bushelofmuses

[bushelofmuses]

"Well, the company is far better here than elsewhere in Skyhold. Can you really blame me?" She watched him walk across the room with a soft smile, feeling a wave of fondness wash over her.

Myrna didn't fight him when he took her hand in his after rejoining her. Part of her wanted to tease—to perhaps make him work for it—but given everything he'd done to the room in preparation, she couldn't bring herself to deny him. It would be cruel.

"I wouldn't dare say no," she murmured, gently squeezing his hand. The kiss was gentle and sweet, a small act that left her stomach fluttering wildly. Myrna took a step forward, following him so Solas wouldn't be too far from her. "How long have you been planning this?"

His little game of pretend turned her tiny smile into a playful grin. This sly little...

She tried to suppress the laugh, but a small squeak of a sound still managed to escape her. It was a noise of amusement and nerves; she couldn't tell which would win out.

"My focus is usually here, but as you wish." It was difficult to not dream of this place with its secrets and the company it came with.

Myrna slowly handed the bundle of letters to him, feeling suddenly shy. His flirting wasn't unwelcome, but given he was usually professional in the company of others, it was still a shock. A pleasant one, but a shock nonetheless. She briefly wondered if she would ever become accustomed to it.

Part of her hoped she didn't.

[bushelofmuses]

His little game of pretend turned her tiny smile into a playful grin. This sly little...

She tried to suppress the laugh, but a small squeak of a sound still managed to escape her. It was a noise of amusement and nerves; she couldn't tell which would win out.

"My focus is usually here, but as you wish." It was difficult to not dream of this place with its secrets and the company it came with.

Myrna slowly handed the bundle of letters to him, feeling suddenly shy. His flirting wasn't unwelcome, but given he was usually professional in the company of others, it was still a shock. A pleasant one, but a shock nonetheless. She briefly wondered if she would ever become accustomed to it.

Part of her hoped she didn't.

"Maybe I can review those reports while we're down here. I can multitask if it means I don't upset her for shirking my responsibilities." Again. She'd been terrible about it lately, what with all of the traveling and her time in the tower with her daggers and and and...Myrna needed to suck it up and just get them over with.

It was warmer in here than in the hall and stairway, something she was grateful for. The castle was cool in most places, despite the hearths scattered throughout. She half wished there were more rooms so they'd have more of them.

Myrna took note of the set up on the floor and she raised a brow. Was he...? Her face reddened a little and she tried not to think about it. The bastard was on it today, it seemed.

Well, it was working on her. She wouldn't say no.

"...or maybe the reports can wait a little while longer since you apparently had other plans..."

[bushelofmuses]

"Maybe I can review those reports while we're down here. I can multitask if it means I don't upset her for shirking my responsibilities." Again. She'd been terrible about it lately, what with all of the traveling and her time in the tower with her daggers and and and...Myrna needed to suck it up and just get them over with.

It was warmer in here than in the hall and stairway, something she was grateful for. The castle was cool in most places, despite the hearths scattered throughout. She half wished there were more rooms so they'd have more of them.

Myrna took note of the set up on the floor and she raised a brow. Was he...? Her face reddened a little and she tried not to think about it. The bastard was on it today, it seemed.

Well, it was working on her. She wouldn't say no.

"...or maybe the reports can wait a little while longer since you apparently had other plans..."

"You actually rescued me. I was about to head for my quarters to work on paperwork that I've been putting off." She gently patted his shoulder, smile teasing but grateful. "My hero."

Anything would be better than replying to letters or reviewing reports at the moment. She was actually itching to get back to the mages' tower to work on her daggers, but some times, there were more important things to worry about. Reports on Templar movements was just one of them...and red lyrium supply lines. She couldn't put it off forever; they really needed to be done by the end of the day. Myrna had them on her at least, so maybe she could work on them down here after they finished whatever conversation he had planned.

Gods, it never ended.

"Perhaps next time just preface it with: I'm not here to tell you it's too late, and that the world has already ended, or that someone has died. That should help." Making lighter of it would be less likely to lead to a myriad of worst case scenarios running through her mind.

Myrna's steps were lighter as they descended the stairs, delighted they were going to their shared happy place. Down here, she could forget that the world was a mess, her hand was killing her slowly, or whatever other terrible thing could fill in the blank.

[bushelofmuses]

[bushelofmuses]

You’re so kind to others; why are you so cruel to yourself?

[bushelofmuses]

im looking for a volunteer to suffer the consequences of my actions

[bushelofmuses]

sad quotes : from a mix of sources … sentence starters

“I was happy… once.”

“Do you think I could be saved?”

“There’s no reasoning with grief.”

“I am so tired of being so scared.”

“If this is reality, I’m not interested.”

“I put all my trust in an empty dream.”

“But what is grief if not love persevering?”

“I was too young to know how to love her.“

“I’m too young for eyes this sad, this tired.”

“You’re all duct tape and safety pins inside.”

“If you’re happy in a dream, does that count?”

“I can survive on my own. I have for this long.”

“I don’t want to give up hope… it’s all I have left.”

“I didn’t make the choice to give this up. You did.”

“How long have you carried this, all on your own?”

“I loved her… and, sometimes, she loved me, too.”

“Tears come from the heart and not from the brain.“

“Maybe some people are just made to be shattered.”

“There is no way to train your heart to be invulnerable.“

“You said you’d always be there for me, but you’re not.“

“I don’t trust anyone else. I can barely even trust myself.”

“Sometimes it’s better to be alone. Nobody can hurt you.“

“You don’t love me. You don’t. Love doesn’t hurt like this.”

“All that could be said has… and it hasn’t solved anything.”

“No one heard me screaming, then. How could they, now?”

“They’ve dulled your light. Even your smile is dimmer, now.”

“You were supposed to be my escape… not another prison.”

“How long am I supposed to wander before I can find home?”

“I hid my deepest feelings so well I forgot where I placed them.“

“Grief is not as heavy as guilt, but it takes more away from you.“

“I have to keep moving. Eventually, someday, I’ll be safe, again.”

“How can you move forward when you keep regretting the past?“

“Things change. And friends leave. Life doesn’t stop for anybody.“

“I should have been there. I should have done something, anything.”

“No matter how gifted you are… You, alone, cannot change the world.“

“Nothing… there is nothing I can do that will make my heart less heavy.”

“Loneliness is peaceful, but there’ll be no one to share happiness with.“

“Please don’t go away… No one’s ever stuck with me for so long before.“

“You know, a heart can be broken, but it keeps on beating, just the same.”

“I just want you to be happy. Even if that happiness no longer includes me.”

“People keep telling me that life goes on, but to me, that’s the saddest part.”

“I thought I could just apologize tomorrow. But that tomorrow… never came.“

“How has the weight of this not crushed you? How are you still able to smile?”

“The one you love and the one who loves you are never, ever the same person.”

“The scariest and the most painful thing is to be hated by someone you truly love.“

“Happiness is a fleeting notion. It fills you with false hope. Grief keeps you grounded.”

“Breathing is hard. When you cry so much, it makes you realize that breathing is hard.“

“Nothing has ever hurt more than realizing, in your darkest moment, you’re truly alone.”

“You cannot protect yourself from sadness without protecting yourself from happiness.“

“Sometimes I can hear my bones straining under the weight of all the lives I’m not living.”

“I know what it’s like to want to die. How it hurts to smile. How you try to fit in, but you can’t.”

“But, if you want to leave, you can. I’ll remember you, though. I remember everyone that leaves.”

“You can love someone so much… But you can never love people as much as you can miss them.“

“Why should I apologize for being a monster? Has anyone ever apologized for turning me into one?“

“I have to believe that there are still good people in the world. I have to believe that kindness persists.”

“You have been, in every way, all that anyone could be… If anybody could have saved me, it would have been you.”

“So, this is my life. And I want you to know that I am both happy and sad, and I’m still trying to figure out how that could be.”

“Every human walks around with a certain kind of sadness. They may not wear it on their sleeves, but it’s there if you look deep.”

“But grief makes a monster out of us sometimes… and sometimes you say and do things to the people you love that you can’t forgive yourself for.“

“People think being alone makes you lonely, but I don’t think that’s true. Being surrounded by the wrong people is the loneliest thing in the world.”

“The loneliest people are the kindest. The saddest people smile the brightest. The most damaged people are the wisest. All because they don’t wish to see anyone else suffer the way they did.“

[bushelofmuses]

sorry for blorbo tagging your post on the blorbo posting and tagging website. it will happen again

[bushelofmuses]

we used to have normalized whump. remember what they took from you....

[bushelofmuses]

"Their loss." She was glad he was still around, Cole was as well. That's two people that were pleased he was still alive and in one piece. For however long it lasted.

His situation could be worse. It could have been Leliana or Vivienne. They would have made his death look like an accident.

The groan was new, however; the show of embarrassment far more open than she would have expected. It was amusing and she couldn't stifle the snort that escaped her at the noise. Oh, he was so fucked.

"I don't know if I can save you this time. Keeping Cassandra off your back is one thing, keeping Sera in check...that's sadly an impossible feat." She didn't think anyone could successfully pull that off. Sera was predictably unpredictable and a menace when she wanted to be. Myrna knew she could be kind, that she did care about people, but also... "Would you rather your body be burned or buried if there's anything left of you?"

"You're never a burden or bother, and always a delight," she assured him.

She didn't mind. Besides, better that she be the one to find him than one of the others. Varric, Dorian, or Sera would have never let him live it down.

Myrna might not either, but she was certain she could get away with teasing him just a little.

"It was actually pretty entertaining." Myrna held up a hand, however, quick to add, "I won't tell the others...much."

She knew where the line was. At most she'd admit to him being a little unsteady, but nothing more. It was his business. "I'm glad Sera hasn't killed you yet."

[bushelofmuses]

"You actually rescued me. I was about to head for my quarters to work on paperwork that I've been putting off." She gently patted his shoulder, smile teasing but grateful. "My hero."

Anything would be better than replying to letters or reviewing reports at the moment. She was actually itching to get back to the mages' tower to work on her daggers, but some times, there were more important things to worry about. Reports on Templar movements was just one of them...and red lyrium supply lines. She couldn't put it off forever; they really needed to be done by the end of the day. Myrna had them on her at least, so maybe she could work on them down here after they finished whatever conversation he had planned.

Gods, it never ended.

"Perhaps next time just preface it with: I'm not here to tell you it's too late, and that the world has already ended, or that someone has died. That should help." Making lighter of it would be less likely to lead to a myriad of worst case scenarios running through her mind.

Myrna's steps were lighter as they descended the stairs, delighted they were going to their shared happy place. Down here, she could forget that the world was a mess, her hand was killing her slowly, or whatever other terrible thing could fill in the blank.

For Myrna- “Have you time, Inquisitor,” he pauses, incase he can be heard by others, “that I may take to discuss something rather important?” Away from others, he does not say but finds his shoulders stiff and he keeps his hands behind his back. “..if now is not the time, it is not..urgent.” He offers. @fxdewxlkxr

Not a great way to start a conversation. It unnerved her and she wondered if something terrible had happened to prompt this. What was it that was important enough that he didn't want other ears catching snippets of it?

"I...okay, yes. I can spare the time." She grabbed her things and followed after him. "Starting the conversation with something cryptic like that has a way of unnerving the bravest of souls, you know."

[bushelofmuses]

For Myrna- “Have you time, Inquisitor,” he pauses, incase he can be heard by others, “that I may take to discuss something rather important?” Away from others, he does not say but finds his shoulders stiff and he keeps his hands behind his back. “..if now is not the time, it is not..urgent.” He offers. @fxdewxlkxr

Not a great way to start a conversation. It unnerved her and she wondered if something terrible had happened to prompt this. What was it that was important enough that he didn't want other ears catching snippets of it?

"I...okay, yes. I can spare the time." She grabbed her things and followed after him. "Starting the conversation with something cryptic like that has a way of unnerving the bravest of souls, you know."

[bushelofmuses]

"You're never a burden or bother, and always a delight," she assured him.

She didn't mind. Besides, better that she be the one to find him than one of the others. Varric, Dorian, or Sera would have never let him live it down.

Myrna might not either, but she was certain she could get away with teasing him just a little.

"It was actually pretty entertaining." Myrna held up a hand, however, quick to add, "I won't tell the others...much."

She knew where the line was. At most she'd admit to him being a little unsteady, but nothing more. It was his business. "I'm glad Sera hasn't killed you yet."

His eyes widen a fraction, color softly dusting the rise of his cheekbones and for a second, he prays no one saw. She'd looked though, even if it startles him that she kissed him.

"May I ask..."

He hesitates, shifts a little, unsure if he should. Had it been blissful, eager thinking?

"Last night," He wets his lips, unsure why he wants confirmation when the thought of kindness seems to settle over him with such startling want. "I was not too much of a burden, was I? I had...not thought to be found or to bother another. It was a lapse in judgement that will not happen again."

The fingers curl down on his palm, as if eager to touch that spot and unable to. Fitting, since he can not draw the courage to ask.

[bushelofmuses]

Cole smiled cheerfully and tapped his foot against the rung of his chair. Dorian was pleased with the compliment? Good. Mission accomplished...Cole would think of others, he was sure. But he needed to space them out; he shouldn't drown Dorian in a barrage of compliments. They may lose their meaning and worth if he just threw them out there like that...

"I don't compliment to get something in return?" Why would he? It was meant to make another happy more than himself. That's why he did it, for them. "Well, maybe it feels nice to do it but...I don't want anything."

Just the company of his friend was enough.

Cole took his glass and listened to it a moment before taking a sip. He mumbled, "This one tastes like music," and downed another sip. Cole thought he liked this one almost as much as he liked mead.

Following the offered direction, he reaches down and pulls out one of his smaller knives.

He waits, patient, curious. Feeling like a young man too eager for approval or praise. Something about Cole drew him in. Solas had assumed, rightly at first, that it had been clinical curiosity of a man meeting something new and exciting. Cole was still exciting but he was treasured, assurance that rules need not be linear.

“Oh.” Dorian stops mid bid for the drinks, half aware of the mulsum being poured. Honeyed wine straight from his homeland. There are those that feed into his desire for praise, leaving it shallow and easily charmed and then there was that little remark. He ducks his head for a moment, awed how Cole pulls the reaction from him. His cheeks a little warmer. “Well then, you would be the first to say so. Truly, you’ve already managed to make today an important date in my books.”

Taking a breath, he gathers the little fluttering sensation of being seen and offers Cole the one glass. “On my tab.” He remarks with a grin. He’ll pay later. “What would you have of me, then, hm? This can surely not be a one way road to boost my self esteem. Though it hardly needs it.” Dorian adds softly, gingerly avoiding how much of a lie that it is.

“I’m surprised to know he even knows how to play a game. Now Wicked Grace is quite a bit more fun with more than the two of us.” He settles against the bar, watching the small groupings of people around the bar. “Do you have your daggers Cole? I’ve a new game you’ll enjoy.” Sipping his wine, he hums at the pleasant notes.

[bushelofmuses]

it’ll be fine I just have to be a shaking terrified animal about it

[bushelofmuses]

His lips twitched towards a sheepish smile and he mumbled an apology for the silence. Cole would be more mindful of it in the future; if Dorian needed more compliments, Cole could happily accommodate.

Cole went quiet for a moment, trying to think of where to even start with the compliments. Perhaps only on things Dorian had control over? His sense of fashion, or his coiffed hair. Maybe his humor?

But what of things he didn't have control over?

"You have a warm laugh...rich and sweet like honey." There. That wasn't about his looks, but it was still honest.

"Not whiny, no." That would be mulled wine; it didn't like the spices and complained about them. Mulled wine had more to say than regular wine.

He carefully took a seat, pulling one foot up onto the stool to hug his knee to his chest. There wasn't much room on the stool for him to get comfortable, but he could make do.

"Slaps...Solas taught me. Um...and I've watched you play Wicked Grace." He didn't know how to play it, but he liked watching everyone have a good time. It was more amusing when everyone was three drinks in.

Pinch it?

Oh, steal it.

He almost did. It wouldn't be the first time he had stolen something, but the bookseller had a birthday coming up; Cole didn't want any lost product to ruin it. Although, maybe he wouldn't be missing this particular book much. It was a silly, little thing. But. It was Cole's.

"I have..." Dorian was very good looking, and charming. Cole had felt the first small pangs of jealousy because of him; it was a new feeling, one that worried him until he rationalized that he didn't hate Dorian for it or anything. It wasn't wrong to envy something like that so long as he didn't let it rule him.

"Mead is loud, cheerful. What do you want instead?" He let Dorian lead him off, deciding that this would be a better experience than nerves told him it would be. Dorian knew what would be fun or not, what was worth someone's time. Cole could learn from it.

[bushelofmuses]

click {HERE} for #220 gifs of ALINA KOVALENKO in Бумажный самолетик (Bumazhnyj Samoletik). please don’t crop them into gif icons. shoutout international mvp gif pack legend @osvaldrps​ for helping me get my hands on this footage!!!! bless

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