#cause i feel like its such a waste
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Advice from experience: Be VERY careful on spending money on games, especially if what you're spending money on is like, limited events and shit.
Once you're in, you're IN and it's very, very hard to get out of mostly because of guilt and not wanting to put down stuff you've spent hours grinding for.
#alt rambles#rants in tags#recently started putting down and breaking off of a game that i've been grinding on for two years#and realised how much more time i have on my hands#and how much less draining my daily life is#and that i have more energy and time to do stuff instead of spending 2-3 hours every day to grind on the game#yea i spent 2-3 sometimes 4 hours per day just playing this game on a daily basis for the last 2 years#because i spent money and a shit load of time and effort in it#so putting it down genuinely makes me feel a lot of guilt#cause i feel like its such a waste#but like idk#i got really frustrated the other day and so burned out i gave myself a few days break and hoenstly im doing so much better than before#and i actually have time to do other stuff and do more art that now im starting to like#not want to go back to playing the game anymore#lmao yea if you know me you know what game im talking about#i mean i still love the game but damn was it fucking predatory and its only gotten worse thanks to new updates imo#it was fun before and now its just endless grinding#anyways#its another reason why i dont wanna pick up playing genshit even though i really want to#cause i finally got scara (thanks friend who logs in sometimes)#cause like i know genshit will also do that to me smh#anyways idk its just been on my mind lately about how i have unhealthy relationships with a lot of video games#i think im just going to stick to games like sdv and sr that don't have event after event#so thta i can go for breaks without feeling bad or like im missing out
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I think that if you’re going to leave a fic open ended (esp if it’s long) you can mark it complete but it is your civic duty to label it open ended in the tags… or literally anywhere, in the summary, in the notes, idc about spoiling your story this is fanfic spoiling is the name of the game but fr fanfic etiquette dictates you should warn for that
— an opinion from a scorned open ended fic reader
#if i wanted an open ending i’d watch an art house indie film#sorry sorry got bitter there for a moment#but seriously i hate most open ended things bc it feels cheap#like you cheated your audience out of a real ending#i’m not gonna complain on an authors fic bc that’s rude but man i wish they had warned that it was gonna be pseudo incomplete#cause i just wasted hours on this fic#my bad tho bc i had issues with it from the start but it had me hooked on its potential#txt
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Yall, its time to ramble about visual/environmental storytelling cause this is silly article is driving me insane.
I won't argue for if the game should have had more constant and involved cutscenes like Robobot or Star Allies, but what I will say is that this game is VERY rich in story through the world design. The Forgotten Land as opposed to say the Land of the Sky in TD or the entire galaxy of Star Allies is like, DROWNING in writing and narrative. It builds so much mystery and intrigue through the theming of every world and even individual levels, with exploring both how the people of the land originally lived and how it's being reclaimed by nature and the animals.
I think the closest things maybe is Robobot and Halcandra in RTDL, the former having great little designs that key you into WHAT Haltmann is doing and what makes it so toxic. Halcandra though is the ultimate grand-daddy, the contrast between it and the Lor, and Egg Engines and Dangerous Dinner is full of theming and clues about the nature and history of the planet. AND THAT IS STORY, THAT IS WRITING! Especially when compared to say Star Allies, where most of the levels of the levels are just ye average Kirby themed fluff with little to say about the Jamba or the state they've left the galaxy in. But when you play through the casino levels of Robobot, as well as delightful theming and level design, you see that Haltmann is erecting literally the most predatory entertainment centers imaginable. When you step off the sleek futuristic Lor into the scrapyards and wastes of Halcandra, you get fun intimidating final worlds, and a good grasp on *why* the people who made the Lor aren't around anymore, and may even start questioning why Magolor made such a great fuss of dragging you to this horrible place. Music is also deeply important to this storytelling. Each of the factories/towers erected in ever world of Robobot's theme is a remix usually of themes related to older mechanical levels, subtly clueing you into where Haltmann go their technology from. Outside the Lor rather than the comfortable motif of Green Greens is this almost comically suspicious and disoriented theme once you're stuck on Halcandra and returning to Magolor with more doubts about his words. The final level inside of the volcano house a theme that is teasing the twist to come, and the theme for fighting Landia before the big reveal is less triumphant, and more majestic and pensive. Possibly trying to evoke more hesitance than confidence, even if most people wouldn't catch on to that on a first run.
But the cooler thing, is that while Robobot has this cool theming at key levels, and RtDL does at the end, this type of shit is pervasive ALL throughout Forgotten Land. Every world and nearly every level is a unique, well thought-out set piece! You get to see abandoned towns, cities, malls, stores, factories, resorts, and an amusement park, each which serves as more than just a fun location, but a clear picture of the world and the state its in. This intent is made clearer through the music and tone that goes out of its way to not highlight the destruction of these areas but their beauty, wonder, and mystery through the eyes of an clueless animals and our favorite pink alien. The abandoned Alivel Malls theme is a track as upbeat and peppy as what must've played over it's speakers in it's hayday, because the hustle and bustle breathed back into it by the animals and Kirby just exploring this mysterious complex is just as lively. The theme of the Everbay Coast is peaceful and sunny despite the Holine ruins because it's as part of the scenery to the animals and Kirby as the picturesque palms and sands. And Wondaria!!!!!!!!! OMG WONDARIA WHERE TO EVEN BEGIN WITH EVERY FUCKING LEVEL AND THEME IN WONDARIA!!! THIS IS WHY I CAN'T TAKE THAT CLAIM SERIOUSLY - y'know when I cried at Forgotten Land? In world 3. Not because of a cutscene or a line of dialogue, but just from the sheer emotion the setting evoked in me. The sweet, laid-back, starry-eyed wonder that it expressed from Kirby mixed with my own sense of nostalgia being aware of what that place was, and how beautiful it was to see it rediscovered and adored by Kirby and the animals of the Forgotten Land. It evokes such a strong feeling of bittersweetness, of existential dread comforted by the knowledge that the simple joys and memories we create places like amusement parks to share will continue on as long as there is life in the world. And unlike some of my musings about past games, this was explicitly intentional. What truly brought the tears to my eyes was remembering an interview where the devs were explaining how they were trying to keep the tone light and Kumazaki said specifically they wanted to evoke peace and beauty rather than loss.
LIKE THIS IS WRITING! This is storytelling, this is intention. It's just subtle, but not at all unimportant, and it ties into the more overarching plot. It raises the question constantly of where the people went that is answered by Forgo, and expresses the dichotomy between the simple innocence of the animals compared to the ambitions of the people who abandoned them and that is now possessing their leader. It creates stakes for Elfilis and Forgo's intentions to destroy everything so beautiful and pure about the current world, but as it absolves the current world of guilt, it puts into perspective JUST HOW LONG Forgo must have been locked away that things changed so much. And as softly as the exploits of the original people are portrayed by the game, knowing their treatment of Eliflis and Forgo as a thing of entertainment and tool for innovation is sickening placed in contrast with it. Like back to Wondaria, the way it shows how much space travel must have pervaded the imagination and escapism of the people either before or after Forgo's arrival is insanely smart. And it gives me chills in the best way seeing Kirby run around images of cartoon aliens from a civilization who would never meet him. Of Kirby, Elfilin, and Bandana sticking their head into a cardboard cutout of an astronaut meeting an alien, with the text "wish you were here" above in a script they don't even understand. A SCRIPT THE WRITERS MADE FOR THIS GAME SO THAT THEY COULD ADD MESSAGES LIKE THAT INTO THE WORLD FOR KEEN PLAYERS TO NOTICE AND MAKE CONNECTIONS. Like it's insane. The dedication the Hal Labs has to stuff like this is maddening! It's so sweet and heartfelt and crafty, I'm so pissed off how little respect it gets because people don't understand visual storytelling!!!!! Saying Forgotten Land is light on story is preposterous, it might just be one of the most finely crafted stories the series has had to date, and is just a really solid piece of science fantasy writing in general honestly. It is packed with environmental storytelling that drives me Up The Fucking Wall, Man.
#kirby#kirby and the forgotten land#katfl#elfilis#forgo#kirby lore#shut the heck up#media analysis#GRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH (i love kirby)#im in my “writing is more than text” essay warrior era#this is part of me collecting stuff for a bigger essay though :3c i just got so distracted by this take#also i started this cause i though this article was from a bigger outlet than it was#so now i feel like my intensity is unjustified but idrc cause as i said: warrior essay era#OO ALSO I MISSED TALKING ABOUT THE LATER WORLDS#THE CITY IN WINTER HORNS FEELS LIKE A BIOME THE DELAPADATED RESORTS OF WASTES ARE NOW OASES IN A DRIED UP TROPICS-#-AND THE FUCKING CITYSCAPE OF REDGAR FLOODED WITH LAVA IS LIKE ITS OWN PART OF THE MOUNTAIN ITS SO BEAUTIFUL#its a fun twist on the typical final lava world that also gets to do double duty with evil industrial looking shit ARGFDSH so cool#tag talking
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what if hyper light drifter? what then?
#rising from the fucking dead to complain AGAIN#not abt hld dont worry i love this game#but everyone on instagram is moving to cara and i made an account and all the stuff over there is like? professional level stuff#like painted fully rendered pieces and shit and like? im not gonna post my silly fanart bullshit over there?? like its so? idk#i dont wanna say unwelcoming because thats not what im trying to say but it like#i dont feel comfortable posting over there cause my stuff is so different than the stuff thats being posted and its scary??? idk#it's a very “”“adult artist”“” like “ive been perfecting my painting style for 20 years” feeling idk man#anyway i have a bunch of stuff that i just havent had the energy to post so get ready for that#o and happy pride lmao ok#rhqnk u for coming to mt tedbtakk#wasting time tryina think of a fanart tag#hyper light drifter
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lately i've become unsure on whether i want to continue playing any of hoyos games :/
#i can already see myself drop zzz & hsr soon#genshin as well probably#but ive spent so much time on that game that it'd feel like a waste; but its also just not much fun anymore#i was originally thinking of dropping it once columbina is released 'cause i really like her design & to decide then#and from what i hear thats still at least a few months away so im not sure what to do here#diary#genshin impact
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Yall ive drawn Starlo 15 times in the last 7 hours am i cooked
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#starlo#undertale#im not even joking i just counted it#i love Starlo Undertale Yellow#woahhhh ohhh ohh ohhh ohh ohhh ohh ohh story of undertale#i fell from the light talk or should i fight monster genocide this my undertale i fell through a cave on mount Ebott i faced an evil talking#floeer in a pot explains the plot wants me dead eants me to rotttt toriel saves me takes me to her home and hooks me up with a brand new#monster phone leaves me aloneee but i escape and meet some boness should i be a pacifist? or should i use my fists? im feeling evil think#ill kill them all im homocidal and ive got a taste i want to wipe out the monster race woah oh oh oh oh oh ive got no patience ive got no#resolve i will slaughter screw the dialogue i fell from the light talk or should i fight monster genocide this my undertale#ill slaughter undyne ill waste who i choose with all this exp theres no way that ill lose now watch me movee i wont stop im feelin rude#asgore is shaken he hears my approach ill slaughter sans and squash his bro like a roach charas my coachhh all these monsters i will poach#screw being a pacifist i think ill use my fists im feeling evil think ill kill them all im homocidal and ive got a taste i want to wipe out#the monster race woah oh oh oh oh ive got no patience ive got no resolve i will SLAUGHTER screw the dialogue i fell from the light talk#or should i fight monster genocide this my undertale (burnt pan toy knife use a stick to take your life tough glove ballet shoes epic fight#like from page news) king asgore wants to collect human souls seven of them its his ultimate goal open the door to humanities realm start#a new war (humans overwhelm!) im homocidal and ive got a taste i want to wipe out the monster race woah oh oh oh oh oh ive got no patience#ive got no resolve i will slaughter screw the dialogue woah oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh on an underground trail woah oh oh oh oh#oh oh oh oh oh oh oh STORY OF UNDERTALEEEE#i wrote all of that from memory#starlo moaned as skibidi toilet thrusted its 10 million inch willy into his bum causing his hip to rupture which unfortunately killed him💔
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i just wanted to play around with gpose aimlessly i dont know who all these people are-
#the screenshot equivalent of just aimlessly drawing random character designs youve never seen before#i save all designs i do in case i wanna use them#whether thats for actual developments sake#for using just for fun in private#or for the development of other already existing characters i use#only just started with posting the resulting screens cause so damn many feels like a waste#so here we go with the tag:#silvis side characters#normally id use general tags but...#actually idk why it feels wrong here#'maybe cause theyre not chars i actually use + its just a screenshot dump of several of them at once#maybe ill add later shall see
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Never ask:
A woman her age
A man his salary
Kid Rock about the song he did for the Osmosis Jones (2001) soundtrack
#osmosis jones#its one of those: “BITCH...HOW DID YOU MAKE IT PAST SECURITY?” moments#i have so many mixed feelings for this movie#animation is great#i like parts of the narrative just wish it took a different direction especially with the live action bits#also thrax is a well designed villain#and a part of me is sad his design got wasted on the film cause he stands out on his own#kid rock
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this school has changed me so much mostly for the better but one thing i have lost that i mourn is that i don't dress like i care anymore.... i used to spend time on crazy outfits and makeup for practically every seminar and everyone was like wowww youre so stylish.. now i just show up in sweatpants and socks with sandals. i've become fully assimilated into this place's disheveled-academic culture
#its cause i had so much free time before with the combination gap year and pandemic so i spent time experimenting with my style#now i feel like any time spent not doing my homework is time wasted
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i might've fucked up -.-
#idk what's wrong with me#god im so tired of being stressed all the time and im tired of it#just being fully my fault ugh why do i keep fucking up this entire uni thing#im just so stressed i freeze and i don't do the things i have to do i dont send documentation#i didnt sign up for ANY class yet because i just couldnt get myself to look at them and i think i fucked everything up and its going to#be a whole thing#idk i would just rather stay at home and do nothing but i cant so i gotta go#but i feel sick at the thought ugh#i dont feel any energy to do any assignments of even go to class already and im not even there im still at home#ughhhhhhhhhhhhh#im so tiredd i cant do this#i have to pack and i cant get myself to do it either#vent#sorry sorry sorry#i need to talk about it i cant talk to anyone here cause ill just get yelled at or something my fam doesnt get it it just makes me#feel worse ughhhh#idk if i should even go#i feel like im wasting people's time and money and my own sanity just to underachieve and feel like shit all the time but the one thing#that therapist told me was that i shouldn't drop out because it's gonna solidify my views that im constantly failing at everything so this#has been one of the main reasons im still trying idk maybe itll do something one day#but heyy if i keep at it maybe next month my uni will give me money so i can go to a psych appointment or something#tho tbh the more i think about it the worse i feel about THAT like yeah i feel like shit but i feel like if just was better and stronger an#less lazy i could do it all easily
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be honest
is my writing worth anything
#like.. does anyone actually read anything i post? does anyone at this point even know i write things?#am i as bad at it as i feel like i am? and any praise i give to myself is just a lie?#cause i dont know anymore. i feel like im just a fraud and everyone ever has just lied to me when they say they like my stuff#lbr its probably terrible#anyways just.. idk. im sad. i dont think im worth a shit with anything i do so lmao. whatever#maybe im just not a writer. just like i wasnt an artist. im just. nothing#i'd just.. like to know. is any of this worth anything? am i just wasting my time and energy and hopes and dreams with all of this?#i would just like an answer of some kind. please#night is an absolute mess on main
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Got really horribly sad outta nowhere and like idk if its cause ive just been looking kinda ugly or like cause ive been working a lot or like general vibes but im not having a fun time
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#i lost a 20 dollar bill and im still upset about it#also still kinda mad abt the other day where i thought i was honest to god being stalked at the mall#it was bad timing and misunderstanding and no one is to blame but it didnt make me feel great#im also worried abt the grade im gonna grt on an assignment and if it tanks my overall grade#i will jump from the ferris wheel at the county fair#or maybe its the constant dreams of like having a sweetheart and being cute w em and stuff and waking up and its not there#then having to go to work and make elaborte giftsets and boxes of candy and see people buying their sigfig other pounds of fancy candies#and treats and be like like wow arent u the best and like lowkey the level of customer service i have to give so lest they take my kneecaps#verges on forced method acting levels of glee and whimsy and doting#and its like yeah at the end of the day sometimes hearing about how you got ur girl a kuromi plushie and a braclete and now ur getting#literally upwards of 6 pounds of treats while i know i have 7hours to go till i can go hom3 and have my microwave carrots#that smell like dishsoap but i must eat cause im not wasting it#kinda makes me feel bad and makes the day so horribly long#and its no ones fault but like idk damn it reall is what it is#also i realized that feeling of like what tf am i missing is cause i havent been wraring my locket cause it had to get repaired#id been like going crazy being like what is it!! when i catch u ricky!! then realized oh its that#also like i was like lets look at yellowjackets merch as a treat#its so expensive#anyways.......#i have to be awake at 7:30 in the morning out of the house by 8:15#and my hair is wet cause i took a shower#so its gonna be a horrible morning and its supposed to be cold again
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I have covid what the FUCK
#I THOUGHT IT WAS JUST A LITTLE COLD#FUCK MY LIFE#IT CAME ON AND DIDNT ESCALATE SO I WAS LIKE OH COOL ILL BE DONE WITH THIS IN A FEW DAYS#AND THE BIGGEST JOKE OF IT ALL IS THAT I AM GENUINELY FEELING LIKE ITS GOING AWAY NOW#BUT THEN MY SENSE OF SMELL HAD TO START GOING ON ME AND I DECIDED TO TAKE A TEST#AND OOP! THERE IT IS!!!!!!!#NO BIRTHDAY PARTY FOR ME I GUESS#I LITERALLY NUKED BOTH MY BIRTHDAY AND MY SISTERS BIRTHDAY CAUSE WE WERE BOTH SICK BACK IN DECEMBER#AND NOW A WEEK BEFORE MY BIRTHDAY I HAVE COVIDDDDDDDDDDD#the universe is laughing cruelly at my continual sitcom-level suffering#so now my heavily pregnant sister has it and my partner probably has it too and now he's mad about it and I feel so guilty#but I literally had no reason to think it wasn't a mild cold!!! I also had literally only one test at home so I didn't want to waste it#I've been rationing those suckers out cause WHY ARE THEY SO PRICEY#WHY. WHY. ITS BEEN FIVE YEARS. WHY.
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Imalways so torn up between letting myself feel negative emotions besides anger cause I never do and being like wellllllll... it IS nearly 9 so really none of these are Real emotions so what's the point?
#gamer txt.#i think im hiding from myself again#what with my endless optimism and hope#i dont think i really beat my depression i think i mighta just covered it up really well by accident#and that the winter is not fucking helping me out here#even if i do actually have my shit sorted out which i dont but if i did then i feel like i shouldn't#im way too put together for someone with my problems at this fucking age#this is the age where i can actually like. suck ass and not being Super judged for it this is the age for making mistakes for being fucking#stupid and im wasting trying to pretend ive got everything on lock#i feel like im rushing everything#yous know i only like realised ive been masking my whole life like. this year#like Thats how hard i hide from myself! i didny even fucking realise!#but like whay the hell can i do about it now i dont ever have the opportunity to be myself#its not like i have a moment before every action where i can decide what to do its already happened and i didny have the chance to think#is 1 step forward 2 steps back meant to be like motivational in any way cause i think that might be what i go for#honestly i need to let myself make mistakes and do stupid shit and remind myself im not infallible#and the worst part about all this is that im trying so hard to not go none of these are real feelings its 9pm and winter#and knowing theres a decent chance thats actually the case#i dont want it to be the case#i dont want to the perfect quiet endless sympathy for others no attention no care required kid anymore#i want to be fucking messy because i feel like a fucking mess and everyone knows im a fucking mess and they just pretend im not#and even if all these feelings are just for right now and arent really ''real'' i know damn well ill still be upset about it in the morning#if no one reads this#because i need the attention im so fucking desperate for the attention i need someone fucking anyone to see the real me#becauese no one does! not even me most of the time!#iiii might do something stupid tonight? if i do just know please that it wasnt rash or impulsive and that ive been wanting to do it for ages#i just need to be a stupid kid for once in my fucking life
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#my father is such an entitled fucking asshole with a superiority complex sometimes#its such a small thing now but it just opened up years of repressed rage in me.#motherfucker thinks he can be passive aggressive to me like that. out here making himself feel better at my expense#and yeah of course he can. what the fuck am i gonna do to him#god im just so. fucking livid#after Years of making me feel stupid and inadequate. after i put in So Much Work into redefining my self-worth#but no he can do whatever he wants if i want to pursue academia cause he still supports me financially#and i. ghhh im just so fucking. ill see a glimpse of emotion in him and my empathy is in overdrive#so OF COURSE we have to help him with his stupid ass fucking endeavors to create a foundation or whatever.#OF COURSE i have to support him in his literal Theatrics and support his coming out and whatever. because OF COURSE#i have to support someone who is experiencing difficulty. even if that someone has done unimaginable damage to my entire psyche#(unintentionally but still)#i wish i could just tell him to fuck off and leave me out of whatever fucking bullshit he comes up with next but he thinks#we can bond over queer stuff like I wasnt the first one to come out in this family. like he could bridge over YEARS of emotional neglect no#and besides. he once called the savings my parents had for our college an “investment” that he would “hate to see wasted”#fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you#seriously. i cannot fucking believe we are related.#god. i think im gonna go cry a bit. fuck him and his entire fucking life.#delete later
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Doodle I did of my girl Juliet earlier
#keese draws#lobotomy corporation#oc art#not super happy with this but I do enjoy looking at her so I can lower my standards for her#at least I feel like I have a better idea of her general shapes now#I spent hours and hours today on the lob corp grind and I think Im Finally ready to actually move forward with they story#Ive also been thinking abt my nuggets during their lor eras and thats been fun#in particular its been fun to think abt my ogs because half of them are experiencing their crash from finally being free from lob corp hell#and the other half are like frolicking in fields and making friendship bracelets and have made peace with their past and upcoming futures#and that half is the half that are all just godawful people who do not deserve that peace and happiness while the people they actively#traumatized are just left to deal with it#this is mostly abt juliet and loki they both suck I love them sm <3#juliet is the one thats caused more active harm tho since shes that type of boss that will obsess over those she thinks have ~potential~#and once youve caught her attention you are guaranteed to have a horrible time as she will get what she wants out of you no matter what#she doesn't even work on abnormalities anymore just just breaths down ppls necks and fights when need be#loki is very similar in that regard he puts a lot of pressure on his team to provide the results he wants#hes less likely to like. directly psychologically torture those who are under him. but he still isnt a good boss.#hes also more openly rude and disrespectful towards those around him because while neither respect anyone but eachother#loki much more frequently openly states that fact to ppls faces because he feels like everyone around him is wasting his time#now loki actually does legitimately like a few other ppl he works with which is smth that cant rly be said for juliet#but hes also the one whos always on team 'lets murder the newbies for science' so y'know#ding is like his least favorite person here and its like 30% because he specifically accepted her into the info department because he#planned on getting her killed to finish off some research on a tool abno that was being worked on#but she survived the process so now she just like actually works here and he despises her despite the fact that shes rly good at her job#juliet doesn't usually send ger guys to die on purpose but if they do die she doesn't care#she simply feels that if they die early they were weak links anyways#she will still be 'nice' to newbies and to all of her coworkers for that matter but she still has quite the bad reputation regardless#some newbies do fall for her polite act but anyone whos been here for more than like a few days knows that she doesn't give a shit abt them#theyre both doing fine in lor theyre just like we may have lost everything but at least we have eachother :) (mason wants to strangle them)
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