#hae talks nonsense

[boombams]

so. so like am i incapable of doing work unless its due in the next two hours now or what

[ikjun]

AL'S DRAMA RECS VOL.1: these recs will solely focus on the writing of the shows, which to me comes down to two things: how well does the plot accomplish what it set out to do in the beginning? and how compelling are the characters written, no matter if their character arc means they become better or worse through the story or even remain who they are? my favourite dramas usually succeed in giving us a satisfying answer to both questions and these are the ones you will see on this list!

★★★★★ dramas (aka the greatest hits):

SECRET FOREST / STRANGER (2017-2021): the pinnacle of all dramas. follows the duo of no-nonsense prosecutor hwang si-mok (the acting star turn of he century by cho seung-woo) and police detective han yeo-jin (the ever-exceptional bae doo-na) investigating a murder case that blows open several scandals in the prosecution. season 2 follows several cases leading to an internal investigation on police bribery. it just does not get better than this and i fear it won't ever will. this drama has the understated styling of nordic noir, the classic shenanigans of an unlikely leading kdrama duo, and one of the tightest scripts ever seen in any tv show ever. | genre: thriller, melodrama, crime procedural

MY LIBERATION NOTES (2022): following the yeom family's three siblings living in the small town of sanpo on the outskirts of seoul, and the stranger moving into the house next door to theirs, this story navigates questions of sibling-hood and family, the purpose of life, as well as the sacrifices we make for the relationships in our life as well as our own happiness. this show earned its hype from the central love story between mr. gu and yeom mi-jeong (son seok-ku and kim ji-won acting the house down) but every one of the three main storylines is well-paced, gives the main actors moments to shine and grow, and ties neatly into the overarching plot to render you either moved or comforted, or even both. | genre: slice of life, melodrama

VINCENZO (2020): at this point are there still followers on this blog who haven't at least seen me talk about vincenzo? the writing of this show is maybe the peak of genre-blending done in kdrama, a culmination of years refining this skill to sharp perfection in a biting black comedy. vincenzo cassano (song joong-ki), consiglieri of a mafia clan he got adopted into, goes back to south korea to recover a frankly unholy amount of gold and fights a gigantic conglomerate (babel) to get there. if you watch past episode four, you will finish this drama, because everything ensuing from then on is just one iconic story beat after another. | genre: black comedy / satire, crime, romance

HOSPITAL PLAYLIST (2020-2022): a medical drama beyond reproach. this show is on this list for the way it wrote its characters and achieved the most satisfying character arcs in any kdrama, maybe, ever. a group of five friends in their fourties all working at the same hospital and navigating their professional and private lives, this drama doesn't shy away from eclectic backstories (and the leads all playing music together in a band) as well as truly heart-tearing moments of friendship and romance. never have i seen character growth done as well as i have seen it in the characters of yang seok-hyeong and kim-jun-wan. | genre: medical, slice of life, rom-com

D.P. / DESERTER PURSUIT (2021-2023): d.p. to me is a no-notes kind of show. it depicts the work of the military police pursuing army deserters through freshly enlisted ahn jun-ho (jung hae-in playing years below his age and leagues above many his actual age) who ends up empathizing and working to help and save the deserters he and his team partner han ho-yeol (an exceptional koo kyo-hwan) are meant to bring back to the army instead of incriminating them further. d.p. is much better for its tone, its writing and the risks it takes in its no-nonsense approach than some of the drivel revered solely for being more flashy and showy in this genre. | genre: military drama, action

★★★★☆ dramas (aka near-perfection):

PRISON PLAYBOOK (2017): the perfect prototype of the bromance as romance formula and one of the best found family dramas that really focuses on that. star baseball player kim je-hyuk (park hae-soo in his career-defining role) loses his career and lands in prison after he assaults the ex-boyfriend of his younger sister to protect her. the show centers on je-hyuk's time in prison, where he reunites with his childhood best-friend-now-prison-guard lee jun-ho (a supreme jung kyung-ho) and assimilates himself with the people he meets in his cell. this show hits all the beats so well from a stellar supporting cast to a great comeback kid narrative for je-hyuk from his time in prison to being released. glaring flaw: the age-gap / childhood friends romance, the conclusion of hanyang's story arc, who gets the short end of the stick while being the one out gay character in the show. | genre: black comedy, found family, slice of life

GOBLIN: THE LONELY AND GREAT GOD (2017): the defining kdrama for many. it may be the one drama that really delivers in answering its plot's defining question twice over and then some. goblin kim shin (gong yoo), cursed to immortality, gets his life upended once a grim reaper (lee dong-wook as wang yeo, a performance never to be seen or repeated again since) and the young woman (kim go-eun as ji eun-tak) who turns out to be his fated bride enter his life. an immortal man resigned on life finds purpose while knowing he will fatally die once the woman he falls in love with cures him of his curse. glaring flaw: the age gap romance between eun-tak and kim shin. could she have not been in college at least? | genre: melodrama, romance, fantasy

CRASH LANDING ON YOU (2019): the romance drama that could, and did. based on a real life incident, ceo yoon se-ri (son ye-jin, an acting veteran near beyond reproach imo) accidentally crash lands in north korea after a paragliding flight gone wrong. there she meets active duty soldier captain ri jeong-hyeok (hyun bin, thank you for your service) and has to stay with him and his military company. the fated love story starts there, but neither of them know they have met before, and already changed the courses of each other's lives before doing so again. minor flaw: is this drama romanticising the military? or is depicting of that on screen just that and nothing more? that is up to you to decide. | genre: melodrama, romance

HOMETOWN CHA CHA CHA (2021): the series remake of a korean rom-com film of the early aughts, this remains my favourite romance drama over all. dentist yoon hye-jin (shin min-a blessing our screens) moves to rural gongjin, a seaside village where nothing happens at all, after her professional life in seoul goes up in flames. it's not all sunshine in gongjin either as ye-jin meets hong du-sik (kim seon-ho),a handyman who is called chief hong by everyone and fixes all the big and small fires in the village. the two start as enemies that eventually fall in love. the romance is well-handled and paced and the second lead (lee sang-yi) is the best i have ever seen in a show, especially because of the arc written for him. minor flaw: the plot is not as tight as the respective character arcs, so sometimes sacrifices are made for the sake of a more emotional scenes. | genre: rom-com, slice of life

THE GLORY (2022): when you put the revenge in revenge drama, this is what you can get. song hye-ko returns to small screen brilliance in an incomparable performance as moon dong-eun, a woman who decides to infiltrate the lives of her school bullies and take them down one by one. this show delivers on plot even more than on characters, following through on every step of moon dong-eun's revenge without shying away from how gruesome or painful that path of vengeance can be. dong-eun gets help from plastic surgeon joo yeo-jeong (a delightful lee do-hyun), and the main cast is rounded out by lim ji-yeon and jung sung-il as dong-eun's grown up tormentor and her reluctant husband respectively. minor flaw: the show does spend a big chunk of its time on the group of school bullies and their interpersonal relations, which sometimes takes time away from the main plot. | genre: psychological thriller, revenge drama

♡ more specific genre watches (beware: usually crime):

LIFE (2018): written by the writers of secret forest, life is another thriller with understated direction and a more sombre tone. i would have put it in the greatest hits category, but watching it with other people made me realise how niche it actually is in genre. a corporate hospital thriller, the show revolves around the newly-minted ceo of sangkook university hospital, gu seung-hyo (a once again flawless cho seung-woo) and a dedicated ER doctor (lee dong-wook, stellar as ever) who depict the two sides of the patient care vs. profit conflict in the hospital. i can't even say more about the show because every other plot point is basically a spoiler. sharply directed and written, this is one of the best genre pieces i have ever watched, and is mildly reminiscent of hbo prestige television of the decade before. | genre: medical drama, corporate thriller

THE WORST OF EVIL (2023): are you even surprised? this was the drama of 2023 for me, one of the most stellar scripts i have seen. the worst of evil is very firmly a noir show and you have to treat what you are watching as such. it is heavily entrenched into its genre tropes and arcs, even more than most crime shows i have seen, and that can be off-putting for people unfamiliar with the genre, but if you are up for it, you will not be disappointed. opportune violent crime detective park jun-mo (ji chang wook, korea's finest new gen action actor) infiltrates a drug ring lead by jung gi-cheol ( fantastic and emotional tour de force by wi ha joon) and the lines begin to blur when neither of them knows if what they bargained for is actually what they want. the show lets its main plot dictate the pace, focusing on park jun-mo's descent into crime, and it is all the more better for it. | genre: noir, crime thriller, action

BEYOND EVIL (2020): the story about dejected and grieving small-town detective lee dong-sik (baeksang-awarded veteran actor shin ha-kyun) being partnered with elite detective and spinster seoulite han joo-won (child actor prodigy turned actor to watch du jour) has made its waves online for its very apparent gay subtext, but to reduce beyond evil to this would be a crime in itself. following lee dong-sik and han joo-won as they are tasked to solve a reoccurring serial killer case, the framing plot then fans open the age-old wound of dong-sik losing his twin sister and being blamed for her disappearance with joo-won having taken an obsessive fascination with the case. the two crime cases are exceptionally interwoven and the stories of the people in the small town of manyang, and how they all somehow tie back to dong-sik, is the perfect example of turning the small centrepiece of a plot into the binding force of every thread. | genre: procedural, psychological thriller

OUR BELOVED SUMMER (2021): i put this into the genre-piece category because obl is majorly focused on its main trope. romantic dramas can easily be trite to me, as this obvious list of crime shows doesn't tell you, but our beloved summer is one of the few that did everything right. it plays out the best trope ever done - exes to lovers - and does not back down from embracing the whole shebang to the nth degree. high school / college sweethearts choi woong (known beloved actor on ye-xiu tumblr dot com, choi woo-shik) and kook yeun-soo (the ever great kim da-mi) have to unite to replicate, or rather continue, the viral high school documentary they filmed years ago. the show shimmies its way from one moment of reconnection to another, culminating in the best kdrama kiss to ever be put to screen, and concludes in one of the most satisfying and, yes, romantic endings ever. the things a show can do when it just sticks to its main narrative, huh. | genre: rom-com, coming of age

[the-down-upside-finch]

Find the Word (Tag Game)

DOING ANOTHER ONE BECAUSE I CAN! Ping-ponging off of @k-v-briarwood's post, my words this time are proud, glass, shine, and young.

This time I'mma use my WIP, Stained Integrity! (Managed to keep it relatively spoiler-free with a few minor tweaks haha) Here we go:

Proud

“You should get some sleep while you can,” Clover said. “No, no—I need to keep watch in case--” “I thought you trusted the crew.” “Trust has nothing to do with it, my dear.” Laurie made his way to the door. “I’ll be all right. I’ve gone without sleep before.” “That’s not something you should be proud of.” “Did I say that I’m proud of it?” Laurie’s fingers brushed over the door handle. “Really, my dear—you worry too much.” “I worry too much?” A laugh escaped Clover. “You’re the one that’s about to stay up all night because you’re worried something bad will happen!” “…Touché.” Laurie lightly chuckled. “I’ll see you in the morning, darling.” “Don’t you dare walk out of this room.”

Glass

“Oy—what’s this fuss about accents?” Myrna scoffed, coming up from behind LeRoy. “Just listen to him!” the lady cried, pointing at LeRoy. “That unrefined commoners’ talk has no place here!” LeRoy looked like he’d been slapped. “LeRoy,” the prince started to say. “Now see here--” Myrna began at the same time. LeRoy abruptly got to his feet. “You don’t want me here? Fine.” He picked up his other drink and knocked it back, noisily slamming the empty glass on the table as he set it down. “I don’t feel like putting up with your kind of shit right now—so it’s your lucky day.” With that, he pushed in his chair and strode toward the exit.

Shine

“How,” Ser Hunter said to Myrna, “in Stell’s name did you make that happen?” He gestured across the ship towards the prince and metalsmith’s lively conversation. “Simple,” Myrna replied. “I told Blondie to ask the prince about frogs.” “Oh, of course—why didn’t I think of that?” Ser Hunter chuckled. “He really took a shine to His Highness, despite his… temperament, didn’t he? But still—I hope you warned that commoner what he’s in for.” “Will you stop with your ‘that commoner’ nonsense?” Myrna scoffed. “I’m sure he would prefer that you use his name.” “Myrna.” Ser Hunter stifled a sigh. “I’m just calling a spade a spade. He’s a commoner. Or would you rather I call His Highness by his name, too?” “That’s different—and you know it.” “No, I really don’t see how it’s any different.” Ser Hunter folded his arms. “You call His Highness ‘the prince’ and I call the lowborn ‘the commoner.’ Now, tell me how those two things are different.”

Young

“What exactly are you implying, Dame Starspear?” Captain Lael quietly said. “I’m implying nothing,” she replied. “But I’m telling you that there is a high likelihood that someone was nearly murdered on the night of Stell’s Rise.” “Someone nearly was murdered,” Ser Blaine spat, rising to his feet. “There is a young woman lying unconscious in her chambers, being tended to by our best healer, right now, as we speak.” “Oh, goody,” Master Malina sarcastically said, rolling her eyes. “I was hoping that would be the case.” “Your foreign sense of humor is not one that we appreciate,” Ser Blaine snapped. “Well, I don’t particularly care what you think,” Master Malina breezily responded. “What is the nature of the injuries that the young woman sustained?”

Do I get extra points for the doubles? /j

Aaaannnd I'mma tag (with no pressure!) @card-queen, @lordcatwich, @maskedemerald, @da-na-hae, @fire-but-ashes-too, and leave the tag open for anyone else that wants to join! (If you wanna ping-pong this back, @k-v-briarwood, you are totally welcome to, but I won't make you haha)

I'll give you guys the words snap, slump, deny, and moment!

[johnny-kobayakawa-television2015]

Thomas and Friends: Sodor Online Journeys (Story 59): The Deputation

Snow came early that year on the Island of Sodor. It was heavier than usual. It stayed too, and choked the lines. Most engines hate snow. Donald and Douglas were use to it. They were soon coupled back to back, with a van between their tenders. Then, each with a snowplough on their fronts, as they set to work. They puffed busily backwards and forwards patrolling the line. Generally the snow slipped away easily, but sometimes they found deeper drifts. Presently, they came to a drift which was larger than most. They charged it, and were just backing up for another try when there was a feeble and a whistle. People waved and shouted for help. "Losh sakes, Donal, it's Henry! Dinna fash yersel, Henry. Bide a wee. We'll hae ye oot!"

Henry was feeling grateful. He saw all was not well. The twins were glum. They told him that the Fat Controller was returning soon/They told him that Sir Topham Hatt was making a decision. "He'll send uz back/away for shair," they said. "It's a shame!" sympathised Percy. "A lot of nonsense about a signalbox," grumbled Gordon. "That Brake Van too," put in James. "Good riddance. That's what I say." They were splendid in the snow/the twins were splendid in the snow," added Henry. "It isn't fair." They all agreed that something must be done, but none knew what.

One day, Percy talked to Edward about it. "What you need," said Edward, "is a Deputation." He explained what that was. When Edward finished, Percy ran back quickly.

"Edward says we need a Depotstation," he told the others. "Of course," said Gordon, "the question is…" "…what is a desperation?" asked Henry. "It's when engines tell the Fat Controller/Sir Topham Hatt something's wrong," said Percy, "and ask him to put it right." "Did you say tell the Fat Controller/Sir Topham Hatt?" asked Duck thoughtfully. There was a long silence.

[20 seconds later]

"I propose," said Gordon at last, "that Percy be our-er-hmm-disputation." "HI!/ME!" squeaked Percy. "I can't." "Rubbish, Percy." said Henry. "It's easy." "That's settled then," said Gordon. Poor Percy wished it wasn't!

"Hullo Percy! It's nice to be back." Percy jumped. Some trucks/cars went flying. "I uh y-y-yes Sir, please Sir." "You look nervous, Percy. What's the matter?" "Please Sir, they've made me a Desperation Sir. But to speak to you Sir. I don't like it Sir." The Fat Controller/Sir Topham Hatt pondered. "Do you mean a Deputation, Percy?" he asked. "Yes Sir, please Sir. It's Donald and Douglas Sir. They say, Sir, that if you send them away, Sir, they'll be turned into Scrap, Sir. That'd be dreadful, Sir. Please Sir, don't them away, Sir. They're nice engines, Sir." "Thank you, Percy. That will do." After that, he walked away.

Later, the Fat Controller/Sir Topham Hatt spoke to the Engines. "I had a deputation yesterday," said the Fat Controller/Sir Topham Hatt. "I understand your feelings, but I do not approve of interference./I understand your feelings, but I do not approve the matter." He paused impressively. "Donald and Douglas, I hear that your work in the snow was good. What colour paint would you like?" The twins were surprised. "Blue, Sirr, please." "Very well. But your names will be painted on you. We'll have no more 'mistakes'." "Thankye, Sirr. Dis this mean that the baith o' uz…?" The Fat Controller/Sir Topham Hatt smiled. "It means…" But the rest of his speech was drowned in a delighted chorus of cheers and whistles. The twins were here to stay.

Story End

[nijjhar]

Learned Book people are spiritually Blind. The Gospel Truth is known fro... Learned Book people are spiritually Blind. The Gospel Truth is known from God through Intuition ONLY. https://youtu.be/6T25UQB0F-w Holy Gospel of our SUPERNATURAL FATHER of our supernatural “souls” Elohim, Allah, ParBrahm, etc., delivered by the first Anointed Christ, which in my native language Punjabi, we call Satguru Jesus of the highest living God Elohim, Allah, Parbrahm, etc. that dwells within His most beautiful living Temple of God created by the greatest artist demiurge Potter, the lord of the visible Nature Yahweh, Brahma, Khudah, etc. and it is called Harmandir or “Emmanuel” if you are not “greedy” according to Christ = Satguru Rajinder:- It is Very good to know the Sikh Centre in Oxford. I live in Reading. Do you know that Christ Jesus was the First Satguru and Nanak, the Second Coming of Jesus? A Sikh has no enemy or stranger, so why bring swords of Khalsas in the Gurdwara? Not a single Sikh, Hindu or Muslim died during the partition of India but the tribal people were born. The best people to know Sikhi are the illiterate village people. Learned people in the University do not ponder themselves but read the books of others. They are not Giani but spiritually blind people. GIANI OH JO AAP VICHARE. SIKHS LEARN THROUGH "INTUITION". If you are a Sikh, then tell me the Third Vasto; ISS THAAL VICH TINN VASTO BHEYO; SATT, SANTOKH VICHARO (Find out the third Vasto and Vichar is not a Vasto). You have degrees in Theology whilst I am a retired Senior Lecturer in Metallurgy. It would be nice to exchange views. With God, there is no PIAAR, Eros but Prem, Agape. Educated people talk nonsense. Sikh is not a Qom but a Panth open to all. My Jatt Qom is not open to all but to my tribal people. JHAKHH MARDAE PARRDAE. Living Islam of Living Allah is of the “Al-Kitab” that gets written over your own heart through "Logical Reasoning" by the Grace of our Supernatural Father of our supernatural “Soul” Al-Ilah = Allah. No son of your tribal father, Qom, "Ilah" no son of Supernatural Father Allah = INSHALLAH ISLAM. Only “fools” will believe in me and not in Allah. Punjabi - What should a Sikh Temple and Church flag be like? The flag should signify SHAMS CANDLE of the Menorah. https://youtu.be/vlr7HOOzrDc Real Islam is the knowledge of our spiritual Supernatural Father Allah (Pakka Peo) for the twice-born "Seekers" of age 20 to 25 years who are faithful to and have the knowledge of their natural tribal father or Qom, Kabeela, Ilah, etc. that they can see or have “Surti” of the natural world. https://youtu.be/gSwPvK3B4rg The Sons of Allah "Sufi Muslims" go by the Al-Kitab of Allah and enjoy the Shariah-Free Inshallah Islam whilst the spiritually blind Disciples of Shia, Sunni, Ahmediya, etc. Mullah's Inshmullah Islams, suffer under Satan Al-Djmar Al-Aksa. Allah is "NOOR", Spirit, you cannot apply Shariah on Noor. https://youtu.be/LyAx7F6GeuQ MUSSALLMAN = GURMUKH SIKH. https://youtu.be/7VmQG3ew19E That is why the Gurmukh Sikh Pir Mian Mir Ji was invited to lay the FOUNDATION STONE OF HARMANDIR SAHIB. http://www.gnosticgospel.co.uk/JattIslam.htm NANAK HOSI BHI SACH. ASK, SEEK AND KNOCK. REAL SHARIAH-FREE ISLAM OF ALLAH - NOOR IN HONOUR OF ROYAL SHAH SHAMS TABRIZI. HUKUM RAZIAN CHALNA; NANAK LIKHYA NAAL. Sants of the Fourth Panth = Millatt are “Dass”. They are the Apostles residents of the Akal Takht but today, terrorists with Guns and swords are occupying it. Remember that Akal Takht is the Holiest of the Holy Takht for the spiritual rule over the hearts of the people. Next to the Apostles are the Khalsas of the Third Panth and are of the “Singh” surnames, Gotras. And Christ Nanak was the Second Coming of Satguru Jesus, the “Christ = Satguru” and not a Brahmin “Guru” of the world – BRAHMIN HAE “GURU” JAGATT DAA; BHAGTAN KAA NAHI. The greedy Khatris have messed up the devotees so much that they did not know the First and the Second Panths. http://www.gnosticgospel.co.uk/tenlights.htm Akal Takht for the Roving Apostles, NIRMALLAE SANTS and Harmandir Sahib for the Sikh Bhagtan are occupied by TERRORISTS. https://youtu.be/QasTTQLRs28 My ebook by Kindle. ASIN: B01AVLC9WO www.gnosticgospel.co.uk/JAntisem.htm www.gnosticgospel.co.uk/JOHN 8V44.htm Any helper to finish my Books:- ONE GOD ONE FAITH:- www.gnosticgospel.co.uk/bookfin.pdf and in Punjabi KAKHH OHLAE LAKHH:-  www.gnosticgospel.co.uk/pdbook.pdf EXPOSES the CROOK KHATRIS:- Punjab Siyan. John's baptism:- www.gnosticgospel.co.uk/johnsig.pdf Trinity:- www.gnosticgospel.co.uk/trinity.pdf

[hwadam-stories]

| College Student Empress (Light Novel) - English Translation (MTL)

| Translation Tool: Chat GPT

| Chapter 10: This Guy Is Really...

| Notes: Italics / Bold pink texts is meant for character thoughts.

Si-han showed no particular reaction to the sudden and seemingly out-of-place comment from Hae-seol. He raised one eyebrow slightly, as if to say, "What did I just hear?" but that was all. However, as soon as Si-han returned to Taepyeongjeon, he summoned Yoo-wi, who had not yet left work, and abruptly asked,

“What kind of woman was the Empress?”

Yoo-wi, who was absorbed in overtime work alone in the Emperor's empty room, stared blankly at Si-han, thinking it was nonsense.

“What do you mean by 'what kind of woman'...?”

It was odd that Si-han, who usually disliked any talk about the Empress except for badmouthing her, had gone to the Empress's palace as if he were excited to see something amusing, and then came back soon after to ask such a question out of the blue.

Si-han pressed on the topic again.

“The ministers wouldn’t have just picked any woman and put her in that position. My mother wouldn’t have brought her into the palace just because she came from a good family. I disliked her from the start because my opinion was ignored, but there must have been some qualities that others saw in her. What were they? And what about her flaws?”

The more Si-han spoke, the more puzzled Yoo-wi became, and he tilted his head. As Si-han mentioned, the Empress’s selection was heavily influenced by the Empress Dowager, but it was clear that they hadn’t just chosen any noble’s daughter.

The women who were considered as candidates were thoroughly evaluated for their behavior, appearance, public opinion, and even their horoscopes, and the Empress had passed all these tests.

“I heard she was a lady without any flaws.”

The question was why Si-han was asking such a thing now.

Even as he answered, Yoo-wi felt uneasy. Si-han, sitting back in his seat, pressed further.

“Did the Empress perhaps have a lover before the wedding...”

Yoo-wi’s expression hardened even more at this absurd question, but his answer came immediately.

“I never heard of such a story.”

“Is that true?”

“It is true.”

While arranged marriages were common among royalty and nobility, it was not unheard of for them to marry their lovers, and love marriages were prevalent among commoners. Even if the Empress had loved someone before entering the palace, it wouldn’t have been a flaw. However, to Yoo-wi's knowledge, the Empress had not had deep relationships with anyone, male or female, before entering the palace.

Si-han leaned back in his chair, tapping his fingertips on his knee and narrowing his eyes.

“Why do you ask?”

Worried, Yoo-wi finally questioned, seeking to understand the situation, but instead of answering, Si-han sat quietly, lost in deep thought.

Si-han’s barely audible mumbling, “It can’t be true,” was heard, but it was still an incomprehensible remark.

***

Hae-seol, who had skillfully diverted the Emperor’s attention that was tilting towards an imperial decree, sat alone at the desk in the now quiet room and smiled proudly. This is why it’s essential for a person to have expertise in at least one field.

Of course, Hae-seol had diverted the Emperor's attention without knowing why he had suddenly appeared, why he asked about the decree, or whether his interest was good or bad. The Emperor might have changed his mind and decided to investigate properly after asking why Hae-seol brought the decree.

'As if.'

However, Hae-seol, who had heard numerous stories about the bad relationship between the Emperor and Empress and had personally heard the Emperor's harsh words several times, was confident that hiding the truth was a wiser choice than hoping for a 'maybe.' It was a shame that she now had less time to face his handsome face because the Emperor had fled, though.

'Well, I should get back to what I was doing.'

Hae-seol pulled the decree closer and opened the first page.

Since there was no chance of the Emperor making a U-turn and coming back, and the Empress Dowager would never make a surprise visit in the middle of the night, disregarding decorum and etiquette like the Emperor, she could now safely examine the contents in detail.

However, even after staying up almost until dawn and scrutinizing various things, there was nothing noteworthy. Hae-seol pressed her increasingly throbbing eyelids with her thumb, blaming the inadequate lighting compared to LED lights, and closed the book.

It was disappointing. Although she hadn't expected to identify the culprit immediately - well, maybe a little - confirming that there was nothing at all made her feel even more frustrated.

A surge of frustration made her wonder if it might be better to give up on all this and focus on finding a way to regain her original body. Hae-seol sighed, knowing that the way back to her original body was probably even more uncertain and difficult than this.

'I need to get some sleep first.'

Feeling dizzy and lightheaded, Hae-seol went to bed and burrowed under the covers.

It seemed she had dozed off in that state. Hae-seol blinked blankly at the sound of Wol-ryeo's voice waking her and twisted her body under the covers.

"Your Majesty, Empress."

Unable to enter the room, Wol-ryeo kept calling her.

Barely managing to gather her thoughts and about to respond, Hae-seol heard Wol-ryeo explaining to someone, "It seems Her Majesty is still asleep."

'Who could it be?'

Who would come looking for her at this hour? Wondering, Hae-seol raised her voice, "I’m awake."

As she waited, the middle door opened, and Wol-ryeo and Myeong-wol entered.

"Who is it?"

"The Grand Chancellor has come, Your Majesty."

"Ah."

Hae-seol nodded and got up from bed, Myeong-wol quickly approached to help her dress. After a quick wash with the water brought by another court lady, Hae-seol simply tied her hair and ordered Shin Seol-ju to be allowed in.

Since it was her father, there was no need to be perfectly formal, and it didn't seem right to keep him waiting after he had come to see her.

Myeong-wol hesitated, unsure if this was appropriate, and glanced at Wol-ryeo and the Empress for guidance, but Wol-ryeo, who had originally worked in Shin Seol-ju's household, seemed to share Hae-seol's view and promptly brought Shin Seol-ju into the room.

"I hope I didn't wake you unnecessarily, Your Majesty."

Shin Seol-ju entered with a pink cloth bundle in his hand. Recognizing it contained the registry she had requested, Hae-seol waved her hand dismissively and gestured for Shin Seol-ju to sit at the table.

“I usually wake up earlier than this, but I slept in a bit today. It was almost time to wake up anyway.”

Instead of making more small talk, Shin Seol-ju pushed the bundle on the table toward Hae-seol. Hae-seol quickly untied it.

As expected, inside was the book she had handed over. Upon skimming through it, she saw that each entry included not only the person's name but also a brief description, the reasons for considering them dangerous, and the level of threat they posed.

There was even a section about Gong-rin.

Surname: Gong.

Not immediately harmful due to weak disposition but potentially a significant future adversary.

‘Hmm. Weak disposition probably means timid. Even through the Empress’s father’s eyes, Gong-rin isn’t evil.’

Hae-seol felt a bit frightened by the reality where even a gentle person could be classified as a threat regardless of their true nature. She also felt somewhat daunted. Nonetheless, she remained determined to confront the Empress’s enemies.

“Thank you, Father. I’ll review this thoroughly.”

“If you need any assistance, don’t hesitate to ask.”

“Yes.”

“Your mother is always worried because you suffer in silence and don’t express your troubles.”

The Empress’s mother… Feeling an inexplicable guilt as she did when she first met Shin Seol-ju, Hae-seol meekly nodded and said, “Yes.”

***

After Shin Seol-ju left, Hae-seol gave a similar book to Wol-ryeo and asked her to compile a registry based on her opinions.

Wol-ryeo looked at the Empress with a bewildered expression but didn’t refuse Hae-seol’s request. Having observed everything closely, she understood better than anyone why Hae-seol was acting this way. However, she seemed unsure whether she should be responsible for such an important list.

“I worry that my personal biases might affect it, Your Majesty.”

“If there are people Wol-ryeo views negatively, they would likely be harmful to me as well. It’s fine.”

Moved, Wol-ryeo’s lips trembled slightly, causing Hae-seol to feel embarrassed and look away.

The next day, Hae-seol received the registry and the real sword she had requested from Wol-ryeo two days ago.

***

Having gathered the enemy registry and the sword, summoned the Grand Chancellor, and gone directly to the Seonggeumbu to retrieve the decree, Hae-seol had been quite busy lately. However, she found herself experiencing a bit of a lull recently.

“There’s no one to meet with. Naturally, there’s no one to confront. So, I can’t take the initiative to investigate.”

As Hae-seol murmured to herself, propping her chin on the table and sighing, Wol-ryeo gave a bitter smile, as if to say there was no helping it.

“Since Your Majesty is well-regarded within the palace, even the opposition cannot openly antagonize you.”

“And they’ll send assassins behind my back.”

“Everything will be fine, don’t worry, Your Majesty.”

Hae-seol let out a long sigh. What was the point of compiling a registry? She couldn’t investigate those people directly. Without concrete evidence, questioning suspects based on mere suspicions would make her seem like the instigator. Setting out to capture the enemy could give them an excuse to target her.

The authority to manage the inner palace belonged to the Empress, but since the Empress Dowager currently held that power, Hae-seol couldn't use it. While she could secretly have someone investigate those listed in the registry, she couldn't think of anyone trustworthy enough to handle such a risky and important task. Asking Shin Seol-ju would be too obvious, and Wol-ryeo lacked experience in handling such matters.

It would have been fine if things were progressing or being resolved bit by bit, but remaining stagnant was making her restless. If she knew she was completely safe, she could at least relax openly. The stagnation in a situation where she couldn't let her guard down was just tedious.

"Would you like to have some tea with me?"

On her way back from paying respects to the Empress Dowager, Hae-seol impulsively called out to Gong-rin in this frustrating situation.

"Pardon?"

Gong-rin, who had been standing with her hands neatly clasped, waiting for the Empress to go first, stuttered as if she thought she had misheard.

"Ah... I apologize, Your Majesty. I didn’t hear you properly."

Hae-seol, who had second thoughts after stopping Gong-rin, calmly repeated her question when Gong-rin said she hadn't heard properly.

"I asked if you would like to have some tea with me."

Gong-rin, looking flustered, covered her face with both hands. She seemed never to have received such a request from the Empress before.

"Do you not have time?"

At Hae-seol’s question, Gong-rin hurriedly shook her head.

"No, I was just so surprised..."

Even Wol-ryeo, standing behind, as well as Gong-rin's maids, looked at Hae-seol with worried expressions.

'Why? Her name is on the registry, and aside from that, we run into each other at the Empress Dowager’s residence every few days. Ignoring each other every time is more awkward, isn’t it?'

Ignoring the stinging gazes, Hae-seol asked once more.

"Is that alright then? If not today, another time is fine."

"It’s alright. It’s alright."

Despite her hesitation, Gong-rin accepted Hae-seol's invitation. Gong-rin's maids were visibly anxious, but she seemed to have mustered a great deal of courage. Hae-seol smiled warmly at her and extended her hand.

But before Gong-rin could take Hae-seol’s hand,

a cold male voice interrupted.

"Do you know what the Empress might do if you follow her?"

[deerydear]

"“What is a word or phrase that you totally misunderstood as a child?”

When I was young my father said to me: “Knowledge is power, Francis Bacon.” I understood it as “Knowledge is power, France is bacon.” For more than a decade I wondered over the meaning of the second part and what was the surreal linkage between the two. If I said the quote to someone, “Knowledge is power, France is Bacon,” they nodded knowingly. Or someone might say, “Knowledge is power” and I’d finish the quote “France is bacon,” and they wouldn’t look at me like I’d said something very odd, but thoughtfully agree. I did ask a teacher what did “Knowledge is power, France is bacon” mean and got a full 10-minute explanation of the “knowledge is power” bit but nothing on “France is bacon.” When I prompted further explanation by saying “France is bacon?” in a questioning tone, I just got a “yes.” At 12 I didn’t have the confidence to press it further. I just accepted it as something I’d never understand. It wasn’t until years later I saw it written down that the penny dropped.

My other friend Carolyn Givens asked “does this qualify as a mondegreen?” I didn’t know what a mondegreen was, so I went down a rabbit hole...

A mondegreen is a word or phrase that results from a mishearing — often a mishearing of a song lyric. The word mondegreen was coined by the writer Sylvia Wright in a 1954 article in The Atlantic, “The Death of Lady Mondegreen.” As a child, Wright had been fond of a Scottish ballad that included the lines,

They hae slain the Earl Amurray And laid him on the green.

Little Sylvia Wright thought that second line was “And Lady Mondegreen,” which, to be fair, does sound exactly like “And laid him on the green.” Her version of the ballad was twice as tragic as the original, since it involved not only the death of Earl Amurray but also the death of Lady Mondegreen.

Everybody, it seems, has stories of misheard lyrics, often from their childhood. My brother-in-law Tom was six years old when Eddie Money released his hit song, “Two Tickets to Paradise”—or, as Tom heard it, “Two Chickens in Paradise.” I remember what it was like to be little and listening to the radio. People are using figurative language to talk about things you wouldn’t understand even if they were being literal. So you do the best you can. You search around for something you do understand that might have some relationship to the string of sounds you’re hearing. For a literal-minded six-year-old “two chickens in paradise” might not make a lot of sense, but it doesn’t make any less sense than “two tickets to paradise.” Kids are used to repeating things they don’t understand. I used to repeat “I pledge allegiance to the flag” at least five times a week. I don’t know what I thought I was saying; I’m quite sure, however, that I didn’t know what either “pledge” or “allegiance” meant.

I’ve known Elvis Presley’s song “Return to Sender” my whole life. Except that for the first part of my life, I got it in my head that he was singing “Regundazinda.” It’s not that I thought “regundazinda” meant anything; I just concluded it was a nonsense word and quit trying to make meaning out of it. After all, I didn’t waste any time trying to ascertain the meaning of “doo ron ron ron” or “wop boppa loo bop a wop bam boom” either. When I finally learned that the line was really “Return to sender,” I thought, “Yeah, I guess that makes a certain kind of sense too.”

It’s strange, isn’t it, that once you settle on what something means, your mind calcifies around it. I know that the lyric is really “return to sender.” I’ve known it for probably forty years now. But if I were alone and singing to myself, I would almost certainly sing “Regundazinda.” To me that still feels like the original version, the version I knew before the revisionists came along with their new lyrics."

Continue reading...

[a-dose-of-oranges]

Post 04 - Green Carnations

03/19/2024 9:55 pm

Last week, I was thinking about how around this time last year I felt I reached a milestone in my own healing. In Spring of 2023, I read the last installment of The Last Hours series by Cassandra Clare. This probably sounds nonsensical, but let me explain:

I jokingly tied my self-development to whether or not Matthew Fairchild gets his own healing arc. My closest friends would periodically hear me say "If Matthew Fairchild dies, I will bring back the bitch from July 2022." I claimed that the version of me that seemingly struggled the most was standing at the threshold of my body. If Matthew gets to live, I would let her go. If Matthew was killed off, she gets to come back in and I would, metaphorically, rain hellfire.

I do not think I would have actually reverted back to a very unstable place if he was killed off. However, despite my silly little claims, it did mean a lot to me when Matthew Fairchild did not die. It meant even more to me that he was also able to overcome his own hardships and pursue his dreams by the end of Chain of Thorns. My words did hold power because as I figured out where his character arc was going I saw it as a sign to myself that I was also moving in the right direction.

Fast forward to now. Something in the past couple of weeks has had me feeling uncomfortable. Part of it is the realization that change is coming again as I submitted transfer applications for college. I also considered that I have unresolved feelings from the many things that happened last fall. And maybe it's unresolved feelings from a lot of things I repressed in general. Regardless, I found myself bedridden for a majority of my spring break last week. I never craved for Matthew Fairchild content more.

As Monday approached, the thought of going to class made me feel sick. I wanted to be a hermit. I did not want to be perceived. I certainly did not feel like doing work. But alas, time moves on and so should I. To dip my toes in being in public again, I went grocery shopping with my mom and my brother on Sunday.

I desperately wanted to go home. as much as I do love Costco. Even the thought of the steal that is a $1.50 hotdog/soda combo could not pick me up. Therefore, it was hopeless. Until a bouquet of green and white flowers caught my eye.

If I'm being honest, I gave up on the idea of ever finding green carnations anywhere. They do not appear naturally, after all. Green carnations were only worn by Oscar Wilde's followers after they artificially dyed pink or white carnations. I figured my best bet would be to follow their actions, and yet they were sitting right in front of me at Costco.

I had abandoned the idea of a Matthew Fairchild story saving me this spring. Somehow, I was wrong about that, too. I have mentioned what the green carnation means to me. The ties between Oscar Wilde and Matthew Fairchild, my appreciation for both the real and the fictional. I spoke about how love is green--how I arrogantly placed my own meaning into the flower (I still do). Finding those flowers felt like a reminder that in spite of my frequent bedrotting and crying, I will still get up as long as I allow myself to. I would not have found them had I chosen to stay indoors when I could have. And while I would have picked myself up eventually to get back to school and work and life, I imagine the process to be rougher without the little sign at Costco.

Love,

Hae-Lim

(We're gonna ignore the fact that it's been two years. I have so much to talk about, and maybe I will be too overwhelmed to be able to articulate everything, but I think I want to try.)

[boombams]

ok wow that hyperfixation hit me like a truck

[mythvoiced]

@theimpalpable​ | "I don't often get the chance to talk to someone like you." (Maybe for...Hae-Geon and Soleiel? IF YOU THINK IT'S FITTING, OF COURSE, IF NOT, FEEL FREE TO DISMISS UwU) 400 RANDOM DIALOGUE PROMPTS

---

The intricacies of Soleiel’s mind are not for them to explore.

The mere acknowledgement that they’re indeed a possessor of wits that would qualify for the descriptive mind is perhaps already beyond the limitations of what a being of their calibre, of their essence, is supposed to busy themself with, but there’s a lot here that a handful up above might consider so truly and utterly beyond what Soleiel is meant to achieve on Earth, that this would be the least of the things mentioned on a list Soleiel is as aware of as they’re unwilling to vocalise.

It wasn’t their intention, they’ll be truthful in these regards, and in most others as well, not only because they understand the power of words intimately enough that they feel their touch on layers of their being nothing should be given access to, but because Soleiel simply wouldn’t lie to Hae-Geon. And that, too, wasn’t their intention.

Angels aren’t allowed favourites, they’ll make this clear for as long as they can, because it is safer to claim universal truths over and over again and let them defend your stance, rather than uncover the reality they’re hiding, and face the consequences that not even Soleiel can foresee. But as they do with places and colours, as they do with snow and sun, mountain and beach, up and down, left and right, they reclaim universal truths with meaningful stares and a gaze that won’t quite waver, deeply set on the back of Hae-Geon’s head as the tailor moves within his world in a way the angel imagines only he is truly allowed to.

Little crevices hidden within the vastness of the universe, how can Soleiel not be curious to uncover their little nooks and crannies? How can they resist, when something never seen before rounds the corner and smiles inwardly at the type of remarks that usually prompts strangers to issue demands that somehow always end with the entitlement to ask for the angel to claim and state things subconsciously meant to defend their existence before the stranger who has exceeded how far they can take their wits and allow them along for the unpleasant journey that is a conversation with none other than the angel of discordance themself?

Conundrums are their favourites, and novelties come in close second, Hae-Geon had made up a bit of both, beautifully private and surprisingly willing to engage only as far as he may, non-argumentative but a strong debater, a mind that have seen things if only that look in his eyes is anything to go by, the kind difficult to find within a being that hasn’t lived nearly twenty lives, metaphorical or literal as that statement may be taken.

He speaks as though he knows exactly what you want from him, as he’s spoken with enough people and knows his position in the world, the role he’s played in it, well enough that he won’t allow anyone to trick him into defending nor negating it. Which is just wonderful for Soleiel, who usually demands all of this and more, but finds themself wanting nothing in particular from the tailor.

Another problem.

This.

And how angel’s aren’t supposed to have favourites. And how perhaps they’re meant to pull out more truths and dig up more lies rather than spending their time here, getting acquainted with the insides of Hae-Geon’s parlour, with his hands as he sets to work and uses them, perhaps subconsciously perhaps not so, in all those characterising mannerisms that make up being, human or not as it may be - hell, they have been told to have some of them themself.

The problem of wasting time, the problem of talking for the sake of talking, of sitting on this stool as they don’t intend on being anywhere else, the problem of tilting their head at the first opportunity of eye contact with the one they’re forcing their status as guest upon - although, perhaps ‘forcing’ is not the right word, if the atmosphere elicits that line out of the other.

The problem of smiling, unblinking and unbothered, the epitome of still waters of an ocean for once not intending to take lives and corpses as deep into its depths as they may go.

“Is the vagueness of that sentence meant to serve a purpose? How I may interpret it as I find most fitting or as insecurities most demand of me?” The problem of sitting every chance they get because they can’t get enough of being at eye-level with him, the problem of placing both their hands between their thighs, holding onto the edges of the stool to lean forward, as if their siblings haven’t always wrongly referred to them as amongst the stiffest of them, firm, eerie, unmoving. “You could easily fool someone into a false sense of security like this, Shin Hae-Geon,” they lean back, it’s not a game, nothing is, but it can sure delight like one, the same way you can be delighted by a flower while knowing someone had to pluck it out of its home to leave it there in a vase for you to see. Inappropriate smiles to life as they know it, the pure and raw delight of speaking into the space of someone who will engage, and ask right back, while knowing, secretly, how they will always, inevitably and unavoidably, say hurtful things.

“‘Someone like you’ tends to make people still, have you ever witnessed this? The way they will freeze minutely, the smallest frown, as they begin to wonder what ‘someone like them’ means. All their flaws and virtues flashing through their mind, at varying degrees of accuracy, influenced by their own perception of the inherent goodness of their being, or lack thereof, the fear of the self-loathing, and the arrogance of the equally blind self-adoring ones. But you used ‘chance’, opportunity, the possibility to achieve something, never heard it used for working towards a loss considered as such.”

A chuckle. A slight shake of their shoulders, the scrunching of their nose into their features, the shutting of their lips, as if their body was readying for a flinch, the motion of someone with broken ribs trying to hold in a cough, lest they must endure more pain than being earnest is worth: they’re not used to laughing. “I do hope this is a positive assessment. One that insinuates you’d rather get more opportunities to talk to someone like me,” their smile fades into something softer, less trembling at the edge of their seat. “Although you’ll find conversations with someone unlike me are easier to hold. That’s what I’ve been told, at least. For what it’s worth, I don’t often get the chance to talk to someone like you either, Shin Hae-Geon. And I spend quite a lot of time talking to quite a lot of someone’s. I can’t often say, though, that I do it for the purpose of actually talking to someone. In earnest. And for nothing but the joy of talking. Of company.”

[ladyalienist]

Radical Fatphobia

I just gotta love how in all the "hot topics" radfems got (surrogacy, sex industry, TRA/queer nonsense, abortion ban, you name it, we got it) the discourse about beauty standards seem to revolve around shaving and make-up.

Don't get me wrong, those are important issues, both for us and the enviroinment. But... aren't we kinda sleeping on the other big thing about beauty standards for women? Which is... being thin?

I mean. Many of you will speak about eating disorders and starving one's self in order to reach the unattainable body standard we have or about how body standards change every decade or so causing women to never feel good in their bodies, but I'm afraid that so many of you are totally... not understanding just how much "being thin=being morally good" is ingrained in your brain.

Like, when I started peeking into feminist (liberal ones) circles back into 2014-2015 sometimes I would stumble upon the occasional fat-positive thing. "It's ok to have a belly!", "Fat and fabulous!", and I'm pretty sure liberals are still sometimes giving these little pills of comfort to us fatties. In radical feminism... this topic seems to just not exist. Not being discussed. Nada de nada, just the occasional "oh so many young girls are starving themselves to look like literal skeletons :(", and that's true but what about those girls who do not look like skeletons?

I'll be brutally blunt: I think that many of you do not give a fuck.

I've seen positivity posts being derailed into talking about visceral fat and lectures about how we're gonna die soon. I've seen every possible critique to HAES approach, from very grounded to very stupid.

Trust me: FAT WOMEN KNOW THIS. We know we're gonna die soon, we know visceral fat is killing us, we know every fucking stat in the box, because THE WHOLE WORLD IS EAGER TO TELL US, the whole world wants us to be miserable every time, and guess what? That's mostly because of capitalism. The very same capitalism radfem ideology tries to fight, you know.

The science behind weight and nutrition is not as black and white as so many of you want to believe it is. Dieting is a multi-billion dollars industry that relies on its own inefficiency - this means: DIETS. DO NOT. WORK. In 95% of cases. The only thing that gives a hope for consistent weight loss is surgery, with all the associated risks, and even then... it's not GRANTED. We do not know how to make fat people thin, and it is NOT OUR FAULT. We do not know how to properly "cure" obesity - hell we struggle even to define it, because BMI is a shitty way to do so.

"Fat people should keep in mind that they will die young" yeah and you know what makes our lives even shorter? The constant, unavoidable knowledge that being fat means people will be disgusted by us. The guilt we feel for enjoying a fucking plate of pasta. The stress of being targeted and harassed since age five, of being put on diets soon after, of being the bottom of every joke, of having fewer chances not only at a fullfilling love life (I could write another long rant about what relationships are like as a fat woman) but also at a satisfying career in every field and good social circles, of having things (clothes, cars, public transport) not designed for us. Stress fucking destroys every system in human body but somehow it's just visceral fat's fault, and thus fat people do not deserve any positivity in their life, they do not deserve to think "my body can be ok the way it is even if I have a tummy", no, they must feel miserable all the fucking time even in self-called radical feminist spaces. No fucking fat person, let alone woman, wants to be fat: if we had a safe, functioning way to become thin we would do it. But God forbid we ever, ever stop hating our bodies, no matter how much in every other instance it's clear that it leads us nowhere.

Honestly fuck you and your faux concern for health. I never see you this eager to tell smokers that they will die young, I never see you talking about how legal drugs can and will cause health problems, or about the toxicity of sugary food in general. It's always about visceral fat.

If you are not fat yourself I don't care how much you seriously think you're in the right for saying that fat is a risk for health under any little fat positivity post, fuck you. The person behind the post most likely perfectly knows and you've just made their day a little more miserable with no reason other than... you still thinking you're morally superior.

And just so you know, even if your BMI is 18 and you only eat salads and spend all of your spare time at the gym... you will, eventually, die. Just like us fatties.

[thejeonginshands]

Secret Love Song | BangChan

(you can scan the QR code to get the Playlist)

Materlist | Synopsis | Part 2

Warning: This story may contain foul language and misuse of words, along with explicit erotic narration, please don't be rude about it. I don't want to sexualize any of the idols used in this story, please know how to separate fiction from reality, so don't make a drama in a glass of water. There will be spelling mistakes so don't make a crazy scene about it either, the story will be corrected when it's finished.

seohae's house, 2021

Being an idol was never easy for anyone, the fact of having to be deprived of the things you used to do, to be made to change the way you express yourself, the way you laugh, the way you joke, the way you dress, the way you sing; the simple fact of being a project for someone else is undoubtedly what makes being an idol so complicated and many times, unbearable. Seohae didn't quite know the consequences her unsupervised actions would cause on her career. She had only been the leader of DREAMS for a year and a few months and when she turned on her cell phone and the first thing she saw was an article talking about her saying that Bangchan was unattractive, it was a blow to her face.

Seohae was the most active when it came to doing vlives or just hanging out with her fans, she had a good time with them and loved too share how she did back in the day, talk about anything as if they were family, and they were. Seohae would always be there for her fans and they would always be there for her, that's how the roles were and survival was enjoyable. Seohae being the one who does the most vlives tends a lot to talk about other idols or answer questions she's not supposed to ask. For a female idol to talk about a male group was impressive. So when she was asked if Bangchan looked cute to her, she was honest about it. She said no.

But why was she being attacked so much, were there really people out there who think everyone likes their biases or just the boys themselves? Seohae didn't consider herself a girl who enjoys watching guys doing anything, let alone women, she was just neutral. And everyone realized that when Seohae and her members saw an idol ripping her shirt off at an awards show and the entire audience burst into screams and there were many girls who even almost fainted. Why were people getting excited about that? It was an abdomen, there was nothing more exciting to watch.

But she never thought she would be attacked for that, and taking clips of her "hating" men out of context and getting more people who don't even know her… insulting and judging her. Seohae didn't hate men like people out there say about her, those compilations were just moments where she was caught off guard or just plain serious. She didn't hate anyone, least of all because of her gender.

So to be attacked by Stay and others just for saying that Bangchan didn't think she was handsome was a surprise to her. No doubt something that would affect her good relationship with the CEOS's.

━Good morning. ━Yeji enters the room with a plate of chopped fruit and plops down on the bed of his leader who was checking his cell phone.

━Ah, yeah ━Still reading, Yeji peeks out to see what she was seeing. ━What are you doing?

━Nothing. Just wondering what's got you so into that cell phone, you hate using it in the morning, you said it gets heavy on you. ━Seohae turned it off and put it down on the bed running her hand over her face. ━Tell me what's wrong with you, Hae. You know you can simply lean on me whenever you feel frustrated or sad.

━You haven't heard anything? Everyone is talking about me and claiming things I didn't say about Bangchan. ━Yeji frowns. ━Listen to this title, it's nonsense. "DREAMS leader says Bangchan from Stray Kids is ugly and he doesn't understand why they do so much drama"… I never said that, God!

━ I don't know why you're surprised, Hae. Yellow presses, it's nothing new. ━Shrugs. ━Don't pay attention to those things, they'll only make you feel worse, okay? Distract yourself, but first you should talk to the CEO's, because you can't defend yourself alone, you need them.

━Agh, I know, you think I don't? It's all I've been thinking about these days. But I'm too surprised how a simple comment of mine made half the country angry. ━Yeji laughs. ━It's the bigotry effect, isn't it? I got a lesson that messing with male idols is a lousy idea. Can you imagine them listening to me when I address the Seventeen guys? Nope, they'd cancel me in a heartbeat.

━You're right about that. Hey… ━Seohae sets his gaze on her, watching her eat her fruits like there's no tomorrow. Yeji was a fruit lover, he loved them. Whenever shopping to fill the pantry the first thing on the list was definitely fruits and Miyeon's typical spicy ramen. ━Where are the two brats in the house? It feels empty without the two of them.

Seohae stands up to look for what to wear, as even being the most famous on the Internet these days her work as an artist was not over, far from it, she has not had a break. She had to go back to her daily life, being in bed having the upcoming comeback on her back was not an option.

━Both of them went for a photoshoot, don't you remember? They excitedly told you about it while you were playing Minecraft in your room. ━Yeji denies. ━I'm not really surprised. You should start paying more attention to them, they're our juniors, okay?

She just shrugs her shoulders.

━It's not my obligation, shall we go to the company? I have to look for some clues I left with Woozi and he told me he's there. ━Seohae stop looking for clothes to see her.

━Even without having to look for those clues, we must go. We have the comeback on our shoulders, and the CEO's expect a lot of things from us, we should try our hardest. Can I borrow your black outfit? I can't find anything I haven't already worn. I must urgently go shopping. ━Yeji just shrugged his shoulders.

━Do whatever you want. I just don't want to get out of this bed. ━She lay down lying down, Seohae ignored her going to her elder's room next to hers and searched through the pigsty she had that outfit she's been trying to steal from him for months. Returning to her room she sees Yeji with his cell phone over his face and typing like never before. ━ Apparently they must be doing an interview, because Haneul just texted me asking me to lend him a million won.

━So what did you say? Tell me you didn't send him a swear word. ━Yeji laughs. ━Jeon Yeji!

━But I didn't even tell you that I replied to him! Don't scold me!

━I know you!

━Not well enough, apparently. I told him no and a point, if I had said yes the fans wouldn't have believed it. They know me, you know that. ━Seohae sighed heavily. ━If you keep this up you're going to get old soon.

━How can you not? I understand the leaders now, this is hard. Having to take care of other unruly, chaotic and rude children is complicated. ━Yeji rolled his eyes.

━I'm older than you, Seohae.

━When it suits you. ━The rapper just stands up and spanks him to finish leaving the room. ━Change quickly!

━ Yes, yes, grandma!

. . .

When Yeji and Seohae arrived at the company after managing to pass the big wave of paparazzi who were only throwing questions about Bangchan's gossip. The truth is that Seohae didn't know what to do with her life, she was dying of embarrassment to think how Bangchan reacted when he woke up and found that an idol said that he doesn't look attractive to her. Thousands of assumptions went through his head, but none of them could be the true one because Seohae didn't really know Bangchan.

━Tsk, those motherfuckers. ━Seohae gave a shove to her companion who only whined about it. ━They piss me off that they say so much idiocy just to stir up more controversy. I will never understand them. It weighs down my existence to have to run into them.

━Don't be rude, they're just doing their job. ━Yeji gave her a dirty look. ━Fuck it, but they do it. They have no choice but to meddle in other people's private lives so they don't get fired. Leaving that topic aside because it stresses me out, are we going to finish composing the song for the comeback today? It's still a little while to finish it, the other time we were forced to sleep by Miyeon and Haneul.

━I can't believe they lied to us with another sleeping time. Because of them the whole idea I had for the lyrics slipped my mind and now I have to think of new ones. Ugh. ━They both get into the elevator after security saw their identities and allowed them to enter the building completely. ━By the way, you should call my aunt. She's worried about all this controversy with Bangchan and stuff. She told me she read a lot of hate messages to you.

━I told Mom not to read those things, she always worries about it and it makes Dad crazy. They both freak out and always end up crying thinking I might be having a bad time or I don't know ━Yeji nods. ━I'll call her later. I've told her like a thousand times that those things don't affect me, I don't use Twitter or any social media like your hate comments get to me and so do you guys. We don't read them and life goes on.

━Miyeon and Haneul created an Instagram about a week ago so maybe the comments will get to you. They created one for me but it looks like Vernon's, not one point I got because I told them I wasn't going to use it. It's a boring app, I'd rather build little houses in minecraft than upload pics of myself.

━Poor the ones that have you as bias. ━Yeji burst out laughing. Both of them still talking arrived at the practice room which was completely empty, Seohae went inside this one throwing her coat somewhere and getting ready to warm up and start rehearsing. Yeji did the opposite. She plopped down lying on the floor looking at the ceiling. ━What are we going to do for your mom's birthday, I haven't seen you thinking about it or asking for our help.

━It's because I haven't thought about it, nor do I want to. ━Yeji and her mother got along terribly, her mother took it upon herself all her life to shit on her dream of being a rapper and used to tell her a lot that she was never going to make it which caused their relationship to go down the toilet. ━And don't you dare tell me the usual, because I don't want to fix our relationship. There's no point. We're both fine that way.

━It was a long time ago, Yeji. At least talk to each other once, I don't know. You're mother and daughter. ━Yeji denied.

━Don't insist. I don't want to and I won't. Period. ━Seohae didn't say anything else again, both girls heard a bustle and without being able to get ready into the room came Haneul and Miyeon laughing with each other and wearing quite comfortable training clothes. ━They look happy.

━We are, obviously. Everything went great, plus the pictures turned out great. It was great. ━Speaks Miyeon plopping down on the floor and laying her head on Yeji's lap who didn't complain about it. ━What were they talking about? I feel a tension in the air, did they argue?

━Not at all, Miy, stop being so nosy. ━she sticks her tongue out at Seohae. ━Since it's the four of us, it's time for us to start rehearsing. We should be ready for the comeback. ━he adds standing up, the two newcomers whimper kicking but stand up following their leader's instructions.

━Are we not going to wait for Mr. Hong ━mentions Haneul standing with his arms crossed.

━He has the day off, but he taught me the choreography earlier and I can be the trainer today. ━The remaining three nod. ━Miyeon, I want you here in front for being the main dancer.

━Okay.

. . .

The early morning came faster than Seohae wanted it to all day, she along with Yeji were locked in the agency's studio finishing the song for the comeback which miraculously turned out spectacular. Seohae saw her cell phone screen where several messages from Miyeon and Haneul were the first thing she saw, along with her wallpaper of her together with Joshua ━which the same guy put up because she lost a bet━ and then the time. Four in the morning.

Yeji was completely asleep on the furniture behind her with several papers on top of her body and her arm out of the furniture. A few knocks on her door made her get up from the swivel chair and walk towards it, as she opened it she runs into Seungcheol and Joshua outside dressed to leave the building. They both saw Yeji asleep and decided to talk quietly.

━Hey, it's late, are you guys done composing yet? ━says Joshua worriedly, Seohae yawns and nods.

━We already finished about an hour ago, but I got to check some tracks and the time flew by. My butt and back hurt too much. ━Joshua rolls his eyes because of his zero filter when talking, while Seungcheol went inside the studio. ━You guys just finished?

━Yes, we were quite a while waiting for Woozi hyung to go home all together, are you coming with us, where are Yeonnie and Han? ━The Seventeen boys had cute nicknames for each member of the group, being older they treated them like their younger sisters and were very affectionate with them, which was what made them all become such good friends and they were like a family.

━They are at home. We took care of sending them so they're not here wasting time, if they were still here we wouldn't have been able to finish the song because they'd be "Are you done? We're sleepyoo" ━imitates the voice of their juniors and Joshua laughs.

They both look at Seungcheol trying to wake up the rapper from the girl group, receiving a slight push from her and her back to him still asleep.

━This woman is impossible. ━he laughs, Seohae imitates him. ━I'll carry her on my back. Help me Shua. ━The boy nods walking inside to help him. Seohae takes his coat and backpack where both of their dirty clothes were inside, he equally takes his cell phone and turns off the computers. He sees his best friend place his partner on his partner's back and Seungcheol starts to accommodate her.

The four leave the studio walking towards the exit of the building where they just met some members of the male group who upon seeing Seohae and Yeji were happy to greet them, but upon seeing the sleeping rapper only greeted the leader.

━Wa, Seohae, you look terrible. ━le tells Woozi.

━And you look midget. ━he sticks out his tongue, Woozi just bursts out laughing. ━Where's Dino? I haven't seen him for days, I'm tired of always meeting his boring faces.

━Dino left with the others, he was dead sleepy and kept bugging us so we got rid of him. ━ Jeonghan replies. ━And you should be thankful that they see us, many cry because they can't.

━Yeah, right. ━she replies teasingly, earning a light shove from DK who didn't help but laugh, as usual.

━Hey, how are you doing with everything that's been going around about you and Stray Kids' leader ━asks Minghao who was drinking a coffee in the most relaxed way. What Seohae loved about the guys was that they always cared about her and the other members, and didn't get into anything private that might make them uncomfortable, they always sought to make them feel comfortable.

━Agh, Min, don't ask me that. Embarrassment is eating me up inside. ━The appointee laughs lightly.

━You don't have to feel that way, we've all had something similar happen to us, it's part of growing up in the industry. ━Seungcheol shrugs. ━Besides, it could have been worse, so be thankful that your first gossip is something as silly as that. I know idols who have had terrible gossip, enough to make them want their exit from the group.

━Cheol is right. ━he gives him Woozi's right. Joshua walks over to the girl placing his arm on her shoulder and hugging her for comfort. ━Have you talked it over with the CEO's yet? I'm surprised they haven't sent for you yet or something.

━I talked it over this afternoon when I finished rehearsing. They weren't mad at me which reassured me, they're going to speak up for me and take care of the emails my fans send. ━The guys nod. When they get to the exit, they get into the male group's car so they can go home. Both groups live in the same building so they always went together and it was easier for them to find each other. ━Eh, Jeonghan, don't think I forgot that you owe me twenty thousand won.

━Agh, I thought you were going to forget. ━This one complains. ━I'll give it to you when we get there, I don't have my wallet with me now.

━Why do you owe him money? ━asks Minghao.

━We bet I didn't dare not to cheat in the next Going Seventeen, but I did. ━says the boy and the whole car fills with laughter.

━You're such a cheater, I don't know how they put up with it. ━says Seohae looking straight ahead again.

━I'm wonderful, Seohae, deal with it. ━says this one in her ear, causing her to push him away.

The girl ignores the guys to grab her cell phone so she can check her minors' messages, she saw that Haneul sent her a link of a news and seeing what it was the device fell from her hands to the floor of the car drawing everyone's attention.

━What's wrong ━asks Joshua.

She with a terrified face looks at him and then at the others who looked concerned.

━Bangchan talked about me in his Chan's room.

[zenyteehee]

WIP Tag Game

Tagged by the lovely @darlingandmreames thank you! 😄 i love doing these

Rules: List all your WIP titles, all meaning even the ones that are vague or nonsensical. Tag as many people as there are WIPs.

Hehe lol I don’t think I know that many people

Futuro - this is my angsty Encanto fic where I take all my problems out on very convenient characters. It also happens to be the work I’m most proud of and have had the most fun writing.

La Cosa Nostra - my gay Vincenzo fic that’s also about not romanticizing the mob and talking about family (found and blood.) And also extreme amounts of angst and trauma

How Do You Measure Seven Years - part 2 of my Kingdom series where I map out what happened in the seven year timeskip at the end of season 2. Basically an excuse to write more Changshin

Memory - the Fiery Priest, Sweet Music from Hae-il’s POV because I always wanted to write through his eyes and also had a lot I wanted to see play out but couldn’t put it in Sweet Music because Seong-kyu didn’t see it and Hae-il sure as fuck didn’t tell him. I’ve got a couple other ideas for this series too cuz if one thing will always be true, it’s that I’ll never stop having opinions about this show

Sinister Secrets of the House of Finwë - trashy niche fic for the Silmarillion. Mpreg. Enough said.

Snapshots of a Family - trashy niche fic for The Originals. I used to have a lot of opinions about it. Now I just need to rewatch the show and also rewrite the whole series cuz my writing changed so much. Mpreg.

“The star wars one” - dinluke. Luke in the battle of mos eisley cuz I wanted to talk about him having trauma from fighting the rancor the first time and also wanted him to confirm that grogu knows mando’a. Mpreg. Because I can. Kind of an AU for certain events in my other star wars series

It Wasn’t Love - Matteo/Luca Changretta from the Peaky Blinders cuz the line “even you, Matteo?” at the end of season 4 wouldn’t leave me the fuck alone. Also an excuse to talk about first generation immigrants, language barriers, and being a part of two worlds but a member of none

Oh, Where Do We Begin? - obikin for my star wars series. I majorly fuck up canon. Also mpreg. Who tf do you think you’re talking to here 😂 also an excuse to talk about trauma. See previous sentence

“OHHHHH STAr wars” - “Ahsoka visits luke, right? yeah no, it’s bout time we talked about anakin. In my series” and that’s everything I have in my notes for it.

“Another idea for designated survivor” - in which everyone falls in love with Park Mujin because everyone did in the show. Seriously, look at how they look at him.

“Along with the Gods pt. 2” - a continuation of pt. 1. An excuse to write more smut

“Aguni/Takeru” - Alice in Borderland. You were thinking it too.

The Wrong Choices for the Right Reasons - part of my star wars series. In which Han Solo gets a chance to defend and explain himself

There Was No Child - Gotham. An excuse to write about trauma and other terrible things. This is my coping mechanism

“Of Faults and Sins” - Stranger Things. Something bad happens to Billy Hargrove and Hopper’s the only one who cares. More terrible things

“It Used to Be True” and “For the Job” - parts of my Blue Bloods series that I’ll probably never finish cuz my opinion on police has drastically changed since I first watched the show and wrote this, and now acab. But again. More terrible things

Pay the Price for Foolishness - Silmarillion mpreg. Mairon’s got a kid. I haven’t touched this since 2015 and probably still won’t.

Colic - star wars. Grogu gets colicky

And a note called “Fanfiction/Fiction ideas” that has another 34 half baked shit from 2012 and on, most of which I’ll probably never get to cuz it’s in fandoms I’m long out of

Lol, and all my encanto readers have lost all respect for me now 😂 then again I did make a disney movie into a story about major trauma so…🤷🏻‍♀️

Oh boy….let’s see, I’ll tag @xraiyax @cityofperpetualgloom @cookiedoei aaaaaand anyone else who wants to play! I think that’s fair enough, and unlimited number of people matched my unlimited number of ideas

[whatdoesshedotothem]

x Sunday 20 October 1839

8 ½

12 35/..

incurred a cross last night thinking of π- fine but rather hazy morning F62 ½° and breakfast now at 9 ¾ - Desolée – Grotza has cut and spoilt all my frilled muslin handkerchiefs, by way of improving them – breakfast till 10 50/.. – potheration with Gross – he said I found fault with him everyday, yet on my inquiring what fault could tell of none but his not being in the anteroom, his creaking shoes, and being deaf much as I said I did not consider a fault it being the will of God – however the man would stand talking – wished he was back in England – only wanted comfort – could get back, and did not want a fault from me – only (out of much nonsense – had served the emperor of Russia 26 years ago – had only had 4 masters – always gave satisfaction – was not deaf – was a good man, a clean man, an honest man, spoke good English very good English – had a good character only wanted this - ................) on this, that is, only wanting comfort....... I told him I thought he had better consider about it when he was more calm – he said was quite calm – never more so – oh! very well, said I, and I would say no more and he went away and I finished breakfast – what the man means may not be quite clear, but I take it, he must have meant to give notice of leaving us? – money to get him home of course he has no right to ask from me, it being agreed that if he gave me notice to leave his place, he was to pay his own expense but I gave him notice [?] that I should pay his expense back to London – the man must have been a little beside himself this morning; for nothing called for such a potheration – if either of them has any reason to talk of being fault found with, it is his wife; for her foolishness has several times (last night and this morning but particularly found fault with), tho’ really I was not aware the fault finding being very serious – Leopold being engaged at his church, Gross went with the carriage this morning to church – there at 11 – waited 25 minutes before the clergyman, Mr. Cammidge, brother of Dr. C- of York organist at the cathedral, came – did all the duty – led the singers in the 1st verse of each of the 2 psalms (syllabizing [syllabising] time-wise very disagreeably tho’ like a singing master) and preached ½ hour from psalm XL. vv. 1, 2, 3, 4. talked of our ‘negociations’ and ‘conversations’ with God, and of god’s turning our minds as as ‘a pother determines his vessels’ – Yorkshire pronunciation  - wide difference between the clergyman of the ‘British chapel Moscow’ and the ‘British Factory St. Petersburg’ books here as well as St. P- lettered on the back as above and lying in sufficient no. on the desk of each pew – the chapel very neat and spacious and commodious – a very respectable looking congregation gentleman and ladies = about 42 or 43 including us all – I think our own carriage and 4 and 2 drivers (Gross and Leopold behind) made the 5th and there were about 5 carriages with a pair of horses! all waiting the spacious courtyard of the chapel home at 1 25/.. for a few minutes – and at the prison on the montagne des Moineaux (Sparrow hill) in 35 minutes at 2 10/.. – used in to Dr. Haes physician to the prisons – very civil – native of Cologne – not naturalized here – still a Prussian subject – we heard the muster roll of the prisons called over of those who were to set off at 4 this afternoon on their 5 ½ months journey to Siberia – walk never more than 22 versts a day, and rest every 2 days – go no farther today than to the other side of Moscow – the requests of the people attended – one man asked not to go today but to wait another week to go at the same time as a young woman  a relation of his – granted – one allowed to stay till an invalid was well enough to go – another to take leave of his friends, or settle affairs - .:. all were satisfied and there was no weeping – no apparent sign of sorrow! one man for buying 2 stolen horses – one for striking a corpse – one for not assisting a drowning man whom he might have saved – several for petty thefts and false contracts, and several for vagabondage, being without passport – the being condemned

SH:7/ML/E/23/0109

to exile is a civil death – breaks the tie of marriage – but wives and children allowed to go with prisoners, if they (the wives and children) wish it – one man today asked to have his wife – he is allowed to wait here till the wifes’ answer whether she will go or not is received – government finds food and cloche for prisoners and their families who accompany them – none sent to travail forcé but those condemned to the galleys for great crimes, murder and was the other crime brigandage? and lesser délits were sent to colonize the country and the parts in the south better climate than Moscow – all sent there as colonists whether serfs here or not, are free – I observed then that the owners of serfs lost their right – yes! but the right was unjust – the emperor wishes to have all his subjects free like the rest of Europe – but it cannot be done now – the emperor is very good – the government very considerate and humane towards the prisoners – if they are till, they are sent to the hospital prison here till cured, or, if incurable, remain to die comfortably – I remarked upon the prisoners of all grades of crime being together – the emperor had also remarked it and given orders for the lesser crimes to be separated from the greater – but it was found practicability impossible – e.g. the man who had struck the corpse (perhaps when drunk) might not be a bad man, but he came there among the assasins – while a man for vagabondism (a light crime) might have been guilty of nobody knew what and might be a bad man – etc. etc. etc. a poor deluded woman might in a fit of despair have been guilty of infanticide without being naturally a bad character – Dr. H- said books were given to the prisoners and shewed us a Russian new testament printed at St. P- at the expense of our English bible society who thus gave annuity to be distributed among the prisoners to the amount of Rubels 10,000 – ten thousand rubels – Dr. H- gave me  a French new testament in memory of our visit this day to the prison a memorandum of which he wrote at my request on one of the fly leaves of the book – he afterwards drew from his breast (and which he always carried there) a note from a Miss Harrison an English lady who had given a donation of five pounds to be distributed among the prisoners, and promised a subscription of as much per annum for the same purpose but the place was hot and darkish and I read the note (aloud to Dr. H-‘s request) stammeringly – there was a long rigmarole methodistical which the doctor much admired saying the lady had written it off hand, and wrote comme un Evêque – I quietly he must not expect to find all English people like Miss Harrison, but that we would gladly give a 5/. note for the prisoners (unluckily I had for the 1st time left all my notes at home but A- had this one) – on afterwards finding that the nos. of prisoners was just 6 including the 9 women and that 6/50 would be 10 kop. each we made Leopold give the addition in silver = 50 silver kop. .:. 5/. + 50 silver = 6/75 for the prisoners drawn up in line 2 or 3 deep thanked us – this was in the court – they mustered outside – the woman wrist-chained 3 or 4 together and ditto I think the men – they sent off

at the beat of drum, under escort of 21 soldiers at 3 40/.. – not a tear to be seen – not a sigh to be heard! we then returned to see the prisoners that arrived yesterday – men women and children – the roll of names and crimes was called over and Dr. H- had the power to order the irons to be knocked off (for the week of rest here) from those convicted of the light crimes – petit vol, vagabondage, desertion from the army 1st – there were I think 3 for murder among the 65 and about the same no. among these new comers – there was one nice looking little tidy! woman with 2 nice little girls who begged to go with her (I think her délit was lodging 2 voleurs or deserters) and I saw there 3 or 4 wives – I should think above 30 had their chains knocked off for the week – they were the prisoners from 22 governments that arrived yesterday – all (from all the governments) assemble here – and many are sent here in the first instance and go from here to the different governments to be tried – not all are banished to Siberia – some to other cities in the Empire – I asked if to Sarratoff [Saratov] – yes! all the rooms seemed to us very hot – we then went to the hospital – a large commodious wood building (all the whole concern, court-walls, and all, of wood) built for sheds for the workmen who were to build the new church St. Saviours’ – the present church that is building not near so large as the one Alexander meant to have built here in commemoration of the saving of Russia from her enemy in 1812 – at the hospital several slightly ill – one room of women some consumptive – I observed Dr. H- could do nothing for them – no! but government very good – allowed the incumbents to remain there to die in comfort – better off there than ever in their lives before – true – very well off there - saw the physic room and [laboratory] – all very well appointed – tasted the soup and bread black and white – all good – among the men, one noble! not [?] – to go to St. P- to receive sentence for marrying 3 times would probably be condemned to the ranks as a common soldier for life – the nobles, all, obliged to walk with the rest of the prisoners but sometimes sent to par poste or on application to the emperor allowed to go in their own carriages – none sent since the Poles – no nobles sent for political offences since midsummer I think he said – and many of the Poles and others had been allowed to return, and many more had hopes – the Emperor very good – By the way Dr. H- on giving me the N.T. asked me to promise to read it everyday – I declined making any promise but said simply je ne voudrais rien promettre mais je ferai mon mieux – the Doctor took the hint and said no more but wrote as vide – I had not then heard of Miss Harrison – and .:. did not dream that he might hope to find me de la sorte – god be merciful to me a sinner! but I cannot talk and write like Miss Harrison – had just written so far now at 10 50/.. p.m. – Fine day F62 ½° now at 12 20/.. tonight – A- and I sat talking till tea at 8 in ¼ hour and afterwards walked about the room – talked things over – the servants and staying the winter here chez Howard

[chaseatinydream]

pirate king (32) || atz

You’re back on the ship.

“So,” Hongjoong eyes Jongho with an unamused look, “You got so drunk yesterday night you tried to ruin the eyes of everyone on board, went diving into the ocean butt naked and made Seonghwa save you, then drank a bottle of my finest gin and caused an explosion in town.”

Jongho swallows quietly. Yunho had taken one look at the still dead drunk maknae and tossed him into the sea himself. The poor battlemaster had awoken splashing furiously in the sea and had ended up with a crab in his hair that refused to let go.

You would have pitied him, but after all the nonsense he’d put you through, the vindictive part of you whispers that he kind of deserved it.

Mingi groans as he mentally calculates the cost of damages he’ll have to pay on behalf of the crew. “Oh my god… maybe we should just sell Jongho off to pay for it.”

The younger battlemaster looks up in horror.

“Of course we should!” San calls from the door of the sickbay, shaking his head in disappointment, as if he himself didn’t almost do the exact same thing yesterday night. Seonghwa nods in agreement from the galley stairs.

“We’ll cut down a lot on our food expenses. Half the barrel of apples went missing again.”

Jongho splutters in protest.

“But who would want to buy Jongho?” Wooyoung calls from the rigging on the main mast, swinging back and forth in the wind. Hongjoong scratches his chin thoughtfully as he ponders this, much to Jongho’s shock. They’re actually considering this?

“I was drunk!” Jongho tries to explain himself, but Yunho snorts derisively, shaking his head in mock disappointment with his arms crossed.

“Yes, everyone could see that.”

“You were trying to make out with the main mast, you know.” You remind Yunho quietly, and he pretends not to have heard you.

“But… because we love you so much, we’ll keep you.” Hongjoong finally sighs dramatically, and it’s only then that Jongho realises everyone has been playing him the whole time, all hiding grins behind their hands. The maknae scowls.

He’s been played.

“Hey, captain!” Jongho calls, and Hongjoong stops laughing to look at him curiously.

“Yes?”

“Remember that time you got drunk and-” He’s cut off when your captain leaps at him, pinning him to the ground, one hand over his mouth to prevent him from talking anymore.

“Shut up!”

You shake your head, turning to San. At this point, you’re not even surprised at what is happening. “I’ll be in the sickbay if you need me.”

Your master raises an eyebrow as he watches Yunho tackle both Jongho and Hongjoong in a flying hug, sending the two crashing to the ground and rolling across the deck. “Do you have something to do?”

“I’m going to kill you if you every speak a word about it again!” Hongjoong screeches and Jongho bites the hand over his mouth. “Yunho, get off me! Jongho! How dare you bite your captain-”

“I was thinking about reading the book I got in town.” You hold up the book the shopkeeper had given you earlier. San glances at the cover even as Wooyoung swings down from the rigging onto the human pile with a crash.

“Ow! Poo Young, what the hell?”

“Shut up, Yun Hoe!”

“That’s a kid’s nursery story. I think I read that when I was five.” The healer tells you in a completely deadpan tone and you hold the book protectively to you, eyeing San with puffed cheeks.

“Are you calling me childish?”

“I didn’t say anything.” Your master shrugs, but you recognise the distinctly teasing glint in your eye. Over his shoulder, you see Seonghwa shake his head at the lack of maturity and decorum of the rest of his crew… and jumps right into the thrashing pile.

“Seonghwa-hyung!” You yelp in shock, but you’ve already lost him in the mass of flailing limbs and swinging hands.

“Go read your book.” San steers you by the shoulders and pushes you in the direction of the sickbay. “Leave the immaturity to me.”

You’re throw him a look. “You’re just as immature as they are, master.”

San gasps dramatically at your words, one hand comes up to his chest in a betrayed expression, all with his usual deadpan expression. “How could you? That tongue of yours, Chin Hae.”

Then he turns and jumps into the pile as well.

You roll your eyes and make your way to the sickbay, pushing open the door and stepping inside. When the door closes behind you, the shouts and shrieks from the main deck thankfully die down, leaving you in peace and silence.

You make your way over to the door in the back, stepping into the bedroom you share with San. The smell of rosemary and honey fills the air and you wonder what new concoction San is experimenting with this time.

“Probably just wanted an excuse to eat the honey.” You mutter to yourself, seating yourself on your bed. The bed opposite yours is unmade, as usual. San didn’t want to get up this morning, so you had to bring a bucket to his bedside for him to puke into.

You study the hand drawn rendition of the mermaid on the cover, startlingly lifelike with eyes that one moment seem as blue as a calm sea, but in the next seem to be a choppy grey that reminds you of stormy waves. You rub your eyes a little, wondering whether you’ve been getting enough sleep. First the old man, then this?

“I must be going crazy.” You mutter to yourself, turning the page. There’s a small dedication written on it in emerald green ink.

For the Queen of the Seas.

You snort at that. The Queen of the Seas? Who is that? The only person you know with any such title is your captain, who you know is regarded as the Pirate King by the Royal Navy and pirates all over the world. Is there a Pirate Queen now? And why would anyone write a child’s storybook for a pirate?

You shake your head and begin reading.

Once upon a time, when the world was first breathed into life by the word of the Creator, it was formless and empty, darkness was over the surface of the deep, and the presence of the Creator hovered over the waters.

You frown, checking the title. It says the Little Mermaid, right? This… doesn’t really seem like a children’s book.

“Let the waters of the world be gathered together, so that the land and seas may be separated.” The Creator declared, and from there the waters gathered into one, and dry land was formed. Life was breathed into the world, and the essence of the sea spread throughout the waters, bringing many beings into life.

You are pretty sure this isn’t the same children’s storybook Yeosang and San were talking about, but you continue reading it anyway.

From the sea foam a mermaid was born, without a name, as all those of the sea came of the same essence. She rose from the sea, and for aeons it was at her beck and call. Over time, many creatures such as the hafgufa were created of the same essence and the oceans were filled with life that flourished for millenia.

This story is pretty interesting for a mere fairy tale.

One day, the mermaid discovered a mortal human, unconscious, on the beach of a deserted island. The humans had been created when the Creator had combined the water of the sea and dirt of the land to form clay, the Creator sculpted the human and breathed the breath of life into the human’s lungs, the human became a living being, an immortal soul dwelling within its mortal body.

An immortal soul dwelling within its mortal body. That reminds you of something similar you’ve heard before…

A jewel resting in a jar of clay.

A shiver runs up your spine and you quickly flip to the next page to get the thoughts out of your mind.

Each mortal was unique, beautifully and wonderfully made by the Creator. They flourished on the earth from which they had come, they were fruitful and increased in number, filling the earth and subduing it. Confined to the sea, this was the first human the mermaid had come across.

Okay. This story is starting to scare you a little. This is nothing like what you had expected.

The mermaid breathed the essence of the ocean into the human’s lungs and the human was brought back from the brink of death. Wanting to know the name of his saviour, the human asked for it. The mermaid had no name, so she told the human what she was, but the human could not repeat it to her. For the first time in her existence, the mermaid strongly desired a name.

You can relate to this story a little. You, too, had no name when you had first awoken. You can emphasize with the mermaid, knowing that even though a name is not something you physically need, you still long for it with all your heart. It reaches past your physical desires to something deeper within, right to your very soul.

The mermaid gave him both a blessing and a gift of immense value. When she left him, she promised that one day in the future, she would tell him her name.

Your mouth falls open. Did the mermaid get a name, just like you did?

The mermaid called upon the Creator, whose breath had formed her essence. The Creator told her that she could not be bestowed a name worthy of her because she was merely a conscience of the oceans and did not have an everlasting soul as the mortals did. One day when she perished, she would merely return to the sea foam from which she had come.

“That’s so sad.” You mutter to yourself, turning the page. “Isn’t this supposed to be some kids’ story? It’s way too depressing.”

The mermaid decided to obtain a soul. Travelling into the most dangerous parts of the ocean to find the sea witch, she learned that to obtain a soul, she must fall in love with a human and become one with him, so that part of his soul would flow into her and she would become a human.

“That… seems pretty okay, actually.” You mumble to yourself. All you need for a soul is to marry someone?

The sea witch offered to give her a pair of legs to dance upon land like no human ever could in exchange for her memories. She agreed, but the sea witch warned her that if she did not fall in love with a man before her legs crumbled into soil, she would return to seafoam as she did not belong on land and from there on would cease to exist.

Horror sinks in your chest.

“What?”

You desperately read the last line on the page.

The little mermaid agreed.

You flip to the next page, but to your shock, the last few pages have been torn out, except for a single blank page. There is no more story. You know that it’s stupid that you’ve become attached to a nameless character so fast, but you need to know what happened to her!

Turning the last page, you see something written in green ink.

I will be with you every step of the way.

Your eyes fly wide and you grip the necklace around your neck, fingers shaking. The man in your dreams. He had somehow given you this book. What? How? Why? He was real. It wasn’t just a dream. Your heart is thundering at a speed that should scare you, but you can’t bring yourself to care right now.

You laugh a little unsteadily, thousands and millions of thoughts speeding through your mind.

Then you remember the knife in your chest and you pause.

Do you really want to find him?

You see the words written beneath.

Come to Eleuthera.

Yes. You need your memories back.

With that, you dash out of the sickbay, back onto the main deck, where the crew is still wrestling about. Your eyes catch your captain trying to escape from the bottom of the human pile, but you don’t have the sanity of mind to help him out. You shout his name.

“Captain!”

Hongjoong stills at the urgency in your voice, turning to look at you from beneath Yunho and San. Your master and crew mate look similarly confused, but you ignore all of them, speaking directly to your captain.

“I need to go to Eleuthera!”

[bedtimebrain]

EXO Baekhyun: Speedpost!

(while i've been having fun with all these drawings in my past few posts, i must admit i almost puked when i looked at this one as i was uploading today. for the sake of our eyes will nicely put a stop to this soon :,D)

Char: baek x u Genre: military baek, fluff!, needy (?) reader Description: you thought you could do just fine with baek in the military, but it seems like you actually need him a little more than you think Word Count: 1.3k Track for feels: Avril Lavigne, Wish you were here

You honestly thought you were the kind of strong and independent girlfriend. The kind that would do absolutely fine when your boyfriend enlists.

But truth be told, you barely scrape past this week, and it has only been a week since baek enlisted. Doubts, doubts. Could you even hold it together for another 2 more weeks? You remember just the day before baekhyun's enlistment, he deliberately teased you with fake sobbings,

'babe, will you cry if i'm not around? you might miss me so much it's too much for you to bear right? if you..'

you simply scoffed and cut him off

'ya, byun baekhyun, i'm afraid i would have to disappoint you. i am very much a busy and independent woman. i will do just fine with you enlisting. plus we will probably get to call once in a while, i can live with that'

you smugly folded your arms, sending an attack to his ego

In hindsight, the attack went out like a boomerang and came right back at you. You can already imagine baekhyun playfully gloating

'Strong independent woman, jagiya?'

Perhaps it might all be better if a wreck package hadn't self-invited itself to your life this week.

First of all, your boss decided it was a good idea to throw your proposal back in your face. Next, your very considerate across-the-globe client planned a conference call close to sleeping time in korea. As if it all couldn’t be worse, you overheard a juicy conversation your colleagues were having about you in the washroom.

All these just made you want to run right to baekhyun. To lie on his lap, throw punches at him and hear him flame your life perpetrators with the most nonsensical phrases.

During the day, all you looked forward to was your phonecalls with baek. But who knew even a phonecall date would be as hard to fulfil as climbing mount Everest.

Apart from the first day, every other day the past week was met full of hiccups. Either you were caught up with conference calls and work, or baek was cutting too close to lights out for a long call.

You call it baek crumbs, yes you were surviving on baek crumbs.

There was still sometime left before your phonecall date tonight. You yanked open your refrigerator in search of your alternative destress mechanism -- chocolates. You sighed at your depleting chocolate stash, physically indicating how badly you needed baek.

Back on the sofa, you swallowed down Freddo and you plugged in your earphones like an emo teen, randomly choosing a song radio to play.

As if Siri heard your inner thoughts, the radio chose to play Avril Lavinge's Wish You Were Here. Before you know it, you were a crying mess.

It's not even like you guys were breaking up, but the lyrics were literally stabbing into your heart But right now i wish you were here.... Damn, what i'd do to have you here ...

You were pathetically brawling away when baekhyun's call came in. Suppressing your heavy sobbing, you picked up the phone after a couple of rings at this untimely moment.

'Jagiya, i've 15minutes today! How have you been? You wouldn't believe what happen today! Jagi? Are you there?' His animated voice died down and he held a pause.

'Are you crying? y/n why are you crying? what happened?' you hear a hint of panic in his voice

Baekhyun was fast at catching on things, your quietness, shakey breathes and suppressed hitches were more than enough to indicate a red flag to him.

You had intended for tonight's call to be a fun and not your emotional health hotline help. Taking a deep breath, you tried to put up a front, and with your most stable voice, replied him

'ya, what crying? so what happened with you today?'

'ya, stop bullshitting me. you're crying, what's up with you?' turning all serious, he wasn't going to let you dodge this

you bit down hard on your lip, you couldn't get a syllable out of your throat, afraid the moment you did so you would break down completely.

'damn it, i would totally break the law just to bring a camera phone in so you cannot hide your face from me. tell me please?' he sounded urgent and frustrated, but gentle in asking you to tell him

'baekhyun ah, i can't do this anymore. i thought i could, but why is it so difficult' your voice cracked and you burst into hot tears

'i haa-d such a bad week and i just want..want.. to tell you about it every night. but our time together is always so short that by the time it got to my turn to tell you about my day.........the call ends. and.. and.. i don't know..... what to do about all these on my own..with--without you' you were wailing and possibly incomprehensible by now

'ya..y/n-ie, mi an hae. jeongmal mi an. i just realised i hadn't even heard about how your day went this entire week. i always got so carried away telling you about me, i wasn’t considerate enough.'

Almost running out of tears, you regain your composure quickly

‘Jagi, I’m not blaming you. Please don’t take it that way, it’s just.. I really wish you were around.’

The call suddenly went silent on the other sides, then you heard some low shouts in the background

‘Baekhyunie?’ You guess it was probably an early roll call again

A few moments later, baekhyun was back on the call.

‘Jagi, I’m sorry, I’ll probably have to go soon, the sergeant’s checking my barracks next.

Anyway, I actually had something I wanted to give you the night before I enlisted, but you insisted you were an independent and busy woman....’

His sentence was left broken with a sudden series of clattering like his phone had dropped. You heard louder shouts this time round, then a hurried whisper from Baekhyun

‘Jagi, check the right drawer under your table alright. I got to go now, mi an.’

‘Ah, okay.. saranghae’ and the call was dropped.

You know it was beyond Baekhyun’s control when he had to end the call. But it still didn’t stop you from feeling down at the abrupt goodbye.

Forcing a smile on your face for the sake of your own, you went to your table as baekhyun had told you.

Right drawer under the table?

Pulling open the drawer to find a floral patterned metallic box.

Was baek referring to this?

Popping open the metal box you gasp at the contents scattered within. With a hand over your mouth, you could feel your eyes welling up with tears again.

Chocolates. Lots of chocolates. Fanciful chocolates. Notes... byun baekhyun actually wrote notes for you?

He never once made you cards no matter how hard you ‘jaebal’ for him to. He would just say

‘Too difficult’

‘Too bothersome’

‘Suck at handicraft’

You pulled out the longest note in the entire box and couldn’t help but chuckle when you saw his scrawls

Annyeong Jagi! I bet you would choose this to read first cause it’s the longest. Did I guess it right?ㅋㅋ i wrote a letter to my beloved EXO-Ls, and I thought, how could I not leave you with one? Y/N, you see the chocolates in this box? I went to the candy store that day and picked them individually for you. Because I’m not around, I thought you might need them more. If you have a hard time when I’m away, take a chocolate and a note, enjoy them and think about me. Thank you for waiting, nae sarang, very soon I’ll be with you again. ^^

On the table, your phone vibrated and your screen lit up.

A msg from baekhyun:

Found my speedpost? Saranghae, wool ji ma(dont cry). Let’s call again tmr, goodnight!

You were smiling and crying like a fool by now. With a vision blurred by your tears, you typed a reply

Ya byun Baekhyun. Gumawo.... saranghae

Surely, you must have saved a nation your past life for you to meet byun baekhyun.

———

I was watching EXO arcade and this super random thought came to mind, do yall think their new album concept actually came from EXO arcade?

Like maybe they had been planning a season 2 all along and a new album. But they couldn’t think of a concept, so tada! Arcade, games! For their album concept~ Is there any talk like this circulating, hahah, hope I’m not late to the party then.