#dinks daily thought

[notnotnightwing]

Why do the backs of my thighs hurt so much, jesus-

[fictionadventurer]

The main character George Bailey runs a bank that is about to be driven into the ground while his competitor relishes this opportunity. He tries to commit suicide, but God sends a guardian angel to distract George from suicide. Confiding with the guardian angel that he wishes he was never born, the guardian angel shows him what the world would be like without him: 

His competitor gouged the money out of the town, leaving it poor and crime-ridden

His wife remains unmarried

George isn't there to save his brother from drowning, which means his brother isn't there to save an American troop transport from a Kamikaze attack

A pharmacist goes to jail for manslaughter because George isn't there to prevent an accidental contamination of a prescription

I'm the sort of person who remains unfazed even from watching graphic war footage on Reddit and horror movies like Event Horizon. But It's a Wonderful Life sends a chill down my spine - because its message does not apply to me and most other people. Its message that "you'd leave a large hole in the world if you were gone" only applies to people like that of the main character George Bailey, namely someone who:

Saves lives

Takes corporate social responsibility seriously

Can avoid being corrupted by greed

Is a good spouse and parent

I am none of those things. I've never had the guts to try saving another person's life, I've never been in the position to use a business for corporate social responsibility, and I don't have a wife and kids (and frankly, that might be for the best because I might become abusive). Would I leave behind a large hole if I were gone? No. I've thought this movie through after the first time I've watched it and have come to the conclusion that my friends would probably find some other friend, and my family would probably be richer, had I not existed.

How is anyone not supposed to have existential dread after watching this movie? Sure, George Bailey is an ideal to strive for, but most of us will fail to achieve one of the above criteria, if not all 4 of them. It sure is comforting to think of ourselves as leaving behind a huge hole if we were gone, but in practice, this does not actually hold true for most of us if we think about it. Most of us are too insignificant, too cowardly, too incompetent, and too corruptible to have a positive impact as significant as George did in the movie.

At best, It's a Wonderful Life is a wake-up call. The movie hammers in a painful but necessary message that the world will be worse off without heroic people like George Bailey, but most of us are not heroic. We can all strive to make positive changes in our lives, but even if we do, it's no guarantee that we'd become indispensable pillars of our communities like George was in the movie.

The thing is, you know that nice, neat little list you laid out? Showing all the heroic things that George Bailey had done with his life?

George Bailey couldn't see it.

We could see it because we got the highlight reel of all the most impactful moments of George Bailey's life--forty-some years condensed into an hour and a half. George Bailey had to live that life minute by agonizing minute, where most of the time was taken up by the mundane tasks of daily living.

From his perspective, he was nobody. He was nothing. He had given up all his dreams of travel and success to work a boring office job in a rinky-dink town. His life was nothing but going to work in the office all day and then coming home to a drafty house full of kids that, for all his hard work, he could barely make enough money to support. He got some satisfaction out of helping people, but they were all little people. He didn't have power like Potter, or wealth like Sam Wainwright. He had built no big bridges or skyscrapers; he wasn't a hero like his brother. He hadn't even gone to college. He was just a little guy in a little town who might as well not have existed for how insignificant his life was. Going with Clarence to the other reality lets him step outside the crushing grind of daily life to see the big picture. Then he understands that he really did make a difference, through dozens of little choices scattered throughout his entire life--but he couldn't have seen it without heaven's help.

George did have opportunities to do good that most of us don't have--but we have opportunities that he didn't have. Those things George did, while good and impactful, aren't the only heroic things that someone can do. There are lots of different ways to do good in the world, and no guarantee that we'll even recognize when we do them. The point of George's story is that no one can say that they didn't make a difference in the world--because none of us can truly see the full effect of our actions.

Sure, our good impact might be smaller and less dramatic than George's. If we didn't exist, perhaps other people would step into the gap that we left. But it wouldn't be the same. It wouldn't be a perfect fit. The world would still lose something from not having our unique, one-of-a-kind personality going through the world and taking action and making choices and building relationships. Our friends and family and community would still lose out from not knowing us. We might not do everything right--but neither did George; that man had some major missteps and personality flaws that didn't erase the good effect he had. There's no reason to think that our mistakes make our life not worth living.

George Bailey can certainly be a wake-up call to move through life more intentionally. He can be an inspiration that reminds us that the difficult choice to do good--to act out of love rather than selfishness--can be worth all the suffering that it puts us through. But he's not supposed to be an unattainable goal. Good is good no matter when in life we do it. Little actions can make a big difference. Ordinary people can have an impact far beyond what they expected. We don't have to be a pillar of the community to have a life that was worth living.

George's triumph in the end is a validation of the hard choices he made to support the community--but it's also a triumph of all the little people who live ordinary lives and have no idea just how important we are. George Bailey's gift was that he got to see how big of an impact he made--but he never would have expected it beforehand. If you think you don't matter, that your lack of existence wouldn't make a hole in the world, you're already like George Bailey. So don't be so quick to think that your life doesn't make a difference--one day you may just get the chance to learn how wrong you are.

[strawbubbysugar]

HI I HAVE A COUPLE OF QUESTIONS 🙋

1. What would Monty's reaction be to Stink? Y'know, once the big guy is fixed and not acting like a sewer rat. Will he help take care of him?

2. Are we going to get a oneshot of Morgan and Monty interacting in any way? Maybe Morgan seeing Monty be slowly repaired with every visit and even helping when they can, or after he's fixed and they go home together where they talk things out and have a heart-to-heart conversation? I like to imagine ""The Big Talk"" happens on the way back home in Morgan's dinked up truck after a few minutes or even hours of painfully awkward silence and a bit of strained small talk, but seeing Monty's reaction to Morgan's home and us even getting to know what it looks like would be nice, too! I think seeing the home or living evironment of a character helps me understand them better, plus it's just interesting.

3. A bit of a continuation of my previous question- what does Monty think about Y/ngineer not being his soulmate? Will he ever find out what Morgan did to Y/ngineer? If so, how will he react to it? I can't remember if he even knows they're soulmates with Sun/Moon/Eclipse, so how will he feel if he saw them being affectionate, whether he knows or not? Is he over Y/ngineer and ready to move on with Morgan? On the other hand, what does Morgan think of Monty being their soulmate, Monty in general, and about having an animatronic for a soulmate? I can't remember if this was ever discussed, I apologize if so.

4. Will we get an update on how both Roxy and Chica are doing on the farm that's set a couple of months or so in the future, after everyone is repaired and the dust has settled? Will we get a little fluffy look into their daily life, relationship and how they both react to farm work? Or rather some hurt/comfort when the sky is depressingly dark, the house is dead quiet and the memories and phantom pains won't stop? I miss my girls. 😢

5. Could you share some thoughts you have for a potential oneshot with Cassie and Roxy? Maybe a bit of hurt/comfort with Cassie visiting and comforting Roxy after, y'know, everything, or seeing her when she'll all fixed up? Will Cassie get to meet Chica? (I'm assuming Cassie has a mother that's still around so would that make Chica her 3rd mother? 🤔)

6. How is Maddie? I think we had brief mentions of her near the end but I hope she's doing well and spending enough time with her dads! Juggling repairing 5 animatronics, taking care of a baby, and planning for the future must be overwhelming for Matt, even with Y/ngineer, Eclipse and his parents there to help him. :( Will we see Y/ngineer or/and Eclipse play with little Maddie? That would be so so cute! I suspect the boys didn't see a lot of infants in the daycare. 🥺 Speaking of... how did Maddie react to the long trip to Twin Falls? She's is an angel but I assume she didn't take the move too well.

SORRY FOR ALL THE QUESTIONS YOU DON'T HAVE TO ANSWER ANY OF THEM IF YOU DON'T WANT TO OR IF YOU'VE ALREADY ANSWERED THEM BEFORE. Love you (platonically) have a good day okaybye. 🙇

AAH I LOVE ANSWERING QUESTIONS TY THIS IS LIKE A PRESENT TO ME!!!!

I honestly think he'd be scared of him at first. like not over the top screeching but he'd refuse to hold him, and he'd freeze when hes put on him. eventually hed have a begrudging respect for stink bc stink likes to bite

Oooh that really puts me in the mood to write about them! Maybe Ill do a oneshot tonight for morgan & monty :)

He isnt stoked about the fact that they arent soulmates, he was starting to feel pretty sure that they were. but he isnt distraught over it - its more of a workplace crush than a real true "i need you" crush. He'd be pissed that morgan did what they did to them, but at the same time, hes done some pretty bad shit to people he cares about too - its another thing they can relate about. he sees morgan trying to be a better person and respects that. If monty were a human man he would 100% be morgan's type down to a t. however, they arent the monster fucker robot lover the y/ngineer is, so it takes more time for them to get used to the idea of a giant crocodile machine being their soulmate. it gets easier they longer theyre together, and the more they get to know each other!

I might write a oneshot for it possibly, along with cassie coming for a visit!! :) it'd be touched upon in the sequel if I ever write it!

tbh I have less ideas for these guys than I do other characters (mostly bc roxy is a mother NO DRAMA and no drama means less story hddsf) but I could see myself writing a oneshot where cassie comes and sleeps over with her dad's permission!

Maddie is doing wonderfully! She's a little angel and her grandparents are watching her while Matt and the gang make the move to the new home! Matt will drive back and pick her up once theyre settled in, so it isnt too much for her. Once shes there and all settled in, Eclipse ends up watching her most of the time while matt and y/ngineer run the shop. After someone sees him doing so well with their kids at the playground while babysitting maddie, they ask him if he runs a daycare, and he decides that YES, he does! Which is how Clear Skies Daycare starts! :)

[notsocheezy]

Brain Curd #283

Brain Curds are lightly edited daily writing - usually flash fiction and sometimes terrible on purpose.

Thanks for letting us be frank with you. Read the rest of The Frank Program here on Tumblr!

“Welcome back to The Frank Program. I'm your host, Daryl, and today we're going to be frank with you. We’ve got Big Mike handling all the sliders and knobs…”

A heavily compressed, gravelly voice interrupted. “I would have thought you were the one handling ‘knobs’, son! Ha ha ha!”

“... and we have Frank here calling in from California. How’s the weather?”

“Colder than I’d’a expected. I’m bundled up here in my room.”

“That’s great. We’ve also got today’s guest. Would you like to introduce yourself to the audience?”

“Hm…” The guest pondered. “No.”

“That’s fine, I’ll be happy to. Mike, can you up the gain on his input?”

“Sure thing,” Mike replied. “I wouldn’t want to get on your bad side…”

“Thanks. Today’s guest is a longtime favorite of mine. You know him as the host of both Backstab Pantry and Stainless Steal, but to me he’ll always be the face of Chemistry Kitchen. Welcome to the show, Mr. Adam Braun!”

“Thank you, thank you,” Braun bowed. “I just hate to toot my own horn. Much better if you do it.”

“Ha!” Frank chuckled. “He loves tooting horns!”

Mike frowned. “Frankie, can you shut the hell up?”

Daryl’s face remained as still as stone. “Mr. Braun -”

“Call me Adam.”

“Adam, today’s episode is going to release on Christmas day, so I’d like to get the obvious question out of the way first: What tips do you have for our listeners at home who put on this podcast while they prepare dinner?”

“I’d probably tell your listeners that if they want to hear my opinion, they should try watching any number of Christmas themed episodes of Chemistry Kitchen or reading one of the companion cookbooks. However, when the question of safety is at hand, I’m happy to give away free advice to anyone who asks: have a fire extinguisher handy always. Not just for your bird, or roast, or hunk of porky goodness - God forbid - but also all those gosh-darn cheap lights strewn about the house. Electrical fires are no joke. Overcooked poultry is no picnic, but a house fire is a tragedy.”

“Yeesh.” Frank yawned. “This guy sounds like he wears a bowtie.”

Daryl reached around to the mixing board and muted Frank. “Sorry about him.”

“Is that the original host of this show?”

“That’s right.”

“I’ve heard rumors that he was a real piece of work. I guess they were right.”

“Hey,” Mike chimed in. “You know, Frank might not be the best host of all time or anything, but he built this podcast up from nothing. You gotta hand it to him for that. People like hearing what he’s got to say.”

“Mike,” Daryl glared at him. “Let’s not argue with our guest.”

“It’s Christmas, Daryl. You’re not gonna defend your dad?”

“There’s nothing to defend. Anyway, Adam, your fans all know you got your start in the production side of things, working behind the camera rather than in front of it. How much behind the scenes work did you continue doing as the series grew into itself?”

“That’s a good question. At first, it was a real rinky-dink operation. Just me and a couple other guys filming in our producer’s home kitchen. Back then, I developed all the recipes myself. But as the scale of our little show - including its budget and marketing - grew past my own limits, I started putting together a team. I’d say it was seventy-thirty how much I did per episode by then, much like the muscle-to-fat ratio of a good burger - and I was the fat. By the end of the show, the final season, I was so busy with other responsibilities that I was mostly just a host. But the team was solid. Their work was unmatched in quality.”

“Any chance of a comeback?”

“I’ll never say never, but I’m getting old. I come up with little ideas and put them out on my YouTube channel now and then, but you can consider me happily retired.”

“Psst… hey…” Mike tapped Daryl’s shoulder. “Your dad is pissed that you muted him.”

“Too bad.”

“He said it’s his show and he can kick you out if he’s not happy.”

“Ugh. Fine. Unmute him, then.”

Mike clicked the button and Frank’s voice began piping into everyone’s headphones again.

“... and another thing, where does this boy get off tellin’ m​e to shut my mouth? I wouldn’t even be here if he knew how to mind his damn business! ���Merry Christmas!’ Whole lotta Merry Christmas around here, in the damn institution y’all threw me in! I don’t like lookin’ out at the ocean! It’s too damn big! And I…” Frank continued talking, rambling, complaining - whatever you want to call it.

Daryl covered his face.

Adam adjusted his bowtie. “I think I should get going.”

“Yeah, I can understand that.” Daryl leaned on his elbow, little life left in his eyes.

Frank’s diatribe was in one ear and out the other, but it banged pots and pans on the way through.

“This has been The Frank Program…”

“... ending the darn show while I’m talking! Who do you think you are?!? You little…”

“Thanks for letting us be frank with you. Merry Christmas.”

Please comment, reblog, like, and follow if you enjoyed - I'd love to know what you think! See you again tomorrow.

[firelord-frowny]

lololol so in therapy i FINALLYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY Learned Something New About Myself. 

which like, even then, it was something I figured out on my own, but still, I figured it out on my own ~in therapy~ even though the therapist didn’t have to actually tell it to me. Although I guess maybe she engineered it that way? Like maybe she knew it all along, and ~guided~ me to the realization? But I don’t think that’s what happened lmao because she looked kinda surprised when I explained it. Like, it looked like she also hadn’t thought of it that way before, and was having the same “ah-ha” moment as me. 

But anywaay!

LMAOOOOO MY INSANE ABUSIVE FORMER VIOLIN TEACHER FUCKED ME UP WAY MORE THAN I THOUGHT!!!

i mean i KNEW she fucked me up terribly to the point of having an actual trauma response to situations that involved her, and i KNEW she sabotaged my music education and career, and i KNEW she was the reason why i wanted to quit music.

what i did NOT know was how deeply those wounds had bored into even the non-musical parts of my life. 

Somehow I’ve always pictured my musical identity as something separate from my core identity, which I guess is true in some ways, but... 

there has literally never been a time in my life since the age of 10 that my daily and long term goals didn’t center around violin playing. 

I learned how to be a person within a context of being a musician. this shit was literally my ENTIRE LIFE for a really long time. There were 0 things more important than violin. 

so OF COURSE all the damage that got done to me as a musician has had a drastic impact on the non-musical parts of me, too! no FUCKING DUH i can’t convince myself that i’m worthy of even just a rinky dink minimum wage job when I spent the entirety of my adolescence being forced to audition for prestigious programs and competitions that i had NO CHANCE of getting into. I’m constantly fucking plagued by the emotional memories of filling out an application with lies my teacher told me to tell, walking into an audition room knowing FULL WELL that i’m going to suck, sucking, seeing the looks on the judges faces that all confirm that I sucked, then reading the judges comments afterwards about how much I sucked, and then being forced to go to the award ceremony so I can watch all the winners perform. 

I see a job application and that feeling bubbles up in me like magma. 

See also: the neck-snapping cognitive dissonance of me knowing that i’m a literal fucking genius while simultaneously believing that I have nothing of value to offer to anyone and that there’s nothing I could possibly do that would actually warrant someone giving me enough money to live a life on. 

I spent so long being The Top Player in every single local gig/program/etc. I know I’m the best in the area. I always have been.

I ALSO know that I don’t have to travel that far before I’m nowhere NEAR the top. Cross one county line and I’ve gone from being the Head Bitch In Charge to just being a bitch. 

it’s always been true that I am both The Best and The Worst all at the same time. :(

[the-sayuri-rin]

Dink Donk it's time for daily feels:

"We all nestle under the great tree of wisdom, peering out to perceive the world. From the earth, and from the rain, we perceive its wonders until we become a white bird to perch atop a branch... And finally snap off the most important leaf. Once upon a time, I alone dreamed in this world. In my dreams, everybody would also dream after they fell asleep. Wild and wonderful thoughts would emerge from their minds. Some tumbled to the ground, and others floated to the sky. Connecting all things in the world into one dazzling net. Amongst the plethora of worlds were numerous smaller worlds. All of fate finding within the tapestry their brilliant glow. I gradually understood that these indescribable and constantly changing things are the most profound things in the world. Only they can completely repel the madness. Only dreams can awaken consciousness from the deepest darkness. I'm the one who posed this question, yet also the one who sought a solution. Saving the world with the dreams of the people used to be my answer. And now, you've also found your own answer. And I shall return all the dreams to the people. Goodbye, people of Sumeru. May you be blessed tonight with the sweetest of dreams."

[awesomeforever]

Please let us know if you would like to see your weekly fishing report included in this Montana fishing report compilation by emailing your report to us before the end of the day on Tuesday of each week here along with your business website/email address. NOW HIRING FOR THE 2023 SEASON: The Retail Sales Associate/Apprentice Guide The Bighorn Angler is the premier fly shop, lodge, and guide service on the legendary Bighorn River located in Fort Smith Montana and is seeking a knowledgeable, passionate fly fisher with the desire to provide our patrons with a world class experience. There is an additional opportunity to learn how to guide the river under our experienced, absolute best guide staff. This is a seasonal position, from Mid-April through Mid-October with part time opportunities in the off-season and lodging would be provided as part of employment. Salary will be determined based on level of experience. The Angler is the busiest fly shop/lodge in the area and one of the busiest in Montana. This person must be able to handle a fast pace and multiple tasks simultaneously. Well over half our clientele are repeat customers and longtime friends. This person must be very outgoing, positive, and have a good personality interacting with our many great clients. Attention to detail will be critical in all aspects relating to the fly shop operation, sales, check-in/check-out, reservations, lodging, and overall customer experience. GENERAL RESPONSIBILITIES: • Provide exceptional service to our customers • Execute smooth daily operation of our fly shop and services (guides, rentals, lodging, etc) • Assist customers with purchases; in person, over the phone, and internet sales • Take and process reservations • Coordinate check-ins and check-outs with customers • Maintain a neat/orderly fly shop and resort grounds • Maintain upkeep of rental boats • Learn the river and develop as a fly fishing guide and instructor DESIRED QUALIFICATIONS: • Hardworking, friendly, and outgoing personality • Strong attention to details and can multitask • Strong communication skills • Comfortable with computers, software, and the internet • Working knowledge of fly fishing including technique, equipment, and fly patterns • Retail and/or sales experience preferred • Fly fishing knowledge or industry experience a plus • Experience in the hospitality industry a plus IF YOU’RE INTERESTED IN THIS POSITION, PLEASE CALL US AT 406-666-2233 OR EMAIL – INFO@BIGHORNANGLER.COM Ronald M.: Took the girlfriend out to try to find some burbot but only saw 1 dink swimming around. She caught a 18 1/4″ trout and a 12 1/2″ walleye. I ended with a 12″ walleye and a 20 1/2″ 2lb 12oz spawned out nasty salmon. Hopefully the burbot will start moving in soon. Nolan R.: The burbot are biting right now. Target them in South facing, deep, rocky areas. Glow jigs tipped with a half a sucker minnow. We wanted to design a line for us. For Headhunters. A couple days ago we published the Headhunter Fly Line Review.   As I thought about that blog, I recognized that I left out the Deeper Thoughts on how we felt about fly lines including what we truly wanted the line to behave like. Finishes Strong. Some call this turning over well. That line really turns the fly over. When casting good streamer lines that is a component of design that I’m sure line manufacturers desire. A turnover that does not kick. That does not finish too strong. A line that turns over well was a design component that we did not want to miss. And the reasoning behind this concept was our belief that the only time the caster can actually control the fly line is when you are tight. Sans Slack. The only time. You gotta be tight to place the line, the fly, on the desired target, every time. After you pull a loop into the line on your forward cast, when it is flying through the air from aft to fore, you do not have control. You are not attached for that moment. It is flying, flinging, moving rapidly hopefully towards your target.

This is the point where many anglers give up and hope. They fling it at the rising trout area. Sometimes it lands in the correct spot, but it mostly does not. (See Guessing below) You control the pulling movement forward, towards the target, aiming it at the rising trout, stopping the rod (a movement that many need to improve on, the actual stopping of the rod not parallel to the water, not decelerating) in the direction of the rising trout. The next thing that happens is the line straightens in front of you. This moment, this nano-second, is the line finishing strong. This moment is real, real important. When the line is coming tight, straight, taut, the loop has unrolled, it is straightening out in front of you…once again for the second time during the fore-stroke, you have an opportunity to move the line, to place the fly where you intend. And that is important when Headhunting, when casting at specific targets. The moment you come tight, the line straightens, you can move the line, the fly, wherever you want. An example is the reach mend or cast. That is a secondary movement beyond the cast. It is those movements, moving the line and fly, to a specific spot you intend. In short, ACCURACY. When you are tight on the line you can move it up, down, sideways, and so forth. You can move the line wherever you want to. Accurately. After you come tight on the fore-cast you have over 1 second to make a change before the flies lands on the water. And that time is important for your perfect placement of the fly. You choose where the fly is placed. You, the caster, gets to choose. Consequently a line that finishes strong is damn important for dry fly anglers. And, the wind blows here. So coming tight, finishing strong, and controlling the outcome of the fly line and fly, is damn important for dry fly successes. Known Outcomes are important in dry fly fishing. Since we, and you shouldn’t either unless you like to guess every cast as many do that do not have a high success percentage whilst targeting specific fish, do not condone shooting fly line during a dry fly cast, Known Outcomes are important. And casting a static amount of line, a line that finishes strong, was imperative for us when thinking about, designing, and testing the Headhunter Fly Line.  Simply put, if you cannot control the fly line, dictate where the fly is placed, then we have failed. We were determined to bring a fly line to market that you could control. And it must finish strong, for you to control the outcome of each and every cast. See above. There are lots of fly lines on the market. We chose not to make a fly line for all anglers. There are plenty of them out there.There are very good general use fly line options from many line producers. A line for Headhunters, by Headhunters. We are Headhunters. We are dry fly anglers at heart. We wanted a dry fly specific fly line made for 30′-60′ casts in the wind. You can buy very specific streamer lines with differing densities depending on water depths, sink rates, etc. A nymphing line is imperative for tossing heavily weighted nymph rigs. We wanted a dry fly line for our specific needs. For your specific needs. For Headhunting. This is a fly line that you cast with purpose. For those guys out there not headhunting, lobbing nymph rigs outside the boat, this is not for you. When fishing for rising trout, you must cast with purpose. The goal is to catch the trout. To fool the fish. And lobbing casts, shotgunning, guessing casts at rising fish is not what we intend to do when Headhunting. You don’t look at the deer, then close your eyes and guess your shot out there. Do yah? That is what many anglers do when casting at rising trout. They guess… Many anglers like to guess every cast at rising fish. They pull in different amounts of line and start the cast with a different amount of line off the tip every cast. They shoot line every cast at rising trout. That is guessing the fly out there. Known Outcomes while casting with the Headhunter Fly Line.

This line is for fella’s who exhibit this behavior. This line is designed to lift you up brotha. For you to break through. So many anglers hope that the fly lands near the trout, and hope that the trout eats the fly…a day filled with hope. I like Hope. I hope the sun will shine. I hope I will win the Lotto. I hope the wind won’t blow too hard. I hope the chef does not overcook my steak. I do not integrate hope in my dry fly game. I dictate what happens. I cast with purpose.  We consciously chose to make this fly line for those who dictate outcomes. A line that casts with purpose. For those who choose to catch more dry fly trout. This line is made for you to move to the next level. If you mail it in, guess every cast, shoot line at rising trout, drop your rod tip on the fore-cast, and decelerate…this line is made to break the mold and allow you to improve. Because if you do the above, you will not progress. You will not get better. The Headhunter Fly Line is a line that can help you move forward. To leave those bad habits and unimpressive results behind you. You have to participate with the Headhunter Fly Line. And that was important to us. A line not for beginners. There are other lines out there for that specific skill set. So as I have outlined here, we thought about it. We wanted a line that you could, and would, and should cast with purpose. If it is not user friendly, we have failed. We integrated an easy to understand color scheme. The Lime Green portion means you are in the Performance Zone. The Casting Zone. The fly line casts the best when you are in that zone. Easy. If the Blue Sky Camo is inside the rod tip, there may not be enough line out to load the rod properly. Easy. Lime Green means go ahead and cast. Blue Sky Camo means you have pulled too much line inside the rod tip. Also included in this thought process was a running line that does not tangle as often. A larger diameter running line keeps the tangles to a minimum. Remember this line is made for a specific use. It is made for technical dry fly casts in the normal distance range of 25′-60′. This is not made for short casts. It is not made for extra long booming blind casts with grasshoppers. The Headhunter Dry Fly Line is made for accurate, casts at distance, with common environmental distractions that this fly line overcomes with ease. We were quite conscious of the beliefs above. We wanted to stay true to the cause. To the design. To the dry fly line. To Headhunters. And what we got, from RIO of Idaho Falls, was exactly what we set out to do. The Headhunter Dry Fly Line. Well, it looks like winter is here to stay but that just means the rivers will be less busy! The Gallatin River is fishing well right now, but be careful on and around shelf ice! In the lower stretches of the river around Axtell and Cameron Bridge, target deeper slower runs and buckets as well as definitive seams. If you like to fish up in the canyon and closer to Big Sky, fish the same water but put most of your energy into the deep pockets. For your point flies try stoneflies like Pats Rubber Legs, and Deep Cleaners, or a leech pattern like a Wooly Bugger. For your dropper patterns focus on small mayfly species and midges. Zebra midges, Quilldigons, and Hares Ears in 16-22 are some of our favorites in the winter on the Gallatin. Worms and eggs can also be a very good option. If you find one fish, keep fishing that area, as fish tend to pod up in the winter! On the right day fish can be willing to move for stripped streamers so that can make for a very fun day on the river as well. Try Mini Dungeons and sculpin patterns. Fish that are looking up on overcast days will be looking for baetis, mice, and midges. Adams (14-22), Purple Haze (16-20), Sparkle Dun (16-22), Elk Hair Caddis (14-18), Griffith’s Gnat (16-20), Buzzball (16-18), Extended Body BWO (16-22) Pip Squeak Baby Mouse (6) Woolly Bugger Olive/Black (6-12), Sculpzilla Tan/Black/Olive (4-8), Beldar Brown/Black/Olive (6-8), GD

P/Jig Streamer (10), Zirdle Bug Tan/ Orange/ Olive (6-12), Urchin Bugger (4), Dungeon Black/ White/ Brown/ (2), Mini Dungeon Purple/ Natural/ White (6) Perdigon (14-18), Pat’s Rubber Legs (8-12), Hell Razor Leech (12), Hare’s Ear (16-20), Black Blowtorch (12-18), Juju Baetis (18-20), Zebra Midge Black/ Red/ Purple (16-22), Worms, Eggs, Mops December 10th Snappy’s Fish on Ice special, seminars and in-store specials all day! Details Coming – Details Here This Montana fishing report is valid from November 1 until the first run of daytime high temperatures in the high 30s or 40s. Normally that’s called “most of November,” but it has been bitter cold and snowy all month. Fishing is very poor right now and we do not recommend it. Water temps are in the low to mid-30s everywhere except the Paradise Valley spring creeks, and air temps are in the teens for highs. Significant ice formation is already underway. Beware of spawning brown trout and don’t bother them. It is best to avoid areas of gravel on up to cobble-sized rocks in 1-4 feet of water for the remainder of the fall unless you see rising trout (which will almost entirely be non-spawners). Avoid clean shallow gravel at all costs: don’t fish there and don’t walk there. Our trout are all wild and the browns need to be left to make the next generation in peace. There are PLENTY of other fish in the sea (or trout in the stream), including those sitting in the bouldery or silty pools downstream of spawning areas, where they’ll be eating eggs and bugs disturbed by spawners. The Yellowstone River is rapidly icing up and will fish poor. Near the mouth of the Gardner River, fish a stonefly nymph with a midge pupa dropper. That’s probably your only realistic shot. The lower Madison River is largely in the same boat as the Yellowstone, exacerbated by its shallowness. The Paradise Valley spring creeks are now on winter rates of $40/day. This is probably the best option in the area until at least early February, since the water never drops under about 45 degrees. It will be cooooollllld fishing, though. Fish midge pupae, eggs, and streamers. If it ever warms up, there might be limited BWO and midge emergences. The Missouri River is a long way to drive, but will not ice up for a while yet. Scuds, sowbugs, BWO nymphs, and midge pupae will produce the numbers. Swung streamers may produce some bigger fish. Yellowstone Park’s fishing season is now closed. Moving forward, we expect October 31 at sunset to be the permanent closing date. It used to be sunset on the first Sunday in November. They did get the replacement North Entrance Rd open on October 30, so at least you can drive in to LOOK at the water. Note: Montana Outdoor‘s website is the only commercial external site authorized to use this content. Please let us know if you see it anywhere else (Parks’ Fly Shop’s report is similar, since Walter writes that one too). This Kootenai River Montana fishing report is being brought to you by Orvis Endorsed Linehan Outfitting.  This report will be updated weekly to provide current conditions, weather, hatches, patterns, and flows to our local waters and across the state. Flows from Libby Dam:  4000cfs Water temperature at Libby Dam: 42 degrees Hatches: midge, baetis patterns:  zebra midge, parachute Adams, parachute pmd, Rosenbauer’s olive rabbit foot emerger, purple haze, purple chubby, red chubby, olive sparkle dun,bh prince, soft SJ worm, bh pheasant tail, bh rubber legged stonefly, big streamers in white, pink and olive, circus peanut, black conehead buggers It’s not quite spring up here in Kootenai River country but we have good news.  Flows from Libby Dam have been reduced and will be stable at 4000cfs through the end of March for now.  That means there’s some great early season fishing available right now. Expect more clammy cloudy weather through the weekend and into next week.  March continues to come in like a lion and we’ve yet to see the lamb.  Rain and snow mix will dominate forecast. 

Fortunately daytime temps will ooch into the forties which is at least a small sign of spring around here. At the moment the river is clear and in good shape.  Don’t expect much in the way of dry fly fishing and insect activity until we get some substantially warmer daytime temperatures.  The water is still cold but trout will start to feed a bit in the coming weeks. This is always a good time of year for nymphing.  With low flows you don’t need a heavy rig.  You just need to get the flies down in softer runs and pools where trout are most likely to be holding this time of year.  Don’t spend a ton of time fishing fast riffles. Streamer fishing is also productive this time of year especially since bigger fish will be hungry after laying low for a couple months during the dead of winter.  Keep in mind they will not necessarily want to move too fast or too far to get a meal.  Get your streamers down and fish them slowly and erratically.  Nothing like a wounded minnow to get a big rainbow interested in at least a sniff. In Boston Red Sox news, it’s PLAY BALL!  After several weeks of a lockout the players union owners have finally come to an agreement.  Spring training will start immediately and while opening day was and remains delayed until April 7, the season will still be 162 games.  For now the Sox have managed to keep essentially the same playoff roster they had last season.  Infielders Dalbec, Arroyo, Bogaerts, and Devers are key players.  In the outfield Jackie Bradley Jr. has returned to Boston and Kike Hernandez and Verdugo will anchor the deep green.  Ace Chris Sale will hopefully be healthy and other starters from last year will hopefully pick up where they left off in October.  Go Sox!!! Give a call anytime if you need more Kootenai River details or information on any of our hunting or fishing adventures.  And please check out our e-commerce site for all Linehan Outfitting branded swag and Orvis gear. https://linehan-outfitting.myshopify.com/ We look forward to hearing from you.  406-295-4872 As we move into winter, the fishing on the Yellowstone will be hit or miss. Don’t let that discourage you, if you hit it right you could have a stellar day! Indicator rigs can be effective especially on sunny day, try a bugger followed by your favorite midge pattern. Try stripping streamers on cloudy days and if you’re more into dry fly fishing and see some noses throw baetis and midge cluster dries. Areas of the river with spring creek influence can be a great option right now as there will be warmer water pumping into the colder main river, giving the trout a comfortable place to pod up and look for food. If you plan to fish the Yellowstone, be sure to check FWP’s Restrictions and Closures page for up-to-date information regarding closures. Parawulf Dennis BWO (16-20), Thorax BWO (18-20), Parachute Adams (14-20), Purple Haze (16-20), Film Critic BWO (16-20), Smoke Jumper (16-20), Extended Body BWO (16-20), Griffith’s Gnat (16-20), UV Sparkle Midge (18-20), Griffiths Gnat (16-20), Buzzball (16-18) Woolly Bugger (4-12), Mini Dungeon Black/ Natural/ White (6), Complex Twist Bugger (2), Kreelex Minnow (4), Sparkle Minnow (4-8), Double Gonga, Urchin Bugger (4), El Sculpito (2), Sculpzilla (4-8), Sculpinator (4-6) Pat’s Rubber Legs (6-12), Zirdle Bug (6-12), Woolly Bugger Black/ Olive (4-12), Perdigon (14-18), Pheasant Tail (14-20), Jigster Baetis (14-18), Prince Nymph (10-18), BH Hare’s Ear (12-18), Sisslin’ Hot Spot Squirrel (14-16), Zebra Midge (16-22), San Juan Worm, Matt’s Shagadelic Mop, Hare’s Ear (14-18), Dirty Bird (12-16) Well, we got dumped on again. This has been the snowiest November/early December we have had in a long time, and it’s AWESOME. Bring it on. While we have a long way to go to get out of the region-wide drought we are in, we are in a great spot at this point in the season. Ski resorts are opening up early, our ski rental program is open early, and we are stoked for the coming winter.

What does this mean for fly fishing? Well, it keeps this report pretty simple. It’s cold. And slushy. And windy. Honestly? Stay inside and tie flies. Get your Christmas shopping done at a local business, go have a nice dinner out or get a good local beer and swap fishing stories. If you’re absolutely desperate to get out on the water, hit the spring creeks. The Upper Madison River is getting pretty icy as well these days, but there are still fishable spots. Reynold’s Pass and Three Dollar area are consistently good winter fisheries. Be sure to check how iced in boat ramps are before you put in if you are floating. The Lower Madison is getting some ice and slush as well, but remains a good winter option for close to home. Hiking up Bear Trap Canyon can provide some good opportunities, especially for winter midges. Crayfish patterns with a midge dropper (Zebra Midge, Rainbow Warrior, etc) can be deadly. Find the deep and slow water, and keep adding weight until you find the fish. Remember that their energy drops with the water temps. The Gallatin River in the canyon below Big Sky is always a popular spot for winter fishing. It stays reasonably ice free, unlike the river above Big Sky or down in the valley. With temps going warm to cold to warm again, be super careful about ice jams. Every winter the Gallatin gets a few that can be very dangerous if you aren’t paying attention. Fish the deep and slow water with attractor nymphs and midges. Lightning bugs or Copper Johns with a midge behind them are a good bet. On warmer days look for fish eating midges on top. The Paradise Valley spring creeks are the best winter fishing spot we have locally. With consistent water temp and flow, they provide an ice free option when everything else is locked up. Fishing this time of year can be very technical, bring your A-Game and a fully stocked midge box. These are a pay-to-play fishery, but rod fees are quite a bit less in the winter than their summer season. Unlike the busy peak season, you can usually get day-of reservations. Christmas season is in full swing here in Downtown Livingston. The decorations are up, the lights are on, and it’s a great time to get ahead on your shopping. There are a host of events happening between now and the end of the year all across town. Here at Dan Bailey’s we have our Ladies’ Night and Men’s Night coming up. Ladies’ Night is this Thursday from 3-8pm, with Men’s Night on the 15th from 3-8pm. At both events, the entire store will be 10% off and you can save another 5% off anything that is on your gift registry.(Fly Fishing goods will not be 10% off. Maybe we word it, “Most of the store will be 10% off”? There will be games to save even more and a warm fire with snacks and libations provided out back. It’s always a good time and one of our favorite events of the year! We’ve got a store full of great items for gifts or for yourself. Come check it out, and if you are headed out to fish we’ve got everything you need to catch fish and stay warm and comfortable while you’re doing it. It’s fly tying season for those who don’t want to deal with ice in the guides, and we’ve got a full stock of materials for all your favorite patterns. Tight lines this week! ACTION TRACTION!!! Chillin and Drillin Series#6 By Montana Grant Glacier National Park Announces Plans for 2023 Reservations By Moosetrack Megan Guns stolen: ATF Offers Reward in Butte Burglary By Moosetrack Megan FWP News: Hunting for mountain lions to close in lion management units 102,121 By angelamontana FWP News: FWP extends comment period on draft grizzly bear management plan, draft EIS By angelamontana FWP News: Lottery chances available for trophy bison hunt on the Blackfeet Reservation By angelamontana Public comment sought on Basin Creek – Butte Watershed Project

By Moosetrack Megan Whitebark pine receives Endangered Species Act protection as a Threatened species By Moosetrack Megan Hunter shoots hairless deer By angelamontana FWP News: Hunting for mountain lions to close in lion management units 100,103 By angelamontana FWP News: Hunting for all mountain lions to close in lion management unit 280 By angelamontana Fishing report for Fresno and Nelson Reservoirs by Brian Olson 12.15.22 By angelamontana Brett French reports: Ancient bison hunters By angelamontana DOG TREATS!!! By Montana Grant FISH FRIENDLY!!! By Montana Grant Buck attacks dead buck By angelamontana FWP News: CWD DETECTED FOR FIRST TIME IN HUNTING DISTRICT 304 NEAR GALLATIN GATEWAY By angelamontana 87 year old snowmobiler missing in Flathead By Moosetrack Megan Hunter loses game camera to thief, retrieves it a month later By angelamontana FWP News: Mountain lion hunting closes in several districts  By angelamontana 11th Hebgen Lake NAIFC Ice Fishing Tournament scheduled for January By angelamontana FWP News: WOLF TRAPPING OPENS IN SOME AREAS OF OCCUPIED GRIZZLY BEAR HABITAT By angelamontana Snow Immersion Safety By angelamontana Youngster drops his first buck–reaction is priceless By angelamontana Saturday Morning's from 6-8am) source

[silkythewriter]

General dating headcanons for Angel Dust, Husk, Sir Pentious, and Alastor?

꧁General dating headcanons for Angel Dust, Husk, Sir Pentious, and alastor!!꧂

Summary: dating headcanons for our favorite demon boys!

Small warning!: sorry for any spelling/grammar mistakes and Sorry if any of the characters are OOC!!

Small note!: Hi! I’m exited to be writing again for hazbin hotel I hope you enjoy these!!<33

Fandom!: hazbin hotel!

Daily song suggestions!:

❤︎︎Angel Dust❤︎︎

He absolutely loves physical affection to be honest only thing is don’t do it without warning cause he could get quite startled. But other then that he loves when you hug or cuddle him <33

He never ever lets you get involved with his work though, even if you guys met at work or not he just doesn’t like bringing up work with relaxing time, also Valentino is a powerful man so he doesn’t want you getting involved with his shady business

I feel like he knows a lot of self care routines and he loves doing it with you!! Like face masks and stuff, he also likes showing you how he takes care of his fur/hair and chest fluff he finds it relaxing doing it with you and explaining the steps

He calls you and him the parents of fat nuggets ☠️ but honestly you don’t mind considering how cute they are!! He loves playing with fat nuggets and you, he even once did that thing where you put your pet on the ground and made them choose between you and the other person, fat nuggets went to you some how which angel was completely shocked about but accepted it 😭

This man can get very flirtatious at any given moment even when it isn’t appropriate, like that one time he started flirting with you as you tried talking to a friend on the phone ect. You always get flustered or flirt back, if you do flirt back expect a flirting war too Accor

He loves stealing stuff for you, of course he never out right says it but when you see a ring he gave you and see a name incrusted into it on the inner side you kinda just assumed it 🤷‍♀️

Overall this man is very affectionate towards you and absolutely loves you to death and back, and he can show it in many different ways if you know what I’m sayin 🧑‍🦯

Cherry bomb and you are great friends to be honest and honestly angel loves that, he absolutely loves shopping or blowing up and causing chaos together!!!

Has adorable nicknames or you like sugar, bunny, sweet cheeks, and my lil addiction <333

🥃Husk🥃

People where honestly surprised with your guy’s relationship and how you made him fall in love with you- they always assumed he just hated the thought of dating until you came along

Please be patient with him cause he’s not the best with physical nor emotional affection he’s still getting use to it so please give him the poor guy some time 😭😭

Drinking buds for sure only if you really want to though, but don’t expect to get drunk easily. You’ll have a to wait a bit and dink wayyy more then what’s good for you just to see him tipsy

He doesn’t let you try drinking like him cause he does worry for you even if he doesn’t show you in the best ways.

Your guy’s relationship probably gets really rocky sometimes, he honestly doesn’t mean to do it but he’s just kinda getting use to the idea of someone caring for him so he can maybe make you cry sometimes because of he’s comments so if your soft hearted keep in mind he doesn’t mean it in a rude way!….most of the times….

He’s has a genuine fear of you leaving or you just breaking things off randomly cause he knows his behavior is hard to handle but he can’t really fix that

He does (surprisingly) cut back on drinking, this honestly took him a bit of will power but he did it for you so he doesn’t regret it one bit <3.

On the off chance he gets use to physical affection, he absolutely loves when you pet his fur/wing. Sometimes it leads him to purring iyour lucky but the other staff tease him about it a lot so he’d rather do it in private ☠️

Not one for PDA to be honest he has a rough persona and he has a hard time shifting/Changing that

🐍Sir Pentious🐍

This guy is a piece of work honestly- he’s a big hand full

Whenever you guys are in public he’s a “bad boy” but trust once your behind closed door this man is all over you and can’t handle being without you😭😭🫶

If you complement one of his plans or inventions you bet he’s gonna be stuttering and blushing like he’s having a heat stroke- he feels completely embarrassed afterwards 😭😭

The egg bois love setting you guys up for random dates- sir pentious always said he hated it but secretly loves it cause you laugh and giggle at the silliness of the situation, he find your laugh intoxicating

You have to constantly make sure he isn’t hurting or accidentally killing the sweet eggs ☠️they are at constant thanks to your mercy and treat you as well as they treat sir pentious. They absolutely adore you<3

You have to make sure he’s okay after every battle he has that mostly contains alastor- you have a bone to pick with that deer boy but for now you have to focus on the hurt grumpy sack of snake infront of you

He has cute nicknames for you like angel!!, the ones he uses the most is my butterfly, tiny mice, and darling <3 he mostly uses them in private though cause he doesn’t wanna show any weakness to he’s enemies

Whenever you guys cuddle he loves wrapping he’s tail around you while he snuggles his head into your chest or you snuggle into his, sometimes he accidentally tights his grip a bit to much- but it manageable once you start getting use to it!!

He can be quite the drama queen sometimes- depending on the setting and situation. If you guys are in private you have to help him calm down by hanging out with him or just petting him and comforting him. But if you guys are in a public situation he’ll just make a big scene and just fight someone randomly-

🦌Alastor🦌

This man can be such a gentleman but smart ass at the same time 💀💀

People are very aware of you guys being together, which leads to people scattering or running off at your presents because their terrified of what would happen to them if they do one wrong move around you

He’s a complete gentleman to you, like opening doors for you, pulling out a chair, or kissing the back of your hand type stuff! Honestly it would be completely adorable to people if it wasn’t for his overlord status

He’s pretty okay with PDA! Just doesn’t really like overdoing it, he mostly keeps it to hand on waist and that’s pretty much it 💀he likes dong more interment stuff privately like hugging or cuddling

On rare occasions he might let you stroke his hair or touch his tail but it’s very rare 💀 he doesn’t like being vulnerable most of the time so don’t expect this to happen often sadly :(.

He loves seeing you wear he’s tie for some weird reason, he can’t explain why he does he just finds it adorable and humors it

OMG, he absolutely AODRES making Jambalaya for you, or just cooking and baking in general!!!, though he’s a bit worse at baking then cooking but he still finds it fun! It doesn’t Matter if you do or don’t know how to cook or bake it’s just for fun, he loves seeing you giggling or smiling while your clothes and face are covered with flower and such <3

He’s not overprotective to say just a bit… worried, is the best way to put it, of course he never breaks he’s undying smile but with how many powerful enemies he has he gets worried about all the worst possibilities, that’s why he keeps a close eye on you, also makes you guys wait awhile before being a bit public about your relationship but even then few demons know about it if they pay close attention. Which works in their favor cause they can quickly run away from you just incase the radio demon is lingering near you

Nifty is one who goes with you incase he can’t he needs to make sure your okay, or he just sends his shadow. Like I said he has many powerful enemies so being with him might come with some drawbacks but trust me after awhile it’ll be worth it!! <3

THANK YOU FOR THE REQUEST!!! I absolutely loved writing this😭😭😭😭🫶🫶🫶it was so fun I hope you enjoy it as much as I do!!

[hot-wiings]

The One Where Kenma Has Been Spending To Much Time On His PSP And [Y/N] Needs Cuddles.

Edited: 2-22-2021

You slightly lifted the plant up on Kenma's porch and fished the housekey under the pot out and into your fingers. Normally, someone taking out the spare house key to the house they did not live in would be creepy, this was not the case. Every Friday, you would rush to get your homework done while Kenma was in volleyball practice after school, then you would change out of your school clothes before heading over to his house for well-deserved time spent together.

This was a weekly routine for you and Kenma, and the Kozume's were happy to have you come over and use the spare whenever you needed to come over. You pushed the key in the handle, twisted it open, and entered your boyfriend's home. You left the key on the counter before heading up to Kenma's bedroom where you knew he'd be resting up from practice.

"I'm here for my daily fix of hugs and kisses."

Kenma was sitting in his bed, curled up in a ball with his PSP in his hands, you're not sure he heard you due to his lack of response. You slipped your shoes off by his door and made your way over to his bed. You climbed onto it beside Kenma, slightly startling him but not enough to make him lose his game. He looks up briefly but returns to his game quickly as to not let himself die.

"Hey, what're you doing here?"

"It's Friday. Didn't you hear me? I'm ready for my fix of hugs and kisses."

"I thought it was Thursday. Can I finish my game?"

You slipped your arms around Kenma and put your head in the crook of his neck to peer over his shoulder to try and see what game he was playing. It was OverWatch, you wanted to scowl but resisted the urge to. Those games were always so long, they could range from five to forty minutes.

"I guess, are you close to done?"

Kenma doesn't reply but you watch him aggressively tap away at the buttons on his game. You let go of him and flop down on the pillow next to him. This was going to take forever. Silently, as to not distract him, you pull out your phone and dink around a bit on social media. The clock was slowly ticking, and your patience was growing thin. Every so often you look over Kenma's shoulder to check in on him playing his game. After what felt like the umpteenth time checking, victory was displayed over Kenma's game.

"All done?"

"Can I play another round? I play another one I'll both level up and get a medal."

You should say no. This is our time. The one day a week we set aside time for each other. Kenma's voice sounded so excited, and his smile was so big.

"Fine, but I want double my fix of hugs and kisses."

The waiting began again. This time you spent a majority of your time propped up by pillows watching Kenma play his game. The first five minutes were boring, he was just scavenging around, evading enemies, and looking for a weapon. Ten more minutes go by and soon your watching Kenma shoot down his enemies. Soon those fifteen minutes double and transition into a half-hour. Kenma was quickly playing and taking shelter while he briefly took a second to plug his PSP into a charger before he continued to charge into battle and a dastardly idea popped in your head.

Most days you could pride yourself on being a good girlfriend. You would even go as far as to say the best girlfriend. You supported Kenma, you were patient with him. Today was not one of those days. You had officially been here for an hour and a half waiting on Kenma to finish his game, you'd have to take matters into your own hands, unfortunately for Kenma, his PSP was down to three percent, and the charging outlet was on your side of the bed.

He won't know. How would he know? For all he knows he pulled too hard and knocked the cord out. That line to convince you was thin, and you easily crossed it. It only takes a second and you're reaching above your head and nonchalantly disconnecting the cord from the block. You wait just a few minutes, and soon Kenma's PSP screen goes black.

"No!"

You felt partly bad as Kenma's PSP shut off, but this was the one day a week you both set aside time for each other. It was hard finding time between your studies and Kenma's volleyball to find time for each other. With nationals and the end of the semester coming up, you were both busy as ever. Kenma placed his PSP on the small dresser by his bed and rolled over to face you.

He didn't bother mentioning how he knew the cord on his PSP had been unplugged. He didn't bother mentioning how he had lost his game. All he did was wrap his arms around your frame and pull your body into his. All he did was place a small kiss against your head before placing his chin ontop.

"Want those hugs and kisses now?"

"Oh, is your game over? Yes. I want my hugs and kissies now!"

"Have you ate? I can try to make something for you."

You pulled yourself closer to Kenma's chest, engulfing yourself in his warm shirt, and smiled as you felt him place another kiss on your head.

"I'm alright, just cuddle me. How was practice? Tetsuro texted me saying you were mean, something about calling him a dog? He told me to hide your games."

Kenma goes off launching himself into the story of how Kuroo got mad at him for telling him that he looked like the leader dog from up. You listen to every precious word, enjoying the well deserved attention you and Kenma set aside for each other weekly. Being in each other arms, sharing these special moments together, the sweet little talks about your days, it was precious and irreplaceable to Kenma. No game could ever replace what you had.

[notnotnightwing]

If we were in the omegaverse I hope I'd smell like something cool like moist pine trees or a Pina colada

In addition, if we were in the omegaverse what would I be??..hrmm...

[kimhargreeves]

Collections-Taneleer Tivan x Reader

Summary:You are Peter's sister, always known to fight along side him and flirt with everyone you meet. You catch someone's attention when you arrive at Knowhere and he wants you as a part of his collection.

"We're going to sell this thing."

I stared back at Peter staring down at the orb in his hand. We were heading our way to Know Where to meet with this guy who calls himself the collector and has many rare things in his procession. "Peter think this through. Do you really want to sell this thing to some stranger? We don't even know whats in it."

"We do need the units."

I smacked Peters head and grabbed the item from him, "Sis..for your sake and mine give it back" He warned. I huffed staring back at him and threw the silver ball to him.

"You better know what you are doing." crossing my arms I decided to sit back up on the couch and saw Peter and Gamora also discussing.

We made it over to KnowWhere and made our way into the busy crowd and saw the line to the collectors place was filled so in the mean time we headed to the bar. Rocket,Groot and Drax were playing up ahead with a few other creatures.

Gamora was outside so Peter the flirt he also is decided to follow her an make her company. I ordered myself a couple of drinks when I saw a man up ahead with white hair and dressed rather flamboyant with an alien girl by his side. i wonder who he is. I smirked over to his direction when he looked at me and took a final sip out if my drink,ready to talk to this man when someone stepped in front of me.

"Where you going little sis?" Peter asked with a smirk on his face.

"Pff nothing." I answer him and rolled my eyes and sat back down, "Any guys tried flirting with you? any woman i'm not judging " he ask getting all defensive. I cross my arms and look into his eyes.

"Damn it,Peter. It's not my responsibility to even tell you, I'm an adult now so you should understand. Besides you're a big flirt it's only obvious that i took that charm of yours too." "I don't want you to be like me (Y/N). Don't you get it-"

"Well it's too late for that big brother." I smile and took another glass of alcohol ready to dink it before Peter took a hold of my wrist glaring at me before the door to the bar bursted open and the same pink girl arrived.

"I'm here to take you to my master."

Master? Wonder who might be her master. Peter and I stared at eacb other before he lets go of my wrist and we all started to follow the girl. "Look i'm sorry." Peter apologized first. I scoffed and looked over to his tall figure. "You should be. Peter..I'm not a small kid anymore. You should let me do whatever I want it's not like care what you do to those women you slept with almost daily."

"You're right sorry i still treat you like a kid..I don't sleep with girls daily." Peter starts to ramble on about it. "Of course you do. It's impossible for me to live in the milano with you." We glare at each other again and argue once more.

"It's not like you haven't slept with guys either so don't provoke me."

"Shut up Peter I haven't! so stop whining."

We both stopped and this girl known as Carina introduced us to her master, "I present to you Taneleer Tivan the collector." my mouth fell open when I saw the familiar man and Peter annoyed nudged me so I wouldn't make a fool out of ourselves. The man welcomed us to his place. I couldnt help but stare at these weird looking creatures inside a glass cage,and a small dog also trapped here.

"Enough with the formalities Tivan." Gamora said and I stepped in front with her. "Hi my name's (Y/N),born in terra,currently single if you're asking." I ramble on and Peter grabs my shoulder and pushed me behind him.

"My apologize my sister can be a pain in the ass."

I punched Peter's back and heard him holding onto his breathe at the impact. "These you're friends?" The man asked Gamora.

"..Yes."

We started to talk until Rocket became angry when Taneleer thought Rocket was Groots pet. "Tivan we've been through out the galaxy to retrieve this orb." We looked back at Peter who took the orb out of his bag before dropping it nd handing it to Tivan. We began to follow Tivan and I walked up ahead next to him.

"Hey..I gotta say this is an amazing collection you have around here even if you have a few living things here imprisoned which is also callled-"

"Most of these creatures are enemies.."

I looked back gazing over the poor dog trapped, "Even the dog..?" He didn't respond so I kept talking. "You know you sorta remind me of this singer back on Earth..sorta has the same hair color but looks flamboyant like you..his name if Bowie." He turned to look at me confused of what I was talking.

"Is he well known."

"Of course! He's like a legend back in terra. Wouldnt you like to collect a few more rare items? I could get you some." He stared at me and nodded. He began to explain to us what was inside the orb. one of the most powerful infinity stones was resting inside of it.

"Blah blah we're all fascinated whitey but we'd like to get paid." Rocket already annoyed told him.

"Shhh Rocket control yourself."

"Since when are you this calm?..oh I see you like this weirdo." Rocket began to laugh. "I've had enough with you Rocket you dirty old raccoon why don't you mind your business." I shouted and started to go back outside.

"Stupid smelly raccoon always embarrassing me." I huffed and sat down on the ground and hugged my legs while I stared at these poor kids asking for units or food, "A lady like you shouldn't cry." i jumped up a bit and looked back to see Taneleer looking down at me. Quickly i stood up and began to wipe my tears before he did with his gloved hand.

"Sorry that darn raccoon made me look bad in front of you."

"There's no need to apologize." He said before looking at me with his dark eyes. "I must admit you are quite a strange and unique creature. Unlike your brother who seems like an idiot." He leaned forward and kissed my forehead before I looked up and saw a faint smile on his lips.

"Let's go back inside." Taneleer said and grabbed my hand leading me back in.

[ahgaseforeternity]

Dangerous Woman -Lucas edition

Lucas Wong || Part 3

Enjoy!

It had only been a few days since you saw Lucas again, and if felt like you were going through withdrawals. It was getting frustrating. You hardly knew him and he didn’t know anything about you either. You kept telling yourself that, but everyday it didn’t stop you from driving past his venue. 

The club opened right when you got off work, around six a clock. People were already lining up, ready to dance their lives away. Even on weekdays, Danger seemed to be just as busy. 

It was Thursday when you couldn’t take it anymore.

You had to see him again.

You were wearing jeans and a plain t-shirt. You didn’t look like someone who’d be coming out for a night at an elite club. Everyone else was wearing fancy clothes. You just sighed, taking your hair out from the high ponytail you had it in all day, shaking it out.

Welp, this was as good as it you were going to get.

You parked your car and waited in the short line outside and before you knew it you were stepping inside the devils lair. The music was lighter today, not as heavy against your skin as you drew closer to the railing of the balcony. There was something about this place. The dark lighting, the smell of citrus in the air, along with the seductive music playing. 

The name of the venue really was perfect. Everything about this place reeked of danger, and you couldn’t help but be drawn to it. Because it all resembled Lucas. He was dangerous, but so were you. At least what you felt for him was. You let your eyes travel up the glass staircase that stopped at the darkened room you were drawn to last time. It looked empty. 

You let your feet carry you up the flight of stairs, trying to damper the nerves that were building in your veins. Last time you were here, you had been so curious about the dimly lit room, but it just looked like a smaller dance floor, with a more intimate bar. There wasn’t anyone here it seemed, until a security guard stood at the doorway. 

“Hey, do you have a pass to be here?” 

You bit your lip. You obviously didn’t have a pass, and the guard could see that. He was just about to reach out for you, when a hand stopped him. 

“It’s alright, Stephen. She’s with me.” Lucas’s voice filled your stomach with butterflies. He was wearing all black this time, and he looked devastating. His blazer shimmered slightly in the low light, along with the silver necklace that dangled against his exposed skin. How was it possible he got more beautiful each time you saw him? And here you stood in just jeans and a white shirt. 

Your cheeks reddened.

You watched the guard walk away, still a little timid of you. You tried not to meet Lucas’s eyes that happened to be glued to you. “You seem to have an uncanny ability to appear and then vanish, don’t you?” You met his eyes then, and they looked to be filled with amusement, yet annoyance flashed there if only for a moment. 

“Yeah—I’m sorry about that. You had been busy, and I didn’t want to bother you anymore,” you tried to sound sincere. It was all a lie though, because you did want to bother him. You wanted to bother him so much that he couldn’t help but want to touch you again. 

You couldn’t seem to stay away.

Lucas kept his eyes on you, traveling over your clothes, while he stepped behind the bar. “What would you like to drink? It’s on me.”

 “Oh, no. Thank you, but I probably shouldn’t drink, since I drove here.” You let out a nervous laugh. Gosh, this was ridiculous. Why had you shown up here? He obviously was busy, and having to deal with you all these times, you were probably a nuisance to him. 

“I should probably get going though. Thanks for, uh, helping me out, with the guard.” Goll, you sounded absurd. You wanted to kick yourself. Instead, you stepped towards the door to leave but Lucas’s warm hand gripped your wrist, turning you around to face him. 

“Don’t tell me were going to leave without tasting something sweet,” his eyes were boring into yours again, shimmering with mischief. Gosh, they were so warm and endless. Your stomach tightened at his words. Something sweet?

He watched you swallow the lump in your throat. Lucas motioned to the bar. “I’m sure I can whip something up to your liking.” Your brain wasn’t fully there as Lucas managed to pull you back to the bar, setting you down on one of the high leather chairs. 

You bit your inner cheek. Lucas looked absolutely beautiful standing behind the bar, combining different liquids to make a special drink just for you. The thought alone made you shiver with delight. 

“This must be what you wear on a daily bases,” Lucas nodded to your clothes. You wanted to fold into yourself with shame. He looked like a full blown dream boy, while you—well, you looked a mess. 

“Ah, it’s just my work clothes,” you had to say. There wasn’t any good lying to him, besides, you hated lying. You were never really good at it anyway. 

Lucas came to stand before you, with a martini glass in his long fingers. Gosh they looked amazing, those hands. They looked like they were made to hold things, and by things you obviously meant a glass or bottle of wine. Obviously. He lifted his lips into one of his dazzling smiles and you all but forgot about the drink that he placed in front of you. 

“I rather like them actually. You look far better in jeans than I do.” You strongly doubted that. Lucas looked good in everything. “Oh, uhm, thank you,” you hurried to lift the drink to you lips before your mouth could say anything else. 

Your tongue exploded with a delicious taste of something dark and fruity. It was the best drink you had ever tasted before. “Mmm, what is this?” You asked in utter pleasure. Lucas smiled at your approval. “It’s mostly blackberries, but there’s a bit of champagne in there as well.” You’ve only had champagne a few times, but whatever kind Lucas put in this wonderful concoction was not like any you had before. 

You watched as Lucas poured himself some gin on ice, bringing the glass to dink yours. You both stared at each other while the other took sips of their drink. You wanted to ask him something, anything, but you didn’t know what. Lucas seemed like the guy who lived a luxurious life. One you obviously did not mirror. 

“What do you do for work?” Lucas asked, breaking the silence. Ugh. You didn’t want to answer. He would think you entirely lame and boring if he knew where you worked, but again, you didn’t want to lie to him. 

“I work at uh—a bookstore actually.” It was where you have always wanted to work. Being surrounding by books had always been your dream growing up, and to hopefully own your own library one day. It was just a dream though, one you didn’t see happening anytime in the near future. 

“Oh, so you’re a reader? Who do you like?”

Was he asking authors? He must be. You tried thinking about who were some of your favorites, but Lucas’s brilliant smile was making it hard to do anything. 

“Could you stop doing that?” It faltered, if only for a moment. “Doing what?” You sighed heavily. “That. Your smiling.” Lucas slowly raised one of his brows in utter delight. “My smiling? What’s wrong with my smile?” Nothing. Which was entirely the problem. Lucas had no clue what power he wielded with that stunning mouth of his, in more ways than one. You decided to just completely ignore his question and answer his first one. 

“I have many favorite authors, Jane Austen being one.” People tend to judge you whenever you mentioned you liked Jane Austen, as if liking her books made you illiterate. It, of course, didn’t. Most people who said that to you hardly read at all. How were they to know what authors were good or not?

“Oh, classics. You know, I’ve read a few of her books as well.” 

Lucas did not just say what you think he said.

 “You’ve read Jane Austen?”

You couldn’t believe it honestly. This gorgeous man in front of you had also read your favorite author of all time? There was no way. Could he get any better? You tried not to think too much on that, keeping your eyes from traveling to his very full, very luscious lips.

Goll, they were lovely though. 

 Lucas simply nodded. “Of course. Now, did I like them?” He shrugged his broad shoulders.

Your mind completely halted at his words. Wait, what? “You didn’t like her?” Well, it looked like your perfect dream guy wasn’t as perfect as you thought. 

“It wasn’t the author I disliked, it was some of her characters. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been compared to that Mr. Darcy guy.” 

You could see it, if only in the fact that Lucas was wealthy and dangerously handsome.

“Oh, so you’re prideful?” Somehow you found yourself leaning closer to where Lucas still stood on the other side of the bar. His eyes hadn’t been on your face, but they were now. His eyes went from lit annoyance to amusement within seconds. He placed his elbows on the counter, bringing himself closer to you. Goll, his skin was so smooth and clear. How was it possibly for someone to be so utterly perfect? It was starting to bother you. 

Sort of. 

“When it comes to some things, yes.” He admitted, letting his eyes travel over your face. You were hardly wearing any makeup at all. He was seeing you in full glory. You were ready for him to recoil in disgust, but he never did. Instead, his eyes grew dark. “Like my business or my family,” So he was a family guy. He just got major points on your scoreboard. 

Not like you were keeping score or anything. 

“And my taste in women.” His lips lifted into a sly smirk that all but melted your insides. Mother of things holy, this man was going to be the death of you. You didn’t even know how to respond. All you could do was stare at him and his beautiful face.

 “Do you want another drink?” His question stunned you from your hypnotize. 

“Oh—uhm, no. I probably shouldn’t since I drove here.” Lucas furrowed his gorgeous brows. Stop trying to seduce me, you though. Because it was definitely working. He didn’t even know how much power he had over people by just being him. It was quite frustrating. “You’re right. I can have one of my drivers take you home.” 

His drivers? You almost laughed, but stopped yourself. “You have drivers?” Lucas just shrugged his shoulders again.

Who was this guy?

 “It’s no big deal.”

You actually laughed out loud this time. “And you wondered why people would compare you to Mr. Darcy,” Lucas’s warm eyes honed in on you in a consuming sort of way. Well, in all seriousness that’s how they always looked.

Lucas was just consuming in general. 

“Why are you here, Y/N? If you’re not here with your friends, then why are you here?” Your heart stopped beating. You couldn’t tell him why. He would think your some creep who just wanted to make out with him. 

But didn’t you? Gosh, you didn’t know what to say. It all sounded crazy. 

You could try to lie, but you knew it would just fail miserably. But maybe you could try. “I wanted a drink,” the last word came out a little too high and Lucas noticed. He started walking around the counter. He was making his way to you, and you found yourself itching to flee towards the exit, but something inside you kept you tithered to the seat you were in. 

“You could’ve gotten a drink downstairs. Why did you come up here then?” 

You could feel a knot forming in your stomach as Lucas drew closer to you. He looked so devilishly wicked in his black suit and glittering jewelry. You were forgetting how to breathe as he came even closer, his height overpowering you. 

“Less people,” You squeaked. Lucas had your back pressed against the bar, while he placed his hands on either side of you. It was like a replay of the night before, where you were caged in by his long arms. You could almost feel your heart beating out of your chest. It was so loud, you wouldn’t be surprised if Lucas could hear it too.

He lowered himself so his eyes were level with yours, even though they weren’t looking into them. They were staring at your lips. 

Oh gosh.

“You came up here to look for me,” Lucas’s voice was deep and husky as he glanced from your lips to your eyes. His own were swirling with a blatant hunger. “Didn’t you?” 

You swallowed again, letting your tongue slip through your mouth to wet your dry lips. Lucas watched in complete wonder. “What do you want me to say, Lucas?” Your voice was filled with yearning, and he could hear it too. “The truth, Y/N, from your sweet lips.” 

You gave a breathy gasp. “Fine. I came to see you okay. I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you. Ever since that first night, my mind hasn’t stopped. Is that better?” 

Lucas’s face broke into a glistening smile. “Much better,” His mouth instantly collided with yours. You hadn’t come for this. You had come here to just be with him. To just see him again, but now that his lips were on yours, you couldn’t think of anything else.

Only that you wanted more. 

He parted your lips, seeking your tongue, which you gave willingly. Once they touched, you felt the moan escape the back of your throat without your permission. You felt Lucas’s lips smile against yours.

Gosh, it felt amazing. 

He let a growl of his own escape and it was a sound that shattered everything you thought you knew about kissing. You had never heard such a lovely sound before in your life, and you wanted to hear it again. It broke the leash you had been keeping on your hands. You had wanted to touch him even before he kissed you, but he wasn’t yours to touch, but now—to hell with that.

You let your arms snake around his broad shoulders, just as Lucas lifted you closer. He was holding you against him and it was the sexiest thing that has ever happened to you. You could feel how fast his heart was bounding, along with your own. He wanted you just as much as you wanted him. He set you on the counter of the bar, while your fingers twined in his silky hair. 

Gosh, it was perfect.

He wrapped your legs around his body, making your lower belly warm. His fingers trailed over your clothed thighs, stopping at your hips. You could feel his thumbs just gently caress the exposed skin there. The light touch made your body want to burst into flames. His tongue danced with yours, the top of his teeth gently grazing your bottom lip, and then tugged. 

Another slow moan tumbled from your throat. You let your hands trail down his toned chest and back again, feeling his warm skin beneath his dark clothes. You wanted to take them off. You wanted to see what he looked like.

There must’ve been something in the way you were touching him, because Lucas somehow released your mouth. You could feel how swollen it was, but you didn’t care. All you wanted was for his mouth to be on yours again. You went to pull him close, but Lucas stopped you before you could. 

You were both breathing heavily. “Lucas, what’s wrong?”

 “Nothing. Absolutely nothing. Other than the fact that I’m at work.”

Oh, right. Lucas untwined your legs from around his slender torso. You could feel the adrenaline you had been feeling start to fade. You felt almost empty.

“I need to go check on somethings downstairs.” He started to say. All you could do was nod your head. 

For some reason you had this strong urge to cry. You hated crying. There was no way you were going to, especially in front of Lucas. You tried to breathe it away and it helped, barely.

You jumped down from the bar, straightening your shirt that looked a little wrinkled. You tried to tamper your hair as well, not wanting to look completely conspicuous. 

“Yeah. I should probably leave anyways.” You gripped your purse that you draped over the chair, not wanting to met Lucas’s eyes as you started making your way towards the door. 

Your fingers were on the handle when Lucas touched your shoulder. You glanced around to see he looked just as wistful as you. “Come back tomorrow. I don’t have to work, and it can just be you and me.” Your heart perked up immediately. Lucas was asking you out and it thrilled you. 

“Okay.” It was all you could say through your smile. Lucas was giving you one as well. It obviously outshined your own. You felt as if your smile was something awkward and lopsided, unlike his that was heartbreakingly warm and lovely.

“Does 7 work?” You nodded your head, twiddling your fingers on your purse. “Great, I’ll see you then.” Before you could do anything, Lucas leaned in and gave you a light kiss on the cheek. 

You don’t know how, but you managed to open the door and glide yourself down the stairs. You were still stunned silly when you climbed into the back of a black car Lucas had hauled for you. You thought about his brilliant smile, his dangerous touch and lips all the way back to your apartment.

For once, you couldn’t wait for tomorrow. 

[elderkale]

and i do love the drama

Written for Week 8 of @dwmasters Fiftieth Masterversary Mini Event!

Theme: a new gadget Dialogue prompt: “Ah, how time flies. It seems like just yesterday…”

AO3

Being grabbed and dragged into alleys was hardly what normal people would consider a part of daily routine, and being held at weaponpoint even less so. And even less so on G-Qix IX, a planet unknown throughout the five systems for its lack of hidden treasures and civil unrest, and abundance of snore-inducing boredom. The pies were nice, though.

The Doctor was not normal people. Quite the opposite, in fact.

What had he been talking about?

Ah, of course. Weaponpoint.

If it hadn’t been a pattern three bodies ago, it certainly was now. Normally, his captors would be so uninspired to use guns, or knives, on the odd day. Maybe even some improvisation, or even, dare he say it, originality, if the Doctor was lucky.

Today, he was lucky.

The villain of the day was not a tall man, maybe an inch or two shorter than the Doctor himself, and the grip he had on his arm was strong enough to bruise. It might have been threatening, had the Doctor not grown used to such incidents centuries ago (He did not, no matter what Peri used to say, go ‘looking for danger.’ Quite the contrary, in fact— danger seemed to be looking for him ).

He was rather fetching, the Doctor supposed, in the rogueish, slightly unhinged sort of way found in handsome clowns or well-off court jesters, dark, windswept (or perhaps it was just messy) hair brushed carelessly over his forehead. The effect was, however, slightly dampened by the thing he was pointing at his face.

“Pardon?” the Doctor asked.

The man scoffed. The Doctor focused on not staring at his lips. “I said,” the man repeated, “Doctor.”

“Ah,” said the Doctor. “Yes, that’s me.” He tried to get a good look at the thing. It was vaguely box-shaped. as if crafted by someone who had only been given the loose description of what a box was, and wrapped in more wires than any not-box needed. “Looking, were you? Well, I’m afraid I can’t help you. It’s my vacation day, you see, and, for once, I intend to keep it that way.”

The man snorted. “Please,” he said. “You’ve never wanted a real vacation in your life.”

“Really.” The Doctor crossed his arms. The man scowled and waved the thing a bit. “And just how would you know that?”

“Rassilon, you’re gullible when you’re young.”

“I beg your pardon!” the Doctor exclaimed. “I am hardly young, young man. And how do you even know of Rassilon?” He narrowed his eyes suspiciously and leaned forwards until the thing the other man was holding nearly brushed his nose. “Who are you, anyway?”

The man sneered. “Take a guess.”

The Doctor squinted harder. The Valeyard? Impossible. Frobisher playing a trick, perhaps? But no, this wasn’t his style. He squinted even harder. until his eyes were nearly slits. The man rolled his eyes.

No. . . unless. . ?

The Doctor dragged in a long, hard sniff. “Oh,” he said, nose wrinkling with disdain. “It’s you.”

The Master—and it was the Master—bared his teeth in a cruel, capricious grin. “In the flesh.

“Stole another body, have you?” The Doctor looked down his nose at the checkered purple waistcoat. “Well,” he sniffed, “it’s better than being a crispy critter, I suppose.”

The Master scowled and raised the thing, pressing it to the Doctor’s forehead. “The only ‘crispy critter’ that’ll be here when I’m done is you,” he growled. “Just watch, Doctor, watch as—”

The Doctor leaned back and pulled at the point with his finger. It sprung back with a cheerful twang. “Of course,” he drawled. “What’s this, then? Revamped your shrinky dink?” He leaned back a bit more, eyes crossing as he looked down at the device. “Shame. At least the old one looked somewhat threatening.”

The Master gnashed his teeth. “TCE!”

The Doctor rolled his eyes, but made no comment about the ridiculous name. They had a script to follow, after all. “Well, go on,” he said. “Lay it on me. The threats, the hostages, the impending universal doom? Throw in a ticking clock while you’re at it, why don’t you? It’s been a slow day. And I do love the—”

The Master brandished the thing again. “Do we honestly need words, Doctor?” he asked, smiling a smile as sweet as poisoned honey and twice as sticky. “Really, I thought—”

“Let me guess,” said the Doctor. “You’ve upgraded to a gravitational compressor? It’ll turn me inside-out? You press that button and the ground beneath me crumbles and I fall screaming into the heart of a dying sun?”

“I—wha—”

“Always one for temporal engineering, weren’t you?” the Doctor continued, steamrolling over the Master’s attempts to break in. “But still, always more focused on the end result than the details. I remember those rants. Ah, how time flies.” He sighed contentedly. The Master hwrngfed. “It seems like just yesterday—”

The Master made a furious, strangled noise and pressed the spring to the Doctor’s forehead. “Do you ever stop talking?”

“Well, I do believe I’ll leave that up to you to tell me,” said the Doctor. “You are ahead of me, aren’t you?” he asked, running an eye down the Master’s figure. Appreciatively, one might say. Hopefully, even.

The Master seemed to have to physically bite back a cutting insult. Or perhaps it had been a speech, long and dramatic, and equally admirable and yawn-inspiring. Who knew? The Doctor certainly didn’t. “You have no idea,” he breathed. There was something different about him, something else, something indescribably, undeniably, intangibly off about him that the Doctor had never seen in any of his other Masters. “You haven’t got a clue,” he spat. There was a light in his eyes, fervent and almost feverish, and when his lip curled, it almost looked like his face was about to peel right off. “You swan around—”

“Of course,” said the Doctor. “But, my dear fellow, don’t you think it’s possible that you might have miswired your—”

The Master snarled and pressed the button. There was a loud bang and he vanished, leaving nothing in his wake but a puff of dust and a fading scream.

The Doctor craned his neck, squinting to watch the rapidly shrinking dot in the sky. Eventually, the pinprick vanished. “Well,” sighed the Doctor, straightening his lapels. “I suppose I’ll have to save him. Again.”

He huffed, the grinned. It seems like just yesterday.

[taestfully]

Falling for mafia!BTS | Hyung line

Request: Headcanon of dating mafia boss bts?? Like maybe how you’d meet them or something??? Thank you!!

A/N: Had to split this up because ya girl got a little carried away 😂 Please enjoy!!

(ps - this is written with a female reader and it also contains hints of smut as well as mentions of guns and violence!)

Seokjin

• the only thing more lethal than mafia boss Kim Seokjin is his incredibly good looks

• hot damn

• his looks are what attracts you to him initially when you first meet him

• what also attracts you to him is his charming personality

• you actually meet him through work

• you took on an internship at the business he is CEO of

• and you freak out because having a hot af boss is something that really only happens in movies

• Jin takes an interest in you right from the get go

• he isn't shy about flirting with you

• he’ll ask you to do things for him just to have you near him often

• which you don't mind

• literally every person in the office, male or female, is in love with Jin and would do anything to be close to him

• you get a vibe that he’s into you pretty early on

• but you don't think too much of it because you assume that you’re just a little toy to occupy his time

• something pretty for him to look at

• and as hot as he is you kinda don't want to be just a play thing

• besides he probably has like 764674865 other women throwing themselves at him

• but Jin asks you on a proper date

• he invites you into his office for a ‘private meeting’

• your heart is doing flips inside your chest

• Jin is sitting in his chair, suit jacket folded neatly over the back of it

• he’s casual about the whole thing

• he’s confident you won’t refuse him

• god I mean have you seen him??? he has no reason to be shy

• he takes you to a five star restaurant 

• like this place has a dress code okay

•you feel sort of out of place amongst the sea of amazingly dressed rich people

• but Jin is kind to you through the whole thing

• “thank you for coming with me, (y/n). I hope you enjoy yourself tonight.”

• and he’s a complete gentleman

• opening doors for you, offering you his coat, telling you that you look lovely

• he’s a dream and you’re won over after the first date

• so Jin does not hide the fact that you’re his

• it’s his business and he doesn't care if other people think it’s inappropriate to date a subordinate

• you’re the envy of everyone in the office 

• the other women give you the stink eye on the daily

• you’re in his office quite frequently

• ….for business reasons of course

• *cough* *cough*

• ;))

• so the whole mafia thing lol I’m sorry for rambling

• you find out when you overhear Jin talking to someone over the phone

• he’s pretty angry and he’s letting curse words fly that would’ve made his mother blush

• he’s never this out of sorts

• Jin never uses strong language around you so hearing him talk like that has you worried

• he says something about a shipment and you figure it’s about work until you hear him tell whoever is on the other end of the phone to kill whoever intercepted the shipment

• and by the sound of his voice he’s not saying that just out of anger

• he means it

• when he notices your presence outside his office he freezes

• he runs after you when you try to get away

• you fight him off when he grabs you but he’s way stronger than you

• takes you back to his office to explain

• the whole mafia thing seems so surreal to you

• Jin uses the business as a front

• a platform

• it’s his family business and he’s just recently taken over as CEO and boss of the family’s mafia gang

• he promises not to hurt you

• ever

• tears are in his eyes when you reject him

• but of course you do

• you don't want to be with a criminal

• “I can’t be with a murderer!”

• it breaks his heart to hear you say that

• he tells you he loves you then

• and it hurts you because you’ve grown to love him too but you just don't know what to do

• Jin asks for a chance

• just one

• you accept against your better judgement

• dating a mafia boss is an experience you never thought you’d go through

• Jin keeps a close eye on you all the time

• he says that you being with him makes you a target

• he invites you to live with him in his home

• it’s a mansion

• and you’re blown away by the grandeur of it 

• you’re pampered beyond compare

• you live like a queen

• oh he calls you his princess all the time

• well because you are

• he treats you so well

• the aggressive side of him you saw that one night is never shown around you

• Jin is so sweet to you that you forget he’s the boss of one of the most feared mafias in the country

• “I love you, my princess.”

•Jin likes to whisper lovingly in your ear while in bed as he holds you

• and you feel safe with him

• you love him and nothing else really matters

Yoongi

• you meet Yoongi at the bar you work at

• it’s a rinky dink place so you wonder why this sharply dressed man is here

• he’s with a few other men who are also dressed well

• they stick out amongst the crowd of people

• Yoongi is pretty quiet and you feel slightly intimidated by him

• the group of men with him should’ve intimidated you

• but there’s something so different about him

• you know right away he is the leader of the posse of men

• he doesn't give you a second glance when he orders a drink

• you’re so busy looking at him that you don't register where the counter actually is

• so you drop the glass when you go to put it down in front of him

• whiskey gets on his suit

• and you don't know why but you’re fearing for your life

• well you do know why and it’s because the men with him start glaring your way

• they probably have means to kill you but Yoongi waves a hand at them disinterestedly

• he’s so unbothered but you’re freaking out

• “I’m so sorry! oh my god, that looks like a really expensive suit, too! I-I can help get it dry cleaned or something!”

• you actually can’t because you’re broke af

• he seems to already know it too

• “don’t worry about it. it’s just a suit. I have more than just this one. besides, the alcohol should wash out.”

• he looks so bored

• but he finally looks up at you

• you’re shocked to see that underneath the rough demeanor, his eyes are very soft

• they look like they are meant to be filled with joy rather than the current expression of cool indifference

• you don’t see him for a while after that

• but he comes back and you remember what he ordered last time

• you give him his drink without spilling it

• he smirks

• “I see you’ve gotten better at bartending.”

• this kind of rubs you the wrong way and you’re telling him off before you realize what you’re doing

• “I’m a good bartender, actually. I was just distracted by you and your lovely group of friends that looked like they wanted to shoot me where I stood!”

• Yoongi laughs at this

• “ah, you’re a lively one. I usually don’t have people stand up to me like this.”

• “well there’s a first for everything.”

• “I’m Yoongi.”

• “(y/n).”

• Yoongi frequents the bar a lot after that

• you get used to his friends

• and you can’t help but form a crush on him

• you want to think he likes you too because he comes so often and only accepts the drinks you make

• he won’t drink it if another bartender makes it

• he takes you home one night after your shift

• he waits up on you in the alley outside

• his car is foreign 

• he kisses you before you get out of the car to go inside your home

• and really you shouldn’t but it feels so right

• things escalate and soon the two of you are in your bed, discarding clothes left and right

• but after that night Yoongi disappears and you’re left very confused

• when he does show up again he doesn’t acknowledge you

• instead he occupies himself with a group of men that look as equally as dangerous as his

• things happen so fast you can’t catch up

• all you know is that in the next moment Yoongi is pulling out a gun

• he shoots one of the men and all chaos breaks loose inside the bar

• Yoongi finds you and grabs you, pulling you outside

• “where are we going? Yoongi, what’s going on?!”

• he takes you to what you assume is his house

• you don’t have time to acknowledge the impressiveness of it because he’s taking you straight inside

• “listen to me. you need to stay here for a while. you’ll be safe here.”

• you’re so confused

• “Yoongi who were those men? why did you....why did you shoot that guy?”

• “let’s just say he messed with the wrong group of people.”

• fuck 

• Yoongi is in the mafia

• you don’t really have a moment to think about it because he’s taking you in his arms

• “fuck I’m so sorry. I thought being away from you would protect you.”

• so he ignored you to protect you?

• after that things are different

• you quit bartending and stay with Yoongi

• you try to forget the fact that he’s in the mafia

• he’s your boyfriend and that’s all you focus on

• he’s really sweet to you

• he gets caught up in his work a lot but he tries to be with you as much as possible

• and eventually his friends warm up to you and stop sending you death glares all the time

Hoseok

• Jung Hoseok is very tricky

• he seems very nice

• but under that smile is danger

• better steer clear if you know what’s good for you

• he owns a nightclub as a front for his mafia business

• it’s very popular and a lot of people including celebrities frequent it often

• you happen to visit in hopes of letting loose from a stressful week with your friends

• and it just so happens that Hoseok is there too to make sure things are running smoothly

• you bump into him on accident after having too much to drink

• you’re instantly attracted the moment you set your eyes on him

• he has half a mind to tell you off but he thinks you’re pretty so he lets the whole thing slide

• he turns to walk away

• you blurt out that you think he’s hot

• he laughs you off

• he’s used to women fawning over him

• you ask him to dance with you

• if you knew who you were talking to you might not have asked the way you did

• but you’re so drunk it’s insane

• “not tonight, sweetheart.”

• even after sobering up you remember your encounter with him

• you keep returning to the club in hopes of seeing him again

• you meet him again when he saves you from some prick trying to make unwanted advances on you

• “thanks for saving me.”

• “don’t mention it. what’s your name, sweetheart?”

•  "(y/n).”

• “well, (y/n), maybe I should take you up on that dance.”

• Hoseok dances with you and you’re the first person he’s ever done so with in a long time

• he usually never indulges in the people he comes across in the club

• but you’re beautiful and there’s something about you he wants more of

• so he invites you to the club’s VIP section

• very limited amount of people are allowed in

• he tells the bouncers that you have full access to everything the club offers

• you start to fall for him pretty early on

• his smile is bright and addicting

• and he treats you like royalty

• everything starts out slow and then everything goes so fast you can’t keep up

• one minute you’re just a favored guest at his nightclub

• the next you’re in his office, sitting on his desk as he’s kissing you like you’ve never been kissed before

• you’re relationship is unconventional

• but you’re happy

• eventually though you get this feeling that he’s hiding something from you

• something big

• you don’t realize what it is until you’re walking into his office, seeing him with a gun in hand that’s aimed at some man you’ve never seen before

• there’s men standing behind him, glaring up at you because of your intrusion

• all hell breaks loose

• you’re grabbed by one of his men

• the man Hoseok is pointing the gun at starts to make a run for it before being grabbed by the collar by Hoseok

• he looks at you with a mix of anger and worry in his eyes

• “Yoongi, get her out of here!” he barks at the man who’s holding you

• you’re made to sit in the VIP section

• you freak when you hear the sound of a gunshot

• you have the urge to run but Hoseok is there before you can get away

• “sweetheart, let me explain -”

• “no way! this is madness!”

• he begins to panic because holy shit he’s never cared so much for someone

• he doesn’t want to lose you

• he tells you everything

• he tells you that he’s in the mafia

• that he’s the leader

• he promises that he’ll never allow anyone to harm you

• he vows to give you a happy life

• he begs you to love him despite everything

•you want to love him, you really do

• and everything in you is telling you to run

• but you can’t imagine life without Hoseok

• you don’t know if you could make it without seeing that bright smile of his

• “please don’t make me regret giving you this chance.”

• but really though despite him being in the mafia, dating Hoseok is an absolute dream

• he takes you on so many trips

• he treats you like a queen

• you’re the love of his life 

• and anything to do with his mafia business is not even remotely brought up when you’re around

Namjoon

• Namjoon is a young CEO of a successful company

• he’s young, rich, extremely handsome, and single

• everybody wants to be him

• everybody wants him

• he visits the local library a lot

• it’s odd because he’s so rich and can go anywhere he wants yet he keeps coming to this run down library

• it’s where you meet him

• well you don’t meet him right off the bat

• you do just like the other girls and sit quietly with a book in your hand while sneaking quick peeks over at him

• all the girls love him

• the librarian is practically in love with him

• he’s so polite and respectful and loves to chat about books

• you can see the stars in her eyes when he’s talking to her

• she hits on him occasionally

• she’ll tell him how her husband has passed away and she’s lonely

• she says he should come over for tea and talk more about books

• Namjoon doesn’t ever miss a beat though

• he declines her politely every time and he’s so nice about it that she’s never upset

• he reads a lot of books

• he’s there for hours with his nose in a book

• he always stays in the non-fiction section

• you’ve come to notice he likes to read philosophy and world history books

• you don’t ever start a conversation with him

• he seems nice enough but you’re always so nervous you just can’t find the courage to just do it

• so you just stay to yourself mostly and fantasize about him whenever you lose interest in a book you’re reading

• the first time you talk to him is when you venture into the non-fiction section

• you can’t reach a certain book but before you know it it’s being picked up by someone else

• “here you go.”

• you have a mini panic attack because Kim Namjoon is currently looking you eye to eye

• it’s a moment you’ve only dreamed of

• “oh....thank you.”

• he smiles and asdfghjkl his dimples

• “I see you around here a lot. what’s your name?”

• “it’s (y/n).”

• he offers you the book and you take it nervously

• “I’m Namjoon.”

• you want to point out that you already know his name but save yourself from the awkwardness

• it’s not like you haven’t been silently watching him for months now like a creeper lol

• but he doesn’t need to know that

• “oh...it’s nice to meet you.”

• you’re mentally kicking yourself because you’re so awkward

• he smiles and motions to the book

• “that’s a good book. you’ll enjoy reading it. I’ve read a few times myself.”

• see the thing is is you have no clue what it’s actually about at all

• but you agree with him and smile back

• you start to turn around to find a table to sit at when Namjoon calls your name

• the way he says it is just so asdfghjkl

• “mind if I join you while you read?”

• you freeze and fifty millions things are going in your head

• a nod of your head is your lame reply

• so the two of you actually fall into a routine of meeting at the library to read together whenever you can

• you get to know Namjoon more and more each day

• and just when you think you’re crush can’t get any bigger

• it does

• and before you know it your crush turns into all out feelings

• you don’t think Namjoon could possibly feel the same way until one night you’re stuck at the library late

• and the two of you are putting up your books

• you look up at him as he puts the last one away and he looks down at you

• and then he’s leaning down to place a soft kiss on your lips

• “kissing in a library? very scandalous. I bet the librarian would freak.”

• Namjoon smirks

• “believe it or not, scandalous is sort of my thing. besides, what she doesn’t know won’t hurt her.”

• there’s this devilish look in his eyes you’ve never seen

• and then soon enough you go from sneaking kisses behind books to Namjoon taking you against the shelves

• you find out he’s in the mafia when you’re attacked while leaving the library

• the attacker says something about payback for what Namjoon and his family did to his

• he said Namjoon is going to pay for killing his brother

• and in a blink of an eye you’re staring into the barrel of a gun

• the man means to shoot you but Namjoon is faster

• the man is shot dead and you’re so shocked you can’t even move

• Namjoon takes you to his car to take you somewhere safe

• but you wonder if being with him is even safe at all

• “there’s some things about me that I’ve been hiding from you, (y/n). dangerous things.”

• he explains everything — that he’s the leader of Bangtan, an extremely powerful and feared mafia group

• he tells you that being with him puts you at risk, makes you a target

• “I love you, okay? I won’t let any harm come to you, baby. but if you don’t want this, if you don’t want this life, I understand.”

• at first you don’t want it

• you’re scared, terrified

• but then you see him again weeks later at the library and you realize you miss him

• and you throw caution to the wind and decide to be with him

• Namjoon is the best man you’ve ever been with

• he adores you and tells you every day that you’re amazing and that he loves you

• he still takes you to the library

• you feel safe and secure with him despite who he is because he never fails to prove to you that he’ll do anything to protect you

[atc74]

Thinking of You

Square(s) Filled: Artist Au for @spnfluffbingo2019 (I am taking some creative liberty here as both characters are written as songwriters, therefore...artist)

Warnings: Breakup, mentions of Jensen being a playboy, angst, fluff

Summary: Y/N feels the need to make it on her own without Jensen’s name to help her career, but he’s still always there, with her. 

Pairing: Jensen x Reader, featuring Christian Kane

Word Count: 1570 (with lyrics)

Written for: @spnfluffbingo2019

Beta’d by: @amanda-teaches, I love you girl!

A/N: I’ve been listening to a lot of Christian Kane lately. Like A LOT, so here is another fic inspired by his song, Thinking of You, which he performed on the show Leverage. I use a local LA station and radio personality as a setting for a portion of the story. 

** As a reminder, this is a work of fiction and should be regarded as such. No harm is intended toward the actor(s) or their families.

Like Jensen’s scent? Buy it here from @scentsfromthebunker!

Jensen stared at the headline of the daily paper over his morning coffee: “Heartbreaker Jensen Ackles leaves another girl in the dust as his music career picks up speed.” It’s been on his mind for days, but he finally made the call.

“Chris, man I need your help,” Jensen pleaded with his longtime friend.

“The infamous Jensen Ackles needs my help?” Christian Kane marveled.

“Infamous, really?” Jensen scoffed.

“Would you prefer notorious, nefarious, scandalous?” Christian was laughing hard on the other end of the phone. It was no secret in their younger days, they all had plenty of women throwing themselves at the pair, but Jensen never found the right fit. The world just assumed he was a playboy, and he did nothing to prove them wrong.

“She dumped me, Chris. I was ready to give her everything and she dropped me like a hot potato. Said she needed to focus on her career and wanted to make a name for herself on her own,” Jensen sniffed.

Kane sat up a little straighter, phone still in hand. “I’ve had your back for twenty years buddy, I ain’t about to say no now. What do you need?”

“I’ve got a writer’s showcase next weekend. I’ve got an idea, but I need your help,” Jensen explained his idea to Christian and they agreed to meet the next day.

~*~

Y/N Y/L/N had been performing show after show in little rinky dink clubs and county fairs. Her debut single was climbing the charts, but she felt like she was losing a part of herself in the process. Maybe the hardest part was having to sing that song every other night for the last three weeks. A song she wrote with Jensen. A song she had recorded and Jensen provided harmony on. A song that spoke about their love.

Now, what did she have? A hit single with her ex-boyfriend. How’s that for irony? She broke up with him because she wanted to make it on her own. Her own talent, her own name. And, it’s the song they co-wrote while they were together that was pushing her toward the top. She read the headline one more time as her tour bus rolled to the next town and her tears fell, staining the newsprint.

The entire world thought he kicked her to the curb but it was all her doing. It had been three weeks and she hadn’t seen or heard from him since she walked out on him. But she would have to see him next weekend at the showcase. They were expected to perform for everyone. She didn’t know how she could look him in the face now. Making it on her own? It was still him pushing her to chase her dreams like he always had. She wouldn’t be where she was if it wasn’t for him.

~*~

“Hey Los Angeles! I’m Christine Martindale and you’re listening to KKGO, Go Country 105 and have we got a show for you today!” Christine opened her broadcast for the day. “Tomorrow is the Ivories and Strings Songwriters showcase and we have a few of the songwriters in the station today to give all of us sneak peeks into their new music.”

Queuing up the next song in the lineup, Christine hit a couple buttons on the board in front of her before looking to her producer. “Who do we have first, Rudy?”

“We’ve got Y/N Y/L/N, Jensen Ackles with Christian Kane, and Steve Carlson all in the building today. Who do you want first?”

“Seriously? What is wrong with the booking agents? They booked both of them to be on with me today?” She rolled her eyes at Rudy through the glass. “Let’s go with Ackles and Kane first. I’ve loved him since he was on Days of Our Lives and Christian was on Angel!”

“Welcome back LA. That was Kane Brown with Short Skirt Weather and, speaking of Kane, I’ve got Jensen Ackles and Christian Kane here in the studio with me today. We’ll be hearing from Y/N Y/L/N and Steve Carlson both a bit later, but gentlemen, welcome!” Christine smiled brightly at both Jensen and Christian sitting across from her with their guitars. “Jensen, now that Supernatural is winding down, we understand you’ve been working on some music. What can you tell us about your newest project?”

“Hey, Christine. Well, yeah, after fifteen years of playing the same character, who to be honest, will always be a part of me, I decided it was time to delve a little deeper into something that I’ve always loved to do. I have been working with Steve Carlson and Jason Manns on a new album of original material,” Jensen chuckled a bit, clearing his throat. “And Chris tagged along with me today to debut my newest song which he co-wrote with me.”

“Well, I am excited. Christian, it’s always good to see you. Let’s hear it!” The announcer flipped off her microphone and watched as the singers readied themselves. The soft strums of their guitars filled the studio before Jensen started singing.

Well I know they say all good things

Must come to some kind of ending

We were so damn good, I guess we never stood a chance

Go and find what you've been missin'

When that highways tired a listenin'

You'll see I'm not that easy to forget

Jensen closed his eyes as he sang, his voice filled with emotion. He opened them to meet Christian’s as he joined him on the chorus.

And when a new moon shines through your window

Or you hear a sad song on the radio

And you don't know why but you just start to cry

Or you’re driving round on a sunny day

And outta nowhere comes the pouring rain

And a memory hits you right out of the blue

That's just me

Thinking of you

The constant commotion inside the radio station seemed to cease and all ears were tuned to the overhead speakers broadcasting Christine’s midday show and the singers in studio. Y/N looked up from her phone and froze when she heard a familiar voice coming from above.

I'm not gonna try to stop you

Duddn’t mean that I don't want too

If I know you, you've already made up your mind

To go on and go if you’re leaving

Put a million miles between us

But you’ll still feel me like I'm right there at your side

Tears filled her eyes as she listened to his soulful voice as he sang the words that she knew must have been painful for him to write.

And when a new moon shines through your window

Or you hear a sad song on the radio

And you don't know why but you just start to cry

Or you’re driving round on a sunny day

And outta nowhere comes the pouring rain

And a memory hits you right out of the blue

That's just me

Thinking of you

And I'm thinkin' about the road you’re on

I'm thinkin' about you coming home

I'm wondering if you got your radio on

Y/N jumped to her feet and threw open the door to the green room. She rushed down the hall toward the studios, searching frantically through the windows for any sign of the ball cap and ginger beard she had yearned for since the day she walked out of his life. And, there he was, in the last window on her left. Her body skidded to a stop, but her heart and mind were racing with anticipation and jittery nerves as she met his emerald gaze through the glass as he sang.

And when you find your way to another town

And someone tries to lay ya down

And a feelin' hits you right out of the blue

It’s me thinking of you

That's just me

Thinking of you.

Jensen finished the last chord and dropped his guitar as he rose from the stool. He hurried from the inner studio and wrenched open the outer door. “Y/N…” Her name fell from his lips as it had a thousand times before, as a tear slipped down his face.

“I’m sorry, Jensen. You were right. Every town. Every song, the sun, even the rain. It was all you. It’s always been you. You’ve been there every step of the way, even after I turned my back on us. I was so wrong to think I needed to do this on my own. What good are the victories if I don’t have you to share them with?” Y/N professed.

Fresh tears fell once more from her red rimmed eyes as he took a step forward and brushed his thumb across her cheek. “I never stopped thinking about you.”

“I think about you every day and how stupid I was to leave. It’s not worth it if I can’t share it with you,” she cried, her hand covering his, still cupping her face. “I don’t want to share it with anyone else.”

“Good,” he sighed, pulling her into his warm and certain embrace. “‘Cause I’m pretty sure we just wrote a hit song about you and I’d hate to have to celebrate that without you.”

“I’m not going anywhere. We’ll celebrate all the number ones together,” she whispered.

“It doesn’t matter anymore. This is my greatest hit, right here.”

The Whole Enchilada: @iwantthedean  @dolphincliffs @mrswhozeewhatsis @meganwinchester1999 @cherrycokegirls1 @closetspngirl  @roxyspearing @flamencodiva @blacktithe7 @sis-tafics @just-another-busyfangirl @evansrogerskitten @amanda-teaches @hannahindie @wotinspntarnation @winchesterprincessbride @winecatsandpizza @kickingitwithkirk  @wi-deangirl77 @hobby27 @mogaruke @gh0stgurl @paintrider13-blog @hunterscabin @alleiradayne @idreamofplaid

The Dean’s List / Jensen’s Jamboree: @jerkbitchidjitassbutt @dean-winchesters-bacon @maddiepants @adoptdontshoppets @mtngirlforever

[tessatechaitea]

Cerebus #17 (1980)

Oh! This is the issue where we learn that the toughest motherfuckers in Estarcion are priests!

What is the statute of limitations for stealing from nuns because have I got a story for my memoir! That's as close to an anecdote as I have for a comic book cover with a priest on it. At least I think that's a Tarimite priest and I think that was an anecdote (albeit a mysterious one!). It's been awhile since I've read Cerebus and I've certainly never seen most of these covers. You know how you can tell most Christians have never read The Bible? Because they're still Christian. I swear to fucking Christ it's the most ridiculous motherfucking thing I've ever read and I've read the later Xanth novels! I don't detect any hint of animosity or marital regret in Deni's "A Note from the Publisher." That just means I didn't find anything worth discussing since I'm inherently a 7th grade gossip. Dave Sim's Swords of Cerebus essay discusses sitcom television and how important it is to keeping everybody's minds diluted to the point of inefficacy. His major point is that it's easy to watch a four hour block of sitcoms without your brain coming up with one thought of its own. Obviously that's the lure of television. But what's not so obvious to most people is that it's not the show or the writing or the sitcom that's keeping you from having your own thoughts about them (although, granted, some aren't worth any thoughts at all). It's the block of time spent sitting and watching them one after the other. If a show offers an intelligent story line commenting on the troubles of our daily lives, the viewer has not time to process what they have just seen. They simply move on to the next show dumped into their viewing trough while whatever they just watched is dumped out the back of the brain to make room for the next character slipping on a banana peel causing Mr. Roper to smile mischievously at the camera because obviously that's what a gay person would do. This way of watching television mindlessly was probably more pertinent to the last century; now we are in full control of everything we watch and have ample time to pause a show or movie and discuss important and relevant bits rather then letting them simply disappear in the flicker of afterimages. Although, we sort of live in a binge culture now and watch entire shows in one sitting so we can move on to the next one. I miss the amount of discussion to be had during the week while waiting for the next episode of Wiseguy or Twin Peaks or Three's Company. Okay, maybe not that last one. What was there to discuss about that show other than why the fuck a landlord had any say in the roommate two women choose to share their apartment with?! If you read Dave Sim's essay, right now you'd be wondering, "How the fuck did that essay cause you to write those thoughts?!" Look, a digression isn't a digression because it's pertinent to the current narrative! Lay off me!

Oh, I guess this one isn't the one with the bad-ass priest (is that even one? Who can tell anymore? My brain is Swiss porridge); it's the one with the terrible German accents.

Cerebus left Palnu with a horse and eight bags of gold. When this issue begins, it's three weeks later and he's down to just the eight bags of gold. The horse had a minor accident which left Cerebus dragging bags of gold across a landscape turned muddy from torrential rains. To get out of the rain so that this issue doesn't devolve into multiple "Gee, what stinks?!" jokes, Cerebus purchases a hovel from some peasants for four pieces of gold. That's where he's relaxing when the big dumb German guys come knocking on his door. Cerebus learns that the Germans (or T'gitans or something. I feel like they're not really ever mentioned again. Not like the Hsifans or the Pavrovians) are about to invade Palnu which piques Cerebus' interest because Lord Julius was a huge pain in the ass and it would probably be funny to see his fall from power. Or maybe Cerebus just has ADHD. The guy on the cover I thought was a priest is some guy named Commander Krull. He's grim and large and dour and he's the kind of guy I thought of as a grown man when I was a kid. I will soon be 49 and I learned years ago that I'll never think of myself as the way I used to picture grown men. That's not a bad thing! I'm just commenting on the delusions that grow within the minds of children. When I was a child, I'm sure I subconsciously categorized every grown man in my life as "Man" or "adult male." I believe there was always a bit of fear that came along with the adults whom I though of as Men. It's probably why I loved old men so much because they were somehow broken through the other side of "Man" and were back to being child-like. If you're confused by my definitions of what I thought a Man was, I'd say it would have been people like Mr. Cunningham or James Evan Sr. or Pa Ingalls or Grizzly Adams or Sgt. Carter from Gomer Pyle or Mr. Banks from Mary Poppins. Men who didn't register as "Men" were Bert from Mary Poppins (hell, just about any character Dick Van Dyke played. He was too playful to be a Man), Jack Tripper, Gene Wilder as anybody, Roddy McDowall as anybody, Lenny & Squiggy. Maybe I was just intimidated by men with broad shoulders? It's sort of sad that one of the main qualities that made a male figure in my life "manly" was if they intimidated me. And yes, for those of you who actually think about shit I just wrote that you just read, Mr. C scared the bejesus out of me.

This is the face of a man who grew up thinking, "I have to be masculine or I am nothing!"

Just to be clear: I don't give a fucking toss about masculinity. All that nonsense about what makes a man a real man is simply philosophical wanking of the most boring kind. But that doesn't mean you aren't inordinately influenced by that shit while growing up, especially when your father left at two and all of your adult male role models were on television. I may have been intimidated by Mr. C and James Evans Sr and Pa Ingalls but thank fucking Christ for them because I knew at least three adult males cared about me for a small amount of time each week! Cerebus realizes Krull, disguised as a priest, has snuck out of the town for reinforcements. Cerebus' big plan is to not let that happen! My instincts are to call him a genius even though the plan seems pretty obvious. That's probably because Cerebus is a fictional character and I can lavish praise on him without feeling jealous and petty and upset that nobody is calling me a genius. I mean, why aren't they? Have I not criticized enough comic books to be regarded as a genius? Am I misunderstanding the definition of the word?!

Cerebus uses the priest disguise against Krull. Genius!

Like when he defeated the leader of the Eye of the Pyramid in Palnu, Cerebus uses trickery instead of force to defeat Krull. I mean, both are knocked out by a rock to the head which I suppose is force but Cerebus uses tricks to get the opportunity to smash rocks into their heads. Having defeated Krull, Cerebus and the T'gitans conquer Fluroc, putting pressure on Lord Julius to raise an army quickly (since his current army is on the Onliu border which is, I suppose, super far away and stuff). I guess next issue Lord Julius and Cerebus go to war! I can't believe I don't remember this story! I mean, I remember the Krull encounter but I'd forgotten it had anything to do with Cerebus waging war against Palnu. Another excerpt of Michael Loubert's "The Aardvarkian Age" appears this issue. It's as dry as reading an Associated Press rendition of a historical event. I'm not sure why I thought these things would be entertaining when I got to them. Cerebus is funny; why isn't the history of the world of Estarcion?! Aardvark Comment isn't interesting yet. It's still people praising this little rinky-dink comic book operation for surviving over a year. I can't wait until Dave starts pissing off fans and then arguing with them! Cerebus #17 Rating: B. This story seemed incomplete. Probably because it's just the first part! But also it seemed anti-climactic or a hodge-podge of semi-related scenes. It was like a sketch show! It had some pretty solid jokes but overall I just kind of felt like I'd have been better off spending the time eating a box of Oreos.