#desmond would spoil children

[auroramoon-draws16]

Fuck it, crossover that shouldn’t exist time

Here’s another Assassin’s Creed crossover, but this time in Minecraft.

Yes, one already exists, but I need more.

This time, with Sbi (because I love them).

Lets say, that the whole Desmond getting isekai’d thing happens and he meets Kristen, the goddess of death and matriarch of Sbi. Maybe accidentally gets adopted as Kristen’s own little assassin, angel of death, son, which means our boi finally gets a supportive family, good for him.

If not that, then he opens a bar nearby while sbi sons are still kids and becomes a badass, bartender uncle who trains them/babysits them when Phil is out. Love that for him, mans gets a family and favored by a literal goddess of death, how fitting.

Bonus points if the other assassins show up and hang out at the bar, maybe start another Brotherhood if there’s a threat that pops up, who knows what that could be tho.

Bonus bonus points if Desmond gets to be a family with his ancestors, because they really needed that closure. And shenanigans. They also get to be the badass uncles.

Do what you will with this idea, because I sure as hell won’t.

[teecupangel]

*chants* CAPYBARA DESMOND MILES! CAPYBARA DESMOND MILES!

Look at that little face:

They would probably first see Desmond somewhere with a body of water.

For Ratonhnhaké:ton, it would be when he first sees Aquila. He would be walking back to the manor and find Desmond following him. He’s never seen a capybara before but it seemed friendly enough and had went on his hind legs, raising his front legs as if to ask for Ratonhnhaké:ton to pick him up. Ratonhnhaké:ton does and he brings him to Achilles who admits to not knowing what Desmond is, only that ‘it’ usually stays inside the wreckage of the Aquila. Faulkner would probably have more information so Achilles suggested that Ratonhnhaké:ton talk to him (but also to not get distracted by the ‘rodent’, cue Desmond glaring at him) but Faulkner only knows as much as Achilles as the ‘thing’ appeared one day and never left until he followed Ratonhnhaké:ton anyway. At least, Faulkner was able to tell Ratonhnhaké:ton what Desmond likes to eat. Desmond spends most of his time in the manor and served more as a companion to Achilles who always gives him something to eat whenever Ratonhnhaké:ton is gone.

For Ezio, Desmond would actually be a gift from Machiavelli. A strange gift with Machiavelli saying “He reminds me of you” which Ezio and Desmond still aren’t sure if it’s meant to be a complement or not. Regardless, Desmond becomes the unofficial mascot of the Italian Brotherhood and is super spoiled by the other recruits. Claudia also teases her brother that Desmond (and Ezio didn’t know why he named the animal Desmond, it just seemed right) is the only child that Ezio would accept officially. It’s all said in jest as Ezio has no idea if he has any illegitimate children running around. (Claudia doesn’t believe it, Ezio is more on the fence, Machiavelli says the only way Ezio wouldn’t have any unknown children is if he can’t have children at all). So Desmond is treated like the mentor’s child more than pet and everyone spoils on him. Then Leonardo meets him and… Desmond began to appear in Leonardo Da Vinci’s works and sketches.

Altaïr would meet Desmond during his travels to one of his mission. A small pond or lake that he stopped by to let the horse rest. Altaïr would find Desmond flopping around the bank and they would stare at each other for a moment before Altaïr would turn around to ignore him. Desmond would probably be offended and ‘run’ after him, his feet making wet squishy sounds against the ground. Desmond would grab hold of the reins of Altaïr’s horse or maybe his robes and wouldn’t let go. Altaïr has no time to deal with this kind of tomfoolery but he couldn’t just kill this creature since it wasn’t dangerous. Annoying, sure. But innocent nonetheless. ……… and that is how… Altaïr finally manages to turn Malik speechless when he brings the creature with him to the bureau, letting the creature rest in his arms. Oh. And the creature waved at Malik and Malik was simply too confused that he instinctively waved back.

[briefhottubcoffee]

Hello! This is the very first story I have ever put out into the world! I am very nervous and have ~social anxiety~ so please be kind!

This story came to me looking at all the stuff my friend with kids has on her fridge and I thought it would be perfect for the Forgers. My husband helped me brainstorm ideas so it may be multi-chapter. I’m waiting to make an AO3 account. Again I’ve never done this before lol. Apologies if formatting is weird, I only use tumblr on mobile.

Refrigerator Magnets

Loid is grocery shopping with his daughter one Thursday evening, the sky cloudy and gray. He’s so tired. He was assigned two extra side missions this week, dull and mind numbing, but then a patient at the hospital actually did kick him in the stomach! It wasn't just an excuse! Leaving a bruise and a slight wince to appear on his face occasionally when he inhaled. But they needed groceries for this weekend and Anya was still bustling with energy when she came home from school, Yor working late. So out he went, robotically putting ingredients in the cart and leaning his body on it far more than he usually did. Anya was skipping beside the cart, humming a tune, the exact opposite of her father. He could never get on her level.

And then she spotted them, hanging from an endcap as Loid browsed the juices, a package of refrigerator magnets, different colorful animals.

“Papa!” Look! This looks just like Agent Penguinman! And this one is like the lion I saw at the zoo!”

He reaches for the pack, handing them to her for a closer look. She coos at them before putting a cute, purposeful look on her face, flipping the package and standing on her toes for him to see.

“Neat,” he says mildly, gesturing for her to throw them in the cart, and letting her help him steer. He grabs his ingredients and her favorite candy bar before heading to the front. I am a normal, tired father, he thinks, apologetically smiling at the cashier as Anya, pushing the cart she can’t even see over, lightly crashes into the corner of the register.

******

Another Thursday evening, this one a little brighter with Yor’s pretty smile directed at him and the refrigerator magnets bringing some color to their kitchen. She’s helping him start dinner, when the front door bangs open and Bond shoots up from his nap. “Anya has returned!” their daughter shouts, grabbing for her dog.

“Welcome home, Anya. How was your day?” Yor asks, taking her hat from her head.

“Oh! Guess what?” Anya says. She unzips her backpack and rummages through before pulling out a rose pink envelope. “Anya was invited to a birthday party!” She lifts the invitation high above her head, before Loid grabs it.

“Oh? I’m glad you're making more friends.” An excellent source of information for Operation Strix. The parents of this child might be important in Ostania. It might be crucial for her to attend.

“Well, Hannah isn’t really Anya’s friend. She took the last cookie in the cafeteria,” Anya pouts.

“Well… she invited you to her party.”

“She invited the whole class,” Anya shrugs. “But can we go Papa? Can we? I’ll be nice to Hannah! She said there would be ponies! Ponies that we could ride?! And a big slide and an orch-ee-stra, and a magician!”

“My goodness! What an elaborate birthday party!” Yor says, opening the card and marveling at the beautiful, ornate invitation inside, fit more for a formal wedding than a seven-year-olds birthday party. Loid blinks. He supposes this is the norm for rich, pompous people, to spoil their children with extravagant birthday parties and ponies. Anya’s attempts to befriend her more wealthy classmates have not gone particularly well, Damian Desmond in particular, which caused Loid intense stomach pains, but this party could indeed be a big opportunity for the mission. He could meet some upper-class parents, perhaps gather intel, and then, of course, since this girl invited the whole class, Damian Desmond himself might attend. Could his parents even show? His reclusive target? Surely not, but this is still a good chance to get another foot in the door with his young son, a chance for Anya to play nice outside of school, a positive step forward!

“Alright, we can go,” he says. “But you’ll need to get her a present.”

“Ooohh lets go to the Big Toy Store! I can get Hannah a Mega Elephant Circus!” Anya squeals, spreading her arms wide. Loid turns to watch Yor with her pretty smile tack the pricey, shimmery invitation on the fridge with the elephant magnet. This birthday party is going to be a big expense for Operation Strix.

****

The invitation stays on the fridge for weeks, a reminder of the upcoming party and ooting for the Forgers. Before the party, the family heads to the toy store, the huge, expensive toy store, with giant stuffed animals and a freaking merry-go-round in the center.

Anya and Yor spend time checking out all the toys, Anya pointing out all the ones she wants. Loid trails behind, tired again. They settle on getting Hannah a doll tea set, reasonably priced, but still, hopefully, expensive enough to satisfy a rich family. Loid then sits on a bench to rest, watching Anya bounce up and down beside Yor, both waiting to ride the merry-go-round. Yor is such a huge help at times like these. He’s grumpy and worn down. Side missions pile up, patients pile up, and he feels a gnawing frustration at his lack of progress with Operation Strix. Yor’s pretty smile and cheery disposition make up for his failures with their daughter. She can get on Anya’s level. She can match Anya’s excitement about riding on a merry-go-round. She can marvel at a giant stuffed kangaroo with her and come up with a silly name for both the mama and the baby in her pouch. She can crouch down and help Anya snap blocks together as they build a castle complete with a watch tower for Bondman. Present and engaged and sweet all the time.

Last night, Anya was fussy when it was time to go to bed, too wound up to be sleepy. She wailed at Loid as he helped her with her pajamas and tried to tug the covers over her, rolling around in bed instead and kicking her feet up on the wall. Loid felt impatient and drained as he sighed at her. This is impossible. Bedtime seemed like a straightforward task but was so draining in reality. He felt like he would never get this parenting cover right. Yor came in after hearing their bickering, and laughed softly, kneeling down next to Loid.

“Let’s try to hush a bit,” she calmly said to their daughter, smoothing her hair down. Loid watched as Yor pulled out a book and began reading to Anya, and what an idyllic picture they made. Yor’s voice came out in such a tranquil way, her eyes twinkling in the dark room. He couldn’t look away. She kept stroking Anya’s hair, her voice like a melody, her presence like a soothing light. Like a miracle, Anya yawned and her eyes became heavy, and Yor shot Loid a smug look and he felt like he was flying. She was magic. She could do the impossible.

In the present, Loid watches with a frown as the pair climb aboard, Anya tugging on her mothers arm and pointing to the two horses she wants to ride.

“Will the ponies at the party be green and pink like these?” he hears his daughter shout.

“I doubt it,” Yor replies with a giggle, helping the girl on to her horse. The music starts and the ride begins to spin, daughter and mother sending exuberant waves to Loid as they squeal with excitement. Loid feels pensive and melancholy. Cranky. I am no good at this, he thinks. Appearances are everything for a spy, and he supposes he is a good father at surface level, to the bystanders who see him wave to his wife and daughter each and every time they make their way around. But he feels lacking. Anya is a sweet girl and Yor is a lovable mother, he feels another painful kick of guilt at the thought of using them, deceiving them. They deserve the real thing, a matching father to complete their pretty picture, something perfect enough to tack on the fridge and admire everyday. Not someone playing pretend.

It’s what needs to be done, he thinks with finality. He centers his thoughts, reminds himself of the mission, of war, of the invitation on the refrigerator with its elephant magnet, of what this seven-year-old’s birthday party means for world peace. Pull yourself together. He has rich parents to schmooze with, he must appear charming and affable, he must ask all the right questions, not too probing, not too demanding. He has to appear engaged and interested. He has to fit in with the other good fathers. They will be charming and affable, they will laugh with joy at their kids, walk next to them with their hands on their backs as they ride ponies, they will wipe their faces when they're covered in icing. He has to remind his daughter to play nice with Damain Desmond, to be on her best behavior, to not eat too much cake.

He has to crush this child's birthday party. World peace depends on it.

****

The party is too much. It’s so extravagant and pink. There are balloons and peonies everywhere, the birthday girl sits on a gold chair in a pink tutu with a crown on her head. Loid sighs. Next to him, Yor frets with the pink gift bag she’s holding, her lips in a thin line and a crinkle between her brows.

Loid leans towards her. “Rich people,” he scoffs with an eye roll and Yor looks up at him and giggles, swats his arm.

“Hi Becky!” Anya shouts as she pelts across the perfect, giant lawn.

“Anya, don’t crash into anyone,” Loid warns looking around. He immediately hones in on his main target for the day, a young boy with dark hair and a pompous arrogance about him, surrounded by two other boys and glaring at Anya as she twirls around, showing Becky her dress. Loid thinks of a way to move his mission forward, a way for Damian to bring up the Forgers to his father, who is definitely not here, so that he is interested. Perhaps there is a servant or even the boy's mother present? Someone closer to the man in question. Loid and Yor are then approached by the mother of the girl of the hour. Hannah’s family are rich socialites, the father a bank executive.

It’s time to schmooze.

The shmoozing goes well, the birthday party is in full swing. There’s a damn violin quartet in the corner, and waiters dressed as princes and princesses serving hors d'oeuvres to the parents. Loid has gotten a little useful information to bring back to Wise; the fathers had retreated to the mansion shortly after the party began. Loid had joined them for a bit, engaging in a game of poker and listening to the men complain about their wives and their jobs, gathering intel in a room full of cigar smoke. But he grew tired of it.

I have to make sure she and Damian are getting on well, he justifies to himself as he ventures back out to the lawn. He is the only father out there. He sees Yor standing awkwardly with the other mothers and slides next to her, resting a hand lightly at her waist.

“What are you doing back here, Dr. Forger?” Hannah’s mother asks, surprised.

“Oh I wanted to check on Anya. And I missed my wife,” he replies with a charming smile and Yor stiffens and flushes as the other women aww at them.

Anya and Damian are not interacting, at least not in any friendly way. Loid watches as Damian shoves past Anya and Becky in line for the pony ride.

“Rude!” Shouts Becky as Anya sticks her tongue out at him. Well… their relationship hasn’t improved much.

Loid blinks. There are at least ten ponies and only one handler, he seems a little overwhelmed at the task at hand, monitoring young children on little ponies trotting in a circle.

“Is no one going to help?” Loid asks Hannah’s mother, gesturing towards the pony ride.

“Well the boys are busy inside,” she replies with a sniff. “He’s got it covered.” And that’s the end of that.

This isn’t going to go well, Loid thinks as he rushes over, just as Damian Desmond tries to climb on to a pony alone. His foot gets stuck in the saddle, and he falls over. Tears well in his eyes as the other kids laugh at him. All except Anya who walks over to him.

“Here you go!” Anya extends her hand to Damian. He frowns at her, a bright red blush on his cheeks. “I don’t need your help, dummy!’ He shouts in reply. Despite the kids reaction, Loid is proud of his daughter for being caring and kind, compassionate and warm. Yor is raising her well.

“I’ll help you up,” Loid says, picking up the boy and placing him on the horse. Damian looks at him suspiciously. “You’re shorties- I mean- you’re Anya’s pops right?” he asks.

“Yup! Horses can be a bit intimidating at first, but you’re up here now! Just hold on tight to the reins and you’ll do great,” He says. His mind is running a million miles an hour. Don’t overdo it, this may get back to Desmond, be kind and fatherly, I am a good dad, I am a normal dad.

Damian is still blushing but mutters his thanks. Loid realizes this kid is alone. No guardian for him, he must have attended with friends. The ponies begin their circle. Loid stays nearby and straightens up the kids as needed, teaches them how to tuck their shoes into the saddle, how to hold the reins correctly. The handler shoots him a grateful look. The mothers are looking at him curiously. Maybe he messed up. Maybe he should be inside with the other men. Maybe it’s not normal, but it didn’t seem right to him to be like the other fathers. The men smoke inside while the women gossip outside, helpers and nannies monitoring the kids. It was so detached. He had felt something unsettling in his gut, something he couldn’t ignore. Maybe he actually did want to check on his daughter, maybe he actually did miss his wife. She’s looking at him now, her pretty smile back. He feels like he’s flying again. Anya is laughing with joy on her pony, the sound like bells, waving at her father.

No good, this is no good. This isn’t going to go well. He tries to center himself, remind himself why he’s actually here. But he can’t. He’s going around in circles. He’s flying high.

****

They return home from the party, everyone exhausted. Anya is quick to settle for the night, he considers nights like these where she is actually tired a miracle indeed.

“Night, Papa,” Anya mutters, closing her eyes and snuggling with her chimera. Loid hums and smiles, affection rising in his stomach. Anya is a good kid. Disruptive and loud, but sweet and happy, reminding him of the good in the world.

Once she is tucked into bed, he sighs and settles on to the couch, petting his dog on the head. Yor’s quiet tonight. She shuffles around the kitchen making tea, he sees her take down the party invitation from the refrigerator and tuck it into a box they keep on a shelf. She hands him his tea and he shoots her a grateful smile, but she’s looking away, her lips in a tight line and her frown back between her brows.

“What’s up?” He asks, letting the steam from the tea settle on his face. She looks at him and blushes, his heart stutters in his chest.

She sits with her tea and shakes her head. They stay silent. He listens to his dog snoring softly and the clock tick, as he and his wife watch each other with their tea. It’s a good night. It was a good day. He spent time with his family, for the mission, he reminds himself. He feels calm and warm, his mind slow, helpless, thinking of the picture they make in this living room, an idyllic picture.

“You’re a good father,” she says finally. “One of the best, I think.”

She blushes pink and her eyes twinkle and her pretty smile is back and Oh. I am flying again.

[assassinschaoticcreed]

So I know in the modern au you said the boys would probably all be around their 20s but we know canonically some of them have kids - how would they react to finding out some of them are parents? Thanks!

so in my AUs none of them are in relationships or have kids, but for the fun of it, my noggin worked.

Desmond: he's shocked, scared, and doesn't want to be a part of the child's life AT FIRST. since he grew up in a messed up family/childhood I don't forsee him wanting a kid hes got that PTSD. but if he ever found someone he truly loved and they wanted kids he'd be down for 1 (maybe 2) I think the reason being that he'd have at least 1 would be because of the love from the auditores. gender doesn't matter to him. since he had no siblings or treated like a child by his parents he'd be the one that reads books on how to take care of them, good formula recommendations etc.

Ezio: He'd be shocked, but not at the same time since hes a womanizer. excited to show his child to his family. I HC that he wants 4 kids, just like his parents had and would prefer 2 boys and 2 girls. he had good loving parents so he'd be a good dad. since he helped his mom with his brother & sister when they were younger he has that natural nurturing care/love. knows what he's doing and doesn't read books.

Arno: he too is shocked, this man thinks he may faint. loves the child before he even saw it. I see him wanting 3 kids, he'd want 1 girl and 2 boys. his parents were also very loving & nurturing and since he was an only child he got attention to himself. he knows just the right amount of discipline & 'spoiled'. he does do a little reading up on certain things before the first child is born, and then after that he's like don't worry, I got this. he'd definitely be Mr. Mom lol

Connor: he DOES faint, went into shock but he's okay. excited and scared to be a dad, his tribe and parents adore this lil baby. another Mr. Mom lol I see him wanting 4 or 5 kids, and since his tribe was so close and he helped raise other small children he also knows what he's doing. another one that got the right amount of love and affection. doesn't read up on child care, but does read up on what's the most popular/best diapers, baby wipes etc.

Edward: another one is isn't fully surprised. he'd take one look at the mother of the child and say "who the hell are you lass?" then to the child "what's that?" your child. man goes into shock and can't speak the rest of the day. he will take responsibility but it'll take awhile to sink in hes a dad. I see him wanting kids a little later in life, maybe mid 30's he's still young and wants to do things in life before settling down with a family.

Jacob: "that's a baby, why's it here?" the mother of the child turns to Jacob "its your child" cue Jacob "YOU WERE PREGNANT? all I heard was you gained weight--" Jacob gets bitch slapped. "yeah okay, I did deserve that I shouldn't have said that." ever seen the hang over? with the baby wearing sunglasses in that carrier over his chest? that's Jacob as a dad.

Altaïr: "why is there a small human in your arms?" he asks the woman as he's staring directly into the baby's eyes, who's staring right back at him. "this is your child--" he's shocked and confused. another one who doesn't want to be in the child's life but it's out of worry, he doesn't want the child to be in danger. I'd say early 30's he'd be more comfortable with a child, but he's another one who needs to find a woman he truly loved before that, like the trust needs to be deep for him. but before that were to ever happen he'd want the Templar situation to be more in control.

[greatwyrmgold]

Manga has said nothing about Twilight's birth name or what he thinks of it. We're all speculating wildly depending on our own interpretations of Twilight's character.

Speaking of which, here's my wild speculation. I don't think it would be difficult for him to forget, or at least ignore, his birth name. You've seen the episode 1 flashback, right? The only thing left to the boy Twilight used to be is that name, connected to a man who officially died years ago.

Beyond that, Twilight is a master spy, specifically mastering the craft of sweeping away any trace of his personal identity and assuming another role. Through his inner narration, we can also see that Twilight is very good at self-deception. And, of course, there's the context of that aforementioned flashback. Twilight convinced himself that he disliked the sound of children crying because it was annoying for Endo knows how long.

If Twilight wanted to pretend that he was never the unnamed boy whose hometown was bombed in the war, he could do it. And all indications are that he wants to do it.

If I wasn't concerned about spoiling the manga, I could bring in some other details (especially from the flashback mini-arc) to support my thesis. But that's the general shape of it. Twilight is good at changing his identity, he's good at hiding things from himself, he wants to not be that crying child.

And beyond that...

Spy×Family is a story that prioritizes social bonds over blood. The fact that Twilight was born Lenny Fowler or whatever matters no more than the fact that he's not Anya's sperm donor. The fact that nobody remembers Lenny matters as much as the Desmond parents' neglect of Damian.

Loid Forger's family is Yor, and Anya, and maybe Yuri once he gets some more character development. Lenny is dead, buried, and forgotten; Loid is known and loved. He brings comfort to Anya, and to Yor, and even to Twilight (not that he'd admit it). If Twilight has a "true" self underneath his spy persona, it's more Loid than Lenny.

Saw a post somewhere about how Twilight doesn't want to remember his original name because he connects it to his past and he doesn't want to remember that past (yeah I may be anime only but I have a vague impression of what pain and horrors that past included) and so he never thinks of that name consciously

But like, how easy is it to not think of his birth name, the name his beloved mother called him by? I know he's Twilight™ and he's discipline personified but it would still need some work...

And now I'm building a theory that just like the aliases he's used up until now, his original name started with L or R (considering in Japanese there is no difference between how those two letters sound), practically brainwashing himself into mixing up his original name among his aliases so that it won't have any impact on him anymore.

(Again, anime only fan here, don't spoil me for the manga)

[principledpropo]

Does she… hate her children? Despise having to be involved in any way - does the action of simply discussing Damian piss this woman off?

Because if so, then god damn I love it, because we get to see the truly perfect antithesis to Loid and Yor.

The Forgers aren’t perfect, but the way they involve themselves in Anya’s life is beautiful. It’s warm and loving while teaching her to make and respect boundaries (that’s difficult for a telepath lmao), but their walls almost always come crashing down the second they find themselves alone in each other’s company. Loid may be strict and Yor may be a little too enthusiastic, but every action they take for Anya is for her sake, and every mistake they make is an experience they immediately learn from to better raise Anya.

The Desmonds aren’t physically abusive, nor do they scream nor degrade their kids. Both Desmond scions are clearly well-off, having wealth and service in spades. Everything they could ever want, at the snap of their fingers. Except their parent’s love and attention. Donovan sees his sons as tools to further his name and goals, while Melinda (and this is just conjecture) shows shades of a woman who never wanted children and is searching for ways to live and enjoy her life free of their burden.

(Little tangent, but people, women especially, shouldn’t be saddled with kids if they do not wish to. Their body, their choice, and no one should ever say otherwise. That being said, when the child is born, the parent has a lifelong responsibility to that child, and regret is no longer an option. I see so many parents who practically begged to have kids, but ended up resenting them, and in turn their kids grow and feel the same way to them. You can never let your children feel like they are a mistake. Never.)

To Donovan, his children are materials that can be shaped into weapons for his political gain and clout. To Melinda, (again, just a hunch), they are nuisances she can’t be bothered to deal with.

But Loid and Yor, who don’t share a single drop of blood with Anya? Who created and joined their family for self-protection? They can’t stop themselves - they shower Anya with love. They can’t spoil her with gifts like Becky and Damien get, but they never starve Anya of what matters most: their love, their time, and their energy. Anya is an esper - if she grew up with people like Desmonds, she’d know immediately she was unloved. Hell, she has! Returned to foster homes again and again. So it is beautiful that a girl who can read her parent’s anxieties and fears has never once heard them think she was a mistake (well other than that first episode with Loid lol). They have had every opportunity to grow resentful of Anya, but they never have. They think the world of her. Mr. “It’s for the mission” Twilight bends over backwards on a whim for his daughter. Yor “I won’t let my daughter die in school” Forger would commit war crimes if she even thought her precious child got a boo boo.

The Desmonds, at best, see their children as investments and at worst mistakes. But no matter what Anya does, good or bad, it doesn’t ever change their perspective of her.

She isn’t just a cover child to them. She’s their daughter, and they’d shake heaven and earth for her when the Desmonds can’t even be bothered to attend their son’s orientation day.

[mj-ackerman]

Tatsuya Endo's Character Commentary from the Official Spy x Family Fanbook English Translation Part 2:

Long post ahead. <<Part 1 here>>

Franky:

(Endo) The model for his character is Mozzie, who is next to the main character of the foreign drama "White Collar". The glasses are also exactly the same. He's a really good character who talks a lot of nonsense, but not a despicable one. It is rare to find a character with a model in "SPY x FAMILY".

This is Mozzie from White Collar, played by the actor Willie Garson.

The stripes on his socks are intended to make him look a little more fashionable, to give him a popular look.

He is well liked by the people from the underground. The tobacco shop is a sort of hideout for Franky, and if he's chased out of there, I think he's got another place and identity. His name "Franky" seems like not his real name too.

Sylvia Sherwood: 

(Endo) The cool big sister superior officer. Big sister...? Her design was inspired by the Paris Collection, or whatever fashion magazine I was looking at. Her glasses, curly hair, and the hat are all a bit too troublesome to draw...

She has the appearance of an independent woman, but in her private life, she is a very sloppy person. She lives in a very dirty room. I may draw that in an extra chapter soon. Her fighting ability is unknown, but it seems she's not that strong. 

Yuri Briar:

(Endo) His visual is exactly like Yor, a male version one. I thought about him having short hair, but it didn't feel right, so I decided to go with my current style. If he doesn't talk, I'm sure he'll be popular (with girls). I wonder if he's interested in anyone other than his sister? 

(Hayashi) I think he's interested in his job?

(Endo) Yuri is certainly a very hardworking and a serious person. He really wants to protect the peace of Ostania, and I think he truly believes that this is for the sake of his sister. After all, she is his sister. He doesn't seem to have any hobbies that involve spending money, and since his taste buds are spoiled, he doesn't seem to eat gourmet food either. 

He thinks Anya is a "despicable little brat". Compared to Franky, he's not used to children, so he competes with them in the same way.

Henry Henderson:

(Endo) Most of the characters are introduced only for a particular episode, but if I try to draw them and find them easy to move, I stick with them. I never thought that Henderson and Yor's boss, the shopkeeper, would play such an active role...

By the way, he's the only character who has a fanservice scene (the shower scene) in the work.

I liked the mismatched jersey he wore during the dodgeball round, so I'd like to have him do various cosplays as well. Like doing "Today's class is [redacted]", but I don't think there will be much demand for it.

Damian Desmond: 

(Endo) He's exactly like Domyoji from "花より団子 / Hana Yori Dango / Boys Over Flower" (by Yoko Kamio) (Laughs). In his first appearance, he was a jerk who boasted about his status, but he soon became a good boy. I wanted to make him a meaner character though.

This is Domyoji Tsukasa, the main lead of the romance series Hana Yori Dango or Boys Over Flower, a manga by Yoko Kamio

(Hayashi) Because Ewin and his friend are good guys, I think he's getting better hanging around with them. They're really good guys who are always there for Damian and give him the attention that he needs. Damian should be thankful to the both of them.

(Endo) In the future, there may or may not be a dark episode of "After all, humans only want money and power...." (Laughs)

Becky Blackbell:

(Endo) Like Damian, she started out as a tsun-tsun (tsundere), but she soon became friendly.... And she was able to get along with Anya in just one episode. She's very easy going.

She thinks people her age are "brats" and doesn't have many friends other than Anya. I would like to make at least 1 more person to be her friend. Her personality and design are probably based on Marika-chan from "愛してるぜベイベ★★ / I love you baby ★★" (Yoko Maki). She's precocious and cute.

Marika-chan from the manga series Aishiteruze Baby / I love you baby by Yoko Maki

Unrelated, but I kinda like her last name "Blackbell". I don't remember the reason why I gave it to her though.

Fiona Frost: 

(Endo) I really like "Nightfall's" design including her coat. The image color is "blue" in contrast to Yor. In terms of standing position, her character is to stir up the romance part of the story. I thought of it as a way to add variety to the story.

(Hayashi) There was quite a bit of talk about putting out a character on WISE's side as a friend during Twilight's meeting. I thought it would be nice to have at least one colleague for Twilight.

(Endo) The name "Nightfall"  means to "follow around after Twilight (evening)". Emile and Ewin start with "E" because they're following Damian "D". I know people might think that the names of the other characters also have meanings to them, but I actually just added them on a whin (Laughs)

Donovan Desmond: (I can't add his pic anymore)

(Endo) Since he's the last boss, I'm careful not to make him look like a dull character. With a face like this, I'm sure that Damian looks like his mother (Laughs)

He was a member of the ruling party during the war, but now he's a member of the opposition party, so I have an image of him hiding in the background.

(Hayashi) He's a character with a lot of secrets, but the goal is to get into his heart, so please pay attention to him in the future!

[quibbs126]

And here’s an actual themed collection of drawings, featuring the Bronev family

The first one is just a headcanon of mine that Rachel had just the meanest glare, and that Desmond inherited it. If anyone who’s been in Targent long enough sees that glare, they kind of immediately know that’s Rachel’s (and by extension Bronev’s) kid. Not sure I portrayed how intense the glare is supposed to be though

Anyways, after that I just decided to draw the Bronev family being cute

I don’t think I’m very good at drawing small children in proportion to adults, I probably need to improve on that

I drew them all in the outfits we see in the AL credits just because I like to imagine that’s their outdoor/adventure outfits, and that these would be taking place in that hypothetical pre-Targent Bronev family game, where these would be their outfits

Speaking of which, to be perfectly honest they could totally do that. I mean, so long as you don’t reference Hershel Layton or Descole too much, if someone hasn’t played Azran Legacy they could very well have no idea who these characters are, other than one of the kids looks like Professor Layton and the other is named Hershel like him, but I don’t think that’d immediately tip someone off, considering those are two separate facts. You could just as well assume these two are merely references to the character. And plus, because Professor Layton exists in a world without a set timeline like our own, you could easily assume that this “game” would be taking place in the 60s just like the rest of the games, despite it actually taking place in the late 20s or so, so you could just assume this is happening parallel. And because personally, I’d put this hypothetical game around a year before everything goes down, there wouldn’t really be any references that could spoil things for people, unless you just so happen to be playing Azran Legacy but haven’t finished when playing this game

Granted that’s all hypothetical talk, but at the same time I really would mind a puzzle game featuring a family like this, you could do a lot with the dynamics I think

But yeah anyways, hope you enjoy the drawings

[depressed-deranged-clown]

I took a while cause I was also working on another headcanon post of this (I will tag you when I do post it). But to answer your questions

Operation Strix & Yor and Loid

As we all know, the main goal for this is to get close to Donovan Desmond

Loid is incredibly smart but he also is more perceptive to feelings than in canon (because he’s a kid and also he can read minds)

He can easily pass every test and get straight 100s but he sees how much Yor struggles and in his head he wants them to be friends so he tries to help her feel better

He starts to fail or get barely passing answers on purpose simply to show Yor that she’s not alone

Anya is a bit confused cause he understands the concepts but isn’t good when putting it on paper but he finishes his homework perfectly very quickly

Because his grades aren’t well while he’s in school, she decides that him befriending the child Donovan is sponsoring is the best way to go about it

But it doesn’t help that Yor and Loid misunderstand each other’s actions very easily

Yor at first thinks Loid hates her because she is very strong and isn’t like the other children

And Loid thinks at times that Yor blames him for getting a bolt and so he tries his best to help her get a Stella

Anya believes that if Loid gets close to Yor, he can get close to Yuri too and if Loid can’t be an imperial scholar, he might as well get close to an imperial scholar (Yuri does have a good reputation and he and Donovan actually speaks once in a while unlike Yor)

And speaking of Yuri

Him being older than Yor definitely makes my brain tick

Him being older changes a lot of things

He would probably get a girlfriend at some point but then they would break up because he was too focused on how his sister is doing

It probably takes another year or two for another person to actually ask him to hang out and he doesn’t realize it a date for the longest time

He speaks a the whole time talking about how adorable and amazing his sister is

And the girl actually pays attention and laughs at the stories

She even replies in turn with her own little sister

Before they go their own ways, the girl just straight up asks him if he wants to have a second date later that week

He is confused cause he thought he was simply hanging out with a friend and then feels embarrassed cause he talked about his sister the whole time and that’s what ended his last relationship

She tells him that it’s fine and she thinks it’s cute that he is proud of his sister

They do end up having that date later that week

As for who the girlfriend is

I don’t have any person in mind cause no romantic interest has appeared for Yuri cause he’s too focused on Yor and most of the people who would actually be the same age as him or Yor in canon are taken or wouldn’t be compatible

Nightfall

As we all know, Nightfall is very obsessive passionate when it comes to Twilight in canon

They originally meet as Fiona is seated next to him in class for partner work

As the tests get passed out from the day before, he opens his bag to put it in so he can show his mama when his homework book falls out

Fiona picks it up before he can and sees how all the answers are completely correct

He stumbles over his words at first asking her to not tell anyone

He then explains how he doesn’t want anyone to know how smart he is because he doesn’t want people to think differently of him or take advantage of him

Fiona Frost is the only daughter of the famous Frost family so while she is pretty spoiled, she knows how important a public image is

She also knows how many people in their class don’t realize this fact so it makes her respect Loid even more

This respect quickly turns into a crush but Loid doesn’t think she has bad intentions so he tries his best to ignore it

I do have a few headcanons not related to these questions so I’ll probably make a separate post and tag you in that one too. But if you have any more questions please continue asking me. I enjoy hearing your thoughts so much and I’m so glad I can share these idea with someone :)

So,

This is literally for no one but me but I don’t really mind much.

This is a hell of a post for my first actual one that isn’t a reblog, but here you go.

My interests switch every other month at least but I’m really invested in Spy X Family rn and for the past six months. And while scrolling through tumblr today I found the Spy X Family swap AU. So I wanted to put my own thoughts down for anybody to look at and comment as they please. Enjoy :)

The beginning of the mission

Code name: Agent Starlight

Specialty: Disguises, infiltrations, cons

Despite how clumsy she is, she is the best spy from Westalis

Her clumsiness actually helps her in her missions sometimes by leading people into a false sense of security

Sometimes it leads to a setback

But she always gets the job done

That leads her to her current mission: infiltrate the prestigious Eden Academy to get close to Donovan Desmond, a man so suspicious of others he is almost a complete recluse

This leads to her needing a child to have a way in

Her disguise for this mission: Anya Forger, loving mother and wife and hardworking psychiatrist

She goes to a really sketchy orphanage to get a kid for the mission

When she said she wanted a smart child, the director lead her to a boy playing by himself with a small penguin plushie

This young boy’s name is Loid

He’s a telepath

He reads Anya’s mind and is able to find out she’s a spy fairly quickly

But though that interests him, he just wants a family

He (like canon Anya) is obsessed with the show Spy Wars once he sees it but not because spies are cool, but because his mama is a spy and he wants to understand her job and her thoughts better

Loid (like canon) is still really smart and perceptive, but he’s also a child so Anya isn’t able to make sense of everything he does and everything he does isn’t calculated but more of a spur of the moment thing

Of course there has to be that one moment where Loid reads Anya’s mind where she thinks, Basic diplomacy states that understand the other party is the first step to peace.

And Loid hears this (thinking, understanding me means world peace?) so he stands as tall as he can and says “I really like to eat strawberries. But broccoli is gross. Oooo! Bacon from bacon-ries!!”

“I’m sure you means bakeries, and sadly they don’t sell bacon” Anya replies, leading Loid to continue on their shopping trip

Getting into Eden

Anya goes to her best friend and coworker Becky Blackwell to get a copy of the test to get into Eden

Becky specializes with electronics and gadgets but she is able to get information when needed

Anya makes Loud memorize the answers to the best of his ability (which is better than she expected and it makes her pretty proud)

On the actual test, though Loid memorized it all, all the other kids and their panicked thoughts overwhelm him

He does pass (are we surprised) but barely due to the fact that he couldn’t differentiate his own thoughts from others at times

Then Anya received the letter detailing the second part of the admission

There has to be an interview with both parents. No exception.

And as Loid states “but there is no papa”

The next day, Anya calls Becky over and dresses her up to look like a man

Doesn’t work (Loid: I don’t want this papa)

Becky gives her stacks of papers of any single man in the area who Anya could possibly marry, but at least half of them had some crime to their name and she needs a husband with a flawless record

She and Loid later go to the tailor shop nearby simply because they needed some air and because they both needed some outfits for the interview (if they could even find a man willing to marry her to go to the interview with)

Then enters Damian Desmond

He had to go to the tailor shop because the night before he ripped the pants to his only nice outfit while on his main job

Name: Damian Desmond

Job: civil servant

Actual job: Assassin

Code name: Nightshade (named that due to his tendency to use daggers covered with poison)

He became an assassin do to wanting to make the world a better place where children wouldn’t have to be neglected or taken advantage of like he had in the past

His older brother called him the day previous cause he heard Damian promised some people at work that he was going to go to a party of one of his coworkers with his girlfriend

He doesn’t actually have one and hasn’t dated anyone his whole life so his brother truly was happy to hear he was bringing a date

Upon seeing Anya he was ready to ask if she wanted to pretend to be his girlfriend when Loud ran up to her

He thought in his head, of course she would be married. How despicable am I, ready to ask a married woman to date me just because she’s beautiful?

Loid, hearing Damian’s thoughts, decides to put on the show of a life time

He tugs slightly on Damian’s pant leg asking “are you going to be my papa?”

Anya goes wide eyed and lifts up Loid saying, “it’s rude to ask people to be your father”

He sniffles in response, fake tears welling in his eyes as he speaks “but there is no papa”

Damian perks up “you aren’t here with your husband”

Anya puts Loid down again. “No, my husband died a while ago so it’s just me and my son now”

Damian and Anya have a talk and decide to help each other

Anya then last minute has to go on a little side mission and arrives late to the party with the classic “I’m Damian’s wife” “I asked for a girlfriend, not a wife”

And it leads to them deciding to just stick to that cover story and living together

Damian of course is like canon and goes total tsundere whenever Anya shows affection because of her mission and when she wants to

I have so many ideas with the tests and the interview but I’ll leave that out for now cause this is already very long and I’m not done

Just know that they did pass

Honestly just give me an episode (I haven’t read most of the chapters of the manga so please no spoilers past what is also shown in the anime) and I’ll change it to this AU with pleasure

[pixelnrd]

Maggie and Alex argued about their teenage children. Things had been going well for so long, but now - it seemed they were all at risk of ruining their lives when they had at all.

'They're all out of control,' said Alex angrily. 'Desmond isn't focussed anymore, Leo is wasting his time on music. The girls care about nothing but the attentions of boys.'

Maggie was less inclined to think poorly of her children - for their shortcomings, she saw them all as individuals with their own struggles.

'Desi is young and in love... much like we were.'

'Yes, and look where that got us,' said Alex meanly. 'He'll have to give up on his dreams to support the family she will want.'

Maggie became angry at her husband's outburst. 'Is it really so bad, the life we have had?' she argued. 'I'm sorry if you haven't been able to be a writer, Alex, because you had a family to support. Maybe you should've kept it to yourself and let me marry your brother if it was so important for you to follow your dreams! How can you judge our son any differently?'

Alex sighed in exasperation. 'I've worked hard my whole life to support this family, Maggie. All I ask is that our children don't waste the opportunities we've worked to give them. Leo plays his ridiculous music, but that won't get him a job! Where did we go so wrong with him?'

'He's a talented, creative boy determined to make something of himself!' yelled Maggie, defending her special boy. 'He's overcome so much to find his purpose. Which you would know, if you spent time with him, rather than hide away in your office! I don't understand why you wouldn't support his passion, when you always say your parents never supported yours!'

Alex was angry now. 'Well, the girls are just like you! They could have done so many things these days, but care for nothing. Let's hope they don't spoil themselves - if they're anything like you though maybe it's too late!'

It was their worst fight in a long time. They had both said hurtful things to one another, things they had been holding close for a long time. They could see so much of each other in their children, including their own flaws. And Maggie wondered where they could possibly go from here.

'At least Stella is not such a lost cause,' sighed Alex, getting up and walking away.

[tiny-librarian]

The boy was outrageously spoiled. He ruled the household. When Caesar came to his suburban villa to work on a revision of his "De Bella Gallico (The famous commentaries, about his campaigns in Gaul), Caesarion liked to interrupt his father in his study. On being let in, the child ran to his "dear Papa," who caught him up in his arms and kissed him. There would be no more work done on the Commentaries that day.

Cleopatra’s Children - Alice Curtis Desmond

[ceph-the-ghost-writer]

What are their thoughts on children?

Ollie: Too many people have them who shouldn't.

Micaela: If she'd slowed down and thought about it, she would have had some. She also probably wouldn't have left Haiti or become a bloodborn or...well, any of it. She doesn't regret anything, but she can definitely trace certain outcomes to particular choices. Since she did leave and become a creature of the night, she contents herself with spoiling the children of her descendants and other humans she's befriended.

Elfy: If she meets the right woman/person, she definitely wants to have some. Of course, that means settling--no, slowing down first.

Ben: He likes kids, though he doesn't know if he would've been a good father. Scratch that, he does know. He would've been lousy at it. Mean and angry, or just absent altogether. It's better he met Desmond and became somewhat civilized instead. Now at least he can set a halfway decent example for the kids the community takes in, even if they aren't his, biologically speaking.

Tilda: They shouldn't be thrown into an exhibit of wolves at a zoo, and they shouldn't be around her either.

Yi: Her biological clock starts ringing sometimes, and she has to keep hitting snooze. She tells herself maybe someday soon, when the job eases up a bit. But that idea gets weaker and weaker with every passing year.

Mergus: There's hardly been a decade where he hasn't adopted at least one child. The world never seems to run low on its supply of lost or broken little ones. He hates to see it, but is comforted by the joy he gains from taking in the discarded from each new generation and helping them become something more. Especially his aquilae, who've chosen to stay with him forever.

[komatsunana]

The Chronicles of Exandria: The Mighty Nein I

And so I do what I did the last 2 times for the Vox Machina Chronicles of Exandria books, which you can read [here] and [here].

These posts by no means contain all of the information in these books, but plenty of what would most interest other fans.  This is by no means a replacement for actually seeing the book.

My best guess on up to where this book spoils is episode 46.  Anyone who has not watched passed 46 can read this without spoilers outside of vague references that don’t really matter.

First and foremost, as usual, the artistry is the most important part of the book. All of the lovely fan-created art work is even more beautiful in ink than on screen. This I promise you.

As has been noted by other people who have received the book, it is written as though it was transcribed by Beau’s journals by the Cobalt Soul.  Some unnamed writer(s) from the Cobalt Reserve from Tal’Dorei have written all parts that are not excerpts from Beau’s journals.  There are edits by Zeenoth, which indicate that the book is not a final draft.  Zeenoth is not impressed by their work.

The books’ foreword is a dedication to critters.  I won’t transcribe all of it but it ends, “As always, we are richer for your company.  For truly, what good are stories unless they can be shared?”

Unlike the Vox Machina ones, which started with pages dedicated to Vox Machina and their adventures first before branching out for guest and NPCs, this one’s table of contents shows that everything is scattered.

The first section is dedicated to the Storyteller - accompanied by art of Matt as “The Storyteller.”   An excerpt follows below:

“A story walks the land through the songs and tales of those who are touched by its heart.  And then one day, long after all the players within have met the Matron, a story will be told for the very last time.  Unless, by the Grace of the Storyteller, we are let to it. [...]  Through Ioun’s blessing we make his favorite children immortal.  You hold one of them in your hands even now.  Wake it carefully.”

Thoreau contacted the Cobalt Soul immediately after Beau’s first arrest - presumably the one with Tori.  As the monks took Beau away, Thoreau referred to her as “his misfortune.”  It is also noted in the margins that Thoreau is a good friend to the Archive.

Unlike the rest of the M9 and characters, there are no excerpts about Beau herself from her journal... Because obviously she doesn’t need to take notes in herself.  However the Cobalt Soul write their own notes about her and her reputation in the Cobalt Soul and note... more than a few times that Zeenoth thinks she is aggressive, stubborn, and quick to judge and anger and as a result they can’t put a lot of stock into her notes on other people.  However, Dairon was right to put their trust in her because her insight in invaluable and is quick to call out injustice.

Beau’s note taking is exceptional - and color-coded.

Beau’s first notes about Molly is that he is “not that bright, definitely drunk, completely full of shit, and not nearly as good of a liar as he thinks he is.  His outfit is loud, far louder than the man himself.”  His coat contains iconography from at least half a dozen gods.  Beau also noted that Molly’s swords were interesting to which the footnotes immediately made note that Molly’s swords were just swords.  Beau thought, in her first impression of him, that he might be on the run from a family of Warlocks.

The librarians decided to omit all of Molly’s earlier lies that he told Beau and the group about his background, and instead only described the climbing out of the grave and only able to say “Empty” story.  He had scars and 9 red eye tattoos on him at the time.  

There are sketches of the tattoo in full, after Molly had added to it, but it’s noted by Beau that part of the tattoo is covered by Molly’s hair.  Looking at the sketch, it is implied there are more tattoos on his scalp, rather than just the length covering it.

For Molly’s story of climbing out of the grave to be true, it means that Molly relearned to speak both Common and Infernal, learned to perform his skills and duties with the Carnival, covered his eye tattoos with additional, elaborate tattoos, befriended Yasha, and discovered his innate magic ability to use his blood to infuse his weapons with magic.

Beau had made a list of every book she knew Caleb had on his person or expressed interest in.  This includes the erotic books and the 2 spellbooks. 

On the spellbooks, Beau says she isn’t sure about them. One she knows is a spellbook, but she’s not sure on the other as he never opens it.  She wonders if it is a journal of some kind.

There is a page on Beau’s notes in the first arc with the Fletching and Moondrop Carnival - notes about the victim and all her possible suspects of which it is everyone that is part of the carnival.  All of them have a strike through their name, indicating she had eliminated each of them as a suspect at one point, including Kylre.  

Among the notes she has, my favorites are that Beau thinks that everyone in the circus hates each other, never trust a clown (about Desmond), and that everyone has a title such as Molly “The Ice-Spinner” and Yasha “The Brute.”  Beau also notes Yasha as being human.

Outside of Beau’s notes, the best information to be found about Shakästa “Hush” is from an anonymous book from Deastock titled “Heroic Deeds of the Golden Grin.”  It is because of Beau’s notes that Hush is confirmed to be real, not a myth, once and for all.

Because of how cool Shakästa was with his cool bird, Beau notes “I gotta get a bird.”  So we have him to thank for Professor Thaddeus.

Unknown what deity Shakästa draws power from.

Known members of the Tombtakers:

Lucien Nonagon (Molly)

Cree: currently employed by the Gentleman.  Blood powers like Molly’s.

[A name which as been severely crossed out but looks like it says Tyffinl]:  Currently said to be in Nogvurot.

Otis and Zoran:  Still at large, whereabouts unknown

Jurrell:  Deceased

Some lady spellcaster from Rexxentrum 

The Myriad is currently gaining footholds in Tal’dorei as well.  There is also a written notation by Zeenoth to cross reference the Myriad activity with the Tombtakers, indicating that he believes that the Tombtakers and the Myriad might be connected.

Cobalt Soul theorizes that the blood Cree claims the Gentleman took from the M9 to track them might be a new form of blood-based mutagenetic tracking.

Beau’s first impression of Nott and Caleb’s relationship was that Nott heaped praise on him and that there might be some sort of blood debt or magic going on.

Beau’s early theory on Caleb was that he was hiding from a criminal employer and had done a high-level theft.  She made note to watch if he attempted to side-step certain kinds of work.

Everything about Caleb sounded like bad news to Beau, but because he stuck around to get her out of jail Beau comes to the conclusion that that’s endearing.

Beau has made an observation that Caleb was searching for some kind of information in a book, related to transmutation.  She wonders if bartering to get him into the Cobalt Soul library will get her into his good graces, though she hopes he won’t find out that the library is technically open to all if you ask nicely.

There is an entry (in Beau’s second journal, it should be noted) were several pages were ripped out about Caleb.  This indicates that Beau had written down Caleb’s backstory of killing his parents but she, Caleb, or someone else had ripped it out before it got into the hands of the Cobalt Soul.  The Cobalt Soul draws the conclusion that Caleb is connected to organized crime.  They are also unable to find anyone born with the name Caleb Widogast in the Empire and they believe it to be an alias.

There are written notations that say that at least one of the ripped out pages were recovered, in which Beau describes the night Caleb told her and Nott about killing his parents.  Both mentions of Trent Ikathon’s name were crossed out until illegible.  Beau was unconvinced that Caleb’s memories after killing his parents aren’t still jumbled (rather than missing).

Fun fact!  All of the Caleb illustrations in his art section all either have fire or Frumpkin in them.  Because when you boil down Caleb to his essentials that’s all I’m saying.

The strangest thing about the M9, as far as the Cobalt Soul is concerned,  is that they have a goblin among their party.

Beau also wonders if Nott’s relationship with Caleb isn’t also out of love or blind loyalty.  Upon finding out that Nott feels like the parental figure (rather than the other way around, as Beau had assumed) Beau wonders what it is that Nott wants Caleb to be stronger for... Revenge? Or to change herself.

Beau notes that while Nott might have named herself so to call herself not brave, Beau thinks she is pretty brave.  She describes Nott diving into the water for Fjord’s arc twice (even if she complained the entire time) and Nott saving Jester from the blue dragon which “absolutely saved Jester’s life.”  Nott is very focused on everyone remaining together as a team.  Beau believes that while Nott’s loyalty to Caleb has not lessened, her loyalty to the rest of the party has extended to them all.

“I think we might all be her kids now.  It’s kind of sweet, in a really weird way.”

Zeenoth is extremely salty their junior drew lots of buttons instead of researching the crossbow Nott got from Hupperdook.

A list of all phrases that Beau noted in her journals that Kiri had learned in her time with them.

Welcome to the Mighty Nein!

I am Kiri!

Yes, I am very sweet.

It’s sharp.

Ooh, I’m a captain.

Where do babies come from?

Fire! Fire! Fire! Fire!

If it bleeds, we can kill it.

I killed people!

Get into trouble!

She’s probably a good egg.

Go fuck yourself.

Zeenoth is VERY upset about the word fuck and wants that entry removed.

Beau thinks Calianna is too polite.

Cobalt Soul believes there is at least one other bowl like the one Calianna destroyed with the M9.

Beau hopes they don’t pick up any more stragglers, as she thinks it is getting crowded.

Cobalt Soul theorizes about why Keg had a four o’clock shadow rather than a proper Dwarven beard, wondering if she wasn’t forced to shave.  This indicates that beards are normal on female dwarves.

Beau thinks Shady Creek Run is so called because it’s full of shady criminals, but the Cobalt Soul notes that Shady Creek Run has a creek that is in near constant shade in the abundant pine trees.

On Molly’s death Beau says:

“Fuck.   That went horribly.  We lost Molly, and I don’t know what to do. [This part is crossed out: Maybe if I had-] I’m trying my best to stay objective.”

Beau also crosses out “I’m starting to like her” about Keg, and replaces it with “She’s fine, I guess.”

On Nila Beau says: “She said something really nice about Molly.  How in her clan, someones spirit never leave you.  They return to nature, and are forever by your side.  I don’t know if I believe it, but I like the thought.”

Beau wants her own “lucky smell bag” that’ll make decisions for her.

The Blooming Grove was built post-Calamity.

Beau’s first impressions of Caduceus is that he is both grounded and flighty.

Because Caduceus hasn’t eaten meat or alcohol in the time she’s known him, she thinks he’s got to have some sort of vice.

Because of Beau’s talk with Caduceus after killing the blue dragon, Beau remarks that she likes her edge and doesn’t want to lose it and go soft. But maybe it is a better, more efficient way of doing things by being there for the M9. “Gross.”

There is a note in the margins telling the editor to contact Archivist Demid (AKA the guy studying the moons) for information on the Dust family.  This indicates that he may have some special information.

Because of Jester’s defacing every town she visits, the Cobalt Soul has been able to track the M9′s movements.

The Cobalt Soul’s 2 working theories on the Traveler is that he’s a smaller/younger deity either from folk tales about a cloaked figure that either rewards or punishes heroes with a ironic twist OR a god of vandalism.

Zeenoth notes that if the Traveler IS a god of vandalism... they may have a secret follower in their ranks because of all the smut doodles in their books lately. Which of course Jester probably drew.

Beau says that as Jester told the group about her prank causing her to have to flee from Nicodranas she was full of her usual bubbliness... But was starting to see that there was underlying sadness in Jester.

Beau has known Jester has had a thing for Fjord since they first met, but after she got Tusk Love it became full-blown infatuation.

“Fjord seems super oblivious, though, which isn’t surprising for a man who occasionally wakes up covered in seawater and confusion.”

Beau stands by her and Jester’s purchase of the owl and blink dog, but she wonders how long the weasel is going to last in their line of work.

Beau wonders if it’s weird to be attracted to your friend’s mom and comes to the conclusion it is so she’ll back off... But the Ruby is smoking hot.

Beau can also see why people who want to release and evil god for Avantika. Not that she would. “She’s hot, but come on.”

No really new information on The Plank King is revealed in his section, but quite a bit is crossed out until illegible.  This could detail what connection to the Cobalt Soul he has, but was redacted.

The Cobalt claims that while the M9 titled a leader, Fjord often took that position.

Beau is making direct reports on Fjord to the Cobalt Soul and his connection to Uk’otoa.  In her latest report, she says that they’ve bought some time until their next trip to the sea............

Waiting for the rest of the M9 to come out of the Happy Fun Ball, after fighting the blue dragon, are among the rest worst few minutes of Beau’s life.

Beau believed Twiggy that she killed the blue dragon, in part because Caduceus believed her.

Beau accidentally writes “cute and dry” instead of “cut and dried” about Yasha’s background.

“For someone dressed in greys, who carries herself like a dark cloud, Yasha sure seems drawn to color and light. I wonder where it stems from.”

On Yasha being tested by the Stormlord by the “man made of lightning” the Cobalt Soul says it is not uncommon for the Stormlord to test his disciples through acts of physical, mental, or spiritual exertion.

The final notes by Zeenoth indicates that whoever wrote the book (outside of edits from Zeenoth himself and excerpts from Beau’s journals) were by someone from Tal’dorei.  Who might it be? Someone we know?

[metaphysical-human-being]

Switcheroo 6

5

6

7

A/N: Why hello! How are you? Anyway, I’m back with more switcheroo! This one is a bit of an emotional rollercoaster but I hope you like it!

Warnings: swearing, yelling, small food mention, telling someone they're unwanted, ig unsymp Roman and Remus(I don’t know, they're just being mean to each other). I think that’s all, tell me if there are more!

Summary: Dinner is ready!

No one else is. 

-

You can’t really blame Logan for not knowing how bad of an idea this was.

Roman refused to utter the name of the twin he had and neither Eliana nor George could remember the name of the kid they had rejected. They felt no need and now they couldn’t remember the name for the life of them so Logan never knew his name. 

So when De had told him that he had a child named Remus who went to the same school that Logan taught, he thought nothing of it. He couldn't remember a student named Remus so he just assumed he didn't have him. 

He wasn't wrong...kinda. He did have Remus but that was a class Roman and him were supposed to share so he was switched. Logan didn't really know that though. He knew he was supposed to have a new kid but he never showed then he just wasn't there. 

If Logan had known...had taken one good look at Remus before tonight...well, we can't live on the what ifs now can we?

It was a Friday evening. The sun was setting, turning the sky a mixture of red and blues and pinks as it went down. The suburban orange street lights began to flicker on, alerting the neighborhood children to go inside and wash up for dinner. They could play all they wanted tomorrow but they do have things to do. The birds began to chirp they're final tunes as they flew to their nests and the night critters got ready to rumble. It was a truly calm and homely scene, the neighborhood.

Well, if you don't count the numerous items being thrown at people. Or the screaming. Or the rushing around and intense last minute cleaning. 

“Roman!¿Has puesto la mesa?” Eliana called to Roman from her position in the kitchen. 

“¡Si mamá! ¡También limpié el baño! ” Roman answered from the dining room, ducking at the random cooking item that Logan had managed to dodge. Eliana thanked him before going back to screaming at Logan about stirring the meringue wrong. 

“It’s crazy,” his father had said, coming up from behind Roman. It was obvious he had just finished getting ready and was as excited about the dinner as Roman thought he’d be. His dad was an introvert, hated things like fancy dinner or parties. “Your mother wants to impress him more than Logan does.” he chuckled and Roman did too. 

Truth be told, Roman was really excited to meet Logans’ new boyfriend. Ever since Roman had first been adopted he’d never seen Logan with someone. A few dates here and there but never anything serious. The first day Logan had met his new partner he had spent that entire dinner time going on about how amazing he looked and how he “couldn’t believe someone that hot could be so adorable why in the hell does my heart feel like this Eli I think I may be having a heart attack.”

He wasn’t but it was still amazing to see Logan so happy.

“You know mother dearest,” Roman smiled. "Always wants to make a good first impression." 

"You're right. That's why I fell in love with her," his father smiled, a far away look in his eye. Roman tapped him on the arm to bring him back from the memory of his first meeting with his mother. One he talked about often. 

After another 25 minutes and a lot more screaming there was a ring at the door. It ceased the chaos for all of five seconds before more started up. This time they were rushing to clean up the kitchen and making sure they looked perfect for the first meeting. 

At his mother's instructions, Roman went to go make sure the table was straight. He didn't meet them at the door, only heard their voices. One sounded deep and suave. Elegant is definitely a word that would be used to describe that person. 

The other voice...was familiar. A voice he knew he'd heard before. A voice that stirred something in Roman but he ignored it. Although he didn't ignore the name the elegant voice had used to address the familiar one. Roman stiffened. 

"And in the dining room, our son Roman is making sure everything is perfect. He just loves helping," he heard his mother brag as they made their way to the dining entrance. A loving and cheerful voice that was a stark contrast to the booming one before. 

They stood at the entrance. All looking at the sheer terror on Romans face. All the adults were confused. The teen however was not. 

"Remus."

"Roman."

"You two know each other?" Logan asked, looking between the two. Something seemed to click just a second later when his eyes noticeably widened. 

"Of course," Roman drawled, a strained smile on his face. "How could I not recognize my own twin?" 

-

"So, Desmond-"

"Call me De." 

"De, of course," his mother smiled at the man. The one she used for all guests but a bit...softer. "What do you do? Logan told me that you two met at that new café?" 

De set down his fork and wiped at his mouth. 

"I actually own that café and a few others around the country."

"Oh," George piped up, intrigued by the new information. "Was there a reason you picked North Carolina?" He asked. De nodded.

"I was looking to move-"

"Cus Remus got his ass kicked out of school."

"And I found an empty building in the area. It seemed nice, good weather, so I found a house and started construction."

"That place has been under construction for a few months. I remember driving by it. Wanted to check it out." Eliana said, shooting a glare at her son. She wasn't the only one. Logan had learned how to perfect the "angry mom glare™" and was shooting him one too.

Remus stiffened but kept quiet. Something he knew De would be proud of. 

"So, Remus, what is your favorite subject in school?" Logan asked him. It was the first time Logan had met Remus as well so he decided to try and talk to him. If all went well he'd be seeing a lot more of him. 

Remus finished chewing his food before looking at Logan. He held his gaze but made sure Roman was listening. 

"I don't really know." He answered, truthfully. "Although I've never really been fond of theater. Too...girly." he said, shifting his gaze to look at Roman. De shot him a glare and kicked him lightly under the table. Remus flinched slightly at the assault but didn't say anymore. 

They sat in silence for a few minutes. Roman broke it.

"So, mother, I heard about this new thing. A study was done. Basically, the younger twins are a lot more likely to be immature and just altogether more hideous than the older." Roman had said. It was a lie and he knew everyone knew that too but it didn't stop Remus from scowling. 

"Actually, dad," he had hissed, looking to De. "I saw this thing that said that twins that were born first are highly more likely to have a shitty personality-”

“Oh I’m the one with a shitty personality?” Roman snapped, slamming his fist down on the table. All other people at the table seemed to blend into the background as Roman and Remus stared each other down.  

“I have to say,” Remus sat up straight, hands in his lap. “I’m proud that you seem to know all these new words. All that summer school you had to go to seemed to help. Even idiots can learn new things!”

“God you’re insufferable!” Roman hissed, shooting daggers at Remus. Remus shot back with a glare of his own. 

“Ha! Jokes on you, I don't know what that word means!” Remus shot back, crazed smirk making its way to its familiar place on Remus’ face. 

“It means you’re a pain in the neck!” 

“Insulting me like this, Ro? I am a guest in your home and this is how you treat me? For a failed Disney prince I woulda thought you had better manners than that.”

“You’re not a guest,” Roman snarled, rising from his seat. “You’re an unwanted parasite!”

“Ha! As if I hadn’t heard that one before!” Remus scoffed, rising from his seat as well.

“Which part? Parasite or unwanted? Let me take a wild guess!”

Something in Remus seemed to switch. His eyes lowered along with his voice and he growled, actually growled, at Roman. Roman was on real thin ice. One wrong step and he’ll have crossed a line no human besides Roman would even dare think to cross. 

“You’re on thin ice you spoiled little brat!” Remus said, something feral shining in his eyes. Roman smirked. 

“What? Can’t handle the truth?” Roman laughed. This made Remus growl again. 

“You wouldn’t know the truth if it hit you in your flat ass.”

“My ass is not flat you twat!”

“Boys, enough.” George said, placing his cutlery down on the table. Neither boys listened or made any move that showed that they heard him. 

“Lemme tell you a bit of truth, Roman.” Remus growled, inching his face closer to Romans. “Right now...you’re making me rethink whether or not I regret getting rid of you four years ago.” 

Roman seemed to mentally recoil as the rest of the table drew in a unanimous breath. The mental slap in the face hitting in all the wrong places for Roman. It made him want to run to his room and cry. Or hurt Remus. He chose the latter. 

“Well, brother of mine,” he sneered, inching close just like Remus had. “You being here right now...I can see why no one wanted you.” he muttered, so low everyone had to strain their ears to hear. Remus stood up straight at that. Roman followed suit. 

“That’s not-”

“That's not true? Hm? Is that what you were gonna say? ‘Cus I know that would be one huge ass lie!” Roman yelled, voice upbeat but so utterly condescending. “You know all those families? All those families that didn’t want us? Well, News flash! They didn't want you!” Roman screamed, pointing a rigid finger in Remus’ direction. 

Remus stood, body stoic. Lips pursed and waiting. Waiting for the final blow that he knew was gonna come. 

“I bet your Dad didn’t even want you.” Roman laughed. “I bet you were nothing more than a pitiful sight and he just couldn’t stand to leave you in the orphanage. Could he?” 

Remus looked around at the others at the table. The adults who had been silent as they watched the countdown to the explosion on the fragile bomb that was Roman and Remus’ relationship. Tears welled in his eyes and deep down, deep deep down, Roman felt satisfaction. 

Deeper down though, in a place Roman had tried all too hard to bury, he felt like a monster. 

He felt horrible because he had vowed to never hurt Remus the day, the minute, the moment he learned that Remus was his family. 

He still remembers it. He had been four and had watched Lilo and stitch for the first time. Ever the curious toddler, he had asked a caregiver what family was. What it meant and did he have one. He knew he had a brother, but didn’t know about a family. 

“You do have a family,” she had said, pointing at Remus who was attempting to eat a Lego person. “He’s your family.” she had explained in the simplest way. 

“What does that mean?” he had asked her and she knew what he meant. What he was really asking. 

What did it mean to be a family?

“Well,” she had said, crouching down off the couch and onto the floor, right in front of Roman. 

“Family are the people you care about no matter what. You love and protect them and they love and protect you. They may get on your nerves sometimes but...you'll always be there for them. You’ll never forget them. You’ll never not love them.” she said, going slow and Roman hung onto every word. 

He looked at Remus, chewing on the tiny Lego person, and suddenly ohana had a whole new meaning. 

Ohana means family and family means nobody gets left behind, forgotten or hurt. 

Ohana means family and family meant Remus. 

Ohana had become their new ‘I love you’. It was something perfect for their little two person family and every time one of them got hurt or they got in a fight they’d tell each other ohana and watch the movie that soon became their favorite. 

After that day though, Roman tried to leave Remus in his past. Tried to forget him and move on and now he had hurt him. 

Younger him would be so disappointed in him right now.

 Remus looked at everyone frozen at the table, eyes shiny. He looked to De with a pleading look. He was begging him with his eyes to tell him that wasn’t true but De was frozen. No one knew exactly how to react and Des’ mind was moving far too slow to recognize the look Remus was sending him. 

He gave one final, heartbreaking look to Roman. Roman knew what was gonna happen. He did it whenever he felt like crying but didn’t want anyone to see him. 

Remus turned around and ran. Right out of the dining room and right out the door.

Within seconds Roman crumbled to the ground in a ball of tears and all hell broke loose.

-

Those who want to be tagged:

@datfearlessfangirl

@queer-human-being

@annoyingindeed

@deceitslimysanders

@mynamehasbeenstolen

@healthyboybrand

@lasilhouetteinbianco

@thetrombonewhisperer

@gayturtlez

[michelles-garden-of-evil]

Episode 32 Review: Sea Fever

{ Not available on YouTube }

{ Full Synopses/Recaps: Debby Graham | Bryan Gruszka }

{ Screencaps }

I apologize for the delay in posting this review. Once again, I’ve been busy in real life and didn’t have enough time to work on it last week. (And so soon after starting my Shadow Over Seventh Heaven review series!) But now I’m back and I have enough time to write about my favorite show again--and, in a week or so, hopefully enough to continue my other review series as well.

This is the first episode to differ completely from the Lost Episode summaries published in various U.S. and Canadian newspapers--and therefore probably the point at which the original outline and the final one began to diverge. Episode 30′s summary described an event that happened in the episode, but whose cause appears to have been changed during forced rewrites; last episode’s was still accurate after revisions; but this one’s summary is the first to describe a scene absent from the final, aired episode. (More on that later.)

Shall we begin this review? This episode features some of the darkest Jean Paul (yes, Jean Paul!) dialogue thus far, along with many entertaining facial expressions as multiple characters feast on the scenery. It’s a wild ride with a genuinely scary scene, and, if you like those things, I think you’ll enjoy it.

We open right where last episode left off, with Elizabeth reacting to Jacques’ little comment about Holly and how he would stake her life in a bet that Vangie couldn’t contact Erica in the planned séance. ”Jean Paul,” she shouts, “your inference that I would harm my daughter to take her fortune for my own is insulting and in bad taste: something I’d never expect of you!”

The handsome devil replies, “Your strong defense against a simple query lends credence to a simple supposition”--which is just a fancier, less archaic way of saying “the lady doth protest too much.”

She flounces and runs into Vangie at the door--figuratively, not literally, although that would be amusing. “You interrupted Mrs. Marshall’s romantic exit from which there might be no return,” Jacques comments, which sounds suspiciously like foreshadowing.

The conversation drifts to the séance and how Jacques is most definitely not going to back down because he’s not a coward, and then, suddenly,

Vangie SCREAMS!

Apparently, every time a female character other than Raxl screams, she has to try eating her hand immediately afterwards.

She’s screaming because she can sense that someone is tampering with the cryonics capsule. And, at the same time that this happens, Jacques also de-possesses Jean Paul:

I’ll let these headache faces speak for themselves.

Jean Paul who threatens to kill anyone who tampers with the capsule. Very nice (not)! Normally, I find his concern for Erica romantic, but this is going too far. He reminds me of the captain in the CBS Radio Mystery Theater episode "Sea Fever" (also by Ian Martin) who…well, I don't want to spoil the ending, but let's just say that he is even crazier in love than Jean Paul. It isn’t one of the best CBSRMT dramas, but it will likely chill your bones. It certainly chilled mine.

Love this shot of Colin Fox backacting while Paisley Maxwell and Angela Roland stare at him with wide-open eyes. This episode is full of unintentionally funny facial expressions.

Jean Paul hurries back to Maljardin with Elizabeth and Vangie, and heads to the crypt immediately to see Raxl about the capsule. She recaps to him about the capsule tank’s malfunctioning in the previous episode. He asks who discovered it; she tells him Dan, which only makes him more suspicious of him. SHe also recaps to him about how Alison and Dan are searching for the cyanide that he stole from the lab. “Everyone questions my changes of mood,” he shouts. “Now I must question changes in others!...There is danger hiding everywhere on Maljardin. It has a history that has plagued the family, that will plague all who pry into my affairs!"

While Vangie questions the sincerity of Elizabeth’s devotion to Jean Paul above, Jean Paul leaves red flowers on the cryocapsule and announces his planned next moves to his love: “Erica, my dove, now [there] are some people here on our island who would destroy the process by which you will be returned to me and fill my arms again, but I promise you, no one, no one under any consequences [line flub], will live again if he or she causes you to remain forever dead!"

A beautiful shot of Jean Paul with flowers for Erica.

When Raxl next joins Jean Paul in the crypt, she tells him that “only the priestess of the Serpent knows what is really on their minds.” Jean Paul mentions that she has told him before about the human sacrifices that the priestesses used to perform on the island--which is not recap (as we have only heard her tell Matt about them so far), so she must have told him sometime before Erica’s death. She insists that, although that was true long ago, their altar has not been used for them since Jacques's time.

“But, if his evil can rise again, as you fear,” he begins, implying that he wants to start making blood sacrifices.

“No! Please, M’sieu, no!” Raxl interrupts.

“I will do what has to be done, Raxl. Nothing more, nothing less.”

Raxl draws the Sign of the Great Serpent in the air and the same Great Serpent symbol that's in the Temple appears on screen. It’s a cool effect and not something that’s ever seen in any other episode.

She leaves the crypt, looking back at Jean Paul a few times, probably in complete disbelief that he wants her, daughter of the unseen Priestess of the Serpent, to sacrifice Dan and any other troublesome guests to protect against THE DEVIL JACQUES ELOI DES MONDES. This is a shocking new low for Jean Paul Desmond, and shows the darker side of his character. This is a man who, even without a curse and even when he is not possessed, is capable of murder because of his obsession with his love interest. This is a male yandere.

She sees Matt in the Great Hall, who tells her that he’s searched all over Maljardin and that there must be many hidden rooms there. It turns out they have both searched in every room they know about and still have found neither the missing cyanide nor the conjure doll and silver pin. He demands that she tell him the legend of Maljardin and that old black magic. And so we learn from her some very important background information, some of which is never brought up again:

Where there is evil, there is magic. Where there is magic, strange things happen, but first there must be evil, and there is!...Before the time of Jacques Eloi des Mondes, when this house first stood, it was a palace of kings and there were many people here until this island became his!…Only the greedy and foolish [natives] remained, and none who left ever returned.

There is a curse here, Reverend: him, that devil!

The implication is that Jacques did not build the château, but took it from someone else, which connects to his revelation about a month earlier that he was a “free looter”--or, in other words, a pirate. Matt argues that Jacques cannot still hold control over Maljardin because he died three hundred years ago, but Raxl says that “for some of us, three hundred years is but the span of a single lifetime,” indirectly revealing her true age to him.

She smiles at him right after she reveals to him that she’s centuries old. I think this is the first time Raxl smiles on the show, and the only time in the entire Maljardin arc.

Matt asks about the natives who stayed on the island, and Raxl says of them, “They died very soon. It was the curse on Maljardin. Have you ever seen a man who has lost his soul, Reverend? Their eyes down, the fishermen no longer fish, the children cease to play. They do no more than sit and wait [for death]...Since then, no native has ever tried to settle on Maljardin.” Only Vangie, the Conjure Woman, can go back and forth to and from the island “on the wings of the Great Serpent,” but she, too, is destined to die someday on Maljardin.

At the end of this scene, Vangie enters and adds that she doesn’t know when she’ll die, because the tarot cards did not (and cannot?) give her an exact date. This would seem to make her death on the show a foregone conclusion, but that may or may not be the case. (I say that not only to avoid spoilers, but also because the show and the original scripts give the Conjure Woman radically different fates, as we shall explore in future reviews.)

Meanwhile, down in the crypt, Jean Paul is still talking to Erica about how he is determined to kill anyone who interferes with the cryonics process when Jacques starts intruding on his mind. Like in Episode 27, the special effects team illustrates this by superimposing Jacques’ face from the portrait over that of Jean Paul when he is talking to him:

The best example from this episode.

None of Jacques’ lines in this scene are as funny as those of the old, pre-Lost Episode era Jacques, even if Fox-C still delivers the devil’s lines with the same amount of sarcasm and relish as before. His best line this time around is, in my not-so-humble opinion, “Suppose we just whisper so dear Erica may sleep.” I miss early Jacques’ jokes already--yes, even the ham-handed, cornball puns--and it hasn’t even been a week’s worth of episodes since the last.

We cut to Raxl and Vangie in the Great Hall, discussing the upcoming séance. Vangie says that she wants to find out if Erica’s spirit genuinely wants Jean Paul to continue mourning her and keeping her frozen. She insists that Raxl let her touch the cryocapsule before the séance, most likely to get a sense of Erica’s energy before they perform the ceremony.

Jean Paul: “What are you doing!”

Raxl: “Please, M’sieu. The Conjure Woman is trying to help.”

Jean Paul: “Only for a séance, Vangie. Erica must remain undisturbed.” Vangie: “And if you don’t like what you learn?” Jean Paul: “I’ll face that--when the time comes!”

The Lost Episode summary indicates that, at some point in the original draft, Raxl and Vangie had a conversation about Jacques, and Raxl would have told her how she can tell him and Jean Paul apart. As I’m sure many of you have realized, Raxl and Vangie oscillate between knowing that Jean Paul is being possessed and merely suspecting, depending on the episode. In the original Episode 32, Raxl would have known when Jacques is controlling Jean Paul’s body and Vangie would have only suspected until after Raxl explained. Ruling out all obvious non-diegetic clues such as the vanishing portrait shots and Jacques’ theme music, she could have said any number of things, including:

His energy/aura changes (although, logically, Vangie would notice that, too).

He wears the ring from the portrait (which we know is diegetic, because Elizabeth commented on it in Episode 13).

He opens his eyes really wide and makes silly faces.

He makes corny puns Never mind, we’re not doing that anymore.

He acts far too cheerful for a man who is supposedly mourning his dead wife.

He talks about kippers.

Etc.

I suppose we’ll never know which one(s) she mentioned, but I suspect #1, #2, and/or #5. Anyway, Jean Paul leaves to return upstairs and Vangie continues whatever she started doing with the capsule. He orders Jacques to “stop turning people against [him],” which he refuses to do, threatening to keep Erica dead if he doesn’t shut up about it.

“When we really get into the battle, someone has to die,” quips Jacques.

“Perhaps it will be you!” shouts Jean Paul in response.

“Or you, Jean Paul Desmond,” the handsome devil replies. “Or will you be preceded by one of our guests? Now let me see. A likely candidate could be...”

Jean Paul turns away from the roars of laughter, and the episode ends before Jacques can name the guest(s) he plans to murder.

Could it be Vangie? Or Holly? Dan? Alison? Even Elizabeth?

This episode was a fun one to watch, and probably the first review I’ve completed in only one day since sometime last winter. Jean Paul’s willingness to put everyone’s life on the proverbial line to save Erica shows a dark side to his nature that mostly vanishes at the end of this story arc--which is a shame, because I find morally ambiguous antihero Jean Paul the most interesting version of his character. I recommend this one, if you have access to it.

Coming up next: A Quito-centric episode where the detained guests learn shocking truths about Jean Paul’s manservant.

{ <- Previous: Episode 31   ||   Next: Episode 33 -> }

[lilbeankiddo]

Cricket legends who played in the Indian Premier League

“It’s only a few people, administrators and umpires, who had some doubt,” Murali recalls about the controversy over his bowling action. “That is their opinion,  but someone’s opinion can’t be the rule. Doubt is part of life, that’s fair enough. But there are two sides to every story. An Australian university proved me right, in the end.

“If you leave the decision to the umpire, though, I don’t think that is fair. Not on the umpire and defi nitely not on the player. How can you see from the eyes and say that this is not right? Two people might see it diff erently. When you’re bowling, your arms rotate quicker than anything and you can’t see properly. So use the technology, see if what you’re saying is right, and then come to a conclusion. And then you can tell the bowler to change their action. These rules have been brought in aft er my incident, so things are done in diff erent ways. Now a bowler has a fair chance.

Cricket boards get millions from TV rights, the ICC pay you a lot. And who wants to take that money? Not the cricketers. Everything is politicised. In the 1990s, nobody wants to come to develop the game, so honest people do the work. Aft er the World Cup win in 1996, money started coming in by 2000, and in ten years’ time, they spoil all the game.

“We have good youngsters, but confi dence levels are going down. We used to be very confi dent. The most important thing is to get them mentally right. They have all the shots, but they don’t know how to make fi ft y, hundred or even a partnership. Those are the things that are lacking in the national side.” Since retirement, Murali has gone into manufacturing – his father made biscuits, while he has gone into aluminium cans. He’s also heavily involved with former manager Kushil Gunasekera’s charity, Foundation of Goodness. “The foundation helps people in the poorer areas, those parts of Sri Lanka aff ected by the Civil War and the 2004 Tsunami. We also have built sports facilities and helped run sports tournaments. “I was fortunate to play cricket, to play for Sri Lanka. When I had my troubles in Australia in 1995, the Sri Lankan people stood by me, supported me during those diffi cult years, where I worked hard to prove myself innocent of the charges. The people of Sri Lanka helped me a great deal and I thought then that I would do something to help them, too.

“I was actually there when the tsunami hit southern Sri Lanka in 2004. I was visiting a village near the coast with my wife and mother-in-law, delivering books for school children. We saw the sea was high in the distance, but suddenly people were running towards us. They didn’t know anything about tsunami, so when we asked them what was happening, they just said ‘the sea has come to land’. We ran away quickly. If we’d been 20 minutes later, the tsunami would have got us.”

Bringing up bats in the IPL

The development of young Australian cricketers hasn’t been quarantined from a fast-changing world. The difference from the system in the 1950s is dramatic but in recent years it’s occurred at a much quicker pace. The last exceptional Australian side began to disband when Shane Warne and Glenn McGrath retired in 2007. The first World T20 event was held later that year and up until then the development system for young Australian cricketers was evolving gradually. With the widespread growth of T20 leagues, the players now have an extra choice when it comes to earning a living and this also means having to choose a development direction from a more cluttered path. A young player now comes through a system that includes many structured net sessions, hours facing bowling machines or a coach wielding a “whanger”. All these sessions are closely monitored by a coach who has various technology aids to emphasise his point.

The system I grew up in had few structured net sessions and many hours of playing matches, whether they were in the backyard against my brother or at one of the many venues where pick-up games were available. There were no bowling machines, unless you count the thousands of balls thrown by our father, Martin. There were no whangers – we didn’t throw balls to the dog, we hit them and Champ gleefully chased them, diligently returning the missile – saliva and all – to his master.

The hours of playing matches were crucial in the development process. Without knowing it at the time, all sorts of information was being embedded in my brain which stood me in good stead when I later faced first-class and international bowlers. The coaching was at the weekend and it was from an excellent tutor in Lynn Fuller. This experience has led me to the conclusion that it is best to have good coaching, or none at all. Not having formal coaching allows a young cricketer to spend hours honing his skills and better understanding his own game. The careers of great players such as Sir Donald Bradman, Bill O’Reilly and Doug Walters all began in the bush where they unearthed their own particular way of developing skills.

As the modern young cricketer progresses, he reaches the stage of playing various level under-age matches and attending an academy. My academy was the backyard and the local playing fields. Soon after playing in my only under-age competition – an under 14 state carnival – I entered the realm of senior cricket, competing against men. This was a critical part of my development and it undoubtedly hastened my cricket education. On leaving school, I graduated to A-grade cricket in Adelaide where I competed with and against Test and interstate cricketers.

When Dennis Lillee walked into the Kingston Hotel in October of 1995, it was as if Dennis Lillee himself had walked into the Kingston Hotel. It was, for a Canberra kid, flat-out unbelievable. Dennis Lillee! In the Kingo! Our local! Even 26 years old and six schooners deep, I was the fan kid in Almost Famous when he clocks David Bowie. Lillee! It’s Dennis Lillee! My mate Pagey didn’t care. He bounded straight over. “Oi! Dennis Lillee!” declared Pagey and began yapping away like they were pals. And DK laughed at some bit of nonsense, and at the front of the bloke, and soon enough I was over there, in the great man’s orbit, shaking hands, unable to speak.

And he smiled that lop-sided Dennis Lillee smile, the one you’d seen on the beer ads, and said, “How are ya, son?” And I smiled back like a shy kid with Santa, and said nothing lest it come out a squeak. Mike Veletta was there too, laughing along with Pagey’s babble. Lillee’s fellow man of the west was in town to captain-coach the ACT Comets, the local boys playing their first season in the domestic one-day comp, the Mercantile Mutual Cup. Veletta was 31 and had played Tests and ODIs for Australia, and would’ve been a big enough deal for we cricket-mad locals. Turn up with Dennis Lillee and he was Mick Jagger’s wingman. Safe to say we didn’t get a lot of cricket in Canberra. Not the top stuff, anyway. We  did get the Prime Minister’s XI; Robert Menzies’ muse brought back to life by Bob Hawke because he knew Australians as John Singleton knew Australians. Singo knew what sold Winfield Blues and Tooheys Draught, and Hawkey knew what sold Hawkey. And in those days, as Kerry Packer would have attested with a vengeance, cricket sold. And those PM’s XI fixtures, for cricketstarved Canberrans, were magnificent.

The first one was against the mighty West Indies side of 1984. Viv Richards, Clive Lloyd, big Joel Garner, and all the rest of those ridiculous humans with their long limbs and languid moves, and other-worldly skill – they were so unbelievably cool. Their visit energised the town; the match was sold out. Three thousand people snuck in under the fence. Manuka Oval heaved. It was ridiculous: January day; hotter than hell. Man, it was good. Desmond Haynes fielded just in front of us, on the fence backward of square. He was our guy, diving around, smiling his head off. And every time he came back from some bit of adventure we’d cheer, “Dessie! You beauty!” And he’d laugh and wave, into it. It was so cool.

Kids were mad for those West Indians. For the Aussie team, too. A mate of a mate, Coyley, played locally for Easts and wore his cricket kit to the game: woolly jumper, thick white socks, Greg Chappell hat. And he stood outside the Australian team's dressing shed signing autographs. Quizzical kids lined up. Years later, a younger mate dug out his toy bat with all the autographs, and there between “Michael Holding” and “Greg Ritchie” was “Peter Coyle”. Out in the middle, another relatively anonymous cricketer, a squat Tasmanian called David Boon, was whacking big Joel down the ground on the way to 134. And in a summer in which the Windies’ quicks were more four-pronged killer attack squad than men, we bayed for this boy Boonie, and for the PM’s boys, and for Hawkey who’d made it happen. The great man took a walk inside the perimeter, lapping it up, a rubbery figure come to life, shamelessly in love with himself.

And we loved him for it. And Hawkey knew it. ScoMo? There can be only one. In 1990 came England, and mates and I had a gig selling ice creams at the PM’s XI. We worked out you could wedge a six-pack of VB in amongst the dry ice, and we’d sit there, watching cricket, selling Cornettos and sucking on VB stubbies. Now and again you’d chant “Ice cream!” and down they’d come, the people. And I got half-pissed watching Allan Border belt the Poms around Manuka. At stumps, I was paid 150 bucks cash. Still the greatest job I’ve ever had. Another was operating Manuka’s Jack Fingleton scoreboard. They’d brought it up from the MCG, plank by plank, this great, hulking old banger, heritage-listed. And mates and I would sit inside it, shirtless, sweating up a treat, drinking tinnies, watching cricket.

One day saw a young Michael Bevan belt a ton against Wayne “Cracker” Holdsworth, bowling heat for NSW seconds. Cracker was short, skiddy and rapid. He was Malcolm Marshall without the guile. And without the Malcolm Marshall. But he bolted in and let rip, Cracker. And he was quick. At least he was this day, bouncing Bevan and the Canberra boys. In the same match, Marty Haywood who’d taken plenty of Cracker because, truth be told, Bevo didn’t much fancy it – was run out in the shadows of stumps as Bevo scurried back to the non-striker’s end. And I can still hear Haywood’s bull moose roar of “craaaaap!” reverberating around the empty concrete stands of Manuka Oval. And I thought, “My but I love this game.” And I love this ground. And now Manuka’s got a Test match. Little Canberra has become.

Canberra has four distinct seasons. Autumn is dead leaves. Spring is blossoms. Winter is colder than Krakow by night. And summer is just hot. Broken Hill hot. It’s a dry, “bush” heat. It’s African savannah. It’s scorched earth. It’s stinkin’. And you played cricket in it because that’s just what you did. And you watched cricket. And you lived and loved it.

We played on “synthetic” wickets which were concrete strips overlaid by “AstroTurf” of various plumage. They could be bouncy as bejeezus. A top-edged cut shot would soar into space. Not a lot of seam. But bounce, baby, bounce. The turf wickets could be a bit how-you-goin’, as they say. Shades of the old MCG: shooters, bounders, rip-snorters. Ordinary, lot of ’em. And a lot of ordinary bowlers got wickets. Outfield grass was generally long because it was cold at night, and wouldn’t grow back if you cut it. Thus, batters did their best.

Yet a steady drip of first-class cricketers has come out of the joint, punctuated by the odd Michael Bevan and Brad Haddin. Greg Rowell bowled accurate fast-meds for NSW, Queensland and Tasmania. Wayne Andrews went to WA and played 91 Sheffield Shield games. Mark Higgs bowled left-arm wristspin and gave it a whack for the Blues, once belting 181 not against Queensland. Nathan Lyon came from Young to pilot Manuka’s mowers before doing the same at Adelaide after Les Burdett.

Largely, though, the very good ones stayed, big fish in a small pond. Few reasons: there were plenty of players like them in Sydney grade cricket; there wasn’t money enough to uproot a family to chase a dream; in Canberra there were public service jobs forever that gave you time off to play. And it was fun to play for the ACT.

Brad Bretland kept wicket for the ACT. You haven’t seen a bloke with quicker hands, whipping bails off standing up to the quicks. He played indoor cricket for Australia. Unbelievable eye, reflexes. Peter Solway holds the record for most games and runs for the ACT, and most games and runs in the ACT comp. He played in the PM’s XI of ’93-’94 alongside young guns Hayden, Langer, Ponting. Fellow local legend Greg Irvine played in the PM’s XI two days before Christmas 1987. Took 5/42 swinging the ball both ways before going down swinging in a run chase against Richard Hadlee, bookended in the batting order by ME Waugh, DW Hookes and AR Border. Solway says there were a couple of nibbles from Sydney but things were progressing nicely in Canberra. The Country Championships had kicked off. There were regular tours and second XI fixtures. And in ’95 came the Mercantile Mutual comp. “And I had a decent job, I was married,” he says. “It crossed my mind to move to Sydney. But I suppose I didn’t want it bad enough.” Was he good enough? Solway reckons he’d have backed himself. Yet the NSW team was a tough nut to crack. “The era I came through of under-17s and under-19s – and I don’t know if it put me off – but the NSW team was Taylor, Waugh, Waugh, McNamara and a heap of guys.

“I don’t regret [staying]. I’m happy with how things have panned out. Was I good enough? I dunno. I probably would’ve backed myself. But until you do, you don’t know.” Mike Veletta believes Solway was “easily” first-class level. “He was one of those great blokes who was happy doing what he was doing. He worked for the government, he was content, his family was entrenched in the community. There’s no doubt – temperament, nous, technique – he would’ve thrived at first-class level.” After Solway, Irvine and company, however, came a generation of cricketers for whom there was a genuine pathway and opportunity to play up. They were my generation – let’s call them the under-19s of ’89-’90. These talented ones could get amongst it at the AIS or the academy in Adelaide. Michael Bevan was of this generation. You played against Bevo, he was left-arm quick. Going across you, bending it back in – he was a bit bloody good, Bevo. Scary, even. A singular fellow, but a good fellah. He could bat, sure – but there were batters better.

One played in his own team – Huntley Armstrong, a Greg Ritchie-shaped belter with Shane Warne’s mullet. In a semi-final at Rivett Oval, my Woden Valley under-16s played Huntley’s Weston Creek. Bevo wasn’t playing, there was a soccer tournament on. But they still had plenty. Bunch of blokes would play U19s for ACT. But Huntley was the wicket.

On 20-odd on a ridiculously, freezing cold March day (truly, it was maybe six degrees, sleeting, wind-chill factor hideous), Huntley smashed our Laxman-wristed leg-spinner Michael Streat one thousand yards into space. I waited for it to come down. And waited. No-one thought I’d catch it – me included. Damn thing soared towards me like an ice comet. But I pouched it, somehow, and punched the air, and we knocked off the Creek, the hot faves. And all the dads said over again, “catches win matches”. And Huntley’s mum declared, “It’s all Michael Bevan’s fault!”

Week later in the grand final against St Edmund’s, another top player from that class of ’89, Marty Haywood, was on maybe 42 when he smashed Streaty high, and long, and way out to cow corner. And there waited I – The Hero of Rivett – underneath it. Beautiful day. Saw it all the way. Grassed the bastard. And watched our man Marty go on to plunder 157 not out and win the game. And that, as the cricket gods would tell you, is cricket.

Haywood went to Campbelltown and onwards to Mosman, where he captained the club for 20-some years. He would play 13 matches for NSW when the Waugh twins were playing for Australia. That was his competition in the Blues’ middle order: the bloody Waughs. Today, a good one would’ve gone to Tassie or somewhere. Haywood stayed and notched his highest score, 97, at the Junction Oval. And you play golf with him today and there’s longing behind his eyes. Huntley went to Adelaide and the academy there, and stayed on playing grade cricket. He played a couple of one-dayers for South hero of mine, David Hookes. Michael Bevan went to Sydney, and fashioned a fairly decent career in the game. Today there are several ex-Canberrans playing first-class cricket, such as Will Sheridan (Victoria), Jason Behrendorff (WA), Jason Floros (Queensland), Nick Winter (SA) and Tom Rogers (Tasmania). It’s always been the same – and it’s the same for those from Townsville, Geraldton, Innamincka – you want to be taken seriously, you leave. And until the ACT gets a Sheffield Shield team, that’s how it will stay. And that’s why they want one.

Mike Veletta had played 12 years of first-class cricket when it was put to him that he might like to captain-coach the fledgling one-day team called the ACT Comets in the Mercantile Mutual Cup. There was a job in property with a reputable firm. There was a chance to learn about coaching. It ticked a few boxes. But jeez, it was different to Perth. “They flew my wife and I over to Canberra in July, and you can imagine the weather,” Veletta remembers. “It was horrible. Four days later we got on the flight home, my wife said, ‘Thanks for that – I don’t need to see any more.’

“A month later we were there.” The move was still a punt for Veletta. The Comets were still an idea, there wasn’t actual confirmation that they’d be a firstclass entity. Yet he rocked up for pre-season training and learned things were done a little differently in the Bush Capital.

“I was told the first pre-season game was always against Manly, and they’d always stay at the Steyne Hotel,” says Veletta. “It wasn’t going to be a typical cricket tour. So we played against Manly and spent a long weekend at the pub! It was pointless going to bed early. It was a great way to get to know your team-mates and a great introduction to ACT cricket.”

Veletta was allocated a local club, Weston Creek, and was expected to dominate. Yet conditions were so different to Perth that he battled. “The pitches were average, really. Average bowlers could get wickets. It took me a while to work it out.” But he grew to love it. He was captaining guys for whom the interstate one-day competition would be the highlight of their careers. He found it refreshing that people played for love alone, and were proud to represent a tight-knit community.

Yet after three seasons and 18 one-day matches, the Comets were axed. Solway blames politics. And Cricket Australia. And a few other things. “Cricket Australia [then the Australian Cricket Board] showed a lack of vision,” Solway says. “It was shortsighted. It was voted on by states thinking about what they had to lose rather than the good of Australian cricket. Denis Rogers from Tasmania was chairman of the board. He drove it. Tasmania and South Australia were thinking about what they had to lose.

“We had players coming to Canberra to get an opportunity. Instead of going to Tassie, they were coming here. We were always keen to play first-class cricket. And I reckon it scared people. “But more teams wouldn’t weaken the standard. Australia’s had the same six state teams forever. Cricket’s set in its ways. And look how we’re going.” The Comets had their supporters. Alan Crompton was one. Geoff Lawson was coach of NSW and saw the ACT as a good destination for kids from his region of Wagga Wagga and the Riverina.

“I asked people on the cricket board why the team was axed and their responses were very political,” says Veletta. “It didn’t make sense. In regional cricket, the ACT could’ve played a huge role. I always thought for all the country guys between Sydney and Melbourne, the one-day comp would’ve been a great stepping stone.” In terms of cricket competition, though, the territory was, and remains, a fairly poor cousin to the metropolitan centres. It’s seen as a nudge above the comps in Newcastle, Ballarat, Sunshine Coast. Sydney boys will tell you Futures League games against the ACT are like hard first-grade games. Good cricket – nothing you can’t cop.

Today the Comets – which played its last, first-class 50-over matches in February of 2000 – are the ACT/NSW Country Comets and play List A Futures League fixtures against state second XIs, academies, and various mobs of young turks. Locals lament that the Comets are a de facto NSW side. Trent Copeland recently played “back”. There was a Comets teams that played recently, didn’t have any ACT players in it. And this when Sydney grade cricket’s yearning for their people. One assumes Pat Howard’s KPIs are being ticked. “It disappoints me that the Futures comp is ACT and NSW combined,” says Veletta.

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