#cause I was also awake at 2
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ok motherfuckers which one of you was up at 2 in the morning playing MH:Now on campus
I KNOW YOURE HERE MOTHERFUCKER. I DIDNT KILL THAT RAJANG MYSELF
#csumb#college#monster hunter#monster hunter now#call out post#self callout#cause I was also awake at 2#roaming the campus like a feral creature#slaughtering monsters#but SOMEONE ELSE WAS TOO
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alright. y’all just might get chapter 12 of ncty tomorrow.
#technically today cause it’s 2 am but we’re gonna freaking see!#i was gonna go to sleep and i was about to pass out but i got hit with a wave of sadness and now im wide awake#also i’m def awake now cause i just farted and burped in bed and woke up live in ex and pissed her off cause i was too loud LMAO#(yes we still sleep in the same bed)#anyway…#stayed tuned and fingers crossed#belle speaks
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so I’m realising my intense anxiety for Hilda’s third season to come out is PROBABLY an autism thing
#like. it’s been 2 years of it being the same#the fandoms been in the same place and the show has too#and now it’s gonna change and it is giving me so much anxiety#when the special interest is so intense that you feel physically ill at the thought of new content because it’s just so overwhelming#<- that’s not my usual exaggerated ‘I’m so unwell’ thing either like I have layed awake at night feeling#sick LMAO#bc of s3#which is so frustrating because I’m excited! I love this show! I want more!#but because it’s so important to me. new content is going to have a big effect on me#and I don’t want it too cries#does that make sense? no? sick#it’s either an autism thing or there’s just something wrong with me either way I’d like this feeling to go away please it isn’t fun#hilda#textpost#it’s like I just want it to come out already so I can watch it and know what’s happening cause I hate not knowing what’s going on#i need to have. my information organised#and rn I don’t#and that makes me rlly anxious lolz#like I’m anxious for season 3 in a good excited way#but also in a geniunley bad way#I wish my brain was. normal lo#l#this got more venty than I meant it to sorryblads#might delete later#I’m sad hilda is ending bc it’s over and I don’t want it to be but#also it’s weirdly comforting to know that I don’t have to go through this intense anxiety again#cause I don’t get like this with other fandoms! dr who for example I’m living new content#but for Hilda I geniunkey feel unwell#it’s the same with the idea of there ever being new ducktales content#I care so much that it’s. bad for me lol??
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i hope my last motivational post about turning my life around didnt imply that im gonna stop being a hater. i will be a hater forever, im just gonna be more nuanced and thoughtful about it now. also i developed yet another weird crush on an old man in a shitty band.
#reporting live from da hospital they gave me valium so im 🤤🤤🤤#im starving tho i got leftover pizza in my fridge that im gonna DESTROY when i get home. and maybe also make peanut butter sandwich.#i didnt get a turkey sandwich like last time i was at the hospital and im angy about it >:(#im gonna go home and binge eat and then try to pass tf out ive been awake for like 2 days now#anyways i was da goodest boy in the world despite being horrified of hospitals cause you know how much a lot of healthcare#workers are looking for any excuse to justify and commit medical abuse sadly#so i was on my best behavior#shut up judas
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Saw someone call half moon croissant of the sky and I can't keep that for myself
#Also should I be concerned that my current situationship close to real relationship has been basically ignoring me for 3 days straight now#After we had a late night phone call in which I fell asleep#It was 3am for me and she's American so for her it was like 9pm so she was still awake#But we were flirting and everything and it was cute (okay we got a backstory and we've only started writing again after a 2 year break)#And I thought we were getting back on course and now I think I messed up again#Also why am I putting this in the tags about the croissant moon#I should go to sleep#As we learnes in how I met your mother...#Nothing good happens past 2am (or was it 3am? But it's 2.42am so it doesn't matter cause same thing soon)
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It's my last day in Ireland already 🥹
#misc#it's always so short#didn't have time to do everything I wanted 😭😭😭😭#also this time had a shit night#first I had the stupid idea to drink lot of coffee yesterday#so i was hot and anxious instead of sleeping#also i was already stressing for the trip to the airport#and there was a big ass wind storm that kept me awake#apparently this did not bother everyone cause i heard some people were outside at that time????#and tonight i ain't gonna sleep#cause my bus is at like around 4am#which mean i will wake up at 2#so yeah#is it really worth it to go to sleep at all???#im gonna enjoy the last day#plus i also need to buy my mom a gift#not to worry i still have one week of holidays#i should be able to go to pays basque at least one day next week
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so. so like am i incapable of doing work unless its due in the next two hours now or what
#no more academic weapon i guess......#its not even a blorbo problem anymore its just. a problem#the agonies i cause upon myself 😭😭😭😭😭#and everyone who usually keeps me awake w doing work together also hasnt done her work and is ASLEEEP AAUUH#ok ok ik i shouldnt do work based on adrenaline and panic and axiety and the sense of doom but ?????????#like im doing work NOW but only bc its 2 am im blasting music and chewing on pencils (not good for u) and mild thoughts of dread bc its#due tmrw. whatever#kinda vent#not even vent just my horrible decisions 😭😭😭#hae talks nonsense#del later
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it’s 5am and i already know im gonna sleep my entire day away tomorrow fuckkkk
#I decided to watch 2 horror movies back to back instead of going to sleep fml#also I heard my mom walking to the bathroom and does anyone else just feel so relieved when you hear your parent footsteps go back to their#room cause like… id rather she not see im still awake at 5 am#I watched get out for the first time and holy shit why hadn’t I watched it sooner#banger movie oh my fucking god would recommend
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forgot I am wearing two different eyeshadow colors and got jumpscared by it
#omg kiera no one cares#it's cause it's the kids christmas party today so i am dressed up#but also did my makeup like 2 hours ago half awake so i forget
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I saw Jay's playthrough of Sally Face today and it made me remember how much I love this game, so I drew Sal :))!!
#seriously I just ahafgz I'm going to be so annoying about this game now I'm sorry (lying)#(everytime I say/read/etc the word seriously I read it in Ocean's voice when she's singing What The World Needs omfg)#his hair looks like that because........uhmm#cute :33 but also I just..can't draw straight hair ://#in pigtails specifically. idk why it just two ponytails so I don't know WHY I can't...#my dad is saying I HAVE to go to school or he won't pay the wifi bill uhmm apparently it 2 months behind?? uhh yeah...? oof guess I'll#fucking kms instead because if I have to be at that DAMN HIGHSCHOOL AGAIN#I am only a freshman and I already wanna bash my head into the desk#MY GYM TEACHER DIDN'T EVEN KNOW MY FUCKING NAME#AND I have to deal w/ shitty fucking allergies on top of that because my mom SUCKS and I didn't think to grad the medicine when I was#leaving yesterday morning mostly cause her BITCH ASS EX WAS THERE IN THE LIVING ROOM (that's connected to the kitchen; where the medicine#was) because she can't kick him out and she has work so she need him there anyway because free babysitting because she had this stupid#fucking kid with him 4 years ago ://#what am I talking about???#sorry for ranting babe hehe <3 back to being a silly little guy ^^!!#so my friend wants me to play D&D with her and her other friend (idk who they are?? she never told me their name)#so that's cool :)#anyway I listened to Sanity Falls again I fucking love those songs god Idk y I stopped listening to these what was wrong w/ me damn :DDD!!!#gonna queue a few post so they go up while I'm either asleep or at school#probably school cause my dad said if I'm asleep he'll beat me awake :/ so yeah...not new whatever :/#can't even complain; cause according to my parents it isn't abuse to hit you're CHILD and they had it worse so stfu and I hate you' like#WTF WAS THAT? BRO?? ughh like okay yeha I get it I've been out for a bit but like...really? has Hitting use worked EVER? no? THEN WHY ARE#THEY STILL DOING IT??........ugghhh fuck#night dude :p#omfg I ranted to much I forgot to tag#sally face#sal fisher#sally face sal
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last night i experienced the horrors again (devil voice telling me something and there was a hell vortex that i was convinced that it was how the dead ladies are getting through to our world)....such is life i suppose
#the wretched gremlin strikes again#not experiencing the horrors rn though#it was just like for a weird moment last night when i was lying awake in my bed#heard a scary voice say go in from like right behind me right in my ear#and then i looked and there was a fucked up hell vortex#and i experienced this kind of like intense fear and almost messaged gavin to tell him the devil was trying to get me to go into hell#and that i knew how the dead ladies were getting into the world#but i didn't want to wake him up cause it was like 2-3 am#so i just grabbed mikey and my snom and my turtwig and closed my eyes until it stopped#and then i eventually calmed down enough to fall asleep#i think it was like from anxiety and too much coffee because all last night i was anxious about something weird going on with my body#that isn't happening today#and also stuff with my family that's been going on for a while now that i won't get into
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What's wrong Princess?
.
#idk if I even want to talk about it#like I do but I don’t#my dad sat me down and basically said that every night that I’m out late he’s been sitting up awake cause he’s worried and can’t sleep#cause he’s scared I’m going to get pulled over and my car is going to get impounded and he won’t be able to pay for it#idk there’s so many things going through my mind#I miss my old place so fucking much…. like I had no clue it was going to be this fucking hard#I miss being able to do whatever the fuck I wanted and smoke inside or leave when I wanted and just be independent#I wish my parents understood and wasn’t completely against weed#I wish it was easier to talk to them about this and literally everything#I wish I wasn’t such a disappointment to them#I think that’s what has been getting to me the most#I just want my parents to be proud of me#right now I feel like all they think I am is an unemployed stoner who isn’t doing anything with my life#when I’m trying SO HARD#I also just loved having that time to myself#going out to the car from 9-2/3am and being able to smoke and do whatever I want#it was a chance to breathe and ya know take a second to think#but now I don’t feel like I can go out late anymore#cause I don’t want my dad to lose sleep over me and how worried he gets#I wish my life was different#I’m all over the place cause my mind is racing and I’m crying#I just want to cuddle#but since I can’t#I wanna smoke#but now I can’t#so I guess I’ll go to bed#cry myself to sleep#cause idk when the last time I went to bed before midnight#and it’s 10:30#ask
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So a typical medical professional then. Or a medicine student. Depends on wether he’s looking you straight in the eyes while chugging the can of energy drink or not.
Will solace is the kind of guy to tell you to get 8 hours of sleep, say that mental health is important, and how you should eat 3 meals a day and then pull all nighters, neglect his mental being, and forget to eat because he uses all his time to take care of other people
#i have not met greater hypocrites than people in the medical field#for clarification i too am in the medical field#i’m a great fucking hypocrite#‘you shouldn’t drink that much caffein & get more than 3h sleep & eat something other than chips’#also me: this is my 2nd can of energy & in between i drink black tea. this is day 2 of being awake & i’m starting to approach the 50h mark#food has been 2 packages of instant ramen & half a bar of 80% chocolate & whatever pens were unfotunate enough to be near me#‘yes you should definitely go see a doctor for that thing’#deals with own issues by eyeballing meds years past due & ignoring the issue & half remembered first aid#if i can’t feel the pain the i injury doesn’t exist -> goes back to reading how symptom treatment alone isn’t a long term solution#& cause treatment is needed for long term health#will solace#minor character#william andrew solace#pjo fandom#hypocrite#key rambles
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thought for a secopnd i figured out how i wanna use the aphegos lets go
#kitty being strange shipbait for ein for literally no reason? good bye.#kitty being an ancient wishing god who awakes to cause terror on the server but is befriended by ein because of their love of shinies??#i like better . king and collector coded to me#meanie can be used in better ways 2#i also dont rmember if theres other ones because i hate watchin gthe alter egos lmao#meanie im like. okay with i guess#i despise kitty. i click off the video like immediately if she shows up
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ugh ive been awake too long to still be packing
#the bin#hasnt been THAT long but ive spent almost the whole time ive been awake packing so. bleh#idk that ill get ANY sleep before the trip. its happening today so. hh.#and i still am not sure how much stuff i can being. my brain is so not in a state to be working that out rn. im tryna underestimate#but idk. its hard bc there will also be 2 tanks and 2 cat carriers in the back w me#well. hopefully its fine. but idk. i think maybe i will try to get a nap in cause my brain is sinply not working anymore#but i still have so much to do :/ i still gotta sort the pet stuff and finsih packing up every single thing so theres nothing unpacked#i still have half my clothes to pack. im struggling so much w it bc idk what to bring and what to leave or how much i can bring#but like. i need clothes to wear so. hopefully it fits. idfk. would have been relaly nice if id been given any useful measurements#whatsoever but no. hhh. oh well.#itll probs be fine. im too tired to figure this out but realistically i probably dont have time to sleep :/#maybe i could sleep for 4 hours. idk.
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For some reason today I had the need to do every possible ounce of schoolwork I can fit in a day
#raineyrambles#had us used loosely cause I still feel like I can do more#I also have planned out the next few days so I have to do nothing next week#this is probably because next week I’ll only have 2 days to do anything#so I want to get everything done as soon as possible#and also because on Mondays I’m awake enough feeling to do more than I probably will tomorrow#I get one day before the tiredness of school sets in at least 75% of the time#college stuff
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