#cries in neurodivergent

[rmhashauthor]

That's just the neurodivergent experience in a nutshell.

"You'll get it. You just need to try harder."

"I am trying. I'm trying harder than anyone. Do you know how humiliating it is to struggle with something everyone else can just do?"

[my-autism-adhd-blog]

Autistic and “struggling to “let go”

Neurodivergent Lou

[outsidersheadcanons]

Ponyboy’s the kinda guy to. have a complete mental breakdown after too much shit happens in one week (or if he’s tired or stressed or smth) 😭

[ouaw-facts-i-just-made-up]

Gideon loves sour candy because it's a helpful and tasty way to ground himself during flashbacks and panic attacks. At the very least it grounds his senses and helps him think more clearly.

In the Goblin Market episode, Kremy gave Gideon the extreme equivalent of a War Head because he noticed Gid was showing stress that was triggering his truama related to hobgoblins. He was trying to direct his attention to something less anxiety inducing to prevent him from spiraling into a panic attack.

This is a true fact.

I think this is great. Sometimes, while i enjoy the humor, I think it can get in the way of interesting character decisions. Mostly with Gideon, I've noticed. That's not a slight against Mace at all, just that I wish we got more with him being heavily affected by spending ~10 years in slavery. (Although admittedly i laugh everytime at the little "I have morals alright...but not when candy's free!")

And this would make a lot of sense for that part specifically. Kremy was obviously trying to cheer him up after he very blatantly rejected supporting it. Not only were the candy's made by children who were captured and forced to work, just like he was, but he specifically mentions not trusting it also because it's a goblin camp, to which Gricko gets a little offended, but it some makes sense to be a little distrustful when goblinoids kidnapped and tortured you.

And i mean, in that situation, of course he'd be at the very least uneasy, but probably on the verge of some sort of panic attack or disassociation episode. He feels surrounded and he also feels extremely upset at seeing kids going through what he did. So, like you said, Kremy tries to bring him back down. And it worked, thankfully. Though I feel like when they get to make camp he's gonna need a little more time.

It's a quick solution, and temporary. But sometimes that what you need in the feywild.

[keiru-the-worm]

⚠️SPOILERS ALERT FOR THE NEW EPISODE OF THE AMAZING DIGITAL CIRCUS + TRIGGER WARNING FOR SUICIDE AND DEPRESSION⚠️

I'm so absolutely normal about the new tadc episode hah... anyway here's a huge rant about my thoughts on it, mainly on gangle because i relate to her in a painful level

i really enjoy how this episode talks about mundanity/routine, being a creative person AND neurodivergent in the world, masking your emotions in front of everyone. feeling like your dreams don't matter and you'll never achieve them, you'll just be forced to work a minimal job for the rest of your life and never do anything "meaningfull". and how easy it is to fall into routine and just get used to living in the auto pilot

this line in the start of the episode "it feels normal, in a good way" when gangle tries on the mask reads to me as masking to please everyone, feeling like you're"normal" for once

gangle being the one to suggest this adventure tells me she just wanted a bit of normalcy and routine, something familiar for once.

but once she actually gets to the adventure you can clearly see she HATED the routine back in her old life. the same "working all day, every day, over and over again". feeling isolated like you have no one ((big indicator her being the one to always close the restaurant alone))

the line pomni said about "having someone to talk about your problems" reinforces to me that gangle truly felt isolated back in life, like she could not be herself around anyone and had to, get this, put on a mask to feel "normal"

by the way she looked so upset when everyone told her they found her annoying or that they didn't like the adventure she suggested, it seemed she was actually """proud""" of being a menager back in life as seen phrase "being a shift menager was my job at some point" in the moment she sounds very confident.

this also makes me think gangle's coworkers might have not liked her back in life too, maybe she really had NO friends and people thought she was a bit of a pushover.

at end of the shift she seems so fucking EXHAUSTED, exhausted of pretending, she genuinely seems like going to "crack under the pressure" like everything has finally became too much

but when something finally changes in her routine ((pomni offering to end the shift for her)) gangle gets absolutely ECSTATIC, she was so absolutely out of it when exiting the restaurant

and in the end when she's smiling even with the tragedy mask and throws the other mask away to me it looks like finally unmasking. ((neurodivergency type)) that she no longer is "pretending" to be happy, pretending to be something she isn't, her happiness is so genuine here.

the truck hitting her and the phrase "going kooky and running into oncoming traffic" could very well be a metaphor to finally cracking under all the pressure and just giving up, believing your dreams are not worth following and not finding purpose in your mundane life anymore.

so many times, specially when she's alone and there's no one around, gangle is just stoic and emotionless, like she's just...dull.

end of rant/final thoughts: gangle is a neurodivergent coded character to me and VERY relatable as a neurodivergent artist who also hopes to make a living off of art. she is a very real character and an unfortunate but extremely common example of what so many of us go through specially recently that the industry has not been so great for us

[thatonegaybrit]

; " sorry guys ‼️💔❌ the autism attacked 💔💔🙏 "

[setcolder]

I have a saiteru fanfic in mind that im not sure i have the words for it but this is how it goes down. (College setting)

Kokomi asked kusuo on home date, coming over to her unit and had decided "let's go watch queen of tears!"

He agreed because 1) it was about to be released that night so no spoiler will come to his head 2) he's unwilling to do moving activities. Perfect.

They watched it. Kokomi were very invested. She star rambling at how nice the actor & actress performed and interesting plot. "THE TENSION! THE LONGING!!!" she screamed to the air.

Kusuo just nods. He admits the quality production was great. But that's it. He's tired and he will be sleeping. He then pin her goodbye and teleported.

She invite him again next week. And the week after, she got businesses to attend so no dates for today. The morning they got into class, she said she was very tired. "I wonder if haein found out about the divorce"

Kusuo, quietly: "he didn't"

Kokomi went "?"

"did u watch that yourself?"

"...."

"WITHOUT ME???"

"if i watch it later, there's too much spoiler."

"BUT WHY ARE YOU SPOILING IT FOR ME"

Kokomi shake him for leaving her behind on watching new episodes. She was like "watch it again. with me." And kusuo were just agreeing bc he didn't mind. New details to catch up on the second screening. This time, he start commenting on the characters's decision to their actions. Commentary like "well can't blame her" "he suffered so it's hard for both"

Kokomi, paying attention at his side: "you like this show so much didn't you"

Kusuo ignored her. She start pestering on who's your favorite hm. Is the actor actresses pretty? Prettier than me? What about-

And he teleported to fill his glass of water.

At the last episode airing, the site doesn't update as the usual schedule. It's supposed to be uploaded on 10.20pm, but it's almost 11 o'clock and it's not here yet?!?! Kokomi noticed him panicking and even got his germanium ring and everything.

[tookishcombeferre]

i have wrapped myself in melodies like a lost child in blankets for a long as i can remember. blindly, i have felt my way through labyrinths seeking the safe havens beneath the organ listening for the red flares of the sun seeking the face, my prosopagnosia will not lose in the mall and the voice my synesthesia loves to paint with. dutifully, i have imagined flying picking up the broom in my hands belting as loudly as i can and soaring far above the clouds - painting my skin green because it is passable the only "girl's" role i have ever wanted. fearfully, i hide beneath the table, dodging bits of smashed glass. sometimes, the doctor and i lie side by side and wonder what not lying by omission might feel like. at other times, the creature and i discuss what it might mean to be loved. lovingly, i cradle their faces my parent's hands cupping each school boy's cheeks, as i memorize voices singing "drink with me; remember my life means something." names, i do not remember, but the songs, their communion, i know. note by note, i sing myself a home: an underground lake, a castle in the west a disheveled lab armchair, a house on rue plumet, and - when i am sad- i run home to the music notes that have made me who i am. in the labyrinth, i defy gravity, and feel alive; for they tell me "who am i?": a musical medley of a life of near thirty years - p. s. shuller.

[cookinguptales]

pmdd has you crying in bed like "and the fact that I cry for like three days every month is another reason why no one will ever love me!!!"

patently ridiculous illness

[daily-property-police]

Day 643- FEELINGS WOAUG

[hyperfixation-fix]

Aight so.

Just reblogged a post that mentioned Nico canonically having depression (totally agree), but I wanted to talk about my other headcanons around Nico's mental health AND MORE IMPORTANTLY his recovery journey.

(AN IMPORTANT NOTE: I'm very wary of talking about headcanons involving mental illness, bc it can easily cross the line into romanticising mental illness. I grew up in that kind of online space, and it's toxic af and makes recovery almost impossible. So I want to emphasise, especially for younger fans who read this - Nico gets better, canonically and in my headcanons. So did I. So will you. It takes work, and often it's not a painless or pretty process, but it's so much better than letting yourself rot away in the dark. Romanticise being well, being happy, and getting better.)

In my head, Nico is autistic. But I think he's been so traumatised and so dissociated for so long that he doesn't even really realise how much things affect him, how much easier things could be if he gave himself permission to be the way he is.

FOR EXAMPLE. I think he is specifically very sensory-sensitive, but he's so disconnected from his body and brain that he doesn't really realise it. He just always feels Bad™️ and has never been safe enough to figure out why. So then, once he gets comfortable at CHB and really starts to finally feel safe and present, he starts to slowly untangle things bit by bit. Will is a big part of this - he's very intuitive and notices stress queues in Nico before Nico even realises he's stressed.

It starts off with Will noticing Nico avoiding crowds, which isn't necessarily weird for a kid who spent the last several years with ghosts, but then he realises it's not actually the people that bother him. It's the noise. Like, Nico avoids the Apollo Cabin as much as possible, even when it's completely empty except for Will, bc it's constantly got music playing a little too loud. Nico doesn't even really know why he doesn't like it and doesn't really bother thinking much about it, but Will is like "huh that's interesting". And, as he gets closer with Nico, that pattern becomes more and more apparent - in noisy places, Nico becomes tense and guarded, but in quiet places he's more relaxed. Then Will notices Nico's sensitivity to textures. Some clothes are consistently "grumpy Nico clothes" and some are "happy Nico clothes".

Will decides to run little experiments, making subtle changes around Nico and taking note of Nico's reaction. For example, suggesting Nico change clothes before a date because "I like the black jeans better" ie "the black jeans are a softer denim and stiff denim makes you grumpy". Or swapping out Nico's sheets bc "whoops my bad, I was practicing wound cleaning and spilled supplies all over them! But don't worry, I've replaced them with a new set so it's all good," ie "your sheets were cheapass 100% cotton and rough af and that's why you haven't had a good night's sleep like, ever, so here's a high-quality satin (or whatever, idk fabrics) set that probably won't bother you as much." And lo and behold, Nico sleeps like a baby every night after that. Or orchestrating a whole plan to get Nico into the Apollo Cabin when it's quiet (music gets turned low, siblings are threatened with weeks of dish duty if they don't keep it down), and seeing if he's less on edge. AND HE IS.

And eventually Nico picks up on Will's increasingly elaborate accommodation experiments (Will is simply having way too much fun at this point - he feels super sneaky, finds it hilarious that Nico still isn't noticing, and also just loves seeing Nico less stressed out) and is like "Solace I know you're up to something, out with it or else." And at that point Will is like "ok bet" and pulls out a fucking spreadsheet (Annabeth taught him how to use excel (yeh I know demigods don't vibe with tech but this is my headcannon so deal with it) with great joy and little-to-no interest in why he actually wanted to learn) with a bunch of Nico's triggers and sensitivities and the success rates of different accommodations. Nico is like "I'm actually going to kill you, you've been fucking with my brain for months????" but is barely containing how curious he is and how sweet he actually finds it that Will has thought so much about how to make Nico happy. But Will knows, especially when Nico, even while grumbling, takes the spreadsheet with him.

The next day Will presents Nico with a present he was saving for the final big-reveal: some loop earplugs or something similar. Discrete and practical 😌 Will just leaves them next to Nico's bed with a cute lil sticky note that says "Before you orchestrate my untimely demise as promised, give these a go. Consider it the last request of a dead man walking ;) love you Neeks x".

And that's that. The earplugs make a massive difference, much to Nico's surprise and Will's smug satisfaction, and from then on Nico starts to reconnect with himself and gets better and better at recognising things that make him more comfortable, and using them. Will considers his experiment over (a resounding success, of course), but is unwaveringly supportive and helpful as Nico figures stuff out.

Lol that became very long sorry, but it made me happy to write it out hehehe

[lawbreaker13]

So are we just not going to discuss the perfectly depicted struggles of a nonverbal child in the new Human Resources season, or...?

[qcoded]

small comic because my art is going to be the death of me

[amusingmusie]

musie, hello!!! I wanted to ask who your other favorite characters are from Hazbin and why?? do you also like Helluva Boss?

Heeeey!

I've watched Helluva Boss and I really liked Season 1! Season 2 kinda lost me so I've stopped watching, but I still respect the show and the acclaim it has.

As for my other favorite Hazbin characters! Okay, soooooo, I don't think there are any characters in the show that I dislike, but I have my favorites. In no particular order:

Velvette. That's my WIFE. She is a horrible person but it's okay I can fix her just enough that she stops committing horrible crimes but stays a little mean cuz I <3 mean redheaded women!!!

Alastor. Duuuuuhhhh but uh.....I prefer pilot Alastor to series Alastor, A LOT. That's no hate to Amir, he killed it, it's the writing and personality changes that I don't vibe with. I miss how outwardly jovial he was with dark, sinister undertones. He was very much a "show, don't tell" character that quickly became a "tell, don't show" one in my eyes.

Vaggie! I fucking love Chaggie and I love Vaggie's backstory. She also cracks me up being one of the more level-headed characters in the show while everyone else is bouncing off of the walls.

Okay, so....by far....my COMFORT character is....

Husk. Husker. Husky. HUSK HUSK HUSK HUSK HUSK HUSK!!!! I have really adored the whiskey cat since the pilot days but wasn't super open about it, but then during my hiatus my attachment to his character GREW EXPONENTIALLY. He activates my daddy issues but not like, in a sexual way, more of a "ooooooohhh father figure" kind of way. I know Lucifer is the fandom dad, I just find him way too nice, I need someone a little gruffer that I can irritate nonstop. Give me grumpy ass old man that's nice only to the people he really cares about PLEASE.

I'm cringe. I know.

[killemwithkawaii]

Emotional hangovers are so fucking stupid.

"Oh, you went out and had an especially good time in a highly stimulating environment for a few hours? Nice going, you just cashed in 3 days worth of dopamine. Get Meh, jackass."