#despite the fact that i KNOW i will be happy just to be there seeing them live again

[rayroseu]

I really appreciate the beauty of Malleus New Year's card. But most importantly, other than its gorgeousness, I also appreciate how it pays so much homage to his status and character, from the flowers, the clothes, and the setting. 🥹

We know that wisterias were prevalent in his Dorm Groovy SSR, this time its another flower which is the red plum blossom here😭❤️

In Chinese philosophy, the Plum tree’s blossom is a symbol of winter ending and a herald of spring. The tree’s pale pink blossoms are cherished because they bloom vibrantly and so bravely amidst the winter chill. They symbolise perseverance and hope, as well as, beauty thriving in adverse circumstances.

The way this flower's meaning is so matched with Malleus' character is so precious. We know he's "the herald of spring" because his birth brought forth a hope that the Draconias(or the faes in general) won't die out just yet (the ending of winter) and the fact that this flower blooms even in winter probably symbolizes the fact that when he was an egg, he was still perservering to live. This also applies to his life as he grows up. With the way even if his life is riddled with loneliness and exclusion, he makes an effort to go out and adjust himself with others, he doesn't give up even if his reality consistently places him in situation where his goals can never be achieved (that is, him being accepted socially and him being ignorant of human culture but still makes an effort to understand it), he just continues to be hopeful that someone/ some place will invite him, therefore his ability to thrive in adverse circumstances.

The way he slowly rises in this card makes me feel like it symbolizes how slow paced Malleus is "in going out/getting used to outside of his comfort zone", actually lol. He described his admission to NRC as him being nervous because its an unknown place but still hopeful for the experiences that he might get(acccording to the vignette of his GloMas SSR), just like him here rising from the snow and the way he lifts the veil which makes me think he wants to see the world outside of his country's point of view with his own eyes.

Japanese tradition holds that the Plum (or ‘ume’) is celebrated as a protective charm against evil, so the ume is traditionally planted in the northeast of the garden, the direction from which evil is believed to come.

I also read this symbolism which makes me tear up lmaooo 😭Because we know in Book 7, Briarland was invaded from northeast where the Silver Owls originated from 💀 The fact that the plum blossom is a protection flower and he's surrounded with it in this card makes me think that it symbolizes how protected he was during Briarland's era 😭and another thing to dissect from his slow rise from the snow with the fact the plum blossom signifies protection is probably the fact that he took so long to hatch despite many people caring for him.

Side note that in Malleus Bloom Birthday Groovy, it implied that he was born in daytime during a snowfall, and he was happy experiencing the winter, just like in this New Years card where he's smiling against the heavy snowfall 🥹

In Japan, plum blossoms symbolize good fortune, an auspicious flower, along with pine and bamboo, and the arrival of early spring. They are often used as the design for New Year’s greeting cards and other celebratory occasions. (And maybe this is just the likely reason why this flower is here in Malleus' card and I'm overthinking it above lol

Next thing I want to mention is his clothes, that attire reminds me of the formal outfit of a Japanese Emperor (From what I searched, its called sokutai, but what Malleus wears is much more simpler I guess, its a outfit derived from it which is called ikan.) This post is a great overview about these two outfits.

Ikan is the work clothes of nobles and government officials in the Imperial Court after the Heian period. Sokutai is a formal costume for those from the Emperor to the court nobles in and after Heian period (Heian costume). Ikan is called 'tonoi (nighttime) costume', whereas sokutai is called 'hino (daytime) costume'. (which probably references the fact that he's a night fae)

The point is, what Malleus wears in this card is a very traditional garment that only high ranking Japanese officials can wear. But what he wears isn't the clothes of an emperor yet, but just for a high ranking official, which is accurate to his status that he's still a crown prince not yet the king, because only Maleficia truly rules Briar Valley right now.

I love the decision that they made him wear such a prestigious outfit because the story of the New Years event is the characters working on customer service lol Its like his clothes is a reminder that he is still highly distinguished even if temporarily he's a worker.

Lastly the VEIL !!!!!! That's the thing that catched my eyes the most in this card lol I KNOW they're not referencing a wedding here because the veil don't look the same, but its so good not to mention that the one of the headress of a Japanese bride is called tsunokakushi and its description can be related with Malleus a lot lol.

The term is a compound of 角 (tsuno, "horn") + 隠し (kakushi, "hiding"). This derivation is listed in some sources as a reference to hiding a bride's "horns" of anger, jealousy, or other negative qualities, in order to present a more virtuous image for the wedding. However, this interpretation might be a folk etymology resulting from a shift in the reading and meaning.

The headdress and the veil aren't the same thing but I kinda feel like this is the idea they're going for considering the veil is 1) hiding his horns, 2) he's a character associated with being jealous, and most importantly, 3) only the person he is looking at can see his face (which is the point of most wedding veils/headdress, to hide the bride's face so that only her partner can see it).

But long veils, like the one Malleus is holding is also just a garment for a noble to hide their nobility. Which is this is probably the likely reason, considering he's using that veil to cover up his horns and his clothes, the most obvious features of his status.

Also, it could be just a fun reference to the fact that Maleficent in live action wore a long veil to hide her horns so that she wouldn't scare the humans lol

[achilles-rage]

achilles-rage’s twelve days of christmas

day twelve: have yourself a merry little christmas (ft. evan buckley)

summary: spending christmas eve with your boyfriend, evan buckley.

word count: 1.6k

series masterlist

a/n: so sorry this is late, my grandparents just got here for christmas and i’ve been spending time with them!! and if i’m not online tomorrow, merry christmas!! i love and appreciate you guys so much, you have no idea!! enjoy<3

warnings: none, no use of y/n, fem!reader, plus size!reader, race inclusive!reader

Despite all the disorder and chaos the holidays bring, Buck loves everything about it. He’s often stressed about finding the perfect gifts for his loved ones, but the pure, unfiltered joy it brings him to see his friends and family happy always makes him completely forget about the hunt to find said gifts.

Coming home from work on Christmas Eve this year, however, felt off. His heart felt warm as he left work; feeling the brisk December air, seeing the multicoloured lights, and watching those around him frantically searching for last minute gifts and turkey dinner ingredients. He was only pulled back to his own Christmas Eve when he got to his apartment, remembering that you’re working late tonight, and he won’t be able to spend the night with you.

His face lights up, however, when he opens the door to Christmas music playing, and you standing in the kitchen in an apron, rather than a dark, empty house.

“Merry Christmas Eve, baby.” you say in a sickly-sweet voice, looking up from your mixing bowl to give him a wide grin.

He drops his bag and crosses the apartment to give you a kiss, unable to say anything as he wraps his head around the fact that you’re right here. He could already see his night in his head; all of his friends were spending the nights with their own families, so he’d be sat on the couch, all alone, wishing you were beside him in your matching Christmas pajamas.

“I thought you had to work?” he says when he pulls back from the kiss, one hand finding its home on your hip. 

You drop the spatula in your hand and raise your shoulders, giving him a cheeky smile. 

“I may have wanted to surprise you. My boss told me I could go home early, so I figured I’d keep it a surprise. I thought we could-” you explain, but you’re cut off by his lips on yours again, his shirt most definitely getting covered in flour and sugar as he presses his body against yours.

His kiss is slow and passionate, and it makes your head spin as his cologne invades your every sense. You haphazardly raise your hands to his wrists in a desperate attempt to ground yourself as he holds your face in his hands, and the stubble that scratches along your chin and your cheeks makes you shiver.

“This is the best surprise ever.” he murmurs as he pulls back, looking down at you with a dazed smile. 

He then looks down at the cookie dough on the counter, and smirks as he dips a finger into the bowl and raises a glob of it to his lips. You roll your eyes with a soft laugh, then push him away and take the mixing bowl back into your arm to keep him away from it.

“Hey, stop that! These are for dinner tomorrow.” you tell him sternly, although the smile threatening to make its way onto your face betrays you. You’re going over to Athena and Bobby’s tomorrow for Christmas, and you desperately want to make sure you don’t run out of sweets.

“I don’t think anyone will mind if we’re one cookie short.” he tries to reason, taking a step forward. You step away again, a quiet giggle escaping your lips as he lunges at you and wraps his arms around your plush middle.

“What about 10 cookies short? I know you; you always eat them when they come out of the oven.” you argue, raising your shoulders to protect your neck as he drops his head and begins to press sloppy kisses to your neck, his stubble tickling your skin.

“Quality check.” he mumbles against your skin, and you laugh again, trying to squirm out of his grip.

“Buck, I’m serious.” you get out through breathless laughs, feeling your heart rate increase at the feeling of being wrapped in your boyfriend’s arms.

“And I’m in love with you.” he purrs, pressing one last kiss to your neck before pulling away reluctantly. He looks at the big smile and your face, and his chest swells with pride. He loves being able to make you a giggling and flustered mess with just a few kisses.

“And I love you. Now, please, can you get started on dinner while I finish these?” you ask him sweetly as the oven dings to signal it’s reached the right temperature.

“You’re no fun.” he teases, but complies, making his way to the fridge to pull out ingredients for dinner.

“Hey, I came home from work early for you. And, I bought more cocoa powder at the store so we can make homemade hot chocolate and drink it while we watch Christmas movies in our matching Christmas pajamas, which I also bought for us.” you argue in a teasing tone, narrowing your eyes at him. 

He beams over his shoulder at you, and he has to resist the urge to pull you into him again at the thought of spending Christmas Eve with you on the couch, wrapped in each other’s arms with no worries or stress.

“You’re the best.” he tells you with a wink, balancing the food in his arms before dropping it on the kitchen counter.

“Damn right, I am.” you tell him with a smirk.

You both continue to work around each other in the kitchen, falling into a comfortable silence as the soft hum of the Christmas music envelopes you. 

When the cookies are done and cooling on the counter, and your bellies are full from the dinner Buck had made, you go upstairs to change into your pajamas. While Buck’s consist of pajama pants and a t-shirt, yours are shorts with the same pattern, and a long sleeve shirt.

You sit on the counter as Buck makes the hot chocolate, swinging your legs absentmindedly as you talk about your days, and the plan for tomorrow. You sit close enough to the stove that Buck can keep a hand on you when he’s stirring the hot chocolate, at his insistence, of course, letting him run his fingers over the soft flesh of your thighs.

Every now and then, you pull him towards you, distracting him momentarily with a kiss as you wrap your legs around his waist. He melts into the kiss each time, the task at hand slipping his mind as he gets wrapped up in you, but he always pulls away before the hot chocolate burns, and you’re not sure how it hasn’t burnt already.

You bring your hot mugs to the couch once it’s ready, and curl up under lots of blankets, sides pressed together as you rest your head on his shoulder and he extends his arm behind you on the couch. 

“What movie should we watch?” Buck asks as he turns on the TV, beginning to scroll through movies.

“How about It’s a Wonderful Life?” you ask, eyes following the flipping of movie titles passing on screen.

“What?” he says, brows furrowing as he looks down at you. Your brows furrow as well, and you look up at him quizzically, eyes searching his face.

“You’ve never seen It’s a Wonderful Life?” you ask in disbelief, letting your jaw drop as he shakes his head.

“No? Was I supposed to?” You sit up straight, hot chocolate in hand threatening to spill over the edge of the mug as you stare at him, completely dumbfounded.

“It’s a classic, I used to watch it every year growing up. What kind of movies did you watch as a kid?” you ask, turning your body completely to face him. He shrugs sheepishly, then looks down at his lap, feeling a little embarrassed.

“We never really celebrated Christmas much. I mean, there were presents and stuff, but there were never any traditions or anything. My parents got even more upset and distant around holidays, which makes sense now, I guess. But at the time, I just didn’t really see the point in celebrating Christmas if all it did was make my parents sad.” Your eyes soften at his words, and you feel a pang in your chest as you picture a little baby Buck wondering why his house seems to be the only one not filled with joy and laughter.

“Oh, baby. I’m sorry.” you whisper, a frown on your face. You move your fingers up to his chin and force his face back up, ducking your head a little until his eyes are back on yours. “We should make some new traditions, give you a real, happy Christmas.”

“Like homemade hot chocolate?” he replies, a small smile coming back onto his face. It’s true, his Christmases were never great, but now, with you, he’s extremely excited about the holidays.

“Yeah, and Christmas movies in matching pajamas.” you reply with a smile, leaning in to kiss him softly.

He hums as he kisses you back, and when your hand comes up to rest on his cheek, he lets out a content sigh. This has got to be the best Christmas ever. He has everything he could ever wish for right here in front of him.

“Sounds perfect. As long as it’s with you.” he tells you sincerely when you both pull away. 

You feel heat rise to your cheeks at his words, and you bite your lip, as you stare into his eyes, entranced.

“Merry Christmas.” you whisper, then move to face the TV again, settling against him.

“Merry Christmas.” he replies, pressing a kiss to the top of your head before resting his head on top of yours and clicking play on the movie.

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[eggyrocks]

EGGNOG & MISTLETOE

happy holidays @nowoyas i’m your secret santa and this is for you <3 part of the hq x reader secret santa organized by @lale-txt

tags/warnings: nishinoya x gn reader, holiday party, mentions of alcohol, jealousy

word count: 1.1k

Nishinoya’s stomach is churning. He keeps telling himself it’s because of the rum-spiked eggnog Tanaka insisted he drink, and not because of the way you’re looking at Kuroo Tetsuro.

He came to this party for you, put on this itchy holiday sweater for you, and he’s really trying not to be upset over the fact that he’s not here with you. That instead of you staying glued to his side all night, you’re smiling eagerly as Kuroo regales you with tales of his fancy office job, or whatever.

And really, he knows that he shouldn’t be this jealous. He couldn’t even recall the last time you’d seen Kuroo, and it’s not like you ever talk about him, so he shouldn’t have anything to worry about, if he’s been honest with himself. But it just irks him, seeing you smile at someone else like that. It should be him. That’s really all Nishinoya is able to think about as he watches the scene play out before him.

It should be him.

It gets too hot there, standing there with his spiked eggnog and his stuffy red sweater. And then, Nishinoya has to watch as you giggle at something Kuroo says, and it becomes too much. He suddenly, very desperately needs some air. He deposits the half-full cup of eggnog in the trash and makes his way towards the back of the house, sneaking out the backdoor.

What Nishinoya doesn’t see though, is how your eyes follow him. The second he breaks away from the crowd, your eyes follow him, and Kuroo becomes an after-thought.

Nishinoya opens and closes the door behind him and takes a seat on the step. It’s cold, but he appreciates it. His face is red, and his thoughts are spinning. He tries to calm them, attempting to conjure up images of anything other than you and Kuroo. But it’s not working; he squeezes his eyes shut and sees yours squinted up in a delighted smile at Kuroo’s words.

He groans. He knows he doesn’t have a right to be jealous. He knows you can talk to Kuroo all you want. Despite his wishes, you’re not his, so there’s nothing he can really say. And it sort of just feels like shit, for him.

Nishinoya’s in the middle of these agonized thoughts when the door opens and closes behind him once again. His head turns to see you, and his mouth pops open slightly in surprise. “What are you doing out here?” he asks, watching as you take a seat beside him.

You sit, the side of your thigh brushing against his. “Saw you coming out here, figured I’d join you. Why are you out here?”  

He shrugs. “I just needed a breather, I guess,” he admits. And it’s true. Thirty more seconds of witnessing the scene before him and he might’ve snapped, intervened when he shouldn’t’ve.

“That doesn’t sound like you,” you remark, and he has to agree. Normally he’d be chugging that god-awful eggnog along with Tanaka and signing along horribly to some old Christmas song. Of course you’d notice. “Everything alright?”

“Yeah,” Nishinoya says. “Just thinking. It’s hot in there, so the cold’s nice.”

“Hmm,” you muse, rubbing your hands together. Nishinoya watches them, and thinks they might be cold. He has this impulse to grab them and hold them in his own. “I missed you. I feel like I haven’t gotten to see you all night.”

His heart thumps a bit harder at this. “Yeah, I know. Kuroo’s hogging you, the dick.”

You snort, and you drop your head down to rest it on his shoulder. And Nishinoya takes this a sign. He reaches over, and places one of his hands on top of yours. They’re cold to the touch, and he hopes you’ll appreciate the warmth. You guys are close, he figures, it won’t seem so out of place.

“Well, you know,” you say, eyes dropping to your hands, “I’d much rather be spending my time with you, anyways.”

And at once, Nishinoya’s mood spins around, and he suddenly can’t help but puff up his chest a bit in pride. “Really?” he questions.

“Of course,” you say, pulling away your head to look him in the eye. “There’s no one else I’d rather spend my time with.”

And Nishinoya hears you, but all he can focus on is how close you are. His eyes scan over the details of your face, from the curve of your mouth to the way your eyes sparkle in the light that emits from the house. And he’s always known that he’s loved you, but he really feels it then. He feels it with his whole chest. He loves you, and he wants to kiss you. He wants it more than anything.

“Yeah,” he says, though it feels awkward coming out of his mouth. His throat feels dry, all of the sudden. “I feel the same.”

There’s a slight smile on your face that makes Nishinoya feel like there’s something erupting inside of him. He wants to kiss you. He thinks he’s going to kiss you.

And then, the door slams open behind the two of you. Nishinoya jumps.

Tanaka is standing there, body language sloppy and leaning against the door frame. “Oh, there you two are,” he slurs, obviously drunk off of his own creation. He holds up on hand, and Nishinoya’s gut drops at the sight of a bundle of mistletoe pinched between his fingers. “Been looking for you everywhere, now you gotta kiss.”

Nishinoya reaches out and swats at his shins. “Man, fuck off,” he says, though there’s no bite in his voice.

“No,” Tanaka insists. “You guys gotta kiss, those are the rules.”

You tug at Nishinoya’s hand, and he turns his head back to look at you. You lean in, and place a soft, warm kiss on his cheek. It lingers there for a second, and Nishinoya can’t help when both his jaw drops. He thinks his chest might burst.

You pull away and smile at him, before turning to Tanaka. “There, you happy?”

“Mistletoe rules have been satisfied. Now come back in, we’re doing karaoke, and I need my duet partner, man.”

Nishinoya groans, but you stand, encouraging him to follow by interlocking your fingers with him and tugging him to his feet. “C’mon,” you tell him with a soft smile, “we can talk more later.”

He follows, and delights in the way you never let go of his hand in the process. Nishinoya stares at your interlocked hands, and grins.

And later in the night, after his duet with Tanaka and several more drinks of that horrible eggnog, he finds a confused Kuroo, and proudly declares that he won.

happy holidays y'all <3

[voidpacifist]

viktor headcanons

[modern-ish edition + meljayvik because I cannot resist, also I'm desperate to see more unhinged little ideas about him outside of being everyone's favorite blorbo. we should fear that man and this is my thesis]

learned a weird amalgamation of martial arts and self defense as a kid due to growing up in zaun. despite being in what was considered the "safer" part of the underground, his mother worried he wouldn't be safe on his own. his core strength and arm strength are absolutely ridiculous

in fact, one time he was hooking up with a fellow academy student, and by the time the whole affair was over with, he was hardly breaking a sweat while the other person was trying to catch their breath. he became somewhat of a local legend at frat parties because not only can he wear someone out for hours but, allegedly, he's real freaky with it too

knows the exact monetary value of different human body organs on the black market. whether or not this is from experience is something jayce and mel are unable to determine. vi is also knowledgeable of this and has traded tragic backstories with him in detail

has had to kill a man before, and tells this to jayce frequently to win petty arguments (jayce never actually believes him, even though it is fully and one hundred percent true). it doesn't work on mel

jayce and mel have a secret chart written of how many substances viktor has tried and with how much frequency. weed is at the top of the list, with alcohol being shockingly low. in spite of coming from a slavic background, viktor didn't learn how to hold very much liquor without feeling ill, but for some reason is fine with the illicit psychedelics that grow naturally in the undercity near the runoff tunnels. so far the list is nearly half a page long

will not hit anyone with his mobility aids but will ABSOLUTELY find ways to blackmail and hustle his way out of embarrassment. he learned the blackmailing skill from mel, and frequently looks to her for information since she somehow knows the most about the student body

extremely morbid sense of humor. jokes about being fatherless/motherless behavior and then hits you with, "I would know :]." mel is an honorary member of the motherless behavior banter, considering her own mother disowned her shortly before she came to piltover

taking care of one another is equal parts give and take with him, jayce, and mel, but it's never in a way that demeans each other or exploits each other's weaknesses. for example, viktor hates being carried or manhandled without consent and finds it incredibly patronizing if someone assumes he needs help without just asking him (common sense, but the student body is full of ableist sharks). if he's having a bad pain day or is finding it hard to move, he and jayce (or he and mel, depending on time and place) have a system for getting him to or from somewhere without drawing much attention and even have specific "I need help but don't want to be stared at about it" phrases

father's half of the family is slavic and mother's half of the family is romani. cannot follow a recipe unless it has specific measurements, but can improvise ANY stew or potato based dish with little more than his nose and a few kitchen tools. jayce can improvise any dish, but will always somehow overdo the spice if it calls for spice. mel is happy to try any and everything they make (on her birthday, she's spoiled with their attempts at making the ethnic food from her family, and she'll never tell them but she's very touched by their efforts)

owned ONE pet in his life and it was a hamster. instead of freaking out over it's death, he studied it's body post mortem until his father declared it a biohazard and forced him to dispose of it

learned most of his chemists knowledge from a disgraced former academy professor, but taught himself everything else he knows (if he couldn't get access to it in school). including, for fun, how to preserve and analyze body parts. he initially wanted to be a surgeon or biomedical engineer, but then stuck with chemistry (specifically regarding infectious diseases) to try and find a cure for the grey

shows up randomly at jayces or mels dorms at strange hours in the evening/morning. the first time he showed up at mel's, she thought a burglary was being attempted. he made it out with a bad knock to the head, but she did make him tea in the aftermath as an apology (he hated it but drank the whole thing anyway)

gets stoned with jinx on the weekends, since she's the only one who can find him good, ethically sourced weed. he pays her back by teaching her things he's learning and researching at the academy

meljayvik + caitvi + timebomb dates but they have to find a way to rent out the whole place because each and every one of them has Some Kind of History with the other academy students even though jinx and ekko are still a couple years shy of college age

viktor threw up at the distinguished innovators competition because jayce did first. it was a whole disaster. they spent hours after the ordeal hyping each other up on gatorade and pure adrenaline. it was the physically worst jayce has ever felt around viktor but far from the worst viktor has ever felt around jayce. this was just days after the two of them met mel, and she spent the rest of the evening forcing them to sleep or eat something that wasn't "pure chemicals." somehow, this ended in a heated debate between herself and viktor about the validity of gatorade as a substantial meal. he still refuses to admit he lost

I've said this before and I'll say it again: he has a closet full of ramen. mel takes from his stash often

can run on caffeine and very little sleep to the point where he is physically incapable of resting like a normal human being without feeling drained. flu season is absolute hell

showed up to one of his lectures shirtless once because he was in a hurry. fed everyone who looked at him funny the most outrageous sob story about how "weak" he was, then laughed about it with mel and jayce like an absolute sociopath for days about it. jayce did not find it altogether very funny. mel and him still joke about it

beat vi in an arm wrestling contest before he got sick. still almost beat her after his diagnosis too, but still took the betting money anyway. she'll never admit she's slightly terrified of him, but it shows

can wield many different kinds of knives but is terribly clumsy when it comes to other weapons like clubs and swords and staffs. tapped out of adaptive sports within his first week because it was "boring him." spent the next month teaching martial arts to his fellow disabled peers until the board made it an official extracurricular

turned sky down in the nicest but most insane way possible. nobody knows what happened or how, just that they ended up spending MORE time together after the fact and that it involved illicit activities. the rumors were insufferable for weeks. and wildly funny

(please feel free to add more, I'm gonna start a collection)

[bwat5-blog]

The Commander: Part One

**Spoilers For All of Arcane**

Thankfully, despite being perhaps the least understood and appreciated character arc in modern media, the amount of incredible material being sent into the ether defending/explaining Caitlyn Kiramman's arc for season two has become truly inspiring. In fact, it was two statements I saw being echoed across the fandom that drove me to the point I was willing to emerge from lurkerdom, and start engaging with all of you wonderful people.

"Vi was the Jinx"

"Ku Klux Kiramman"

Now any of you who have kept up with my writing know that the first one is just about aneurysm inducing to me. And as such, I have written quite a bit about it. But the second one is no less idiotic, and while I have written multiple shorter pieces addressing various aspects of her character. It is on this subject I return to you tonight, hoping to put together a more complete picture of my thoughts on her story, and continue to support the recognition of the humanity, and heroism of Caitlyn Kiramman.

Before we begin, there will perhaps be someone who reads this, who has filed the story of Caitlyn Kiramman away under the heading of "ACAB", or "Facist" in their own mind, and chosen to turn away from what lies below the surface this tale. If that is you, welcome. I would encourage you to read ahead with an open mind and heart, and to see the humanity that lies in all of us reflected in this story both good and bad. For as Desmond Tutu once said "My humanity is bound up in yours, for we can only be human together"

______________________________________________________________

The Lead Up:

At twenty-three years old, Caitlyn Kiramman's life has been altered in ways too vast to reckon with in only a matter of days. I have extensively detailed a series of events in another document specifically with the goal of showing who she is as the story develops. I will not do so again here, but below will list both the destabilizing events, and a basic rundown of who we have come to know, following this characters story.

Who She is-

Bright and curious/ we meet her as a happy and helpful young girl walking with Jayce in episode 1

Unwilling to turn on those she cares for/sitting out in the rain to speak to Jayce when her parents turned on him

Wants to protect her people/when Grayson asks what Kiramman is shooting for, we see her look out over the city

Dedicated Enforcer (believes in the system)/ When caught investigating the airship without permission, we learn she has done this before. And later that she has an ongoing investigation into the corruption of the undercity.

Open minded toward undercity/ Many examples. Kindness to large man who Vi keeps ruining when she finds him shot, she hugs Huck without reservation for saving Vi, verbally equates undercity and topsiders while caring for Vi, stands by testimony that Jinx alone was the reason for the attack even after her mother's death.

Brave and loyal/Engages Sevika immediately to save Vi's life, trades her rifle to save Vi, tries to trade her freedom for Vi's before she learns the Firelights are allies.

Destabilizing/Traumatizing events-

Survives Jinx's theft of gemstone in which six enforcers were killed.

Helps Vi escape Silco and his goons, they literally bring a building down.

First meeting with Jinx in person, attack of the firelights.

Taken by firelights, doesn't know if they are going to hurt them or not at first.

Almost killed by the sheriff after watching him shoot Ekko.

Survives Jinx's attack.

Abducted by Jinx from her childhood home, naked, while in the shower.

Bound and gagged with smiling mask at Jinx's tea party. Listens as Jinx tries to get Vi to kill her.

Has opportunity to stop Jinx, shows mercy at Vi's pleading.

Violently knocked out.

Helplessly watches Jinx fire the rocket that will kill her mother and 2 other councilors.

Summary: So, at twenty-three years of age, Caitlyn has lost her mother, been almost killed by the leader of the system of law and order she has believed in her entire life, been terrorized, abducted and nearly murdered multiple times by the same woman who killed her mother, who she possibly could have stopped. All in a matter of days. To help keep things in perspective, let's look at a few points using USA real life application.

She has only been legally allowed to drink for two years.

Based on the average, she has not even been able to drive for ten years.

Based on the average, she would graduated high school five years ago at most.

Based on the average for American college students she would be close to finishing her bachelors degree if she was in college.

Now, moving forward we are going to discuss both the grief and trauma she is experiencing. Those who have read my material have seen my stance regarding her grief. It is not different here so by all means skip ahead. It is only thanks to an insightful user who wrote an excellent post regarding her trauma recently that I realized I had been neglecting that point, so I will try to do it justice here. But we cannot move into her "down-fall" without a proper look at these two factors.

Grief-

" Zaunites live with fear of death constantly, Caitlyn loses one family member and gets to lose her mind"

" Not gonna feel bad for the oppressor when the oppressed finally hit back. #sorrynotsorry"

" So losing your mom justified becoming a war criminal?"

Folks, I've said it many times at this point and will continue to say it. Grief is not a contest. The way in which we perceive the world has to come through the filter of our beliefs and experiences. Now it can change, as we grow, and learn, and come to understand more about the wider world around us. But it's just how it works. Of course, if you grow up with death all around you, you are not going to react as strongly to the single death of a loved one. Not to say of course that you don't grieve or feel that loss, but it will be less jarring.

But for a moment, imagine you have never felt that pain. Never known the darkness of someone who used to occupy a place in your world being gone and there being nothing you can do. Oh, and for an added bonus, add the guilt of feeling like you could have saved them...

It does not erase the pain of the people of Zaun to validate that of Caitlyn. It does not deny the history of oppression and suffering of the Undercity to recognize and validate that after days of incredibly traumatizing violence, this young woman now has to reckon with her mother's violent death that she will always wonder if she could have stopped.

Trauma-

"I want to tear that laugh from her throat forever"...

"I understand now, how easy it is to hate them. One vicious act.."

*As I have stated in various posts mostly pertaining to Jinx, I am in no way a mental health professional of any kind. So anything I share is my effort at understanding through research and observation*

To begin, we need to remember how Caitlyn grew up. Wealthy, safe, and privileged. People are determined to use her upbringing to rob her suffering of any validity, but... why? Does the fact that she was raised in wealth rob her of the ability to suffer? to bleed? No, at the end of the day it means she has known a life without danger, hunger, pain and loss. And in only a matter of days, has had each of those things violently crash into her life with no way to stop it.

As I am operating from a complete layman's perspective, I am going to try and keep this simple:

Near Death Experiences- In a matter of days Caitlyn has for the first time in her life, been through a series of events that could easily have killed her. Speaking as someone who used to do a job that occasionally placed me in violent situations, and never as severe as what Caitlyn has been through, I can tell you the effects of each and everyone are quite real. According to a report from the Bureau of Justice Statistics in 2009, "Among all victims of violent crime, the two most widely experienced emotional symptoms were feeling worried or anxious (72%) and feeling angry (70%) for a month or more". A month of heightened anger and anxiety from a single violent incident. She has been through quite a bit more than that.

2. Abduction- Caitlyn was taken from the bathroom of her childhood home. She was naked when Jinx showed up, and at some point made to put on her Enforcer uniform and bound and gagged. By this time, Jinx has almost killed her several times, and killed many of her peers. And now she is here in Caitlyn's home, in a place where Caitlyn is vulnerable and all alone. Violating her sense of safety and security to the highest degree. An article from Sage Journals by David Alexander and Susan Klein lists "intrusive thoughts..hypervigilance..anger.. and depression" all as possible long term effects in victims of hostage taking and abductions, among many others. We can see all of these manifesting in Caitlyn, but to draw attention to Intrusive thoughts:

"I keep seeing three faces... but then there's Jinx... laughing.. I want to tear that laugh from her throat forever"

SEASON 2:

Okay.... that was a lot! I know, and I appreciate you if you are still here (yes even you hashtagger). But now that we have established a proper baseline and understanding of what occured in season one we can really dig into season 2 and everything this young woman goes through.

Before the attack on the memorial, it seems as though there is a chance of Caitlyn keeping her ahead above that dark water she feels rising. Even with all that has happened, she does not blame the Undercity at this time. She maintains her testimony that Jinx alone is responsible. She protests that innocents will be caught in the cross-fire when Salo wishes for war. What she could not know, is that Ambessa Medarda was already making moves to get the war she has been hoping for, and has her eyes on Caitlyn to do it.

The Memorial Attack-

The Memorial attack is the push. it is the thing needed to tip Caitlyn over the edge she had only barely been clinging to. She and Vi share a moment afterward in which Vi recognizes that this had been done for the sake of the spectacle, but Caitlyn is angry... on top of everything else she has been through, even a day to mourn her mother's passing has been tainted with violence. Her fellow enforcers lay dead all around them, as well as the bodies of their attackers mere feet from the watch statues of the deceased councilors.

And although she was not, it is entire reasonable to assume Caitlyn and Vi would assume Jinx's involvement in some way given all that happened. Caitlyn admits she is afraid... afraid that if she goes after Jinx without Vi, one of them will die. And the dominoes begin to fall as our characters are driven to betray their principles in the name of "justice"... As Caitlyn strides into the Council meeting, announcing she has claimed the role as the leader of her house, and will be leading a strike team into Zaun with 3 objectives.

Dismantle Shimmer

Apprehend Jinx

Neutralize any agents still loyal to Sico

All according to plan...

*** Sorry folks didn't intend to have to split this in two but time ran out on me. Hope to get part 2 up over the next day or so. Thanks for reading!****

[loganwalkerz]

Christmas day with the MacTavish Family.

Ghost gets invited by Soap who pleads with the luitenient to come knowing if he didn't that Simon would spend the Christmas day alone again.

Ghost who is hesitant to agree because he doesn't exactly want to barge into a family holiday without any of them meeting him before. Despite this Soap reassures him that the MacTavish know plenty bout Ghost and are very happy to welcome him.

So when they finally get the approval from Price to leave for the holidays they spend their first night in a hotel together on Christmas eve. Ghost hasn't really celebrated Christmas much before other than the time with Joseph so he's very..anxious.

He wouldn't call himself a grinch but Christmas brings bad memories up for Ghost, he already struggles with nightmares but they tend to get worse closer to Christmas.

But this time it's a little different, he's not alone in some run down hotel. He's with Soap. He's with someone he can trust. He's with family.

Ghost who lays in the bed whilst Soap reads out some traditional Christmas books that his mother always read to him on Christmas eve. A hand mindlessly running through Ghosts hair who is half awake relaxed in Soaps arms listening to him read.

Every so often Soap will check in on Ghost, a soft whisper asking if he's still comfy and Ghost grumbles in reply but snuggles closer. Enjoying the warmth his Johnny provides. Soap smiling in response giving a gentle kiss to Ghosts crown before continuing to read.

And when Ghost is fast asleep Soap finally places the book down and lays quietly at Ghosts side, holding him close before drifting off himself.

Christmas morning Soap takes the lead helping wake Ghost up, being gentle and slow. Soap and Ghost do their own mini gift exchange before getting in a car for the drive to the MacTavish house hold. Ghost wearing the Christmas jumper Soap knitted for him.

Once they arrive Ghost is standing behind Soap and holding his hand, trying to appear less intimidating. Not wanting anything to go off to a bad start. Soap has a big smile as the door opens revealing Soaps older sister who pulls him into a hug before beaming at Ghost. Introducing herself and her younger children.

Ghost settles in quickly, inside the living room where they are quite a few family members. Ghost is quick to pick up on the fact there's no signs of the mum or dad anywhere, not even in pictures on the wall. He doesn't bring it up especially since he can see how happy everyone is.

He gives a soft smile when Soaps nieces and Nephews come in and chat to him, they don't even question who he is. They just yap away. Just like how Soap does. It makes Ghost chuckle even if he didn't admit how adorable the lil family is.

The one taking lead of the cooking was Soaps younger sister who was chatting with her wife who was happy to give Ghost a gift too! Ghost had never felt so..loved before. He has always had Soap, who was his only family. And now he feels like he has others too.

Ghost even gets to talk with Soaps younger brother who seems more concentrated on the game he's playing, telling Ghost about the lore and the characters. He sits showing Ghost some TikToks too! Even if he seemed like a moody teenager he seemed happy to still chat with Ghost

Soap is sat with his oldest sister watching Ghost get to interact with the family, watching the bounce on Ghosts leg begin to stop as Ghost chats away.

His sister leaning to Soap

"You got a real nice guy this time.."

She says softly

Soap smiles a little nodding

"He's..different"

He explained

"Like genuinely this time. He's different."

He spoke, sounding lovesick

And this time his sister nods, smiling. Not the usual worried look or disappointment. This Ghost in her eyes seems like a genuinely good fellow for Soap. And that's all she could ask for

"I like him. I'm proud"

She ruffles Soaps mohawk before going into the kitchen to help out

And Soap smiles to himself, happy that his family has accepted Ghost and that Ghost accepted them. Staring at the little wrapped gift box under the tree, knowing he is more than happy to get onto one knee today. To push things to the next level. Just like he agreed with Ghost months ago. He is ready. This is what love is like.

[pigeonwhumps]

Secret Santa Snippet 2024

Secret Santa snippet for @kaiwewi! I hope you like it!

Prompt: A hero and a villain team up to confront a civilian who's writing an insane amount of fanfiction about them

918 words

"Well, hello there."

Civilian jumps at the voice in their ear. The seductive, sultry, melodical tone that fills the videos in the corner of their laptop screen.

They spin around.

Villain's lounging against the doorway, a smirk on his face.

"Am I interrupting something?"

Civilian swallows nervously. "No. No, nothing at all." As Villain shifts slightly, they slam a hand down on their laptop, abruptly remembering its contents. "Can I– can I help you with something?"

"Maybe. You're Civilian, correct?"

Civilian gulps, nods. Villain knows them by name. Why?

There's a low chuckle from someone behind him. Civilian flinches, then feels themself heat up at the absurdity of the reaction. It's just a laugh.

"Stop scaring the civilian, Villain." Hero sounds amused as they push their way past Villain, coming to stand by Civilian's window. Civilian doesn't miss how this covers both of their exits.

Them working together is near-unheard-of in public, but Civilian makes a mental note to include it in something later.

Hero smiles disarmingly.

"Hello, Civilian. How are you doing?"

Civilian swallows.

"Um. Hi. I'm fine."

"Good, good. You're panicking. Don't. We just want a quick word."

"Um. Okay. What about?" They want to deny their feelings but Hero will know. Empathic powers. It's the source of their emotions, all the confessions...

Hero's blinding smile drops into something much more serious, and Civilian's stomach plummets with it. Oh shit. Oh shit. What have they done?

"Your writing habits."

"More specifically, where they regard us." The 'us' is punctuated by a flash of white teeth.

Civilian tries to inch out of their seat, though they know there's no hope against Villain. Maybe they can get closer to Hero...

Villain places a hand down on the table beside them, blocking their exit, and just stares. Somehow, that's the most menacing thing he could do.

"It's just a hobby!" they burst out, babbling. "I just– I just like to write, I don't mean anything by it!"

Villain rolls his eyes and opens up the laptop, scrolling through the open tabs.

"Videos. More videos. Ooh look, a forum. And your *word document*. I wonder what you're writing now."

He bends over to look closer, humming. Civilian wants to sink into the floor. Better still, into the centre of the Earth and scrub this night from their memories entirely.

Hero crosses their arms.

"Villain. *Behave.*"

Villain sighs, but draws back, looking mutinous. In a dim corner of their mind, Civilian wonders what the arrangement was. Neither seems happy with it.

"I– I can stop. If you really want me to."

Villain opens their mouth, receives a glare from Hero, shuts it with a snap. Despite what they said, Civilian starts to make mental notes of all of this, all the minute body language and conversation between them, because this– this could really up the realism. Make everything in their writing so much more real. And it fits so well! They're so accurate!

"It's your private life," begins Hero, "and what you do with it is your own affair. Really, this shouldn't be any of our business, except people just have to keep showing us." A fact Civilian knew, and has never been sure what to think about, but one look at both faces and it's– it's definitely bad. "And wow. You write so much. So–"

"What do you see in us?"

Civilian stares. So does Hero, looking thrown. Civilian is suddenly, 100% certain that this wasn't part of the plan.

"Villain..."

Villain ignores them. "You're by far the most prolific writer. So why do you do it? What do you see? Besides the whole 'enemies-to-lovers' thing, which is ridiculous if that's your only reason, by the way, there's way better tropes out there."

Civilian swallows, throat dry. What do they say? The truth? A lie about it being a joke? Hero would probably see through that. What if their reasons aren't good enough, will Villain kill them? No, no, Hero wouldn't allow that. Would they?

"Stop looking like I'm the last thing you'll ever see and tell me."

Hero rolls their eyes. "I won't let him kill you. Melodramatic much."

Right. Right. No deaths. Not that Hero's words are very reassuring.

"You um. You're always fighting each other. And I mean, you're nemeses but Villain doesn't fight anyone else. You once waited three hours for Hero to turn up, just repelling everyone else with a forcefield, because you wanted a 'proper fight'. You send each other Valentine's Day gifts, and okay they're not what one might call traditional courting gifts, but still. Villain, whenever you're injured Hero avoids hitting that spot, even though it'd be an easy win, and Hero, you always go slow when Villain's ill. There's footage. And when was the last time you monologued for anyone but Hero, Villain? Your displays for everyone else are lackluster in comparison. You clearly enjoy each other's company at the very least. And I know that could all be platonic but just... it's fun to imagine... and..." Civilian trails off uncertainly as the tips of Hero's ears, the only thing visible under their mask, turn bright pink and they rush out of the room.

"Do not move one inch," growls Villain, not even ensuring Civilian will obey before running after Hero.

New writing ideas chase themselves around Civilian's mind, but only as an undercurrent now. Is this real. Is this really, actually, real?

They pinch themself. Ow.

And another thing.

How long is it going to be until Villain gets back?

[showerthoughtsofagoldengoose]

Revolutionary Girl Utena is still fresh on the mind and I’m trying to figure out the Nanami lays an egg episode. I think I get it a little.

Nanami laying an egg is a second instance of her femininity causing her to be equated to being like a farm animal, in this case a chicken rather than a cow. Another connection this episode has to the previous animal one is that it shows us her obsession with how she’s being perceived, however the animalistic quality (laying an egg) is a source of shame rather than a misguided source of pride (the cowbell).

The egg represents a lot of things.

first is the most literal interpretation- hormones kicking in. Eggs come from (I hate the way I’m phrasing this) something fertile. Fertility comes from hormones. So we could interpret this as a symbol mixing together several factors- “fertility” (your period?) and sexuality.

The part about sexuality mainly comes from a one off joke where Nanami asks her brother if he prefers boys or girls without realizing how that question sounds, and when she tells him she prefers girls he gets angry with her and spouts some homophobic bs at her, while she was most likely referring to the egg, whether the baby in it was a boy or a girl. This conversation feels very real, and makes me think the egg may represent latency.

Nanami knows there’s something “wrong” with her and when she tries to address it around her brother, he gets angry with her and she abandons (represses?) this aspect of herself only to come running back to it.

she loves her egg. That’s the thing. She takes good care of it and is happy to be around it. She always has. But she’s ashamed of the fact that it came from her. Laying eggs is not something a girl normally does, at least she doesn’t think so. She could have simply had her first period but I think it’s more than just that- like her burgeoning sexuality. While it is a part of her identity it’s something she feels the need to repress. When it is seen, potentially used by someone she doesn’t want (Sayonji, the three weird guys with glasses who idek what their deal is yet lmao) she is upset.

I think the egg being broken when she wakes up is a representation of some kind of hopelessness. As if she can’t accept herself in the end for that aspect of herself, all because of the pressures surrounding her and breaks down in the end.

I think it’s important to mention how eggs are mentioned frequently in the show- what with the world’s end chick in the egg speech we get in every single episode. Latency. I think it refers to latency.

and with the act of laying an egg, being forced to confront this latency, wanting it to be released but unable to truly act on it despite how valuable it is??

I feel like while the lesbian reading is pertinent given how oddly specific the homophobia scene is, like all things utena, lesbianism isn’t all there is to it. I also mentioned maturity, growing up, hormones, fertility, some implicitly mentioned, others explicit.

It will take a lot to break down this show and staring off with this episode, this strange strange ep? Maybe not the best idea! My head hurts lol.

idk why but I always found the nanami episodes to be kind of raw and emotional despite their surreal comedy. She’s obsessed with how others see her, relies on one other person extremely heavily for affection, someone she looks up to in a way that almost seems kind of immoral (incest), and is this oddly sensitive person despite her melodrama and over the top oujo sama personality.

I think it’s worth noting that she lacks much of a support system. Her closest friends are fake, when she is traumatized she tells no one about it and carries the burden of knowing that alone. Her concept of one person she thinks truly loves her is also later challenged. I wouldn’t even call her and the little boy close. Nanami is interesting in that she does have social leverage and fits the popular bitch stereotype/archetype but I would consider her lonely in that lack of having support. Thus her anxieties are worsened, her shame about herself is worsened. This and her immaturity and naiivete. She truly doesn’t understand how a lot of things work, and this is because she wasn’t taught them.

[fear-no-mort]

i cant get over the whole time in the real world rick just sat there watching over morty and when he woke up finally rick sounded SO happy the way he just yelled his name excitedly the second he woke up,,,

[starbuck]

keep stressing about the goats show tomorrow, but i just have to keep reminding myself that i already saw the best set of the tour (song-wise, anyway), so whatever they do tomorrow is just icing on the cake.

[lunarharp]

wip thing...

of my bg3 avatar hellebore. i also did some casual nude studies of my 3 characters which i'll put under a cut... rather unlike me after all. (so WARNING for abrupt non-sexual full Artistic nudity lol...,,,,) (< won't be making a habit of this)

they mean the world to me

[cinnabeat]

sometimes you read something and youre like why am i reading this what is the point and sometimes you read something and its like there is virtually no plot but i am simply reading to see this one guy completely fail at everything

[girl-bateman]

Exchange semester in the Netherlands???? Hello ???? Fall of 2024 ???? I got accepted ???

[izzy-b-hands]

Putting on last year's trans rigs stream from Drawfee before i have to get ready to go out with my mum and her bf today (bc i have the worst feeling in my gut he's gonna make that An Thing for me if given the chance today, aka whenever i eventually need the restroom while we're at Mystic)

[gregoftom]

good fucking food

[hobisexually]

long winded rant in the tags coming that’s partly about weight but in a very unfiltered sad way so if that triggers you do Not read on