#crack * / post

[sayangrafayel]

MC, laying in bed: Get out of my room.

Caleb, standing just outside of the door frame: I’m not in your room.

[colossrat]

the context is Billy and Marvel were separated, but Marvel's physical form took the form of a child instead of remaining in his adult form Marvel, making a puppy face: make a report??? But i am de-aged...

Superman, giving him a tablet to write on it: Yeah buddy, i know... But batman is asking... more like demanding.

Marvel, who wanted to take advantage of being in a separate body from Billy to play with him and not deal with hero stuff: that sonofabitch, his head is full of poopoo!!

Billy is already thinking about what life will be like after they are kicked out of the league

This is from that South Park audio-- I don't watch South Park, but I heard the audio and I thought it was funny

[loservillepopulationthirteen]

The League of Assassins were doing their normal nefarious things. Specifically in Gotham. Damian, Tim, Jason and Cass (aka all those related to league of assassins) were sent back in time to the 2010s with enemies hot on their tails. They need disguises that will fool the enemy but hopefully help them find their allies... with the power of music

Jason Derulo, Justin TIMberlake, lil Wayne/da baby (as deviously dubbed by them), and Cain short for Cain and Abel

[myrxellabaratheon]

In the scene of the falling stairs at Moria, there was no reason for Aragorn to throw himself into Legolas’s arms once he and Frodo manage to get on the other side, he just did it to show everyone else who Legolas belongs to

[lolazoel]

I'm sorry to do this to all of you but here me out...

Butterflies

Some king, i dunno who, and also i don't care who, found out about Merlin's magic, kidnapped him and a few knights of our choosing... hm... how about Gwaine, Lance and Percy?

Merlin is shackled in cold iron, kneeling in front of the throne. Off to the side three of his friends kneel, stripped of their armour and weapons.

King: I will take those shackles off of you and you will slaughter the army of Camelot sent to retrieve you.

Merlin: Go fuck yourself

King: If you don't comply I will kill your friends.

Lance: Merlin! Don't! Whatever they will do to us, Arthur is coming! Just wait for Arthur! Don't risk yourself!

Merlin: Alright. Take the shackles off. I'll take down the soldiers.

King: *believes him*

Merlin: *kills all the guards in the room so Gwaine, Lance and Percy are free. Pushes the king into his throne before magically binding him there* You know, people always are so demanding. Do this Merlin, do that Merlin, make this happen Merlin. Do you wanna know what I wanna do?

King: *whimpers*

Merlin: I just want to make some fucking butterflies. *swarm of butterflies bursts forward from his body, fluttering towards the king and slowly eats him*

Knights: *sweatdrop*

Arthur, who just fought his way into the room to rescue his friends (internally): i'll give merlin a day off... whenever he asks.

Merlin: *watches as a butterfly lands on his finger as if he's a disney princess.* life really is much prettier with butterflies.

[kittenscookie]

Modern Epic Au Crack because I lack self control

Baby (3-Year-Old) Jason:

Luke: ...What the fuck!?

Baby Jason: Fok!

Nico: *Le Gasp in 1930s*

Annabeth: What happened to him!?

Percy: I don't know! One minute he's showing me how fast he can pick a lock—

Luke: Sweet, he's practicing!

Percy: —The next he's a toddler!

Baby Jason: ...*Walks towards Luke*

Luke: WoahwoahwoahWOAH! NOPE STAY AWAY FROM ME!

Annabeth: Stay away from you!?

Luke: Annie, he's like two and a half steps away from infancy! Children are one thing—I can deal with children—babies are another thing entirely! I am self aware enough to know I should not be trusted with a damn baby!

Baby Jason: *Whines and makes grabby hands towards Luke*

Luke: NOPENOPENOPE! STAY AWAY FROM ME BABY!

Baby Jason: Daddy!

Everyone In The Vicinity: ...

Luke: ...*Bust into violent soul shattering sobs as he picks baby Jason up*

Luke: You're my baby! You're my baby and I love you so much! OH GODS—

Leo: *Whispering* When Nico said Jason's basically Luke's son now I thought he was exaggerating!?

Will: Come on man, he's called him dad like three times why is this shocking to you?

Annabeth: Okay let's take a few steps back, one—does anyone know how this happened? And two—how do we change him back!?

Luke: *Cuddling baby Jason while still sobbing violently*

[olailamajnoon]

Dick, on the phone: *leans away* Clark says hi, guys.

Tim: Hi!

Jason: Hi.

Cassandra: Hi.

Stephanie: Hi.

Duke: Hi!

Damian: Hi.

Dick, on the phone: Clark they all say hi back.

Bruce to himself, so done: Truly a pinnacle of human communication. I say something they ignore me, but it's all 'hi' like synchronized idiots when it comes to Clark.

Clark, faintly audible: Bruce I heard that.

[sweeneydino]

A poetic writer, scholar, genius, scientist, and evil ruler.

Can you tell that I fucking love that 2012 shredder pic?

Strangely this took 2hours. Usually im quicker than that. Im very tired—

[violent138]

Thinking of Bruce downing like a sizable amount of pain meds due to tolerance and abnormal levels of pain so he can still function and because he's normally so quiet and now he's buzzed quiet there's no outwardly apparent difference unless you're Alfred or one of his kids or Clark. And while Bruce's favourite thing to do in this state is attend WE board meetings, he occasionally has to head to the Watchtower.

Emergencies sober him up fast, but the second a need for coherency ends he lapses back to mellow. Nobody notices that he's been nodding continuously because Clark keeps subtly coughing or lightly kicking his chair.

Works perfectly until Clark kicks it out and Bruce goes down like a stringless puppet.

[kens-ramblings]

i personally like to think instead of Tim putting on a siren or something when he gave warning for the whole blowing up LOA buildings and stuff he played Blow by Kesha and figured they’d get the hint (it worked surprisingly well). I just think it’s funnier if we let tim be extra cunty even when he’s literally having the worst time in his life :D

i also think it’d be hilarious if like a couple years down the road the batfam still has like no clue what tim did while he was on his bruce hunt. like whenever they ask he just gets a haunted look and says “you don’t wanna know” and calls it a day. but somehow(maybe ra’s sent it to them for some power play type thing???) they get footage of this specific instance. and all of them are looking at tim in varying amounts of horror(except jason, because i also like to think he’s the only one who sees through tim’s normal human mask and sees him as unhinged as he is) and tim has to be like “well shucks guys i needed a little bit of humor in my life at the time idk what to tell you”

[sayangrafayel]

Crow family Pt. Sign here.

MC: We're having twins.

Luke and Kieran: Oh, awesome! Congratula-

Sylus, slamming adoption papers onto the table: It's you guys, sign here.

[thekingofspin]

[amirmeavid]

I know the fandom generally agrees merlin and arthur would sort out the magic ban before getting married. But i got to say it would be objectively hilarious to watch King/Prince Consort of fucking Camelot, the OG magic hater, just prance around, lax as fuck because who the hell is brave enough to accuse the literal 2nd most important person in Albion of breaking the law? 🤣

Like just imagine all the dialogues that could come out of it:

Magic-Hating Noble: I watched the chair levitate!

Merlin: I was the only other person in the room at the time... :/

Arthur: Are you accusing your King Consort of sorcery? *royal angry face*

Magic-Hating Noble: No! No... sire.

Arthur: Are you... accusing yourself of sorcery?

Magic-Hating Noble: ...

*merlin in the background making no effort to hide the fact that he's literally reading a spell book*

Merlin: *Teleporting into a busy council meeting because he's late*

Everyone: *Stares*

Merlin:

Arthur:

Everyone:

Arthur: *clapping his hands* Anyway, lets get this meeting started!

Merlin: *coming back from very publicly creating a massive storm to defeat some magical attack* Weird weather we're having right guys?

One of Uther's Loyalists: *literal steam coming out of his ears but too traditional to contradict a royal*

Merlin: *swans off, spell book in hand*

Let me know if you want more!

PART 2:

https://www.tumblr.com/amirmeavid/763239515298103296/part-2-full-disclosure-i-was-not-expecting-people?source=share

[myrxellabaratheon]

I’m rewatching the fellowship of the ring (extended version, this time) mostly because I’m working on my Galadriel cosplay and it’s almost impossible to find HD pictures of the dress and please tell me I’m not the only one who thinks the only reason why Legolas joined the Fellowship was to spend more time with Aragorn

[chuunardo]

The twinkification of Jax

Did anyone think of this yet or was it just me lmao

[justaneedle]

You killed me, thank you.

Modern Epic Au Crack because I lack self control

Baby (3-Year-Old) Jason:

Luke: ...What the fuck!?

Baby Jason: Fok!

Nico: *Le Gasp in 1930s*

Annabeth: What happened to him!?

Percy: I don't know! One minute he's showing me how fast he can pick a lock—

Luke: Sweet, he's practicing!

Percy: —The next he's a toddler!

Baby Jason: ...*Walks towards Luke*

Luke: WoahwoahwoahWOAH! NOPE STAY AWAY FROM ME!

Annabeth: Stay away from you!?

Luke: Annie, he's like two and a half steps away from infancy! Children are one thing—I can deal with children—babies are another thing entirely! I am self aware enough to know I should not be trusted with a damn baby!

Baby Jason: *Whines and makes grabby hands towards Luke*

Luke: NOPENOPENOPE! STAY AWAY FROM ME BABY!

Baby Jason: Daddy!

Everyone In The Vicinity: ...

Luke: ...*Bust into violent soul shattering sobs as he picks baby Jason up*

Luke: You're my baby! You're my baby and I love you so much! OH GODS—

Leo: *Whispering* When Nico said Jason's basically Luke's son now I thought he was exaggerating!?

Will: Come on man, he's called him dad like three times why is this shocking to you?

Annabeth: Okay let's take a few steps back, one—does anyone know how this happened? And two—how do we change him back!?

Luke: *Cuddling baby Jason while still sobbing violently*