#desmond is turned into an animal subgenre

[teecupangel]

Hate to be that person crouding your asks but... you know the thing girls say to their boyfriends?

'would you still love me if i was a worm?' ...that but with Desmond actually turning in to one

As long as you don’t mind how long it takes me to answer asks or reply to you guys, cloud away XD

We have a Worm!Desmond idea before but the caveat for that one is that Worm!Desmond has the ability to actually turn into a big worm.

In this one, Desmond has no special power.

He’s absolutely just a normal worm.

But to give him a ‘helping hand’, we’ll make his life a bit easier by having a ‘fated meeting’ with his human ‘partner’ (there is no way in hell that Desmond would let anyone call them his master, even if he is, for all intent and purposes, absolutely the pet in this situation.

For Altaïr, he actually meets worm!Desmond while he was hiding to stop other people from seeing him cry over the death of his father. He takes Desmond in and actually hides him in their room, slowly building a habitat for him while he’s training. By the time Altaïr is an Assassin, Desmond already taken an entire wall for his ‘room’ and is living the best worm life XD

For Ezio, we’re going for a more angst-y version. He’s actually Petruccio’s pet that Petruccio was nurtured. When they were attacked, Desmond’s ‘home’ was destroyed and Ezio actually found him when he came back to get Giovanni’s robes. Desmond had been crawling towards him and Ezio almost stepped on him before taking him in.

For Ratonhnhaké:ton, we’ll spice things up and make him connected to Shay. Specifically, Shay and Liam are actually the ones taking care of him, giving him a home in the homestead. When Shay defected and killed Liam, Achilles didn’t have the heart to kill the worm and just gave it food and left it alone in the office. Ratonhnhaké:ton started taking care of him afterwards and would sometimes talk to him, mostly to complain about Achilles and to tell him what has happened in the homestead.

Edward, Arno and the Frye twins have similar setups.

For Edward, he already had a home in the captain’s quarters in the Jackdaw and Edward just continued to feed him. Desmond actually didn’t know Edward was a Kenway until much later. He just thought Edward was some pirate dude that didn’t mind feeding some random worm.

In Arno’s case, Desmond’s home is right next to the chest that held the cafe’s profit and Arno learned the tradition of leaving Desmond food whenever anyone put or took money from the chest. He would learn later on that the one who started that tradition was Bellec who saved Desmond from being used as fish bait. (Bellec was absolutely plastered when he announced that he was keeping Desmond as a pet and is too proud to go against his drunk self’s proclamation)

The Frye twins have no idea where Desmond came from. He was already in a very nice home (kinda like a repurposed aquarium) and no one felt the need to be a dick and kill him so he just eats and watches the drama unfolding between the Frye twins in the comforts of his home in the train the twins hijacked.

Kassandra’s of a similar ‘boat’. Desmond was already part of the Adrestia’s décor and no one really bothered to tell her if Desmond was meant to be there or not. Everyone just feeds him and keeps him safe in a little home inside.

Bayek, on the other hand, travels with Desmond because… he really has no idea why. The worm had been Khemu’s and Desmond just tried to follow him even after Bayek tried to give him to a friend he knew would take care of him. No, Desmond will not become any kind of Hidden One symbol. He’s so small, barely no one notices that Bayek carries him around XD

Okay, so I’m fusing Eivor’s and Basim’s idea because they’re connected. Basim actually keeps Desmond for one single purpose. After Enkidu refuses to come near him, Enkidu visited him once and left a worm by his feet before flying off. Desmond is actually the last ‘gift’ Basim got and he named Desmond ‘Gilgamesh’. Did his Loki senses ping anything about Desmond? Who knows XD What matters is, after Basim gets suckered into Yggdrasil, Eivor took Desmond off Basim’s clothes and gave him to Hytham. She knew that Basim cared for the worm (most of the time, talking to the worm as if the worm could understand him) and it felt right for the worm to be given to Hytham. … Desmond is just reeling from the fact that he spent years accompanying some kind of human being possessed by an Isu or something (he doesn’t know that was a thing XD)

[teecupangel]

If you want to go for Teostra, you should know that he has a female counterpart with Lunastra:

(Teostra in the bg being a supportive mate)

If you… you know, want to incorporate her, she’s known as the less aggressive of the two and produces blue flames.

As for Teostra, I think they have similar horns? I’m not gonna lie, they’re so aggressive it’s kinda hard to just stare at them while they’re trying to kill you to check the differences (and it doesn’t help I use an Insect Glaive so I’m mostly flying everywhere). Here are some screenshots from the MonHun wiki though? Risen Teostra doesn’t have that many images in the wiki. This is the best I found that has his horns. (Left is normal, right is Risen doing a special attack)

(by the way, look at the size of the hunter in comparison. Teostra might be bigger than you're expecting? XD)

As for his poisonous tails…

There’s actually a few scorpion-like monsters in MonHun but, strangely enough, only one of them has a poison status effect:

The Kusubami

From my experience, usually poisonous monsters that uses their tail for poison have spiky tails.

Rathians and Ratalos are the most commonly known elder dragons that can inflict poison and they have spiky tails that can actually be used as projectiles:

Of course, there are also these variations of the Nargacuga, a monster that is both fast and can turn invisible.

There’s also the variation of a Viper Tobi-Kadachi which has poison on its fangs and tail.

Ngl, when I saw your tagged post about the Nergigante, I immediately had war flashbacks of me and my friend playing MonHun. Nergigante’s a beast (haha).

Nergigante is actually a good monster to turn Desmond into because it’s an elder dragon which means it’s one of the most dangerous monster in any MonHun game but it has a certain quirk to it:

It keeps fighting even if it means hurting itself.

Not to mention, it’s an elder dragon without any elemental abilities, relying heavily on brute force and it’s theorized (or maybe this is already confirmed? Not sure) that Nergigante’s null elemental status and its penchant for hunting fellow elder dragons shows that it is meant to keep the balance of the world by keeping the other elder dragons in check which would… sorta tie in with Desmond’s ‘special situation’ in terms of AC lore (especially now that he’s the Reader).

The spikes on Nergigante’s body can also be used as projectile which would make short work of Cesare’s Papal Army. Although, it should be noted that due to its large body, it’s more on the destructive side so if you want him to stop the colonizers from attacking Ratonhnhaké:ton’s tribe, it would be better for him to strike them before they reach the village, otherwise, the village would be caught in the battle.

As for saving Sef and Malik and Abbas’ coup, that would even be harder because Masyaf is a small space when compared to the normal Nergigante size. Although, at that point, I’m sure Desmond wouldn’t care about destroying the fortress if it means he can save Sef and Malik.

Another thing to note is that the Nergigante’s spikes regenerate (freaking too fast in my opinion) so… Altaïr can definitely use it to craft some things. (Nergigante-based armor and weapons usually rank high as well)

Btw, if you want Desmond to have a more ethereal flaming look, may I suggest a gold/white version of Xeno'jiiva?

While Xeno'jiiva does not have Nergigante’s devastating brute force, it does have a sense of mystery surrounding it, which would fit Desmond well, and is a fire elemental elder dragon (. It’s final form Safi'jiiva loses the ethereal look but is deadlier as well.

Although, if you want a monster with a connection with the sun, our best bet is Teostra.

Or the deadlier variant, the Risen Teostra

*******************************************************************************************

Additions by SaberAmane:

Ok, so…I have Monster Hunter World for ps4, and I’ve had it for literal months now, and just havn’t gotten time to play it. But all the monsters and such I’ve seen from the game look awesome and is the main reason I got it to play.

Now for Nergigante, his size would cause issue for doing anything in towns, or dense forests, but I love the fact that Altair could use the spikes from his body to make weapons and armor, and it wouldn’t hurt Desmond at all since they detach organically.

Xeno’jiiva looks even cooler, and yes a white/gold variation would be stunning! Also I love the ‘false eyes’ look that travel up the horns, it’s something a lot of animals do to protect themselves (there’s a moth/butterfly that literally has wings that look like a snakes head) but also it’s just a cool look, and it seems like they might be able to glow as well? That would just make him all the more menacing.

But I have to say, for my love of dragons and related creatures, Teostra would have to be my favorite choice. It seems to be a type of Manticore, which is just awesome and a fantasy creature that doesn’t often get used because Dragons are seen as being ‘cooler’ and often more menacing.

My argument would be, how is a lion/dragon hybrid, which is usually venomous/poisonous, and can fit into the same space a human would go to hide, not just as cool and deadly??

The Risen Teostra looks more manticore than the regular, having a more lion-like face, but I do like the giant tusks the regular one has. And it’s probably the rendering or angle or something, but the regular Teostra seems to have bigger, more ‘ornate’ horns??

So…I would have to say Teostra would be my pick. It’s still deadly, looks cool, can fly to get places quickly, but also… you can’t hide in a building/cave to get away from it because it’s too big to fit. It can pretty much go where ever a person can. The only thing i’d change is to give it the scorpion tail manticore’s typically have so he could have that poison ability to both use himself on enemies, but to also aid the Assassin’s.

[teecupangel]

Hi Teacup! Sorry for the long post in advance. This idea has been plaguing me for ages, so now everyone else gets to suffer too.

I would like to add to the Desmond menagerie with the biggest badass of the avails to ever live: The Hasst Eagle. The Hasst Eagle was around 15kgs with a 3m wingspan and hunted prey 13 times its own size. No one in any time period could think Desmond is an ordinary eagle.

Ratonhnhaké:ton's village would take one look at Desmond the toddler sized bird and go definitely a spirit.

I also have the wonderful image of Desmond saving Petruccio by just picking him up and flying off in my head (I might be overestimating Desmonds strength and underestimating Petruccio's size, but I found funny imagining the guards faces). And then I remembered the story of Zeus and Ganymede; which made me imagine Ezio chasing down Desmond and threatening to pluck him if he even thinks about taking Petruccio's purity.

It’s really huge, that’s for sure.

Giovanni knew of the Desmond.

The large eagle of legends, the guardian of the Brotherhood.

He had grown up listening to his father tell stories of Altaïr Ibn-La'Ahad and his great eagle. How the large bird’s shadow brought fear to the Templars who see it. How fast it was even when it was bigger than any other birds.

How intelligent it was, using gestures to communicate with his chosen one.

How it had served as the guardian and godfather of Altaïr Ibn-La'Ahad’s children.

It had seemed like a tall tale but Giovanni never doubted it.

How could he?

When the great eagle was painted over the ceiling of the Sanctuary below Monteriggioni.

He had no reasons to doubt its existence.

But he never talked about the eagle of legends to his children. The Templars would know about the Desmond.

It was too much of a risk, telling the stories to children who could just as easily talk about it to others.

Unintentionally catch the ears of the wrong people.

But now he deeply regretted it.

“Ezio, stop!” Giovanni shouted, unable to keep the panic out of his voice.

How could he?

His second son, a cheerful boy of the age of six, was trying to beat the eagle of legend with a stick, shouting at the eagle loudly, “Go away! Shoo! Shoo!”

“Ezio!” Giovanni shouted, grabbing Ezio’s wrist before he could smack the eagle once more.

Not that he was able to.

Any time the stick was even close to hitting the bird, the Desmond simply flicked one of its wing, parrying the strike and causing Ezio to stagger backwards.

Ezio was a stubborn child though and he would continue to try and hit the bird even as it simply parried all his strikes.

Once it was clear that Ezio couldn’t whack the bird, he turned to his father as he shouted, “Petruccio!”

Giovanni was about to ask what he meant by that but the Desmond lifted its wings, showing his youngest son softly giggling as he tried to crawl away from the bird. One of the bird’s talons was gripping Petruccio’s clothes, keeping the boy still.

Giovanni’s eyes widened as he realized that they were in the second floor balcony that Petruccio’s room had. It was always meant to be locked considering Petruccio was a curious child.

And the railings had enough distance between each pillar that Petruccio could slip through.

The Desmond stared at Giovanni expectantly as it slowly lifted its talon and Giovanni used his other hand to scoop his youngest son into his arms while the baby tried to crawl to the railings.

“Thank you.” Giovanni said as he bowed deeply at the bird, earning a confused frown from Ezio.

The bird simply shook its body, reminding Giovanni of a man stretchering before the bird turned to stare at Ezio. It lifted one of its wings and Giovanni’s blood ran cold, worried about how much Ezio had offended the bird.

The bird did not try to hurt Ezio though. Instead, it used its wing to pat Ezio’s head three times before hopping away. It flapped its wings and flew out of the balcony.

And Giovanni finally let out a relieved sigh.

[teecupangel]

Colossal Squid! Desmond and I'll give you my bones

“Have you heard the legends of the Kraken, Shay?”

“Every sailor has.” Shay answered politely, glancing at their guest.

Even as bitter wind gripped its claws at them, Haytham Kenway looked as prim and proper as a gentleman on his way to watch an opera.

Shay, on the other hand, had pulled the fabric around his neck up to cover his freezing nose.

“And do the stories tell of the Kraken a monster that destroys without any care of one’s status or upbringing?”

“The sea is a cruel mistress to all, Master Kenway.” Shay answered, glancing to his right. Gist just shrugged, obviously also a bit confused to why Haytham Kenway was talking about the Kraken all of a sudden.

“Yes, she is.” Haytham agreed as he walked towards the bow of the ship, “But the Kraken is not cruel.”

“He is playful and intelligent. He also has the habit of trying to show his displeasure using his limbs.” Haytham continued, making the other crew members stare at him, forgetting their tasks as they listened to a man who sounded like he knew the Kraken himself, “But above all else…”

“He is one ugly squid.” Haytham commented.

They would have laughed at that but the waters beneath them grew dark almost immediately.

Large tentacles rose from the depths and the crew shouted in fear and surprise.

Shay immediately ordered them to main the cannons but stopped when Haytham said, “It is no use. Human weaponry does not work on him.”

Shay froze, noticing that what he had thought to have been sunlight against the tentacles was actually…

Glowing lines that reminded Shay of the light of that device back in Lisbon.

For a brief moment, Shay was paralyzed, the fear and pain of that day flashing before him.

Haytham was still speaking and Shay tried to focus on his voice.

Haytham wasn’t there in Lisbon.

Shay wasn’t there in Lisbon anymore.

Haytham was his anchor to the present.

“The Kraken is what those who know nothing call him. The Templars though… had a different name for him.” Haytham continued calmly, as if the ship had not been kept in place by tentacles coiling all around it. There was no creaking sound and that only made Shay more frightened.

The Kraken knew how to control its strength so it wouldn’t damage the ship, only keep it immobilized.

That kind of intelligence…

“Desmond.”

Shay frowned.

Where have he heard the name before?

“The sea monster that Altaïr Ibn-La'Ahad tamed. The ruler of the seas that cares for the Assassin Brotherhood.”

That’s right.

Shay heard Adéwalé talked about a ‘Desmond’ before. Shay had thought it was some kind of pet because Adéwalé talked about how it followed his old friend whenever he sailed.

One of the tentacles reach out towards Haytham and Shay shouted, “Master Kenway!”

Haytham raised a hand, stopping Shay from unsheathing his dual blades.

“Do not move, do not speak, do not even think.” Haytham ordered calmly, “He is here for me.”

“Will this be the day you drag me into the depths, Desmond?” Haytham asked, a slight curiosity in his tone, “Or will you still prolong this dance we share?”

The tentacle wrapped around his neck but, with how big the tentacle was, it wrapped his entire upper body instead.

Haytham didn’t seem worried, looking at the sea below as he stood at the very tip of the bow, “Well?”

Shay and the rest of the crew could only stare, frozen by fear and confusion, as Haytham was slowly lifted.

… before he was placed in the center of the ship. The tentacles uncoil around him slowly. There was a pause before it flicked Haytham’s hat off and Haytham simply gave a tired sigh.

The tentacles let go of the ship and returned to the depths of the sea.

It took a few seconds before the water returned to its normal color.

The entire crew gave out a relieved sigh as many of them fell on their asses.

“Master Kenway, what was that?” Shay asked and all of them turned to stare at the mysterious man as he picked up his hat.

“That was Desmond.” Haytham said as if he was just introducing a family friend he didn’t get along with, “The Sea Scourge of the Templars. He attacks every ship that shows its Templar affiliation. He won’t attack this ship though.”

“It won’t?” Shay couldn’t stop himself from sounding skeptical.

“As long as I sail with you, he will not.” Haytham said.

“Why?”

“Because that squid still believes I am my father’s son.”

[teecupangel]

What if Desmond reincarnated as a dog in Hannibal (NBC)?

I immediately assumed you mean one of Will’s dogs and not, like, a random dog so the idea will be for Desmond being reborn as one of Will’s dogs for this one.

He’d be a pup that Will takes care of after finding it half dead near his home, nursing him back to health. This would give Desmond time to adjust to his new body and for Will to assume Desmond’s awkwardness and clumsiness are both because he’s a malnourished pup.

By the time season 1 of Hanniball rolls around, Desmond would be an adult dog. Most definitely the youngest of Will’s dogs but he had shown that he was top dog.

… by accident.

He truly wasn’t planning to do anything. Will was mostly a chill dude who definitely has a chip on his shoulder and Desmond has no idea how to be a service dog at all so he just tries to support Will the best he can. Make sure he remembers to meal time (although Will did assume it was a dog reminding Will to feed them) and that he has a… ‘paw’ to lean on when he’s starting to spiral.

One time, the dogs were getting rowdy while Will was sleeping and Desmond had to put a stop to them because Will has not been sleeping well for the past few days. He wasn’t going to let their barking and rough housing wake Will now that he was actually sleeping.

When Will woke up, Desmond had taken the ‘not actually there’ throne and, really, he has no excuses for why this happened. He was just as confused.

Will knows Desmond is more intelligent than most dogs but he tries not to show it because he doesn’t want people to start thinking he was crazier than usual.

He does bring Desmond with him to work when he’s having a bad day, not because he wants to but because Desmond always has a keen sense when he’s having a bad day and would follow him no matter what. The first two times Will tried to keep Desmond inside, Desmond found a way to hitch a ride on his car while Will wasn’t looking.

Will was actually worried that, one day, Desmond would try to follow him on foot so he just brings Desmond to make sure nothing happens.

So Desmond knows that Will is in charge of figuring out the most gruesome shit. He wished Will didn’t have to and he’s annoyed that he’s not allowed to be near Will when he’s in a crime scene because dog fur and all that but he tries his best.

… while trying to listen in if there was any hints of the Brotherhood or the Templars in this world. He highly doubt it since there was no Abstergo but he’s still going to try and listen in (he has, in many occasion, turned on the tv while Will is away to check the local news and other shows, especially history channel)

So he was there when Will first met Hannibal.

And he could smell the blood that clung to Hannibal.

[teecupangel]

The comments of this post are too funny not to reblog. (have some of my quick meme edits)

@zero-saito

That would be super cute!! Desmond would do lots of ‘tricks’ for Leo while Ezio swears the cat is the devil incarnate 😂

@thedragonqueen1998

Lol, Desmond is just a little shit to everyone else, but Leonardo. XD

@blue-cat-ter-flies-blog

@thedragonqueen1998 in addition to this- either Leonardo doesn't know and thinks Desmond is a little angel OR he knows and encourages this to also be a little shit

@thedragonqueen1998

@blue-cat-ter-flies-blog either is equally funny. though, we can have moments where Desmond stares directly at Ezio behind Leonardos back if we go with the "innocent angel" route. XD

@blue-cat-ter-flies-blog

@thedragonqueen1998 Desmond: Ezio, you're pretty much my favourite ancestor but this is too funny to not do so Godspeed, my dude

@blue-cat-ter-flies-blog

@thedragonqueen1998 Desmond: *pulls a Miette by Ezio's feet*

@ma-du

@blue-cat-ter-flies-blog Did you just kicked Desmond's body like a football? jail! Jail for Ezio! Jail for one thousand years!

@thedragonqueen1998

@ma-du Ezio would think he legit hurt Desmond and just hold him, all teary eyed, begging for forgivness. And Desmond is just there too shocked to do anything. XD

@ma-du

@thedragonqueen1998 Ezio will be crying his eyes out, and Desmond will be like It's okay man, stop crying *pats on the back*

@teecupangel from the series Leonardo @ Cat!Desmond:

[teecupangel]

pomeranian desmond. i have a pet pomeranian and she's very sassy and once bitch slapped me so i imagine desmond will be even worse. also even funnier: historical sized pomeranian desmond (they used to be big dog sized)

Desmond would be a pure white pomeranian with an average size for a modern day when he gets transported into the past.

And he won’t realize that he’s actually what would be more or less considered a pomeranian pup at the moment.

After that, he’d actually be more worried that some Isu BS is at play and he’s going to keep growing until he’s the size of a horse.

Maybe even bigger than that.

(He won’t. Unless… we want to screw with him some more XD)

Desmond is gonna be the sassiest dog everyone would ever meet. He can give the dog equivalent of a bitchface and has, in many occasions bitchslapped someone.

His favorite ‘game’ though is barking when he knows someone is trying to sneak away from their responsibility.

Or when he just wants to get people’s attention to something suspicious.

He’s a good Assassin dog.

The best actually.

But he definitely has an attitude.

Desmond doesn’t care though. He’s been turned into a dog.

He’ll do whatever the hell he wants and act the way he wants.

And then…

(Depending on where he’s first kicked at in the past)

Malik tells him that he’s acting like Altaïr when Altaïr was being a dick

OR

Ezio jokes that he’s acting like Claudia when she was young

OR

Ratonhnhaké:ton mused that he acts a lot like Haytham Kenway

…

…

…

Desmond is offended.

... he's still not going to change though.

[teecupangel]

Not to add on to the pile of Desmond-as-animal but I had an idea: Saber toothed cat.

They’re fast: sprinters that could go up to ~35 mph)

Large: the biggest of the three smilodon species were over six feet long and three feet tall.

Deadly: massive 8 inch long fangs and other precision hunting teeth. Weaker bite force meant the jaw could open wider allowing it to open its mouth almost 120 degrees.

Could jump high and far: 12 feet high and over 20 feet far most likely (based on bone and muscle comparisons to modern big cats).

While the color is unknown since we have no dna samples or anything, it was likely a tawny or tan color possibly with spots or stripes which could possibly allow it to camouflage in the Levant where the animals generally are tan to camouflage in with the sand.

It’s not known for sure, but they may have been intelligent enough to hunt in packs.

They would have had to have been fierce predators to compete with other carnivores like short-faced bears and dire wolves and to take down the large herbivorous megafauna that would have been their prey.

In conclusion: Smilodon!Desmond would be badass and terrifying and I spent way too much time researching this.

Imagine being an Assassin old enough to remember how adorable the chubby cat Altaïr brought home after being gone for an entire day.

How no one had the heart to tell the young boy no a day after his father died. They had been worried he had run away to try and take revenge. They’re just glad he had returned safe and sound.

So they didn’t think much of the cat he brought. It was… well, it wasn’t a replacement for Umar, of course. But if it helps the child heal then no one had the heart to tell him no.

Then…

The cat started to grow.

What they had thought to be a ‘cat’ was actually a kitten.

And it definitely grew bigger than they expected.

But it was a very lazy cat.

The only time it stopped sunbathing and scaring the living daylights of everyone who sees it jump as high as it could to reach the top of the tower (it’s main sunbathing spot), it would be hunting nearby.

Which was a good thing because there was no way the person in charge of the coffers would agree to use their own resources to feed such a large predator.

Especially since any attempts to train it to be an attack animal failed. (The beast would charge any who dare try and sit on them until Altaïr comes and tell his… animal companion to get off)

The beast was also quite selfish, only willing to share its hunt with Altaïr and Kadar.

Kadar, bless him, believes that the beast is just a fluffy pet.

Ignoring the fangs and the claws and…

Really, the only reason why not many people were talking about Altaïr’s beastly companion was because it could be stealthy whenever it wanted to.

Many even didn’t realize that it had left Masyaf to join Altaïr on his missions until they have returned.

Because of this, Altaïr had his own personal horse that no one was allowed to use.

It was the only horse that didn’t get spooked when the beast was nearby.

So no one was surprised when the beast left with Altaïr, Malik and Kadar for their mission in Jerusalem.

And when they returned…

“Desmond ate the treasure!”

…

…

Really.

They should honestly be surprised.

But they really weren’t.

Oh, they hoped Al Mualim doesn’t order for the beast to be carved.

Altaïr would slit his throat before anyone could stop him.

[teecupangel]

There's plenty of Desmond dog asks, but has a chihuahua one been made? Just imagine Altaïr carrying a small handbag looking thing with this miniature dog in it that just gives you the stink eye. If anyone other than Altaïr, Malik or Kadar tries to pet him, he screams for Altaïr. Abbas tried to pick up the "purse rat" once and never again. No one knows where Desmond made of with the finger. Not even Altaïr.

Let’s add this with @saberamane’s idea from this post:

@teecupangel for the 'desmond as a...' subgenre, where dog Desmond is trying to argue with his ancestor over their stupid idea and it's not working because the ancestor can't understand him, and/or is mocking him with their own 'barks'.

.

.

.

“Desmond, we both know that you’re more intelligent that people believe you are.”

“Arf?”

“Acting cute will not get you anywhere.”

“Arrfff <3”

“Desmond, stop. We’re having this conversation whether you want to or not.”

“Rch.”

“Did you… did you just click your tongue?”

“Arf?”

“Desmond, this is serious. I need you to tell me where you put Abbas’ middle finger.”

“Arrrffff…”

“Pretending to yawn will not end this conversation.”

“Arf-”

“I swear if you try to sleep, I will shake you hard enough that everyone will believe I’m trying to murder you.”

“……..”

“……….”

“Arf arf arrrff!”

“Desmond-”

“Arf! Arf! Arf!”

“Desmond, stop-”

“Arfarfarf”

“Acting childish will not-”

“ARF ARF ARF”

“Desmond!” Altaïr’s tone was more an animalistic growl and that finally stopped Desmond’s insistent yapping.

They stared at each other for a moment before Desmond began to growl as well.

“Desmond.” Altaïr growled back, “Behave.”

Desmond continued to growl.

And Altaïr answered it with a growl of his own.

.

.

.

Malik quietly closed the door to Altaïr’s private chambers and walked away. At the end of the hallway, Kadar was waiting, fidgeting in place. He stared at his brother with a worried expression as he asked, “How’s… how’s Desmond and Altaïr? Are they both okay? Does Altaïr know if Desmond…”

Kadar’s expression turned green as he continued, “… ate Abbas’ finger?”

Malik remembered the way the two had been growling at each other and felt a headache already hammering in his head.

Malik sighed and rubbed his face as he said, “I will speak to Al Mualim in Altaïr’s behalf. Desmond is shaking.”

-probably because he was trying to act all strong against Altaïr’s own growling.

“Oh, poor boy. Abbas must have scared him so much. There’s no way he would have bitten him, right?” Kadar made his own conclusions and Malik hoped Al Mualim do as well.

Considering how much of two-faced Desmond truly was, appearing sweet and adorable to the three of them but acting like a hellhound stuck in that small body of his to Abbas…

No.

Malik believed that Desmond did not bite off Abbas’ finger.

He actually believed that Desmond got another animal to do it for him.

He was that deviously clever like his owner, after all.

[teecupangel]

From @saberamane’s reblog of this majestic leucistic moose

@teecupangel Desmond as a big ass white moose walking through Masyaf/Firenze/Boston looking for Altair/Ezio/Ratonhnhaké:ton because he needs to figure out where in the timeline he is so he can plan his next step. ...after he finds out if he can return to a human form. Being this big and blatant is attracting too much attention. (Surprise! He's stuck as a moose.)

“Good morning, Altaïr!” The informant cheerfully greeted him, either not caring or not seeing the darkness on the face of the Master Assassin turned novice.

‘Ah, he must have talked to Malik.’ The informant noted, deciding to just ignore the murderous air around Altaïr.

He knew Altaïr wouldn’t attack him. For all the bad rumors going around about his personality, everyone knew that Altaïr didn’t attack without a good reason.

“I assume you wish for information about a certain someone?” The informant asked lightly, “I may have something that may be of use…”

Altaïr’s eyebrow twitched when it became clear that the informant was not going to continue talking. He took a deep breath before he asked through gritted teeth, “What do you need from me?”

“A little of your time and talent, my friend!” The informant patted his shoulder and kept the hand there. When he saw Altaïr glare at the offending hand, he simply patted him again.

Perhaps he should care more about his life but he trusted Altaïr not to do anything.

He did pity the next man that Altaïr would have to ‘interrogate’.

“The guards have captured an animal. A supposed sacred animal from God.”

Altaïr’s lips curled into a frown.

“The guards have been guarding-” He waited for a reaction but just shrugged when Altaïr just glared at him, “-this sacred animal west of here, in the guards’ main base of operation.”

“Malik believes that I can slip inside and find out what this animal is supposed to be.” The informant continued, placing his other hand on his chest as he said with a nod, “I am honored by Malik’s trust of my abilities.”

“Yet here you are, asking me to be the one to slip inside and find out what this animal is.” Altaïr reminded him dryly.

“Knowing people who could do a better job and having the means to make them do it in your stead is also a kind of ability, my friend.” The informant countered with a smile. He patted Altaïr’s shoulder once more, ignoring the way Altaïr looked ready to smack it off hard enough to topple him to the ground, as he said, “All I need is to know what kind of animal it is, Altaïr. I will wait for you here, my friend!”

He placed his other hand on Altaïr’s shoulder, ignoring the warning glare Altaïr gave him as he said cheerfully, “I believe in you, Altaïr.”

.

20 minutes later, the entire city is engulfed in complete chaos as news of a hooded man, rumored to be an Assassin, was riding the sacred animal all over the city to evade the guards sent to hunt them down.

The informant paused and asked the most important question.

“And what is this sacred animal supposed to be?”

[teecupangel]

NEW POKÉMON IDEA

Desmond as a Ditto. I got nothing else, just imagining Desmond waking up as a Ditto and being so fuckin confused the first time he accidentally shapeshifts into a new Pokémon.

I’m just imagining Desmond waking up as a lil Ditto with Ditto parents who taught him how to shapeshift. Desmond can’t understand them at all with their “Ditto, Ditto” language but he managed to get what they’re trying to say.

Later on, when his parents hatched new Dittos, he leaves the small peaceful forest they were in and shapeshifts into a Pidgey and took flight.

The other Pidgeys and their evolutions see his eyes and they stay far away but that was fine.

Desmond just wanted to look around this new world he finds himself in.

A few months later, the gym leaders all hear about a young man, older than the usual trainers trying to get a badge from their gyms, battling the first gym leader and winning his first badge.

He wears a white hood and a full white mask that covers his entire face.

He does not speak, instead using hand gestures or using a text to speech app on his phone.

Why did the other gym leaders give them a head’s up?

Because he doesn’t order his Pokemons around, simply letting them fight freely.

(Of course Desmond can’t talk. The only thing he can say is “Ditto”. Also, he got the Pokeballs from the local evil organization of that continent. He also has a companion Ditto that stays by his shoulder who may or may not be his younger sibling, he’s not entirely sure. The Ditto just started following him around after a Pidgey and stayed with him. Now, every time a Pokedex register him, he gets the excuse of ‘saying’ the Pokedex was registering the Ditto that was clinging to him)

[teecupangel]

Ok so been researching some animals when I came across the Titanoboa and I went "Desmond as this would be very funny hehe" because imagine seeing that! A normal snake is pretty anxiety inducing enough, a giant one is a nightmare come true XD

If you wanna know just how long the titanoboa was supposed to be, here you go:

You know what would be funny?

If Desmond was ‘hibernating’ for so long his white scales actually looked like they were stone or mud thanks to all the dirt around him because he was sleeping in…

A very prominent location.

.

Altaïr knew that something strange was going on because he swear some parts of this underground ‘building’ were moving.

He wasn’t going to say it to Malik and Kadar though because he knew that they wouldn’t believe him. Well, Malik wouldn’t believe him but Kadar would definitely be more paranoid, fearing that perhaps they were being played with by a djinn or some other rot.

Then they reached the main chamber where Robert de Sablé appeared and Altaïr confronted him.

He was thrown across the room.

And into a wall…

That started to move against his back.

And all he could do was stare at the walls all started to move.

And golden eyes stared at them from where the supposed treasure was meant to be.

.

Ezio knew something was wrong the moment he stepped into the supposed resting place of God himself.

At least, that was what Rodrigo Borgia believed.

The walls…

They feel like they were moving…

But Ezio couldn’t be entirely sure that it wasn’t just his imaginations getting the best of him. So he continued to walk forward, wary of what lies at the end of this corridor.

Only to freeze when he reached an open room.

Where the head of a giant snake turn to stare at him.

Rodrigo Borgia was wrong.

God did not sleep here.

It was the serpent…

The serpent who had tempted Eve with the forbidden fruit.

.

…

Okay. So the one for Ratonhnhaké:ton is a problem. If we add Edward here, that would be easy because the Observatory is right there. Hell, he could even be an ‘experiment’ that Aita kept hidden.

Or, if you want to go down the route of Desmond being reborn or having the past life of Aita and Juno’s child, their human experiments were all to find a cure to their son who has been turned into a large snake OR all studies on how to keep their son alive during the Solar Flare.

Unfortunately, Ratonhnhaké:ton would be the odd man out of Desmond’s ancestors as he doesn’t enter any Isu facilities that we know of. Of course, we can just make Desmond sleep in the forest near his village or, more dramatically, inside the Grand Temple that he managed to escape from just in time to save Ratonhnhaké:ton from Charles Lee? Those could work?

(Sidebar: Desmond being a giant snake could also make this a “Desmond is Midgarsormen, one of Loki’s children” idea)

[teecupangel]

Starling Desmond? Those guys are wild, especially when they start mimicking machines and people talking.

They’re super pretty too. Look at that metallic shine.

Also… here’s a video of a starling mimicking a human voice, making R2D2 sounds, making kissy-kissy noises and whistling.

Desmond would definitely use it to his advantage. He has the ability to mimic a human’s voice with the memories of multiple languages.

Which means…

He can pretend to be haunting Templars.

At that point, they wouldn’t even think that a bird was the source of all those voices.

And even if they see Desmond talk, they would assume he’s possessed.

Oh.

And I suppose he can also talk to his ancestors while he’s at it. XD

Desmond might get the ‘title’ of Devil Bird from the Templars while his ancestors just call him “Desmond, the talking bird”.

I feel like, in this case, we should give Desmond a handicap. He can’t speak long sentences, only short ones. But that’s enough to converse with his ancestors and scare the shit out of the Templars.

Desmond also only speak to his ancestors when he’s sure they’re alone or with someone they trust (ex: Malik and Kadar, the Auditores, …… Achilles later on)

There’s an inhuman quality to Desmond’s voice which he milks immediately. He tells the Templars their deepest secrets (Al Mualim) or prey upon their insecurities and weaknesses (Cesare).

To his ancestors? His voice takes a higher more birdsong tune and his ancestors actually believe the ‘Devil Bird’ is another bird altogether that has the same capability as Desmond, probably corrupted by the Apple.

It took them hearing Desmond intimidate Templars using that voice to understand that, yes, it was really their adorable companion making Templars fear the unknown.

(Leonardo absolutely loves him and sketches him a lot, adding him to his works whenever possible. In the future, the Starling would be seen as Leonardo’s favorite bird and a symbol of the arts. Florence might even try to make it the national bird because of Leonardo)

[teecupangel]

*chants* CAPYBARA DESMOND MILES! CAPYBARA DESMOND MILES!

Look at that little face:

They would probably first see Desmond somewhere with a body of water.

For Ratonhnhaké:ton, it would be when he first sees Aquila. He would be walking back to the manor and find Desmond following him. He’s never seen a capybara before but it seemed friendly enough and had went on his hind legs, raising his front legs as if to ask for Ratonhnhaké:ton to pick him up. Ratonhnhaké:ton does and he brings him to Achilles who admits to not knowing what Desmond is, only that ‘it’ usually stays inside the wreckage of the Aquila. Faulkner would probably have more information so Achilles suggested that Ratonhnhaké:ton talk to him (but also to not get distracted by the ‘rodent’, cue Desmond glaring at him) but Faulkner only knows as much as Achilles as the ‘thing’ appeared one day and never left until he followed Ratonhnhaké:ton anyway. At least, Faulkner was able to tell Ratonhnhaké:ton what Desmond likes to eat. Desmond spends most of his time in the manor and served more as a companion to Achilles who always gives him something to eat whenever Ratonhnhaké:ton is gone.

For Ezio, Desmond would actually be a gift from Machiavelli. A strange gift with Machiavelli saying “He reminds me of you” which Ezio and Desmond still aren’t sure if it’s meant to be a complement or not. Regardless, Desmond becomes the unofficial mascot of the Italian Brotherhood and is super spoiled by the other recruits. Claudia also teases her brother that Desmond (and Ezio didn’t know why he named the animal Desmond, it just seemed right) is the only child that Ezio would accept officially. It’s all said in jest as Ezio has no idea if he has any illegitimate children running around. (Claudia doesn’t believe it, Ezio is more on the fence, Machiavelli says the only way Ezio wouldn’t have any unknown children is if he can’t have children at all). So Desmond is treated like the mentor’s child more than pet and everyone spoils on him. Then Leonardo meets him and… Desmond began to appear in Leonardo Da Vinci’s works and sketches.

Altaïr would meet Desmond during his travels to one of his mission. A small pond or lake that he stopped by to let the horse rest. Altaïr would find Desmond flopping around the bank and they would stare at each other for a moment before Altaïr would turn around to ignore him. Desmond would probably be offended and ‘run’ after him, his feet making wet squishy sounds against the ground. Desmond would grab hold of the reins of Altaïr’s horse or maybe his robes and wouldn’t let go. Altaïr has no time to deal with this kind of tomfoolery but he couldn’t just kill this creature since it wasn’t dangerous. Annoying, sure. But innocent nonetheless. ……… and that is how… Altaïr finally manages to turn Malik speechless when he brings the creature with him to the bureau, letting the creature rest in his arms. Oh. And the creature waved at Malik and Malik was simply too confused that he instinctively waved back.

[teecupangel]

Ok ok ok I know you get a lot of Desmond-as-this-animal suggestions but hear me out: Desmond as a hummingbird. Like a ruby-throated hummingbird.

Like just the most unassuming, non-threatening bird ever. But they’re super fast and, it being Desmond, he’s be smart enough to actually scout out places and stuff. Just imagine, the Eagle of Masyaf, the guy who you’d assume would have a massive bird of prey as a companion, with a little hummingbird on his shoulder.

And if anyone insults him, the tiny bird just fuckin pokes their eye out.

Add in the idea that Altaïr would be smart enough to create some sort of ‘language’ between the two of them so Desmond could accurately report what he had scouted. Some of Desmond’s responses are:

Flying to the right – yes

Flying to the left – no

Flying upward – higher

Flying downward – lower (higher and lower are usually used when Altaïr is asking how many guards he saw and Altaïr would give a number)

Flying in a small clockwise circle – patrolling or on the move (usually meant to answer Altaïr’s question of ‘where’s the target’ or as part of Desmond’s report of how many guards he saw)

Even better if Altaïr has a map and Desmond could start marking stuff on the map as well.

When he’s not scouting, Desmond is usually sitting pretty in one of Altaïr’s pouches that Altaïr never secure. It’s halfway closed and there’s enough gap for Desmond to slip out of if ever.

Desmond likes to slip out of it and peck guards’ eyes out whenever Altaïr gets surrounded. He’s too fast and acts a bit like a decoy but Altaïr always scolds him afterwards because he believes Desmond is making too risky moves simply because he believed that he was faster than anyone else.

Desmond just stares at him and Altaïr felt like the bird was telling him that he, known for his arrogance and complete trust in his ability, of all people, cannot scold Desmond about that.

So Altaïr gets Malik to scold Desmond for him.

Malik is confused by all of these, especially after Altaïr explains to him that he always scolded Altaïr about it so he could scold Desmond too.

It was that moment Malik wondered if Altaïr was slowly unraveling before his eyes.

[teecupangel]

Do we have a Phonenix yet in the menagire? We need one.

Phoenix!Desmond, probably looking like a normal bird for the most part, and stays with Sef when they go after the mongols (Altair probably thinks he's getting too old he looked a bit ratty lately) and takes the hit when Swami tries to kill him.

Idk whether to have this crack or angest with them thinking Desmond died, had a chick, and was apparently a female bird the entire time.

Okay, so I was checking the Phoenix wiki page for any information if it would be possible that Altaïr would know what a phoenix is and there’s this part written by Herodotus (yes, Kassandra’s Herodotos)

[The Egyptians] have also another sacred bird called the phoenix which I myself have never seen, except in pictures. Indeed it is a great rarity, even in Egypt, only coming there (according to the accounts of the people of Heliopolis) once in five hundred years, when the old phoenix dies. Its size and appearance, if it is like the pictures, are as follow: The plumage is partly red, partly golden, while the general make and size are almost exactly that of the eagle. They tell a story of what this bird does, which does not seem to me to be credible: that he comes all the way from Arabia, and brings the parent bird, all plastered over with myrrh, to the temple of the Sun, and there buries the body.

… which may be a reference to Bennu, the Egyptian deity connected to the sun, creation, and rebirth.

So Altaïr would meet him during his travels with Maria and he just stays. They assume he’s an exotic bird (or eagle), maybe a native to one of the places Altaïr and Maria visited.

Altaïr never told them that the bird flew into his room one night and began to chirp at him as if trying to tell him something. He also tried to tap the Apple but all it did was glow a bit.

The bird had been quite annoyed by it and began to hit it with his talons so quickly the Apple had a taptaptaptaptap sound rapidly before Altaïr could take the Apple.

After that, the bird just decided to sit on Altaïr’s shoulder when he left his room the following morning and Maria assumed he had bought the bird yesterday when they went their separate ways.

Her guess sounded so much better than the truth which was Altaïr spent the entire day yesterday holed up in his room, writing letters to be sent back to Masyaf as part of his deal with Malik in exchange for letting him go on this trip (which was to send letters detailing the geopolitical situations of the places he travels to with suggestion on what the Brotherhood should do in those parts… if they could do anything).

So nobody ever questioned the mentor’s newly acquired bird (except Malik but Malik had been more focused on the ex-Templar that Altaïr brought to Masyaf and married).

Then Darim and Sef were born and the bird (named Desmond because Altaïr thought of the name first when Maria asked what the bird’s name was) usually stayed with the children, letting out loud screeching cries whenever one of the two children were doing something they shouldn’t do.

When they got older, Darim and Sef learned the word ‘bribe’ and how Desmond can be easily bribed to look the other way in favor of delicious food.

Desmond stayed in Masyaf though, regardless if Altaïr or any of his sons left for a mission or to travel to a bureau. At some point, the bird had become a symbol of Brotherhood with its gold and red plumage.

So when Altaïr left with Maria and Darim to take down Genghis Khan, it was only natural for Desmond to stay with Sef in Masyaf.

Altaïr had been a bit conflicted though as Desmond’s feathers had grown quite… dull and he was moving slower than usual.

Maria and Malik both told them that Desmond was growing old and maybe it was time but the Ibn-La'Ahad boys refused to believe that.

Darim also believed that they might find medicine in one of the camps of the Mongols as they have been to many lands.

So when Desmond flew to protect Sef and got stabbed on the chest by Swami, Swami screamed as Desmond became shrouded in flames.

Swami burned as well and Sef could only watch in horror as white hot flames consumed the both of them.

Swami was left as a corpse charred beyond recognition.

While Desmond…

Only ashes remained…

And from those ashes…

Sef heard a small chirp.

As a little chick with red and gold plumage poked his head out of the ashes, shaking the ash from his small body.

Sef could only stare as he asked, “Desmond?”

And the bird gave him an enthusiastic chirp while jumping.