#creativitwin angst

[aerosolsprite]

thinking about how even before we knew roman’s name, he was “princey”. like yes they called him creativity sometimes, but more often (iirc) he was referred to with his royal title.

thinking about how remus was introduced as “the duke” and didn’t even let them try and assign him his own category, even if that meant revealing his name in his debut episode

because roman isnt the full creativity. and remus isnt some seperate concept. they are creativity. together.

[pencilpat]

You couldn't take the headcanon of Roman being physically warm and glowing a little like a ball of light and Remus radiating cold like a corpse and having a persistent aura of darkness around him from me if you tried.

Something about them both using their powers of creativity to subtly influence the way Thomas & the other sides perceive them. Warm and welcoming vs fear-inducing and Wrong.

Kid Remus finding it funny to put cold hands on people for a reaction, so he made it permanent to fuck with the other dark sides (heat-seeking creatures) when they were all together as friends, and being vibrantly dark whether he used to want it or not just by merit of how Thomas views him and his role. Roman doing the opposite way back when for the light sides because Patton and Logan both used to love how bright and comfortable he could be and compliment how much like a little star he was.

The twins balancing the temperature of a room every time they're there together, and maybe using it for perfectly temperatured cuddling back when they got along. They belong fitted together but neither of them will ever want that again.

Roman being horribly touch starved so he tries to incentivize people to touch him vs Remus being painfully touch averse and trying to get people to NOT.

Roman slowly getting colder and dimmer the more upset he is but forcing the warmth to stay because maybe it'll make someone comfort him since he's useful as a heater. Remus slowly warming and staring to shimmer when he's happy or excited but trying to keep cold so that he doesn't have to deal with the prospect of any piece of him being likeable.

[lio-the-chaotic-nonbeanie-weenie]

Sticks, Stones, and Words That Do Hurt

Summary: Despite Remus’ comforting attempt at making him feel better about his bruises, Roman still feels awful as he endures the mistreatment the others put him through. There’s only so much one bruised prince can take before he snaps.

Pairings: None, BROTHERLY CREATIVITWINS

WARNING: BRUISES, UNINTENTIONAL UNSYMPATHETIC SIDES, ROMAN ANGST

(A/N: This fic is inspired by Insult To Injury by @part-time-zombie! Hi, friend! I hope you don't mind this little companion piece!)

AO3 LINK

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Usually the saying goes, “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me.” Unfortunately, it doesn’t seem to apply to Roman and his fragile ego. Someone had to take all the hits that Thomas got and Roman was willing to. Surprisingly, the bruises that Roman received from Thomas’ slips ups and wounded pride weren’t as painful as the ones Roman received from the others whenever he himself messed up and was mocked for it. What makes it hurt more is that none of them cared. None of them realize just how painful their words are. How it leaves his skin covered in several patches of painful bruises. Bruises so bad that it leaves Roman writhing and crying. These bruises have even made it hard to fall asleep at night, the pain keeping Roman up until the sun came out.

            Lately though, Roman’s gotten some relief from his bruises. It’s temporary but he’ll take what he can get. What he can get is Remus’ strange way of comforting and caring for him. It’s…a bit new to him, sort of dizzying. He had half expected Remus to laugh at him and call him a loser. Maybe prod at every bruise and make it hurt worse but…he didn’t. Remus was there by his side, trying to ease the ache from his bruises. Roman has come to appreciate it, seeking Remus out when his bruises get really bad. It comforts him to know that at least one person is on his side.

            However, that doesn’t end the abuse that Roman still puts up with from the others. Patton still scolds and guilt trips him for any slip-ups and mistakes without letting Roman explain his side of the story. Logan still lectures him, dismissing idea after idea and glaring at him in contempt. Virgil still makes fun of him, teasing him for everything he does and putting him down because the anxious side thinks it’s fun. Janus still manipulates Roman, using his own words against him and constantly reminding him of his massive ego. The same ego that is slowly crumbling apart with every bruise the others unknowingly deal to him. One day though, that ego is going to shatter and Roman’s going to break. Not even Remus could stop this.

            It starts out small at first. Roman had just come back from a meeting, groaning in pain as he shuts the door and locks it. It wouldn’t stop anyone from sinking in but at least no one will just barge in. Roman didn’t want to see anyone after the fiasco that was him sharing his recent ideas. He didn’t need any more bruises on top of the ones already coloring his skin. With another groan, Roman changes into loose clothes, summons some ice packs, and flops onto his bed. He sighs and stares at the ceiling as he lays under the many ice packs on his arms, legs, and stomach.

            Roman doesn’t know why he had to be cursed with an ego so fragile that he bruises just as much as a rotten fruit. Maybe he is a rotten fruit. Nobody wanted rotten, no good, bruised, fruit. Sighing, Roman hopes Remus comes around soon. He was still talking with the others when the princely side decided to slip away as soon as the meeting ended. At least Remus didn’t care if his fruit was rotten.

“Of course, he’d like rotten fruit. He likes gross stuff. I’m gross.”

“Who said you were gross?”

Roman blinks and looks up to see Remus sinking up and going over to his bed.

“Oh, hi, Ree. No one said that. I did. I’m a gross, rotten fruit.”

Remus chuckles.

“You’re not gross. Annoying, sometimes, but not gross.”

Another tiny bruise appears and Roman groans, shifting under his melting ice pack.

“Not helping, dummy.”

“Ah, shit. Sorry, sorry.” Remus winces.

Roman sighs.

“It’s fine.”

            Remus frowns, seeing the many ice packs. It actually makes him sad to see his brother looking like grocery store meat in a freezer. Usually, his twin always looked so bright, sparkly, and happy. He’s never, ever seen him so…broken. He never knew he was so broken. That he took so many blows to protect Thomas’ ego. He especially never knew how awful the others were to his brother and they didn’t even know that. They didn’t even care or bother to understand.

With a huff, Remus plops down onto Roman’s bed.

“So…did the others do this again? Need me to bash in some heads?” he asks, fixing one of the ice packs that started to slide off of Roman’s leg.

Roman sighs and nods.

“They did. They weren’t really happy with my ideas. And no, please don’t bash any heads in. It’ll make things worse.” he mumbles.

“Damn. I just wanna wring their necks and show those fucks what they’re doing to you, Ro.”

Roman lets out a hollow, empty laugh. It’s not him at all.

“You don’t think I tried to tell them? All they did was call me dramatic.” he sighs. “I’m tired, Ree. I don’t know how much longer I can stand this.”

Before Remus can respond, he watches in horror as some bruises grow darker and new ones appear in between.

“Ro, stop. Don’t say that shit. You’re hurting yourself too.”

“Who hasn’t hurt me?”

Oh, Roman…

Remus falls silent. He can’t really answer that question as if he were innocent. He’s hurt Roman countless of times, and he hadn’t realized until now just how much Roman internalized each word. The dark duke can only deflate in guilt as he looks over this twin.

Roman then turns his head, gazing back with dull green eyes that seem almost unfamiliar to Remus. They’re supposed to be as bright as emerald jewels.

“Don’t look at me like that, Ree. Don’t pity me…” the prince mumbles before looking up at the ceiling again.

“I wasn’t. I just…fuck, RoRo. I didn’t realize I was really hurting you. I thought we were doing what siblings normally do, y’know? I never knew that you really believed in all that awful shit I said.” Remus sighs. “Ugh, mushy feelings. Gross.”

Roman cracks a tiny smile.

“I don’t think we’re normal siblings, considering you’ve knocked me out unconscious.”

“Shut up, I feel bad enough already.” Remus grins, rolling his eyes fondly as he chuckles. Roman’s smiling. Good.

“I know. But I’m going to use that against you all I want.”

“I’m never going to hear the end of that, am I?”

Roman giggles a bit and his bruises lighten somewhat as the tinier ones fade. It’s moments like these that he clings onto, using them as his painkillers. Actual pills can only numb the pain so much until that pain returns to wake him up in the middle of the night. He doesn’t mean to be overly dependent on Remus, but he had no one else. Remus was the only one who actually understood him. Roman wishes these moments would last just a bit longer, his laughter subsiding as he groans again from all the movement. It’s quiet for a moment before Roman speaks again.

“Ree?”

Remus hums in reply.

“Sometimes I wish I was like you.” Roman sighs.

That catches Remus off guard. He thought Roman wanted to be nothing like him.

“But you said...”

Roman looks away in guilt.

“I know. I’m sorry. I’m still trying to figure out all of this good and evil made-up nonsense.” he swallows. “But…I think, more than anything, I envied you. I thought if I were better than you, they’d love me more. They’d care more. I did everything they wanted, and it still wasn’t enough.”

“Fucking hell, Ro…” Remus breathes out.

“Then I saw how they were with you. They weren’t annoyed or mad or called you dramatic. You didn’t care what they thought of you. You were allowed to be whatever or whoever you wanted. You never got in trouble for it.”

“But you don’t need to be like me, Ro. You’re cool on your own!”

Roman sniffs and shakes his head.

“I’m not. I’m…I’m a loser. I can’t even be a proper prince.”

A new bruise appears, dark red against pale skin. Remus’ eyes widen. Oh no.

“Ro, wait!”

“I can’t come up with good ideas. I’m a failure of a side and everyone knows it.”

Another bruise appears and another. The ones already there darken again.

“Ro!”

Roman sniffles, tears rolling down his face.

“I really am a no good, rotten fruit.”

Another bruise and another and another and-

“Roman, stop! You’re hurting yourself again!” Remus cries. “Just…just stop saying that shit. I know it’s hard to believe but you’re more than what anyone else says, okay? You. Are. Vital.”

Roman trembles as each bruise throbs and aches.

“Ree…”

Remus feels tears pricking his own eyes.

“You’re my brother and I don’t like seeing you hurting yourself or getting hurt by the others. You’re just as important as them, okay?” the dark duke sniffs, fixing another ice pack that fell off of Roman’s arm.

“I don’t know, Ree…I guess…I just…I want to scream at them, but I feel like I’ll just be screaming at brick walls. I’m so, so tired.” Roman mumbles. “But maybe I deserve it…”

Remus sighs. His poor brother. Sure, he’s had awful, awful thoughts of seeing his brother hurt or him hurting his brother, but he never really wanted to see it through.

“No, Ro. You don’t deserve this bruised ego shit. Not one bit, okay?” he shakes his head and huffs. “Look, just let me confront them. If they won’t listen to you, I’ll make them.”

Roman shakes his head, more tears dripping down his face.

“No, no! They won’t listen, Ree. I told you. They don’t care. They won’t believe you anyway. Just…be here, okay?” he mumbles.

“But…okay.” Remus sighs once more. “But you’ll have to tell them sometime, Ro. This isn’t right.”

Roman nods numbly.

“I’ll try but if they still won’t listen…I don’t know what I’ll do.”

“I’ll still be here, Ro. I can’t really heal your bruises, but I’ll try not to make them worse.” Remus ruffles his hair.

“Thanks, Ree. Can you stay a little longer today? I wanna nap but I don’t want the others bothering me if they sink in here.”

“Sure, Ro. I’m always here for you, brother.”

“Thanks, Ree. I’m glad you at least don’t hate me.”

Before Remus could say anything more, Roman’s started to drift off under his many, melting ice packs. The dark duke sighs and gets comfortable, leaning against the headboard as he sits and watches over his brother.

“Oh, Ro…if only you knew…”

            Roman unfortunately remains blind and disbelieving of what Remus is trying to show him, choosing to continue to listen to the barrage of awful words that the other sides throw at him. It only makes things worse for Roman as the days pass by. Yet, Roman presses on, stubborn to the point that he feels as if he could do this. The poor, broken prince really wanted to believe in sticks and stones.

            So, here that prince stood one day as he made himself breakfast. With his bruise still aching as they healed, Roman had to pour his cereal slowly and carefully so he wouldn’t spill and make a mess. He did not want to give the others anymore fuel to use against him. With his cereal poured, Roman puts the box away and grabs the big milk jug. The plastic feels nice and cold against his palms and for a moment, the prince is tempted to hug it for relief on his bruises…and maybe because he might possibly want a hug.

A faint snicker snaps him out of his thoughts but Roman dares not to turn around.

“Hey, princey! You awake in there?” comes Virgil’s teasing voice. Great. “You really gotta get out of your head, dude. Not like you’ll find anything there.”

Janus chuckles. Oh no.

“Please, I’d be surprised if he found anything at all.”

“Now, now, kiddos. I’m sure Roman just didn’t get his beauty sleep. You know how much he needs it.” Patton chimes in.

It doesn’t really sound like scolding and all Roman can do is bite his tongue as bruises begin to bloom one by one under his costume. His hands tremble as he unscrews the cap, trying to ignore the others talking while he began pouring his milk.

            Meanwhile, Remus sits and watches as the others practically insult Roman, not realizing the damage they’re doing. They probably think they’re knocking his brother down a peg or two. It makes Remus’ blood boil but Roman had begged him not to do anything. Yet, not doing anything won’t stop Roman’s pain or make it hurt any less. Especially when the others keep talking.

“I’m not surprised that Roman is in his head again. He seems to never leave it, really.” Logan hums without looking up from his newspaper.

Virgil laughs.

“How could he? It’s his favorite place.”

“And it matches his ego.” Janus teases.

            Roman jolts at that one and as a dark bruise starts spreading under his shirt, he jerks in pain and ends up splashing milk all over himself and the counter. Great. At least the cold liquid will ease the pain a little bit. Sighing, Roman sets the jug aside and summons a towel. He ignores the pain and moves to clean up his mess, hiding his embarrassed face as he hears laughter erupt behind him.

“Goodness, kiddo. You really do need your beauty sleep.” Patton chuckles. “You’re such a mess.”

“Oh, wow.” Virgil wheezes. “You really were deep in that big head of yours, dude.”

“Goodness, Roman. Better not start crying over that spilled milk.” Janus adds.

            Remus watches as everyone laughs and teases Roman. They must think it’s all in good fun, but he knows better and glances at his twin. Roman is staring at his half-filled bow that barely got any milk. Still, Remus sits quietly and shifts in his seat. Usually, he would join in on teasing Roman but now he can only watch as his twin is practically and unknowingly being insulted by the others. Remus doesn’t even want to imagine how awful the new bruises are going to look.

            As for Roman, he finishes cleaning up the mess and puts the milk away. He also makes the towel and his bowl of uneaten cereal disappear. He doesn’t feel like having breakfast anymore. Faking a smile, Roman turns to the others and shrugs despite the searing pain in his arms.

“You know what? That’s okay. I wasn’t too hungry.” he chuckles slightly. “I…I think I’ll just work on those scripts.”

“Are you serious? You’re gonna have a fit and skip breakfast because you spilled some milk? Wow, you’re sooo dramatic, Roman.” Janus hisses, shaking his head at Roman.

“Who knew the prince reforms into a beast without beauty sleep?” Virgil adds.

“Well, Roman tends to be…clumsier when he’s tired.” Patton chuckles. “But yes, Roman. No need to get upset over spilled milk. You can make another bowl if you want but we’re all done eating, so you’ll have to eat alone. Sorry, kiddo.”

“I’m sure he’d rather focus on himself anyway, Patton” Logan chimes in.

            Roman winces again and tries his best to not lose any bit of his composure as more and more bruises appear under his clothes while the others that were healing are back to where they started if not worse. He keeps the smile on his face despite his eyes shining with unshed tears.

“No, really. I’m not hungry. I’ll just eat when I can. Excuse me.”

            With that, Roman sinks out and Remus stares at where his brother was standing. Everyone else was still laughing about Roman and Remus had to hold back from knocking all four of their heads together. Sighing, Remus quietly sneaks away too before anyone could notice he was even there, huffing under his breath as he tries to ignore the others’ fading laughter.

            Remus then sinks up into Roman’s room and…oh no. Roman’s back in his pajamas, dark red and blue and purple bruises all over his arms and legs. This time Roman’s decided not to summon any ice packs and has chosen instead to curl up. Remus can just barely hear his sobbing as he leans closer to look at his brother’s new bruises. The dark duke’s tummy curls in discomfort. This is so, so wrong. Completely wrong. Why can’t the others just see that they’re breaking Roman into bruised little pieces? That it’s hurting Remus himself too? Remus rubs at his eyes, trying not to let any tears fall. Roman needs him.

“Ro…” Remus sighs, sitting by Roman.

Roman hiccups, turning to look at Remus. Oh no, there’s some small bruises on Roman’s face too. Are the others still talking about Roman downstairs?

“Ree, it hurts. My entire body hurts. My heart hurts. I-I wanna tell them so bad.” the prince whimpers.

“Why don’t you?”

“Because��Because I just can’t.”

Remus ruffles Roman’s hair, scratching at his scalp in an attempt to comfort him. It’s a strange thing for him to do. He’s never had to comfort his brother. Then again, he never saw just how much he was suffering behind his princely mask.

“Are you ever going to tell them?” the dark duke asks.

Roman sniffs, shrugging.

“I don’t know, Ree. I already told you, they’re not going to listen to me.” he mumbles, leaning into Remus’ touch.

Remus sighs, moving closer to Roman.

“Then what are you going to do? You can’t hide and mope here forever.”

“I don’t know either.”

Roman then shifts and turns to lay on his other side, his back to Remus now. Remus sighs once again, staring at his poor brother.

“Ro…you can’t keep letting them hurt you…”

            Yet, Roman lets himself suffer more and more each day. His bruises grow darker, each one more painful than ever. Still, Roman remains quiet. He lets the others throw insult after insult at him. He agrees with everything they say about him, even if most of what they’re saying is not true. After each tirade, Roman would return to his bedroom with his skin covered in many, many bruises. Sometimes, a few would appear on his face and the prince would merely just apply some foundation to cover it up should he need to make an appearance later.

            As days became weeks became months, Roman’s pain got worse and worse. Sometimes, he couldn’t even leave his bed and Remus had to disguise himself and take over for Roman. He knows it won’t fool the others long, especially with Virgil and Janus watching him. Still, Roman refused to confront the others and Remus knew it wasn’t his place to bring up Roman’s troubles.

Even then, Remus wishes he could say something or even scream until he couldn’t so the others could wake up for once and see how horrible they really are. Since he can’t though, Remus can only comfort his twin through it all as he worries what will happen if Roman keeps letting them abuse him. If the others kept pushing Roman and kicking him down, he’s going to break. The ego is going to break, and the others don’t even realize that. It terrifies Remus, really. Nothing usually terrifies him but the thought of seeing his brother in a completely broken state is one that has been keeping him up at night.

One day though, Remus knew it was getting really bad. Roman knew it too but pushed on as he stood by during today’s discussion. They were going over Thomas’ regular schedule along with his filming schedule as things needed to be arranged. Roman remained quiet, only speaking when spoken to as he tried his best to smile through the pain. He even forced himself to bear the pain from even the tiniest movements he would make. Despite his body aching more and more by the second, Roman kept his act up. The show must go on after all. Roman feigns another strained smile and-

“Hey, Princey! In that big, empty head of yours again?” comes Virgil’s teasing voice.

Roman laughs, doing his best to put all his energy into it. Virgil means well. Virgil means well. Virgil means well. Virgil means-

“Y-Yeah, sorry about that. Did you need me for something?” the prince stammers.

“Yes, Roman. We need you…” Logan starts.

Oh!

“To please pay attention in this discussion.”

Oh.

Another bruise appears and Roman quickly tugs his right sleeve down, Remus frowning beside him.

“R-Right. I’m sorry, Logan.” Roman feigns another smile. “I just…have a lot going on in my mind, being creativity and all.”

Logan sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose.

“Yes, but please put them aside for the moment. Daydreams will only add delay to the schedule, and I don’t have the time to rearrange the deadlines and disrupt Thomas’ work pattern.” he huffs.

“Hey, come on, whale dork. Ro’s trying his best. No need to get bitchy about all this.” Remus cuts in, seeing the subtle way Roman was shrinking in on himself.

Roman shoots a grateful glance towards Remus as he rubs his own arms while no one’s looking.

“I wouldn’t have to be…well, that, if Roman would just stay focused and out of his head.” Logan retorts, fixing his tie. “Honestly, I don’t know how he gets anything done at all.”

Roman winces, feeling a bruise spreading on his back as he hugs himself.

“I…I do get my work done and you know that, Logan.” He huffs, trying to defend himself.

Remus is proud for a moment.

“True, but I also know you have the tendency to finish that work past the deadline we agreed on. You’re always making excuses as well.” Logan lectures, eyeing Roman with disappointment.

Remus frowns again and his hands ball up into fists that quickly turn white as he tries to hold himself back while Roman himself holds back unshed tears.

“T-They’re not excuses. Sometimes I have setbacks, and the work takes a little longer. It doesn’t mean the schedule is ruined completely.”

“Last I checked, Roman you have caused several delays in the schedule in just the last month. The others might have caused minor delays, but your delays have affected the schedule the most.” Logan points out, checking his notepad.

Roman can barely stop a soft squeak from slipping out as more and more bruises appear.

“B-But it’s not like I do it on purpose!” he stammers. “Creative work takes just as much time as your work does and sometimes it takes longer!”

Logan frowns angrily. Oh no.

“Are you seriously comparing our functions right now? How self-important must you be, Roman? For once in your life, get that ego under control.” he growls.

“It is under control! A-And I’m not comparing, I’m just explaining that my work takes a lot of time too and sometimes even more time!” Roman cries, not caring if the tears finally fell.

“Oh, shut up, Roman! I’ve had enough of your dramatic whining!” Logan seethes. “If you’re going to act like a diva during this whole discussion, I suggest you remove yourself from the group and stay in your room.”

Remus nearly lunges at Logan but stays in his spot as his nails dig into his skin. Meanwhile, Roman feels more and more bruises appearing, the existing ones searing with pain.

“I-I…”

“Hey, kiddo? Maybe Logan’s right. Why don’t you cool off and get yourself together? Maybe you can join in the next discussion when you’re much more focused.” Patton suggests after a moment of silence.

“B-But-!”

“Come on, Princey. Don’t start again. We don’t need an encore of your little diva tantrum.” Virgil huffs.

“Yes, and it’s not like creativity is needed here at the moment.” Janus adds.

Roman trembles as he feels a big, hot-white painful bruise bloom over his heart.

“…You’re right. I’m sorry.”

“Ro, wait- “

But Roman quickly sinks out.

            Once Roman finally got back to his room, he stumbled to his bed. Every step was excruciating. It was as if his body was bathed in hot lava. Every bruise screamed and stabbed at him as he laid out in bed, barely able to move and too much in pain to summon even a single ice pack. Letting the tears fall again, Roman sniffles and lets himself just lay there. He deserves it. He deserves every single bruise. He wants to scream and yell and tell the others everything but…they would never listen. They wouldn’t care. He tells himself that over and over and over so it would never leave his mind.

            As Roman lays and suffers and sniffles, he wonders what the others are doing. They must be continuing the discussion as if they didn’t just kick him out. They must be happier now that he’s out of the way. They must have forgotten all about him. That agonizing thought alone gives Roman a few more bruises, making him groan. He must look completely awful. Worse than the rotten fruit he thought he was. At least the others didn’t have to see this. Roman could just lay here and-

“Ro!”

“Remus?”

            Remus goes over to Roman’s side as soon as he’s in the room. He looks his twin over and is horrified to see more bruises than the last time. Reds and blues mixed with yellows and greens cover Roman’s arms and legs. Remus is almost too afraid to know how bad it is under Roman’s clothes. And Remus is almost never afraid of anything. Holding his rage back, Remus sits by Roman and summons some ice packs for his brother.

“Ro…why do you keep letting them hurt you?” Remus sighs as he starts placing ice packs on his brother.

Roman almost wants to cry from the cold relief he’s being given. That darker part of his mind hisses that he doesn’t deserve it though.

“…I don’t know, Ree. It just feels…easier. I mean, someone has to keep the ego from getting too big.”

Remus huffs, placing the last ice pack on Roman’s forearm.

“Yeah, but if they keep shrinking it down, they’ll only break you completely.” he sighs before drooping and letting out a single tear. “I…I don’t want to see you break, Ro. I can’t lose you again.”

“Ree...”

            Sometimes, Roman feels as if he’s selfish. From wanting that damn callback to dragging Thomas around just to get him to talk to the cute guy in the food court to this. Remus is hurting too and it’s all because of him. Why can’t he just do something right? Why did he have to be the one in charge of wants, wishes, and dreams when he can’t even reach any of them? When he's constantly forced to watch every single one of those dreams shatter like paper-thin glass under fate’s hands? What was the point of being in charge of those dreams and wishes if he was punished for daring to reach out to them? Why-

“RoRo, you’re doing it again! Stop it! Stop giving yourself bruises!” Remus wails.

Roman glances at himself in a nearby mirror and he feels himself break just a little more.

“I…I can’t help it, Ree. I can’t!” he sobs. “I can’t stop thinking about them! About me and about everything wrong with me!”

            Remus feels lost. Right now, he’s watching his brother fall apart bit by bit and he feels so helpless. Despite the fights and insults they’ve been through, Remus would never wish anything awful on his brother. Sure, the voices in his head were annoying and often loved to give him sickly scenarios of Roman in various forms of torture but Remus would never bring that thought into existence. Seeing his twin covered in so many bruises that are getting worse by the second is something he wished were just a terrible thought. For once, he didn’t want to imagine what would happen if they got any worse. If the others don’t stop then…

Remus sniffles at that thought.

“Ro, you have to tell them. You have to listen to me and believe that you’re more than the shit they give you. You can’t keep letting them abuse you!”

Roman shakes his head, still sobbing.

“But they won’t listen!”

Remus sighs and huffs.

“You don’t know that!”

“Yes, I do!”

“For fuck’s sake, Ro! Why do you keep running and hiding, you damn coward?!”

Roman groans and his bruises darken, making Remus hiss.

“Shit, shit! I forgot! Sorry, Ro!” the dark duke flails, fixing the ice packs.

“…It’s fine.” Roman grits, the throbbing slowly subsiding moments later.

Remus shakes his head. “It’s not. Shit, Ro…”

            Remus takes a moment to think of his next words. Sometimes he forgets that Roman is a little fragile now. It’s as if he could physically shatter with one soft touch. That’s the terrible, no-good part though. Roman’s not supposed to be fragile and broken. He’s supposed to be big, brave, strong, and powerful. Right now…Roman just looks sad. It makes Remus’ heart ache even more. This really isn’t right and if he hadn’t promised Roman that he wouldn’t tell the others about his bruises, he’d be marching down there right now to yell at them. The dark duke sighs and blinks away more tears.

“Ro…” Remus swallows a lump in his throat, trying so hard not to cry. “Tell me...why don’t you want to tell them.”

Roman sighs.

“I already told you. I just can’t.”

Remus shakes his head.

“But there has to be another reason. Something more?”

“…If I told you, you’d think it was silly.”

“It’s not silly, Ro. It’s something holding you back from telling those shits what you’re dealing with and the fact that they’re affecting you.”

Roman sniffles, glancing up at Remus as he thinks on his words.

“You promise you won’t laugh?”

“I promise.”

Roman nods then stares at his bruised hands as he swallows the last of his little pride.

“I…I’m scared, Ree.”

Remus’ heart aches. His poor, poor brother…

“Scared of what, Ro?”

Roman sniffs as the past events play in his head. The cereal fiasco, the argument between him and Logan, every single moment in his life where the others caused him so much pain without ever noticing.

“That even if I did tell them and they finally saw me…things would never change.” he admits. “They’d just feel bad and blame themselves, treat me like I’m some fragile thing that they can just fix, and then when I think I’m okay…they’ll break me all over again and go back to not caring.”

Remus feels his fists clench again. He promised. He promised. He promised.

“What else, Ro?” he gently presses, breathing out as he pushes his anger down.

Roman sighs.

“I’m scared they’ll never believe me. That I’m just seeking attention. That they’ll always see me as someone to keep kicking down so the ego doesn’t get too big.”

“Fuck, Ro…that’s…fuck, I really wish you’d let me do the talking. I can’t believe they’ve broken you so much…”

            Roman feels something wet on his arm and he looks up to see Remus…crying. Remus almost never cries. It’s very rare that Roman sees his twin cry. Somehow, Roman feels like it’s his fault that Remus is crying. They are able to feel each other’s pain after all, but he never wanted to drag his brother into his suffering. It wasn’t fair to him.

            Still, Roman feels so tired. He wants the pain to go away. He wants to stop crying and to sleep normally again. He wants to stop aching and dying inside. Unfortunately, faking a smile and playing his regular act of being okay was slowly starting to crumble. Maybe…Maybe he wanted to snap too. He wanted to scream and show them all his bruises. Let them wallow and drown in their guilt. Maybe he does want them to be the ones that feel bad for a change. Roman’s almost tempted to just tell them and let them beg on their knees for forgiveness. Isn’t that what’s supposed to happen in the first place?

            Roman feels selfish thinking about it though. He would be no better, making the others suffer because of his own pain. Remus is suffering already because of him. The prince’s thoughts feel all mixed up now, whirling around his head as if it were a spinning salad spinner. Sighing, Roman glances at Remus again as the last few tears slide his face. What a sad, pathetic prince he really is.

Then-

“You know what? What if you don’t have to tell them?” Remus breaks the silence a moment later.

Roman blinks at his twin.

“But I thought you wanted me to tell them?”

“You said they wouldn’t listen right? Then we’ll show them instead. Show them what they’ve done to you. Show them how much they’ve hurt you. They can’t deny it with the evidence right here!”

“I don’t know, Ree…I don’t want them to start feeling bad and then try to fix things just because they feel like they have to and then go back to being awful once they think I’m okay.”

Remus holds up one of Roman’s arms, keeping the ice pack from slipping off.

“Trust me, Ro. I don’t think they’ll even try to say one horrible thing after seeing these bruises.” he affirms, patting Roman’s gently.

Roman sighs. It’s a good idea but…

“Still…I don’t know if I can handle them if they start pitying me…”

“You don’t have to. You don’t have to forgive them until you feel ready. Hell, they don’t deserve your forgiveness at all if that’s what you feel like too.” Remus huffs. “This is about you, Ro. Not them.”

The bruised prince leans against Remus’ side, taking comfort from him as he usually does.

“You really think they’ll finally understand?”

“I know so! And no matter what happens, I’ve got your back.”

            Silence falls in for a moment as Roman mulls over Remus’ words. For someone who doesn’t really bring up his own issues and chooses to stuff it in a coffin, Remus seems to have a good point. Roman himself hasn’t really had a chance to tell them how he really feels. He’s gotten terrifyingly good at acting and wearing a gleaming smile. Meanwhile, all of his true feelings end up being forced back down his throat as he tries his best not to let them back out.

There were so many times he wanted to scream and cry but held back. A prince does not throw tantrums after all. Roman huffs at that thought. He’s tired of being told how to be a prince. As he thinks about it more and more, Remus’ idea sounded very, very appealing. Roman wanted to show them just what exactly they were doing to him. All of it. The prince rubs his tears away.

“I’ll do it.”

Remus blinks in surprise, turning to look at his twin.

“You will? I mean, it was an idea but you don’t- “

Roman shakes his head, staring at his bruises once more.

“I want to. You’re right, Ree. If I can’t make them listen. I’ll show them just how much they’re hurting me.”

“Ro…”

“I’m tired of hurting all the time, Ree. I’m tired of the bruises and the insults…and their ignorance. I want it to stop and at this point, I’ll do anything.”

Remus smiles softly, ruffling the prince’s hair.

“I knew you’d come around. I’m proud of you, Ro. I’ll be on your side when we confront everyone.”

Roman feels some of the ache in his body lighten.

“Thank you, Ree.”

“Always! So, when do you want to do this?”

Roman, for the first time in months, cracks a tiny smile.

“There is a meeting coming up in two days…”

Remus smiles even bigger.

“How convenient!”

            Roman finds himself a little eager after this. Nervous too but mostly eager. He’s been through enough pain, and he’s tired of being quiet about it. He’s never been excited for an upcoming meeting either, that same eagerness overlapping with dread. Part of him worries that it won’t work, and it’ll get worse, but he reminds himself that he’s always got Remus in the end. Even if the others still won’t understand or listen to him, at least Remus will.

“Ro?”

            Roman blinks and he’s at the meeting. The two days had gone by fast. The wait felt as if time was going by oh so very slowly. Still, here they were now. Roman was finally about to show them once and for all. Everyone had been surprised when he showed up in a loose long-sleeved shirt rather than just his prince costume. Sighing, Roman watches the meeting go on before turning to his twin. They’ve both been ignored for the meantime.

“What is it, Ree?” Roman asks, fiddling with his sleeve.

“I thought you were going to show them.” Remus answers, nodding to his brother’s sleeves.

“I am. I just didn’t want to do it too soon. They’d just call me clumsy or think I’m faking. I want them to see as it happens.”

Remus nods in understanding.

“Okay, Ro. I’m here if you need me to sink you out or y’know…”

Roman giggles softly.

“Ree, no.”

“Eh, worth a shot.”

            The twins giggle again and for a moment Roman feels a little less sore. He’s really glad to have a brother like Remus, strange as that is. He reminds himself to be a little kinder and more patient with Remus after this is all over. Taking a deep breath, Roman rolls his sleeves up and gazes at his bruises. Now all he has to do is wait for one of the others to-

“Roman, are you paying attention?”

There it is.

Roman looks up at Logan.

“Apologies, Specs. I got lost in thought again.”

Logan sighs, pushing up his glasses.

“I’m not surprised. Please, try to focus. Even if Creative input isn’t needed.”

“O-Of course, Logan.” Roman answers as he winces.

Then Virgil lets out a huff.

“Come on, L. Princey’s probably thinking about himself again. I mean, at least something’s going on in that big, empty head of his.”

“My, and I thought that ego had stopped growing.” Janus adds.

Roman winces again and again, letting them go at it as new bruises appear and the old ones once again darken.

“I can’t help it. I…I am in charge of the ego.” he feigns a smile.

Logan sighs and nods.

“Yes, Roman. You constantly remind us every second of each day.”

Virgil snickers.

“Again, big head, Lo. Can’t miss that, either.”

            Laughter fills the air for a moment and Roman tries not to crumble from the growing pain. This is what he wanted to happen. He winces as more and more and more bruises cover his body, painting his arms red and purple, black and blue. It hurts so much but he chose this. They’re going to see what they’ve done to him. Despite all the pain, Roman stays quiet and lets them talk, waiting patiently until they notice him.

            Meanwhile, Remus feels a little worried, watching his brother take the brunt of all this. He shifts restlessly on his feet and glances at his twin, frowning at his darkening bruises. Strangely, Remus can feel them throbbing in pain. He hates that his brother has to go through this so often. That his brother had to suffer because his ego was a little more fragile than anybody else’s. Still, Remus is also proud of his brother. Roman’s been quiet about his pain for years now. He knows Roman needs this. Even if it means the others won’t care or will only start to care now.

“Okay, kiddos. Let’s focus on the meeting and not worry about Roman right now.” Patton chimes in, snapping Remus out of his thoughts.

“Please, he can worry about himself.” Virgil rolls his eyes.

Logan nods, clearing his throat.

“Yes, let him do that. It’ll help the discussion continue without any… noisy interruptions.”

Several more bruises appear and Roman groans at each one. It hurts so much but he lets them color his skin. He wants them to see all of it. See what they did.

“Right. I…I’m sorry for interrupting.” Roman speaks a moment later, hissing through the pain as his bruises grow. “I don’t mean to. I just- “

“Roman, you always say that and yet you continue to do so.” Logan interrupts this time. “Why can’t you just…oh.”

“Oh, goodness!”

“Princey…what the hell? Your face…”

“Oh my…”

            Finally. They see him. They see his bruises. They see as some bruises grow darker and new ones paint his skin. Roman stares back at them, numb and tired. Of course, they’re concerned and worried now. They only care when he’s physically hurt. Roman knew it. Roman knew they wouldn’t believe him without proof.

            Beside him, Remus steps closer and glares at the others. After all this time of watching Roman suffer, he can finally see an end to it. Or at least see Roman stand up for himself and put them in their place. His lips twitch into a small proud smile as he glances at Roman for a bit, gently squeezing his arm in assurance before letting him go.

            Roman takes a deep breath, looking at all of their faces. This is what he wanted. Despite his hammering heart and his growing, aching bruises, Roman doesn’t feel afraid. He feels tired and angry. Hurt. He doesn’t even care if a few tears have already escaped and are rolling down his face.

“You all say that I am Thomas’ ego. You’re right. I am.” Roman starts after a moment of silence. “Tell me, when an ego so fragile keeps taking so many hits, what happens?”

Remus shivers. He’s never heard his brother sound so cold. What have they done to him?

No one answers for a moment. Then-

“Oh…Oh no…how did I forget?!” Patton gasps in horror. “Oh, Roman!”

Roman only stares back at Patton before turning away.

“Of course, you forgot. You were too busy pretending everything was okay to even care.” he huffs.

“P-Patton, what’s going on?” Virgil asks, wringing his wrists.

Patton shrinks in guilt, sighing.

“The ego is bruised and since Roman’s the ego…”

“I take all the hits. Whether it’s aimed at Thomas or me. I take it all.”

Roman lifts the front of his shirt up, his chest covered in the biggest, angriest bruise. It makes everyone gasp in horror again. Good. He wants them to see how they’ve wounded him.

“Princey…” Virgil whispers. “Fuck…I didn’t know we were…I was just…”

“Joking? Oh yes, because making fun of my ego and accusing me of being completely self-centered is so funny. Right, Janus? Logan?”

The logical side remains quiet but Janus shifts in his spot.

“I…wasn’t aware that the saying literally applied to you, Roman…” the snake side tries to explain.

Roman laughs hollowly and Remus shivers once again. His poor brother.

“And yet, you seemed aware of every single one of my weaknesses. You didn’t even hesitate to use them against me. You should be proud of your work, Janus.”

Janus, for once, falls silent with nothing to say.

            Roman looks around the room, tired eyes glazed over with tears. It almost felt relieving, finally having their attention and showing them the pain they caused. It also felt heartbreaking. They were supposed to be a family. They were never supposed to hurt one of their own. It just makes Roman and his bruises ache a little more. He just couldn’t understand. He loved them so much. He fought for them and protected them. So why did they hurt them? Why couldn’t make them happy?

            They all stare back. Patton doesn’t know how he hadn’t realized he’d been hurting his kiddo. Virgil thought he wasn’t hurting Roman at all. That it was all banter. Logan thought he was keeping Roman in line and making sure he was focused. He hadn’t realized his words were affecting Roman like this. The term ‘bruised ego’ wasn’t something he was expecting to see in a literal sense. Remus…well, he was the only one who understood Roman’s pain. He knew the all too familiar feeling of rejection.

“R-Roman…is…is there anything we can do to amend this?” Logan asks, breaking the silence.

The tension, however, still hangs very heavily in the air.

Roman stares coldly at Logan.

“You think you can just magically fix this?” he hisses before that hollow laugh is heard again as those tears fall. “You all did this to me! You can’t just make it feel better by trying to take back every word you said! You’ve already done your damage!”

Remus feels his chest ache for Roman.

Roman laughs and laughs and then he cries, the pain he kept wound tightly inside now unraveling.

“I don’t mean to grow a big head. I don’t mean to be arrogant or self-centered. But I do it anyway. For all of you.” he sniffs. “What kind of ego would I be if I didn’t act that way? Would you rather I let the ego fall apart and destroy Thomas’ self-esteem?”

One by one, Roman watches them shrink in guilt. He didn’t want to have to do it this way, but he had to make them listen somehow. He definitely owes Remus a lot after this.

“Roman, please…” Logan tries again. “Forgive us, we truly didn’t- “

“No, no, no!” Roman cries, shaking his head. “Shut up, Logan! Shut up! You don’t get to feel sorry for me anymore! You of all people never understood! All you cared about was your stupid schedules and…and your deadlines!”

Remus whimpers softly, his chest aching again. Poor, poor Roman…

“You moan and groan about always being ignored but you don’t have a problem pushing me down!” Roman continues, chest heaving as more and more tears fall. “What, because the big-headed prince can take it? El principe es estupido? I don’t even get to defend myself because Thomas forbid, I’m being the mean one!”

“K-Kiddo, come on, we can- “Patton tries this time.

“No, we can’t work this out.” Roman huffs. “You’ll take care of me until I feel better then you’ll forget and hurt me all over again.”

“At least know that we’re sorry, Princey.” the anxious side pleads next.

Roman shakes his head at Virgil.

“You always are, aren’t you? I never get to apologize for my mistakes, but you do. Even if you are sorry…I don’t forgive you.”

“What? But- “

“I’m not a fool, Virgil. You’re only apologizing because you feel bad about what you did. Not about me. Once I say we’re cool, you’re going to go back to what you think is harmless banter.”

“Roman…” Janus speaks up again, but he still doesn’t know what to say.

Roman turns and glares at Janus.

“I don’t want to hear anything you have to say, snake. You already won so you can stop hurling lies and insults at me.” he huffs.

            Silence falls in again from everyone else, the guilt heavier than ever. Patton so, so desperately wants to help his kiddo and take care of him, take away the pain he’d been suffering from. Virgil wants to do anything at this point for Roman’s forgiveness. He wishes he could take back everything he said, stop his past self if he could. Logan hates to admit it but Roman’s right. He thought he was keeping Roman in line, making sure he knew his place. He had no idea he was pushing him so far down or silencing him more and more. Had he known they’d been suffering in the same silence, he would’ve helped but his want to be heard blinded him. Janus feels just as terrible. He was really meant to protect the go. He hadn’t realizing he was causing it to crumble along with Roman.

            Roman stares back again tiredly then shakes his head, rolling his shirt back down. After all this time, he finally got to say what he wanted and told them how he felt. A little part of him feels bad for blaming them and making them feel guilty but he reminds himself that he had to do this, or it would just keep going like Remus had told him. Now that it’s done, Roman wants nothing more than to leave and hide for a while.

“Remus…” the broken prince turns to his brother, adrenaline wearing off. “I’m done here. I’m going to my room.”

Remus nods, patting his brother’s shoulder in comfort.

“I’ll be right behind you, Ro. You did good.”

With that, Roman sinks down without another word. Remus goes to follow-

“Wait!”

Remus pauses, looking over to see a very guilty Patton.

“W-Will Roman be okay? Can we…Can we see him sometime?” the fatherly side asks.

Remus feels fury bubbling inside, but he stamps it down for Roman’s sake, growling lowly instead.

“It’s not my fucking place to decide when he forgives any of you. Roman will talk to you when he goddamn feels like it. Until then, fuck off.” he warns.

“And you’re allowed to be with him? You knocked him out once!” Virgil hisses.

“I did.” Remus hums before getting in Virgil’s face with another growl. “But I didn’t hurt him the way you did. I never made him feel like complete shit. I never made him hate himself. All of you did. I’m no saint but even I can own up to that shit for him.”

Remus then turns to Patton.

“And you of all people don’t have an excuse, Froggy. If you knew, you shouldn’t have forgotten.” he then turns to Logan. “And you. I hope you had fun knocking my brother down a peg. You got what you wanted right?”

Finally, Remus turns to Janus. He loves him but not when he’s hurting his brother.

“Janus…I don’t even know what to say to you. I thought you’d done enough in the courtroom and after the wedding, but you just couldn’t stop, hm? You were supposed to protect him.”

Remus sighs.

“Until Roman decides what’s next, none of you are going near him or his room. If I see any of you hanging around his door, not even he’ll stop me from ripping your head off.” he threatens, moving to sink out.

“Oh, and if Thomas asks, tell him what you did to Roman and for once, own up to your fucking shit.”

Then Remus sinks out, leaving the others to process what just happened. By the time Remus sinks back into Roman’s room, he finds his twin curled up in a ball, sobbing. Remus feels his own chest start to burn. Had the bruises worsened since the prince had sunk out? He goes over to check on his brother, sitting beside him. The dark duke can hear how painful his sobs sound.

“Ro? I know you just went through a lot out there. Wanna talk to me about it?” Remus asks, trying his best to comfort his twin.

Roman hiccups and sniffs.

“D-Do you think they hate me more? I know you said I did good but…”

“Oh, RoRo…no, they don’t hate you. They feel like shit because of what they did. You’re alright, okay? You really did do good.”

Roman peeks up at Remus and the dark creative side is reminded of the shy little prince he grew up with.

“E-Even if I lashed out and…and made them feel bad?” he asks, tears glistening on his bruised face. “I didn’t mean to do that. I was just…I was so tired and angry and everything just came out.”

Remus shakes his head, smiling softly.

“Hey, that’s what happens when you finally open that bottle inside. It’s like a big ass explosion of feelings and things you’ve been shoving in there for years.” he explains, wiping his brother’s tears away. “You did nothing but stand up for yourself and told them how shitty you feel. You told them about what they did to you and I’m proud of you for that, Ro. So, yeah, You did good.”

Roman manages a tiny, faint smile.

“I guess. Thanks, Ree. Though it’s weird hearing you say you’re proud of me.”

“Eh, we’ll both have to get used to it because if those shitheads won’t give you the love you deserve, your big brother’s gonna have to do it for you!” Remus ruffles Roman’s hair.

The princely side lets out a slight laugh.

“Ree, we’re twins.”

“Shush, I’m in big brother mode. You just tell me what you want to do now and we can do it, okay?”

Roman smiles a little more and nods, wanting to just be with his brother.

“I just want to take a nap and forget everything that just happened with the others. Can you stay with me, Ree?” he asks in return, curling up again.

Remus pats Roman’s head, tucking him in.

“Of course, Ro. When you wake up, we can raid the fridge and watch a movie.”

“Sounds good. Thanks, Ree.”

“No problem, Ro. Oh, and don’t forget, you’re more than what they say. You’re important as fuck and you are needed. If you do forget, I’m here to remind you.”

“You’re not gonna bonk me in the head again, are you?”

Remus grins.

“Nope! Just good old brotherly love. Now rest!”

            Roman laughs tiredly and tries his best to get comfy. Some of the aches and bruises are starting to fade but the rest will take some time to heal. For now, Roman glances at Remus one last time before letting himself drift off. Even if he doesn’t feel comfortable with the others at the moment, at least his brother is still here to make him feel better in his own silly and strange way.

            As Roman sleeps, Remus lounges back and dims the lights with the wave of his hand. He then snaps and Roman’s door locks. He then summons his Morningstar, placing it beside the bed. Just in case. He then pulls out his phone and settles in, ready to watch over Roman while he finally heals from his pain. Remus is now more than ever determined to prove to his brother that someone does care and that he’s needed here. Remus then glances at Roman’s sleeping form and decides he’ll start now, even if Roman’s can’t hear him.

“I love you, Ro-bro.”

[glacierruler]

Creativitwins angst

I don't normally draw kid sides, so this was fun!

If you like, please reblog!

Taglist: @cutebisexualmess @nebulous-astronaut @uhhh-hi-there-i-am-nervous @oatmeal-stans-the-trash-rat

If you'd like to be added/removed let me know!

Again, if you like, please reblog!

[theeerealpunkin]

Tw Blood, implied murder

Au idea where Roman kills Remus when they're kids cause he gets pressured by Patton or something, I didn't think this thru all the way, i just wanted to draw angst & Roman consumed by guilt

Should I do smth serious with this?

(Cut because tw)

[tastic-in-its-finest]

:(

[brandstifter-sys]

A Misunderstanding

Word Count: 2741 (Ao3)

Rating: T+

Characters: Remus, Roman, Virgil

Relationships: Dukexiety, Creativitwins, platonic prinxiety

Warnings: Intrusive thoughts, mild gore, innuendo, panic attacks, remus angst

Remus is convinced that Virgil hates him. Roman is tired of hearing about it, and gets to the bottom of things. And Virgil, well he's been desperate to keep a secret for a while, but he might be willing to share a little...

(Inspired by this post before it flew off the rails)

---

Anxiety. That was Virgil’s specialty, whether he was feeling it or causing it in others. So naturally it made sense that Remus would feel anxious about Virgil at least sometimes. 

Roman, however, could not afford to handle Remus' personal woes while he was trying to work. The flood of all the horrible ways Virgil could kill him or abandon him was far too much for one prince. 

“Stop lurking and tell me what you expect me to do about this—I can only listen to your rambling for so long!” he huffed and set his quill in the inkwell on his desk. He then spun to face his bed with the taste of strawberries ghosting over his taste buds. 

“I don't know!” Remus whined and appeared, flopping on the royal sheets, “I'm not trying to think about how he hates me! If I were, you know I'd be thinking about his ass too!” 

“He does have an impressive posterior,” Roman mused before shaking off any of his own lewd imaginings. If Remus could project his thoughts, there was a chance Roman could too.

“Exactly! Which is how you know l’m not trying to think this stuff!” Remus groaned and rolled on his back. 

“Why are you thinking these things? Surely there's some root cause,” Roman sighed. 

“Probably because I scared him really bad a couple years ago. I didn't think it was scary, I just thought it was funny to see how grossed out my fun ideas made everyone.” 

“You were obnoxious back then—I still have nightmares about the talent leeches crawling in my ears!” 

“I'm still obnoxious!” Remus laughed and sat up, “I wish that was the reason he hates me instead!” 

Roman blinked owlishly at him. As the romantic side, he could always tell when someone had strong feelings for someone. He could practically taste the palpable energies in the air. Virgil’s hatred was akin to old gas station coffee, and he used to think he was the one who made that taste the strongest, at least until he saw Virgil interacting with Janus. Not even once did he get that taste when Virgil interacted with Remus. 

“You think he hates you?” 

“Duh! You didn't see his face when I shared my brilliant idea!” Remus pouted. 

“What was the idea?” 

“Basically me getting wrapped up in a spider web and then getting sliced into cute little duke chops when the webs got too tight. Oh! And then a giant spider ate me! It was so ridiculously cartoonish, I figured it wouldn't be too bad! There wasn't even any blood!” 

“And you think that—out of all of the horrors you've shared—that is what he hates you for?” 

“Well I don't share them willingly anymore, so yes, and I don't make it any better! I try to keep it in and it doesn't work!” 

“You actually try to keep those thoughts to yourself?” Roman scoffed incredulously and rose from his chair. His script would have to wait, and soon, so would Remus. 

“You might not believe it because I share with you all the time, but you can poke around in here whenever you want, so I have no problem putting it out there!” Remus retorted and sat up. 

“Then let me poke around before my appointment shows up,” Roman said and sat next to him. 

“You might not like what you find!” Remus teased but let Roman grab his hand. They immediately fell into a trance. 

Sifting through his brother's cluttered mind was often a challenge for Roman, but the memory he wanted was at the top of Remus' mind. Once he found it, he could see everything. 

He found himself looking through Remus' eyes in the common area. He was hiding behind the couch, waiting to strike. Roman could taste Red Bull Blue Edition in the air. He knew that taste was Virgil's platonic appreciation. So he was nearby. 

Remus screeched and jumped from his hiding spot, startling Virgil so badly that he leapt back into the wall. 

“Dude what the fuck?!” Virgil yelped, his voice distorted by the memory. 

“Check this out!” Remus laughed and projected his intrusive thoughts onto Virgil. Roman opted to avoid that part of the memory. The description was more than enough. 

Remus was cackling like a hyena as he released some of his stress. Roman could see the horror taking over Virgil’s face, the blanched skin, the wide eyes, the obvious jump in his heart rate showing in his neck. 

But the taste that he got was far from Red Bull Blue Edition or old gas station coffee. Roman swore it was Monster energy drink. And it became stronger as Remus' laughter died down. 

Remus couldn't taste it, all he could see was the horror etched onto Virgil’s face. This poor idiot had no idea.

Roman came out of his trance and let go of his brother’s hand. Remus looked miserable, slouching and more tired than a moment before. 

“I have to go,” Remus sighed, “I have to feed Winnie, Sarah, and Mary.” Roman said nothing as he sank out. If he needed some time alone, Roman could respect that. 

Plus he was going to ask Remus if leave. He was expecting company. 

And who should show up at that exact moment? 

Roman could taste Red Bull Blue Edition before there was a knock on his door. That was Virgil, of course. He skipped over to let his guest in for their movie night. 

“Ah, Virgil, come in!” he said as he opened the door. Virgil was just standing there with his hands in his hoodie pockets. 

“Is it just you in there?” Virgil asked and stared through Roman, daring him to lie. 

“Yes, Remus just left.” 

Virgil tensed but followed Roman inside, sitting on his bed. He was uncomfortable, more so than usual, as he watched Roman set up the TV. 

“How can you stand having him in your room?” Virgil finally asked, with as much bitterness as he could muster. Roman swore he tasted Monster. 

“He barges in so often I got used to it. As long as he doesn't make a mess it's manageable,” he shrugged, “It's just what brothers do.” 

“But what if he does that thing with your thoughts?” Virgil persisted. Roman glanced over his shoulder and studied Virgil. The man was chewing his thumbnail and curled into himself. Perhaps it was a slip of the tongue, since he and Remus kept their connection a secret. 

“Well, if it's on purpose, we fight. A proper duel. He can't always help himself from projecting his thoughts onto others.” 

Virgil stared at him for a moment, processing his words. Roman finished setting up, oblivious to his confusion. Only when he sat beside his guest did he see that they weren't on the same page. 

“No I meant when he reads your mind and forces you to confront it,” Virgil muttered shyly as the opening credits to Alice in Wonderland played. 

“Remus can't read minds, Virgil. He can't literally get into your head and mess around.” 

Virgil shifted uncomfortably and stared at the screen. Roman knew he was thinking hard about something, something about Remus. 

Roman knew better than to interrupt Virgil’s musings, at least not when he was calm. And he had to watch his movie! 

It was just after Alice got away from the caterpillar that either one spoke. 

“Do you hate him?” Roman asked Virgil, pulling him from his trance. 

“What?” 

“Do you hate Remus?” he repeated, already aware that Virgil didn't. 

“No? You know what my hate looks like.” 

“Then you avoid him because you think he can read your mind?” 

“Exactly. He did it before and I don't want him to do it again.” 

“Virgil, he cannot read your mind. Remus has no idea what you're thinking. In fact, he is convinced that you hate him.” 

“But I don't. I don't hate Remus,” Virgil huffed and curled into himself. 

Roman could taste a hint of Monster in the air. He could see the faint blush under that white foundation. And then it clicked like a dislocated bone getting reset. 

“Then tell him that. I can tell when someone is in love or loathing and he doesn't believe me!” Roman groaned and flopped on his back. 

EEP

Roman let out a manly squeal and Virgil yanked him up by the shirt collar. 

“What did you tell him?!” Virgil barked, his eye shadow turning as black as pitch and his eyes blazing with rage. 

“That you don't hate him!” Roman retorted and pushed him away, “I know what your hate tastes like and I know you don't hate him! What more is there to tell?” 

Virgil let go of his shirt and blanched. 

“You like him,” Roman muttered, “Don't you?” 

Virgil stayed silent and unnervingly still.

“I swear on my beloved sword that I won't tell anyone, and I won't tell anyone if you decide to clarify.” 

“I—uh—” Virgil hesitated and squirmed towards the edge of the bed, ready to make a quick escape. 

“You don't have to tell me anything you don't want to,” Roman added. 

“I like him, a lot. And that's terrifying.” 

“It is. But it can be exhilarating if you give it a chance,” Roman agreed, “As long as you don't let that fear control you.”

Virgil visibly relaxed and shook his head. 

“So he can't read my mind, and he thinks I hate him. Fuck, I have to be the one to fix it.” 

“Should I pause the movie and we finish it next week?” Roman suggested, all too aware that this would eat away at Virgil for a while. 

“Yeah. I'll talk to him soon, after I—” his spine went rigid and his irises flashed violet, “—shit.” 

Roman watched him vanish in a puff of wispy black smoke. Someone was having a rather anxious time and Roman would not get in the way of Anxiety stepping in before it got bad. 

---

Remus kept his room clean and orderly because he couldn't do the same with his head. But as he lay on his bed, Remus couldn't stop the chaos from leaking out. 

The misty figures flitting in and out of sight were agony incarnate. Dozens of his own corpses littered the floor and reanimated themselves to play back their gruesome deaths over and over. And then causes were all the same, even if the methods weren't—different versions of Virgil, pissed off and sickeningly satisfied with the bloodshed. 

Remus curled into a fetal position and squeezed his eyes shut. He could still see everything that was happening. He couldn't escape. 

Why did Roman have to look at that memory? It was like pulling a cork on a sinking boat, and Remus was drowning. 

Virgil hated him. It was all his own fault! He had to live with that while his heart yearned for that edgy snack. Was he so vile and fucked up that the universe wanted him to suffer? Wasn't it enough that he lost his best friend? Why did his chaotic ass have to catch feelings for the one person who despised him? 

If Virgil knew, there was no doubt in Remus' mind, that he would torture Remus and kill him, without any of the fun stuff. 

Remus trembled as the visions and thoughts got louder, clearer. He was gasping for breath, praying for his heart to slow enough for him to sleep through these waking night terrors. 

“This doesn't look like the BDSM you're into.” 

Remus' eyes shot open. That voice couldn't be real but he knew it wasn't imaginary. 

Virgil, the real Virgil, was approaching him, walking through the mist and clearing it like some sort of fallen angel. 

Remus swore he hadn't been crying before Virgil arrived and yet his cheeks were wet. Did he accidentally summon him with his own anxiety? 

“Hey,” Virgil said and knelt by him, “You're okay, you're safe.” Remus sniffled as Virgil thumbed away his tears. 

“You don't have to stay,” he muttered and closed his eyes. Virgil could leave and bleach his mind to forget everything he saw. And he wouldn't have any excuse to enjoy Remus' suffering with that escape. 

“I want to,” Virgil said softly, “Let's get you calmed down, alright?” 

Remus dared look at him, expecting all the smugness in the world to be plastered on that face. He was surprised to see the apologetic half-smile and worried brow framing those tired, sad eyes. 

“Just breathe with me, follow my lead.* 

Remus followed Virgil's steady rhythm. In and out, like the tides. His visions faded, even if they didn't disappear. The screams and agonized wails quieted, though they weren't snuffed out. 

“That's it, you're doing good,” Virgil hummed and placed a hand on the duke’s side. 

“Why—Why are you being so nice to me?” Remus hiccuped. 

“Because you're having a panic attack,” Virgil said softly, “And I'm tired of running.” 

“What?” 

“I’m tired of running. And Roman told me something that made it easier to stop.”’

“What did he tell you? That I'm pathetic enough to beat down without poisoning you?” Remus sighed. He was too exhausted to bring back his bubbly attitude. He was doing his best to keep from getting gruesome, if only so he wouldn't fall back into panic. 

“No, he might be that mean to your face, but he's not that cruel,” Virgil sighed and gently rubbed Remus' side. 

“He told me you can't read minds.” 

“You thought I could read minds?” Remus gawked, “What gave you that idea?” 

Virgil took a deep breath and swallowed his fears. Remus deserved to know the truth, or at least part of it. 

“Do you remember a few years ago, when you jumped out and tried to scare me? I thought you got in my head and pulled out one of my darker thoughts,” Virgil admitted shyly, “I was surprised when you started laughing at the sight of your fileted body. I was scared that you could invade my mind.” 

Remus sat up and stared at Virgil. 

“You don't hate me?” he gawked. 

Virgil shook his head and sat next to him. Remus' heart thundered in his chest. Virgil never got this close before, and Remus couldn't be sure if this reaction was based off his feelings or the simple fact that Virgil was anxiety. 

“Believe it or not, I can't hate you. You're the only person I know who isn't scared of my thoughts. You might be annoying sometimes and I get frustrated but I don't hate you.” 

“Does that mean you like me?” Remus asked and leaned on his shoulder. 

“It doesn't mean that, but I like you,” Virgil admitted and wrapped an arm around him, “You’re exhausted.” 

“Mhm,” Remus nodded and closed his eyes, “Panicking makes me tired. How do you do it?” 

“I’m always tired,” he shrugged, “If you need to sleep I won't stop you.” 

“Can you stay with me? If I have a really bad dream I might drag you back anyway,” Remus muttered, already fading. 

Virgil smiled to himself and coaxed Remus to lie down again. He relaxed beside the tired menace and ran a hand through his skunky hair. 

“I'll be right here, Reek.” 

Remus giggled and hugged him, nuzzling his chest. This imp knew just how to keep him on edge! But this time, Virgil didn't mind. 

“I’m snuggling a Scare Bear!” he cooed, half aware of what he was saying, “You’re warm and comfy when you're not trying to kill me for crushing.” 

Virgil knew his eye shadow was sparkling purple even if he couldn't see it. Remus certainly couldn't, not when he was drifting off so peacefully. 

Virgil was almost sad Remus couldn't read his mind, at least in that moment. He had so many things jumbled in his head that he couldn't put into words. He was too elated to think, too overwhelmed to leave and scream into a pillow like some lovesick teenager. 

So instead, Virgil pressed his lips to Remus' forehead and pulled him closer. He could tell Remus the whole truth when they woke up.

.

.

Not long after the pair fell asleep in each other's arms, Roman decided to check in on his brother. 

He rose up and instantly gagged at the horrible flavor assaulting him. Cocktail sauce and Monster. The poor prince got one look at the sleeping gremlins and sank out. 

There wasn't enough mouthwash in the world to cleanse his pallet!

[an-organized-confusion]

Fanders and whatnot?

What's one/some of your favorite hyper-specific, standardized Ao3 tags for SaSi?

Mine are probably:

Or:

[naminethewriter]

What Dreams Are For - Masterpost

It is time for my biggest story yet, written for @sandersidesbigbang! Be prepared for a lot of confusion, angst and confrontations! Everyone has demons to face this time around and it's not going to be easy... I hope you follow along and enjoy what I cooked up this time 🤭

Summary: Dreams are weird. Especially when you’re metaphysical. There is a distinction between your own dreams and that of your whole. Even though Roman doesn't know at first that he's trapped in a dream, he does know that something is wrong upon waking in an unfamiliar room. He thinks he's in the Imagination but can't say for sure. Just what has he gotten caught up in?

Cast as the evil Prince and forced to act out the twisted storyline of Thomas’ dream, Roman, with help from Patton and Virgil, needs to figure out what is happening while constricted by what his hateful character would do and say which is not at all pleasant.

We dream for a reason. And as much as Roman likes to be the center of attention, this dream isn’t about him. Someone else is crying out for help.

Tags: platonic Dlampr, Intrulogical, Angst With a Happy Ending, Mystery Elements, Partial Mind Control, Sides are forced to stay in character which leads to some of them acting unsympathetically, mainly Patton and Roman

Story here on Ao3!

Chapter One: Wrong

Chapter Two: Rumors

Chapter Three: Unexpected Confrontation

Chapter Four: The Other Side

Chapter Five: Escalation

Chapter Six: Back To Normal?

This Story is currently on hiatus! I will return once more chapter have been written and are ready for posting.

Chapter Seven

Chapter Eight

Chapter Nine

Chapter Ten

Chapter Eleven

Chapter Twelve

Chapter Thirteen

Chapter Fourteen

Chapter Fifteen

Chapter Sixteen

Chapter Seventeen

Epilogue

Many thanks to my Betas @edupunkn00b and @starlocked01! You are wonderful 💙💚

Just as great are @failingatfailing and @wolfy-do-art-stuff who did a collaboration piece for this story that you can find here! It turned out superb, thank you so much 💖 💙 💜

[ndb-123]

New Sanders Sides Headcanon

You know how sometimes you have an intrusive thought that's actually good? It's not harmful or impulsive. It's like when you're talking and something spills out that you didn't know you were going to say until you've already said it?

What if there's one of those moments in an episode? Remus is rambling about a lot of unsavory things. He's trying to contribute to the discussion but all his ideas are, well, Remus-y.

That is until he gives a suggestion that's actually plausible and helpful...

And it comes out in Roman's voice.

Everyone just freezes and looks from Remus to Roman, trying to process what happened.

And Roman starts freaking out.

[soysaucevictim]

Putting all of Begotten!Janus's Brood together here.

I'm still working on the rough draft, but Logan, Virgil, and Patton will be making their debut in Book 2.

(Book 1 focused more on the twins, their parents, and Janus. Gonna draw up the Espinozas next here in a hot minute... Book 2 is still going to be from the Espinozas' POV.)

Individual posts:

Janus

Logan

Virgil

Patton

[pencilpat]

Like shade and light and wrong and right...

[lio-the-chaotic-nonbeanie-weenie]

Royal Promise

Summary: Or five times the twins made royal promises to each other and the one time they finally learned of its origin.

Pairings: None, BROTHERLY CREATIVITWINS

Warnings: Nightmares, slight mention of thunderstorms, angst, unintentionally u!patton and u!logan

(A/N: Fun fact the word count for this fic is 10, 792 words! My biggest word count yet!)

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

            For as long as they could remember, the royal promise was a special and almost sacred pact that the twins made. It was their thing that no one else had or did. They made it clear that it was special, something meant for royals or very big important promises that can’t be broken. It was a sealed deal and breaking a royal promise comes with heavy risks. The one who made the royal promise would deal physical pain to the one given the promise. So, the twins would take the royal promise very seriously. They never used it for anything small. Strangely enough, no one, not even Logan or the twins themselves knew of its origin. It’s just been their thing that they’ve had since the aftermath of the split.

1.

    ��       Despite Remus being loud and rambunctious, he never really liked loud noises that weren’t his own. He didn’t like yelling either if wasn’t the fun kind. He hated it when the other sides started arguing and yelling. He didn’t like it when Virgil screeched or when Patton cried out in anger. He didn’t like it when Logan angrily told him off. He didn’t look like it, but Remus also hated the loud noises that thunderstorms made. Sure, he could play in the storm all he wanted but once he heard that loud bang of thunder, he’d run back in to either hide somewhere or go cling to his brother.

            This is why Remus has a hate-love relationship with storms. They’re fun to play in but they’re loud and noisy and they make him think too many bad thoughts. What if lightning hits their home and catches it on fire? What if it hits Roman and he catches on fire? What if it hits Janus or Virgil? What if the thunder banged so loud his ears exploded and he can’t hear anymore? Janus had already told him those things can’t happen, but Remus’ mind isn’t exactly good at staying quiet for even five seconds.

            That’s why Remus finds himself restless one night as a storm rolls in. According to Logan, this storm was going to be a big one. That meant lots of thunder and lightning. While everyone else seemed to be getting cozy for the evening, Remus was coloring on the floor while his twin brother seemed preoccupied with something else that he can’t see. Meanwhile, Janus is sat on the couch and reading his book. The heavy rain is already starting to pour outside the window.

            Remus looks up from his coloring book and gazes at the window, the storm whirling and swirling with rain outside. He hopes it’s just rain and nothing more. He then glances at Roman and hums curiously. His brother had come running in with a bunch of stuff and said he was going to make something. When Remus asked to help or watch, Roman said no and that this was very important that he had to do it alone. Remus was a little hurt, but he knows Roman cares about his creations, so he let him be. He’ll probably show him later. He then huffs and sighs.

“Are you done yet, RoRo?” Remus whines, flopping onto his back.

Roman chuckles.

“Not yet, Ree.” he answers, turning to flash a quick smile at his twin.

“But you’ve been working on that—”

Lightning then flashes brightly and-

BANG!

The thunder followed, loud and almost monstrous.

Remus jolts and squeaks before running off to his and Roman’s bedroom, squirming under the bed.

Meanwhile Janus sighs and closes his book.

“Oh, Remus…”

He then climbs off the couch.

“Don’t wander off, Roman.”

“I won’t.” Roman replies without looking up.

Janus nods, curious as to what Roman is up to. He wouldn’t tell him either. For now, he makes his way to the twins’ bedroom. He opens the door and looks around the messy room they share.

There’s stuffed toys and pillows strewn on the floor by the bed. Crayons and papers filled with drawings are scattered on the desk by the window. A paper crown sits on the red chair and a big book sits on the green chair.

“Remus?” Janus calls. “Where are you, little squid?”

Rumbling thunder replies instead and Janus inches towards the bed, pausing when he hears it creak and something thump under it.

“Remus, are you under there?”

A soft whimper.

“No…”

There he is…oh dear, he sounds scared.

Janus goes over to the other side of the bed and smiles when he sees Remus’ butt sticking out from under the bed along with his wiggling feet. He sighs and crouches down.

“Boo.”

“Eep!” *thunk* “Ow!”

Janus laughs a little.

“You really are so good at hide and seek.” he teases.

Remus squirms, still trying to hide under the bed. His chubby tummy stops him going in any further though.

“I am hidden! The thunder can’t get me here if I hide!” he huffs before squeaking as the thunder rumbles again.

“Remus…you know thunder can’t hurt you indoors. You don’t have to hide.” Janus replies, tugging on his leg.

“No!” Remus squeals, yanking his leg away from Janus. “I’m hiding here until the thunder goes away!”

Janus sighs. He loves the twins, but damn are they stubborn.

“Remus…”

Then Roman comes running in.

“Janus, did you find Remus yet?” he asks, hands hidden behind his back.

Janus nods and tips his head.

“He seems determined to hide under the bed until the storm passes.” he answers, moving aside.

Roman giggles and goes around the bed, plopping on the floor.

“I thought you loved storms, Ree.” he teases, poking his twin’s leg.

“Not when they’re stupid loud.” Remus huffs.

Roman smiles sadly. He knows his twin hates loud sounds that aren’t his. There are even days when he gets overstimulated from outside noise. He then pulls out what he’d been working on behind his back.

“I have something for you. You’ll have to come out from there if you want to see it.” he says a moment later.

“For me?”

“For you.”

It takes a moment, but Remus manages to squirm out from under the bed, shaking the dust out of his messy hair. He then sits up and blinks. In front of him on Roman’s lap is a cuddle-sized, green octopus with black button eyes and a matching mustache. There are patches of red here and there on its head.

Roman grins.

“I know you don’t like storms and you don’t have a little friend with you like Mrs. Fluffybottom. So, I made one for you! Do you like him?” he hands the octopus to Remus.

Remus takes it with wide, red sparkling eyes.

“He’s…He’s so ugly!” he giggles, hugging the plushie close. “I love him!”

“Perfect! He’ll keep you safe and sound from the storm.” Roman grins.

Remus blinks at that and gazes at his new octopus friend.

“Really?”

Roman hums and nods.

“Yeah! He’s got the strength of a mighty kraken and he’s not afraid of anything!” he grins. “I promise, he’ll always protect you!”

“I dunno, RoRo…sounds like a big promise.”

Roman thinks then gasps as if he remembered something and makes a crown shape with his hands, placing it over his head.

“I royal promise then! That way, he’ll never lose strength!” he grins wider, proudly even.

“Royal promise?” Remus tilts his head.

Roman nods.

“Yeah! It’s a strong promise because I made it with my prince powers!”

As Janus hears that, he jolts for a moment. Those words…royal promise…they sound so familiar and distant at the same time. A tiny part of him curses the twins for reminding him of the past so much. He wonders how Roman even remembered that. Maybe…no. It couldn’t be. That person is long gone. Still, Janus aches. He can still see him in the twins though. He says nothing and smiles fondly at them instead.

Meanwhile, Remus finally grins as he forgets the storm.

“Okay, I believe you, RoRo.”

“Yay! What are you gonna name him, by the way?”

Remus thinks then grins wider.

“Squishyboo!”

2.

            When it came to being Creativity, the one thing the twins hated was how creative their minds got at night. Sure, they could dream of anything each night but sometimes their minds like to take the shadows from their thoughts and morph them into nightmares. Nightmares that seemed far too sick and twisted for even Remus’ already dark self. Nightmares that felt like a curse, repeating, and replaying all too vividly. Not even Roman’s creative light could save them both.

            Remus’ nightmares often melded with his intrusive thoughts. The shadows would steal the darkest thoughts they could find and create an even darker dream. Dreams of desolate worlds. Dreams of war-torn kingdoms and abandoned castles. Dreams of silent rooms with colorless walls. Dreams of a lost friend and a broken family. Dreams of fallen princes and lost kings. Dreams of pain and screaming. It always led to Remus waking up with a terrified scream.

            Roman’s nightmares liked to play tricks on him. Every dream would start nice and warm…but then it would slowly turn darker and darker until it became a nightmare. A warm, grassy field would slowly turn cold as the green melted away into brown. A bright castle with flickering, welcoming candles would slowly put its lights out one by one until darkness took over the whole palace. A Duke dancing about on stage would slowly grow pale until he collapsed, and the stage fell. A powerful king would slowly grow weaker and weaker until he falls apart, screaming in agony as he tears himself in half. It always left Roman waking up with a horrified sob.

            Tonight isn’t any different. The twins had been put to bed by Janus as usual and were sleeping, sprawled out against each other. Due to the intensity of some of their nightmares and never wanting to be separate, they insisted on sharing a room. Janus let them, knowing how much they needed each other. Remus could hold Roman down when he’d started flailing and Roman could calm Remus down if a nightmare left him a bit lost. As Roman sleeps, his creative mind starts playing with his shadows.

            Roman finds himself standing in a living room he doesn’t recognize. The living room he knows has dark grey walls with pictures of him and his brother and Janus on them. The floor he knows is a darker grey and has a soft, mustard yellow round rug in front of the tv. This living room is…bright and warm. The wallpaper is a light shade of beige, and the floor is an off-white with no rug.

            He looks around and nearly jumps, seeing two figures staring back at him. He looks to his side and Remus is there, holding his hand. He seems upset. Roman doesn’t know and looks back at the figures. They seem to be talking warmly. Roman tries to step forward but finds he can’t move his legs. Oh. He swallows and looks around. He sees Janus standing by on Remus’ other side, head bowed.

“Janus?” Roman calls.

Janus looks up and Roman sees a sad, almost regretful look in his eyes.

“I’m so sorry…”

“What do you mean?”

Before Janus can say anything more, the two figures turn and step towards Roman. In the light of the living room, Patton stands with an unsettling grin, his eyes far too wide with excitement. Logan stands beside him with a blank look, dull eyes gazing at nothing. It makes Roman’s skin crawl.

“Okay, kiddos! Say your last goodbyes! We’ve decided to take Roman and keep him here!” Patton exclaims, tilting his head a little too much.

Roman jolts as the lights flicker.

“B-But what about Remus?” he asks.

Patton laughs and it’s almost ear piercing.

“Oh, don’t be silly, kiddo! Remus has been naughty. He can’t stay here. You don’t need him.”

“H-He’s my brother…what do you mean he can’t stay, and I don’t need him?” Roman whimpers.

Logan leans down and stares at Roman.

“Your brother is not fit to be with us. He is not needed here. Until we can…dispose of him, he will remain with Janus. We will dispose of him once you have been moved here, Roman.”

Roman’s eyes widened.

“A-Are…Are you splitting us…again?” he whispers.

Patton giggles and it seems even louder, his grin twitching.

“Just to be safe, kiddo!”

The room grows darker and Roman tries to move again but he still can’t. He turns towards Remus, reaching out for him.

“Remus!”

Remus tries to reach back only for Janus to grab him.

“Forgive me.” Janus whispers

And Remus goes limp in his arms.

Roman gasps in horror, pain spreading through him.

“No! Give my brother back! Give him back!”

Patton laughs again. He laughs and laughs and laughs. The sound rings and echoes.

“Now, now. Be a good prince, Roman.”

Roman desperately tries again and again to move, arms flailing out as he tries to reach out for Remus.

Janus just turns away with Remus in his arms before fading.

Patton’s laughs grow even louder and it’s making Roman’s ears start to ache. Logan stares at him again, a hand on Roman’s shoulder.

“He’s gone now, Roman.”

“No…No! Bring him back! I need him! I need—”

Roman gasps.

“-REMUS!”

Roman tries to move again but finds that even now he still can’t and flails around, a heavy weight on top of him.

“Let me go! I need to find him! I need Remus!” he whimpers.

“Easy, Ro! It’s me! It’s Remus!”

Roman blinks and his flailing slow to a stop as he squints in the dark. He sees a green blob and after another blink, he recognizes it as-

“Ree?”

Remus gets off of Roman and smiles softly.

“I’m right here, RoRo. I’m not going anywhere.” he replies.

Roman sits up and stares at Remus in the darkness of their shared room, the only source of light coming from their glow-in-the-dark star stickers on the ceiling. Blood red eyes stare back at him and Roman can’t help but launch himself into his twin’s arms.

“I don’t want you to go!” Roman wails.

Remus hugs back, patting his twin as he does.

“I’m not leaving, RoRo. I’m right here.”

Roman sniffs and hiccups at that, pulling away to gaze at his twin. He’s still there. He’s still awake. He’s not limp like in his dream or—

“RoRo?”

Roman hiccups again.

“T-They tried to split us. Again. Morality and Logic. I don’t want you to leave. I don’t want to lose you, Ree.” he whispers. “I don’t care if they think you’re bad. You’re my brother and I need you.”

Remus feels his heart ache. Is that what those light sides really think of him? Are they so cruel that they can’t let him be with Roman? He huffs and pouts, cupping Roman’s face and squishing it.

“Who cares what they think? They can’t keep us apart no matter what. Janus won’t let that happen either.”

“B-But my dream—”

“Is just a dream, dummy. No one will take me, and no one will keep us apart.”

Roman blinks and sniffs.

“P-Promise?”

Remus grins, letting go of Roman to form a crown above his head with his hands.

“I even royal promise, Ro.”

Remus then pulls his brother into another hug, glaring ahead. He’ll make sure no one ever splits them again. Especially not those two. He’ll shed blood if he has to.

Meanwhile, Roman’s sniffles slowly quiet down.

“Thank you, Ree.”

And Roman slips into a peaceful slumber this time, clinging onto Remus’ sleep shirt.

3.

            They were split anyway. It wasn’t their choice, however. Morality decided that Roman needed to be with them in order for things to be more…balanced. That day, the Mindpalace split as well with the Light sides above and the Dark Sides being shoved down a little closer to the subconscious. Janus didn’t like the idea but there wasn’t anything else he could do. He tried to fight for the twins, but Morality insisted on this and of course, who did Thomas listen to more? Morality always did have more influence over everything.

            Roman barely remembers the day of the Second Split. With time passing on, it’s becoming more and more of a blurry memory. He doesn’t know why and not even Logic will tell him. Still, Roman knows he feels incomplete. He doesn’t like being apart from Remus, but Morality is right, isn’t he? He’s a light side now and he must be good. And yet…Roman missed Remus.

            Roman missed his twin. He missed giggling and playing with him. He missed having adventures with him and fighting off nightmares. It took so much time to get used to sleeping alone. He’d spend nights crying silently after every nightmare. He missed having someone to hold him down when he’d flail. Sure, Patton was…kind and he made warm milk, but he wasn’t Remus. Remus would always assure him that his dreams are just dreams. He’d tell him silly stories until he laughed his tears away. He’d hold him till he fell asleep.

            So, Roman finds himself lying awake again as he wracks his brain. It’s been a year since the Second Split, and he can’t remember much of it. He’s still trying to make sense of it but refuses to believe that Remus and Janus were bad. Sighing, Roman sits up and glances at the door.

He wonders…

Before he can stop himself, Roman shrugs his blanket off and stands up from his bed.

“Need Remus…” he mumbles to himself.

Roman glances at his bedroom door before going over to the other side of his room. He has yet to decide where to put the door to his Imagination, so he summoned a portal instead. As long as he had no door, Patton couldn’t follow him in. This felt all wrong but Roman finds himself not caring all too much.

Roman then steps through and closes the portal behind him. The Imagination greets him with a cool, evening breeze. It makes Roman feel a little more at ease. He wishes he could sleep here but with his nightmares still intense, he didn’t want to risk them affecting his beloved world. Roman sighs and begins walking through the grassy field. Usually, he starts at the forest, but he didn’t feel like it tonight.

It feels calm and peaceful, walking through the sea of dark green. Fireflies even join in on his trek, lighting his way. Roman finds himself humming softly, tilting his head up to admire the twinkling stars he placed in the sky. Off in the distant sky, two bright stars glow side by side. One green and one red. Between them is one big golden star. Roman doesn’t recall making those but he adores them anyway.

Soon, Roman finds himself wandering further and further. Past the sleeping village and the castle. Over the rocky mountains behind the kingdom and across the river below them.

At the end, Roman finds himself walking towards the ravine that separated his side and Remus’. He remembers hearing the Mindpalace rumble on the day he and Remus were separated. When he returned to the Imagination, even this world had split in two. The twins had formed a bridge with a gazebo in the center where they could meet every day. The bridge was white on Roman’s side and black on Remus’. No one knew about this but Janus who kept quiet for their sake.

Roman walks towards the bridge and makes his way over, sighing as his hand finds the barrier that kept them apart. Neither twin could go over to each other, and it seemed Morality made sure of it. Roman sighs then…he hears something rustle on the other side. Had he been caught or—

“RoRo!”

From behind a bush and holding a baseball bat, Remus runs out and meets his twin at the barrier. He couldn’t sleep either and snuck out.

Roman gasps and grins, his hands meeting Remus’ as they pressed against the barrier.

“Ree! I missed you so much!”

“I missed you too, dummy.” Remus grins back before sitting in front of Roman. “So, how is it over there in the Light Side?”

Roman sighs and sits too.

“It doesn’t feel like home. There are too many rules and too much work. Morality and Logic are no fun either.” he huffs.

Remus tilts his head. Morality and Logic? Something didn’t seem right about this and his brother, but he decides not to question that for now.

“That’s sucky.” he says instead. “What kind of work are you doing? Do you still get to create stuff?”

Roman nods but then…he sighs again. Ever since he moved to the Light Sides against his will, he’d been losing more and more of his creative freedom. He’d been given rules to follow, filters to watch out for, and an unending mountain of drafts that he had to revise because the original just wasn’t good enough anymore.

“RoRo?”

Roman pulls away from his thoughts and shakes his head.

“Logic gave me a bunch of dumb rules to follow.” he huffs. “He says I have to get it approved by him and it has to be appropriate. So, I followed all the rules and he’s still being a butthead about it. I just can’t please him.”

Remus frowns and so badly wants to hold his brother. Or beat up Logan for making his brother sad. If he could, he’d do both now. For now, he places a hand on the barrier.

“Who cares what that boring towel thinks? He wishes he could create as good as you, Ro!” he exclaims. “Besides, I bet your stuff is still super cool and his eyeballs are just too broken to see it! He’s dumb!”

Roman snorts and giggles.

“Ree! He can’t be dumb, he’s logic!” he squeals.

Remus smiles. His brother looks so exhausted but at least he’s happy for now.

“Yeah, but he’s not creativity! He’s not the boss of what you create and how!” he giggles. “What about Morality?”

“He’s…okay. But not like Janus.” Roman replies once he’s calmed down. “He won’t let me have extra snacks and he keeps telling me everything I do isn’t princely like.”

Oh no.

Remus frowns and tilts his head.

“What do you mean?”

Roman pouts again and Remus hates what those jerks are doing to his brother.

“He has even more rules. It’s not princely like to be late to dinner or it’s not princely like to make inappropriate jokes. I didn’t even make a joke like that! It was just a fart joke!” he huffs.

“Then they’re both dumb and they don’t get us.” Remus also huffs. “If they want to be goody, goody babies then let them. You don’t have to let them boss you around.”

Roman sighs and leans against the barrier. If he leans hard enough, he could feel Remus’ hands.

“I guess…I don’t like it here, Ree. I don’t wanna be perfect. I just wanna be with you and Janus where everything made sense.” he mumbles.

Remus smiles sadly, wishing he could pet his brother’s hair. He knows Roman likes it when he does that. It’s very calming to both, surprisingly. He wishes his brother was back here too. Ever since his brother was taken, Janus has been sad and drinking a lot. Like a lot more than usual. Their space had grown quiet as well and nothing felt the same without his twin.

            The dark creativity then gazed at his twin. Roman looked so tired. So exhausted. Even his eyes looked…less green than it used to be. It made Remus feel angry at the so-called light sides. Who were they to call themselves high and mighty while hurting someone they wanted to be as one of them? Remus feels his thoughts whispering to go up there and deal with them, but he knows Roman wouldn’t want that and he’s needed here more. So, he tells them unkindly to shut up and decides he’ll figure out a way to get his brother back. Even if it means kidnapping him.

“What?! Remus, you can’t kidnap me! Morality’s going to be mad, and he’ll never let me see you!” Roman exclaims, jolting his twin out of his thoughts.

Remus blinks.

“Huh?”

“You muttered that out loud.” Roman frowns. “Don’t kidnap me or do anything else, Ree. I don’t want them to separate us even more than we are now.”

Remus sighs.

“But…”

Roman places a hand on the barrier, giving Remus a pleading gaze.

“Please, Ree…I need you…”

Remus’ shoulders droop. His brother was right.

“Fine…” he sighs. “I just hate that we’re split like this. I miss you, Ro…”

Roman smiles softly.

“I miss you too, Ree. I promise I’ll find a way to bring us back.” he whispers.

Remus returns the soft smile.

“Royal promise?”

“I, Prince Roman, Royal promise.”

And Remus smiles more as Roman forms a crown above his head with his hand. As the twins talk the night away, the barrier weakens, and the ravine silently closes in a little.

4.

            One day the barrier finally broke, and the twins could go to each other. The ravine stayed by their choice to keep their sides of the Imagination safe, but the bridge remained, its foundation stronger than ever. The twins also decided to keep this a secret, sneaking into their domains in the evening to meet at the bridge. They’d play in the evening then separated just before the sun came up.

            Of course, as time passed, there were ups and downs. Fights and arguments. That didn’t break their bond even if they’d screamed at each other about hatred and despise. They would feel guilty at the end of the day anyways and would come running to each other to apologize.

            They went through many more things. From Virgil changing sides suddenly to Roman being hurt by Janus and Remus introducing himself to the Light Sides officially. Of course, he and Roman had to put on an act to keep their secret, well, a secret. Janus and Virgil knew though.         

            Roman never really interacted with Virgil during his time with Remus and Janus. He saw him once in the kitchen and freaked out, running off. He still feels bad and wonders if that’s why Virgil was so snarky when they finally met.

            When Remus had finally made himself known and went with the act that he and Roman rehearsed, he felt a little bad about whacking Roman in the head. As soon as the episode was done, they met in the Imagination and Roman let Remus triple check to make sure his brain was still there.

            When Janus had gone too far with Roman, Roman had angrily burst into the Imagination and went on a rampage. Remus followed and calmed him down, helping him out of his spiral before they went to see Janus. One deep conversation later and things were on the mend. Or as mended as it could be.

            Due to Roman’s time in the Light Side, he’d been getting worse and worse. He’d be far too busy these days and even much more exhausted. His costume had been growing baggier and baggier. His smile had become strained, almost fake. Tired. Worst of all, Roman grew quiet and serious. Remus didn’t like it one bit. They had changed his brother.

            So, one day, Remus set out to the Imagination to go see his brother again. He had a bad feeling about him at the moment. Especially since he could feel some sort of pain twisting in his gut. It’s a blessing and a curse but ever since The Split, the twins had been able to feel each other’s pain no matter how big or small. Janus called it a twin bond or something. Remus hates how it makes him feel this constant dull throbbing from his brother. Roman hates how he feels nothing from Remus, envying how he didn’t have rules to follow or roles to play.

            Remus keeps trekking on through the grass field, using his twin’s shortcut. It’s the dead of night both here and in the Mindscape so he’s not too worried about being caught. The Intrusive side sighs and gazes ahead, seeing the tiny lights of Roman’s little village off to the side, his bright and tall castle stands just above them. Actually, the castle seemed a little dimmer these days and it made Remus frown.

            Sure, Remus could have gone through his own side but ever since he made himself known to the others, he stopped giving a fuck about the rule of where he was allowed to go. He’s even made it clear that he could go where he damn well pleases. Especially since he’s had enough of them splitting him and Roman. This led to Remus finally barging into Roman’s room to check on him, only to find his door to the Imagination left open. So, Remus followed and here he was.

            Remus then continues walking through the village, feeling a bit uneasy from the silence. Sure, it may be evening, and the people are asleep in their homes but not even the cicadas and the crickets were singing their songs. It made the whole place feel…dead. The Imagination has always been in tune with the twins’ emotions and lately Roman hasn’t been feeling his best. It seems the Imagination knew that. Even the little patches of grass and weeds drooped downwards into the dirt as if they hung in their heads in sorrow.

Remus shakes his head.

“Oh, Roman…”

            The Duke continues on, heading up the path and past the homes of the nobles. Through one of the windows, Remus could see a family gathered together at the table for dinner. At least they were happy. It made Remus want to gag as he tears his gaze away, hurrying towards the golden gates. The guards there merely turned before looking away. It seems they were also worried for their prince.

“Yeah…I know how you guys feel.” Remus mutters as he walks through. “I…I’ll talk to him.”

            The guards nod in return and Remus continues on. The Intrusive side then walks up the path and through the gate, making his way through the courtyard. There’s no sign of anyone. Not even a single noble or a maid around the fountains. It’s unusually quiet and it surprisingly disturbs Remus. Sighing, Remus continues on his way and enters the main doors. Somehow, it’s even quieter inside. There’s usually so much going on that Remus refuses to take the front entrance and prefers to bust through the window. Today, however, no one is around here either. At least, Remus thinks so.

            Remus wanders through the foyer and towards the throne, pausing when he finds the doors left ajar. Usually, they’re left wide open for Roman’s people to come see him when he’s at his throne. It makes the Duke hum in worry as he enters cautiously, wondering what his little brother had done to them…and to himself. Breathing out and ignoring the intrusive voices in his head, Remus enters the throne room and finds-

“Mama?”

“Remus. I’m glad you’re here, dear.”

            Maleficent. The Dragon Witch and Roman’s so-called enemy. Every now and then she’d fly over the village, pretending to attack and Roman would save the day. Maleficent, or Mal for short, was always happy to play her role to see Roman happy. Roman worried about hurting her too much but was always assured that she could take his hits. Mal would continue to do fake battles and when she wasn’t, she lived in her tower up in the far mountains of Roman’s realms.

 Mal also acted like a mother figure for the twins in return for them saving her life after the split. She was going to vanish along with The King who had named her after the character from Sleeping Beauty, but the twins chose to save her. In return, Mal became their guardian and caretaker. Their mother. She would be the one watching over them for her fallen king, making sure they were safe whenever they visited the realm.

Remus ambles over and greets her.

“You never show up in the throne room, mama. What are you doing here?” he asks.

“Something didn’t feel right so I came over to check on Roman. I must have scared the people away when I arrived.” Mal explains. “I tried to talk to your brother, but he won’t even answer to me.”

Remus sighs, a hand on his chest.

“I can feel his pain. It…It hurts so much…” he mutters.

Mal sighs.

“I know, little one. His realm…it’s just as sorrowful.” she shakes her head before gazing at one of the stained glass windows. “Roman told me he was going up to the tower. Hopefully he’s still there and he’ll talk to you.”

Remus nods, blinking away his tears before they could fall.

“I’ll take care of him, mama.” he promises.

Mal smiles softly.

“I know you will, my dear. And please, make sure you take care of yourself too. You look tired.”

Remus sighs but manages a small smile.

“I will.” he nods. “You should go before the people come back to capture you, mama.”

            Mal kisses Remus’ forehead before the mother figure turns and makes her leave. Remus watches her go before turning towards the throne, making his way over to it. It’s golden shine had dulled out and the soft, velvet fabric looks as if it had been picked at. Remus stares at it for a moment, wondering what Roman really felt like even as he sat upon his throne. Roman always boasted about being the best prince and it seemed no one knew or even cared to see how much work that took. It’s strange to see it completely empty. When Roman visits his realm, he always stops by the throne room whenever he can. When the prince wasn’t in, the nobles and castle staff would be roaming about as the guards stood by.

            Rubbing at his face, Remus leaves the throne room and climbs the stairs. He still doesn’t like the heavy silence following him down the corridor and up the next flight of stairs. Several more staircases later and Remus soon arrives at the door to the tower. Roman often hides away here to be alone or to talk to Remus. The tower had been given a spell to ensure that only Mal and the twins could enter whenever they liked. Remus feels lucky that he’s able to enter and lets himself in.

“Ro? Mama told me you were here. She said you were hiding up again.” Remus calls.

“Out here, Ree.” Roman calls back a moment later from the balcony.

            Remus breathes out a sigh of relief and heads over to where his twin is. He goes through the curtains and finds Roman leaning over the parapet of the tower. Roman looks exhausted, the bags under his eyes almost as dark as Virgil’s eyeshadow. Remus comes over, copying his twin and staring at him for a moment before deciding to talk.

“Um…hi, Ro…what are you doing up here?” Remus starts.

Roman doesn’t move, gazing at the hills far in the distance.

“If you think I’m going to jump. I’m not. I’m just…thinking. I guess.”

“Oh.” Remus blinks. “I wasn’t going to say anything about that. At least not now. I just wanted to talk.”

Roman manages an empty chuckle.

“Heh, funny. You usually prefer to swing first, talk later. Did you accidentally swing at yourself, Dukey?”

Remus shakes his head and sighs.

“No. I just really miss my brother. As annoying as he is, I like having him around as the dumb, sparkly, prince he is.”

“I…I don’t know. I don’t feel sparkly. Probably just dumb.”

Remus blinks then stands up straight and turns Roman to face him.

“Okay, Ro-Bro, look. You’re clearly not okay right now. Talk to me. Tell me what’s got your brain being a bitch. That’s what I’m here for, okay?”

Roman stares at Remus, a tear falling down his cheek.

“Ree…”

“Talk to me, RoRo. It’s okay.”

Another tear rolls down Roman’s cheek and-

“It hurts, Ree…”

Remus brings Roman to the stone bench behind him and sits them both down.

“What hurts, Ro?”

“Everything. No matter what I do, I can’t please them. I can’t make Patton happy. I can’t satisfy Logan’s demands. What good am I? What kind of Creativity am I?”

            Remus feels his heart throb in pain. Roman is hurting so, so much. It makes Remus wonder what those light-side idiots are doing to him. Sure, Remus has seen Roman hanging around them and being friendly with them but…in return they hurt Roman. Do they even realize what they’re doing to Roman? Probably not. It pisses Remus off, but he swallows his anger for another day. Instead, the Duke turns to Roman and wipes his tears.

“You know what? Fuck them. Fuck those light side bitches.”

Roman gasps.

“Ree!”

Remus grins.

“Who cares what they say about you or what they think? You are Prince Roman, and you don’t need their goddamn approval.” he ruffles Roman’s hair.

“B-But I- “

“But nothing! Well, except for my butt. Anyways, fuck them. If they don’t want to give a shit about you. You don’t have to give a shit about them.”

Roman manages a small smile.

“I guess…that’s true, Ree.” he then sighs, and that small smile disappears. “I’m just scared. What if they don’t want me anymore? What if they get rid of me or hate me?”

“Woah, there, Ro. Let’s get you off that spiral coaster, yeah? Even if that does happen, you’ve always got me. I’m not leaving you. No matter how big of a bitch you can get.”

Roman finally giggles a bit.

“Hey! You’re annoying too, dummy!”

“Yeah, but you’ll be stuck with me at least.” Remus grins.

Remus feels the weight on his chest start to lighten. Good.

“I think I’ll be okay with that. Promise you’ll be there to catch me?” Roman asks.

Remus hums then grins, forming a crown symbol above his head using his hands.

“I, Duke Remus, royal promise.”

“Remus…” Roman’s eyes widen then he lunges forward and hugs him. “Thank you…”

Remus smiles and hugs back.

“Of course, dumbass.”

The twins stay like that for a while before…

“So…would you mind if I just…talked to the others?”

“Ree, no!”

“Eh, worth a shot.”

5.

            Despite being all grown up now, Remus’ nightmares have not changed. It seems more like they’ve grown darker and more vivid. Sometimes it was hard to tell what wasn’t real and what was actually happening. It was easy to lose himself in the darkest visions of his sleeping mind. It was harder to find the way out with no Roman to save him. Sure, Janus was there, doing his best to keep him afloat but he could only keep the nightmares at bay for a little while. They’d come back every other night, darker than ever. It’s a miracle that Remus gets any sleep, really. Sometimes, the duke is often found sleeping in odd places, napping excessively in the afternoon when he isn’t causing chaos.

            Today isn’t any different. Remus had wanted to do some art to quiet his mind of the annoying loud voices he keeps hearing. He had just finished his third piece as he started growing sleepy. He then soon fell asleep at his table before he could sign his artwork, paintbrush rolling out of his hand as he snoozed away.

            When Remus blinks his eyes open, he finds himself standing in the Imagination. Yet, it’s not his own realm that he’s in. He looks around and finds that he’s in a village. A torn emblem of a red shield flutters beside an abandoned tavern. This is…Roman’s village? Remus shivers and looks towards the castle. A shadowy black haze surrounds it, looking more menacing than the blood red sky above it. Yet, that’s not the terrifying part. No, the true horror is that this is what became of Roman’s realm.

But…why?

            Remus shudders and carries on, searching for his twin. Maybe he just wanted to try something different? Yeah, that’s gotta be it. He walks through the silent village and up the path to the town square where the nobles’ house are. No one’s here either. Remus glances at an open window. He only sees an empty table. Where had everyone gone? Roman loved his people too much so there’s no way he’d gotten rid of them.

            Remus walks on and up the castle path and through rusted gates, passing wilted grass and dried fountains. The courtyard looked more like…a cemetery now. Funnily enough and ironically, Remus isn’t thrilled about this. Roman’s realm is supposed to be stupidly bright and annoyingly glittery like the prince himself. Remus just finds all of this to look completely wrong.

            Soon Remus enters the castles, the grand doors opening with a heavy groan. The foyer is empty and dim with the only lighting coming from the glass windows and the little torches on the wall. Remus steps in, shivering again as he’s greeted by cold air. Usually, Roman’s castle is warm and welcoming. This is just haunting. Maybe it’s a bit cliché to Remus but he reminds himself that this Roman’s place and it shouldn’t be this dark and cold.

“R-Ro?” Remus calls out.

The only reply is the echo of his own voice.

        ��   Remus pushes on, still calling for Roman. His voice echoes back and he worries more. What if Roman was gone too? What if something happened to him? What if he-Remus stops that thought and carries on. Roman has to be okay. He’s dumb but he’s brave. Yeah, Roman’s a big, brave Prince. Remus tells himself he’s probably just hanging out somewhere or up in the tower again. Maybe he’s in the throne room, doing his royal duties. That has to be it.

            So, the duke enters the throne room and looks towards the throne and-oh. There’s Roman sitting there and…not moving. Why isn’t he moving? Why isn’t he blinking? Remus slowly makes his way towards the throne, hoping his footsteps would alert his twin. Still…Roman doesn’t move. He remains frozen. His face does not change. His eyes do not twitch. Remus places a hand on his chest only to feel…nothing. No weight, no pain, no aches. There is nothing there.

“Roman? It’s me. It’s Ree.”

Roman says nothing.

            Remus steps forward, moving closer and closer to the throne. Under the light from the stained glass windows, he could see that the throne had rusted and its velvet fabric was now torn. Odd. He remembers the throne being shinier and cleaner than this. Had it been so long since the last time he visited Roman? Had he forgotten to see him? Remus knows he hadn’t. He visits Roman as much as he can, constantly bothering him even as he tries to get his work done. When did this happen then? Remus swallows and finds himself right at Roman’s throne.

“Hey, RoRo? Can you hear me? I’m right here. It’s Ree!” Remus calls.

Still no answer…

            Then the window on the left swings open with a gust of wind and the curtains fly off. Remus watches them flutter down to the floor in a heap and a little more light floods the room. It trails across the floor and lands perfectly on Roman’s face. Roman’s face had turned to stone. Horrified, Remus runs up to his brother and looks at his brother closer in the light. It wasn’t just his face. His whole body had turned to stone, face frozen with a broken expression. Remus had been too late.

“R-RoRo?”

Remus pats his face.

Nothing happens.

“RoRo, this isn’t a funny prank! Wake up, dumbass! Wake up!” Remus cries.

Still, nothing happens.

Remus shakes his head, smacking Roman over and over as he could chip away the stone to find him underneath.

“Wake up! Wake up! Wake up! Roman, please!”

Sure, Remus had imagined scenarios of hurting his brother, but he never wanted him gone.

“Come on, little brother! You can stop now! It’s not funny! Wake up!”

Remus slams his fists against the stone, not caring about the pain that follows after.

“Please, wake up!”

Tears fall from Remus’ face and land on Roman’s head as he screams-

“ROMAN!”

            Remus shoots up from where he’s sitting, his stool falling over as he stumbles backwards. Wide, red eyes dart around in search of his twin. He’s not here though and Remus wanders out of his art room, muttering his brother’s name. He has to be here somewhere. He has to be okay. Remus looks around some more, checking around the living room. No prince there. Remus makes his way towards the door to the corridor that leads to the light sides.

“Remus? Is that you? I heard you screaming. Is everything alright?”

Janus comes down from the other corridor that goes to the bedrooms, worry on his face when Remus doesn’t respond.

“Remus?”

Remus opens the door.

“Need to find him. Find Roman.”

Janus sighs. This wasn’t the first time this happened. He’s usually able to snap him out of it but Remus seems really lost this time.

“Remus, I’m sure Roman is okay. We saw him this morning.”

Remus shakes his head.

“Need to find Roman.”

Janus sighs once more, going over to Remus as he wonders what nightmare he had this time.

“Alright, we’ll go find Roman.”

            With that, Janus and Remus leave the Dark Side and make their way through the cold corridor that separates the two sides. Janus hates this place and how freezing it is, how it came to divide them. He wraps his cloak around himself and follows Remus through to the light side, feeling a bit relieved when they’re greeted by the warmth of the Light Side. Janus refuses to admit that he prefers it over the Dark Side’s coldness. The snake side then turns to Remus.

“Okay, Remus, shall we check your brother’s room?”

Remus walks on.

“Find Roman. Find him.” he repeats in a mutter.

Poor thing.

Remus ambles up the stairs, Janus making sure he doesn’t trip. The others are out so Janus isn’t too worried about running into them. They make their way past the room doors and find Roman’s, its star nameplate shining under the light. A big cursive ‘R’ is in the center of it. Of course. Without hesitation, Janus knocks for Remus and a moment later the door opens to reveal Roman with his hair a mess and a pencil tucked behind his ear.

“What is-Janus? What are you doing here?” Roman asks.

Janus steps aside and Remus blinks before he goes up to his twin, snapping out of his trance.

“R-Roman? Is this…are you real?” Remus whispers.

Roman, realizing his twin had another nightmare, nods and takes his twin’s hand. He places it on his chest so Remus can feel his heartbeat.

“I’m real, Ree. I’m okay. I’m right here.”

As soon as he feels the thumping of his brother’s heart, Remus tackles Roman into a tight hug.

“I thought…I thought you were gone!” Remus wails.

Roman squeezes his brother, squishing him in the hug as much as he can. It’s how his twin likes it.

“Shh, I’m here, Ree. Whatever you saw, it wasn’t real and I’m not going anywhere, okay?”

“B-But in my dream your kingdom was all dark and when I went to see you, you were turned to stone…You didn’t move or talk, and I thought...” Remus sniffs and cries again.

Roman pats his brother’s back, heart aching at the sight of his twin breaking down. He’s usually the more carefree one between them, not caring about anything. Seeing him now like this is just sad.

“Hey, your dream is just a dream, remember? What’s real is you and me and Janus and the whole Mindscape. I’m not going anywhere, and I mostly certainly am not turning to stone.” he soothes his twin.

Remus’ cries quiet down to sniffles.

“R-Royal promise? You won’t leave or do something that stupid? You’ll be here forever and ever?”

“Royal promise, brother.” Roman smiles softly, forming the crown above his head.

Remus hugs Roman again at that, rubbing his tears away.

“Thanks, Ro. You better not tell Virgil I was crying like a little bitch.” he sniffs one last time, letting go of his twin moments later.

Roman huffs a laugh.

“I won’t, Ree.”

As Remus lets himself be comforted by the assurance that Roman is right there, Janus smiles fondly off to the side and ignores the ache in his heart again.

+1

            For a long time now, Janus had watched the twins make Royal Promises to each other. These promises were very important to them both, so they were very careful as to when they made it. A Royal Promise carried a lot of weight and pain behind it after all. The pain came from the promise being broken. The twins never ever break a Royal Promise.

The only problem is that the twins don’t know why they started doing that. Roman just felt it was stronger than a regular promise, so he did it Remus, ever curious and always following his twin, copied Roman. It became their little ritual and it was very rare that they let any of the others try to do what they do. Besides, Roman made up a rule that you have to be royal to make one.

Sighing, Janus glances at the twins. They were currently play-wrestling in the field just down the hill from where the snake side was lounging under the King’s Tree. He smiles fondly as he hears them laugh and tumble around the tall grass. Despite the rough times, Janus is glad their bond has remained strong. No matter how many times the others had tried, they refused to let anyone separate them. Sometimes, he wonders if they’ll ever…Janus puts a stop to that thought. Even if the twins could, Janus wouldn’t force them to re-fuse. They seem happier this way.

“Having fun, boys?” Janus calls, chuckling as he sees them pop up together with grass in their hair and stains on their outfits.

“Yeah! We’re wrestling for who gets the leftover spaghetti in the fridge!” Remus answers back, jumping onto Roman’s back.

“You had it last week though!” Roman giggles.

“Yeah, but I want some and Virgey can make you more!”

The twins go back to wrestling for a second as Janus huffs a laugh.

“Okay, you two. Come sit down and take a break first. You’ve been wrestling all afternoon.” he calls, the leaves rustling above as if to call the twins over as well.

The twins giggle and race each other over, plopping under the cool shade of the branches. A nice breeze blows and starts to cool them down. It seems as if the Imagination always knew what they needed.

“I totally won the wrestling match.” Remus grins.

“Excuse me, I pinned you down more than you got me!” Roman puffs in pride.

“Nuh uh!”

Janus laughs again.

“How about you both win the wrestling match and I’ll convince Patton to let me make spaghetti for dinner tonight?” he offers, not wanting them to actually start a fight.

The twins gasp and nod eagerly.

“Yes!”

Janus smiles softly.

“Excellent.”

            Silence falls in as the three relax under the afternoon shade. It’s nice and peaceful and Janus would do anything to stay here forever. No problems. No pain. Just him and the happy twins he promised he’d protect. His promise…Janus remembers when he made the very first Royal Promise…to his King. He wonders if the King knows how hard he’d been fighting to keep that promise. How he failed and went through hell and back to make up for it. For the King. For the twins. For-

“Janus?”

Janus blinks out of his thoughts and looks over to see Roman sitting up, frowning at him in concern and Remus copying his twin.

“Are you okay, Janus?” Roman asks.

“You were really spacing out, snakey.” Remus adds.

Janus sighs and nods.

“I’m alright. I’m just…” he glances up at the tree. “I’m just thinking about an old friend…and promises.”

Roman tilts his head in confusion.

“Promises? Like Royal promises?”

Janus chuckles softly.

“Yes. How did you know?”

“I saw you looking upset while I was hugging Remus and making my Royal promise to him.” Roman replies, smiling bashfully. “Did…Did we do something wrong?”

Janus’ heart aches and he shakes his head.

“No, not at all. It just reminds me of my old friend. The King.” he answers, smiling softly as the tree rustles again.

“The King?” Remus chimes in, sitting up as well.

Janus nods, smile now fond.

“Yes…” he answers, gazing at the twins. Sometimes he sees his old friend in them. “I made the first Royal Promise to him.”

The twins’ eyes widen. All those years of not knowing where the Royal Promise came from…and Janus made the first one to the King. Curiosity grows and the twins move closer to Janus, wanting to know more of the King they once were.

“What was the promise?” Roman asks.

“It was a promise I didn’t think I’d ever have to make. Today, however, I don’t regret making it.” Janus answers. “It was just before the split…”

            This is it. King Romulus knew what was going to happen next. He didn’t think it would ever happen to him. He didn’t think Morality would actually go through with it. Yet, Thomas is changing and growing. His view on this world and what he feels is changing as well. Morality is afraid and Thomas seems to believe he knows best, so Romulus had no power here. What could he say to Thomas who seemed so afraid of who he was going to become?

            Romulus quickly makes his way down the palace corridor. He had called for his closest and most trusted friend to spend one last day with him. He wanted Janus to have one last good memory before they had to say goodbye. Smiling to himself, Romulus makes his way to the throne room and steps in. He finds Janus waiting by his throne.

“Janus, I’m glad you made it.”

Janus looks up from where he’s staring at the throne.

“Romulus. You called me, old friend?” the young side asks, coming over to him. “Has it happened? Are you…?”

Romulus chuckles and shakes his head.

“Not yet. We still have some time before I have to see Morality tomorrow.”

“I wish we had more time. I wish this didn’t have to happen.” Janus huffs. “I don’t want you to go.”

Romulus smiles sadly.

“Neither of us can do anything to stop Morality. We’ve tried. Thomas won’t listen to us. All we can do is accept and adapt to change.”

Janus huffs again, rolling his eyes.

“You’re much nicer than I am.”

Romulus chuckles, patting Janus’ head. Janus was always shorter than his friend. Oddly, he’ll miss the head pats.

“If I could keep myself glued together, I would. I would tape and super glue and suture me to myself if I could.”

“I wish you could. So, what did you want to do with your short time left?” Janus asks, heart aching at that question.

Romulus smiles, offering his hand.

“I want to spend time with you, old friend. One last time.”

Janus sighs then smiles, taking Romulus’ hand.

“Alright, my King.”

King Romulus laughs and tugs Janus along at that. He brings Janus to his garden first. It was one of their favorite spots in the castle to run away to when life was stressful or when Morality’s pressure was too much, and Logic was being harsh. Romulus knows that they mean well but wish they were just a bit more understanding. He knew they had problems of their own and seemed to prefer to repress them rather than bring it to the meeting table.

The garden ended up being Janus and Romulus’ private getaway from it all. It was peaceful and there were always birds singing up in the trees. The air smelled like roses and fresh strawberries. Romulus loved strawberries. There was also a hint of nightshade. Romulus did love to experiment with strange things from time to time. In the center is an open dome that doubled as an observatory and the sun streamed down perfectly on the viewing deck.

Janus and Romulus end up spending all morning picnicking on the deck and chatting. They talked about Romulus’ recent experiments, trying not to think about how that would be his last. They have tea and cake and candy snacks, Romulus telling stories about his last adventure and Thomas’ recent dream. It felt like a regular morning, but Janus couldn’t help but feel heavy as the seconds ticked away. He knew what was coming soon and couldn’t stop thinking about it. Romulus knew it too but chose to ignore it. He focused on making his last day with Janus the best day he could give him.

After a morning of garden strolling, chatting, and tea, Romulus took Janus out of the castle. Janus watched as Romulus strolled through his little kingdom, waving hello to his servants and maids. To his guards. To the nobles and the village people. Janus desperately wanted to tell them what was going to happen to their king, but they wouldn’t understand. It makes Janus wonder if the people were going to one day wonder where their king had gone. Or would the kingdom and its people just…

“Janus, come on!”

Janus hurries along.

“Coming, Romulus!”

            Janus follows Romulus through the village, watching him interact with the tavern owner. The owner nods and walks into his little tavern. Moments later, the man steps back out and hands Romulus a basket as he bows. Romulus thanks the tavern with a handful of gold before waving Janus over to follow. Janus follows along, wondering what’s in the basket. It smells wonderful and it takes Janus’ mind off of the heavy weight for a moment.

            Soon, they exit the village and take a long, winding road through the tall grass field. Janus remembers watching Romulus hunting for bugs and rabbits and frogs when they were much younger. He follows Romulus and wishes the sun wouldn’t go any lower. Not yet. They climb a big hill, and a golden apple tree waits at the top. Janus had helped Romulus grow it a long time ago, calling it their special hiding place that they could go to when they couldn’t hide in the garden. Romulus said he’d bring everyone here one day but…Janus knew it would never happen. Janus didn’t want to bring anyone else here. Not when they would be taking his friend away.

“Janus, are you going to just stand there or are you going to come join me?”

Janus blinks out of his thoughts and sees Romulus sitting on the wooden throne that he made for himself years ago. In front of him is a matching table with the basket on top and a matching chair. Smiling shyly, Janus sits on the other chair and watches as Romulus leans forward to open the basket. The Creative side takes out two wrapped meals and a small jug of grape juice. He then sets the table, putting out the meals and pouring the juice. Once it’s ready, Romulus nods at Janus.

“Go on, Janus. I asked for your favorite.” The king says.

They unwrap their food and Janus is surprised yet touched to see that Romulus brought him some deviled eggs. Silence falls in as they both eat their meals, the sun setting ever so slowly. It makes Janus wish he could freeze time just a little longer. Sometimes he wished he could even turn back time or convince Thomas that everything was alright and that there was nothing wrong with who he was. Yet, Janus knows it’ll never happen. It’s too late now.

Soon, the sun is even lower, and the sky is a mix of reds and oranges and pinks. Romulus and Janus have finished their meals. The table was cleaned up and vanished along with the chair. The wooden throne remained but the two chose to sit on the grass as they watched the sunset. Neither said anything but knew that as soon as the sun was gone, their time together would be ending soon. It brings back that heavy weight from earlier inside Janus’ heart and he glances at the King.

“I wish time wouldn’t move so fast.” Janus sighs.

Romulus chuckles, watching the sun dip lower.

“You’d think as someone in charge of this entire realm, I’d be able to do that. Believe me, I wish I could, Janus.” he answers, waving his hand.

Nothing happens much to both of their disappointment, and they sit in silence again before-

“Janus…may I ask you for one last favor?” Romulus asks a moment later, sitting up on his knees.

Janus turns, mirroring Romulus.

“What is it, my King?”

Romulus removes his crown, placing it in Janus’ hands.

“When I am split, and I am replaced…will you take care of whoever takes my place?” he asks.

Janus’ eyes widen as he gazes at the crown in his shaking hands then at Romulus who’s calmly smiling at him.

“W-What? You want me to…are you sure? Why?” he stammers.

“Because I trust you. Thomas may no longer see you as Self Preservation as much as he used to, but I still do. I need you to promise me you will guide them and protect them.”

“I don’t know if I can…”

Romulus smiles softly.

“You can. Why don’t we make it a Royal Promise?” he suggests.

“R-Royal Promise? What is that?” Janus asks.

Romulus takes the crown and holds it above the yellow side’s head.

“A strong promise that is guaranteed to be never broken. If it is, the one who made it will be in pain until they fix it. I know it sounds like it’s meant for royals so today, you’re an honorary royal, Janus.” he explains.

Janus sniffs, a tear rolling down over his scales.

“Y-You really trust me?”

“Of course I do, my dear friend.” Romulus nods.

Janus looks at his King, knowing he would never see him here again and nods. Whoever becomes the new Creativity, Janus will make sure they won’t be lost to Morality again. So, Janus holds the crown over his head and smiles tearfully at Romulus as the sun vanishes below the horizon.

“I, Janus Sanders, Royal Promise, my King.”

“And when you both manifested, I did my best to keep that promise. Sure, I had my failures, but I intended to keep it for as long as I can, wanting to make sure I didn’t lose you both either.” Janus finishes.

The twins are quiet before Remus tackles Janus into a hug. Roman follows a moment later. They’re both glad Janus took them in. Sure, Morality was…kind and doing his best to look after them but Janus just understood them better. Now, they knew why.

“Thank you, Janus. For that.” Remus whispers.

Roman sniffles and nods.

“Yes, thank you. For keeping us safe. For telling us this.”

The twins then pull away, Remus rubbing his face to get rid of the tears.

“Would it be okay if we kept making Royal Promises? We’ll only use it for important things.” Roman asks.

Janus nods, wiping Roman’s tears away.

“Of course, Roman. It was always yours and Remus’ to make whenever you need it.”

Before Roman can thank Janus, the tree rustles and an apple falls from the branches into Janus’ hands.

Janus chuckles, smiling up at the tree as the twins gaze in surprise.

“Thank you, old friend. I assure you, I’m still keeping my Royal Promise.”

            This time, as the sun sets, Janus sits with twins and smiles. As long as he was here, they wouldn’t be going anywhere. They would never be separate, and they would be safe under his guidance. Promise or not, Janus intends to make sure Creativity would stay strong. Even as two halves. It’s his royal promise to the King and the twins after all.

THE END

[prince-rowan-of-the-forest]

Dragon Heart

There are a few things that come with becoming a dark side, one of which takes Roman a little by surprise.

Fortunately, he has a fantastic boyfriend and a... maybe not quite as helpful brother to get him through it.

----

| Ao3 |

Warnings: Mild body horror, self doubt/self deprication, Remus being Remus, hurt/comfort.

Pairings: Romantic Roceit, familial Creativitwins

Word Count: 3993

Notes: This is a oneshot for my Darkside!Roman au, which you can find here with the tag #Darkside!Roman, if you so wish :)

Otherwise, happy reading!

----

"Help me!" Roman yelled as he rose up into the dark sides' mindscape, his burned pillow clutched tight in his hand.

"Woah Prissy! What happened to you! Finally embracing the arsonist lifestyle?" Remus called from across the room, accompanied with a giggle. Janus glanced up, noticing the pillow and making his way over. 

"What happened, Roman?" 

"I don't- I dont know I just- I was lying on my bed and then I sneezed and my pillow was on fire" Roman ranted, waving the pillow around as he spoke, "So I put it out obviously but I don't know what happened!" 

"Alright alright, calm down darling, absolutely everything is wrong," Janus soothed, taking the pillow from Roman's hands, "I don’t think I know what's happening,"

"What? What is it?" Roman asked, huffing only for a puff of smoke to come from his nose and startle him, Janus chuckled.

"Oh my goodness, you're adorable," Janus couldn't help but coo. Roman saw red.

"Don't call me ad-" Roman's voice cut off immediately and he let go of Janus' shirt, which he'd grabbed without even realising and stepped back, "I- I don't - I'm sorry I- I don't know what that was…" 

"It's not alright, sweetheart," Janus said with a small smile as he smoothed down his ruffled clothes, "Believe it or not, Remus and I both went through something similar, once,"

"Wha-" 

"It's growing pains! Ro-bro! You're really becoming one of us!* Remus cried, leaping over and punching Roman in the arm, for some reason Roman found himself having to control the instinct to attack his brother in a show of strength.

"What Remus means," Janus said, "Is that you're getting your creature trait," 

"My…' Roman paused for a moment, "What?" 

"Your beastie!" Remus giggled, sharp teeth on show, waving a summoned tentacle in the air, "I'm a kraken, if you didn't know," 

"Yeah, right, but-" 

"And, as I've so well hidden, I express snake like traits, though they are actually rather subtle compared to other dark sides," Janus said, "My 'beastie' as Remus put it, is a Naga," 

"But how does that relate to me?" Roman cried, clenching his fists, he was glad Janus had taken the pillow or he probably would have ripped it. "And why do I keep - doing stuff I don't want to do! These stupid - mood swings!" 

"You're getting your beastie, Ro-bro," Remus said with a grin.

"O-oh…" 

"The mood swings and weird instincts don't come from that transformation," Janus said, "But rest assured they'll remain this bad forever."

"Jan used to bite shit," Remus giggled, "like- if you put something in front of his face he'd just- *nom*! It was super funny, but I made him a bunch of those little chewy stim toys so he'd stop biting everything else," 

"Oh like you're much better," Janus rolled his eyes, "You spent two weeks at the bottom of a lake!!" 

"The webs were the worst though… y'know I usually like creepy crawly spiders cuz they pull webs outta their butts and scare people shitless but when I can't get into the imagination because of the mass of spiderwebs…." Remus shivered, "Never breaking a spider web again."

"Are you… talking about Virgil?" Roman asked with only the slightest caution, Remus nodded, "He… never did anything like that with the light sides," 

"The animal traits almost… fade away… when a dark side becomes a light side," Janus explained sadly, "So Virgil's more spider-esque traits faded away over time,"

"He still hissed though- and liked to climb high things," Roman said, before thinking, "Sounds more like a cat to me actually," 

Janus laughed, "You should have seen him when he was here… he had spider limbs and everything, made webs like you've never seen, and he'd attack anyone who touched them," 

*Now I see why Remus is scared," Roman snorts, before coughing up smoke, "God fucking damn this- eugh!"

"It's alright, Roman, you won't learn to control it, especially not after we work out what your creature is," Janus said, patting Roman's back until he recovered. 

"We won't be able to tell until the physical bits come in," Remus said, leaning on his shoulder, "Boy how Jan was surprised when he grew a second -"

"Oh Remus sweetheart isn't there a mess you should be making or- I don't know some poor light side for you to torment?" Janus interrupted, waving Remus away. Remus' eyes sparkled at the suggestion and he sank out. Roman couldn't help but laugh.

*So… I just have to deal with this?” Roman said, looking a little scared.

“Fortunately, yes… but rest assured you will be completely alone,” Janus patted Roman on the shoulder, we will not help you with anything you need,”

“Thanks, Jan,” 

—-

Roman was scared, of course he was scared, though admitting that he was scared was the scariest part.

He’d woken up that morning only a few days after their conversation to a throbbing pain in his head, which wasn’t a headache per say because it wasn’t in his head, more like on top of it, like someone had smacked him in the skull multiple times and left throbbing bruises all along his hairline. It hurt to all hell and left Roman wanting to do nothing more than curl up into his pillow and die a a quick and painless death.

Of course that wasn’t what he actually got, all he got was Janus coming into his room when he hadn’t appeared by midday and- once his boyfriend had realised something was hurting him- had immediately rushed to find some pain meds to give him for it. They hadn’t helped, not really, but Roman appreciated the sentiment. He’d especially appreciated it after Janus had offered to kiss him better and then spent the next ten minutes smothering him in affection.

The happiness hadn’t lasted long though.

Vaguely Roman was reminded of one time- his memories were a little hazy on the details- when some of Thomas’ extended family had hosted a reunion. His own family had made the unfortunate decision to stay over the night since the house where the party was held was much to far to drive after such a party. Roman remembered that Thomas had been kept up all night by one of his aunt’s screaming baby, the kid had been teething.

This particular memory was bought to the forefront of his mind at this very moment because Roman couldn’t help but sympathise with the child. Because here he was, curled up in the corner of his bathroom. He sobbed into a pillow in the hopes that it would muffle the noise as something grew right out of his head.

Janus had warned him about this, the physical traits of his… beastie… coming through. He’d been warned about how painful it could potentially be- Virgil had been bedridden for two days as his spider legs pushed their way out of his back, it had been horrendous, apparently. For some stupid reason- because Roman’s reasons always seemed to be stupid, that’s all he was, stupid reasons and stupid ideas- he hadn’t listened to Janus. He’d thought he could deal with it. Obviously he was wrong, he couldn’t deal with this whatever the hell was growing from his skull was just proving that to him.

It felt like he was growning new bones from his skull, for all he knew he was. There was absolutely no way he was getting up to check, he could barely move from the pain as it was. 

By the time the pain had died down even just a little Roman had cried himself out of tears for the time being, now he was just stuck with hiccups and sharp breaths that he was certain weren’t good for him but he couldn’t seem to get them under control. Every time he managed it there would be another throb and the whole process would start all over again. Not only that but the clock on his wall showed that it was 6:57am. He’d been here on the floor in his bathroom for over five hours. Fortunately the throbbing pain in his head made it easy to ignore the aches and pains in his limbs from sitting in the same position for way, way too long.

Tentatively Roman attempted to move, only to experience a shooting sensation of pins and needles- like his leg was being stabbed by a milion tiny little pins that had come just to make his already shit day- and mind you it was barely seven in the morning- a whole load worse. Especially, that is, when the surprise at the sensation caused him to jerk back and hit his- well he could only assume whatever had grown out of his head in the last five hours- against the bathtub and he had to clamp his hands over his mouth to keep from screaming.

It’s ok Roman, you’ve got this, just stand up and look in the mirror, it’s right there, not so hard.

Roman whimpered as he attempted to urge himself forwards with his thoughts, reaching up to grab hold of the rim of the sink and use it as leverage to help him up. This was so pathetic, he thought, needing all of this just because of a little pain. 

When he saw his reflection in the mirror he really did shriek. 

He had horns. Massive red horns that sprouted from just behind his hairline. Two shorter in the middle that pointed straight up, the colour fading from red to orange to yellow like fire.

And next to those smaller ones were larger horns, with the same gradient though these pulled back and down and around his ears so they curled around to point forward in line with his cheekbones. They would have looked majestic on anyone else. Any other dragon.

Because that’s what this was, these horns, it was unmistakable. Even if somehow he could try to convince himself that he was just a ram or- or some other animal with horns- he knew somehow in his heart that he was a dragon. 

And he hated it, he already hated it so much because dragons were evil beasts, evil, greedy, mean, horrible foes. Dragons were the ones that kept the princesses locked away, not the ones who saved them from their towers like the dashing prince he was supposed to be.

No, he wasn’t a dashing prince anymore, Roman thought, glaring at his teary reflection in the mirror. His eyes were rimmed red, cheeks stained with tears, the horns were there, plain and vivid on his head like a raging fire. Roman was the dragon now, the villain of the story, the one that killed the dashing knights who came for the princess, he was the one who hoarded treasures in a cave and threatened anyone who came near with fire and destruction. This just proved it, if his spirit was a dragon, then he was the villain. The one in the wrong. Everything he thought was true.

Roman watched in the mirror as his eyes filled up with tears once again, though this time they weren’t allowed to spill because there was a sharp knock on his bathroom door. Roman froze, staring wide eyed at the door behind him using the mirror. He didn’t make a sound, he couldn’t maybe whoever was there would just go away.

“Roman?” A carefully controlled voice called in. It was Janus, and his tone was soft and gentle and that alone made a tear slip down Roman’s cheek, “Roman are you alright in there? I heard- I heard you scream…”

Oh god, Janus had heard him. Roman whimpered, he couldn’t help it and he knew he was about to start sobbing again.

“Ja-” Roman tried, “Janus-”

“Roman!” Janus called, his voice sounding so relieved it sent a stab through his heart, “Can I come in?”

“Yes- you- yes you c-can-” Roman stammered out, he tried to hard to get his voice to smoothen out but it seemed to be in vain, the door clicked open and Roman couldn’t bring himself to turn, he could only watch in the mirror as Janus- still disheveled and in his pajamas from sleep- stepped into the room before stopping, eyes widening when he saw the state Roman was in.

“Oh sweetheart,” Janus breathed, and he sounded so worried, it almost made Roman flinch- it reminded him so much of Patton- hah, if only Patton would see him now, what would he say? Probably that Roman’s horns made him dishonerable, they were unprincelike.

“I…” Roman started, before trailing off, he really didn’t know what he was supposed to say. He could only turn slightly to see Janus who smiled sadly when they met eyes.

“You’re so… beautiful,” Janus breathed, stepping closer, before pausing and looking over Roman properly. Roman was certain Janus could see the evidence of the crying and- hell the guy had heard him scream, of course he was worried. And, well, Roman knew he didn’t really mean the compliment. 

“...My goodness Roman have you been up all night?” Janus said sadly, stepping forward and cupping Roman’s cheeks, Roman startled when he felt cool scales and skin instead of the familiar fabric instead of gloves, “It must’ve hurt so much… how are you feeling?”

“I- I-” Roman stuttered, glancing around but finding that the only thing he could focus on was Janus’ eyes, he suddenly felt such a strong possessive urge he almost physically moved, the strange urge to keep . Roman felt it so strongly that the only way he could find to deal with it was bursting into tears.

“Oh- oh, oh,” Janus mumbled nothing words, before taking his hands from Roman’s cheeks. He barely had the chance to whine before Janus opened his arms in and offering of a hug, “C’mere, yes that’s it, it’s alright,”

Roman practically collapsed into his arms and Janus pulled him tight. It was a little bit awkward, Roman couldn’t exactly bury his face in Janus’ shoulder like he wanted to because of the sharp points he now had to be careful of, so instead he hooked his chin over Janus’ shoulder. And Janus wrapped him up so tightly, four of his arms around Romans back- holding him close, another in his hair- stroking through the strands in a way that was incredibly gentle, almost too gentle, and his final hand found Roman’s and laced their fingers together. 

He rocked them gently where they stood, one of his hands rubbing reassuring circles onto his shoulders as Roman once again cried himself out of tears. He began to hiccup all over again and Janus didn't stop rocking them both. 

"Everything will be alright, sweetheart," Janus muttered, "Come, let's go somewhere more comfortable, alright?" 

Roman could only nod and let Janus lead him slowly back into his bedroom until they were both sitting down on his bed, he waited as the other side pulled one of his thickest blankets around his shoulders and took his hands.

“Alright,” Janus said quietly, rubbing circles onto the backs of Roman’s hands as he looked into his eyes, “You can nod or shake your head, or speak if you’d like to, but I’m going to ask you a few questions, alright?”

Roman nodded slowly, he didn’t trust himself not to start crying the moment he attempted to utter a word. 

“Do they still hurt?” Janus asked, Roman considered for a moment, before shaking his head as he realised almost all the pain he had felt had faded out. There wasn’t even any of that pinpricking pain left. Just the pain in his heart left, but he was pretty sure that wasn’t what Janus was asking about.

“Thats good, sweetheart,” Janus said, leaning forward to kiss his cheek, “And do you feel alright? Both mentally and physically,”

Roman wasn’t sure if he should tell Janus about everything he was thinking. On one hand, Janus had proved he would help before, when Roman first crossed over but also… he had almost been disappointed when Roman spoke badly about himself, and even though Roman now had proof that he was evil in the dragon horns on his head, he doubted Janus would be happy to hear that, so he shook his head.

Somehow, Janus seemed to know he wasn’t being truthful.

“Are you sure?” Roman nodded, but he was as certain as the sun rising in the east that Janus hadn’t believed him. He moved on anyway though, and Roman couldn’t help but be grateful for that. 

“Do you know what your- beastie- is?” Janus asked next, “I uh- me and Remus, when we first got ours, once the physical traits started coming on we could just sortof…. Get a sense of it? Do you feel that?”

This head shake was so frantic that Roman found it slightly difficult to stop, Janus raised an eyebrow. 

“...Why are you lying to me, Roman?” Janus asked softly, squeezing his hands, “You- you know I won’t judge you, for whatever it is, don’t you?”

Roman looked away, trying to blink away more tears, because somehow despite all he had cried by now he still had more in him.

“I’m… sorry,” Roman mumbled, “I just… you’ll be- you’ll be disappointed you were wrong…”

Now Janus looked slightly alarmed, raising his eyebrows in confusion, “What… do you mean, darling?”

“I just…” He paused, trying to find the right words, “Everything- everything you’ve tried to tell me about- about me being good- it’s- it’s not true…”

“Roman, I don’t understand,” Janus told him, “How is it not true? I thought we’d gotten past this…”

“We- we had but- this- this is-” Roman paused, pulling one of his hands out of Janus’ hold to wipe at his eyes before gesturing to his new horns, “Dragons are evil- and- and mean and horrible beasts and I- this just proves I- I’m- like- that too-”

“Oh, Roman…” Janus mumbled, a frown on his face, “Now I’ve never heard something so plainly false, and I’m the liar in this relationship,”

“Wh-what?”

“Roman, love, your beastie doesn’t fully represent you anyway, and even if it did, dragons aren’t all evil,” Janus told him, “Hell, do you think I represent fertility? Fuck no,”

Roman laughed, a meek, pathetic laugh, but it seemed to placate Janus just a little bit.

“But… Dragons are the enemies! The ones that have to be defeated to rescue the princess- or- or- the- the-”

“You know what, Roman,” Janus interrupted, tapping his hands to bring his attention back, “Will you wait here for a moment, there is something that I need to do,”

“Of- of course,” Roman nodded quickly, Janus pressed a quick kiss to his forehead before standing up and sinking out of the room after sending him a small smile.

—-

Janus was gone for just long enough that Roman was beginning to get worried that he wasn’t coming back. Maybe he had realised while he was gone that Roman really was evil, and he wasn’t worth the effort, so he was just going to leave him to deal with this on his own. And not to mention that now he felt that same tingly almost-pain he had felt in his head yesterday in his teeth now, he guessed that would be the next part of him to change. He was about to just accept that Janus wouldn’t be coming back when his door was kicked open.

“Hey Ro!” Remus yelled, running in and grabbing Roman’s wrists in a way that wasn’t gentle, but Roman could tell it was friendly, “Janny said you were feeling down ‘cuz of your beastie, so we’re having a movie day,”

“I- wait- but-” Roman tried to protest as Remus pulled him to stand up and began to drag him out of his room, Roman attempted to dig in his heels, “Do I get a say?”

“Nope!” Remus said, popping the ‘p’ as he grinned back at him over his shoulder, “You’re not allowed to be sad,”

“But- I’m-” Roman tried to protest, “Do you not even see what I am?”

“A big strong badass beastie for my big strong badass brother?” Remus said, blinking at him as if that was the most obvious thing ever, “I don’t see the problem!”

“But-”

“Oh shut it!” Remus said, turning around and slapping his cheeks, making Roman make an involuntary ‘pop’ sound with his mouth as his face was squashed, “You’re watching movies with us and you don’t get a choice, now sit down,”

“I- um- ok?” Roman said, gingerly sitting down in the middle of the sofa. Janus- with a soft, knowing smile on his face- sat down next to him and Remus through himself on top of them both and grabbed the remote, pressing play before any of them said anything. 

Roman knew even as the first few notes of the score played with the emerging dreamworks logo what they were watching and when he turned to Janus, he just smirked.

“What?” Janus said innocently.

“Why- why are we watching this?” Roman said slowly, as the film moved on to Hiccup describing Berk, showing scenes of dragons attacking the town.

“Because,” Janus smiled, “I believe you need to learn the same lesson as a certain Viking chief,”

“O-oh-” Roman choked, turning back to the screen. He didn’t want to admit that he was about to cry again as he watched Hiccup shoot down the nightfury, he knew this film, he’d watched it at least twenty times. Of course he had, it was an amazing piece of cinema and had the most spectacular music, but this…

“And afterwards we’ll be watching Raya and the Last Dragon,” Janus commented idly, “And then Eragon, and after that, if you still need convincing, we’ll be watching Mulan”

“Mushu is hardly a dragon,” Roman cried with a choked laugh, understanding the theme of their movie night, he also understood that he didn’t have a choice.

“He’s still a dragon!” Remus yelled, “And if you’re still being sulky after that we’re watching Shrek!”

“I- alright I- just so you know I um-” Roman said, before trailing off to watch as Hiccup cut Toothless free.

“What do we need to know, darling?” Janus said quietly, nudging his arm to catch his attention again. 

“The um- the tingly pain-” Roman said, “Like- like what I felt before these horns- um- appeared, it’s… back,”

“Where too! Ooh what’s next?” Remus asked with a gasp, leaning uncomfortably close to him, Roman attempted to laugh and gently pushed him away.

“My teeth,” Roman answered quietly. Remus gasped even more dramatically.

“All of them?” Janus asked.

“No I… don’t think so,” Roman said slowly, “Just some…”

“You’re getting fangs!” Remus yelled, way more excited about that than Roman could even think about being, “That makes all of us! We all get fangs,”

Janus smiled, before taking Roman’s hand, “It’ll be alright, but Roman?”

“Yes?” Roman asked, looking over at Janus, suddenly he was worried that he’d done something wrong.

“Next time you’re in pain, please tell one of us… don’t just hide in your bathroom all night, alright?” Janus said with half a smile, Roman went red and looked back at the screen.

“I’ll… I’ll try,”

“Good, now watch the film!” Remus said, shoving him, Roman shoved back and it very quickly turned into a shoving match on the couch before Janus looped his arms under Roman’s to wrap around his chest and effectively stop the playful fight in it’s tracks. 

“Now boys, no fighting on the couch, remember?” Janus scolded. Roman looked sheepish while Remus just grinned. 

“Aweee Janny! You love us really,”

“I hate you both very much, I just aboslutely love having a destroyed couch that I need to work out how to replace again after Roman set it on fire yesterday,”

“Hey! You know I couldn’t control that!”

“Of course, darling, but that doesn’t make replacing it any easier,”

“...That’s fair I suppose,”

[lily-janus]

More pinned post shit

Au: mindscape

Pairing (/p): creativitwins

"You've never hurt me. Never."

The Play

Summary: Roman asks for Remus' help... don't worry, it goes better than you think.

Pairing: platonic creativitwins

Warnings: Remus being Remus, sexual innuendos, lots of cursing, angst, yelling, blood mention, self degrading, weapon mention, very brief non-descriptive violence. Lemme know if I missed any.

Word count: 2,125

Thank you for the request! First time trying this kind of premise so hope it turned out okay! Enjoy!

(Likes<<<<reblogs, please reblog if you like, it really helps me out)

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C'mon… it's no big deal! Just walk inside dammit! You do it all the time to all the sides' rooms! Just burst in without a care in the world like always!

…so what if you didn't didn't talk one on one since forever? It's no biggie, right? You don't care about anything, especially not others' opinions! And especially not his-

"Remus?"

Remus jumped, startled out of his thoughts, and turned to look as his favorite snake.

Janus looked at the door Remus had been staring at for who-knows-how-long, then at Remus, and frowned.

"Something I should know?" He asked, probing, but gently probing, as always seeming to pick up on Remus' hesitation.

Remus forced a grin and shook his head. "Nope! All good here!" 

He wasn't buying it, he knew he wouldn't, but it's not like he's going to talk about it here and now either.

Janus sighed. "If you say so, you know where to find me if it's not." And with a gentle brush on Remus' shoulder, he continued on his way.

And dammit the stupid snake always knew what to say didn't he? Whatever happens in there… he's got good ol' Janny.

He took one deep breath and swung open the door with as much flourish as he could master!

"I'm hereee!" He sang as he entered the room, shutting the door loudly behind him.

"Geez u scared the living shakespeer out of me, Remus!" Roman startled, putting a hand on his heart.

Remus cackled. "Awesome!"

Roman breathed out a sigh. "I'm regretting this already…" he grumbled.

"Too late! You made the mistake of inviting me!" Remus grinned, pretending Roman's comment didn't sting… because it didn't of course.

"I did… to be honest I didn't think you'd come…" Roman confessed.

"Aww how can I refuse an invite from my dearest brother?" Remus teased.

Roman huffed. "An invite for 5 hours ago, and you don't have a great record of listening to… well, anything."

Remus shrugged. "Welp! I came whether you like it or not… Why did you invite me, by the way?" The question sounded way more hesitant than Remus intended.

Roman bit his lip. "Well I… I just wanted to ask you um…" he took a deep breath. "I need your help with a project okay?" He finally said.

Remus blinked. "My help? Like… me specifically?"

Roman nodded.

"What? You're writing smut or something? I can for sure help with that!" Remus offered with a mischievous grin.

Roman blushed furiously. "No!" He squeaked. "Not that geez um… how do I explain this…" he muttered to himself.

"You see, I wrote a play and it turned out… fine I guess, but it still felt like it's missing something, so naturally I asked the others for feedback… they tried their best, bless them, but they're not artists… they don't get it you know? What I'm saying is… you're kind of my only hope right now." He explained.

"Oh! You need my creative wisdom! Well why didn't you just say so? Let me see your sappy play then!" Remus reached out his hands to take it.

"I didn't say it was sappy!" Roman protested but handed over the play anyway.

"You didn't need to, Ro-Ro, you wrote it." Remus cackled at Roman's pout before turning his attention to the pages in his hands.

Silence followed as Remus read, Roman looking over his shoulder anxiously to see where he was, until he finally finished and looked up.

"You're right, bro, it is missing something…" he tapped his chin, thinking.

"Right? I tried telling them but all Patton did is tell me that it's great and I should give myself more credit, all Logan did was say the 'structure' or whatever was good and fixed some grammar mistakes and Virgil said, and I quote: 'not really an expert on plays but I think it's pretty good'. Which is sweet of them but again, not really helping." Roman sputtered in frustration, putting his face in his hands.

"This needs to be ready tomorrow and I just… I don't know what to do! I can't give it to Thomas when it's like this!" Roman threw his hands in the air theatricaly, looking at Remus pleadingly.

"Calm your tits bro, fuck, your play's fine, just needs some little twicks and it's perfect." Remus rolled his eyes, handing it back to Roman.

"You… you think so?" Roman took it hesitantly.

"Tell you what, let's just try and act it out and see if we get ideas on what to add." Remus suggested.

Roman gave him a funny look.

"What's with the face?" Remus questioned, refusing the urge to blush at the attention.

"That's… that's a great idea, Remus…" Roman said in disbelief.

Remus grinned, shimmying his shoulders. "All my ideas are, bro-Ro!"

Roman huffed a laugh. "We must have different memories then."

Remus waved his hand dismissively. "Eh, you're just boring as fuck sometimes…" he paused. "Though fucking is much more exciting." He cackled, volume increasing when Roman blushed a deep red.

"You're impossibl-"

"Impossibly sexy? I agree! Thanks for noticing!"

Roman shook his head with a tiny hint of a smile. "So are we doing this or what? Or are you stalling because you know I'm a better actor than you?" He teased with a proud smile that's just a shy away from Janus' signature smirk

Remus barked a laugh at that. "You wish." He snapped to conjure another copy of the play for him, looking at Roman, challenging.

Smiling, Roman cleared his throat, holding the script in front of him, and started.

…

Roman looked away with an expression of deep hurt. "I… I'm sorry brother, I failed you.." he said brokenly.

Remus tutted. "Oh no, not at all. You see, you were right, all I do is hurt people… there's no hope for me." He said darkly.

Roman shook his head. "No… no, it's not true! I… I shouldn't have said that, I didn't mean it… please, don't do this." He begged, reaching for him.

Remus chuckled. "You see? I even hurt you-"

"No!" Roman grabbed him by his shoulders, looking deeply into his eyes… Remus would have believed it if he didn't know they were acting…

"Listen to me, you've never hurt me. Never." 

Remus suddenly forgot his lines, choking a bit as he looked away.

"...Remus?"

Fuck why does he sounds like he actually cares?

Trying desperately not to shake, Remus glanced at the pages in his hands and delivered the next line.

But Roman shook his head, taking the play from him and setting it down on a chair gently.

"You can't lie to me, I can tell you're upset."

Remus huffed. "So what if I am? Since when do you care?"

Roman's face almost made him want to take it back… almost.

"All your stupid play's missing is a death scene, there, problem solved, happy ending, cheers and all that." He said emptily.

Roman looked confused for a moment before he saw Remus snap his fingers. His eyes widened. "Remus, wait-"

Was all he heard before he appeared back in his good ol' hell of a room.

He sighed, summoning his morning star and raising it for a strike, when he heard a pop behind him and swung there instinctively.

"Wha- hey! Watch out!"

He froze. "Ro? What the fuck are you doing here? Sneaking up on me like that?"

Roman huffed, dusting his perfectly clean and not-wrinkled clothes in indignation. "I was trying to check up on you, silly."

"Well you're about 7 years late, get the fuck out, unless you wanna find out what fun surprises I have here." He grinned maliciously.

Roman crossed his arm stubbornly. "No, I'm not leaving until you tell me what's wrong." 

"Fine! You wanna know what's wrong, Roman?" Remus snapped, waving his morning star carelessly.

"Yes, I do!" Roman shouted back.

"What's wrong is you suddenly pretending like you care how I feel when you made it very fucking clear in the past 7 years that you don't!" Remus spat.

"No… you don't understand I-"

"What's wrong, is you acting like everything's sunshine and rainbows when you know fucking well how it's not even close!" Remus cut him off.

"Remus I was try-"

"What's fucking wrong is that today is the first fucking time we hung out together in years! And it was just because you needed something from me! Did you even realize that? Or were you so caught up in your stupid fantasies and delusions that you didn't even notice?" Remus was shouting so loudly he could taste blood, but he didn't care.

"You're such a fucking pussy that you can't handle how fucking messed up the world is, you're even worse than your naive father figure! You disappear on me for years and suddenly act like you care? You're never there when I need you! Never! And you wonder what's wrong? What the fuck? You're so fucking blin-"

"I was trying to apologize!"

The room fell into a deafening silence, the only sound being the twin's heavy breathing.

Roman let out a big sigh dropping his gaze. "I… I didn't know how…" he swallowed. "I didn't know how to approach the subject… this was the best I could come up with…"

Remus blinked a few times, trying to process the words. "...what?"

"The play! Remus… the stupid play… I wrote it… about us… but with me trying to make things right… it was just a cover story so I can invite you and… apologize…" Roman explained weakly. "It was a dumb idea I know…" he added, clutching his arm tightly in shame.

The play…

"You've never hurt me. Never"...

Remus swallowed. "H-how accurate is the play?" He hated how shaky his voice was.

"As accurate as it can be." Roman shrugged, looking up to meet his eyes.

But Remus couldn't look back at him. "Why… why now?"

Roman bit his lip. "You were right… I was… I was too caught up in a fantasy to realize I abandoned you… but lately, things… happened. And they made me reflect on myself…" a sob escaped Roman's throat. "I'm such an ass Remus, I'm sorry! I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" He buried his face in his hands, shaking with sobs.

Remus pinched himself, Roman was still there, he did again, nothing changed… Roman was here, apologizing for him. He's not dreaming, he's not imagining… he's here!

And yet… Remus couldn't forgive him… not yet at least.

Roman was still sobbing in front of him. "Okay, okay, c'mere you big sap." He pulled him into a rib-crushing bear hug that made him gasp for breath.

"Does… that mean you forgive me?" Roman asked hesitantly into his shoulder.

Remus cackled evilly. "Oh you sweet, naive Ro-Ro…" he shook his head, releasing him so he could see his wild grin. "You have so much to do to make it up to me."

Roman sighed but smiled anyway. "Guess I deserved that, I'll do my best, I love you, Re."

"Ew! Gross, gross gross! Get out of here before your sappy feelings stink up my room!" Remus covered his ears, shaking his head.

"But it's already stinky-"

"Out!" He snapped his fingers, banishing Roman outside.

"Rude!" He heard shouting on the other side of the door. And then he heard him walk away.

Remus shook his head, sighing in relief. "I love you too, Ro."

"Aw"

He jumped. "Fucking hell, Janny! How long have you been here?!" He shrieked.

"Not important." Jan waved his hand dismissively, smirking at him from where he sat on Remus' bed. "So, the big, scary Remus has feelings…" Janny teased, clearly delighted.

Remus huffed. "You're the one to talk, Sneky."

"I say this went better than expected." Janus, of course, ignored him, patting the space next to him.

Remus fell beside him, making the mattress bounce a little. "Were you worried about me, Jan-Jan?" He teased, poking him in the ribs.

Janus huffed a chuckle. "You wish, how long are you planning to keep him on the hook?" 

Remus grinned. "For as long as it's fun." He chuckled.

"Hmm now where did you get that from?" Jan smirked.

Remus cackled. "Gee I wonder."

Janus suddenly turned serious, looking Remus in the eye. "You have every right to stay mad, you know, I saw first hand how much he hurt you."

Remus looked away. "I know… but, I think I want to forgive him… eventually."

Janus nodded. "Alright, just don't feel obligated to. I'll let you sleep now, you know where I am if you need me." He squeezed his shoulder gently before disappearing.

Good ol' Janny, always there for him… and soon maybe Roman would too… who would have thought…

Certainly not Remus.