding planner: when I watched this I got extremely caught up in two things 1 the fact that he went on a date with another woman while engaged and almost kissed her and 2 jlo playing an italian girl. this led me to think about what race is/was in 90s-00s, colorism, borders of the latinx body and codemeshing. something interesting about the wedding planner is that the leads are in every way the opposite of the character they are playing, with little effort to no effort to make up for that diff (Matthew not at all acting like a wholesome pediatrician and rarely seen with children/jlo not at all acting (like) or being an italian). as a result the fourth wall in this movie is made out of wobbling cellophane, an upsetting and uncanny experience. Matthew doing a tango meant a lot to me as a fan of rust's deranged impromptu norteñas tutorial in true detective. as he is a texan, I think he is essentially one of my people. 0 instances of no shirt. 2/10

failure to launch: at the first incident of animal slapstick (chipmunk related) I had the thought while the scene wore on and on, I feel like I'm on drugs. that's because I was on drugs, which I then remembered, but a joint doesnt deny the truth, only reveal it. there are many sports, and Matthew doing sports. I wouldn't be surprised if the original conception of this movie was more like lars and the real girl or silver linings playbook which then had to get repackaged as a rom com bc some parts of this kind of push at the seams of the haha funny tone which makes for a shockingly bad film but a very interesting way to think about process and what this writer's passion project would be. by the final animal slapstick incident (dolphin, second appearance) I really said what the fuck out loud, like actually out loud in my home. we started off strong with some shirtlessness and a calf shot during the sex scene, but the chipmunk to dolphin to bird to iguana to dolphin pipeline really took the wind out of my sails. 1/10

ghosts of girlfriends past: This is doubtless Matthew's worst performance--and yet what a triumph it is, purely because for any other actor, it would be the peak of a career. Matthew has an incredible naturalism. About 15 minutes into this movie, Matthew gets belligerently drunk at his brother's rehearsal dinner. Through half-lidded, glassy eyes, he delivers with thoughtless verve the exact sort of diatribe a man not only uncaring but also unaware of his cruelty can; and yet, in that passivity, he unearths pathos. I consider it an underpainting--a little window which peeks out of a bad script to a fully conceived person. Throughout its runtime, the film degenerates into a pantomime, even parody, of itself: but with just a series of slow blinks, Matthew conveys a complete psyche, an entire lifetime. I truly believe that he comes to roles even those he dislikes with an inescapable talent and sensitivity. If I could bring half of his effort and spark and originality to my own creative pursuits, that would make for a very good career indeed. His integrity as an artist really is why watching his worst films is so fun: in a game of limbo, Matthew can do the lowest backbend of all. Strong calves indeed. anyway, this movie is REALLY bad. 0/10

fool's gold:

10/10

[seriousbrat]

I see many snape stans say Snape was groomed into being a Death Eater. But there’s no canon evidence 😭. Do you think that was the case for him?

yes and no. I think the issue is that "groomed" isn't the right word, I would use "radicalised." Unfortunately it's very common for teenage boys to be radicalised into far-right beliefs and hate groups, and while it's obviously justified to apportion blame to some extent, I also think understanding why that happens is important in order to combat it. And I think that requires a certain level of nuance and empathy.

Snape had a shit home life and was mistreated even further at school. He was given the short end of the stick in many respects, I think this is undeniably true and while it doesn't justify anything, is what opened the door for him to be radicalised. Obv he is still ultimately responsible for his choices, and they were bad ones, but for me Snape as a character is an interesting parallel to a real life phenomenon.

A lot of teenaged incels are miserable, because We Live in A Society and MOST people are miserable. Instead of reaching the conclusion that this is a systemic issue and correctly identifying the problem, they're led to believe by manipulative, bad-faith actors and echo chambers that the cause of their misery is X group (women, immigrants.) Not to get academic lol but Mark Fisher's concept of "capitalist realism" explains the way that it's impossible for people to see capitalism as anything other than the norm, the default state of society, and even begin to consider that alternatives may exist. So if you're miserable under capitalism without understanding why, you look for someone else to blame. This happens all the time and right-wing politicians are constantly taking advantage of working-class people's misery in order to stir them up into populist fervour- how else are you going to get the poorest people in the US to oppose public healthcare? If you stop to think about it, it's insane.

Back to Snape, I know this is mostly my interpretation and not fully based in canon, but the way I see and write Mulciber is as an extremely manipulative person, who identified Snape early on as both highly useful and as easy prey. The fact that Mulciber specialised in the Imperius curse points to his manipulative nature for me. As does the "he wanted Mulciber" quote, Snape was clearly very invested in gaining his approval (he wanted mulciber quote my beloved). I can see him being led to believe that Muggles (his father, and everything that came from his mother's choice to marry a muggle) and wealthy progressives (James) were to blame. Ofc there is hypocrisy in this, but people aren't always fully logical.

So IN CONCLUSION, while Snape was responsible for his own choices, I think it's worthwhile to think about the other factors at play in the situation. Fiction is a way to understand things that occur in real life, after all, so it's just interesting to consider through the lens of Snape's character.

[laylawatermelon]

The K-Drama Of It All

Hello! My hyper fixation has (very unhealthily) latched onto this show so I'm gonna be analyzing.

First of all, I am a veteran in these spaces.

Very shy in real life I am an avid observer in all my fandoms but TRUST I know what's up at all times because of it.

This first analysis will be of the phenomenon of how they playing in my face with the classic K-Drama tropes and cinematic choices.

Let us begin.

Now we all agree that The Bear is a cinematic masterpiece right? Right.

I have been consuming media across all mediums since I was a kid.

I quite literally spent most of my life watching behind the scenes, in front of the scenes, and in between the scenes.

I'm also an aspiring filmmaker and screenwriter. As such I analyze stuff I like more.

I try to understand why they are the way they are.

Now that we got all the fluff out of the way let's get down to the nitty gritty.

*stands on soapbox*

Page 1 of 10000 ehem

In this this essay I will -!

Fr tho. Let's look at this from a K-Drama perspective.

I've spent about 10-12/13 years watching them. And luckily got into it during the golden era.

I literally watched She Was Pretty air (among others). Ex, Strong Woman, Descendants of the Sun (never watched; controversy+ bad attention span), School 2013.

So you know I'm (somewhat) of an og.

I'm those shows it's very formulaic.

This can extend to other Asian dramas but I'm going to try to stick to K-Dramas.

For example, the 10 ep rule. Must have a kiss or kiss in that episode. (Before is fine)

Now they're getting a little willy nilly and getting down in the first EP but I can argue they was down bad back then as well. Just more angsty longing looks.

(which tbf Sydcarm does all the time but it's 99% Carm though)

In KDramas there's something common in the cinematography that I'd call the halo of light. Almost all the time there are some form of beauty shots with them beautifully lit where they're together, the way they look at each other etc.

Which ironically they do with these two a lot on the show.

I know the show is gorgeous but you can't just explain away some of the choices.

I have watched and read a lot of discussions so this will be influenced by a lot of people. I will mention when I got the help from (if i can find it).

Now I just want to say I think this.

These following trope have been here since the dawn of K-Drama time.

Enjoy my infodump.

Firstly let's discuss this here:

1. The Meet Cute/Halo Effect

We've all been screaming to the void about the classic meet cute that happens with Carmy's life and him being constantly bombarded with noise and chaos.

Stylistically this wouldn't be a typical formula for K-Dramas as it leans more into Kmovie style (which valid The Bear was originally a movie) I think it's as textbook as it comes.

Now the original script (which I have read) had a story of different tone. Very Chicago and chaotic but still...

In this iteration of the script idk what the actors were on but JAW looked at the script and chemistry test and was like hmm yes.

A dramatic romcom. I see.

For her she's an ambitious woman who has (maybe a tiny crush) admiration for him cause like he's literally who she wants to be.

Young, talented and successful. He's made a name in their industry so of course she wants to work under him.

But he he's playing the male lead in an early K-Drama with the classic *she enters* and it's like the second coming out Christ being lit from behind her.

The classic 'I can't believe I never noticed how beautiful she is' in all dramas (and romcoms honestly).

You can also compare it to the corny slightly funny moments in slow motion when they miss each other/do the angsty look.

Like this.

Good old kdrama tropes.

What's interesting is that in their scene they do the opposite of what a K-Drama would usually do. They cut the music and let it become calm.

You get to breathe and relax and so does he. He feels at peace.

In K-Dramas, osts are a kind of a life line so they would most likely blare it when he has that realization.

And then at every other romantic moment after.

Another way that it could be is by using very like calm music (still the ost but still).

They do use this with having mostly romantic music in their scenes but it's usually quiet and a bit hard to hear or understand (unless you're analyzing like many of the wonderful people on this app).

Now you can argue her warm lighting in each scene from the finale and introduction represents his hope/life/good change being given back to him in the form of her (but if that's not the most romantic thing I ever heard).

Now for the flashback in the panic attack scene you could argue the blue tone he sees her in, as it usually represents some kind of sadness/distance/professionalism in this show, it can also represent his piercing blue eyes remembering her in the only shade they know how.

Good God that color grading is nuts. His eyes *ARE* the color Blue.

Now I want to talk a bit more about shot composition, color grading and color choices.

In a few interviews I've seen and read the editors, directors and others were quite serious about the shots and music they used were very much on purpose.

I mean come on.

Also Announcement from a novel/screenwriter:

EHEM

WE DON'T EVER INCLUDE NOTHING THAT CAN BE MISINTERPRETED IN SCRIPTS!

AND THE DIRECTOR WOULD DEFINITELY CUT IT IF IT WASN'T HOW HE ENVISIONED IT!

(/hj)

The most telling scenes is the beginning of omlette and the end of the episode before it.

The director had chose to show her tattoo that represents loss in a deep blue lighting which was actually in a similar lighting that Carmy and Claire were bathed in afterwards.

The quora search says it means pain, heartbreak, and emotional turmoil.

It also lines up with the rest of the shots with him preparing dinner with Claire and her being alone.

I believe this kind of represents the emotional cheating (?) going on between them as he practically abandoned her (and their child, The Bear).

(which is a wild choice for platonic coworkers)

As I've said before blue lighting is usually representative of sadness, coldness etc.

In the scene personally even without connecting it to shipping or everything the message came clear to me.

Suffocation.

He was quite literally being suffocated as in the last scene her body was on his as he stared in the distance blankly.

Honestly that shot was kind of heartbreaking because it feels like coercion in a warped way.

He feels like he should be happy, he should participate in these acts, he should be doing well.

He's fulfilling his family's wish.

So why isn't he happy?

That's my writer kicking in but that's what I got from it.

🥲 (gimme a sec i gotta cry)

But the same blue tone was used in his panic attack as the camera zoomed in.

Now the ironic part was that they used warm lighting for the scenes with Claire, but it's not that unusual.

Warm lighting has always been used to also represent a time period in the past in addition to good/warm times.

What's ironic is what's literally colored in what should represent good times isn't working.

He's remembering his family in those same tones. The past isn't helping.

But the future does.

Enter Sydney in blue.

Now blue usually represents sadness (or calm) but it's also used in futuristic scenes.

*They benefit from the cold clinical look i guess🤷🏾‍♀️*

Then he becomes calm.

I can also say that their kitchen scenes in early season 2 are blue coded but it has a calm feeling not a distant feeling. It ironically feel warm and calming despite the cool tone.

This appears in a couple other scenes in the show when he's showing her the work done in the early season.

But color wise it's usually warm tones with them as the color kind of transitions in that scene. It's half half.

His view is warm because he thinks she's good with what he did and hers is cold because he ditched her so yeah.

Now shot wise let's discuss because it's a bit obvious.

The staff head mentioned loving close ups to show the characters emotion but also to convey a sense of what's not being said.

An example of his uncertainty with Claire is the car scene. In most of his shots it's extremely close to her and gives off an awkward vibe.

But when you go to her perspective, she's more open and his shots show background and more of his character, also reflecting their relationship with each other,

This persists with the kitchen scene as well.

When I rewatch it it has that same quality. It's a bit more pulled out (obviously as they literally spent the night together so anyone would feel closer) but there's still an awkward/dreamlike feel like when its on her like she's not quite based in reality.

Or in Carmy's self sabotaging view, too good to be true.

In comparison to Sydney, the shots with her are almost always wide and open.

We see it with them as early in season one with the outside scene where he's staring her down and gets her to open up.

You can argue that almost all of their shots are as equals, or in the same frame with an openness that have/represents when they're communicating with each other. (I'm def writing about their communication)

Sydney's character is ironically what a male lead would be like and Carmy would be more of the female archetype.

Which I really appreciate now that I think about it.

The male lead is usually very successful/good at what they do, hesitant to share but when they do you feel it and know it's sincere. They're usually more bumbly with expressing when they're emotional but when they do its like a huge release. And when they love it's very obvious and excessive at times.

In comparison, Carmy is very expressive, sensitive and aware. He's devoted (Claire sorry but you don't quite count) to things he's passionate about, willing to communicate and has traits of sensitivity.

His eyes and body tells what he's feeling almost immediately. (Also JAW is just an incredible actor)

In Kdrama land their roles would be switched. Hell I can argue some American dramas as well.

Back on topic though.

The Halo Effect is there. Like all the time.

To my next point-

2. The She Looks Away, I Look At Her

Now you may argue this is very Disney Rapunzel, all that coded.

You will also be correct.

I am a Disney (more Nick honestly) kid.

This too applies to the K-Drama world nay I would say it originated there (it did not).

Do you know how many shows I can name where the male lead is just hopelessly in awe as he stared at the female lead because she just insulted him and he wants to tell her he loves her in every way.

Ring ring.

I heard The Bear calling. Yeah imma need you to clock out on this gaslighting.

time to fangirl

Look at the gif sets!

But honestly, it's a common way to show that the character cares and wants a person without outright saying it.

You understand the vibes almost instantly.

He likes her. He wants more.

She likes him. She wants more.

3. Matching Clothes

This one is a simple one but we all know how common it is in K-Dramas to have a matching something.

A good example of a recent show is Extraordinary Attorney Woo, and how they almost always matched even if he was in casual clothing and she was in office clothes.

You're supposed to get a telepathy feel from them. Like they're on the same wavelength.

In ships/shows they usually subconsciously brainwash you into details of a relationship by having them wear or have something that reminds you of them.

In wardrobe, clothing is meticulously planned to match characters financial situation and express their personality. The clothes tell the story.

And the story usually is we go together. Real bad.

So yeah, sure in this scene/episode they were more in tune and tandem and as time went on they became more disjointed.

Granted they do work in a place with uniforms but I digress.

And lastly my third point part II-

Same But Different

If this were a kdrama there'd be like 0.00% chance that they WOULDN'T happen.

First they're the main leads so duh, and second the way that they parallel each other is insane.

There are many edits and examples of them directly mirroring each other in certain situations.

Scrubbing the floors when feeling lonely seemingly in the exact same spot, stressing in the freezer, saying stuff at the same time and their weird telepathy and answering each other's - sandwiches (that's what I was gonna say).

(sorry)

And if any of you say work wife I will rage cause let me catch my man laying under a table like that!!!

Sparta!

But for real, yes there's intimacy and friendship and all that but I ain't everr look at my friends of either gender like that.

If did I probably had feelings and just kept em in. And did the Carmy puppy eyes (TM).

And yes we are aware Carmy is emotionally constipated like a coke bottle filled with mentos with a tight cap on and his lack of a social life coupled with his (many) different mental illnesses/difficulties.

So he probably doesn't even recognize or even want to recognize them as such and honestly as a 4 lifer

I'm really sad but I don't think he'll confess in the next season.

I'm making a post about it but I'm also uncertain about it lasting more than three seasons as thematically and the way it was intended to be a movie I feel kind of uncertain.

It can extend to 4 but it was intended and the way it's narratively been flowing its exactly like a 3 act structure just spread out (like butter).

The next season is after the dark of night aka main character loses everything.

This season was fun and games - quite literally him having amusement and such. (Training Arc!!) It ended with his demise I'd say.

Now there's no where to go but up.

I'm not saying that it's impossible, but a 4th season would likely be more aimed toward getting a star or maintaining a star etc and family ties and such.

That'd be most likely when, if any, outwardly romantic contact should happen.

But they might surprise me.

Butt honestly in KDrama land there's no way the set up isn't romantic even if it was just a chef or professional focused show.

I'd say it'd be standard honestly for ones focused on career with a dash of romance.

Ex. Miss Hammurabi (best example)

The Good Doctor (Japanese Version)

There's probably more but I exclusively watch romance so 🤷🏾‍♀️.

In Conclusion,

Yes. They are end game.

I also wanna say how odd it is that this ship is attacked by fans of the show and non fans alike because I've literally grew up in the age of Rise of The Brave Tangled Guardians.

There's nothing more random than that time period.

They all dated each other!

Like my guy there's a Tony the Tiger x Grinch fic and don't even get me started on the Onceler selfcest as different flavors of himself (/j i love stuff like this)!

My point is it's not that unusual for the two leads to be shipped. Same gender or not.

I also have years of teenage brain rot developed from eating movies for breakfast so I know more than you! (/hj) I'm obviously right!

I will be discussing some more of this in length at a later date.

But I rest my case.

I will retreat into my cave until next time.

[jesslockwood]

Someone just said that Anthony Lockwood is not a people pleaser and I’d like to dive into why I personally think he is. 

Fair warning: this is just my opinion on my psych evaluations of his character as someone who is a chronic people pleaser and has gone to therapy for it. I’m also an actor so it’s literally my job to figure out why characters tick for the portrayal of them on stage or screen. this is a fictional character so don’t attack me lol.

you’re obviously entitled to your own opinion but I just wanted to give mine :)

!!!SOME BOOK SPOILERS!!!

the deep dive below the cut

Okay so he may seem to most people like a narcissistic character type (from people telling me that that’s what they think) but from what I see is more that he craves to be seen and heard and wants others to feel the same, and does anything even if it hurts others (like the tv public appearance) to satisfy it the craving of being loved and accepted and believed that he’s right whether he agrees with it himself or not. I do think there’s a lot more from the childhood trauma that affects him also to be a hero, and to have a saviour complex almost because he’d rather die a hero and let others live than the pain of himself losing more people. so yes that’s the main part of what his character’s made up of but he still is a people pleaser.

He has the urge to make sure people (like Lucy) feel heard and seen (because that’s all he’s ever wanted), and when for example she says she talked to the skull you can tell he has this internal battle because he wants her to feel pleased with his answer, and even though it’s an unbelievable phenomenon he chooses to hear her and make her feel seen the way he’s always wanted for himself. People pleasers stem when your needs are not met, (if it be from emotionally unavailable parents or like Lockwood, his parents physically weren’t there for him to have his needs met by them and I think he wants to make them proud due to their deaths and always craving more attention and love because he never got enough due to his situation) and you’re left to your own devices to figure out how to not rock the boat yourself when its metaphorically already in a storm. its almost like he cant say no to Lucy or disagree because she meets some of his needs when he’s agreeable. which I can relate to finding people who meet your needs because they're paying attention to you (like George says you “because you like the way she looks at you”) and that’s why he gives her 100% of his devotion, and acceptance and love, hoping she’ll at lest give 1%. (I’m not saying though that Lucy give 1% that’s just how people pleasers work)

I think though with Lockwood and George, George just doesn't have the capacity to give Lockwood what he so desperately wants, at least to the degree he wants, so he turns to Lucy when she’s in the picture. he even at the funeral was like ‘oh my god its Penelope Fittes!!!’ internally looking for validation of what he did. 

Lastly people pleasers can be selfish. I’ve seen it in myself a lot, and people I know and have been told as to why talking to my therapist. Like my ex best friend is a people pleaser, and she got a boyfriend and because he started giving her the validation and “love” she so desperately wanted, she forgot about me and the rest of her friends. she traded us because she found someone who can give her what's she’s craving more at the moment, and clinging onto it for dear life instead of dealing with why she wants that so badly. like I said with the tv interview with the Annabel case and with him calling Lucy an asset, because he wants to be one so bad and have the spotlight for that validation so badly. I will funnily say this is why a lot of people want to be actors, or in the entertainment industry, because there’s a higher chance someone will watch them and praise them for their work.

if you’ve made it this far thanks for listening :)))

[lemotmo]

No worries if this is too close to BT stuff to answer, but I was curious about your take...why are so many anti-Buddies obsessed with claiming we're all children? The issue worsened with the rise of BT, but I saw it happening even before that, and I've never understood where the sentiment came from.

It feels like they take a couple IG comments, see that the nastier ones are from younger users, extrapolate that the nastiness is all Buddie stans, and extrapolate that all Buddie stans are also young people (under the age of 24-ish), and therefore immature.

But why use that argument? The alleged "children" shipping Buddie have evidently kept going for six years now, so the maturity that supposedly will cause us to grow out of Buddie surely would have taken hold on a wider scale?

Is it literally down to wanting to believe they're older and wiser than us? I straight up don't understand the psychological benefit they get from thinking that way...

Nah Nonny, I think I can answer this just fine, because this is something that predates the BT fandom and it isn't anything specific to them. It happened when the guys were in other relationships as well. I've seen a lot of those comments over all the years in the Buddie fandom.

Hell, I've even seen this happen in other fandoms.

It always comes down to the "You are too young. You can't possibly understand how a relationship between two adults works. You have to have some life experience for that."

I think it might have to do with the fact that children and young people are easier to dismiss. (I'm not saying you should make a habit of dismissing kids and young people by the way. Let it be known that this is a very bad habit we should all get rid off as a society.)

When you like a canon ship and one of the people in that ship is also heavily shipped with another character, AND that ship is by far the more popular one, it can get frustrating to be confronted by that fact over and over again. Especially when you are convinced that the canon ship is superior.

It also doesn't help when the actors of the fanon ship are happily playing along with it while completely ignoring the canon ship that should -in theory- be more important.

I think that claiming that all the Buddie fans are children makes it easier to dismiss us as a bunch of young people who haven't a clue what they're talking about. They can pat themselves on the back and convince themselves that they are right and the Buddie fans are wrong. In a way it's a form of self-delusion.

Thing is... the Buddie fandom is made up of people of many different ages. I am well into my forties. I have mutuals who are in their fifties. Some are in their thirties and yes... I have mutuals that are in their twenties.

And guess what? The posts I read that are written by a twenty year old are just as valid as the posts I read that are written by a fifty year old.

Yes, they have different life experiences, come from different places and have different POVs but that is exactly what makes this fandom so great. We have so much input from people of all ages.

Besides... what is life experience anyway? In real life I know a twenty-five year old that has been in three relationships while I also know a fifty-year old that has never had a relationship. Both of them will have valid and interesting insights into having healthy relationships, but only one of them will be able to talk about it from experience.

See what I mean?

Anyway, I hope this made sense Nonny. It did in my head, but I am prone to babble sometimes and I'm not always sure my point comes across when I do that. :D

If someone has additional insight into this phenomenon, feel free to share it with us in the comments. But please don't make this all about the BT fandom. This is fandom behaviour that is far bigger and more widespread than that one single fandom.

Have a great day!

[dlrconlicense]

Louise Brealey On Starring In BBC Three’s Upcoming Comedy Such Brave Girls

Such Brave Girls will arrive on BBC iPlayer on 22 November

By Olivia Emily | 3 days ago

This post may contain affiliate links. Learn more

Louise Brealey is perhaps best known for her witty portrayal of lovelorn morgue technician Molly Hooper in Sherlock – but we’re loving her recent comedy work even more. She’ll next be seen in the BBC‘s hotly anticipated comedy Such Brave Girls, coming later this month. Written by Kate Sadler, Louise plays Deb, the matriarch of a dysfunctional family, trying and failing to keep her kamikaze daughters from disaster. We sat down with Louise to hear all about it.

Interview: Louise Brealey

© Leo Staar

Hi Louise, how’s life going at the moment?

Hello! It’s been a busy summer – my new film has been doing the festival circuit so there have been a lot of planes, trains and automobiles.

You’re about to star in BBC’s new series Such Brave Girls – can you give us an elevator pitch for the show?

Two messed-up twenty-something (real-life) sisters [Kat Sadler and Lizzie Davidson] and their total car crash of a mother attempt to navigate their way out of disaster and into love.

You play Deb – can you describe her?

Deb is amazing. She’s a shockingly bad mum who has completely messed up her two Gen Z daughters. I think of her as one of those vending machines at railway stations and swimming pools where you can get a Twix, but all that’s on her shelves is Tough Love.

What was it like playing her?

A terrifying hoot – she has a lot of lines.

How did you get into character/prepare for the role?

I based Deb on a little girl I used to know. You could see every emotion on her face. Guile, rage, confusion, fear. When she was cross, she scowled. When she was delighted, she beamed.

I used my real accent: Northamptonshire. It has softened over the years, so I sound a lot posher now, but it’s how my family speak and I’ve never had the chance to work using it.

Any funny stories from rehearsals or filming?

The scenes requiring our amazing intimacy coordinator, Elle McAlpine, were hysterically funny and genuinely not at all awkward. Poor Paul Bazely who plays Dev may have experienced some chafing.

What is the cast dynamic? Who was your favourite person to work with?

We are like a little family when we are filming. I feel very protective of Kat and Lizzie. And Paul is a wonderful human being and a phenomenal actor.

Are you still in touch with any of your co-stars?

Yes, we message all the time.

Josie (KAT SADLER), Deb (LOUISE BREALEY), Billie (LIZZIE DAVIDSON) in Such Brave Girls. © BBC/Various Artists Limited/James Stack

You’re perhaps best known for your role as Molly in Sherlock. What is that like to look back on?

Bittersweet because I don’t feel we finished it, and we have lost Una Stubbs. But it was incredible to be a part of what was really a phenomenon. It couldn’t happen now with streaming.

Any special memories from the show?

Too many. Having a candle in an egg custard tart (my favourite) on my birthday in Benedict’s trailer… Laughing and laughing with darling Una and Rupert Graves, who is a dreamboat.

You’ve also starred in the likes of Lockwood & Co, Brian and Charles and Back recently. But what has been your favourite project to date?

I loved working on Clique for the BBC a few years back. I got to play a hard-ass Queen Bee university lecturer in power suits who was afraid of no one, and then to completely fall apart. In an Edinburgh accent.

I loved Lockwood & Co. How does it feel for the show to be cancelled after just one series?

I felt so bad for the young cast, the crew, the fans and everyone whose livelihoods depended on the show coming back. It got such fantastic reviews and great viewing figures. I feel like the hoop it had to jump through for the streamer was just too impossibly small.

Any roles in the pipeline that you’re excited about? (If you’re allowed to tell us!)

I’m the lead in a lesbian chicken factory musical film called Chuck Chuck Baby.

Who has been your favourite actor to work with in the past?

This is much too hard. There have been so many that I admired, and some I now call dear friends. But my buddy Jeff Rawle I’ve worked with three times now, and we are trying to make it a fourth.

Which co-star did you learn the most from?

Antonia Pemberton, who played Nanny in Peter Hall’s Uncle Vanya when I was Sonya. She told me not to keep tomatoes in the fridge.

What’s your dream role?

I’m desperate to get back on stage. I’ve been doing film and television for the past seven years, but theatre is my heart and my home.

What’s a genre you’d like to do more of?

I’d like a good horror. I can’t watch them because I’m a scaredy-cat, but I’d love to be in one.

© Leo Staar

Do you get to spend much time at home?

Not enough. I’ve been gadding about.

Do you live in the town or the country? Which do you prefer?

I’ve lived in London since I left university. I live on a hill next to an oak tree, so it feels like we are in the branches. I can never leave London because I’d miss the culture stuff, but I am a woodland creature.

What’s your interior design style?

A mish-mash of old things I’ve found in auctions. Too many books.

How do you find balance in your personal and work lives?

I don’t.

What did you want to be when you were growing up?

An astronaut.

If you could give advice to your 15-year-old self, what would it be?

Don’t sleep with that guy’s flatmate when you are 21.

How can we all live a little bit better?

Choose love.

Anything fun in the pipeline – professionally or personally?

I’m going to run away to a southern European city for January and February to write.

Quick Fire

I’m currently watching… Only Murders in the Building

What I’m reading… We Have Always Lived in the Castle by Shirley Jackson

The last thing I watched (and loved) was… Silo. I love Rebecca Ferguson.

What I’m most looking forward to seeing… The Motive and the Cue with Mark Gatiss in the West End because I was away for its National Theatre run.

Favourite film of all time… Don’t Look Now

Favourite song of all time… ‘Disco 2000’ by Pulp

Band/singer I always have on repeat… Leonard Cohen

My ultimate cultural recommendation… Join all the museums and galleries

Cultural guilty pleasure… Overcooked 2. It’s computer game where you run around and try to make kebabs.

What’s next for me is… Walking my dog in Beckenham Place Park – it’s south London’s secret mini Hampstead Heath.

Watch

Louise Brealey stars in Such Brave Girls, on BBC iPlayer from 22 November. bbc.co.uk

[discluded]

I am very new to the world of BL fandom but are cp fan reactions always this extreme if the actors move on in their career and work with other people or is this week just a bad week with the massive BBB posters at Bible's event and the truck protesting outside of GMMTV about the Ohmnanon "breaking up". I know that popular actors get paired up for multiple projects but I assume they must change up couples and act with others as pairs every once in a while or after a few years?

hey friend, I'm going to answer this in a way that is circuitous that I think will better address your question.

the first part is: have fandoms always been volatile to the extent a segment of fans will organize to engage their ability to bully / cause harm rather than engage positively?

yes and no, in the sense this is a relatively new phenomenon in the entirety of organized fannish history (which let's just give due credit to our foremothers of fannish history the star trek fandom and their zines.)

but it's not so new because this started around 15 years ago, when people in fandom realise they could also organize to to create very targeted harm

these are the primary examples coming to mind:

Girls Generation (snsd) black ocean

Super Junior's official fanclub members organizing to buy company stock to prevent an 18 year old boy from joining the group lineup

In both these instances, tens of thousands of fans (for fantastics here) organized specifically to harm a person or group of people. the intent objective was specifically to harm.

the bad learned lesson from both these incidents (2008) is that fans can bind together to throw a fit if they don't get their way.

the second is: is it common for fans / fandoms of actor pairs to act this way?

and the more complex answer to that is, fandom is not a single conscious entity, and categorically similar fandoms often do not have a high overlap of active fans, usually at most 1-2 fandoms at a time. don't get me wrong, you'll see a lot of mileapo fans who are also bts fans, and I would bet you'll see a much smaller count of bts fans and exo fans overlap than you would see of bts fans and mileapo fans. any similarities you find in how fans between the first two groups act like one another is more the result of the categorical meta fan culture (here: kpop) rather than because the same people are perpetuating these behaviors while acting as fans of both these groups

for this reason I hesitate to call fandoms drama-mongering because these behaviors are perpetuated by individuals, or by a group of individuals, and not even necessarily by a group that represents the majority belief of the fandom. the fact of the matter is, people will participate in fandom regardless of if you like them or not, and some of there people are bullies or stalkers or overall terrible human beings. you can't make them stop engaging with your favorite actor or musician or couple because you can't control anyone but yourself. the only thing you can do is take the wind out of their sails by not engaging.

if you're wise to Ye Olde Harry Potter fandom lore, you'll know there was a specific segment. of fandom which known as highly dramatic but it wasn't because they liked a certain character or couple - it was because these individuals were drama mongering bullies to begin with, who continued that behavior in other fandoms. One of these infamous people bullied two different friends of mine in two different fandoms 6 years apart, and continues to instigate negativity in the fandoms they choose to engage in. you can't stop this person from joining a fandom... you can only limit their power by not engaging.

so the the answer to your specific question are all fandoms this dramatic? no, or they don't act in that way at least. MewGulf (TharnType) fans continued to invest in delusions by "I've connected the dots.jpeg" normal posts by both parties despite Mew's explicit rejection of their fantasies and his refusal to engage. However, they didn't have a problem with MG moving onto other acting projects without the other. Mew even worked with Tul of MaxTul/Manner of Death on a project but it wasn't BL. however, Max will be involved in the new mafia Thai BL releasing next year that's already been cast and as far as I can see, Tul isn't involved. I haven't heard of any grievances thus far from their fans but that doesn't mean there aren't any, and even if there are, I doubt the reaction would be organize to specifically harm Max's career / limit his opportunities.

On the opposite end of the spectrum, you have what Apolaris did in August, which was purposefully sabotaging Man Suang promo and embarrassing Apo in front of business partners and sponsors because they want the opposite: for Apo to stop working with Mile.

to circle back to the beginning: 1) it has nothing to do with the specific fandom topic, people can feel a sense of entitlement and desire to control regardless of who it is what behavior they want to happen and 2) a small group of people can disproportionately cause harm if they are organized enough and vindictive enough. that doesn't necessarily represent the majority fan view, but it can over time if their bullying behavior towards other fans drive the more reasonable people out of fandom , leaving only those who agree with theie toxic mindset.

do fandoms always have these people? in this day and age, almost inevitably, yes. and they are unfortunately also resilient to being bullied out of fandom themselves but plenty good at playing the victim. the best thing one can do is ignore their entitled, obnoxious behavior (private shit talking totally allowed)

*please in advance forgive my typos. the keyboard is generating weirder autocorrects of correct words every day. Please pretend to not see it

[destinyc1020]

As a Tomdaya on the bird app, who stans Tom and Z as individuals as well as their relationship, I’d thought I chime in. I agree with the anon that Z is treated very differently on the app than Tom and I find it weird. I think Z fans are very proctevtive of Z, rightfully so but they often fail to view her as a human being and put her on this bizarre pedestal that sometimes removes her humanity as an individual that I can only really compare to to Taylor swift. Disney is the starting block to ownership because a lot of fans either grew up with Z or rewatched her shows on the channel that they are the super fans today. Add in The Greatest Showman, MCU, Euphoria and Dune. Properties with big fan bases. Her music career was also very successful though cut short and had a huge impact. It’s not lost on me of the sheer volume of fame and fans she’s received being strategic and being one of a kind talent.

Tom on the other hand has MCU but really didn’t grow up in the public the way Z did at age 13. Another factor I think is a big contribution to this phenomenon is that Z encourages parasocial relationships with her fans. I didn’t think to much of this because most celebs have social media but most don’t really talk to fans unless their gen z or musicians.

They put Z on puritanical pedestals and remove her humanity.Sometimes I think they forget that they know she lurks on socials and might like or retweets accounts thus creating subfandoms that have relations to Z. Those fandoms are not bad and great if your a fan. But those ones like timdayas, hunterdaya or anyone daya who cut Tom out of everything is just so weird to me. They get annoyed if you make a Tomdaya joke cause she more than her relationship. They’re not wrong but she’s always more than her costars but they never see through that logic because it doesn’t fit their narrative lol.

Timothee used to be parasocial as well, especially at the beginning of his career. He would communicate with fans and actually create a bond with them on socials and real life. Club Chalamet is a result of that lol. After the Eiza situation, he stopped and mainly keeps interactions slim and mainly related to his next project because he saw that lines were being blurred and those fans at the time were judgmental. Idk if you remember the infamous Timothee I trusted you meme because despite general public coming for him, those stans really were doing too much lol. I think that’s why he hid his relationships from his fans because they built this idea of him when he’s just a man in his 20s figuring it out lol.

Tom fans are in three catergories mcu fanboys, Tomdayas like me lol, antis who don’t like Z. His fanbase on twitter is really an amalgamation of Tomdayas who both love Z and Tom but their small compared to Z’s or Timothee. When he gets hate Tomdaya felt the need to defend on his behalf. The reality is Tom doesn’t care. He only uses insta and avoids twitter. He healthy because he live in his own universe. However, he’s not a Paul mescal or Josh O’Connor where his work little or alot can stand out for itself whether he’s likeable or not. A lot of his fame comes from his personality or ip films. I’m aware I missed Billy Elliot, just don’t thinks it relevant on social media. Yes I loved tcr but when the rt score came it was brutal. It was shocking seeing critics who relatively have a niche on films come for him and I was just sad that ppl had this much vitriol despite the fact he’s not problematic. Both film twitter beloved Chris Pine and Chris Evans have critically failure and there’s not hate as much as Tom got that week. One thing as a Tomdaya that muted certain z fans who hate on him is that he really doesn’t care.

Him liking that insta post about him forgetting he’s famous made me realise that as a fan I should not care and just curate my account for my own happiness. I don’t engage tweets about comparison with other actors, z’s exes or costars because I know it’s bait. Toms fanbase is small so I’m happy it’s not as big as other actors. That’s why I think those fans can repost his kissing scenes of intamite scenes cause he doesn’t lurk Twitter and it doesn’t start trending. Z does so when those fans post things about her boyfriend or her exes or costars, they know she lurks and I think that’s weird. Maybe that’s why Tomdayas get on defence lol. I’m aware though some Tomdayas can be cringe. I’m not rewriting history here lol.

That’s my two cents lol. Hope you have a good day xxx

Thnx for your input Anon. 😊

Another factor I think is a big contribution to this phenomenon is that Z encourages parasocial relationships with her fans.

I wouldn't say she encourages it, I just think she wants to try to stay personable with her fans and show them that she's still that kind, down to earth girl from Oakland that they've always known and loved, no matter how "famous" she gets. 😊

I didn’t think to much of this because most celebs have social media but most don’t really talk to fans unless their gen z or musicians.

Well Z IS Gen Z lol 😅

Timothee used to be parasocial as well, especially at the beginning of his career. He would communicate with fans and actually create a bond with them on socials and real life. Club Chalamet is a result of that lol. After the Eiza situation, he stopped and mainly keeps interactions slim and mainly related to his next project because he saw that lines were being blurred and those fans at the time were judgmental.

Well, honestly Anon.... MOST Celebrities (I feel) have realized over the years that the LESS they share of their personal life, the BETTER. If you go back 7 years....even just 5 years....and you were to go back in time and be on IG or Twitter as a fan back then, you would see that Z, Tom, Timothee, shoot....even Austin, Nadia lol, etc. ALL used to be waaaay more personable, engaging, and even posted WAY more on their social media accounts back then compared to now. I think over the years, a LOT of these celebrities (especially the ones who are fairly famous) have all realized just how toxic social media has become in just such a short time, and I think they have figured out that the less they share, the better.

Fans have definitely crossed the line, and these actors have realized that they need to put a boundary again btwn them, their private life, and their fans. That's just my own personal observation and theory. 🤷🏾‍♀️

Him liking that insta post about him forgetting he’s famous made me realise that as a fan I should not care and just curate my account for my own happiness.

I definitely think you should curate your online account for your own happiness and not worry too much about Tom. With that said, while he may have liked that post, we can't say with 100% accuracy that "he doesn't care" about what people say about him. He IS human after all. He might not care about ALL things, but certain things might def be hurtful.

[unproduciblesmackdown]

consider this a free space to expound upon [rian as shown on screen being Closetedly Trans], if you so wish

oh yeah worth taking a swing at it at a little more length, even if i'm bound to forget things or not have these Comprehensive Answers the first time around

also tricky b/c it's like, truly it's [handshake] with pointing at winston as a fellow autiste even as no way does the writing have that intention w/any directness/explicitness, much less thoroughness to its thoughts. Vibes Based but where it's like well it's not illegitimate when people are able to attune to / Recognize a je ne sais quoi lol, like people able to do so irl without having to form a Reasoning about it or ask directly or what have you....definitely relevant from the start that with earliest rian it was like I Think This Person Is Bisexual, The Actor At Least which turns out to be accurate & it's like, the je ne sais quoi, a subtle vivacity perhaps in the spark of [not cishet agenda'd with it] and knowing that like, if billions wanted to tell you someone was bisexual (or, say, autistic) they would not go the route of "you can perhaps sense it in their joie de vivre" even as that's indeed actually relevant lol. and like bisexual haircut and sweaters idk. which felt like a somewhat less [giving closeted trans] time, also relevantly, b/c said Stifling Tension of rian's gender being held back & staved off once the [rip to Not Simply More Often Used As Plot Device; Potential To Not Just Be Another Axe Capper rian with that post hiatus shift of 5x08 & forevermore] downgrade hit is like, a Decrease in that joie de vivre. rian never gets to be as characterful or lively or Not Miserable from 5x08 on like, just as kind of a more general feeling i had even from the same casual assessment that had it be like "actor bisexual maybe" & like As Usual, if only this seemed particularly on purpose, but the pall over rian from 5x08 on sure didn't seem to truly let up when rian was supposed to be Just Chilling or having a good time rather than particularly suffering, & lord knows in the end it's supposed to be like oh she's Been fine enough here, oh what a difficult choice to perhaps stay forever or leave, & so on. like no way is that simmering energy that like rian is never actually just chilling nor actually having a great time Only Deliberate on billions' part

also obviously the phenomenon that while Talking About Billions amongst ourselves, rian specifically would get inadvertently they/them/their'd now & then while other characters largely did not, especially no other One character. again with the [recognizing a je ne sais quoi] like ending up unsurprised when it turns out the actor is presumably nonbinary as well after it was like Well there seems to be a vibe, & even if it's like no this person isn't queer or isn't autistic so far as they know, like well it's a compliment & an honor for that to be anything but "well of course" lol

it also just kept feeling like whatever the format is like this is the butchest a woman can be before billions gets scared, while always having that energy that it should be getting to Go Farther but being held back. like being on the verge of coming out & getting more gnc with it but hovering on the Supposedly Cis side of possible boundaries of that. e.g. how rian's makeup is so Relatively subtle for [characters who are posited to be women] that Billions Chatting involved going "hmm is rian's makeup supposed to be diegetic? are we ever supposed to think she might not be wearing makeup?" like on the verge & yet there was always Just enough visibility to like eye & lip makeup that it was like, yeah if they're trying to make it look like she might not be wearing makeup they're doing a bad job of it / way too scared, truly i presume they intend like, yes, rian always wears makeup. while i'm also like ugh if only rian could be wearing makeup so Obvious it starts to be "wrong." while now & then there's remarks out of nowhere given to rian about like ah my skincare routine oh i need to think i Look Good, normatively, where what's "weird" is supposed to be a Woman even mentioning that thought, effort, & process goes into Looking Normatively Good(tm) rather than pretending she couldn't exist any other way. little a gnc in that way but again accidentally, & rian also Can't exist any other way, she Will noticeably have eye shadow every day of her life at the office

meanwhile just to my tastes like i was never a fan of whatever shirt style they latched on to for rian there like, hip hooray when it was more of a sweater again vs whatever like mashup of polo meets buttonup meets For Her(tm) meets idek what. but that again like personal tastes aside (there could readily be completely different looks i disliked as much or more lol) it just also seems like another one of those like "As Gnc As Billions Can Get Without Getting Scared" moments like ah not as femineminem as it can possibly get, but god knows it's For Women so don't worry. also relevantly not just rian Always Wearing Pants but that when they made us have another casino episode in s7 & everyone has to get fancy, not only is rian still Definitely Wearing Pants like hmm but that like again the ways the show seems to get nervous & strain & reach for "ohh but reassure us of some Gender Conformity though" only adds to the feeling of like [this is a closeted trans person] who could be getting nervous & being like "you see, rian wearing pants & a jacket style Fancier Outfit isn't too gnc if it's got the velvet style texture and is Purple, feminine enough that none of our [characters posited to be men] could wear a purple suit & have that be Straightforwardly, Unquestionably epic, rather than like either a joke (at their expense) or else someone going like wow what a power move b/c he's so Brave (they would not do this)"

longer hair felt this way too lol like the stylings we got being Pulled Back (bun) Pulled Back (ponytail) Pulled Back (whatever it is like hair from the top & sides secured at the back of the top of the head) Just Loose like all of that Pulled Back giving hints of "if her hair was Plenty shorter" like to the degree you have to fight the stylist to the death to get it cut like that b/c it's Too Gnc, rather than the bisexual / More Comfortable feeling of the chin length hair like again sigh personal tastes, rip to this 5x08 & beyond loss as well lol....and then the last option just potentially overlapping with like, when you simply bother with hair styling as little as possible, b/c efforts to reach some goal of "it looks how you'd like it to look" only come up short. which is how her whole General Look At All Times feels, little a gnc, coming up short as it's like ah but she's got Normal makeup & Long Hair & clothes styled & cut for Women that would be too effete(tm) for a Man so it's gnc enough, surely

and all the while like this damper of General Unhappiness (sort of malaise....) as the character never gets to actually get Too gnc, nor like act according to her own motivation as a role not completely fenced in by [congrats on getting used as a plot device more often than other roles], nor be a funny little guy quant with winston b/c she's supposed to be too "correct" (& prominent, solely as a plot device than in the character's own right like, Ever) to be a funny little guy, & winston is supposed to be too "incorrect" to Not be inferior, so rian has to, as all winners must, hate this autistic friend coworker even as billions is like, no, thinking that autistic person is your funny little personal possession to Use & Discard how you want is nice & caring. another layer of misery. as winston is also of course gnc, but more in the Joie De Vivre style like when they were more actually parallel & proximate in rian's first few pre hiatus episodes so she was also less miserable & like, still had a Gnc energy as well, but More Chill, less like becoming more closeted / reined in towards "correctness," which sure feels like the very shift from 5x08 on that isn't likely to be So Deliberate on billions' part, rather than nah this is a nice Ascent, though with some conflict to be sure. she loves the makeup routine every morning, don't worry

meanwhile just per examples like having broken out this pic the other day i was like And Here Comes Rian, Closetedly, uncomfortably, aptly holding hands with the discomfort of rian having to be an asshole to winston & like what Emotiveness can you give this role that isn't giving the energy of like fighting for its life being held under the surface drowning. which, as ever, like well it would be a ton of fun if it was On Purpose: getting worse, it being too late to turn back, making the choice as soon as its presented like sure i'd Love to be the normal one and be the bully, struggling with the choice but ultimately betraying the Cost of, say, having basic respect much less affection for your weird [bullying target] coworkers, loser geek whatever style but just with Everyone advising / encouraging oh leave that association behind, &/or that Influence behind ofc if billions also let winston talk for longer ever, & just sticking to it like well that's career success then idc....anything sure could've meant anything but here we are, & billions was like ah no :) it was just an ascent all along

like it should be going harder in some direction lol but the look is afraid to, just giving the feel of supposed safely gnc Yet Not Too Much looks sort of thrown together with as little chance of holding as tmc does without the [you can't have a fund without a scapegoat] & yknow just like, that even with billions not deigning to use winston as plot device as often as rian & thus at least giving him a little tiny bit more breathing room in his otherwise [punching bag] &/or [background character] material (& in their never intending to force winston to be a Correct Winner role anyway, unlike for rian. who was correct winner from the start vs winston's origin as supposed detested loser) is enough to spare him either from being held back by the scruff of the neck even in what he Does get, billions gets scared & will indulge Plenty in the joys of dehumunizing treatment for him but like, winston can't break out bmc level Not Fitting In things lest he pull focus from people who matter in the 5 sec he gets to draw a breath & say something before getting shitted on, or distract from the correct experience of Vicarious Revelry in shitting on him b/c like oh but ableism at disabled people would be Impolite. dollar bill can yell the r word b/c we'd never say aloud "winston is autistic" & wags can violate whatever boundaries he wants b/c he's wags & winston's winston, the sort of person we can sense Deserves That. which is also rian but like this is due to being a woman & if we let her go :( then that's that on Respect. can't disrespect her when she's So Epic (incrementally losing hope of any particular traits that aren't like, the accidental closeted trans character, the most abusive coworker) like the Quants Duo parallels / Conversation between these roles sure never ceases, just that we get both sides of the tragedy of how billions thinks abt its Losers / Winners binary, and its gender binary, and [everyone here is neurotypicals] also binary. less & less room for either's joie de vivre when like, even as winston got to truly keep that extra room he got from the start for his Loserness, rian & everyone else is just getting more awful when directing any attention at him at all, as billions shifts into like "yeah the most we'd focus is a redux of Vicarious Killing / whatever power trip you feel like a la 3x03, only a plot device in that the plot is 'don't we all love wags doing this & wish we were him'" & meanwhile also giving up on rian being a character anywhere in there like no, general asshole, basically an axe capper, always planned to be here forever until she arbitrarily easily peaces out for a reason forced into the episode that doesn't make sense but what else were we ever gonna do? explore anything? like how a character is an autistic person we can supposedly only imagine relishing using & hurting? like how there might even be more than one trans person in a room at the same time ever? like, as always, the thoughts are in progress & noncomprehensive but like, it also just indeed feeling like rian's Closeted Trans energy is just not viable either, along with billions biding its time a couple eps before winston must die, along with [taylip is so Peers & Not Cishet that billions gets scared] like aahh no time for that....

another last minute quant duo pic like yay sweater & hair down lol giving the feeling of More of a [just like. whatever] vibe that's More comfortable for it b/c effort at allegedly more gnc performance only makes one more aware of the dissonance / Problems there. but oh whew it's pinkish & she doesn't look as much like someone Not Wearing Makeup as winston so we're safe, i'm sure. rip to the potential for the quants to Actually be square pegs together, fitting like "here, they Do stand together as a unit, you see" & then temper rian doubling down on that by lashing out at winston for his cues to please treat him better. meanwhile winston and his Also unusual outfits that he seems more comfortable with at least to the point it doesn't feel like it's only a matter of time before he Must change it up. whereas rian's more chill looks are more chill but also in a [i'm just going to wrestle less with gender today] resignation kind of way. the Quant Duo Autistic / Gnc / Trans Actually "Weird" Peership being reined in last second too like oh don't worry :) rian hurts him. billions is never gonna break out of having its Winners and having them have to be Better than the losers and express that in the only way that counts: having them dehumanize those inferior parties & show they have the power to act accordingly....but it's like, i think they could've imagined letting, say, a character they consider a woman like not have that makeup on every now & then. could've taken off a bra to wrestle & had armpit hair. getting stuck with the Tension of billions considering weirdness inferiority & then it's like aahh eesh Another trans person?? something it wouldn't consider b/c like oh but can't you just be a woman who wears pants :) Mitigate any queerness please :) ahh can't people who act weird be bringing it upon themselves & only if they present their Disability License will we be embarrassed & totally respectful now. how Couldn't a woman be without question sexually available to a Correct Man & without question beyond the insult of an autistic guy's sexuality & only question the textually queer sexuality possibilities b/c uhhh haha it's just Too epic, sorry, a pattern with taylor's sexuality being so discreetly overlooked, You're Welcome....Billions Imagine: rian gets to be a guy (& more gnc at any time) & be winston's friend & be Actually at odds ever with anything going on around here in a way that meant anything enough to really affect it & not end up with rian being a fully exciseable element despite all the intended alleged importance & meaning i'm sure, in being granted the heavenly rewards deserved by being an asshole axe capper but also a woman. winston also exciseable but he wasn't supposed to be important, & you lose out on so much Flair from his presence in the meantime whereas like rian's best contribution just for Being There is having that [closed trans character] tension, as once left entirely to her own devices it's just like, yep, basically another generic axe cap style presence, great. could've at least taken off eye shadow for this & like worn a tee once

[tickledpink31]

Will Minako tell the boys about the culture and language of the Philippines? Anyone dare to insult Filipino culture?

Not going to answer the second question because I find it uncomfortable to answer.

But yes, Minako does like involving Japanese and Pinoy traditions and into her lifestyle. She often expresses her heritage in food or holidays. Filipino culture is such a phenomenon to me because although we’re Asian, the Spanish influences on our country are quite heavy.

When it comes to languages, Minako is more fluent in Tagalog than Japanese. She also swears a lot in Tagalog, a habit that she got from her mother who was a bit of a sailor mouth.

We have this tradition called “Kamayan,” which means to eat with our hands. That might appeal to some of the boys at the prospect of not having to wash a lot of dishes since there is no cutlery involved and the food is plated on banana leaves that you can just throw away. Some don’t like it because they prefer having their hands clean while eating.

To celebrate Christmas (or in Twisted Wonderland’s case, Winter Holiday), people would find Minako making traditional Filipino Christmas star decorations that we call parol. Malleus even helped put lights in the stars. The glowing stars hanging on the windows makes the dorm look enchanting at night.

Filipinos also tend to celebrate Christmas for months, and I mean MONTHS!!! We start celebrating from September, and we’re usually not done until February. Minako doesn’t really do that though. She loves Christmas, but she and her family are among the people who are annoyed that Christmas music is already playing on the radio as soon as November hits.

Parties! For someone who leans more into introversion, Minako’s great at throwing parties or just hosting in general. She caters the best food and the pabitin game (rack of goodies, our own kind of pinata) is always fun on her birthday.

Filipino dramas may not have the same level of insanity as Spanish or Indian soap operas, but they have their moments. We even have our own Pinoy version of the famous Spanish telenovela, María la del Barrio. You know, the soap opera that gave us this iconic scene.

Vil gets introduced into ABS-CBN soap operas. He’s caught in between hating how cheesy and over-the-top the performance of the actors are but also secretly liking it. He catches on pretty quickly that the moment a character speaks English during an argument, it’s SERIOUS. Meanwhile, Lilia is eating up his popcorn when a physical fight breaks out between the bida (the heroine) and the contrabida (the villainess). He lives for the screaming, hair-pulling, and slapping after someone’s been cheating on his wife. Anyone getting pushed down the stairs has him at the edge of the seat no matter how many times he’s seen that cliché.

Augh, the cgi of the fantasy soap operas makes Idia cringe. It’s so low-quality. Too bad though because Minako decided to show him one of the many adaptations of Mars Ravelo’s Dyesebel.

This one Pinoy show, Kara Mia, while I’ve never watched it myself, seeing the preview terrified me to an uncomfortable degree because of the two faces sharing a single body. They try to paint it as a cute friendship between the two faces, but everyone who has laid witness to the show were green at the gills.

Ah, I think that’s all I have for now. I’m out of brain juice.

[ladykardasi]

Written by

A. V. Phibes. NOT ME!!

BUT IT'S SO GOOD I HAD TO SHARE.

Or if you want to read it right here.

Why ladies love Severus Snape: A detailed primer. (chock full of spoilers, in case you care)

So I was sitting around playing Marry/Fuck/Kill with the Potterverse and was like “I’d totally fuck Snape, obviously.” Then it occurred to me that, among the smorgasbord of cute young boys, why would the “obvious” sexual choice be a gnarly old goth who’s a dick to everyone

Initially, it doesn’t seem to make much sense, since, in the novels, even though he’s a fairly complex character, there’s not really a drop of sex on him and he’s mostly described as being mean and ugly. In spite of this, HP fandom is bursting at the seams with ladies who are hot and bothered for Snape. Some fervently embrace it, others feel strangely confused about it, but it is nonetheless true that ladies love cool Snape, and-- fear not-- I’m going to tell you why in a convenient 5 point format:

1. Alan Rickman’s Voice

A huge portion of Snape lust can be simply attributed to the casting of Alan Rickman in the movies. While Alan Rickman is an average-looking dude and kinda over-the-hill, it is an anecdotally observed phenomenon that the timbre and tempo of Alan Rickman’s voice triggers some sort of primal mating instinct in females. Reviewers—female ones, that is-- have used all sorts of metaphors for Alan Rickman’s voice: Velvet, silk, chocolate, red wine…basically, stuff that ladies love. Have you ever listened to audio of Alan Rickman reading stories? Well I have, and I cannot tell you a single plot point of any of those stories because all I could think about is having hot sex with Alan Rickman who is old enough to be my father and not at all my type.

Guys don’t get it (which I hypothesize is why he tends to be cast as a villain in guy movies and a romantic object in chick movies). It would seem you have to have a vagina in order to experience the aphrodisiac qualities of Alan Rickman’s voice. It’s almost a rite of passage into womanhood: You get your period, you have your first kiss, and you have the first time you go see a movie with Alan Rickman in it and leave feeling all funny, thinking “wow, that guy is such a… um… good actor.” because Alan Rickman’s voice just totally made sweet dirty love to your ear holes.

So now, thanks to the Harry Potter movie franchise, there is a whole new generation of adolescent girls who hear things like this and then feel all strange and confused about their inappropriate longing to make out with a guy practically old enough to be their grandfather. Fear not, young ladies: You can’t help it. It’s just science.

2. He’s dark and Mysterious

This one is so obvious as to almost be cliché. It's the same reason chicks dig vampires. Ladies often respond to strong emotions and fear and confusion can be strong emotions. If you combine this with an initial attraction, a young lady who doesn’t know any better can easily presume that maybe she’s madly in love with a guy just because he’s a little scary and confusing (See also: Twilight). (here I just want to add Damon Salvatore)

So let’s look at Snape: Is he dark? Yes. Along with the severe black outfit, he’s got a titillating air of menace and danger. Mysterious? Definitely. Is he a good guy? Is he a bad guy? Where do his loyalties lie? Does anyone really know what he’s up to? So many questions! How desperately we ladies want to uncover his secrets! The “scary and confusing” factor, aside from being exciting, can also totally disrupt a ladies sense of control over a situation, which can also be stimulating if attraction is involved (which it obviously is because, duh, Alan Rickman’s voice). Leading us to…

3. The whole S&M vibe

It is not a mere coincidence that the interwebs contain about ten million smutty fanfics about what transpires when Snape keeps students after class for detention. Consult a list of the top ten female sex fantasies and you will see “being dominated” and “teacher/student” sitting right next to each other. The character of Severus Snape is a teacher… A very strict teacher. When he tells you to do something, you do it. These kind of power/control fantasies are pretty common (and hot). Add “dark and mysterious” and the wanton suggestiveness of Alan Rickman’s voice into the mix and you’ve just created a perfect storm of female masturbation material. Under these circumstances, having Snape say lines like “I shall attempt to penetrate your mind and you shall attempt to resist me” is almost too much to deal with.

4. He’s a jerk

We’ve all heard the old saw “Women don’t like nice guys… they like jerks” usually being muttered by some jerk who thinks he’s a nice guy. The truth is that women DO like nice guys, BUT, they also like jerks sometimes. As someone who’s dated my fair share of sociopaths, I’ll try to shed some light on this for you.

One thing to establish is that most women don’t like jerks because they want to be treated badly. Rather, they want the guy who’s a jerk to everyone but them. They’re hoping for the victory of biting through his hard candy shell and getting to his sweet tootsie roll center. Jerks possess the alluring qualities of power and confidence… although usually taken to a dysfunctional level. Since most of us have to be nice most of the time, the jerk can also provide a vicarious, liberating thrill as he brazenly breaks all the rules of social propriety.

So when Snape goes around being an asshole and not taking anyone’s shit, it’s actually kind of a turn-on. (Some women also labor under delusions that they can “reform” the jerk, although this is usually a recipe for disaster. )

If I may, however, give some advice to the youth of America, it’s this: Don’t have relationships with jerks. I’m not saying you can’t have hot flings with the occasional jerk in your experimental youth, because, truthfully, they ARE pretty exciting in the short term, but any guy who’s a jerk to everyone else will eventually be a jerk to you. Trust me. To put it in HP terms: fuck all the Slytherins you want, but if you want to get serious, find a nice Hufflepuff.

5. He’s all tortured and misunderstood and crying on the inside and shit.

Okay, so maybe after a long day of antagonizing Harry Potter, insulting his students and generally sneering and being curt, Snape goes down to his room in the dungeon, turns on The Cure’s “Disintegration,” and cries while hugging his pillow, because deep down inside he’s all wounded and sensitive.

Remember what I said in the last bit about the tootsie roll center? Well Snape’s is a doozy. He came from an abusive, neglectful home, got bullied in school and then watched as his BFF/love of his life kicked him to the curb and married the guy who bullied him. Now she’s dead and he feels responsible, so he’s sworn to save her son’s ass from Voldemort even though he partly hates him because he looks like the dude who pantsed him in high school. Meanwhile, everyone just thinks he’s a dick because of the cold, stoic façade he’s constructed to hide his inner turmoil. But he’s secretly doing good…GOOD, DAMN IT! So much heartache! So much angst! So much wounded inner child desperately needing the right woman to hug his pain away!

Chicks often dig romantic fantasies of being the special, insightful one to understand the misunderstood guy, thus breaking through his misanthropic exterior and being rewarded with all of his ardent, pent-up passion. Combined with the Jerk factor, this would seem to present a situation where you could have your hot, rough, pinned-against-the-wall sex and your sweet butterfly kisses, too. In real life, this typically doesn’t result in anything but a dysfunctional relationship, but it seems pretty sexy on paper.

In Summary:

Okay, so we’ve got a dark and mysterious guy with an air of danger and a dominating personality who’s in a position of authority. He’s a total jerk and doesn’t take anyone’s shit, but it’s only because he’s all emo on the inside. Top that off with a voice that makes EVERY DAMN THING sound erotic and BAM: Ladies love Snape.

And so I hope that this sheds some light on why I would obviously fuck him… although I’m totally marrying Hagrid…and killing Peter Pettigrew. That guy is worthless.

[curtklingermanposts]

Celebrities

Why Are There Celebrities?

“Can I get a selfie?” “Can I have your autograph?” Ah yes, phrases celebrities hear all the time. Perhaps, you’ve said something like this yourself. So, what makes some personalities so important? Fame and fortune? Okay, maybe some are rich and famous; but again, what makes them more important than the “general public?” Why do people become so starstruck? The obvious is answer is we are all designed to worship God. Those who don’t worship Him, will worship other humans, animals or things. Perhaps, all the above (see Romans 1:18-23). Even those who worship God occasionally get swept into fandom. When it gets down to it, we will elevate someone, or something. The Bible does encourage us to give honor to whom it is due (see Romans 13:2). Nonetheless, care should be given to not elevate others to a position they do not belong.

Pitfalls Of Following Celebrities

There is an interesting phenomenon when it comes to celebrities. Some people hang on every word they might say. In some cases, they make decisions based on their opinion. It could be as simple as what brand of clothing to wear, maybe for whom to vote in an election, or to take a particular action. Some may even go so far as to pattern their life after their favorite star. The question is, what qualifies celebrities to hold such positions in people’s lives? For instance, an actor may be very good at pretending to be someone else, like a respectable character; but, does that make him respectable, let alone qualified to speak into our lives? What if he has no real expertise in the area of which he is trying to influence us? What if his lifestyle or worldview contradicts the Word of God, or worse still, it is outright antichrist in nature? Would it be a good idea to heed what he has to say? And yes, there are those who are wise and godly. There are some who would make great role models for young people, and others not so much. Talent does not equate to godliness. This is not meant to be some sort of indictment against those who have the public’s esteem. Not at all. The point is we can ill afford to allow anyone to negatively influence our life, no matter how popular he or she might be.  Of course, as believers, praying for those who are well known, or seem to have it all, would be a very good thing. More often than not, we don’t know what’s under the public persona.

Do You Want to be a Celebrity?

Do you want to be a celebrity? “Oh no, I do not want to be famous.” Fair enough, but do you want a good reputation? Reputation is one element of fame. For example, “Your reputation precedes you.” It’s not a bad thing in of itself; yet, why and how you obtain your reputation might be another matter. Why is it so important for some to heavily guard their reputation? Is it pride? Self-exaltation is not exactly a good thing.  It gets down to motivation. When reputation becomes a person’s motivation for their words and action, love is no longer has a part. Hence, there are those who act very kind and loving, but you can sense it’s an act. There’s something underneath the veneer. This is one way to define the word, hypocrite, which means to be an actor. Proverbs 23:7 For as he thinks within himself, so he is. He says to you, “Eat and drink!” But his heart is not with you (NASB). In this example, when a person genuinely loves others, that will also be his or her reputation. No act required. When thinking of fame, more than likely most think in terms of the world stage. However, there are variety of circles in which people are well known, but unknown elsewhere. This is true for the Church as well, and there are circles within it. It might be a particular congregation, a denomination, or any other subcategories. As disciples of Jesus Christ, should we be more concerned about making Him famous? To whose glory do we do anything? It could be said that those who desire fame, are disconnected with their identity in Him. The more you are connected with Him, the less you need anything external. That being said, do not be afraid of fame. Meaning, if God wants to place you in a place of prominence, He has a reason for it. It comes down to being available to be where ever He desires. Like it or not you are being watched by many. Hebrews 12:1-2 Wherefore seeing we also are compassed about with so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us, Looking unto Jesus the Author and Finisher of our faith; Who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God.

perfectfaith.org

[gra-sonas]

Michael Vlamis breaks down his character Michael's newfound happiness, the season’s new alien threats, and the season and series finale.

Life is never quiet on Roswell, New Mexico. Max (Nathan Parsons), his extraterrestrial siblings, Isobel (Lily Cowles) and Michael (Michael Vlamis), and their human friends had only barely begun picking up the pieces after defeating Max's evil Doppelganger, Jones. For Michael, that meant finally moving in with his boyfriend, Alex (Tyler Blackburn).

Beginning in Season 1, their romance has been on and off again, but last year the two seemed more connected and committed to each than ever. Michael had his doubts and felt slightly out of place, but he quickly came to terms with any reservations. New aliens in Roswell, ones with ties to Jones, could throw a wrench into their blissful existence for both Michael and Alex. CBR recently spoke with Vlamis about Michael's personal demons, life with Alex, becoming a mole, and the series' cancellation.

CBR: Going into this season, do you feel Michael is in a better place than he's ever been before?

Michael Vlamis: I do feel that way, yes. One thousand percent. It's funny that you ask that because I felt that way as an actor going in. You know how, in your life, you think everything is good, and then you are challenged with something and then immediately are like, "Oh my god. I still need to be working on this. I am not ready." That is exactly what happens to him in Episode 1.

It continues in Episode 2, and it will continue through the season, but, yeah, Michael is in the best place he's ever been in. That doesn't mean he's perfect. He's still clearly dealing with some of these deep feelings from being a kid, of being abandoned or not having the love he deserved. So, I would say he's the best he's ever been, but he has a long road ahead.

In this season's premiere, the town witnessed a wild light show in the sky. How concerned is Michael about this phenomenon?

Oh, I think he's extremely concerned, but maybe not for the same reason that some of the other characters are. For instance, Max right now is going after these bank robbers. [He] and Cameron think they might be alien. When they see that acid rain or whatever the heck it is, they are thinking, "OK, it is alien," and they are connecting it to these bank robbers and that this is a bad thing. When Michael sees that, he's like, "Oh my god. Are there other people like me, where I can go figure out where I am actually from and who my family is, or my home was?" He's intrigued by it, actually.

Michael steps up as the science geek. In what ways does he contribute to the investigation of the lights, dubbed "St. Elmo's Fire"?

He spent so much of his life trying to figure out a way to go home. Liz is the full-blown, science-honored nerd, but Michael Guerin is that closet nerd, in a way. He's the guy that has been tinkering with toys for many years. He has a lot to offer because he understands the alien tech of it all. The alien investigation is very important for him to be helping out because he knows the alien tech almost better than anyone else. By now, we have an alien doctor. Liz understands it very well. At the same time, I don't think there is anybody who spent enough time with it, especially the machinery, the consoles, and things like that than Michael. That will come into play as the season progresses.

His romantic human partner, Alex, offers to pitch in. Why does Michael resist?

Michael resists because Alex is one person to trust. The whole organization, no matter if you trust a few people in it... You are going to tell me this kid, who spent his whole life wondering about home, isn't going to be precious over something that could tell him more about his home and who he is? More and more people know about these aliens in Roswell. At the same time, there are a lot of people who don't. He still has trust issues deep down. Those are hard to get rid of, but he does trust Alex. We see that come full circle in the episode.

Michael and Alex now live together. What were your thoughts on that domestic development?

I thought it was amazing. I thought it was really fun how they worked in Dallas' character and showing how hesitant Michael was at the beginning. I did believe it was perfect timing. We have a very mature relationship in the show now, and we started the most immature. That has been one of the fun things to play. The growth of our characters and our journeys... I know fans want us together more. In previous seasons, they wanted more of us. It's a long road that is going to take us to a beautiful end of the season, I will say that.

The couple has been shipped as "Malex." How protective are you of the relationship?

I haven't had to be protective. I have never had anyone talking trash on it. If someone was talking trash on it, I would be very upset. So, yes, I guess I am protective over it. If someone was trying to dog what we were doing, then they have way bigger issues than a conversation that I am going to have with them is going to fix. It's going to take many, many conversations and them to do the work.

At the same time, I'm very fortunate to be around a lot of open-minded people who recognize what is going on in the show and aren't judging others for who they love. You forget sometimes that there are still people out there who judge, but I am surrounded by such beautiful people, especially in the entertainment industry. Everyone is so open and welcoming and understanding.

The show is the best thing I have ever been a part of. Malex is the best relationship I have ever been a part of. I haven't been a part of many on television, but I have done several movies. I have written my own stories. I directed my first movie this past year. This is the relationship that speaks the most to people who need a voice. As a person who is only involved in this community through the character I play, I feel even more involved in it than maybe I should. The fans seem to want me to be, and they seem to encourage me to be, and I am proud to do it.

Michael has been busy with his bugs. He has this relationship with Alex on his plate. Jones' contingency plan is still on the loose. What can you tease about what is on the horizon for Michael and the series?

I can definitely tease that Michael Guerin is very intrigued that there are other aliens, and he's going to infiltrate because everyone is trying to figure out why they are here and what is going on. Michael Guerin might fall a little deeper than he expects to fall. He is going to have to fight with that. It's like the mole. "The mole goes in. Good luck."

Unfortunately, this is Roswell's final season. How did you take that news?

You know what? Without giving anything away, there are still some cliffhangers, but storylines are wrapped in such a beautiful way that while we were shooting it, I almost felt like if this happens to be the end, I was pretty content with how we were leaving things. We could still pick up and tell a million more stories, but at the same time, our characters are in such a beautiful place. That doesn't mean there isn't any drama anymore, but it does mean there is a lot of resolution for our characters. I haven't watched it yet, but remembering it, I did feel at peace. We are leaving the show at something that the fans will be happy about, but, yeah, at least one more season of playing Guerin would have been really nice.

At the same time, we just had four years together in Santa Fe. We did everything we could. We had the best times, the best laughs... on- and off-screen. I look at it as I look at everything in my life... as an opportunity. When one opportunity ends, more opportunities come. I just had four years of school, basically, of learning and creating new friendships. I am in a place where it would have been nice to have some more, but it's OK that it's over. I am not sad that it's over. I'm happy that it happened.

[colorisbyshe]

Why do you think straight women are so obsessed with m/m sex? It isn’t comparable to like the scope and harm and shit of straight men obsessed with lesbian porn, but it’s bizarre to me all the same. I feel like the whole “media doesn’t have female characters” thing is just an excuse when fandom will create a whole ass backstory for a background character that showed up on just episode just bc he was played by a white actor.

Eh, lots of reasons, some understandable and some not—

-Women’s sexual desire being stigmatized and also like… completely removed from agency. When your body is made to be an object, receptacle of sexual desire, while men are the driving force in sex—the ones whose desires matter and will be acted upon—it’s easy to be divorced from your own sexuality and seek out exploration and satisfaction elsewhere.

I’m saying this sloppily. But like… women are discouraged from actually centering themselves in sex. Often, sex is about what men desire, what makes men feel good.

So, I can imagine in a lot of cases, wires sort of get crossed, and it becomes easier for women to fully removes themselves or similacrum of themselves from sexual satisfaction or even romantic satisfaction and make it wholly about male pleasure. About men pleasuring men.

The specter of the woman and all the stigma no longer haunts the pursuit of the erotic.

Maybe in exploring the tabooness of gay sex becomes a metaphor for the taboo in owning female sexuality. When it becomes about accepting other peoples stigmatized sexual desires, it’s easier to explore and own than it is with your own sexual desires.

Or, y’unno, if you find men hot, wouldn’t you find two men hot?

Could be the tabooness of gay sex making it hot for them—like it being “deviant” to them makes it naughty, demeaning. Lots of bigots seek out sexual gratification from things and people that repulse them, the repulsion just makes it hotter because it’s off limits and yet they’re still indulging. Lots of “kinks” (please note the quotation marks here) function liek this.

Could be anywhere on the fetishization spectrum.

Could be… the types of male bodies they like show up more in m/m content than in m/f content.

Could be different types of personality and dynamics are present in m/m content.

Could be a power play over men—like these women think men being penetrated makes them weaker and thus “on the same level” as them. A nice homophobia/misogyny combo. See: the pegging discourse

I don’t really feel comfortable ascribing one single reason for this phenomenon

I also don’t feel comfortable fully ascribing female consumption of m/m to straight girls. A lot of is coming from bi girls and… yes, lesbians.

Do the potential reasons change or become more sympathetic when we acknowledge that? Is there more nuance? I don’t know.

Could it just be human sexuality is crazy and sometimes things are more complicated without being malicious or bad.

Maybe for some people it’s because they really, truly only can see men as fully fleshed our character and humans because they’ve been socialized to. That they have more sympathy and room to flesh out flat male characters because the flaws they see in weak female characters feel more like criticisms they receive personally.

Maybe it’s all of these things at once for people.

There’s a whole range of “evil fetishizer” and “relatively innocent person just enjoying content that speaks to them” and I can’t clump everyone to own side.

Maybe the straight girls exploring m/m are gonna be gay/bi guys five years down the road and they just didn’t understand why the content spoke to them at the time.

Maybe it’s cause most het content sucks ass and female characters don’t interact enough. Maybe they’re lesbophobic and just don’t want to engage in lesbian content to make up for m/f sucking.

But then, again, lots of lesbians consume more m/m than f/f.

It’s all gonna come down to different applications and responses to misogyny and/or homophobia. YMMV depending on who the girl consuming m/m is and how she’s consuming

The girl diddling herself to her semes and ukes probably isn’t the same as the girl who cried over a gay indie flick but maybe they are the same girl.

Who knows! This is a topic fit for a psychology study and a 50 page essay, not a tumblr ask

Didn’t even get into how m/m ships racistly can be used to avoid m/f ships featuring women of color while some are being done for girlies to pat themselves on the back for being progressive (saw that a LOT with people shipping Finnpoe). Two different sides of the racism coin.

Like… there are so many angles here. Lots of them evil, some of them… sympathetic (?), some of them banal, and some of them batshit fucking insane.

I’ve only scratched the surface.

But tbh I only rly care that much when the content is actually harmful and homophobic. Cause a lot of the time it just turns into a weird witch hunt where we find out that gasp the girl involved was bi or a lesbian and it’s like… I don’t need to have another dialogue on if it’s homophobic for lesbians and bisexual girls to get off to gay dudes. I don’t see the net benefit there.

It’s complicated. It’s simple. Idk man.

Depends on the girlie. Depends on what domain of m/m content she’s in. Depends on if the content she’s consuming would send her to instant hell for what’s involved.

I don’t have answers, just more questions

I don’t really find the conversation to be productive without specifics, tbh.