#also if they had it so winston Is visibly wearing eye/lip makeup same as rian is? would be fun as well

[unproduciblesmackdown]

consider this a free space to expound upon [rian as shown on screen being Closetedly Trans], if you so wish

oh yeah worth taking a swing at it at a little more length, even if i'm bound to forget things or not have these Comprehensive Answers the first time around

also tricky b/c it's like, truly it's [handshake] with pointing at winston as a fellow autiste even as no way does the writing have that intention w/any directness/explicitness, much less thoroughness to its thoughts. Vibes Based but where it's like well it's not illegitimate when people are able to attune to / Recognize a je ne sais quoi lol, like people able to do so irl without having to form a Reasoning about it or ask directly or what have you....definitely relevant from the start that with earliest rian it was like I Think This Person Is Bisexual, The Actor At Least which turns out to be accurate & it's like, the je ne sais quoi, a subtle vivacity perhaps in the spark of [not cishet agenda'd with it] and knowing that like, if billions wanted to tell you someone was bisexual (or, say, autistic) they would not go the route of "you can perhaps sense it in their joie de vivre" even as that's indeed actually relevant lol. and like bisexual haircut and sweaters idk. which felt like a somewhat less [giving closeted trans] time, also relevantly, b/c said Stifling Tension of rian's gender being held back & staved off once the [rip to Not Simply More Often Used As Plot Device; Potential To Not Just Be Another Axe Capper rian with that post hiatus shift of 5x08 & forevermore] downgrade hit is like, a Decrease in that joie de vivre. rian never gets to be as characterful or lively or Not Miserable from 5x08 on like, just as kind of a more general feeling i had even from the same casual assessment that had it be like "actor bisexual maybe" & like As Usual, if only this seemed particularly on purpose, but the pall over rian from 5x08 on sure didn't seem to truly let up when rian was supposed to be Just Chilling or having a good time rather than particularly suffering, & lord knows in the end it's supposed to be like oh she's Been fine enough here, oh what a difficult choice to perhaps stay forever or leave, & so on. like no way is that simmering energy that like rian is never actually just chilling nor actually having a great time Only Deliberate on billions' part

also obviously the phenomenon that while Talking About Billions amongst ourselves, rian specifically would get inadvertently they/them/their'd now & then while other characters largely did not, especially no other One character. again with the [recognizing a je ne sais quoi] like ending up unsurprised when it turns out the actor is presumably nonbinary as well after it was like Well there seems to be a vibe, & even if it's like no this person isn't queer or isn't autistic so far as they know, like well it's a compliment & an honor for that to be anything but "well of course" lol

it also just kept feeling like whatever the format is like this is the butchest a woman can be before billions gets scared, while always having that energy that it should be getting to Go Farther but being held back. like being on the verge of coming out & getting more gnc with it but hovering on the Supposedly Cis side of possible boundaries of that. e.g. how rian's makeup is so Relatively subtle for [characters who are posited to be women] that Billions Chatting involved going "hmm is rian's makeup supposed to be diegetic? are we ever supposed to think she might not be wearing makeup?" like on the verge & yet there was always Just enough visibility to like eye & lip makeup that it was like, yeah if they're trying to make it look like she might not be wearing makeup they're doing a bad job of it / way too scared, truly i presume they intend like, yes, rian always wears makeup. while i'm also like ugh if only rian could be wearing makeup so Obvious it starts to be "wrong." while now & then there's remarks out of nowhere given to rian about like ah my skincare routine oh i need to think i Look Good, normatively, where what's "weird" is supposed to be a Woman even mentioning that thought, effort, & process goes into Looking Normatively Good(tm) rather than pretending she couldn't exist any other way. little a gnc in that way but again accidentally, & rian also Can't exist any other way, she Will noticeably have eye shadow every day of her life at the office

meanwhile just to my tastes like i was never a fan of whatever shirt style they latched on to for rian there like, hip hooray when it was more of a sweater again vs whatever like mashup of polo meets buttonup meets For Her(tm) meets idek what. but that again like personal tastes aside (there could readily be completely different looks i disliked as much or more lol) it just also seems like another one of those like "As Gnc As Billions Can Get Without Getting Scared" moments like ah not as femineminem as it can possibly get, but god knows it's For Women so don't worry. also relevantly not just rian Always Wearing Pants but that when they made us have another casino episode in s7 & everyone has to get fancy, not only is rian still Definitely Wearing Pants like hmm but that like again the ways the show seems to get nervous & strain & reach for "ohh but reassure us of some Gender Conformity though" only adds to the feeling of like [this is a closeted trans person] who could be getting nervous & being like "you see, rian wearing pants & a jacket style Fancier Outfit isn't too gnc if it's got the velvet style texture and is Purple, feminine enough that none of our [characters posited to be men] could wear a purple suit & have that be Straightforwardly, Unquestionably epic, rather than like either a joke (at their expense) or else someone going like wow what a power move b/c he's so Brave (they would not do this)"

longer hair felt this way too lol like the stylings we got being Pulled Back (bun) Pulled Back (ponytail) Pulled Back (whatever it is like hair from the top & sides secured at the back of the top of the head) Just Loose like all of that Pulled Back giving hints of "if her hair was Plenty shorter" like to the degree you have to fight the stylist to the death to get it cut like that b/c it's Too Gnc, rather than the bisexual / More Comfortable feeling of the chin length hair like again sigh personal tastes, rip to this 5x08 & beyond loss as well lol....and then the last option just potentially overlapping with like, when you simply bother with hair styling as little as possible, b/c efforts to reach some goal of "it looks how you'd like it to look" only come up short. which is how her whole General Look At All Times feels, little a gnc, coming up short as it's like ah but she's got Normal makeup & Long Hair & clothes styled & cut for Women that would be too effete(tm) for a Man so it's gnc enough, surely

and all the while like this damper of General Unhappiness (sort of malaise....) as the character never gets to actually get Too gnc, nor like act according to her own motivation as a role not completely fenced in by [congrats on getting used as a plot device more often than other roles], nor be a funny little guy quant with winston b/c she's supposed to be too "correct" (& prominent, solely as a plot device than in the character's own right like, Ever) to be a funny little guy, & winston is supposed to be too "incorrect" to Not be inferior, so rian has to, as all winners must, hate this autistic friend coworker even as billions is like, no, thinking that autistic person is your funny little personal possession to Use & Discard how you want is nice & caring. another layer of misery. as winston is also of course gnc, but more in the Joie De Vivre style like when they were more actually parallel & proximate in rian's first few pre hiatus episodes so she was also less miserable & like, still had a Gnc energy as well, but More Chill, less like becoming more closeted / reined in towards "correctness," which sure feels like the very shift from 5x08 on that isn't likely to be So Deliberate on billions' part, rather than nah this is a nice Ascent, though with some conflict to be sure. she loves the makeup routine every morning, don't worry

meanwhile just per examples like having broken out this pic the other day i was like And Here Comes Rian, Closetedly, uncomfortably, aptly holding hands with the discomfort of rian having to be an asshole to winston & like what Emotiveness can you give this role that isn't giving the energy of like fighting for its life being held under the surface drowning. which, as ever, like well it would be a ton of fun if it was On Purpose: getting worse, it being too late to turn back, making the choice as soon as its presented like sure i'd Love to be the normal one and be the bully, struggling with the choice but ultimately betraying the Cost of, say, having basic respect much less affection for your weird [bullying target] coworkers, loser geek whatever style but just with Everyone advising / encouraging oh leave that association behind, &/or that Influence behind ofc if billions also let winston talk for longer ever, & just sticking to it like well that's career success then idc....anything sure could've meant anything but here we are, & billions was like ah no :) it was just an ascent all along

like it should be going harder in some direction lol but the look is afraid to, just giving the feel of supposed safely gnc Yet Not Too Much looks sort of thrown together with as little chance of holding as tmc does without the [you can't have a fund without a scapegoat] & yknow just like, that even with billions not deigning to use winston as plot device as often as rian & thus at least giving him a little tiny bit more breathing room in his otherwise [punching bag] &/or [background character] material (& in their never intending to force winston to be a Correct Winner role anyway, unlike for rian. who was correct winner from the start vs winston's origin as supposed detested loser) is enough to spare him either from being held back by the scruff of the neck even in what he Does get, billions gets scared & will indulge Plenty in the joys of dehumunizing treatment for him but like, winston can't break out bmc level Not Fitting In things lest he pull focus from people who matter in the 5 sec he gets to draw a breath & say something before getting shitted on, or distract from the correct experience of Vicarious Revelry in shitting on him b/c like oh but ableism at disabled people would be Impolite. dollar bill can yell the r word b/c we'd never say aloud "winston is autistic" & wags can violate whatever boundaries he wants b/c he's wags & winston's winston, the sort of person we can sense Deserves That. which is also rian but like this is due to being a woman & if we let her go :( then that's that on Respect. can't disrespect her when she's So Epic (incrementally losing hope of any particular traits that aren't like, the accidental closeted trans character, the most abusive coworker) like the Quants Duo parallels / Conversation between these roles sure never ceases, just that we get both sides of the tragedy of how billions thinks abt its Losers / Winners binary, and its gender binary, and [everyone here is neurotypicals] also binary. less & less room for either's joie de vivre when like, even as winston got to truly keep that extra room he got from the start for his Loserness, rian & everyone else is just getting more awful when directing any attention at him at all, as billions shifts into like "yeah the most we'd focus is a redux of Vicarious Killing / whatever power trip you feel like a la 3x03, only a plot device in that the plot is 'don't we all love wags doing this & wish we were him'" & meanwhile also giving up on rian being a character anywhere in there like no, general asshole, basically an axe capper, always planned to be here forever until she arbitrarily easily peaces out for a reason forced into the episode that doesn't make sense but what else were we ever gonna do? explore anything? like how a character is an autistic person we can supposedly only imagine relishing using & hurting? like how there might even be more than one trans person in a room at the same time ever? like, as always, the thoughts are in progress & noncomprehensive but like, it also just indeed feeling like rian's Closeted Trans energy is just not viable either, along with billions biding its time a couple eps before winston must die, along with [taylip is so Peers & Not Cishet that billions gets scared] like aahh no time for that....

another last minute quant duo pic like yay sweater & hair down lol giving the feeling of More of a [just like. whatever] vibe that's More comfortable for it b/c effort at allegedly more gnc performance only makes one more aware of the dissonance / Problems there. but oh whew it's pinkish & she doesn't look as much like someone Not Wearing Makeup as winston so we're safe, i'm sure. rip to the potential for the quants to Actually be square pegs together, fitting like "here, they Do stand together as a unit, you see" & then temper rian doubling down on that by lashing out at winston for his cues to please treat him better. meanwhile winston and his Also unusual outfits that he seems more comfortable with at least to the point it doesn't feel like it's only a matter of time before he Must change it up. whereas rian's more chill looks are more chill but also in a [i'm just going to wrestle less with gender today] resignation kind of way. the Quant Duo Autistic / Gnc / Trans Actually "Weird" Peership being reined in last second too like oh don't worry :) rian hurts him. billions is never gonna break out of having its Winners and having them have to be Better than the losers and express that in the only way that counts: having them dehumanize those inferior parties & show they have the power to act accordingly....but it's like, i think they could've imagined letting, say, a character they consider a woman like not have that makeup on every now & then. could've taken off a bra to wrestle & had armpit hair. getting stuck with the Tension of billions considering weirdness inferiority & then it's like aahh eesh Another trans person?? something it wouldn't consider b/c like oh but can't you just be a woman who wears pants :) Mitigate any queerness please :) ahh can't people who act weird be bringing it upon themselves & only if they present their Disability License will we be embarrassed & totally respectful now. how Couldn't a woman be without question sexually available to a Correct Man & without question beyond the insult of an autistic guy's sexuality & only question the textually queer sexuality possibilities b/c uhhh haha it's just Too epic, sorry, a pattern with taylor's sexuality being so discreetly overlooked, You're Welcome....Billions Imagine: rian gets to be a guy (& more gnc at any time) & be winston's friend & be Actually at odds ever with anything going on around here in a way that meant anything enough to really affect it & not end up with rian being a fully exciseable element despite all the intended alleged importance & meaning i'm sure, in being granted the heavenly rewards deserved by being an asshole axe capper but also a woman. winston also exciseable but he wasn't supposed to be important, & you lose out on so much Flair from his presence in the meantime whereas like rian's best contribution just for Being There is having that [closed trans character] tension, as once left entirely to her own devices it's just like, yep, basically another generic axe cap style presence, great. could've at least taken off eye shadow for this & like worn a tee once