#choice and not just. because thats supposed to be ''normal'' for me

[chiisana-lion]

years ago got this super cute lilac long skirt that ive never worn since getting it but would really like to if only it werent for the fact id hate to be perceived anything remotely close to femininely. and Especially by my extended family who i just know for a fact are waiting for me to grow out of my "phase" and be able to say "see that? you're acting like a normal girl now"

[mayearies]

where miles likes being spoiled by your kisses cw: theres like one sex joke

miles and you had just gotten back from his basketball game. wasnt his best but can you blame him? he was distracted. his girlfriend was on the bleachers watching his every move and cheering for him.

once you got to his room, he threw you some clothes as he changed out of his jersey. “woah! what’s the rush?” he wiped his face with a towel.his braids looked messy too. “nothin’. just wanna hurry up and cuddle with you.”

the last part went in one ear and out the other. you were just amazed at his upper body. it wasn’t incredibly muscular or anything, despite how strong he was. you kinda wanted to touch it. “you starin’ real hard, ma. you good?”

you didn’t respond, instead you just shifted your eyes back and forth between his face and his chest as he put on his shirt. he let out a playful laugh at your silence. “view’s that good, huh? can’t keep your eyes off me?”

“i mean, i dont really have a choice now do i?” you laughed. you swear, this boy had you giggling and kicking your feet so hard when he wasn’t here. “miss me from up there?” he kissed your cheek.

“a lil.” miles stopped kissing your face and held a pouty expression. "a little?" he questions, feeling a sense disappointment. "what am i supposed to do with just a little?"

holding a serious gaze, miles continues to kiss you. "i expected to be missed like crazy by you, amor."

holding a playful smile, you gave into his sweet kisses all around your face. “okay, maybe i missed you more than that. but you weren’t that far from me.”

miles relaxes, grinning as he kissed you more. "see, baby?" he mumbles, rubbing your cheek softly. "i told you i’m too irresistible. you know i’m right.”

most of the time, he was right. he knew you, better than you knew yourself in some ways. you both loved it. he held your hand tightly, not wanting you to leave despite how late it was. “can you show me how much you missed me?”

“how so?”

he pulled away and sucked on his teeth. eyeing the sheets then looking back at you. “hm. i don’t know, maybe some quality time together?”

and thats how you got here— stradding his lap while he leaned his head against the headboard, playing with your hair and scrolling through his phone.

the times where you two were apart were the ones he dreaded the most. he knew you didn’t like it either. but it is what it is. shit happens, but at least he could sleep knowing he would see you again.

he sighed, flipping his phone over on the blanket. he was silent for a little while before biting your shoulder softly to get your attention. “what?” he just looked at you with his normal resting face. “how much did you miss me, ma? gimme a number.”

you raised an eyebrow, feeling less tense. “like, out of ten?” miles rested his chin on your chest, looking up at you.

"yeah, out of ten," he said. milles smiled and starts to caress your back, waiting to hear your response to his question.

“hmm,” you bit your lips as you thought. miles’ fingers rubbed circles on your hips, too. “a solid 9.”

his eyes widened. "really," he asks, surprised. "you mean that?" giving you a playful tap on your nose, "because that last point is earned when I get a kiss." he likes making it obvious how much he wants you to kiss him. resting his head back on the headboard, tilting his head down toward you. “c’mon, kiss me, ma.”

you gave him a soft kiss in the cheek, making him let out a sigh and laugh simultaneously while also looking you up and down. he pouted, “that’s not what i meant, you know that. no seas cruel, mamita.”

“you’re so picky.” you saw him eyeing your lips as he said that, so you gave him exactly what he wanted. “better?”

miles gives a light squeeze to your hip. he looks down into your eyes with a sly smirk, nodding. "that's exactly what I wanted, baby," he spoke teasingly. "but I wonder if you know how to show me just a bit more love?"

placing his fingertips beneath your chin, miles slowly turns your face back toward his. looking back with a playful expression, he asked for another one. and another. aaand another. to which you would give.

you let out a light groan, while rolling your eyes playfully. “you’re picky and greedy. what a combo, miles. what a combo.”

miles smirks and rubs his thumb across your lips, making it apparent what he wants. “i mean, you wouldn't want me to be unhappy, would you? I need you to do your job and keep me satisfied."

as he speaks, miles continues to hold you with both of his hands on either side of your face. with a cheeky smile, he asks, "so are you going to be a good girlfriend or not?"

you rolled your eyes for real this time. his teasing could get annoying from time to time, but it would blow over soon. giving him another kiss, which was more long lasting to keep him quiet for a while. “see, that wasn’t so hard, was it?”

“you’re being greedy.”

“greedy? greedy for your love, yeah. that’s justified. hop off my dick if you dont like it, ma.”

“i cant in case you havent noticed!”

this could have been a fic but i was lazy abt the graphics yeahhh also this is mainly for @all444miles cause iykyk (she would be going insane)

[honeytonedhottie]

how 2 stop a manifestation spiral⋆.ೃ࿔*:･🗒️

feeling doubtful or stressed when manifesting is normal because they are human emotions and we are human. its normal to get triggered by things in the 3D.

with practice, things in the 3D won't trigger you to the point where u start to spiral because you will be a seasoned manifestor. lets talk about it...💬🎀

AFFIRMING ;

when u feel urself starting to get triggered or u fear that u might begin to spiral. start affirming. if u find that you can't focus enough to affirm then i recommend affirming out loud.

affirming out loud is helpful because if ur saying it with your words u can't think something different. so affirm out loud and ease into affirming in ur head to remind urself of what yk to be true. affirming kills wavering! affirming kills doubt! so keep on affirming until the wavering, spiraling and doubt end.

REVERSE UR THOUGHT PROCESS ;

if ur starting to get intrusive thoughts (which everyone has and its totally normal) but if ur intrusive thoughts are super persistent and u feel like u can't control it, reverse ur thought process. for example...

lets say ur manifesting something and your thinking "this'll never happen because _" then ask why? and continue to ask why until u can't think of a reason. doing so debunks ur limiting beliefs and shuts up ur intrusive thoughts.

HOT TIP ; when the 3D is all up in my face, i just shut it down completely by affirming "idgaf what the 3D says, ik i have (insert desire)" and then i feel relieved because ik its true...💬🎀

TAKE A DEEP BREATH ;

take a deep breath and breathe. remember that manifestation isnt supposed to feel like a chore and its easy, natural, and so much fun. dont lose sight of that because thats how we become stressed and end up not enjoying manifestation.

FEEL YOUR EMOTIONS ;

cry, take a day off, whine but do NOT wallow. i keep a loa tough love rant in my notion for after im done feeling my feelings to put me back in check. but do not bottle up ur feelings when u manifest. feel it and then move on.

because at the end of the day wavering is such a waste of time because you know that this is ur reality, u know that the world is ur oyster and reality is ur playground. the law has no choice but to work.

[animemensblog]

Invisible

Gojo x gn!reader

Summary: what happens when Gojo meets someone who is immune to his six eyes?

No warnings :)

It was a hot day, sun beaming down and causing sweat to build along your hairline. Your headphones weren't helping with the soft muff cupping your ear and rubbing against your skin. Although it's tolerable in the shade, that means nothing when you decided today all your errands would be done by walking or train.

As you turn the corner you notice a small convenient store with a huge sign advertising 'buy one get one' on all cold items during the summer. The choices were clear; spend more money to cool off or finish walking home and die the second you enter your no ac apartment.

When you opened the store door you could feel the vibration of the bell and a faint ringing that seemed to last forever. Your feet were sore but weren't dragging, they almost felt like they were floating. You reach down in the fridge, grabbing water and a juice. The condensation quickly dripped off your hands and onto the ground, as the drop falls it splatters and hits your leg.

You stare at the water dropping towards your ankle, soaking a part of your sock. It quickly becomes uncomfortable, and what better way to ignore it other than changing your playlist?

You start shuffling to the counter, standing behind a tall white haired man waiting in line. As it moves forward, you can hear the cashier and the customer talking very loudly. As if their heads are against your chest and yelling into it, the vibrating and thumping echoed in your lungs and stomach.

As you click on a new song, an awkward laugh in front of you erupts, shortly after the stranger turned around and hit you. His arms had swung and threw you to the ground, along with your drinks and phone which managed to disappear. When you look up he's standing there, staring like he saw a ghost, his eyes were blown wide and his mouth partially agape.

At first, you thought he was just shocked. I mean, wouldn't you be if you hit someone to the ground? Then, you noticed your shorts slid down your thighs, revealing the rather brightly colored underwear peaking through. Your legs shut as you stand up, giving him a nasty glare and a meek "pervert".

Gojo on the other hand can't grasp how he didn't notice you, or even hear you behind him. His six eyes are supposed to help him, right? So how did he miss you approaching, standing there for minutes and managed to throw you to the ground? It didn't make sense.

"I'm not a pervert" Gojo says as he follows you around the store

"Your stalking says otherwise"

His pace picks up so he's less than a foot behind you, "ha! I bet you wish that's what I was doing!" He says, striking a small pose in hopes you'd notice. "Really, I just want to make sure you're ok-"

You turn around, almost chest to chest. Usually he'd be excited someone so pretty came so close but that look said maybe he shouldn't be happy. "Leave me alone" you spit before going back to searching, he watches as you turn into the isle to the right and follows.

"I can help you, ya know! I've been told my sight is the best" he boasts, turning into the isle he saw you go into.

"Really? Because you didn't see me at all before" you mumble behind him, once again he quickly turns around to find you kneeling.

"How are you doing that?" His tone had switched, it sounded like he was worried, concerned. Almost upset.

"Kneeling?" You question

"No! That's not what-" He shakes his head and sighs, they're just a normal person he thinks to himself. "Nevermind" he sighs again, then went back to looking for your drinks.

You think finally, he's gonna leave me alone. Thats until he's yelling for you from another isle, "ohhh strangerrrr!" He says dramatically, "I found your drinksss!" You can see him waving his lanky arms over the shelving.

"Most annoying man I've ever met, and I've known him less than an hour. This is some bullshit for an already bullshit day.." you continue mumbling as you almost stomp to the other side.

When you turn the corner, he's still waving his arms. He truly looked ridiculous with that big ass smile, jumping up and down like he's done the impossible. You sharply inhale before getting a running start- if he isn't going to acknowledge you when you're in the same isle, you'll just have to get it back on your own.

Despite how loud the impact of your feet was, to everyone else they were silent like paper landing completely flat on tile floor. You jump up as soon as he comes down and yank the bottles from his hands then landing before you hit the fridges. The only sound anyone else heard was you landing- the running, deep breaths and mumbling had gone unnoticed.

For a third time, the Gojo Satoru couldn't see or hear you. You. A normal person he just happened to run into while he was picking up snacks for himself, Geto and Shoko.

"You're quite annoying, you know that?" You ask as you make your way back down the isle towards the counter. Gojo doesn't realize when he started walking, gravity was just pulling him towards you. It was screaming that he needed to know who you are, how you operate, every detail a human can possibly know about themselves. More specifically, he wants to know if you're good or bad, if you're loyal or untrustworthy, if you're single or taken.

He marches up beside you with (and you hate to admit it) a charming and bright smile. He nudges your hands out of the way and pays the cashier, then turns to you and only gives you one of the bottles.

"You can have the other one later!" He says smuggly before snatching his receipt from the guys hand.

"You're a cute couple" the worker says.

"What? Ew no" you argue while leaving Gojo at the counter. He's embarrassed to say the least and only shrugs as he follows you, again.

He silently, and blindly, followed you halfway back to your apartment before you turned around to acknowledge him. "Are you actually a stalker or something?" He takes a step closer to hover over you, placing a tiny flick to your forehead.

"How are you going to hear my answer if you're wearing those headphones?" He softly asks

"I can hear perfectly fine, unlike you." Your eyes narrow at him and he chuckles. That gentle laugh has your heart skipping a beat or two.

He hums as he opens your water and takes a gulp. "Hey! That's mine you creep" you say as you try to grab it.

"I'm not a creep!" He laughs, raising his arm above his head.

"You wouldn't be following me if you weren't" you say inbetween jumps.

He once again avoids the question, this time by walking around you. "Where we heading?" He asks

"I'm heading home, you're leaving me alone."

"Aw why can't I come?" He pouts, you scoff at him while you cross the street.

"Isn't it obvious? You're a strange man following me like a lost puppy. Of course you don't belong in my house."

"But I want to go!" Gojo whines

"Why?"

Why does he want to, he wonders, is there even an appropriate answer?

"I wanna know you" he mumbles as he looks down at you, waiting to see your reaction. He imagined it as cute, sweet maybe, instead your eyebrows are furrowed and you looked mad. And yet, you let him follow you. In silence, of course.

Your mom did say make friends. I mean, she never said bring strangers into your home, especially when they borderline harassed you. But you can't shake him off, plus he's seems nice? However nice someone can be after bothering and assaulting you.

You turn onto your street and stop, "how do I know you're not going to hurt me?" Your voice sounded weak to him, even softer than when you called him a pervert earlier.

"Why would I hurt you?"

"Why would you wanna get to know me?"

He chuckles, "why wouldn't I?"

You wanted to gag. What was this, a love sitcom?

"I'll tell you what-" you take a deep breath, "I'll give you my number and if I decide you're not a creep, or a pervert or a stalker, or-"

"I get it" he says as he rubs the back of his neck

"If I somehow decide you're not any of those things, I guess we can hangout."

"Hangout?! It'd be a date!"

You pull out a pen from your bag and grab his arm, "Just because you're not a disgusting man, doesn't mean I'll go out with you. It just means you can get to know me, like you said."

"Yeahh but I meant like I'd take you out to dinner or something."

"Then tell me that." you chuckle, a sound that was music to his ears.

"I'd like to take you out to dinner, or something."

"You're weird" you laugh and walk away, when you hear him following you shooed him away and disappeared down a small alley.

When Gojo looks down at his arm, ready to immediately put it in his phone, he sees '9-1-1' and "get help <3" written.

[bloogers-boogers]

~Marriage au~ (part two)

So, I was drawing this post when the idea strikes me kabdksdhsls and now it’s a thing.

We all know the whole idea of Adam becoming a sinner, well that’s basically the start of the story. He becomes a sinner, he gets in the hotel, he manages to make a deal with Lucifer in exchange of his soul, BUT, that’s like way after. Why? Because in this au Adam soul was trapped to some random overlord, no, it’s not Alastor, Vox or Valentino. It’s somebody else just as powerful. The whole reason Adam gave his soul to him wasn’t outta free will, it was because this demon in peculiar has this ability to make people do things they don’t want to do (hypnosis?? Idk similar to Vox ig), which Adam was a victim of. He made Adam “willingly” exchange his soul for an offer. This was before he managed to get to the hotel. So now he’s trapped to this guy.

The only ones who can see Adam being chained are demons that are also on a leash that includes Alastor. And this is how Lucifer found out about it because he overheard Alastor taunt Adam about it with very subtle words but Lucifer caught on immediately.

Which is where the plot begins.

Lucifer takes Adam aside and starts making a huge deal about it which Adam refused to admit it was even true.

Somehow in the long run Lucifer managed to get Adam to blurt out the truth after many attempts to gain his trust or at least make Adam accept his help (didn’t take long tbh, kinda like 2 hours after the confrontation).

So they both went to talk to the demon who owned Adam and Lucifer wasn’t planning on leaving there until he managed to have Adam’s soul free. The bad thing was that this overlord was quite power hungry and the fact that the KING of hell seemed desperate for this soul alone was an opportunity he couldn’t let down (he kinda figured being the first man his soul would be priceless in comparison to other sinners which is why he caught him in the first place but he wouldn’t have guessed that King Morningstar would want it after the battle they had it was shown those two didn’t get along.) but anyways.

So he offered Adam’s soul for the exchange of Lucifer giving up on the throne which was laughable. Lucifer denied, obviously, and Adam just kinda accepted defeat. But Lucifer didn’t give up on that, they tried other methods from ancient scrolls to old rituals but nothing worked to set Adam’s soul free. Lucifer didn’t want to resort to this but he had no other choice by the looks of it. A soul contract is a very powerful thing which is why it’s almost unbreakable, but he was the king of hell. He had an immense power that COULD break a soul contract. But thats only if…

Adam spiritually gives himself to Lucifer in marriage in a holy union. Aka upon the eyes of God.

Which of course this is beyond breaking everything Lucifer stands for and his pride.

So this is where their deal commenced.

“Adam I will set you free, I will put my faith in God again to break that contract, my union with Lilith; everything I fought so hard to keep. I will sacrifice it all, myself, just for you to receive freedom again. But the only thing I ask for in exchange is your soul.”

“Seriously?! After literally everything we did to get myself free from that asshole you’re gonna get my soul stuck to you seconds after?! Speak of the fucking devil.”

“Adam for the love of my damn father! I’m literally sacrificing my marriage, connecting with my dad, throwing my pride away. Literally fucking marrying you! For a whole damn year! for your selfish underserving ass! I must get something back for it. Take it or leave it.”

Adam thought for a bit before shrugging. Yeah, it was a bitch, but it was unlikely for Lucifer to do something that bad when Charlie is involved in Adam’s self growth as a person.

“Okay. Deal,” he extends his hand towards Lucifer assuming it was a normal type of deal and the devil sigh.

Unfortunately for them, a holy marriage is supposed to be set in the tradicional terms.

He summoned a box with a golden serpent ring and kneeled down swallowing his pride and accepting Adam as his spouse.

“Adam, would you, the first man accept me; King Lucifer Morningstar as your faithful and loyal husband?”

This startled Adam of course, cause what the fuck was Lucifer doing.

Adam huffed incredulous, “Loyal I doubt it.”

Lucifer tsk sourly already regretting this but held it in. That could wait after their stupid church wedding.

“But sure, whatever…” Adam blushed embarrassed by the whole thing (after all he never experienced something like this before, a marriage proposal; considering he was already born married or given wives), offering his hand while Lucifer looked up a bit before his gaze fell back down to Adam’s fingers and gently slid the ring on his wedding finger.

Suddenly Lucifer and Adam appear in a church house with the grim reaper as their priest and the wedding begins.

“In the name of God, I, Lucifer Morningstar, take you, Adam, to be my husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, until parted by death. This is my solemn vow."

Adam blushed some more, he wasn’t sure why he was being an emotional bitch about it when all of this wasn’t entirely willing but still, he was actually experiencing a wedding in the point of view of a groom.

Adam wasn’t sure what to say but to replicate Lucifer’s vows.

“In the name of God, I, Adam, take you, Lucifer Morninstar, to be my husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, until parted by death. This is my solemn vow."

Lucifer bit his lip, feeling unsure all of a sudden. Was he really gonna do this just for Adam? He looked at his wedding band; the memories, the only thing he had left linked to Lilith. Once he accepts Adam as his, his ring would evaporate and his soul would forever be bounded to Adam.

He winced his eyes shut letting the reaper finish the ceremony.

“So I will repeat this again, in case someone is already rethinking this and wants to flee to the nearest exit which is right at the left end,” the grim reaper side eyes Lucifer, “Do you Lucifer Morningstar accept Adam to be your lawfully wedded husband?”

“I do.”

“Do you Adam accept Lucifer Morningstar to be your lawfully wedded husband?”

“I-“

Adam also had his own doubts, his promises to Eve, the connection he once had for her, the faithful and love for the mother of his children. All of that smacked him in the face with each passing second of the ceremony. He hasn’t even thought of Eve in so long.

“I do.”

The reaper gestures Lucifer to give his ring.

Lucifer winced harder feeling a tear wanting to slip out as he starts.

“Adam, I give you this ring as a symbol of my vow, and with all that I am and all that I have, I honor you, in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit,” he slid the ring on Adam. Already sensing the ring that belonged to Lilith turning into dust as he stepped back, falling off his fingers ready to be replaced with Adam’s. Shit.

Adam was given a ring to place it on Lucifer’s wedding finger. He gulped, awkwardly getting ready for his part.

“Lucifer, I give you this ring as a symbol of my vow, and with all that I am and all that I have, I honor you, in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit,” he places it on Lucifer’s finger, sealing their bound.

They both watched as the gold of their rings brightened and tightened in their skin.

“I here by declare you; Lucifer Morningstar and Adam Morningstar: king and king consort of hell. You may kiss the groom.”

Adam flinched disgusted, Lucifer cringed while swallowing and mustering the courage to peck Adam quickly.

And that sealed it. In the eyes of the holy spirit they were married. The holy light washed over them as the church bells rang announcing their strong union. Adam’s contract with the overlord broke as the power of their holy union broke it.

After Adam’s little scene of being set free from his contract was done, everything vanished and suddenly they were at a hotel room, lighted by candles and seductive music.

They both looked around, Adam confused, Lucifer just startled by the abruptness.

“Yeah. This is where things get awkward,” Lucifer admitted.

So a week passes and they act like all of that never happened. Everyone at the HOTEL was oblivious of the whole thing but eventually the news spreads around and Charlie finds out from a sinner.

“King Morningstar! Congratulations for your beautiful groom,” he then bows at both Adam and Lucifer.

Lucifer tenses when it happens and notices Charlie’s odd stare.

“I don’t know what he’s talking about, haha, he must be a little cookoo,” he swirls his finger next to his head, nervous. Adam just face palms by how awful Lucifer is at lying.

Of course Charlie doesn’t seem to believe his bullshit so Lucifer quits it.

“Okay, it’s not what you think and it’s absolutely TEMPORARY,” he explains in a quickly fashion, “Adam was trapped, I offered my help, the guy wanted the throne I denied. Only method to get Adam free was something more powerful than a soul contract and that was a holy marriage. And now, we’re married. Temporarily.”

Somehow, and as weird as it was, Charlie and the rest kinda swept it udder a rug. So the whole incident was kinda not a big deal (bc it’s not legit if they don’t actually like each other, still weird tho), both acted like normal and normally they’d just tried laughing off any comments about their marriage. Until it actually becomes a big deal.

When Lucifer starts feeling awkward or annoyed when someone approaches Adam with all intentions on trying to fuck him.

“AHAHA! Wowie! How fun, now get your filthy hands off my husband.”

And everytime Adam would question that, Lucifer would shrug it off as.

“I have to keep the part.”

You can imagine the drama, mix and confusing feelings and new found jealousy. And all of that in this.

So yeah. Thats the au 😭

[tmasc-confessions]

I think im scared to transition because i think that if i get too close to manhood im going to loose all my friends. Ive been on the receiving end of many a „all men suck- except for you youre fine“ like thats supposed to make me feel better, do you genuinely think all men suck or do you see me as a man you cant have it both ways. I think it doesnt help that i originally came out as non binary so i think a lot of people saw me coming out the second time as just a pronoun shift when its like No im a guy and i want to be treated like one please.

And then its also stuff like the whole „man vs bear“ thing and i dont mean to discount anyones experinces or anything or talk over anyone, there were people who were taking it so seriously and couldnt seem to grasp the concept that saying „i would rather be lost in the woods with a bear than you“ could possibly be hurtful even if its meant as a joke. And when most of the affirmations of your manhood come from being „jokingly“ accused of misogyny, i say i like the male form of a pokemon more than the female form i get called a misogynist, i accidentally interrupt someone in conversation and get made fun of for „talking over women“ but if i turn around and make that exact kind of joke back at them they look at me confused and act like that couldnt possibly be a joke. it makes it feel like that must be how they actually see me and if i dare to actively reenforce my own masculinity then i will be by proxy reenforcing those ideas about me and prove to people they must be true. I dont really know how to resolve this and if its just something ill have to accept

Transition should be for yourself, not for others. If you don't feel okay transitioning under those circumstances then that's your choice.

However, keep in mind that if and when you do transition, there will always be people out there who will Be Normal about it. It just might be a little hard to find them, but I promise, they're there. :)

[sirwadewilsonfromimgur]

Deadpool and Wolverine KCAU Christmas Special

Part 2

Authors note: This part of the story has been broken up into chapters to make it an easier read and more manageable for me... fair warning, this is 2065. It's an adult Dr. James Wilson story which as you may or may not know, unless you've read my other stuff, is a Marvel and House MD crosover-vers... So come play with me in my sandbox.

New Jersey Earth-10005

Christmas time 2065

Chapter 1

It was the week before Christmas, Princeton-Plainsboro Hospital dosn't stop working for holidays. James was already having a shit day as he walked in to his office... his friend Gregory house was behind his desk, likely waiting for him or hiding from someone. You never really knew... he was on the phone with someone.

I know right, its crazy how... oh, he just walked in.

Who are you on the phone with?

Your sister Ellie, fun gal. We were just discussing your high-school years. She called for you, but I was already here so I took the call for you...

God damn it! Give me the phone...

Hello.

Hello James, your friend Greg is hilarious, I hope no one ever pays me to kill him...

Why do you always say creepy shit like that, Ellie. Can't anyone in this damn family have a normal phone conversation?

Oh, we sound a little testy today. I'll cut to the chaise... Dad wants all of us home for Christmas this year. Including you and Laura. He wants to do a whole thing... your presence... is not optional thos year. I'll see you on Monday.

Ellie thats fucking ridiculous.

I am busy. People don't stop getting sick just because it's December. I'm a doctor. i can't just take a week off without notice... I know that's a hard concept since you decided to make it your vocation to put people in hospitals or worse.

Or worse cost extra, but that's besides the point...We all make choices, little brother.

The question is, are you prepared to deal with the consequences...

You can get in the jet dad will 100% send on Monday, fly home for the week willingly

Or....

Deal with Laura when she comes to collect you along with her entourage of Xmen... I'm sure the hospital staff will love that.

I don't think they're in the business of kidnapping doctors. Laura wouldn't do that even for dad.

Well, I would... and I'll bring all my favorite armed thugs to help... Or I suppose we could do christmas in New Jersey. As long as we're all together. Right?

Eleanor... you're a bitch.

Love you too, James... oh... and don't be surprised if dad hasn't already called that Cuddy Lady...

My Boss!

You know dad, I told him you'd tell me you're busy... so he was likely proactive. She is either terrified or the proud recipient of some large donation oooor "porque no los dos" as Laura would say.

James hung up the phone. He knew Ellie was serious, when Wade Wilson set his mind to it, he was focused and rarely didn't achieve his goals... a admirable trait. Until a gang of paramilitary goons show up to kidnap you so you don't miss traditional christmas eve lasagna.

-Cut to Wilson in Cuddys office-

He'd explained to her the situation... and she was well aware of the consequences. Wilson's relationship with his father was almost as crazy as his relationship with House...

She recalled a time before she was Dean of medicine. When Wade found out Wilson had received a mediocre review... he'd used his considerable influence and threats of violence to have the accreditation board threaten to pull certification from the hospital until it was remedied...

that's actually how she got the position. The previous dean was regularly harassed any time he felt Wilson was slighted, and finally, he couldn't take it anymore and retired early... to Wilsons credit, he had no idea this was going on until Cuddy took the job. the previous dean was probably threatened into silence on the subject, too...

Cuddy was never one to be bullied and had come clean with James about all of his father's antics shortly after taking the position. Wade Wilson was dangerous, but she'd be damned if she'd let a mercenary tell her how to run a hospital

Wilson quickly put a stop to this behavior and added that Cuddy was a friend knowing that bare minimum his dad would be less threatening to one of "Kittens" friends.

She agreed to give him the week off despite late notice and the myriad of other HR and staffing problems associated with being short a doctor on one condition... he had to take Greg with him... she didn't have the time or patience to Deal with the illustrious Dr House without Wilson to help her.

By the time he'd gotten back to his office house hadn't really moved much... sitting behind Wilson's desk playing on his phone...

Don't you have a patient or something to attend to?

Actually, no... none worth my time anyway... Forman and the cute australian one can handle what is obviously subclinical measles with a secondary flu infection... vaccinate your kids... idiots.

Well, since you're not busy, I guess you'd be ok leaving early with me and packing for a trip... I'd like you to come to Kansas city with me for Christmas...

Kinda short notice to book a flight. he said suspiciously

it'll be a direct flight, Private... no TSA and probably a bottle of Dom Pérignon. he said this in a tone of playful temptation.

I thought you were Jewish?

On paper I am... I converted for Bonnie when we got married, House... you were there at the wedding... I told you this.

like I keep track of your current brand of imaginary friend that closely... I do remember that marriage ending because despite converting to Judaism, you couldn't get a grasp on the Seventh Commandment in particular

Ok, ouch.

That leads me to my next question. What makes you think I want to go with you to your weird families christmas?

Because if you don't... unless you get an interesting case soon, Cuddy said you'd be scheduled 12 hour shifts in the clinic every day next week.

Damn it...

I suppose I will go with you to the middle of bum fuck and flyover and enjoy a country christmas on the ranch with you... not like I have a choice, besides I've never really had the chance to get to know your parents. I drank so much at the last wedding. The only thing I remember of them is one of them wore a red mask... and the other looked like an angry Calvin Kline model.

Kansas City is an actual metropolitan. My parents live in a high rise, not on a ranch... and dad... can be kind of shy in large groups of people he doesn't know.

Well, since im not allowed to be unsupervised, there are worse places to be in December... like the clinic, holiday ailments are the worst. At least one person has an ornament shoved up their ass... But it beats the hell out of spending the holidays with my parents. You're lucky, really. My dad was a Marine constantly moving... or abandoning me with my grandmother.

Oh, are we playing this game? I was raised by a mentally unstable warlord with a gun fetish and his Victorian era husband the worlds grummpiest teddy bear who has knives in his hands and PTSD from the American Civil War.... and a grandmother who did more drugs than every member of the Rolling stones combined, and she liked to tell me wildly inappropriate stories... usually about my dad's banging, or how she was a sultry honey pot when she worked for MI6.

well, my grandmother beat me..

Jesus fine, you win.

on that note, Johns Hopkins didn't exactly have a good mutant biology program... if they're both genetically you parents shouldn't you *waves his hands in the air making mock magical gestures* have some power

I'm pretty sure my mutant ability is loving and tolerating reprobates and assholes.

It takes one to know one, James...

Our story ends here for now... the boys go home and pack for a week in Kansas City.

Wade had indeed arranged for a car to pick them up and take them to a private air strip where a Gulfstream G700 was waiting for them

Fancy!

Trust me, it gets old quick.

Link to Chapter 3

Silly photo shop for fun.

[tendebill]

drew the ow strike team as paladins of voltron, because i am normal about them :]

(2 other versions and a fucking essay below the cut!)

ok so im gonna give my reasoning for each of them

Reinhardt - the easierst to pick, the Yellow Lion is the most tank-like (besides the Black Lion, but thats cuz Black is the head + torso), also i think the legs of voltron are supposed to be the "pillars" that allow the team to work well, without them the whole thing crumbles (literally). from what i recall from the actual show, the Yellow Paladin is protective and loyal. Rein was the easiest to match up tbh (plus even the color fits lol)

Torbjörn - not my favourite choice, but tbh i dont think any other lion fits him? besides maybe Yellow, but Rein was too perfect so i couldnt give Torb that one. anyway, the Green Lion is the left hand. i consider the legs to be the "pillars" holding up the team, whereas the arms are the actual damage-dealers/the ones that act on what the leader commands. and as Torb is a dps, that fits just fine. hes not quite a leader, so being the left hand instead of the right is good. plus the Green Lion is inquisitive and curious, and since Torb is a genius, that fits just fine too. i thought he would look weird with green, since i associate him with red-orange-yellow the most, but he looks kinda nice

Ana - i was originally gonna make her blue from the get-go, but i thought it'd be silly to make the remaining three switch lions a bunch, so i can get an excuse to draw Gabe and Jack in multiple suits lmao. but Ana starts out as red, the right hand of Voltron, described as the most temperamental and aggressive. it requires a paladin that can keep up with it and works on instinct most of the time. i feel like Ana would have to BECOME the motherly figure for her team, instead of being one from the start. with that i think she would have been a more "lone wolf" type at first, only later on becoming more mindful of her teammates and how much they need her, which would lead to her becoming the paladin of the Blue Lion - a pillar that keeps the team going along with Rein, a vital part, but no longer in a leadership position. i've seen the Blue Lion described as a "free spirit" too, which i think is also perfect for her :3

Jack - for him i had three options, all of which fit him well: blue, red and black. and instead of picking one, i decided he was going to have three different lions :))) for shits and giggles. so he starts out as blue, a free spirit, very versitile (from what i gathered, the Blue Lion doesn't have a specific "thing" it specilizes in, but instead does a little bit of everything, kinda like Jack). i imagine Jack was the middle-man, an integral part of team-building. he would have been the one to push everyone to work together and follow Gabe's lead, but he was content being on the sidelines most of the time. eventually he takes up more responsibility, sees that he's vital for the team and that he can do more working side by side with Gabe, and so he becomes the paladin of the Red Lion, Gabe's right hand man. then he of course slowly grows to be the actual leader, as Gabe's approach changes and he slowly abandons his original role, passing the command over to Jack. and so Jack's last lion is the Black Lion. also i feel like all three lions fit Jack's color scheme pretty well, so that's another win for me hah

Gabe - since he was the original Strike Commander, i thought it only natural that he would be the first to pilot the Black Lion. the pilot needs to be decisive, stay cool in the face of danger and be someone whose men will follow him into battle with no hesitation - all traits that i see Gabriel would have had to have during the first Omnic Crisis. like i mentioned before, Jack eventually becomes his second in command, and then slowly their roles start to shift. Gabe is no longer content in making decisions for the whole team, he probably also becomes more violent and reckless, relying on Jack to keep him in check. he loses his connection with the Black Lion and becomes the paladin of the Red Lion, Jack's right hand man. the traits of Red fit him well too - aggressive, relies on instinct, temperamental, plus i imagine Gabe is the type to want to get things done as quickly as possible, no matter the risk, to save more people faster. plus, again, the colors match up yaaaay!

fun fact: i never finished watching voltron ^^

also i am truthing anahardt and reaper76 as we speak

[polarmary]

Rating MILGRAM shoes because- what are those?!

Inspired by a post I stumbled upon talking about Kotoko's T1 shoes I decided to go to check all of them and rate one by one both the drip and how pratical they are for a prison. (This is satire please guys don't cancel me over shoe opinions)

1-Haruka Sakurai T1 Shoes

Ok....bro has that psych ward drip. Honestly they look comfortable for a prison, I'll give him that. 7/10

T2 Shoes

He's not even wearing one of them- how did I never notice that. He clearly doesn't know how to tie the laces either but anyways, still comfortable and to be honest, I like the shoes. He loses points for not wearing one of them so- 7/10 (Mu teach this poor kid how to wear shoes pls)

2-Yuno Kashiki T1 Shoes

Typical school shoes, not bad but still boring, they also start to hurt after a while. I've seen how you dress girl, come on you can do better than this..... I'd say 4/10

T2 Shoes

(Why did she have to split her legs so much....have one of them) There was an upgrade i guess, it's more stylish but still uncomfortable to stand on for days on end in a prison. 4/10

3-Fuuta Kajiyama T1/T2 Shoes (man didn't even bother changing shoes)

What are these bulky ah shoes.....I'll give him the benefit of the doubt and say they must at least be comfortable since they look like sports shoes. (can we talk about those socks tho-) 6/10

4-Muu Kusunoki T1 Shoes

Ok first of all, who the fuck goes to a prison and wears high heels?! Like- out of everything you could wear, you use the LEAST comfortable or pratical choice possible?? She really said slaying first, comfort second alright..... 3/10 im not sorry

T2 Shoes

.......I'm not even going to say anything.......it got worse. 2/10

5-Shidou Kirisaki T1 Shoes

Uhm...ok grandpa shoes i guess.....still comfy tho. By themselves they don't look bad but with the actual fit- my guy what the fuck where you thinking.... 5/10

T2 Shoes

My guy really looked at Kotoko's T1 shoes and thought they looked cool. Still better than hers but thats for later. What on earth are even these tho, they are like crocs but with normal shoe soles??? He's clearly one of those guys that get dressed by their wives and can't do it by themselves because jesus.... 4/10?

6-Mahiru Shiina T1 Shoes

Ok, nails done, I see you. Grandma shoes mixed with platform shoes.....she's smol so I get it. They actually look comfy but what about winter girl- 7/10 No T2 because.....well....wheelchair (txs Kotoko)

7-Kazui Mukuhara T1 Shoes

What are these shoes, they have belts on the side?? thats a belt right- From the front they look like fisherman boots, what is this man wearing. At least they don't look uncomfortable. 6/10

T2 Shoes

Alright he got comfier, very solid. I'd wear those in prison, 9/10 great upgrade Dad!

8-Amane Momose T1/T2 Shoes (dam girl change a bit)

School shoes same as Yuno but this ones.....I've worn that and god do they fuck up your toes.....Is she ok? 3/10

9-Mikoto Kayano & John T1/ T2 Shoes

Ok my guy Vans i see you, he went for the comfy option but the color....could be better. 8/10 But can we take a moment to talk about how John can't tie shoe laces??

What is that- He's going to trip on that thing and fall face first on the floor. Those look one step away from unlacing.

And finally, the one that started it all,

10-Kotoko Yuzuriha T1 Shoes

(again, what are those socks) I don't even know what these are supposed to be?? Are these a normal version of those beach sandals or something?! They look ugly as hell (god that random ass circle on the side- it looks like a black and white pokeball tho) and uncomfortable too. 1/10 burn these things (you are lucky you are hot)

T2 Shoes

Now we are talking, the biggest glow up ever!! They are literally just military security boots, go off queen, slay (perferably not literally, we've seen that enough) Comfy, fashionable, she can step on me with those- wait what? 9/10

[trulyradicalactivist]

To be honest I feel kind of insecure of having transids for fun/that are of my own choice, I feel uncomfortable like I wont be accepted, I dont know why but probably because people constantly say 'trans(gender) isnt a choice' like ok i get it isnt for you, but dont speak on behalf of everyone, you're making me seem like I dont exist, Like I am transgender by choice I dont feel like I will be accepted for saying that and I just feel so insecure about it. I have some other transids I do for fun too. like transplural and transtherian (not really sure if that one is completely by choice) but I just feel so pressured into having dysphoria, Its important that as a community we accept everyone, Saying 'we didnt choose it' isnt the way to fight bigots, its 'we stand for everyone whether they chose it or not, they all deserve rights, and those of us who can, will not change for you.'

like being able to choose something doesnt automatically mean giving it up. I can choose if I want to be an astronaut too when I grow up, I wouldnt stop that just because someone told me not to.

Ive seen people say things like 'Transids are okay for fun' but i feel a little iffy around the topic of gender, like if I bring that/it up they might not think Transgender falls under a Transid? And I just generally feel weird about it.

I Just feel

I just feel weird even talking about it

Like arent my identities just for me? I generally dont know if I will be accepted in transid spaces by it, and thats a horrible feeling to not feel like you would be accepted by your own community

(I also kinda feel the LGBT wouldnt tolerate it, Ive been told 'one post like this and bigots say everyone is acting like this' as if im some kind of monster for acting like it, isnt transgender a desirable thing? isnt being a boy a desirable thing?)

It just feels so wrong, for them to say that

Is there any kind of term for this? (for choosing your gender/identity?) I've personally coined genderchoice .

Is there any/some kind of more mainstream community/group of people I might get to know that might help/relate to me

(Am I the first person in history for this?? lol. everywhere else seems so silent about choosing your gender.)

Dont Answer this next part: (I just want to say)

I May have just Misunderstood Identity as a whole (no offense to be)

Like Isn't identity supposed to be who YOU are?? like wdym someones forcing you to be trans, you DO identify as it, right?? like, identify as in feeling inside you and thinking you feel like that description of a boy/want to be it / desire that ...? Do they mean they wish they didnt have all the dysphoria pain suffering and that they could be normal?? do they mean that they wish bigots wouldnt hate on them for nothing?? seriously.

Because if something Inside this/them is genuinely forcing them fo be trans and they are MISERABLE because of it, get them some help!!

Also isnt that the whole point of trans that you can be something else then what you were assigned/forced to be at birth?? if you were assigned trans that would be kinda ruining the whole point ?? right .?

This is why, in all my arguments and debates, I always mention that people can choose. That sometimes it is a choice. That sometimes we can control how we feel and we choose to be someone else than what we were when we were created and given life.

I fully believe you should be able, if so inclined, to pick your own identity. That is what identity is for, to be who you really are, whether that be by choice or not. That is why we make term decisions and pick the labels we use.

I don't believe you are any less valid than I or anyone else for that matter. You are still who you say you are, even if who you say you are is more in your control that others. You are as deserving of my fight and my care as those who cannot choose.

Be confident in yourself. Don't back down from anything at all. You are still who you say you are. You will always be who you want to be. Even if there were people who wouldn't support you, or at least that's what you fear, there are many like you, and more who will support you.

If nothing else, you have a home in my fight and in my side of this community. I extend that to every person who is on the "wrong" side of what society considers normal.

I hope you have a good day.

[jazzmckay]

davg day 6:

if anyone needs me i will be over here lying on the floor

i'd already collected all the wolf statuettes apparently so as soon as i got the last from the inky (!!!!!!) i was able to view all the regrets back to back to back to back....

so yes. the floor. im a fun mix of excited and overwhelmed and heartbroken. stunned to find a ton of my headcanons are now actual canon. how intense. poor solas, jfc, but also shiiiiiit the dagger and the titans, thats so damn rough. i understand why lace is as angry as she is. the dwarves absolutely got the worst deal ever here. they are, after all, the ones who have to deal with the darkspawn all the time, not just during a blight. i took so many screenshots during all this.... i loved that the whole team got together like a damn book club to discuss solas' worst memories omg... rip to solas he's been mega exposed. the mortifying ordeal of being known. but my rook is absolutely sympathetic. i'm constantly wishing i could go talk to him whenever i want :( solas :(((( (id REALLY like to write a missing scene where rook goes to talk to him after minrathous vs treviso because who the fuck else would understand the weight of dooming innocents on such a scale? part of her sympathy is because i, the player, am sympathetic, but i also think the harder being a leader gets, the more she understands the complexity of the choices he made)

the topic of curing the titans came up..... houghhh is it really possible? will it happen in this game? aAaAAA

and then im meeting someone in the crossroads with morrigan, who she called "she". am i about to meet mythal? in spirit form after solas took her power at the end of dai??? i realize i can get this answer as soon as i want lmao but theres soooo much i want to do at the same times always!!!!

TAASH. i need to know everything about you RIGHT NOW

during all these sequences, i found myself so intrigued by everything taash had to add. theyre actually... really fucking smart? brains AND brawn? my DUDE thats hot. i got this vibe from the "taash talks" stuff as well. there is so much to them beneath the Brutal Warrior vibe

also i got a giggle out of taash immediately being like "they were fucking" about solas and mythal, and i got approval for agreeing "oh they were definitely doing it" sdfgmf incredible

i did indeed get a continuation about taash's gender issues and i'm so in love.... it's actually really wonderful to see a character still figuring it out instead of already knowing. cathartic. the struggle of feeling "not normal" and having a different response to gender things than others. simply not having the frame of reference or the terminology, just knowing theres this Feeling. can't wait to see how it plays out

the way solas was responsible for this with the titans and then when he woke up in the current world with the veil, he felt like it HAPPENED AGAIN.... ACCIDENTALLY. TO HIS OWN PEOPLE im going to scream. the way its linked to tranquility. screaming and screaming and

honestly all of this was delicious in a ton of ways, including lace, bellara, and davrin just being present, leaning all this about the dwarves, the elves, and the blight. bellara and lace relating over the need to reevaluate so much of what they understood..... hhh and davrin probably now understands more about the blight than any other warden ever.

when bellara mentioned that solas might be able to possess someone to escape the fade my pupils went blown like an excited cat lol literally instantly "POSSES ME, SOLAS....."

yes yes we're supposed to be wary, we're expecting him to betray us of course of course but listen. rook and solas could be in one body fighting this together as a little treat. im just SAYING

so after this i did emmrichs personal mission in the necropolis gardens, which was fucking beautiful. i do actually find cemeteries really peaceful, personally. ive been to some old canadian ones and had a great time sitting in the grass between the headstones and writing in my journal. so i loved this very much. walked around quite a bit, not sprinting at all, just taking it in and doing the side quest there

also emmrich and bellara are team "upbeat and kind, reveal their traumatizing backstory, then go back to normal like that never came up!" omg they.... i wish there was a "hug companion" button

i went to the anderfels after but i was feeling a bit overstimulated with all the stuff i learned! but i will def play more later because i am dying to find out more

[t4transsexual]

have you ever dated cis women? when did you decide to be t4t?

i have dated a couple of cis women, one for a little while and we didnt get on because she was one of those fems who doesnt want their butch/masc/transmasc partner to have feelings and needs and also didnt want me to say no to sex and we didnt last long because i was deeply unhappy with her

as for when i decided to be t4t, i guess its probably about time i open up about the specific instance(s) that lead to me deciding to be exclusively t4t, because i havent actually talked about what pushed me to make the shift into exclusively dating trans people. i was trying to run a more positive page and frankly i wasnt really ready to talk about this so publicly, especially with the terf/transphobe interaction i get almost all the time on this account, but i figure i can now and ill probably turn off replies if i can figure out how

tw for graphic description of sexual assault and transphobia under the cut

when i started medically transitioning, i decided to try dating guys again. keep in mind i had a lot of comphet before deciding i was t4t; i basically only really beat that around 2022 when i turned 20. and i matched with a cis guy on tinder, who looked like he had a lot of personality judging by his photos i was 18, almost 19 at the time

literally the first thing this man says to me, after i tell him im trans, is "oh, cool, i love femboys." red flag #1. i said, "im not a femboy, i present masculinely, dont call me that." he apologized, and we moved on

at some point, we're talking about sex. he says hes very subby and a size queen. all fine, i told him i was a stone top/dom, i didnt really like experiencing penetration and it was painful for me due to a condition i had at the time. he says thats fine, everythings good. this will be important later

later, he tells me he told his parents i was trans. i asked him why, given that he both didnt ask me first and said his parents were transphobic. he says "my mom asked, was i just supposed to lie?" i say, yes. he apologizes, i /really/ want to call the whole thing off at this point but he seemed nice enough that maybe he just didnt know trans dating as well as i did

the entire relationship, he just says transphobic shit. he told me that he "understood why people didnt want to date trans people, because its a lot of baggage." he was an active alcoholic by the way. and also dating a trans person. he would neg me for being trans and then turn around and say that i was such a hot guy. he even misgendered me one time, and got upset at me for getting pissed about it, and made me believe i was overreacting. he made me believe that he was doing me a favor by ever dating me

at some point, we're at my parents house, and he tells me he wants to fuck me with his penis. i tell him no, that i dont want to, that i dont know about it, that im scared, pretty much anything i can say to get him to reconsider, but he argued and said itd be good for me and that i can choose which hole but it became very clear to me that i had no choice. so i said he could fuck my pussy

it was excruciating. it hurt so bad, but i knew i couldnt say no. he couldnt stay hard unless he was degrading me and i didnt want him to, so he kept making me jerk him off so he could keep raping me

eventually he stopped, and i wasnt even really aware i had been raped at first. ive been sexually abused by several people in my life and generally it has taken me a while to accept when ive been sexually abused by a person. so we kept dating like normal, long distance btw, but my mental health was deteriorating. i was suicidal for the first time in a while. i was self harming again. i couldnt stop thinking about killing myself.

eventually, he breaks up with me for being suicidal. he says im guilt tripping him or something, i dont remember. and that was december of 2021

we go no contact. i still dont realize he raped me. but i knew that there was something deeply wrong in the way our relationship was

right after him, i dated a trans woman who we went to the same high school. just the difference in how i was treated by her than by him, with her she treated me like i was an actual equal in the relationship. with him, he felt he was superior to me; like he "owned" me, or something

we broke up, we werent really compatible, but when i got with her, she taught me what being t4t was, and the implicit understanding and the comfort and safety i felt. after we broke up was when i decided i didnt like men, and still remained t4t after

i realized what he did to me was rape nearly a year later. he correctively raped me for being a stone top, more specifically, and i dont think he wouldve been "empowered" to rape me if i was a cis man, or even a cis woman. i understand that the "off" feeling i felt throughout that relationship was because he, as a cis person, felt superior over me as a trans person, and felt that if he wanted to fuck me, i shouldnt get a say. he talked about doing other actions to me that i didnt want done at the time, certainly not by him, and if we werent long distance, he probably wouldve raped me several more times

being with my current girlfriend, we click in a way that i havent felt with any cis person, the women included. she definitely isnt going to rape me for being trans. ive undergone physical therapy so that if i ever got raped again, it wouldnt hurt as bad, and it worked and ive actually enjoyed bottoming (consensually) with my girlfriend. she makes me feel very safe, and we understand each other and each others needs as trans people very well, and being with her has helped me process the time i was raped, and the several other times ive been sexually abused by other people

now that ive had time to process these things, i would say that i dont feel the same way around trans people (including me) dating cis people anymore. when i first started this account, i wouldve never admitted this then btw, i fully did not think trans people should date cis people, because i had fostered such a deep distrust of cis people as a result of that whole relationship and assault. i believed cis people would always be bad partners to trans people, but i dont believe that anymore. in the very unlikely circumstance i find myself single again, i may even consider dating a cis woman again. but probably not, because ive grown to really like the implicit understanding that we as trans people get with other trans people

thats why im t4t, and when i became t4t was around the beginning of 2022

[freakingweirdo]

oh rika I reread (and caught up with) total trauma today here's what I still remember

pros-

there's like, one panel of gwen and heather that's drawn really nicely. I also like aleheather qpr but I think I'm just biased because I like aleheather and I'm aromantic . whatever . as the series progressed I grew fond of duncney, like this version of them actually was not boring and I liked it

cons-

jesus christ where to start. I'll focus on what bothered me most. the excessive, grating use of therapy-speak was like nails on a chalkboard. it made sense for characters like, say, heather to go on long monologues of pop psychology buzzwords because she's a psych student and that's what psych students sound like. that part where vito was talking to zoey, that made sense too, because he's probably been in therapy. everyone else was like. Normal People Don't Talk Like This. so many times characters just went on weird tangents where they basically stated all of their struggles, motivations, and traumas right there. Normal People Don't Talk Like That. I guess they don't call itt total traumda fojnithgin!!!

another thing I didn't really understand was the age gap between cecily (was that her name) and courtney. for some reason going in I assumed that the main cast was like, mid to late twenties, so heather and gwen's reactions made sense! and then they were like "but you're TWENTY THREE (pr whatever it was)" and I was like uh? what. I'm only twenty I know this. but a 4-5 year age gap with someone you met at university as an adult isn't like. grooming. I understand the point was that courtney dates people she can control and that was the problem, I guess it just would have been more profound if cecily was like, just over 18 or something really egregious, maybe I'm just too young to get it yet. whatever this tangent was pointless sorry. besides the fact that tt was selling merch of courtney x cecily before denouncing them as a super toxic couple LOL

I also lol'd a bit at the redone panels

what was the purpose of putting cody in an ahegao hoodie during his character climax. the point of it being that sierra was infantilizing him and how toxic and unhealthy their relationship had been because of that . and he's wearing an ahegao hoodie. middle school boy core. was it supposed to be meaningful? funny? I don't know

the npd representation. um. okay. who let that get published . I hope that's going somewhere

there's more I'm forgetting. okay love and light and peace

-@direscrowley

totaltrauma is something of a guilty pleasure for me in that i dont like, interact w/ the comics to support them but i do keep up with it and i have read the whole thing. like, you can say a lot of bad things about it. but i havent ever heard it called boring.!

you can tell theres a ton of effort put into the art as well.. replicating the td style is hard to do! i think cecily’s character design is rly good. most ppl fail to make convincing characters in the td style that arent clearly using a base, since every design has a unique build.

but the cons. yeahgh. the npd thing is craaazy even if amy’s going for a redemption arc is it good representation to have one single character with npd. and the first thing she does when diagnosed is celebrate that she has an excuse for abusing her sister now.

and you look in the replies and responses to the comic are multiple people going omg my ex was a narcissist just like her ughh so self absorbed and abusive etc like. i cant possibly see how pri thought the npd amy plot was a good idea..!

the courtney/cecily thing was so funny to me too like fuuuck a 19 year old and 24 year old dating thats crazy someone call the cops.. i love total trauma sometimes it’s camp remember when courtney said i was gay first!

ALSO CODY WASNT WEARING AN AHEGAO HOODIE it was just random anime girls not in the throes of orgasm that looks extremely similar to an ahegao hoodie lol. still a bad design choice imo but yeah..

i think the series is also bad at tone shifts like when duncan is at the hospital and his status is unknown and heather and leshawna start arguing about homestuck discourse. it’s so out of place it becomes funny bc it’s like damn duncan might be dead guys..?

yeah. total trauma is a comic

remember chris being revealed as a pedo and the next comic was him discoursing steven universe in a bubble bath. thats the epitome of total trauma to me. and it got retconned which makes it even more total trauma

[squidthesquidd]

OHOHOHOHO YES YOU ARE ENABLING ME I NEED TO INFO DUMP!!!

first of all, yes they are small. not only was the gem that was supposed to form split in two, they were also in the ground for a veeerrrrrryyy long time. theyre overcooked like amethyst! which made them even smaller!

but you see, normally onyx’s are HUGE! roughly eleven feet tall :D if onyx’s were normal sized, ingo and emmet would have come out at barely two feet tall, but luckily theyre a bit taller at 4’6”

being compressed in the ground for so long also made them both extremely durable! onyx’s represent strength and protection, so not not only are the twins verrrrry difficult to poof, they can withstand extreme temperatures like garnet :D

Also, since we never see an onyx in steven universe, i like to think they were actually discontinued! with the dwindling natural materials it just wasn't beneficial to make these giant eleven foot gems that just stood guard at warp pads. so Emmet and Inggo emerged verrrry late like, extremely late. im thinking this au takes place around the time peridot becomes a little friend creature, so the timeline is:

gemwar: onyx discontinued, emmet and ingo forming

after gem war: 5,000 or so years later, emmet and ingo emerge. very small

before the series and while it's going: Emmet and ingo are discovered and made to be entertainment for important gem higher ups. i'm thinking this goes on for a few hundred years

bit after peri is part of the crystal gems: emmet and ingo escape to earth and meet the gems!

now, emmet and ingo don't have their signature big coats on homeworld, and instead wear something similar to pearls. bodysuit with a lil frilly thing :p cus just like pearls, they were basically just supposed to be decorations

Emmet and Ingo, early on in their life as toys, managed to steal a device they could use to get information. haha lmao gem internet

anyway, whenever they were able, they would research things using this device, and formed a particular interest in earth. they read about the crystal gems and life on earth and- get ready

TRAINS

upon discovering the existence of trains, on earth and other alien societies, they were obsessed. they would talk about them as often as they could, and accidentally incorporated train talk into their everyday vocabulary, which the gems around them thought was verry strange

eventually, the reason emmet and ingo decide to escape, is big sad :(. so basically, the twins were given to a gem who led a platoon of soldiers, and threw emmet and ingo into their room and told them they could do whatever they wanted with them. so, the soldiers decide to just fuck the boys up. reallly beat the shit outta them, and they actually manage to poof ingo, something that had never happened before. then they start shouting about trying to shatter ingo, and this obviously freaked the hell out of emmet. so Emmet grabs ingos gem, and because he’s just small as hell compared to all the other gems in the room, manages to slip through them and escape.

now he's on the run, and just trying to hide long enough for ingo to reform. when ingo eventually does, they decide their life on homeworld is definitely over so they either have the choice of being shattered, or stealing a ship and escaping. they of course decide that stealing a ship would be better :] they know the layout of the area pretty well, so they are able to get to where ships are stored pretty easily, the only problem is actually flying them, buuuuut because of the device they stole, they had basic knowledge of how to operate it. they were being attacked the whole time, but did manage to successfully fly off of homeworld!!!!

It takes a while, but they manage to make it to earth. they’re researching humans a bunch and decide to choose human names for themselves! because humans are just so cool! so thats where their names come from :D

around this time is a bit after peridots famous “calling yellow diamond a clod” moment, so when the gems see a homeworld ship entering the atmosphere, they immediately assume the worst. they attack it, and the ship crashes somewhere in the forest. In the crash, Emmets gem is cracked. no good. very bad :(

when the gems find the crash, and they see emmet and ingo inside, they immediately realize “these arent dangerous gems, these are just little guys. we just attacked a couple of little guys and now theyre crying. oh no :(“ cus they r just little guys!!! emmets gem is cracked and hes scared and ingo is holding him and crying his freaking eyes out cus his twin is hurt :((( and steven tries to get closer to heal emmet and ingo hisses at him like a damn little creature,, and steven has to explain that they didnt mean to hurt them and they just want help, and ingo is still suspicious, but he lets steven slap his spit on emmet

also i just realized i am just writing a fanfic here so i'm gonna stop before i write any more lmao (and ive just decided to write a whole actual fanfic about this so prepare urselves)

last thing im gonna talk about is their weapons cus i like what i came up with :]

I couldn't find a name for the weapon name, but it’s basically a giant deerhorn knife,,, like a batleth? yeah its like a reverse batleth :D so ingo and emmet each have a batleth, and when they fuse, their weapon becomes Giant frisbee saw of death

and thats what ive come up with so far! :D feel free to ask questions or suggest things for this au!!!!! pls!!! i read all ur tags!!!!

[quillkiller]

bellatrix pls xx

(ask game)

mwah thank u claude <3

favorite thing about them

i always tend to be the most compelled by oldest sibling-characters and that’s one of my favorite things about bellatrix aswell.. like her undying loyalty to family and especially her sisters, even if the loyalty is flawed and unhealthy, is very deeply special to me. i read a post lately about how bellatrix never used violence against her own family even if her family ended up using it against her. even after azkaban, after years of torture and dementors, she never layed a hand on. she always prioritized her family, despite it being in fucked up and harmful ways .. makes me Sick

least favorite thing about them

honestly maybe nothing ?? i think she’s one of the most interesting female characters in the hp series. she marries but never had children and ended up more powerful and demanding more respect than her husband ever did. she was voldys right hand man, despite being a woman .. she wasn’t heir to anything at all but becomes the most feared black family member of all ?? i think thats very interesting. i suppose i could be boring and say that my least favorite thing is that shes a ’death eater’ but that would be a lie :/

favorite line

"You need to mean them, Potter! You need to really want to cause pain - to enjoy it - righteous anger won't hurt me for long - I'll show you how it is done, shall I? I'll give you a lesson—” <- cunty

brotp

bella & sirius but in like a really fucked up way. in a sirius was bellas favorite cousin way and she hates him more than anything and sirius misses bella because he knew her before her name caused fear to whoever spoke it. they would play quidditch together and play fight and bella was his cool older cousin and sirius was the heir who looked up to her.. they absolutely excluded their other siblings during holiday festivites or whatever and teamed up. i Think

otp

quillkiller <3

notp

any ship with a man. bella is a lesbian to me 🤍

random hc

i think she’s kinda.. gross ? i dont think she brushes her teeth regularly and often gets knots in her hair because she doesnt like brushing it. she was the kind of teenage girl who hated her ’evolving’ body and puberty and how men started looking at her differently and how she became a ’girl’ against her own will

unpopular opinion

young bellatrix was just a pretty normal teenage girl. like yeah she was prejudiced and narrow-minded, but i really believe she was just a teenage girl who loved her sisters and laughed a lot. i dont even tend to think she was that against andys relationship with ted at first and the coin really flipped when she understood that andy was going to choose him. to bella their relationship was just a fling, bella had them too, and then when it really came down to it they would fulfill their duties and do whats expected of them. sort of hogwarts being their rumspringa shdhfjsjf if that makes sense ? <- people tend to think bella was just born crazy or evil as if it isnt in the canonical text that azkaban is what deteriorated her mental state. like yeah she wasnt a good person before that, but she was also. a person. who made those choices and had to live with them and committ to them. i dont think she just Chose to submit to voldy without second thoughts. she wanted to and she was going to do it, but she had sisters she loved and has been hurt in her life and theres just NUANCE !!!!!!!!

song i associate with them

[fluxedbuds]

apparently y'all Are desperate enough for my Lomadia Oc so uh. hope you're in the mood for [checks notes] ~13 paragraphs, half of which is just description!

allow me to introduce Villom!

She doesn't have an actual name or in-universe nickname, I just call her Villom. Because she was originally a Villain Version of Lomadia from a sci-fi world for some comic idea I totally scrapped bc it sucked. Except for Villom!

So basically what if we put Lomadia in space and gave her every problem and no normal coping mechanisms

The base universe is Completely Impossible sci-fi space stuff, involving solar systems being relatively close together and having tons of habitable planets, with star trek 'convergent evolution' making everybody a Weird Human Basically. Part of these choices is that I. Don't actually like sci-fi lol. I don't think its bad I just can't Get Into It, so I did the lazy version. HOWEVER I do also use the fact that its extremely artificial and story-focused as part of the plot so its FINE There IS also magic, but it’s generally less used, as tech is more accessible and less complicated from a user standpoint. That doesn’t mean it isn’t powerful, if you know what to look for. Thats foreshadowing!

Compared to base Lomadia, Villom is.. very immature. She has trouble identifying and controlling emotions, she's quick to anger and holds grudges. She's also more impulsive and tends towards insults and crude jokes. She's actually pretty fun to hang out with as a result, but responsibility is a role she's crushed into, and it never truly fits. She's trying her best ok

Villom starts out her story as a young adult, training to be a pilot. She does some hero shit, but breaks so many rules in the process and gets kicked out. She’s enraged by this betrayal of what was supposed to be her life, and steals a ship to go rogue and try to pursue her dreams anyways. She doesn’t exactly know what she’s doing, though, and eventually a chase causes her to crash on an unfamiliar planet, where she meets Rythian. He’s steampunk now, don’t question it

Anyways, they end up teaming up, and form the first of her crew. Later additions are Martyn, who is a mouse guy who has So Fucking Many People Who Want Him Dead, and Zoeya! Who ended up separated from Fionn following partially the plot of Mushbury, and works as the ship’s engineer. Their ship (that lasts long enough to get a name…) is called the Ask, and Villom occasionally (and jokingly) calls her crew the Answers. (Its called the Ask because originally I gave the characters nicknames based on Norse mythology for Pretentious Reasons, those might come back later)

So everything’s all fine and poggers for a while, with the Ask’s crew causing mischief and undercutting evil empires across the worlds- and then Villom’s home planet is destroyed. And she sees it happen.

See, one of the tropes of sci-fi that bugs me, is how understated the death of an entire planet tends to go. This is the first step of Villom realizing how truly fucked up the world they live in is- and the first step of her wondering why it has to be this way, and how to stop it.

It only gets worse from here.

No matter how many evil empires they topple, no matter how many massive threats they thwart, there’s always another one. And no matter how fast they are, they can’t stop every world-ending crisis. Villom starts learning magic, wondering if theres some kind of solution there. When she doesn’t find one, she just looks harder. Brushing so close with forces she’s alone in experiencing wears on her, compounding with their futile mission.

The breaking point is when Rythian dies. Raiding an enemy ship goes wrong, they’re outnumbered, they’re trying to retreat. Surrenders are not accepted, there.

It’s another thing she sees happen, another thing she was inches away from but unable to stop. And she can’t take it. She can’t take losing another part of her, another of the few things she could call home in this cold void.

She takes some of the things she learned looking where she shouldn’t- and kills the nearest member of the enemy team, trading a life for a life. And part of her soul as tax, of course. Just a small bit, this time. She never tells him. Pretends it was instead an incredibly close call. He probably knows she’s lying, on some level, but he never says it.

Villom is desperate, now. There’s more and more things she’s hiding from her crew, more and more boundaries of safety she’s pushing. She trades one of her eyes for the ability to see the functions of the world itself- maybe it’s a mistake, there’s some gear stuck, and if she fixes it this infinite loop of wars will stop.

There is no mistake. This is how the universe is intended to function.

She can’t give up. Because if she stops, she’s never going to get up again.

Maybe there’s other worlds where it’s better, where it’s safe. Maybe there’s a way to make this world like them.

Maybe there’s a way to leave.

She’s barely human anymore, even though she looks perfectly fine. Her hair is white, her eye replaced, but that’s all. She’s replaced the things she’s traded away. She’s barely even a part of the world, anymore. Unstuck from the threads of it, floating as a constant point, unchanging and undying, snapping back into place when moved.

A lot of universes are visited by a strange woman with white hair, who never stays. Sometimes she’s a savior, or a tyrant, or merely another passerby.

One of them, somewhere, has to have an answer. The way to break the cycle. And Villom will find it- even if she has to take every one of them apart.