#iutmtm

[fernlessbastard]

A piece based on the FIRST CHAPTER OF MY NEW FIC - "IT'S US THAT MADE THIS MESS" - WHICH JUST CAME OUT LET'S GOOOOOO

[octobre-ackedia]

Since It's us that made this mess chapter 3 is finally out

Here's my little comic of it

it doesn't spoil anything, it's just a really funny moment I really needed to have visualised, and it's not even realistic (that's not how panic buttons work guys fyi)

I hope you enjoy cuz as much as it's a mess, I find it utterly hilarious, and that was the point

[maskedbutsilly]

what are we now?

some sketches of @fernlessbastard’s fic, its us that made this mess, newest chap !!1! yahoooo i lobe lobe the fic so mucj i wanna sit and stare and study rhe writing style but alas i keep bouncing n giggling around everytime i read it :))

also this has been in my procreate for WEEKS sory had to push this aisde bc of real life eurghfb

excited to see where the fic is goingg :33

vvv thumbnails i drew for composition bc this was HARD

bais !

[fernlessbastard]

I'd say it peeves him at times but then privately to himself he has to admit that he does enjoy it quite a bit. It's not that he doesn't feel safe by himself, or that Wilbur provides much safety. He's also perfectly capable of reaching anything he could need, maybe with a little bit of effort sometimes, but hey, you learn to adapt over the years, so it's fine. He doesn't need or want someone to protect him or baby him - god knows he's been seen as weak more than'd be enough for a thousand people. He's a capable, strong man, who finally has power instead of constant dismissals and he enjoys that change - it feels right and comfortable and safe. And that part isn't changing.

But, well, to himself he does have to admit that being able to just sink into a hug, face against the man's chest, wrapped by the spacious coat feels pretty damn perfect when he needs rest...

And having Wilbur there to just hand him something sure is convenient...

And being able to comfortably lean fully against him when standing somewhere and waiting for something sure is nice and more comfortable than having to stand straight or shifting all the time...

And when he does need comfort, it is pretty nice to be able to disappear practically entirely...

And, well, the bit oversized jumper is kinda comfy to wear around the house...

And the way he can feel Wilbur melt, weight leaning nearly entirely on Quackity whenever Q pulls him down certainly is adorable, and the way his knees bend all by themselves is only visible so nicely because of the height difference, which is altogether much better than making him look up...

And seeing how his body contorts more than it would otherwise definitely isn't not pretty to look at....

TLDR. We might all agree that Quackity isn't the one wanting head pats or needing someone to protect him* or the one getting pinned against the wall, BUT ultimately Quackity is into men, and I think most people who are into men will inevitably enjoy their partner being traditionally masculine, at least sometimes

* I'm not infantalising Wilbur, his body is just rotten and all he's got going for him is scary dog looks cause one good punch could probably break his bones/hj/lh

*consider this could include that he likes breaking down somebody physically larger than himself

[fernlessbastard]

Basically a summary of it's us that made this mess (especially the first chapters which are Q POV) tbh

[octobre-ackedia]

it's us that made this mess chapter 4 spoilers be like

watch it and you'll understand if you care enough if you don't still watch it it's Danny and Kurtis it can't get better

[fernlessbastard]

GUYS CHAPTER 2 OF IT'S US THAT MADE THIS MESS IS OUT, GO GO GO (oh but it's nsfw just fyi - i mean the whole work is but ch1 wasn't really so just heads up that this one is)

I gotta make a nice watercolour based on this, but I haven't had the time just yet so it'll come later

[fernlessbastard]

CHAPTER 3 IS OUT EVERYBODY

And this time THERE'S A HILARIOUS BONUS ADDITION FROM @octobre-ackedia AT THE END

[fernlessbastard]

bro I just read chapter two of your fic and I-

Pffffffffffffttt listen, "It's us that made this mess" is tagged the way it's tagged for a reason ok--

All I can say is that they're gay lmao

Anyway, glad you enjoyed it :]

[octobre-ackedia]

So you guys know I'm beta reading It's us that made this mess , right?

And you know what privileges it gives me, guys?

Guys???

It gives me trauma.

TRAUMA.

The ending of chapter 2 is gonna break all of you.

AND IT'S BARELY CHAPTER 2, @fernlessbastard GET THE PSYCHIATRIC ATTENTION YOU'VE BEEN NEEDING FOR A WHILE

[fernlessbastard]

I've been following this blog for well over a year and had definitely heard you talk about "Losing Face" before, but just today, it sunk in that youre the writer of one of my favorite fics. I genuinely had no idea that the fic I loved was written by you until today when I was browsing my A03 bookmarks for the first time in ages.

Anyways, you're a lovely writer and a lovely artist. Always a pleasure to see you on my dash. Have a lovely day/night!

LMAOOOO that's funny

Yeah no I'm the author of that cluster-fuck-of-a-writing-process fic, glad you enjoyed the demo version, and I hope the actually planned out version is even better :]]]]

[fernlessbastard]

Just wanted to say I really enjoyed the first chapter of your new fic!

Thank youuu I appreciate it a lot<3

Honestly any comment/ask/post/even bookmark on/about my fic is just. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA. /EXTREMELYPOS

I'm just

Dead

/insanely pos

Y'know?

So thank you, anon, I appreciate it a lot ;-;

[fernlessbastard]

when you realize you have free will

*clicks on chapter 2*

LET'S GOOOOOOO lmao hope you enjoy, mate (here's the customary link to "it's us that made this mess" which I shove into all my related posts)

[fernlessbastard]

hello fern i just wanted to say ch2 of your fic appears on ao3 as being published on may 1 instead of today. that also happened to me before when i left the tab for the new chapter open and forgot to change the publishing date several days after when i actually published it. the fic didn't appear along with the other recently updated fics in the quackbur tag so i got a LOT less views as a result and ended up having to republish it with the new date. not saying you have to do that but just letting you know for the future!

Oh, thank you! I fixed it now, I'll pay more attention to that in the future.

And yeah, no, I put my chapters into ao3 drafts for my final proofreadings, so that all the formatting tags disappear, and I guess that just shows that yeah, I had this chapter ready for a while, just couldn't find the time for the final edits lmao

ANYWAY YEAH NO CHAPTER 2 ("I THINK I WANNA BE MORE THAN FRIENDS") OF "IT'S US THAT MADE THIS MESS" JUST CAME OUT GO CHECK IT OUT

[fernlessbastard]

Oh man, I'm excited! Writing is definitely a pain in the ass (I've taken many years of novels, creative writing, debate, etcetera). Your story is incredibly enthralling and so accurate in regards to characters, I'm surprised anyone would find anything (such as repetition of certain words) bothersome.

Nonetheless, I do understand wanting it to be perfect and I hope reading/proofing over it goes well for you two. ❤️

-🎲 anon

Thank you so muchh

And don't worry, it's not that my boyfriend finds it bothersome and such - it just knows that I'm an insane perfectionist about my writing, and if I later find some repetition or a wonky sentence I will proclaim that I've brought dishonour to writing as an art form and I'll never write again (I'm a little bit dramatic like that UwU--) (also I'd definitely end up writing again, it'd just take like a long time and I'd rather finish IUTMTM before the death of the universe/lh)

To be fair it is in a decent part that perfectionism that lets me write the way I do. Like, yes, writing badly is much better than not writing, and I do my best to live by that, but editing is a different issue - I've had at least 7 drafts of chapter 2 as of now (and I only change the draft when I decide there's a big part I want to rewrite from scratch)(I actually could post like the first draft here - that could be interesting, idk, I'll maybe consider it)

But yeah, I will slave over a draft until I've squeezed everything I humanly could out of it, in which case either I think it's actually genuinely good and I enjoy reading it (and I'm very critical of my work), or until I decide it's hopeless, and just simply rewrite it completely from scratch, either keeping only specific passages, the general idea, or sometimes nothing at all

Tbh I think it's got to do with the fact that it's not a medium that's "native" to me, so to speak. Losing Face was my first actual piece of writing, with my previous "attempts" (mostly stories for school) consisting of like, much less than a thousand word each. I started writing a dnf/xdnf smut after my bf dared me to, which got abandoned at 2k words (I low-key wanna post that at some point too as a little crack one-shot, but i'd have to decide if I want it to be an actual piece of writing, in which case I'd have to finish it, or if I just want it to be a "look, this is where I started" kind of thing). I was praised for my art, so I gravitated towards that, and the more I did, the more embarrassed and ashamed I felt of my unrealised "affair" with writing. I'd write elaborate descriptions of headcanons and scenarios, fishing for compliments to have an excuse to actually write something. I don't remember how I started truly writing, but it absolutely had to do with the support I always get from my partner. And oh god, how I adore writing. I've always loved telling a story, but what truly makes me obsessed with it is playing with language itself. I love painting mental pictures. I love elaborate metaphors. I love portraying ugliness in a raw way that paradoxically makes it strangely beautiful. I love the words that don't just express their message through literal meaning, but also through how they visually look, how they sound, what core and pre-/inter-/suffix they have, how many syllables they have (my favourite go-to example is in Will Wood's "Front Street" - "the gnashing teeth will masticate the bones from the flesh"); I love using those words to juxtapose feelings (such as describing something as both raw and ugly, and yet beautiful exactly because of that). I love portraying ugliness in a raw way that paradoxically makes it strangely beautiful. I love playing with rhythm and momentum and run-on sentences, I love playing with formatting, to make the text flow on the page, I love using subtle sarcasm and making fun of the characters and their flawed logic through a flat narrating tone, and I love sprinkling characters' unreliable, subjective thoughts with nothing to distinct them from the rest of the text aside italics (I think it's much more immersive, adds to a "pov" lets the narrative evolve with the way characters think, and allows for a better flow of the text that ""(...)" he thought"). I love having a narrator with that subtle sass where the "insults" are indirect. When I write, I have several tabs open with thesauruses and dictionaries, not because I don't know the words I use (I make sure to keep my language authentic and to not overuse complex words just because - they all have a purpose, and 99,99% of the words I look up I already know), but because if I look up synonyms/translations then I have all the possible words in front of me and I can compare exactly how they look and sound (I'm heavily visual, ironically enough). I love pulling from more common Polish metaphors/sayings to form a more elaborate, non-obvious sentence/metaphor in English, and I love using translating as a tool to look for synonyms/replacements that maybe aren't an obvious alternative. I love writing scenes that feel genuine and real, and including the "ugly", human parts. I love writing flawed characters, I love describing their inner worlds, I love writing their streams of consciousness - I love turning them into real people (to the best of my abilities).

I love writing for the process. And it's funny, cause I don't exactly have that with art always. I'll be honest - I don't always love sketching and doodling. I do love watercolours. I'm sure it's honestly visible in how I paint, but playing with colours, layering, shading, shapes, undertones, etc is just my favourite thing in the world. But doodling by itself? Heavily depends, and a good portion of the time I just want to see the doodle ready, or to skip to watercolours, if I'm painting (although recently I've been getting better at just enjoying the process). But writing? Sure, sometimes I just want it over with, but the only reason why I'm able to go through all the drafts and countless edits is because just like with watercolours, I simply love the process of perfecting it, even if it gets frustrating.

TLDR I absolutely adore writing as an art form, holy shit it's literally so cool and language is even cooler and just

Writing<333

OH also btw I have since checked my document, and I misremembered - chapter 2 is 8k words--

[fernlessbastard]

Just thought I'd send you some positivity and thoughts, after reading your stories. (They were just wonderful, by the way).

I love the way you depicted Wilbur. A man who has longed for physical touch, attention, and (honestly) Quackity, for thirteen years. God the way you depict him is absolutely splendid. I couldn't have done it better!

Making him desperately beg for Quackity's time because even though he's a prick who wants nothing more than to be on top, he also lacks that attention that only Quackity can give him.

Versus Quackity who is stand offish. Had only ever been hurt physically. It takes him awhile to let Wilbur touch him, to open his walls and allow them to break down enough for Wilbur to slip inside of that crack. It's so gorgeous.

I love them so much, and you are such an awesome writer I hope to read more by you. [:

-🎲 anon

;-; thank you so muchhhh you made my entire week with this

I was planning to post chapter 2 over the weekend but I didn't have enough time to edit and all that, so instead I'll try to post it this week between Wednesday and Sunday

It's actually so frustrating, cause it's literally basically ready. I edited it thoroughly already, and had it beta read, but then during that I had it pointed out that I overused/repeated like three or four words (it's over 7k words so unfortunately unintentional repetition is easy) so I had to decide where to keep them and where and with what to replace them. So now I could honestly post it already, but I just have to make sure the changes don't impact the flow, so I need to find the time for both myself and my partner (who's my beta reader) to separately read it quickly in one go

Like I wish so hard I wasn't such a perfectionist cause it's genuinely ready to get posted and the likelihood that something's still even slightly wrong is tiny, but noooo, I still gotta perfect it to my very last breath or something

Anyway I'm not trying to justify myself (I know you're all great and respectful, guys, dw), but I'm more so just kinda venting cause it's an irritating situation

I just want to post it for you already ok I'm excited to read your comments and asks and all of that - reading your thoughts (whatever they may be, even more negative) always a highlight of my whole month (just, having people engage with my art✨✨✨)

Oh also just as a last little note: if you think I've already portrayed Quackity as a hurt, traumatised man, then you're not ready for the rest of IUTMTM--(/lh/aff/pos) Let me tell you they both need therapy bad and the worst kind of miscommunication is misplaced trauma response responded to with another trauma response-- There will be pain