#in my resident evil phase i was shipping everyone with ethan

[crumb-crumblet-s-crumbington]

UGHGJHTGH THEYRE SO FAMILY TO MEEEE

[zachsgamejournal]

COMPLETED: Resident Evil 7

This is the most I've enjoyed a Resident Evil since RE2 on PS1. May actually like it more than Code Veronica...

I kinda hated the freight ship section. By this point, I felt the game was done. But the designers were like: Nope, we're gonna have an environment as large as all previous sections combined, more enemies to face, start your gear at zero, and halfway through, make you replay areas via a flashback that's length to story ratio is 100:1.

The remote bombs were...a weird addition. I could place them on the floor, but not...you know...toss them. For like, when you're being assaulted by slimy monsters with shark teeth...And still, the game gives you a ton of them!

Turns out, I wasn't far from the end of the freight ship. So that was good. Then we end up at the salt mine. Turns out Lucas was just playing along...weird. So he got his arm cut off and everything on purpose? Like, he's a legit psycho?

I'm really confused about where the fetuses with curing abilities are coming from...ah well.

So we get some background info: Eveline was a fetus that was mutated to have super powers. She could infect folks, and cause hallucinations: presenting herself has a young girl. She, having never had a childhood, wants a family--so takes over a family and has them kidnap folks to add to their "family", but she's a psychotic child raised by other psychos, so everyone under her influence ends up violent and cruel.

And she vomits up monsters, or something...

Into the salt mine. I thought this was gonna be another section of exploring and puzzle solving, but it's actually quite linear. Seems they designed it to be the action section since they constantly send you up against molded, and drop healing items and ammo EVERYWHERE! I didn't need that because I had amassed so many healing items and weapons by playing frugally.

It's just like when I replayed Resident Evil 1--early on every zombie is life or death, and every bullet and herb is precious. But by the end, you become Terminator, can't die and tons of ammo.

There's a spiral climb at one point, and I just ran from everything. If you move quick enough, it's pretty clear of enemies. First molded was an easy side step. The second was a crawler and he trapped me on a catwalk. I was getting hit from behind, so had to kill that one. The third guy was just a walker, so I shot him once to get him to stumble, making the walk around easy.

And that was it. Salt Mine done. Which I was thankful, cause that damn tanker section!!

So we end up at the beginning, in the old house, reliving some Mia interactions via hallucinations. Not worried, cause I'm more well armed than an American Police force with more medicine than a...uh, pharmacy...I guess.

The phase one fight with Eveline was...unimpressive. But it was more about the story...I guess? I'm torn between being done with the game, and expecting a boss-fight on par with previous ones. But alas, we simply stab old-lady Eveline (nice twist) in the neck with a cure. She asks, "Why does everyone hate me" -- heart breaking, then talks about how it hurts. Almost as emotionally confusing as the end of Alien Resurrection.

But then...phase 2.

Instead of dying, Eveline turns into a giant tentacle monster. I guess it's inevitable that Resident Evil end on a ridiculous note. As grounded as much of the game is, they had to go big. But it's a pretty lame fight. You just shoot at mega-Eveline until a helicopter drops you special gun (Kind of like Brad dropping a rocket launcher at the end of Resident Evil 1 - wink, wink).

So she dies...for realz this time. And Chris Redfield appears in an Umbrella Helicopter. I'm glad he's not mega-Chris from Resident Evil 5, but he also doesn't look "his age". I don't know, seemed like unnecessary name dropping, but also no harm, no foul. Ethan hops in the chopper, finding Mia alive. Aw, so it is a love story!

But then the game gives this cheesy epilogue, blaming Eveline for being horrible--even calling her an "it". And then talks about how Mia just wants to put everything behind her. Everything being that Mia worked for a shady organization making horrible bio-weapons, and as part of her duties, helped hold a traumatized child captive and then attempted to kill her when the girl inevitably escaped??

Eveline was the real victim in this story. She did horrible things because she was child that wasn't properly loved and raised. No shit she wants to build a family. Her saying, "Why does everyone hate me", heartbreaking. I have kids. They're selfish, violent, impulsive bastards sometimes--but they're really sweet and just need people to love them.

Eveline wasn't given love. She was given orders, and restrictions. No surprise that she lashed out, and she did so in the ways she could: vomiting up molded zombies and possessing people.

So bosses...talk about unbalanced.

Boss 1: I had a single clip of ammo, maybe two healing items, and a pocket knife. All got used really quickly. I think you're not supposed to shoot him, just get the car keys. But it was confusing and intense, because I didn't know what to do. CHALLENGE: 3/5.

Boss 2: Jack again, but now it gets real. Moving around is awkward, and the second half involves a chainsaw duel. I used up at least 10 rounds of shotgun shells, all my healing items, and died at least 10 times trying to beat this boss. I almost switched to easy. CHALLENGE: 5/5.

Boss 3: Marguerite as a crazy bug lady. This was kind of the scariest battle, as she drops in out of nowhere and from behind. And if you don't constantly attack her, she sends bugs after you. This one drove me a bit nuts, but eventually I found the winning strategy. CHALLENGE: 4/5.

Boss 4: Super molded. I basically hid around the corner of the elevator and used all my shotgun shells on it. A few shots from the pistol and the thing was down. Not sure I even took damage. CHALLENGE: 1/5.

Boss 5: Mutant Jack. He was so big that he couldn't move around and hide like previous bosses. I maybe was hit once or twice, but it was nothing. The eyes were obvious weak points. CHALLENGE: 2/5.

Boss 6ish: Two Super-Moldeds. Kind of reminds of the big infected guys from The Last of Us. While they killed me the first time (very quickly), on my second attempt, I kept the elevator between us and used all my grenade launcher ammo against them (which I had been saving). They didn't touch me. CHALLENGE: 2/5.

Eveline Phase 1: Walk towards her, block when she shock waves. Timing was semi awkward. I died once. CHALLENGE: 1/5.

Eveline Phase 2: Shoot at a giant target that doesn't appear to do any actual damage. Could have been a cutscene. CHALLENGE: 1/5.

It's so weird that the hardest bosses were at the beginning. I guess this is where you have consider experience vs challenge. But for survival horror, challenge is part of the experience. You're supposed to be scared of bosses.

I think the final Eveline battle should have the player running through the swamp. Eveline's tentacles swimming after you, and in front of you, giving birth to molded with familiar faces (Like Mia) to freak you out. And that keeps happening until the player is out of ammo and healing supplies. Once you've used your last heal and bullet, Chris Redfield snipes the molded. You watch as the Eveline Mass rises to attack the helicopter. Chris takes aim with the Wesker gun, fires a shot at a tentacle arm--it calcifies and shatters! Eveline freaks out and smacks the chopper, sending the gun flying to the ground. You see it 10 yards away. You run to it, grab it, turn--Mia appears before you. "I'm one with her now. If you kill her, we'll never be together." If you hesitate too long, Mia kills you. If shoot, she shatters--Eveline attacks, final few shots: END.

Ah well. It was a good game and I'll probably play it again. I could see this being a semi-regular replay for me, right there with RE1 and RE2.