#and that i knew how the dead ladies were getting into the world
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clowngremlin · 2 years ago
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last night i experienced the horrors again (devil voice telling me something and there was a hell vortex that i was convinced that it was how the dead ladies are getting through to our world)....such is life i suppose
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chilumi-shipper · 10 months ago
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Not Meant for the World
Kamisato Ayato x Fem!Servant!Reader
Summary: You fell for him, he fell for you, it was the typical start of a relationship, only problem is… well, he's him and you're you. A Commissioner who holds power over the nation, and a servant that basically amounts to nothing in the whole scheme of things. It was a mutual decision to keep your relationship a secret, only to be kept within the dead of night in his bedroom, evaporating before the sun could even rise for another day. But then… Ayato seems so keen keeping it a secret forever, letting the stream of wedding proposals and love letters flood in, going through great lengths to make sure the information doesn't leak out, almost like he's ashamed of being with someone like you. You could only take so much of that.
Tags: Angst no Comfort, Hidden Relationship
~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~
"You should probably go back to your quarters." As you were snuggled up to your lover's chest, enjoying his warmth under the covers of his bed, he spoke.
"But it's barely time." You whined, pressing your body closer to his and rubbing your face on his chest.
Back then, he would cave, he would chuckle and wrap his arms tighter around you, saying that you could stay for a little bit more and that he didn't really want you to leave anyway.
Now… he pulls away from your embrace, sighing as he looks you in the eye.
"It would be best to elliminate all the chances of us being caught, and I believe that some of the servants have been getting up early to start their shifts." He reasoned, his hold faltering as you feel his arms slip off you.
You felt a clenching pain in your chest as you slowly get up, looking around his room, you didn't want to leave, and yet when you looked at him, you felt like you were being pushed away.
"Okay… I guess I'll get going now…"
This is the part where he would usually kiss you and remind you that he loves you…
It never came…
You left his room without another word.
"Is it perhaps too much to visit a festival together?" You asked, not expecting a pleasurable answer from the Yashiro Commissioner sat on his office chair and drinking a cup of tea you prepared for him.
"I believe it is, being seen in public in a non-professional setting would be rather suspicious if it's just the two of us." Ayato responds firmly, oblivious to (or perhaps just ignoring) the frown that formed on your face.
"We've been out together multiple times…" You reasoned, though you sounded unsure, not wanting to sour his mood and lessen your chances of getting him to agree to your proposal. "We haven't been on a date in a while."
"The families offering up their daughters to me are very vigilant of my public movements, suspicions will arise if they were to see me with any lady for no particular reason." He did not even spare you a glance, answering swiftly as he always does.
Yet again, you fail to persuade him to be with you. You prepared to say more, but a knock came before your words.
A guest came to the estate, a father of one of the many noble ladies offering their hand in marriage.
Long story short, he's here to talk marriage business, as these fathers always do.
When the guest left for a moment, "My lord, I just need a few more minutes to talk to you." Many times, you have tried to intervene, not satisfied with how your conversation earlier abruptly ended.
"Y/N, there are matters more important than this. Wait a moment." He pays you no mind, but you have had enough. "You are being too obv-"
"Ayato, stop." You spoke firmly, freezing him in his place. "I'm still talking to you." You approached him, his back still turned to you.
Slowly, he turned around to face you, his eyes held an unfit expression for him, almost like nervousness. "Y/N, let's not do this now…"
"Do you still want to be with me?" You asked impulsively, stripping the formalities and simply talking to the man you knew as your lover. Your eyes fill with tears, looking at him being lost for words. You hoped his answer would be immediate, that he would exclaim that why would you even ask such a question.
As you stood there, "Lord Kamisato, come along, don't let the servant keep all of our time." The guest came back, standing beside Ayato, who had yet to say anything.
No words were spoken, but the Commissioner knew that right there, right in front of the unknowing guest, in your watery gaze, he had a choice to make.
"Why don't you get us some tea in the meantime?" The guest spoke up again referring to you, but you have no intention of moving until your lover finally speaks up.
With a gulp, Ayato stood his ground. "Yes, please prepare us some tea, Y/N. No more of your nonsense."
A single tear, that's what you allowed for him to see as you nodded silently. But as you prepared the tea, your vision was blurry from the neverending tears, your sobs couldn't be controlled as you struggle to catch your breath.
But you needed that, you needed that to remind yourself that you are merely a servant.
~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~
The Yashiro Commissioner sat on his bed that night, looking at the door to his room. His heart was beating fast, hoping for it to open and show the figure of his lover, though the odds are against his desires.
He hoped that maybe you'd spare him a chance, that you'd walk into the room and tell him that you'll allow him to show you how you much he truly loves you.
The door remains close. And so does his heart begin to ache. Ayato didn't sleep that night, he merely lied down and looked up at the ceiling, trying to imagine your warmth embracing him, trying to make it seem like your side of the bed wasn't left cold.
"My Lord…" His eyes looked up from the document he's been staring it for the past hour when he heard your voice… calling him in such a cold manner. You said nothing more, placing a tray of tea and pastries on an empty spot on his desk.
"Ahh, thank you…" Ayato looked at your face, hoping to see your usual smile whenever you served him his afternoon tea, yet your face held nothing but a blank expression. You merely bowed at him, before leaving without another word.
Your name was at the tip of his tongue, and his entire being screamed at him to just say it. He wanted desperately to call for your attention, but, though he did not want to admit it… he was scared…
You stopped in your tracks, remembering something that you had to discuss with him. Ayato, ever so perceptive of your actions, perked up.
"You have a meeting with the head of the Tenryou Commission later at noon, something about an agreement with regards to your relation with his daughter." You did not bother to face him to give him the reminder, opting to walk away once you finished your sentence.
The Yashiro Commissioner's face fell as he watched you leave the room, his heart still heavy, and his mind cursing at him for not having the guts to talk to you properly.
The pain felt more real once he entered his room for the night.
The place has been wiped clean of your existence, the covers have been changed so not even your scent lingered, some of the clothes you kept in his closet are gone, the vase of flowers you like to decorate his nightstand with is gone…
The framed picture of the two of you that sat on his nightstand is gone…
It felt suffocating…
With a sigh, Ayato closed the door, not wanting to see such a sad space, he instead went back to his office.
As he sat on his chair, he opened one of the drawers of his desk…
A smiled couldn't help but form on his face, a bittersweet one, when he saw the picture of you that he kept there a long time ago.
He laid his head on his arms on the desk, your picture next to his face. He figures that it was the only way he can sleep without feeling the suffocating emptiness of his room weighing upon him.
Today is the day the festival you were so excited about starts, and it's already been arranged for quite a while that today is your day-off. "…Y/N was really hoping that I'd join her at the festival." Half of
Thoma's words were muffled, but he could make out your name and the festival.
The blond retainer was asking for a day-off as well, to go with you.
Something uncomfortable boiled in Ayato's core, you asked him to join you back then, and he said that he couldn't. Yet, all he wishes now was to accompany you, to be by your side and not have to think about keeping your relationship a secret.
"With Y/N…?" Ayato asked, his voice laced with disappointment that did not escape his retainer's ears.
"Is something the matter, my Lord?"
Truly did his entire being want to disapprove of Thoma's request, he wants to go to you and offer to go with you himself.
"No, I'm quite alright, Thoma…" The Yashiro Commissioner heaved a sigh. "I'll allow your request."
You spent your day at the festival with Thoma, and it was obvious that you enjoyed it given the large smile that was plastered when you got back to the estate.
Meanwhile, Ayato spent his day at his desk, looking at meaningless paperwork while dreaming of being hand-in-hand with you at the festival, imagining that you would eat your heart out with all the streetfood available, watch the firework show when nighttime falls, and dance slowly at the festival music at midnight when everyone else already left.
That night though, he approaches you, his heart pounding when he caught your attention. "May I… ask you to sleep next to me again?"
He was tired, he could only take a week of sleeping in his office because his room haunted him too much. Unfortunately for him, he doesn't know how to even start explaining himself, doesn't know how to win you back, to say that he does choose you over any form of nobility that he has.
You smiled at him… emptily.
"I'm your servant, my lord. If you wish for me to, I will."
So you did, you slept next to him, he hugged you tightly, snuggling you up to his chest, yet you refused to hug back, to nuzzle in his embrace like you used to. You merely did as you were requested.
Ayato tried to ignore the tightening of his heart just before sleep and exhausted took over him.
But he couldn't ignore the chill he felt when he woke up hugging nothing. It's just as it should be, the servant listened to her lord, and now she left to do her other tasks.
It was crazy to hope a relationship like yours could work out. Kamisato Ayato felt a few tears fall from his eyes, now, he wished for you to stay.
~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~
Yo, it's 3am and I'm gonna sleep now.
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autistichalsin · 5 months ago
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Analysis of each character's final words in the new Dark Urge evil ending
If you are romanced to a character, you have the option, when taking the new version of the Sins of the Father ending, to kill your partner in front of the others in your party, killing them with one last kiss. They then give their last words and pass away. I love each and every one and feel they are incredible characterization moments.
So let's break these down!
Lae'zel:
I... I am glad it was you. No other blade would have sufficed.
This is something that hammers home that, Vlaakith or no, Lae'zel deeply believes in all the ideals of a Githyanki. Life is a privilege for the strong, and death is the price of weakness. Further, if romanced, Lae'zel will affectionately call you "the source of my bruises" many times. If she has to die, if she has finally found the one person stronger than herself, then she is "satisfied" that it is you- who she both loved and admired. The only one she would ever consider worthy of besting her.
Karlach:
Fuck you.
Short, simple, and to the point, just the way Karlach does everything else. She's already gone through all her stages of grief with her engine- well, almost all of them. Anger still remains. She burns hot until the end.
Wyll:
I... I forgive you.
This isn't just Wyll being a good guy. This is heartbreak, and guilt. Guilt for not saving you from Bhaal's influence when he was so sure he had. Heartbreak that after he gave his literal soul to save as many people as he could, he couldn't save you- and couldn't save others from you, either. All he sacrificed, negated in an instant by the person he loved and trusted most. Of all the characters here, Wyll (tied with Halsin) sounds the most obviously broken, and it's easy to see why, given that he is self-sacrificing to a fault.
There was a set of scenes datamined from the game, where at the Morphic Pool, the Netherbrain would have taunted the players, causing them to hallucinate things related to their fears and insecurities. Wyll's would have been a vision of himself talking about how he was never a hero, how the Blade of Frontiers was a farce all along. One can't help but think about that scene here, wondering just how much blame, bordering on self-loathing, he might feel here.
Dark Justiciar Shadowheart:
I... I'm coming to you, Lady Shar.
Another short and simple one. By becoming a Dark Justiciar, Shadowheart has fully embraced the nihilism of Shar's teachings. Why be saddened or angry at her own death when this is just what she's embraced with all her sacrifices?
(Sidenote: this does also answer a question I had, namely, what was going to happen to everyone Durge kills. Thankfully it seems they aren't actually going to be sacrificed to him as such, and will indeed end up in the realm of their deities. This makes Bhaal's plan even DUMBER, because deities in DND lore need worshippers to have enough power to exist. Killing everyone at once just guarantees that soon after Durge dies as the last person alive, so too will Bhaal fade from existence.)
Selunite Shadowheart:
I... I thought we were going to save each other...
This Shadowheart rejected everything she knew. She was scared to defy her goddess, but worked up the courage- thanks to you. She thought you would have a new life together. She believed in you. She thought she would get to return the favor, and help you turn the page on Bhaal, too.
She's not just heartbroken for herself; she's heartbroken for you, too. Heartbroken at the life you denied both her and yourself.
Gale:
You made me want to live...
From the moment the orb entered Gale's chest, he knew he was at risk of dying. Then Mystra all but marked him as a dead man walking. But despite that, he finds love with you- and for the first time thinks maybe there is a purpose for him beyond Mystra. That he isn't more useful to the world dead. More than that, he wants to live to be with you, to enjoy your company and companionship. And then you kill him, and do the one thing WORSE than what would have happened if he'd never been pulled from that rock.
It almost would have been kinder to just hack his hand off the first time you met him, though Gale may or may not agree.
Spawn Astarion:
I should have killed you when I had the chance...
The angriest, most bitter response out of all the romanced companions, a step beyond Karlach's "fuck you." This is beyond "fuck you" and even beyond "I hate you." It's "I regret every moment I spent with you." You made him believe he could have better. That he could recover from what Cazador did. You even convinced him to spare the 7,000 spawn and that he could be something better than Cazador.
And now you reveal it was all a lie. Astarion is probably thinking that you talked him out of completing the ritual solely so he'd be easier to kill right here and now. How many regrets are flashing through his mind, how many moments where he wonders if things could have been different if only he'd done this or that, even aside from killing you?
All he wanted was to live as a free person. And then the first time he thinks he has that at last, he loses it as the world ends.
Ascended Astarion:
No... no, this can't be... I can't- you can't- no...
In contrast to spawn Astarion, ascended isn't angry, because he doesn't have the clarity, the ability to process what's happening. Spawn Astarion could tell he'd been betrayed.
But Ascended? Ascended, who went through so much to become one of the most powerful beings in the world, only to STILL lose without fanfare? And by you, his own spawn who he thought he had under his control? It isn't betrayal, because he is bluescreening; he can't comprehend what happened or how or why. How could he have been killed, and by you of all people? Was all he went through killing Cazador really for nothing? How could it be when he was supposed to be the most powerful? Was power actually meaningless all along?
He doesn't say anything of substance because he can't understand what's happening here.
Halsin:
Thaniel... goodbye...
Halsin is the oldest of all the companions. He's experienced the most loss of anyone; his birth family, his fellow Druids, and, for a time, Thaniel. He has had more than enough time to contemplate his own mortality, because he's already lived multiple lifetimes.
So here, two things are happening. One, he isn't expressing anger or betrayal at his murder- because he is more than wise enough, and humble enough, to understand that there are worse things than what has been done to himself. Instead of himself, he is thinking of the world he's leaving behind that is about to fall- and most of all, of his most important person, the one who gave him a purpose, who was there when no one else was, who he failed once and only just got back. The closest thing to a child he'll ever have. In his last moments, instead of himself, Halsin is thinking of those he loves.
And second, it's an almost deliberate snubbing of Durge. He willingly walked into that kiss, knowing full well it would be the last thing he ever did. He gave you his death, he pleaded with his own god to forgive you and him both. He gave you everything he felt he owed you, and no more- no begging or sobbing. Instead, he comes as close as he ever gets to selfishness, and spends his last moments thinking about the thing that makes him the happiest- which could have been you, in another life, if you hadn't done this.
Minthara:
No... we were meant to do this together...
Heartbreak, disbelief, and betrayal. You spent so many nights planning this out. She had been cast aside by her people, her goddess, and she was going to get the last laugh. She was going to crush them personally under her heel and prove she was the best (or second best, behind you) of all of them. She's devastated she won't get to help you torture all those souls and take what she feels was owed to her. But interestingly enough... no anger. Probably because it was overshadowed by the sheer heartbreak, but also a sign that even in those moments, she still admires you for your ruthlessness.
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dixons-sunshine · 3 months ago
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A Risk | Daryl Dixon x Fem!Reader
Summary: In an attempt to hide from a herd, Daryl sought cover in an abandoned cabin. However, he stumbled across a woman that threatened him, and he soon figured out that there was more to her than meets the eye.
Era: Prison, pre season four.
Warnings: Swearing, allusions to near death, walkers.
Word count: 1k.
A/N: Requested by @nikkicloudie. I hope you like this!
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“I said: Lower. Your. Fucking. Weapon.”
Against his better judgement, Daryl slowly and hesitantly lowered his crossbow, allowing it to drop to the floor with a dull clink. Once his beloved crossbow was out of his grasp, he raised his hands above his head in surrender.
“I ain’t lookin’ for no trouble, lady,” Daryl spoke up, his ocean-coloured eyes flickering between the gun in your grasp and your face. He was searching for any change in your demeanour, for any sign that you would attack. “Jus’ passin’ through. M’hidin’ from that herd that’s ‘bout two miles from here. M’waitin’ ‘em out.”
Daryl could see the contemplation on your face. With a mere glance at your face, and the way your grip slightly loosened around the gun, the archer knew he was not in any immediate danger. However, he still did not let his guard down. Perhaps you were a master of deception, and you were simply playing him. He did not want to risk it.
“Go.” you finally voiced after a good while of silence. “There’s another cabin about a mile up from here. If you leave now, you’ll make it before the herd gets here.”
Daryl scoffed and shook his head. “Nah. I ain’t riskin’ it. M’not leavin’.”
“Well that’s too damn bad, buckaroo,” you retorted, your gun being raised and aimed at him once more. “I’m not about to risk my s—my life for some stranger. Leave, or I’ll shoot you, I swear to god.”
“Listen, lady. I ain’t—”
Before Daryl could finish his sentence, a loud crash came from another room, followed by a cry. Was he going insane, or did that sound like a little kid? However, before Daryl could do anything, you turned around and bolted towards the source of the sound.
With a frown, Daryl picked up his crossbow and slowly walked towards the room you had disappeared into. He raised his weapon, fully prepared for an attack, but the sight that beheld him had him stopping in his tracks.
A walker laid dead by the window. You were down on your knees, your gun discarded a few feet away from you, and in your embrace was a little boy; the little boy looked no older than three years old. Suddenly, it all made sense to him. The new world gave everyone all the reasons to be extremely defensive, but you had another reason. You had someone you wanted, needed to keep safe.
Your eyes flickered up to meet Daryl’s, and the archer could clearly see how glassy they had become. It did not take a rocket scientist to figure out that the little boy had almost been that walker’s next meal. If you had not appeared when you had… Daryl did not even want to finish that thought.
“You’re okay, Chris. I got you, Baby. Mama’s got you,” you murmured to the little boy in your arms. You gently picked him up as you raised from the floor and allowed him to bury his face into your neck, his quiet whimpers and sniffles being muffled. You looked back at Daryl, your expression less guarded, but more broken.
At that moment, Daryl had already made up his mind. You were clearly just a mom trying to defend her son from the harsh reality that was the world outside, and you had viewed Daryl as a potential threat, and you had every right to be wary of him. He supposed he did not look like the most warm, inviting person ever, and he definitely did not blame you for wanting him as far away from your son as humanly possible.
“M’from a place not too far from here,” Daryl spoke up after a few moments of contemplating his options. He continued when he noticed he had your full attention. “S’a prison that we converted into a community. It’s safe and secure, with ‘bout fifty people walkin’ around and makin’ due.”
“Is that an offer?” you inquired, your hand rubbing soothing circles over your son’s back. “I mean, I just threatened to kill you.”
Daryl shrugged and slung his crossbow over his shoulder. “I would’ve been more terrified of ya if ya didn’t point yer gun at me, considerin’ the world we live in now.” Daryl’s lips involuntarily twitched into a small smile when he heard your light chuckle. “I only have three questions for ya, though.”
You furrowed your eyebrows. “Sure. Shoot.”
“How many walkers have ya killed?” he began, studying your expression closely.
It was your turn to shrug. “I don’t know. A lot.”
“How many people have ya killed?”
A small beat of silence passed. “One.”
“Why?”
“Because I wasn’t about to allow him to kill my son.”
Your answers were more than sufficient, considering the questions you were being asked. He was about to say something, until he heard groaning coming from outside. He ushered you down, and quickly sprung into action. He closed the window and lowered himself down against the wall, right next to you. He turned his head to look at you, and saw how you quietly tried to shush your son, who had started fussing once he picked up on the shift in the mood.
“Mama,” he whimpered, instantly being shushed by you.
“It’s okay, Baby. Shh. It’ll be over soon, okay?” You turned your head and looked at Daryl, your expression desperate. “I don’t know if what you’re saying is true or not, but I can’t live like this anymore.” For added emphasis, you motioned towards the window, where dozens of walkers were walking past. “My son isn’t safe like this. Your offer is just a risk I have to take.”
Daryl nodded. “I know ya dun’ trust me, but I’d never endanger yer lil’ one like that. Ya have my word on that.”
A few beats of silence passed. “I’m Y/N, by the way. This is Chris.”
“Daryl,” Daryl told you. “M’Daryl. And I promise m’gon’ make sure ya get yer lil’ boy to safety. Ain’t gon’ let nothin’ happen to him.”
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jadeylovesmarvelxo · 5 months ago
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🎃 Spooky, Spooky Movies 👻
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You're nursing a crush on Eddie but you're too shy to approach him. A shared love of spooky movies brings the two of you together.
❤️
You had been quietly nursing this little crush of yours for a while now, Eddie Munson was the object of your affections and your crush had only continued to grow the last month or so. Ever since school started again, you noticed Eddie more and more.
Not that he would notice you. Eddie seemed to have crushes on cheerleaders like Chrissy Cunningham, he wasn't interested in you at all.
If only you had the courage to join Hellfire Club or even something less terrifying like even saying hello to him once in a while. That could be a possibility.
You're pretty sure if you joined Hellfire you would just get all tongue tied around him. It was extremely annoying that he made you like this. If you were around people you knew then you were fine.
However being around the guy you were crushing on reduced you to mush. How you would love to make him laugh by saying something witty or just anything at all.
Secretly you watch Eddie while he's in his element, ranting about conformity, Miss O'Donnell and Jason Carver. His eyes are bright, a tiny smirk on his face as passionately begins talking about his new campaign in D&D.
After a few moments you pack away your things and head out of the cafeteria. You're not paying attention as you should and end up knocking into Eddie. Shit.
Flustered you apologise and Eddie flashes you and all dimpled smile as he gathers up your books for you.
Then his eyes trail down to your shirt and he points to it excitedly. "Jesus h Christ, that shirt is so fucking cool. I take it you're a big fan of spooky movies huh?"
You literally forgot you were wearing your favourite Evil Dead shirt today and smile up at Eddie. You were determined to at least hold a conversation with him and maybe your love of spooky movies was the key?
"Mmm, I think I've rented out every horror movie that Family Video has to offer" his eyes light up and he guides you to The Hellfire table, ignoring the rest of the members as he barked at Mike to make space for you.
The two of you spent most of lunch chatting about horror movies that you liked. When you mentioned you were planning to rent out Poltergeist and either Christine or Friday the 13th he was practically vibrating with excitement.
Then all of a sudden his usual confident demeanour vanishes and he looks suddenly shy, he tugs a piece of his hair across his face and peers at you nervously.
"Uh, I actually have Poltergeist rented out rented out ready, maybe you could come to mine and we could watch it?" Oh.
Was this like a date? No...it couldn't be right? You take a chance and ask him, completely expecting him to blow you off. "You mean like a date?"
He blushes but swiftly glares to silence the rest of Hellfire who begins to cat call and tease Eddie. The look immediately silences them and Eddie gestures for you to follow him out to the corridor. "Away from prying buttheads" he tells you and throws an irritated look at the Hellfire table.
Once you're alone he's a little shy again. "Yeah I mean like a date sweetheart" you're elated and stunned that this is actually happening and you accidentally blurt out something you've been wondering for weeks, maybe months.
"I thought you'd have a crush on Chrissy or the other cheerleaders" you admit and he scoffs.
"I mean Chrissy is sweet and all but no. Kinda got my world turned upside down by a beautiful, spooky movie loving lady" flustered but not wasting any more time, you beam and agree to the date.
"Yeah, I'd love to go on a date with you Eddie" he gawks then makes a show of clutching his heart and swooning, it makes you giggle and maybe fall a little bit more for him.
You didn't realise at the time that the date would be the start of something very special.
All because of your love for spooky movies.
Halloween 1987
Eddie is chatting to Steve as you browse through the horror selection in Family Video. You settle on The Thing, Nightmare on Elm street and Fright Night.
What you're most looking forward to is tomorrow when you and Eddie are going to the movies to see The Lost Boys. Both of you were excited for the film but you were anticipating it the most.
Vampires movies were a secret love of yours and this one looked so good. A perfect film to see before Halloween.
Once you've picked your selection you head up to the counter, Steve whistles as he eyes the titles.
"Ahh I see date night right? Munson's picks I guess?" Eddie snorts.
"My princess loves spooky movies I'll have you know Harrington" yeah you'd never get tired of hearing Eddie call you his princess.
Or for all the Halloween's together that were yet to come.
🎃🍁
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hidden-poet · 6 months ago
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Commander Snow: 10
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Commander Snow
Summary; Under the advice of Dr Gaul Coriolanus returns back to district 12 where without blinding light of lucy-grey he could see you.
Warnings; dead dove to do not eat, stalking, unrequited love, breeding kink, violence, possessive!Snow, unco/dubco, sexual content, she/her pronouns, explicit, violence, death, sexual assault, child birth, Capitol bullies.
Editor: @hotline-to-hell
chapter one
Chapter two
Chapter three
Chapter four
Chapter five
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
chapter 9
Chapter 10
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The bed you were asleep on felt like a cloud under you. 
The bedding was fresh, and smelt slightly of lavender scented washing powder. It held a  crispness that could only be given by drying in the sun. 
Pillows surrounded you, giving you a sense of security while heavy blankets nearly pinned you to the mattress from their weight. 
You slept easy despite your predicament. Only the morning sun, as it streamed through the airy curtains, woke you. Still, you don’t move. Too comfortable, and too tired to face the day. 
Coriolanus was not next to you. The large bed was only occupied by yourself. You wondered how long he had been missing, and how much longer he would stay away. 
You were in an entirely new world, only he was familiar. And even he had changed. He was President of Panem, not Commander of District 12. His hair was long, and his clothes were fashionable. He even held himself taller and talked slower. 
Still, he was what you knew. Your lifeline in an alien world. 
Would you change too? You supposed you had. 
A District girl, now wife of the President. Soon the weight of the diamond on your hand would become unrecognizable. You would get used to the strange people here. Tigris and Grandma’am would become family and not Capitol enemies. 
So quickly, your life was snatched from under you. Everything you have ever known has been replaced. Even the air felt different upon your skin. The people around you ate differently, talked differently, dressed differently. Would anything be left of you? Would you be able to keep anything of your home inside of you?
Your heart hurts to think of your mother and brother. Were you to trust Coriolanus when he said he had released them? He was likely to have had them 
released and then shot outside of the gates. How could you ensure their safety? Would he let you call them? What would it cost you?
The quiet turning of the door knob broke your train of thought. 
You wondered if it was a maid or Coriolanus but you couldn’t bring yourself to turn and look. 
You didn’t want to face either one so you closed your eyes hoping that they would leave you. 
Coriolanus did not. He gently shook your shoulder, and you rolled over from your fake sleep. 
“Good morning,” he pushes back your hair, tucking it behind your ear, “Did you sleep okay?”
You brush his hand away. Your ring scratches the skin of his hand as you do. 
“I have a doctor on standby. Are you in any pain?” 
You sit up and surprisingly find very little pain. More tightness from a muscle that had never been used before. You were quite wet already, and he was slow. Allowing you time to adjust. 
“I feel fine,” you respond, “What time is it?” 
“It’s early. I’m sorry. The sign-in is at noon, so you need to start getting dressed. Just like yesterday, some women are going to come in and help you.” 
“The same women?” You hoped not. They were so Capitol. You felt repulsed at the thought of sharing a room with them again. 
“I don’t know. Was there a problem with them yesterday?” His Commander's face was put on. A displeased stone expression that made you feel like a scolded child. 
“No.” You deny. Your eyes go to your ring that sprays out a pale rainbow from the sunlight. 
He pulls your attention back to him with a hold on your chin. 
“You’re my wife. First Lady of Panem.” 
Him calling you wife made your heart curdle. 
“You hold the power over them. If there’s an issue you need to tell me.”
“There was no issue,” you insist. 
He doesn’t push you on it.
“They will be here soon. Come outside for breakfast.”
He gives your arm a tap before rising from the bed to retrieve a warm dressing gown from the closet. 
It was soft around your body and brought a surprising amount of warmth. 
The journey to the dining room table was simple. Just past a long hallway, it opened into the living room, where to the right an elevated platform formed the dining area. 
The Snow women were not dressed as casually as you were. Fine dresses and jewels were worn for breakfast. 
You looked to Coriolanus to see he was also dressed fashionably and felt embarrassed that he had brought you out in last night's worn make-up and a dressing gown. 
The women seemed unbothered to see you. 
“Good morning, Y/N.” Tigris greeted you. 
“Good morning.” You offer back. 
Coriolanus holds out a chair for you amongst the 12 available. 
“Did you have a good time last night?” she asks. 
You looked at her and saw no vindictiveness in her eyes. It was a genuine question, offered to make you feel at ease. 
It was, in fact, the worst night of your life. But you were a stranger at her table, you would not repay her kindness with scorn. 
“Yes,” you say instead, “Did you?” 
Tigris nods her head, as she pours out coffee from a pot into the small white tea cups. 
“Bet you never saw anything like that in the Districts.” Grandma’am quipped. 
You weren’t sure if she intended for her comment to be a way of reminding you of your place, or as an encouragement to how great the Capitol could be. 
“No, I haven’t.” You agree. 
There was food displayed on the table, across a long white cover. Coriolanus picked food from and dropped it onto the gold plate in front of you. 
You had no appetite. It was all so ghastly rich. There was no need for this amount of excess. 
Coriolanus did not share your off-put. He ate his plate, while you examined the strange contents of yours. 
Grandma’am doted on her grandson. Telling stories of his younger years. He always had leadership skills, she said. His presidential future was never in any doubt. 
“Even when-” Grandma’am stopped herself, suddenly looking at and pushing her food around on the plate. 
You were eager to hear what she had to say. Even when he was sent to be a Peacekeeper? Even when he got involved with Lucy Gray? Was there something else that Coriolanus has kept hidden?
“If only your father could see you now,” she redirects, “Oh he would be so proud.” 
“We’re so proud,” Tigris states. Trying to defuse the somber mood. 
Coriolanus smiles at Tigris under her praise. 
“And you?” he asks, turning to you. 
You nod your head, unsure on what he wanted to hear. 
“Congratulations, President Snow.”  You offer. 
“It sounds right, doesn’t it?” Grandma’am squeals. 
You wait until the rest of the company has finished their breakfast between idle chatter. 
Coriolanus was on his second cup of coffee. His arm slung over the back of your chair, as he sits casually, talking to Tigris. 
He leans down to your ear, the second Tigris is occupied with Grandma’am.
“Can you eat something, please? The stylists will be here soon,” he whispers. 
 His casual demeanor returns as Tigris’s attention does. 
You follow his request, taking a bite of some sort of breakfast biscuit. It was fresh, and soft, even stone-cold. You could taste the butter in it. Real butter, not the imitation type found in the Districts. 
“I am going to miss you,” Tigris sighed. 
“We’re not staying here?” You turn to Coriolanus who had just taken another sip of his drink. 
Your stomach fills with knots thinking about a new place. You didn’t want to move. 
He swallows quickly, trying to answer you before anyone else. 
“No. We’re going to the presidential estate, but we’ll come back and visit. And you're both always welcomed at the Presidential Palace.” 
You jump as a ringing sound breaks through the air, looking around to try and see the small bell hidden in the room. 
Coriolanus’s hand comes from the back of your chair to the back of your neck. “It’s okay,” he soothes. 
He reaches for a panel of buttons built into the table and holds one in. 
“Yes?” He answers the call. 
“Mr. President, the PR team is here,” a voice spoke back. 
“Send them up.” His hand returns from you, back to the chair. 
“You don’t have long. Try to have another bite,” he commands. 
You finish the breakfast biscuit by the time the two Peacekeepers escort a whole team of people up to the penthouse. It sat heavy in your stomach. 
You see the same two women in the group. They stand side by side in ridiculous outfits. The one who had burnt you with a curling iron had a spiky, purple hat that reached tall into the sky. 
Two racks of clothing, and four big black boxes on wheels, were carted behind them. 
Coriolanus walks to the living room to greet them. They all congratulate him on his win, which he brushes off quickly to talk to the head stylist about the plan for today. They mutter between themselves, and the stylist shows Coriolanus a large book, pointing to the pictures. Coriolanus points down the hall, explaining the layout of the apartment. 
The book shuts with a heavy snap, and the stylist turns to his workers directing them to their places. 
The team split up behind Coriolanus, as he walked back over to you. 
“You’ll go back to the bedroom. I’ll use one of the spares. If there are any problems, you come and find me.” He tells you. 
You nod in response, noting that three other women follow the two women from yesterday down the hall. 
Coriolanus says goodbye to Grandma’am and Tigris, before leading you back to the bedroom where he lets you go without a word. As he closes the door behind you, the women in the room snap their attention to you. 
They all begin talking to you. Not one voice is heard but hands are felt all around you as they pull you into the bathroom. 
They bicker amongst themselves on what needs to be done first. You had many faults that needed to be fixed before the signing. Your skin wasn’t tight or dewy enough. You needed a facial, and eyelash lift. Your chipped nails were disgusting. Your hair was dull and lifeless. 
You feel vulnerable as hands dig harshly into your clothing, pulling it off your body. As you push hands away, more hands take their place. They call you difficult as you beg them to allow you to do it yourself. 
The shower is turned on too hot, you could feel the heat of it standing five feet away. 
Stripped, you notice the mess of semen still between your legs. Others notice it too and begin to giggle to themselves. Coriolanus had run a wet towel over you so you could sleep comfortably, but it wasn’t enough. 
The shower was boiling as you were pushed under it. Your skin instantly turned red. The women themselves didn’t want to get wet, standing outside of the shower screen, and pulling you by your hair to bring you closer. 
One lathers a strong-smelling liquid into your hair without much care, while another scrubs a hard brush against your skin to rid the old skin. 
It hurt as it raked across your body without soap. The woman's rings got caught in your hair as she scrubbed your head, it yanked as she pulled back. 
With a cry of pain, you are pushed back under the stream of hot water. 
You think about running to find Coriolanus, but they are here now. Another team would not be sent. He would only reprimand them, and then you would be left alone with their wrath. 
You sob instead. You should be at home. It was Wednesday. You were pretty sure. You should be at work, making idle chatter with your co-workers. 
“Wash it out!” The woman commands, “We don’t have much time.” 
Trying to appease her, you do a quick rinse under the water. 
“All of it,” she sighs. 
‘'The water’s too hot,’’ you cry. You felt like a cornered animal.
She looks at her co-workers annoyed. “Turn the water down,” she commands. 
The water is turned ice-cold but you make no further complaint. 
Another round of the strong-smelling liquid is harshly rubbed into your hair, and a nice-smelling lotion is rubbed into your skin. 
The cold water makes you shiver as you stand under it, trying to wash everything off you. 
The water is turned off leaving you standing shivering in the shower. 
“Come on” the women demanded, “hurry”. 
You go to her, and she throws a towel at you. It helps to dry the cold water off you, bringing back a little warmth. 
They watch you as you dry yourself making you feel self conscious. The attempt to cover yourself with the towel is ripped from you, and thrown to the floor. You are once again being pushed instead of asked to do something. 
You were laid flat on a table they had brought. Bare under their eye. Nothing was given so you could cover yourself. 
Five women stand above you and begin work. 
You close your eyes trying to dissociate from everything. A mask is put on your face, leaving space around your eyebrows so they can be waxed. Another oil is put on your hair and skin. 
You could hear the buzzing of the laser and feel its zap as it took the hair off your body. She scaled the length of you with the laser, paying extra attention to your most private parts. 
Only a reprimand was spoken to you as tears ran down your face. You were wasting the product with your tears. 
For a long time, you laid still against the table as they worked. Your body became sore and stiff before they told you to get up and into the bedroom.
It was there you were given back your dressing gown and placed in front of a vanity. 
The women talk amongst themselves as they work. Not one of them asks you anything. You tune them out, thinking about home. 
It felt overstimulating to have so many people working on you at once. Someone cut your hair, while the other women took one hand or one leg. They massage more oil into your skin, before shaping and painting your nails. Your ring is given a shine, and they speak about how beautiful it was. 
You feel their jealousy as they work. Your fingers were twisted into unnatural positions as they were filed. Your hair was pulled ruthlessly as it was cut. One woman stepped on your toes as she rose from the floor for some polish. 
In your head, you were at home, baking for your market stall. Your mother would keep you company in the kitchen, reading a letter from your brother. He had found someone. A nice girl, who treats him well. He wasn’t lonely anymore and had plenty to eat. Edmund was alive, and you would see him when he finished work. He would be joyed at the news that his best friend found a girl, and after dinner that night you would sit with him and draft a letter explaining your new relationship. 
It was a surprise when they all stopped to address the President. 
You turn to see Coriolanus standing in the doorway with a large mug in his hands. He had been taken from his clothes this morning and undressed into a white singlet. He had no shoes on his feet, and his dress pants still had pins in them from the tailoring. 
“It’s time for a break,” he announced. His hair appeared to be cut back, and slightly curled more. His skin glowed with treatment. 
You had never been thankful to see him until that moment. A tear slipped from your eye and you quickly wiped it away.
“Sir, we still have lots to do,” one of the stylists said. 
“Leave the room,” he commanded. 
Tools are dropped as they follow his request.
The five women pass him through the door, and he kicks it closed as the last one leaves. 
You get up from the vanities chair with a headache from all the pulling. 
“I came to check on you. Are you okay?” he says. 
The tea in his hands was a welcomed surprise. The hot shower had dehydrated you, and your crying left your throat scratchy. You take it from him and take three large gulps. 
He takes your waist into his hands once they are free from the cup. 
“Yeah,” you lie. Your voice was quiet and broken from having not spoken for a long period of time. 
The tea was hot, burning your throat as you drank it, but it was good. You broke away from his hold, going to sit on the ottoman by the bed. He followed you as you sat. 
Certain parts of your head felt like they were burning from the harsh treatment, You reached up to soothe the sore spots. Coriolanus’s hands follow yours. You knock them away, wanting nothing more than not to be touched. 
He moves onto the bed behind you, sitting with either leg by your sides. His strong fingers reach into your hair and massage your scalp. It felt nice as his fingers dug into your head so you allowed him to do it. 
You lean back into him, the hot cup burning your lap. 
“Do you want to tell me something?” he gently asks. 
His fingers press into a very sore spot on your head, causing you to wince and pull forward out of his hold. 
He doesn’t let you sit up, pulling you back by your shoulders into him. His fingers go back to your hair once more, but he rakes his nails through your hair instead of pushing in. 
He rakes his nails in a continuous backward motion, soothingly as he talks. 
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to hurt you. That shouldn’t have hurt.” 
A gentle kiss is placed against your ear. 
“Are you alright? Do you want me to stay? I’ll stay.” He offers. 
You think about it. The women would surely be kinder with Coriolanus in the room. But you didn’t want to admit you needed him. Worse, you didn’t want to feel indebted to him. After all, it was because of him you were going through this.  
You get up from him once more, and he allows you to create distance as you go back to the vanity set. 
“Leave me alone, Coriolanus,” you demanded. 
You wipe the tears harshly away from your face, and he sits there watching you. 
A gentle knock is heard at the door. Coriolanus rises to answer it. 
“Come in,” he orders. 
The women single file in, past him. Only he stops the women who had been barking orders at everyone all day. 
You watch him in the mirror as he brings his hand down across her face.  
A gasp leaves your lips as you watch her fall to the ground from the force. 
“I entrusted her to you. If you make me regret it, I’ll make you regret it,” he warns, staring down at her with eyes that spoke of his anger. 
He steps over her and back to his room. 
“What did you say?” the woman in the purple hat hisses at you. 
“Nothing,” you admit, “I said nothing. I promise.” 
The woman who was hit gathers herself from the floor, coming over to you and pinching the skin on your arm between her long, fake nails. 
“Well say less.” she rasped. 
“It wasn’t my fault. He’s like that,” you contend, rubbing the skin she had pinched. 
“Maybe to District scum, but not to us.” 
“Your red cheek would suggest otherwise,” you sass. 
It earns you a harsh tug on your hair as it is yanked to one side.
“Just do as you are told and face forward,” she spat.
She spins you by your hair towards the mirror. No more tears fall from your eyes, but a satisfied smirk stretches across your lips. The moment had made you feel powerful. 
While their nail files dug into your skin, and your hair was gripped too tightly just to be cut, they no longer spoke. Coriolanus had scared them into silence. 
A few moments later he reappears with his own styling crew as they struggle to bring everything they need into the room. 
He sets up next to you, and under the watchful eye of Coriolanus, your stylists turn gentle. With your body done, they move to your hair and make-up. 
The large room is crowded with all the people and equipment. The head stylist tries to persuade Coriolanus back to his own room, but he would hear none of it. 
As your hair is curled and pinned into a loose bun, the iron used slipped slightly from her hands as she pinned. It burnt behind your ear, causing you to jump from the hot touch, but no sound escaped you. 
Coriolanus noticed anyway. 
“Be careful. Watch what you are doing”, he reprimanded.  
“Yes, President Snow” the woman apologizes. 
With a spray all over your hair, the woman steps back to admire her work. 
“Alright. We are fifteen minutes behind schedule. We need to get her in her dress”, the woman with the red cheek called out. 
Coriolanus was done. Only one stylist was there with him, shining his shoes. 
They lead you to the bathroom with a dress bag. 
As soon as the door was closed, one of the stylists who had remained quiet all morning began to speak. 
“Yes, President Snow,” she mocked. 
“Shut up,” the hair stylist barked. 
The dress was pulled from the bag without a wrinkle. 
It was a sweetheart, white satin, strapless gown. The bodice had pearls strung along it, and it curved up in the middle into a line of pearls. 
It was matched with a pair of white heels with pearl straps and a jacket of the same material that was only meant to go around your shoulders and not to be worn, you learned. 
The shoulders of the jacket clipped into the dress so it didn’t move.
“There,” the head woman snapped, “You’re done.” 
You quickly rushed from her presence, back out to the bedroom where Coriolanus stood alone. 
You turn back as you walk to him, expecting the woman to come from the bathroom. But they never do.
He takes you into his arms, gaining your attention from the door
“You look beautiful,” he comments. 
He did too, but you wouldn’t admit it. He wore black instead of white, but his shirt and pocket square matched the material of your dress. 
“Thank you,” you reply. 
A slight squeak of the bathroom door had you pulling back. You would hate for them to see you so cozy in his arms. But the door never opens. 
Coriolanus pulls you tight against him again, leaning down to whisper something to you. 
“Do you want me to have them killed?” He asks. 
“No,” you say, astonished that he could think of no other solution.
“It’s up to you,” he states, “Come on. We are late.” 
He leads you back to the living room where Tigris and Grandma’am stood waiting amongst the stylists packing up. 
“Give us time to settle in before you come to visit,” Coriolanus spoke to his family. He leans his tall frame down to kiss each of them. 
“Of course,” Tigris answered. After she had kissed him, she moved over to you. Wrapping her arms around your shoulder, and placing a kiss on the corner of your head. 
“We’ll see each other again soon,” she promises. 
You smile back at her before she is replaced with Grandma’am. The older woman's hug is shorter and less affectionate. 
With a final goodbye, you follow Coriolanus and a series of Peacekeepers to the elevator and down to the car park. 
A sleek black car was waiting. A driver held out the back door, and Coriolanus placed you in the car first. 
The Peacekeepers piled into a large truck. Only one sat in the front of your car with the driver.
The divider was raised so you couldn’t see them, but you could have sworn you had seen the Peacekeeper before. You wondered if Coriolanus had brought back men from District 12. 
The car ride passed through the city. You had never seen such buzz. Colors and colors flew past you. Buildings that reached the sky gleamed. Tall statues were littered across the drive. You counted seven, and a possible eighth that flew past too fast to see more than a gray figure. 
You wanted to put the window down for a better view as the tint from the window dulled some of the colors. But Coriolanus denied your request. The wind would undo the work done on your hair, and it was important that you arrived looking your best. He had promised to take you out again later with the windows down. 
When you arrived at the presidential estate, it was surrounded by supporters of Coriolanus holding banners and sticks with a picture of Coriolanus’s face attached. They waited outside of the tall gates guarded by peacekeepers. 
As the car passed them, screams and cheers deafened you. 
It got worse when you entered the gates, the screaming was matched with flashes of white light. 
Coriolanus was unbothered by it all. His focus is all on the approaching building in front of him. 
The building was grand, surrounded by meticulously kept gardens. Large Panem flags hung on flag poles on either side of the staircase that led to the entrance. A line of staff stands at the top of the staircase. All of them were dressed in expensive white material that formed around their bodies in a long coat, and pants. Gold detailing was added to the stitches and a gold pin fashioned into the Panem symbol was pinned across their chest to keep their jacket closed. 
Even the servants dressed nicer than the high society of District 12. They looked better fed too. 
The car stopped as close as it could to the stairs and Coriolanus turned to you, taking your hand in his. 
“Stay close to me. People are excited and that can cause them to act mindless.” 
The door is opened by a Peacekeeper and Coriolanus leads you along the slim path through the sea of people. 
People reach out to touch him, yelling out to gain his attention. But his mind stayed focused on the approaching building. A look of smug satisfaction and determination played across his features. You must have looked terrified as you followed him.
These people looked like animals. They frenzied around you with only a few Peacekeepers to keep them in check. 
You stay as close as you can to Coriolanus, taking the back of his shirt into your spare hand. 
The path ends as it comes to the bottom of the step. Coriolanus reaches his hand back to release you from his shirt, bringing you to stand by him as you climb the steps. 
One woman in an all-black ensemble stood out in front of the line of staff. She greeted Coriolanus as he reached her on the steps. 
“President Snow, an honor to serve you as your head of staff.”
She reached out her right hand but his right hand was latched around yours. He was hesitant to let it go.
She pauses when he doesn’t react but quickly switches out hands which Coriolanus accepts in a handshake. 
Upon realizing your importance to him, she turns to you in a curtsy. 
“And you, Mistress.” 
The crowd cheers once more for President Snow. White roses are thrown from the crowd, falling on the road and upon the bottom of the stairs. 
Peacekeepers push back against the crowd. Things were not to be thrown at the President. 
“A pleasure. Perhaps we should get inside before the crowd decides to see how close they can get.” Coriolanus suggests. 
The woman steps back, nodding her head quickly and too many times. 
“Of course. If you would follow me, I will take you to the signing.” 
The rest of the staff remain on the steps as you and Coriolanus follow the woman.
The loudness of the crowd was shut out from the big, heavy doors. It offered you two seconds of relief before taking in the vastness of the house. 
The floors were polished and matched the furniture.  A big lush thick carpet was laid out to add some warmth to the room. It was dark red and had cream accents that splayed out in intricate designs. The entryway must have been 50 feet in width and length but the red carpet covered nearly all of it. 
Both you and Coriolanus looked around in wonder. Only Coriolanus was better at hiding his amazement. He acted indifferent as the women explained the history of the house. But you could see his eyes linger on the expensive and well-decorated decor of the house. 
Staircases were everywhere, leading up and down in all different forms of design. The house was too big. It would be easy for a person to get lost but the woman led you without stumbling. 
You wonder about her. How long had she been here? Was it a choice to serve the house? 
She didn’t seem scared or upset. There were no marks upon her cream skin suggesting a lifetime of servitude. She wore make-up, and her thick, black hair was styled fashionably. But looks could be deceiving in the Capitol. 
They liked to hide behind their fine things and sharp appearances. 
She leads you into a large office. The original flag of Panem hung framed behind a large desk. The dirt and blood that had gathered on it during the war blotted the bright colors. 
Only five reporters were allowed into the room, amongst a few other important people. They all greeted Coriolanus with a firm handshake. Only one reporter was female, and she towered over the men, assisted by her six-inch heels. She looks at your ring, and you notice an absence of one on hers. 
She was too smart to get trapped by the Capitol men. 
Coriolanus thanked them for being here with his dazzling smile while you stood behind him mute, and useless. 
The women who brought you in interrupted the polite conversation between the group. 
“President Snow, it is custom to sit in the chair while signing,” she directed. 
“Yes,” Coriolanus obliged, leading you behind the large oak desk. 
You tug your hand from him as he sits. They wanted him, not you. 
A dark green plush couch with colorful cushions called out to you. You needed to sit as your legs felt like jelly. 
“President Snow, did you want the picture with or without your First Lady?” The woman reporter asked as she readied her camera. 
“With.” Coriolanus beckoned you closer but your legs would not cooperate. 
You stood until the head of staff pushed you forward. 
“Alright, dear, you stand behind your husband and don’t forget to smile. Big smile!” She commands. 
You are thankful that her hands moved you into position. The referral to Coriolanus as your husband froze you. She told you once more to smile which activated your lips into a thin smile.
“Okay, Mr. President when you’re ready,” one of the male reporters called. 
The cameras flash blinding you as Coriolanus signs his name on the parchment. 
His signature is a series of neat loops finished by a long line that curled underneath his name. 
It was official. Coriolanus Snow would now rule over Panem. With the hopes that it was over, you go to move back out of the camera frames but it only caught the attention of the journalists. 
“Mrs. Snow, how about a kiss for the President?” One of the reporters called out. The comment frenzied the rest who shouted out encouragements. 
Coriolanus turns out to you in his chair, permitting you to follow the command. 
So you do. Bending down to his height and placing a kiss on his lips. He steadies you with a hand on the side of your face so that the kiss deepens. 
The cameras liked that. You pull away, but Coriolanus' hand keeps you in place. 
His thumb brushes against the lipstick that had smudged getting rid of it before wiping his hand over his mouth. 
A make-up artist comes over to him, helping him to rid the lipstick off his face and reapplying power from a compact. 
“Okay, can we get a shot of just the President staring down the lens with the flag in the background?” The woman once more directs. 
You move quickly out of the way as the journalists kneel on the floor for the shot, and point their cameras up. 
You find comfort on the couch and watch as Coriolanus is directed for the magazine shots. 
When he is not directed to stare into a camera his eyes are on you, making sure that you are still in the room. 
A deep regret sets on your posed photos. You should have said no. Coriolanus would be too cautious to correct you in front of what constituted the entirety of Panem. You could have gotten away with it. Now your family was sure to see the photos of you happily smiling behind him. Kissing him, with a diamond ring on your finger. 
What would Edmund's family think? Your own family would think of you as a traitor. What would the family who lost everything due to you think? Edmund was keeping them afloat. How would they get by now? Would your brother take care of them as Edmund took care of his family? Would they accept the help of a traitor's brother?
Coriolanus stands from the desk in front of the reporters. 
“As you can imagine, yesterday was a long day. If you are satisfied with the photos I would like to settle in with my new wife.” 
“Of course, Mr. President,” was the resounding response. 
He comes to collect you on the couch as the head of staff briefs the people in the room on what is to happen now. 
“No one is to leave this room. Peacekeepers will come and escort you out. You and your equipment will be searched before you are released back to your firm. The President thanks you for your time and service to your country.” 
Coriolanus brings your arm to loop through his as you follow the woman back out into the vast space of the house. 
She takes you up a large, twin staircase back at the main entrance of the house, and along a corridor lined with a long carpet. At the very end came a double-door entrance that stretched from the very bottom, all the way to the top. 
This was the President's quarters. She unlocks the door with a key that was passed to Coriolanus, and swings open the doors so you can see the space. 
Another enormous space was filled with plush rugs and expensive furniture. Back home a house consisted of the bare necessities. In the Capitol, they had space for every activity and filled it with unnecessary furniture. 
A breakfast nook, a long dinner table, a sitting area, a living room, a walk-in coat closet, two full bathrooms, a tall wine fridge, and a set-up bar were all contained within the floor. A staircase that led up suggested that there was more to the living space. 
The woman asks if she can do anymore, but Coriolanus assures her there is nothing to be done but rest now. 
She shows Coriolanus a button he could push to call for a servant before bidding him goodbye. 
He was quick to shut the door behind her as you wandered into the apartment. 
“What do you think?” He asks. 
“People live like this?” You run a hand over a soft blanket draped over the couch. 
“I never have,” he admits. 
 From a war-ruined boy, to a Peacekeeper, to Commander of District 12, Coriolanus lived far from the luxury of the Capitol. 
He got nights of Capitol living when he came to visit from District 12 but his home had always been rat-infested slums. 
“It’ll feel more like home when you settle in, and make it your own.”
“It’ll never feel like home,” you remark snidely. 
Coriolanus picks up a small decorative statue and examines it. 
“Well not your home back in District 12, but your home in the Capitol.” 
He places the statue back down and holds out his hand for you to take. 
“Shall we see upstairs?” 
Upstairs was as impressive as down. Six spare bedrooms each with their own bathrooms and ready for guests, a sizable private study that conjoined to a lavish sleeping arrangement. 
You open the doors to your closet to find that it already had been filled with clothing. A pair of comfortable-looking pants and a singlet call out to you, and you ask Coriolanus if you could change. 
He gives you permission, telling you that he was going to look around the estate but he would be back soon. 
The bathroom had heated tiles which helped to keep you warm as you tried to figure out the shower. There was a pad with buttons that had too many commands to work.
You finally figure it out with pure luck and a heavy stream of water shoots out from the shower head. 
You shower off the make-up and hair spray. Some glitter that had been dusted on your skin had to be scrubbed off which left you red, and pruny from the time it took. 
Another battle to turn off the water, before you could reach for a white fluffy towel off the rack. It was warm too from the heated rack.
With Coriolanus gone, you explored the room. Everything was set up as if you already lived here. 
You find a book about the history of Panem in the bookcase and flick through it. It talked about the Dark Days. How District people were dangerous and out to ruin Capitol life. 
Large black and white pictures taken during the war were displayed in large form across the page. The Capitol during the war looked like District 12 now. 
The next page showed a photo of rebels being lined up to be shot. The page after that had a photo of a man. A general during the war. The name shocked you. 
General Crassus Snow. He looked a little like Coriolanus. Same blonde hair and blue eyes, but without the name, you wouldn’t have known.
A hero they called him. It turned out Coriolanus wasn’t lying to you when he said his father was killed in 12. You wondered how that must have felt for him, to go back there and rule over the place that left him fatherless. 
A little blurb read that Crassus Snow was known to have an excellent head for strategy and nerves of steel. With a commanding presence that rose him quickly through the military ranks before he was cowardly killed in an ambush. 
Coriolanus had followed in his father’s footsteps. The page could have been Coriolanus' autobiography. 
Your fingers trace the photo of the man standing tall in his uniform. If he was alive, you doubt he would have let Coriolanus get involved with you. But he wasn’t, and you were here, trapped in the Capitol, while he was buried somewhere in District 12. 
You continue with the book, scoffing as they skew history to fit their narrative. War was never one-sided. 
You hear him as he enters the study. The door was heavy and loud. 
Expecting him to appear, you continue flipping through the pages of the book. 
But time passes with no appearance.
You finish the book and go to find out what he is doing. 
Taking the side door, you could see his back as it faced a large painting on the far wall. You knew from school that the picture was of the past President Ravenstill.
He gazes at the portrait with his hands clasped behind his back. 
“Coriolanus?” You call. It breaks his concentration, and he unhooks himself from his rigid posture to extend his hand out to you. But he never faces away from the painting. 
You rush to accept his hand, looking up at the painting with him. There was nothing special about it. An oil painting that depicted a hateful man in a powerful position. 
But something about it captivates Coriolanus. 
“Are you alright?” you ask. His broody eyes normally meant bad things for you.
“You see this?” He bends his forehead to your level and points to a faint scar on the top corner of his head. 
“During the war, I went looking for scraps around the Presidential palace. I found a great big bucket full of half-eaten bones with meat still on them just sitting there over the fence, so I reached my hand in to try and get one. I was found by a Peacekeeper who informed me that the President said they were for his dogs and left me with a scar from the butt of his rifle.” 
He looks away from you and back to the painting. You were grateful for it. There was a darkness in his eyes that scared you. 
“Now I am the man in the palace,” he mutters. 
“I am sorry that happened to you.” 
He smiles at your words. Pity was something he wanted from no one but you. 
“You can do a lot of good, Coriolanus,” you temper with a squeeze to his hand. 
He nods his head in agreement, “I will. The Capitol will flourish under me.”
“You could do good in the Districts too. You saw the disadvantages there.”
His grip around your hand tightened, and his jaw locked in place. The painting was no longer of any interest. You now bore his intense stare. 
“I saw a bunch of animals clawing at each other to get ahead. You should be thankful that I saved you.”
“Saved me?” You questioned. 
He had not saved you from a burning building but taken you from your bed at night. 
“It wouldn’t have been long before the animals tore into you.”
The hold on your hand loosens and he takes a step back from you. 
“I’ll ring down for lunch.” He disappears from the room, leaving you in front of the painting. That night it was replaced with one of Coriolanus. The painting of him was still wet but hung proudly in the room. 
The next morning after a luxurious breakfast you went straight back to bed and stayed there until Coriolanus returned home. 
You had no idea if he locked the door on his way out, you never checked. There was nothing out there for you. No family or friends to shield you in their arms. No familiar faces, or sense of community. 
Tigris and Grandma’am visited on the weekend, wanting to be shown around. But you only knew the bed, and Coriolanus spent too many hours at the official office downstairs to know the little details of the apartment. The head of staff was called again to show the group around the property. It took nearly half an hour to explore the place. 
Grandma’am was too old to do that much walking but she wouldn’t slow down. She had dreamt about this day, longer than Coriolanus had. She held on to him as he assisted her in walking, and you held her handbag. 
They stayed for coffee and cake which delighted Coriolanus. You spoke very little, even as Tigris tried to coax a conversation out of you. The crushing weight of defeat was hindering your ability to be social. 
When they left, you got an earful from Coriolanus, who was disappointed in your behavior. All was forgiven, however, when the lights turned off and you were alone in bed with him.
The staff thought it was odd when you insisted that you would do the cleaning and cooking for yourself and Coriolanus. He took great pride in it. Feeling as if it was a testimony of your love. But in truth, your days were so much longer without it.
Sometimes there were visitors from the Academy or acquaintances from high society. Grandma’am and Tigris came over consistently but most of the time you were left completely alone. 
For a brief period, while the facilities for you to cook and clean were installed, you lived back in the Snow Penthouse. 
You enjoyed other company besides Coriolanus. One night after he was finished with you, you asked him if home could be here instead of the Presidential Palace. 
He gave a laundry list of reasons as to why that wouldn’t be possible. The Presidential Palace was safer. It was the place where the President and the First Lady were supposed to live. Besides he didn’t want Tigris, and Grandma’am around while he adjusted to married life. You knew it all boiled down to the fact he simply didn’t want to. 
—------------------
The night you return to the Presidential Palace, he comes to bed with a stack of papers.
“Look,” he leans closer to you, holding out a bit of paper that you couldn’t read under the sporadic flashes of light from the Tv. 
“My first official act as President. Schools will now provide breakfast and lunch free of charge for every school student.”
“I thought children in the Capitol never had to worry about food”. 
“Some do,” he responds, “There are poorer and richer classes in the Capitol too. Not to the extent of the Districts, but we have our own troubles in the Capitol.” 
The Capitol people, no matter how poor, were not treated like animals, and terrorized by a militant group. They were still Capitol, and thus worthy of respect. 
“And university is free for those in the top 10% of their cohort. I’ll make the announcement first thing tomorrow morning.”
“That’s wonderful” you praise, although you cared little for the new change. 
He felt as if the bill would rewind the clock. Damn the Hunger Games, and the Plinth Prize. If he could bury the mistakes of his past, they never happened. 
—----------------
Coriolanus grew desperate for a baby after his first month of presidency. He wished he had gotten you pregnant back in District 12 so he could have a baby halfway through his first term. But he didn’t dwell on the past when he could focus on the future. 
He tried desperately every night to put a baby in you, but nothing stuck.
He grew worried that time in the Districts had made you barren. After a very uncomfortable examination by a doctor who assured him that you were able to bear children, but simply have not. 
The thought of children made you feel sick. You had no idea how you would manage it on top of everything. You did not want his children, but how could you stop him? He was the one who decided your future. 
Every morning he would wait outside of the bathroom door for you to do a test. You would bring a negative result back, and his face would sag. 
His frustration was rough in form. Since election night, fun was the only objective for Coriolanus. But as his want for a child grew, teasing and pleasing you were secondary to his need. Again and again, in the same night, he would manhandle you in positions he thought were best. They left him with a sore wife and no baby to show for it. 
A doctor had suggested that extreme stress can disrupt the ovulation cycle making it difficult to plan strategic timing of sex. This had annoyed Coriolanus greatly. You went on only a few official obligations in which you stayed by Coriolanus. You were fed, clothed, and rested. There was no extreme stress in your life that would hinder you from his baby. 
You verbally agreed with his rant but laughed in private at his delusional hissy fit. 
Every night when he was finished, he would sleep thinking tomorrow he would wake with good news. 
One day he did. He was getting ready to go down to the office, waiting for you to present him with the test. 
You expect the same as before, but as you expect the test, you notice an instant difference. 
Scrambling for the box, you check the instructions. A cold shot through you as you looked back to see the indication of pregnancy. 
In hope you take another one. 
Coriolanus knocks on the door, telling you he has to leave soon. 
You don’t care, you stare at the test waiting for a negative result. 
It appeared the same as the other.
Coriolanus calls out again. On auto-pilot, you unlock the door and show him the test. He knew from your expression that it was positive but he looks anyway. 
He kisses you deeply, but you can’t move against him. You were going to be a mother. Die nursing Coriolanus’s babies. 
“A baby,” he says joyously. He brings his hand to your stomach and smiles, “A Snow.” 
He ushers you back into bed, and calls for a maid to come tend to you while he is at work. All day you only move to throw up once. 
The maid annoys you all day by asking you to do things. You just wanted to cry in bed without an audience. 
As soon as the news was announced, floods of gifts came piling into the apartment. Designer clothes, a gold crib, flowers, and chocolate were sent for you. You threw them all out. 
Every day you spend organizing and putting away presents only for more to come. 
If you had thought your life was miserable before pregnancy, your life was unbearable while you were pregnant. Coriolanus was anxious about losing the baby. 
The whole nine months at breakfast each morning a doctor checked for any complications. It made it difficult to eat which frustrated you as you woke every morning with great hunger. Only to throw it up again by mid-morning. 
You were young and healthy so the pregnancy was low risk. Due to the rations in the Districts, your iron was low, but with your meals now being made by qualified chefs and nutritionists it quickly came back up to an acceptable level. 
Coriolanus insisted that everything was a risk. Cooking over a hot stove, or bending to clean.  You came to work with him like you did at the Compound. It was then you realized that he was more worried about you self-sabotaging the pregnancy than he was about the chemicals in cleaning products. 
You grew big and uncomfortable. With the hormones raging in your body you would cry randomly during the day. One time when Tigris came to drop off the baby clothes she had made you, Coriolanus insisted she stayed for tea in the garden. 
It was a beautiful day, and you had company other than Coriolanus. It was one of your better days. But upon seeing a dead baby bird at the edge of the garden, you began to cry uncontrollably. 
You resisted Coriolanus' hold as he shouted for the bird to be taken away. The scene greatly shocked Tigres who quickly left when Coriolanus returned you to your room. 
In addition to the mood swings, your baby kicked all day long giving you little rest. It took a toll on your appearance, leaving you looking half-dead.
Everywhere you turned someone was handing you a pillow and a blanket or offering you food. You felt like the main attraction at a circus. The only good thing about the pregnancy was that no meant no.
Coriolanus was far more respectful of your boundaries. All you had to put up with was his interactions with his unborn child. He liked to speak to it in your stomach and feel it kick. On daily walks for the baby's health, he would hold the bump as he accompanied you around the grounds. He was excited to be a father but you were terrified of being a mother in an entirely different world than your own. 
Both you and Coriolanus attended parenting classes to help with the transition. Even raising babies was different in the Capitol. Mothers were not supposed to leave the house for 40 days after the birth. District women went back to work before the week was out. 
The teachers talked about safe sleeping practices in a cot, District babies slept in a basket cushioned with rags. 
Special food was designed for every stage of toddler life here. Babies back home ate what was available. 
The classes made you grateful that your child was Capitol. At least you could give them a happy, comfortable life.
Coriolanus would ensure the best for his child that you were sure of. 
—--------
Nine months passed quickly. One early morning you woke up in a great deal of pain. Coriolanus was still asleep next to you. You knew the baby was ready to come, but you were not ready for the baby. 
You try to delay the baby. The midwife said you had another week. 
A hot bath stops the pain for a little while, but the sound of running water wakes Coriolanus. You’re in the bath for thirty minutes before he rises from bed to join you.
He doesn’t knock as he enters. There was a time when you would have tried to cover up, but those days were long gone.
Coriolanus kneels by the bathtub and places a hand on your rounded stomach. 
“Kicking, is he?” Coriolanus asks. 
“Yeah. Something like that,” you state. 
“He’s just excited to be here next week.” 
As if it was a call to action, your stomach begins to contract painfully tight. You wince, trying hard to keep a sound from coming out. 
“Are you alright?” He asks with concern. 
“Yes. Can you help me out of the tub?” 
The plug is pulled by twisting a round knob to your left, and the water drains quickly. 
He helps you out of the tub gently, wrapping you in a towel and helping you walk to your wardrobe. 
All of your pregnancy clothes were loose dresses that fell down to your ankles. You picked a light blue one but as the fabric fell around your body, your stomach gave a harsh twist. It felt as if your stomach muscles were being pulled from your stomach. 
You feel Coriolanus place a hand on your back. 
“I’ll call for the doctor,” he says. 
The doctor and his nurses had been moved into the presidential palace for the pregnancy. Coriolanus wanted to be sure that if anything went wrong, a team of experts was at hand. 
“No,” you moan, “He’s just moving that’s all.” 
The next contraction had you yelling and kneeling over in pain. 
“Is he coming?” His voice carried an excitement that could only be found in a person not about to give birth. 
“To the bed,” he demands, “Come on.” 
The team is quickly called up, bringing with them scary-looking machines. Your doctor had previously explained what they did and how he would deliver the baby. But none of it mattered now. You were terrified. 
Coriolanus only left your side to get dressed. The labor was nearly fourteen hours, during which Coriolanus held your hand and waited for the contractions to get closer together. 
He tried his best to make you comfortable. Hard pillows were brought in for you so you could sit up, and he held a water bottle close, ready for you. 
As you enter the second stage of labor, the pain intensifies as your body gets ready for the push. Your fear spikes, knowing that a baby would soon be placed in your care. 
“No, no,” you mutter. This wasn’t supposed to be like this, You were supposed to be married to the love of your life, and have your mother to coach you through this. 
“You’re alright, darling. He is almost here,” Coriolanus dabbed an ice-cold rag over your forehead as he spoke. 
“No,” you state more forcibly, “I want my mother.”
“Mrs. Snow, you need to start pushing,” the doctor instructs. Your body pushes automatically, causing a painful groan to resound around the room. 
Coriolanus gives you words of encouragement but they buzz in your ear. The sound of your mother's name coming from your lips was the only thing you heard.  
“You don’t need her. Just keep going.” He soothes. 
You scream at the pain. The room felt as if it was on fire around you, but you knew it was cold outside. The world began to blur, the beeping of the machines and talk of the medical team lapped. 
You look towards the doorway as your body begins to push again. You swear you see your mother peeking in. 
“Mum!” you scream, “Mum, please, don’t leave me.”
“No, No.” Coriolanus consoles. 
“No. Coriolanus, I want my mother. Where’s my brother?” You ask in a state of panic that brings tears to your eyes. 
“Mrs. Snow, push.” The doctor bids. 
“No!” you scream back, “Not without my mum.”
“Mrs. Snow, this baby is coming. You don’t have time,” the doctor says. 
“Push,” Coriolanus tells you. 
“Please, Coriolanus, please,” you beg. All you wanted was to see her. If he didn’t want you to speak that would be fine. You just needed to see your mother as you delivered your first child.
“What have you done?” You sob, looking at his worried face. 
“I haven’t done anything,” he defends, “You need to start pushing.”
Pain ripples through your body and you push to ease it. 
Three big pushes that burn, and suddenly the pressure in your stomach is gone. 
A loud cry fills the room, in constellation with your heavy panting. 
The crying buddle is brought to you by the doctor, but you push his hands away. One peak at his light blonde hair had you feeling sick. He was supposed to have dark hair like Edmund’s. He was supposed to be Edmund’s child. 
Instead, the child was given to Coriolanus who accepted him into his arms. 
“Coriolanus, where is my mother?” You ask. 
“She’s not here. You know that,” he answers. 
Still, you scream for her to save you. 
“Commander Snow, please! Just let me see her,” you beg. 
He looks down at you puzzled, with the screaming child in his arms. 
Despite feeling as if you had been hit by a train, you attempt to rise which is discouraged by everyone in the room.
 Coriolanus steps forward to stop you, but won’t release his hands from his son. 
You feel the pressure from the nurses on your shoulder as they press you back into the mattress. 
“Sir, can I administer a sedative to calm her?” a nurse asks. 
Coriolanus nods at the nurse, and she inserts a needle into your IV drip. 
“Get off. No!” You try to tug against the IV connection, but your hands are pinned down. 
“Mum!” you shout, “Archie!” 
The sedative works fast. You soon find yourself unable to hold your head up. The fight kicked out from under you. 
You watch as Coriolanus holds tight to the small blanket. 
“Commander, please.” You mumble, but hear no response as you slip into a deep sleep.  
—-----------
When you wake it feels as if each limb has been torn from your body, and you have been hastily stitched together again. 
The room is blurred but your eyes are opened. You could feel their sting as you failed to blink. 
You had a son, you think, but where is he? Why can’t I hear him crying?
With newfound motivation you will yourself to get your bearings. 
Your muscles move at your control once more, and your eyes focus on the lamp on the table. 
As you regain control, you hear footsteps by the end of the bed. Your head rolls on the pillow to see Coriolanus as he stands over a bassinet, still for a second, before he reaches down and picks up your baby, wrapped tightly and swaddled. 
You wanted to call out and demand that he place your baby back down but you were still hazy from the drugs. You're too slow to gain back your voice. 
He sits in a nearby rocking chair with the baby tightly in his arms, beginning to rock gently as he gazes down at the small bundle. 
The baby fusses slightly but is soon soothed back to sleep. 
Seeing your baby in no harm, you try and sit up 
“Coriolanus,” you call. His eyes shoot up to watch you as you rise into a sitting position but go back to your baby as he speaks. 
“Take it easy. He’s okay,” he consoles. 
“Is he healthy?” You ask. 
Coriolanus smiles down at his son, as he rocks back and forth. 
“He’s perfect. I’ve named him, Crassus Alexander Snow, after my father.”
You hate that your son is named after the man in the book. You hate that Coriolanus has named him without your approval. Your son wasn’t a doll for him to play with. He had taken enough from you, now it felt as if he was after your son too. 
“You named him?” Your voice was hard with your displeasure. 
“I had to. The nurses needed a name. Don’t worry you can have the next one.”
The next one. Not even 24 hours after an excruciating labor, and he was talking about the next one. 
Looking around, you see that you only felt like you had just given birth. The machines, apart from your IV drip next to you, had been taken back. The bed was fresh under you, and you had been changed into comfortable pajamas.  
You lean back into the bed, silent. This was not how you pictured your first child. You wanted your mother and brother to see him.  
You picture seeing them again. Just one last time to say goodbye. 
The thought of it makes you break the silence you otherwise never would have broken. 
“Coriolanus, do you think I could write to my mother to let her know I had a child?” You ask quietly. 
He is quiet which worries you. Your mother would know when the Capitol news circulated through the District, but you were hoping to at least let her know you tried to tell her. 
“Yes, you should,” he finally spoke.
He gets up from the rocker and walks slowly towards your bed. 
“Here, do you want to hold him?” 
You open your arms for Coriolanus to place your son into. 
He fits perfectly and doesn’t wake.
You stare at him. He didn’t feel like your son. Crassus was a small baby, with light blonde hair. Not how you imagined him. 
Coriolanus lays on the bed next to you, wrapping his arm around your shoulders so he could bring you close. 
“Thank you,” he says, “I know how scared you were. You called for your mother. Do you remember?”
You were hoping that he wouldn’t mention it. That it could just be something that happened and then forgotten.
“Did I?” you fawn. 
You're careful to keep your eyes on your son, and not to look anywhere that could gain Coriolanus's attention. 
He captures it anyway by bringing your chin up to his height. 
“You did so well, and I am so proud of you,” he praises. He places a quick kiss on your lips before drawing his head back. 
“I love you.” He states. His eyes look at you expecting. 
“I love you too, Coriolanus.”
You never know if the letter you write is sent home. No return was ever given. 
—--------------
A week later your baby boy lay between you and Coriolanus on the bed. He was sleeping after you had just fed him. It took a while for you to feel connected to him but now a mother's bond was established, and you could watch him sleep for hours. 
Coriolanus ran his finger down the side of his baby's face and down to his little belly, rubbing soothing circles to try and help him digest the milk. 
“He’s beautiful, isn’t he?” Coriolanus spoke to you but kept his gaze on his child. 
“Yes,” you agree. 
You wished your mother could see your baby. To hold him as is her right as a grandmother. You had wanted to ask Coriolanus, but you knew the answer. Still, you had to ask. Maybe he would be kinder to you after birthing his child. 
“Coriolanus, I was wondering if I might be able to take him back home to see my family?”
His eyes shot up at you. The answer was more than no, it was how dare you. 
“Don’t you ever ask me that again.” he seethes. 
You held little hope that he would agree so his denial hurt less. 
“Can we video call them?” you try to compromise.
“No,” his answer was hard and cold, “Put him in his bassinet and come back.” He commanded. 
Crassus’s bassinet was only at the end of your bed. Coriolanus wanted to keep him close. 
Your baby stirs as you gently pick him up but settles back into his mother's arms. He was so milk-drunk that the normal fight to set him into his bassinet was won with a gentle rock. 
You knew you were in trouble with Coriolanus. The only time you had wished that your baby fought sleep was so you could avoid Coriolanus’ wrath. 
He holds his tongue until you are back lying next to him. 
“I don’t want you speaking about your family ever again. I don’t want our son to know that you are District. Think about them if you must, but if you continue to speak about them, I will have them killed.” 
“They are my family,” you spat. 
“We are your family. Us. Your son and your husband.”
You get up from next to him, even though you know you shouldn’t. 
“Lay back down,” he demands. 
“I’ve done everything you have asked of me,” you snivel, “Gone to every event where they look at me like a trained animal. Cooked your meals, washed your clothes. Gave you a son, just like you wanted.” 
Your voice was wobbly and raised. The hormones that were still raging through your body from birth trapped you between uncontrollable sadness and an unquenchable fury. 
“Be quiet. You’ll wake Crassus,” Coriolanus scolded. 
“I don’t care!” You yell. 
Coriolanus looks to the bassinet at the end of the bed, expecting his son to wake, crying. 
All is silent. You lower your voice as you continue speaking. If you upset Crassus all conversation would stop. 
“Crassus doesn’t have to come. I can have a one-hour phone call a month without him. He doesn’t have to know, but I can’t live like this.” 
His eyes snapped to you as he lay in the bed. “Can’t live like this? I have given you a life so terrible that you can’t bear it?”
He rises from the bed, and you take a step back. You were in a bad condition after birth. There was no way you could defend yourself against him. 
“Nothing I do for you is ever good enough for you” he exclaims. His eyes squint at you but his voice is calm and collected, “You know how dangerous it was for me to help you in 12? A Commander, and a District girl. How that looked for me in my presidential run? But I didn’t care. From the day I met you, I have looked after you. And you want me to feel in debt to you, because why? You cook the food I give you? Wash the clothes I buy? Birthed a beautiful son that you never would have had without me.” 
“You didn’t ‘take care of me’, Coriolanus. You took me. I never asked for any of it. I want to go home to my family.”
Coriolanus stood across from you, his face unmoving and hard. 
“You’re right. Family is important,” he suddenly says. His face relaxes, and body unwinded. 
He moves quickly to the end of the bed where Crassus lies. 
“Your brother had a child. A little girl, named after you,” he rocks the bassinet gently despite his threatening words. 
“You want to see her? I can bring her here,” he taunts. 
“No,” you whisper. 
“No? All this talk of family, and the answer is no?’’ 
He looks down at his sleeping baby, checking for any signs of distress. 
“I could bring them all here. They could work in the presidential estate. You’re the only one who doesn’t have to earn their keep”.
You imagine them dressed in the same white uniforms as the other servants. How much control Coriolanus would have over their lives daily. 
“That’s not what I am asking,” you state. 
“You’re asking to have your family around you, and I couldn’t agree more. Unless you don’t consider them family?” 
“Well?” he pushes after a moment of silence. 
“No.”
“Who do you consider family then?”
“You and Crasuss,” you gave the answer he wanted to hear. 
“That’s right!” He cooed, running a hand over Crassus’s head, “Just us. All you need is us.”
He straightens once more, giving his full attention back to you. 
“I am not asking you to be grateful, but I will not allow you to be thankless,” he shoves his hands in his pockets in a casual manner. 
“You should sleep as he sleeps,” he suggests. He wanted the fight to be over, and the newborn bliss to continue. 
“Lay back down, and go to sleep. No more talk of Districts.”
He leaves you in the room with your son, retreating from any further fighting. 
You wondered if it was true. Did Archie have a baby? 
Some part of you hoped it was true, and that she would fill the void of you in their lives. Just as Crassus filled the void for you. 
—-----------
With the success of Crasuss, Coriolanus was eager to have another one. You were still getting used to motherhood. You weren’t sure if you could deal with this one, let alone another one. 
Coriolanus stayed home with you for the 40 days that you were supposed to be on bed rest. He was up late with work, and then during the night with Crasuss. 
He tried to give you as much rest as he could. But Crassus needed you for feedings, and sometimes he would only settle if he was in your arms. 
Coriolanus was unversed in assessing others' needs. He would bounce Crassus when he needed to be held, change his diaper when he needed to be fed, and give him toys that were too old for him. 
He couldn’t decipher his cries like you could, leaving him frustrated. 
You knew he tried, which was more than you expected of him. 
You wake from the sound of your son crying from what feels like a two second nap. Coriolanus tried to prolong it for you by trying to soothe the baby himself. 
“He needs to be burped,” you tell Coriolanus, “Put him up on your shoulder and pat his back.”
He had only just fed so you knew it was just tummy pain. 
Coriolanus does as you say. Crassus settles as he is put upright but no burp comes. 
“It’s not working,” Coriolanus panics. Every little thing the doctor was to be called to check it out. 
“Keep going,” you encourage. 
Coriolanus sighs in relief when Crassus lets out a little burp and returns to being a happy baby. 
“You’re good at this,” he commented, “ A natural.” 
He always knew you would be, but to see it in action filled him with great joy and admiration. 
You huff in response, closing your eyes to go back to sleep. 
Coriolanus had to go back to his usual duties, leaving you with the full responsibilities of being a mother. 
It was overwhelming to have no one else to talk to but a baby. You spent your days in the apartment which drove you crazy. 
You eye the door. Coriolanus never told you to stay in the apartment. It was just an assumption you made. You knew you would never get outside of the gates, but you would settle for the gardens. 
With your baby in your arms, you cautiously twist the knob. 
There is no booby trap as you step out. No alarm rings. So you continue your journey. 
You vaguely remember the way from when you were out of the apartment with Coriolanus. 
A maid was polishing the wood of the staircase you needed to go down. You curse but try to act casual as you approach her. 
“Mrs. Snow,” the maid seemed surprised to see you, ��Can I do something for you?” 
“No. I am just going to the gardens,” you justify. 
You walk quickly away from her. You hear her calling your name but you don’t stop. 
The house is large and echos as you make your way across it. The entrance out into the gardens was almost hidden. 
You wanted to run, but you were careful not to shake your baby too much. 
The big door comes into view. A sense of excitement and apprehension overcame you. You had never been outside of the Presidential quarters without Coriolanus. Now you were stepping outside. It felt as if you were gaining some independence back. 
When you open the door, you are confronted with a Peacekeeper, who stands aside out of your way. 
You thank him as you move past him, but he follows wordlessly as you cross the field. 
The maid had called the Peacekeeper on you, who called Coriolanus on you, and Coriolanus had told the Peacekeeper to keep an eye on what you were doing.
You find a spot under a tree in the lowest field, the Peacekeeper stands ten feet away to give you and your baby some privacy. 
You play with your baby in the short grass. He liked the feeling of it.
Some maids come, bringing a picnic blanket, and a glass of lemonade. 
You thank them although you wanted none of their assistance. 
Crassus has some tummy time listening to the birds. You lay back on the grass and watch the sun as it goes down. It was comforting to know that your mother and brother would be looking at the same sun. As far away as they were, at least something still connected you. 
You tell Crassus about them and he babbles back as if he was trying to talk. You tell him about Edmund in the prime of his life. You don’t discuss Edmund’s death or his father's involvement. 
You begin to explain District 12 to him just as the sun disappears behind the trees, when you hear the Peacekeeper stand to attention in greeting. You shut up immediately.
“It’s time to come inside” Coriolanus’s voice is heard. 
He picks his son up and places him on his shoulder after a quick kiss. 
You get up with the blanket and cup as you follow him back to the house. 
Coriolanus takes the items from you and gives them to the Peacekeeper in passing. 
“Look at this,” Coriolanus pulls out a small doll from his pocket,  “A senator's little girl gave it to me. She was so cute. We should try for a girl next.” 
You still had four weeks before the doctor gave you the go-ahead to engage in intercourse. But you knew Coriolanus would push the limits on that time frame. 
“I want to wait at least a year before another one,” you tell him. 
It already was so difficult, you wouldn’t survive having to care for another one. 
“No,” Coriolanus protested, “I would like a girl before the years out.”
You knew how obsessive Coriolanus could be when he had a thought trapped in his head. You also knew that nothing you said was going to change his mind. 
You wait until Crassus is asleep, and your shift with Coriolanus starts. 
He was waiting for you like he usually is. After Crassus was asleep, it was his turn to have his wife. 
He had opened a bottle of wine and was flicking through the tv channels. It surprised him when you dropped to your knees in front of him. 
Your hands reach for his trousers, and he eagerly helps you to take them off. During pregnancy he didn’t want to force you to do anything, thinking that it might harm the baby. After he was born, there was a recovery period that he had to wait through. It left Coriolanus pent up and hungry for your touch. 
Your lips were warm on him and worked so well. 
After all of your experience, you knew what Coriolanus liked. You swatted his hands off you as he tried to take control. He relents, bringing his hands to his thighs in a tight grip. 
You feel it grow in your mouth with your attention. It twitches under your tongue and you knew it as a sign he was close.
Just as he is reaching his high, you drag your lips back and off. 
He gasps as you do, throwing his head back onto the couch. 
“What are you doing?” He groans. He was irritated, which was not your desired effect. 
“Crassus turns one before another baby,” you demand. 
His hands curl into the couch as he counters, “Eight months.” 
You move to get up but his hands stop you, “Okay, okay, a year. Just finish.” He begs. 
You do finish him off, with the smug satisfaction that Coriolanus Snow is just a man. 
The day Crassus turns one, Coriolanus keeps you to your bargain. 
Coriolanus was determined to have a girl. Clothes and bows had already been brought. 
While Capitol technology allowed you to artificially change the sex of your baby, Coriolanus was more interested in conceiving the natural way. 
He researched old myths to increase his chances, and he tried all of them. 
He made you drink lemon juice before sex. He initiated sex on even days of the week. You were on a diet of fish, eggs, and vegetables. And you had to leave your legs raised for a couple of minutes after he was finished. 
You were slow to conceive like you were with Crassus. But one of the old wives' tales worked, for nearly nine months after Crassus turned one, you fell pregnant with a baby girl. 
You named her Aurora meaning dawn. A silent homage to your family back home, and the sun that connects you. 
—-------------------- 
Having children strangely settled you. You had five children in total within years of each other.  Your fifth child was your last. After you had lost too much blood during the birth of your next boy, Coriolanus put off plans to have a sixth. It scared him, seeing you so pale, laying half dead in a bed like his mother. The goal of children was to bring you closer, not to use you up. 
They gave your life purpose and little room to think about anything else but their needs. As they grew, you got more freedom to explore the city. Always under an army of guards. Coriolanus wanted them to have a full life, even if it meant granting you  access to be far from him. 
His children were not to miss out on anything the Capitol had to offer. Their names were on the top of the list for any attractions, child star concerts, and plays. The world was at their fingertips, and you got to experience Capitol life through them. 
He went when he could but his work was demanding. In his absence, a team of Peacekeepers escorted you and your kids around the Capitol. 
Despite his many faults, Coriolanus was a doting father. His children were first, sometimes before you. Where once his hold was tight around you all night, now you wake to find that one of your children had escaped their bed and taken your place. 
You always worried about his temper. He hasn’t hit you in years. You figure it was partly because you gave him little reason to, and partly because if you weren’t physically holding a child in your arms, you had one in your belly. 
But as your children grew would they be in the same danger as you if they acted out?
They all had the signature blonde hair of a Snow, but only the firstborn had Coriolanus’s blue eyes. Your other two boys and girls had your eyes. Something to tell you that they weren’t all Coriolanus. 
Date night normally consisted of an official event. They were far and few between as Coriolanus preferred you to be home with the babies. He disliked nannies but conceded to their usefulness. 
Tonight was a charity event to raise money for a new public swimming pool. Vapid and silly. At this stage, only Crassus and Aurona were born to be left crying as you tried to leave for the event. 
They were not used to being parted from you, and you were not used to being parted from them. 
“It’s okay,” you hush, “Mummy will be back soon, and she will check on you.”
Aurora was too young to know what your words meant. Her only cue that something was wrong was Crassus as he screamed. 
“No, Mummy, no!” His face was bright red from tears. You worried that he was short on breath from his screaming. 
He knew when you dressed up, you were leaving. He was four but a smart little thing.  As soon as the stylist crew arrived, his meltdown began. 
You held him as they did your hair and make-up, trying to soothe him. Coriolanus was still at work. All he needed to do was change his suit when he arrived home. 
He arrived home to chaos he could not settle. 
He stood behind you, watching as your son tried to tug off your elbow-length glove. 
“It’s alright, it’s okay. Mum will be back,” you promise. 
Aurora throws her head back, throwing her body off balance in your hold. 
The two nannies try to gain the kids' attention by holding out new toys, and calling out to them. 
“Once you leave they will settle,” one of the nannies promised. 
With teary eyes, you kiss both of your crying children, Coriolanus does the same, and Aurora is handed over. 
Crassus’s little hands claw onto your dress, he has to be picked up and yanked away by his nanny. 
You try not to let your tears fall as you walk to the car. It would ruin your make-up, and once you started to cry, you weren’t sure you would be able to stop. 
“They will be fine,” Coriolanus promises on the way to the event. 
“Why do I have to go tonight?” It was a silly thing that would survive without you. 
“Because you’re my wife. That’s why.”
Despite many years in the Capitol, events like this reminded you that you don’t belong. 
People would only talk to you in an attempt to gain an audience with Coriolanus. 
You would remain civil but not overly friendly. 
They all thought you were shy and timid as you were rarely seen, and always by Coriolanus’s side. 
Your relationship with Coriolanus had changed over the years but his overprotectiveness never dissolved.
His hand was always on you in some form. Where he went, you went. Who he talked to, you talked to. You were only an extension of him in public. At least at home, you were your own person to your kids. 
Tonight it seemed to all children. Only one person spoke to you apart from Coriolanus. 
It was a little girl, who passed you a flower in thanks. The public pool didn’t seem so silly in your eyes anymore. You bent down to talk to her, thanking her for the flower. You asked her about school and her siblings. You told her about your own children who were too young to attend a party like her. 
You were disappointed when her nanny came to collect her. She scolds the child for running away and bothering the President. 
Tucking the flower behind your ear, you blow the girl a kiss as she is carted off.
The rest of the night was dull as you acted as Coriolanus’s shadow. 
Coriolanus had just finished a speech on stage, you were walking back down the hallway to the party with him. You passed a few people running the events. They tried to talk to him, but he seemed in a rush. 
He turns off the direction of the party, and tugs you down an empty hallway. 
You ask him what he is doing as he checks the doors until he finds one that is opened and ushers you inside. It was a supply closest. Small and smelling slightly damp. 
He pushes you up against the wall, knocking over a broom and a bucket. 
“You’re such a good mother. Such a good little wife. I don’t tell you that enough,” he says. 
“Okay,” you respond, pushing back on his shoulders. 
“I love you so much.” He kisses you so hard, that your head is knocked painfully back into the cement wall. 
It reminded you of the harsh and needy kisses he used to give you as a Commander.
You feel his hands slide up your dress and grip the flesh of your butt. 
“Coriolanus, not here,” you beg. 
His lips go to your throat in slow, sexual kisses.
“I want another baby,” he requests. 
“Not here. Someone could find us.” 
“Not if you are quiet.” 
“Coryo,” You try. A bit too loud for this liking. He clamps a hand over your mouth, and shushes you with a hard look that tells you he was serious. 
“It would not look good if they found the President and First Lady fucking in a closet.”
He kneels on the floor in front of you, going under your dress and up your legs, bringing down your underwear. 
You feel him put his mouth on you, and you try to relax. It took you months to fall pregnant the last two times. This time wasn’t anything special. 
His fingers dig into the back of your thighs, keeping you close as he works. 
Soon a lapping sound is heard, and Coriolanus leaves your cunt with a kiss.
You try one more time to dissuade him. Telling him to wait until home. But he unbuckles his belt and hoists you up around his waist. 
Your arms circle his shoulders as he pins you to the wall.
You can feel how hard he is against your heat. He bucks up against your wetness in desperation before he lines himself up properly. 
You engulf him in your wetness as he thrusts his hips up into you. 
With no way to hold yourself up, you feel yourself sink and then be thrusted up into.
“Are you going to give me a baby?” He grunts.
He is fast and rough as he slams up into you. His words were heard but your mind was far from them.  
“Yeah?” He teases. His lips go to your neck again, trapping you head against the wall. 
He seemed to continuously hit the spot that you liked, no matter how you moved your hips. 
The pressure means you come too quickly. Coriolanus was nowhere close so would continue. 
You can’t help to groan as he fucks you through your orgasm. 
He reminds you to be quiet once more, and you bite his shoulder to stop the sounds you couldn’t stop coming. 
He knew you had come from the way you clenched around him. 
Taking the back of your neck, he leans you into his shoulder and wraps an arm around your waist. 
He delivers you to the floor, releasing you gently into the tight confines of the cluttered room.
“Think you can manage another one?” He asks. 
You shake your head ‘No’, your words failed you as he continued his brutal pace. 
“I think you could,” he states. 
He uses two fingers to circle your pearl as he drives into you.
The door had no lock. Anyone could open it and see you. 
You were being too loud. You knew you were. But he forced the sounds from you. Your whole body tingled under his touch, your legs shook with pleasure. 
He was not being entirely quiet himself. He grunted and shutters above you feeling his own end coming. 
You feel him twitch in your preceding his exploding into you. 
He beats you but doesn’t stop swirling his fingers, determined to have you finish again. 
You come too loudly causing Coriolanus to cover your mouth with an open palm and look to the door, expecting detection. 
His hand is pulled and with a kiss, Coriolanus pulls back on his ankles with a stupid grin. 
He uses your panties to clean up the excess cum from you before placing the underwear back on you. 
If you had any energy, you would have taken them back off but all you could do was lie there, watching him transform back into a respectable gentleman. 
“We have to get back out there before they send Peacekeepers looking for us.” 
He finishes tucking his shirt back into his pants before reaching down to help you to your feet. 
You’re a little wobbly at first but Coriolanus keeps a firm grip to keep you upright. 
You spend the rest of the fundraiser with damp panties and shaky legs which causes you to bump into Coriolanus as he stands next to you. 
The stupid grin never leaves his face, even in the car ride home. 
Your children are asleep when you arrive home. 
You leave them with a kiss, before going back to your room and rushing to beat Coriolanus to bed while he is occupied going through the messages left for him. 
He joins you in the shower but it’s quick and with the intention of going to bed. 
He talks about the night. Recalling things he enjoyed and disliked. 
He asks you what you think but you shrug. All Capitol events were the same to you. 
You finish your shower while Coriolanus washes his hair. Giving you time to dress and get into bed before him. 
You roll to your side, hoping that the supply closet tryst fulfilled him enough. 
You feel him as he moves in the bed to come over to your side, his arm wraps around your shoulder and his head rests against yours. 
“We should take the kids to the zoo tomorrow. I’ll have it cleared out.”
“Okay,” you reply, knowing that there wasn’t any other option. 
The zoo was large, and there were too many animals to see before nap time. 
Crassus got whiny and tired from all the walking and climbing on things. He demanded to be carried. Instead of using his words, he would scream when he got sick of looking at the same animal. 
Normally you would have returned home to put him down for a nap, but Coriolanus enjoyed having his son rest on his shoulder. Crassus was a mommy’s boy and very rarely wanted to be held by anyone else. 
It was not your first time at the zoo. You had taken Crassus while you were six months pregnant with Aurora. It still amazed you, however. You could spend hours just looking and learning about the animals, but Crassus was lucky to push a five hour awake period. 
It was a blessing to visit the penguins where the sound of the gentle flowing water, and cool air sent him to sleep on Coriolanus' shoulder. 
You pushed the pram that Aurora was asleep in as you and Coriolanus searched for a comfortable resting place.
Finding a canopy, you sit with your family in the shade. Coriolanus had successfully transferred Crassus from his shoulder to the bench with his head resting on his father's thigh. 
Coriolanus’s other leg went out to gently rock the pram with his expensive shoe. 
You lay back resting your eyes yourself. Crassus had woken you up from a nightmare. With him in your bed, you got very little sleep as he tossed and spread out. 
Coriolanus disturbs your peace by reaching out to place a hand on your stomach as if there was something already inside. 
“What do you think it will be?” he asks. 
“We don’t know there is anything in there.” 
Coriolanus had wanted you to take a test this morning but it was chaos trying to get the children ready for the day. 
“I don’t care what it is myself. I was thinking Marcellus for a boy, and Lillian for a girl”. 
You cry at the thought of being pregnant again. It was a horrible experience. It was uncomfortable, tiring, and you suffered great nausea all throughout the nine months. That's all before the recovery period while you run around after two other children.
“Hey,” his voice is soft and reassuring. He stops rocking the pram to reach his hand to yours. 
The hand that wasn’t captured by Coriolanus went to your mouth to quieten your blathering. You were always cautious about what the children saw.
“If it’s too much I’ll let you get a nanny to help during the day” he offers. 
You rip your hand out from under him in anger, “I don’t want a nanny.” 
You didn’t trust Capitol people to be around your children. Only when you were forced to where you parted from them. They were too young. They needed their mother. 
“You’re tired,” he pandered. His hand wraps around your shoulder to pull you down to his lap. You rest your head on his thigh like your son, and find your eyes shut by themselves. 
You feel his fingers itch your head until you are asleep. Coriolanus waits until your breath evens before returning to rock the pram with his hand. With his arm rested over his oldest child, and his hand lulling his baby girl to sleep, Coriolanus felt a swell of pride.  
His family slept under his protection and lead. Pamen had entered into a new golden age. All paths led him here. 
You woke to the sound of Aurona crying which woke and upset Crassus. 
On instinct, you shoot up from Coriolanus to retrieve your baby girl. She needed to be fed again, but Crassus was now rejecting Coriolanus’s hold, wanting to be picked up by you. 
You oblige him when his face starts to turn red from crying. You feel their tears on either side of your collarbones. Their screams rang in your ear. 
Coriolanus stretches his dead legs, slowly easing himself up to place a hand on Crassus' back.
“Let's get ice cream,” he bribes. 
Crasuss turns his head to look at his father and nods.
With a bright smile, Coriolanus claps his hands together before opening them wide, “Come to daddy?” He asks. 
You never let him get ice cream at the zoo. It was too close to nap time. So with the promise Crassus eagerly goes into his father's arms. 
At the ice cream shop you could feed Aurona but it took far longer than normal with the anxiety that you were pregnant with your third. Something told you that you were.
It was a boy. A gorgeous baby boy. Doll was your nickname for him, but Coriolanus officially names him Adrianus. He cried very little, and at six weeks old he slept through the night. He latched easily, and from 3 to 4 in the afternoon, he would laugh insatiably at everything. He was a dream child. You were very happy with him, despite his initial undesired conception. 
Life settled for a little bit as Coriolanus worked to quell a quiet rebellion brewing in the Districts. 
For a year Coriolanus was kept busy. His mind off expanding his family. 
For the moment he was happy with the three wonderful kids you had given him. Something you could share. Three young kids, five and under,  left you exhausted by the end of the day, yet when the day was over and the kids were asleep, Coriolanus demanded your attention. 
Coriolanus was not immune to jealousy even from his own kids. You had learnt to give him enough attention during the day when he was around but it only starved him off until night time. He rarely talked about work. Only upcoming events that concern you. He was more interested in you recounting every single thing the kids did. 
After having the kids hang off you all day, your least favorite thing to do was have Coriolanus all over you. But when it was his time, he followed you everywhere you went. Insisting that you sat on the couch with him for an hour. He didn’t feel like it was much, but you felt as if it was the last bit of energy zapped out of you. 
You normally got a break when Coriolanus returned home from work. He started early so normally he was home in the late afternoon. While you had lots of staff to help you with chores and cooking, you preferred to do it yourself. It gave you a routine that you could go auto-pilot on. 
From five to six every day you were in your kitchen while Coriolanus watched the children. Capitol food took some getting used to. Half of the meat you had never even seen before. Coriolanus organized cooking lessons to help you as a Mother’s Day gift. 
Dinner was often followed by free play if they weren’t too messy, allowing you time to feed Adrianus. It was important that he had your full attention as you fed as he was so quiet that you might miss a cue of his discomfort. 
Crassus sat coloring at the kitchen table while you were in the kitchen trying to feed your youngest boy, Adrianus, who had just turned one
Coriolanus sat next to his son watching as your daughter Aurora showed off her expensive ball gown that her father had brought her simply because she wanted it. ‘No’ was not in Coriolanus’s vocabulary when it came to his children. 
He held out accessories in his palm for her as she explained what they were and where they went. 
Despite ruling a country with an iron fist, at home, it was you who disciplined the children. He let them run wild, while you tried to raise them to be respectable, and moral children. Your work mostly paid off. They were good children. 
Aurora having free reign over her father and older brother, who both bent over backwards to please her, was spoiled. Her tantrums were something you were yet to stop, but she was sweet when not disappointed which was more often than not. 
She only had to cry and Coriolanus would pick her up, giving her what she wanted. It annoyed you to no end. If your marriage was equal, you would push more for him to discipline the kids, but Coriolanus only ever gave you the illusion of partnership. 
“Mummy, how did you meet Daddy?” Crassus asks out of nowhere as he draws. 
The small spoon in your hand drops to the floor as memories that you had buried spring up. The stalking, the harassment, the loss of freedom. You remember the late nights as your mother cried out from pain from the flogging that he ordered. 
“Mummy used to own a cake shop, and Daddy would go by every morning before University to buy one.” Coriolanus answered for you. He reaches out and brushes Crassus' hair lovingly. 
“Dad, you can’t have cake for breakfast!” Aurora exclaimed. 
“Oh, but I did! Your mother would make them special for me.” 
You close your eyes remembering the words, ‘Can you make me some more of those oat bars.’ A demand, not a gesture on your behalf. You remember the hard wall behind you as he pressed you there. Just the thought of it brought your heart back into your throat as if it was happening all over again.
“She doesn’t let me have cake for breakfast!” Aurora complained. Tears sprang to her eyes causing Crassus to push a lollypop you had given him for eating his dinner across the table, trying to fight off his sister's tears. 
Coriolanus picks her up from the floor and places her on his knee so she can cry into his arms. 
“Darling, these are special cakes. Ones you give to someone you want to marry.” 
You remember the cakes you used to make Edmund. Edmund, you hadn’t thought about him in years, yet the scar on your heart never healed. 
“Not growing little girls.” Still, your daughter cried, which displeased Coriolanus. 
He rises from the table with Aurora in his arms and heads into the fridge. 
“Let's see if Mum baked any for you”. 
Your youngest son begins to cry from hunger which snaps you out of your spiraling. With your daughter receiving a cupcake and your son resuming feeding, the room is calm once more. But your hand shook as your mind flooded with memories of Commander Snow. 
Moments later, Crassus presented you with a picture of two stick figures surrounded by out-of-proportion cupcakes. You stared at it with the weight of your baby resting on your hip. 
Just like that Coriolanus had rewritten history. Commander Snow was a distant dream. District 12 a vague thought. Lucy Gray no longer haunted the woods. No longer made Coriolanus Snow the victor of the 10th Hunger Games. The war scar had faded. He had fixed history’s mistakes. 
He had taken his rightful place as President of Pamen. Only you were left to remember him as Commander Snow. 
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The end!
Thank you all for reading, and coming along for the journey. Especially to those who commented and motivated me to write. This story would not have been complete without you.
A HUGE thank you to @hotline-to-hell for editing the work, and restructuring the mess.
And a HUGE thank you to @thaleleah and (who i assume is the same) anon who took the time out to encourage me with their long, and hilarious feedback.
Hope to see you all in my other works!
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starsintheskyandtheeye · 5 days ago
Text
Respect for the Dead
By Lois Lane and Clark Kent
1,436 words
By now most of the world has been shaken by the news.
Ghosts are real! And ghosts are in danger! The original publication written by Lois Lane can be found here but we are not here to follow that well trodden avenue of discussion.
Here at the Daily Planet we have elected to focus on speaking to the ghosts themselves, rather than debate their existence alongside our fellow papers. During the hunt for the new source of Kryptonite that sparked this discovery Lois Lane made contact with one Danny Phantom. Originally he chose to anonymous but since the outpouring of support from much of the world he has since chosen to come forward publicly.
Given that the ghostly teenager is operating as a hero similar to our own Superman much of his personal history could not be shared. What was safe to share however was very different from what this reporting team had been expecting.
We had gone in prepared to hear the story of what caused a ghost that looks like a schoolboy to lead a life of ghostly vigilantism.
What we got was sweetly sarcastic individual giving us amusing anecdotes of his start as a hero, descriptions of the stranger habits he's gained since his death, and many many tips on how to politely interact with a ghost. At our confusion (who knew there were so many different types of ghost!) Phantom went on to explain and correct several common misconceptions about ghosts. So without further ado; here are the highlights of that discussion.
We begin with what was given to us as the number one rule of human/ghost etiquette. Never ask the individual, be they glowing werewolf, ghostly lunch-lady, or undead rock star, about the circumstances of their death.
It seems simple does it not? A matter of everyday politeness, and yet that is the number one reason for communication breakdowns between ectoplasmic entities and still living humans. Fortunately for the health of the interview this reporting team did not make that mistake. Phantom did not explain the nature of the offense but did not need to. It was clear that the, until then, friendly conversation would have ended abruptly if we had gone any farther down that path.
What we were encouraged (and warned) to talk to a ghost about was their obsession. As Phantom explained, "It's what drives a ghost, why we are still here, or why we formed at all."
When asked about his own obsession Phantom laughed a bit and said, "I'm a bit young for a ghost, so I don't really have one yet, I bounce around a lot. My doctor, he's a yeti, says it's normal for me though! The options are all over the place though. I know one ghost that haunts the high school to prevent bullying, a really nice guy. Another just wants to have her music heard by the world. Unfortunately her music brainwashes people to love her so we aren't super close. Or another that is all about granting wishes, but not in a singing blue genie way, in a fairy tale way, it's a mess whenever she gets over here."
That seems to be a common theme in ghostly/human interaction. Ghosts largely mean no harm but the pursuit of their own obsessions can have devastating effects on any that stand between them and their goal. Something to keep in mind if you're ordering pizza when the Box Ghost is at large.
Hoping it wouldn't cross into the realm of ghostly faux pas we went on to ask how old Phantom is. Once again Phantom seemed somewhat awkward although no more than what seemed to be his baseline when talking to (self claimed) famous reporters, saying only, "Time works differently in the realms. It can be really weird sometimes, you'll be talking to someone that looks like a toddler only to learn that they were last in a human world during the 1400s or something."
As Phantom continued to share however, the everlasting aspect seemed to be the least interesting part of the Infinite Realms, or the Ghost Zone as the Doctors Fenton, previously mentioned as ghostly experts here, call the place where the vast majority of ghosts dwell.
Ghostly yetis practicing medicine, while certainly not the least of the inhabitants were just the start. Phantom went on to share with us a sampling of the being he has encountered in his travels, medieval women moonlighting as temperamental dragons, the very concept of time, a warden of any ghosts that cross his path, and of course the ubiquitous creepy toddler so often featured on the silver screen.
According to Phantom up until extremely recently (whether by ghostly or human terms we were unable to determine) the Infinite Realms was closed off from our own home except for the occasional haunting. Which was explained to us by the telling of what was, to Phantom, a very funny joke about pop culture influencing ghost culture as people died and brought it over with them. From this we can glean several things. That the realms of the living and the dead have never been so far apart as it would have seemed to the living. That the near future will hold many changes as major religions, governments, and the common people hear what the dead have to say as they weigh in on what respect for the dead really means. And that while many things do translate, ghostly humor is not one of them.
Although of course that may be that, despite his real age being possibly many times our own - combined, Phantom is still eternally a teenager. And a teenagers jokes are often incomprehensible to any who do not share that state.
When asked about the sudden ghostly interest in our own living Earth Phantom had this to say, "Lots of ghosts want to go to the lands of the living. Especially anyone that used to be alive themselves. And anyone that didn't is curious what the fuss is about. Earth is so different from the ghost zone but it's still where a lot of us came from. If someone gets a chance to hop through the portal they'll go, to see how things have changed, or to keep things from changing, or just to stretch their obsessions. Really it's a chance to go home, just for a little while," he said, reminding us that for all they look like aliens ghosts are just as human as you or I.
With a few caveats.
The portal Phantom spoke of is an invention by the Doctors Fenton, Ectobiologists. Up until recently Jack and Maddie Fenton had been the worlds foremost ghostly experts, building a portal to the "Ghost Zone" in order to study what up until recently had been considered to be a non-sentient classification of emotional ectoplasmic imprintation.
We spoke to the researchers after our interview with Phantom, at his request. Despite the recent evidence come to light the couple remain the foremost (living) human scientists in the field. When asked about the setback to their work they had this to say, "We were devastated of course. To learn that we won't be able to study spooks -" Jack Fenton broke off there, at an extremely well executed elbow jab from Maddie Fenton who then said. "We got an extreme tunnel vision, a hazard of obsessive science. We were told we were wrong about the existence of ghosts for so long that we forgot to check that we were correct about their nature. We look forward to pivoting to ghostly anthropology and human/ghost interaction technology."
Ultimately we did not learn any groundbreaking secrets, but then if a ghost willing to go on record ( a written record at least, our recorded transcript of the conversation was near unusable due to static) you sit down and listen. We can never anticipate what a reader will take from an article but if we could make a suggestion? In this reporting teams opinion, the balance of ghost and human realms is not unlike the inversion of a mirror. We are reflections of one another. Opposite, yes, and dangerous to one another for it, but ultimately we are all the same. After all what is a ghost but emotion and ectoplasm (according to current science)? And for all that we try to rise above it, what is a human but emotion and flesh?
Fin.
Coming Soon!
Keep an eye out for top ten tips on ghostly interaction and interviews with the Justice League on diplomatic efforts with GHOSTLY ROYALTY!!
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zafirosreverie · 3 months ago
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Call the exorcist (Agatha x F!Reader)
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For @roseclear
a/n: I haven't watch the show, I just know the basics, so sorry for any plot mistakes.
Spoilers for the ending
______________
Your life was chaotic. From the moment you met that damn charming, chaotic and slightly evil (well, very evil) witch, your whole world did a 180.
From one day to the next, magic was not only something possible, but little by little, it became something common in your life. Something you got so used to that you thought nothing could surprise you anymore.
Rule number one of being married to a witch: Agatha Harkness can always surprise you.
You weren't stupid, you knew she didn't tell you absolutely everything, that there were parts of her past she would never tell you, that they were completely buried and she planned to keep them that way. Not that it bothered you, if you were honest. 300 years of life had to have hard moments, and you decided that you wouldn't push her any further than she felt comfortable sharing you.
Still, that damn woman always managed to give you gray hairs, and you were sure that one of these days she would put you in an early grave. But you still loved her, more than life itself.
______________
The first scare was when she disappeared to go to Westview. You had a hard time getting in touch with her, and she only gave you a hasty and poorly structured explanation about chaos magic before sending you back home.
A week later, Maximoff's escape and what she had done to the town was reported on the news. You came back as quickly as you could, but you couldn't do anything. You were forced to watch your wife live as Agnes for 3 years, powerless and weak to bring her back.
Then the boy showed up. Billy Maximoff, or at least a variant of him? A reincarnation? The truth was that you didn't quite understand, nor did you care. The only important thing was that Agatha was back. And with her, chaos. Of course.
God forbid you have a second of peace with your wife.
The coven, Rio, Billy, everything was too confusing, too much for your mortal mind to understand in all the details how quickly the situation was changing, and Agatha, in the middle of it all, the central pillar, was not much help.
You knew she didn't tell you everything, but that she had gotten involved with death or that she had a child should have been some of the things she could have tell you, right? At least you thought that something like that should be important enough to tell her new wife.
You hadn't even finished assimilating all that when your witch, always chaotic and without explanations, kissed Rio, lady death, to save Billy. You didn't even have time to say goodbye to her, or to assimilate that, just like that, from one moment to the next, you had become a widow.
You didn't think you had known greater pain in your life. Knowing that your wife, the woman you loved, as imperfect, chaotic and evil as she was, was no longer there, broke your heart. You couldn't even stay there for long, you went back home as soon as you could, desperate that everything was a damn nightmare, that when you opened your eyes, Agatha would be there, with that infuriating but beautiful smile that you loved so much, ready for a new chaos.
But no matter how many times you woke up, reality was still there. Agatha was dead, you were alone. And your wife wasn't coming back.
_______________
…until she did.
________________
You calmly stepped into the shower, allowing the hot water to wash away the stress of the day, the worries and sorrows. You allowed yourself to close your eyes and focus for a moment on the feeling of the water against your skin, the warmth of the steam and-
"AGATHA!!!" you screamed as you jumped up, and your wife still had the nerve to laugh.
It had been less than a week since Agatha Harkness had come back into your life, ready to turn it upside down again. At first, you thought you had finally lost your mind (sometimes you still thought that it was the case, to be honest), when the ghost of your dead wife appeared in the middle of the living room.
However, in true Agatha fashion, she began to cause all kinds of mischief around the house, moving things around, disarranging things, and giving you those damn kisses that you still couldn't decide if you loved or not. And that was all you needed to know that yes, your wife was back. In the form of a pile of ectoplasm with too much time on her hands and too eager to take you to the grave too, but she was back.
"Come on sweetie, you can't blame me" she laughed, floating closer to you "you know I've never been able to resist your…charms"
You shivered as her fingers, cold and not quite physical, ran down your lower back. Before you could protest, Agatha kissed you deeply. Kisses with her were very strange now, to say the least.
Not that they bothered you, you just still had to get used to the feeling of kissing an ice cube that you couldn't really touch but was at the same time as real as yourself. You never imagined kissing a ghost, but here you were, proving once again how much you loved this woman even in death.
"You're a menace" you said as she pulled away
"But I'm your menace" she smirked
"…we said 'till death do us part', why are you still here?" you crossed your arms, covering your naked body a little
"Oh darling" she laughed and caressed your cheek with those icy fingers "it's cute how you really thought death would rid you of me. No, my love, you're mine, in this and every life after"
Something in her tone and the way her ghostly fingers gripped your chin, told you that she really planned to keep that promise. And you couldn't help but smile.
"That's cute, my love" you said "…but get out of my shower right now"
"Oh come on" she laughed "I've seen you how tou came into the world many times"
"Agatha!" you shivered as you felt her icy fingers on your lower back again
"Yes?" She smiled like the Cheshire Cat
"I love you" you said "but if you don't let me take A FUCKING SHOWER IN PEACE, I'M GOING TO CALL A PRIEST AND EXORCISE THE DAMN HOUSE!!"
And of course, that damn beautiful, charming, chaotic and slightly evil (well, very evil) witch that you loved more than life itself, had the nerve to laugh.
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ry3breadl0rd · 1 year ago
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some titles uncle rick deprived us of
”I Fall To My Death (Again)” for the fall into tartarus
“I Get Mugged by Monsters” that one chapter where leo’s tool belt gets stolen
“Jason Meets his Brother” hercules chapter
“I Obtain A Death Ray” the sphere thing
“Leo Makes a Great First Impression” when he blows up new rome
“I Scare Some Pirates With An Unofficial Sponsorship” that chapter where percy scares off the pirates with diet coke
“A Spider Hates My Mom” annabeth at any point with arachne ngl
“Scrawny Is The New Sizzling Hot” leo+hazel with narcissus
“We Get Slapped to New York” zeus smacking the argo ll to new york
“Nyx Gives Us A Tour” when they convince nyx to not murder them immediately by pretending they’re tourists
“My Evil Great-Grand Mother Wakes Up” self explanatory i hope
“Hazel Orders A Horse From Amazon” hazel meets arion
“I Get Blasted Out Of This World” leo goes to ogygia
“Fleecy Does Us A Solid” when they meet iris
“I Tame A Dragon” leo with argo
“I Vaporize Some Old Ladies” first chapter of son
“I Give My Dad Some Decor Tips” nico and hades conversation
“Piper Talks Her Boyfriend To Life” when piper charm speaks jason back to life
“I Play Roulette With A Blind Man” when percy drinks the gorgons blood
“Piper Sees Dead People (In Her Knife)” i might be remembering wrong but it’s that one where they try to trick piper by showing her how her friends were doing in her knife, like trying to convince her they were all dead
“We Use Adidas To Summon A Goddess” nike chapter
“Mudman, Hazel, and Frank Get Brunch” when they get to alaska
“I Learn The Power Of Positivity” percy and misery
“We Meet A Cool Girl (Literally)” khione chapter
“I’m Leo. You Killed My Mother. It’s My Turn” based on the funny comment:) it’s for when leo blows up gaea
“My Nosebleed Wakes Up My Great-Grandma” when gaea wakes up
“Mr. D Hates Ballet” when he helps percy and jason against the twin giants
“Frank Gets A Blast To The Past” when hazel shares her past with him
“Frank Sets Himself On Fire” with the firewood and freeing thatanos
“I Got A Girlfriend?” jason first chapter
”Why Did It Have To Be Poison?” that chapter with polybotes
“Jason Becomes The Oldest Demigod!” old man jason
“Game Night Goes Too Far” war games in son
“The World Hates Us, Literally” hoh when they’re low key attacked by like everything
“We Traumatize Frank” when percabeth gets caught together
“Lions, and Tigers, and Frank, Oh My!” when frank unlocks his shapeshifting stuff
“I Aquire a Misfortune Cookie” i might be delulu but didn’t nemesis omfg i knew that why did i put nike give leo a fortune cookie to open if he needed help?? but price would not be fun
“The Law is On My Side For Once” percy and terminus vs polybotes
“Being A Dumb Blonde Has Its Perks” annabeth when she drops the knife that one chapter
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aphroditelovesu · 9 months ago
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Yan!Alexander the Great w/ Soldier's Pregnant Widow!Reader
❝ 📜 — lady l: this is a commission that I was very happy to do! I'm sorry for the delay, I confess that I had forgotten this in my drafts and only remembered it after reading your messagem, anon! I hope you enjoy it and, as requested, it is more based on Alexander's feelings for the Reader. Forgive me for any mistakes! ❤️
❝tw: mention of death, mourning. pregnancy and fluff.
❝📜pairing: yandere!alexander the great x female!reader.
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You were the wife of one of Alexander's cavalry soldiers who, unlike many other soldiers' wives, decided to accompany him to war. You loved your husband deeply and did not want to be separated from him.
Your husband also loved you deeply. He wasn't a general or a high-ranking officer, but your husband tried to make you as comfortable as possible in this violent environment. He was loyal to you, something rare but one you appreciated. You loved him with everything in you.
Until the day you lost him. During the Battle of Granicus, your husband died in battle and your world collapsed. You had lost the man you loved and it felt like an endless road. Alexander, being the beloved King that he was, buried the dead soldiers with the necessary honors and spoke to the wives present in the camp. And one of them was you.
Alexander was immediately enchanted by you. He was surprised at how you handled your grief, clearly you loved your husband very much and the pain of the loss you felt captivated him. He didn't take long to approach you subtly at first.
Alexander was kind and protective, offering his condolences and staying by your side. His words were kind and his discreet smiles were reserved just for you. More observant people didn't take long to notice the King's interest in you, but they never dared to say anything, not when they knew his temperament.
You found yourself lost in a sea of pain and sadness, unable to find comfort in anything around you. Alexander's comforting presence was like an anchor in the midst of the storm, offering support and compassion in such a dark time. He understood your pain as he had also lost soldiers close to him.
Alexander felt compelled to protect and care for you, not only out of gratitude for your husband's sacrifice, but also because he genuinely cared for you. His discreet smiles and kind gestures were an attempt to ease your pain, to be a ray of light amid the darkness you faced.
Although you fought your feelings, you found yourself enjoying the King's presence. But you soon discovered that you were pregnant by your late husband and you decided to focus on honoring your husband's memory and focusing on the baby growing inside you.
Alexander didn't like it at all when you tried to move away from him but he soon understood why. He wasn't angry or anything, but surprised and slightly bothered. You would have a child, something he wanted, but it wouldn't be with him. He couldn't blame you, though, it wasn't your fault.
As time passed, your belly grew and the pain of loss lessened, you found yourself more and more involved in the camp's activities, keeping yourself busy to keep away the thoughts that haunted you at night. And you found yourself increasingly close to Alexander, who made his feelings for you very clear.
He respected the fact that you weren't ready to get married due to the fact that you were pregnant, he could wait until the baby was born. But he wasn't far from you, spending his free time by your side while also taking care of you. You owned your own tent and personal effects, along with those of your late husband.
In time, your husband's child was born, and you held it in your arms with love and sadness. It was a part of him you would carry forever, a living reminder of the man you loved so much. Alexander was present and he acted as if your child were his. He didn't even like it when people mentioned it wasn't his.
You were his and your baby was his too. Alexander was skeptical about it at first but he warmed up to the idea. The mourning period is over and your child has been born, now it is time for you to become his wife and have children of his own.
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diejager · 1 year ago
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I know this kinda sounds stupid- but can you do a feral deer reader who was found by the task force? The reader has some magical healing abilities, so she ended up captured and hired as a medic. Since the reader never really communicated with humans/ other hybrids and was mostly by herself, she doesn't understand social stuff. For example, she can be convinced that getting groped is a greeting, and she'll agree since she never interacted with other hybrids before. So she's pretty much oblivious.
If possible- make her a bit fluffy? 👉👈
I’m going to make this the continuation to Doe because I can!! Muhahahahahah!!!!!! ψ(`∇´)ψ
Cw: DARKFIC, DUB-CON/NON-CON, non-con touching, magic, hybrid, groping, tell me if I missed any.
You were introduced to Laswell after the mission, dressed in better clothing than the tattered dress you wore, antlers cleaned from all the leaves and officially claimed by the Task Force, you found a place in their group. Going through a few rough patches and scuffles to get you out of your home, they watched you tend to your wounds, your hands glowing over the scrapes and tongue lapping at your bleeding fingers. Your… ability was the driving nail that forced Laswell to bend to their words, she’d been hounding them to get a medic or someone with better medical knowledge than the four of them combined. 
After all the paperwork and sweat, Price had the honour of locking the pretty collar they team bought you around your neck, the insignia gleaming under the office light was the final step to bind you to them as your handlers, a poor and fragile, little deer they saved from the freezing Canadian wilderness. But in all honesty, all they did was separate you from your herd, the warmer spring announcing the end of your antlers and the growth of a new set, it made frolicking and dancing easier than winter did. You were plucked from everything you knew, ripped from your lush forest and livelihood where you watched over the fauna and little critters that came to you for healing, and forcefully placed in a dead and unfeeling world where grey buildings towered over the forests and life restrained to small patches of dying soil. It made you uncomfortable, but the binding words the four men - human men - and the nice but stoic lady (she looked so tired, it made your hands itch to soothe her aches) shared with you made it seem like it was impossible for you to return to your home. 
“This is your new home, sweetheart,” the bear-like man said, his gruff voice and imposing figure had you shuddering in your seat, much more than the energetic man with electric, blue eyes that you then learned was Soap. 
You wanted to argue, but your voice died in your throat when they all stared at you with dark and expectant eyes, seemingly anticipating submission and obedience from you as a deer. How could you fight when they held such an oppressive air around them, but perhaps it was just their broad and muscular bodies that made your nerves bristle; perhaps they were nicer than they looked, gentler and tender like the way that man with brown eyes held you in the metal bird, whispering sweet and comforting words; or perhaps they were truly mean and dominating, like some pack of wolves that shared your home. You hoped they were as nice as the Gaz, who made you call him by his… real name? You were confused, but you did as he asked, calling him Kyle unlike the other men. 
You gave Price a muted nod, eyes cast down and fingers scratching and pulling at your restrictive clothes, feeling too covered and your skin too sensitive by all the irritating fabrics and silks. It hadn’t taken them much time to intergrate you in their schedule, finding you a place in their group to stare at and work despite your clear confusion about the social norms and your sudden duty. The human world was a stranger to you, foreign acts and alien words that you needed help with: you could read some words while others were completely incomprehensible for your feral mind, or your confusion about the use for phones and anything too advanced had you fumbling with your words.
It’s good that you had them to help you, no? 
Price made you attend classes with him and Ghost, being taught the alphabet and complicated words after the training drills and morning rituals, sometimes seated between them, squeezed so tightly between their broad shoulders, and other times seated on their laps, their shadow looming over you when they bent over to show you something. They touched you a lot, Ghost having less restraint than his Captain, his rough, gloveless fingers sliding beneath your shirt and groping the softness of your stomach and kneading your breasts, feeling its weight and perky nipples. You squirmed on his lap, whined out your discomfort, used to physical interaction in your herd, but never something so forward, but Ghost had reassured you that this was a normal human behaviour towards someone they cared deeply for.
Price kept his to your stomach and ass, feeling the fat of your cheeks and occasionally standing a hit, drinking in your yelps and whimpers from his touches. He, alike Ghost did, assured you that it was normal that he hooked his arm around your hip and holding you flushed to his side, his musky scent wafting around you like a thick cloud of smoke. He ruffled your hair once your antlers fell, petting you like he would a dog, carding through your washed locks and chuckling when your ears twitched from being handled. He would often call you to his office at random times, allegedly wanting you to train healing them since humans were slightly different than hybrids and having you lick his paper cut with your pink tongue. He liked shoving two fingers down your throat and pumping until you gagged and choked, drooling down his wrist while he breathed heavily and palmed himself.
Gaz and Soap helped you with other things: understanding human behaviour, training you mind and body and helping you around the base when you were lost and disoriented. Both men were enthused to be your chaperone, excited to take part in your schooling in other ways. Gaz lead you around the base hand in hand, his fingers intertwined with yours in a strong and unmoving grip while he pulled you forward, your tail flicking anxiously when people gazed your way, their eyes probing your uniform-clad figure. He was more upfront than the older men, pulling you to his chest and cuddling you in public areas, the bigger rec room, the mess hall or the gym, nuzzling the crook of your neck, lips drawling pretty words on your throat and shoulder and hair tickling your skin, mumbling the sweetest praises despite your obvious stiffness.
Soap, not unlike Gaz, had you call him Johnny (Ghost called him that too, you quickly found out) and was the touchiest of the four, always placing a hand on you even in awkward and weird situations. Soap was more animalistic than the others, panting and huffing when he spent too long around you, rutting your thigh like a wolf in rut or another reindeer deep in the season, you were quite sure this one wasn’t that much of a norm, seeing people avert their eyes or Ghost scruffing Soap and hissing degrading words. He especially loved sparring with you, pinning you on the mat, hand wrapped around your nap and putting his weight on your struggling body. He’d grind his hard bulge against your ass, ignoring your cries and whines, happily huffing and groaning in your ear while Gaz and Ghost watched on, admiring the sight, a pretty and vulnerable deer with little stubs and flickering ears, writhing under the mutt of the Task Force. 
Even if your initial use was for healing wounds and supporting the team, they found a secondary task for you in all the chaos and caution, to help you open up to them faster and easier. It’d only take a few kisses, cuddling and sessions until you grow attune and accept your new home.
Taglist: @sae1kie @yeoldedumbslut @bvxygriimes @distracteddragoness @konigsblog @im-making-an-effort @daisychainsinknots @0alk0msan @danielle143 @tuttifuckinfruttifriday @notspiders @brokenpieces-72 @petwifed @randominstake @cassiecasluciluce @hayleybarnesx @shironasumi @sparky--bunny @bloobewy @infpt-zylith @sweetnanah @aldis-nuts
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taylormarieee · 3 months ago
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~Entranced~ sam winchester
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Summary: You were a belly dancer and a singer, when Sam and Dean had to investigate you because your sister had gone missing, he couldn’t help but be entranced by you. In other words, he couldn’t help but want to get into your pants…
Word Count: 3.4k (wowzers)
Pairing: Sam Winchester x WOC!bellydancer
Warnings: porn with plot, long ass story line, obsessed sam, wingman dean, enticing reader, mentions of death and demons, typical supernatural tingz, smut, sexual tension, dirty talk, pet names (sweetheart, pretty lady, etc.) pussy whipped sam, sam drunk off readers love, reader is in love with sam, creampie, oral (male and fem receiving), cowgirl, use of 18+ language, MDNI!!!! enjoy cuz he's been on my mind for a long time.
A/N: ok hey guyyssss! I’ve been fantasizing about Sam ALOT lately like specifically season 2 Sammy so enjoy this smutty whoretastic slutty ass fic because I was indeed ovulating🙏🏽😭😁
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*thump thump thump*
you smile as your body and hips move to the rhythm of the song. you were dancing and singing your heart out. mostly getting hollered at and whistled at along with a string of cheers. you laugh and smile as you move to the beat.
all of a sudden you feel yourself being watched. yes, that sounded stupid as there were hundreds of people watching you but these certain pair of eyes were burning. you could feel it.
you look around and walk all over the stage and that's when you see him. a man in a black suit along with another hot guy staring the same lust full daggers your way as everyone else.
but the other one, his hair was long and such a luscious brown. his eyes held one of admiration, as if you were admiring the mona lisa at an art gallery.
you liked him. he was cute, sexy even and that you certainly couldn't deny. when you got done with your performance you asked one of the security guards if they could kindly bring the two boys over to you backstage.
"hello boys, anything I can help you with?" you ask as you wipe off some sweat from your face.
"how'd you know we needed help?" the shorter one asked with a smirk on his face as he steps closer to you.
"well for starters, your both dressed in suits, sat in the back of the club all mysteriously, staring daggers right at me and shall I go on?" you list with a smile on your face.
you shift your weight from one foot to the other as you glance between the two of them.
the both of them look at each other and then chuckle. "guess you got us there" the taller one states with his charming smile.
"what are your names again? and who do you work for?" you asked as you sat down gesturing them to sit as well.
"oh I'm detective roadkill and this is detective showers." dean speaks out with a smirk.
"were FBI." he says as your face scrunches up into one of concern and confusion.
"why would FBI agents show up at our little club, no ones done anything wrong I hope, one of the main reasons we have security." you say with a dry chuckle.
"no no, not at all, uhm were looking in to the disappearance of your sister melisa?" sam asks.
"I-I don't feel like talking about it. she's not gone, she's dead." you say with tears prickling in your eyes.
"how would you possibly know that? police never found a body." dean says.
"exactly, main reason why I don't believe she disappeared or it was some freak kidnapping. even if she was kidnapped, she's been gone for 3 weeks, what are the possible chances she is alive? hm?" you say pacing and throwing your hands about.
"I know she's dead. I can feel it. It's a sibling thing, you two wouldn't understand." you explain.
"oh trust me, I get it. see I have this brother. means the world to me and yea he can be a real pain in the ass sometimes." he says with a chuckle which causes you to giggle too.
"I love him regardless because no matter how much we argue, I know he means well and just wants to protect me." sam finishes.
dean looks at him and you hum. they really thought you were stupid. you knew who they were, you just hated how these hotties could lie to you.
"sam, dean. this was a really fun talk but I don't know where my sister is." you say smirking at them with their confused faces facing you in return.
"H-How did you-"
"how did I know? oh it's pretty obvious, see word gets around that some fbi agents are asking around for my sister and then I find out you two are hunters? yea I am one of the ones that knows what's going on around here. what really goes bump in the night. what really lurks in the shadows when your not paying attention. my dad was a hunter, just like you guys. just like your dad." you say circling them as you go to pour them a drink.
"wow, that was-" sam starts.
"smart? impressive? amazingly cool?" you ask handing them the drinks.
"I was going to say hot. That was really hot but you know, those words work too." he says chuckling.
"aww thanks sam, I really appreciate it." you respond as you take a sip of your whiskey.
"ok seriously, we wanna help you. If you really know what's going on then maybe we can still save other people including your sister." sam states.
"now did you smell any sulfur in her house or maybe saw black smoke or maybe she was acting aggressive and erratically before her disappearance?" dean asks scooting up in his seat more.
"uhm not that I can recall. she was normal. my sister was a kind soul, she would never even hurt a damn fly. I mean the first week of her disappearance I thought it was her douchebag of a boyfriend. ex-boyfriend i should say, that ungrateful son of a bitch." you say with spite.
"oh so was he a suspect?" dean asks.
"ofc he was! He was the main suspect, but it was also stupid for the cops to think I would kill my own sister, like that's insanity." you argue.
"alright so, if it's not ghost or demonic possession..." dean starts.
"then what the hell is it?" sam asks. all of you shrug and sit in silence for a second.
"hey I got a question for you." dean asks you. you look up at him and nod with a hum.
"you think sammy could stay with you tonight?" dean asks. your eyes widen and sam turns to dean with a incredulous look.
"no it's fine." he turns to you and says. "I don't understand why I can't just stay at the motel dean, what the hell are you doing?" he whisper-yells to dean.
"you've been making googly eyes all freakin' night, just stop stressin' and get laid. trust me you need it. your veins popping out." he says as he clears his throat.
"so, can he? It would be really appreciated, see I have stuff to do and I don't want him to be in there alone, so maybe he can keep you company? plus we have no clue if whatever this thing is an M.O. and might come after you too." dean convincingly explains which persuades you to say...
"yea sure dean, sam it's ok. I'm cool with it, you can stay with me, i've got a cozy house." you say with a smile.
"plus I gotta get up outta here anyway, shall we?" you ask swaying your hips as you walk towards the door and walk out leading sam and dean out the back.
they watch your ass and hips sway and that beautiful little outfit you belly dancers always wore. sam couldn't keep it in anymore, he was entranced. obsessed. lured in like a moth drawn to a flame.
"here take m-my jacket. you must be cold." sam offers. you smile and accept it with a thank you, after all you were wearing a bra like top that covered little.
your hand brushed his for a mere second and it felt like electricity surged through you both.
you slide your arms through the sleeves of his jacket as you walk towards your car. your keys jingling in the process as they dangle from your hip.
you unlock the car and prop yourself in the drivers seat as same props himself in the passengers seat.
"oooo it really is cold out, thanks again for the jacket sam, don't know what I would do without you." you seductively say, without the intention of trying to be seductive but thankful instead.
"yea n-no problem. just me being me." he says as you start the engine turning up the A/C and backing out the parking lot.
sam looks out the window and notices dean in the impala with two thumbs up and a smirk on his face to which he rolls his eyes at and begs to god you don't see deans childish acts.
~ TRENTON, NEW JERSEY, 2007, 10:26PM @ YOUR HOUSE~
"get cozy, looks like your going to be here for a while." you say with a smile, shrugging off his jacket to place on the coat rack.
he takes off his shoes and makes his way immediately towards your fireplace and your couch.
you watch him trudge over there and sit down his tall lean figure finally shrinking just a bit but when he sits back up his broad shoulders are back on display.
‘god what was wrong with you.’ you thought, you just couldn’t get him out of your head.
but luckily the same goes for him because you racked his brain since the moment his eyes laid a glance at your face.
you were so enticing and enchanting, of course a guy like sam couldn’t resist, he was whipped for you so badly and you didn’t even know it.
“are you hungry sammy? can i even call you sammy or is that a you and dean thing?” you ask bringing over a bowl of grapes and some wine for you and a beer for him.
“you can call me whatever you want- i-i mean yea! you can call me sammy i don’t mind.” he stutters out nervously
you him again and take a sip of the wine straight from the bottle. sam watched as your plump and glossy lips wrap around the top of the bottle wishing it was his dick instead.
he gulps as he watches your throat bob up and down as you swallow the wine.
he quickly takes a swig of his beer and you watch his Adam’s Apple bob up and down. you watched as he wraps his lips around the beer bottles top wishing it was your clit.
the tension in the room was clearly escalating just a tiny bit. 'was it just you or is it hot in here.' you thought.
you take another sip of the wine and tuck your legs under one another as if in a criss-cross motion.
"so, what do you wanna do now? dean said he won't be back for a couple of hours." sam asks.
"honestly I usually shower and go right to bed after long nights like these, but I wasn't exactly expecting company so i'm stumped here." you say with a slight chuckle.
"yea sorry to be such a burden." sam says with a playful roll of his eyes. you scoff not seeing his eye roll and take his statement the wrong way.
"look i never said you were a burden, i'm just confused on how to entertain a fucking hunter sam." you speak with slight aggression in your tone.
"look, i was just joking with you. If you took my statement the wrong way i'm sorry. I'll totally leave." he says getting up to go grab his jacket.
'n-no sammy wait. I-fuck. I didn't mean that, i'm sorry. It's just been a really long day and I'm just stumped ok, please stay?" you apologize.
"ok, if you want to go take a shower and rest that's fine by me, i'll stay.' he says standing quite dangerously close to you.
you inhale his scent for a second, his scent bringing you comfort and warmth. you don't even realized you closed a few inches in the gap between you two.
"w-what are you doing?" sam asks. his hands stuck at his side just itching to touch you. you take note of it.
"do you wanna touch me sammy?" you asks seductively. you glide your hand up and down his chest as you stare up at him with your seductive eyes.
"w-what?" he stutters out nervously. he gulps as your hand goes lower and lower.
"I said, do you want to touch me sam." you repeat your previous question. "I know you want to, your hands are twitching." you say smugly.
"fuck, uhm yea. I do, very badly." he says as he moves his hands to grab your waist. you moan at the warmth of his hands on your body.
"I know you wanna kiss me." you whisper in his ear. your on your tiptoes as sam is much taller than you.
you grab his belt to pull him closer and that was his breaking point. his lips are immediately on yours in a feverish and desperate pent up kiss.
you both fumble with his belt and trip over each others feet. you both eventually fall to the floor letting out a fit of giggles and laughs at your clumsy shenanigans.
"fuck, your so gorgeous you know that?" sam compliments. you smile and kiss him again.
"and your so handsome, thank god your parents got together." you say with a grin as you unclip your bra.
he unbuttoned his nicely pressed shirt and unbuttoned and unzipped his dress pants.
your both crawling towards the couch now, sam ripping off the cushions and you taking off the rest of your outfit leaving you in your underwear only.
pretty black laced panties to match your outfit. his eyes bulged out of his head at the sight of you. your body was gorgeous. everything about you was gorgeous, your personality as well.
"god damn your beautiful." he whispers as he sinks into the couch and you climb on top of him.
"thank you sammy. can you please fuck me now." you ask.
with a primal like growl, sam rolls you over so he's now on top of you. "oh sweetheart, gotta prep you first. don't think you can take big ole me by yourself now can you?" he teases as he kissed down your body.
after an agonizingly long trip downwards, his lips finally coming in contact with the place you've been wanting him most all night.
his warm breath hits your soaking entrance and his skilfully long tongue teases your clit.
"f-fuck sammy, pleasee-ngh- please just fuck me I'll be a good girl for you p-please." you beg as you feel one finger slot itself inside of you.
you moan out at the feeling. the feeling of pain and pleasure combined as he stretches you out. 'fuck you haven't felt this good since your last boyfriend.' you thought.
your brain was soonly erased by the feeling of sam's second finger entering your dripping hole. his lips whispering dirty things into your cunt as he licks and slurps your cunt.
you tug on his hair and cry out his name, how can someone fingers and tongue work so skillfully together at the same time.
"yes sam! right fucking there, fuck fuck fuck-ngh-ugh! yea yea, holy shit daddy!" you scream out.
he moans into your cunt at hearing you call him daddy. you were a lot younger than him, he was 5 years older than you. he loved this dominance he had over you, but he became feral whenever you tugged his hair.
desperate to get off as he ruts himself against the couch. a feeling of ecstacy washing over you and determination washing over sam. he was going to make you cum and then he was gonna rearrange your guts like never before.
your walla clench and tighten around him and he groans at how rough your tugging on his lucious brown locks. your crying his name out like a prayer over and over again.
you moan one last time before silently letting out a scream as you convulse and shake as your orgasm floods your entire body.
"oohhhh fuckkk!" you moan out as your orgasmic feeling washes away intensely.
"was I good baby?'" sam asks curiously. his lips stained with your arousal and essence. you grab his face pulling him closer to you as you kiss him sloppily getting a taste of yourself off of his tongue.
"you did amazing baby, now lemme help you. looks painful." you suggest staring at his rock hard boner through his boxers.
a wet patch on the front from his precum and getting himself all worked up.
you let him sit on the couch normally and tug his boxers down slowly. he whines when the refreshing air hits his tip.
his tip is a pretty color, a nice hue of pink. ready... waiting to be sucked and fucked on.
you lick the precum around his tip and on his shaft. you engulf his tip in your mouth wanting to get more of a taste and he moans. he watches your pretty lips engulf him and swallow him whole.
he holds the back of your head pushing you down further and getting lost in the haze of lust. he moans out your name a little louder each time you gag around him.
your throat was so wet and so warm. your saliva pooling at the corners of your mouth. you mascara surrounding the under parts of your eyes as tears stream down your face in slow motion.
your head bobs faster and faster, you gagging each time but you didn't care you wanted to taste his cum inside your mouth, you wanted it so deep down your throat that you wouldn't stop until he was crying.
you wanted sam winchester and sam winchester wanted you.
he pushes you off him quickly when he feels his release approaching.
"no no wait i'm gonna cum! I don't wanna cum like this, I want it inside you. wanna creampie you and give y-you babies." he whines out.
you smirk and kiss him softly, "ok sam. gimme all your babies, come inside me like a good little boy hmm?" you asks seductively as you push sweaty strands of hair out of his pretty face.
you climb back on top of him and sink slowly down on to him. you cry out a bit at the pain of the stretch, he really was a big boy.
"he whines and the grip on your waist tightens. you moan and feel his cock slowly piercing you more and more and the feeling of pain easily subsides once he's in you all the way.
"I'm going to start moving now ok sam?" you confirm and he nods with a hazy smile.
he's drunk of you. eyes and mind entranced by you. filled with you. he's literally inside you. he's encompassed by you, your smell, your words. everything.
sam winchester is a simp for you and there's nothing that could change his mind.
your bounces start off slow and then they rapidly speed up in pace. your both moaning and groaning, incapable of holding them in any longer.
you needed to hear him as he needed to hear you. he honeslt ydidn't think hearing you moan could get him any more harder but it did.
you were both close now, on to your second orgasm of the night while trying to get him off on his first.
"sammy I-fuck-ngh. I love you so much sam, please give me your babies please!" you scream out as you gush all over his cock. "come on cum in me please!" you scream out.
sam groans as his climax hits him like a wave, he explodes. loads and loads of semen just squirting inside you. you sigh a sigh of happiness and content.
he was filled to the brim with cum and it was just never ending. he stays inside you for a bit, slowly but weakly thrusting up into you to keep his cum inside you.
your both panting and out of breath. he smiles and you do to giving him a long and passionate kiss.
"hey." you say with a giggle
"hey beautiful." he says chuckling.
"wanna go upstairs with me to you know, rinse the night off?" you asks with a smile as you slowly slip off his cock, hissing as you do so.
before sam can even respond your losing your balance causing you to fall over. you grab onto the fireplace mantle for stability as sam gets up to help you.
he grabs on to your waist and holds you there before smirking and picking you up bridal style.
"let's go get that shower huh? and then you are going to bed pretty lady." he says with a smirk.
your face is flushed even more than before and your flustered before wrapping your arms around his neck and snuggling into his embrace.
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evanpetersmybf · 10 months ago
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All he asked for was you
Tate Langdon x female!reader
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Summary: Tate loves you too much. He would do anything for you, to keep you by his side, to make you love him forever. He would cross any line to make you his, it doesn't matter how evil it is... But was it really worth it?
Genre: ANGST!! and some smut
Word count: 5,104
Warnings: Obsessive, stalkish and violent behavior, implicit toxic relationship; mentions of weapons, murder, mental health issues, family issues, school shooting; use of Y/N, swearing, cunnilingus, fingering, unprotected p in v. (i hope i'm not missing any...) NOT PROOFREAD !!
A/N: English isn't my first language!! Sorry if I have some mistakes and if Tate's a bit ooc (i tried to keep him in character as much as i could). I wasn't sure (and still not) if this is good but I spent days writing it, so I had to post it.
A small playlist with songs that inspired me for this: monster by meg and dia, pacify her by melanie martinez, all i want is you by rebzyyx, skyfall by adele, psycho by doko, paparazzi by lady gaga, dark red by steve lacy.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ཐི ♡ ཋྀ
Tate never believed in love, nor was he a romantic one. 
In fact, he despised it. How could he even believe in that feeling when he never felt loved by his own mother? At least that’s what he pretended.
The blond always had the facade of a tough guy, although he couldn’t fool anyone. Constance knew well he was a sensitive boy. Probably the most crybaby ever to exist… And the most unstable one.
Now he was here. His chest going up and down, breathing shallow and fast. His eyes were darting around the room, looking for something or perhaps someone. Some silly tears were rolling down his cheeks while he anxiously fidgeted with a ring on his finger. The clock on the wall continued its tick-tack. The time kept running. His heart kept beating. It was getting late.
He refused to look at the wooden floor. He didn’t want to accept reality. If Tate did that, he would feel like the biggest monster on Earth.
Nevertheless, he couldn’t stay like this.
He had to do something real fast.
Today, 18:40
You were supposed to arrive at 19:00.
But he remained there, next to the corpse of his rival. A bloody ax beside the dead man’s bleeding head.
Whom he thought was his worst enemy, was someone really dear to you.
Well, Tate fervently believed this was something justified. He couldn’t stand that fucking asshole anymore! That scumbag needed to be put back in his place. And Tate only did that. Furthermore, he actually helped him. He took him away from this shitty world. It was a favor.
He had already killed his mother’s boyfriend, so why was he feeling guilty?
Maybe because his victim was special to you. Because his death would hurt you. And Langdon swore to God he would never let anybody or anything hurt you, including himself.
He loved you.
He wanted to be the one to hold your hand forever.
Tate snapped back to the present and frowned. He picked up the weapon, putting it in his backpack. He didn’t even mind cleaning it. Then, he proceeded to knelt right next to the lifeless dude and cleaned the blood surrounding his body; afterwards, he dragged him to the basement and…
19:00
A knock on the door.
You arrived.
“DAMN IT!” 
He left his dead foe lying limp on the cold basement ground and quickly ran upstairs, straight to his room. He also left the backpack there.
Tate spent the last twenty minutes cleaning the mess he made in the living room after he atrociously smashed your friend’s head, forgetting that had poor time to get ready. 
He desperately looked for clean clothes, scrambling the entire closet in search of fresh garments while he cussed at himself, at his mother, at that freaking boy, at the entire world but you.
Finally he found some jeans and a striped shirt. He looked at himself in the mirror after changing and cleaned the tiny drops of blood that stayed on his face and hands. He never realized he left the bloody clothing on the bed.
Another knock.
19:07
Tate opened the door, immediately throwing himself at you and giving you one of the warmest hugs. His demeanor with you was completely different; you were the only creature capable of changing his fucked up mind into something more beautiful, more peaceful. The issue was that it only happened when he was with you, otherwise he would be aggressive and rude as usual.
You got the best of him. 
“Missed you so fuckin’ much, babe…” Voice muffled since his face was buried in the crook of your neck. Tate always did the same thing; clinging onto you like a small koala would.
“Heh, me too, hun!” You spoke with the same soothing voice he adored. Tate giggled and placed a tender kiss on your jawline, then another, and another, and another.
Soon enough, he was peppering kisses all over your neck, making you moan softly. Oh those sounds. He could hear you melting under his touch, his embrace, for the rest of eternity.
He loved making you squirm, making you laugh, making you feel loved.
He was way too sweet.
Only if you knew.
Four weeks before today…
Tate has always had the bad habit of stalking you. Yeah… He wasn’t proud of it. But can you blame him? He’s constantly afraid of you leaving him. He wanted to make sure you never did so… Otherwise he would die. Literally.
Don’t ask how he would die. You already know the answer.
You two were supposed to have a date, albeit you had to cancel your meeting.
And that, of course, made him overthink. It didn’t matter how many times you told him you were going to study; he felt betrayed, as if you were rejecting him. And Tate hated and feared rejection to the bone.
“Pretty please? Please, Y/N! I don’t wanna go home early, mom’s gonna be there and-and–”
“Tate, I can’t skip this. I have like, a test every day next week and I must study. I don’t wanna fail. Please, sweetie. I promise I’ll make it up to ya’, mhm?” 
He rolled his eyes and whined, almost throwing a tantrum. He didn’t try to manipulate you on purpose. It came out naturally. “But I need you, Y/N! Why do you always do the same, huh? Am I not that important? Don’t you love me any longer?”
His childish crying continued for a couple of minutes, until it stopped and the blond agreed a deal with you.
You thought he was calm now, but no. How naive.
You went to the library to study as you said… Without noticing he followed you.
Quietly, he got into that maze of books after you and hid behind some shelves.
Tate noticed you sat on an empty table. Thank God. Oh?
Who. Is. He.
A man Tate didn’t know sat next to you. Really close. Too close for Tate’s liking. He tried to think he was a stranger, that he wasn’t going to talk to you… He was wrong.
He clenched his hands into a ball when he saw that idiot talking to you, and the worst part was that you followed suit. It seemed you two were friends or something.
How DARE YOU talk to another man? No, how dare you talk to another HUMAN BEING!?
Tate was insecure 24/7.
If you weren’t there, Tate was falling apart. It was simple.
No Y/N, no happy Tate. Was it too hard to understand?
Three weeks before today…
It was Friday. Tate was impatiently waiting for you outside the campus, hanging a small bouquet of flowers he picked up.
Once he spotted you coming out from the building, he waved his hand and embraced you tightly once you were in front of him. He gave you the adorable present.
“Tate!”
“How did you do? Did you pass your tests? Don’t tell me, I’m sure you did.” Said, grinning from ear to ear. He was away from you for an entire week. How did he survive? He didn’t know, but he was glad to have you with him again. “Tell me about your life in the last days, baby. Please? I feel like I haven’t seen you in years!”
There he was, the one and only drama queen Tate Langdon.
You talked about the tests, about how the teachers were being a pain in the ass (which clearly triggered in him the intense desire of hurting them because they stressed you), and… About a guy. The same guy from the library, with whom you spent the entire last week studying. He couldn’t stand it. He saw him as a threat to your relationship, especially since he was an old friend that you met many years ago. 
As the days went by, you gave him more reasons to hate that jerk. Why? Well of course because you spent hours at the library doing homework or studying with him. Or even hanging out with him and other people.
In reality, you went out with him to a museum just once, and then skating with other colleagues. Nothing compared to the time you spent with Tate; in a week, you would hang out with him almost daily, and if you were way too busy, he would go to your place and spend the night there. He was so attached to you to the point he had to see you at least once a day. And that’s why he was so jealous of your friend. Tate couldn’t stand the idea of you sharing your life with someone else who wasn’t him or your family… And he also got jealous of them, but he was handling it.
Two weeks before today.
After Tate’s pleas, you decided to introduce your friend to him.
Probably a big mistake.
The date was really awkward; your friend tried being nice, and Tate acted surprisingly kind. Of course it was odd; usually, he despised all of your friends and treated them badly, yet this time was different. You were stunned, however, you tried to ignore it and instead got happy as he finally accepted a random person as your buddy. 
Still and all, he hated that moron. It didn’t matter how much he tried liking your pal, he was jealous of him. He was getting on his nerves. He denied the fact that you had more love for other people that wasn’t him. Tate desired being your only one. Your number one. Your entire world. Because that’s what you were for him. And he was willing to do whatever to keep you with him.
Tate exchanged numbers with him and meticulously plotted a plan to ascertain he would never talk to you ever again. At first, it came out as a simple “I’m gonna scare the shit outta him”, nonetheless, it turned into a darker idea, very likely involving physical violence.
One week before today…
The last few days, Tate won Peter’s trust. Ah yes. That’s your friend's name. You were glad that he finally opened his warm heart and began to meet more people besides you.
You thought he needed a friend, an empathetic person who could support the blond when you weren’t available, that way he would feel less lonely and depressed.
They went to the cinema, to the arcade, even to a music store. Everything was going according to what he planned.
Eventually, he invited Peter to his place to play chess and other board games on a Sunday afternoon, before you arrived and had a date with Tate due to your anniversary. 
Today, 16:00
Peter and Tate were eating pizza and having a great noon, talking about their lives and random stuff, like school and music. They both enjoyed Nirvana, and since Peter played the guitar, he agreed on teaching your boy how to.
If it weren’t for Tate’s twisted mind, they would’ve been best friends.
The guitarist wasn’t a bad guy. He was a great buddy that really appreciated you and the crybaby, but Langdon had something else in mind.
18:00
The men watched a movie. Tate didn’t even know its name; in fact, he didn’t even pay attention to it. Instead, he was focused on his next actions, plotting them carefully.
“Crap, mom’s gonna arrive soon…” Tate mumbled with annoyance, biting his nails and tapping his foot on the floor. He was lying. You were going to arrive, not Constance.
“Damn, bro. Well, I don’t have a problem. I wanna meet her.”
“Huh? No no no, you shouldn’t. That bitch is crazy.”
Peter scoffed, disagreeing with Tate’s rude manner to call his own momma.
“Hey, you shouldn’t talk like that. I bet she loves you!”
That pissed him off. “You don’t know anything, Peter. Your family is different. Your life’s different. You won’t understand!” He yelled, standing up from the couch and now pacing around the room, trying to keep it calm.
“Dude, calm down!
“NO! I fucking won’t!”
The screaming continued for a while. Tate revealed his unstable and crystal self. Even something so insignificant could drive him to the edge, like what happened today. That definitely surprised the other one, who used to think that Tate was a sweet boy. “I dunno why Y/N is dating you.”
“What did you say?” Tate abruptly stopped pacing.
“Y/N. Y/N doesn’t deserve you.”
“WHY WOULD YOU EVEN SAY THAT!?” He pounced on Peter, gripping his neck with one rough hand, applying enough pressure on the sides to stop the blood circulation in his carotids and make him lose consciousness.
Before passing out, Peter, getting pale, managed to croak out: “Because she deserves better…”
Soon enough, he fainted, giving Tate minutes to think about what else to do. 
Your boyfriend wasn’t planning on murdering Peter today. No, he didn’t have time. He also was supposed to meet you.. But this was the perfect excuse! And not only that; he indirectly admitted he was in love with you! Or that’s what Tate interpreted with his delusional point of view.
Peter didn’t feel anything romantic for you, he was just worried Tate might be too unhinged to be your partner.
Thus, he went to his room and grabbed his backpack. Then, went to the garden shed and picked up the ax that belonged to his father, and a bottle of lye.
He had to get the job done quickly, nevertheless, he lost track of time.
18:30
Tate came back to the living room, just to notice that Peter wasn’t there anymore.
“FUCK IT!” Langdon got nervous. What if he escaped? What if he told you that Tate was crazy? He couldn’t allow this, not at all.
Thankfully, or maybe not, Tate found Peter crawling towards the front door, the poor dude still feeling dizzy after being choked.
Tate didn’t have any mercy.
“Where do you think you’re going, lil’ piece of shit!?”
18:38
Tate finally did it. He brutally murdered Peter, smashing his head several times with the ax.
He got rid of that little issue. He took him to somewhere clean.
Once he assured the other man wasn’t breathing, he dropped the weapon on the floor, making a loud metallic thud.
19:10
Tate was pinning you down on the couch, the same couch where your dead friend was sitting just an hour ago.
His hands were traveling all along your body, tracing sweet patterns on your skin.
Eventually, his fingers were clumsily pulling down your panties, not minding to take off your skirt. “Did you bring this for easy access, baby?” Tate chuckled and buried his face between your legs, holding your thighs in place; his lips plastered messy kisses over the warm flesh, biting it and leaving tiny marks after sucking.
Your reaction was alluring to him; he enjoyed listening to your pleas, to your whimpers. If it was for him, he would spend the entire day making you cum over and over again.
He finally got rid of your underwear, tossing it aside. Without further ado, the boy spread your folds with his large digits, and continued to lick your throbbing wet cunt.
“So fucking pretty… So wet for me, huh?”
His tongue lapped your small clit two or three times, then, traced a zigzag and circles on the sensitive nub. While he devoured you, he inserted his middle and ring finger, pumping them in and out of your cute hole, curling them and hitting the right spot to make you feel butterflies.
Tate could feel his arousal growing; his erection being restrained by the tight fabric of his jeans. He was desperate, yeah. But he always put you in the first place, and that included pleasuring you before him.
After a while, he replaced his fingers with his tongue, fucking your pussy with the agile muscle and now rubbing your clit with his thumb, applying pressure that sent electric waves through your body. He stopped using his tongue on you and instead looked at that stunning face of yours. He was delighted with your flushed cheeks, with every single gesture you did, with the way your eyes rolled to the back of your head. He wanted to take a picture of you to remember this moment forever.
His thumb increased the pace, while his free hand lifted up your blouse and tried to undo your bra. He couldn’t. You giggled when he groaned in frustration; he was too horny to think straight and that’s why you helped him to take off the garment.
Tate sighed and after that awkward and funny moment, he kept rubbing your bud, using your own juices and his saliva as a lubricant, intensifying the sensation. His left pinched and pulled your nipple, making you gasp and twitch beneath him, whilst his mouth abused your other one, greedily sucking on it.
“Tate, ‘m gonna cum! I-”
Tate cut you off by kissing you harshly; his tongue invading your warm mouth, exploring it and then nibbling your bottom lip until it bleeded. He licked the tiny drops of blood, savoring the metallic taste of it.
Unable to hold on any longer, you reached your orgasm, coming undone while Tate kept caressing your pussy, decreasing the velocity while you finally calmed down.
He left you panting; your heart beating so fast just like his.
You tried to sit up on the couch, breathing deep for more air, but the blond prevented you from going away.
“Where do you think you’re doing? We’re not done yet, you’re gonna cum again!”
Tate carried you bridal style and went upstairs straight to his bedroom. He threw you on the bed.
Without stopping looking at you, he unbuckled his belt and pulled down his jeans along the boxers; his dick already erect and throbbing, the veins thick and the tip leaking precum.
Using the clear liquid as lube, he stroked his shaft for a while, jerking off to the sight of you. He groaned and whimpered, closing his eyes as his hand pumped himself.
One of your hands went to your breasts, massaging them softly as your right went down between your legs, slowly teasing your womanhood and coating your index finger with your arousal, using it to rub your aching bundle of nerves.
Tate’s dark room was now filled with both of your moans; Tate calling your name several times and you begging him to fuck you.
He couldn’t stand this anymore. He NEEDED to be inside you, to feel your warmth enveloping him. “On all fours. Now.” You immediately obeyed, feeling as eager as him.
“Look at me, mhm?” He positioned behind you and rubbed the tip against your wet folds, teasing you for a bit. Afterwards, he slowly entered his cock inside your slit, moving it slowly at first. His thumb went to your clitoris, toying with it just like minutes before. He picked up the pace and fucked you fast and hard; his cockhead brushing your cervix. Grabbing a fistful of your hair, Tate pulled your head towards him, still with the deep thrusting.  “Fuck, Y/N! You’re so pretty… So fucking precious, so fucking mine!” Moaned against your ear, voice raspy and agitated.
Panting, you stopped looking at him and instead looked to the bed. Why? Who knows, but you did it. And you saw Tate’s dirty clothes. Dirty with blood. A lot of blood.
You froze. Maybe it was red paint? 
“U-uh, Tate?” You muttered, feeling already bewildered by the sight. You tried not to jump into conclusions, although you knew Tate and he has always been… Secretive.. And aggressive, of course. 
After your boyfriend heard your shaky whisper, he stopped moving, even if he wanted to keep going. “Hm?”
“What’s this?” Tate sighed and pulled out from you, not understanding what you meant. 
“What’s what?”
Without saying anything else to him, you grabbed the shirt and touched the weird stain. It was still fresh. You took your fingers to your mouth to taste it; and the metallic tang was too obvious. “Tate, what the fuck is this!?”
You threw it at him. Freaked out, you stood up and picked up your clothes, putting them on again, all meanwhile Tate connected the dots and realized he was probably going to get caught.
“Wait, Y/N! It’s not what it looks like, I swear, damn it!” He yelled and grabbed your arm, not wanting you to leave like this. He had to save his reputation, he couldn’t let you think bad of him even if you had all the right. Because, why the fuck the fabric was soaked in blood?
“Then what is it, Tate? WHY DOES IT HAVE SO MUCH BLOOD!?”
“CALM DOWN, PLEASE!” 
You attempted to get away from his grip, struggling with him until, somehow, you managed to do so. However, you tripped with his dirty shoes and fell, realizing they were also stained with the red liquid. “Tate, what…? Why? What is this?”
“Nothing, I swear!” He didn’t have any excuses. Saying it was paint would’ve been lame. You were too smart and he knew lying wasn’t a good choice.
Feeling overwhelmed with the matter, you went downstairs, walking as fast as you could. Passing through the living room, a very familiar bag caught your eye. It was definitely Peter’s. You decided to grab it and realized it had his phone inside. Something was off.
Tate was standing behind you; fists clenched and heart beating like crazy. He tried to approach you, still thinking about what to do or what to say. 
“Tate… What is this doing here? Peter’s here?” 
“Huh? Yeah… He— He came earlier and had to go soon, he left this accidentally, yup…” You could see him fidgeting with that ring on his finger, again. 
“Bullshit!”
Tate scowled and grabbed your chin, making you look at his dark orbs. “Tell me, Y/N, do you trust me or not, huh? Look me in the eyes and say you don’t!”
The struggle continued for what seemed eternity. You trying to run away from the house and he trying to make you stay. “Please, Y/N, just listen to me!”
“You did something to him, right? I know him, Tate! He would NEVER leave his phone like this! Is this a joke?”
“Why do you care so much about that asshole!? What has he done for you!? Tell me!”
“Oh my, you’re jealous! I knew it! All that crap about being his friend was a lie, right? Tate, you’re being delusional! I can have friends, I can hang out with whoever I want, whether you like it or not!” 
Tate pressed your cheeks between his thumb and the rest of his fingers, squeezing the flesh with his veiny, big hand, pressing it tightly enough to leave the mark of his long digits on it.
“You can’t! You’re mine. Only mine. Since the day you were born you were meant to be mine. Not his, not anybody, just me.”
“Tate… We should end this…” You thought this was the best for both. Being in a relationship with him was draining; always being careful to not hurt him, make him jealous or mad. He was such a sensitive boy that always took everything too personally. He felt everything a little too much.
Since the beginning you knew he was unstable and that he had many issues, but you tried to see beyond his sick mind, you tried to understand him despite being so different.
Tate felt so safe with you. You were the only person who understood him, or at least made attempts to. 
He felt rejected by the entire society, even by his own mother, until he met you and he had a minimum spark of hope that the world didn’t suck that much.
That’s why he clung to you. That’s why you were his everything. He would lose his mind if you leave him.
He felt like dying when he heard you wanted to finish the relationship.
He couldn’t breathe. 
Some tears were now falling to the floor, his eyes puffy and an ugly frown on his face. His mouth twisted as he sobbed loudly, tugging the hem of your shirt while he begged you to stay. He was crying like a newborn, like a baby who had to be apart from his mother for a second.
“No no no no, you can’t do this to me!” He whimpered, his speech cracking as he tried to hold you close whilst you were stepping back. You were slipping through his fingers, you were leaving him.
“Tate, if something happened to Peter, I will never forgive you! Can’t you see you’re hurting me?”
Tate swore he would never hurt you, nor let anyone. But here he was, finally snapping out of it and seeing the cruel truth. 
“You’ve been hurting me the whole time, Tate! I tried to understand you, I really did, I tried to help you, to save you from yourself! But it’s impossible. I’m losing myself here with you, I don’t even know who I am anymore! You don’t want help, do you? ‘Cause it doesn’t matter what I do, you’re never satisfied! You suffocate me!”
All those words were like daggers penetrating his skin, touching his nerves and making him die of pain. You were tearing him apart, just the way he was destroying you.
He finally let go of you, feeling a tornado of emotions. Tate felt depressed, mad, resentful, like he was going crazy. Though, he knew he had to leave if that’s what you wanted. He couldn’t bring himself to break another promise.
Thereby, he confessed his crimes to you. He explained he killed his mom’s partner a few days ago, and that now he had killed your friend. Why? He was jealous, he was scared you’d left him. You did it before you discovered the cruel reality, anyways. That’s why he told you. Because he couldn’t lose anything else.
The situation was utterly disgusting. Tate was sick. He murdered an innocent man and then proceeded to fuck you, as it was the maximum test of love, as if his life meant nothing.
You knew he wasn’t what people often considered “normal”. But this was definitely more than just being a “weirdo”. Tate needed psychiatric help… And being arrested, of course.
“You make me wanna puke, Tate! You’re the evil!”
Without hesitating, you left Tate behind, running as fast as you could from that living hell.
You just wanted to cry, curl up into a ball and wake up from this nightmare. You wished it was merely a bad dream.
Tomorrow morning, you’d go to the police, but for now you needed to sleep.
Monday morning, 11:05
You couldn’t sleep all night. You spent hours thinking about everything, about how this looked like a cruel joke to you. Eventually, you fell asleep at 4AM, and didn’t wake up at what seemed almost midday. 
An intense sound of police sirens woke you from your slumber. Startled by the loud noise, you rubbed your eyes and went to the window, trying to get a glimpse of what was happening outside.
Police cars and SWAT vans were going in a specific direction… Towards Tate’s street. It couldn’t be, right?
Did his mother find the corpse? Or perhaps something else?
You looked at the clock, realizing it was late and you had to go to class. 
08:00
After the most painful night of his life, Tate decided today everything would be over.
He had to cleanse the world… To take people to somewhere else, to some place full of peace away from the piss and the vomit that runs down the streets.
He was doing this not only because of your breakup, but also because of many other reasons. Your split up was the straw that broke the camel and drove him to the edge.
10:40
 After shooting the school, Tate left the place, looking unfazed about what he just did. He was unhinged. 
He peacefully got into his place, went to his room and stayed there for some minutes. 
The blond sat on the edge of the bed, leaving the gun right next to him and stared at nothing. His gaze was empty, but also there were some tears threatening to spill.
His mind was a whirlwind. Some part of him was satisfied, but the other was confused, wondering what was he thinking, what had he done?
What would you think of him now? Were you even there? Did he kill you too and he didn’t even notice?
In the end, he recognized he indeed was the evil you said. Damn it. You were right, again, as ever.
Tate wanted to hear your voice, to comfort him, to hear you saying everything was okay. That he’d be okay. He desired to hear “I love you” from you once more.
11:15
You went downstairs to find your family apparently mourning you.
They thought you were at school when the shooting happened. They believed you were gone, but here you were. 
Eventually, they explained to you what happened.
The first thing that popped into your mind was Tate’s wellbeing, still unaware that he was the culprit. You were afraid something terrible could’ve happened to him, you were regretting your last words to him, but you also had to get him prisoner.
Your heart dropped when they explained to you he was the shooter.
No, it couldn’t be possible. 
It was possible. After all, he had already killed two men.
Even if you despise what he did, some part of you still longed for him, still was in love with his once kind heart.
A terrifying feeling of dread filled your body, making you feel numb, as if none of this was real… 
11:25
After running to Tate’s house and seeing it surrounded by the cops and the SWAT team, everything stopped. Constance’s distressed cries and pleas were heard from outside, followed suit by the sound of bullets. It was over now.
Tate was certainly a troubled individual who dedicated his entire life to searching for something, to feel something, to feel loved.
All he asked for was love, to be loved, to love. All he wanted was you.
But at the same time, your love led him to an never-ending obsession that ultimately broke both of you.
He became your biggest regret.
All he feared, all his nightmares came true. Everything he was so afraid of was him and only himself. 
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reveluving · 9 months ago
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angel in hell ; the ghoul x reader
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summary: hell on earth is more tolerable with his light by his side.
warnings: allusions to s~mut (minors DNI!), very brief mentions of attempted su~icide, reader as an 'entertainer' is used loosely (for your creativity!), cocky (softer) hard-ass x beautiful badass darling trope mmm, reader was born before the war, age gap but not really (think him in his 40s & you in your 20s/30s but in 200-ish years old), strong language, bits of angst and more fluff overall!
a/n: just a little tester because I could not help it HAHAHA had this in my mind for a few days, and now that I've started the show, I have an excuse to post it 💅🏼 please enjoy & don’t forget to leave some sugar! ᐠ( ᐛ )ᐟ
» curious about my writing? come & check out my main m.list!
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'You wondered how your dead father would react to your relationship with a deadly and smitten cowpoke.' ;
You were an entertainer before it all. The best of the best. A real knockout of the century and the kindest of them all.
If only you knew it had its downsides.
Your admirer (read: obsessor) being none other than the Overseer of 33 himself, forcing you into the vault lifestyle with him to be his beloved.
But your mental strength, your humanity, your free will was unbudgeable.
Not even the experiments could budge you.
Not until that one fucking serum.
You tried everything. Before and after your escape.
But the afterlife, or whatever the hell that existed outside of this godforsaken world, just wouldn't take you.
Your mama always said that by living a good, long life, the universe gets to show you what they had to offer.
Thank the heavens she didn't live long enough to take her words back, if she knew the hell her only daughter was put into.
And though the Vault taught you how to survive better than the poor souls on the surface, sometimes you wished you didn't remember how to. Yearning for the ignorance and the near-zombified state they were in over the pristine lifestyle that would jump out of you every once in a while.
At least whatever the underground snakes injected you with kept your youth intact.
Though, you weren't the only one reminiscing your old days, remembering the smiles that immediately bloomed from your presence.
Howard, The Ghoul remembers you.
Nobody at his great age could ever forget a sweet face like yours. Standing out from all the yuppies, despite being well-off yourself at the time, much like you were now. You knew your rights from your wrongs, and they were never for show. Regardless of the bags under your eyes on sleepless nights, or the scars that would decorate your skin after a rough-up, just until your curse magically wooshes it away.
Despite your scoffs, your wave-offs over your old life, that the present had no need for an entertainer, he would say otherwise.
All. The. Time.
Always countering your modesty with the highest praises, albeit sometimes lewdly.
But… not always.
He knew that you knew you were one of a kind if he was able to tell you his life before the bombs dropped. That he was able to tell you stories of his late family. That he was able to tell you that you were 'somethin' special t'him'.
You wondered how your dead father would react to your relationship with a deadly and smitten cowpoke.
But you were on your own now.
Always been for over two hundred fucking years.
At least, that was the way it was before.
Not anymore. Not with the foul-mouthed gunslinger and his pooch, who, to the chagrin of your man, adored you more than him.
Which, really, how couldn't you talk Howard's ear off for harming the sweetheart at first?
Disbelief was something he had lived with from the day he stumbled upon you in the badlands one fine night. The pretty little lady who didn't look like she could hurt a fly back then now aimed her trusty rifle at him with an unlit ciggy in between your lips. Not a tremor in sight as you looked through your scope.
He was half-tempted to be shot.
And well, you did, taking the shot. It did as good as a chocolate teapot, and as you quickly tried to reload, he took a good look at you.
You were a sight for sore eyes before, but today, gorgeous wasn't even cutting it, and if he wasn't daydreaming about your messy hair and sorry clothing article for a sleepwear, then he definitely was about that one night—your first night.
How you teasingly pulled the wide collar of your top down, revealing more and more of your velvety skin. How gentle your kisses were, brushing your lips along his neck like he'd finally break after a lifespan of wandering. How you looked up at him, lips parted and eyes dazed with lust and dare he say, affection.
He knew he was a goner.
But like all the time, he wanted to be greedy.
And for once in his life, after an eternity, the future was finally shedding him some light of hope.
˚ · . f i n . · ˚
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a/n: if something ain't right, no it isn't ❤️ don't worry about it, still hope you enjoy! ;; gorgeous rose divider by @firefly-graphics ♡
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vidals-harkness · 4 months ago
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i got you (alice wu-gulliver)
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summary: you get your period, and your girlfriend helps you out.
fic type: fluff
pairings: alice wu-gulliver x fem!reader
warnings: period cramps, blood, nausea
word count: 0.5k
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As per usual, you and Alice had gone to your separate workplaces. Her going to her little goth house, and you to the library. A small job, really, but the backbreaking work paid off.
However, today wasn’t the best day to go to work. Because right when you got there, you felt it.
The stabbing pain that came in your abdomen making you wish you were dead or maybe a man. Cramps. Blood. Inner garments soaked.
“Well isn’t this lovely,” you sighed, grabbing a tampon and fixing yourself in the bathroom.
You didn’t want to take a pain med. That would be admitting defeat and displaying weakness. You could handle it.
Until you couldn’t.
Alice had just gotten on break when your call came in.
“Baby…” you whined into the phone, making her eyes widen a bit. She knew that tone.
“Give me ten minutes,” she said, dashing to the cupcake store in the mall, picking up your favourite red velvet ones, along with a sugary peach iced tea, before heading to her car. She immediately gunned it, driving as fast as she could to the public library.
She showed up to see you slumped over one of the desks, near tears and probably in so much pain that it could kill a man. Which it would, in her opinion.
“I’ve got you,” she said softly, rubbing your back. “Come on, sweetheart I’ll take you to the car,”
You allowed yourself to be led to the car, and sat in the passenger seat, whining like a child.
“Darling can we—“ before you could ask, she placed the goodies in your lap, making you smile at the sight. “You’re a saint,”
“Hardly,” she chuckled, backing out of the parking lot. “Snack on those till we get home okay?”
The cupcakes were heaven, your cramps feeling a little less deathly and the iced tea relaxed the rising heat you were feeling in your already bloated stomach.
The house was thankfully clean, Alice having suspected your period was close (she had a secret calendar on her wall and phone keeping track) and kept any form of anxious thoughts of cleaning by away.
“Lie down, I’ll grab the heating pad,” she said, kissing your forehead before pushing the door open to the bedroom.
You lay on your stomach with a dramatic (but appropriately anguished) groan, waiting for her to return.
She worked like clockwork, well aware of the sheer danger of your mood swings if things were even a second late. She pulled out the chocolate from the fridge, grabbed the heating pad and went to the room, handing both things over to you.
“And I’ve kept some painkillers on the bedside table even though you won’t take them you stubborn bitch,” she sighed, sliding into bed behind you, sitting up with her back against the headboard, pulling you into her arms. You lay between her legs, munching on chocolate happily, while she played the first episode of Friends on the TV.
You felt her massaging your head gently, her fingertips working wonders on your aching temple, before she moved her hands into your hair, massaging your scalp as her short nails ran over it.
“I hate that you’re skipping work though, I don’t want your boss—“ you began, but she silenced you with an upside-down kiss.
“My boss is a cishet man and he doesn’t understand how periods work, or how girlfriend duties work, he’ll live,” she smiled, caressing your skin gently.
“What would I do without you?” You asked, laughing softly.
“You’d be perfectly fine, you’re an independent little lady,” she nodded. “But, you deserve the princess treatment, my love,”
Your body swelled with adoration for her, loving every single moment she spent with you, getting lost in her touch and feel.
Alice knew that she would burn the world for you without a second thought, and just seeing you so perfectly happy and content reinforced that thought beyond belief.
“I love you,” she whispered.
“I love you too, Alice,” you smiled, cuddling into her, eyes growing heavy.
And so you both dozed off together, letting just the quiet sounds of the television fill the room.
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hi hi my bao buns! second imagine of the day, starring alice! do request more and i’m working on the rest currently!
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halcyone-of-the-sea · 1 year ago
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I've never asked anyone in my entire tumblr presence, I'm excited you'll be the first, even if it doesn't get done 🙏☆♡🥬
Anyways, I feel like there is a very sad amount of Soap content on here so like..idk maybe pining Soap fluff??
He's totally the type of guy to follow someone around like a lovesick puppy and everyone notices except the person of interest LOL
Congrats on the milestone btw!! You deserve it 😼😼
—Oblivious Pining
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⇢ ˗ˏˋ 5k Drabble Masterlist ࿐ྂ
╰┈➤ ❝ [Johnny hangs off you like a silent beast. Not that you would notice, of course.] ❞
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Everyone had seen it, and at this point, it had just become painful. The soft, gentle eyes—the instantaneous smile whenever your unit showed up, your form not for a second missed to those cobalt blues. The deepening color of his cheeks was another tell, along with how he would clear his throat whenever your eye caught his, quickly looking away as if a teenager sneaking glances at his crush.
Which was what precisely was happening, actually—minus the teenager part.
But the worst of it was that you had absolutely no clue.
Perhaps it was because you’d grown so used to his teasing attitude, or even his touches or his open expressions, but you, truly, hadn’t the faintest clue that those actions were Johnny’s way of saying he was interested in you. You went about your joint missions together, touching shoulders and smiling widely, and everyone was about ready to go right back to war just so the two of you could stop it with the puppy eyes already. 
“I’m losing my mind,” Gaz utters, blinking in rapid succession at the two forms as they walk side by side across the tarmac. “I am absolutely losing my damn mind.” The exasperation can be taken and scooped with a spoon. The Sergeant gestures with his hand. “Are they bloody blind? Both of them?”
“Seems like it,” the Captain grunts, eyes narrowed and arms crossed as Soap’s hand comes up and ruffles your hair, you swat him away and playfully punch his shoulder. The Scot fake balks back in imaginary pain. 
Price rubs a hand over his beard with a sigh as Ghost blankly stares from behind them, leaning back against the base’s walls. The Lieutenant breathes out, “Fuckin’ hell. Gonna be dead ‘fore these bastards figure it out.”
Your unit was sharing most of the same looks, rolling their eyes and placing bets once more on whether one of you would make a move. Across the way your face is comfortably heated, heart hammering and yearning for something more. Johnny thinks the same as he chuckles, one hand going to itch at the side of his head.
“Well, it was more than good to see you again, Dearie.” He says, and you huff a laugh. “There’s nothing better than watchin’ you work, eh?” 
It’s a tease laced with truth, and you shift your feet, trying to hide the sudden flip of your intestines.
“Quit it, MacTavish,” your smile is infectious, and you send a glance at the setting sun before your smirk gradually grows. “In my opinion, you all hot and sweaty beats that out of the park.”
“Oh, aye,” the Scot cockily tilts his head, raising a brow as his stubble moves back. “Know it does.” 
You chuff, head looking away in childish glee. “You’re impossible.” 
“Ah,” he licks his lips, leaning back on his heels. “Don’t worry now, Little Lady, I’m all yours to figure out—I promise.” The flirting was a constant from both parties, and neither of you tired of it. 
A small silence grew, and over the course of the last month or so, the pauses had become more and more frequent when the want to speak prevailed, but no one knew what exactly to say. You both blink at one another, noticing that you’ve both been staring heavily. 
Johnny’s throat clears, and he licks his lips before quickly looking away; you awkwardly chuckle and decide that his vest is the most interesting thing in the world.
Both small teams want to bash their heads into a wall. 
“I’ll be seeing you?” Johnny sighs softly, speaking as his accent grows deeper with thought. He wanted to scold himself for his cowardness but had no idea that you were doing the same. 
“Of course,” you nod firmly. “I’m not as big of a fool to ignore my favorite Demolitions Expert.”
“You’re makin’ go all shy now, ya little beast,” Johnny levels, his cheeks gaining a reddish hue. 
You spare a laugh, and that silence once more returns. He wants to tell you, but he’s not sure how, and that itself makes his body tense with indecision—tell you the truth, or live with his own hesitation on your answer. Spare the man, he was too blind to see how much you already adored him.
Blinking away, you clench your jaw and hold out your hand. “Until next time, Sergeant.”
Johnny smiles lightly, eyes going soft. There were so many things he’d accomplished in his life by running head-long into them; by barging down doors and thinking of an exit while his foot was already halfway outside. But this…this he didn’t mind taking his time with. 
You were worth every second. 
Johnny gently grasps your hand, squeezing it as he hums, lips twitching. The teams would have to wait in their annoyance for another day. 
“Until next time, Dearie. Don’t be a stranger.”
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