#currently jumping up and down
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my family was sitting in the living room together, and my dad goes, "y'know what movie i haven't seen in a while? that guardians movie." so ofc, me being autistic me, i go, "the rise of the guardians?" and hes like, "yeah, the one with jack frost." dude i shit you not i wanted to scream AHHH. this is the only time one of my hyperfixations/special interests have ever been brought up in a positive way (or even at all) without me promting it (star wars doesnt count since my dad is also a huge fan). i was so excited, i just had to share that because i am STILL feeling that excitment AHHH!!!!
#rotg#rise of the guardians#jack frost#hyperfixation#special interest#actually neurodiverse#currently jumping up and down#excitedly
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How in the fuck-
#Sableye#pobble the sableye#lucario#mug the lucario#she got herself up there somehow but she isn't brave enough to jump like a foot down#needed a chair to rescue the little damsel#she is currently refusing to leave my arms#mug went back to sleep right away though. lowkey jealous#pokemon irl#pokeblr#rotomblr#pokemon rp#pokeblogging#pokemon#poke rp#ic
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The star was particularly bright when the nightmare painter started his rounds.
The star. Singular. No, not a sun. Just one star. A bullet hole in the midnight sky, bleeding pale light.
Yumi and the Nightmare Painter, Brandon Sanderson
#yumi and the nightmare painter#I'm currently holding this book#and jumping up and down#at mach 5#brandon sanderson#cosmere#booklr#mypics#books#books and flowers#bookblr#open books#illustration#art#aliya chen
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Oh I’m so normal about him (she says, planning to buy at least 3 more books on this guy)
#beyond band of brothers just arrived today!!! *jumps up and down*#currently reading biggest brother which is just 🫠🫠🫠#head over heels doesn’t even cover it#band of brothers#dick winters#bob books
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getting into ben 10 is so sad bc I binge the entire OS and am like wow cant wait for more and then every other series doesnt have the things I liked about OS and even casual fans online say that 10yo Ben's character in OS is more compelling than all the others but theres barely any of him after OS
#how did that episode in ultimate alien when it brought back 10yo ben make him 10 times more compelling#but only his 10yo self and not his current self in the show#but fr it was so sad learning that they immediately jumped straight to a 5 year timeskip after OS#plus artstule change plus recast plus major personality shift plus redesign#like looking at alien force ben next to OS ben idk who the hell that is bc thats not ben#its fine like im chill with just being neutral/uninterested in the later series and just sticking with OS#thats the power of fandom#i dislike his omniverse characterization but that doesnt mean i dont love rook#and i wont stick him into OS as a self indulgent au#theres also multiple things i like about the later series for sure tho like#1 rook like i just said but also#ben and gwens relationship. i love that they didnt play around with them in AF#and doom dimension likeee#i dont like how theyre written in AF and UA but that stuff is bomb#i think it all boils down to me wishing the show didnt feel split up in eras with different versions of the characters#and it was more linear#like instead of instant 5 year timeskip it was like. now ben and gwen are 11 or 12. maybe even 13#it shows more development that isnt just a huge jump from 0 to 100#ben getting more mature is the natural progression of his character but also#its the fact that they gave him major development in OS then changed everybody so jarringly they didnt even feel like the same characters#like theres a reason OS ben is the most compelling#it should have been more linear close together and less broken up in my opinion#pandas.txt#they just made ben look so normal and boring in most of the clips ive seen in the later series#plus not even feeling like the same guy#maybe ill try and watch the reboot#it rlly is chill tho bc im fine with just liking OS its a great show#anything i wanted to see i can just think of in my head myself and now i have a bunch of stuff to play around with#once i get more into it#bc this show is so fun and great and i love it i rlly do wanna stick with it
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like they updated everyone’s bios in october of last year and imo just saying kuukou speaks vulgar as hell and doesn’t act at all like a monk does plenty to show he’s got an attitude problem in his old bio so why change it to something that can be transliterated as ‘violent criminal behaviour towards others’ if you weren’t about to focus on it 😭😭😭😭😭😭
#vee queued to fill the void#like idk lol!!!! kuukou is still a very violent baby lol but the violence has shifted from his middle school days to his nb/current era day#like he’s always smacked around people doing wrong lmao but there’s a difference between him beating someone senseless#while spitting the coldest bar ‘he begged you to stop but did you??’ to get him to see the error of his ways#versus chasing some hooligans down the street and threatening them with his training in order to get them to change lol#or even the rhyme anima way where he beat them up and then sat down with them to get them to change#like jyushi and hitoya are the forefront of bat’s stories dealing with bullying since bullying got people they loved killed#but what about kuukou???? kuukou with his first story about saving a kid from being bullied????#where kuukou sees the signs of bullying and looks a little uncomfortable to see it????#where kuukou solemnly stops ren from jumping off the building and brings up human sacrifice a little later?????#where he swears to help ren and tells him he needs to live his life without regrets and giving the most complicated smile i have ever seen#the very dark smiles in the fight whenever he chided them for their weaknesses#and the monstrous expression on his face when the bully tried to get him to stop ITS JUST—#it’s just kuukou’s gotta have a relationship with bullying as well 😭😭😭😭😭#there was a time in arb when jyushi lied to kuukou and i think it’s relevant to this particular thought but tbc lol
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I wasn't even keeping up with the MHA manga but I did read the last three chapters without context and I've already decided how to fix the ending for my Self Insert
#mha manga spoilers#bnha manga spoilers#The League is not dead first of all that's a really Fucked Up ending#Instead they all end up in Critical Condition and the Public is told they're dead#(Including my S/I who is currently in captivity for conspiring with the League)#Jump cut to months later All Might comes to visit me and says there's someone who wants to see me#So cuffed and blinded I ride in his car to a secure location#Said location turns out to be a spare dormitory on UA grounds#And inside- is the League!#They'd been waiting until they'd all woken up and been released for the Hospital before letting us all see eachother#We're all sat down (piled on one couch holding on however we can) and told the situation#The plan was change our names and ship us off to another country with dedicated surveillance#So we can have our second chance in piece#But rebuilding Japan is taking a LOT of resources so we all have to sit tight at UA until they have funds to spare again#Which will be a few years#In the meantime we get lots of visitors! The Todorokis come over every night to make dinner#All Might and Izuku come to sit and talk with Tomura an hour or so a day#Ochaco spends every spare moment between Rebuild work with Himiko either in the house or wandering school grounds#And after probably a full year or better of this life Nezu comes to me with a proposal of making the League official UA staff#They have a perspective that is very important to young heroes now a days and plenty of experience on the field#It's keep us under surveillance without forcing us to move away from the families we've just reconnected to#And that's how both Tomura and Izuku can be UA Teachers together <3
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For all my ideas I’ve bought a huuuuge notebook, and every idea I have I sprawl the key points on its own page.
Then I randomly pick a page and that’s the idea I settle on if my heads to wild to settle on.
Interesting! I don't have a problem on settling on an idea, I have a problem of hyperfixating on an idea and wanting it to be ready as soon as possible so I can share it, and then physically being unable to type fast enough to produce it at the rate I want to!
#tanco speaks#ask#asks#i also do t have a problem of coming up with ideas#i know exactly how a story will end before ive written the first word#It's just a matter of running the writing down before i get excited about the next idea and jump to that instead#like i think bitch me changing currents and a cat by any other name have 2-3 chapters left for any of them#but im so hyped to work on other things i keep putting them off
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Don't tell my mom but this new puppy loves me the most
#her name is lacey she's a bichon and we brought her home sunday#she's supposed to be support for my mom's disability but she is obsessed w me#im not even trying to make her love me especially. she just does 😖💖💖#if i had to guess she feels protected by me bc she sees me mediate between her and dickens who she is afraid of#dickens is being a very gentle boy w her#which he NEVER is bc he's a big dumb oaf#but yeah the thing is no matter how gentle he is. he's still 42 lbs and she's less than 5 currently#she's never seem a dog larger than another bichon so naturally she's intimidated by his size#he wants to play w her so bad#tales from diana#actually just now kaily and i took them both outside on leashes and i kept her on another side of the yard#and she was watching him (unobserved by him) from a distance and started walking towards him#and gesturing like she wanted to play! so kaily brought him over and they jumped up and down a little#oh it was so wonderful! that was their first time really playing. dickens tried to initiate play once or twice but it scared her#ive tried to get her used to being in the same room as dickens and just nearer and nearer so she's comfy#and she can see that he doesn't mean any harm toward her.#he's a big dumb oaf but he's friendly and he likes you baby girl#again ive never seen dickens so patient and gentle w anything in his life. it's heartwarming#and he finally has another friend which is great. he's obsessed w other dogs
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Waterways
#horizon forbidden west#hfw#hfw photomode#i think this was the first time i ever went down the waterfall#mostly because i wanted to see if the current was strong enough to just drag aloy with it#without me doing anything#it somewhat was?#but there's also some shallows before the waterfalls so she gets up and stands there#while her ankles are getting the intense washing cycle#....there was a time when i jumped off one of the waterfalls in the jewel in hzd#to see if there was a way to make it down unharmed#you could do it if you aimed properly#but i died so many times figuring that out#good times
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my art summary for 2023! this year was very all over the place for me, but i'm glad to say that i've created despite personal hardships (that were mostly unrelated to art) 🥺 thank you everyone for taking a look at my work this year! 💙 i hope 2024 will be just as fun! 🎉
some documentation of my feelings about art this year under the cut:
i think i was way too hard on myself this year with my art. and i am sitting here like. "goddamn dude. why would you do that to yourself for. stop that LOL"
honestly i would go in a time machine to give myself a pat on the back for drawing SPLATOON for the first time in like 6 years or something. trying to learn the proportions and figuring out how i wanted to draw splatoon was very hard. and i still don't know what i want my splatoons to look like!
i remember back in late 2019 i would bitch to my friend that i didn't understand how face anatomy worked and i would tell her how it was the end of the world. but as i drew more i eventually understood faces better (and i'm still learning!). funny how that works! so i like to think my sploons will be like this too :D
the other thing i would have told 2023 me: overthink less about the learning process. maybe it's because i have way too much free time on my hands but. when i'm not actively drawing i have a lot of analysis paralysis and perfectionism. so i end up not starting anything out of my comfort zone even if it's just for practice because my brain is so hung up on trying to "learn new things optimally" and making things "good enough." and. i. guys.
pleasepleasepleaseplease don't do that to yourself its NOT GOOD!! give urself permission to fuck up and make pieces that dont work out!! u can always revisit the concept later u dont have to do it perfectly the first time!! please!!! i am giving myself and anyone else reading permission to fuck up in creative endeavors. woo!!! i love making mistakes and fixing them later!!
THAT SAID for the things i did sit down and do, i like them (like the pieces here!)! and i'm glad i did them because its like! woaw! more data to work with! so im hoping to do more of that next year! sit down and let art come out! not everything needs to be bangers! things will click eventually! trust!!
so my goal for 2024 is to draw things out of my comfort zone (mostly backgrounds, maybe comics) even if it looks shite!!! no more fucking grid and gradient we are putting characters in LOCATIONS!!! and as a fun bonus it would be funny if each of my pieces in my art summary next year looks like it was made by a different person. because i think its funny to do that. and u should make urself laugh while doing anything :D (i love silly!!! yay!! yipee!! wahoo!!)
#lizzy does art#lizzy speaks#the december one is unreleased bc they're part of a thingy im working on. they're just extracts from my current wip compiled on a grid#as u can see i don't have a consistent style (that's the goal babey!). or maybe you think it's consistent! idk! i look at my own art more#than anyone else would probably FKLDHSLFDH#idk i went and said drawing this year is going to be like jumping up and down on a mattress LMAOO. whatever that means#anyway SERIOUSLY THOUGH LIZZY LOVES U ALL VERY MUCH. thankie for the fun tags and nice words and any support!#i wish every fellow creative a good brain year ahead and that ur brain is ur ally! do shit scared! yipee!!! learning!! wahoo! bye!!!#and maybe i'll do other fun things next year too! like more video editing. it was really nice to rediscover my love for it again!!
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also gettin back into the vast umbrella of vaporwave/lofi(?ithinkitscalled) recently and. yeah. it was there for me before it’s still doing the same thing for me now
#it’s one of those genres you can jump into and out of again anytime#i first got into it through the macintosh plus 420 memes back in the day around 2015#i was havin really long and really uncomfortable dissociative epsiodes then. things were bad. but vaporwave described how i felt perfectly.#summed it all up. i Have found genres since which really resonate with me but this is the greatest example of… idk.#that state of ''expressing urself through the music you like at current time'' since i was a teenager.#it’s so good. i think everyone could like at least a little vaporwave.#it's a rabbithole u can get lost down <3#(disclaimer things are not so bad btw :) not as bad as before at least)#(i always said about death grips:#'i hope i can still enjoy them when things are better in the future as much as [i did at that time when things were bad]' and i do!#no association with the bad times like i'd feared! :')#dg arent vaporwave lol i was just making a comparison between these ''musics that perfectly describe your feelings at the time''
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I'm an OTW member again!
THANK YOU @petralemaitre !
If y'all want to get a membership scholarship before June 30th so you can register and be able to vote in the next OTW election, get all the deets here:
(the post is worth reading even if you don't want the scholarship; it's about End OTW Racism and it's such an accurate write-up of my own thoughts on why I'm involved too, I was like, "wow sharing a brain with a total stranger is so heckin' weird")
Very much lookin' forward to exercising my right to vote! Let's dooooo this!
#unforth rambles#i haven't been a member in a few years cause money's been to tight#and i'd been thinking about trying to scrounge up the money this time because it feels really important#so i was so so so thrilled to see this offer going around and I jumped right on it#it's also aptly timed cause i have to vote in my local election today or tomorrow too#time to uselessly vote against our mayor again lmao#to be fair i don't mind our mayor he's a democrat and he usually runs unopposed in the general election#i've met him a few times and he officiated our wedding he's an okay dude#but he's an old conventional white dude and every primary he gets challenged by someone and it's different people each time#but they're always black women who are much more liberal#one guess who i vote for#the black women keep getting closer to winning so maybe one of these years???#two of the past elections the black woman in question was actually our neighbor down the street so that was a plus#i'm less familiar with this year's person but I'll still vote for her she's the current city council president i think#also i'm lmao this makes where we live sound sooooo small#it's not there are like 65000 people here it's just a coincidence
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I love my cat sm
#💭 — ⌗nervo rambles . ★#tw vent#putting that there .....#but I went down a negative spiral and whenever I do that gender dysphoria kicks my ass#and Tuxiedo wasn't on my bed so all I could do was hold on to my plush and cry#but I felt him come and jump up on my bed from my window#and I turned around and he pretty much immediately came to lay on my chest#ik that he doesn't know something/someone putting weight on my chest rlly helps me when I get like this#(it helps with me not feeling hyper aware of my chest and is just a general comfort thing for me that rlly only my cat does)#but just having him do that comforted me a whole lot#and since he got off I'm just hugging said plush to my chest to try and help#which it does#but it's also led to me not being able to move even an inch bc I always get hyper aware of my chest#It always happens#I stay frozen when it gets rlly bad and I just just wanna throw up my insides and rip my hair out sometimes and I just hold my plush close#too much? probably#I get kinda violent to myself with my thoughts#very gorey would not recommend#but I'm not gonna say them in detail here#but yeah Tuxiedo getting up and comforting me was rlly nice#I love him :33#and my bad for getting negative on main fellas 🙏🙏#need to shower but who knows if that'll make my current horrendous gender dysphoria worse#(it will bc I have to look at myself in the mirror every time I go to get in the shower and I get sick just looking at myself)#also Over & Over by Rio Romeo rlly had to start playing during this 💀💀#“Over and over I fuck myself over�� lyric hitting more than usual 💔💔
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Found the Earthbore Cave.
#i did catch all the messages saying “trap” yes but i mean i didn't expect it that quick#and the boss of said cave#ma'am#rune bears are difficult enough on horseback#it went down like a damn samurai flick we were both down to one hit left and i only -just- managed to jump heavy attack it first#the clench was nuclear#now cemetery shades on the other hand#amazingly spooky yes but it went down in 20 seconds without even one bottle used hn oh well#(bloodhound's fang is currently the weapon of choice though i do have to level-up-endurance myself out of heavy load at the moment)#and @ everyone who keep leaving “try rump” comments near any pike-shaped thing sticking out of the ground yeah you're fucking hilarious#ølden ring#that one huge beach with the dozens and dozens of skeletal undead was just uncanny#i assume they've all completely given up and are wanting to leave that's so sad#(ganked them all for cheap runes ha)
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still upset with my boss so offloading my email once again while i’m off tomorrow!
#eris: text#and it was super upsetting today cause he was mad at my other coworker and slammed a computer down right in front of me#like i visibly jumped and was shaken for the rest of the day#cause like that’s something my parents do! instead of explaining what’s wrong! so it genuinely deeply triggered me and i was so anxious#i threw up at work! like that’s not okay! and it’s just so crazy because before last thursday he has NEVER#made me feel unsafe or uncomfortable at work and so this complete 180 is fucking with me so bad#and my one coworker who tried talking about it got written up! and told talking about it was gossiping and it’s just… awful vibes at work#currently for literally no reason and i hate it
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