#clean as can bee
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But like the problem is that i enjoy being alone so much that i keep thinking. Am i willing to sacrifice my comfort freedom and peace (to do what i want when i want) to feel comfy at night (have a flatmate).
#the solution i have in mind is - once again - marriage but that's like years away#But tee bee eitch i've been dealing with nighttime anxiety since i was 5 i'm p sure i can go on a couple more years#and like. it's a p meh trade deal isn't it#having to have a strict schedule for cleaning and use of communal spaces#probably meals too.#and no bringing around guests whenever i want and for however long i want#for like peaceful nights. idk#hoping my bestie comes thru with her plans for transferring for grad school tho i think it'd only be doable with her
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good god girl, maybe some of us are not vegan because we eat chicken like once in three months?? Would reduction not be a more productive goal of vegan activism than outright banning? Like if your arguments are that animals are being eaten, then you’re being unrealistic about the entire actual concept of the food chain. Humans are omnivores, you do not need to change that to achieve your goals.
A vegan lifestyle is also entirely the product of your geographical location. If you live somewhere that shit does not grow, what are you going to do?? I just think about the difference between food options in India and Canada, for example. India: between the tropics (tropics and equator even, in fact). All-year-round sun, there’s pretty much always stuff growing. Different kinds of land will mean you can grow everything from staples like rice and wheat to vegetables, fruits and plantation crops. It’s reflected in the cuisines: Indian food has a much, much wider offering of vegetarian food, and many more Indians have restricted diets that more or less overlap with vegetarianism. Because crops grows. Locally.
Canada. Harvest in the fall, from November to March, your fields are practically unusable. Compare the prices of fresh produce in (and now I’m being generous to give you a highly populated, non-remote province here for an example) Ontario. Ontario has farms where in the fall you get fresh autumn vegetables and fruits. You’ll also get them in larger quantities. It is way cheaper, fresher and also uses less energy and fuel to transport the vegetables like 50 km from farm to market.
Come the winter and nothing grows. If you look at most vegetables you’ll find on store shelves in December or February, and most of it is either imported from warmer regions of the US (often the case for chains that are in both countries) or from South American countries (sometimes SA -> USA -> Canada). The importing has to go through cross-country customs, had to be driven for days, is less fresh or rich in nutrients by the time you get it, and is more expensive. Of course. And we all come out of it poorer. Is it any wonder why people will eat meat? We’re even talking here about a place like Ontario, very well connected on North American trade routes. Can you justify someone in Yukon deciding to eat meat over a $17/lb. green veg? Be for fucking real…
There simply cannot be a blanket-global solution to animal products. You’ve got to work with what your geography has to offer. It’s the same thing we say when we say that avocados have an environmental cost when you expect them to be available year-round in places they don’t grow. We encourage people to go for more local produce there, and I think the same should go for all parts of your diet too. If your animals are local, then their footprint is lower than importing kiwis from New Zealand to the US. I don’t see how that’s hard to understand.
#veganism#the first para is a rant bc someone was being an idiot but I mean the rest of it most sincerely:#YOU HAVE TO WORK WITH YOUR GEOGRAPHY#capitalism has you thinking the whole world Is this flat homogenous thing#and all things can be solved by ‘buying (new solution)!’ *Buy!* our new Vegan Leather and feel good about yourself!#(<- plastic that will end up in a dump as Indonesia’s problem; not the pontificating American vegan’s)#*~Buy!!~* our new honey substitute! 100% cruelty free by avoiding the bees; even as the bees literally continue to make honey anyway#(<- monocrop agave fields in Mexico can deal with your misplaced guilt for you 🥰💕)#Like. At least have the courage of your convictions and quit sweetener entirely if you’re#concerned about both cruelty (which honey harvesting is not but okay) and sustainability. Or switch back to sugarcane.#Unless of course sustainability is simply someone else’s problem 😊 (hi third world!!)#My problems with veganism the movement are also my problems with the west; you all are really fucking hypocrites.#We have to go cleaning up after you guys all the time. You HAVE to work WITH your geography; not against it#Plants are not some miraculous catch-all solution. And mate; you’ve got to kill a plant to eat it too#Plants are alive; trust me. If you don’t eat anything for fear of killing it you’ll either be living on roadkill and infect and die#or you’ll end up killing yourself out of not! eating!#; you can’t eat rocks. All food was once alive.
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🐝 & 🐶🐱 snacktime!
#bee and puppycat#bee and puppcat lazy in space#bee and puppycat fanart#my art thingies#fanart#traditional art#drawing#doodle#showed the sketch to the boy and he encouraged me to post this so i cleaned it up a bit#Bee and Puppycat are truly the only things i can draw rn#inkydoc doodles
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whatever shall i do with the rest of my day today
#No car no money no school mfs when they dont have work#actualy i have money but i hate spending it#I have been productive so far i cleaned a lot in my room#and got this old futon that i dont use out and put it on the porch#but then my mom got mad bc its on the porch#and shes also mad bc wecant find the duct tape to put it in this big plastic bag so the trash guy will take it#and its my fault we cant find the duct tape bc i used it last and have No fucking idea where i put it#But its okay#My room looks nicer#i want to remove this metal frame on the bottom bunk of my bunk bed#that was where the futon was#so i can put my desk there.. my room would be sm less cramped#but i need an allen wrench to unscrew the thingy#and i have ONE i found under th ebed when iwas cleaning but its slightly too big#OH i need to do my duolingo#i want to draw really bad too ive been itching to draw for like. weeks#but i cant get myself to do it im like scared#i kind of wanna play oblivion too#Or bee swarm simulator. The world is my oyster my schedule is free.
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Picked up five spent mums frim the dumpsters on the walk back from the library yesterday.
They're getting a drink of water in the pic. I got them trimmed up to remove the spent blooms this morning and planted them in my raised beds to overwinter (I'll dump some straw on them when it gets cold).
From past experience, about half of them will survive the winter and once they've greened up, I can dig them up and move them into a more permanent bed. Like this one from last year:
Which is leggy as hell because I forgot to prune it back to shape it at the beginning of summer. I can usually get a few years out of a mum. And doing it this way is absolutely free! You just don't get to pick the color. Which, I mean, that's probably close to $100 of mums I brought back so.
I do want to get my hands on some of those purple asters though, and I think I'm going to have to actually buy them. In the meantime I'm encouraging the wild white asters to take hold in the side yard--the bees cover them this time of year. I got two little sprigs going now, but I'm stalking this alley plant to gather more seeds when it's spent:
There were at least 20 bees on it and that was a low number from usual.
#free plants#budget gardening#fall flowers#chrysanthemums#mums#asters#seed saving#bee food#i also picked up a bunch of other gardening related stuff that people put by the dumpsters after cleaning out sheds/garages dt nice weather#including a composter and t posts and potting soil and nice pots and wire plant stand and miracle gro fertilizer#and a perfectly good unused wooden screen door that should fit my back door (the screen pulled out from under the spline in one place#but that's a super easy fix#i just need to sand and then stain or paint before it gets too cold and then i can install at my leisure since it won't be needed til spring#i'll do that hoosier cabinet i picked up a few months ago at the same time (though it needs some actual repairs too)#next week's projects
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As time goes by I'm becoming more and more sure that I just can't survive on my own. I can take basic care of myself, but the second I have to go to a doctor or do some formal stuff I get paralyzed. I just can't. Fuck, I can barely even talk to strangers in general. Or even not strangers, I can't fucking text someone back if I'm not close to them, it's just so scary and exhausting. I'm becoming emotionally tired more easily and sometimes even talking with my mom about anything is too much for me and I love my mom. And I really need her, I can't do basic stuff without her pretty much holding my hand all the time. I can't get a normal job. We went to this blueberry plantation a few times but I just couldn't go there without her, and now the job is over and we can't go there at all. If I wasn't such a fucking baby I'd go there a few more times alone and get some money. I can't make calls, there's literally like two people I feel comfortable talking on the phone with. People used to say I was mature for my age when I was younger but I never grew up and now I'm almost 21 and can't do anything with my life. I'm scared of everything, I'm constantly exhausted physically and mentally. I'm like a fucking child. I'm scared that I'm gonna have to live with my mom my whole life. I can't see a future for myself, I'm just not able to survive without help and at some point I won't be able to get help, I don't want to be a parasite living off of my mom's money but I don't see anything else I could do. I hate my brain so much. I hate the way it refuses to work. I hate myself for being such a child.
#you know theres this weird idk. impostor syndrome about me and my autism#like on one hand i know that autism is a disability. but on the other i cant think of myself as disabled#cause im not 'autistic enough'. because i can keep myself fed and clean and healthy and alive as long as im provided with everything i need#but then i have a full on breakdown because my new laptop doesnt work and i have to go to the store to have it checked/replaced#i wanna throw up just thinking about it#i cant do anything without my moms help#i wanna throw up and cry and die when theres too much happening around me. i cant survive in the real world. i just can't#i cant get a job or a partner or go to college or move out or even just fucking. go to a store and ask for help with my laptop.#i feel like im destined to live w my mom forever and not achieve anything and die alone#i keep talking about wanting to make a living with my art but thats bullshit. i do want that but i know it's not possible for me#i cant even fucking finish the commissions i already have. im scared to get new ones. im scared to do anything.#my brain refuses to let me work on anything#and yeah i am burnt out after my diploma and exams and all that but at some point i just have to admit im not built for that. for anything.#im built to live like a parasite baby and die#my mom is too good of a person to kick me out but i wouldnt blame her. im useless. i cant make money. i cant take care of myself#i dont know what to do#bee buzz
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Is public transit just the worst now a days? Yesterday I had to wait 90 minutes because busses kept getting cancelled.. Everything seems to be on a 30 minute schedule too? I live just above Amsterdam and I just feel so forgotten with the transit.
tbh i cant speak on the matter a lot cuz i live in a city with insanely good bus connectivity but in my experience i think the reason dutch people complain about public transit so much is cuz we're honestly pretty damn spoiled on the matter?
Theres barely any places in the country where you'd have to wait more than an hour for a bus/train even in the middle of nowhere. We have SO much more bus connectivity compared to other countries that even though a small percentage of routes have issues per day, the number of failures is bigger than other countries around us so it feels worse.
Even in the tiny 500 people MAX village my grandparents used to live in there was a bus route going every 30 minutes, that's a far cry from the time i went to rural france and the only grocery store was a 20 minute car drive away with no bus to even speak of. Our public transit is honestly amazing compared to everywhere else but we're just spoiled brats who love to complain <3 (i'm not excluded from this btw, godverdomme kut NS)
#asks#the bee speaks#i get the need to complain. lord do i get it. but i promise u take a bus in another country and ull come back with a fresh outlook#our transit is on average pretty clean. we have some of the best roads on earth and u can go near ANYWHERE in the country#trust me when i say even in the rich western european countries that is a LUXURY my friend
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idk why my parents told me that being an adult was awful and i was so unprepared for it and not ready and what will i do without them and oouhuhuoh fearmongering
dog i was so excited to go to o'reilly's and buy some oil for my car and replace my rear windshield wiper. i get excited going to a drs appt. im proud that i can pay rent. like yes i know that i am among the few who have this privilege but my parents were too so i dont get why they tried striking the fear of god in me about becoming a functional adult with responsibilities. getting older rules
#i eat bees.#getting a car is great#getting married is great#fucking cleaning my living space and shit is great#im having a real good time frankly#reminds me that like. yeah i got shit to do.#but i can Do It#you know?
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sometimes, if the day is truly sunny and warm and springlike for the first time in far too long, and you crack your window to feel the breeze laden with the promise of hope and adventure, and you gather all your might and power and strength of will, you can do incredible unbelievable wonderous things. like Take A Shower and Eat A Sandwich
#can u tell what i spent all day working up to doing. lmao#but!! i did it!!!#suceeded in my quest. to Get Clean and Make A PB&J#and now maybe#JUST MAYBE#i will have the power#to do my damn laundry#JURY'S STILL OUT !!!!!#but now it seems even the inconceivable are becoming possible...#godspeed and good luck to you comrades#in whatever your endeavors for the day may be. i believe in you#go forth !!!#<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3#bee speaks
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Leftovers 🥪
#eggs can art#danganronpa#bee and puppycat#sdr2#ndrv3#kaede akamatsu#izuru kamukura#nagito komaeda#chiaki nanami#maki harukawa#MORE BEE AND PUPPYCAT AU BITCH#Including my excuse to draw kamukura but as a cat bunny thing#technically him n komaeda are freeloaders#Nanami is renting and paying for their apartment (with money from temp jobs w/ kamukura)#komaeda only joins the jobs sometimes but he also keeps the place clean and does the laundry so he can stay
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damn it I just found some birds missing on a bird classification wikipedia page 🤨 gonna have to become a wikipedia contributor to correct that one of these days... not tonight tho im tired
#ill just bookmark this and one day ill find the bookmark and be like 'hey I should do this so I can clean up my bookmarks'#birds#bee tries to talk
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been writing so many words atp that it doesn't even feel like i'm writing anymore :(
#bee blabs#i'm trying SO HARD to get to where i need to be#the words are all blurry garble and i'm just running w it#i'm so tired and i'm doing all this anyway#maybe i'll just end up leaving this last bit looking like shite just to have it Done#then i can clean up when i have infinite time to do so#then again i'll be shattered if i present sumn that doesn't have my whole heart in it#idk man i'm trying ;-;#maybe it'll all fall into place better during the day#and not verging on 1am in delulu writing garbage mode#we at 10.8k words now okay i am exhausted#and we've only just saved and left cream to her own devices#and eventually i'm gonna write the entire hero AND neutral mission for cryptic castle in this fic#i'm dead. i'm sorry guys. i am deceased and i will never be returning (dramatic)
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love working a 10 hour shift and then immediately having to go and clean for another two hours cus my dad just. does not clean his home!
#there are two people living here and neither of you can fucking wash a dish or clean the goddamn toilet 😑#it's just frustrating :/#and tomorrow when me and my dad go out he's going to bee like ah you probably stayed up too late again huh#in a teasing way. and it's like man! of you would clean! i could go to bed early when i stay here!#like i can't shower or anything cus i have to clean the bathroom first and argh#i am so tired </3
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you know what I can’t stop thinking about?how the world lets some labels matter and others get ignored. holocaust survivors, everyone knows that brand right? iconic emotional powerful makes you stop and go damn but here’s the kicker palestinians? we’re survivors too. nakba survivors. oh you thought the nakba was just some event from 1948? no no no hayati, it’s still happening right now every single day so this is the term people need to start using when talking about palestinians: NAKBA SURVIVORS. not refugees, not some sad footnote in history and can we please stop even calling what happening in Gaza “ethnic cleansing”? like what are we doing here, rebranding atrocities to sound like a spring cleaning checklist? no it’s ethnic extermination. say it with me ex-ter-mi-na-tion. and yet somehow palestinians keep surviving. my family in gaza? 26 are still there, after losing too many. they wake up every day to a world that wants them gone and somehow they’re still trying to survive. but survival isn’t magic. it doesn’t just happen because they’re tough or brave or insert your inspirational buzzword of choice here. it happens because people like you give a damn and yes this is me asking you to really keep giving a damn. have you donated yet? incredible, thank you, love you forever. haven’t donated? this is your sign. thinking “but i already donated”? Please do it again. survival isn’t a one-time event. click the link and be part of the reason they’re still alive tomorrow.
if you can’t donate via GoFundMe or PayPal you can use Ko-fi instead. Please note that 110 sek is approximately 10 usd and 220 sek is around 20 usd.
Donate on GoFundMe: Link
Donate on Paypal: Link
Donate on Ko-fi
Vetted and shared by @90-ghost: Link.
Verified and shared by @el-shab-hussein: Link
Listed as number 282 in "The Vetted Gaza Evacuation Fundraiser Spreadsheet" compiled by @el-shab-hussein and @nabulsi : Link
Listed on the Butterfly Effect Project, number 957: Link
Additionally, Al Jazeera News has documented apart of my family's case: Link
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