#unsymp roman?
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Loved and Unloved
Considering the large amount of content of unsymp patton that exists in comparison to any other side currently (most often depicting him as an anti-lgbtq+ Christian dad with control issues), feels like some real meaty angst potential to explore for Patton. He has been way more open to change and hiding when he isnât doing okay, so maybe he tries actively stripping the aspects of himself these extreme characterizations originate from only for it to go wrong? Maybe Virgilâs snappiness as of the last few episodes or Romanâs unease ends up fueling it in someway? No pressure if you don't wanna write Patton angst, just thought the concept was interesting. â ax3-e0ns
Read on Ao3
Warnings: self-doubt, self-esteem issues
Pairings: none!
Word Count: 3172
Everybody has to be open to change, so it's not fair of him to be so upset by it. He just needs to get over himself first.
Everybody has to be open to change, so it's not fair of him to be so upset by it.
Come on, he'd be the most unreasonable person in the world if he constantly talked about how good it was to keep an open mind, try new things, and then shirked away from actually doing any of the hard work that came with that, wouldn't he? It wouldn't be right! So no, Patton isn't going to pretend that he's the exception to his rules, not like this, so he's going to change. That's how things work, that's how things need to be done.
He justâŠneeds to get over himself first.
Figuring out just how badly he'd been messing everything upâwell, okay, no, he's going to go back a little bit first.
The wedding had been hard on everybody, which was something he'd never expected. It had been such an honor to be asked to be there by Lee and Mary Lee, and then to have everything crash and burn the way it didâŠit had been so disappointing. Not just because Thomas had clearly been so miserable, but because it wasn't ever supposed to be like that. Weddings were supposed to be joyous affairs, all about celebrating two people deciding to tie their lives together, and how could they be there and be so upset about it? Patton hadn't wanted to admit it when Roman first passed the sentence, but ever since DeceitâJanus had pointed out how rough it would be on poor Thomas if he was thereâor rather, since he'd given up the chance for a callback to be there, it wasâŠdifficult.
Then there's the whole matter of Patton himself. He's not sure when he really noticed how much he was causing all the problems, but once he did, it was sort of impossible not to notice anymore.
Maybe it was in that first meeting where they introduced Janus, back when he'd taken Patton's face and used it to coerce Roman into helping him with his schemes. Maybe it was when Roman passed the sentence and everyone looked at Patton like he was the one who did that too. Or maybe it was when Remus showed up and Logan told everyone that it was Virgil's fault and Patton's fault that Thomas had slept so badly last night.
Whenever it was, it made it clear that PattonâŠwasn't doing the best he could do when it came to actually being there for everybody else. And that was bad, because Patton was supposed to be there for everyone! Not just because he was at the center of a lot of Thomas's feelings, not just because he was Morality, but because those are his kiddos. Those are the people he cares about the most in the entire world, and if he can't even be there for them in the way that he should be, how could he pretend to be there for everyone else?
So, he could change. He had to change. He needed to change. And the best way to do that was to figure out what parts of himself were bad and needed to go.
As always, the fans wereâŠhelpful? Maybe? Is that the right word? He remembers hearing Logan and Roman talking about how fan communities were interesting beastsâhe's pretty sure those were Roman's words, not Logan'sâespecially when it came to interpreting characters. There were always going to be those that acted in bad faith and just saw the parts that they wanted to see, and there were always going to be those that just decided to die on the hill of their favorites and act as though they'd never done anything wrong, ever. But the vast majority of the fanbase would react similarly to the big events of the series, and so he figured that it wouldn't be the worst thing in the world to justâŠsee how they were reacting to him lately.
It was an eye-opening experience.
There were a lot of theories going around as to why he'd been soâŠproblematic in the series lately. Everything from him being responsible for Thomas's internalized homophobia to the Split to truly, truly horrible things that he knows are just meant to be alternate universes so the writers can experiment with what they want but to think that there's a part of him that they saw to make the ideas happenâŠ
He'd never been more grateful that the Imagination covers up lies so Janus wouldn't know the truth as to why Thomas was so upset that night, and he'd never been more ashamed of himself for being so cowardly as to run there.
He'd tried to convince himself that it was just that small minority, like Logan and Roman had said, but the thing wasâŠit wasn't. Not really. The amount of content like that for him versus the amount for everybody else was staggering. Even if it was just as small as making him the one that needed to change his mind so everyone could get their happy ending, it wasâwell, it started to weigh on him. More and more and more with each time he had a look at what the fans were doing, and after a while, wellâŠ
Maybe Logan was onto something when he said it was Patton's fault Remus had managed to worm his way so close to Thomas so quickly. He knows, somewhere, that chastising himself for having such a strong reaction to that sort of content isn't going to be productiveâquite the opposite, in factâbut he can't stop. What sort of horrible person reacts so badly to being told they need to change?
Well. That's enough of that. He needs to change, so he's going to.
For everyone else's sake.
"Hey, Logan?"
Logan looks up from his notebook to see Virgil and Roman standing in front of him. "Yes?"
"Have you noticed something's up with Patton?"
He frowns. "Not particularly. Is there something the matter?"
Roman sighs, sitting down on the couch. "That's the thing. He won't talk to usâhe won't even be in the same room alone with us if he can help it, and I don't know if we did something wrong that he's not telling us about or if there's something going on with him that he's trying to keep a secret."
Logan sighs, closing his notebook and tossing it onto the coffee table to steeple his fingers together. "Well, when did we first notice it?"
"Uh, a couple weeks ago?" Virgil scratches the back of his head. "I tried to ask him how he was doingâyou know, since Thomas had that one late night where all of us were really on edge for some reason, just because we didn't really see much of him and then he wasn't talking to us."
"That's right," Roman adds, "and then he wouldn'tâhe wasn'tâI tried to ask him what was going on and he just smiled at me and thanked me for asking."
"Wait, he didn't answer?"
"No! Not really."
"That is bizarre." Logan drums his fingers on his leg. "And we're certain there isn't something obvious we're overlooking? There's not a deadline coming upâwell, no, I know for a fact there isn't, not where Thomas is concerned, nor are we near the anniversary of something happening that would make him upset."
"I don't think we did anything either. We've not really had any big fights or blowouts sinceâŠ" Virgil trails off and he doesn't need to finish the sentence. "And I'm pretty sure it's not really related to that."
"How have we determined that?"
"Well, it's not really how Patton likes to deal with things. He's all about talking things through, remember? Especially when it comes to stuff that doesn't have to do with Thomas." He shudders. "There's only so much reassuring bonding time I can take before I really start to lose my shit."
If they all glance around, half-expecting and half-hoping for Patton to pop out with his signature 'language,' then that's for them to know and them alone.
"I don't know what to do," Roman confesses quietly, "he's been so distant, it's hard to talk to him about anything that isn't food or what we're doing later today."
"I can see ifâ" Logan doesn't get to finish what he was saying when Remus suddenly appears over the couch and falls squarely on top of Romanâ "Remus!"
"Ack! Get off me!"
Remus plants a big, wet kiss on Roman's squawking forehead and rolls onto the coffee table, legs kicked up behind him and hands under his chin. "What're we gossiping about?"
"We aren't gossiping, Remus, we're just talking."
"You're talking about one of us, so spill! I want all the teeth!"
Virgil rolls his eyes and pinches the bridge of his nose. "The expression is 'tea,' Remus, not 'teeth.'"
"But tea is boring. Janny drinks it and acts like he's the most pretentious snake-bastard on the planet. I was the teeth, that sounds much more fun."
"I don't have any teeth to give you," Roman grumbles, "and even if I did, I wouldn't, because that hurt."
"Aww, is Roro getting soft?"
"I'll show you softâ"
"Boys," Janus announces, striding from the shadows as though he's been there the whole time, "let's keep the roughhousing to a minimum for today, shall we? I'm not in the mood to tiptoe around shards of glass right now."
Remus cackles, Roman grumbles, and Virgil tilts his head back as though asking the heavens to give him patience.
"Janus," Logan greets, "have you noticed anything strange about Patton's behavior recently?"
"If by 'strange,' you mean 'worrying patterns that speak to an imminent mental breakdown,' then yes, Logan, I've noticed a few strange things."
That gets everyone to stare at him quite quickly. He raises an eyebrow.
"Oh, come on, certainly you've noticed it as well?"
"We have, that's why we were talking about it before someone decided to appear right on top of Roman."
"I didn't appear right on top of Roro, I appeared above him so I could fall on top of him!"
"Semantics." Logan waves his hand. "Janus, continue."
Janus sighs, glancing around, before beginning to fiddle with the ends of his gloves. "I don't know what started it, but I do know that Patton's beenâŠhaving a rough time recently. He's been acting as though we're about to pull the rug out from under him the moment he commits some sort of grave offense."
"But why? What did we do?"
"I don't know. That's the part I haven't figured out yet."
"It started that one nightâ"
"Where he was in the Imagination, yes, I know."
Remus sits up, a look of actual sobriety flickering through the common mania. "Pat-Pat was in the Imagination that night? What was he doing?"
"If I knew, don't you think I would tell you?"
"No."
"Probably not."
"Doesn't really seem that likely."
Janus holds a hand to his chest, the perfect image of a scandalized maiden until Virgil smacks his arm. "Rude."
"Soâwe think Patton maybe saw something in the Imagination that threw him off? Why wouldn't he tell us, then?"
"He wouldn't be able to get into Remus's side through those big common doors in the hallway, and it's not like he would know if heâ"
"Yeah, I'd be able to tell."
"âright, but I don't know what it could be on my side that would make him so upset."
"Maybe we're thinking about this wrong," Logan says suddenly, "maybe Patton being in the Imagination isn't the cause, but the consequence."
"What, you think something happened that made him go into the Imagination?"
"It's possible."
"Like what? What does the Imagination do that would've made it the place he'd go? The rest of us need Princey or Remus to make anything happen in there that isn't, like, summoning a bowl of Butterfingers."
"Maybe he just really wanted some Butterfingers?"
"Nah."
"Lies," Janus says softly.
"Huh?"
"The Imagination covers up lies. It's all lies, really, which means thatâ"
"That you can't hear what's going on in there," Roman finishes, his eyes widening, "so if Patton went in there on that night, thenâŠ"
He doesn't get a chance to finish that thought, because he spots Patton standing at the top of the stairs, his eyes wide and his mouth trembling.
"Wait, Padre, we didn'tâ"
Patton turns around and bolts.
"Patton," Logan coaxes gently from the other side of the door, "Patton, please, come and talk to us."
Patton shakes his head, even though he knows Logan can't see it, burying himself deeper into the blankets. This has all gone wrong. Everything is wrong. He has no idea when they started realizing how awful he is, but the last thing he wants to do right now is give them any excuse to confirm their suspicions.
"It's getting worse," he hears Janus murmur, "the lies areâthey're getting really bad."
"Patton, please." Logan's getting desperate, he can hear it. "Please, justâjust let us explain? We're not here to hurt you, we aren't mad, we're just worried, please."
He can't. He can't because as soon as he tells them what's going on, as soon as they make him tell them what's going on, he knows they'll be angry so quickly it'll be like they've always been angry at him. And he can't have them be angry, not right now, not while he's so weak that just the thought of having to be in the same room as them while they're angry with him is enough to make him muffle a sob into his pillows.
He thought he'd been doing well. He hasn't been overhearing, he hasn't bothered Roman about his work or personal projects in ages, he hasn't tried to walk all over Virgil and force him out of his comfort zone, he hasn't even distracted Logan from the important things that he's doing. He'd thoughtâhe thought he was doing better. He thought he was changing in a way that made sense, that was better. He thoughtâhe thoughtâ
It doesn't matter what he thought.
He can hear the voices from behind the door. He doesn't want to try and listen in to hear what they're saying. He doesn't want to hear about how they're trying to figure outâhe doesn't even want to think about it. He wants to push all this down and have it never have happened so he can just go out there and figure out what he needs to do to make himself better.
Then there's a very soft pop of someone appearing in his room and he has no idea how that's possible.
"Perks of the job," Remus says quietly, the bed dipping as he sits on the edge, "Intrusive Thoughts and all that. Means I can go places that the others can't sometimes."
Patton goes still. Well, he tries to go still. What he really does is lie there with the hitching sobs making him tremble every few seconds until he can feel the whole mattress shake with how quiet he's trying to be.
"Oh, Pat-Pat," he hears Remus mumble before a hand pats around the top of the blankets to find his head, "what happened?"
"S-sorry."
"Don't be sorry, it's okay. We just want to help."
Patton shakes his head, trying to burrow deeper, but that just lets Remus know exactly where his head is, which means that he gets about two seconds of warning before his blanket huddle is being moved apart piece by piece, layer by layer, until Remus is lifting up the last one and peering inside.
"Hey," he says, voice remarkably soft, "what's going on, Pat-Pat?"
He swallows painfully. Why is his throat so sore?
"You don't have to worry about being coherent or anything like that," Remus says when he doesn't say anything for a long moment, "justâŠget it out. I'll listen."
And just like that, out it comes. The whole messy, unforgiving story. Remus doesn't say a thing, not until Patton's sobbing and pleading for a forgiveness he's not sure he deserves, not until the door starts to bang again with how many lies Janus can hear and how Remus was supposed to make it better, not worse, and then Remus is saying his name softly and tenderly and there are hands cupping his cheeks andâ
"C'mere," Remus whispers, hauling him up out of the blankets and into his arms, "there, here, here we goâŠit's okay, Pat-Pat, it's gonna be okay. You're okay. You're gonna be okay. You don't have to worry about any of that anymore, you're gonna be just fine."
"RemusâRe, can we come in? Please? I think Virgil's about to break the door down."
"Get in here."
The rest of them pour in, something Patton only registers because there are suddenly more arms around him, more voices murmuring soft things, more hands rearranging blankets and pillows until he's sobbing into Remus out of more than just fear.
"Hey, hey, it's okay, Padre." That's Roman carding his hand through his hair. "We're right here. We aren't going anywhere."
"Just relax." That's Logan, making him lean back so he can breathe a little easier. "Just try and rest, we won't leaveâwe can figure everything out later, alright?"
"No more lies," Janus whispers as he settles a pillow to Patton's left, "you need to let us help you, sweetie. We're here for you, you have to let us be."
"Alright, all of you shut the fuck up." Virgil, that's his wonderful Virgil. "We're not gonna overwhelm him any more than we already have. So let him cry this out and sleep a little and you all can fight for who gets to cuddle him first."
ThisâŠthis no one else gets to see. No one gets to see how happily they all squeeze onto Patton's too-small bed that the twins make bigger so everyone can get comfortable. No one gets to see how tenderly Remus wipes the tears and spit from Patton's chin as Roman takes his glasses and puts them carefully on the nightstand. No one gets to see Virgil, Janus, and Logan adjusting blankets and pillows until Patton's so dazed with sleep that it's a struggle to keep his eyes open.
And he thinks that maybeâŠmaybe this part doesn't have to change. Maybe he's not beyond forgiveness after all.
Maybe he's forgotten that his kiddos love him as fiercely as he loves them.
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#dragonbabbles#fic#sanders sides#patton sanders#roman sanders#remus sanders#virgil sanders#logan sanders#janus sanders#deceit sanders#sympathetic remus#sympathetic deceit
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A quick TW guide for Just Out of Reach (specifically for what the kids go through)
Beware of spoilers! No spoiling of the plot, just tws.
Hopefully this is good! I'm trying to just cover the kids mostly, because the more intense chapters have their own TWs for the horror.
Chapters 1-10 are below :)
Ch 1: child!Janus comes across as unsymp
Ch 2: toddler!Logan is extremely fearful of being punished before he is shouted at by child!Janus and dragged away crying. He returns completely calm later. This takes place towards the end of the chapter.
Ch 3: child!Remus verbally uses disturbing imagery before he intentionally upsets child!Roman. They end up physically assaulting each other. Injuries are implied, but not shown. The scene is mysteriously faded out without consequence. This is the last scene of the chapter.
Ch 4: the children collectively panic when Patton dissociates at the end of the chapter.
Ch 5: child!Roman and child!Janus have a small argument that Patton overhears. Child!janus upsets child!Roman.
Ch 6: child!Remus once again uses some disturbing verbal imagery. He also licks Patton's face, and knocks his head into Patton purposely. Child!Janus threatens child!Remus. This is one scene at the end.
Ch 7: toddler!Logan alludes to something child!Janus disapproves of, and Patton accidentally stabs his own hand with a sewing needle. Child!Janus guilts and yells at toddler!Logan before dragging him away again. It is not addressed again.
Ch 8: more potentially unsymp!Janus behavior. toddler!logan has an extremely disturbing graphic nightmare. He is also being searched for by an unspecified character. The end of the chapter is jarring, with toddler!Logan being taken away traumatically for unknown but worrying reasons. Things are back to normal next chapter. (This is one of the more distressing chapters for Logan)
Ch 9: child!Roman throws a wooden spoon at toddler!Logan. The twins have a heated argument.
Ch 10: teenage!Virgil and Patton watch a horror movie. There is a graphic impaling description, but it has nothing to do with the kids. It's strictly an adult version of one of the sides.
@heartwitchhouse
#just out of reach#hopefully i can get to the other 6 hours sometime this week#anais rambles#hope this helped!!!!
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(Trying to keep it low) 1, 2, 9, 16 for the fan sides ask game. (No pressure and feel free to answer a diff one if you really want to)
Fan Sides Ask Game
1. How many sides do you have?
I have 6 sides! I have debated adding another one, for the sake of having them fit all the colours in the rainbow, but I don't know if I need anymore. They all mesh together really well & I don't think I have any other large traits in my personality.
REST UNDER CUT BCUZ THIS GOT SO LONG HEHEHE
2. What are your sides traits? Are they the same or different from the Sanders Sides?
Egotism, Impulse, Paranoia, Compassion, Creativity, Fatigue
They USED to be the same as the sides, back when I only had like 3 (Logic, Anxiety, & Morality) in middle school, but I changed them to fit me better!
Logan became Fatigue, Anxiety became Paranoia, Morality became Compassion.
I used to have a bunch of other side ideas, like having 2 twins 2 represent my aroflucuality (1 being romantic attraction, the other being lack of romantic attraction), but I don't (personally) like the idea of having a side represent my sexuality. It was mostly 4 silly fun.
(Fun fact: Creativity is one of my newest sides!)
9. Do your sides interact with the Sanders Sides? If so, who gets along with who? Who hates each other?
YES THEY DO!! They interact with the sides in my swapped self-insert AU (near the end, when I meet up w/ c!Thomas & now we're like "ok. How do we... switch back.")
I would like to make an AU where they interact regularly, but I can't think any plot ideas that would need us to Meet in any sort of way.
Wentz (creativity) 100% gets along with Remus. He'd get along with Roman for like 2 seconds, bcuz "hey it's another creativity!!", before Roman realises this freak is just like his brother. Wentz & Remus r both running around & making dead bodies & going "LOOK ITS ART!!"
Patton like, has a weird relationship with Melvin (compassion). He assumes that they'd be very similar in personality and opinions, and they kind of are, but Mel speaks his mind & is very blunt & straightforward & it makes Patton feel Odd. Mel is not afraid to point out anyone's mistakes & I feel like Patton would take this as Mel not liking him, when Mel holds no negative feelings 4 Pat (Mel just think he's a little misguided).
(+ I feel like Patton would find out that Mel + the rest of the undead sides have no empathy, since I don't have any empathy, & . He's def not ableist, but his upbringing & the way he thinks makes him immediately react negative & hold like... a grudge? Against them, esp Mel? IDK NOT IN A "UNSYMP PATTON" WAY, OBVS, HE'S JUST u know. He has a lot 2 learn & mel is willing 2 lend a hand)
Mel & Logan also get along. Like, being compassion, Mel cares so much for everyone around him & will drop everything to help anyone. Mel probably says some nerdy thing abt something & Logan is like :O ur smart wtf. (I also think Mel would 100% be like. "HEY! CAN WE FUCKING LISTEN 2 LOGAN RN HES TRYING 2 TALK" & its both uncomfortable & euphoric 4 Logan.)
Mercury (Paranoia) wouldn't really get along with anyone, though xe might find comfort in Roman. I don't have any reason why. I just feel like no one would be able to comfort him good during a delusional episode (minus Logan) & Roman is this loud man being like "THERES A MAN IN THR CLOSET?" (PULLS OUT SWORD & STARTS FIGHTING CLOTHES IN THE CLOSET) LIKE FJWHFK Roman's willing 2 be a hero 4 this little man whos terrified to step in front of mirrors & mercs couldn't be happier.
MERCURY WOULD NEVER GET ALONG WITH VIRGIL. Not 4 any reason, mercs is just holding a rlly lame grudge against him.
Memphis (egotism) & Janus might get along bcuz of their similar opinions on self care & selfishness, though ... I don't want to say Memphis is "more extreme", but she isn't doing things out of Self Care. Like, in SVS, Janus is trying to get Thomas to go to the callback to show that it's okay to be selfish and care about yourself. While Memphis would also want Thomas (or me, in this situation) to go to the callback, Memphis is doing it out of "you're inherently better than the people around you."
& that line of thinking is... Very Much against what Janus is trying to show Thomas. Janus (& Remus) are trying to show that no one is inherently good & no one is inherently bad, but Memphis believes that she (& I) are inherently better & that everyone is "below us"
They'd get along, but have very differing opinions.
Patton fucking hates Memphis. Memphis is what Patton does not want Thomas to become. I also think it'll throw him for a loop seeing Compassion & Egotism in one person.
Maven (fatigue) doesnt like making friends or getting 2 know ppl & would much rather be alone 4ever. The concept of interavting w/ others is like. So annoying 2 them.
(Id type more but im running out of spoons & this cant stay in my drafts anymore)
The "dark" sides & my sides have a good relationship automatically. Like the concept of sides that r excluded is something all my sides do not like & would immediately support them. They'd have like a... idk the word. Just, like, when u see someone & u nod 2 them & they nod back but u dont rlly know anything its just like... were in the same community.
Maddox (impulse) hates every1 & is like actively trying 2 murder them all /J
16. FREE SPOT FOR ANSWERERS! Ramble about anything you want!
I just went on a 13 paragraph long rant abt my sides & the sanders sides. I am not rambling anymore i am so tired
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You Canât Spell ROMANCE Without ROMAN (But Iâd Sure Like To) <-this is just the original misguided himbo link, Iâm def not posting a new fic til tomorrow at the earliest
#Iâm not sure that he really counts as âunsympatheticâ but heâs definitely a major dick in it#I was looking through me deleted scenes folder and itâs actually a pretty complete idea#other than the unresolved angst#Thursday polls#ts sanders sides
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Switcheroo 6
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A/N: Why hello! How are you? Anyway, Iâm back with more switcheroo! This one is a bit of an emotional rollercoaster but I hope you like it!
Warnings: swearing, yelling, small food mention, telling someone they're unwanted, ig unsymp Roman and Remus(I donât know, they're just being mean to each other). I think thatâs all, tell me if there are more!
Summary: Dinner is ready!
No one else is.Â
-
You canât really blame Logan for not knowing how bad of an idea this was.
Roman refused to utter the name of the twin he had and neither Eliana nor George could remember the name of the kid they had rejected. They felt no need and now they couldnât remember the name for the life of them so Logan never knew his name.Â
So when De had told him that he had a child named Remus who went to the same school that Logan taught, he thought nothing of it. He couldn't remember a student named Remus so he just assumed he didn't have him.Â
He wasn't wrong...kinda. He did have Remus but that was a class Roman and him were supposed to share so he was switched. Logan didn't really know that though. He knew he was supposed to have a new kid but he never showed then he just wasn't there.Â
If Logan had known...had taken one good look at Remus before tonight...well, we can't live on the what ifs now can we?
It was a Friday evening. The sun was setting, turning the sky a mixture of red and blues and pinks as it went down. The suburban orange street lights began to flicker on, alerting the neighborhood children to go inside and wash up for dinner. They could play all they wanted tomorrow but they do have things to do. The birds began to chirp they're final tunes as they flew to their nests and the night critters got ready to rumble. It was a truly calm and homely scene, the neighborhood.
Well, if you don't count the numerous items being thrown at people. Or the screaming. Or the rushing around and intense last minute cleaning.Â
âRoman!ÂżHas puesto la mesa?â Eliana called to Roman from her position in the kitchen.Â
âÂĄSi mamĂĄ! ÂĄTambiĂ©n limpiĂ© el baño! â Roman answered from the dining room, ducking at the random cooking item that Logan had managed to dodge. Eliana thanked him before going back to screaming at Logan about stirring the meringue wrong.Â
âItâs crazy,â his father had said, coming up from behind Roman. It was obvious he had just finished getting ready and was as excited about the dinner as Roman thought heâd be. His dad was an introvert, hated things like fancy dinner or parties. âYour mother wants to impress him more than Logan does.â he chuckled and Roman did too.Â
Truth be told, Roman was really excited to meet Logansâ new boyfriend. Ever since Roman had first been adopted heâd never seen Logan with someone. A few dates here and there but never anything serious. The first day Logan had met his new partner he had spent that entire dinner time going on about how amazing he looked and how he âcouldnât believe someone that hot could be so adorable why in the hell does my heart feel like this Eli I think I may be having a heart attack.â
He wasnât but it was still amazing to see Logan so happy.
âYou know mother dearest,â Roman smiled. "Always wants to make a good first impression."Â
"You're right. That's why I fell in love with her," his father smiled, a far away look in his eye. Roman tapped him on the arm to bring him back from the memory of his first meeting with his mother. One he talked about often.Â
After another 25 minutes and a lot more screaming there was a ring at the door. It ceased the chaos for all of five seconds before more started up. This time they were rushing to clean up the kitchen and making sure they looked perfect for the first meeting.Â
At his mother's instructions, Roman went to go make sure the table was straight. He didn't meet them at the door, only heard their voices. One sounded deep and suave. Elegant is definitely a word that would be used to describe that person.Â
The other voice...was familiar. A voice he knew he'd heard before. A voice that stirred something in Roman but he ignored it. Although he didn't ignore the name the elegant voice had used to address the familiar one. Roman stiffened.Â
"And in the dining room, our son Roman is making sure everything is perfect. He just loves helping," he heard his mother brag as they made their way to the dining entrance. A loving and cheerful voice that was a stark contrast to the booming one before.Â
They stood at the entrance. All looking at the sheer terror on Romans face. All the adults were confused. The teen however was not.Â
"Remus."
"Roman."
"You two know each other?" Logan asked, looking between the two. Something seemed to click just a second later when his eyes noticeably widened.Â
"Of course," Roman drawled, a strained smile on his face. "How could I not recognize my own twin?"Â
-
"So, Desmond-"
"Call me De."Â
"De, of course," his mother smiled at the man. The one she used for all guests but a bit...softer. "What do you do? Logan told me that you two met at that new cafĂ©?"Â
De set down his fork and wiped at his mouth.Â
"I actually own that café and a few others around the country."
"Oh," George piped up, intrigued by the new information. "Was there a reason you picked North Carolina?" He asked. De nodded.
"I was looking to move-"
"Cus Remus got his ass kicked out of school."
"And I found an empty building in the area. It seemed nice, good weather, so I found a house and started construction."
"That place has been under construction for a few months. I remember driving by it. Wanted to check it out." Eliana said, shooting a glare at her son. She wasn't the only one. Logan had learned how to perfect the "angry mom glareâą" and was shooting him one too.
Remus stiffened but kept quiet. Something he knew De would be proud of.Â
"So, Remus, what is your favorite subject in school?" Logan asked him. It was the first time Logan had met Remus as well so he decided to try and talk to him. If all went well he'd be seeing a lot more of him.Â
Remus finished chewing his food before looking at Logan. He held his gaze but made sure Roman was listening.Â
"I don't really know." He answered, truthfully. "Although I've never really been fond of theater. Too...girly." he said, shifting his gaze to look at Roman. De shot him a glare and kicked him lightly under the table. Remus flinched slightly at the assault but didn't say anymore.Â
They sat in silence for a few minutes. Roman broke it.
"So, mother, I heard about this new thing. A study was done. Basically, the younger twins are a lot more likely to be immature and just altogether more hideous than the older." Roman had said. It was a lie and he knew everyone knew that too but it didn't stop Remus from scowling.Â
"Actually, dad," he had hissed, looking to De. "I saw this thing that said that twins that were born first are highly more likely to have a shitty personality-â
âOh Iâm the one with a shitty personality?â Roman snapped, slamming his fist down on the table. All other people at the table seemed to blend into the background as Roman and Remus stared each other down. Â
âI have to say,â Remus sat up straight, hands in his lap. âIâm proud that you seem to know all these new words. All that summer school you had to go to seemed to help. Even idiots can learn new things!â
âGod youâre insufferable!â Roman hissed, shooting daggers at Remus. Remus shot back with a glare of his own.Â
âHa! Jokes on you, I don't know what that word means!â Remus shot back, crazed smirk making its way to its familiar place on Remusâ face.Â
âIt means youâre a pain in the neck!âÂ
âInsulting me like this, Ro? I am a guest in your home and this is how you treat me? For a failed Disney prince I woulda thought you had better manners than that.â
âYouâre not a guest,â Roman snarled, rising from his seat. âYouâre an unwanted parasite!â
âHa! As if I hadnât heard that one before!â Remus scoffed, rising from his seat as well.
âWhich part? Parasite or unwanted? Let me take a wild guess!â
Something in Remus seemed to switch. His eyes lowered along with his voice and he growled, actually growled, at Roman. Roman was on real thin ice. One wrong step and heâll have crossed a line no human besides Roman would even dare think to cross.Â
âYouâre on thin ice you spoiled little brat!â Remus said, something feral shining in his eyes. Roman smirked.Â
âWhat? Canât handle the truth?â Roman laughed. This made Remus growl again.Â
âYou wouldnât know the truth if it hit you in your flat ass.â
âMy ass is not flat you twat!â
âBoys, enough.â George said, placing his cutlery down on the table. Neither boys listened or made any move that showed that they heard him.Â
âLemme tell you a bit of truth, Roman.â Remus growled, inching his face closer to Romans. âRight now...youâre making me rethink whether or not I regret getting rid of you four years ago.âÂ
Roman seemed to mentally recoil as the rest of the table drew in a unanimous breath. The mental slap in the face hitting in all the wrong places for Roman. It made him want to run to his room and cry. Or hurt Remus. He chose the latter.Â
âWell, brother of mine,â he sneered, inching close just like Remus had. âYou being here right now...I can see why no one wanted you.â he muttered, so low everyone had to strain their ears to hear. Remus stood up straight at that. Roman followed suit.Â
âThatâs not-â
âThat's not true? Hm? Is that what you were gonna say? âCus I know that would be one huge ass lie!â Roman yelled, voice upbeat but so utterly condescending. âYou know all those families? All those families that didnât want us? Well, News flash! They didn't want you!â Roman screamed, pointing a rigid finger in Remusâ direction.Â
Remus stood, body stoic. Lips pursed and waiting. Waiting for the final blow that he knew was gonna come.Â
âI bet your Dad didnât even want you.â Roman laughed. âI bet you were nothing more than a pitiful sight and he just couldnât stand to leave you in the orphanage. Could he?âÂ
Remus looked around at the others at the table. The adults who had been silent as they watched the countdown to the explosion on the fragile bomb that was Roman and Remusâ relationship. Tears welled in his eyes and deep down, deep deep down, Roman felt satisfaction.Â
Deeper down though, in a place Roman had tried all too hard to bury, he felt like a monster.Â
He felt horrible because he had vowed to never hurt Remus the day, the minute, the moment he learned that Remus was his family.Â
He still remembers it. He had been four and had watched Lilo and stitch for the first time. Ever the curious toddler, he had asked a caregiver what family was. What it meant and did he have one. He knew he had a brother, but didnât know about a family.Â
âYou do have a family,â she had said, pointing at Remus who was attempting to eat a Lego person. âHeâs your family.â she had explained in the simplest way.Â
âWhat does that mean?â he had asked her and she knew what he meant. What he was really asking.Â
What did it mean to be a family?
âWell,â she had said, crouching down off the couch and onto the floor, right in front of Roman.Â
âFamily are the people you care about no matter what. You love and protect them and they love and protect you. They may get on your nerves sometimes but...you'll always be there for them. Youâll never forget them. Youâll never not love them.â she said, going slow and Roman hung onto every word.Â
He looked at Remus, chewing on the tiny Lego person, and suddenly ohana had a whole new meaning.Â
Ohana means family and family means nobody gets left behind, forgotten or hurt.Â
Ohana means family and family meant Remus.Â
Ohana had become their new âI love youâ. It was something perfect for their little two person family and every time one of them got hurt or they got in a fight theyâd tell each other ohana and watch the movie that soon became their favorite.Â
After that day though, Roman tried to leave Remus in his past. Tried to forget him and move on and now he had hurt him.Â
Younger him would be so disappointed in him right now.
 Remus looked at everyone frozen at the table, eyes shiny. He looked to De with a pleading look. He was begging him with his eyes to tell him that wasnât true but De was frozen. No one knew exactly how to react and Desâ mind was moving far too slow to recognize the look Remus was sending him.Â
He gave one final, heartbreaking look to Roman. Roman knew what was gonna happen. He did it whenever he felt like crying but didnât want anyone to see him.Â
Remus turned around and ran. Right out of the dining room and right out the door.
Within seconds Roman crumbled to the ground in a ball of tears and all hell broke loose.
-
Those who want to be tagged:
@datfearlessfangirl
@queer-human-being
@annoyingindeed
@deceitslimysanders
@mynamehasbeenstolen
@healthyboybrand
@lasilhouetteinbianco
@thetrombonewhisperer
@gayturtlez
#bob rites#switcheroo#roman sanders#remus sanders#logan sanders#deceit sanders#tw swearing#tw yelling#food mention#unsymp roman?#unsymp remus?
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Au where Remus is five and Roman is eighteen and they lost their parents recently so Roman's had to start taking care of Remus all by himself. It's really hard, they had to sell their childhood home since they couldn't afford it anymore and now the money is being all put towards an apartment/rainy funds while Roman has to quit drama club to make time for a part time job he hates. As if all that wasn't bad enough their shitty uncle Patton is trying to insert himself into their lives with the sole goal to take Remus away. Patton actually has alot of money but instead of just letting them move in he insists that he should have custody of Remus and that Roman could never providd for him the safe, healthy, financially stable, god fearing home he deserves. At one point hee even tries to bribe Roman by offering to pay for his college tuition but Roman doesn't believe Patton actually cares about Remus.
When their parents were alive they didn't even like Patton, they tried to keep the kids away from him as often as possible. Remus certainly doesn't wanna go, he thinks Patton smells weird and talks funny, when Patton comes by to visit Remus hides behind Roman the whole time. Patton will even buy him super expensive toys and games but Remus still clings to Roman. Patton doesn't really have any big grand scheme or anything, he's just a very toxic manipulative person who think he automatically knows what's best. What's so sad though is even though Roman knows deep down that Remus would hate it and Patton isn't a great person, a little voice in the back of his head still thinks maybe Patton is right.
He's working multiple dead end jobs just to make ends meet on crappy apartment and often has to skip valuable time he could be studying or working to attend parent teacher meetings for Remus. He can't even take Remus to the park with out strangers offering unsolicited parenting advice (they live in kind of a small town so unfortunately EVERYONE knows about the kids who's parents died) or pitying him. If only he could give Remus all his attention or at least have some one to help, he can't even afford a sitter most of the time. :(
#unsymp patton#unsympathetic patton#u! patton#unsympathetic sides#sanders sides#tss#tss au#sanders sides au#sanders sides angst#tss angst#thomas sanders#creativitwins#remus sanders#roman sanders#sanders sides remus#sanders sides roman#roman sanders sides#remus sanders sides#tss remus#tss roman#creativitwins au#remus and roman#roman and remus
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Virgil: You're lucky you have Remus. He is the dark side of Creativity so that you don't have to balance it out
Roman: .... haha.... yeah... that's how it works.....
Later when Roman's trying to sleep:
Remus, whispering in his ear: Here's a thousand reasons as to why you're not good enough
Roman: Last night it was just 500...
Remus: Yeah, but you fucked up a lot, today
Why do you think Roman hates the dark?
#sanders sides#roman sanders#virgil sanders#remus sanders#roman angst#creativitwin angst#Creativitwins#roman needs a hug#unsympathetic remus#unsymp!remus
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Every time I watch svs and pof it gets more and more painful as I notice the sheer amount of times Patton desperately tries to get someone elseâs opinion, or make them stop interrogating him, or take control away from himself and they still. donât. let him.Â
#sanders sides#ts#patton#patton angst#pof#svs#so this isnt intended as unsymp becuz... it happened in canon..#plus thats a pretty strong word but i will say#questionable roman#questionable c!thomas#just to be safe
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[gif description in alt text.]
wuh woh spagetti-o's
#ok this isnt actually meant to be negative towards logan virgil & patton#but i AM gonna tag it as negativity/critical for them bcuz i dont wanna take any chances w ppl who dont want to see this content seeing it#but i wont tag it as unsymp cuz this doesnt make them unsymp i rlly do love them all. this is more abt me wanting to hug roman and less abt#being angry at the other sides#logan critical#logan negativity#virgil critical#virgil negativity#patton critical#patton negativity#lucy.gif#gif warning#gifs#gif#sanders sides#sanders sides gifs#ts roman#ts logan#ts virgil#ts patton#angst#romangst
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Change
Roman was acting like himself when Thomas was younger, yk overdramatic, prince aesthetic, love of theater etc etc but after a fight with Virgil he decides he wants to be respected and completely switches up reads body language, stays quiet and subdued, refuses to state any opinions the other sides wouldn't completely agree with â himguy
Read on Ao3
Warnings: bullying, more unsymp!sides than I normally go
Pairings: none
Word Count: 8613
Roman is over the top, bombastic, and enthusiastic. He is prone to fits of passion and emotional outbursts. Such is the nature of Creativity. But the others...don't like that. They aren't exactly ambiguous about it either. Or, Roman struggles to walk the line between being himself and being something the others can tolerate. It gets far worse before it gets any better.
âI meanâitâs outrageous! Despicable! Why, the very greats of theater performances past are affronted at the very notion!â
Virgil rolls his eyes, lounging against the bottom of the stairs. âAre you done?â
âAm I done? Am I done? How can you even ask such a question like that, when you have awakened in me passions the likes of which would make the Ancient Greeks rise from their slumberââ
âAs if your tantrum hasnât awoken them already,â Logan mutters under his breath and Janus muffles a snort.
ââto speak in verse so as to demand an answer to the question of why you have decided to make a mockery of their livelihoods! Whatâhow can you ask me if I am done when it is you who started this in the first place!â
Virgil yawns.
âAnd nowâhow dare you?â
âHereâs a fun game, take a shot every time Princey says âhow dare you.â Youâll be dead in two minutes.â
âWe only drink responsibly, Virgil,â Patton chides.
âYeah, which means you agree that heâs saying it, like, every other sentence.â
âExactly, so if weâre going to be playing a drinking game, then you should pick something thatâs either happening lessââ
âRoman being reasonable?â
âHow dareââ
âQuick, everyone, take a shot, he said it again!â
Roman puffs his chest up, spluttering, and Virgil just snickers, mocking his half words until Romanâs face is as red as his sash, laughing the whole time. Even Logan has to try and hide his grin as Roman keeps trying and failing to articulate much of anything.
âOh, give it up,â Virgil sighs after a while, âyouâre not making sense, Princey, you havenât been making sense for like, half an hour. You just keep saying âhow dare youâ and going on these monologues that donât mean anything.â
âWhat do you mean, âdonât mean anything?â Have you not even been listening?â
âNope.â
âWell, then, you shouldâwhat did you say?â
âI said no, Princey, I havenât been listening. Itâs not worth listening to you when youâre not really saying anything.â Virgil scrubs a hand through his hair. âYouâre justâŠyou know, talking. Making noise. Thatâs what you do.â
âWhat exactly is talking if not making noise, then?â
âWell, âtalkingâ typically refers to stringing words together in a way that actually communicates something worth saying, and âmaking noiseâ is just that. Nonsense.â
âThatâs notââ
âL? Back me up here.â
âHeâs right,â Logan says, crossing his arms as Roman starts to puff up again, âyouâve been wasting our time with these dramatic fits and tantrums that are not and have never been productive. So unless you have something thatâs actually worth saying, then I agree with Virgil that youâve made enough noise for the evening.â
âOr ever.â
âKiddo,â Patton scolds, âitâs not nice to say that Roman shouldnât ever make noise again.â
âBut you agree with me.â
ââŠI think thatââ
âThatâs a yes,â Janus says helpfully, smiling as if butter wouldnât melt in his mouth when Roman glares at him.
âWhat is this, Pick On Roman Day? Did I miss a memo where you all decided it would be good funny to belittle me?â
âMore like did you decide to wake up and abuse our eardrums for ages and ages.â
âHow is this more productive than the things I was saying?â He flings his hand out at Virgil. âHeâs just insulting me?â
âYes, which is doing the productive task of making sure that youâre not monologuing anymore,â Logan sighs, rubbing his temples. âI believe Iâm going to call it here. If thereâs nothing else pertinentâŠ?â
âNo,â Janus says before he can say anything, ânothing.â
âI will see you all for dinner, then.â
âWait, Logan, you canât justââ Logan sinks out before he can finish his sentenceâ âhow come he gets to do that and when I do it you all yell at me?â
âBecause heâs doing the healthy thing of respecting his own boundaries,â Patton says, âand not just deciding that he doesnât want to be here anymore.â
âHow is that different?â Patton just looks at him like heâs the most disappointed heâs ever been. âWhat? Donât look at me like that!â
âIâm gonna go too. Iâll see you kiddos later.â
âWait, Patââ
âHeâs gone, Princey,â Virgil declares, still lazing about like some great over stuffed cat, âheâs not coming back.â
âWhat, are you two going to sink out next?â
âOh, no, please,â Janus drawls. âDonât mind me, this is the most entertaining thing Iâve seen in weeks.â
âWhat is?â
âWatching you be a peacock getting your feathers plucked.â
Roman yelps, hands going automatically behind him, and both of them burst out into laughter. Embarrassment and humiliation burn his cheeks and they just keep laughing, calling him a tomato, a pincushion, a whoopee cushion, andâandâ
âAww,â he hears Virgil simper, âis Princey gonna cry?â
Something deep inside of Romanâs chest snaps.
The living room disappears. Heâs standing in his bedroom. Did he sink out? He doesnât remember. His hands burn. His chest is splitting in agony. He can still hear laughter ringing and ringing in his ears, louder and louder and louder and louderâ
Distantly, he registers that heâs on his knees, somehow, hunched over until his forehead burns into the rough shag carpet. The balloon in his chest keeps snapping hardly against his ribs with every rough inhale, the ache in his hands giving way to the sharp bite of his own nails in his palm. He splutters again, gasping for breath. It doesnât work. He does it again. His chest feels like itâs about to splinter into pieces. They just keep laughing. Why do they always laugh?
Peacock. Tomato. Pincushion. Whoopee Cushion. Spluttering, overblown, overdramatic, messy, nonsense Prince.
That wasnât fair. It isnât fair.
Life isnât fair, Roman, he can hear Logan sighing, you canât just complain about everything all the time. You have to work for things.
Fine. They want Roman to work for things? They want him to act like heâs someone worthy of respect? Fine. Heâll play their stupid game.
***
âAh. Roman.â Logan adjusts his glasses. âYouâre late.â
âSorry, I know, I was caught up inââ
âIt doesnât matter,â he continues, turning back to Patton like Roman hadnât been speaking, âat any rate, I find it highly unlikely that a video on the animal shelters nearby will be a successful venture for Thomas.â
âBut itâs a good thing to do, Logan! Besides, they have a fundraiser thing going on right now, we could help raise awareness?â
âYeah, but what if thatâs not what theyâre asking for?â Virgil shakes his head. âWe might just end up making things worse.â
âBesides, Thomasâs content shares to far more than just a local audience. It would be in an effort to reach the wrong demographic.â
âWell, as Thomasâs Creativity, I think that we shouldââ
âOh, good, here we go, Princeyâs gonna lecture us again.
Roman frowns. âIâmâŠbut I am Thomasâs Creativity. Itâs my job to come up with ideas.â
âCome up with ideas and order everyone else around like weâre your personal servants are two very different things, Roman.â
âI didnât say that, you slippery snakeââ
âName calling will not do you any favors.â Loganâs voice cracks across the room and Roman just manages to resist the urge to flinch. âYou showed up late, Roman. You do not have the authority to override anyone else, as much as we all know you wish you could.â
âOnly we can,â Virgil pipes up as Janus gives a little wave, âsorry, Princey.â
âYouâre not sorry.â
âNeither are you, and you should be for being so rude.â
âIââ
âTheyâre right, Roman,â Patton says quietly, âgo on.â
Roman looks around at all of them. They stare at him expectantly. A lump grows in his throat and he mutters an apology.
âThatâs better.â Logan turns away from him again. âNow, as I was saying before I was so rudely interruptedâŠâ
The others respect Logan, at least, they think that heâs worth listening to. And heâs not scolded for interrupting anyone. Maybe he could be respected the way Logan is, if he shows them that he knows what heâs talking about.
***
Roman shows up to the next meeting with his arms full of binders and notebooks. Janus raises an eyebrow as he sets them all in a neat little row around himself, waiting for the meeting to start.
âJeez, Princey, did you murder enough trees yet? You know weâre trying to save the planet, yeah, not just kill it faster?â
âItâs research.â
âResearch,â Janus repeats dubiously, just as Logan shows up.
âAh, good, nice to see weâre all on time this time.â
âUh, Pattonâs not here yet.â
Virgil scoffs. âSnitch.â
âHow am I being a snitch? You can clearly see heâs not here.â
âThereâs no need to be rude, Roman.â Logan eyes his pile suspiciously. âDespite howâŠovereager you might be.â
âBut I justââ
âSorry, sorry!â Patton rises up. âSorry Iâm late, I just lost track of time!â
âItâs alright, Pattonââ how come itâs alright when Pattonâs late, but not me?â âwe can get started now.â
Great. Roman picks up the binders and starts trying to hand them out, only for Virgil to raises his eyebrow and nudge it away like itâs radioactive.
âWhat the hell is that supposed to be?â
âItâsâŠitâs research. For the video idea. I was looking into media study theories about the subjects that we wanted to includeââ
ââWe?â Thereâs no âweâ in this, Princey, we havenât even made a decision yet. I feel like we went over this.â
Roman chews on his lip. âI know, but I wanted to have evidence for my side, andââ
âThere are no sides anymore, Roman,â Janus sighs, looking almost bored, âweâre working together on this, remember?â
ââŠokay, I wanted to have evidence to back up what I wanted to say, is that better?â
âWell, considering youâre trying to hand me a phone book, no, not really.â
Roman huffs, letting the binder fall to the floor. Patton tuts disapprovingly at the noise. âYou guys like it when Logan brings in a bunch of evidence, why canât Iââ
âExcuse me?â Loganâs expression darkens. âIs that all you think I do, Roman?â
âOh, shit, youâve done it now,â Virgil mutters as Logan takes a step forward.
âIâI justâI wanted toââ
âI bring in evidence to support the things I say because that is the responsible this to do. I choose the sources that will most accurately and succinctly back up my claim because I respect the time of the people I am talking to.â Logan looms over him, even though theyâre about the same height. âIf you are so desperate as to try and steal what it is that I do because you donât feel as though your ego has been properly satedââ
âOoh, get him, L.â
ââthen I highly suggest you do your research.â
Janus is openly grinning and Virgil is hiding snickers behind his hand. Logan stares at him for a moment longer before he drops the binder with a thud. Roman flinches. He barely hears anything else over the rush of shame in his ears as he gathers up all of his binders and clutches them to his chest.
If theyâd even bothered to look inside, they wouldâve seen his summary of the academic essays and papers heâd read where he put in only the relevant parts and annotated his ideas with them, but they didnât. They didnât look inside. Not one of them. That wasnât fair either. What else is he supposed to do? How is he supposed to get them to listen?
Remus. They pay attention to Remus when he shows up. Maybe he should ask Remus what to do.
***
âRemus? Iâwhoa!â He dodges a flying piece ofâŠsomething. âI had something I wanted to ask you!â
Remus looks up from his perch on top of a mountain of various animal parts and grins, sliding down what Roman hopes is a giant tongue and shaking himself off. âWhatâs cracking?â
âHow do you get the others to listen to you?â
âScream until their eardrums bleed, thatâs a good way.â
Roman winces. âBut then theyâre notâthen they canât hear at all.â
âThatâs not my problem.â
âNo, I meanâwhen you show up, everyone pays attention to you. HowâŠhow do you do that? How do you get them to take you seriously?â
âI find holding a very sharp weapon does wonders for making sure youâre listened to. Especially if they know youâll use it!â
âI donât want to hurt them, Re.â
âYouâre no fun.â
âI justâIâm struggling with getting them to take me seriously. They donât want to listen to me, they donât really respect me, I justââ
âHere, hold this.â
ââI want them toâack!â
The ball of whatever-it-was Remus placed in his hands explodes into a noxious cloud of spores, making him crouch and flail as Remus cackles. The familiar burn forms the lump in his throat and he tries to take a deep breath to calm himself downâ
âonly to go into a massive coughing fit when he inhales the spores again.
âSheesh, Ro, maybe you shouldâve learned your lesson.â Remus pats him on the back with mock sympathy. âDid you want to say something?â
Roman opens his mouth and promptly swallows another round of the spores and has to double over, hacking them up. Remus just grins. He waves his arms frantically to get those stupid things out of the air and glares.
âAw, lighten up, bro! You looked like you could use a laugh.â
âRe, I came to you for help.â
âPfft. Thatâs your fault, not mine. Whatâs the matter, Ro? Iâve never had problems with getting them to take me seriously.â
âWell, yeah, because theyâre scared of you.â
Remus freezes. The smile slides off his face. âWh-what?â
âYou threaten them with weapons, you scream at them until their ears bleed, wouldnât you be scared?â Remusâs lower lip wobbles. âWait, I didnât meanââ
Remus sinks out before he can say anything else. He groans in frustration and scrubs his hands over his face, remembering too late that there are still spores there, and he sinks out to his bathroom to wash them all off. Scrubbing at the skin doesnât really do anything to dull the frustration of Remus being so unhelpful and the guilt atâŠupsetting him.
No sooner has he dried offâactually, better make that started to dry offâdoes he feel the familiar yank of being summoned. He rises up in the middle of the Dark Sideâs living room to see a teary Remus in Janusâs arms and an absolutely furious Virgil.
âWhat the actual fuck is wrong with you,â Virgil spits in his face before he can even say anything, âhow the fuck can you be so cruel?â
âI didnâtââ
âYou actually fucking told Remus that weâre all scared of him? What the fuck, Princey?â
âI didnât mean to, I justâ!â
âPlease,â Janus hisses, voice laced with enough venom to make his throat tingle, âtell us what you did mean, since clearly we must be missing something.â
Virgil glowers and folds his arms. Remus sniffles, head still pillowed in the crook of Janusâs shoulder. One of his hands rubs soothing circles over Remusâs back and a jolt of longing makes Romanâs chest ache anew.
âWell?â
ââŠI just meant that he threatens you guys all the time, and heââ
âWow.â Virgil scrubs a hand over his face and starts to pace in a circle. âJust fucking wow, Roman.â
âWhat? He does! He admitted it, thatâs what he does whenever he shows up!â
âAnd of course he only shows up to be the bad guy, right? Thatâs what youâre gonna say next?â
âI never said that! I didnât say that! I would be scared if someone showed up and threatened to hurt me with an extremely sharp weapon or scream until my ears bleed, wouldnât you?â
âWell, jeez, Princey, seems like you got it all figured out. No use asking us how we feel, no, you already got everything all sorted. Just the way you like it, huh?â
âThatâs not what I meant, I justââ
âWhat is all of this racket about?â
Romanâs heart sinks when he sees Patton and Logan come in from the hall. Patton, of course, catches sight of the still-sniffling Remus and rushes over, all soft care and concern that makes Roman burn with envy, and Virgil wastes no time telling Logan about all the horrible things he said and how heâs refusing to apologize for it. Sure enough, Loganâs disappointed look turns on him in less than one minute.
âRoman,â Patton says sternly, âhow could you say something like that?â
âIs there something Iâm missing here? Do other people not get scared when someone shows up and threatens to hurt them?â
Patton frowns. Logan and Virgil donât bother to hide their disgusted expressions. Janus bends down to murmur something comforting in Remusâs ear. Roman throws his hands up.
âI donât get it! What am I not getting? Please, someone tell me, tell me what I donât get aboutââ
âThatâs enough.â
Pattonâs tone, cold enough to freeze even the brightest stars, stops him cold.
âYouâre behaving horribly, Roman, and you know that. Youâre reacting in a very immature way and I expected more from you. Now, do you have an apology to make to Remus, or are you going to keep throwing a tantrum about getting caught doing something bad?â
Roman swallows around the lump in his throat. He looks at Remus, who peers out from Janusâs protective hold to look at him. In truth, he never meant to hurt his brother. He does feel bad about it, and yes, he wants to apologize.
But he looks around at the sheer force with which the others have decided to support and care for Remus, and he justâŠ
âIâm sorry I said everyone was scared of you, Remus.â
Janus bares his teeth and hisses and Pattonâs face darkens.
âOut.â
âBut I said I wasââ
âGet out, Roman.â
Virgil steps forward as if heâs going to bodily shove Roman out of the room and Roman quickly sinks out, listening to the comforting words of the others as they start to gather around Remus and heâheâ
You know what? Fine. Fucking fine.
They say heâs being immature and dramatic and stupid and disrespectful and cruel and mean and a peacock and a tomato and a pin cushion and selfish and egotistical and badly behaved and heâs throwing a tantrum then fine. Then fine,
He sinks into the Imagination atop a vast, barren wasteland of dry cracking stone and winds racing across miles and miles of absolutely nothing. Sand stings across his exposed skin and he pays it no mind. The ground begins to split and crack under him.
Itâs not fair. Itâs not fair. Heâs not allowed to be passionate about anything or be hurt when people make fun of him. Heâs not allowed to do research or do anything similar to what anyone else might be doing. Heâs not allowed to go ask for help because heâll say the wrong thing and everyone else will immediately take the side that isnât his. Heâs supposed to be this stupid dancing monkey that no one has to listen to and he never gets to actually say any of this out loud.
When was the last time someone asked him if he was okay? When was the last time someone actually listened to him? But no, Roman doesnât get to be taken seriously. Roman doesnât get to be hurt and upset and want things like everyone else. Roman doesnât get to do any of that.
Roman gets to scream himself hoarse in a sandstorm until the sand scrapes his tears from his cheeks and the grind cracks under him, thatâs what Roman gets to do. He gets to scream and rage and shout that itâs not fair, because itâs not fair, in a place where no one could or would care enough to hear him. He gets to scream and rage and be hurt all on his own where even the wind wonât give him the breath to speak and you know what? Maybe this is better.
Because when he looks around at the scar in the face of the earth heâs made with blood on his knuckles and an undying ache in his chest, maybe the others were right.
***
That was three months ago.
Roman wasnât allowed to come to the meeting for a while. Remus went instead. Roman spent his time in the Imagination trying not to let the hurt in his chest turn him to stone. They dropped off a list of everything they needed him to do after the meetings were over and he did them.
Then he was allowed to come back on a sort of trial basis as long as he behaved himself. He didnât know what that meant, but he knew they didnât like it when he said things or acted like he knew what to do, so he didnât say anything. Remus was still there and Remus interrupted and said things and the others laughed or listened or told him his ideas were good. They didnât ask Roman if he had any ideas.
They still got mad if Roman was late, even if he wasnât saying anything anyway. They still got mad if Roman wasnât paying attention, even though they didnât listen to any of his suggestions when he wanted to make them. They still expected him to do all of the things they wanted, even if that wasnât something that he could do and he tried to tell them that and they told him to stop being lazy because Remus was doing all of this stuff too. It still wasnât fair, but Roman knew better than to ask why now.
He still went to the Imagination. The Imagination didnât judge him when he wanted to make his ideas, or when he wanted to just say something wasnât fair out loud. He went there almost every night just to feel a little bit better, to go sit by the waterfalls and watch the rainbows form, or to go sit in the glowstone forest for a while and listen to the chirping of the tasselflies. Mostly he went to go take care of his dragon. She didnât mind if his hands shook as he brushed her scales or if he needed to whisper-ramble to himself about how much it hurt to be in the meetings now. In the beginning he tried not to cry on her because he worried that it was rude but then she snuffled into his face with hers and wrapped her tail around him so he figured she didnât mind too much. Sometimes he just went to her so he could lie against her scales; she was warm the way all dragons are and if he was very tired or very upset, it was almost like getting a hug. She couldnât hug him, outside of wrapping her tail around him a few times, but she was warm and she was nice and she let him cuddle up to her, so it was okay.
Then he gets called to a meeting that isnât the one they have planned and he only just gets there on time. He rises up into the living room and everyone else is already there, staring at him. He straightens his shirt a little self-consciouslyâhe stopped wearing the prince costume when Janus told him he didnât need to dress like he was always about to go to his own coronationâand waits for someone to explain whatâs going on.
Logan eventually breaks the silence, sighing and straightening his glasses. âRoman, do you know why youâre here?â
He shakes his head.
âYouâre because we thinkâwell, we feel that this temper tantrum has gone on long enough.â
Temper tantrum? What temper tantrum? Heâs doing what they want, isnât he? Heâs not being dramatic, heâs not doing anything wrong, heâsâheâs behaving. Just like they wanted.
âThis moping, the silent treatment, the lack of initiative youâve shown,â Logan continues, âwhatever point youâre trying to make, it would be better if you just said it. Then we could come to a solution and move on.â
âIâŠI donât understand.â
âHe means,â Janus says, his voice way too condescending, âthat this little poor-me-Iâm-the-victim charade youâve been putting on isnât fooling anybody. So if you wouldnât mind using your words?â
But heâŠthey didnât like it when he was being the way he was before. Why would they want him to go back to that? That was bad, they hated it, hated him, heâhe doesnât understand.
âRoman?â Patton prompts. âDo you have anything to say for yourself?â
âI donât understand.â
âTold you,â Virgil mutters, âhere we go.â
âIâŠyou didnât like it when I was being dramatic, or when I tried to give ideas or said I knew what I was doingâo-or when I tried to research what I wanted to do and show you, so IâŠI didnâtâŠI donâtâwhat am I doing wrong?â
âFor fuckâsâyou can stop it, Roman,â Virgil groans, âwhatever act youâre doing, great, we bought it, showâs over, now tell us whatâs going on.â
âNothingâs going on! Iâm not trying to trick you guys! Iâm just trying to be what you want!â
Janus scoffs. âAnd you think what we want is a limp, wet blanket of a person that shows no initiative and barely bothers to put in the effort?â
Romanâs mouth just opens and closes a few times, staring at him, before his gaze desperately lands on Remus. Remus will understand, he has to, he has to know Romanâs not trying to play a trick on them or anything, he has toâ
âRemus,â he starts, and has to swallow when Janus moves slightly in front of him as if to protect him, âRe, please, I didnâtâIâm not trying to do anything, I swear.â
ââŠwhy else would you be acting like this?â
Any hope he may have had that Remus would come to his defense drops like s stone to the bottom of the deepest ocean in the Imagination. The lump swells up in his throat and he has to look down.
âOh, look, here it comes,â he hears Virgil mutter, âheâs gonna cry.â
âIâm not.â
Virgil huffs and now Roman has to do everything in his power not to cry in front of them. He wonât do it. Itâs not fair. Heâs not giving them the satisfaction of it.
Thereâs a long pause before Patton sighs.
âDo you have anything else you want to say for yourself?â
He shakes his head.
âThen perhaps itâs better if you donât come to the meetings until youâve sorted yourself out.â
He just nods. Patton mustâve expected him to say or do something else because thereâs a sigh.
âThen you can go.â
Roman sinks out the second heâs given permission and hits the rocky cliffside on the way up to his dragonâs favorite perch. Heâs already losing the battle; tears and sniffles leak out of him as he fumbles for his bag with her brush and her snacks in it, stumbling up the cliff as the clouds roll in. He manages to clear the threshold of her mountain-top cave before his knees give out and her brush clatters out of the bag.
In an instant, she raises her head and turns to look at him, letting out a concerned rumble and promptly scooping him up in one of her claws and taking flight. He clings to her talon as they fly down to one of the small coves on the edge of the Great Sea, settling in the soft, warm grass and letting go. With tail, wing, and snout, she maneuvers him into the lea of her, wing lowered protectively over him like a blanket with her head turned so her nose nuzzles into the soft part of his chest.
âThey still think IâmâIâm being bad,â he hiccups as she purrs soothingly, âthey think Iâm faking all this, that Iâmâthat Iâm trying toâto trick them or something, I donât know what Iâm doing wrong, and itâs not fair because Remus gets to be as messy and over-dramatized as he wants and they like it, theyâre not evenâeven mad about it, itâs not fair, itâs not fair, itâs notânot fairââ
He dissolves into stupid, blubbering sobs and his dragon just huffs, blowing warm air over him in some phantom embrace and he throws himself in a heap over her snout, trying in vain to hold her back. She purrs in contentment, though he has no idea why, and just lets him be a mess all over her. Heâs just so tired of this; of not being right, of not knowing what they want, of not being able to just exist without being critiqued or criticized or mocked. At least he wonât have to attend the meetings for a while, but then that means he also wonât get to see the others for a while.
Maybe thatâs for the best.
Distantly, he hears the sound of water sloshing. He peers out to see the arms of the Kraken rising up from the water, the very top of his head poking out. The dragon lets out a rumble of greeting as an arm reaches toward them. She opens her wing to allow it to rest on the grass and Roman reaches out a shaky hand. Heâs still sniffling too much to say anything but he pats the arm and the Kraken trills. At the questioning burble, he shakes his head and curls up a little tighter. The water around the arms churns into a slight froth as the Kraken shifts. Another low trill rings out and the arm slips away, the shadow fading beneath the surface and moving away. Roman closes his eyes again, resting against the dragonâs scales, until he hears a faint voice coming from the water.
ââdrag me off like that, you know better, what is it you want to show me so badly over here?â
Romanâs blood runs cold. Remus. Ollie went to go get Remus.
He curls up even tighter and the dragon snuffles, lowering her wing protectively.
âRomanâs dragon? Whyâd you bring me here?â Footsteps on the grass as Remus gets closer and the dragon growls in warning. âWhatâs wrong? Are youâwait, Ro?â
No. Iâm not here. He curls up as small as he can go but that damage is done.
âRo, whatâre you doing? Did you fall? Are you hurt or something?â The dragonâs growl turns to a snarl when Remus keeps getting closer. âWhyâre youâŠare you just upset that we figured out your acting thing?â
Thereâs no way in hell he could ever hope to disguise his flinch. The dragon lifts her head and properly bares her teeth at Remus. Ollie rumbles in warning too.
âItâsâI donât get it, Ro. You had to knowâit wasnât exactly a believable thing.â
âRemus? Are you over here?â
âFuck, this place is pretty. Why do you think weâve never seen it before?â
âRoman hoarding it to himself, most likely.â
No.
No.
No, no, no, why are they here?
The Imagination is his space. His place to be alone, to be messy, to be himself. They canâtâif they take this too, where else could he go?
âYeah, Iâm up here, soâs Ro, we just need toâwhoa!â
Ollie had grabbed Remus bodily around the waist and thrown him far out into the water with a single arm. As the others come over the hill, more arms rise up and the Kraken takes a defensive stance, head raising with water pouring off the sides as it rumbles. The dragon growls too, her tail coming up to circle protectively around him.
âRoman,â he hears Patton call, his voice a little higher than normal, âRoman, come out and talk to us, please.â
Nope.
âFuck, that thingâs huge,â he hears Virgil mutter and part of him wants to snap not to call Ollie a thing. âAnd the dragon tooâhow are we gonnaâ?â
âWe wonât have to do anything, because Roman knows when enough is enough, and heâll come out and talk like a mature person, wonât he?â
Nope. No, the fuck I wonât. The dragon growls too.
âRoman, be reasonable,â he hears Logan say, âyou canât expect us to take you seriously if this is how you want to have this conversation.â
On the contrary: this is the most seriously theyâve taken anything to do with Roman for a long time, and he has no intentions of having any sort of conversation right now.
âYouâre not doing a very good job of demonstrating that youâve learned from your mistakes,â he continues, ânor that we should be taking you seriously.â
âOr that we should continue being so patient,â he hears Janus mutter.
He knew it was coming, itâs been the only thing coming for months now, but it doesnât make it hurt any less. Ollie heard it too, though, and gasps and scuffles come as more of the arms reach and Roman feels a sudden stab of fearâ
He throws his arm out and miraculously, Ollie notices. He pauses, a questioning burble, and reaches an arm to lie on the grass near Roman. Roman rests a hand on it again, trying to swallow around the lump in his throat.
âTheyâll be mad at me,â he whispers, âpleaseâplease justâjust let them. I canâtâI canât anymore.â
The dragon rumbles and Ollie makes a discontented noise, but his arms lower back into the water with a splash. Just then, another splashing noise accompanied by Pattonâs cry of relief signals Remusâs return to the cove. Roman closes his eyes and tries to forget that heâs here. Maybe if he stays still and quiet enough, theyâll leave.
âIâm fine, Iâm fine,â Remus says, âhe wasnât trying to hurt me, just get me away. Why he didnât say that when he was the one to bring me over here in the first place, I donât know, butââ
Heâs cut off when a furious set of burbles comes from Ollie.
âSlow down, I canât understand you like that.â
âUh, Remus, could you get some sort of translator so we can all understand?â
âSure. One sec.â A brief whiz and a flash of light. âThere. Now: from the beginning?â
Ollie burbles again, but this time a deep gravely voice comes from what Roman guesses is the translation device.
âRed Prince is upset.â
âRed Prince? Is that Roman?â
âYeah, thatâs what they call him. Whyâs he upset?â
The Kraken shifts. âYou have made him upset. Red Prince comes everyday to She-Who-Tends-The-Clouds and he cries. He is cold. He is scared.â
âScared?â Remus asks as the others mutter. âWhy is he scared?â
âHe was scared when I brought you.â
Roman flinches. Theyâre all going to take that the wrong way.
âWhy was he scared when you brought me?â
An arm lifts from the water and points. âBecause you bring the others. The Untouched. Those-Who-Do-Not-Shape.â
âThose who do not shape? I shape very much, thank you.â
âHe means you donât control the Imagination, Janny. But why would Ro be scared of that? Of you guys?â
Now his dragon snarls, her voice coming from the translator. âBecause you do not protect him. You protect Green Duke. You do not protect Red Prince, you are cruel to him. He is scared of being hurt when he comes here. He is scared now because you have come where you are not supposed to be.â
âUh, Miss Dragon? We only followed Remus, Remus brought us in here to show us something. We watched him get taken by that monsterââ
âDonât call him a monster,â Remus says lowly as Ollie growls.
ââsorry, sorry, by, umâŠby him and we wanted to make sure he was okay.â
âWhyâd you bring me, Ollie, if you knew Ro was scared?â
The Kraken shifts as the water froths. âI brought you because you are his brood mate. I thought you were going to help.â
The condemnation in Ollieâs voice is enough to make Roman wince, squeezing the arm still on the grass lightly. The Kraken stills ever so slightly, the arm pressing back against his hand. The dragon noses his hair, blowing warm breath over him.
âI am sorry, Red Prince. I did not mean to bring this here.â
He shakes his head. He could never be mad at Ollie.
âPerhaps weâve not had the best of first impressions,â Logan says, âIâm not sure either of us has the full picture here, but RomanâRed Prince, if you preferâhas beenâŠacting unfairly towards us in the past, and we are concerned about his behavior.â
âYou are correct in stating you do not have the full picture,â Ollie says, rising to an even more terrifying height, âfor you do not know how much hurt you have been causing Red Prince.â
âIâm not sure you understandââ
âWe understand that Red Prince is provoked to defending himself while the One-Who-Speaks-In-Storms mocks him. We understand that the One-Who-Speaks-In-Lies ridicules and confuses him. We understand that the One-Who-Speaks-In-Absolutes sees him as a disobedient child who only acts to get attention and not with other cause. And we understand that you, One-Who-Speaks-In-Rules, do not see him.â
The dragon picks up where Ollie leaves off, lifting her head to glare at them over the wing covering Roman.
âYou mock and belittle his interests and scold him for being hurt over it. You act proprietary over the things you deem yours and chastise him for doing the same. You hold him accountable for every word he speaks and do not think that your words could be wielded just as carelessly. And when one of you is hurt by him,â and here she snarls at Remus, âyou are quick to turn on him like a limb caught in a trap to be torn off.â
Roman hears the tense silence after she finishes speaking and braces himself.
ââŠI donât believe this,â Virgil grumbles, âis this what Princey does everyday? He comes here and what, makes them believe weâre bullying him? Abusing him?â
âTorturing,â Janus says lightly, âI believe torturing would be more apt.â
âI understand that youâve heard Romanâs perspective,â Logan says, his voice a little harder now, âbut surely you must understand that there are two sides to every story. Are you not at all interested to hear ours?â
âFrom how you have behaved since setting foot on these shores,â the dragon growls, âno, we are not.â
âDo you even know what he said about Remus?â Patton says. âWhat made him so upset and us all âturn on him?ââ
âHe said that Green Duke is scary, and that you are scared of him. Because he threatens you with weapons that are sharp and screams that make your ears bleed.â
âDonât you see how thatâs mean?â
âMean or not, it is the truth. And it is what Green Duke has said of himself.â
âTheyâre right,â Remus says before anyone else can say anything, âI did say that.â
âWhatâwhy?â
âBecause itâs true. He came and asked me why you guys listened to me and I said it was âcause IâŠwell, yeah.â
âOh, Remus,â and Janusâs voice immediately softening hits Roman like a lightning strike, âyou donât really believe that, do you?â
âI think that yeah, you guys are scared of me sometimes. IâŠgot caught off guard when Ro said it because Roâs never been scared of me. At leastâŠnot until now.â
Wait. Thatâs why Remus was so upset? Because he thought Roman was scared of him? No, thatâsâthatâs notâ
âBut what do you mean âbeing proprietary,â Ollie? Over what, the Imagination?â
âIt is Red Princeâs job to come up with ideas. He claimed ownership of the role and was scolded. And yet when he tried to work in the way that the One-Who-Speaks-In-Rules does, he was scolded once more.â
âWait, wait, wait, is this about that research thing Princey did like four months ago?â
âYou mean the âthingâ that Ro spent days on, researching and annotating his stuff so that you guys would understand how much goes into creating stuff for Thomas? That âthing?ââ
Thereâs a pause.
âThey did not even look at it,â the dragon says, âthey tossed it away while the One-Who-Speaks-In-Rules took offense to Red Princeâs comparison to his diligence.â
Thereâs another pause.
âWeâre notâŠweâre not seriously buying this, are we? That Romanâsâthat Romanâsââ
âCurrently got a very angry Kraken and dragon defending him and still so scared that he hasnât said a fucking word to us the whole time weâve been here,â Remus interrupts Virgil, âyeah, Virgil, I think weâre buying it. Why the fuck didnât any of you guys tell me this shit?â
âWe didnâtââ
âDidnât what? Didnât think I should know that Romanâs been hurting? Didnât think that Roman was hurt?â
âDonât act all high and mighty,â Janus warns, âyou also thought he was putting on an act until a few minutes ago.â
âYeah, and Iâm rapidly coming to the conclusion that thatâs not true and Iâve been a real Class A Dickbag to my brother for like, three months.â
Loganâs scoff hurts. âWhy would Roman act like that and believe it? In what set of circumstances would he ever behave that reasonably?â
Roman would not like to be here anymore. He shifts and taps the dragonâs side and she unfurls, humming soothingly as he climbs up into the dip on her back. Ignoring the shouts from the others. They take flight, climbing higher and higher into the sky, breaching the cloud layer and only then does Roman slump. Tears drying against the scales.
âTake me somewhere they wonât find me,â he begs, knowing sheâll hear it over the rush of the wind, âanywhere, please.â
***
âYou guys,â Remus growls as the dragon flies away, âare dicks.â
âAgain, Remus, you also believedââ
âYeah, I did. But hey, guess what I donât do: I donât make fun of Roman for getting upset or excited about stuff, I donât disregard his work or tell him heâs stealing my shit, and I donât make fun of him for being scared. My whole fucking life, our whole fucking lives, Romanâs never been scared of me. Not once. And now? Guess what, now heâs scared of me. Because of this shit.â
âHow could we have known this was how Roman was feeling? Itâs not like he told us?â
âYeah, I wonder the fuck why the person whose emotions you make fun of didnât want to tell you his emotions. Oh, wow is, what a mystery this is.â Remus scrubs a hand over his face. âFuck. Fuck.â
Ollie just watches them, arms idly toying with the water. He looks up at him, running a hand through his hair.
âYou said every night?â
âEvery night, Red Prince comes. Sometimes he is able to smile. Not often, not anymore. Mostly he cries, or is too quiet.â The arms shift again. âI have not heard Red Prince sing in a long time.â
That, more than anything else, sobers them. Roman sings. Thatâs what he does. The sky is blue, the grass is green, Roman sings. Remus takes a shaky breath and Logan adjusts his tie.
âWhy is Roman crying?â
âHe does not know what he is doing wrong. You did not like him as he was, you do not like him as he is now. You believe he is trying to trick you. What would he have to gain by tricking you?â
âPerhaps he thought that we would realize we treated him unfairly, and that we would apologize.â
âAnd did you?â
Thereâs another long pause.
ââŠoh, dear.â
***
Romanâs awoken in the night by his dragon snuffling at his shoulder. He blinks, sitting up from the bed of soft moss and flower-down to see a figure approaching the dragonâs cave. He blinks again and the silhouette of the wolf fades into view. The dragon hums a greeting and the wolfâs nose bows, before he steps aside and another figure appears.
Roman draws back and the dragon growls.
âItâs just me,â Remus says, hands raised, âI promise, Iâm the only one here and I locked the Imagination behind me, no one else can come in. He can confirm.â
The wolf huffs. Roman eyes both of them warily. The dragonâs wing drapes around him.
âPlease, Ro, please, I just wanna talk.â
The warring fear and hope make him stand on shaky legs, edging from the dragonâs protective embrace to where Remus can just about reach him. The wolf is a reassuring presenceâhe wouldnât have brought Remus if he didnât think he would be okay, he knows them both well enough.
The twins stand there, looking at each other in the thin shaft of moonlight.
âAreâŠare you scared of me, Ro?â
âNo.â
ââŠreally?â
âIâm scared of them. They all seem to think you need protection from me.â
âI donât,â he says in a rush, âI never did. I shouldâve told them, told youââ
âI said it wrong. Itâs not your fault.â
âYou said it fine, Roro, you said it fine. IâI miss you. The real you.â
A long pause. The dragon rumbles and the wolf blows out a long breath.
ââŠitâs not fair,â Roman whispers in the quiet of the night, âitâs not fair, Re.â
âI know, I know itâs not. Iâm sorry I didnât believe you, Iâm sorry I didnât knowââ
"They hurt me, Re, they hurt me and they didnât care at all and then they made it seem like I was always doing the wrong thing I I never knew what I was supposed to doââ
âI know, I knowââ
âI just wanted them to listen to me, I just wanted them to take me seriously and they never do, they never did, itâs not fair, itâs not fairâitâs not fairââ
Remus bundles his brother in a massive hug that sends both of them to the ground, Roman sobbing into Remusâs chest as someone hugs him for the first time in ages. Heâs so cold, heâs so warm, everything hurts, everything is so scary, he has no idea what the hellâs going to happen next, but then he feels the soft brush of the wolfâs nose over his forehead and the gentle rumble of the dragon lowering her wing around the two of them and he thinks maybeâŠmaybe he can just exist here for right now and thatâll be okay.
***
âPrincey? Whoa, hey,â Virgil says, raising his hands and taking a few steps back when Roman startles terribly, âdidnât mean to scare you, sorry, sorry.â
Roman just eyes him warily.
âWe, uh, we wanted to talk to you. In the, uh, in the living room. Are youâŠfree right now?â
ââŠI guess.â
Virgilâs shoulders slump in relief. âGreat. Great, uh, thatâs good. Uh, Remus is there too, soâŠâ
Oh, thank god.
He follows Virgil downstairs and still balks when he sees everyone. Thankfully, Remus is standing in his usual spot by the TV and he holds out his arm for Roman to come stand with him. He goes over and Remus immediately snuggles up to his side.
âRoman,â Logan says, and his voice is so soft that it takes him a moment to even realize heâs holding something, let alone that itâs one of the binders from forever ago, âthank you for joining us. We owe you quite the apology.â
âWh-what?â
âI apologize for how Iâve treated you,â he continues, still in that soft, soft voice, âit was rude and cruel of me to dismiss and belittle you the way I did. Especially with thisââ and he lifts the binderâ âthis is fascinating, and I would love to discuss it with you. IâŠunderstand that Iâve caused you considerable distress recently and I want you to know that IâŠIâm sorry, Roman, Iâm so sorry.â
âMe next,â Patton says, âIâm sorry too. I assumed you were being immature and rude to us and so I was immature and rude to you. But you were just trying to get us to understand how you felt and I didnât let you. Iâm sorry, Roman, really. You didnât deserve any of that, kiddo.â
âNow me.â And fuck, Janus is speaking gently to him too and Roman canât deal with this, he canâtâbut Remus holds him firmly. âIâm sorry, sweetie. It seems IâI seem to have a horrible habit of being very, very mean and cruel to you and Iâve never been more determined to break a habit.â
âGuess that leaves me.â Virgil grins sheepishly from under his fringe as Roman turns to stare at him. âIâmâŠIâm a real piece of shit to you, Princey. And Iâm gonna work on it. ItâsâIâm the reason shit feels really unfair to you a lot of the time âcause Iâm the one poking you until you snap back at me, and then only you get yelled at, which sucks. So IâmâŠIâm gonna work on that. But it still sucks, also Iâm sorry.â
âYou donât have to accept any of them,â Remus murmurs when Roman just stares bleakly at them, âyou donât have to decide anything right now either.â
Roman just blinks.
âDo you need to go be alone right now?â He nods. âOkay. You tell Ollie I say hi?â
He nods. Remus plants a big obnoxious kiss on his cheek and lets him go and he sinks straight into the Imagination, leaving the rest of them in the living room.
***
That was three months ago.
He did cry again that night, just because he was so overwhelmed. His dragon cuddled him and Ollie swam him around the pretty coral reefs to make him feel better. The wolf even gave him a ride over to Remusâs side to see the galaxy clouds from the tall tower.
He did accept their apologies after a few days, but he said heâd need time. They agreed and he feltâŠstrange.
He went to the meetings, Remus by his side, and slowly he started to share his ideas again. It didnât go very smoothly, not at first, but then bit by bit it got a little better. He still didnât want to talk about anything that was actually important to him, because that was too scary.
Then he had a panic attack when Remus wasnât there and Janus wrapped him up in all his arms, murmuring gentle reassurance in his ear while Logan carefully talked him through it. Patton made him hot chocolate and Virgil covered him in a weighted blanket so he could rest. He was so confused, so scared, so unable to relax until Janus helped him take another sip with a gentle kiss on his cheek and he broke.
It took Logan two seconds to figure out he was touch starved.
Tuesday nights became Cuddle-Roman nights, all of them swaddled in blankets and pillows while Roman cried a littleâor a lotâjust from how new this was. They got very sad when he said that and he didnât sleep alone for about a week.
He still went to the Imagination. Sometimes he needed to be by himself and there was nothing wrong with that. His dragon took him flying and cuddle with him on mountaintops, Ollie went swimming with him and the wolf went on walks when he was upset and needed someone to just be there. And Remus would always come play with him whenever he wanted to.
And maybeâŠmaybe things would be okay. Maybe things would get better now.
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#dragonbabbles#sanders sides#roman sanders#roman angst#roman sanders angst#remus sanders#janus sanders#deceit sanders#logan sanders#patton sanders#virgil sander#fic
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Little Monsters
INFO -requested by anon -im SO SORRY this took so long, so much happened and i have a lot of wips and an adhd brain -u!virgil, symp!janus and remus -virgil is janus and remusâ dad/older brother (its not super clear) -its implied that logan is romanâs dad/older brother (again, not super clear) -takes place in the mindscape -everyone has an animal form -virgils is a spider and logans is a bird
WARNINGS -u!virgil -abuse -religion -comparing child to demons and monsters
Remus tugs on his little brotherâs arm as the two run from the heavy footsteps behind them. âYou two little monsters canât hide,â a loud, echoing voice says as Remus shuts the closet door. He holds Janus close and listens close. The footsteps pass, âYouâve exhausted all your little rat holes,â The voice says a room away, and Remus lets out a shaky breath. He rubs circles into Janusâ back to try and calm the younger, but he knows it wonât help much. âGod, why do mistakes like you two even exist? Just to turn people into evil little monsters just like you.â Remus shakes his head at the words, itâs not true its not true itsnottrue- The door to the closet is ripped open and Virgil yanks hard on Janusâ arm. Remus didnât even notice he had been muttering. Itâs his fault then, that his brother is being dragged down the hall, screaming and crying, begging for Virgil to let him go. Itâs his fault. His fault. He tries to grab Janus back but Virgil pushed him back by the throat and heâs down, coughing and gasping for air. Janus is dragged into Virgilâs room and the door slams. Remus bangs on it, trying to get it open, but itâs locked. His fault. Heâs a monster. He ruined Janus. Was a bad example. His fault. âHello?â Remus jumps at the new voice. His head snaps to look at the stranger, who wears a back polo and blue tie and is about Virgilâs age. Behind him is a boy in a white and red shirt that looks strangely a lot like Remus. âWho are you?â The boy says, and Remus tries. Tries to say his name, but he canât. âIâm a monster. You shouldnât be talking to me.â The older one frowns, âYou look like an ordinary person to me. Monsters arenât real. Remus is taken aback by this, he canât think of any response. âWhereâs Virgil?â The younger boy says, and Remus is plunged back into anxiety. âHe- he- heâs in there with my brother. Janus. Heâs hurting him! Help us!â Remus starts babbling about what had happened moments earlier but the other two canât understand him. âRoman, you help him calm down, okay? Iâll go in and see whatâs happening.â Roman nods and kneels next to Remus, âI need you to look at my chest and copy my breathing, okay? Logan is going to help your brother but we need to get you to calm down.â Remus tries his hardest, and Logan tries the door. Itâs still locked. He knocks three times, âVirgil? Itâs Logan. Let me in please.â The door opens, and Logan enters, giving one last glance to the two kids that look so alike.Â
âLogan. What can I help you with?â The logical side looks around the room quickly but carefully. Blankets half off the bed, scuff marks on the floor, desk clutter knocked over and on the ground. It looks like there was a fight. âI just met one of the other dark sides. You didnât tell us they were kids. You said they were monsters, even as I told you monsters werenât real.â Virgil sneers, âThose little shits are definitely monsters. Evil little failures, both of them.â âWhere is the other one?â Logan says, getting to the point. He has an idea of what happened here. Virgil frowns, âHeâs currently being punished. Shouldnât be disturbed, he might hurt you.â Logan angrily frowns, âI donât think thatâs the case. I know you hurt him. The boy in the hall is covered in bruises. Where is he.â Virgil hisses as his spider form starts showing, âThe little demon deserved it. You donât get to tell me how to raise my kids.â Logan threatens right back, allowing his wings and talons to show through, âWhere. Is he?â Virgil takes in Loganâs taller and more powerful form, and scowls, âIn the closet. You can have them, but donât come crawling back to me when they turn out to be hellspawn.â Logan relaxes again, then races over to the closet. Sure enough, inside is a small boy with scales littered on one side of his face. âJanus, yes? Your brother is waiting outside for you. Virgil wonât bother you anymore.â Logan leads Janus out of the room, glaring daggers at Virgil all the way, who glares back.Â
Remus races to hug his brother as they come out of the room. âThank you, thank you, thank you,â He sobs at Logan, who sadly smiles. âWe should get the two of you away from Virgil. Letâs go back to the light side, okay?â Janus sniffles, âWill we be safe there?â Roman nods, âOf course! Youâll have me there to protect you!â The boys giggle and Logan smiles, and leads them to sink out.Â
#dmitri-writes#dmitri writes requests#janus sanders#u!virgil#unsympathetic virgil#unsymp virgil#remus sanders#virgil sanders#ts remus#ts janus#ts virgil#logan sanders#ts logan#roman sanders#ts roman#child roman#child remus#child janus
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Lifeboat from the Heather's musical but make it âšR o m a nâš
#well who made her captain?!#tss#tss roman#thomas sanders#sanders sides#tss roman angst#roman sanders#princey sanders#roman sanders angst#tss princey#the is about Patton maybe?#because he seems to be at the lead of a lot of decions#and hes morality#not unsymp!#i feel like he'd feel this way especially after svs:redux#the betrayalll#tss prompt#sanders sides prompt#song prompt#ghost gabs
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So uh.... guess who rewatched Miraculous Ladybug and imagined Apathy!Roman as Chat Blanc?
#sanders sides#roman sanders#ts roman#apathy roman#dark side roman#dark side au#tw unsympathetic roman#idk if this counts as unsymp#but like technically he is????????#tw angst
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âYou win, happy?â with Roman?
"You got what you wanted."
Roman glared at Janus, trying to contain the shaking in his hands or the tears burning at the back of his throat. The snake just looked back at him, something akin to pity in his eyes. He cocked his head, confused.
"You were right. I am evil." Roman could barely get the words out, the words wrapping around his throat and choking him now that they were in the air. They were out, they were true, and Roman can't breathe.
Janus's eyes widened, "Roman-"
"No, no! You were right! You turned me into the bad guy. And now- now-" Roman took a shuddering breath, the heartbreak and anger and shame in his chest like a lance. He looked down at his outfit, white and red and gold, and saw nothing but a costume. He's not a prince, and never has been.
With a snap of his fingers, the white of his suit was now black, and his red sash was more of a burgundy color. His hands were covered in white gloves and his logo had flipped upside down on both of his arms.
Roman heard a gasp over the sound of his own rushing blood. The new suit was...
Well, it made him look the part.
Barely managing not to cry, he looked back up at Janus, who's eyes were wide and who's hand was stretched out like he was reaching for Roman.
Roman's face broke out into a cruel grin, hiding suffering and guilt and loss behind it.
"You win, happy?"
#writing prompt#slightly unsymp janus#roman sanders#dark side roman#sorry if its not good im kind of spacey#angst
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This place was never home
#em draws shit#art#doodle#sanders sides#logan sanders#ts logan#logan angst#angst#does this count as unsymp roman/patton?
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Remus ducks out because of how everyone else makes him feel, and by the time they notice, it's because Deceit is panicking. Patton tries to say it's fine that he's gone, that he was only bad for Thomas, untill Roman grows sick and looses his color. Deceit tries to leave to find Remus but Patton tries to put it off thinking Roman will suddenly get better.while that happens Logan leaves and journeys into the falling apart imagination, to find a young Remus crying, yelling out for Roman -Rayne
Warnings: Unsympathetic Patton, Minor blood(itâs literally brought up once in very very little detail), lmk if thereâs anything I should add!
MasterpostÂ
ââââââââââââ
It had been a happy day.
The sun was shining through their windows from Romanâs part of the Imagination, Patton was making lunch for everyone, Logan and Virgil were having a light debate about something that really didnât matter while Roman doodled in his sketchbook.
Roman barely even noticed himself that he was starting to feel a bit off. It could have been the fact he didnât eat breakfast, so he just pushed aside his inability to come up with anything interesting as just his brain saying he needed food. No one noticed Romanâs occasional shift and grimace or the way he looked slightly too pale.
They ate their lunch and continued with their activities, except Roman only felt worse after he had eaten. He doesnât say anything as he moves on from drawing in his sketchbook to working on the script for their next video. But his hand trembles over the notebook and he feels chills roll down his back despite the house being fairly warm. Roman bites his lip, trying to force his hands to steady, though he only fails. The living room is fairly empty now though, Logan had escaped to his room to work on schedules, Patton was cleaning the kitchen, and Virgil was napping on the opposite side of the couch. So no one noticed Roman only growing worse and worse. And Roman just assumed it was one of his off days.
No one noticed, at least, until late afternoon.
Deceit had rushed into the light commons, looking behind every piece of furniture and swearing profusely when he didnât find what he was looking for. Deceit didnât acknowledge that he startled Virgil or that Patton had scolded him for cursing.
âDeceit, whatâs got your snakes all tangled?â Roman asked when Deceit had checked behind their TV. Deceitâs eyes snapped to him and somehow grew even wider.
âRoman? Whatâs wrong with you?â Roman frowned when Deceit didnât answer, so he turned his head a bit too quickly and huffed. The action, however, made Roman feel a bit nauseous, and he refrained from reaching up to cover his mouth. He was fine!
âNothing, just an off-â
âOh my God, Roman youâre turning gray-â Virgil was the first to point it out, scrambling over on the couch to get to the princely side. Patton was suddenly in the living room upon hearing this.
âWhatâs all the ruckus kiddos?â
Deceit just shook his head. âI need to find Remus- this isnât- fuck this isnât good,â Deceit made a beeline for the stairs, but Patton blocked his way.
âDeceit, whatâs going on?â Patton kept getting in Deceitâs path any time Deceit attempted to pass him, and the dishonest side let out a frustrated growl.
âPatton thereâs no time!â
âIf you just told us-â
âRemus is fucking missing, and Roman is suffering because of it! Whatâs not clear to you?â
âSo your solution is to go invade the Imagination? Romanâs fine! And Iâm sure Remus is just planning to come and attack one of us again, thereâs no need to worry.â Patton had rolled his eyes as he spoke, crossing his arms.
âUm, Pat?â
âNot now, Virge.â
âBut-â
âI said not now!â Virgil flinched as Patton raised his voice, his grip on Roman accidentally tightening and Roman whimpered ever so softly. Patton took a deep breath. âRoman will get better, todayâs just a bad day for him! He said so himself!â
Deceit looked past Patton, to the top of the stairs. He made brief eye contact with Logan before the logical side disappeared around the corner, and Deceit huffed loudly.
âFine! But Iâm not leaving until Remus comes back, alright?â Deceitâs voice was just slightly too loud, loud enough to cover the sound of a door closing upstairs. Deceit trudged over to the couch, settling on Romanâs other side.
Roman was looking far worse. He felt as though he could get sick at any moment, and Virgil had been right, he was turning gray. His sash was already a dark and unsaturated red, and his skin was growing paler by the minute. But Patton just waved it off with the explanation maybe Thomas was just losing some motivation, it wasnât something new, and he went back to cleaning.
-
In the Imagination, things were falling apart just as quickly as Roman was getting sick. Logan hated the Imagination, it was no place for him. But Deceit would know if Remus was just pulling a prank on them, and Logan knew Remus wouldnât go as far as to make Roman sick. Patton maybe, but not Roman.
The ground shakes softly under Loganâs feet as he walks briskly through what was once a forest. Romanâs forest. The trees are almost regressing, some turning into saplings while others disappear below the ground in front of his own eyes. He passes a lake that turns smaller and smaller, first going dry before refilling with dirt. And then the color. Everything was void of it, and Logan knew that wasnât right. Romanâs land was vibrant and loud and alive. Nothing was supposed to be dying in his part of the Imagination.
Itâs when Logan gets closer to the border, everything now looking like an empty field, that he hears it. A wail that could shatter glass in an instant, and Loganâs running towards it, calling out for Remus.
As he gets closer, he realizes the wails arenât just cries for help. Theyâre cries for Roman.
Logan nearly trips over the curled figure, but he stops before he can hurt them. And the cries momentarily quiet into soft sobs as they look up at Logan.
âYouâre not- youâre not Roman-â he hiccups and the young figure finally registers in Loganâs mind as Remus. Except⊠he wasnât Remus anymore, not the one Logan had been expecting to find. Still, Logan crouches down so heâs at eye level with the child.
Logan tries to keep his voice as even as possible. âNo, but I know where he is.â
Remusâs eyes darken slightly, and he looks down, sniffling as he tries and fails to wipe away his tears. âSo he did leave me? The bright man made him leave?â He asked softly, looking back up to Logan with tears still streaming down his cheeks. Logan tilted his head.
âThe bright man?â
âYeah, in the- the light blue shirt! He wanted to take Roman- I havenât- where is he? He left me, didnât he?â
Logan had thought he had felt rage before, but that was nothing compared to this. âYou mean Patton took Roman?â Remus seemed to think for a moment, and then he nodded, and it took all of Loganâs energy to not curse up a storm right then and there. He tried to keep a neutral expression. âI donât think he wanted to leave you, Remus, in fact, I think Roman would be very happy to see you.â
âBut what about the bright man?â
Logan reached out to brush away Remusâs tears and push his hair from his face. âDonât worry about him.â
âBut what if he hurts me- he took Roman away because he didnât like me- I was bad! What if he does it again?!â
Logan offered a small smile, hoping it looked reassuring. âAs I said, do not worry about him. Iâll deal with him if he tries, okay?â Remus bit his lip, a bit too hard as a small bit of blood seeped out from under his teeth. Logan sighed softly. âRemus, do you want to see Roman?â
Slowly, Remus nodded, and Logan scooped him up off the ground just as the area around them was turning white. âHold on tight, okay?â Logan mumbled as Remus buried his face in Loganâs shoulder, nodding, and Logan sunk out, holding the child tightly in his arms.
It had been a happy day.
ââââââââââââ
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