#deal with it and not just meltdown

[audiovisualrecall]

Oh...I did some research and I guess I was wrong? It looks like if I got on a plan thru the open market, even if the ACA gets cut later down the road I would get to keep the plan. So maybe MY plans aren't ruined...

[detentiontrack]

A lot of people think my autism is “getting better” but I think a lot of it has to do with being an adult and being able to make my own decisions. I used to have frequent meltdowns and shutdowns and on the outside seemed more “obviously” autistic. But I’m 19 now, so I have a lot more say in my life. I only buy one brand of socks. I only own 2 types of shoes. All of my clothes are the exact same. I only eat what *I* want to eat and think feels safe. I can drive and can choose when to leave for appointments and obligations. If I were still a child and forced to wear socks with seams in the toes or clothes that fit me wrong or foods that trigger my sensory issues or have my routine thrown off by other people, I would have A LOT more issues. But since I’m an adult, I have control over most aspects of my life. I’m not “less autistic” now, I just have more free will and know myself well enough to avoid triggers.

[m-a-d-e-l-e-i-n-e]

More than anything right now I’m just so angry that HE’S STILL FUCKING HERE after eight years and three terms and so many people would take him as president even though he’s been impeached twice is a 34x convicted felon is a racist rapist misogynist pedophile abuser piece of shit who is absolutely not fit to control an entire fucking country I fucking hate Trump and I fucking hate his supporters and anyone who defends anything he does GO AWAYYYY

[solargeist]

do the watchers not like that grian has the Tism .......

AJDBDK I don’t think they notice

he’s just a little silly to them, but that’s okay he’s being cute abt it

he occasionally gets accommodations abt it tho

[neoyorzapoteca]

playlist or no playlist I am losing my fucking mind, by the time I get my shit together and start feeling a tiny bit alright the sun starts going down and I am plunged into despair (and this is despite living in MEXICO)

[asexualsimonsnow]

A Shortened List of Simon Snow's Autistic Traits

because a full length list would be too long of a post.

1. His love of magic could easily be interpreted as a special interest

“No ones loves magic like I do,” (Carry On, page 9).

2. He is shown to have poor spatial awareness

“That’s when we hear the first scream. I stand up, knocking the table over and breaking the teapot more conclusively,” (Carry On, page 235).

“...before she starts treating me like a Great Dane who can’t help knocking things over with its tail… You’d have to be incorporeal not to knock anything over,” (Carry On, page 267).

3. He is always interpreting things literally

“‘Let hardship sharpen your blade, Simon.’ I thought he meant my actual blade… Eventually I figured out that he meant me,” (Carry On, page 9).

It even affects his magic: “And sometimes when [Simon] casts metaphors, they go viciously literal,” (Carry On, page 119).

4. He has his whole thing with lists to help him process things

“I keep a list—of all the things I miss most—and I’m not allowed to touch it in my head until I’m about an hour from Watford. Then I run through the list one by one. It’s sort of like easing yourself into cold water. But the opposite of that I suppose—easing yourself into something really good, so the shock of it doesn’t overwhelm you. / I started making my list, my good things list, when I was 11, and I should probably cross a few things off, but that’s harder than you’d think,” (Carry On, page 11).

^ Not only is the list thing autistic, struggling to take things off because he's grown used to the list as it is is autistic.

5. He has difficulty with verbal communication

“Half of Snow’s sentences are shrugs,” (Carry On, page 354).

“I’ve never been good with words,” (Carry On, page 107). They mention this like a million times.

This is the bit that really convinces me: "I don’t remember when I learned to talk, but I know they tried to send me to specialists… I used to see a counselor and a speech therapist. ‘Use your words, Simon.’ I got so bloody sick of hearing that. It was so much easier to just take what I wanted instead of asking for it. Or thump whoever was hurting me, even if they thumped me right back," (Carry On, page 108).

“Simon seemed conscious, but wasn’t saying anything. And he wouldn’t make eye contact,” (Carry On, page 427). The eye contact thing in here is also pretty autistic.

6. He does a lot of stimming

“Simon groans and rakes at his hair,” (Carry On, page 362). He messes with his hair a lot.

“Simon was pacing around my bedroom, swinging his blade,” (Carry On, page 454).

“I intentionally slam my shoulder into the wall next to the door. (People who tell you that slamming and bashing into things won’t make you feel better haven’t slammed or bashed enough),” (Carry On, page 274). This one especially stands out to me.

Again, just a short list. There are plenty more quotes for these traits, and other autistic traits that Simon has.

[gruesome-beauty]

woke up with julien baker’s badlands cover stuck in my head 💜 (x)

[angelpuns]

Raughhh I'm fine rn but frustrating to think that I haven't been able to like - just relax and enjoy things lately cause I'm too busy overthinking and having a constant anxiety attack ( exaggeration ) about nothing

[campirefangs]

[wanderingmind867]

Great! F***ing great! I hate my period 1 class, but the school was so slow that now there's nothing left for me to switch to! I want to break something and scream in someone's face! So now I almost want to stop going to school again! But I probably won't do that. But instead, I'll be stuck with 1 class. That's annoying, but at least it'll give me way more time to read. But I already had a meltdown and screamed at my dad again, so I didn't take the news well initially. Now me and my dad are going for a walk, so I can and cool my f***ing head.

[bibiana112]

One of my favorite character traits that Junpei has is how as much as he's protective and caring to his favorite people and impulsively jumps into danger to help others if he has an opportunity to without wanting anything in return and highly values the promises he makes he just seems to also always be more curious than he is sensible or empathetic, he gets so caught up on the horrors he sees but he has such a hard time looking away, he's right to analyze and be intrigued by the ninth man's remains but he stands around staring at it until he pukes, in the showers you can interact with the wall behind which lies "Snake's" corpse and he will pick up more details about it each time you click on it until he has to mentally rip himself away because it's not that he can't keep looking at it it's that he better look away and focus on getting out, and the way he talks to Clover about the body with every minutiae she wouldn't want to hear is like his brain connects faster to his mouth than it can connect to his sense of morality sometimes which I guess turned out to be a good thing in this one case or just good common sense in general like there's other minor things he blurts out at times, he's stated to not have tact be his strongest suit, he's insensitive on accident trying to fumble through interactions even if he's entirely confident on what he's saying he's soo sharp when he has a goal in mind but he's soo dense if he's trying to just exist my man is so traumatized and his brain always seems to default to taking the most of any given situation in as possible to desensitize himself instead of any other response and sometimes it pushes his mind to be so single mindedly entranced on not ending up that way too that he'll describe a mangled body in excruciating detail to a grieving relative even if that's his friend and even if he feels guilty about it immediately as soon as he catches up with what just left his mouth instead of staying in his thoughts

[mossy-rot]

reading about autistic meltdowns is crazy. in retrospect maybe that time i ended up sobbing self isolating and lashing out at people because I couldn't figure out how to set up my laptop the same way it had been before might've been because of The Autism

[vaugarde]

... probably sucks to be autistic in vaugarde tbh

[dandyshucks]

man I can't even be mean to myself w the idea of Guz anymore djfkdl its been so cemented in my brain that he loves me that i tried to be angry-mean at myself during a breakdown a little while ago and tried to tell myself that he'd be disgusted w me and hate me but i honestly didnt believe that at all and it felt silly to even say it to myself 😭😭 all i could see in my mind's eye was him being worried and trying to help, i couldn't even conjure up the idea of him hating me or being angry w me 😭😭 and now i feel a little silly like maybe im crazy for being so convinced that he'd love me but aaaaaauugghh okay im not gonna go into some sort of stupid morality spiral over that omfg its literally fine. I am not a bad person for thinking fictional character would love me. even if its not Normal™ i dont think it's actually hurting anyone or immoral. its fine its fine its fine lol

[six-of-ravens]

hmmmm i know going up to banff on the friday of the long weekend is probably a bad idea, but also what if i went to banff on my birthday?

[monstersandmaw]

non-drider fans who follow me, you can come out again now. I've reached the end of my drider reblogging frenzy. i'm going to go write the drider lad commission, and then maybe make some dinner so you're safe from spooders for now