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I'm very sorry to ask something like this, I've really been struggling with this question, and I wanted to ask the combined wisdom of the people on this site
I would like to know why you keep going, and what drives you to keep living. I know there are a lot of reasons to stay alive and enjoy life, I can think of a few that personally resonate with me, but I really want to know what your reasons are
You do not have to comment on this if that's too big of an ask, and I'm very sorry for asking something like this, I really need someone's help, I feel like I don't have much purpose
Also if I may ask, please don't post any suicidal ideation in the comments of this post, I really can't handle something like that right now
#I've been thinking about this a lot and it's been hard for me to deal with#I think I just want to be happy as many times as possible and I want to help other people feel happy as many times as possible#I'd really appreciate any help or advice that you have#Suicide mention#Tw//#Cw//
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So I’ve received a couple of anonymous messages telling me that they were really disappointed in me for liking Elian's Antinous fanart. Instead of answering them individually, I’m just going to make an angry rant post instead. Most of if probably won't make sense anyway.
This post have talk about SA, and homophobia. Be aware. I don’t ship genuinely Telemachus and Antinous, if that’s what you’re wondering. I didn’t even consider the possibility that ship could even exist. At the end of the day, I don't care about that ship.
And do you want me to explain that I know SA is bad? Or that I’m aware Telemachus/Antinous is a toxic ship? Do you think I’m dumb and don’t know that? You don't have to explain to me either, I know that SA is bad, I have experienced it, you don't have to explain to me, trust me I know.
I like Elian's art because it’s really beautiful. Her work is a huge inspiration and encouragement for me when making animatics. But do I REALLY have to spell out, word for word, that I know Antinous is an antagonist and tries to do bad things? Does it mean every time someone draws Antinous and I like it, I have to explain that I like the drawing because it’s well done, not because I support Antinous’ intent toward Penelope and wants to kill Telemachus?
I mean, I’ve seen tons of thirsty comments like, "I hate how Zeus treats women, but your design is really hot" or "Even if Poseidon SA Demeter, this Poseidon I'd go down on all fours for!"
I have seen some stuff….
I guess I could just imitate something like that????
But I know it’s a joke and I know its a fantasy that someone is expressing. Its not real, its fictional. I know all those thirsty ppl who simp over Poseidon, Zeus, or even Antinous aren’t supporting hatred and violence toward women. And yes, I am expecting that you should already know this too. Because if we gonna assume the worst of ppl… Then everyone who likes Greek myth/Epic the musical are pro SA. "Do you like Crice from Epic the musical? That means that you support her actions, you support SA!" "Oh you like Odysseus?! He killed a baby and all of his female slaves cuz they got SA by the suitors! You support infanticide, slavery and SA!" Do you hear how dumb that sounds? To be honest, I wouldn’t be that surprised if there are some who think like this. I mean, this discussion wouldn’t even be a thing, right.
And if you don’t know, I literally make thirst art of Poseidon (and that includes Zeus and Hermes), and you don’t see it as a bad thing??? It’s Poseidon… Do you know what he has done to women in the myths?!
Im going to ramble here and I will bring up stories from greek myth that have SA in it. So be aware.
One example is the story of Caeneus. When Caeneus was a woman, his parents left him to take care of the house while they were out running errands. Poseidon took that as an opportunity to break into the house and sexually assault him. This is probably the only myth where Poseidon actually feels bad after what he did, so he grants Caeneus a wish. Aww, how sweet~~~ /sarcasm.
Do I need to give an example of Zeus? We all know what Zeus does. But hey, I’ve made Poseidon/Hermes ship art. And guess what? There’s a story where Hermes breaks a woman’s leg so she can’t run away from him, and then he sexually assaults her. Isn’t that cute~~! /sarcasm
Heck, I can even go on with my biblical ships. David/Jonathan—David, a serial assaulter and murderer, and Jonathan, a mass murderer. But do I support their actions? No, I do not support mass murder, and its really dumb that I have to spell it out for you.
Daniel/Darius is even questionable too! It's literally a king and his servant, and that power imbalance is so big I don’t know what to tell you! Do I have to spell it out that I know that, in real life, king/servant relationships aren’t cute at all?!
All of these characters that I’ve listed have done or represent horrible things. And I have to tell you that I don't support their actions?! Really? You really can't think outside the box?
But do you see what I’m trying to tell you? We can simp over other ancient mythological figures but Antinous is the red line that we can never cross??? It’s hypocritical and immature, that’s what it is.
Right now, ppl loves the Ody seduces Zeus art I made. And that "ship" is well really questionable too! But nobody have called me a witch and tries to burn me at the stake yet. 😐
And the thing is, I can separate these fictional characters from the real world. I can also separate the fictional material from other fictional interpretations. Exemple, I like The Song of Achilles, in it, they are the same age, but I am also aware that in the Iliad, Achilles is 16 and Patroclus is 26. But do I automatically assume that Madeline Miller likes teens? No! Do I assume that everyone who likes The Song Of Achilles like that shit? No!
But we still can have a disscussion about it without making it into a witch trial.
As long as we can separate different fictional materials, then everything is fine. It only becomes a problem if a person can’t separate them. Then we have a problem. I can acknowledge that my depiction of King David from the bible is not the same as from the original story and that he is horrible person towards women. If I couldn't acknowledge that, then its bad! The same goes for Antinous if someone makes an AU or headcanon about him. If someone want so make AUs about Antinous, my first thoughts isnt "Oh they like to SA ppl!". At the end of the day, this is just a group from tiktok who didn’t like a toxic ship and decided to bully an artist while acting like they have superior morals.
And I get this type of shit from christians when I make my queer bible interpitations, both from those that don't like the queer stuff but also those that points out that David and Jonathan were horrible ppl.
So I rarely answer comments like this because they usually end up spewing beliefs filled with homophobia and Islamophobia. Heck rasism sometimes, apparently, Christians don’t know that the Bible takes place in the Middle East, and they are angry at me for drawing them looking like Arabs! I just delete their comments before they gets there. Making queer biblical animatics on TikTok that go viral on the Christian side is not fun at all guys....
And hate to say it but tiktok Epic fans sound really similar. You are acting like you’re on a pedestal, holier than thou. Its just a different font.
+ I haven’t forgotten all those homophobic comments I got on my David/Jonathan animatic that I posted right after my Ruthlessness animatic. Epic fans were saying they didn’t want “that gay shit” and wanted to see more Epic stuff. Hate to break it to you all, but the Epic fandom isn’t that innocent.
#Sorry guys got a bit mad there but this puritan attitude gets my nerves cuz I have to deal with that on my queer bible stuff quiet a lot#so when someone acts the same way in the epic fandom yhea grow up#media literacy is dead#epic the musical#greek myths#mentions of sa#tw sa mention#mentions of homophobia#long post#long rant
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Red Hood and Red Robin greeting each other seriously during patrol so that RR can give the coordinates of a homeless child somewhere in Crime Alley. as if they weren't talking about explosives the other night and Jason didn't teach Tim to bake the coffee cupcakes he loves so much.
Later in a few
Red Hood, crushes the bags of stimulants on his hand and throws them on the sewers: Get a fucking new hobby. These things are disgusting.
Goon, runs: Fuck you, Hood!
Red Hood, sighs: What an idiot- The fuck. Where's my other gu-
Red Hood sighs again.
Red Hood, speaks to the rest of the family through the comms before chasing the goon: The kid's got my weapon again.
Nightwing: Robin, what -
Robin: Negative. It's not me.
Batman, pinches the bridge of his nose as he sits on a gargoyle somewhere in Gotham and thinks, "Here we go again."
Somewhere at a rooftop in Metropolis
Kon: Um Tim, I know you have plans of destruction, but-
Tim puts the weapon at the back of his suit. and Kon wonders how do the Bats even have places for weapons on their suits?
Tim: Nah, this is a comeback for him stealing one of the cupcakes you like at my apartment.
Kon: I already told you I'm over it!
Red Hood, hears the conversation through the comms and screams: Like the boy said, he's over it! Give that back to me!
#hood has to be more aware of his environment#esp when dealing with his brothers#i can see them doing this#bruce is so done#batfamily incorrect quotes#incorrect batfamily quotes#dc incorrect quotes#incorrect dc quotes#incorrect quotes#batfamily#batkids#batman#red hood#red robin#nightwing#robin#jason todd#tim drake#timkon mention#tw gun#tw stimulants mentioned#dc
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It makes me really sad that everyone agrees with Percy either explicitly or implicitly when he says that Orthax is his fault and that he's a bad person who made a bad choice, when from what I understand of Percy's own account, he was taken advantage of in his sleep by a demon in his most vulnerable, desperate hour. His family was brutally murdered in front of him, he was tortured, he escaped into a frigid river, then homeless and hungry, he was sleeping in the streets, having horrific nightmares, and a demon traipsed through his brain, posing as a dream, to offer him revenge. He thought it was a dream! He didn't even remember it properly until the black smoke started pouring off of him. I feel like things you agree to IN A DREAM should NOT be legally binding!!!
In TLOVM Orthax says that Percy summoned him with his pain and his anger. That's NOT the same thing as ACTUALLY summoning a demon with intent!!! He didn't draw any glyphs or use any components to do a ritual, he was literally just suffering so intensely that it was like a catnip beacon to a demon.
It affects the rest of his life, every major decision he ever makes. He decided to sign the contract in the Hells to spare anyone else because he felt he was already damned, his soul tarnished, and he deserved his fate. That it wasn't worth risking anyone else's soul and he was the most expendable one. He thought he was fundamentally flawed or weak because the demon chose him, he somehow let the demon into him or attracted it to him. His conversation with the Matron of Ravens broke my heart. "Did it choose me because I was broken, or did it break me?"
Maybe if someone had sat down with him and talked with him about it, he would be able to let go of some of that guilt. But no one ever did. They agreed with him and the demon that he was responsible. They all forgave him and love him of course, but that's different from thinking it was never his fault in the first place. The personal responsibility aspect is the sticking point here. He's made poor decisions of course, And I don't think this would excuse him from the consequences of his inventions, the Pepperbox and Bad News are still his, but I am specifically talking about the demon deal that happened in his dream that led him on the path of Vengeance in the first place.
Not to mention the symbolism of Percy literally being taken advantage of in his sleep then victim blamed about it for the rest of his life. Idk, it just rubs me the wrong way, maybe I'm overthinking it, I just feel bad for him. Someone give that boy a hug!
#critical role#vox machina#percy de rolo#orthax#critical role spoilers#tlovm#demon deals#dreams#tw: sa mention#kinda#metaphorically#via demonic posession#I'm just being careful#guilt#personal responsibility
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dont mean this in any disrespectful way when you posted that i did go through your account and saw you had posted about gaza back in oct 13, i think in the current climate where so many zionist weaponize anti-semitism to silence people trying to stop the genocide i was also worried when you posted that and had seen no posts about palestine on your twt i did go down farther and saw that that was not the case and its just not easily apparent i do feel like you are aware of this though and it feels a little exploitative to post that knowing people would be sensitive to the language you used and your lack of public sentiment around palestine and unfollow you thinking you were a zionist i dont think your a zionist but your immediate outrage at people unfollowing you for that post is ignoring the context in which your posting in. please remember people are dying before our eyes everyday from people who use the language of anti-semitism to fuel that death i implore that you act with compassion towards people and not bad intentions
(for reference to others, this is about this post I then shared on my twitter as well.) Me commenting about people unfollowing me for sharing support for my community is not outrage, it's an observation on how I can't support fellow Jews without it being connected to Zionism. I said a very positive message to support others who have been dealing with things IN DIASPORA like I have and get messages like yours and this.
It is not exploitative for me to express love for MY COMMUNITY (NOT ISRAEL) after experiencing multiple actually antisemitic incidents IRL recently and saying the words I needed to hear for others. I need to hear that people care. My synagogue got bomb threats and I've been called a kike and harassed in real life multiple times. I didn't even post about most of the stuff I've dealt with to be sensitive to others and the online environment lately. Yet here I am being called exploitative and that I should be more sensitive to others for supporting my community. I have never once called anyone on here or anywhere else an antisemite or weaponized antisemitism so please don't project on me.
#hyde replied#:l#jumblr#anitsemitism#tw antisemitism#cw antisemitism#im tagging this because of my experiences i mentioned#k slur#long text#for reference anon I'm not upset with you. I'm just so tired of projection#and being villainized#and hatred. I should be able to support my community who's been dealing with a lot#without people assuming im a zionist and digging through my blog and harassing me#“it feels a little exploitative to post that knowing people would be sensitive to the language you used” when the words I used were#“Jewish friends I love you.”#“you deserve mutual respect and care”#Honestly makes me feel like I'm in another dimension where I said something horrifying and not those words ???#I even said I wasnt mad about losing followers.. I dont consider it a loss to lose people who project on me. but somehow I am outraged?
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don’t wanna put my whole private business on here but in other happy news I’m leaving my partner (really violent serial cheater 👎👎👎) but as he’s been the only one working since I just recently had a baby I’m really gonna struggle for the first few weeks with money so if anyone can help me afford to move out with my baby so we don’t have to either move into a shelter or back in with my abusive family I’d appreciate it ❤️ my p@yp@l is here
#sorry to friends who I’ve not spoken to recently I’m dealing with this whole….situation lol#always something lol#tw abuse mention
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at first getting diagnosed with cptsd was like, "yay my trauma has been validated (it always was valid)!" and i really thought that was going to be it, but then i started to do research as i do whenever i realize i have something and learned that!! the way i experience socialization is!! quite horrid actually!!
#i have had this stupid fucking rule for myself for years since i was little#''dont speak unless you're spoken to or else something bad will happen. nobody wants to hear what you have to say unless they ask''#I TELL MYSELF THAT ALL THE TIME????#AND I DIDNT REALIZE IT WASNT NORMAL#thats not something that healthy people think to themselves whenever they want to talk to people. they just talk to them#they dont tell themselves not to speak to people for fear of what may happen to them jesus christ spacie#i get so scared when i message anybody ANYTHING#bc everything and anything i wanna talk about feels so stupid why would anyone give a shit#staring at a funny joke i want to send someone for 30 fucking minutes before deleting it b/c my brain is like ''errmm who cares?''#''also they're going to yell at you for wasting their time!!!''#i sent my friend a meme once and had a panic attack (or maybe a flashback?? im still trying to figure out what they are) immediately after#this shit sucks dude. it sucks#at least im processing what happened to me. thats why it hurts so bad rn its been stockpiled for like.#2 decades#im not looking for any sympathy here im just putting it out there#so that anybody who feels the same way i do know they're not alone#ive been struggling everyday for like 2 months now (actually DEFINITELY longer)#it will get better. things just need to be taken one step at a time#i have gotten thru my worst days i have a 100% success rate#how many days have i been alive#7930#lightwork#lets keep it goin#vent#trauma tw#trauma mention#wrote this post thru a flashback btw!! dealing with them is getting easier#before i would be unable to function for days at a time!!!#with one of the most recent ones i had i was so in the thick of it i avoided everyone i knew for a week cuz i was convinced#i was an evil unlovable freak that only wanted to hurt people
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Grief (A Friend Indeed) Part 7
And now you see why I waited until I had this part written before posting the last one? That was one hell of a cliffhanger. Also everyone gets a dig at Al in this. It's family bonding event. But Steve has the best burn I think.
Just a heads up, Steve talks about being abused...heads up if that's a trigger for you.
Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6
***
Steve placed his hand on Eddie’s back the second he felt his friend stiffen next to him.
“Deep breath, Eds,” he murmured. “There is nothing he can say to you that I will let him get away with, okay? Deep breath. Let me and Wayne handle this.”
Eddie let out a deep breath. “Just careful, Stevie. He’s been known to charm snakes out of their skin.”
Steve’s jaw clenched. So that’s the kind of man he was. He knew that kind of man intimately. His own father was like that. He knew what to watch for now that he had been forewarned.
He plastered a solemn expression on his face, that to everyone who didn’t know him well enough would think sincere, but to Eddie and Wayne, they could see the hard set line of his jaw as he kept one eye on Al and the other on the proceedings.
The funeral wrapped up and everyone lined up to throw dirt on the now lowered coffin. Al tried to get directly behind Eddie, but Steve seamlessly inserted himself between them.
Al bristled but the portly man next to him coughed and he was forced to back down.
Finally the family was all that remained as they all walked back to the church.
The portly man stuck to Al like glue and Steve felt a sudden warmth for the boys in blue at that moment. Because he was pretty sure that even though Al Munson had been granted a furlough, someone was paying to keep that man on a short leash.
The family and a small handful of friends arranged themselves on the pews and waited.
It wasn’t too long until a funny little man with thick bottled glasses came hurrying in.
“I’m sorry Mrs Nelson,” he twittered to Penny. “I had a hard time getting to the church.”
Penny just nodded. “It’s all right Mr Mulbury, you’re here now, that’s all that matters.”
He walked up the pulpit and put his briefcase on it. He pulled out a piece of paper of it and then walked back around the pulpit, leaving the briefcase where it was.
“Ehhm,” Mr Mulbury coughed. “The last will and testament of Gina Munson goes as follows...”
He read it out, people getting little trinkets and things that were meaningful to them, instructions on what to do with her clothes and other things that wouldn’t be given to friends or family.
And then it came time to divide up her meager savings. “My savings of five thousand dollars will be divided three ways. To Penny, you get a thousand to repair that lovely house of yours. I know you didn’t want anything, but use it for your family, dearest girl. Love you all the best.”
Penny laughed a watery little chuckle. She shook her head fondly.
“To Wayne, you get two thousand dollars to finally get that motor home you always wanted. When the time is right, retire and see the world like you always dreamed of. See the stars, my beautiful boy. You deserve stars.”
Wayne teared up, coming down in rivers down his face. Both Steve and Eddie hugged him tight.
“To Allen, who had squandered every good thing he every had, his loving wife, his devoted son, his talents and his good sense, you get nothing. You deserve nothing. If you are here to hear this, I hope it is because the state of Texas deemed it so, and not because you have been set loose again on the world.”
There was a gasp from those gathered and they descended into harsh whispers as they wondered aloud who got the remaining two thousand dollars.
Mr Mulbury cleared his throat. “Instead the remaining two thousand will be given to your son, Edward. Through your actions that boy has suffered so, and because of your actions he will receive not only the money, but all my love as well. Live your dreams, Eddie. Be that star for your uncle. Shine brighter then even that of Polaris. Butterfly kisses into the sunset, darling boy.”
Now Eddie was crying too. Two thousand wouldn’t get him far, but it could get him started. He raised a shaking hand to his quivering lips. Steve grabbed his shoulder and squeezed it.
Eddie looked over and Steve mouthed, “you deserve it.”
He nodded back.
Finally there were some other little things to be wrapped up in the will and then it was all over.
Everyone stood and Steve looked over at Al for the first time since they entered the church. The man had a smile plastered on his face that sent chills down Steve’s spine. Whenever his father wore that expression it meant trouble for someone, usually Steve.
They mingled for a bit, waiting until Penny’s friend came back to tell her that dinner was ready for them. Penny, Wayne, Steve, and Eddie all clustered together while everyone else gathered in other groups.
People were coming up and telling Eddie how much he deserved the money and how much his grandmother loved him. It made Steve puff out his chest in pride.
Finally Al came over and all four of them stiffened.
“Eddie, my boy!” Al greeted warmly. “You’ve grown so much since I last saw you. You’re spitting image of your old man.” He lifted a handcuffed hand with a jaunty little wave. “I’d hug ya, but I’m on a bit of a leash.”
Penny bristled. “I paid good money for that leash, I’m glad to see it working.”
The men turned to her in shock.
“Did you know,” she said through gritted teeth, “that the state of Texas was going to let him come to the funeral without a guard to make sure he didn’t escape? And that you actually have to pay for that service?”
Al grinned. “Ah...Penny-elle-oh-pee, you shouldn’t have.” His voice dropped low and menacing. “You really shouldn’t have.”
The portly man nudged him with his elbow. Al straightened up, his charming mask firmly in place.
Wayne shook his head. “Al, Al, Al...you never did know when to fold and when to call.”
Al turned to his brother for the first time. “Big brother always watching out for everyone and never getting ahead. How much they pay you at that workhouse? You know the one, the one that took Dad’s life?”
Wayne grinned. “Pretty good considering we union’ed up about five years ago. Which would have known if you actually read any of the letters I sent you. Just like you would have known about what Eddie looks like now...”
Steve hurried to cover his snort, but Al whipped his head his direction.
“And who the hell are you?”
Steve eyed him with a raised eyebrow. “Steve Harrington, my mother is Sophia Kincade, of the Lexington Kincades and a good friend of your son’s.”
Al turned to Penny. “Why he is here with family?”
Wayne bristled. “This is the boy that saved your son during that major earthquake we had earlier this year. Another thing you’d know if you’d read my damn letters. He deserves to be here just as much as you if not more so.”
Just then Penny’s friend came in and told them that dinner was ready for the family.
Al ran his tongue over his teeth and grinned. “Hey, Bernie, how much time have we got?”
The portly man looked at his watch. “We’ve got about an hour before we have to leave to catch our flight.”
Penny furrowed her brow but knew she couldn’t deny him dinner as much as it grated.
The friends that had been at the reading made their goodbyes and soon everyone else was filing into cars.
Penny and her family in her blue Chevy, Steve, Eddie and Wayne in his BMW, and Al and Bernie in an unmarked Crown Vic.
They get to the house and the scents of a home cooked meal waft from the open front door.
They all go sit down at the table, Danny and Wayne pulling out two more chairs for their unwelcomed guests.
Steve was disappointed to see that not only was there enough food to feed Al and Bernie, but that there was enough food to feed a fucking army.
Penny’s friend’s name is Lucy and her daughter Beth is one of Lauren’s friends, too. They’re both blonde with bright blue eyes and curvy bodies.
They are bustling around the table making sure everyone has enough food.
About half way through dinner Al speaks up. “So you still playing that guitar of yours, Ed?”
Eddie stiffened. “I’ve got a red NJ Warlock that I play now.”
“Ooh...fancy,” Al whistled. “You steal it?”
Lauren and Wayne bristled, but Eddie scoffed. “No, but I did steal an RV once while on the run wanted for murder, but they were a bunch of pricks anyway.”
Wayne and Steve stifled a laugh while the rest of the family looked as though they weren’t sure if he was telling the truth or not.
“Cleared of all charges,” Steve added with a sly smile. “Court ruled it extenuating circumstances.”
It was Eddie’s turn to hide his smile in his napkin.
Al’s mood darkened. He didn’t like being out of the inside joke. “You gonna do anything with the talent I gave ya, teaching you how to play on that beat up ‘ole six string?”
This time Eddie rankled. How dare AL imply that he had anything to do with his ability to play guitar? As if the real reason wasn’t sitting right there at the table.
Steve put his hand on Eddie’s shoulder, calming him.
“Was that before or after you taught him how to hotwire a car?” he asked, faux innocence.
Al sputtered.
“See, I always got the impression,” Steve continued, “that instead of teaching Eddie how to play guitar or throw a ball you were too busy trying to make sure your son followed in your footsteps straight into the penitentiary.”
Eddie’s eyes went wide with barely contained glee.
“While Wayne on the other hand,” he said scratching his temple, “was working hard to put on the table, get Eddie through school, and give him the best life he could given the hand you dealt both of them. Now, I’m just some outsider, but I know what it’s like to have a shit dad.”
The room was stock still. Steve didn’t think that they were even breathing at this point, but he pressed on.
“Didn’t fit into the box he built? He hit me. Didn’t get captain my sophomore year, something that had never been done ever? He hit me. Didn’t date the right girl? He hit me. Ditched my asshole friends? He hit me. Now, I don’t know if you’re cut from the same cloth or not. I don’t give a fuck. But you tell another lie like that one to these honest folk, and Officer Bernie here will be taking you back to Texas in a body bag.”
Al jumped to his feet, but before he could even twitch Steve’s direction Bernie whipped out a taser and zapped him with it. Soon he was doing a different kind of twitching.
On the floor.
Bernie began clapping and soon everyone else was too.
Steve blushed. “To think I could have been like that asshole if it wasn’t for getting some sense knocked into me by people who actually gave a damn. I’m sorry he ruined dinner.”
Penny scoffed. “Dinner isn’t ruined. Wayne, Danny please help the kind officer take out the trash.”
Officer Bernie chuckled. “Much appreciated, ma’am.”
Wayne and Danny stood up and helped him take Al back into the Crown Vic.
Wayne went through and made sure that Al didn’t steal anything or had anything that might be a danger to the good officer. He never had trusted Al, even as kids and he sure the hell wasn’t going to start now.
Soon the officer was on his way and the family sat down to eat the dinner that was so wonderfully prepared in peace. Like Gina had always intended.
Wayne smiled at Steve. He was proud of how he had stood up to Al for his boy.
****
Pt 8|Pt 9|Pt 10|Pt 11|Pt 12
Tag list: @spectrum-spectre @estrellami-1 @zerokrox-blog @artiststarme @swimmingbirdrunningrock @gregre369 @pyrohonk @a-little-unsteddie @chaosgremlinmunson @chaoticlovingdreamer @messrs-weasley @goodolefashionedloverboi @maya-custodios-dionach @val-from-lawrence @i-must-potato @danili666 @carlyv @rozzieroos @emly03 @wonderland-girl143-blog @justforthedead89 @bookworm0690 @itsall-taken @bookbinderbitch @redfreckledwolf @vecnuthy @littlewildflowerkitten @scheodingers-muppet @mira-jadeamethyst @cinnamon-mushroomabomination @gutterflower77 @genderless-spoon @hel-spawn @ellietheasexylibrarian @anne-bennett-cosplayer @mamafaithful @yikes-a-bee @dragonmama76 @flaming-reauxster
#my writing#stranger things#steddie#ladykailtiha writes#minor character death#dealing with grief#tw: mentions of abuse
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#love love love#on death#death mention tw#a matter of life and death#on grief#grief poetry#grief/mourning#grief poem#dealing with grief#grief journal#grief#abuse survivor#griefjourney#griefandloss#coping with grief#tw grief#loss#dealing with loss#grandparents#grandfather
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Geneva Island Legacy┃Chapter six┃One Night
~ Transcript ~
Beginning / Previous / Next
#if there is one thing you can count on#its the Keed family making an appearance at the mention of ANY life event#they basically have a ready to go bag packed by the door at all times#just waiting for a call from Darion#Marshall calls him a couple times a day too just in case he misses something#darion means well as he always does#he just really doesn't know the strict family dynamic that autumn has to deal with#tw pregnancy#sims 4 story#ts4 story#sims 4#Geneva Island Legacy#ts4 screenies#ts4 screenshots#GIL chapter six#the sims community#show us your sims#show us your story#simblr
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thinking about just how likely it is that Batman was the only person Harley told about having suicidal thoughts whilst in Arkham in Detective Comics #831
"I was seriously considering hanging sheets from the light in my cell and doing the maximum checkout when I heard this voice..."
Detective Comics #831
and how he knew when she strapped that bomb to herself in Batman (2016) #100 that he had to go after her because she was going let herself die in an attempt to end Joker's rampage for good but that she refused to physically do it because he didn't want to her Kill him and he told her that so she's found a middle ground
"We don't need to end it this way. He needs to be locked back up."
that she'd rather die than keep living with his presence in the world haunting her, haunting Them.
That if he did choose Joker, she wasn't going to disarm the bomb herself.
"Honey. You're talking to the wrong girl if you think he's not dangerous locked up in Arkham. It's like I said. That's not good enough for me. Not anymore."
the way he yells for her as she leaves.
"You're only going to get to one of us in time, Bats. Who's it going to be?"
"Harley!"
the way the two men stare at each other in the way they have so many times before, in those moments when Joker stayed or prioritized their fight over her. the way he knew Joker loved the thrill of it all and thought it was funny, thought there was No way Batman would leave him and that this game had to end as according to the rules. And that Batman would do so, he would follow the rules and save him. The way he immediately assumed Batman would choose him, choose his life and choose to stay and disarm the bomb.
And how Batman didn't do that. How Batman walked away from him, leaving him to die or escape or whatever, because He was choosing Harley and her safety and prioritizing her life over him.
The way he stared him in the eyes before choosing the woman Joker had always left to die over him. The way that it was always Him, it was never a question if he would choose Batman over her, but when faced with that type of scenario, Joker is the one that gets left behind to die.
The way she literally woke up in the hospital instead of them having a scene just outside after he removed it. because she didn't intend to live in one of the two options. the way the bomb probably did go off to some capacity because you don't just end up in the hospital knocked out for a week.
Him saying that he's glad she's okay, after everything they've been through, this war and Everything else. and the way he didn't brush off her concern
"I'm glad you're okay."
"Are you?"
"I had to bury my father again today. I did it with my family."
i just, i can't,,,,, i cant
#have i told yall how much i love batquinn because i really fuckin do#they make me miserable and emotional in all the best ways#we deserve more well written content with them FUCK#and like she COULD have killed that fuckin man when she shot in through the eye but she didn't because she knows how he feels about Murder#even tho j*ker had exposed his identity and was about to horrifically disfigure him in such a similar way to how he permanently changed her#and led her to believe he was going to do AGAIN#during the rebirth death in the family arc when she thought he was going to carve off her face#like she had such a solid reason to just kill him and she could have defended it to batman but she still didn't break that rule#that she knew meant so much to him because shes trying and she doesn't want to ruin the budding trust they've got#and just#i cant#i cannot do it y'all#AND SHE KNOWS HE'S BRUCE AND SHE DIDN'T MAKE A BIG DEAL OUT OF IT BECAUSE IT WASN'T SOMETHING BATMAN WANTED EXPOSED#BUT SHE KNEW SHE KNOWS#she heard J*ker say it right before she shot him#and like that just also something she knows he didn't want her or anyone (let alone fucking j*ker) knowing so her aiming for a non deathblo#just#tw abuse mention#tw clown boy#tw blood#tw suicide mention#harley quinn#harleen quinzel#batman#bruce wayne#dc comics#batquinn#♧ comic thoughts ♧#♢ meta & analysis ♢
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⭐️ving
yall, comment protein rich foods cuz my protein intake is fuckin’ ass‼️
#made of styro#tw self h4rm#sh cvt#tw ana rant#tw disordered thoughts#self h@rm#cosmic cvts#light as a feather#988blr#it's not as simple as just eating#sh things#3d not sheeran#cat scratches#depressing shit#ed but not ed sheeran#hitting styro#i hate dealing with this i’m sorry i have to talk about it on here i really don’t like to but i have no where else to put it :(#s3lf mutilation#s3lfharmm#scarspo#self destruction#self destructive tendencies#self h4te#self mutalition#self mutilator#selfh4rm#selfharrrm#sh#sh addict#sh mention
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"Cybertronians don't have lungs" okay but imagine how many of them would be weed smokers if they did. Half of the Lost Light would get thrown into the brig, Whirl would pass out blunts like they were candy (Don't take them), Brainstorm would figure out how to make their version of edibles, nobody knows where they're getting it from but Megatron had to physically restrain Magnus from interrogating the entire crew about it. Rodimus is like "lol. lmao" about it
#wynter's rambles#tw weed mention#transformers#transformers idw#transformers mtmte#transformers more than meets the eye#mtmte#more than meets the eye#transformers lost light#lost light#idw lost light#maccadam#they literally cant and im over here like#as the residential stoner rodimus simp my brain works in mysterious ways#megatron specifically starts smoking weed to deal with rodimus /j#ultra magnus walks in to rodimus' hab and sees him squatted down with a bong in his servos like a goblin#just stands there in the doorway like 🧍♂️#ratchet: drift are you high#drift: high off my love for you baby girl
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The whole "humans are inherently awful and bad!" spiel is so tiring to me as a survivor of abuse because it comes off as abuse apologia. If humans are inherently awful, then why should it matter if you're abused - that's what humans do best! Like, genuinely, I think this mindset can harm abuse victims/survivors because they're being inundated with this idea that, well, how bad can their abuser be? All humans are horrific, why complain, why escape, and why try to resist it?
I really wish people would critically analyze where these ideas come from and where these lines of thinking can lead. Maybe it's a matter that I'm looking too deep into, but this very bleak ideology is not going to help in the long run, I think, and some of the first people who are going to be crushed by it are the people who are vulnerable or who are put in vulnerable positions in society.
#politics#abuse tw#abuse mention tw#i think a lot of these beliefs can influence your politics and how you view other people#honestly if i kept the mindset that humans are inherently abusive i would have just stayed with people who abused me. lol.#i think a lot of people who posit these things are genuinely in pain and i really really feel for them...#...a lot of these people may be in the earliest stages of healing where the world DOES feel scary...#...but i don't want that to be normalized in the sense that it *can be* harmful to dwell in...#...when the world feels like a hammer you're going to think you're a nail. and that's such a scary thing to be stuck in#i think it's different when people use this stuff to imply that abuse isn't real/isn't a big deal because abuse is the Nature of Humanity#i'm just frustrated that this is seen as... expected? necessary? fine? it's hard to describe#i've probably talked about this before but i don't care because this is important to me still even if i did
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https://www.tumblr.com/pfhwrittes/739087985055809536/a-quick-little-something-for-dealing-drugs-and
Could you add to this at all?
I’m not sure if you do anons but if you do and If it’s available could I be- 🐙?
(I’m 19 years old)
hi anon, of course you can be 🐙 (also thank you for specifying your age, that's very sweet of you but not necessary. i'm going to trust my anons that they're over 18)
gosh lets see what i can pull up as a follow up for this post. i'll have to dig into my murky memories to see if i can remember where it was going (or maybe to drag up some inspiration).
TW: unspecified intoxication, nausea mention (but no vomit), dubcon touching (johnny doesn't ask before touching the reader character, and the reader character can't consent anyway).
pairing: john mactavish x female reader --
you're sat on the kitchen floor, cool tiles bleeding the slightly feverish heat from your body, propping yourself up against the cabinet behind you. you stomach roils and you take a careful breath through your nose.
"y'alright there, hen?"
you blink open your eyes hazily, not entirely sure when they dropped closed, to look up at one of the men from the living room. did he follow you? where's your friend? you swallow and shake your head carefully. the kitchen blurs and spins around you so you close your eyes again.
"easy, easy. don't want ye makin' yerself sick now."
you feel two calloused palms cradle your face, a thumb strokes your cheekbone lightly sending a burst of heat and static up into your temple.
"m'gonna be sick." you manage to slur out through numb lips but the hands don't pull away.
"naw, yer no'. just need a drink of water is all, hen." one of the hands moves away from your hot face and you feel something cool and smooth nudge your lower lip. you blink your rolling eyes open so you can focus on the glass of water - is it water? - under your nose.
the man tilts your head back slightly and you sip carefully. the water washes away the slightly sour taste in your mouth and you hum to let this helpful stranger know you're done for now.
"good girl, well done." your helpful stranger practically purrs at you as he removes the glass from your lips. you feel his thumb swipe at a bead of water in the corner of your mouth and your world tilts slightly on its axis again. maybe you should ask him to stop touching you now, but you feel like you'll shatter into pieces without the anchor of his palm on your cheek and the thumb that's now resting on your bottom lip.
"is that right?" he asks sounding amused. oh, you must've mumbled some of that out loud. you blink at your stranger, wondering if his eyes really are that blue. who is he anyway? did he follow you? where's your friend?
"'m johnny. i saw you go out into the kitchen. your friend..." he pauses briefly and you're fascinated by the way his lips twitch as he contemplates the words he wants to say. you want to touch the stubble on his jaw. "is a wee bit busy at the moment. so i thought i'd better check on you."
you hum, you know what busy means. and oh, you must've asked him your questions out loud again. you don't know if that's a good thing so you close your heavy eyelids again. maybe that will help you keep your thoughts inside your head.
"hey, c'mon hen. you cannae fall asleep here." johnny taps your lip to get your attention. "let's get you somewhere more comfortable."
you mumble something half formed and garbled about not wanting to see whatever it is your friend is doing with the other men in the living room and johnny huffs a quiet laugh.
"naw, naw. c'mon i'll put you up in my room, how does that sound?"
that sounds pretty good. so you let johnny manoeuvre your uncooperative body upwards and trust him to guide you out of the kitchen in your haze.
you miss whatever he says to the hulking figure in the doorway as you focus on keeping your feet in contact with the floor but you're very aware of the way his hand on your waist burns like a brand.
somewhere in the back of your mind a tiny shrill voice warns you about something before it gets washed away. maybe you'll remember after having a lie down.
-- taglist: @kaadaaan
#dealing drugs and feelings#pfh answers#🐙 anon#tw drug mention#tw nausea mention#tw dubcon#female reader#john mactavish x female reader#here you go anon! i hope you like it!#also guys: please be careful if you're getting fucked up. stick with your friends and don't mix drugs and alcohol please#jm
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Please stop
#please im already dealing with my partner attempting this week and the 3rd being the anniversary of my dad's death#and ive been answering people privatly and i responded but my reblogs were hidden?#im very close just please stop#i dont know what i did exactly outside of what ive already explained but im sorry#why was i told it was all okay and then its not#why was i chosen#tw negative#tw suicide attempt mention#i thought the discussion was good and constructive i thought it was over what is going on
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