#but more about getting old in a family
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(another unfinished post i found on the way to glasgow - that was the longest train ride in my life - I'm sorry in advance)
When Ice finally passes away, at the age of 73, in his sleep, Bradley moves Mav into their house the same day.
He gets the call in the morning, while trying to simultaneously cook Jake's breakfast and try to make their daughter put on a rain jacket. It's not Mav, but someone from the hospital. Jake doesn't know this — Bradley's face twitches only for a second and then he's back to the nagging, relaxing tone and telling their daughter it's raining and it won't stop. Jake only finds out when he comes back home from the school drop-off and Mav is already there on their couch. Jake doesn't even get the full explanation until that night, just a quick, "Ice passed away overnight."
There's only their three youngest living with them at the time — their 18-year-old daughter who attends UC San Diego, and their 15-year-old son who is still in high school, and their 7-year-old daughter — so Mav takes one of the vacant bedrooms.
The first few nights, Bradley sleeps in the same bed with him. Neither of them looks like they get much sleep. They don't really eat, either, just drink coffee and nibble on the crackers.
The kids start coming back home, and their oldest helps Jake arrange most of the things for the funeral, at least for the first few days. Mav is... numb, not really there, and Jake understands — he would, too, if he woke up one day and his husband died in his sleep next to him. Bradley is silent, mostly, the way he usually rambles to fill out the silence, the way he hums, the way he sings at any given time when there are no words spoken, it's all gone and Jake doesn't know how to fill out the silence either, how to ask, how to make it better without asking.
Bradley doesn't cry, or at least not the way he knows Mav does — he can see Mav's red eyes every morning — but there's something empty in his gaze, in the way his eyes follow Mav and in the way he melts whenever Mav is around, always close, always brushing against him. Mav spaces out a lot, doesn't talk much, doesn't—well, doesn't do much. Every time he tries to help with something, paperwork, the funeral arrangements, the hospital bills, even just sorting out the kids' school leave or Jake's own work leave, he fumbles a bit, not really able to focus on anything for long, and it's like his mind is completely scrambled. Jake doesn't know how to help him — doesn't know if they even can.
The kids, well, did not take it well, as expected. The oldest two try to be brave and help Jake with everything, keep the house going, but their youngest daughter doesn't really understand why her pops isn't back, the middle kids don't understand why now — Ice was in remission, in good health, would go hiking with them once a month, play with them in the backyard, talking about plans for the future with them, nothing that would tell them to expect their pops passing away. Mav and Ice had taken care of all of them for years, while Jake and Bradley were still deployable, and helping out as much as they could. Ice was a huge part of their lives, since the very beginning.
Bradley is certainly not doing any better but one couldn't be able to tell if they didn't know him well enough. He's always been more for packing his feelings into a tight neat box, compartmentalizing until there is too much and it all overflows in some explosive way. His focus is mostly on Mav and the kids, trusting Jake to take care of anything he can't.
Jake can't even ask him how he's doing until the night before the funeral.
Mav tells Bradley he wants to be alone that night and Bradley lands in their bedroom.
He acts normal — checks the kids are in bed, checks on Mav, prepares stuff for breakfast in the morning, has a shower. Only when he sits down in their bed, their dress blues, cleaned and pressed sitting on the hangers hooked up on their wardrobe, right in front of him—only then he freezes, a blank stare still on the uniforms.
Jake sits down next to him on the bed. "Talk to me, Bradley."
"I knew it was going to happen at some point, I just," "I just thought we would have a few more years."
Bradley sleeps curled up on his chest — he sleeps the whole night, soundlessly, and Jake is almost settled.
Almost. Mav is a couple doors down, alone.
Ice's been—had been retired many years now, but he had been high enough in the ranks that the Navy still insists on making a military funeral. Jake tried to take away as much of the flashy bullshit as possible, but there are still things leftover — the sailors with the flag, the flyover. But there's no one who wasn't close with the family at the ceremony, there's no speeches, and no one tries to hand either Mav or Bradley a flag.
The wake has an even smaller amount of people, all packed in their house — Mav hasn't been at his own house since — and thanks to Slider, mostly, and his 'the bastard wouldn't want us to mope around', it's less sad and quiet.
Mav eats two slices of cake, which is the most Jake's seen him eat since, and even laughs at some stories about Ice people are exchanging.
Ice had a good life. A big family. A big happy family that loved him.
But life goes on without him. Jake goes back to work first, then the kids have to go back to school, then Bradley has to back to work. After a couple of days alone at their house, Mav starts bringing up moving back to his own house.
He's not really doing great. He's still quiet, still spaces out more often than not, still forgets himself sometimes, still freezes whenever he tries to say something and the we he uses is one person short. He's—lifeless, for a lack of better word, and seems like he's noticing it now that Bradley isn't with him most of the waking hours.
"That is our home," Mav tells them. "I can't abandon it forever, I'd be abandoning him, too, if I—"
Jake—Jake gets it. He doesn't like it, but he gets it.
Bradley's been fielding off any suggestions of Mav moving out but he's pretty sure that soon Mav is going to pack his stuff and up and leave without asking for permission.
"If he wants to move back home, we can't exactly hold him here. against his will."
"Jake," Bradley says. "I feel like—if we let Mav go back there alone, he's going to die of a broken heart and I won't have either of them anymore."
"Sweetheart—"
"I know it's selfish," he interrupts, "but I can't lose him, too. Not now."
Jake can't make Mav stay with them — so he finds the best solution he can and instead, they all move in with Mav. Hell with it, he's going to try to get everyone to live their lives to the end. They'd done it before, Mav, Ice, Bradley, Jake and their two kids under one roof, when their oldest two were their only two kids.
The two of them and two of their youngest; two of their kids move into their house so they don't have to sell it.
Mav lives on. They try to occupy his mind by throwing their youngest at him — ask him to take her to school, pick her up from school, take her to her gymnastics class, do her homework with her, teach her how to play piano. The other kids pick up on it, too, and their high schoolers would wrap Mav into doing math workbooks with them, or ask him to drive them to their friends' house, and the kids that have moved out ask Mav to go to lunch together or call him to ask him things about car and house repairs that don't exist.
Mav gets brighter every day. Never as bright as before, but no longer so numb.
Their daughter ends up never moving out and so do they.
They all get older but Mav holds up pretty well. He does break his hip when trying to wash the windows, had a limp and terrible back ache ever since, had to stop driving because he can't see shit, had to stop piloting even sooner, and his memory is also shit, but Jake is pretty sure his cholesterol is lower than his own and he has better blood pressure than Bradley. Bradley and Mav are the ones cooking after all, Jake is the one eating all the tasty but not healthiest food, and Mav's life revolves around spoiling his cute great-grandkids and Bradley's is filled with the constant stress of managing Navy's top flying school.
For his ninetieth birthday, Mav flies a fighter jet as a passenger, the oldest person to ever do that — his youngest granddaughter is the one to take him up in the air, a junior grade lieutenant herself. They have a birthday party held at their house, Mav falls asleep in the armchair, Bradley makes fun of him and promptly falls asleep on the couch, too. Jake loves them both so much and still kind of can't believe he has this — house full of grown-up kids and grandkids of his own, his graying husband of over thirty years, his father-in-law coming to an age he wanted to see his mother at.
They're cleaning up, their two daughters who still don't have kids and didn't need to go home helping, and Mav tells them he's going to get some fresh air on their veranda. "I've got a terrible headache," is all he says.
Half an hour passes, they've packed all the clean and dirty dishes, and Bradley huffs to himself. "He fell asleep on the bench again, didn't he," and goes outside.
Bradley shouts for him in less than a minute. The ambulance is there in eight. Within the half-hour and a CT scan in the hospital, the neurologist tells them Mav is too far gone to survive the day. Within six hours, every single person from their family has come to say goodbye. When they pass the seven hours mark, Jake stands up from the plastic chair behind Bradley — he's not about to tell Bradley he should rest, but he's been holding Mav's hand since the minute they admitted Mav to the ward and hasn't eaten or drunk anything all day. He tells him he'll go grab them a coffee and bagels and gets a little nod and a smile.
Jake comes back twenty minutes later and Bradley doesn't even look up from where he's gripping Mav's hand.
"Can you get the nurse for me?"
#this isn't really about Ice's death or Mav's death#but more about getting old in a family#sorry in advance#dunno if this made sense#idk felt some way when i wrote it#my nan had a stroke around that time and as a person who works mainly with critical stroke patients it hit hard#i didn't get into detail here but stroke patient at the end of their lives are very emotional sight for relatives#icemav#hangster#angst#pete maverick mitchell#tom iceman kazansky#bradley rooster bradshaw#jake hangman seresin#tgm#charlie writes#op
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Council of lovefools.
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#wei wuxian#jiang yanli#jiang cheng#They don't have an actual sleepover in this scene but the vibes were so sleepover coded...I had to get them cozied up.#Late night talks with friends and family are some of the best conversations.#My siblings and I used to have room sleepovers with each other (Actually an excuse to stay up and talk about runescape)#Currently my flatmates and I also have really great heart to hearts late into the night.#Pondering shit like 'What defines confidence?“ and ”Why are people terrified of letting themselves fall in love?"#All that aside; There is a really great conversation between JC and WWX here. They are so close and yet so far way from each other!#Fundamentally they *agree* about many things - but JC now has to play the role of someone more 'mature'.#His temper is reigned in and he had to take a more nuanced approach. Whereas WWX can be far more reactionary.#JC has changed to become someone more mature (or at least he is trying).#Contrast this attitude with the scene *right* after where WWX literally goes baby mode with JYL. Rolling around going “I'm Fwee years old”.#When children are hurt we comfort them with hugs and warm food and a laugh. It's not enough when you're an adult. It's not simple anymore.#WWX is stuck in the past when everyone else is shifting and moving on! It's a depression allegory (and just...actual depression)#But we also get to see how some things have stayed the same. They still bicker about soup. They still tease. They are still together.#They all care for each other very much but they are struggling against trauma and are not equipped to talk about it.#You can't really blame WWX for being so protective over JYL. But JC is right: “You don't have a say in who she likes.”#It may have started as an arranged marriage but *she* is *choosing* what her heart wants. JC sees that. WWX cannot.#The final act of love is letting go after all.
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A few sketches of these guys :]
#I love them. your honor#Ok. but really. I love both sets of Pines twins and all that. but I also adore the little family Stan managed to scrounge up over the years#Becoming the father figure that Soos needed after never really seeing his father for years- so much that Soos can't remember his appearance#And even tho' we didn't nearly get as many moments between Stan and Wendy (scrapped heist-training montage B-plot you'll always be famous)#there's little moments here and there that shows she cares about the old guy too. and vice versa.#Tldr; Soos and Wendy are Stan's kids and no one can change my mind /hj#Also. I wish we could've gotten more of Melody. especially with Soos. They're so gd cute together istg orz#my art#Stanley Pines#Wendy Corduroy#Melody Gravity Falls#Soos Ramirez#Gravity Falls#Gravity Falls Fanart
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You ever think about how neither of them got to say goodbye?
#TSAMS#Sun and Moon Show#The Sun and Moon Show#TSAMS Lunar#SAMS Lunar#Sun#SAMS Sun#FNAF Sun#FNAF#Five Nights At Freddy's#MeaganCanDraw#I love New Moon a lot don't get me wrong but Old Moon's and Sun's relationship wasn't black and white (as much as NM wants to insist it was#YES Old Moon treated Sun horribly YES he wasn't the best person but#their relationship was also complicated and messy and they both genuinely loved each other despite everything#So much of what they did was for each other and that adds even more to the tragedy of their relationship and Moon's death#Sun and Old Moon's final conversation was them fighting#Moon's final in-person words to him were “I love you and I'm sorry”#to which Sun didn't say anything bc he was mad at him (which I don't blame him for given everything that happened in that episode)#Do you think Sun has realized this? How often does he go back to that moment#How often has he imagined himself saying or doing something different? Something that would've resulted in them leaving that bunker togethe#Meanwhile Lunar lost the person who gave him a new life and a family that actually cares about him#And he was in Moon's head for months and saw first hand how much his regrets and trauma affected him#Both of which would eventually destroy him due to the cycle of self-loathing he was trapped in#How much does HE think about that?#Anyway sorry for not posting for nearly (checks watch) two years??#It'll likely happen again#1k
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Anything
Trigger warning: discussions of death. Not a main character, but it does happen. Lots of angst. Lots of hurt/comfort. I’ll post it in the tags as well.
Steve has a problem.
It’s not a big problem, not really, but his brain won’t let it go and is making it a bigger deal than it really is.
Eddie won’t ride in his car alone.
With the kids, sure; he’ll practically dive into the backseat, noogie Dustin, generally make a nuisance of himself.
But if it’s just the two of them? If Steve insists on driving, Eddie will take his van. There’s no problem if Steve wants to ride with Eddie. But the other way around? Eddie riding with Steve? That doesn’t happen. And Steve has no idea why.
“Talk to him, Dingus,” is Robin’s advice. He’d flip her off, but unfortunately he thinks she’s right: this is something they’re gonna have to talk through.
So Steve pulls on his big-boy pants and marches himself to the Munsons’ trailer, knocking on the door and waiting expectantly.
He doesn’t expect Wayne, but maybe he should’ve, because that’s who answers the door. “Hi, Steve. You’re here for Eddie, I bet, he’ll be in his room.” He moves aside to let Steve in, and Steve thanks him after a second before moving down the hall to Eddie’s room.
He hears him before he sees him; or, more accurately, he hears his guitar. He’s playing the acoustic tonight, instead of his usual sweetheart, so Steve knocks instead of walking in like he’d usually do.
The guitar stops, and Steve hears it being put down, hears a heavy sigh. “Wayne, I’m not really in the- oh.” He opens the door as he speaks and blinks at Steve. After a second, he smiles. “Hey, man, c’mon in.”
Steve blinks. “Uh. Are you okay?”
Eddie purses his lips. “Define okay. I’m not currently being eaten by bats, y’know? But playing the acoustic always reminds me of my Ma.”
“Ah.” Steve shifts. “Sorry, man. Maybe I should come back later.”
Eddie shrugs. “You’re here now, aren’t you? I can’t be that terrible company.”
Steve snorts. “No, I just… I had a question, but it can wait.”
Eddie tilts his head. “You do that a lot, y’know?” He turns, sits on his bed. Motions Steve into his room.
Steve sits next to him, more comfortable here than in his own room. “Do what?”
“Put yourself last.” He shrugs. “You can ask me. If I don’t wanna answer, I won’t.”
Steve scrunches his nose. “Okay, fine. Why won’t you ride in my car?”
Eddie frowns. “I do, though? Hell, I did what, two days ago? You, me and Dustin went to that comic store in Indy.”
“Okay, let me rephrase. Why won’t you ride passenger in my car, alone? Without any of the kids? And even two days ago you were in the backseat with Dustin.” He shrugs. “It’s not a big deal, I’m just curious.”
Eddie takes a breath. “No, it’s- yeah. You should know.” He clears his throat, grabs the acoustic again. Plays a riff of some sort, fingers dancing over the frets. “I think I feel like I have to save everyone. Or at least be in a position where I can save them, if the need arises.” He swallows, takes another breath. His fingers still. They tremble over the strings. “Did I ever tell you how my ma died?”
Now it’s Steve’s turn to inhale sharply. He shakes his head. “We can stop,” he says. “You don’t have to tell me.”
Eddie smiles ruefully. “I do, though.” He shakes his head. “I was… I was six. It was three days before my seventh birthday. We were driving home from the city. Ma was drivin’, an’ she let me sit in the front seat, since it was almost my birthday. Or- that’s what she said. I think it was so we couldn’t stop her. Couldn’t save her.” He swallows. His eyes are glassy. His accent is thick, the way it gets when he’s thinking about her, or when he’s emotional. His left hand grips the neck of the guitar tightly. Steve worries for his fingers. “We weren’t goin’ that fast, even, but forty’s enough when-” he shakes his head, looks away. Coughs out something that wanted to be a sob. Steve takes the guitar, takes Eddie’s hand. Puts the guitar down. Doesn’t let go of Eddie. “She unbuckled her belt. Dad didn’t see it. I did. Didn’t say anythin’. Maybe I should’ve, I dunno.” He squeezes Steve’s hand. “Then it all happened so fast… she smiled at me, an’ opened her door, an’ next thing I knew-” he wipes at tears on his cheeks. “D’you know what happens to a human head under the wheel of a car at forty miles an hour?”
Steve gasps, grips Eddie’s hand just as tightly. Pulls Eddie in when he begins to shake. “An’ I know why, now,” he whispers. “Dad weren’t good to her. I’unno what he done t’her. I know she did what she could. But I was there. I was right there.” He sniffles, trembles with the effort of keeping his sobs in. Somehow succeeds. “So that’s why. Figure if a kid were to try… I could stop ‘em. Figure if you were to try…”
“You could stop me.” Steve holds him tight. “I won’t,” he whispers. “I swear to you, I won’t.”
“I know,” Eddie whispers back. “But I gotta be able to try.”
“Christ, Eds,” Steve whispers. “I was gonna ask if you’re okay but that’s a stupid question.”
Eddie giggles, still teary-eyed. “Just a little bit.”
Steve pulls away to look him in the eye. “I’m staying tonight, okay? Nightmares are always worse after something like this.”
“Then you should go home,” Eddie argues. “Sleep while you can.”
“Nightmares are always easier with someone else.”
“Damn you, that’s true.” They both laugh a little.
Just then, Wayne comes in with two steaming mugs. “Listen to your boy, son,” he says to Eddie, handing over one of the mugs. He gives Steve the other with a wink. “Lavender tea with a shit ton of honey. Learned it from my ma.”
“Not my boy, Wayne,” Eddie grumbles, but thanks him for the tea anyways.
Steve thanks him too, and he winks again before leaving. Eddie rolls his eyes. “I’d apologize for him, but you’d just defend him.”
“Hey, I like Wayne.”
“I know. Sometimes I think you like him more than you like me.”
Steve chuckles. “Never. You’re my favorite.” He moves so they’re sitting shoulder to shoulder, drinking their tea, leaning against each other. It’s peaceful, and soon enough Eddie’s yawning and dropping his head onto Steve’s shoulder. “Imma pass out soon.”
“Then let’s get you up to brush your teeth before you do.”
Eddie groans like the toddler he secretly is. “I don’t wanna.”
“Yeah, and you don’t wanna go to the dentist to get teeth pulled, either, now do you?”
“Shuddup.”
“Wow. Real master of words here. Really feeling that Dungeon Master power.”
Eddie thumps his arm, but snickers, and really that’s what Steve was going for in the first place, so he just smiles and leads Eddie to the bathroom.
Soon enough they’re in bed, tucked in next to each other, not quite packed like sardines and it’s only because of the heat outside that Steve isn’t more upset not to have more of a reason to touch Eddie. “Night, Eds,” he murmurs, smiling when Eddie rolls over to face him and is temporarily blinded by his own hair. Steve helps move his hair, grabs at Eddie’s hand when he’s done. “Wake me up if the nightmare doesn’t, okay?”
“C’mon, Steve, I can deal with them-”
“I know you can,” Steve answers. “But I want to be up if you are. I want to help if I can. Please, Eddie?”
Eddie sighs after a second. “Damn you,” he says, “I can’t say no to you.” He’s smiling, despite his words, so Steve smiles back.
“Thank you.”
“G’night, Stevie.”
“Night, Eds.”
Steve wakes up to Eddie crying out in his sleep. Even with his eyes closed, he’s got tears streaming down his cheeks. Steve sits up, turns on the lamp, and puts a hand on Eddie’s shoulder. “Eddie?”
He rolls over, away from Steve, and continues sobbing. “Eds? Are you awake?” No answer, so Steve puts his hand back on Eddie’s shoulder and shakes a little. “Eddie, wake up!”
He’s up with an aborted yell and a flail of limbs, sitting up and staring into the darkness of his room, trembling. He sniffs and turns to face Steve, finally realizing he’s there, and Steve opens his arms for a hug.
He collapses into Steve’s arms, face mashed into the side of Steve’s neck, arms snaking around Steve’s torso to give an ineffectual tug. Steve takes the hint and inches closer until they’re practically hip-to-hip. “Y’wanna talk about it?” He asks. Eddie sniffs and shakes his head. “Y’want me to talk? To distract you?” Eddie nods. “Okay. Uh… I may have bitten myself in the butt with this one, ‘cause I’m not a great storyteller, not like you are, but did you know we actually met in middle school?”
No answer. “We did. Hawkins Middle was putting on its annual talent show. Now, back then, I was nobody. No one knew me, my name, my parents… nothing. I had one friend named Tommy, who I’d grown up with. Of course, you know him, and you know what happened between us, but he was my only friend back then. I didn’t tell anyone, but I signed up for the talent show. I didn’t even know what I wanted to do, I just knew I wanted to do something. I’ve always had a pretty decent voice, so I figured I could just sing, if I couldn’t figure out anything else to do. Knew I’d at least beat out Tammy Thompson.” He shifts so Eddie’s hair is no longer a choking hazard and pets his hand over Eddie’s head, doing his best to tame the wild curls. “So it’s the night of the talent show, right? And it feels like the whole school is there. I’m sitting backstage, peeking through the curtains, and am about to have my very first panic attack. Someone bumps into me and knocks me over. They tell me to watch where I’m going, even though I wasn’t moving. So now I’m on the ground, thinking about the crowd, and the noise is getting to be too much, and someone grabs my hand and it all… stops. Just like that. It’s silent, other than, like, a ringing sound in my ears. And this boy, the one who grabbed my hand, kneels in front of me, puts my hand on his chest-” Steve demonstrates, moving so he can grab Eddie’s hand and put it on his chest, just over his heart. “-and tells me to breathe with him. In, out. In, out. He raised his hand when we breathed in, and lowered it when we breathed out. In, out. In, out. And when my breathing’s calmed down, he tells me to name five things I can see. And you know what I said first?”
Eddie furrows his brows. “My… my hair?”
“Yup,” Steve nods. “But you’d just had it shaved off, so d’you know what I really saw first?”
“What?”
Steve giggles. “Your ears.”
Eddie groans and ducks his head, pressing his forehead into Steve’s chest. “Hated my ears.”
“I’m gonna say something that’s gonna sound mean, but is actually a compliment,” Steve warns him. “Your ears reminded me of Dumbo. I always loved that movie, the reminder that we don’t have to change who we are in order to be loved. That sometimes the things we hate most about ourselves, the things people tease us about the most, are actually the things that help us most, in the end.” He guides Eddie to lay down. “And I’m not saying your ears are what saved you. But I am saying they reminded me that everything, maybe, isn’t entirely hopeless.” He smiles, tucks Eddie’s hair behind his ear. Says, “I like your ears.”
Said ear burns red. “You’d be one of the few.”
“That’s okay.”
“What’s your thing? Your… ears?”
Steve hums. “Did you know I cried a lot as a kid? I was very emotional, very easily moved. My dad always hated it, so I learned to cover it up. But I think it’s what got me here in the end. I could’ve told Dustin I didn’t have time to help him, but I didn’t. I got roped into this whole mess, but it’s how I got to know him and the kids. It’s how I got to know Robin and you.”
Eddie smiles. “I’m glad you cried as a kid.”
Steve laughs. “Yeah. Me too.” He shifts, a little closer, a little more down the bed so their eyes are level. “D’you wanna talk about it?”
“There’s nothing I want less.”
“D’you think you can sleep?”
Eddie takes a breath. Steve feels the exhale over his cheek. “Maybe.”
“M’kay. Lemme know if you can’t.”
“Okay. I won’t.”
“Eddie.”
He giggles. “I’m kidding. I’ll let you know. I just… won’t stop talking at you until you answer.”
Steve hums, lets his eyes slip shut. “I’ll always answer.”
“Yeah,” Eddie says, so soft. It makes something warm unfurl in Steve’s chest. “I know you will.”
Steve reaches out, squeezes Eddie’s hand in answer. Lets sleep drag him down the way it’s wanted to since he lay back down.
He doesn’t think about the fact that their hands are still clasped.
He’s the first one up in the morning, and he’s a little annoyed by it because they’d shifted during the night, so Steve is no longer facing Eddie.
His annoyance lasts for all of two seconds before he realizes there’s a warm weight behind him and over his hip, and he figures out it’s because Eddie is behind him, arm over Steve’s hip, fingers curled against the little bit of skin visible from Steve’s shirt riding up during the night.
Steve smiles, sighs, and lets his eyes sink shut again.
He doesn’t sleep, just kind of drifts, so he feels it when Eddie wakes up. He feels him tense in a stretch, feels his forehead press against Steve’s spine, feels his fingers curl farther into Steve’s stomach.
He feels Eddie wake up fully and realize the position he’s in. Feels him hum, then stiffen, slowly pulling away. Steve aches about it, but doesn’t move until he’s out of bed completely, taking the time then to roll over as if he’d just woken up. “M’rn’n,” he mumbles, not exaggerating the sleep-rough in his voice at all.
“Mornin’,” Eddie yawns. “How’d you sleep?”
Steve hums, stretches, sits up. “Think I should be asking you that.”
Eddie smiles. “I slept fine. Now how about you?”
“No more nightmares?”
“Not at all. Think you chased ‘em all away.”
“Good.”
“Steve.”
“What?”
“How did you sleep?”
“Oh. Fine. Great.”
Eddie hums, but takes his word for it, offers his hand to help Steve up, which he accepts.
“Can I ask you something that I’m pretty sure you’re not gonna want to answer?”
Eddie grins crookedly. “You can ask me anything, Stevie. If I don’t wanna answer, I won’t.” He sits back on the bed, next to Steve. “What is it?”
“What was your dad like?”
Eddie blows out a breath, looks away. “Jesus, first thing in the morning, too. Uh… y’know how you said your dad is a grade-A asshole?”
“Yeah.”
“Yeah. Last I heard, he’s in the state prison for the next… five? Ten? Years. I dunno, don’t really keep track. Was just little things at first, petty theft, then he got an ego and started stealing cars, met a guy who could clean ‘em, and he just…” he shakes his head. “Wayne says he got too big for his britches. I say he got what was coming to him. He tried to rob someone and it… didn’t go well. He got caught, the owner tried to scare him off, swung first, but it doesn’t matter who swung first when he’s dead and my dad was trespassing, right? Tried to say it was self-defense, but…”
“But he was trespassing,” Steve nods.
“Exactly. He got twenty-five for that, and it’s been… twelve years? So I guess he’s got… thirteen left. Not five or ten. Guess it feels like he’s been gone that long.” He sighs. “I went to live with Wayne before that, though… I had a friend, he was my best friend, and my dad… really didn’t like how close we were. Spit out a couple’a slurs, said something about sending me to a camp.” Steve’s breath catches. “I called Wayne that night. Poor guy drove that night, was there by… one in the morning? Picked me up and I’ve never looked back.” He shrugs, picks at his comforter. “Turns out Dad was right about me, but Wayne’s never had an issue, so.” He shrugs. His fingers belie his nerves.
“I think, if I were to ever tell my dad,” Steve says quietly, “a camp would be the least of my issues.”
Eddie’s fingers still for a second before continuing, not fidgeting quite as quickly as before. “Yeah?”
“Mhm.”
“Then it’s a good thing you don’t have to tell him.”
“I think I do, though.”
“How so?”
“He’s got this… way. Of just proving himself right, every time. It’s why I haven’t left yet. He always finds a way to twist it around and show me I can’t make it on my own. Not on my Family Video salary.”
Eddie hums. “Maybe not on your own,” he admits. “But with a person or two? There’s Family Videos in other cities. Ask to transfer. Robin’s been making noise about heading to Indy, right?”
“I think she just wants out of Hawkins, and Indy is the only feasible place to her.”
“Very understandable. Where would you go, Steve? If you could go anywhere?”
Steve sighs. “That’s the problem, though. I can’t leave the kids.”
Eddie chuckles. “I should’ve known. Then why not find a place in between? Maybe on the edge of town?”
“We’re still both on a Family Video salary. I don’t think even combined we could afford anything.” Steve tilts his head. “You said a person or two. Who’s the other person?”
“Ah,” Eddie says. “Well, not to come between the platonic soulmates, but I’m sure Wayne would love to have his life back.”
Steve snorts. “Robin loves you almost as much as I do, Eds, of course you’re welcome.”
Eddie ignores that, for the sake of his own sanity. “Well,” he says instead. “Maybe it’s time to take a crack at those newspapers Wayne’s been hoarding.”
“Maybe it is,” Steve says, a strange sort of smile playing across his lips. “And I can ask people. You’d be surprised at the amount of gossip I hear at work.”
“Oh, I believe it, trust me. Or are you forgetting I use to hang around Sam Goody?”
“Oh, god,” Steve laughs, “I had forgotten that, yeah.” He sighs. “D’you think we would’ve been friends back then? If we’d known each other?”
“I don’t think so.” Eddie chews at his bottom lip. “Not because of you, but because of me. I was still stuck in that high school hierarchal shit, y’know? I would’ve seen you as an asshole jock even though you weren’t anymore.”
“I think I’m still working on it.”
“I think we’re all working on being who we want to be.” He stands and offers Steve a hand up with a grin. “And y’know what helps with that?”
Steve chuckles, places his hand in Eddie’s. “What’s that?”
“Pancakes,” he says decisively. “C’mon, let’s go bully Wayne into making us some.”
“And by bully, you mean ask once.”
Eddie hums. “Same difference.”
He waltzes into the living room, arms spread wide. “Sir Wayne! Our visiting prince has requested pancakes this fine morn.”
Wayne squints at him. “I’m your king, dipshit,” he says, lip quirked up in a smile as he winks at Steve. “Make your own damn pancakes.”
“Wayne!” Eddie cries. “Betrayal! Betrayal of the highest order!”
“You’ll live,” Wayne deadpans. Steve giggles.
Eddie narrows his eyes at Wayne. “Fine,” he says. “We will make our own. But there shall be no extra for you, sir!”
Following him to the kitchen, Steve says, “We’ll make extra.”
“Don’t hurt yourself,” Wayne returns, “but I’d ‘preciate it.”
In the kitchen, Eddie sighs with his head halfway in a cabinet. “Okay, so we don’t have mix.”
“That’s okay,” Steve says. “I can make them from scratch.”
“Or,” Eddie says, turning to Steve with a grin. “We can go out.”
“We could,” Steve allows. “But then Wayne wouldn’t get any.”
Eddie hops backwards onto the counter and leans forward, resting his forearms on his knees. “Y’know how I said we wouldn’t have been friends if we’d met earlier?”
“Yeah.”
“It really would’ve been entirely my fault.” He sighs. “You’re just… so nice. And it would’ve been unbelievable, for me, because the Munson Doctrine dictates that all jocks are assholes and stay jockish assholes. I think what happened… had to happen, if we were gonna be friends.”
Steve worries his lip. “Then… is it bad if I say I’m glad it happened? If only for that reason?”
“Only if I’m also glad it happened, for that reason,” Eddie responds quietly. “Y’know the only other person I’ve told about my ma is Jeff?”
“I’m…” he pauses, scrunching his nose. “I wanna say I’m honored, but that sounds weird.”
Eddie chuckles. “I know what you mean, Stevie.”
Steve nods, and they stay there for a minute, looking at each other, until Steve looks away with a sigh. “Alright,” he says, pancakes?”
Eddie gusts out a sigh. “Please.”
Steve chuckles and shoves the flour towards Eddie. “Here. Two cups.”
Eddie frowns. “Only?”
“For now. We can always make more later if we need to.”
Eddie shrugs, but nods at Steve, as if deferring to his expertise. “D’you have eggs?”
“Uh.” Eddie checks the fridge, then the cabinet. “No, but we’ve got Spam?”
Steve snorts. “That works. Wanna cut up a can and fry it?”
“Works for me.”
And so they work, side by side, until breakfast is ready and they’re all three eating side by side.
After, Wayne stretches in his seat, glances at the clock, and mutters something underneath his breath as he gets up. “Thanks for breakfast, boys. Steve, you gonna be here for dinner?”
“Uh,” Steve says, glancing at Eddie. “Unless Ed kicks me out.”
“Never,” Eddie swears.
“I’ll pick up burgers on my way back,” Wayne decides. “That work for you two?”
“Definitely,” Eddie nods.
“Sure. Thank you, Wayne.”
“Son,” Wayne starts, then shakes his head.
Steve gets the message: he belongs here. His cheeks burn. “Thanks, Wayne,” he murmurs.
Wayne ruffles his hair as he passes.
“So,” Eddie asks, once it’s just the two of them. “Any plans for the day?”
Steve makes a face. “I gotta work at two, but I’m free till then.”
Eddie snorts. “Lemme guess, you’re working alone?”
“Yeah.”
“Well not today!” Eddie says brightly. “Why don’t I come with?”
Steve blinks. “Because… why would you?”
“Cause you’re my friend, Stevie. I wanna hang out with you but I can’t do that if you’re at work and I’m here.”
Steve snickers. “I guess we can talk about moving in together. Tuesdays are always the slowest day of the week.”
“Yeah! Wayne’s got the papers around here somewhere.” He trails off, looking around, then bounds over to the TV with a triumphant, “Ha!” He reaches into the crate the TV’s sitting on and pulls out a stack of newspapers. “Okay, we don’t want anything from last year… beginning of this year might be too old…” he hesitates, looking at Steve. “Maybe since Spring Break? A lot of people moved out.”
Steve hums, moves closer. “Good point. There’s bound to be something on the edge of town.” He sighs as he sits next to Eddie. “The only problem is Robin doesn’t have a car, or even her license. And if I’m working here, and she’s trying to work in Indy, how’s she gonna get there?”
“Well,” Eddie begins, “who says you have to stay at Family Video? Why not stretch your wings out? Try something else? Indy’s a big city with lots of opportunity. How about this.” He shifts so he’s facing Steve. “If you could do anything in the world, work anywhere, what would you do? Where would you work?”
Steve fidgets with his pant leg as he thinks. “A bakery,” he decides softly.
Eddie stills for a moment. “I feel like I should’ve seen that coming. You’d be a great baker, Steve. Or if you want to just sell the baked goods, you’d be great at that, too. Hawkins is small enough we don’t have need for a bakery. Not when you can get everything you need at Melvald’s. But Indy’s big. I pass by two bakeries every time I head into the city.” He puts a hand on Steve’s knee. “Stay at Family Video for now. But when we move, you can apply to those places. Yeah?”
“Yeah,” Steve nods. He can feel his cheeks heating up, feel the excitement coursing through his body. “You really think I could?”
“Steve.” Eddie sighs. “I think you are so much better than you see. I think you can do anything.”
“I dunno about anything.” Steve ducks his head as he blushes. “But, uh. Thank you.”
Eddie smiles. “For?”
Steve looks up at him. His breath catches, for a second, at the look in Eddie’s eyes. He looks away with a shrug even as his cheeks heat up. “Believing in me, I guess.”
“Anything,” Eddie promises again.
Steve looks at him again. Really looks, even as his cheeks heat uncomfortably warm. “…Anything?”
Without looking away, Eddie grabs his hand. Rubs his thumb over Steve’s knuckles. Whispers it again.
Steve leans in and kisses him.
Eddie kisses back.
#stranger things#steve harrington#eddie munson#steddie#robin buckley#starambles#tw character death#cw character death#I’m imagining Eddie goes to Family Video with Steve that day and eventually puts on a vest another employee had left there#He does more work than Steve#Except for when the old ladies who hate Eddie on principle come in#Eddie finds out Steve can out-bitch them#He falls more in love#He does in fact have to excuse himself to the back after that. Yes they kiss about it later#I literally googled ‘human head getting run over at 40mph’ and I think the FBI agent in my phone is officially Worried#Oh well. He knows I’ve seen worse#Also in case you were wondering. I couldn’t find any concrete answers. But I got Enough#No beta we die like Eddie’s mom apparently????#(Too soon?)
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it's hell on earth to be heavenly them's the breaks, they don't come gently
#daniel ricciardo#dr3#went on a hike the sunday after the official announcement and listened to this song on repeat for probably 3 of the 8 miles#POV: me in the middle of the woods telling myself to get it together#while crying about a 35 year old millionaire before I end up passing someone on the trail and they call the police on me#so song is about how female stars are treated overtime and when they first arrive they're praised for being authentic and refreshin#but once the shine wears off and they're a little older and reveal imperfections or they struggle they become a target for ridicule#and then they're discarded for the next new thing in town and the cycle keeps repeating itself forever#which to me so closely mirrors daniel's trajectory in F1 in the eyes of the media#but also when you take the lyrics at face value they are just so daniel...#the f1 ecosystem and more specifically the redbull “family” are fake as hell#and yet daniel is one of their most genuine products who actually can't be easily reproduced (but by god they'll try)#he showed a great deal of promise despite coming from a place that really never should've produced a successful f1 driver#because the cards were stacked against him and nobody really thought he would make it#but he did and he gave us 13 brilliant years (and he has SO much more to give and do and succeed at and he will)#but the wheel of time keeps spinning and the cycle continues for the next shiny new toy that they can nurture and then destroy#anyway i'm not totally in love with these gifs but I need to be done w/them and I had to exorcise this demon that was making me sad
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finally giving fem danyal her own au and fulfilling my 'danny is an animal whisperer' agenda at the same time: mother of monsters danyal 2.0
i say "2.0" because TECHNICALLY 'mother of monsters danyal' is an au I made back in June for Dark fem!Danyal (who I promptly named Layal). However, I haven't posted much for her yet, and I like the "mother of monsters" premise too much to leave it only to Layal. Plus Danyal in that au was going to become the mother of monsters anyway, just with significantly less world domination and mass extinction.
'Animal whisperer' Danny has been something I've been thinking about since my latest DP 'wolfpack au' post and it's! So fun to think about, and who no better to assign the idea to than Danyal Al Ghul? Who comes from a family infamously known for their love of animals and nature?
Fem Danyal is just purely self-indulgent. *gestures wildly at her* i just lomvb,,, her,,,, I've only really mentioned her in context of the 'Things in Threes' au/my first Danyal al Ghul au with the facial scar, but she's!!! I love her. She deserves her own au <33
So kill three birds with one stone! Make a post about it.
Anyways, Danny has a large lair. Similar to cult leader danyal, her lair is a giant mountain region resembling nanda parbat with a big temple/palace-like area built into the mountain. It's large, it's overflowing with natural flora, with its own mini-floating islands hovering over some areas, and it's also completely empty.
Danny takes one look at her lair upon first meeting, -- noting that it looked relatively smaller from the outside -- and promptly, with the elegance of an Al Ghul, goes "What the hell??" Because yes, while she does enjoy her own solitude and privacy, this is a bit ridiculous.
For heaven's sake, there's even a massive lake in there! What's she going to do with all this space? Can she make it any smaller? Why is it so big in the first place? This looks borderline like one of the mega-islands!
She finds out later that apparently, the amount of ectoplasm a ghost has can have an effect on the size of their lair. And since she has such a large core, her lair reflects that. Wibbly-wobbly timey-wimey stuff, it's bigger on the inside so it doesn't take up "too much space" on the outside. Don't worry about it too much.
Danyal isn't totally opposed to having such a large lair, she's just... a bit baffled by it. It feels like so much wasted space is all. All this flora and no fauna to enjoy it with. It's practically eerie.
She decorates her temple-palace area, transforming rooms to match her needs as she sees fit. In the center of the inner gardens is a massive tree that she likes to climb, with twisting, winding branches. Sam and Tucker have honorary rooms, even if they can't safely leave the specter speeder for long periods of time, even with proper safety equipment. So does Jazz. Ali (Dani) has one too, but he can actually use that one, and Danny brought him to her lair so he could decorate it himself.
She has a personal garden, but for the most part she lets the flora exist as it is. Too much space to cultivate it en masse anyways.
Skip to a few weeks later, on her next visit to Clockwork. She developed a habit of going to see him semi-regularly just because. She enjoys his wisdom, and he has a lot of stories to tell, and when he's not being the cryptic and esoteric timekeeper, he's a bit goofy.
(pushing my dadwork agenda here,,, i think Danny deserves to go 'hey, Lord Clockwork, do you want me to buy you something' while she's at walmart, only to receive a singular glowing sticky note that says 'cucumber gatorade'.)
(She insists on referring to him with his proper titles even for the most mundane of things because it's proper, but Clockwork sees a future where she eventually calls him "Cee" and by all things in existence is he determined to get there. Anyways,,,)
On her next visit to Clockwork, just as she is about to leave, Clockwork stops her and goes; "Ah, I have something for you. Hold out your hands."
Danny does as such, and Clockwork doesn't give out things often, so her curiosity has spiked to the highest levels. He turns away from her for a moment, using his staff to summon whatever it is he needs, and when he turns around.
He drops a fish into her hands. Granted, a fish in a small glass tank. But a fish nonetheless. A small one, roughly about the size of her finger, with a blue-black, eel-shaped body and four sets of glowing eyes. She can see thin, almost translucent, but spiny fins down its back and the start of bioluminescent markings. It's swimming around in circles in its small container.
"Lord Clockwork." Danyal says all too calmly.
"Yes, Danyal?"
"What is this?"
"That is an adolescent leviathan, Danyal." She’s transfixed onto the tank, but she doesn’t need to see Clockwork’s face to hear the smile he’s stifling.
The myriad of emotions that runs through her all at once threatens to overwhelm her, and she can’t tell if the feelings are negative or positive. So she carefully closes her eyes to breathe in through her nose.
“Clockwork.”
“Ah, I see you’ve dropped formalities.”
She ignores that.
“Why have you given me an adolescent leviathan?”
She's expecting the trickster to look amused when she opens her eyes. Instead, he just looks endeared. "I know you're fond of animals," he says, "and you always look amazed when you come across an animal of the realms. So I thought you might enjoy taking care of the young beast, it's mother is dead so it has no one to care for it."
Oh.
"But, if you don't like it," Clockwork's hands reach out for the tank, "I can simply take it back--"
Danyal shifts the tank out from his reach and hugs it possessively. "I never said that. How do I care for it?"
And so clockwork gives her a list, and when Danyal returns to her lair, she sets up a large tank in her room for the leviathan to swim in -- it's much too small for the lake right now, she thinks. She'll feel better if it's somewhere she can find it. She names him Suhā.
Suhā grows quickly, and by the end of the mortal month she transforms one of the rooms into a large pond for him to swim around in. He's a very loyal beast, recognizing her as it's mother of some kind. Danyal takes great care ensuring that her beastie gets quality care, and Suhā swims to the surface to see her when he senses her in the room.
It spirals from there. Somehow, Pandora catches wind that Clockwork gave her a leviathan, and so the next time Danyal visits the Greater Athens, she gives her a baby chimera. It's eyes are still sealed shut, Danyal can't bring herself to say no. She names the little beastie Firas.
Frostbite hears about it too, and not to be outdone, gives her an animal she's never even heard of. Infinite-realms born, apparently. A fox-like creature with two small horns like an impala, four eyes, and tall legs. The name isn't something she's quite sure how to write down, and she's positive that her friends won't be able to comprehend it. She names her Eira.
Getting the three of them used to each other was... interesting. Suhā tried to eat Firas when Danyal first introduced the two, and they've hated each other ever since. Firas and Eira are seemingly getting along. Her island already feels full enough with the three of them on it.
Of course, that's not the end of it. With her luck, she begins stumbling across other monsters. Realms-borne or otherwise. An injured hydra in the Grecian islands that, through lots of trial and error, Danyal is able to rehabilitate and heal. It routinely comes to visit her afterwards.
A griffin with a broken wing that she moves permanently to the island that likes to keep to itself, but tends to come down when she's near. It gets along best with Firas.
A panther-like monster from the Shades Woods that had six legs and three tails, with ends that reminded her of a venus flytrap. It stuck around the heavy foliage and she can only make out where it was when she saw its golden eyes reflect.
She befriends a young indrik with its leg injured, and much like the hydra it follows her back to her island, and stays there in the mountains. It comes out when she's alone, much like her other beasts.
She receives two more leviathan -- one from clockwork, and one she finds herself while exploring the deeper and darker recesses of the Ghost Zone. It was huddled against the carcass of its mother, and she managed to befriend and get close enough to it to bring it back to her island. Suhā is fully grown by then, with a head bigger than Danyal herself and he still likes to stick her head out of the water for nuzzles when she's near.
He's not very happy with his new siblings, but he's not trying to eat them when she's not looking. So she calls it a win in her book.
And it's not just large beasts either; smaller animals begin popping up when she's not looking. Bird-like creatures and small mammals, and she swears she saw a doe (or something resembling a doe) grazing in the forest while she was walking by.
She takes back with her a lone snake egg once, and it grows so big it wraps around her island and sleeps with its massive head on the mountain beside the temple, like some smaller breed of Jörmungandr.
And on and on it goes. Some of the beasts she comes across never step foot onto her island, some of them follow her back, while others she has to carry back. Not all of the ones that follow her stay, and Danny rehabilitates the injured and releases them when they're fully healed.
It's hectic, and busy, and frankly she loves it. Some of her rehabilitated beasts return to visit her, or to have their children somewhere on the island, or whatever it is they need to do.
She becomes a bit infamous for it. She goes to visit Dorathea once, and as she's walking through the streets she can hear some of the denizens whispering while she walks past.
"Is that her?"
"Her highness' friend? Yes--"
"--that's the one--"
"--Mother of monsters--"
Danny's not sure how to feel about that.
Although, she can't say she's opposed.
Danyal Al Ghul, Mother of monsters, raiser of beasts. It has a nice ring to it.
#danny fenton is not the ghost king#dpxdc#dp x dc#dpxdc crossover#danyal al ghul au#dpxdc prompt#fem danny fenton#fem danyal al ghul#mother of monsters danny#if anyone wants to hear about Layal specifically I'd be HAPPY to tell you about her. she's inspired by the song 'scylla' from epic#you can't leave me with dark danny for too long i give him depth if i do. anyways i gave layal mommy issues. she has a complicated view on#danyal and both loves and hates her in equal measure. she killed her out of mercy. she's her mother her sister her other half.#she despises her. she misses her. she'll never see her again. she sees her every time she looks in the mirror. she's 24. she's 10 years old#can you tell that i made layal during a time where i was thinking about the 'dan is danny's kid' dpdc trope bc that's exactly what happened#*holds dad!clockwork up like potato.* 'i just think he's neat :)'#i am incapable of making things only cracky. i must make it meaningful in some way or another.#MMMM i have to cut it off here before it gets too looooNNGGG.#if this flops i'll be sad :((#i just think the idea that danyal has her own little world on her island is neat. she's got dragons and wyrms and serpents and giant wolves#and griffins and one time there's a sphinx although she doesn't stay permanently. Danyal has a blast answering her riddles though.#that panther is based off the dnd displacer beast. there's little salamanders and gazelles with three eyes. there's more sea monsters than#just suhā and the other two leviathans but i couldnt think of any. im obsessed with the sea serpents if you havent notice LMFAO.#there's pegasi and a manticore and a ton of infinite realms monsters that are just an assortment of animals slapped together#the shades woods are a mega-island idea that i had. they're where a bunch of the “shades ghosts” are from. Its this large forest area with#megaflora trees similar to the redwood forest with canopies so thick and wide that no light can reach the bottom. so all of the native faun#living there have adapted to live in the shadows. there are a few villages that live in tall tree houses like the ewok villages that outsid#ghosts can go visit. the panther that's from there is very fond of danyal honestly. anyways yEAH ANIMAL WHISPERER DANNY.#her beasties are all animals up until she's like. 19. where she promptly steals an infant minotaur from a Legends Islands near Pandora#he wasn't being treated well okay!!! she couldn't stand by and watch. his name is asterion. he's a year old. and she'll kill for him.#i dont have enough tags to talk about Damian or her family >:T. just know that i am leaning into her assassin bg as usual :)
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tfw the man you love against your better judgement gets a kid to help him with his photojournalism and dies trying to expose the criminal he's been blackmailing and then the kid puts on a uniform that's way too big for him and calls himself spider-man after ben urich and you know he's going to get killed trying to serve justice to all the criminals in new york. and now there's a sixteen year old kid bleeding out on felicia's doorstep and again despite her better judgement, she cares. how much of that is a misplaced sense of responsibility for her dead lover, and how much of that is the deep feeling of injustice over how this child is the one fighting, and how felicia knows that she could never turn him away. what then </3
#we need more jaded old man who hates everyone and is overly harsh to the young girl theyre protecting but they end up like family#except the its a jaded old woman and a young boy. and i think noir peter felicia could be set up like this :)#especially bc i rly dont think felicia has a parental bone in her body. the dynamics get better/worse due to this#i really really need that feeling of guilt and helplessness and the 'YOU ARE NOT MY MOTHER' fight with them#i also think they need to have an awkward touching talk about ben and the mess he leaves behind and EVERYTHING#first thing that is coming out of the drafts in so long and its deranged noir takes what else did anyone expect tbh#spider-man noir#spiderman noir#peter parker#felicia hardy#my art#noir#felicia
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i have been a ball of depression lately as well as my physical health worsening pretty severly this past week due to stress and so my friends have been. trying so hard to get me to get out and do things and its very sweet but i feel bad because the whole time i’m just a total mess
#they say they dont mind but i need to really. stop#im stuck.#and i know it’s hard on my friends to see me like this since i’ve been doing a lot better and now am back to my old habits#but i felt bad because they took me out shopping and to dinner tonight and i just had a headache and was limping and couldnt stop talking#about the recent death in my family and all the stress from classes and socially and how lost i feel#and i just wanted so bad to just. enjoy myself but i couldnt#but my friends know about how severe my depression is and are all very used to it#its in fact more normal than not. but i was really. feeling at my best for several months so the crash back down to not eating and sleeping#and being unable to fully tidy my room and all that stuff has been. difficult for me as well as those around me#it’s been normal for me for so long to live terribly that taking care of myself for a while and then losing the drive to has been. hard#im trying to get better but i slide back down#i need to work on my constant self loathing but i keep walking around just. conviced im such a burden and being sad makes it even worse#i just. am always overcompensating for my lack of#ability to love myself with just. constantly showering everyone around me with love and its. hard for me when i dont have the energy to do#even that anymore. its hard to let people take care of me when i just want to take care of them all the time
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Deruth: That’s my son 🤧🥹 That’s the boy I raised
Ron:
#ron: this coming from the man that couldnt look his own son in the eye for years#raised the boys blood pressure more like#ron ‘i changed my puppy master’s diapers’ molan#like i get that ron and beacrox left og cale in the original#but we cant deny that ron was more involved in cales life#deruth abandoned his kid when he needed him most#and then didnt have the balls to be his parent#8yrs old without a parent#and then he goes and remarries not long after#i wonder how much ron and beacrox leaving hurt og cale#it makes me sad to think about#i just wanna hug og cale#ramblings#tcf novel#lout of the count’s family#ron molan#deruth henituse#cale henituse#og cale henituse
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actually I love Tentoo and he is the Doctor and it was the only ending for Rose that worked and it is a huge gift to be able to have the man she loves grow old with her, they were always heading for that, y'all be quiet. I 100% understand the angst but it's okay, they're okay, good ending-
#did you want her to...not end up with the doctor?#she ended up with the doctor. she ended up with the doctor and they get to AGE together#they get to have a real honest relationship the way they both always genuinely wanted#it's hard that the full time lord version has to carry on without her but that is the way that character's story ALWAYS goes#the doctor does not get to keep ANYONE. it would be a different show if he did#meanwhile there is a version of that same face of his - the one that was MADE for love? particularly born out of love for ROSE? the one 1/2#2/2 that always wanted a FAMILY? and stability? and a normal life? the tenth doctor longed for that specifically because of rose#now he gets to have it AND be part-human so he doesn't have to watch her get old. he gets old WITH HER#and they're canonically growing their own Tardis so you don't even have to be sad that they're not adventuring in time and space as usual#because they ARE. it's the kindest ending for either character. and if the full time lord hadn't left without either of them-#-he would have had to lose them eventually. lose Rose because she's human? hello? painful? but instead he was selfless and left her-#-with a proper happy ending. which she CHOSE to have so you can't be like “he tricked her!” she chose to kiss one of them and it was Tentoo#they are the same man. Rose won in this scenario.#and I GET IT I am with Billie Piper I think it will always feel a little off that she was left with Tentoo and not the full time lord#I understand. it still makes me a little sad. but I know it's a good ending writing-wise. really the ONLY ending.#yes I know about the popular idea of Immortal!Rose or Bad Wolf Rose or whatever and that's cute and all BUT - it's not a GOOD thing#it's not PREFERABLE to be immortal. Rose doesn't want to live forever. she wants to be with the man she LOVES forever.#she doesn't want to not die or adventure for all time. she wants to be there to hold his hand. and when Tentoo is born she gets THAT!#Immortal!Rose is tragic. the Doctor would not wish the burden of immortality on the woman he loves HELLO#anyway#I ship timepetals. that includes Tentoo/Rose. because he is the doctor#so there#I have more thoughts on Tentoo specifically but I digress#maybe if provoked in an Ask or something idk#doctorrose#timepetals#opinion piece#tenrose#tentoo#handy
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The Khan’s are just PHENOMENAL. They’re so warm and vibrant and hysterical in all the best ways. The MCU is absent/shitty/dead/evil-parent-and-complicated-family central, theres too much familial feuding at times, whether that family is blood or adopted or found, so I am LIVING for and LOVING how the Khan’s are just so normal and ordinary and wonderful. It’s no wonder Kamala has such a can-do, confident, positive attitude. It’s no wonder she’s such a dreamer and proudly herself and so damn funny when she’s surrounded by so much love and encouragement. Kamala Khan and the fam need to be in more Marvel movies, their dynamic is just joyous and healing and I will NOT tolerate another Aunt May incident. I WILL NOT. I swear if anything happens to ANY of them-
#so I just watched the marvels#I adore the khans sm#they’re just JOY okay?#Like the Mr Khan talking to the 300 yr old SWORD employee about his retireement plan? I fuckin howled#Mrs Khan being like “THIS WOULD BE A LOVELY HOME FOR GRANDCHILDREN AAMIR’ while Aamir tries to mute her with a tv remote#how they ALL insist to GO TO SPACE to make sure Kamala is okay#I forgot how dearly I loved the Khans for a second#Kamala can get away with all sorts of chaos and mischief but as long as she safe they’re chill about it#I swear if they pull a Thor on Kamala I will FLIP#Kamala is gonna have to have a character growth arc with all of the Khans safe and sound#there was obvs so much more about the marvels that was great but I haven’t seen any posts appreciating the Khans#THE KHAN FAMILY I LOVE YOU#the marvels#ms marvel#kamala khan#the khans#miss marvel#the Khan family#carol danvers#captain Marvel#monica rambeau#mwah.txt#marvel#marvel cinematic universe#mcu
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Ok, look:
We all find it cute/funny if Aragorn knew Borimir as a baby. But consider this: Aragorn babysitting Theoden as a child and through the entirety that we see them interact in lotr, Theoden’s inherent fear of disappointing a teacher is going off in the back of his mind.
Aragorn, coming into rohan for the first time in decades, accompanied by a wizard, elf, and dwarf: was there any trouble (while i stepped out of the (classroom) kingdom)?
Theoden, yeeting away any and everything that hints at his corruption and sitting up straight: No-
#lord of the rings#lotr#the hobbit#aragorn#theoden#aragorn is old af#incorrect lotr quotes#incorrect tolkien quotes#aragorn knew everyone from when they were in dippers#and they’re all lowkey afraid of him for it#at least the humans are#and then his (elf) family comes to visit and they finally see aragorn get the exact same treatment#only for them to realize that the elves know even MORE about their respective family lines#humans be like ‘fuck the elves’ but only bc they got embarrassing baby stories of everyone
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joel etho single dads au .........
#esp if we go w liml family#etho with scar and bdubs at the park#joel with hermes#their kids meet and become best friends and keep begging for five more minutes until theyre the last ones at the park#so joel and etho inevitably meet and start talking because theyre both hella bored waiting for their kids#and joel lowk kinda cannot stand etho#hes like “igh this guy is sooo pretentious i could sense it from a mile away. who does he think he is with that stupid white hair”#“newsflash it doesnt make you look cool it makes you look old as hell”#(but he doesnt say any of this)#(obviously)#and it works best if etho is totally oblivious#dude is just waiting 2 drop off scar n bdubs back home2 cleo so he can try2 get the Good Nights SleepTM hes been chasing since he was a bab#then they find out their kids go to the same school#and so obviously joel has decided to make it his mission in life to one up everything etho does#at this point etho is fully aware and finds it hilarious#because he is an Expert in these things okay. hes been making brownies for scar's bake sales since before hermes was Born#and joel can try as hard as he can but he just Cannot reach that level.#he can make as many cupcakes as he wants but none of them r gonna beat the gooey deliciousness of ethos chocolate chip triple layer brownie#and that is just soooo infuriating to him. his blood is boilimg at Every Single Parent Led Bake Sale Ever#and its even worse because etho looks like hes about to spontaneously combust at any possible second#his hair is a mess. deepppp eyebags. hes been running on maybe an hour of sleep every night for the past what eight years???#but hes sooo consistently perfect at everything.#joel hates him.#but like they also have to put up with each other at playdates and parties and whatnot because i repeat their kids are Best Friends#aughhh idk theres some potential there. i promise im just not getting it across very well#nya talks#trafficblr#hermitblr#joel smallishbeans
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I've been thinking about the tragedy of Elizabeth Woodville living to see the end of her family name.
I don't mean her family with her husband, which lived on through her daughter and grandson. I mean her own.
Her sisters died, one by one, many of them after 1485. When Elizabeth died, only Katherine was left, and she would die before the turn of the century as well.
All her brothers died, too. Lewis died in childhood. John was executed. Anthony was murdered. Lionel died suddenly in the peak of Richard's reign, unable to see his niece become queen. Edward perished at war. Richard died in grieving peace. For all the violence and judgement the family endured, it was "an accident of biology" that ended their line: none of the brothers left heirs, and the Woodville name was extinguished. We know the family was aware of this. We know they mourned it, too:
“Buy a bell to be a tenor at Grafton to the bells now there, for a remembrance of the last of my blood.”
Elizabeth lived through the deposition and death of her young sons, and lived to see the end of her own family name. It must have been such a haunting loss, on both sides.
#(the quote is by Richard Woodville in his deathbed will; he was the last of the Woodville brothers to die)#elizabeth woodville#woodvilles#my post#to be clear I am not arguing that the death of an English gentry family name is some kind of giant tragedy (it absolutely the fuck is not)#I'm trying to put it into perspective with regards to what Elizabeth may have felt because we know her family DID feel this way#writing this kinda reminded me of how I am just not fond at all about the way Elizabeth's experiences in 1483-85 are written about#and the way lots so many of the unprecedentedly horrifying aspects are overlooked or treated so casually:#the seizure and murder of two MINOR sons and the illegal execution of another;#her sheer vulnerability in every way compared to all her queenly predecessors; how she was harassed by 'dire threats' for months;#how she had 5 very young daughters with her to look after at the time (Bridget and Katherine were literally 3 and 4 years old);#how unprecedented Richard's treatment of her was: EW was the first queen of england to be officially declared an adulteress;#and the first and ONLY queen to be officially accused of witchcraft#(Joan of Navarre was accused of her treason; she was never explicitly accused of witchcraft on an official level like EW was)#the first crowned queen of england to have her marriage annulled; and the first queen to have her children officially bastardized#what former queens endured through rumors* were turned into horrifying realities for her.#(I'm not trying to downplay the nightmare of that but this was fundamentally on a different level altogether)#nor did Elizabeth get a trial or appeal to the church. like I cannot emphasize this enough: this was not normal for queens#and not normal for depositions. ultimately what Richard did *was* unprecedented#and of course let's not forget that Elizabeth had literally just been unexpectedly widowed like 20 days before everything happened#I really don't feel like any of this is emphasized as much as it should be?#apart from the horrifying death of her sons - but most modern books never call it murder they just write that they 'disappeared'#and emphasize that ACTUALLY we don't know what happened to them (this includes Arlene Okerlund)#rather than allowing her to have that grief (at the very least)#more time is spent dealing with accusations that she was a heartless bitch or inconsistent intriguer for making a deal with Richard instead#it also feels like a waste because there's a lot that can be analyzed about queenship and R3's usurpation if this is ever explored properly#anyway - it's kinda sad that even after Henry won and her daughter became queen EW didn't really get a break#her family kept dying one by one and the Woodville name was extinguished. and she lived to see it#it's kinda heartbreaking - it was such a dramatic rise and such a slow haunting fall#makes for a great story tho
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I've read some of your posts (I love your art by the way) and as a Clay simp I have to say I HATE ARTHUR PUPPINGTON MY GOD, AS MUCH AS CLAY HAD BEEN A SPOILED BRAT YOU CAN'T JUST IGNORE A FCKING CHILD AAAAAcbsknx The old man needed to mature instead of seeing a 12-year-old as competition
I get Arthur puppington but this old man should be upset at his wife not at the 12 year old who's been sheltered, spoiled and tricked into believing everyone should kneel down for him his whole life, that kid literally does not know any better
#i get everyone in that family........but I'm more upset at arthur. who COULD have helped and guide clay. he had this opportunity-#for 7 years yet he did nothing but physically abuse him for the fist months after his wife died#no. actually he had Clay's whole life lmao#why are you letting your wife shelter this boy!!!! he is going to grow into an insufferable man child#i get arthur puppington so much but you're the adult thid child relies completely on you#bastard!!!!!#i probably spoke about this already but god i love trashing this old man
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