#death to the old ways
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Let the poor man rest.
#also no he doesn't want to experience life as a normal person. no he wouldn't sacrifice his powers to live again.#he LOVED being powerful. he was very proud of his powers. he was at the top of the world. what he disliked was being so lonely at the top.#which having reunited with Geto now he is not.#and he wanted to keep the next generation safe due to his past regrets and teach a generation of kids to be at the top together.#and he wanted to get rid of the corrupt higher-ups and reform the Jujutsu society.#and he did all of that. Yuta and Yuuji are both alive and safe and the kids are all reunited with each other stronger than ever#and the higher-ups are d**d.#Gojo obviously wouldn't hate to keep living. he clearly didn't expect to lose and die. but as he himself confirmed#he died doing what he loved. he went out the way he wanted. he went out with a bang. he had the best fight of his life and gave it his all.#as he said 'he had fun'. he said it would have been embarrassing if he died of old age or sickness.#and now that he's gone he's happy with his friends and especially Geto. he found peace.#He said it himself 'Now i'm wishing that it's not just a dream'.#also for those of you who say that Geto & Gojo wouldn't be together because one would go to hell and one to heaven... no. just no.#first of all. Gojo did a mass m*r*** before his death#second of all. they're Buddhists. they don't have heaven and hell. don't bring Abrahamic religions into everything.#and you'd be surprised by the excuses the Abrahamic religions find to not let people in heaven.#probably Gojo wouldn't go to heaven even if he didn't kill the higher-ups due to...idk... occasionaly doing pranks or sth.#but Gege apparently created a whole other afterlife of his own. and Toji Geto Gojo Nanami and everyone were all gathered there together.#you SAW that. so stop.#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#gojo satoru#satoru gojo#jjk gojo#gege akutami#my two cents#satosugu
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2024_06_25 // to try and build a portal
this one is going to have two topics: what i recently learned through my recent mental experiences and recent experiences effecting my mind.
so, part one: Puppy-Wolfie (i need a system name) and the Intense Week and a Half Long Manic Episode (Featuring Religious Delusions).
i had, as the previous paragraph says, a manic episode that lasted longer than usual that was accompanied by some awesome religious delusions. see, i think these are great opportunities to learn and expend effectively limitless mental and creative energy, so that's exactly what i did. i began to panic a bit in the beginning because i had never had an episode that lasted that long and was also that intense. here is what i learned summerized in some bulletpoints:
• the divine shows itself in those named through the cosmos, the psychedelic episteme, the words of the empathetic, and the language of revolutionaries
• i have the skillset i do for a reason and need to use it to accomplish the greater will of the tao
• the greater will in question here being communism
• a comet and st. laika met on the firmament's i-94 and decided to choose me to be an instrument in achieving communism in a holy unification
• che guevara and jesus christ are one in the same and might also be my previous incarnations
• if you ever get poisoned by too much divinity, embrace it, don't rationalize it
• once i have achieved my goals i will once again be reborn as a comet in name
• in my lifelong quest to end shame, i realize that it is a product of morality and common sense, which must be destroyed
• if i cannot create communism by 2061 the experiment comes to an end
• above all else, i am inhuman
• a new institutional religion is required to replace the previous ones as nature hates a vacuum. i elect one venerating laika as a saint and life and love as virtues, however this is interchangeable ultimately. a thorough restructuring of christianity or islam would probably work best in these parameters
if this all sounds like a lot of nonsense or narcissism i totally get you, but this just what i learned. i chose partake in a substance to contextualize these lessons and that was the end of that.
part two: Puppy-Wolfie Presents: Lessons in Betrayal and Marijuana.
i don't wanna air out my dirty laundry as this is more about my reaction and thoughts on the matter rather than what happened so i will give a very brief summary of what happened. my best friend decided to cut contact and stop being friends with me because i don't like his boyfriend because he leaked my vents to somebody who wants me dead and won't leave my life alone.
now, how did i feel about this? well for one, i saw it coming. we were getting shorter and shorter with one another and hadn't hung out in a long while. it erupted when he was caught being directly two-faced and i called him out on it. initially it didn't hit hard because of the fact i saw it coming. person who wants me dead is a fucking parasitic and evil force in the life of others which i know first-hand. having been given a few days, i see myself getting more and more upset about this situation and i don't like this. i am supposed to be building communism, i can't let something like this get to me if i am meant to achieve that goal, however, it is a fact i cannot deny that i am a person who has emotions, and those emotions get hurt when my trust is betrayed, no matter how much experience i have with my trust being carved up and mutilated. you'd think i would be used to it, and to a degree that's true. a few years ago i would have been shaking and screaming, instead i am listening to avril lavigne and ada rook and letting out a sigh as i think about what an awful thing drama is and how bitterness is the true killer of the heart.
moral of the story? fuck weed. if you start weed you'll become a hedonistic asshole with no moral basis, willing to sell anybody out as long as you can maintain some sort of stagnant stability. this isn't always the case of course, just something that happened to happen twice to two people i was very close with. sorry i really think weed is a net-negative outside of medical and religious contexts.
#blog post#sorry i hate weed now#betrayal#mania#divinity#religious delusions#st. laika#che guevara is jesus christ#death to the old ways#communism#big sigh
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Rising from the dead to share this painting and then disappear again
I have spent over 90 hours of my life on this thing because I have had the brain rot for the last 2 years of my life (almost 20 if you count when I first read the comics) and it had to express itself somehow
Hope this dramatic bitch feels appreciated
(A Dream of Morpheus, handmade egg tempera on panel, 12x18 inches...if by any chance you'll be at SDCC or Gen Con, I'll be at booth 934/936 at the first one and Art Show #13 at the second one - come see the original, maybe get a print, or just yell/cry about Sandman with me?)
And here, have some more details - I had fun combining some favorite elements from both the comic and the show ♡
#sandman#morpheus#dream of the endless#egg tempera#traditional art#do I tag all the little guys?#that seems clunky#anyway obviously lucienne was gonna be in there because what a glow-up#and jessamy bc we stan#and my potato blorbo the corinthian#and my love hoberto#I liked him already from the comic and then immaculate casting happened#dark haired desire because I'm old enough to get the nagel reference#and show!death because 1 I like her and 2 I started this way before The News but I feel like I made a good choice#bc stepping away from Girls Neil Thinks Are Hot can't be a bad thing rn#not that it's the girls who need to be stepped away from but you get me#heavyhanded shakespeare metaphor: the painting
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Empress and her Bodyguard.
(OCs, grey haired lady Zaphira she/her, demon Shargon he/they)
(also some details up close)
and this guy bc i find him funny
#ganondoodles#art#digital art#painting#artists on tumblr#ocs#original character#look i had to call it quits at some point#so if i waited anylonger to post it in whatever form of finished it was i would have lost interest and would never have posted it so#here it is#also you guys get more info#zaphira is the empress of the largest land in this world and conquered most of it in her youth#she used to be obsessed with war bc she wanted to prove herself to be the strongest ruler there was after the violent death of her-#adopted parents#she grew to see that that isnt the way in part bc of her lover at that time who was a general in her army#but she died in that battle and since then zaphira has been trying to rebuild whatever she destroyed and give back what she can#but she is still very hated and couldnt leave her palace for the longest time bc of assassins until she heard of a demon lurking around#and sought him out to be her bodyguard bc who would dare attack her when shes got a demon at her side#this is her arriving at the palace of another country whos leader challegned her to a fist fight bc he thought shes frail and old#(its an assassination attempt- she knows that)
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The thing that gets me giddy is the fact that Logan goes from "Do I know you, bub?" to "WADE! You don't have to do this!"
#i love me a grumpy old man that chose his favorite disaster boy and stands with him#mr rock bottom mcwhiskey dick of the claws imprinted on an equally disastrous boyfailure#YEAH LOGAN YOU DO KNOW HIM#YOU WOULD RECOGNIZE HIM BY TOUCH ALONE#BY SMELL#YOU WOULD KNOW HIM BLIND#BY THE WAY HIS BREATHS CAME AND HIS FEET STRUCK THE EART#YOU WOULD KNOW HIM IN DEATH#AT THE END OF THE WORLD#did i really just. quote#madeline miller#patrochilles#patroclus and achilles#deadpool and wolverine#deadpool#wade wilson#poolverine#wolverine#logan howlett#deadpool 3#deadclaws#deadpool 2024
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I just want to see him again.
#persona 3#persona#fanart#p3#yukari takeba#artists on tumblr#p3fes#persona 3 the answer#the answer spoilers#<- tags I never thought I would use in the year 2024#me when the 17 year old going through extreme trauma mourning the death of her best friend/boyfriend isnt making rational decisions#currently getting ready to fight the war on yukari in the answer on the side of yukari in the answer#I am not ready to go through this scene again but with good english voice acting#even with the honestly really bad voice acting in fes I still tear up when she says that line#anyway free my girl she did all of that but she deserves better anyway#me: I should try to practice drawing hands in a fun way like while drawing my fave characters!#also me: draws yukari having a breakdown
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Prompt 292
“Oh I am blaming all of this on you T,” one of the beings in the summoning circle groans, burying their corpse-pale head in clawed hands as their white hair flickered.
“Me? Excuse me, I wasn’t the one to accept the summoning!” another being protested, hood hiding most of their face save for molten-gold eyes and glittering runes or code on dark blue skin. “I was trying to figure out how to convince PK to change our schedule to include more sleeping, so don’t look at me, look at S!”
“Well I didn’t accept it,” the only girl-sounding one scoffed, her crown of thorns seeming to writhe and bloom in her black hair for a moment. She crossed her arms, narrowing green eyes just a few shades darker than the white-haired one. “Maybe talk to whoever decided to summon us?”
All of the sudden the cultists and heroes were being peered down at by a trio of… honestly whatever they were, because they didn’t seem to be the “Infinite King” the cult had been attempting to summon. Actually, they kind-of-maybe looked like kids… Which probably meant their parents or caretakers wouldn’t be too pleased.
#DCxDP#DPxDC#Prompts#Halfa Trio#They all go by Phantom lol#Space Core Danny#Life Core Sam#Storm Core Tucker#They’re all technically princes/princesses of the Realms thx to Pariah thinking they’re adorable lil violent ankle biters#Who practically tried to gnaw him to death & are just lil ghostlings not even 10 years old yet#Clockwork technically adopted them first#They made a deal with PK that they visit daily & he puts Amity Park BACK#Even if everyone is now ecto-contaminated from being in the Realms for a solid several hours or so#Honestly they’re getting way more sleep than they would if just one of them were halfas because they can take turns on night duty#Though yes they all have their own Dan equivalent#And I have no clue what happened with the clones besides Dani but she’s now all of their baby sister#She’s with the Yetis gettin medical care hence why she didn’t also get summoned#Fright Knight is their main teacher & they're going to have to fight to not have him assigned as their bodyguard after this summoning bs
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Something about older Jason looking at the child version of himself, the innocent victim, and feeling the need to defend and avenge him the way no one else will. They'll call him reckless and try to pin the blame for his death on some unique failure of his personality, the problem isn't Robin the problem is he was just a bad fit for Robin! And then older Jason coming back to life and spits on their twisted grief. Fuck you, that innocent child deserved more. You took his memory and ruined it to make yourselves feel better. If no one will give him justice then Jason will take it himself no matter who he has to kill to get there. It's the only way he can move forward.
Something about older Cass looking at this child version of herself, this innocent who has no idea what she was doing when she was tricked into killing, and finding her irredeemable. She will forgive everyone for everything if they need a second chance but she cannot forgive that innocent child. She spends ten years wanting that child to die for their sin, a standard she holds no one else to. And in the end she does have to die. She can never forgive that child until the price has been paid and the guilty, tormented, suicidal mess of a girl is dead and never coming back. Only then can Cass live on. Only then can she smile without feeling the weight of her kill on her back. If no one will give that child the justice they deserve then she will have to do it herself. It's the only way she can move forward.
#dc#cassandra cain#dc rambles#Jason Todd#They're so messed up in such fun inverted ways#Everyone's always like oh what would Robin Jason think of red hood but I think what red hood thinks of Robin#Is equally as important#Likewise baby cass would most likely feel relief that someday she escapes the all consuming self hatred#And older Cass would feel... A lot. Regret she spent so long hating this child. Grief for what she was tricked into doing.#But I don't think she's ever fully going to get rid of all that cold hatred. That emotion that let's her look at her 8 year old self#And sentence them to death. Only them. No one else. Because people are good deep down but this child is rotten.#She's so mentally ill and relatable <3#It's not even recognisable hatred because it's so clinical and all consuming. She doesn't hate herself she just believes she deserves to di#What do you mean that's a sign of self hatred Barbara don't be silly she's perfectly fine.
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Katara: *brings up her mother’s death, someone who died in her place because of ethnic cleansing, less than 10 times in show about world-wide colonization*
Fans: Katara is SO ANNOYING. She brings up her mom’s death every three minutes and I wish she’d just stop.
#ethnic cleansing mention#mention of ethnic cleansing#atla fandom salt#this whole thing about Katara bringing up her dead mom makes me want to throw things#I wonder why a 14 year old girl would use her relationship to mom’s death#as a way to bridge the gap between her and other victims of colonization#atla#avatar#avatar the last airbender#katara
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The wrong DNA test
( what if, Sheila wasn't really Jason's mother? The system is already corrupted, then what about the test?).
A huge brawl containing every rogue had started at the time of Halloween, causing the people from downtown to fled there home's as joker had clownized the whole neighborhood with his goon's.
Every bats had taken to groups to take out the three parts of Gotham's as the rogue's had started to make alliances, some had lasted quite long while had conflicts, and causing a big damage to Arkham asylum,
It didn't take long before they captured all of them, none of the bats questions as they observed Jason glowing green eyes starting to flick, they thought it was the pit again, growing wary of the cooperation, but Crime alley was involved and that mean business to Red hood's turf.
Catherine todd love her son as her own even if not biological, Jason knew that. But her thing with drugs couldn't make her stop.
Sometimes after that, they could hear Jason humming a tune,a nice melody from Damian's statement saying that Jason muttered to him “ lullaby” as Jason continued to read his book, maybe it could be from Catherine,
they knew how Jason's past with Catherine todd, his mom even if not related, Catherine loves her son like her own kid but her doing drugs and... overdosing couldn't be stop.
Maybe Jason just remembered his mother maybe reminiscing atleast something familiar...even if it was a bad time.
Jason had constantly have been hearing a woman's? Man's? Voice, singing him a lullaby...it soothing, like as if he known and loved this melody...and that's where the dreams kept coming, there was a person, giving him kisses, Talkin to him stories, singing him lullabies and soothing him, he could dream that he was actually a baby, a baby from a normal couple, well don't count the luxurious baby room.
Jason had took out a conspiracies why he was getting this dreams, ( he swears he's not becoming Tim) and voices, maybe like a misshapen memories from the pits of victims? No it's to peaceful for that, maybe magic? He already contacted Constantine but surely hang up after knowing who it was-
Just how is he getting this dreams? Unless it wasn't.... So he proved again his point, he started a DNA test, again but none had records...of Sheila being his biological mother...that was weird, last time he had a test was from the time as robin..and before his-
So he went to that hospital who had said where Sheila had given birth to him, and most of shock is that no one knows a mother giving birth named Sheila haywood but had a document of a baby, of one Jason jay nightingale, the most believing part was that it's the same day he was born in.
His mother, Daniel F. Nightingale was said to be trans as the doctor who help his mother safely delivered him, And saying that his mother loved him,
one Sheila Haywood had the constant trick to get him and taken him as his own, because his mother's family was a wealthy one they practically sold him to her.
Jason had thought that maybe his mother's family never wanted him to have a son with a man from Gotham's crime alley.
Meanwhile Danny had just been YEETED to the DC universe before the start of Batman's justice thing and had been adopted by a very wealthy fruit loops couple as there kid, so he stayed as the couples daughter even pretending, because he owed ghost writer a favor for the last time, and as DC universe exist so it's story, and one thing for sure the child he had to give birth in this universe has a very complicated fate,
he did the one night stand from his supposed friend Willis Todd? He had to befriend him as Dalia F. nightingale the supposed Wealthy daughter who fell in love with a peasant trope, and gotten pregnant making it a scandal, and reaching to his ‘parents’ circle and getting that drama.
But he never thought he would care for his child, his little jay, his ghost side would purr in delight when they held Jason, he was a very hard sucker especially from his pacifier or his breast, it's so weird being in a women body,
but the way his ‘parents’ sold his son to the women who was supposed to get his son killed and being revived by cheap parody ass of ectoplasm.
He went feral, he had an argument to his ‘parents’ but all fell deaf ears, he couldn't find his son in one of the hotels nearby where that BXtch was.
And that time was where his part of the script was fulfilled, ghost writer already took him, both sides of his, were angry.
He. will. get. his. baby. back.
#dcxdp#Danny phantom#dcxdp crossover#Mom!Danny#Batfam#Jason todd#portraits#When the bats find this they decided to help find Jason's Mom only to find out she went missing#his Jay Nightingale now#yes- im getting of topic#so lets just say that clockwork has also has some things involved with his#dcdp#batfam#and ghostwriter#so if this doesn't go to your timeline aus or smth or cannon idk what to say#when the bats found out about Jason's investigation to find his mother#they gladly help but after finding where jason's grandparents who sold him to Haywood#they meet with them#and the whole revealed was much more depressing because His mother died/missing/suicide#Ghost writer was the one who plan the...The death scene.#so jason is sad#and very much wants his momma#because thats how ghost parents shit is right?#yeah i dont think im educated enough#So the grandparents are like grieving for there son (yes they accepted his trans btw).#and let jason and the rest of the batfam in there manor/castle ( cause there seriously old money) and introduce jason to his mom's things#portraits of danny#telling stories of danny in his youth.#but they avoided the way he ‘died’ for ghost writers plot conveniences but they mention#green...like ectoplasm but they just called it green liquid.
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"now we got to choose who we want to be"
"like what?"
"whatever we want kid, whatever we want. "
and he chose to be her father.
#im not okay but like in the best way possible#thank you tbb and thank you hunter for surviving and becoming a sexy old man#grown up omega is so</33 hearybreakingly beautiful#techs death finally hitting me after a full year of positive denial chat this is gna be hard😭😭😭#the bad batch#tbb#the bad batch season 3#tbb season 3#tbb spoilers#the bad batch spoilers#star wars#star wars: the bad batch#tbb omega#tbb hunter#omega bad batch#hunter bad batch#sergeant hunter#tbb s3 spoilers#star wars tbb
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Thinking about marriage/women's rights on Vulcan Some may think that T'Pring not being allowed to divorce Spock was because he was going through the pon farr but if she were allowed to divorce him at all she probably would have done that a long time ago, confirmed by T'Pol when she's speaking with Koss, who isn't suffering from the pon farr. She says that he can choose another mate (without invoking a fight it seems: note the difference between a 'mate' and a 'challenger') and after he makes it clear that nothing she says will change his mind about marrying her, she finally threatens to declare a kal-if-fee. It's clear that Vulcan women cannot divorce/refuse to marry a man they've been betrothed to under any circumstances if A) He himself doesn't consent to ending their marriage or B) She doesn't have someone else waiting in the wings to be given to in his stead. Though, if the challenger she selects fails to win the fight, she'll have to marry her betrothed anyway unless (again) he decides he doesn't want her after the challenge. That seems like an incredibly unfair system, heavily biased towards men. SNW is an alternate universe in many obvious respects but most egregiously in that T'Pring has a lot of non-canonical agency over her relationship with Spock. It's interesting to me that Vulcan society has women in many positions of power and treats women as equal to men from what I've seen despite these laws. We don't really see Vulcans exhibiting a misogynistic attitude towards women in general but in TOS (perhaps because of its general writing style but it's still interesting to note) both Sarek and Spock take on patriarchal attitudes specifically regarding wives. Amanda says that 'of course' Sarek commands her because "he is a Vulcan and I am his wife." It's worthwhile in my eyes to note that she specifies 'wife' instead of attributing this attitude to women as a whole. Again, with TOS' writing style it wouldn't be out of place for her to say "he is a man and I am a woman." Spock, while in a pon farr induced irritation, states that it's "undignified for a woman to play servant to a man that isn't hers" - again implying that there's something specific about being a Wife in Vulcan society which is different from being a woman in general and demands subservience to a husband. This could perhaps stem from the extreme sense of ownership that Vulcan law has permitted men to have over women. A woman legally cannot point blank refuse marriage. There is no option which guarantees she won't have to marry her betrothed other than death. When T'Pau speaks of T'Pring she refers to her as being 'property' and Stonn, before being interrupted, states he's made 'the ancient claim' - we don't know what this is because he gets cut off but it's obvious they're both using the language of Vulcan law. Men are permitted true freedom to choose. If a woman wants to choose someone else to be with there is no option available to her other than the kal-if-fee which might result in the death of the one she wants to be with. And, if her lover fails, her husband can still just decide he wants to marry her and she'll be forced to. T'Pring gives two scenarios: One where Spock 'frees' her and one where he doesn't - it's still ultimately his decision which is clear when he ends the conversation with "Stonn, she is yours." This again isn't just because of the pon farr as T'Pol also goes through this. Koss can choose another mate and when the option is talked about there's no implication that this would result in any sort of fight (both by the casualness of its mention and by the fact that there's no formal word for it unlike the kal-if-fee.) Also, the fact that Koss does eventually grant T'Pol a divorce and it's all fine means that T'Pol isn't lawfully required to have another man waiting if her HUSBAND doesn't want her. It's ONLY required if SHE doesn't want her husband. Tradition must take precedence over individual desire UNLESS!!! You're a man. Then it's fine. Like, your parents might not be happy but legally you're golden.
#as a note do NOT read the comments on any T'Pol marriage clips on youtube they're full of 'haha women amiright' jokes about#how she's leading Trip on and being a bitch for not choosing him etc - if you become interested in female characters you learn#quickly just how much people still hate women displaying any amount of complexity/doing anything that isn't just falling into a man's arms#even if that hatred doesn't take the form of outright vitriol (aka: 'I feel so sad for Trip bc T'Pol's marrying some other guy')#Trip: T'Pol listen this arranged marriage stuff is no good - you've gotta be free! You have to do what YOU want to do!#T'Pol: -legally seen as property of her husband in the eyes of the law- ...............#<- not dunking on Trip it's just funny how easy it makes it seem - but!! He doesn't know all the facts#as evidenced by him saying T'Pol might 'call off the wedding' to her mother - T'Pol can't legally call off shit#It's also interesting how gender isn't really mentioned in any of the clips I've seen - it's very clear to me that T'Pol has no options#specifically because she's a WOMAN within her culture but that's almost like a quiet undercurrent and not focused on as a main#point of dissatisfaction - which I imagine it 1000% would be for Vulcan women when men have infinitely more freedom#Vulcan Man: I don't wanna marry this lady#Vulcan Law: Ok#Vulcan Woman: I don't wanna marry this guy#Vulcan Law: Noted. So - if you and your lover are willing to risk his life there's a chance (if he wins) that you can get out of marrying#him BUT if your husband kills your lover and still wants to marry you you DOOO have to marry him sorry you just gotta#<- this also makes it incredibly dangerous to in any way warn your legal husband that a kal-if-fee might be incoming#the element of surprise is a HUGE advantage when it comes to winning a fight to the death (which your lover can train for)#Vulcans#T'Pol#T'Pring#star trek#I don't think this is bad necessarily (as a fictional worldbuilding thing) but I wish it were explored more#It's especially interesting because it's an aspect of logical Vulcan society - it's clearly not logical but it's also clearly rooted deeply#in tradition which may mean Vulcan long ago used to have a much more extreme gender bias towards the male population#it just implies a lot that Vulcan has these old laws which are unfair towards women yet they still follow BUT women are treated as equal#citizens OUTSIDE of marriage! Maybe there was a feminist movement before? Is there another brewing? Where are the Vulcan feminists!
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jim, when he finally understood spock’s reasoning in menagerie, part 2: spock! you could’ve just told me! (and i would’ve broke the rules for you)
spock, as noble and kind as he is: and make you face the death penalty too? no… one of us is enough
#ABSOLUTELY DEVASTATING#spock loves this man so damn much#and also the whole ‘no need to insult me sir i acted completely logical’ like… WHERE?#logical in the part where you wanted to make your previois captain happy so much you broke the rules for him submitting yourself to the#death penalty charge only for the possibily that your old captain will accept your offer and will become happy once again?#WHERES LOGIC IN THERE SPOCK#spock#star trek#spirk#or logical in the part where you know you could’ve had kirk’s support in breaking the rules but that way he would’ve faced death penalty too#but you cannot possibly endagner this man for you even at his on will?#yeah spock.#completely and utterly logical
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(another unfinished post i found on the way to glasgow - that was the longest train ride in my life - I'm sorry in advance)
When Ice finally passes away, at the age of 73, in his sleep, Bradley moves Mav into their house the same day.
He gets the call in the morning, while trying to simultaneously cook Jake's breakfast and try to make their daughter put on a rain jacket. It's not Mav, but someone from the hospital. Jake doesn't know this — Bradley's face twitches only for a second and then he's back to the nagging, relaxing tone and telling their daughter it's raining and it won't stop. Jake only finds out when he comes back home from the school drop-off and Mav is already there on their couch. Jake doesn't even get the full explanation until that night, just a quick, "Ice passed away overnight."
There's only their three youngest living with them at the time — their 18-year-old daughter who attends UC San Diego, and their 15-year-old son who is still in high school, and their 7-year-old daughter — so Mav takes one of the vacant bedrooms.
The first few nights, Bradley sleeps in the same bed with him. Neither of them looks like they get much sleep. They don't really eat, either, just drink coffee and nibble on the crackers.
The kids start coming back home, and their oldest helps Jake arrange most of the things for the funeral, at least for the first few days. Mav is... numb, not really there, and Jake understands — he would, too, if he woke up one day and his husband died in his sleep next to him. Bradley is silent, mostly, the way he usually rambles to fill out the silence, the way he hums, the way he sings at any given time when there are no words spoken, it's all gone and Jake doesn't know how to fill out the silence either, how to ask, how to make it better without asking.
Bradley doesn't cry, or at least not the way he knows Mav does — he can see Mav's red eyes every morning — but there's something empty in his gaze, in the way his eyes follow Mav and in the way he melts whenever Mav is around, always close, always brushing against him. Mav spaces out a lot, doesn't talk much, doesn't—well, doesn't do much. Every time he tries to help with something, paperwork, the funeral arrangements, the hospital bills, even just sorting out the kids' school leave or Jake's own work leave, he fumbles a bit, not really able to focus on anything for long, and it's like his mind is completely scrambled. Jake doesn't know how to help him — doesn't know if they even can.
The kids, well, did not take it well, as expected. The oldest two try to be brave and help Jake with everything, keep the house going, but their youngest daughter doesn't really understand why her pops isn't back, the middle kids don't understand why now — Ice was in remission, in good health, would go hiking with them once a month, play with them in the backyard, talking about plans for the future with them, nothing that would tell them to expect their pops passing away. Mav and Ice had taken care of all of them for years, while Jake and Bradley were still deployable, and helping out as much as they could. Ice was a huge part of their lives, since the very beginning.
Bradley is certainly not doing any better but one couldn't be able to tell if they didn't know him well enough. He's always been more for packing his feelings into a tight neat box, compartmentalizing until there is too much and it all overflows in some explosive way. His focus is mostly on Mav and the kids, trusting Jake to take care of anything he can't.
Jake can't even ask him how he's doing until the night before the funeral.
Mav tells Bradley he wants to be alone that night and Bradley lands in their bedroom.
He acts normal — checks the kids are in bed, checks on Mav, prepares stuff for breakfast in the morning, has a shower. Only when he sits down in their bed, their dress blues, cleaned and pressed sitting on the hangers hooked up on their wardrobe, right in front of him—only then he freezes, a blank stare still on the uniforms.
Jake sits down next to him on the bed. "Talk to me, Bradley."
"I knew it was going to happen at some point, I just," "I just thought we would have a few more years."
Bradley sleeps curled up on his chest — he sleeps the whole night, soundlessly, and Jake is almost settled.
Almost. Mav is a couple doors down, alone.
Ice's been—had been retired many years now, but he had been high enough in the ranks that the Navy still insists on making a military funeral. Jake tried to take away as much of the flashy bullshit as possible, but there are still things leftover — the sailors with the flag, the flyover. But there's no one who wasn't close with the family at the ceremony, there's no speeches, and no one tries to hand either Mav or Bradley a flag.
The wake has an even smaller amount of people, all packed in their house — Mav hasn't been at his own house since — and thanks to Slider, mostly, and his 'the bastard wouldn't want us to mope around', it's less sad and quiet.
Mav eats two slices of cake, which is the most Jake's seen him eat since, and even laughs at some stories about Ice people are exchanging.
Ice had a good life. A big family. A big happy family that loved him.
But life goes on without him. Jake goes back to work first, then the kids have to go back to school, then Bradley has to back to work. After a couple of days alone at their house, Mav starts bringing up moving back to his own house.
He's not really doing great. He's still quiet, still spaces out more often than not, still forgets himself sometimes, still freezes whenever he tries to say something and the we he uses is one person short. He's—lifeless, for a lack of better word, and seems like he's noticing it now that Bradley isn't with him most of the waking hours.
"That is our home," Mav tells them. "I can't abandon it forever, I'd be abandoning him, too, if I—"
Jake—Jake gets it. He doesn't like it, but he gets it.
Bradley's been fielding off any suggestions of Mav moving out but he's pretty sure that soon Mav is going to pack his stuff and up and leave without asking for permission.
"If he wants to move back home, we can't exactly hold him here. against his will."
"Jake," Bradley says. "I feel like—if we let Mav go back there alone, he's going to die of a broken heart and I won't have either of them anymore."
"Sweetheart—"
"I know it's selfish," he interrupts, "but I can't lose him, too. Not now."
Jake can't make Mav stay with them — so he finds the best solution he can and instead, they all move in with Mav. Hell with it, he's going to try to get everyone to live their lives to the end. They'd done it before, Mav, Ice, Bradley, Jake and their two kids under one roof, when their oldest two were their only two kids.
The two of them and two of their youngest; two of their kids move into their house so they don't have to sell it.
Mav lives on. They try to occupy his mind by throwing their youngest at him — ask him to take her to school, pick her up from school, take her to her gymnastics class, do her homework with her, teach her how to play piano. The other kids pick up on it, too, and their high schoolers would wrap Mav into doing math workbooks with them, or ask him to drive them to their friends' house, and the kids that have moved out ask Mav to go to lunch together or call him to ask him things about car and house repairs that don't exist.
Mav gets brighter every day. Never as bright as before, but no longer so numb.
Their daughter ends up never moving out and so do they.
They all get older but Mav holds up pretty well. He does break his hip when trying to wash the windows, had a limp and terrible back ache ever since, had to stop driving because he can't see shit, had to stop piloting even sooner, and his memory is also shit, but Jake is pretty sure his cholesterol is lower than his own and he has better blood pressure than Bradley. Bradley and Mav are the ones cooking after all, Jake is the one eating all the tasty but not healthiest food, and Mav's life revolves around spoiling his cute great-grandkids and Bradley's is filled with the constant stress of managing Navy's top flying school.
For his ninetieth birthday, Mav flies a fighter jet as a passenger, the oldest person to ever do that — his youngest granddaughter is the one to take him up in the air, a junior grade lieutenant herself. They have a birthday party held at their house, Mav falls asleep in the armchair, Bradley makes fun of him and promptly falls asleep on the couch, too. Jake loves them both so much and still kind of can't believe he has this — house full of grown-up kids and grandkids of his own, his graying husband of over thirty years, his father-in-law coming to an age he wanted to see his mother at.
They're cleaning up, their two daughters who still don't have kids and didn't need to go home helping, and Mav tells them he's going to get some fresh air on their veranda. "I've got a terrible headache," is all he says.
Half an hour passes, they've packed all the clean and dirty dishes, and Bradley huffs to himself. "He fell asleep on the bench again, didn't he," and goes outside.
Bradley shouts for him in less than a minute. The ambulance is there in eight. Within the half-hour and a CT scan in the hospital, the neurologist tells them Mav is too far gone to survive the day. Within six hours, every single person from their family has come to say goodbye. When they pass the seven hours mark, Jake stands up from the plastic chair behind Bradley — he's not about to tell Bradley he should rest, but he's been holding Mav's hand since the minute they admitted Mav to the ward and hasn't eaten or drunk anything all day. He tells him he'll go grab them a coffee and bagels and gets a little nod and a smile.
Jake comes back twenty minutes later and Bradley doesn't even look up from where he's gripping Mav's hand.
"Can you get the nurse for me?"
#this isn't really about Ice's death or Mav's death#but more about getting old in a family#sorry in advance#dunno if this made sense#idk felt some way when i wrote it#my nan had a stroke around that time and as a person who works mainly with critical stroke patients it hit hard#i didn't get into detail here but stroke patient at the end of their lives are very emotional sight for relatives#icemav#hangster#angst#pete maverick mitchell#tom iceman kazansky#bradley rooster bradshaw#jake hangman seresin#tgm#charlie writes#op
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On Sampo's name (ALL of his names!)
I feel like everyone who's a fan knows the meaning of Sampo's full name by now- the sampo was a legendary item that could magically make endless supplies of gold, flour, and salt, all priceless items at the time! So it works perfectly for a scammer businessman like Sampo. ☆
"Koski" is the Finnish word for "water rapids" which might seem kinda random but actually makes sense for him, since Aha and the Masked Fools are also referred to with water terms:
This kind of analogy isn't specific to only Aha and the Masked Fools, but it does still tie them together. So water rapids fits perfectly! Sampo wants to stir the pot! He likes to shake things around and spice things up! He's taking that stagnant pool and turning it into water rapids! It would actually explain his ridiculous hair color, too; a dark blue wave tipped with white foam haha
EDIT: an amazing contribution from @ricochetlovebombs, who heard it from hoyolab user Rattaboy. If you interpret his first and last name together, instead of separately like I did, you would get something like "money river."
In other words, Sampo's name literally means CASH FLOW SKXJMDMDMD
What I really wanted to talk about is his drag alias name, though, Brughel Poisson, because to me that's where it gets really interesting.
So like in the English version, Sampo goes by Brughel Poisson when he's in disguise. Searching for just "Brughel" itself doesn't seem to get you much at first: a Flemish and Dutch Renaissance painter named Pieter Brueghel the Elder, who was famous for his landscapes and peasant scenery, especially Hunters in the Snow and The Blue Cloak.
He's referred to as "the Elder" because he had a son also named Pieter Brueghel (the Younger), and he began a long line of painters, all named Brueghel. Some of them did original work, and many of them created reproductions of the Elder's art to sell. The Elder was also famous as a printmaker. All of this is hilarious when you remember that Sampo is an infamous counterfeiter and has sold a relic called the Parallel Universe Printer JSKZJSMD
There is also something called Brueghel's Syndrome, named after one of Brueghel's paintings called De Gaper, which pictured a man yawning widely. It's a condition that causes the mouth to open and gape uncontrollably, twisting a person's countenance into a distorted mask of their usual face.
Tumblr doesn't have a way of censoring pics like twitter, so for the sake of the medically squeamish, I'm just showing De Gaper here. But if you look up Brueghel's Syndrome, you can find pictures of actual patients, some of whom really do make faces resembling Aha's comedy and tragedy masks!
In the Chinese and Japanese versions, his alias last name is a lot more silly- In those, "Sampo" is phonetically written as "san-bo" and "san-po." And in disguise, his last names are phonetically written as... "Bo-san" and "Po-san." The Chinese version uses different tones, but still. This smug asshole seriously just decided to write his own name backwards and called it a day NDMKXMDMD
In the English version, Poisson itself is kind of a reused Hoyo asset- it's also the name of Navia's fishing village in Genshin Impact. Which is a really silly name for a village, because it literally just means "fish" in French smzjxkdkdk but!
Again, more water imagery. And in English, if something is suspicious, we say that it's "fishy," which is perhaps the most fitting association yet for someone as shady as Sampo ☆
And for a good while I thought that was the only connection. But then. My beloved @hydrachea, who is an actual native French speaker, dropped this on me right after April Fool's Day:
Poisson is literally the word you use to pull an April Fool's prank.
#honkai star rail#sampo koski#brughel poisson#hsr sampo#hsr sampo koski#hsr#I feel like I should note that all the info on the CN/JP versions are things I know secondhand#it was posted in a server where there ARE actual people who can read/speak Chinese and Japanese and no one corrected it-#-so I'm assuming it's at least decently legit. but if it's in any way incorrect I would love to hear from others!#I'm especially interested in CN since it's the original. and I've never heard anything about 'Brughel' in any other languages.#so anyone else with fun tidbits about Sampo's name in LITERALLY ANY LANGUAGE please feel free to reblog/tag/askbox me that shit#I love learning stuff like that it's so fun ♡#fun story in the old myth the sampo was lost in the sea. and in genshin impact the village Poisson was flooded by the sea.#not only that but Brueghel's last painting- which was unfinished due to his early death- was titled The Storm at Sea.#something something foreshadowing-
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Vincent Price and Jane Asher //
The Masque of The Red Death (1964) dir. Roger Corman
#vincent price#jane asher#the masque of the red death#masque of the red death#roger corman#edgar allan poe#omg#the way his jaw clenches#fuckkk#i want him to throw me against the wall and fuck me up#what#hes so hot#so sexy#got damn#sir?#horror#bicon#old horror movies#vintage#movie#actor#handsome#gif#gifs made by me#gif set#classic horror
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