#cruise drug case

[seilon]

so the antihistamine i took yesterday was not an antihistamine but, in fact, off-brand paxil from mexico. so. that explains a lot

[marilynthornhilllover]

I know that you love me, you don't need to remind me,

Emily. P x Jennifer. J x Fem!Reader

Warning: talk of drug consumption, reader is high, mood swings, use of guns (weed) , bad flirting, mommy kink, praise kink, teasing, cringe kiss etc .

A/n: I saw that new jennifer and emily episode where Emily was high and they were so cute! Had to make a fic😌

It was that quite long awaited time of the year where criminal agents are given two weeks off from work. You were beyond exhausted but nevertheless was very happy to finally be able to take off your FBI vest and feeling relieved that you won't have to be picking it up for another week or so.

You soon realized that you literally didn't have plans arranged for the upcoming two weeks ahead, or even tonight. Everyone was pairing up as they packed up their office stuff and headed out. Spencer and Derek laughed and gave eachother a high five as they made their way downstairs to sign out while Emily and jj were already giggling about some random joke as they continued to pack up.

You nervously decided to walk up to them standing in the corridor like a shadow making sure not to seem creepy— but maybe you were doing the opposite. Ever since you joined the team, yes you did make friends but no one ever went the extra mile to offer to hang out with you. Only Emily would now and then eat lunch with you at her desk.

Jennifer wasn't bad either, she did offer to help you with a case file once, you went over to her house which you complimented her for the cozy interior, and yes the boys were also good to you but on a employee holiday like this no one was paying any attention whatsoever to you. They already plans of their own.

You on the other hand, had none, all you were gonna do was shower, eat, sleep and repeat for the next week or so. Nothing productive, not as if you had anything to do either. Prentiss and Mantegna had insisted that someone help you with case files so its not as if you have a major cade to crack over the holiday.

You were as free as a bird and your energetic self needed something to reinforce that energy into. If you could have went on a cruise for two weeks you definitely would have.

Emily scoffed at Jennifer's joke before turning around and spotting you cuddled up in the corner like a little mouse. She tilted her head to the side before approaching you with a warm smile.

" hey hon, you got any plans for the holiday?" She asked chewing a piece of gum that she had been for the entire day — somtimes you wonder if any flavour at all is still existence in it.

" uhh nope, but I'll sure my couch has plans for me though" you said sarcastically and of course she laughed, because Emily laughs at anything and everything which you did find cute. Emily always made sure that she kept everyone at a level where they felt at their absolute best when around her.

She was never mean to anyone really. Always funny, ambitious, smart and talented she was everything. Sometimes her aura was just too high, but she was always still approachable and not prideful.

Emily was like one of those drugs that you couldn't stop using because it feels too good, and when you do take it, it altars with your entire brain function and chemistry.

And speaking of chemistry, that was something you and Emily had alot of. Everytime her eyes made contact with yours, you felt as if your body was thrown into the deepest pits of hell. You'd get shivers everytime she passed you or called you a pet name. You'd go completely weak in your knees when she made the littlest amount of psychical contact with your skin — it was absolutely ridiculous just how easily she could get under your skin.

Or the time when you were making coffee in the kitchen and she needed to grab something from the top shelf and she moved you by putting her hands on your hips, with her chest pressed so closely against your back with face by your neck.

Emily made you question things. You knew you always had a thing for older women, always, since highschool and it never seemed to go away. And Emily was exactly your type, you just weren't sure if she felt the same way in return and you didn't wanna ruin the amazing friendship you both had by letting your stupid emotions and hormones get the best of yourself.

" well I'm sure you'll find something to entertain yourself, JJ and I are hooking up at her place tonight for snacks and a movie" she placed hands on her hips are she turned to look at jj who was texting away on her phone before turning back to you. You gaved her a akward smile, before a breathy nervous laugh escaped your mouth.

" hooking up huh" you saw as her eye brows quirked before a sly smile came into evidence on her face and quickly glanced at Jennifer who was now angrily texting before taking a step closer towards you, closing the the last gap space that was there. Her body heat and perfume over took your senses making your breath hitch.

You pressed your palm against her chest sneaking a quick glance at jj and the camera above. Emily was looking at you with a teasing smirk, she leaned down besides your ear and whispered.

" do wanna hook up with me as well?" She pulled back to see the reaction on your face and just as she imagined it was absolutely priceless. She chuckled before pulling away completely.

" oh my God emily would you leave poor y/n alone, let's go already" Jennifer said with a tint of exhaustion and annoyance her voice. Emily chuckled before gently caressing your cheek. The both women waved you goodbye before departing and going their way.

You sighed before picking up your bag and leaving, you locked your office door and went home. You did decided to walk with a few case files home and evidence objects to keep yourself busy during the holiday to stop yourself from going insane from the intense boredom you were prone to have.

— — — —

Emily and Jennifer had just sat down and were about to enjoy their late afternoon with wine and salt and vinegar chips when a continuation of loud knocking could be heard on jj's front door. Both women looked at eachother with utter confusion on their faces — the weren't expecting anyone. Jennifer decided to get up and go check the door, Emily following closely behind with her hand placed tightly on her gun.

The door bell soon started ringing along with the knocks which triggered Jennifer even more. Unlocking the door Jennifer threw it open, not caring what stood on the opposite side of it, after all emily was ready to protect her best friend at all cost, even if it meant shooting someone in their foor.

" if I had my way I swear I would—" as soon as she saw you she stopped talking, her eye brows quirked as she squinted her eyes to make a better appearance of your face in the dim moon light. Emily let out a soft sigh when she saw you but quickly went back into a state of worry at the same time.

Now you had both women wondering what you were doing at their house.

" y/n? I didn't know you were coming over, did Emily invite you?" Jennifer turned around hoping to get a confirmation nod from Emily but she shook her head and pursed her lips, letting her know she was just as confused as her.

" Well aren't you guys a bit rude, aren't you gonna invite me in?" You muttered but before they could react you let yourself in. You carefully walked down the long fancy corridor switching off some lights on your way because they made your eyes burn, making your way to the living room area, having knowing your way around jj's house since the last two times you were there.

You stumbled over the coffee table and landed right onto the sofa, face first with a soft groan. You dropped the ziplock bag of cheese puffs you had brought onto the floor.

She walked up to you and you and sat beside you on the couch, she picked you up by both your forearms and made you look at her.

Both women side eyed eachother, both in desperate need to know what on God's green earth was going on. Jennifer leaned against the wall to further scrutinize you. Emily on the other hand was just worried how you got here on your own with no car or phone.

" hey y/n sweetie are you..... drunk?" Her voice sounded like when water got into a phone speaker and you tried to play a song— you couldn't understand it. You rubbed your eyes and glanced at the table to which your face instantly lit up when you saw the salt and vinegar lays chips.

You grabbed them ferociously then took out some chopsticks you had stuffed in the back pocket of your jeans and started eating the chips. At this point both women were flabbergasted, mouths open, jaws dropped. Jennifer took a deep breath before she turned around and went to her fridge to grab you a drink to help you sober up because it was crystal clear that you were beyond drunk, drunk was an understatement.

" what time is it?" You suddenly asked putting the chips down and dusting off your hands.

" time for some hydration, here you go" Jennifer said as she passed you a bottle of cold cranberry juice. Once again your face lit up like a child on Christmas day.

" ohhhh, it's got what plants crave!" You exclaimed. The look on Jennifer's face when you said that was priceless as Emily silently continued to look at you with a completely blanket stare.

You placed the bottle of juice at the side of your head as if it was an ice pack and burped. You cleared your throat before speaking up again.

" have you guys seen that movie! Idiot city!.... wait city Idiot... wait... yeah" it's like your body was replaced with a child's and this called for huge concern. Emily sighed heavily and took the bottle from your hand.

" Idiocracy?" Jennifer whispered and you nodded.

" I knew I liked you! Ohhh, I and on my way here I saw a cat jumping off your house roof then it turned into a dog and flew away as a mosquito" you said before the loudest laugh took you over that you almost started crying.

Emily whispered " oh good lord" before she shook her head, Jennifer was still completely and totally lost for words. Jennifer had a feeling that being drunk would not cause someone to behave like this— well of course she knew, she's a profiler. She had a feeling you were high, but she didn't want you to act out and she would need proof for Emily because knowing her she wouldn't believe for a minute you would do drugs.

" umm y/n what's in the bag?" Jennifer asked and your eyebrows quirked, you placed your finger at you ear urging her to repeat even though she was so damn close to you.

" What's in the bag" she repeated as she dragged her words this time. You shrugged.

" I don't know what time the supermarket closes" emily stood up and walked towards to kitchen to grab her phone, you had the agent stressed. Jennifer just took it upon herself to grab the bag of " cheese puffs" before she walked towards emily.

" look I know you may not believe but I have a pretty good feeling that, that girl right there is literally the profound definition of what we call high" emily scoffed.

" Oh come on, she probably had too much wine I mean weren't we just about to drink wine as well?" She restated trying to convince Jennifer, but honestly to this rate she just couldn't, Jennifer was already convinced from her own opinion.

" emily elizabeth prentiss which wine do you know makes someone this drunk?" Jennifer asked, emphasizing on the last two words of her sentence. Emily shrugged before looking back at you, who was now sniffing the air every two seconds like a curious dog. Jennifer rolled her eyes before opening the bag of cheese puffs and taking a sniff.

She gaged before pulling away quickly.

" this smells like straight up weed!" She swiftly turned to let Emily have a sniff, to which Emily pulled away as well. Jennifer closed the bag and turned it around where there was writing in black. " DO NOT OPEN, CONTAINS CASE 101 EVIDENCE".

" you ate the case evidence! Oh my god!" Jennifer looked like she was going to erupt like a volcano and her high pitched tone of voice was making your head hurt and ears ring.

" I was hungry, and I didn't know that they were edibles" you whispered as you squinted your eyes since it was getting harder to see. Jennifer looked at you in disbelief as she turned to Emily for back up. Before Emily could utter a word Jennifer was already furious.

" Emily, don't even! She basically ate the entire bag!" She shouted. She saided pacing the room with her fingers gently massaging her temple to calm her.

" what are we gonna tell hotch, or even worst David" Jennifer covered her face with her both her hands before leaning over the kitchen counter.

" Well I mean, she probably just ate the backup stash, it should be fine, we should really be worrying about is her health" emily muttered scratching her head. Jennifer looked up at emily as her jaw dropped.

" your defending her?!" Emily raised her hands in defense but before she could reply Jennifer took the chance.

" I seriously cannot believe you right now!" Jennifer once again, started pacing the room, this time even more quicker.

" Oh come on jj, what are the odds that people make silly mistakes like these?" Jennifer stopped, and looked at emily with wide eyes.

" Well with the odds as high as her I'd say zero!" She said angrily before picking up her phone.

Emily sighed before looking over at you who was now eating the chips and gnawing your teeth wildly making crumbs fall all over the place. In a way Emily felt bad for you, mostly pity because she knew what you did was down right stupid but Jennifer was being a tadbit too harsh on you in your current position — knowing you couldn't properly comprehend the situation or what was going on.

" ok I'll take her home and we can speak to the team about this tomorrow when y/n is a better state of mind, ok?" Emily said in a reassuring voice. Jennifer sighed in frustration before biting her lip and nodding approvingly.

Emily carefully picked you up off the couch and wrapped her arm around your waist as she insisted to take you home safely. Her body warmth was comforting and her perfume was like a lullaby putting you to sleep this time. You melted in her embrace as she took you outside.

Your vision was blurred and the cold air on your skin — although you had a jacket on, was making you shiver. Seeing this emily hugged you tighter. She opened the door to her wagon and assisted you into the passenger seat and putting on your seat belt for you. You looked at her, she looked like one of those ancient paintings,the ones you can't withdraw your eyes from, the Renaissance ones.

You weren't sure if maybe it was the drugs or the hormones that came after taking the drugs but you felt the need to kiss emily, your eyes flicked down to her lips that were slightly parted as she concentrated on getting the seatbelt to adjust to your liking. Her smooth skin and wrinkled lines that ran across her forehead and eye line area, her little cute eye bags from all the hard work she does.

You couldn't resist the urge, she was a drug, she was your drug. You licked your lips and leaned in. Your lips connected with hers in a slow soft kiss. You closed your eyes and allowed yourself to enjoy the moment. Emily didn't pull away, she was surprised yes, but she didn't pull away. Emily couldn't cover up the feeling she felt for you but she also didn't want to take advantage of your drunken state.

Taking it that she was enjoying it as much as you, you tried to force your tongue into her mouth but that's when she pulled away. Your brows furrowed and for a moment the drugs may have returned your common sense and you realized what you did — what you were trying to do. And soon the embarrassment and cringe settled in.

" sorry, oh God I'm so stupid!" You whispered as you fought back tears, you covered your face with both hands and started sobbing. Emily sprinted around to the drivers seat to comfort you. She gently peeled your hands away from your face, holding your palms in hers she caressed them with her knuckles softly. You sniffed and shook your head in denial before looking out the window.

" hey, sweetheart look at me please" her voice was as soft as an angel and so gentle as if you were something valuable that could be broken, that's something you loved about emily, she was so comforting in all circumstances, no matter what. She placed her hand under your jaw and turned you to look at her. She stared at you with her cute Bambi eyes so filled of love, and she so badly wanted to say " I love you" but she knew you wouldn't be able to comprehend them.

" look y/n, i wanna— kiss you back but I can't. That doesn't mean I don't want to, I just want you to be able to give me your full sober concent." She spoke as slowly and clearly as possible so you won't misinterpret anything.

" and your not stupid, we all make mistakes my love. Once I accidentally— well I got drunk the morning of my Law exams and failed them, and that did set me at a disadvantage for my career but I still made it into this job" she continued to rub your knuckles and wip every tear that fell from your eyes.

" and this joke takes y/n, but it also gives.... it gave—" she took a deep breath before exhaling heavily. " it gave me you." Hearing these words made your heart flutter souly. Your little smile came across your face which emily mirrored.

" now, my sweet girl, my I take you home?" She spoke in a old French accent waving her hand a fancy motion, You both laughed until you were out of air. after the laughter died down She chuckled and placed a hand on your thigh squeezing the tender flesh which made your breath hitch.

The drive home was long but certainly not quiet at all, you and Emily blasted high 2000s music all the way until she arrived at your home. You knew there was gonna be alot to discuss the next day but you should be fine once you have emily by your side.

[babymetaldoll]

"Embarrassed" (Spencer Reid x fem!bau reader)

Category: hardcore fluff, friends to lovers. Warnings: Cursing, Spencer being a little asshole, the BAU being nosy as usual. Summary: Spencer embarrassed himself in front of reader, and the annual FBI beach trip could be the perfect place to make things even more awkward between them.  Requested: Nop A/N: I wrote this for @imagining-in-the-margins Summer Challenge, hope you guys enjoy it. Prompts used: - He has a degree in engineering. How can he be defeated by a sandcastle? - I don't really like the beach... Sandy food, pink skin, limited and unengaging topography, but mostly drug-resistant bacteria spread by seagull feces. - It's like Hotch at the beach- - Next summer we are doing the Alaskan cruise. Masterlist

- “Explain to me again why I have to spend time with you during the weekend when we just spent eleven days working on a case in Oakland?”- Rossi asked as the entire BAU Team walked into a beautiful cabin by the sea, prepared especially for them.

- “Because we have to do the team training, along with all the paperwork it includes. But at least we have a nice view.”- Hotch explained, opening a window, staring at the deep blue ocean in front of them.

- “For once, I’m glad we have to do this stupid program.”- Morgan commented and took off his shirt. - “Sand, sun, and babes, that’s all I need to enjoy my weekend.”

- “We have to get ready for Strauss lecture.”- (Y/N) pointed out and tossed his shirt back- “Please, put this back on. I don’t wanna see your tits around the house.”

Spencer chuckled at those words and Morgan turned to him immediately.

- “What are you laughing about, pretty Ricky? Are there other tits you wanna see around the house?”- Morgan teased his friends, who turned blood red in a minute, coughed, and walked away, to hide in a room, slamming the door behind his back. (Y/N) raised an eyebrow and crossed her arms on her chest.

- “You love making him feel uncomfortable, don’t you?”

- “Come on! We all know he has the hots for you, little Mama. When are you going to do something about it?”

- “He is my friend, with a capital F.”

- “You could be doing the capital F if you stopped being so stubborn.”- Morgan replied and turned around. He knew he had crossed the line and didn’t want to give (Y/N) the chance to smack him for being nosy.

Yes, everybody knew Spencer was in love with (Y/N). It wasn’t really a secret after he blurted it out by accident on a supermarket mic during a case investigation in front of the whole team. The entire incident was way too embarrassing to even recall, and the BAU had pretended it never happened. Everybody except Morgan, of course. He loved teasing Spencer every chance he got. The whole episode had been messy, and though it had been a few weeks already, (Y/N) still didn’t have a chance to talk with Spencer about it, and he kept acting like it never happened. That weekend’s Team Training Program at the beach was the perfect chance to fix things between them.

If only Spencer dared talk to her first.

Around half an hour later, a very unhappy team walked out of their cabin, ready to deal with whichever activities Strauss and headquarters had planned for them. The FBI had rented an entire villa for the weekend, to host their annual team training program. Rossi hated the idea, Spencer hated the beach. Hotch hated the fact he was wasting time he could be spending with Jake. JJ hated missing Henry’s soccer game, Garcia hated having to work out so much, and Prentiss hated the fact she couldn’t just lay on a chair at the beach with a drink and just tan a little.

(Y/N) and Morgan were the only ones excited to be there. Morgan still thought he could get a girl, and (Y/N) just wanted to spend a little time with Spencer, and maybe ask him out on a date. After all, a weekend at the beach was the perfect scenario to finally talk about what happened and maybe do something about it.

- “Beach activities are a great way to bring a team together.”- Strauss announced as she walked in front of at least 50 FBI agents. All of them, BAU included, wore dark blue short sleeve shirts with the FBI logo, and grey shorts. Everybody except Rossi, of course. He stood among them smoking a cigar and wearing his everyday outfit.

- “All the team-building games you are about to go through, were designed to promote communication, cooperation, and creativity. They will help our agents build trust, learn to delegate tasks, and enhance problem-solving skills.”

- “Sounds like a boy scout’s speech”- Rossi whispered to Prentiss and she did her best not to chuckle. But of course, Strauss noticed and immediately raised an eyebrow in disapproval.

- “You’ve all been designated with a number, that’s your team. Please form your teams so we can start the first activity.”

(Y/N) sighed, already annoyed. She understood the idea of having to go through a team seminar to improve one’s relationship with their team, but having to know other agents and talk with strangers… wasn’t really into her plans.

- “Hey….”- Spencer whispered as he stood next to her in the middle of the beach, right next to a bunch of agents neither of them had met before.- “I… I think we are on the… same team.”- Reid managed to say, and continued staring at his feet in the sand.

- “That’s great!!”- (Y/N) replied, maybe a little bit too enthusiastically. - “We haven’t… it’s been… well, we haven’t had the chance to talk much lately.”- she knew why they hadn’t talked. It was weird. Still, neither of them had addressed the pink elephant in the room, he just nodded and didn’t say another word for a few minutes.

- “Did you put on sunscreen?”- she asked and Spencer turned to look at her with wide-opened eyes.

- “Ye... yes, yes, I did. I always do”- he stuttered and started rambling right away- “Did you know daily use of SPF 15 sunscreen can reduce your risk of developing squamous cell carcinoma by about 40 percent? and lower your melanoma risk by 50 percent.”

- “Yes, I try to put on sunscreen daily as well, but I usually forget.”- (Y/N) added ‘cos she needed to make that conversation last at least longer than a minute. It was ridiculous, Spencer not even being able to look her in the eyes only because he had accidentally said he loved her in front of a whole crime scene, Nebraska’s police force, and the whole BAU team. Even Garcia.

- “Anyway”- (Y/N) said when she noticed Spencer wasn’t saying anything - “Are you enjoying the trip?”

He stared at her and licked his lips - nearly giving her a heart attack - as he tried his best to find actual words to reply to that question.

- "I don't really like the beach…”- he finally mumbled- “Sandy food, pink skin, limited and unengaging topography, but mostly drug-resistant bacteria spread by seagull feces.”

- “Oh…”- (Y/N) sounded disappointed, and neither of them said another word. Their new team gathered around them, and the instructions for the first activity were delivered.

The first team training activity was a beach scavenger hunt. Hotch’s team won ‘cos he was the team leader and… well, he is the best leader in the FBI. Spencer and (Y/N) tried their best, but their group was having serious trouble focusing. Apparently, no one wanted to spend the day at the beach working.

The second team training activity was a beach obstacle course. Morgan’s team won, basically ‘cos most of the agents in his team were pure muscle. Spencer was incredibly embarrassed to even do the circuit, ‘cos he felt self-aware of every one of his moments and that everybody was looking at him. And he ended up tripping on his own feet. Just when he thought he couldn’t embarrass himself more, there he was, face into the sand, hearing the entire FBI laughing at him.

Rossi looked at Morgan and shook his head. The kid needed help. But how?

- “Are you ok?” (Y/N) whispered when Spencer reached her side and he just nodded. - “Your ankle, does it hurt?”- she was honestly worried, but he felt so humiliated he wanted to disappear. So he did, he didn’t even answer her question and walked away. Rossi looked at the scene from a distance and headed to (Y/N)’s side in a few minutes.

- “How is the beach treating you, bella?”

- “I’m hating every minute here so far”- she replied and followed Spencer with her eyes until he got lost between all the people. Rossi noticed, he knew what was torturing her and though they hadn’t ever talked about it, it was clear he had to help those kids.

- “Come on, ragazza. You know he is crazy for you. We all do. You just have to tell him how you feel.”

- “I’m trying, Coronel Cannelloni! but he doesn’t even talk to me. The few things he has mumbled today are the only things he has said to me since “the incident,” and I don’t know what to do!”

- “He is embarrassed.”- Rossi pointed out the obvious and completely ignored the nickname (Y/N) had called him. She usually called him different nicknames just for the fun of it.

- “Well I understand that, but if I already know he loves me…”

- “Embarrass yourself now.”- Rossi suggested and the young woman just stared at him in silence. - “I mean it. Meet him in the middle. You already know he loves you, what’s the worst that could happen?”

- “You know, something bad happens every time someone asks that, right?”- Rossi chuckled at those words and shook his head.

- “It can’t get worse than him stuttering every time he sees you.”

- “I’m sure it can.”

Morgan found Spencer standing against a wall, on the other side of the main building of the complex. His eyes were closed as well as his fists, that he kept hitting against the bricks, over and over again.

- “Hey kid.”

- “Please, not now.”- Derek didn’t say another word for a few minutes. He just stood next to his friends and waited for his tantrum to pass.

- “You know Reid, that woman there loves you. Why don’t…”- and at those words, Spencer just snapped and started yelling.

- “She doesn’t! I don’t know if you remember but I had a little incident the other day with a fucking mic in the middle of a supermarket and everybody heard me telling Garcia how in love I am with (Y/N) and she has acted like nothing happened ever since!”

- “Kid”- Morgan frowned and stood in front of Spencer, holding his arms, trying to calm him down and talk some sense into him. - “You’ve been giving her the cold shoulder every time she tries to talk to you. Don’t blame this on her!”

- “Cold shoulder?! Me? To her? When?”- Spencer chuckled sarcastically

- “Dude, a minute ago she was talking to you and you left her alone in the sand.”

Morgan was right, and Spencer knew it, but he wasn’t going to give him the pleasure of saying it. However, Morgan didn’t sugarcoat things either.

- “And let me tell you one more thing, I saw how the guys from National Security in your team were eying her, and you just left her alone with those assholes after being a jerk. It doesn’t look good. How are you gonna fix it, pretty Ricky?”

Spencer opened his mouth, followed by a long awkward silence.

- “Thought so.”- Morgan sighed, and tapped on his friend’s shoulder - “Come on, let’s go back, and try to talk to her like you did before the incident.”

- “Awkwardly and clueless?”- Spencer whispered, and Derek just chuckled.

- “Just be yourself.”

- “That’s lousy advice, I don’t know how to be anyone else.”- Reid frowned and looked at his friend, who was nearly losing his patience.

- “Just don’t be your asshole self.”

The third and last activity of the day was a sandcastle-building contest. And doing his best to overcome his embarrassment and nervousness, Spencer grabbed a plastic shovel and asked (Y/N) if she wanted to help him with a part of their team construction. His hands were nearly shaking as she kneeled next to him on the sand and started working on their team’s design.

- “How did it go with the kid?”- Rossi asked Morgan, as neither of them even tried to pretend to be into the activity.

- “He is in denial. He swears she doesn’t even like him. What did she say?”

- “The kid is ignoring her and she doesn’t know what to do. So I told her to embarrass herself as much as he embarrassed himself.”- Morgan turned to Rossi and raised an eyebrow behind his sunglasses - “What?”

- “Rossi, that's shitty advice. Next time try something like: “Kiss the goddamn fool!” or something like that! I mean, the kid is hopeless and if (Y/N) doesn’t do anything, they are never going to get together.”

- “Give them some credit, Morgan.”- Rossi regretted his words as soon as they left his lips. Spencer was so nervous as he tried to talk with (Y/N) he gesticulated too much and hit part of his castle, causing half of it to crumble down.

- “He has a degree in engineering. How can he be defeated by a sandcastle?”- Rossi whispered and Derek shook his head. The whole scene was embarrassing to watch.

- “And your great advice was “embarrass yourself.” Jesus! I’m gonna have to ask Garcia to hack the system and move them into the same room. This is painful to watch!”

- “Like Hotch at the beach”- Ross pointed out - “He is so sunburned and he keeps getting redder, no matter how much sunscreen he puts on.”

If you asked anyone at the FBI about how the first day of their annual Team Training Program went, they would say it had been a mess. Most agents were sunburned and exhausted after Strauss’ program. Only Morgan and Garcia still felt like going out for dinner and maybe hitting the club, hoping to have some fun that weekend.

Spencer was alone, sitting on the sand in front of the sea. The sun was setting and he just sat there, on his own, doing his best to clear his mind and come up with a plan. But instead, he had nothing but regret. He kept remembering his worst and most embarrassing moments of the day in front of (Y/N) over and over again. It was a bad movie he’d pay not to watch ever again.

- “There you are!” - Prentiss sat next to Spencer and sighed, staring at the scene in front of them.

- “This is beautiful.”- she whispered and Spencer merely nodded. - “Why aren’t you watching this with (Y/N)?”- instead of an answer, Reid just groaned and rested his forehead on his knees, closing his eyes.

- “I’m guessing you didn’t have a chance to talk today.”- Prentiss whispered, knowing very well what had happened. Not like Morgan and Rossi could keep a secret. - “Come on, Reid, you are a fucking genius! Grow a pair and get your shit together”

- “What am I supposed to do? Honestly, ‘cos I’ve tried, but I just… can’t fucking think when she is next to me.”

- “Then don’t think, just act!”- Prentiss nearly smacked Reid as she spoke.- “I don’t think I have to tell you again, she fucking loves you! Do something.”

- “She doesn’t…”- but before Reid could finish that sentence, he felt Emily’s hand against his head, hitting him.

- “Don’t! She loves you! Now stand up, move your skinny ass, and kiss her!”

Reid turned to his friend, still rubbing the spot she had hit, ‘cos it had been incredibly painful.

- “Are you… drunk?”

- “Come on! There is no way I’m surviving sober a weekend with all these agents.”- Prentiss answered and grabbed a tiny gin bottle from her pocket- “Need one?”

- “No, thanks.”

- “Fine… now go! She was having some dinner at our cabin.”

(Y/N) was about to start eating when Spencer got to the cabin. She sat on the terrace with a grilled sandwich and a glass of wine, holding a book. Reid looked at her from the other side of the house and took a deep breath before he continued walking.

- “You’ve got this.”- he whispered to himself - “You can do this.”

- “Hey Spencer!”- (Y/N) watched him approach and smiled so wide he even stopped breathing as he stared at her.

- “You are not doing this.” - he admitted as he sat down on the chair across from (Y/N) and cut her a little smile.

- “Did you eat?”- she asked and offered half her sandwich, but Spencer shook his head and smiled.

- “Thanks, I’m not hungry.”

- “Sure? It’s your favorite. Lots of cheese and zero veggies.”- (Y/N) teased and smiled at Spencer. He blushed and looked at his hands on the table, trying to find the words to finally say what he had to.

But he never found them, instead, they fell into a comfortable silence. (Y/N) finished her sandwich and Spencer read half of her book. The one he had gotten for her a few months earlier. Neither of them said a word, just looked at each other from time to time and smiled awkwardly.

- “So… I’ve been meaning to talk to you.”- (Y/N) finally said as she folded her paper napkin a million times, in a sad and pathetic attempt at making origami.

- “Wh… wha... what about?”- Spencer stuttered immediately. Not a good sign. (Y/N) looked at him and felt bad about how nervous he was. But he had to tell him, he deserved to know.

- “I have to tell you something, but I can’t tell you here. Can you come with me, please?”- the young agent stood up and offered Spencer her hand. He hesitated, not knowing what was happening. But she just smiled and he reached out and held her hand.

(Y/N) drove in silence for a few minutes. They didn’t go too far, Spencer asked a few times where they were going and what was so important that she couldn’t just tell him in the car, but she refused to say a word. Instead, she just smiled and shook her head.

- “Just wait a second.”

Spencer didn’t get it when she parked outside a small supermarket, he just followed her in silence and watched her walk straight to an aisle and then to customer service. Reid didn’t register anything, he just followed her with honest curiosity. Until he saw her grabbing the mic and locking eyes with him.

- “Spencer Walter Reid. I am so fucking in love with you.”- the few people that were shopping at the hour turned to look at her and the young agent simply giggled.

- “Wh… what?”- Spencer stuttered, feeling his red burning red.

- “I love you. I’ve been in love with you for so long.”- (Y/N) kept talking to the mic, until one of the girls in the staff walked up to her and nearly yelled she couldn’t do that. But she (Y/N) didn’t care if she got kicked out of the store. She just cared about Spencer, who kept staring at her in disbelief.

- “Come on dude! Kiss the girl”- some random guy said and slapped his arm, forcing him to react. But before he could do anything, (Y/N) grabbed his face and planted a kiss on his lips. Spencer wide opened his eyes as it happened, and watched her winking as she slipped her tongue between his lips, deepening the kiss.

- “You… do?”- Reid whispered as he gasped for hair when the kiss was over.

- “That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you but you kept running away from me.”

- “I was so embarrassed after that happened I…”- but Spencer couldn’t continue speaking, (Y/N) started kissing him again, and some of the customers watching the scene even clapped.

- “What the hell is going on here?”- a sunburned Erin Strauss asked in shock, shoving a small cart with twenty bottles of aloe vera gel, but David Rossi just chuckled and stood next to her, staring at the scene.

- “Let the kids have tonight. You can make their life under the sun miserable tomorrow.”

- “By the way, next Summer, we're doing the Alaskan cruise.”- she added and started walking away- “Agents, tomorrow we’ll have a serious conversation.”- both Spencer and (Y/N) nearly jumped as they heard her voice when she passed by their side, but Rossi just winked at them.

- “Ok, now I’m embarrassed”- (Y/N) whispered and felt Spencer holding her hand. But she didn't really care if Strauss had seen them. It was all worth it when she stared at Spencer’s sweet smile as they walked out of that supermarket. 

[reysdriver]

Meeting The Dad | E.M.

Your police chief dad insists on meeting your misfit boyfriend, so you bring Eddie over for dinner — eddie x fem!hopper!reader fluff

warnings: just a stressful dinner and a mention of eddie dealing drugs

words: 1.2k

Eddie always insisted on getting out of the van first so he could open the door for you. After telling him it’s not necessary about a million times, you just gave up and let him do it. 

You exhaled while it was just you in the car, waiting for him to walk around to your side. This dinner was nerve-wracking, but you didn’t want to show how nervous you were to Eddie and potentially scare him away. 

When the passenger side door opened, you smiled at Eddie as he took the takeout bag from you and helped you down the step. 

“So,” Eddie wondered as you started walking along the forest floor. “Remind me again why we have to do this? Your dad and I have already met.”

“Because the situations in which you two met weren’t… the most desirable. We want to show him that you’re a respectable person and a great boyfriend to his daughter.” 

Eddie took an exaggerated step over a fallen branch on the ground. “It’s not like he’s going to change his mind about me.”

“But we can try getting him to see you differently.” You told him. “So that means you have to be on your best behaviour, remember?”

He rolled his eyes jokingly. "Shake his hand, call him 'Mr. Hopper’, and keep my elbows off the table. I remember all your training"

“Eds, I’m serious. I really want him to like you.” 

He understood that you were nervous and dropped the teasing. “I know. I want it as much as you do, really. I promise I’ll try as hard as possible to become best friends with your dad.”

You laughed at that. “Well, you don’t have to get that close to him.”

“Oh, we’re gonna be super close. Soon, I’ll spend more time hanging with him than I do with you. He’ll let me sit in the front seat of his cop car as we cruise around town and share embarrassing stories about you.”

Now it was your turn to roll your eyes. You both continued walking towards your cabin, and you pointed at the ground a few feet ahead of you. “There’s the tripwire, we have to go over that.”

“I know about the tripwire, sweetheart. How do you think I sneak in to see you?”

You lowered your voice to explain. “I know. I’m pointing at it in case my dad is watching from the window or something. We don’t need him knowing about you sneaking in through my window.”

“She’s too smart for me!” Eddie spoke dramatically into the forest. “Another reason I can’t slack in making a good impression with her father.”

You giggled at him as you both stepped up onto your porch. You took one deep inhale before opening your front door to reveal your dad and sister on the couch waiting for you. Your dad stood up and started walking to you with an unreadable expression, Eleven following closely behind. 

“We’re here, and with food!” You said after Eddie shut the door behind the two of you. “Dad, El, this is Eddie. Eddie, this is my dad, and that’s my sister.”

Your boyfriend held out his hand to share a handshake with your dad. “Thank you so much for inviting me over, Mr. Hopper. It’s good to meet you in a different setting than we have before.”

He took his hand and spoke slightly more grumpily than you had hoped. “Yeah. It’s a pleasure.”

They broke the handshake and your dad moved out of the way, leaving Eddie and Eleven face to face. 

“I know you.” She said to Eddie. 

He and you both went slightly wide-eyed, remembering what happened a few weeks ago when Eddie snuck in at night. He came to show you his most recent tattoo—among other things—and your little sister had walked into your room to find you making out with a shirtless Eddie when she got up to get a midnight snack and heard voices behind your door. You had explained that you and Eddie were just playing a game but she couldn’t tell Hopper about what she saw. 

She agreed not to say anything, but now she was forgetting her promise and you had to cover it up quickly. 

“Yeah, you’ve probably seen him around town. Anyways, we brought waffles for you and we don’t want them to get cold, so let’s sit down to eat and you can figure out where you’ve seen Eddie later, okay?”

Eddie put the takeout bag on the table and sat down in the seat next to yours that you had gestured to a second ago. There were plates on the table for you already, so you started taking out the takeout boxes from the bag and handing them out. 

“El, here’s your waffles. Eds, here’s our burgers. And, Dad, we got you a steak. Benny threw in extra fries but I got him to add vegetables for you too.”

He was obviously displeased. “Oh, yay. My daughter’s drug dealer boyfriend and I get a bunch of steamed vegetables? Best dinner ever.”

You chose to ignore his attitude, and you placed a calming hand on Eddie’s thigh. “You know, Dad, Eddie actually has a real job. He just started at the music store in the new mall. Right, Eds?”

Eddie dropped the fry in his hands before answering. “Yeah, I mean, I’m mostly just a stock boy, but at least it’s honest work.”

“And you’re saving?” Your dad asked. “Planning to move away, buy a house? At least pay off those student loans?”

There it was, the part you didn’t want to explain to your family. You avoided eye contact as you spoke. “Actually, Dad. Eddie doesn’t have student loans. He’s not going to college yet.” 

“So, you’re both about to take a gap year?”

“Not exactly.” Eddie told him. “I’m staying at Hawkins High for another year. I just have a few credits left, but it’ll happen. Third time’s the charm, right?”

“This is gonna be your third senior year?” Your dad asked, looking surprised. 

Even Eleven joined in. “That’s six years of high school!”

“Yeah, it is. Unfortunately, I didn’t put a lot of my focus into school, so I wasn’t always the best student. But I’m almost there.” 

You were so scared about how your family would react to this information. Obviously, you didn’t care that Eddie was a year older but still in high school; you were just so proud of him for sticking to it and trying. You winced as your dad started to laugh. 

“I guess I don’t need to worry about you running off with my daughter anytime soon ‘cause where the hell are you gonna go?” 

You were about to tell him off for being mean about your boyfriend’s education journey, but Eddie sensed this and held your hand under the table. In fact, he seemed to find it funny too. 

“No, sir. Not going anywhere yet.” Eddie responded. “In fact, I’ll even stay for a fourth year if it’ll put your mind at ease about me.” 

You realised you were still holding your breath from when your dad asked the question, and you finally exhaled calmly. Maybe this dinner wouldn’t be as intimidating as you thought.

[drdemonprince]

Hello! You have opened a fascinating door into kink communities I didn't even know existed. Thanks for that. I was describing some of your steamworks adventures to my partner, who works as a Disease Intervention Specialist (aka DIS, a government healthcare worker who administers free/low-cost STD testing and then attempts to track down and notify+test the recent sexual partners of any infected individuals). (He brings some INSANE stories home from work and gets to give sex ed talks at the local Christian college using a model penis that actually ejaculates--but I digress.) He was horrified by the hypothetical situation where an infected person could have blindfolded sex with an unknown number of nameless strangers. It's hard enough trying to track down partners when the patient only knew them by their Grindr username. How do you have safe sex in these situations? Some STDs can be transmitted via skin-to-skin contact even with a condom. Do venues like steamworks enforce any rules around testing/protection/etc.?

If your partner is 'horrified' by the actual sex lives of the populations he ostensibly serves I think he needs to read more from harm reductionist thinkers and queer activists from a variety of past eras and work on processing his feelings of judgement to ensure it doesn't impact his actions in that line of work.

The books and Melancholia and Moralism, Saving Our Own Lives, and Beyond Shame: Reclaiming the Abandoned History of Radical Gay Sexuality are good places to start.

If you're having anonymous or blindfolded sex in cruising spaces, one route of managing risks is to assume that every person there could be infected with STIs you do not have and to plan accordingly. Vaccines, condoms, PreP, testing, and education are just some of the tools at one's disposal, and one should always be cognizant of the risks that one is consenting to. Steamworks has sexual health educators and testers present within their space regularly, but they don't gatekeep based on serostatus, health status, drug regimen or use of protection -- doing so wouldn't be feasible and would be problematic on multiple grounds.

I don't believe the goal of a public health initiative or a life well lived is to eliminate all risk, or to regard the presence of any infection in any human body as unacceptable, but rather to empower people to make informed decisions about the level of risk they are comfortable confronting, or that is worth the numerous benefits to them.

Personally, I was in far greater danger when I didn't have access to such spaces. Cruising spaces make negotiating sexual consent far safer than privately dating and hooking up with someone, and Steamworks are vitally important queer community spaces, and for me are well worth the trade off. No one should have any illusions about this ever being an experience that they can eliminate all risk from, rather they should anticipate it and plan for it.

I think "safe sex" is an unhelpful framework to pursue because it is so binary and can't ever be guaranteed. What does safety mean? Which types of exposures do we consider to be "unsafe"? Am I unsafe if I encounter another person who, like me, has had a cold sore before, like 80% of the population? Or someone who has a strain of HPV I am vaccinated against? What about if I have an encounter with somebody with a cold? I'm "safer" being fucked by an HIV positive person who is undetectable and wearing a condom than I am having barrier free sex with a long term partner who cheats. I can't even know I'm taking a risk in the latter case; at Steamworks, I'm assuming my risk level to be on the high end and planning accordingly.

I understand that testing and tracing are important parts of public health for our populations. It was vitally important when monkeypox broke out. Maybe Steamworks should collect member emails and alert them if there was a reported transmission on a night that they visited. Though even then, there are some negative public health implications to dozens of people panicking. But there is no means of eliminating all risk entirely or tracing all human sexual behavior and I would be myself pretty horrified if there was.

[inevitably-johnlocked]

hi, honey! do you have any boat/ship fics?

Hi Lovely!!

Here are the fics I have that take place on a Boat or a Ship of some kind! Literally just what I can remember in the moment, PLEASE add more if you guys have them! I've also added fics on my MFL list that have the tags :)

BOATS / SHIPS

Baetica Series by Jberry (E, 17,943 w. across 2 works || Post-S3, Fake Marriage For a Case, Cruise Ship, Homophobic Language, Developing Relationship) – John Watson and Sherlock Holmes must solve a case on a cruise ship. To get close to the crew and passengers, they must get married for the case on the Baetica. However, their relationship hits rocky seas both due to the case and internal conflicts.

The Kepler Problem by kinklock (E, 24,270 w., 1 Ch. || Sci-Fi AU || Alien Sherlock, Space Repairman John, Alien Biology, Horny John) – Working in uncharted space exploration was not as exciting as John had hoped, especially when it turned out to be mostly bot maintenance on uninhabited planets. However, the mystery of the repeated, unexplained malfunctions on planet BAK 2212 might turn out to be exactly the kind of adventure he'd been craving.

SpaceBois go to Space Series by elldotsee (E, 62,028+ w. across 3 works || Series WiP || Astronaut / Space AU || Scientist Sherlock, Biomedical Engineer John, Sherlock is William, Astronauts, Close Quarters, Shy Sherlock, Space Travel, Mutual Pining, Chemistry, Developing Relationship, Minor Injuries, Suicidal Ideation, Whump, Flirting, Angst with Happy Ending, Mars Colonization, Hurt/Comfort, Domestic Fluff, Zero-Gravity Sex, Alternating POV, UST/URT) – Will Holmes is a chemical researcher recognized widely for his contributions to the new Mars exploration program. Thanks to his ground-breaking developments, the IMMC (International Mars Mission Corporation) is one step closer to Martian colonization. Will and his team of scientists are headed out on the first of three manned missions before the first group of settlers arrive. Three days before launch, one of the crew has to be replaced. Will panics because...new people. The replacement is of course one John Watson, biomedical engineer and space hottie who was pretty sure he had retired from actual space exploration and was now content to work in the nice, quiet research lab. Can the crew survive this TOTALLY ROUTINE trip? Will they be able to endure each other for the looooooong trip in close quarters?

A Further Sea by i_ship_an_armada & ShinySherlock (E, 125,492 w., 23 Ch. || Historical Pirates AU || Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Doctor John / Pirate Captain Sherlock, Sailing, UST / RST, Masturbation, Action / Adventure, Mild Angst & Peril, Romance, Shaving, Molly/Janine, Bottomlock, Hand / Blow Jobs, Past Drug Use, Slow Burn, Mild Violence, Facial Shaving, Happy Ending) – Here be a tale of adventure for both body and soul, but beware if ye be not of stout heart, for this be piratelock, ya savvy? Luckless ship's surgeon John Watson takes a chance, and finds himself eye to eye with The Ghost, the scourge of the seven seas and a definite thorn in the side of the blaggard, James Moriarty. But when John finds there's more to this most cunning pirate than be meetin' the eye, he has to choose... is it a pirate's life for him?

MARKED FOR LATER

My, She Was Yar by blueink3 (M, 5,313 w. || Teenlock Cinema AU || Mention of Sex for Drugs, Fluff and Angst, Happy Ending) – YAR: adjective; (nautical term, of a sailboat) agile, quick, easily manoeuvred. Or, the exact opposite of what Sherlock Holmes is when he stumbles into John Watson's cinema and turns his life upside down. Part 7 of the Tumblr Prompts series

Below Zero by Calais_Reno (M, 10,912 w., 2 Ch. || End of the World AU || Falling in Love, Antartica, Space Station, Pandemic, Heavy Angst, Loneliness, Love, Hopeful Ending) – 10,000 miles south of London, John Watson sits in a research station in Antarctica. 210 miles above London, Sherlock Holmes is floating in a space station. They are Earth’s only survivors.

Rigging screws, size 1 3/8 inch, galvanised by AJHall (T, 15,250 w., 6 Ch. || Case Fic, Boat Safety) – On the eve of a planned voyage to Brittany, Marjorie Jameson starts her day with no problems more pressing than forcing a boatyard to do an emergency repair to the family yacht. A chance encounter at the Cowes hi-speed ferry terminal begins to unravel a web of conspiracy and murder, with her charming, untrustworthy husband Julian right at the centre and Marjorie as the next intended victim. But no-one's going to trust the word of an aging housewife whose complaints of abuse the police have previously dismissed as delusions.

The One Where Sherlock Doesn’t Ruin John’s Holiday by nutmeag83 (T, 18,898 w., 11 Ch. || Pre-TRF / S2 Timeline, Friends to Lovers, Cruise Ships, Vacation / Holidays, Fake Relationship, For Science, Bed Sharing, Cuddling/Snuggling, Mutual Pining, John POV, Minor Case Fic, Cooking, Dancing, Drunk Shenanigans) – John wins a cruise vacation for two and brings Sherlock along. But when it turns out to be a couples cruise, they have to pretend to be a couple themselves (for science). How many pretend kisses will it take before they can’t deny their feelings any longer?

To Belong Series by DrFish (T, 19,400+ w. across 4 works || Series WiP || Victorian / Mythical AU || OctoJohn, Scientist Sherlock, Attempted Kidnapping, BAMF John, Protective / Possessive John, Developing Relationship, Being Lost, Size Difference, Capital Punishment, Happy Ending) – William Sherlock Scott Holmes failed to graduate the University of Cambridge class of 1877. Adrift in London, he accepts a post as assistant naturalist on a scientific expedition to the Western Pacific Ocean aboard Her Majesty's Sailing Ship Frontier. Events do not proceed quite as planned and Sherlock finds himself cruelly cast away by his shipmates. Perhaps he will find salvation in the company of a most unlikely sea creature.

If I had a boat I would sail to you by Sunnyrea (E, 20,576 w., 1 Ch. || Titanic Fusion) – John is completely different and special from anyone Sherlock would normally come in contact with - no talk of money and hidden family secrets, no surface, superfluous conversations and blatant lies. John was the most honest person in less than five minutes Sherlock has ever met. He wants to know everything else there is to know about John Watson.

A Piece of Eight Series by by KtwoNtwo (T, 30,562+ w. across 5 works || Series WiP || One Piece Space AU || Character Study, Space Pirates) – Mankind has spread out through the galaxy on ships with solar sails and jump drives. Here be tales about a particular sector of the galaxy where the Commonwealth of New Britannia is adjacent to a gravitational anomaly commonly referred to as the Red Line. Avast all ye spacers, batten down the hatches and prepare for interesting weather; its a space AU crossover between One Piece and Sherlock.

Riptide Lover by jinglebell (E, 114,090 w., 20 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE|| Merfolk & Victorian AU || Mermaid Sherlock, Human John, BAMF John/Sherlock, Possessive Sherlock, Oral Sex, Hand Jobs, Mild Gore, Dubious Interspecies Consent, Stockholm Syndrome, Dark Romance, Dubcon and Morality, Rough Sex, Abstract Mentions of Rape, Size Queen, Switchlock, Foot Fetish) – The year is 1866. When John becomes swept overboard, he never expects to encounter a living creature of myth. When the merman absconds with John, the lost sailor must use every tool at his disposal to convince Sherlock not to kill him. But it seems that killing John Watson is not what the deadly, beautiful creature has in mind at all...

Over Fathoms Deep by bittergreens (E, 486,840+ w., 61/? Ch. || WiP || Historical / Regency / Sailing AU || Sailor!John / Aristocrat!Sherlock, Pining Sherlock, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Slow Burn, Virgin Sherlock, Sailing, Bottomlock, UST / RST, Hand/Blow Jobs, Frottage, Masturbation, Happy Ending, Anal) – When the youngest son of the aristocratic Holmes family is shipped off to sea in an attempt to cure him of his poor temper and bad manners, he fully expects to spend a long tedious voyage as miserable as ever. What he does not count on is having his heart stolen by the strapping young crewman, John Watson.

[indelicateink]

fellow friends deviants and aficionados, there is an Interview with the Vampire kink meme!

one million million thank yous to @vampire-dove for hosting this anon kink meme for us.

i'm going to share some of the prompts going on over there. please go add more. please fill prompts. please go destroy those gentlemen's cervixes. (cervices? google says it's cervices. and that they're going untended.)

Prompts [2/?]:

--

Lestat de Lioncourt/Louis de Pointe du Lac

"In 1910s New Orleans, newly arrived impoverished immigrant Lestat supplements his acting career with sex work but has some bad experiences.

"He propositions Louis de Pointe du Lac to take him on as a sex worker and expand Louis’s queer clientele. Louis samples the goods."

--

Armand/Daniel Molloy, Armand/Lestat de Lioncourt Armand/Lestat de Lioncourt/Daniel Molloy, Lestat de Lioncourt/Daniel Molloy Dom/sub Possessive Behavior

"Lestat’s relationship to Armand is, in a word, odd. Lestat is possessive over his lovers, even if technically he and Armand never were. This was fine when Armand and Louis were together because they were both, ultimately, his.

"Daniel Molloy is not.

"Really just Daniel and Lestat learning to tolerate/get along with each through domming Armand together."

--

Damek/Armand, Louis de Pointe du Lac damek auditions for The Farm after arriving in Dubai.

"louis directs from the cuck chair as damek services armand on their bed and armand samples damek’s blood for consideration."

--

Lestat de Lioncourt/Louis de Pointe du Lac Mental Breakdown, Supernatural Illnesses, Masturbation, Grief/Mourning, Agoraphobia, Hallucinations, Forced Orgasm, Bargaining, Warm and Fuzzy Feelings

"Snapshots of depression-era Lestat in New Orleans and his Dreamlouis. 1955, 1967, 1974, 1985, 2008. Lestat never forgets their anniversary. You would think a fantasy would tell you what you want to hear, but Dreamlouis is a challenge every sunset and does not suffer fools, and Lestat wouldn’t have it any other way."

--

Lestat de Lioncourt/Louis de Pointe du Lac Armand/Daniel Molloy Recreational Drug Use, Drugged Sex, Period-Typical Homophobia, Sugar Daddy, Clubbing

"1980s or 1990s wealthy closeted wall street finance bros and FWB Lestat and Daniel spend their nights after their high-pressure jobs coked up and cruising for guys.

"Lestat becomes obsessed with the hot melancholy businessman and fellow closet-case Louis de Pointe du Lac, who he gets off with in the back of a club one early morning. Daniel yearns for Armand, the hot guy he sees around on the circuit on the arm of a new older man every night."

--

Lestat de Lioncourt/Louis de Pointe du Lac Secret Relationship, Shame, Closeted Character, Period-Typical Homophobia, Period-Typical Racism, Internalized Homophobia, Exposure, Outing, Fear of Discovery

"AU where Louis doesn’t freak out after their one night stand, Paul doesn’t die, this courtship is taking way longer than Lestat wants. Lestat becomes a regular at the du Lac family dinners. Louis’s queerness continues to be an open secret and forbidden topic in his family.

"Louis’s competitors (Tom, Alderman Fenwick, etc) sabotage him by exposing his queerness in a major way (maybe they get him and Lestat arrested in the act [but ofc lestat’s money avoids them jail time]?). Louis is shunned by his family and Storyville and his business is in crisis. But he perseveres."

[arrowmaker15]

(Alfred coming home)

Alfred: Pardon me, what all did I miss again?

Tim: I redesigned Batman's suit.

Bruce: Damian got grounded for spray painting "Jokers Pet" on the Robin display case.

Jason: I drugged Tim.

Steph: I punched Tim.

Cass: I watched.

Duke: I stayed far away from the manor for most of the week.

Dick: I had a midlife crisis on the roof.

Damian: Todd started a second cult.

Alfred:

Alfred: I cannot even have tea with the queen without you all falling apart. This is the reason I do not board a cruise. Without me, you all would die.

Barbara: Oh, definitely agree with you there.

[your-resident-boat-person]

A BOAT PERSON YEEEEEES BOATS BOATS BOATS BOATS BOATS DO YOU HAVE A REASON FOR LOVING THEM? YOU HAVE A LIST OF FAVS AND THEY ARE GREAT ARE THERE ANY YOUD RECOMMEND PEOPLE LEARN ABOUT OR THAT YOU WANT TO INFODUMP ON SPECIFICALLY SORRY FOR THE CAPS I AM VERY VERY EXCITED

Okay, so, if I had to give a reason for liking ocean liners, the answer is probably that I'm a mega-autist. However, it started in the 5th grade. Like everyone else, Titanic was my gateway drug. That eventually expanded into other ocean liners.

If I had to recommend one to learn more about, it would easily be the SS America.

She had a long and storied 55-year-long career. I highly recommend the documentary by Oceanliner Designs on YouTube. However, I will give an abridged version of her story beneath the cut. It's a thrilling story, so if you're interested, don't read this; go watch his video. Its better:

Designed by the famous naval architect William Francis Gibbs, she was launched on August 31st, 1939. The day before World War II began. She was actually part of FDRs new deal program, meant to help the United States recover from the great depression. Her construction employed thousands of people, and nearly every state contributed to her in some way. She was built to a 3 compartment standard, meaning with 3 of her 14 watertight compartments flooded, shed stay afloat. This is actually better than most modern cruise ships, I might add. She was completed on April 16th, 1940, but given all the U-Boats everywhere, she couldn't exactly serve as a transatlantic liner. So the maiden voyage of this ocean liner was actually a Mediterranean cruise. United States Lines actually painted two giant American flags on each side of her hull, with the text “AMERICA UNITED STATES LINES” in big, bold letters, just in case they somehow did encounter a U-Boat.

America was a neutral country at the time, so that kind of thing was important to advertise. Eventually, the US got pulled into the war, and the SS America was requisitioned as a troopship and renamed the USS West Point. I don't know if this is confirmed, but I suspect that it's because if she were lost in the war, announcing that a ship bearing the name of our country had been lost to enemy action would be a huge blow to morale. When her running mate, the SS United States, was constructed, the US government tried to pressure William Francis Gibbs into giving her a different name for this exact reason. It didn't work. I love him. Anyway, here's a picture of her during her service.

The SS America carries the honor of being one of the few ships to never have a single death occur on board during the war. She might have actually been the only one. Anyway, in 1946, she was returned to United States Lines and renamed back to SS America. This time, when they repainted her back to her civilian colors, they ditched the name and flags on the sides of her hull. (Thank god.) Her career with USL was successful, if uneventful. In 1952, the SS United States was introduced. The Big U was about 267 feet longer, twice the size, and twice the speed. Given that the SS United States is still, to this day, the fastest passenger ship of all time, America had a little bit of trouble keeping up. America's passenger numbers fell after this, but she still had many loyal passengers who preferred her. The SS United States’ interior design was a tad lackluster compared to the SS America.

With rising operating costs and competition from air travel, she was deemed an unnecessary part of the USL fleet. In 1964, they put America up for sale. She was bought by Chandrice Line, which serviced the postwar emigrant run from Europe to Australia and New Zealand.

America was renamed Australis and served them until 1977, when, faced with ever-increasing fuel costs, could no longer compete with air travel. She is remembered to this day by many of the emigrants as being a very happy ship, but Chandrice didn't exactly maintain her very well. On one voyage, part of her hull opened up, and a compartment partially flooded. The crew was unable to fix it, and for the rest of the 3 week voyage, she had an awful list over to one side.

Now comes the most shameful part of her career. In 1978, she was bought by Venture Cruise Lines for 5 million dollars. Seeking to capitalize on nostalgia, they offered 5 day cruises to nowhere. To prepare her for this new role, they repainted her in what was definitely her second-ugliest configuration, and they gave her her old name back.

And then they kinda… stopped. They made no effort to modernize her (a ship constructed in the 1930s), and her interiors were, for lack of a better word, a dump. The swimming pool was full of garbage bags, toilets were overflowing, and there were rats and bugs everywhere. It was a nightmare. Truly, a predecessor to the poop cruise from hell. The passengers on her first cruise actually mutinied, and the ship barely made it past the Statue of Liberty before the captain turned her around. The health inspection board was called in, and they examined the ship. They gave her a score of 6.

Out of a possible 100.

Venture went bust, and America was put up for sale again.

Shockingly, the ones who bought her were Chandrice Line again, for 1 million dollars. Meaning they profited 4 million dollars while also getting their ship back in the process. She was renamed AGAIN to Italis, and her forward funnel was so corroded that it had to be cut off, giving her an extremely ugly and unbalanced profile. Even to the lay person, most can tell at this point that she looked very sad.

Her final years with Chandrice were short and uneventful, only lasting 2 years. Chandrice wanted to completely modernize her and have her serve as a modern cruise ship, but this never happened. She then bounced around from owner to owner. First, she was the Noga, intended to become a prison ship. Then she was the Alferdoss, but only the port bow was the Alferdoss, because they only put the name on one side of the hull. So the starboard bow and the stern were still the Noga. She was nearly sold for scrap, but after they scrapped the lifeboats, they defaulted on their payment and pulled out. Then, she was bought by a Thai investment firm, which intended to completely restore her and convert her into a 5-star hotel, much like the Queen Mary had in the 1970s. After a short period of drydocking, it was found that, despite the neglect, her hull was in remarkably good condition. The trip from New Zealand to Phuket, Thailand, was a long and dangerous one. Approximately 100 days. A Ukrainian tug won the contract, and in 1994, they set off…

only to immediately turn around due to the weather. They tried again, and again the weather turned against them. The tow line snapped, and they sent crew aboard to try to reattach it, but it was no use. They were airlifted off by helicopter, and the SS America, now named SS American Star, was set adrift. There was no one aboard, and the ship had no power. Seemingly tired of the years of neglect and mistreatment, the SS America decided to go out on her own terms. She went aground at Playa de Garcey, off the west coast of Fuerteventura in the Canary Islands. Within 48 hours, the pounding waves broke her in two.

She was declared a total loss and promptly abandoned. The waves quickly ate through the stern, causing it to deteriorate very quickly. The bow, however, remained standing, up until about 2008, when it began collapsing into the sea.

It's difficult to imagine that at one point, this was the grand old lady of the seas.

By 2013, nothing of her was left standing above the surface.

Along with her eye-achingly beautiful appearance, she had an extremely long and storied career. So that's why she's my favorite liner of all time. Most liners only last 25 to 35 years. Hell, the SS United States was only in service for 17 years. The SS America had a 55-year-long career. 74 if you count the time she spent wrecked, as she frequently got visitors. She was a truly outstanding ship, and I'm devastated that she couldn't be preserved. If it's any consolation, Phuket was struck by a major typhoon in 2004, so America was probably doomed regardless. If I could pick one liner from history to undo the fate of and magically preserve, it would EASILY be her.

[fuctacles]

For @batboysxprompts Secret Steddie event. My prompt:

Quote: "You've never been touched like this before?" Song: 'Raw Deal', by Judas Priest Optional:  a leather bar AU/place, +18 content, set in fall Don’ts: Pregancy/breeding kink, choking/breathplay, vomit, scat, watersports

E | 2365 | cw: drugs | loose Cruising AU, leather bars, bicurious Steve, going undercover | tape dividers by @cafekitsune heart dividers by me

The door slammed closed behind him, leaving Steve alone in the empty hall outside the Captain’s office. In his hands, he was holding the turning point of his career, a special assignment he was dreaming of, handed him by the captain himself. A leather jacket. With his new address and keys in its inside pocket.

He was still buzzing with anger at his colleagues, at the hateful words they used and their unwillingness to take this on. It was mostly that, which pushed him to bite back and offer himself.

By the looks from his peers, it seemed it was their plan all along. To send the gay sympathizer in as one of their last straws. But will he be a short or a long one?

It’s not what he dreamed of when joining the force, certainly not something he felt comfortable with. But he was too pissed to back out, and the whole case was hitting a dead end.

A strip of paper with a crude map and a name led him through alleys until he passed the first leather-clad guy, then another, then groups of them. He kept catching stares that were both the same and completely different from the ones women would send him. He knew he was in the right place.

The bar itself was suffocating with its loud music and weird smells. But most of all, the mass of bodies, glistening with sweat and smattered with hair.

So much hair on so much bare skin.

The beer was lukewarm, giving no relief from the heat around him and he knew he was on his way to a bad headache. It was like stepping into a hazy dream. He was pretty sure there was a threesome happening in the right corner of his vision. There was also a real possibility he was getting intoxicated on the fumes hanging in the air alone.

A guy, clad in a dark tank top and sweat, leans on the bar beside him, his dark eyes flitting up and down appraisingly over his body.

“You look new here.”

“I am new,” Steve admits.

“New here or new-new?” The man raises his eyebrow, intrigued.

“New-new.” 

He lights up at that.

“I could show you the ropes,” he offers with a smile suggesting a joke Steve’s missing. He lets him pull them into the pulsing mass of bodies on the dancefloor anyway.

It takes him a couple of minutes to figure out the rhythm, let the music and the crowd seep into him, and guide his movements. While everything here was different, he’d been to bars before. He knows how to dance, knows how to flirt.

“What’s your name?” he asks loudly over the music.

The man’s smirk moved his trimmed mustache. He leans in, closer than any man ever has before.

“You can call me Spike.”

Steve nods.

“Sven.”

The man doesn’t move away, stays close and so does his lopsided mustache. 

“You look like Sugar to me.”

Steve smiles, surprised and flustered.

“Then Sugar it is.”

They dance, now closer but not uncomfortably so. Two guys beside them are grinding against each other, and the sight lights a fire under his skin. It’s a dangerous feeling, considering he’s on a job. Ah, and there’s a killer on the loose. It’s not the best moment to give in to his homoerotic fantasies.

So he plays the part of Sven, a shy, closeted bisexual who doesn’t make first moves, afraid of where it might lead him.

The last part distinguished him from Steve, who was insanely curious about what could happen.

Some making out, hopefully, wouldn’t foil his plans.

He doesn’t put Spike’s hands on his hips like he wants to, but steps a bit closer, and sways his hips in a certain way. 

A hand does land on him, but instead of pulling him in, it’s dragging him away.

“Back off, we’re dancing!” Spike pushes between him and the owner of the hand. Steve looks back, ready to snark at whoever is groping him, but he finds a familiar face.

He’s frozen for a second too long, but Edward Munson, the man still considered a main suspect by many, takes it in stride.

“Relax, Spike, we’ve met before. Haven’t we?”

Steve nods, earning himself a glare from Spike.

“The Freak? You said you were new to the scene.”

“Never said we’ve met here,” Munson clarifies, voice growing sharper with a warning. “Go find a different virgin, you perv.”

Spike grumbles something before leaving, and Steve is pulled into Munson’s chest. He huffs when their ribcages collide painfully. Everything is hot and sticky, and he wants to go home. Or rather, the temporary flat he’s renting while undercover.

“So Spike likes inexperienced men, huh?” he asks conversationally. 

“Yeah, but he also lives with two roommates who've known him for the past five years.” Munson rolls his eyes. “An unlikely suspect.”

“Thought you weren’t going to help us?” Steve raises an eyebrow. 

“Maybe I’m not helping you. Maybe I’m just keeping my eyes open because someone is killing gays in the area.”

Steve humms at that.

“So what’s your name, stranger?” he asks mockingly but Steve already knows he likes pushing buttons. Especially with cops, suspect or not. 

“Sven. But Spike seems to think Sugar works better for me.”

The man snorts, giving him a quick once over. 

“It does,” he decided. “Well, if you hear about the Freak or Popper, that might be me.”

“Popper?”

“Care for a hit?” He reaches into his leather jacket, bringing Steve’s attention to his bare chest. There were a couple of tattoos on his pecks and a fine dusting of hair.

From an inside pocket, he brings out a tiny bottle. It looks like a nasal spray with two cones instead of one.

“What is it?”

“Poppers,” he answers shortly before putting the thing in his nose and inhaling. “Probably my most popular ware. Great for anal, relaxes your muscles and stuff.”

He shakes the bottle in an offer and Steve takes it. Plunges into the sweaty world of leather and testosterone, as were his instructions.

They keep dancing and take a couple more hits. Munson tells him about all the regulars, the dos and don’ts of this world. His hand is under Steve’s shirt and his mouth is on his ear to keep their conversation private.

There is so much to take in.

“Where do I get pants like that?”

Munson follows his line of sight and sees a hairy ass peeking from a cut-out in leather pants. He grins back at him.

“I can show you a place.”

Two weeks in and Steve is barely focused on his assignment. The breeze on his ass is all he can think of. The stares he attracts, the fact that he’s almost offering himself on a silver platter. He could just lean a bit more forward on the bar, bend his spine, anyone could just stand behind him, grind against him, and…

His cock gets heavy just at the thought and he does lean in. Can’t help himself.

He almost sighs when a hand scopes the globe of his ass.

“You’re blending in quite nicely,” he hears Munson, Eddie, in his ear. Of course it’s him. “Just another slut begging to be touched by a random pervert.”

Turns out he’s into dirty talk now as well. Who would have thought?

“You have a really nice ass, too. I think the pants were a good choice,” he says, squeezing. “How do you feel in them?”

Frozen between pressing into the touch and squirming away, Steve weighs his words.

“Like candy on display. An offering.”

Eddie humms, suddenly closer.

“Yeah? What are you offering?”

He doesn’t know. The idea of gay sex had never really crossed his mind but for the past week, it’s all he can think about. He keeps wondering how far he is willing to go with the charade. If his curiosity will turn into exploration.

The palm presses on his tailbone and slides down, a single finger tracing his crack, but not pushing between the cheeks. It’s still tantalizingly close to his hole. Steve’s fingers scrape on the bartop in front of him.

“What? You’ve never been touched like this before?” Eddie asks teasingly. “Of course not,” he answers himself. “This is not your scene. You shouldn’t be here.”

Steve straightens up. He doesn’t want to turn around for some reason, so just presses against him, back to chest.

“I’m doing my job.”

“I could do it.”

“You’re not trained,” Steve reminds him, angry at the turn in the conversation. Places Eddie’s free hand on his middle. His fingers flinch at the skin-to-skin contact and Steve feels pride in his choice not to wear anything under his jacket today. Eddie traces the hair on his chest.

“Well, we have the same chances against a gun to the head.”

“He uses a knife.”

“And now you’re spilling confidential details. Not very professional.”

“Everyone knows that,” Steve argues but he’s already irked by Eddie’s prodding.

Speaking of prodding…

There’s still a finger, lazily tracing his ass.

He likes it. He can admit this much.

“Maybe it could be my scene,” he says quietly, turned enough for the other man to catch. Eddie makes an inquiring sound, to which Steve puts his palms against his, making him press harder against his skin. The finger on his ass slides between his cheeks.

“You could show me the ropes?”

Eddie lets out a husky, surprised laugh.

“Pun intended?” 

“Pun very much intended.”

He’s making a mistake. None of this is worth it and he’s risking his assignment, failing his precinct. Letting a murderer run around, knife in hand, killing innocent men.

These are his thoughts when Eddie slips his fingers in and out of his ass. It’s weird but not unpleasant, the drugs are doing their job of helping him relax. But the appeal is lost on him and it’s a pity because he really warmed up to Eddie, hoped they could be friends, solve the case together. But now it’s gonna be awkward, because-

All his doubts are cut short when Eddie finds his prostate, nearly making him choke on his spit.

“Holy shit,” he gasps. “Okay.”

Eddie chuckles from between his legs.

“Okay?”

Steve nods, blinking at the cracking ceiling.

“Yeah, I’m starting to get it. Do it again?”

“Of course, Sugar.” He leans in to plant a kiss on his leather-clad thigh before going to town on his prostate.

Steve arches off the bed in a silent scream and with a little help of a hand on his dick, comes all over himself and the pants he’s still wearing. His head is too heavy to lift properly and the gasps of breath aren’t helping but he looks down Eddie’s body with a frown. This was so much easier with a woman. He licks his lips and tries to get an elbow under himself. 

“Do you want to…”

Eddie looks up at him from where he’s wiping cum off the leather.

“Want to what?”

Steve scrunches his nose.

“Fuck me.”

He stops what he’s doing and sits up. He lost his pants before so his dick stands hard and proud between his legs.

“I do,” he shrugs matter-of-factly. “But I’ll be fine.”

Steve’s shaking his head before he’s even finished talking.

“No. Do it.” He uses what little is left of his strength to flip on his stomach and raise his ass. He moves it in a way he hopes is inviting. “I’m still curious.”

Eddie’s silent for alarmingly long and he’s starting to feel he said something wrong, but then the man lets out a choked sound. The mattress dips under his weight when he moves closer. 

“Are you sure?”

Steve considers the ugly pattern of Eddie’s wallpaper.

“No,” he decides. “But I want to know. Just use a fucking condom.”

Eddie scoffs and grabs his ass in both hands, kneading his cheeks.

“Of course.”

When he enters him, it’s like nothing else Steve’s ever felt. His dick goes so much deeper than the fingers and the stimulation on his prostate is twice as prominent. Especially now that he’s already come. He didn’t think he was gonna do it again any time soon but Eddie’s dick might just prove him wrong. 

And it’s not just the stimulation doing him in. There’s so much more to take in now.

There’s a man behind him, pounding into him with big hands holding his hips. He’s under him, bent with his ass up, face in the sheets, and rubbing against them as his whole body rocks for another man’s pleasure. He likes being used, likes being on the receiving end, he realizes. Already knows it’s not going to be a one-time experiment.

Eddie grunts behind him, low and deep, and his hips snap harder against his ass, fingers digging painfully into his skin. He can feel him twitch inside as he climaxes and Steve follows, stuffing his face in the sheets to hide his pathetic whine. He hasn’t been this drained after sex for a long time, and he wasn’t even the one doing the fucking.

Eddie probably felt the same, because he collapsed on him, all heavy limbs and itchy stubble against his back.

“You were so tight, so hot and perfect,” he mumbles against his skin, leaving tiny kisses in his wake. Steve didn’t know what to do, because he never thought what he would do after the sex. What they would do.

Thankfully, Eddie’s hazy blissed-out brain has an idea.

“Can we cuddle?” he asks, almost inaudible with his face pressed into Steve’s shoulder.

“Sure,” he answers in a hoarse voice because the idea sounds heavenly. “Lemme just…” he shimmies out from under Eddie who makes a displeased sound but Steve has to get out of the leather pants before he falls asleep. He does so as quickly as possible and falls back on the bed.

It takes a moment for their boneless limbs to align comfortably but it happens and Steve finds himself being the little spoon for the first time in his life. He quite likes it, he decides. 

[i-am-bitterly-jittery]

On Death's Doorstep (pt 42/53)

[<<First],,,,[<Prev],[Next>] [ODD Masterlist]

Word count: 2164

Rating: teen

Pairings: Karrot Kings, minor Anxceit, familial Moceit, minor boring heterosexual ocs

Warnings: identity theft, depression, kidnapping, mentioned threats of violence, mentions of drugs

~~~START~~~

Sophie Lafferty was a mousy woman, awkward in the extreme, and was prone to bouts of eccentricity, but despite all that, she had a reputation for being a hard worker. Usually, during this point of the summer, she’d be off on vacation with her family for two weeks, but this year both of her parents were sick, so the vacation had been pushed to August. 

Sophie worked a desk job in the legal department of the MAA, the work could be boring at times, and most of what she did was research assigned to her by the higher ups about some historic building that a supervillain had blown a hole through, or the insurance policy on a billionaire’s skyscraper that had mysteriously been damaged in a fight that happened twelve blocks away, or a similar case to the one they were working that had happened ten years ago on the other side of the country. One day, Sophie thought, she’d be one of those higher ups, maybe even appearing as a counselor in a court case or two. But that wouldn’t be for a long time yet, for now, she would have to content herself with following the paper trail of one Logan Crofter until he mysteriously dropped off the face of the earth six years ago to see if there was any hint of where he’d gone. 

It was the kind of project that could catapult her career if she did find something, but unfortunately for Sophie Lafferty, she was currently on a cruise to the Bahamas with her family — including her parents, who weren’t any kind of sick except, perhaps, seasick — while someone who looked a lot like Sophie, and talked a lot like Sophie told her bosses that her vacation had been postponed while thoroughly bungling their research on Prof. Crofter. 

Usually, Janus’s impersonation act didn’t last long — a couple hours to kidnap a politician, a day to infiltrate a shitty business — but this was a deeper operation than usual. In two weeks, Sophie would be back and the jig would be up, so they would need to get all the information on where Virgil was being kept, what kind of security was in place, and when the best time to act would be and stage a rescue before the MAA knew there’d been a security breach. No pressure. 

“Morning, Soph!” A security guard said, stopping next to Sophie’s desk for a moment. Sophie and Lee were very friendly, a fact that was both an asset and a hindrance to Janus — on the one hand, Lee had a greater chance of noticing something was off with Sophie, but on the other hand, Janus might have use for a security guard later, depending on how things shook out. 

“Hi Lee.” The voice modulator itched against Janus’s neck, but they resisted the urge to fiddle with it. 

“Sorry to hear about your vacation.” 

“It’s okay, I wouldn’t want to go without my parents anyway. Besides, we’ll go in August. What about you, any big summer plans?” Janus couldn’t force themself to smile even if they tried, but that hardly mattered to the illusion — Sophie’s lips curled upwards in the expression of a person who honestly cared what this man did with his life. 

“Nah, I’m more of a winter sports guy,” Lee grinned as though that were in any way impressive. 

“Oh.” It was, based on Janus’s observations, usually around this point in a conversation that Sophie ran out of things to say, so they said nothing. 

Lee stood there for a moment, marinating in the awkward silence before clearing his throat. “Well, I should be going now.” 

“Yeah.” Please leave. 

“Bye Soph.” 

“Yeah.” 

Janus resisted the urge to gag as Lee walked away, there were other people in the office who might hear if they did, even if their actual face was hidden. 

Turning back to their work, Janus found an article about a boat that sank in the Gulf of Mexico two weeks after Logan dropped off the radar, everyone on board had drowned. They added it to the research on Prof. Crofter they were assembling, they were amusing themself by reimagining Logan as more of the Walter White type, maybe he’d drowned while smuggling drugs — Logan would hate this interpretation (for many reasons, not the least of which being how close to the truth it was) but it was exactly the kind of thing that would fuzz the radar while still looking like Janus was actually working. 

A small usb drive sat innocently plugged into the computer, scanning away for the kind of security and monitoring there was on Sophie’s desktop before Janus started with their actual work. 

Their day was long and boring. They stole Jared’s lunch just to amuse themself — he almost had a full-blown temper-tantrum when he opened the fridge to find his tupperware full of bland chicken missing. Lilie from accounting spent almost an hour monologuing at them about… something, honestly Janus hadn’t been paying attention. And at the end of the day, everyone gathered in the break room to celebrate Jason’s birthday — it took everything they had not to burst out laughing when they realized. 

Finally, as they were gathering their stuff to leave for the day, their hacker drive finished its work. They would need to wait until they got home to see what kind of security they were working with, but at least that meant they could get started first thing tomorrow — plus, they had already outlined most of the details in their Crofter-equals-drug-smuggler “theory”, so they should be good for the next week or so as far as Sophie’s work went. 

They drove Sophie’s car back to Sophie’s building where they parked in Sophie’s parking spot and walked up to Sophie's apartment. Her lights had been set on a timer to make it look like she was spending the night there, but as soon as Janus entered, they left again, this time hiding themself from sight completely. They walked down the block to where their own car was parked, and then proceeded to drive back to their actual home. 

What they should do was go straight upstairs to Logan so they could go over the MAA system’s security, but instead what they did was detour to what was formerly Roman’s apartment before they moving in with his sister and was now, after a couple reconfigurations of the housing arrangements, the — hopefully temporary — apartment of Thomas and Nico Sanders-Flores and their grandson Patton. 

Janus knocked politely, and after a moment, Nico answered the door. It was always awkward to spend time with Thomas and Nico — seeing how Janus had kidnapped them and all — but they were Virgil’s parents, and Patton’s grandparents, and Janus would just have to work through the awkwardness. 

“Oh, hi Janus,” Nico gave them a strained smile, which Janus returned in kind. 

Before they could say their own polite greeting, however, the smoke alarm began to sound. 

“Thomas Sanders!” Nico turned and yelled into the apartment. He walked away from the door, leaving it open, so Janus took that as an invitation. “I turned my back on you for less than a second! How did you burn something already?” 

Janus followed Nico to the kitchen where they found Thomas desperately fanning an inflamed pan in a futile attempt at putting it out. 

“I don’t know!” Thomas cried as Nico got the fire extinguisher out from under the sink and put out the fire. 

“I can see where Virgil got his kitchen skills from,” Janus commented dryly. To Janus’s surprise, Thomas actually laughed at that. 

Nico shook his head in exasperation. “I’ve been trying so hard to teach either of them how to make anything. It might just be impossible.” 

“It’s not so bad,” Janus pointed out. “Virgil’s been getting the hang of it.” 

“Really?” Nico asked, looking excited for all of one second before it was replaced with a look of intense sadness. “I guess… I guess it’s been a while since we’ve seen him.” 

Janus cursed themself internally; their score was currently Janus: 1, awkwardness: 1. 

“Uh, where’s Patton?” They asked, knowing that at least Patton didn’t mind when they were awkward. 

Thomas frowned and Nico turned away from them entirely. 

“He’s in the living room,” Thomas explained. “Today hasn’t been a good day.” 

“Oh.” Janus: 1, awkwardness: 2. “I’ll, um…” Janus pointed towards the living room, then walked away. 

Awkwardness: 3. 

Patton was curled in a ball on the floor in front of the couch, The Princess and the Frog was playing on the TV, but Patton didn’t seem to notice. 

“Hey, Pat,” Janus said softly, taking a seat next to the kid and attempting to put their hand on his back. Their hand sank through him as they realized what Thomas meant by it not being a good day. “How are you feeling today?” 

The question wasn’t necessary, even if the intangibility didn’t give him away, Patton projected when he had strong emotions, and the sadness rolling off him reminded Janus of themself at their mama’s funeral. 

Patton didn’t answer, or even look at them, so Janus contented themself with quietly sitting beside him. 

After several minutes and a song about what the main characters would do once they were human, Patton spoke up, quietly. “Mommy, will you tell me a story?” 

Janus startled, but any thought of correcting the boy went out the window when they found Patton staring at them with big, watery eyes. 

“Of course, dear,” Janus said instead, tamping down any trace of panic. “How about the story of when I met your daddy?” 

Patton nodded eagerly, so Janus launched into the story. 

“It was probably about six or seven years ago — before you were born — and I was a law student. Frankie hadn’t joined the business yet, but he had been selling black market gadgets for a few years and had already decided to take me under his wing, so to speak — he likes to think he was my mentor because he was a criminal first, but I was a supervillain first, so it’s really six of one, half dozen of the other. 

“Now, in one of my classes we had recently discussed a situation that had been in the news about the chief of police. I felt that the chief was getting away with some nasty stuff with no repercussions, so I decided to… scare him a little bit — it’s not like I was really going to drop him off that building.” It suddenly occurred to Janus that this might not be the best story for a five-year-old, but Patton looked enraptured, so they continued. 

“I had just gotten him to make a blubbery confession for my camera when we were interrupted. Your dad was dressed like a grade A dork, horns greener than you can believe–” 

“Daddy doesn’t have horns,” Patton frowned, leaning his whole weight into Janus’s arm. 

“It’s an expression, kiddo, what I mean was, he was new to the business and it was obvious. Now, he ordered me to ‘let that poor man go!’ and I was tempted to follow his order to the letter, but turning the chief into a martyr wasn’t on my agenda at that time, so I brought him back on the roof and let him flop like a fish. 

“‘Poor?’ I said. ‘No, not yet he’s not.’ Your dad didn’t like that. He was cute, all angry and just, I just couldn’t stop myself from flirting. Most heroes, once someone as fruity as me starts flirting with them, go from cute-angry to bigot-angry pretty quickly, but Virgil just got more flustered. 

“I may have gotten a little too in to flirting with him, and he nearly managed to catch me when he make some bright starburst in front of my eyes, causing me to see spots, but I’d had years of experience to fall back on, and I knew when it was time to cut and run. The chief wasn’t in any position to catch me — he was still experiencing adverse effects to altitude — so I made a mental illusion of myself in your dad’s mind and had it fly away, mostly to test whether or not your dad could fly.” 

“He can’t,” Patton said. 

“No,” Janus agreed. “He can’t, so he stooped down to help the chief while I waltzed away at my leisure — that trick never worked on him again, by the way.” 

“Hey guys,” Thomas interrupted gently. “Dinner’s ready.” 

“Okay,” Patton stood, sadness no longer leaking from his pores. “Thanks, mommy.” 

He wrapped his little arms around his neck before running off to collide with his grandpa’s legs. 

“Pop pop?” Patton asked as Thomas lifted him into his arms. “Can we have cookies after dinner?” 

“Sure kiddo,” Thomas smiled. “Whatever you want.” 

Thomas smiled at Janus before turning to carry Patton to the table, and Janus felt a little bit of tension leak from them. Janus: 2, awkwardness: 3. 

~~~END~~~

Y’know that awkwardness when you’re meeting your significant other’s parents after you kidnapped them because your significant other has been kidnapped, and also your significant other’s child has spontaneously begun referring to you as their parent?

ODD taglist:

@royalty-of-all-things-snuggly @pixelated-pineapple @arsonic-knight @misunderstood-shadowling @lost-in-thought-20 @remy-the-lemon-berry @jinxcrafter @apinkline2715 @gothfoxx @donutsarepartybagels @xoaningout @awful-at-naming-things @lunatatic

[beardedmrbean]

Chrissy Reifschneider had just left rehab to treat her heroin addiction in 2017 when she started taking tianeptine, popularly dubbed “gas station heroin." The 41-year-old from Alabama was struggling with low energy, so a family member who worked at a gas station recommended she try the pills. 

Within days, Reifschneider was hooked, and three dark years cruised by. Now four years clean, Reifschneider reflects on the deception that contributed to her tianeptine addiction and the overwhelming shame that followed. It's a trend that addiction medicine experts say shines a sobering light on the ongoing mental health crisis that's driving people to "easy" solutions amid widespread healthcare accessibility issues in the U.S.

“I thought well, I'm not sticking a needle in my arm, so I literally convinced myself that I wasn’t a drug addict until I realized I didn't recognize who I was anymore,” Reifschneider said. “It's crazy to think that these gas station pills just controlled me. I was ashamed because I'd rather people know I was shooting up heroin than actually spending all this time and money on over-the-counter (drugs).”

Tianeptine is prescribed as an antidepressant in some European, Asian and Latin American countries, but it’s not approved for any medical use in the U.S. Still, companies are marketing and selling tianeptine products as dietary supplements typically in pill and powder form, claiming it can improve brain function and treat depression, anxiety, pain and even opioid use disorder. 

Tianeptine has been banned in Alabama, Florida, Georgia, Indiana, Kentucky, Michigan, Mississippi, Ohio and Tennessee.

Reifschneider used to take five pills every four hours, which she said gave her enough of a “warm, fuzzy buzz” without making her feel clammy or nauseous, similar to the effects of doing too much heroin, she said. The brand she purchased recommends two capsules daily “or as needed,” and advises against exceeding three capsules in a 24-hour period. 

She started to lose her hair and lots of weight; had auditory hallucinations; developed paranoia surrounding electronics, at times using 10 cellphones at once; and began to convince herself that she was “better off dead.” Reifschneider would even chat with gas station employees about how dangerous the pills were: “I was silently crying out for help.” 

After several unsuccessful stays in rehab, Reifschneider quit “cold turkey” and entered a withdrawal state for the next six months, which she said felt similar to but lasted longer than her withdrawal from heroin and fentanyl. Today, she continues to “feel like a 15-year-old in my brain,” alluding to her debilitating memory problems. “It’s one of my more shameful things,” she said.

Poison control cases involving tianeptine have increased nationwide, from 11 total cases between 2000 and 2013 to 151 cases in 2020, the FDA says. Many poison control calls often involve severe withdrawal symptoms, such as agitation, vomiting and diarrhea, because people typically consume higher doses than those prescribed in other countries, according to a 2018 CDC report.

Dr. Holly Geyer, an internal medicine physician specializing in addiction medicine with the Mayo Clinic, said fear of withdrawal and the depression that follows can contribute to addiction to a variety of substances. 

“These often aren't people who are chasing a high. They're just trying to feel normal, and if there's a drug out there that helps them curb that appetite, they're probably going to take it until it as a solution becomes the problem,” Geyer said. “These people are trapped biologically, mentally and spiritually. It's a horrible situation to be in, and I can tell you tianeptine does not let them out of it.” 

Shame and stigma prevail among addiction recovery circles 

Since Reifschneider joined social media to share her tianeptine experience, neighbors and friends have confided in her with their own struggles with the supplement. “It was a very dark secret we all kept in our recovery circle because it was so shameful,” she said. “We all felt better about ourselves because we weren’t doing the worst of the worst.”

Aaron Weiner, an addiction psychologist, says that mentality is “completely reasonable” considering the stigma and “traditionalism” that still weighs on drug use in general. “There’s a very intense mental health burden in this country right now,” he said.

Tianeptine is marketed as a supplement, but it’s really an opioid receptor agonist. That means it binds to the same receptors in the brain that heroin, fentanyl and other opioids do, causing similar euphoric and addictive effects by hijacking the body’s dopamine system. So when people use tianeptine amid their recovery journey to cope with withdrawal or other lingering effects, judgment frequently follows.

“In a lot of recovery circles, the goal is complete abstinence from all intoxicating substances,” Weiner said. “In this scenario, some people may assume they’re substituting one drug for another, and say they’re not really sober.”

Similar judgment occurs among those taking FDA-approved medications for opioid use disorder (MOUD), including methadone, buprenorphine and naltrexone — some of which are opioids themselves. Mounting evidence shows that they reduce opioid cravings and withdrawal symptoms, and block their euphoric effects, Weiner said, but don’t make people “high” or cause withdrawal when dosed properly. 

Although MOUD use has grown by more than 100% over the last decade, nearly 90% of people living with opioid use disorder are not receiving these medications, according to a 2022 study published in the International Journal of Drug Policy. Experts say stigma is partly to blame. 

“One of the greatest problems we have in this country is that of stigma; we label people, then throw them out with their diagnoses,” Geyer said. “So when many of them turn to MOUD, they experience equal amounts of stigma and are led to think that no one could yell at them or be offended if they use supplements like tianeptine that they think are safer.” 

"It kills me to know this is still out there"

Reifschneider said she visited a doctor who specializes in addiction medicine two times for help to detox from tianeptine, but neither attempt was successful.

“The doctor had no idea what these pills were, but he wanted to help me because he could see my desperation,” Reifschneider said. “I was terrified to come off of them alone, so I didn’t know what to do.” 

She ultimately detoxed herself, but this lack of awareness and access to proper treatment, Geyer said, is what deters people away from evidence-based treatment and attracts them to the illicit market.

Data show that nearly 50% of counties in the U.S., don’t have MOUD medication providers and 32% don’t have any specialty substance abuse treatment programs at all. 

“There's not a whole lot of attention paid to tianeptine because it’s one of many drugs that you could find at gas stations these days that are not technically outlawed but certainly not beneficial,” Geyer said. “The big name drugs out there like fentanyl is where the money has historically been in this industry, so that's where most treatment approaches have focused.”

After years of rehab, Reifschneider said she wants to lay low and just live a normal life, but knowing that tianeptine is still being sold on gas station shelves weighs on her.

“I'm honestly grateful that there's been more awareness, but it kills me to know this is still out there,” she said.

[offender42085]

Post 954

Skylar Preciosa Maciel, formerally Skylar Deleon, formerly John Jacobson, Jr, California inmate G56028, born 1979, incarceration intake in 2009 (this time) at age 30, sentenced to death

Murder

In 2009, a man was convicted of murdering an Arizona couple by tying them to an anchor and throwing them overboard from their yacht off Southern California was sentenced to death. Orange County Superior Court Judge Frank F. Fasel imposed the sentence recommended by the jury that convicted Skylar Deleon, 29, of killing Tom and Jackie Hawks of Prescott, Ariz. DeLeon, who appeared in a non-credited role in a "Power Rangers" TV series and starred in commercials, was also convicted in the 2003 killing of Jon Jarvi, an Anaheim man he met on a work furlough program.. "It is the judgment and order of this court you shall suffer the death penalty as to each count," Fasel said, adding that he decided to impose the penalty partly because of the horrific nature of the murders. Prosecutors said Deleon, of Long Beach, feigned interest in buying the couple's nearly half-million-dollar yacht and threw them overboard during a test cruise out of Newport Harbor in 2004. The Hawkses' bodies were never found. They said Deleon and his then-wife, Jennifer Henderson, crafted the plan to kill the Hawkses to steal their boat and savings. After the yacht killings, prosecutors said, Deleon and Henderson scrubbed the boat clean with bleach wipes. "It is difficult to imagine a case where it's more cold-blooded and calculated than this series of murders," prosecutor Matt Murphy said after the sentencing. "I can't imagine a situation that is more deserving of the ultimate punishment." Defense attorney Gary Pohlson had asked jurors to spare his client's life, arguing that Deleon was abused by a drug-dealing father who left him predisposed to violence. He declined to comment after the sentencing.

After being committed to prison, Deleon transitioned to a woman and changed the name they are known by.  

2u

[drdemonprince]

my thoughts and values align with yours re: STIs and risk AND i keep coming up against resistance to the recent discussions as a high-risk person still living almost entirely isolated amidst the ongoing pandemic. and when i take a second to breathe and think, i realize these are not conflicting at all. the friction isn't that i view illness morally or that i think we should avoid all risk. it's that the majority of folks without question take precautions to reduce STI exposure but the majority of people no longer consider doing the so minorly inconvenient precautions to reduce the spread of covid, which i would argue is much riskier than STIs at this point. and it's so exhausting because then i have to, based on my risk analysis of covid, take way more precautions because no one else is looking out for me. community care and harm reduction are my biggest driving values and i grieve how absent they are around me. i just wanted to share in case others are feeling similarly while reading this discussion. you rock and i so hope i get to engage in a beautiful public kinky scene some day.

Hey, thanks so much for sharing and walking us through your thought process.

What I might add is that individual people might not seemingly put much effort into COVID mitigation anymore because they have next to zero institutional support in doing so. Many of my disabled friends have to work in areas with a high risk of COVID exposure: waiting tables, stocking grocery store shelves, working as home health aids or phlebotomists, or teaching in schools. Some of them are high risk themselves, but because they have no choice but to work in areas where their life is put on the line, they have very high stress decompression needs and feel already resigned to their disposability in society, and so they do also go out to bars with their friends or hold parties or visit clubs.

I also know people who are able to socially distance quite strictly, test regularly, are vaccinated and boosted, but who intentionally make plans to visit cruising spaces or gay orgies very rarely so that they can remain relatively safe COVID wise but also not kill themselves out of despair (I'm not being hyperbolic here, that's exactly what some people have told me are the competing risks they face when they balance COVID exposure against isolation. And I know that many high risk populations face these same severe negative mental health outcomes too -- in fact, I know high risk people who choose to go out in public at times in order to remain sane, but who have to sit with the fact that it could be a mortal danger to do so).

I also think about how the queer community came together in the fight against AIDS to make condoms available, to educate one another about safer sex practices or harm reductionist practices, to engage in sex together in risk mitigating ways (such as gloved fisting) and how they pushed for the government to make drug treatment available to them. I see a lot of queer and disabled advocacy groups doing similar work today to spread accurate data on COVID as best they can, promote masking, organize solely outdoor events, encourage vaccination, and remind people of the stakes.

And I see such a massive gap between the ways in which risk mitigation was made possible through such community efforts, and how catastrophically the government fails us regarding COVID. We are not given free tests anymore. Vaccines aren't free anymore either. It is no longer a state of emergency. Many of us have been forced back into in-person work at our jobs. Our unemployment benefits have been cut. Student loan payments are roaring back into action. Disability benefits and medicare's expansion is rolling back. We no longer have accurate testing and tracing data. Masks are no longer required.

If a person wants to behave responsibly regarding COVID, how are they even supposed to? They can wear a mask in public and not experience in-person community to the extend they might like or need. But they can't actually prevent themselves from getting or spreading the virus because they've been forced back to work. I understand many people do not even take these small steps to reduce harm and that it is dismaying and outrageous. And I think you have ever right to feel outraged by it. But I also think individual behavior flows from social support and institutional pressure, and nearly all of that is heading in the wrong direction right now.

And I think about how collective the push for better government interventions regarding AIDS was, and how much the push regarding COVID instead is focused on targeting individual people for the actions they've made within a very unsupportive context. It was not beneficial to view individuals who had bareback sex or shot heroin as the origin of HIV, and I don't think it's helpful to understand COVID as a phenomenon of individuals failing to mask now.

Granted, it took HIV activism YEARS to get to the point of ACT UP. And we're not so many years deep into COVID yet comparatively. Personally when I look at all these facts in context I see a population that largely did take COVID seriously for a time, but who, due to a mix of institutional failure, mass misinformation, risk resignation, and despair, no longer do so in their behavior.

I don't believe in moralizing emotions and I think from your perspective you're affected by all these factors PLUS the massive risk of developing Long Covid symptoms or worse. And I know you know and live all this shit already so forgive me for preaching to the choir. But I do want to gently push back against the idea that most people don't care about COVID the way they care about STI's. I believe our discourse on both has been horrifically poisoned by individualism, capitalism, and institutional failure.

Some articles I have written on the subject:

[peachypinkygloss]

Ayo wait, I had an idea and I just have to share it with you because I think you’ll ✨get it✨.

When I was on the road today, two jackasses sped off and were trying to race and of course that immediately made me think of those BTS motorsport edits. My brain decided to then side track and get horny. Imagine you and Jimin are in an established relationship and he finally shared his motorsport love with you; you’re happy he has his own passion and interests but because of the threat to his safety it poses, you dislike it. Every time he tells you he’s going out for a drive your blood turns cold and you feel sick with worry. Jimin obviously doesn’t like that; he wants to share the hobby with you and show you why he loves it so much… but you’re a very stubborn case.

So one night (now this is where it gets a bit dark/yandere) he kidnaps you and takes you on a ride. At first it’s just a smooth night cruise which leads you to wonder what has gotten into him? He could have just asked! But then he puts more and more pressure on the gas, accelerating the vehicle. “Jimin? What are you?” He cuts you off, a hand decked out in fat rings gripping your thigh. “Do you want to know why I race? I like to feel the adrenaline rush through my veins. I like the excitement, the fear, the anticipation, the beauty in the fine lines between life and death. Each time I hit the gas, I think of your wet pussy and how good it feels around my cock. And when I win? It’s like I just fucked you and I’m ready for round two. Every race is like a little death; I can never get enough.” It was his drug, racing, and so were you.

“So tonight, I plan on teaching you a lesson, one petite mort at a time.”

So yea, that idea has been squirrelling its way into my head lately. Look forward to that at some point; how’s your day? 🥴🥴🥴

• ㅡㅅㅡ anon

ok, damn?? i gotta share this with everybody lol 😼

totally see jimin doing that, always wanting to be in control, a literal daredevil 🫢 he's so hot tbh

thanks for sending me this idea 🫶🏻 my day was good!! hope yours was too 🤍 x

[biarritzzz]

I'm having rape fatigue.

A French rapist (with an Arabic name) has been cruising for victims on Tinder to the point he is nicknamed Tinder rapist. His technique was to drug his victims then rape them. Multiple women pressed charges, the police either did nothing or released him with an electronic bracelet and nothing happened. Now there are too many victims coming forward (16 so far) so it's too big to ignore and the police have to do something.

Nothing new here.

The kicker? The women he raped all 1) agreed to meet him at his apartment 2) agreed to have a drink he made for them and in some cases even took drugs from this guy they had never met before and 3) agreed to a photoshoot since he claimed to be a professional photographer. One of them even let this guy stay at her apartment for weeks (wtf).

I just... can't. Meeting in a public place for a first date and watching your drink is basic common sense for women. His victims are at least in their late twenties. Why are so many women so fucking naive and dumb. It's so frustrating because obviously that POS should hang but how can you save women from themselves when they do such stupid things. Yeah this is victim-blaming but how can you look at this and not conclude this is female masochism. Not to mention that guy is called Salim and he sure wasn't going after muslim women who don't sleep around before marriage and who would never agree to go to a random man's apartment. He was specifically targeting French European women. In other words: 'whores'