#i didnt get a turkey sandwich like last time i was at the hospital and im angy about it >:(

[slutdge]

i hope my last motivational post about turning my life around didnt imply that im gonna stop being a hater. i will be a hater forever, im just gonna be more nuanced and thoughtful about it now. also i developed yet another weird crush on an old man in a shitty band.

[queerautism]

The last time before i got covid i was begging social services and my GP for help with my ADHD. The full assesment was taking over a year and meanwhile it was destroying my life. I was studying photography, which i adore and miss so badly, but the parents were fucking me around with financial support so i was trying to work part time and apply for working EU migrant student loan that would include not only course fees but maintenance costs (for rent / food etc)

I was starving. Going on my bike over an hour travel to the food bank and waiting for my turn in sensory hell for hours to be given some basic foods. Trying to ignore all the uncomfortable christian talk. Watching free food apps like a hawk because otherwise i wouldn't have dinner. On my bike again for 40 minutes to be given two sandwiches. I went through SSRI withdrawal cold turkey more times than i can remember when i didnt have the £10 to pay for the prescription for weeks.

Still, for a bit, i was making it work. But it was too much and i knew my brain wasn't working and i couldn't keep it up without serious help. I begged my doctor to talk to the adhd clinic about timelines. When that didnt work, i found a private ADHD service that accepted NHS referrals. She saw me sobbing in front of her and refused to even consider it. I told her i didnt want to give up my studies, my passion, but I'd be forced to if she didn't help me.

She told me my 10 minutes were up and i had to leave.

I had to drop out of university due to medical reasons, for the second time in my life. I had a part time job and managed to get a little universal credit, but i wasnt a student anymore and had no idea what i was going to do when the lease on my current student house ended. Social services had for months done nothing but force me into useless meetings and paperwork. I don't doubt being so exhausted and burnt out and barely eating lowered my immune system enough that in March 2020 I was the only one in the house to get Covid.

It was so bad I really thought i was going to die. Social services completely abandoned me at this point, just ghosted. I barely remember the entire month i was sick because it was incredibly traumatic and terrifying. I had to quit my job, of course.

My health has been in a heavy decline ever since, but since there werent any covid tests available at the time, i couldnt confirm it in paper or my health records. Even though it was a textbook case. I am now being denied care by Long Covid clinics. A GP heard my symptoms and diagnosed me with fibromyalgia over the phone, without any physical examination, even though it is a diagnosis of exclusion.

Trying to walk unassisted for 5 minutes makes my legs fail and so in pain and nauseous I'll throw up. I was throwing up every day until i was hospitalised with 'gastritis' and started being prescribed Lansoprazole. I can keep a little more food down now, but my digestive system is still a mess, and i have been waiting for a gastroenterology referral for over a year. I'm starting to doubt i got a referral at all.

This whole situation with the costochondritis and hospital and this useless social worker is reminding me too much of this era and it's so triggering and upsetting. I know the UK medical system and the government both want me dead.

I'm trying to keep fighting but it is so hard, and i am so tired.

Anyway. Mostly just wanted to get all that off my chest, and know that perhaps people who understand might read it.

Might as well leave a reminder that if you want to help me survive this hell, my paypal is here and anything you can spare is greatly appreciated. If you've enjoyed my blog over the years, chucking a couple quid in there is a great way to show appreciation.

[omeliastoriesbyari]

Could it be

This fic takes place after Owen and Amelia found out Teddy is back and she is pregnant. So at this point and time Betty is still living with Owen and Amelia. Amelia is still at the house with Owen because there wasnt enough space at Mer’s for her and Betty. But Amelia was planning to move out with her and betty, she had found a nice three bedroom apartment not to far from the hospital.

Amelia was sitting on the bed she had once called her and Owen’s. She had remeber the time she and Owen lied there for 5 hours cuddling and watching movies. But she knew she had to get over it he wasn’t hers anymore. She started packing some thing she had in the room. 

Betty was in the kitchen making herself something to eat. Betty knew that she and Amelia would be moving but she didnt know why. She didn’t atempt to ask her saw the sadness in Amelia’s and Owen’s faces.

“Betty are you eating a turkey sandwich with pickles,” Amelia asked,

“Yea how did you know?” Betty said in such confusion.

“I can smell it from here it smells horrible,” Amelia said before almost gagging.

Betty lefts up the sandwich to smell it but she didn’t smell anything. She just ignored Amelia but that wasn’t she had been doing stuff like that for the past last week. First Amelia breast were so tender she kept rubbing them but Betty thought nothing of it. Then the time after that she smelled Leo’s dinner from outside the house. And the time before this she had head aches for like two days. Something was going on and Betty didn’t know what it was. But then Betty thought about and she knew what it was.

“Amelia are you taking drugs?” Betty busted into the room and asked her.

“What No?! Why would you be asking that.” Amelia said so confused at what Betty was going at.

“Because you have been act weird this past week. Did you and Owen get into a bog fight or somehting.” Betty say with worry in her voice.

“No Betty everything is fine I promise I didn’t take any drugs and Owen and I are having some problem but I’m fine.” Amelia reassures Betty.

“oh ok I’m going to walk to the store really quick. Oh and Owen left Leo here he had an emergency surgery, But Leo is sleeping.” Betty says as she is exiting the room.

About 15 minutes later Betty enters the house with a bag. Amelia is in the room with Leo playing on the floor. Amelia and Leo are laughing together because Amelia is making silly faces.

“Amelia, I looked up your symptoms so I bought you these.” Betty says as she sits the bag next to Amelia.

“Betty, I don’t have any symptoms. Would you stop being so silly?” Amelia says with a giggle.

Ammelia opens the bag in the bag there 4 box of pregnancy test. Amelia feel like there is no point of this she secretly knew she probably couldn’t have kids. She was going take the test to prove that Betty is wrong about this thing. Amelia puts Leo in his crib while he watches Tv. And she heads to the bathroom to take these tests.

“Ok Amelia you can do this,” Amelia tell herself. 

After 10 minutes Amelia sits on the bed with one of the tests she took. Amelia look at the 3 dot on the screen before the results pop up. In her heart she was scared to see what the test is going to say. Then she thinks about time that Owen have got her pregnant and she remember the time in the on-call room before they got Betty and Leo. Before she can get deep into her thoughts the results pop up...

9+ week pops up on the test screen. Amelia just stares at it for a moment, how couldn’t she know she was 9 weeks pregnant with Owen’s baby. She usually kept up with her period. Then it hits she pregnant when she didn’t even think she could get pregnant. Out of nowhere she burst into tears she was pregnant this was a miracle. She put her hand on tummy and she just so thankful for this miracle baby she thought she couldnt never have.

I hope you guys like this fic I have been thinking about this for weeks. I will be posting a part two some. I thank all of you for your support I really enjoy writing Fics for people that are interested in the same things I’m in. Kisses I cant wait for the new season i hope they dont Omelia up I dont want Teddy to destory them. If you watched season 14 finale you would have heard Owen tell Betty that him and Amelia didn’t finalize their divorice.

[trulymj]

65 Questions You Aren't Used To

I pretended it was myspace and just filled this out in it’s entirety. cool.  1. Do you ever doubt the existence of others than you? -Nah man, I could but it wouldn’t do anything but increase my anxiety levels so I’ll just avoid thinking about it like I do with most things. 

2. On a scale of 1-5, how afraid of the dark are you? -Like a 2? Depends a lot if Im alone in the house or not.

3. The person you would never want to meet? -The person who would answer this question with my name probably. 

4. What is your favorite word? - Im cheating its a phrase “l���appel du vide,” that feeling you get when you’re driving and you just think “I could jerk my wheel and ram into that barrier..” but don’t. 

5. If you were a type of tree, what would you be? I’d like to think I would be a great big old willow tree where people have first kisses under in August because Summer is ending.

6. When you looked in the mirror this morning what was the first thing you thought? -Damn, I forgot to take off my make-up

7. What shirt are you wearing? -A black cami tank top

8. What do you label yourself as? -I don’t really? A loving person I guess?

9. Bright room or dark room? -Dark room, alwayssss. 

10. What were you doing at midnight last night? - in bed..watching The Office and trying to sleep. 

11. Favorite age you’ve been so far? 26 was really great...but this year has been amazing in its own right. 

12. Who told you they loved you last? -My man via ship email because he’s floating in the middle of the ocean somewhere. 

13. Your worst enemy? -Procrastination and avoidance.

14. What is your current desktop picture? -Some cool night sky shit with a tent in the foreground

15. Do you like someone? -Probably the guy I married...just a little bit though.

16. The last song you listened to? -Baby it’s cold outside. I was wrapping presents and enjoying myself man, don’t judge. 

17. You can press a button that will make any one person explode. Who would you blow up? -Probably a child rapist

18. Who would you really like to just punch in the face? -Myself sometimes, but no one really. Not my style. 

19. If anyone could be your slave for a day, who would it be and what would they have to do? -This is too kinky for tumblr now.

20. What is your best physical attribute? (showing said attribute is optional) - my right nostril, it resembles a bean which is cool.

21. If you were the opposite sex for one day, what would you look like and what would you do? -Probably just do a lot of that helicopter dick thing that guys do...or and finally figure out what it’s like to stick your dick in stuff because I’m so curious. I’d spend most of the day trying to get a BJ I think. I guess just as hot as possible to increase my chances of getting said BJ?

22. Do you have a secret talent? If yes, what is it? -Nah I dont think so...maybe like talking to people?

23. What is one unique thing you’re afraid of? -Escalators. 

24. You can only have one kind of sandwich. Every sandwich ingredient known to humankind is at your disposal. -Oven Roasted turkey, thick ass bacon, tomato, tons of avocado, a layer of clover sprouts, some jersey style cherry pepper relish, oil and vin. Damn that sounds good. 

25. You just found $100! How are you going to spend it? -Rainy day fund mang. Responsibilities and shit. 

26. You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere in the world, but you have to leave immediately. Where are you going to go? - Iceland, a bitch is trying to see the northern lights. 

27. An angel appears out of Heaven and offers you a lifetime supply of the alcoholic beverage of your choice. “Be brand-specific” it says. Man! What are you gonna say about that? Even if you don’t drink booze there’s something you can figure out… so what’s it gonna be? - Laphroaig 31 year please and thanks. 

28. You discover a beautiful island upon which you may build your own society. You make the rules. What is the first rule you put into place? - Don’t be a dick.

29. What is your favorite expletive? - Fucker

30. Your house is on fire, holy shit! You have just enough time to run in there and grab ONE inanimate object. Don’t worry, your loved ones and pets have already made it out safely. So what’s the one thing you’re going to save from that blazing inferno? - My Moms ring

31. You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be? Probably getting molested on that plane when I was 9. I didn’t grow from it so it’d just be cool not to ever think about randomly. 

32. You got kicked out of the country for being a time-traveling heathen who sleeps with celebrities and has super-powers. But check out this cool shit… you can move to anywhere else in the world! - Mexico so I’m close to home I guess.

33. The Celestial Gates Of Beyond have opened, much to your surprise because you didn’t think such a thing existed. Death appears. As it turns out, Death is actually a pretty cool entity, and happens to be in a fantastic mood. Death offers to return the friend/family-member/person/etc. of your choice to the living world. Who will you bring back? - This is weird to think about...next...

34. What was your last dream about? Jesse and I were doing something...Don’t remember what though? we were at a party I think. 

35. Are you a good….[insert anything you’d like here]? Listener? Sometimes. Usually. 

36. Have you ever been admitted to the hospital? Nope. 

37. Have you ever built a snowman? Yes but it was only like a foot tall

38. What is the color of your socks? Flesh socks...aka no socks.

39. What type of music do you like? The good kind.

40. Do you prefer sunrises or sunsets? Sunrises feel more serene.

41. What is your favorite milkshake flavor? Oreo duhhhhh

42. What football team do you support? (I will answer in terms of American football as well as soccer) IDFWU

43. Do you have any scars? emotional or physical? short answer, yes. 

44. What do you want to be when you graduate? Happy

45. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be? - My ability to start shit.

46. Are you reliable? Depends on what for? Money, no. advice yes, being on time yes, helping you keep up a lie, no. 

47. If you could ask your future self one question, what would it be? Did it all work out?

48. Do you hold grudges? Not really, just remember and take mental notes. 

49. If you could breed two animals together to defy the laws of nature, what new animal would you create? A dogs personality in the size of a rat. 

50. What is the most unusual conversation you’ve ever had? - The conversation I had with Jesse on the steps of a catholic church at 3am in San Francisco when we were both drunk. 

51. Are you a good liar? Nahhh. 

52. How long could you go without talking? not long at all. 

53. What has been you worst haircut/style? The triangle haircut I had freshman year of highschool. Bitches didnt know about curls apparently. 

54. Have you ever baked your own cake? Like for my own birthday? No. But for other peoples, all the time.

55. Can you do any accents other than your own? Southern and British. 

56. What do you like on your toast? Copious amounts of kerrygold butter. 

57. What is the last thing you drew a picture of? A christmas tree two days ago. 

58. What would be your dream car? -new: Subaru Crosstrek, blacked the fuck out.  -Classic: 67 Corvette Stingray, black outside, burgundy inside. 

59. Do you sing in the shower? Or do anything unusual in the shower? Explain. Rarely sing...usually watch scientific youtube shows...

60. Do you believe in aliens? I don’t think they’ve visited us but there’s other life out there. 

61. Do you often read your horoscope? -When its easy, yes, but I dont go out of my way. 

62. What is your favorite letter of the alphabet? Z I guess. 

63. Which is cooler: dinosaurs or dragons? Dinos, them bitches were reallll. 

64. What do you think about babies? They’re expensive, poopy, cry-y sacks of flesh that don’t sleep and I want one. 

65. Freebie! Ask anything interesting you can think of. I don’t know what to ask myself so bye. 

[floridkore]

1-65

1. Do you ever doubt the existence of others than you?

yes 

2. On a scale of 1-5, how afraid of the dark are you?

answered :)

3. The person you would never want to meet?

hm. i dont really know. 

4. What is your favorite word?

blep

5. If you were a type of tree, what would you be?

can i be an orange tree because i like oranges 

6. When you looked in the mirror this morning what was the first thing you thought?

god you look pale and sick as shiitttttt (i woke up feeling extremely sick)

7. What shirt are you wearing?

this flowery pink white and black shirt 

8. What do you label yourself as?

and idiot 

9. Bright room or dark room?

bright room 

10. What were you doing at midnight last night?

actually sleeping for once.

11. Favorite age you’ve been so far?

19

12. Who told you they loved you last?

blakeeee

13. Your worst enemy?

myself (ay saz got deep there didnt ya mate)

14. What is your current desktop picture?

its a default windows one cuz im lazy 

15. Do you like someone?

yes

16. The last song you listened to?

uhhh paradise by the dashboard light - meatloaf 

17. You can press a button that will make any one person explode. Who would you blow up? 

omg donald trump 

18. Who would you really like to just punch in the face?

i can’t tell people know this person 

19. If anyone could be your slave for a day, who would it be and what would they have to do?

i would be the slave, ill have to do all the chores that ive been procrastinating 

20. What is your best physical attribute? (showing said attribute is optional)

hm i dont know

21. If you were the opposite sex for one day, what would you look like and what would you do?

id look like my brother. when we were younger we were always stopped andn asked if we were twins (which isnt true) and i wouldnt do anything. probably nothing tbh i mean id freak out but what can i do 

22. Do you have a secret talent? If yes, what is it?

i do not have a secret talent 

23. What is one unique thing you’re afraid of?

i have no idea 

24. You can only have one kind of sandwich. Every sandwich ingredient known to humankind is at your disposal.

its gotta have turkey ham turkey breast and turkey bacon and a whole lotta salad like lettuce olives peppers - you know what just get me a subway melt from subway, love. cheers 

25. You just found $100! How are you going to spend it? 

most likely food tbh

26. You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere in the world, but you have to leave immediately. Where are you going to go? 

ITALYYY

27. An angel appears out of Heaven and offers you a lifetime supply of the alcoholic beverage of your choice. “Be brand-specific” it says. Man! What are you gonna say about that? Even if you don’t drink booze there’s something you can figure out… so what’s it gonna be?

nothing. i dont drink. that aint an angel that’s shaytaan

28. You discover a beautiful island upon which you may build your own society. You make the rules. What is the first rule you put into place?

oh. the first rule i would place in is that no one is allowed to harm the environment like cut down trees and shit without acknowledging people because what if they completely destroy the island??? whats gonna happen to our resources. nah you’re not allowed to do shit without approval my dude

29. What is your favorite expletive?

unsure 

30. Your house is on fire, holy shit! You have just enough time to run in there and grab ONE inanimate object. Don’t worry, your loved ones and pets have already made it out safely. So what’s the one thing you’re going to save from that blazing inferno?

phone

31. You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?

MY WHOLE LIFE IS A HORRIBLE EXPERIENCE, LOVE

32. You got kicked out of the country for being a time-traveling heathen who sleeps with celebrities and has super-powers. But check out this cool shit… you can move to anywhere else in the world!

to italy i go 

33. The Celestial Gates Of Beyond have opened, much to your surprise because you didn’t think such a thing existed. Death appears. As it turns out, Death is actually a pretty cool entity, and happens to be in a fantastic mood. Death offers to return the friend/family-member/person/etc. of your choice to the living world. Who will you bring back?

man. i dunno anyone personally whos dead. unsure 

34. What was your last dream about?

being in an apartment with blake in italy

35. Are you a good….[insert anything you’d like here]? 

no. good at what you may ask. i am good at nothing 

36. Have you ever been admitted to the hospital? 

nope

37. Have you ever built a snowman? 

yes 

38. What is the color of your socks? 

im not wearing any right now 

39. What type of music do you like?

it varies 

40. Do you prefer sunrises or sunsets?

both pls dont make me choose

41. What is your favorite milkshake flavor?

chocolate

42. What football team do you support? (I will answer in terms of American football as well as soccer)

none 

43. Do you have any scars?

yes 

44. What do you want to be when you graduate?

who fucking knows at this point 

45. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?

everything 

46. Are you reliable?

i try to be 

47. If you could ask your future self one question, what would it be?

do you get a happy ending 

48. Do you hold grudges? 

dependss on the person. my friend? ill forget what i was even mad about in like 5 minutes. someone i dislike? ill hold a grudge for a lifetime 

49. If you could breed two animals together to defy the laws of nature, what new animal would you create? 

nope. 

50. What is the most unusual conversation you’ve ever had?

ummm i dont know but it was probably because of me 

51. Are you a good liar?

ish ? dependss 

52. How long could you go without talking?

not very long 

53. What has been you worst haircut/style? 

short bob

54. Have you ever baked your own cake? 

yes 

55. Can you do any accents other than your own?

i fail at accents but im writing this in a welsh accent you know my love (dont ask me. ive been doing it the whoooollleeee thing) 

56. What do you like on your toast? 

butter and marmite 

57. What is the last thing you drew a picture of?

samirah al abbas

58. What would be you dream car? 

damn anything big 

59. Do you sing in the shower? Or do anything unusual in the shower? Explain. 

i sing 

60. Do you believe in aliens? 

i guess

61. Do you often read your horoscope? 

not often only when i see it 

62. What is your favorite letter of the alphabet?

hmm u because you is mighty fine 

63. Which is cooler: dinosaurs or dragons?

dragons 

64. What do you think about babies? 

i love babies 

[donghyxns]

CEO! Minhyun

um caution some cussing and very out of character minhyun :)

also this isnt my best???? im still trying to get in the swing of writing sorry :(

LONG AF

it’s not like you wanted the job

but jesus college was piling up on you and you had no way to pay for it

you were going in for an interview at one of the biggest medical companies ever

it didnt do anything medical it just like sorted all of the medical products and stuff to the hospitals and colleges

so the boring part of the medical field lol

as soon as you walked in you just wanted to skee daddle out of there so fast

the aura was very......... arrogant

you literally sat down at the interview, more like interrogation, table and was asked very personal questions

“when was the last time you went on a date”

??

“do you like cats or dogs better?”

???

“who was the last person you had sex with?”

?????????????

at the end of the very awkward and long interview, the lady nodded with a smirk on her face

“bring in minhyun”

now, you know the name

you weren't a dumbass

minhyun was constantly on the news because of his newest medical packaging

or who he was dating

or what he ate for breakfast

SO WHEN SHE SAID HIS NAME YOUR BLOOD WENT COLD AF

you thought you were going to get the job and never encounter him but apparently not lol

after a couple of seconds of you panicking by yourself, the large oak wood door swings open and slams loudly which makes you jump in your skin

minhyun walks around the table and plops down where the lady was

jeez

he was good looking

his hair was slicked up and back and he had a black button up with a black tie

everything was black?

suddenly black was your favorite color LOL

he leans forward, looking you directly in the eyes

you wanted to break eye contact so bad but you couldnt

it was like he was entrancing you

“you have the job, ______. you are now my assistant,” he leans back in his seat, breathing out like this was a burden, “you start on sunday. let’s hope you stay longer than my other assistants”

with that he just gets up and leaves

you legit just stare at the wooden desk for a couple of seconds before having a COMPLETE MENTAL BREAKDOWN

“assistant???????? i applied for the front desk??!?!!?!?!?!?!?!?!!?”

well

you cant change it

might as well embrace it

-

sunday came way too fast for your liking

you clutched your chest slightly, taking in a deep breath, and then finally walked into the large building

as soon as you stepped inside the building, you were being whisked away by the front desk workers with eager steps

“you are so lucky, _____! you get to work with our hot CEO!” they struck up a conversation with you to calm your obvious nerves

and it worked

you felt your nerves calm for the short elevator ride up to his large office

his office had one whole floor to itself

what the heck dude

as soon as the elevator dinged signaling you were at the 25th floor, your heart leaped to your throat

the elevator doors opened and it was like a scene from a movie

minhyun was leaning against his desk, his back turned to you as he looked out his huge windows

MY LONGEST YEAH BOY EVER

no, but really it was beautiful

minhyun turned around looking at you up and down as you stepped into the office with cautious steps

“who are you?”

that immediately put a sour taste in your mouth

“im your fucking assistant??”

you couldnt help it the curse words just flowed out of your mouth

it didnt seem to phase him though so your all good

he scoffs, “that’s right” 

minhyun walks over to his coffee machine before stopping and looking at you

“make me coffee, assistant. i like 3 cups of milk and a good healthy amount of sugar. thanks” he pats your head as he walks by you

you regretted this immediately

-

working for minhyun got more and more bearable

by bearable i mean you didnt want to constantly strangle him anymore

literally, all you had to do was get him coffee in the morning, run out and get him a subway sandwich, and then sit in his office until he felt like leaving

boom you just earned 300 dollars

it wasnt bad but it still wasnt helping with college funds

listen,,,, college is expensive 300 dollars twice ever two weeks doesnt really cut it

“i think i am going to quit” you talk to minhyun as he eats his turkey sandwich

as soon as you say that, his head whips up from his sandwich and a piece of lettuce is hanging from his mouth

“w-why?” he pulls the lettuce from his mouth and sets it on the wrapper

you sigh, “this job isnt paying enough for my college”

you thought minhyun was going to give a nice smile and say, “oh let me bump your pay up a bit. no problem :)”

that was another thing about minhyun

at first, he seems cold and stoic

but after making his cup of coffee on the first day, he treated you like his best friend

even though he was still the cold looking CEO, he still acted like a decent human being (at times one time he threw his subway at a worker but that is a long story) and you started to slowly fall for him

you were coming in on days you werent supposed to work just to spend time with him and to help with some extra work

but yeah?? you thought he was going to give a nice smile??? ha. ha. ha. ha. ha nope!

he put his subway down slowly, leaning on his elbows, “you do you think you are?”

wut

this caught you fULLY OFF GUARD DUDE

“excuse me??”

“who do you think you are to come up to me and quit? or indirectly ask for a raise? you are just an assistant! i can get a new and better one of you in one single day! they probably wont complain about the pay either!!”

he was yelling at you

and it was a shock

you felt your face get red but you werent going to let him talk to you like that

you stand up, the chair screeching across the marble floor

you reach over, grabbing his subway sandwich in your hands and forcefully throw it at him, “do it then, you fucking dick head!”

he was shook

i mean who wouldnt be

his assistant just threw his lunch all over him without a worry in the world

as you were walking out he screamed at you, “fuck you and your last paycheck! that paycheck is mine!”

you shrugged and flipped him off

if you were going to leave, you were going to leave with pride

even if tears were streaming down your face when your back turned to him

-

you didnt go to any of your college classes, you were too stressed trying to make ends meet

also, you were a bit heartbroken but you wont tell anyone that

you thought that not working with minhyun would be an easy and fun thing to do but it was quite the opposite

you missed waking up to his morning texts of, “can you grab me a redbull on the way to the office? i will put it on your paycheck :)”

and you missed going to sleep with text messages like, “thank you for working so diligently today... see you tomorrow <3″

one day you even got dressed and went to his office but finally caught yourself when you were about to step in the office

it was hard, you werent going to deny that

you wondered if minhyun already had a new assistant and if they were better than you

before your thoughts could go too crazy for the 95th time that day, the ringing of your doorbell brought you out of your thoughts

you stand up from your comfortable position on your couch and walked out to the door, swinging it open

minhyun was standing there, oversized sweatshirt, sweatpants, dirty converse, and some nice under eye bags

you were shocked to see him in such a state

he was usually really done up

“i missed you” he took a couple steps forward, engulfing you in a tight hug

he smelled like a fucking subway sandwich but that was okay

you came to love that smell

before you can speak, he was pulling away and looking at you in your eye, “please, work for me again.... i will up your pay to 450 dollars 4 times a week just, please...”

he sounded desperate

it was kinda cute?

“minhyun, i want to work for you again but-”

he looks at you with hopeful eyes

he was biting his lower lips softly and it was so frickin cute 

“but?”

you giggle slightly

“but you have to take me on a date first”

THIS BOI DIED RIGHT THEN AND THERE

HE BURIED HIS HEAD IN YOUR NECK WHILE GIGGLING SOFTLY

he looks up at you with a slight blush, “deal”

[i-am-adlocked]

GOT TAGGED BY MY HOMIE @adler-hawkeye THANKS MAN U DA MAN

Answer 30 questions and then tag 20 blogs you would like to know better

Nickname: Oli (cos the pronounciation of ALLYSA is like “All is a ___” cos my parents procrastinated on my name so they used the first thing they saw, which is a painting in the hospital that says “All is a miracle.” and they didn’t want Miracle because they thought it’s so normal.)

Gender: F

Star sign: Capricorn

Height: 5'3″

Time: 09:00 AM (Legit exact)

Birthday: January 8.

Favourite band(s): Queen, Eraserheads, Coldplay, Radiohead, i know i have more but i just woke up

Favourite solo artist(s): Lady Gaga, Beyoncé, Fleurie, Lorde, Adele 

Song stuck in my head: the music in The Caterpillar scene in the Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland Ballet

Last movie I watched: “The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug” my dad was watching it and I couldn’t stop myself

Last show I watched: The Good Place

When did I create my blog: Just about two years ago, I think?

What do I post: I reblog mostly but nowadays, usually fanvids I made and GIFs of either ANGSTlock or ADlock or HARRY POTTER

Last thing I googled: “teen john meets sherlock outside hospital busking gen fic turkey sandwich enola holmes” I WAS FINDING A SPECIFIC FIC OKAY (it’s “Only Intelligent” by Basser)

Do you have other blogs: Nope. Well, actually, I do have one in WordPress but that’s a secret ;)

Do you get asks: Only once or twice a year lol

Why did you choose your url: Because I initially had a blog in 2012 called “imSHERlocked221b.tumblr.com” and I got threats and bashes for shipping Adlock so two years ago I deleted that and made this one as a slap in the face, like YOU CANT MAKE ME GO DOWN

Following: 211

Followers: 2566?!?!?!? I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS THAT MANY OH MY GOD THANK YOU EVERYONE

Favorite color: Navy Blue, Blood Red, Black (tho technically it’s a hue)

Average hours of sleep: 2-5 hours every weekday, 2-17 hours in weekends. My sleeping pattern is fucked up.

Lucky number: 8

Instruments: Piano by ear and sheets, Violin with lots of determination, Voice usually when alone because I sing explosive high-note songs

What am I wearing: Beige pair of shorts, navy blue shirt, beige dressing gown, daz it, im at home i should be preparing for school

How many blankets do I sleep with: 1, though I put a pillow on top of me and the blanket when I sleep, for added weight... like a weighted blanket

Dream job: THEATRE or ACTING

Dream trip: ANYTHING HARRY POTTER OR SHERLOCK

Favorite food: Pizza, anything as long as I have Coca-Cola by my side

Nationality: Filipino!

Favorite song now: Turning Tables by Adele

@thank-you-for-being-with-me @sentimentalgenius you two also my homies, im shy so just two people for now lmao

[peterpparkrr]

Changing the Tide: An Avengers Fanfic (5/7)

Summary: Wanda Maximoff is the new girl in town and also reconciling with the death of her twin brother, Pietro. As she starts to navigate her new life she manages to stumble into friendship with a group of teens who are surprisingly similar to her

A/N: This is basically just a highschoolAU for the Avengers without powers.

(Part 1) (Part 2) (Part 3) (Part 4) (Part 5) (Part 6) (Part 7)

The next day Wanda got to school earlier. She made sure to keep her head down as she walked the hallways before first hour. If she was going to make sure that Clint and the others left her alone she was going to make it as hard as possible for them to try and talk to her.

She made sure to walk into History seconds before the final bell rang. Wanda handed Thor back his notebook. She had started with the notes last night and copied down all ten pages of his notes in a few hours.

“Thanks,” She said, trying to be kind yet distant, before Thor could try to say anything Mr. Coulson was starting class and Wanda felt like she had jumped the first hurdle of the day.

After class Wanda got up and was out the door before Thor could register that she was gone.

Biology was much harder. Wanda had taken her time walking to the room but when she got there Steve was sitting at their table, waiting for her. She smiled awkwardly, unsure of what to do, the only other open spot in the room was next to Tony, which didn’t exactly seem like a more preferable option. When she sat down Steve tried to catch her eye.

“I just wanted you to know that I don’t see being kind to you as some sort of job I got put up to.”

“Okay,” Wanda replied, her tone neutral. Wanda wasn’t sure if she could trust Steve, she barely knew him after all, she barely knew any of these people. Wanda had never trusted anyone other than Pietro and she still wasn’t ready to admit that she was alone now.

Steve left her alone for the rest of the hour. Her conversation with Natasha during french was very similar, though Natasha admitted that Clint was stupid a lot of the time, but added that Wanda would be stupid to ignore that he was trying to do the right thing.

Philosophy was more of the same, Steve lefter alone (so did everyone else) but it was after philosophy that Wanda realized that she was going to have a problem. She didn’t have anyone to sit with at lunch. Normally this wouldn’t be a problem, Wanda had always sat with Pietro or by herself (at her old school she had essentially been invisible) but when she walked through the hallway to the lunchroom and noticed people were watching her it was then that Wanda had somehow gotten mixed up with the most popular kids in school.

Normally Wanda avoided popular kids like the plague, unfortunately, Wanda hadn’t realized that they were popular, at her old school the popular kids had been the rich kids who could have parties and nice clothes or the varsity players. These guys weren’t who he would have assumed to be the popular kids, sure, Tony was rich and his dad was famous, and Thor and Steve were super athletic, but he could barely see them being friends with each other, let alone people like Bruce or Natasha.

However, before Wanda could worry more about who she was going to eat with Steve was next to her, “Are you going to eat with us?” He asked.

“Um...yeah,” Wanda replied. She could tell that Steve was surprised by her response but he tried to not look to pleased.

When they got to their table everyone tried to be nice to Wanda without making it too obvious. Wanda almost felt worse because of the fact that they were treating her like a rabbit that they didn’t want to scare away than she had yesterday when she felt like they were all pretending to be nice to her.

Maybe Wanda had over-reacted? Should she just let go of her assumptions and let them in?

No.

At least, not yet.

Wanda stayed silent for most of lunch, after everyone relaxed slightly the conversations started up like normal and Wanda listened quietly while she picked at the sad excuse for a sandwich she had made herself before leaving the house. She didn’t even like turkey, so why had she slapped three pieces of it on the bread she had found in the pantry? Wanda was so wrapped up thinking about her poor sandwich making skills that she didn’t notice when Clint sat down next to her.

“I’m sorry about yesterday,” he said, breaking Wanda out of her train of thought, she looked up, no one else was listening to them, they all had their own conversations going.

“Okay,” Wanda replied. She hadn’t really forgiven Clint for what he had said, but Wanda wasn’t exactly one to hold grudges - at least not outwardly. The internal battle Wanda was having was fierce. She had always been a fighter, but right now she just wanted to give up.

Wanda couldn’t help but think back to being at the hospital after Pietro’s accident. When Clint found her she was hiding in the storage closet bawling her eyes out.

“Um… can I help you?” a boy about her age asked. Wanda looked up, startled by the intruder before she realized that she was the one who wasn’t supposed to be here.

“Sorry, I just- How could I have let this happen? It’s all my fault.” Wanda sobbed.

“What?” He asked, crouching down next to her.

“M-my brother was in a car accident, he’s in the ICU right now,” Wanda told him, “They don’t know if he’s going to make it.”

“I’m still not seeing how this is your fault,” He said gently.

“I was the one who told him leave.” Wanda cried, “We needed milk, I told him to just go find some, so he did and then he ran a red light a few blocks from our house. He got T-boned and now he’s here.”

"Hey, look at me. It’s your fault, it’s his fault, it’s the other driver’s fault, who cares." he replied, “Sitting here is going to change what happened.”

“They won’t let me or our parents back to see him,” Wanda said, pulling her hands away from her face.

“Oh, well I can probably sneak you into his room,” he replied nonchalantly as he stood up and held out his hand to help her up.

“Really, you would do that for me?” Wanda asked him as she got to her feet.

“Sure, as long as we don’t get caught.” He replied with a wink before grabbing her hand and leading her out of the closet.

The two of them snuck down the hallway and around a few doctors into the ICU.

“What’s his name?” The boy had asked her when they got to a nurses station.

“Pietro Maximoff,” She replied quickly, glancing around nervously.

“Hey, if you keep looking around like you’re not supposed to be here they’ll realize that you’re not and kick you out.” He told her while typing into the computer.

“Right, sorry,” She replied.

“Room 324,” He announced, looking up from the computer, “Right this way.”

Wanda nodded and followed him down the hallway.

“You can’t go in, unfortunately because there’s a bunch of nurses right now, but you can look into the room,” He told her while they walked briskly, “Are you ready for this?” He asked her, glancing sidelong at her.

“Yes,” she answered definitively.

“Well, this is it.” he said, gesturing to the room number next to the door right in front of him, “You’ve probably got five or six minutes until his doctors come back.”

Wanda nodded and walked up to the doorway. She hadn’t know what to expect, but she figured it would be something like on all of those doctor shows on TV, that Dr. McDreamy would be bossing around people and her family would be able to go home by the end of the episode.

That’s not really what it was like.

I mean, there was a nurse who seemed busy enough, but she hadn’t realize that he was actually hooked up to tons of machines, everything about the situation seemed wrong and -painful-. Wanda could barely see Pietro’s face, there were so many wires and tubes connected to it.

After what had felt like mere seconds to Wanda at the time but must have been several minutes in reality she had felt the hand of the boy on his shoulder.

“We need to go now,” He told her, his voice soft.

“No.”

“If we don’t I’m going to lose my job.”

Wanda sighed and turned away from her brother’s body.

At the time Wanda hadn’t know that would be the last time she would see her twin’s body while he was still alive.

“No, like I’m really sorry about what I said yesterday, that was super out of line,” Clint replied, snapping Wanda back into reality.

“You were there for me when no one else was, you have no idea how much that meant to me, I’ll never be able to thank you enough.” Wanda said, dutifully examining the bread of her sandwich so she wouldn’t have to look at him, “It’s just...I haven’t really talked about Pietro since it happened. I can’t.”

“That’s okay, we don’t have to talk about. Just know that whenever you’re ready, I’m here - we’re all here for you.” He said, “Even Tony, especially Tony.”

“Thanks, can we just drop it for now?”

“Of course,” Clint said with a slight smile, taking a bite of his lunch, “How are your classes? Catching up?” He asked through a mouthful of food.

“Yeah, I’ve had to do work every chance I get though, these teachers really do not take it easy do they?”

Steve looked over at Wanda when she said that, “That reminds me, we have a Philosophy study group that meets every Thursday after school to hash out ideas and help with the essays and stuff, you should join.”

Wanda nodded, “Oh, awesome, that would be a huge help.”

“And we all tend to get together every afternoon at someone’s house to do homework and hang out,” Clint added, “So you have a standing invitation for that too, we don’t always get a lot of work done though, so just know that if you show up you’re going to get distracted any time you try to do actual work.”

Wanda laughed slightly, “Okay.”

“We always figure it out in the groupchat, Peggy interjected, “can I add you?”

“Um.. sure,” Wanda replied, quickly rattling off her phone number as Peggy typed it into her phone. The moment Peggy was done Wanda heard her phone start pinging and pulled it out of her backpack.

(216)355-7654 (12:42) Omg is the new number wanda???

(216)355-7654 (12:42) heyyy wanda

(216)787-3584 (12:42) Yes. You heard our conversation, please stop texting the group chat for stupid reasons.

(216)355-7654 (12:42) sorry peg. Luv youuuuu

(216)651-4599 (12:43) we’re all sitting at the same table just talk to each other

“Um...” Wanda muttered.

“Here,” Clint said, putting his hand out, “I’ll but everyone’s contacts in so you know who’s who.”

Wanda nodded and handed her phone over to him. After a few minutes Clint handed her phone back and Wanda scrolled through to see the names of everyone at the table were now added into her phone, along with a few that she didn’t recognize.

“Who are these other people?” Wanda asked, pointing to their names.

“Oh, those are a few of our other friends, they don’t have this lunch though. Peter Parker is Tony’s stalker, Sam Wilson is Steve’s best friend, Hank Pym is another science nerd, I don’t really know why we need another one but I guess he’s cool, T’Challa’s another one of the exchange students, Carol Danvers is a badass who can do whatever she wants, and Bucky Barnes is basically Steve’s boyfriend.”

Wanda was still trying to take in all of this information in order to make sure she’d remember who everyone was, “I thought Steve and Peggy were…” Wanda replied, confused.

“No one really knows which one he’s actually interested in,” Clint replied, offhandedly, “Well, do you think you’ll come over this afternoon? Study group is at my house.”

“Sure, it’s not like I have anything else to do.” Wanda replied with a slight smirk.

[mag200]

here u go

1. Do you ever doubt the existence of others than you?

uh i tend to either doubt the existence of everyone including myself, or doubt my own existence but not everyone else’s

2. On a scale of 1-5, how afraid of the dark are you?

like 1 or 2 i live for the night bicth

3. The person you would never want to meet?

this is hard because even people i truly hate i would want to meet so i can fight them. so maybe jrr tolkien bc my expectations are probably too high and meeting him would be like “oh right ur a just a real and regular person that existed righto”

4. What is your favorite word?

probably “fuck” lets be real it’s just so flexible

5. If you were a type of tree, what would you be?

i have been asking myself this question my entire life and i cannot yet answer with certainty but i rlly relate to swamp maples

6. When you looked in the mirror this morning what was the first thing you thought?

“damn im good at cutting my hair” (i chopped my bangs last night)

7. What shirt are you wearing?

a feminist tee shirt my cousin’s girlfriend made

8. What do you label yourself as?

a goth bitch. a gay motherfucker. a sleepy boi.

9. Bright room or dark room?

uhh i like a lot of natural light, i don’t have blinds on my windows so it can get bright but the best is early morning or evening when its pretty dark out and i have my string lights turned on. so i guess low-to-neutral lighting.

10. What were you doing at midnight last night?

sleeping lol.

11. Favorite age you’ve been so far?

18 was reeeaal good but i’m gonna be 21 next and i am looking forward to that i think it will be a fun time

12. Who told you they loved you last?

my dad or my stepmom like yesterday probably

13. Your worst enemy?

not to be an edgelord but. my own brain probably.

14. What is your current desktop picture?

usually a pretty nature picture bc im a basic bitch, rn its this

15. Do you like someone?

um i like taylor swift

16. The last song you listened to?

the 10 hour version of “weightless” by marconi union (its my background music for nanowrimo)

17. You can press a button that will make any one person explode. Who would you blow up?

hahah um idk if i can say this without the fbi showing up

18. Who would you really like to just punch in the face?

no one in particular in this exact moment but. if a nazi shows up.

19. If anyone could be your slave for a day, who would it be and what would they have to do?

im uh not comfortable with this concept

20. What is your best physical attribute? (showing said attribute is optional)

idk maybe my eyes i like my face a lot but i also like my arms a lot but also my hairy legs? beautiful.

21. If you were the opposite sex for one day, what would you look like and what would you do?

first of all it would be pretty lit bc i’m genderfluid and i’d have a great time looking physically masc. so ideally i’d have long hair and a beard and i would just go for a hike and write and be beautiful.

22. Do you have a secret talent? If yes, what is it?

i dont have anything thats a secret to everyone but like most people dont know that i used to snowboard all the time and was real fuckin good at it

23. What is one unique thing you’re afraid of?

that theres a monster in the toilet thats going to reach up and grab me while im peeing

24. You can only have one kind of sandwich. Every sandwich ingredient known to humankind is at your disposal.

alfalfa sprouts, sharp cheddar cheese, hummus, cucumbers, spicy mustard, turkey, and figs on rye bread

25. You just found $100! How are you going to spend it?

tattoo definitely

26. You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere in the world, but you have to leave immediately. Where are you going to go?

ICELAND

27. An angel appears out of Heaven and offers you a lifetime supply of the alcoholic beverage of your choice. “Be brand-specific” it says. Man! What are you gonna say about that? Even if you don’t drink booze there’s something you can figure out… so what’s it gonna be?

i literally have no idea what i like so. i would pass the offer on to my dad he is much wiser in the lore of alcoholic beverages than i am.

28. You discover a beautiful island upon which you may build your own society. You make the rules. What is the first rule you put into place?

no TERFs.

29. What is your favorite expletive?

mother of fuck.

30. Your house is on fire, holy shit! You have just enough time to run in there and grab ONE inanimate object. Don’t worry, your loved ones and pets have already made it out safely. So what’s the one thing you’re going to save from that blazing inferno?

uh my journals

31. You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?

jesus christ. um. no im not getting into this shit here tbh i didnt read all these questions before reblogging this thing sorry.

32. You got kicked out of the country for being a time-traveling heathen who sleeps with celebrities and has super-powers. But check out this cool shit… you can move to anywhere else in the world!

iceland here i come.

33. The Celestial Gates Of Beyond have opened, much to your surprise because you didn’t think such a thing existed. Death appears. As it turns out, Death is actually a pretty cool entity, and happens to be in a fantastic mood. Death offers to return the friend/family-member/person/etc. of your choice to the living world. Who will you bring back?

of course Death is a cool entity you dont have to tell me that. anyway i have not yet lost someone in my family to death that i was super close to so. i’d bring back carrie fisher.

34. What was your last dream about?

i was in a deep crater trying to climb out to look beyond the rocks... i knew the ocean was supposed to be there and i was supposed to be able to see japan from there if i could climb up?? but when i got to the top and looked out, the ocean was gone and a barren landscape lay before me, images sliding into place like a powerpoint presentation superimposed on the sky of the apocalypse that had struck during my exile, the art and culture that was lost, the demise of the world. i climbed back down to chill in the bottom of my crater.

35. Are you a good….[insert anything you’d like here]?

yes i am a good.

36. Have you ever been admitted to the hospital?

yeah only three times i think but all within the same year.

37. Have you ever built a snowman?

hell yeah

38. What is the color of your socks?

not wearing any right now but the last pair i was wearing are orange, brown, and tan

39. What type of music do you like?

uhh lots of kinds but my top 3 are taylor swift, my chemical romance, and hayley kiyoko

40. Do you prefer sunrises or sunsets?

sunrises but if i lived on the west coast and could watch the sunset on the water i might prefer that

41. What is your favorite milkshake flavor?

chocolate

42. What football team do you support? (I will answer in terms of American football as well as soccer)

i dont care about sports teams buddy

43. Do you have any scars?

yeah i have a bunch from just playing and doing weird shit in the woods and a lot from picking at bug bites for too long, but i also have a couple self-harm scars from a while back

44. What do you want to be when you graduate?

idk exactly but im going back to school soon for environmental science and i’d love to do anything that lets me be outside and work with plants or animals

45. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?

i’d either be born DMAB or have a brain that isn’t so goddamn forgetful

46. Are you reliable?

u mm idk i try to be but i am not for everyone

47. If you could ask your future self one question, what would it be?

what do u regret not doing

48. Do you hold grudges?

i do but very selectively, only for like one or two people

49. If you could breed two animals together to defy the laws of nature, what new animal would you create?

um idk maybe i could combine goats and turkey vultures into some kind of goat/dragon/bird of prey. think of the mayhem.

50. What is the most unusual conversation you’ve ever had?

i genuinely cannot remember sorry. but it was probably in an online forum in 2007 during the height of random humor.

51. Are you a good liar?

uhhh doubtful but i used to think i was good lol

52. How long could you go without talking?

i’ve gone a couple days without talking before and im sure i could go much longer, maybe months or years even altho it would not be healthy for me.

53. What has been you worst haircut/style?

junior year when i thought i knew how to cut my own hair (but i really didn’t) and i wanted to look like a knockoff brand Skins character (and i really did). that wasn’t rlly good but it was fun and i dont regret it.

54. Have you ever baked your own cake?

nah im not really a cake person

55. Can you do any accents other than your own?

i can sometimes do a british accent which i’ve been told is convincing to american ears but is probably very overdone. i can’t speak other accents but my brain gets stuck thinking in scottish or like a cowboy accent from old westerns a lot of the time.

56. What do you like on your toast?

lots of stuff depending on my mood but my fav is a runny egg where the bread can soak up all the yolk.

57. What is the last thing you drew a picture of?

eleven from stranger things

58. What would be you dream car?

i rlly rlly miss my old car that had to be junked almost a year ago. i don’t remember what kind it actually was but it was from the 80s and was a faded baby blue and small and boxy and the seats still smelled like cigars. any car from that time period but with a modern stereo + aux cord is the dream. or a big lesbian pickup truck like what bella has in twilight but with decent gas mileage. the dream.

59. Do you sing in the shower? Or do anything unusual in the shower? Explain.

yes but only if im home alone. what i do most in the shower is have imaginary conversations or pretend that i’ve been trekking through middle earth for four months without bathing and this is the first opportunity i’ve had to clean myself and i enjoy the shit out of it. or i pretend i’m a dragon.

60. Do you believe in aliens?

yeah dude definitely

61. Do you often read your horoscope?

no ive done that like maybe twice ever

62. What is your favorite letter of the alphabet?

R its just so good

63. Which is cooler: dinosaurs or dragons?

dragons but i fuckgin love dinosaurs dude

64. What do you think about babies?

i’m a little awkward/insecure around them but i feel deeply protective when i hold one and in general i think theyre pretty awesome

65. Freebie! Ask anything interesting you can think of.

hah motherfucker u forgot to ask me one