#do I say that often enough?
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I don't see people gas up gnc and butch transfems nearly enough, can we get a fuckin round of applause for gnc and butch transfems
#spitblaze says things#transgender#transfem#mtf#several very good friends of mine are butch/gnc transfems and they both rule immensely#also theres just not enough appreciation for butch/gnc women generally but especially not transfem ones#not to do performative activism while having a post about not being a performative activist going around#i just wanna shout out a group that i feel is often overlooked#doin numbers
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main take aways from Halloween (1978) rewatch:
michael myers is canonically 21??? this bitch should be at the club
*sees tiddies* ***MURDEROUS RAMPAGE NOISES***
that's it that's the movie
outside of the fact that everyone who has sex is murdered by the narrative, this is a surprisingly chill portrayal of female sexuality? these teen girls are horny and actively enjoying Getting It On with their boytoys. no pushy boyfriends sneaking in through their bedroom windows--these ladies are taking the initiative to sneak out and GET SOME. one of them gets laid and then immediately orders her boyfriend to get her a beer. (yes she gets Slashered soon afterward, but so does the boyfriend so honestly, gender equality.) yes the Final Girl is the only one not having sex, but she's not bullied for that, nor are her friends slut shamed except possibly by being murdered by the narrative
actually the only character who is shown being morally condemned on-screen is michael myers. specifically FOR his violent overreaction to other people's sex lives. (people he is spying on). metaphorically, the villain is American Puritanism sticking its judgy nose into other people's business.
aka Michael Myers Is A Republican
but actually the real villain is the doctor. guy's a judgemental, shaming, pathologizing asshole. and he's been in charge of michael's care since he was SIX YEARS OLD? kid never had a chance. i'd go on a killing spree too
also the parents. where are the parents? it's halloween night and all the teenage girls are home babysitting their younger siblings? come to think of it, michael's first victim was his own older sister, whom he killed while she was babysitting him. teen girls are really shouldering a labour burden here. maybe parentification is the true villain
side note: mike commits his first murder wearing a clown costume...which is never referenced again? his 'iconic' costume is a generic mask and wig and jumpsuit, when we coulda had a Killer Clown Michael Myers??? travesty
i like how the Final Girl and her friend casually smoke weed in her car. yeah she's an honor student and her friend is the sheriff's daughter. yeah they smoke weed. so what it's 1978
(to reiterate, mike is 21 and should be at the club. im not saying he shouldn't be rampaging, im saying it's sad that he broke out, tasted freedom for the first time in his life, and immediately snuck back into his childhood home to go rampaging. let's have a remake where he goes to a nightclub and has a few beers. maybe some slutty dancing. then rampage)
oh no he's hot
#HALLOWEEN#halloween the movie#michael myers#do you think he's a mike? mikey? to his friends? if slashers had friends?#i'll be honest i was expecting this movie to be way more of a bitch to its female characters#i mean yeah they died but so did some dudes#there's just a lack of cattiness compared to the way most later movies portrayed teenage girls idk#yeah the Final Girl is a Virgin and a Bookworm. but there's no bullying or any strong sense that's she's morally superior to everyone else#mostly she AND the other girls feel a bit sorry for her lack of a social life. one even tries to set her up with a date to the school dance#solidarity! trying to get your nerd friend laid!#overall it's just teenagers being teenagers and then a slasher comes in and ruins everything with his Lack Of Chill#like yeah dude sometimes teenagers have sex. get over it#also something to be said about how while the girl who survives is the one who isn't sexually active and dresses conservatively...#ultimately those things aren't ENOUGH to prevent her from being targeted#you could say that the other girls 'provoked' the villain (the same way women irl are so often accused of provoking their attackers)#but ultimately that doesn't keep the Final Girl safe. it just delays the inevitable.#because violent men never need excuses. no matter how eager society is to provide them.#ultimately she is at the mercy of the same violent whims because it was never her behavior that invited the violence.#gendered violence doesn't need an invitation.#also she doesn't save herself the doctor saves her#it's not her actions or choices that put her in danger OR save her from it--once again it is the whim of a man#no this wasn't intended to be a feminist movie it's just fun how you could argue it that way
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obsessive
#did i put more effort into this than i needed to? yes. did i put myself through unnecessary pain drawing fighting scenes? yes#but i learned how to outline my strokes so maybe i won after all#i thought about it and i think it turned out ok drawing the eyes differently. like the way i usually draw em#although i dont know if that says much since i change my art style every couple weeks but eh#had fun playing with grayscale and limited palette. i want to do that more often dhghdg#although idk whens the next time i will have enough energy to commit to the bit and do.. this#theyre fucking stupid your honor. for every art we get of them acting dramatic and yearning (/pos) i make dumb shit like this#equivalent exchange girlies!#lego monkie kid#lmk#monkie kid#lmk shadowpeach#shadowpeach#lmk sun wukong#lmk swk#sun wukong#lmk macaque#lmk six eared macaque#six eared macaque#liu er mihou#my art#myart#doodles#comic#lmk monkey king#lmk fanart
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consumed by the inevitable
#messyr#you know- I kept thinking: One day. The cage will be open but I feel like I'll stay. Because if I run- I'd wind up dead from their bullet#so I just- tend to- follow as much as I want to rebel and put sense into this fuckass household. I hate seeing the others in pain as well#and it hurts more that it feels like I can NEVER be the one to break this cycle of abuse- when I knew from the start- when I knew too much#but here I am ending up like the rest of them- helpless and unable to do jackshit about the situation. I cant say or do anything at all!#I dont want to end up like them- if anything I want to BREATHE- i want all of us to LIVE without this pain that has existed for generations#I want to help so bad no matter how much I know I am unloved.#no matter how much hate i carry- no matter how much burden- Underneath it all- I'm devoted to them- that's how fucked up I am#i know i'll never be enough. I know how often I think of death and wish it.#But I have a dream to achieve and I am not planning to die until I reach it. Not yet. If pain is where I strive best then so be it.#doodle#vent art#artists on tumblr#bpd#toxic behavior#learned helplessness
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working in a factory has you thinking so much about the insane chain of labor & transport that goes into making literally anything
#like first you realize that You are making & doing things that you previously had thought - if you'd thought abt it at all - were automated#& you become incredibly aware of how all the materials you're working with came from somewhere - these plastic clips are from france; this#fabric is from india etc. and that there are people in factories there making those things and that they are also probably getting their#materials from somewhere#one of the little things that makes me think about this the most is we have these 50m rolls of cotton banding we see onto canvas & nets#and in theory it should be all one piece but sometimes it's actually two pieces which you discover when you get far enough in the roll and#find that there's a join where it's been stitched together by hand (!). which is a little annoying bc we can't use that bit so you have#to cut that but out & stitch it together again on the machine which interrupts what you were sewing before & slows you down But it's so#striking to me bc like it's really easy to look at this banding & it's so exactly the same & obviously machine made it's Really easy to#forget that there are people there running these machines. who notice there's a break & have to stop what they're doing & get a needle &#thread and stitch it together. by hand! like someone somewhere has handled exactly where I'm touching it & i don't even know where in the#world they are!#the other place this happens is often on the selvedge edge of the fabric there's writing in pencil i don't know ye meaning of but evidently#was important to the process somewhere & someone wrote that out#idk like it's really easy to watch those videos of really specific machines in factories & convince yourself that everything is automated#but the truth is the vast majority of stuff is not & is made by people doing that. & even when it is there are people running those machine#<- and i'm not saying this in a soppy way tbc. this whole system is a nightmare of exploitation & to some degree I'm just continually amaze#by how insane this whole process is & also how completely un-transparent it is unless you are made to think abt it#another thing is noticeable when you look at our orders that most of what we sell isn't to customers it's to shops who then sell to custome#which then makes you think like. those plastic clips from france are they actually made in france or are we just buying them from france?#are they actually made by underpaid people in a country the name of which is completely lost to the chain of production at this point#anyways none of this is new it's just when you are working in a factory using this stuff you start wondering like.#what's the factory like that the person who stitched this banding together like. what's their day like there#wish we could talk abt how fucked up this all is - for them especially probably - together#thoughts
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so sorry but that post about "the reason boys and men are being radicalized is bc girls are mean to them" is driving me up the fucking wall. maybe i really am just on a different internet than the rest of you but. this sentiment of "women are being bitches who don't care about men and that's why there's Problems now" is like. such an alpha male podcast classic take. like it's literally "not all men". it doesn't magically become better bc u say stuff with liberal terminology. jesus christ
#mine#caveats i know i KNOW some ppl are annoying about this#but are we really gonna pretend thats whats radicalizing men?#that women aren't nice enough to them anymore?#'but IM a man???? so her post is about me so I'm gonna do violent misogyny'#the way u all can't fucking WAIT to blame women for everything!!!!#like are we really saying kamala lost the election cuz women aren't nice anymore???????#like somehow!!!!! i don't think that's the problem!!!!!#this shit starts young. it often is predicated on the thought#that boys are inherently superior. and that the word of a man matters more than the word of a woman#why do u think so many of these men disrespect their mothers#yet venerate male family figures who aren't around or do as much#sorry the popularity of that post pissed me off SO BAD#ACTUALLY EVERYTHING WRONG IS WOMEN'S FAULT!!!!!!!!!#U JUST HAVE TO CENTER MEN AND THEIR COMFORT IN UR LIFE MORE!!!!!!!!!!!#feminism
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thinking about how mulder loves to get scully a gift, usually terribly heartfelt, even if disguised as something flippant:
the superbowl vhs tape he brings her when she wakes up from her coma in one breath (and her deadpan "i knew there was a reason to live")
tickets for a football game to watch together in irresistible
bringing her flowers to the hospital in memento mori (he lies, saying he stole them from a guy with broken legs to make her laugh)
the birthday keychain in tempus fugit (and when she finds a meaning to it, he claims "i just thought it was a pretty cool keychain")
that is a man who is always thinking about her.
#you can just picture him at the store thinking “oh boy she's gonna love this :)”#i think the superbowl vhs one chokes me up the most because he's trying so hard to play it cool when he had just lost her#and he needs to break the ice somehow because he hates to put those big feelings into words#he's more into saying what he means with touch and subtext#it's as if he needed SOMETHING off of the shelf at the store to say “i'm glad you're back. i missed you. i hope you're well”#so he goes with a dumbass VHS she is never going to watch. just to see her recognize his coded declaration of love.#and that exhausted smile she reserves for his antics#and it makes me tear up! still! thinking about it!#i know love languages are problematic but i do think there is something underrated about giving gifts as an act of love#of having your thoughts for someone being represented with a physical object. making that love tangible. you can touch it.#(it works very well on me because i tend to assume if you're out of sight you're not thinking about me)#(so looking at a little trinket someone gave me is like oh!!! they actually are thinking about me often. enough to find this Thing)#anyway. that is my emotional ramble for the evening. please enjoy#AND DISCLAIMER: i am sure there are other examples of him giving gifts i forgot and that there are more yet to come#but as a reminder i have only seen up to s5 ep 3 so! pls no spoilers even if i do tag this for the general public#okay promise? promise no spoilers in the tags? thank youuuuu mwah#the x files#txf#msr#fox mulder
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gonna say, something or someone being misogynistic is on its own a good enough reason not to like it or not to spend time with that person. It's not just that misogyny is so normalised that not watching a show or not spending with someone just because of misogyny is treated as not enough of a reason - it's also that as a woman, you are under constant scrutiny and constantly thrown tests to show that you are 'not one of the difficult ones', that you can 'take a joke'.
But 'your friend keeps saying degrading things about women' is a good enough reason not to hang out with that person or not to go to a gathering. 'i read the last book by his author and it was deeply misogynistic' is a good enough reason why you don't want to read things by that author anymore. 'This comedian specifically makes a lot of mean-spirited jokes about women' reason enogh not to watch that or see that show, even if your friends want to go. 'This content creator keeps going on weird tangents about women' reason enough not to watch their stuff or support them.
and it is especially a very good reason not to date someone.
#last night i rewatched hbomberguy's plagiarism video and I kept noticing how many female supporters James Somerton had#despite being such a giant misogynist#and this sent me down this mental rabbithole of how often it happened that we had a guy in our friend group who was rude/weird with women#but it was just an issue everyone danced around#and I feel like part of the reason is that misogyny alone is not considered a good enough reason not do something#and I can already see counter-arguments like 'so you're saying I CAN'T enjoy xyz'#I'm aware that it's impossible to cut out everything misogynistic and that you would miss out on a lot of great works if you do#but I'm trying to get out of the habit of immediately hedging what I'm saying and describing every case scenario exception#I'm not saying that you aren't allowed to do something you want to (who am I to do that)#I'm saying that IF you DON'T want to do something because of misogyny - that's reason enough#if something you do in your free time and should be for your enjoyment is so uncomfortable and becomes a chore you are doing for others#you don't have to.#and then the last one. the whole can of worms of how many women date men who hate women...
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can i just say. and this is probably a niche hill to die on. that i am so gobsmacked every time someone vaguely hints at the idea that jotaro doesn't care meaningfully for the other crusaders, usually particularly kakyoin and joseph, when those two actually tend to be the ones he reacts to being hurt the hardest
like he cares for his loved ones!!!! that literally plays into his character motives in every single part he shows up in!!! stop lying to me!!!!!!!
#me.txt#jjba#i'm going to ramble in tags actually. excuse me#ok. rereading sdc and so confused at the general perception of jotaro and his friends/family. he's not NEARLY as flat or as dickish#i understand that the anime (particularly the dub) tends to slander him but even then he still clearly cares for them! i'm confused#i also understand that a lot of people dig against jotaro and kakyoin as a dynamic because 'they're popular' and that generally disliking#popular things across media is a thing that i've seen consistently everywhere but the discredit to them simply as a DUO and not even as a#pairing is so..... odd..... like they're considered to be a duo that clicks for a reason. i enjoyed them even before i got into the fandom#every time i see someone say jotaro is overrated/dull i take a shot and assume they're an anime-only or only read the manga like once btw#joseph and jotaro also have a neat dynamic and they obviously both love and care for each other. like they're not going to go around loudly#or anything but literally the entirety of the lovers and the prelude to the dio fight IS jotaro being worked up over joseph getting hurt#equally i don't know if it translates to the anime as much but joseph is VERY complimentary when it comes to jotaro. like he sings his#praises so often and reminds everyone that he's his grandson so frequently (d'arby the gamer is a good example of this). either way it's so#peculiar....... there's not enough avdol and jotaro content btw (also in canon) because jotaro obviously looks up to him and avdol jokes#around with him on the occasion they interact after their intro which doesn't start very well. it's very cute#i do think an important thing to note about jotaro's character is how he acts AFTER his intro because he's so drastically different. early#jotaro and later jotaro aren't the same character and i do not mean this in a character development way. excluding the jail incident he's#completely different and probably shouldn't really be taken into account (especially considering the amount of slapstick in araki's intros)#and i think that's really???? what people center on for his character? Which sucks balls bad!#anyways. i could ramble more about this if asked i have so much to say but sigh. jotaro cares so much for his friends and family he's not a#flat fully cold asshole character regardless of whether you watch the anime or ova or read the manga. you just have poor media literacy#i wouldn't recommend watching solely the anime for his character though. the dub also changes a lot so it's... questionable#i love the anime and it's still important for him though. also adds neat stuff. i need to stop myself. i have many thoughts on the matter#jotaro kujo#joseph joestar#noriaki kakyoin#adding in case anyone sees: i am not saying that he is perfect about this. in fact he is very ass about it with jolyne and holly and that's#very important. he also is in fact an asshole sometimes. NOT as much as you guys are making him though!#please don't get me started on how much of a dick etc people make kakyoin to veer away from the 'woobified' characterizations of him#in fact i think that's bad if not worse because it CLAIMS to be in character. hes a prim asshole at times but not that angry or dishevelled
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PIGEON’S GPOSE WRAPPED 2024
one / two / three / four / five / six / seven / eight / nine / ten / eleven / twelve
Gpose Wrapped 2023
WHEW! Here it is! My favorite shots from over the year, one for each month (or... close enough!) I love putting these together it's such a fun way to look back and I'm always stunned at what I was up to at the start of the year. Odette started the year surrounded by friends and she ended the year surrounded by friends! How lucky is she. I almost had enough Skeleton shots for the first six months of the year, but then I got to March and actually gasped when I remembered how we all played Mermaids together! That was such a fun time!! Man, I have so much fun taking my little screenshots!!! It has led me to some of my favorite people!! I'm so grateful I still love this hobby and screenshots.
Thank you guys for being here, thanks for making stuff, and thanks for sharing it!
(down here is a second, secret gpose wrapped)
one / two / three / four / five / six / seven / eight / nine / ten / eleven / twelve / thirteen / fourteen
This year I had more than enough shots to do a second Gpose Wrapped (and then some) featuring my friends' OCs! That's wild!! These aren't in any particular order and one of them never made it to Tumblr. But I had so much fun making these and sharing them with my friends!! Thank you to the people who reached out and traded with me! Next year I want to be brave enough to do more shots with friends. Brave enough to ask, brave enough to brainstorm them, braver!!! There are people I gotta catch up with, too!
#Pigeon Screens#Gpose Wrapped 2024#FFXIV Screenshots#AHHHHHHHHH#I LIKE DOING GPOSE SO MUCH#this was so hard because I have so many favorites (all of them)#thank god not all of my shots feature this frame (': this was actually really nice#I got to go back and actually SEE how often I use certain things#(Props or frames or colors or expressions)#Also it was very fun to have the year neatly divided into pre-dt and dt!!!!!!#I feel like I am in the minority when I say I am thrilled by the graphical update#Odette got such glow up and with the new face bones I can really round her face out !!!!#i have enough naked shots of odette to do a third gpose wrapped: nekkid edition#i shant.......... but i could#this ALSO made me realize I 1000% could do a skeleton calendar if i want#AND A BITCH MIGHT WANT!!!!#Also I think I DO have enough of Pru and Viatrix to do an “alt” wrapped but i have to close canva for a bit or I will simply explode (:#and if i make a alt wrapped I must make Viatrix a tumblr and carrd.....#at the very least a tumblr#WHY DO I HAVE THREE CHARACTERS NOW??? WHO APPROVED THIS
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this is YOUR 🫵🏼 sign to start making random noises when you feel like it. meowing? go for it. random squeaking? hell yeah man. make noises 🫵🏼 let it out dog
#bluebird.txt#brought to you by i have started letting myself make little noises around my house more#most of the time no one says anything#or around my friends in which case we make noises at each other which is fun!#i just. have a lot in me. and sometimes words aren’t good enough#they’re often not good enough as much as i love them but just meowing or making some fucking sound#helps :)#ideally i’d scream into the void and roll around and look like a crazy person but i do not live near a large empty field or perhaps a fores#or anywhere i can do that. sadly
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i love taking my time. i love working slowly. i love creating things at my own pace
#something something i won’t over think my consistency on my sims four blog#i will i post when i am ready. it is not my job#because why do i stress about not posting quick or often enough. gah thats so silly ….#we’re all just here to have fun. i don’t need to worry about anything else other than having fun w this blog#anyway. say it with me. i love taking my time. i love working slowly. i love creating things at my own pace 🧘#this is me reminding not only myself but YOU too my friend!#all that being said i am working on things between life beating my ass. mwah 🫡
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I know for a fact I've talked about the golden records, but I don't care because here is a sample of some of my favourite greetings on those discs
There is something so vulnerable, precious, and human about sending up pieces of our hearts into space. Even when we know that there may not be anybody out there to hear us, we are still whispering to whomever might listen how much we love them, how much we want to connect. No matter how small the chance is, we're taking it to say that love is real, that we are real.
How is that not something to be in awe over?
#positivity#golden record#though it's been forty-seven years since launch both voyagers have just barely left our solar system#they are between 12-15 BILLION miles away from us#that's 20-24 BILLION kilometers away#i cant go to the club i need to cry uncontrollably about this#love is real#this is why i can never seriously consider apathy to be a poignant commentary about human nature#we never HAD to include this stuff - evidence of our love to completely inconceivable peoples#in fact if we learned anything from scifi maybe it would have been better for us not to say anything at all - to lead other life RIGHT TO US#but we couldn't shut up for five minutes to not say how much we love them and our planet and how enthusiastic we were that we MIGHT be found#we couldn't stop our hand from putting in *so much* effort for the 0.000000001% chance there's Something out there...#...for the chance that that 'something' will even be ABLE to retrieve AND understand our message of love#we absolutely need more golden records <3#to love something without even knowing anything about it .... there's nothing like that in the world#because i love whatever's out there. i think about them so often. i'll unironically pray for their health and safety#do they eat enough? do they look at the stars with wonder too? what's it like to breathe their air? do they know they're loved?
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POV: Your evil murder kitten's mask has slipped and you can see how deep she is drowning in fear and paranoia.
#bg3#baldur's gate 3#minthara#minthara baenre#evil murder kitten#a lot of people forget that minthara has some pretty intense anxiety and PTSD#it truly does bother me that her trauma is often overlooked by the fandom#and many do not see the parallels she has with the other companions (ie Astarion Shadowheart and Lae'zel)#there is no way in hell she did not have some flashbacks in the mind flayer colony#or after seeing Orin as one of the impersonators#one of the biggest Larian L's is not having orin acknowledge minthara if she is in your party (or at all in the game)#minthara will also say nothing mid conversation with orin and only talks about her afterwards#i know that this is larian just not thinking to record or write any dialogue for this#but i've always rationalized it as minthara is just that terrified of orin and is too afraid to speak to her#minthara herself is extremely terrifying and powerful and yet she is terrified of orin#do you have any idea just how badly orin had to have hurt her for minthara of all people to be scared of her?#i also cannot stress this enough: minthara was never a willing participant in anything orin did to her#anything the two may have done together was because minthara was compelled by the tadpole to do#sorry for ranting in the tags - it will happen again
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ill probably delete this in a minute but ive just been fuckin boggled by what ive seen across tumblr in the last few days in particular. its why i havent really been around. like holy fucking shit, its really like some of yall just dont want a chunk of the trans community to exist. like some of yall are thisclose to saying it verbatum. way too many already have. 'shut up sit down be quiet and smile for us' type shit, gee where have i heard that before. oh yeah my entire life cause i was forcefully gendered as someones daughter. shock horror i know. you might be surprised to remember and/or learn that very few trans folks know theyre trans before we're 5, or even 10, and that that gendered experience stays with all of us in both/either small or large ways. either bc we literally dont have a solid identity yet (bc we're very small children), dont have the words, we're repressing it out of fear from how others will treat us, we're actually enjoying or enjoyed being another gender in our childhood, or we just genuinely didnt fuckin know until shit lined up later in life. weird isnt it that transmascs dont pop out as 6'1 brick shithouse cis men when we're born so yall know for certain that we're confused lost girls/women oops i mean big dangerous scary men. its almost like we're transgender too. none of yall actually know what intersectionality is or means
#my t#transandrophobia#yeah ill tag it why tf not#i just dont understand why transmasculinity is scrutinized and dissected like this within the trans community#when its just not the case for other gendered trans folks amongst themselves more often than not these days#which is a good thing! a really really good thing! but why are we scapegoating transmascs#''we need more weird trans people!!'' yall cant even handle like. a pre-everything trans guy coming out for the first time#yall cant handle a pre-everything tguy wearing a tshirt without tearing him to shreds & calling him shit like afag/theyfab & ukelele boy#im tired of my identity being treated as a debate. i had enough of that in highschool as#very literally. **the only trans kid in my grade** surrounded by cis teachers & peers USING ME AND MY BODY AS A TALKING POINT#i was the only one who wasnt deeply closeted that is. and holy fuck do i still not blame anyone for being closeted in that school#why is it only okay to try to separate trans ppl from our gender when we're not fem/me#why is one celebrated and the other treated like radioactive waste **within our own community**#god i need to find an irl community fuckin badly online trans circles are hell on earth#ill be describing smth that happened to me as a clocky tguy and someone else will say TO MY FACE#that what happened to me wasnt bc i was a clocky guy but purely bc i was trans#like i. what. how. how does that make any kind of fucking sense#i wouldnt be clocky if i wasnt trying to look like my gender. like i. hello?#would u say that to any other trans person or am i just that special?
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I think it’s so ironic that the Pony Express escapes a lot if not all blame in discussion. I can’t even say I am excused from it but it’s just how hard people circle back to the characters alone without considering the environment they were made to be in.
Why would they design a ship where only two of the rooms lock? Not the bathroom? Not the sleeping quarters? We assume that all the companies in the universe are this shallow and careless to their workers but we explicitly know the Pony Express in extra vile. They are fed processed slop pack they can’t even really cook and the ration of those pack is meager at best. They hired and made people with a plethora of conflicting demeanors and beliefs work together on a mission where cohesion is important if not an outright necessity and punish them for not being happy about it. There’s no social protocols, not chain of command other than Captain’s word/choice and the only way to enforce that is with a literal firearm. They don’t allow them to celebrate freely and even took away leisure activities that would make them less stir crazy. They are only allowed a few hours of sleep despite their being no other real responsibilities or work on the ship, no matter the position or its importance. With any crew, with any level of synergy, this was a powder keg waiting for a spark.
I’m not saying characters that made mistakes didn’t make huge ones, but I think part of the horror is that at least for some (this is targeting Jimathan) those mistakes are partly made by a force of the hand. There’s a running theme of lack of choice and being forced into something and the very nature of how The Pony Express expected them to function plays a big part.
#like even I forget that all actions taken in the game were people trying to remain in protocol outside of Jimmy#Anya couldn’t have jus stolen the scanner and got the gun cause she’s a sensible person and knows she’d be in legal trouble#or get everyone’s credits docked or just hoping that there’s some chain of command for this sort of thing#Daisuke only really acted in accordance to his direct superiors because he’s an intern he wouldn’t know the first thing about protocol or#what to do in any situation. like this is essentially implied to be his first real job#Curly may be the captain but he still has to follow rules and procedures and we see with the letter the Pony Express likely has very shady#and shitty ones. he gives the best not depressing or totalitarian options he can otherwise everything is just his word which aren’t even his#or like him just asserting his position with the gun which he wouldn’t do#Swansea follows the book begrudgingly because he’s trying to stay right and not fall back into who he once was#I feel like it’s not incorporated nearly enough that the environment they were dropped into heavily affected their actions#say there was a single person higher than Curly or a plan of action when a crew member is considered a danger to himself or others#I think it’s fascinating how people will stick to protocol and break when they get scared or to their limit#cause the game shows how normalcy deteriorates and I think discounting what the characters where put through by the company takes a way a#real and scary aspect of what happened to Anya because as a friend Curly didn’t do enough for her at all his comfort was there and he#appreciated but it was a distracted sort of care but as a Captain he didn’t protect her but he’s was a Captain of the Pony Express like what#if they told him to wait to? he still should’ve done something because Anya was actively suffering and Jimmy should’ve been reprimanded but#he’s a captain with orders like the Tulpar isn’t his ship in the same way like#god I wanna explain this in a way that makes sense but the Tulpar is like designed to breed animosity and work on the bare requirements one#needs to get things done that’s not how people work and if anyone deviates or interrupts that it literally has nothing to handle it#it becomes clear that if any social unrest happens why they just say fuck it and give the Captain the gun because if something happens the#blame can easily be placed on the person they put in charge despite what they put them#in charge of like this is just like work place harassment irl because often the perpetrators are not punished but the supervisors for not#stopping them with meetings or cuts or whatever but the environment the company fostered is rarely fixed or blamed#like why was this allowed to occur? and honestly that is because Jimmy did what he did#ask me about this if this is confusing cause I worded it crazy#mouthwashing#mouthwashing game#the pony express
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