#dick grayson makes dad jokes

[squishykitty825]

Dick: What gets covered in dirt but somehow always stays clean?

Jason: A body in a coffin

Dick: …

Jason: …

Dick: Soap. It was soap.

[magicpiano]

I have seen a few DCxMarvel dimension travel fics, and quite a few of them are of them are Peter Parker post-blip. Which gives me a crack fic idea: everyone who got snapped ended up in the DC universe. Yes, all of them.

The current world population is around eight billion, so half of that would be 4 billion... Yeah that would cause so so so many problems. But the DC universe is used to crazy shit.

Obviously there would be a sudden influx of "new" heroes and villains but with absolutely no context it is hard to figure out who is who.

Batman immediately trying to make contingency plans for all these new heroes and villains as well as figure out their civilian identities but this is very difficult because literally no records exist yet.

Magic users from both worlds team up, but I think they were still unable to fix it, the infinity stones were just too powerful. Also I think Dr. Strange and Constantine can't stand each other.

While I am at it, Wonder Woman and Loki would probably hate each other too. DC is more Greek but it has had their own version of Norse mythology, so maybe they are the same and have beef?

They would struggle to feed and house that many new people, but getting them jobs and integrating them into society would be hard too. And good luck proving anything anyone says. "You swear you have a law degree from Harvard? Okay I guess."

Do doubles exist? Yeah a lot of people probably don't have an alternate universe double, but it stands to reason some do. How do you deal with having a new kind-of twin? Or a dead friend or relative coming back, but different? Or even someone you never knew/doesn't exist in this world insisting they are family.

Some au double ideas I have seen people toss around are: Dick Grayson as Richard Parker, Kara Danvers as Carol Danvers, Steve Trevor as Steve Rogers, and Slade Wilson as/being somehow related to Wade Wilson, but I am sure there are other fun ideas out there too.

The snap didn't just affect humans/earth! So other planets are having the same problems.

Then randomly, five years later, just when people were getting used to the change, they all disappear again without warning. This causes as many problems as the original appearance did.

[hallieticket]

Thanksgiving at the Waynes:

Dick- has come home for the holidays, has brought every single piece of clothing he owns for Alfred to wash, is the person in the family that makes everyone go around and say what they’re thankful for,decides halfway through the meal to stand on the table, tries to start a sing along, ends the night swinging from the chandelier for “old times sakes”

Jason- Refuses to come until Alfred plays the “I need help in the kitchen” card, yells at Dick for trying to steal food while he’s cooking it, “I need a whiskey to get through this dinner,” was told to leave his weapons at the door and takes twenty minutes to de-armor, he still has two guns on his person even after that, sneaks off after the meal to read in the library, somehow ends up surrounded by the entire family, stress bakes the night before and provides enough desserts to feed a family of ten

Tim- is “not working” but ends up taking three different business calls throughout the day, nurses a glass of wine all day long and leaves with only half of it drunk, somehow ends up sitting next to Damian and gets all of his silverware confiscated except for his spoon by the time they get to the main course, “TIM HOW MANY COFFEES HAVE YOU HAD TODAY?,” uses eggnog as creamer, somehow they end up playing poker and he absolutely smokes them

Damian- spends the entire day with some kind of animal perched on his shoulder (first Alfred the cat and then a bird: nobody knows where the bird came from), is thankful for his swords (they’re all secretly named after his brothers, he’ll die before he admits that), tries multiple times to sneak different kinds of alcohol, fails.

Bruce- Starts the day with at least one of his children jumping on his bed, tries to sneak out at least twice to patrol before Alfred stops him, has at least two bruised ribs, falls asleep on the couch after dinner, is forced to sit at the head of the table and nods off twice during dinner

Cassandra- unabashedly watches the thanksgiving day parade, is the only one that ends up patrolling after dinner, the only successful one that can steal food, smokes everyone but Tim in all their card games, helps Damian sneak alcohol without getting caught

HAPPY THANKSGIVING

[ghost-format]

Okay, the universe is giving me a bit too many comedically Peter Parker bad luck kinda days lately

And as funny as these things are (and upsetting, but I’ll be fine lol) if the universe kills off my dad or something imma freak out and actually become Spider-Man istg

[bamboozled-distress]

shoutout to dick and Barbara for choosing their original costumes for the sole purpose of taking the piss at Batman and to just absolutely enrage their father and sticking to their shit ass costumes for years on end because no matter what happens they are committed to the fucking bit.

[quiidam]

I think that all of the Batkids get a different version of Bruce as a father. But I think part of what makes his relationship with Dick so unique is that he was almost like a teen dad when he raised him. Yes, he was well into his late twenties early thirties but this man had never had a pet let alone been responsible for another life when he started raising Dick. He knew nothing about children. So of course he let Dick drink coffee and pull all nighters with him, started teaching him how to drive at eight years old, let him bulk up on protein shakes instead of eating regular meals and read any kind of book he could get his hands on. He vents about his life to Dick, no real boundary of parent and child. He’s the reason Dick climbs and jumps from every high point in the Manor— he’s a flying Grayson, he can handle himself. Until Alfred steps in starts explaining to Bruce that children need boundaries, that children are fragile. Dick still jokes about some of the things he was allowed to do as a child, Bruce still cringes.

[rin-may-1103]

Just a Bite.

Master Post | Next

Danny stared out at the busy street from behind his dumpster.

or well, not his dumpster, but it might as well be his considering how many nights he's spent sitting behind it like some rabid raccoon.

Two months ago, he would have been sleeping in his own bed. His glow-in-the-dark stars vaguely lighting up his room in soft luminescent colors. The sound of Jazz snoring in her sleep just a room over, his parents still milling around in the basement.

he would have just finished fighting the box ghost and collapsed onto his bed, the sound of his home lulling him to sleep.

Oh, how things can change in a blink of an eye.

No, instead of sleeping on his bed with his cartoon ghost sheets and NASA poster covered room, he's out here in some random dirty city, sleeping behind dumpsters.

dirty, grimy, rusty dumpsters.

"did you hear?" some lady dressed in a light blue summer dress asked, turning to look at her friend as they started to walk past. "Mr. Wayne donated another lump sum to that charity." she huffed, shaking her head like she had just said the most ridiculous thing she'd ever heard.

her friend stopped in the middle of the alley opening, her graying hair splaying in an ark as she twisted to face the other women. "my word! again? what the hell is that man thinking?"

the woman huffed, then smirked in amusement. "it's like he's shouting for the world to hear how desperate he is for attention. he thinks if he donates enough money to those scoudrails they'll love him or something. With how he's acting lately, it's like he wants all the street rats to barge into his home asking for money, food, and clothes."

her friend clicked her tongue in disgust, "I'd believe it. he has so many kids now, it's like he's running an orphanage. someone, anyone really, with black hair and some tragic story could walk right in and not even be noticed. they'd blend right in with the others."

"I heard it's genetic, his father was the same way before he met Martha. Bruce's blood son, Damian I believe, acts just like his father. the boy's been spotted taking stray cats and dogs inside. It wouldn't surprise me if the paper posted about him convincing his father for another sibling at some point."

the women then turned and started to walk away, their conversation slowly bleeding into the surrounding city ruckus.

Danny leaned back, resting his head against the crumbling brick behind him.

walk right in and not be noticed? wouldn't that be grand. He had heard of Mr. wayne and his gaggle of black-haired children. What were their names again? he could have sworn Sam told him before, in one of her rants about rich society.

Richard Grayson was the first, Danny remembered because Tucker had been making none stop dick jokes for a few hours. Danny didn't understand why the man would willingly go by Dick, but then again, who was he to question someone's name when he fights ghosts like Skulker and Technis on a daily basis?

Next was... Jason? Sam had mentioned there was a whole conspiracy theory of how his death was a cover-up. how all the unsolved crime community swore it was Bruce who killed the kid, that or the kid had some terminal illness that Bruce didn't want the media to know about.

thennnnnn-

Danny glanced around, trying to dig through his memories of Sam's rant. Dick: the orphaned circus act taken in the night his parents died. he's romanie? maybe, Danny wasn't too sure on that one. Jason: taken off the streets, one of his parents was out of the picture and the other one died of a drug overdose.

and then there was..... Tim! Right, Tim, the one who was Mr. Wayne's neighbor before his mother died and his dad went into a coma, then died later on. right, right. he was the known tech genius, the one who took over the company while Mr. Wayne stepped back for a while.

there were others? like, four others? Damian, the lady said he was the blood son sooo, that would imply he was the only bio kid.

who else was there? hmmmm.

well, either way, Danny's tired brain agreed with the women. someone, anyone, who looked vaguely like the other kids could walk right into the house and no one would notice.

it was a bad idea. a terrible one really. but. Danny was hungry.

he's been sleeping behind dumpsters for a few weeks now, he hadn't had anything good to eat in forever, and he was tired. (not as exhausted as he was back home, but still tired. who would have guessed he'd sleep more while homeless?)

he wasn't going to steal from people, his core wouldn't allow him to. and well, he's pretty sure Dan would have stolen already, so there was no way Danny was going to. not unless his life was at risk, and well? it wasn't right now, so no stealing.

but this? walking right into a house and blatantly taking food? right in front of them?

it wouldn't be stealing if he just flat-out didn't try to hide it. they'd be able to stop him and send him away. heck, he doubted he'd even make it past the front gate before they turned him away.

...

was he really going to do this?

...

yes, yes he was.

standing up, Danny started making his way out of the alleyway and over to the tall building with Wayne's name on it. It was a good place to start, maybe he could even find one of the kids and walk with them. or, even better, he could find Mr. Wayne and walk with him. he liked that better than following some kid around.

suddenly, a car honked right next to him, the window rolling down to reveal a tired and disheveled man behind the wheel. glancing up, Danny made eye contact with the taxi driver.

the man yawned and gestured for him to get in, already speaking before Danny could decline. "Mr. Wayne! Your father," yawn, "Father already paid for me to take you home. just hop in."

Danny blinked then glanced around, looking to see if the Wayne the man was talking about was around. nope. turning back, Danny spotted a green sticky note on the back seat.

well, alright then. guess he was getting into the taxi and doing this after all. Clockwork obviously approved if he messed with the timing of things.

Next

[littlefankingdom]

Seeing all those posts and fanfics where the batkids, especially Dick, calls Clark "uncle Clark", made me think.

If Dick calls Clark "uncle Clark", he probably started doing it BEFORE he ever referred to Bruce as his father. After all, another uncle doesn't erase any existing one, but accepting Bruce as his father was erasing John Grayson in Dick's mind, for multiple years. It makes sense for Dick's confused feelings about his situation to call Clark "uncle" before calling Bruce "dad".

So, I present you: Bruce being envious of Clark because Dick refers to him with a family's title but Bruce is just "B".

And in the same continuity: Dick being envious of Jason calling Bruce "dad" so easily.

For Dick, it feels as if the word is stuck in his throat. He can say it to joke around with others ("let's steal dad's car" he tells Jason), but to Bruce's face? He's afraid the world would end.

[ahqkas]

♯ I PLEDGE ALLEGIANCE TO MY DAD . . . for teaching me everything he knows ( dick grayson & jason todd as dads ! )

— fem!reader as mom, fluff, not edited, based on this req.!!

© ahqkas — all rights reserved. even when credited, these works are prohibited to be reposted, translated or modified

. . . DICK GRAYSON !

dick was always great with kids; his natural warmth, patience, and humor made him a magnet for them, even before he became a father. he often thought back to his days as robin, remembering how bruce wayne took him in and gave him stability, and he wanted to offer that same feeling ( and definitely more ) to his children.

when you two first talked about having kids, he was equal parts excited and nervous about it. dick worried about balancing family life with his vigilante responsibilities, but he couldn’t wait to start a family with you. he knew that no matter what, you’d face it together

your first child, a boy, inherits your husband’s bright energy and natural charisma. from the moment your son was born, dick was a hands-on dad. midnight feedings? no problem. diaper changes? a breeze ( well, almost ). he approached fatherhood the same way he approached everything else—with passion and a healthy dose of humor

he’s not just the dad who builds the coolest blanket forts or makes pancakes shaped like bats; he’s the dad who listens, encourages, and shows up, no matter how tired he might be after a long night of patrol. even when exhaustion clings to him like a second skin, his kids come first. if his son wants to show him the new drawing he made, dick will sit down and marvel at it as if it belongs in a gallery. if his daughter has a nightmare, he’s at her bedside in seconds, stroking her hair and whispering how she’s okay and nothing’s gonna hurt her while he’s here until she drifts back to sleep

he’s the dad who remembers every detail about his kids’ lives—their favorite bedtime stories, their least favorite vegetables, the songs that make them smile—and makes sure they feel seen and heard every single day. when he’s with them, he’s fully present, setting aside his worries about blüdhaven or the weight of his world. to them, he’s not nightwing; he’s just dad, their safe place, the person they know will always be there no matter what

he teaches your son how to ride a bike, holding the seat steady as those wobbly first attempts make an appearance. “you’ve got this!” dick encourages his son, jogging beside him. when the first scrape happens—knees meeting pavement in a blur of surprise and pain—he’s there in an instant, crouching down with the kind of gentle urgency only a dad can master

his strong arms wrap around his son in a hug that says, i’ve got you, even as tears well up in the young eyes. he’s quick with jokes to soothe the sting, brushing dirt and pebbles off tiny palms. “hey, you know what? you’re officially a biker now. all the pros have scars to prove it.”

it doesn’t matter if he’s running on just a few hours of sleep or if his legs are sore from the night before. he’ll stay on that sidewalk all afternoon if it means helping his son find the courage to get back on the bike

when your daughter is born, it’s as if a new light ignites in dick’s heart, one that’s softer and warmer than anything he’s ever felt before. from the moment he holds her—tiny, delicate, and swaddled in pastel pink—he’s utterly smitten by the baby. his breath catches in his throat as her little fingers curl instinctively around one of his. it’s the smallest thing, but to him, it’s everything. he gazes at her with an awe that rivals the first time he stood under a gotham sunrise after a long patrol as robin

every little thing she does—every yawn, every sleepy coo, even the way she scrunches her nose—melts him completely. he’s the first to volunteer for late-night feedings, cradling her against his chest while whispering soft lullabies. “it’s okay, princess,” he murmurs, his voice low and soothing, as if the sound of it alone could shield her from the world

she’s the spitting image of you, but she’s got dick’s sense of curiosity and mischief. as she grows, it’s clear she’s a daddy’s girl through and through. dick spoils her with affection, often carrying her on his shoulders or letting her “style” his hair, even if it means showing up to patrol with hair ties

she’s the one who always convinces him to stay for “just one more bedtime story,” and dick can never say no to those puppy eyes. he does all the voices, acting out scenes with a dramatic flair that leaves her giggling uncontrollably

family movie nights are a regular occurrence. dick lets the kids pick the movie, even if it means sitting through the same animated film for the fifth time. he doesn’t mind—he’s just happy to have everyone snuggled up together

. . . JASON TODD !

jason never thought he’d be a dad. gotham wasn’t kind to kids, and in his darker moments, he felt like it had swallowed the boy he used to be whole. he worried his own traumas—nights spent cold and hungry on the streets, the ache of betrayal, the sting of abandonment—might cast shadows over the kind of father he’d want to be. how could he teach love and trust when his world had been built on survival and second chances?

the thought of holding a child, so small and fragile, scared him more than any villain ever could. what if he didn’t have it in him to be the kind of dad they deserved? what if his sharp edges cut too deep, or worse, he failed to protect them from the city that had failed him? jason had spent so long fighting his way through life that the idea of creating a safe, warm space for someone else felt like trying to plant flowers in a wasteland. and yet, the thought of building something good—something untouchable by gotham’s darkness—stirred a longing in him he couldn’t ignore.

when you told him you were pregnant with your first child, he was stunned silent for a solid minute. then came the slight tremble in his hands as he cradled your face and whispered, “we’re really doing this?” you swore you saw tears in his eyes, though he’d deny it later

he threw himself into preparing for fatherhood. between patrols, you’d catch him reading baby books, jotting down notes in that same serious way he planned missions. ( “what the hell is a diaper genie, baby? is it a genie for diapers, or does it genie them away?” )

when your first daughter was born, jason held her for the first time with an awe. he whispered promises to her, things like, “you’ll never go through what i did,” and “i’m gonna give you the world, princess.”

jason’s daughters own him. his rough, serious ide of personality melts into a puddle of mush when they so much as giggle at him. one pouty face, and he’s done for

when they’re little, he becomes a human jungle gym. they’ll climb all over him, pull on his hair, and stick stickers all over his face while he sits patiently, letting them “decorate” him. ( “you’re turning me into a unicorn, huh? cool. just don’t let your mom take pictures—too late? figures.” )

as they grow, he keeps a close eye on everything, from their friends to the neighborhoods they walk through. he’s not overbearing but has serious dad-radar. if they so much as mention a creepy guy or a mean teacher, he’s all, “do i need to handle this? no? you sure? okay, but say the word.”

by age eight, they’ve both mastered basic self-defense, thanks to “daddy’s fun time karate sessions.” he makes it a game—lots of laughter and encouragement—but underneath it, he’s deadly serious

when they’re older, he teaches them how to change a tire, handle their own money, and, much to your exasperation, how to throw a punch. ( “jason, they don’t need to know how to disarm a grown man at ten years old!” “baby, it’s gotham. yes, they do.” )

he’s the kind of dad who makes pancake breakfasts on weekends, complete with smiley faces and way too much syrup

on father’s day, his daughters surprise him with handmade cards every year. jason’s tough demeanor cracks every time he reads their scrawled messages: “daddy, you’re my hero.”

and jason as a father to teenage girls? lord, help us all.

when his eldest goes on her first date, he plays it cool—for all of two seconds. he grills the poor kid with subtle threats hidden behind a charming smile. ( “so, you like my daughter? good. treat her right, or you’ll have a real bad night. understand?” )

you have to remind him not to tail them when they go out. “jason, they’ll know you’re following them.” “i’ll stay a block behind. they’ll never see me.”

but despite his overprotectiveness, he’s their anchor during tough times. when they experience their first heartbreaks, he is there with hugs, ice cream, and the kind of pep talks that make them laugh through their tears. “anyone who doesn’t see how amazing you are isn’t worth crying over. you’re the todd girl. we don’t settle for less.”

deep down, jason worries about failing them. he knows what it’s like to lose everything, and the thought of his girls experiencing even a fraction of that makes his stomach churn

[incorrectbatfam]

The batkids (and their partners/crushes/friends) with pride month hcs?

Tim: Lady. Gentleman. Bart. You are about to meet my boyfriend. Now remember, he doesn't know I'm Robin, so you need to act like human people. Can you do that?

Kon, Cassie, and Bart: Yes sir!

Bernard, entering: Hey, it's nice to meet you guys. I'm so glad we're going to Pride together.

Cassie: *lasso immediately falls out of her bag*

Kon: *lasers the ground at Bernard's feet*

Bart: Hi, I'm Impulse.

Tim: *facepalm*

Bart: What? We didn't give away YOUR identity.

———————

Steph, running a food truck: Pride snacks! Get your Pride snacks hot 'n ready! Get two-for-one on the bi-rria tacos!

Margie: I bet you don't have anything for straight pride. You know, the rest of us normal people.

Steph: Yo Cass, one cishet sizzler!

Cass: *throws coffee in Margie's face*

Steph: That'll be $19.99.

Steph: *turns the screen around for tips*

———————

Selina: *wears a shirt saying Free Mom Hugs*

Bruce: *wears a shirt saying Inclusive Dad Jokes*

Alfred: *wears a shirt saying Weird Grandpa Stories*

Kate: *wears a shirt saying I'm Just Gonna Tell You To Dump Them*

———————

Harper: Since this is your first Pride, we're gonna show you the ropes.

Duke: Thanks, I appreciate it.

Harper: Over there we have the Batgirls food truck. Over there is Cullen's evil mafia boyfriend selling Uno cards. And over there is the Justice League in Justice League themed drag.

Cullen: And over there is the porta potty.

Duke: Only one?

Cullen: We ran over budget. But it's gender-neutral.

———————

Renee: Kate's busy telling people to dump their partners. Mind if I hang out here?

Harley: Not a problem! Want a bi-rria taco?

Renee: Nah, but I'll take the les-beans if you don't want them.

Ivy: We were just about to start a game of Gay Uno.

Renee: Gay Uno?

Harley: It's like regular Uno except when you put down a +4 you have to kiss.

Renee: Deal me in.

———————

Jason: You take the Main Street entrance. I'll cover Atlantic up to Washington. Rendezvous here in an hour.

Roy: And then we make out?

Jason, sighing: Sure.

Roy: Sloppy style?

Jason: This is a PG-13 post, Roy.

———————

Dick: Of course I make people question their sexuality with a face like this.

Wally: Sure, your face...

Wally: *glances down*

Donna: You guys are exhausting. I'm joining Roy on patrol.

———————

Barbara: Welcome to the annual conference of Sapphics Who Used To Date Dick Grayson. Helena, what's the first item on our agenda?

Helena: Discussing forming a polycule over dinner.

Bette: I already made a reservation.

Kory: I call braiding everyone's hair.

———————

Luke: Thanks for giving me a hand with the fireworks.

Carrie: Of course. By the way, I have something to tell you. You're the first person I've told.

Luke: I accept you.

Carrie: Thanks, but I was actually gonna say that I scratched your car in the parking lot.

Luke: WHAT?!

Carrie: Also I go by she/they.

———————

Lois: How on Earth did you burn your cape at a Pride festival?

Jon: Well...

[earlier]

Damian and Jon: *watching the fireworks*

Damian: I like that flower one.

Jon: *shoots into the sky to grab it*

Damian: *facepalm*

Tim, sitting nearby: You and me both.

[devotedlyandrogynousyouth]

Okay, please tell me I’m not the only one frothing at the mouth at the idea of Baby Daddy Dick Grayson???

AHHH YES I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR SOMETHING LIKE THIS💙 I'll have Dick's babies any time tbh.

BabyDaddy! Richard Grayson

BabyDaddy! Richard Grayson who still insists on calling you "babe" even though you two have clearly been on rocky terms ever since the breakup. He acts like he's still the charming, lovable guy you once knew, but it’s a little harder to ignore his flirty nature now that you're co-parents and he's dragging his feet on the whole "responsibility" thing.

BabyDaddy! Richard Grayson who shows up late to pick up your kid, always looking like he just got off of a rooftop, trying to juggle his crime-fighting schedule with his duties as a father. But when it comes to helping out around the house, he tries to pull the "I’m too busy saving Gotham" card... again. You’re starting to roll your eyes every time he uses it.

BabyDaddy! Richard Grayson who, when asked to pay child support, tries to sweet-talk his way out of it with an overconfident wink, joking that "how could you possibly put a price on this?" while flexing his abs. But it’s hard to stay mad when he shows up with ice cream for your kid and flirts with you like you’re still together—just long enough for him to sneak out without paying.

BabyDaddy! Richard Grayson who, despite his flirty nature and charm, genuinely tries to be a good dad. He’ll drop everything when your child needs him, even if it means cutting his patrol short or rearranging his schedule. You can always count on him to be there for the important moments, even if his timing is off sometimes.

BabyDaddy! Richard Grayson who genuinely adores his child but still struggles to grasp the concept of boundaries. He’ll show up unannounced, claiming it’s to "spend time with the little one," but really, he’s just looking for an excuse to rekindle that old spark with you.

BabyDaddy! Richard Grayson who sometimes forgets that he’s supposed to be a grown-up, trying to get away with showing up at your house in his Robin gear to make everything feel like some sort of "happy family." His tendency to leap into action (sometimes literally) makes things complicated when you're just trying to have a quiet evening.

BabyDaddy! Richard Grayson who, despite his complicated life, always makes time to bond with his child. He might not be perfect, but he’s the first to throw on his old Robin uniform for a "training session" or teach your kid how to juggle or do acrobatics, giving them a fun and loving memory that they’ll cherish forever.

BabyDaddy! Richard Grayson who, when you finally call him out for his lack of involvement, just gives you that boyish smile and says, "Come on, can’t you just cut me some slack?" He’ll promise to do better, but deep down, you know he probably won’t—at least not until you hold his feet to the fire.

BabyDaddy! Richard Grayson who swears he’s "getting better" with commitment and responsibility but ends up over-committing to things, like training your child in martial arts when you specifically told him no, or disappearing for a few days on a "secret mission." You don’t know what’s worse—the lack of communication or him acting like nothing’s changed when he comes back.

BabyDaddy! Richard Grayson who, when he actually pulls himself together, is a total sweetheart. He'll leave you little notes, either tucked into your child’s backpack or stuck on the fridge, reminding you of how much he appreciates you and how proud he is of the family you’re raising together, even if he’s not always the most present.

BabyDaddy! Richard Grayson who secretly listens when you talk about your hopes and dreams for the future, and while he doesn’t always show it, he supports you in subtle ways. He’ll show up at your kid’s school play, even though he’s exhausted from fighting crime, just to let you know he’s on your side. His actions often speak louder than his words.

BabyDaddy! Richard Grayson who, when he does take responsibility, goes above and beyond. He’ll make sure your child has everything they need—school supplies, a new bike, or even just a good bedtime story. It might take a little nudging, but when he gets it right, he really gets it right.

BabyDaddy! Richard Grayson who might joke around with you, but he’s fiercely protective of your family. He’d rather face down a villain than see you or your child in harm's way. He’s always got your back, even when you fight, because deep down he wants you both to be safe and happy.

BabyDaddy! Richard Grayson who tries hard to make amends when he messes up. If he misses an important date or forgets something, he’ll make it up to you with an over-the-top gesture, like taking you and your kid out to dinner at your favorite restaurant, or even organizing a little weekend getaway—just to show he’s trying to make things right.

BabyDaddy! Richard Grayson who sometimes tries to make it up to you with a bottle of wine on nights when your kid is at a sleepover. "It's just the right thing to do," is almost always his excuse, and you know better. Despite your better judgement, you still let him in, anyway. What's the worst that could happen?

BabyDaddy! Richard Grayson who ends up between your legs after only a couple of drinks, greedily lapping at your neglected cunt as the TV plays on in the background. It was almost enough to cover up your soft moans as you tugged on his black locks while he practically made out with your pussy.

BabyDaddy! Richard Grayson who's on top of you pretty soon after that, rutting into you at such a ruthless pace that it was almost hard to remember your own name. His arms are wrapped around your torso just like yours are around him as he drills into you on the couch of your apartment.

BabyDaddy! Richard Grayson who likes to say the nastiest things during these nights that he knows you haven't heard since you were together. "Yeah? You like it when Daddy does this, baby?" His voice is caught between being a moan and a tease as he twists your perked nipples between his index finger and thumb.

BabyDaddy! Richard Grayson who never leaves your unsatisfied by the end of the night. Does he like to tease you? Yes. Does he like to make you work for it? Absolutely. But not once has he ever left your apartment without having made you cum at least twice.

BabyDaddy! Richard Grayson who will always stay the night, if you let him. He misses you so much more than he would ever admit, even to himself. There is absolutely nothing he wants more than to be able to hold you in his arms like this every night. He misses being able to stay the night without having to ask. You do too, for the record, but you just need a bit more time to think about letting him back into your life.

Masterlist

[martiniluvr]

I need Dick Grayson with a breeding kink so bad. Hed see you with some kids at some wayne family event and the moment your hone hes jumping you. Whimpering about how bad he needs to fill you up 🙏🙏

started levitating and speaking in tongues when I read this…..it’s like ur inside my head🧎🏽‍♀️

holy spirit took over so it’s longer than anticipated oops hope y’all enjoy 🫶

18+ minors dni

warnings: breeding kink, mentions of pregnancy, dick grayson going feral

★・・・★・・・★・・・★

you and dick grayson had just attended a wayne foundation fundraiser for the development of a local school, where he had witnessed for the first time how you interact with children. he watched as you chatted with the little guests of honour and laughed at their silly jokes, and how one of the smallest girls in the group shyly approached you to ask about your princess dress, as she called it. you engaged with each of the kids so naturally that his mind instinctively wandered to what it would be like to see you with his children someday.

he brought the idea up on the car ride home to gauge your reaction. “I mean, think about it,” he said. “a mini-me. or a mini-you—teaching them to ride a bike, or something. going to recitals. I don’t know.” a fond smile ghosted over him.

you laughed, surprised by his words. “that’s sweet, grayson,” you said. “I think you’d make a great dad.” he glanced at you expectantly.

“but…?”

“but,” you continued, “we’d have to make the kids first, you know. it takes time.” hearing that made him pause for a moment.

“oh, yeah. right,” he murmured. he hadn’t thought about that part—the process of getting you pregnant. you didn’t notice the way his jaw tensed, or how his knuckles whitened around the the steering wheel, or even the sudden tightness in his suit pants. the engine roared as he sped up, his sole focus on getting you home.

★・・・★・・・★・・・★

you can barely recall what happened between him parking the car and you ending up on his bed. all you know is that your gala clothes are strewn across the floor, your legs are being pressed open against you, and dick’s starving mouth is on your soaking pussy, sucking desperately. his ministrations are impatient and disorganised, not at all like the dick you’re used to. what’s gotten into him?

beneath him, his cock aches as he ruts against the mattress, precum leaking onto his stomach. he’s already worked you to two generous orgasms despite his state of desperation. unable to wait any longer, he crawls his way back up your body until his cock is flush against your wet folds, his strong hands keeping your thighs wide open and pressed back so he has a full view of your sex.

your jaw falls slack as he gradually plunges into you until his length disappears in your walls. he’s deeper than usual, and your hand lurches to push him back. he intercepts your wrist instantly, pinning it down next to you.

“c’mon, baby, you can take it,” he coos hoarsely, his breathing ragged as his eyes travel your body. “feel that, baby. feel how deep I’m going. it’s intense, huh?” he leans down closer to you, pressing his body onto the back of your thighs as he fucks you slowly. “try to relax, pretty girl. this is the best way for me to fill you up, okay?” realisation hits you as he says the words. so that’s what this is about.

his thrusts speed up, and he feels you tighten with each intrusion. “fuck…you trying to squeeze it out of me? that’s how bad you want it, huh?” his smirk is arrogant, but it wavers as your walls spasm around him again, a lewd whine slipping through your lips. dick watches as your needy pussy grips his length and pulls him back in, practically begging to be filled. his moans grow louder as he drills into you, the pressure in his lower abdomen building quickly.

you’re taken by the primal way he’s is fucking you tonight. you’ve never experienced this side of him—messy, greedy, filthy—and it’s truly a sight to behold. the way his sweat-sheened muscles strain with each thrust sends another rush of wetness through you, and you feel it pooling around dick’s length.

“I wanna fuck a baby into you, pretty girl,” he keens, more to himself than to you; “wanna see you take it all.” his eyes screw shut in pleasure, feeling the way your walls contract around him; you’re almost delirious from the sensation of him pounding into you, and it’s driving him over the edge. his breathing is irregular when he speaks; “I’m gonna fill this little pussy up—that’s what you want, huh, baby? you want me to cum inside you?”

“yeah—yes,” you gasp, your voice barely above a squeak, “cum inside me, dick, please!”

as you say the words, you feel his cock twitch, and his strokes grow sloppy; he whines into you when he climaxes, burying his face into the crook of your neck as his hips buck. you hear him moan your name as he finishes, and his movements slowly come to a halt. breathlessly, you hold him in place, your arms clinging to his shoulders in an attempt to preserve the feeling of him buried inside you like this, with his breath fanning across your neck.

after a moment, dick sits back up and pulls out of you slowly, his length ringed in both your fluids. his face is frozen in admiration as he watches his load dripping out of you and sliding down your ass. he reaches down and smears the liquid over your folds before pushing it back into your sensitive entrance with his thumb, not intending to waste a drop.

“fuck…you take it so well, baby,” he breathes as he leans back down to kiss you feverishly. he then holds his thumb to your mouth, and you suck it clean, staring up into his blue eyes through your lashes. a loving expression settles on his features as he runs the pad of his thumb along your jaw, and your belly tenses at the feeling of him still dripping out of you while your legs relax by his sides.

“y’know,” he says after a beat, a teasing smile on his lips. “I hear it takes a while for this kind of thing to stick. we’re probably gonna have to do this a few more times.”

“alright, grayson,” you laugh, your fingers absently running through his hair. “but you’re washing the sheets.” he cracks a playful grin and rests his forehead against yours.

“deal,” he murmurs, kissing you again.

[midnightorchids]

Hellloooo- the only thing I wanted to say about Jason Todd is that he is probably actually really playful and fun to be around. Like it's not too much because homeboy is traumatized but is still one of the most playful in the batfam

Like even in his evil voiceless as red hood there were still some playfulness in his tone,I sincerely believe he is more laid back and chill then dick Grayson.

No because this is so true, Jason is definitely super fun and playful!!Also, this just inspired me to make a little list of silly!Jason headcanons, I hope you like them! Enjoy!

- jason is a pretty serious guy when you first meet him, but he’s actually really funny! i think his humour is very dead pan and sarcasm heavy, but he laughs at most things lol

- sometimes, he makes dad jokes and they’re honestly so bad that they’re kinda funny

- i’ve said this before, but i’ll say it again! he definitely uses humour to cope and he makes a lot of death jokes or he just simply says “kill me again” at every minor inconvenience (real)

- he’s really easy to get along with because he’s super laid back and chill

- he also has nicknames for most people (and things) and they’re really dumb, when he uses people’s actual names they’re like oh shit because that means he’s angry

- he has a really contagious laugh, it’s deep and attractive

- BUT sometimes it’s so stupid, like he’s giggling so hard, clutching his sides and hitting people (im guilty of this) and it’s like bro is it really that funny LMAO

- also when he does this type of laugh it’s usually funnier than the joke

- oh and he definitely struggles to get out a joke if he thinks it’s funny, he’s laughing so hard before getting to the punchline and you’re just staring at him like man finish the sentence please

- i genuinely think he makes commentary when he’s fighting someone on patrol

- he’s very chatty once you get know him

- his voice gets a little higher pitched when he talks to kids and animals, he baby talks to cats (but only when no one is around)

- also cat memes.

[riotlain]

Hi! Could you please do Batboys (sepretly) with a younger brother reader? Basically hcs of the reader copying and looking up to their brother, and he accidentally calls them dad (it's his first word)

Ty, have a great day or night!<33

im back in my fanfic era guys

didn't include duke bc i blanked when jt came to him😭😭

Dick Grayson

The minute you starts copying him he's over the moon and everyone else in the manor freaks out

No, you can't hang on the chandelier like he used to

He teaches you fun tricks though

You have your own little bō staff like his

Yes he has dressed you up in a Nightwing costume for halloween

Carries you around with one of those chest baby carrier things

If you were to ever call him dad as a first word his heart would stop

Like he's happy you said your first word but like he will make sure you don't call him dad around Bruce😭😭

Will crush the old man's heart (joke)

Jason Todd

Probably the last one to meet you since he's hardly ever in the manor

When he does see you though, he's immediately protective over you

Whenever you started copying him, he'd think its funny

How you cross your arms whenever he crosses his or sighs whenever he does it

He feels a wonderful kinship

Then you call him dad and he is immediately gone (mentally)

^^ His reaction

He is hardly ready to enter a relationship, much less be a dad

Even if you just see him once every blue moon

He just sorta picks you up and brings you to Bruce

"Thats your dada."

Tim Drake

Probably the second best brother to mimic out of them all since he's like pretty normalish

He has you sit on his lap while he works

You probably turned into an ipad baby cause of him

Also the type to carry you around with the chest baby carrier

You 2 nap together

When he you call him dad he just freezes up and stares at you for a moment

Then he panics and tries to get you to call Bruce dad instead

Damian Wayne

The first brother to meet you and of course he begins training you like how he was trained

Minute you began walking it was training time

Of course, you didn't really care but you had fun

Damian doesn't carry you around or anything but he holds your hand when you guys are in public

Especially at balls. He talks shit with you even though you hardly know any words

"Look at that woman over there flirting with father. How could she even think she has a chance with him?"

You:

If you were to call him dad, he would then lecture you with pictures about how Bruce is your dad and is very cool and how Batman is cool

Like a chump

[gaywineauntsstuff]

Things I think about late at night

-discowing was Dicks dads costume

-the mullet everyone cracks jokes about (same) was given to him my mirage

- the OG Robin costume was based on his parents and his circus costumes and now it’s black, gray and orange

- Jason Todd’s biggest fear is not living up to Dick Grayson (in Bruce’s eyes)

- Damian Wayne’s biggest fear is disappointing Dick Grayson

- DC tried to make Dick and Donna a thing (no..just no)

-Dick and Damian both have a compulsive need to pick up strays (is this Bruce’s fault or did they bond over this?)

- Tim Drake is so cool in the comics and I wasted so many years hating him cuz fanon Tim is a lil bitch boy

-Jason Todd is such a loser in canon but it works so well on him god damn

-I’m actually rlly annoyed that Steph is never a contender for nightwing I think she’d do rlly well tbh

- Steph’s backstory is way sadder than Tim’s we should absolutely talk about it more

-Lian Harper :(

-Tim is so funny when he’s just some dude who ADHD hyperfixationed his way into a “I got adopted by my favorite band” y/n self insert fic except the band was a collection of deeply unstable people who fight crime and also happens to have an IQ of 180

-

This image

- the fact that Bruce and Dick/Damian/Tim have a deeply dysfunctional relationship and I need them in family therapy

- Cass isn’t actually Bruce’s favorite she’s just the one that should be.

- the fact that Jason Todd canonically likes Dick Grayson and doesn’t like Nightwing

- the fact that Donna and Stephanie Brown aren’t friends and have never had a run together in canon (they should be- give me mentor-mentee vibes fr ong)

- Damian wants to become a doctor like his grandfathers and his mom <3

-the fact that Dick missed a solid portion of Damian’s development if you consider both spryal and the Ric arc to have happened in the same timeline

- Dick stole Bruce,babs and Damian’s super

- Garth, Dick and Donna are a sliding scale of blue to black costumes (they come in a set!!!)

- the fact I don’t have enough Dick and Garth fanon and canon content

- Jason/ Red hood needs an iconic establishing story like Nightwing year 1. I feel like Dixons Grayson is so easy to reference as like the “standard Grayson” before you add all the other (imo better) stuff from other future runs and tbh I don’t think Jason has any (if you disagree gimmie some recs)

- the fab 5 are called that in canon

- Garth didn’t have any friends pre joining the OG titans

- nightwing is on every Pride cover every damn year and he hasn’t kissed Roy or Wally yet? Sir? Plz

- Wally lost his wife and children multiple times in canon

- young Roy was bitter and wanted to compete with Robin!Dick but adult Roy wants to punch Bruce in the face bc he realizes bby Grayson was so abnormal

[fictitious-obsession]

BigBro Dick Grayson with Little Sibling Vigilante Reader Headcanons

I have not done a sibling relationship one yet and really wanted to. Hope you enjoy! Here is my masterlist for more. ~ Anya

When you were brought in by Bruce into the Batfam, he immediately had a soft spot for you.

Training sessions with him are calculated, but not as grueling as with some of the others.  He lets you pick what to work on, but does try to make it more fun.

After training snack stops are a MUST.  Anything from ice cream to sweets to chips to smoothies. He’ll take you after a good workout or training

Patrols can be both fun and frustrating. He will be overprotective, but try to crack jokes on a boring night.

He is responsible as much as he is fun, so when he sees you focused on the patrols or missions, he takes pride in that.

He is well aware that you can fight and kick ass on your own and won’t cut in to take that from you. He really only gets in the way if he feels like you are in danger or at a high risk.

If you get into an argument or fight with one of the other Batfam members, he lends an ear and tries to calm you down.

He knows your body language well and goes out of his way to check if you are okay or give you your favorite things to cheer you up.

He definitely builds blanket forts for him, you, and the other siblings. Full of lights, pillows, and lo-fi music.

When he moves to Blüdhaven, you are welcome to stay with him whenever you want. He is a phone call away, no matter what.

For major events in your life, he is there for you. From a prom night, to your 21st birthday, to bringing your partner over for the first time, he is there as your hype man.

When it comes to romantic advice, he’s a bit of an over-sharer, but he wants you to be happy and not be heartbroken by some jerk. He’ll give you his perspective and red and green flags.

In addition to relationship chats, he loves to hear about your crushes and/or partner.  Seeing you so passionate about someone is adorable and raw to him. He also takes it as a sign of trust.

When you get sick, he goes full mother-hen mode with Bruce and Alfred to take care of you. He will overreact, but it’s out of love

Same goes for if you are injured while on patrol. He goes into first aid mode and fusses over getting everything for you.

He is the dad of the group when it comes to snacks and feeding you. You will not go hungry with him around.

But he isn’t always fun and games. If you are getting too rowdy or rough, he will make sure to let you know.

When a plan of attack is in motion, he watches over you to be sure you do it right and safely.

He does not tolerate separating from the core values of the Batfam, but will not be as harsh as some of the other members.

If you are one of the vigilantes that takes more to violence or killing, he will show disapproval, but not hold it against you outside of the costume.

Overall, he cares for you a lot and will look after you, while still respecting your space and choices. A good big bro.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Hope you liked it. :) Feel free to read more or make requests. ~ Anya