#cause of The CPTSD

[flawlessflesh]

▒ SHAME ▒

read left to right! set a few weeks after farhang got cecil, who is still struggling with both new and old circumstances.

[adustoflove]

No one understands guilt better than a girl with emotionally immature parents

[furiousgoldfish]

I've managed to fight my way out of many beliefs my parents instilled in me, but the 'I have to do everything alone and independently and if I fail then I don't deserve to survive' is not going anywhere.

[foursaints]

it’s my birthday today 🎂🍧

[ghostgoing]

Thought: The Fenton Kids Have CPTSD

One of the causes of CPTSD is being in a situation where you felt unsafe for extended periods of time. For example, living in a house with bad lab safety and food that attacks you. Danny also has the additional factor of Vlad.

sometimes, when you���re a person with CPTSD, you don’t want to get until the full story of what happened. Hence, when one of the kids is telling one of the batkids about their experience, they just say “my parents had an unsecure lab in the basement of our house, and it made things kind of stressful, but they’re doing better“

Does they’re doing better mean they’re dead? Or maybe they’re in jail? Or did they *clutches pearl necklace* learn lab safety?

not really noticing the batkid’s horror, the Fenton kid continues “Anyway, that’s why I’m super stressed all the time, because one of the symptoms of CPTSD is feeling like you’re in danger all the time“

Cue batkid internally freaking out being like “oh my God we all have CPTSD?“

The answer is yes, by the way.

Luckily, Danny happens to know a great psychologist…

[takemetodragonstone]

“i feel like i’m faking my disorder until i remember i’m experiencing symptoms alone in my room where there’s no one to be faking for” …you mean you guys don’t have an imaginary audience that lives in your head and likes to make judgmental commentary??

[chewchuck]

the freakzone has already seen this but my sister and her bf started dunmeshi anime and im having fun with it

[virtualhell]

I don’t like the everyone thinks they have autism these days narrative when it’s common knowledge women are severely under diagnosed and bpd is often over diagnosed

[qoldenskies]

I was reading back through caged lungs and I realized just how many times Donnie got hit in the head during the last fight and how hard, no wonder Leo is concerned about brain damage.

Also, when Donnie goes to see April at the end of chapter 2, is he just dissociating really hard or is that an actual physical symptom from the…everything really!

not to mention the oxygen deprivation with raph throttling him! the last fight is so visceral and nasty and it was the final nail in the coffin when it came to donnie's issues physically and mentally, because although he would have been terrified of them regardless i dont think it wouldve been "inconsolable screaming heap at the sound of raph's voice" like it was in the early bit of CW.

and id mark that as dissociation personally. the second he registered as being in relative safety he kind of shut down because he wasn't able to process it, which had kind of been a running coping mechanism through the last month or so of CL. MIND YOU: IT IS NOT HELPED ALONG BY THE BRAIN FOG CAUSED BY HIS TIME IN ISOLATION, its a nasty concoction of problems. and also yeah physical exhaustion definitely doesnt help! he ran all the way to april's apartment while actively starving, after all.

although itll get better after [REDACTED PLOT THREAD] is handled, i think dissociation is gonna be something donnie will be dealing with for years, because spending four days in a quiet, enclosed dark space has some extremely messed up consequences for your brain and body. it was also in general something he used to cope under the abuse, so i could see him having issues with it when he's not in his right mind (sick or sleep-deprived, for example), i could see him regressing back to that old mindset when something like that happens. his perception of reality is permanently a little fucked :(

[artinvain]

did anyone else unlock a majorly traumatic event from their childhood this holiday or???

[osddid-i-do-that]

Me for the last idk MY WHOLE LIFE: I usually need a lot of reassurance that people don’t hate me and I haven’t fucked everything up, but it’s hard to believe that reassurance so I just keep asking and then I’m pretty sure people are annoyed with me and I have to ask about THAT x100 and then I emotionally collapse when it feels like I keep fucking up and can’t stop and I feel so guilty I could die but yeah other than that I’m good.

Therapist: Yeah maybe fill out this OCD questionnaire …

Me:

[newtknewit]

cptsd?? nightmares?? pshhh whats that?? *hugging my cinderkin hunter cuddle buddy pillow closer* (i havent even ordered it yet)

aint this the most NON nightmare-inducing thing you ever seen??? he will protect me. he will protect me from my dad. just like he protected everyone from belos.

(btw if anyone wants the full release of the images to print on the front and back of a pillow let me know and I'll post it. I doubt anyone will but just in case!! who knows who might want this lil guy to stare at them while they sleep.) /silly

[daffythefox]

Feeling a bit of a human connection and oversharing about yourself, about your trauma, about your deepest secrets and fears, just for the slimmest chance of feeling genuinely connected to someone, only to come away from it feeling hollow.

Because to you, you might as well have been telling them a story from some novel. Even now, after you've told them everything you can think of that might let them in on who you are, it's still not enough. The problem was never the being known. You aren't able to build those bridges in the first place. You got burned so badly your body took away the ability for you to do so. So you just have to watch your relationships from a distance, safe but just so far away.

You finally work up the nerve to touch your friend, to hug them, and you phase right through them. And while you're stunned, trying desperately to do anything to make contact, the other person looks down at you and says "it's so nice to finally be able to hug you like this". And you want it to happen so bad, you pretend like it's happening, but you have to wrap your mind around the fact that you felt nothing.

And you're terrified you'll never be able to.

[system-of-a-feather]

C-PTSD Question of the Day

When you were younger, your most childish child self, what was the COOLEST thing in the world? Follow up question, within the resources you have right now, whats a cool way you can participate and engage that super cool thing in your present adult life?

Like Dinosaurs? Grab a book, relearn all the names and find someone to dump it on. Find all the documentaries, look into museums and archeological stuff. Space? Museums, literature, microscopes, documentaries, hell star gazing. Racing? Hotwheels? Monster Trucks? Look up the closest nearest event and check it out, maybe learn about cars.

Engage in the fun things your child self would have been amazed and jealous to see you be able to do

Do something your child self would gasp and idolize, even if its stupid. Become the person your child self would have wanted to follow around and talk to constantly, find the stupidest most childish thing to be engaged in and just have fun with it

Feel free to actually reblog and share. I'd love to hear what yall thought were uber cool and any ideas to unapologetically engage and enjoy those uber cool childhood interests.

[jonesypiercedme]

When is your earliest memory? What does it contain?

Was it scary? Humiliating? Weird? Unimportant? Were you maybe 3, or possibly younger? Does no one believe you actually remember this, because children can't remember anything? Do you havean earliest memory you can recall right now, tied to the intense emotions of a child without

Please, keep reading mine, below, and share another's and donate to them so they won't have to live through the worst pain imaginable, because the pain was unimaginable and no one believed it hurt me because of how young I was. I was supposed to forget, and I didn't, so please don't forget what happened to me and another child. People can only handle feeling and being forgotten for so long.

https://gofund.me/6def755e

I am too scared to look up what happened to me, and my parents were so scared that every time they remember it's like their hearts skip three beats and their mind has to go through a whirlwind of visions to find the right answer. It's always been like that for me, because it happened.

My earliest memory is being held down on a cold table in a bright, derelict, sterile room with ugly wooden cabinets, led lights, a man in a lab coat looking stressed and worried as I screamed and thrashed in agony, and no one did anything to stop it; my dad was to the left with. They held me down on that table and I thought they were the ones hurting me. It was horrible, I had no answers, and I could have never reckoned with those questions at such a young age. My dad's eyes were wide, with giant glasses and longer hair, and I remember the terror and tiny hope in his eyes while I was screaming and thrashing and he did not move to help me, because he couldn't for fear of me choking. I didn't understand, I was barely 3 years old, maybe a bit younger. When I ask my parents, they barely remember, and my dad can only remember being so afraid when I was in pain he nearly blacked out.

I would have died if they did not do this to me.

But if I hadn't seen the desperate hope and fear in their eyes, my body would have never forgotten what happened to me. I have been going through ketoneuria from stress and trauma, and keep getting kidney stones! And my even more actively traumatizing medical issues happened not long after! But that hope and fear gave me just enough hope to keep trying. That love and recognition saves lives. I had a possible heart attack, going into ketoacidosis from trauma and stress and drugs to cope with the physical pain of shame and trauma, and that love and visions I saw of that hope with my cats' hopeful eyes saved my life. Because I wanted to live pain free with them. Even if it didn't work, I didn't deserve the pain.

If this didn't happen to you, I am eternally grateful, there are some medical conditions I experienced that healed themselves but I was never able to heal from. Please, God or Gods or none as I don't usually pray, give them and any other sick child you see a chance.

I just saw this happening to a child with the same tubes I needed as an infant when I was born with a hole in my heart. It's healed now though, so I would like everyone with whole hearts to act like it and show love to them so you can feel it again!!! Or else I am putting Poseidon's curse on you (the experience of vomiting and expelling water in ketoneuria, IDK why it happened, but it felt like a curse Poseidon could do) to care and read and share these two stories and your own.

Please keep reading below, this link, and sharing.

It's okay if you can't help right now, but you know how important it is to be seen. Yousef Alhabeel does not deserve to have his pain forgotten like mine was. I nearly died last month at age 24 because of trauma that happened to me as a CHILD. Because of medical trauma.

Youssef Al-Habeel (@youseffamily) has survived over a year of a hell collective humanity is struggling to reckon with. He is in a makeshift tent as bombs fall and children and people fall to disease and suffering, even as they have hope to escape. He has to beg for the chance to have food, and while we know who is at fault for this, people need to take collective action to prevent the innocent from suffering even further. Apathy only lets this continue, but pain and pain/shame relief make you able to do this.

Majd is doing all of this while suffering through what happened to me above, every second.

Please reckon with that, please recognize the sliver of pain I am able to show you and connect it to your own, and especially to Majd. He is going through that pain right now, and it is the pain that has made me so afraid of sleeping I have had extreme somno and hydrophobia my whole life. I don't know his respiratory illness, I only know the fear of being unable to breathe on your own.

I don't think I have ever had COVID because if I did when I was sick, it didn't compare at all to this. Perhaps if you have suffered due to another respiratory illness like COVID, you can show sympathy and compassion. I don't want you to relive the pain as you already know it, but you know how horrifying the choking and pain is. How scary it is to watch someone gasp for breath, adult child or animal.