#crack hcs

[n0tamused]

A/n: Not a one-shot but crack hcs! Hope you enjoy. I don't often write crack stuff but it is really fun when I get to it :)

Content: Dr. Ratio x Reader, can be read as platonic or romantic, no pronouns used, just crack overall, short and sweet

-While Ratio can have lots of patience for people of all walks of life, he has found a challenge within you and your form of intellect.. It would be arguably the first time Ratio has found himself in some form of a stumped state due to some of your questionable actions or phrases. He just has to sit back and wait for a moment until his brain sets itself back in place and he can think straight again

-He often scolds you, but no matter what he says it's like your brain translates it to something completely different, and even if his words are harsh you take it as if he complimented you and praised you to no end?

-Man is confused. To say the least

-Once he caught you losing nearly all your money against Aventurine, stating “third time's the charm”. YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW POKER?! Even Aventurine was laughing along in all the confusion one can show without being odd, and he had to say he wouldn’t have taken the money,  this was just a ‘friendly-fire’ sort of thing, he says. Well that’s lucky for you, considering you had rent and food to pay for!

-He drags you away while you jest about it and also apologize too, because he looks like he’ll explode

-Ratio may or may have not hit the top of your head with his codex..once or twice, but it’s all in good spirits - trust

-He really does mean well, especially if he seriously sees you struggling with something. He won’t hand you the answers on a silver platter unless it's a last resort sort of thing, but he would prefer to guide you to the answer, basically making you think outside the box and such until you arrive at the answer yourself. He is always open to advice and keeps an open mind, and with that he could entertain an idea you may have, yes.. even the more... silly ones. But also be ready to be shut down immediately for the absurd ideas you may bring up. He doesn't waste time nor does he like or plan to.

-Dr. Ratio is the voice of reason in your life, and he's there to reel you back to the ground when you may be getting ideas for something that would not benefit you, or god forbid - if you plan to do something risky that could harm you or your reputation.

-He often goes out of his way to make sure you’re doing things on schedule, so waking you up, sending you a message to eat (no crisps, go eat something good, something healthy), he’d send you articles about things he remembers interest you, papers on your favored topics

-A more tender thing he does is do your hair. It’s a simple thing yet it means a lot to him and you. Just a few minutes of quiet as his fingers thread or comb through your hair, brushing through it with meticulous moves, making sure he doesn’t pull or yank. 

Ⓒ n0tamused. Do not repost, translate, edit, and/or copy any of my works. Likes, comments, and reblogs are appreciated.

[luckyythirteen]

Throw Wesker in a timeloop during the final day of his supposed actual death in re5. No matter what he does he will jump back to the start of the day. Chris and Sheva kill him "AAAHHHH IM LOOOPINGGG". He kills Chris "AHHH IM LOOOPPPING". He kills himself " AHHHH IM FUCKING LOOOOPPPPIIIIINNNGGG". He had enough and tries to run away "IM LOOOOOOOOOOPPPPPPPIIIIIIINNNGGGG" There's probably a way to end the loop but Wesker isn't going to figure out anytime soon. So can I have hcs of Wesker suffering pls 🤲

THIS IS MAKING ME ABSOLUTELY LOSE IT I LOVE TIME LOOP CONCEPTS

- after doing literally everything he can to refrein from looping again i think he'd try to convince sheva and chris they're all in a time loop

- cue typical shenanigans of Chris & Sheva not believing him and he starts predicting things they'll say & react

- they all gotta team up to find a way out of this time loop

- bonus points if wesker starts the time loop again out of pettiness, hes working with Chris and chris snaaks off and he shoots him point blank then wakes up in the loop like "worth it"

- Sheva has to wrangle these 2 in because Wesker and Chris will NOT stop bickering

- wesker probably starts to keep a journal of the loops and jotting down everything that happens so he can get a rough idea what the common factor is

I have no idea what would be the way to end it so thats up to y'all lmfao

[bushelofmuses]

Varric: here, get yourself something nice, Kid

Cole: -buys a doll for a child just up the street instead-

Varric: not like that

[blood-orange-juice]

This is the best crack theory I've seen.

Phanes is Trayzzyronth

(explains how he made shades of himself)

Obviously not true but I think /r/Genshin_Lore can pack their things and go home now.

[gumiiiiezzzz]

* ੈ✩‧₊˚ oops! smau

summary: the 1st and 2nd year boys accidentally confess they like you (fellow student)!!!

warnings: f!reader, sfw, yuta’s convo is slightly suggestive, fluff/crack!, kys jokes

includes: toge inumaki, megumi fushiguro, yuji itadori, and yuta okkotsu * ੈ✩‧₊˚

* ੈ✩‧₊˚ my first ever smau post hehe! lmk if you guys liked or have any suggestions :P

* ੈ✩‧₊˚ inumaki being chronically online just… is one of the best jjk fanon tropes of all time ngl

* ੈ✩‧₊˚ submit requests! (if u want)! please! and thank u! 🫡

* ੈ✩‧₊˚ art creds and spilled frustrations ab ai art below line LMAO

* ੈ✩‧₊˚ link to header art: https://pin.it/mKP2o2S95

* ੈ✩‧₊˚ yuji pfp art: @11101AM on twt; megumi pfp art: FUCKING AI (i’ll change it for next time, im a boomer i GUESS i didnt realize how much of this was ai art im- 😐); toge pfp art: jujutsu kaisen anime heh; yuta pfp art: @zec3x on insta

* ੈ✩‧₊˚ i think the header is also ai generated ugh :/ i could not find the artist ANYWHERE but if anyone knows lmk i will give credit!!!!!

[squeakyducky]

If MC wants someone to do a favour for them, all they have to do is go hug the character's arm, catch them off guard. Muster up the sweetest expression they can make and bat their pretty eyelashes at his questioning gaze and whisper out their wishes to him. And they're putty in your arms despite how smug they look. It works against even the difficult ones like Barbatos, Lucifer or Belphie. They WILL give into it. I guarantee it 100%. The easiest ones are, you guessed it Mammon, Levi and Beelzebub.

[mee-op]

Facts about in-game Yuu (Twisted Wonderland):

NOTES:

This is an ongoing list and will be updated with new information. I'm not caught up w/ chap 6 and I'm not very perceptive. This list is so long because of all the people who commented/sent asks, so thank you Last but not least, some of these might be a stretch/be slightly incorrect so bare w/ me plz :] More Yuu facts [ ONE / TWO ] <- not mine

They've been good friends with Heartslabyul ever since Book 1.

They're forgiving/don't hold any bad blood with the people who've overblotted (at least on the outside).

According to the Harveston event, they can play the flute.

They don't like mentioning that they might return to their world (Deuce's Wishing Star vignette).

Many people consider them a "goody-two-shoes" (Leona, Ruggie).

A good listener.

Based on Malleus' interactions with them, Yuu talks to him a lot more off-screen as he states that he values their opinions.

Loves Grim to hell and back.

It's implied that Yuu invites Malleus over frequently enough that he visits unprompted.

They can be snarky and brutally honest when they're pushed into it.

Comes up with stupid plans that nobody believes will work but it somehow does.

They're insecure about not having any magic.

They want to be able to help their friends.

Has a sense of self-preservation.

Does not actively seek out danger (*cough* om mc *cough*).

They've cleaned up Ramshackle since living there, however, it still looks "abandoned & ancient" on the outside.

Crowley doesn't give them more money than "needed".

Silver states that Yuu is good with swords (PE Uniform).

Both Jamil and Silver seem to think that Yuu is somewhat weird/strange.

They don't know much about mushrooms (Floyd's Camp Vargas vignette).

They're very patient.

Used to be afraid of ghosts until they got to Twisted Wonderland.

They adapt to new/difficult situations quickly and calmly.

They don't complain much.

Very much so the silent type.

The audience doesn't really see anyone helping them out with their situation, so I assume they fix most of their problems themselves.

They don't have any memories of the Great Seven before coming to Twisted Wonderland.

Fluctuates between being observant and not noticing really basic stuff.

Doesn't hesitate to say cheesy things.

Keeps calm in harsh situations.

They know how to play a blowing horn (White Rabbit Event).

Good with instruments.

Not a very good singer (NRC Uniform).

It's implied that they have high stamina.

They're interested in horseback riding and wants to play soccer with Sebek (PE Uniform).

They recommend a few books to Sebek, implying that they read in their free time.

They're short in comparison to Floyd (he calls them Shrimpy).

Grim comments that they're shorter than Vil.

Crowley mumbles that Yuu looks effeminate.

They're a bit of a romantic since they seem to often ask about love stories/fairy tales (Epel & Jade chats).

They have a habit of poking, tugging, tickling and just touching people in general. This is proven through the Home Screen character interactions, so their love language seems to be physical touch.

They get scared easily but is bad at scaring others (Halloween voice lines).

Vil notes that their uniform is baggy.

Malleus says that Yuu has gotten better at dancing (Masquerade Event).

It's implied that Yuu is good/decent at cooking since they have to make meals for both themself and Grim every day.

Yuu is decent at basketball (Ace Halloween).

Deuce remarks about a tiny piece of furniture in Ramshackle and asks if it's for Grim, meaning Yuu makes small furniture for him.

They're a good photographer.

Takes part in photography competitions (Rook Port Fest).

It's implied that Yuu carries their ghost camera everywhere because Crowley constantly makes them record events.

It's said that the game cards are actual photos that Yuu took with the ghost camera. [I don't know if this is true but a lot of people have said so]

Most, if not all the characters tell Yuu to hurry up when choosing a class, which suggests that they're indecisive.

Ace, Deuce and Cater tell Yuu to relax during classes or else they'll run out of energy.

Jack says that he got tips from Yuu while he was working in Monstro Lounge, implying that Yuu might've worked in customer service before (Book 3).

According to Grim, they have a hard time saying no to people, but when they absolutely need to-- they're very serious and a bit intimidating. "You're a real sap sometimes, you know that? Then again, when you bare your teeth it's no joke."

While they won't say no to helping others, they prefer to keep to themselves and avoid drama.

Yuu is sometimes a bit distrustful of Ace and thinks he's tricking them if he offers to do anything nice (2024 Player Birthday Greetings).

It doesn't take much to make them happy. (Deuce & Idia 2024 Player Birthday Greetings).

They became nervous when Riddle invited them to a salon for their birthday. Riddle response saying "I'll be right there with you, and will instruct you in etiquette every step of the way."

They're competitive in class-- at least when it comes to Jack (2024 Player Birthday Greetings).

They took chess lessons to try and beat Leona in a match (2024 Player Birthday Greetings).

For their birthday, Yuu asks Azul to get something that's supposedly hard for an average collector to acquire.

They're surprised when Kalim gifts them a pop-up card for their birthday.

They own a pair of fingerless gloves (gifted by Epel).

They personally invited Vil over for their birthday party and made sure to have healthy food options for him.

Not very close with Idia.

Owns a glass tumbler that reads 'Happy Birthday!' (gifted by Ortho).

Lilia gives them a CD with his screamo performances.

They were gifted so many presents on their birthday that they had trouble carrying the gifts around. (Malleus 2024 Player Birthday Greetings).

[l3viat8an]

MC: Careful now. If you keep being sweet, I'll start thinking you're in love with me.

Solomon: What could I have possibly done to make you think I'm not??

[fisshbones]

Just for funsies, how do they refer to your chest !!

Suggestive?/shitpost : do not take this srsly pls im just having fun imagining this 😭 FT: Most of the genshin adults ♡

Boobs->

Mualani, Furina, Kaveh, Kazuha, Emilie, Thoma, Lynette, Eula, Gorou, Lisa, Ganyu, Diluc, Tighnari, Cyno, Ningguang.

Tits->

Kinich, Arlecchino, Yae Miko, Dehya, Wanderer, Xiao, Dottore, Shenhe, Ayato, Yelan, Chiori, Al Haitham, Rosaria, Mavuika.

Milk Jugs->

Childe, Venti, Itto, Hu Tao, Columbina, Capitano, Beidou.

Breasts->

Neuvillette, Clorinde, Raiden Ei, Zhongli, Baizhu, Albedo, Pantalone, Ayaka, Xianyun.

Melons->

Yomiyia, Lyney, Nilou, Navia, Amber, Kokomi, Wriothesley, Mona, Kaeya, Kirara.

Then there’s Itto who’s the only one that calls them chesticles (¬_¬)

[lunaoyabun]

Dirty secrets

Including: Gojo, Nanami, Sukuna & Toji

🔞 NSFW 🔞 MDNI

───────────── ཐི❤︎ཋྀ ────────────

[fanaticalthings]

Give me crime lord!Jason who's actually on good terms with the batfam. Not only would it actually be helpful when it comes to missions surrounding underground/illegal operations (Jason would be able to retrieve way more insider knowledge) but also I think having a supervillain family member that you're chill with is just untapped comedic potential that needs to be taken advantage of.

---

Damian gets into a petty fight with Bruce, and the next day, instead of waiting for Bruce to pick him up from school, he calls Jason, who shows up in full Red Hood regalia and just rides off with Damian.

Of course everyone at school sees that Wayne's son just got snatched by Gotham's most notorious crime lord, so ofc when Bruce gets there, sees Damian missing, and hears a series of panicked whispers about a gun slinging, criminal biker riding off with a prince of Gotham, Bruce immediately knows what's up and just sighs, already anticipating the many publication companies he's gonna have to bribe to stay silent.

---

Sometimes, they need Jason's help with intercepting certain illegal trades within the underworld of, not just Gotham, but just common areas where shady businesses are most prevalent. And when Bruce requests that Jason brings evidence of said illegal shipments to the cave, Jason will smugly respond with "I can, but it'll cost ya"

And Bruce is all exasperated like, "Jason, please, this mission's been going on for a month, I just want to get it over with."

And Jason's just looking down at the crate of smuggled materials, recognizes that it's highly sought after by many rogues (maybe it's machinery parts or rare chemical substances, etc) and ofc Jason's about to be petty as hell when responding to Bruce:

Jason: I don't think you have any idea how valuable the stuff I have is. If I sold this myself in my part of the underground, I'd make a fortune!

Bruce: Jason

Jason: Butttt, if you're not willing to pay me for this, y'know, despite being a billionaire, I guess I could just auction this off to another willing client

Bruce: Jason

Jason: I hear Lex Luthor's been cookin' up something new for Superman. I wonder if he'd be interested?

Bruce: Son, please.

Jason:

Bruce:

Jason: I'll give you a family discount.

And it's just a back and forth of this EVERYTIME. And Jason only does it when he's collaborating with Bruce. None of the other bats have to deal with Jason demanding money.

---

There was one time, during a Wayne gala where practically ALL the kids (except Jason, dude's still legally dead), had to show up. And around halfway through, the Red Hood just crashes through the skylight and then just fucking kidnaps Bruce Wayne, in front of everyone. And of course the gala has to be cut short.

Meanwhile, Bruce, in Jason's custody: I CANNOT believe you, son. WHY of all times would you do this? You are GROUNDED, I don't care if you don't live with me anymore, this is just UNACCEPTABLE-

Jason, completely ignoring him, holding up a tablet with news article headlines about this incident: Bruce, look at this shot they got of me crashing through the ceiling, I look fuckin' badass

And then when the fam (in costume) come to "save" Bruce, in a blink and you'll miss it moment, Bruce catches Cass and Jason whispering something to eachother in the corner and them fist bumping before Jason books it out of there. He can already feel a headache brewing.

And generally speaking, I feel like the batfam could be way more efficient with this arrangement. You got the regular team of bats, investigating from above, as well as being able to infiltrate socialite environments as Waynes. Then you got Jason, who can keep an eye on all the lesser exposed and lucrative activities whilst he keeps the underground businesses under his control. I feel like it would be a win win situation that would be hella interesting to see explored.

[blkluci]

𝑴𝑯𝑨 𝒃𝒐𝒚𝒔 and you fighting…

CHARACTERS )) katsuki bakugo, eijiro kirishima, shoto todoroki, izuku midoriya.

PLOT )) a headcanon of the boys seeing you fight.

A/N )) this purely based off my imagination! lil mina slander, todoroki getting down and overall comedic. feel like i should do a part 2 maybe, yall lemme know how yall feel bout this one :) requests are open and hope yall enjoy.

[ 𝐊𝐀𝐓𝐒𝐔𝐊𝐈 ] bakugo heard you mention that this girl has been talking about you. explaining that she’s said things in the hallways and during canteen time. “stop focusing on stupid extras. it's not worth it.” was his response. when you hadn’t mentioned anything about her, he assumed the whole thing was over; boy was he wrong

… kats walked to your 5th period to escort you down to the cafe for lunch

… as he neared the classroom he heard commotion and saw a group forming in front of the door

… for some reason he had a unsettling feeling in his gut and you instantly popped in his mind

-> “get out the damn way extras!”

… pushing people out the way and threatening them he got into the room

… katsuki’s jaw slacked

… he saw you holding tsunotori poni by her horns while mackin her face in

… every punch connected with her face

… he was truly in shock and impressed

… the poor girl tried her hardest to fight you off but winning to no avail; only able to kick her legs

… the teacher, vlad, yelling for students to get away and breaking up the fight

… katsuki couldn’t help but feel a little proud and attracted to this anger that is always concealed from him

… you remind him of himself

-> “alrigh’, you could let ‘er go. you got ‘er”

… he pulls you away and carries you away in his arms

… vlad held the weak girl in his arms as her nose bled

-> “‘ND DON’T EVER SPEAK ABOUT ME AGAIN!”

… he chuckled

[ 𝐄𝐈𝐉𝐈𝐑𝐎 ] kirishima felt the shift in the energy when your fellow classmate, mina, decided to push up her on him KNOWING that’s your man. there’ve been times where she’s done and said things that you had to check her about and she “apologized”. “babe c’mon, don’t feed into it.” she was feeling particularly bold today tho when you checked her at the end of class.

… eijiro didn’t have enough time to react when the desks were shoved out the way and y’all squared up

… you charged at her

… not even giving him time to fully comprehend

… mina thought that she could keep testin you and not get put in place and you did that exactly

… you ate her up!

… dragging her across the floor and knocking her head in

-> “y/n stop!”

… eiji felt adrenaline course through his veins

… fear of you getting hurt, you getting in trouble, mina dying

… eijiro pulled you off of mina but you wouldn’t let her hair go

… you kicked her in her face and she screamed as aizawa and all might rushed to help her

-> “THAT’S WHY YOU KNOTTED!”

… eijiro pulled you out to the hallway

… he was gonna scold you but he could do anything but hold

you as you spilled your anger to him

… he smiles at you and winces when mina passes by being taken to the nurse

-> “ouch, she’s gonna need a little more than just ice”

… he’s gotta fighter on his hands

[ 𝐒𝐇𝐎𝐓𝐎 ] todoroki is obviously to most things; if not, everything. the boy doesn’t seem to catch the girls who constantly are gagging over him. “oh, i’ve never noticed that.” oh and they see you, they know you! BUT OBVIOUSLY not enough. so during lunch, when two girls scroll over to you both and blatantly flirt with him and disrespect you– your boyfriend sees another side of you.

… poor sho never seen someone jump as fast

… your hands instantly connected with the girls face

… knocking the disrespect out her mouth and knocking her to the ground

… shoto sort of panicked when seeing you this angered and beating someone up

… people started to crowd which alerted teachers

… outta nowhere some guy tried to hurt

… shoto wasn’t havin’ it

… his body moved before his mind

… the guy punched sho in the face

… yeah. he saw red

-> “you’re weak.”

… while you stomped that girl in, sho beat that guy up

-> “TRY IT AGAIN!”

… in the end you both were sent to the principals office and reprimanded

… sitting in the chairs outside principal nezu’s office, you guys chatted

-> “he tried it but miserably failed.”

… y’all’s is a dangerous duo

[ 𝐈𝐙𝐔𝐊𝐔 ] midoriya fights all the time, heroically, many times alongside you even. but seeing you in a drama fight is something he doesn’t wanna see. so when you tell him you fighting this girl after school tomorrow he opposes your decision. “b-babe. maybe, not the best idea. please don’t.” you took heed of his words and let it go; till she snuck you.

… izuku was nowhere close when this happened

… denki and mineta were the ones that alerted him

… boy one for all’d his way downstairs

… so many thoughts circled his brain as neared the chaos

… he pushed around everyone and spotted you

-> “babe!”

… the girl under you was leaking from her eye

… you weren’t letting up

… he uses force to pull you two apart and pull you away

… you screamed at yelled to be let go

-> “SNEAKED AND GOT DROPPED!”

… poor izuku had to pull you to a whole other room

… he shook you out of your crazy state

… after izuku helped you to calm down, you explained what happened

… he was mad

… zu was ready to fight too

… but he knew a better way to get back

-> “i’m sorry for not being there but i think you got her bad.”

… the privileges of being all might’s predecessor

See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are! The reason the world does not know us is that it did not know him. (1 John 3:1)

[siriusly-parker]

—jjk smau. “you’re so…”

you call them something-coded

ʚ tags. fem!reader, suggestiveness (nanami + toji), aged up characters, just stupid crack tbh lol

ʚ including. yuuji, satoru, takuma ino, toji, megumi, nanami

꩜ likes, comments + reblogs are very appreciated!! requests are open! <3

[bushelofmuses]

Crack HCs: Hyper

Cole + Caffeine/Sugar = tiny case of the zoomies

Gets hella restless and paces. Speech speeds up. May look for a reason to run around pls god give this man a reason to run.

[strange-birb]

Cough*

Jason’s design……

Next time I’m going to go ham with platforms on him like 👀

Not really a design I app for him. I feel like he’s not gonna go all out he’s just vibing idk. He set the makeup being the most prominent thing. His theme is dead boi

He does actually have the scars but I figure paint them all glowey and no one questions it?

He has fun being the zombie on stage and watching his family squirm when they see him in all the makeup lol

Blue lips cold skin wrecked fingernails

Bruce would have an attack 🤣

I don’t really know what to do with Jason’s designs and I’m open to any ideas fr

Official secret band AU!!!

Steph is drummer. Tim singer. Jason guitarist

I’m debating adding another but it won’t be batfam 🤷‍♀️

Tim.

Steph

ROY

CASS

[gumiiiiezzzz]

* ੈ✩‧₊˚ clueless! smau

summary: the 1st and 2nd year boys are in love with you- and you... well... you're clueless.

warnings: f!reader, sfw, megumi is slightly emotionally constipated, fluff/crack

includes: yuji itadori, megumi fushiguro, and toge inumaki

* ੈ✩‧₊˚ PHEW 😮‍💨 i pumped these smaus OUT in like a day (def not while i was at work)😋

* ੈ✩‧₊˚ hope u guys liked :,) as ALWAYS u can always send me suggestions, asks, or recs <3

* ੈ✩‧₊˚ art creds and character rants below line LMAO

* ੈ✩‧₊˚ i am ALWAYS spreading chronically online toge propaganda

* ੈ✩‧₊˚ jk it's alr canon he a TROLL!!!

* ੈ✩‧₊˚megumi doing things he canonically dislikes: eating mochi (dislikes sweets) and reading fiction (non-fiction fan) is just so perfect jshdihais

* ੈ✩‧₊˚ ACOTAR REFERENCE ANYONE 😏😼 megumi being an emotionally constipated and reserved biddie is… honestly just cannon tbh

* ੈ✩‧₊˚ yuji pfp art: @11101AM on twt; megumi pfp art: @deltanpopo on twt; toge pfp art: jjk anime heh

* ੈ✩‧₊˚ header art link: https://pin.it/4mKbzO9tW