#cause my bus is at like around 4am

[tenrose]

It's my last day in Ireland already 🥹

[britswriting]

Visiting Y/N on Campus! H.S

Summery: Harry surprises his girlfriend on campus!

Rate: Everyone - brief swearing

WC: 2k - fluff Xx

Masterlist

Read on Wattpad

Harrysbabyhoney: Harry Styles spotted at an airport in Boston this morning!

Simone34857: Help I almost shat my pants seeing Harry Styles 😭 It was 4am. I wanted a snack- HE SAW ME LOOK LIKE A RAT KILL ME

All the girls at Y/N’s University were losing their minds as Harry swiftly walked through the campus, knowing exactly where he was going.

He gave quick waves and head nods to passing fans, walking too fast for them to ask for photos.

He took the stairs by two, wanting to get to his girlfriend as quickly as possible. He stopped at the RA’s desk, signing in on the sheet, thanking the young woman who seemed to care less.

16, 18, 20 he mumbled to himself, checking his phone once more before knocking on room 24, a smile on his face as he heard shuffling.

The door whipped open, his stunning girlfriend wearing a look of shock.

“Hi love”

“Shut the hell up!” She gasped, Harry laughing, opening his arms.

“Surprise?”

“You suck so bad, Styles! I look like shit” She frowned, looking down at her three day old clothes, knowing her hair hasn’t been brushed in a week and her face has crusty makeup on it from the night before.

“Gunna let me in sweetheart?” He asked, a tiny smirk appearing on her face as she went to shut the door in his face, Harry’s palm slapping the hard wooden door, stopping it. “You think you’re so cute” 

“Actually-”

“Shut up and kiss me or I’m getting back on that plane to London” He threatened, Y/N pulling him into her dorm, letting the door shut as their lips locked. “I’ve missed you baby”

Y/N showed Harry all her course work, Harry having asked how college was going, joking that he would’ve dropped out the second they said he would have to buy a $100 textbook.

“Okay Mr. Multimillionaire” She laughed, setting the textbook aside.

That evening they decided to be risky and slip out of the dorms, Harry having been craving Sushi, promising Y/N they’d stop at her favorite market on the way back.

Hand in hand they walked through campus, the sushi place being around the corner.

“Y/N?” A girl said, causing his girlfriend to turn and look, Harry following her lead. “You’re dating Harry Styles?” She asked, Y/N immediately freezing.

“Just hanging out. See you later Mimi” Y/N waved, tugging Harry away who was giggling to himself. “I swear I just watched you shit your pants”

“You’re the one who suggested we leave the safety of my dorm!” 

“Want to explore my beautiful girlfriend's campus. I haven’t been to college, you know? I mean, look at this place” He spoke in awe, tilting his head up as he looked around. “My girlfriend is so smart” He complimented, leaning over to kiss her cheek.

“Harry, we’re in public!” She gasped, shocked by his boldness.

She was surprised they were openly holding hands, and now he’s kissing her cheek? 

“And?”

“I don’t want to be on a tabloid looking like garbage!” she griped, already seeing people’s phones out.

“You don’t look like garbage babe” he reassured her, Y/N shaking her head, “I’m in BU sweatpants and your hoodie. I look like trash”

“We’re literally wearing the same thing”

~

“I don’t know how you eat that shit” She fake gagged, Harry fake a moan as he ate it, smirking at his girlfriend. “That’s disgusting”

“‘I’m so glad you love me so much babe” He teased, picking up a piece of sushi with his chopsticks, trying to force it into her mouth, Y/N’s lips in a thin line as she avoided the gross food, Harry’s grin turning into a laugh.

“You’re an asshole!” She pouted, Harry happily eating the sushi.

“Oh my god, are you Harry Styles?” A girl asked, stopping dead in her tracks by the table.

“I am, hello” He greeted her, setting the chopsticks down, the fan looking over at me, then back at Harry.

“Oh my god, Hi! I love your music! I’m seeing you next year” She exclaimed, a smile on her face.

“Awe, thank you love! Can’t wait to see you. Are you coming to the Boston show?” he asked, the girl nodding.

“I spent my life savings on it, it was worth it!” She giggled, Y/N stealing pieces of rice off Harry’s plate, Harry noticing out of the corner of his eye.

Y/N took the fan’s photo before the fan left them alone.

📍Boston, Massachusetts 

kristina_Heavens: Just met @harrystyles on my BU Campus, what is happening!! 

“Sorry baby” he apologized, turning his plate towards, Y/N, silently offering her his rice.

“S’fine, let me know if you want a box” She murmured, leaning back in her chair, pulling out her phone and subconsciously checking her timeline.

📍Boston, University 

Alyssamorelli: No fucking way is @harrystyles on my fucking campus right now

Y/N quietly sighed, shutting off her phone.

Harry knew that sigh.

“What’s wrong love?”

“We’re all over my friends' Instagram feeds” She mumbled, pinching some of the rice between her fingers, dropping it into her mouth.

“And that’s a problem, why?” He asked, plopping the last piece of sushi into his mouth, his eyes watching her subtle movements.

“It’s not a problem per se.. Just… nervous people will change around me, you know? I like being a loner. It makes skimming by easier” She confessed, Harry letting out a light chuckle.

“Next time I’ll hire an FX artist and transform myself. Show up to your dorm as an old man, big bushy beard, the whole nine yards” he grinned, Y/N smiling, shaking her head.

She gave her student ID to the woman at the counter, getting a discount on the meal, the two of them thanking her and heading out.

That night Y/N cuddled up into Harry’s chest, her laptop playing a Netflix show they had chosen to watch together as she skimmed through her math assignment, anxiously waiting for her roommate to get back.

Before she knew it, Harry had fallen asleep next to her, his arm draped over her lap as she hunched forward, pausing the show only to hear her door open, Freya walking in, her arms full of books.

Freya’s eyes widened, almost dropping her books before whisper yelling “You didn’t tell me he was coming!” to which Y/N whisper yelled “I didn’t know!” 

Y/N proceeded to quietly explain the situation, her roommate dropping all their books onto their bed, falling into their nightly routine as if Harry wasn’t even there.

The next morning Y/N and Harry went out to breakfast together off of campus, going on a mini exploration date; Harry commenting how much he loved Boston’s weather this time of year.

“I thought you were a London boy?” She teased, their hands intertwined as they walked along the sidewalk.

“London is nice in portions” he began to explain, turning to look at his beautiful girlfriend. 

How did he get so lucky?

“In portions?” She laughed, his lips tugging up into a smile, “You told me you loved it there! Now it’s only good in portions?” She giggled.

“It depends if you’re in the mood for the weather it brings, I guess. Plus, it’s busy and uh, being famous.. Can’t really sneak around as much there”

“Are you ever going to bring me?” She joked, Harry’s been hounding her for months, but with her school and work schedule she can’t seem to find any time to free herself from BU’s Campus.

“Don’t even start!” His voice raised, giving her a playful look.

“Oh come on H! Wanna meet your mum” She mocked his accent, Harry faking offense.

“Bloody American you are”

Y/N rolled her eyes, tugging Harry along with her into a shop, promising herself to not buy anymore trinkets, but that didn’t mean Harry wasn’t ready to open up his wallet, finding a magnitude of gifts for his family.

Their last day together was bittersweet, but also welcomed.

Y/N hated leaving him, but she also loved when he came back to surprise her. It gave her something to look forward to each day.

“I’m sorry people took photos of you” Harry murmured into her neck, placing a soft kiss against her skin, Y/N’s arms clinging onto his back.

“It’s alright” She sighed, Harry placing kisses up her jaw to her cheek before letting hips lips linger against her own.

“I’m going to miss you bubs” He frowned slightly at her, Y/N shaking her head.

“Just a phone call away, remember? Plus, I like when you surprise me, you know that” She grinned, Harry nodding, kissing her once more.

“I’m sorry I could only stay for two days-”

“Hey, no. Stop. It’s alright. Two days is better than no days. I’m happy I got to see you at all” She quickly reassured him, her hands reaching for his face, cradling his cheeks between her palms.

“You’re still going to try and come to a show, right?” He asked, Y/N nodding. 

“I really want to. Who knows, maybe I’ll ditch for you” She grinned, Harry’s smirk beginning to show. “It’s just hard since I’m almost graduated. I’ve got so much to do” She pouted, her hands falling down to his waist as Harry’s hands slid around to her ass, resting his hands as he kissed her again.

“Well, I can wait to be there when you get your degree, and I’m sure one of the guys will FaceTime you again if you can’t make it. I know how important graduating with honors is to you, little miss, I want to be the valedictorian”

“Hey! I’m working my ass off! Might as well have something to show for it!” She swatted his arm, harry’s hands moving to her waist, tugging her closer.

“Your master’s isn’t good enough?” he teased, Y/N rolling her eyes.

“Leave me alone Mr. This song is amazing but doesn’t fit the album. Release Singles! You can put things out that aren’t on an album Harry!” She began to argue, one they’ve had a plethora of times, neither one budging.

They playfully argued for a moment before Harry just leaned down and kissed her, knowing it worked every time, unless she truly was pissed, then he was opening a whole new door in satan’s layer.

“I’ve got to get going baby” He reminded her, sadness washing over Y/N again. “I’ve placed my recent hoodie on your bed and yours is in my bag” He reminded her, the ritual becoming a piece of mind for the both of them.

“I still can’t believe it fits you, and you wear it” She snickered, her hands playing with his hair.

“You buy hoodies in my size” he reminded her, chuckling.

“They’re comfy!”

“I know love, why I buy ‘em” 

“Shut up and get out before Jeffery sends a search warrant!” She playfully shoved him towards the door, Harry letting out a crackle.

“I love you too” he teased, his girlfriend grinning.

“I love you more, go be Harry Styles, kay?” 

“As long as I get to come home and be Harry for you”

Y/N nodded, her eyes beginning to sting, knowing he was about to walk out the door and she wouldn’t see him until god knows when.

With one more hug and kiss, the two separated and Harry signed out on the dorm sheet, wishing Y/N’s RA a good evening, repeating his route back to the airport, ready to go take off his BU hoodie and sweatpants, and put on his dazzling suit patterns, perfected hair and impeccable charm, praying that his visit on campus didn’t rise any havoc in his girlfriend’s life.

He was perfectly fine playing the role of Harry Styles, if that meant he got to still be Harry at the end of the day, snuggled up in bed on FaceTime with his girlfriend.

He didn’t know how he got so lucky finding the most incredibly beautiful, smart, ambitious, and extremely understanding girl.

He hoped playing Harry Styles didn't ruin Harry.

[5sosxqueen]

Luke Sick and They Don't Believe Him

~Part 1~ , Part 2 > , Part 3 >

God, the grammer in this is terrible 😆

Warnings: depictions of illness, vomiting

Written in 2018

Word Count: 1810

Updates are every Tuesdays and Thursdays

Also Available on Wattpad and AO3!!!

Part 1:

Luke's p.o.v:

     "We should head to bed. We've got a long day ahead of us boys." Micheal reminded us. It was approaching midnight.

     "I'm actually excited though. I've been looking forward to this concert for a while." Calum exclaimed.

     "I know right. God! I can't wait." I said doing a little twirl with my hands on my head before flopping onto the bed.

      "Too bad we have the interviews as well." Ash spoke up.

      "Hey it's not that bad Ash three interviews before a concert isn't too bad. I mean we have a couple radio interviews and one live one." I said trying to lighten his mood.

     "Welp, goodnight guys." I said earning a chorus of good nights back.

     Upon waking, I knew this day was going to be pure shit. I've been up for almost two hours sitting on my bed. I had looked at the time when I got up and it was just barely hitting 2:20am. We have to be up in, like 3 hours. My stomach is in knots. After another 30 minutes listening to my stomach grumble angrily I decided to get up and get water and some stomach relaxers.

     I waited for another 30 minutes before deciding to stay up and go to the couch. I must have fallen asleep because the next thing I knew Calum was shaking me.

     "Luke... Why are you on the couch? Are you feeling ok?" He questioned with Michael and Ashton behind him looking just as confused. I shook my head.

      "I woke up feeling poorly at 2 in the morning so I came out here. I think I fell asleep sometime around 4am. I still feel really poorly... A lot worse actually." I said looking down at my hands.

     "Wow, Luke really??? I can understand not sleeping well and being tired, but faking sick to get out of our busy schedule is the definition of low, and after what you said about it not being that bad too." Michael huffed and stormed off. I just watched in shock as he walked into the back room. I looked at Ash who had a disappointed look on his face. I felt so much worse than last night. I couldn't understand why they didn't believe me. Why do they think I'm faking? It's not like I've done it before.... Why would I now?

     "Ok. I'm sorry, I'll get ready now. I'm so sorry... I'm just going to take a shower." I hung my head with tears prickling the edges of my eyes. I furiously wiped them before getting up. I heard Calum calling me and ignored him. It's not like he'd believe me anyways. I gathered my clothes and went to the bathroom. I looked at my reflection in the and once again I couldn't grasp why they didn't believe me... I had bags and strong dark circles under my eyes, I was peaky, and I visibly shaking. I was sweating. It was so painfully obvious I was sick.

     I got undressed and started the water. I was washing my hair and suddenly felt my stomach do a complete 360 causing me to heave. I had only two seconds before I was vomiting harshly. I reached up and pointed the shower head downward to wash away the mess. I got out once my stomach calmed down enough and slowly got dressed. Ashton banged hard on the door out of nowhere and I jumped jostling my stomach. I ran for the sink in a fit of gagging.

     "LUKE, COME ON! GET YOUR ASS OUT OF THERE! WE ARE GOING TO BE LATE!" He yelled. I don't know if he just didn't hear me dying, or if he just didn't care. After another minute of gagging the nausea dissipated, much to my relief. I tossed my clothes onto my bunk not caring if it was sloppy and stormed off the bus. I went straight to the back and laid down, not caring if they said anything.  The ride to the photo shoot was silent, but I help the headache that was forming so I didn't particularly mind it.

Calum's p.o.v:

     I knew right away that Luke was poorly. I could see him shivering vigorously and I saw a shear layer of sweat on his skin. When Michael said what he did to him I was horrified... I couldn't believe it. Ash looked like he felt the same way as Michael too.

     "Ok. I'm sorry, I'll get ready now. I'm so sorry... I'm just going to take a shower." My head snapped to luke and I saw him wiping tears from his and as he stood up. He walked away quickly into the bunk room and I called out to him, but he must not have heard me.

     When luke was getting out of the shower Ashton decided to bang on the door and yell at the top of his lungs. I hated this. I know he's sick and I go to the bathroom door and go to knock, but I listen carefully when I hear weird noises. It was gagging my chest hurt. I ran over to Michael. "Michael how could you be so heartless!? He's clearly sick! I can't tell just by looking at him he has a high fever... And guess what??? He puking right now. He's really sick and you want to be an asshat." I stormed away, not giving a chance to respond and went to the van where I saw luke curled up in the back seat.  The ride was awkward. When we got to the first interview I tapped on Luke's shoulder.

     He took a deep frustrated breathe before turning around. "What Calum?"

     "What's going on? I know you're sick. What are your symptoms... Besides vomiting?" His eyes widened.

     "You heard me? I thought-" he put his hand to his mouth and and tilted his head back when his breath hitched. I couldn't help but notice tears of pure relief in his eyes. Without a second thought engulfed him in a hug and he started bawling. "M-Michael and Ash don't bel-believe me C-Cal." He stuttered out. "I-I thought you...."

     "I know buddy. I know. I tried talking to Michael too, but I got the same thing you did. I'm so sorry Luke." He was crying so hard he started coughing and chocking. "Breathe. You need to breathe. You're going to make yourself sick again." Just then Ashton popped his head in.

     "Luke you need to stop this... We are due to go on in 10." He closed the door giving me no chance to protest. I sighed.

     "Come on Luke. Can you try to do this interview? I'll hold your hand during it and if you need to get up squeaze it and I'll get you to a restroom." He nodded and we walked into the room.  We sat down and started the interview and Luke only answered questions thrown directly to him. Around mid way through I looked over to him and saw his eyes screwed shut and he was dripping sweat. Seconds later he very tightly squeazed my hand.

     "Excuse us for a little bit. Sorry but it's urgent." Luke let go of my hand and bolted toward the door, gaining an eyeroll from other two. I ran after Luke with no luck finding a restroom nearby.

     Sure enough, he suddenly came to a halt, placing his forearm on the wall. He leaned forward and placed a hand on his knee for support and he started to wretch, the sound echoing loudly in the tiled hallways.

     I was thankful that the walls in every recording booth are soundproof. I would feel awkward puking in the middle of the hallway. I put a hand on his back as he wretched over and over.

     He got a small break. "Luke will you be ok while I go get Michael, Ashton, and Matt?" He nodded slightly and slid down the wall so that he was on his knees. I helped ease him down before running back to the booth. Since this is a prerecorded interview and not a live one, I burst through the doors, purposely leaving it cracked some. "Matt, guys you need to come with me."

     "Why?" Michael asked. As if to answer the question Luke dry heaved, causing everyone's eyes to widen drastically. "Oh shit... Please don't tell me-" I nodded before he could finished and all four of us bolted out of the room. Right as we approached Luke, he jolted forward and painted the tile with vomit. "Fuck, I'm so sorry Luke. I should have listened to you and to Cal..." He said going over to Luke to rub his back as he continued to bring up massive waves.

     Ashton sighed heavily. "I'm sorry too, I heard you getting sick in the shower." He hung his head in shame.

     "You ok now mate?" Matt asked as Luke's vomiting died down to hiccups. Luke shook his head.

     "Still feel like complete shit. Not as nauseous anymore I suppose, but that wasn't the first time I've been sick today." He tried to get up only to fall backwards. "Ow." He said with a wince. Michael and Ashton helped him up while Matt called management.

     "Get him into the van guys and Cal find a bag or bin." Matt said and the guilty boys brought him back to the van and I went to search for a small bin or bag. I finally found one after 10 minutes of searching. I went back to the van and saw Luke hunched over leaning against the van breathing really heavily. 'Uh oh...'

Luke's p.o.v:

     As Michael and Ashton were getting me to the van the nausea picked up almost worse than before. "There can't possibly be anything left in my stomach..."

     "Are you going to be sick again?" Ashton asked.

     "I think so, but not right this second." We continued walking to the van and as soon as we got there I scrambled out of the their grasp. I leaned up against the van feeling what little I have in my stomach slosh around. Each breathe I took threatened to send everything up. I gagged and rested my head on my forearms. My legs started to feel like jello and I felt myself falling and someone rushed over and caught me before I hit the ground. I looked up and saw that it was Calum. Matt ran up to us, seeing us on the ground.

     "I'mgoingtobesick..." I slapped my hand over my mouth and sat up just in time to heave away from him. I didn't stop until my stomach was empty. I dry heaved for what felt like forever.  Finally after 30 minutes I was done.

     "Management is allowing you to skip the interviews, but you need to do the concert."

[freefallthoughtless]

12 days ago, I overdosed massively. On my prescription medication. I have zero memory of it. I was high on sleeping meds. The last thing I remember is sitting in my bed watching a movie and taking that sleeping pill. The next thing I remember is waking up in the hospital at 4am, 2 days later, in absolute panic because I could feel my body was fucked. And I had no memory of why I was in hospital, why I felt so awful. A nurse held my hand through a panic attack, but didn’t explain anything. I fought with panic for hours before I passed out again. I woke up around noon. I couldn’t walk or sit up without fainting. A doctor came in and told me they had a room ready for me at the psych ward. And I asked him “am I not already at S5?”. I thought I was, but I also knew I wasn’t, cause the room I was in didn’t look like the psych ward rooms. I asked him why they had painted the doors black and why the bathroom tiles were different than usually.

I asked him why I felt so bad, and he said it was because of the OD. I said “I haven’t od’ed”

But I had. He said it was clearly a suicide attempt but I couldn’t make that make sense, cause I had no memory of feeling suicidal.

He left and I asked a nurse for a charger because my phone battery was dead. And then I passed out again.

When I woke up and checked my phone, I had several messages from my friend Laura, asking me if I was okay. She was the one who had caught on to me not being okay, and she had contacted my support time, and they rang for an ambulance.

I replied saying I was okay. To ease her anxiety. I didn’t feel even close to fine. I was confused, scared and in physical distress still.

Different doctors and nurses came and went, I had trouble talking and thinking, which made communication with them difficult. I was so out of it. I couldn’t pee which they were very concerned about, they thought my kidneys were damaged.

Yet despite me not being able to even sit up, despite me not being able to talk properly, despite me being emotionally fucked as well, they allowed me to discharge myself. I knew I wasn’t ready, but I couldn’t stop worrying because my cat had been alone at home for two days.

My support team came and picked me up, I was in a wheelchair and even then I felt incredibly faint.

I came home. Charlie was perfectly fine. So I went straight to bed and slept for 14 hours. I was still unable to stand for long or walk more than a couple of steps without getting faint the next day. And my pee was dark brown even though I had hydrated myself plenty in hospital.

The daylight hours were okay at home and I spent they day piecing together what had happened. I found the packages from the medication I had od’ed on. I had taken 200mg’s of zolpedim (max dosage a day is 10mg) and 8000mgs of Seroquel (max dosage a day is 1200mg). It’s not the biggest OD I’ve taken, but I’ve never felt worse physically.

In the evening I began feeling suicidal and I got scared.

I ended up getting a doctor out to my apartment to assess me for being admitted to psych. But he said they didn’t have room so I should just take som PRN and relax.

I texted a friend saying I didn’t know what to do about it. She said her and her mom could come pick me up and I could stay with them.

So they did. I felt awful but I finally got some food, the first thing I had eaten in almost 4 days. And then we went to bed. I didn’t sleep a single second, but my friend was next to me, and a dog she was dog-sitting in the bed as well. And I felt okay.

She woke up at 8am the next day and we talked for a few hours, got breakfast and then we decided to nap for a bit and I finally got 4 hours of sleep.

At 3pm I went home. The walk to the bus stop was difficult and I felt so bad physically.

I was stilling peeing dark brown and decided with my support team to go see my doctor the next day to get my kidney function checked. But that evening my pee began getting clearer so I decided not to the next morning.

The next many days I was only in my bed. I slept or daydreamed for a whole week before I got a bit of energy back. I thought I’d never feel energy again.

My cat Charlie was so patient with me. She’s normally very active and vocal, but she just relaxed with me, cuddled with me and slept when I did. And she was so much more affectionate. I’ve never believed cats where that emotionally intuitive, but for that whole week she really was.

The past 3 days I’ve gotten more and more energy by the day, and I feel a lot better, physically and emotionally. It’s a big relief.

I’ve thought a lot about what would’ve happened if Laura hadn’t picked up on me being off when we texted that night.

When I was at my friends house we woke up to the winters first snow. And I thought “I’m lucky I’m around to see this snow”

When Charlie cuddled close to me and let me tuck my arm around her for the first time ever, and I had my head buried in her fur I thought “what would’ve happened to my little cat if I had died at home and she was alone like that”

When I told my closest friend group what had happened I remembered that they once had a talk about me, a few years ago, where they were mentally preparing themselves for losing me and I thought “I’m letting them down and making them feel like that again” and I didn’t bother telling them not to worry about me because how could they not?

When my little brother called and asked why I hadn’t responded for days I lied and said I had just needed good rest. And I remembered how he got PTSD and severe substance abuse issues when our foster mom committed suicide in 2012. And how he would be so alone if I wasn’t around, how I would’ve abandoned him too and I’d never know if he was okay or not.

I remembered I would’ve missed out on Christmas Eve, and how the day after Christmas eve last year was the best day I had had I so long, just laying on mattresses on the floor with my nieces watching tv, our limbs entangled, our fingers in each others hair and sleeping on and off together with Disney movies playing in the background.

I thought of my family and friends at my funeral and I had to stop thinking.

And then I felt so much grief. Because no matter how much I love my life, I still feel like I wasn’t ever meant for being alive. No matter how much I fight, no matter how many good times I have, I’ll always be mentally ill. I’ll always have so much trauma weighing me down. I can’t promise this will never happen again. I’ll always have to toe the line between keeping myself in check and being undeniably sick.

I get better. And then I get worse. Then I fight my way back and feel better. And then I get bad again. And it’s been like that for 15 years.

“I’m getting tired even for a phoenix; always rising from the ashes, mending all her gashes, you might just have dealt the final blow”

It’s strange and incredibly heartbreaking to be so in love with my life, but not thinking I should actually be alive.

I’m not actively suicidal. But I’m also feeling like that’s how I’ll die, tomorrow or in 20 years.

Charlie has come up to me for kisses right now. She’s too intelligent for an orange cat. I love her dearly.

I’ve been trying to process all of this. It’s scary. It hurts. It’s confusing. It makes me want my mom but I don’t have a mom. I’ve never had a real mom. Just pain from the people who had that real role.

That’s a pain like nothing I can explain. Feeling like a little kid, missing something so intensely, but not knowing why cause I’ve never felt like I had that, I can’t put a face to it, a scent to it, a memory to it, a real feeling to it. But it doesn’t stop the longing from saturating me.

I have so many incredible, loving and supportive people in my life. I’m rich on people. But the real deep feelings I always take care of myself. I’m best at taking in love when I’m okay. The bad stuff can only go away when I tough it out or daydream of being loved.

And why daydream of being loved to pieces like I’m not? Because I am. I can think of maybe 40 or 50 people who would be heartbroken that I’m gone. There’s so so many people in this world who can’t even think of 1. I’m devastatingly lucky in that sense, like I can’t even believe. I don’t feel lonely. I’m never more than a text or a phone call from so many people who would drop everything to help. But I rarely ask for help with anything emotional unless I’m piss drunk. Call it foster kid damage. But that’s an entirely different subject.

So. Truth is I could’ve very well died. And I can’t even remember why.

It’s almost Christmas, almost new years. And I feel horrible and relived at the same time. And doomed. More than anything, I feel doomed.

What happens now? Who am I now? Why does it feel like something important has shifted that I can’t define?

I want to live. But something in me has already given up.

[wynniewright]

Secret Santa (Drabble)

→  This piece is a part of the Secret Santa event hosted by @bwcsecretsanta and was created for @n8dlesoupguk

→ Rating: PG-13

→ Pairing: Yoongi x Reader

→ WC: 2.4k

→ Genre: secret santa au

→ Summary: When you pick Yoongi’s name for the dreaded secret santa event at work, things didn’t go exactly as you expected them to.

→ Warnings: much fluff, some mild vulgar language (I tried very hard not to use the f word)

AN: Okay, it’s 4am and I don’t have the mental capacity to do tags and the proper set-up into the story so I did the absolute bare minimum until I’m awake and actually able to process what the hell is going on. AS MENTIONED ABOVE, it’s a secret santa piece for my dear @n8dlesoupguk. I’m sorry this piece took so long to get out but I hope you enjoy it, even if it is a little on the drabble side. Thank you for letting me be your secret santa and I hope you had a wonderful holiday season.~ <3 

PS: Sorry I forced you to wait until the last possible moment and thank you for your patience love!

It’s official. You were officially the worst secret santa in the history of secret santas and honestly, even that was giving yourself too much credit. You could barely call yourself a secret santa. The qualifications were somewhat loose, being that all you had to do was fill in a gift card for your own secret santa to receive while you received one from a co-worker. 

If you were honest with yourself, you wouldn’t have even signed up if you didn’t think your manager, Seokjin, wasn’t looking over your shoulder. Sure, he said it was optional, but you were looking forward to a promotion to serving role so that you didn’t have to bus tables anymore. If getting on Jin’s good side meant you had to participate in some cheesy holiday event for work then that’s exactly what you were going to do.

You couldn’t even blame your poor time management skills on your strict manager, since he specifically told every staff member the rules:

Gifts cannot go oer the $30 budget

Gifts must be ready for the exchange on the morning of the 24th

That was easy enough, right? Whoever’s name you pulled, you could’ve gotten away with buying them a candle or maybe some fuzzy socks and a sheet mask. It was supposed to be easy. But instead of ease, panic set in the moment you opened your locker and realized whose secret santa you were.

Min Yoongi.

Out of the twenty-something other employees at the restaurant, you managed to pick THE Min Yoongi. How? You wished you knew. 

Pulling his name from the hat wasn’t horrible because it was him, in fact, if you actually cared about the work festivities, you would’ve jumped for joy and screeched into your pillow the moment you got home. But you didn’t care about the exchange and had no plans to put any thought into a personalized gift for the recipient. Hell, by the time you actually bothered to take a peek at the name was nearly 72 hours before the exchange. That’s exactly why you were at the mall before your shift, less than 24 hours until the gift exchange in front of the other staff, in search for a suitable gift for the cute boy.

No pressure, right?

You tossed out your idea of fuzzy socks and body care products and immediately headed to the mom-and-pop candle store in search of fall-scented candles. There should’ve been more space for additional details because, c’mon, how many fall candles existed? Since it was the day before Christmas Eve, you expected to have plenty of options with fall scents - but not as many as there were.

It was understatement to say that there were plenty of options when the entire store was just one massive cloud of the perfect holiday fragrances, cinnamon and apple wafting right out the doors and flooding your nostrils before you even stepped into the place.

It took a whole hour for you to test all of the scents, a bulk of the time wasted on debating whether or not Yoongi was the Christmas cookie type, or if he’d like Apple Pumpkin or even Holiday Hearth, whatever that was. After the first 10 minutes of sniffing, all the candles started to blend together and smell the same as the one before it, leaving you defeated.

Shortly after leaving, there was a brief moment where you thought about checking out another store for some candles, but considering your nose was fried with all those powerful scents, you didn’t think you could sniff another freaking candle without losing your sense of smell. Perhaps the beanie on his list would’ve been an easier find.

Boy, were you wrong.

After shopping at three different department stores, you came to the conclusion that trying to find a beanie during the peak of the winter season was an even worse idea than the candles. You knew better than to waste time looking for one of the most popular items for the season so you weren’t sure why it was a shock to you when you couldn’t get your hands on one. The last item on his wishlist was sour watermelon gummies and although those sounded like a decent idea for a multi-item gift, there was no way you would give him a $30 bag of candy. 

With slumped shoulders and a pout, you decided to head into Guitar Center with less than a half an hour until the start of your shift. You didn’t know what to look for, only that you needed to find something budget-friendly that Yoongi would definitely take a liking to. The only possible solution was to give him a sad $30 gift card and call it a day, huffing your way across the mall to where the restaurant was located on the other side.

Technically, a gift card to Guitar Center was the perfect gift for Yoongi. There was a level of passion in which Yoongi spoke about his instruments, talking about music as if it were alive. That’s exactly why you couldn’t screw up the gift by getting him a gift card, right? Even if it was $30, that money could’ve gone towards something he wanted to buy in the future and even if it wasn’t much, you were sure he would still love it.

With a little newfound confidence, you strode through the open doorway and greeted your longtime friend, Jeongguk who stood behind the host desk, scribbling onto something you couldn’t see. 

“Hey, Gukie,” you offered a friendly wave, catching his friendly grin and returning it with one of your own.

“Y/N! I can’t believe you came in today,” he said, maneuvering his way around the desk to wrap his arms tightly around your shoulders. “Did you manage to find something good?” He whispered in your ear and you couldn’t help the sigh that pressed through your lips. 

You grumbled, “I got him a gift card?” 

His almond eyes rounded out, widening as if you had another head sprouting from your shoulder. “You totally forgot rule three.”

“Rule three?”

You thought back to Jin giving everyone a mini lecture on what was allowed to be given as a gift, running through rules one and two but ultimately coming to a blank.

Jeongguk brushed his lean fingers through his perfectly styled hair, causing some strands to fall in his face before he ruffled the locks in the back. “Rule number three, no gift cards or restaurant merch.” He deadpanned.

The moment those words left his lips, your mind flashed back to your manager saying those exact words and nearly lost your shit right as Yoongi and one of his best pals, Hoseok, strolled on in. 

“Are you fu-”

“-oh, hey, Y/N.” Yoongi flashed his signature gummy smile, reserved but enough to break some hearts as they stopped right by the two of you.

Your heart sank with the realization that you somehow managed to become an even worse secret santa than you managed before, which honestly would be an achievement for you if it wasn’t for the fact that Min-freaking-Yoongi was going to the one disappointed in you.

“Hey, Yoongi,” you gave a half-hearted wave, trying your best to put on a smile while knowing full-well that it was flat and obviously painful. He passed by after a quick “it’s nice to see you again” and headed to the lockers in the back. 

Jeongguk watched the interaction and kept looking between the two of you as Yoongi walked further away, letting out a short whistle with a shake of his head. 

“You, my friend, are absolutely screwed.”

-----

You didn’t know exactly what you were thinking. A gift card? A freaking gift card? Seriously, how lame is that? People probably wrote poems about their recipient, shopped tirelessly for their favorite things until they were sure they were going to give the best gift a secret santa could give and there you were with a tiny, half-assed gift card that didn’t amount to anything nearly important enough and hoping that would suffice. 

You were disappointed in yourself. Sure, maybe time slipped by a bit too fast and left you with the last possible moment. Perhaps you could have blamed the sudden incline in hours after an excellent food critique brought an even larger crowd, telling him that’s why you didn’t have time to get something - anything - better. But that was just it. You couldn’t tell Yoongi that you didn’t care enough to buy a gift for anyone until you realized it was him. No way.

Feeling badly about the decision to get him a gift card, you managed to find a pair of fuzzy black socks - even though the color he put for his favorite was green but you knew that a majority of his closet was black - and a small, autumn-scented candle that anyone would enjoy with it’s subtle flair. You stuck those in the bag with the gift card, ultimately choosing to give both gifts despite them collectively doubling the budget. 

To say that nerves were getting to you wasn’t even the half of it. Your leg wouldn’t stop bouncing as each person around the circle was called to stand up and find the receiver of their gifts to hand them their early Christmas presents. The closer it got to you, the worse the bounding became, practically jumping up and down with every pull of your leg until you smacked it against your neighbor when they returned to their seat after their exchange.

“Alright, next is Y/N,” Seokjin clapped happily. You wished his positivity would’ve rubbed off on you and given you the strength to look Yoongi in the eye and hand him the monstrosity of a gift that you gave him. 

You pushed yourself up from the chair and and walked over to the other side, knees wobbling and hands growing slick as you neared Yoongi’s seat. With a deep breath, you extended the small bag his way and immediately ducked your head down when he took it, flying back to your seat on the opposite side and avoiding his gaze. 

It felt like hours going through everyone’s secret santa gift and you were too happy when Seokjin didn’t require us to open our presents in front of everyone. Presents were personal, right? Nobody wants to be exposed like that. 

You would’ve dipped on out of there as soon as the gift exchange ended but the nagging guilt forced you to make your way over to where Yoongi and Jeongguk were casually chatting. When you reached them, they both looked up at you with each of their own expressions: Yoongi’s eyes were dark yet curious as to what you wanted whereas Jeongguk knew exactly what was about to go down. 

“I’m actually going to catch Syd before she leaves. I’ll be right back,” he excused himself and made his exit, turning around the moment he was behind Yoongi to give you a supportive thumbs up. 

“Ah, right. I wanted to thank you for your gift, by the way. I really like the candle and I’m kinda digging the fuzzy socks so thanks.” Yoongi flicked his head to the side, pushing his dark hair out of his face as he smiled that heart-melting smile. 

“Actually, I wanted to talk to you about that.” You nibbled on your lip.

How were you supposed to go about this? Was it something you had to sort of dance around and hope he’d understand or something you have to tell straight up? While neither answer seemed desirable, there was nothing more terrifying than the thought of having to say, “I bought you what I was going to buy for anyone else that was my secret santa”. 

“The gifts?” Yoongi raised a brow, no doubt confused with the way you were taking things.

“Yeah,” you puffed out. “Is there any way I could give you something else? I was the worst and I waited to go shopping and the things on your list weren’t available no matter where I looked. I would say I tried but I don’t even feel like I did… I’m so sorry for being so stupid, I can’t believe I actually got you th-”. 

“-I don’t want anything else, though. I already have more than enough.” He stuck his lip out, his cheeks puffing out as if he were a child being rejected for some sweets. 

“I don’t think you understand. I really messed this up and I’m so embarrassed,” you pushed further, lowering your head into your hands with a groan. 

Yoongi was silent, thoughtfully watching you have a meltdown in your seat as he contemplated his next response. “And if I said there was something?” He asked.

“It’s yours.”

In a blink of an eye, Yoongi closed the space between the two of you, lips crashing into yours in a gentle yet exploratory kiss. Fireworks shot off somewhere in the back of your mind as you shut your eyes and grazed his cheek with your thumb. The kiss didn’t last nearly as long as you wanted it to, but it took your breath away regardless. The last of him still lingered on your lips as you opened your eyes, cheeks flushed and eyes wide as you took in the situation.

Min Yoongi just kissed you.

THE Min Yoongi just kissed YOU.

“What was that for?” you murmured under your breath, almost as if you wanted an answer but didn’t even want him to hear the question. 

He hummed, a playful glint in his eye as he gave a shrug. “You said I could have something I wanted in return. That’s what I wanted.”

His words warmed your heart and turned you into a giggling mess, leaving you hiding behind your purse with nothing but your eyes peeking over the top. 

“You’re serious? You’re not serious, no way.” You spoke half to yourself and half to him, still processing the feeling of his soft lips against yours. 

“I’m serious. In fact, if you want to go even further to make it up to me, let me take you to dinner next Friday.” He stuck out a hand between your two bodies, the offer laying right there in front of you while you still couldn’t believe what was happening.

You gripped his hand as quickly as possible and bounced in your seat, beaming with excitement as he matched your enthusiasm. “Yes! I mean,” you coughed. “Absolutely, yes. I’d love to.” You grinned.

Little did you know that being the worst secret santa in history would lead you to give Min Yoongi exactly what he wished for: you.

[axemetaphor]

im definitely not ripping off my friend by making a list of au ideas i have no siree //gonna slap this under a readmore cause i. well i say a lot. all of the time. i tried so hard to format this Good but tumblr fucked me up i am so sorry

so first-off i know i already have one WIP AU (Auckland) on ao3 so i wont talk about That one cause like. spoilers. i actualyl have it like 80% created so its likely gonna truly get finished for once and i dont wanna ruin shit

the other one ive posted about is something me and ben (catgirlrepublic) have worked on together its not at all close to done or anything but it's. a fun little crossover. Between jdate and my fuckinuhm. Original characters story “Untitled Villains Project”. the sketches of the comic version ive started is actually my pinned post 👉👈 its like the first chunk of the story, i think half of part 1? yea.

Tldr john fucking Somehow is able t oget into contact with a certain curious scientist from another reality who’d just love to study the Soy Sauce, most certainly not for her own nefarious purposes

John and Dave meet up with the scientist, her name is Boss, and her lab assistant, Toxic, and after a bit of a preliminary Vibe Check where john determines her trustworthy (which Dave doesnt agree with,) the two agree to be taken to the world UVP is set in. from there they stay in Boss’s lab (big old fucking abandoned military lab). John and Toxic are fast friends due to mutual love-of-chaos. John n Dave get to fuckin, camp out on an air mattress.

The day after they arrive, the two get split up, not exactly intentionally; big plot points of UVP are liek. Fueled by Boss sending Toxic to go fetch her “research materials,” which are usually important artifacts

Fuckin side note i guess i have to explain my dumb bullshit: Boss’s, uh, field of expertise so to speak is actually fckin, basically the scientific study of magic and superpowers n shit like that. This shit’s all real in that world. Toxic’s got fuckin superpowers, so do 4 other main characters, whatever. It’s got a bit to do with spirituality, iss Boss’s hypothesis. So she has Toxic fetch important artifacts that might have “energies” to them. The thing is actually way more fuckin complictated than that, this is just Boss’s initial hypothesis.

Motherfucking anyways. So Boss gives Toxic a job to do, and John get excited about how Cool that sounds, and ends up going with Toxic, leaving Boss and Dave alone. Neither is thrilled about this. But Dave and Boss get to have a bit of conversation (while Toxic and John are off bonding and having a good time) and come to a… mutual grudging understanding of some kind. They still dont like each other though lmao

Theres gonna be deeper shit going on but we havent sorted it out yet/tbh havent like Written For It in a while but i still like thinking about it a lot lol

Also pretty sure our endgame is john and dave steal toxic and bring them back with em lmao boss is kind of not nice and toxic would most certainly be better off in Undisclosed. Actually theyd fucking love it. Theyd become a local cryptid im sure. Undisclosed’s mothman is a teleporting spike baby.

I have. Another crossover AU that i might. Post something about for halloween? Maybe? If i have it finished?

Crosses over into, you guessed it, another one of my original-character projects. God, am i vain or something?

I promise this is just because i think blue and dave should get to team up to beat up some monsters

Quick briefing on my fuckinuh. Original character story, this one doesnt have a name (yet? Idk lol my work never actually goes anywhere sso who gives a shit). It centers around two grim reapers, Red (26, bi woman) and Blue (22, aroace agender asshole). In this reality or whatever, grim reapers function kind of like low-level office workers. They get told who’s going to die + when by some middle-management types, and upper management only involve themselves when punishment needs to be doled out. These Higher-Ups can be seen as analogous to Korrok; they’re decidedly not human, never were, and fucking terrifyingly powerful. Additionally, grim reapers are sort of .. designed to be “background noise” people. In reality theyre supernatural beings and, uh, look Real Fuckin Weird (the whole deal has a neon aesthetic im terrible at drawing uwu) but most humans just perceive them like extras in a movie. A body’s there but the camera’s not focused on it.

To the narrative: the shit starts when Red n Blue get relocated to Undisclosed. Relocation is something that just happens every now and then to reapers; they usually work in teams, but they get split up into different cities to avoid any strong bonds forming (a counter-union strategy from the Higher-Ups).

Red, Blue, John and Dave end up running into each other for the first time in a McDonalds where John n Dave are getting some 4am “hey, we just survived another horrific monster fight” celebration burgers. John and Dave are the only two people who can see how… strange Red and Blue are. Nobody else notices.

John unintentionally pisses Blue off, leading to Blue whacking him upside the head with a dildo bat. They all four get kicked out of McDonald’s. Dave and Red both are less than thrilled

Blue and John end up resolving their differences, somehow. Red and Dave briefly bond over their dumbass best friends being, well, dumbasses. They all part ways amicably.

somehow-or-other (idk yet) they end up running into each other a few more times, and eventually john invites them over to his place, and the four (plus Amy now!) get to know each other a little better

while there, Blue gets a text about some guy who's gonna die and John offers to drive them to where that's gonna go down. they take him up on the offer and get to have a bit of one-on-one conversation

after that ordeal though Blue has had Enough of people and bails, leaving John to head home alone

theres a sort of mirror-development going on with the five of em. Red, John, and Amy would all like everyone to get along, though theyre a bit tentative about it (John moreso than the other two, actually, jsut cause. well Red n Blue could still be Sauce Monsters). Dave and Blue on the other hand do Not like people enough for this shit, and Dave's not unconvinced theyre Sauce Monsters. he will not trust them until proven he should

the story's kinda nebulous but i got an idea for some Shit going down that involves both Sauce Monsters and also the Higher-Ups to have some fuckin absolute chaos go down.

Oops! All Trans

Everybody is transgender. Everyone

Ive actually workshopped this one both with ben (catgirlrepublic) and ghost (ghost-wannabe) lmao its a fun lil concept ive had from the get-go cause i mean. What’s an internet tran gonna do other than hit all their favourite media with the Everyone’s Trans beam

Dave transitioned post-high school and faked his death for it. People go missing in Undisclosed all the damned time, after all. He moved to the next city over, transitioned fully, then came back as a completely new man. Yes i know this doesnt exactly fit with the “everyone knows David from high school” thing alright, hush.

Anytime anyone brings up John’s old best friend (pre-transition Dave) John throws an entire fit like an overdramatic grieving widow. Full-on sobbing “why would you bring her up?! I miss her so much—” to the point that people just stop bringing up because Jesus Christ That Sure Is Uncomfortable KJHGFDS.

This is a scheme he and Dave came up with prior to Dave leaving, though Dave hadnt exactly anticipated John putting on this much of a performance about it— but it’s stopped Dave from ever having tto hear his deadname again, so hey.

Amy transitioned sometime in middle school/early high school. Her family was super supportive and loved her a ton and most people just know her as Amy. she was super shy her whole life really so. Yeah. people just dont think to bring it up lmao also i Feel Like big jim would absolutely wallop anyone who gave her trouble of any kind

John’s nonbinary (genderfluid specifically) and not exactly Interested in transitioning ? like hes fine with how he is. mostly.

he came out to Dave in high school but hes not out to anyone else exactly. Maybe his bandmates. Probably any other trans person in Undisclosed knows, too, cause theyre safe to tell lmao. Johns mostly a “he/him out of convenience” kinda nb who’s cool with any pronouns but does prefer they/them most. Dave and Amy use they/them when the trio are alone

Also this is a totally self-indulgent caveat that i think would be great, Dave’s actually agender but because he's transmasc and transitioned when he thought there were really only two options, and being Boy at least felt less weird than being Girl, he just kind of assumed he was a dude. It’s only through a lot of (like fucking years and years hes probably in his 30s/40s when he puts 2 and 2 together on this one) talks about gender with John that he realizes he actually feels like No Gender. Masc aesthetic with none gender.

I Just Think It’d Be Neat Is All Okay

Also Amy came out to Dave about being trans early on in them seeing each other and his response was to get very nervous before blurting out “me too” and then just being too embarrassed to talk about it for the rest of the day. Hes got a lot of hangups on talking about it actually it takes years for him to get comfortable in that

by contrast when Amy comes out to John about it his response is to yell “EYYY ME TOO” and give her a big ol hug lmao

I think itd be neatt if Amy ran a like. Transfem help/advice blog on tumblr. Kind of helped-with by John who can give her transfem nb insight for certain asks. I also just think that would be neat.

Cowboy AU - i put this one last cause its got drawings to it actually. Theyll be at the bottom

Basically just. Hey you ever watched a western. I think they look neat

This is another one me n ben have come up with lol

The soy sauce and all that shit still exist, im not sure where korrok fits in yet but ill figure it out

Theres no real like solid narrative yet ? but heres the barebones of everybody’s arcs.

John

Johns an absolute troublemaker, Of Course. Hes wanted in several towns for absolutely stupid shit. Hes a loner who shows up, causes chaos, gets drunk, does some drugs, runs away if people get too mad at him

He definitely had the same kind of deal with the soy sauce as in canon— he was at some kind of party, somebody offered it, he took it cause why the fuck wouldnt he, now he can see monsters and shit

Hes kind of a mooch also. Like. dont let him stay in your barn man he’ll never fucking leave and drink all your booze.

He runs into Dave when they happen to just, cross paths in the same town. the bullshit John stirs up ends up involving Dave in a way that makes it seem like it's his fault too, and they both get run out of town

after that he just tags along after Dave. hes decided this guy's Cool he wants to stick around. Dave is pissed at first, but not enough to shoot him or anything, and eventually, John grows on him

Dave

Dave also is a loner but unlike John hes simply so fucking awkward and bad with people. He doesnt feel like he belongs anywhere so he just travels

He’s the stereotypical Lone Ranger tbh. He wanders from town to town, solving their problems, though hed deny its out of any moral obligation (it kinda is, a little bit, tbh. He does like feeling useful). He shows up, fixes things, leaves. He's kind of a legend but most people think he's hiding something dark. other people jsut know him as that guy who farted real loud in the middle of the saloon and promptly skipped town out of sheer embarrassment. you know how it goes with Dave

He ends up involved with the Soy Sauce when a snake (not Actually a snake,) bites him. The snake’s more like the wig-monsters, really. Anyway, it injects him with the soy sauce, he fucking trips balls in the middle of the desert, he can see monsters now

He runs into John and shit goes tits-up, as said, but they become traveling buddies after that. he'd never say so, but he's glad for the company, actually. it's nice. hes not used to companionship but he feels a strange kind of easiness hanging out with John....

not sure how the Monster Dave concept will like fit in to this reality but like. trust me i want it in here. I'll Figure It Out.

Amy

Amy’s been living in a town John and Dave end up passing through and she is very curious about these two new Handsome Strangers who claim to fight monsters and just kinda. Persistently tags along til they let her join for real

Her family’s all dead, unfortunately, just like in canon, and she’s been living alone for a few years before meeting John n Dave. she had nothing left in that town to stay for, she'd been fantasizing about escaping on wild adventures for a long time and this felt a little like a dream come true. (Dave still gives her a spiel about how Difficult it is, but really, her fantasies were pretty grounded-in-reality already. i jsut think thats how she is, yknow?)

Shes the first person to react to the whole “we see monsters” shit with a kind of “oh, okay. neat” kind of response lmao

John and Dave fix whatever the fuck is up with her town (maybe that’s where the Korrok shit can fit, who knows) and Amy ends up being integral to that. After, she insists they take her with them because “they need her now” and Dave just cant really say no. John too is very much "the more the merrier!" and hes actually glad to have another person along he loves people lmao

At the start she has long hair but after she joins them she chops it short with a knife for convenience

also she still is an amputee. justt. idk. it was a wagon/stagecoach accident rather than a car accident lmao. just to clarify since i hadnt mentioned it, i wouldnt rob her of her ghost hand or yknow. all of the significance to her character that Missing A Hand has. although also now im going to have to research what was used as painkillers way-back-when, but im betting shes still got, like, her pain pills, they probably had those, maybe i wouldnt have to try too hard there. old timey medicine could be WACK though,

Shitload

Yeah hes in tthis shit mostly cause i liked designing his cowboy self lmao

Hes a kid (like 16, 17, technically i think in those days that was more Young Man than Kid but whatever. Hes Young i mean.) who got possessed by the Worms out in the desert and, by his family’s perception, just went missing!

Hes also a wanderer, but he ended up at the same town john and dave met in, at that same time, and starts following them after, already aware of who/what they are.

He keeps his face covered 24/7. actually he covers a Majority of his self for reasons. kinda want him to be a slightly more horrifying Worm Entity rather than human idk,

I kinda dont have much for this boy yet sorry Shitload

images !

with some editing notes for me cause im doing a very specific aesthetic with this lmao. i might change some lil details/colours though ...... idk

im also kinda 🤔 about shitload's colour palette. i want things assoicated w the sauce to be black'n'red predominantly but i think his palette might mirror dave's too closely. also im working on a korrok design i jsut am too busy to draw it now

[worstloki]

Part 3

Fury: I cannot believe the Avengers No. 1 unattainable criminal right now is a seventeen-year-old twink Clint: I can’t believe you’re calling Loki a twink Tony: I can’t believe he's been the legal godparent of kids his own age for months and I didn't realise Steve: You didn’t get him removed? I thought you made Rhodey their legal godparents instead?? Tony: nah I removed Thor Natasha: ?? why would anyone do that ?? Fury, having a breakdown: we nearly lost New York and the entire world to a 16-year-old twink with daddy issues Clint: yoU just did it aGAIN- Tony, the only actual Avenger who knows Loki isn’t actually evil™: heY! Daddy issues are a serious thing! Don’t make fun of the guy for having a crisis and finding out his life was a lie and he’d faced over a millennium of abusive environment for nothing!  Avengers: are you… defending Loki… the megalomaniac WAR CRIMINAL who turned every SHIELD facility into ice cream earlier today…? Tony, hands up in surrender: I’m saying maybe we shouldn’t be so quick to judge the guy. I wouldn't be able to guess what but maybe he had an ulterior reason for the New York fiasco? His normal stuff is usually harmless.  Avengers: ... Tony: What? It could’ve been much worse. Strange, rolling his eyes: Yes, at least it wasn’t Stark Raving Hazelnuts Loki, who has been standing at the back listening to the entire conversation: That flavour is way too chalky to suit SHIELD anyways [everyone turns to Loki with their weapons ready, except Tony of course] Loki, raising his hands in surrender: what? A Hunka-Hulka Burning Fudge is way better, and its green, and for some reason they didn’t have a Loki flavour so that was the next best option-

---

Loki: hey Morgan what would you say if i offered you an officially evil part-time job with decent pay and extremely good evil workplace benefits? Morgan: do you offer evil dental? Loki: of course?? we also have A-Grade coffee 24/7 because top class extremely good evil deserves only the best Morgan: Excellent! I look forward to working with your evil team and being a part of your nefarious schemes and plots in future Loki: Thank you. Tomorrow we replace all Tony's vehicles with incredibly realistic wax models. Morgan: ...including the jets? Loki, scoffing: what kind of amateur villains would we be if we left his jets, boats, bikes and single vintage helicopter untouched Tony: its 4am can you maybe not have this conversation right next to me in my own workshop?!

---

Tony: I THOUGHT YOU SAID YOU WOULD REPLACE THEM WITH WAX MODELS Morgan: What kind of low-grade predictable villainous evil doers would we be if we did what we said we would Tony: oh $#!^ now you're speaking like him too Loki, cutting his shoulder to reveal cake: Just so you know, it wasn’t JUST the vehicles ;)

---

Peter: *following loki around with a notepad* Loki: Terribly sorry if you mind but he's MY intern now. Tony: You don’t think there’s anything wrong with what you’re doing, do you? Loki: I don’t think anything I’ve ever done is wrong Peter:  *avidly taking notes and nodding along*

---

T’challa: I cant believe you filed an application for ‘time off’ Shuri: I NEED at least 3 hours a week reserved specifically for training if I want to keep my part-time job T’challa: you don’t NEED a job! You make up 90% of Wakanda’s research and development departments! Your technology work IS a job! Shuri: yeah well my ACTUAL job is fun and has proper work benefits and I simply must empty the time blocks I specified for it! You wouldn’t stop me from meeting with Peter and Morgan would you? They ARE, legally and spiritually speaking, my siblings, brother :) T’challa: what job could you have that would need you reminding me that a mischief deity adopted you before telling me what the job actually is Shuri: The official position is called Secretary of Evil but that’s only for the probationary 2 week period and I’m allowed to request a name change if I think of anything better T’challa: T’challa: you are working as a SECRETARY?! Shuri: The job pays well, Brother, T'challa:  T'challa: mother will be so disappointed

---

Scott: I can’t believe you did that Maggie: I didn’t know he was a supervillain! OBVIOUSLY! Scott: how would you noT KNOW! He wears nothing buT LEATHER and BELTS and GREEN BOOTS AND- Maggie: I needed someone to watch her and she showed up in pink sweatpants and a black tank top and was charging a decent rate Scott: Scott: are you sure their name was loki

---

Clint: you told me it was a ‘family gathering’! Tony: yeah, it is, and the avengers are family Clint, pointing at Loki: so what’s the twink doing here and why are MY kids along with every other person here who is under drinking age clinging to him like a frickin’ koala bear Tony: morgan wanted to get her ‘the floor is lava’ badge and loki was the only one immune to the lava so they jumped him - and he enjoyed walking around covered in them way more than he should have -  and also loki is legally peter and morgan and harley and shuri’s godparent so he’s allowed to be here on more of a basis than anyone else here at this point Clint: There was LAVA near MY KIDS?! Tony: no of course not – it was FAKE lava that just looked and functioned like real lava Clint: im taking them all home Tony: good luck convincing them not to want another playdate Clint: this isn’t a joke Tony Tony: I’m serious. Good luck. The kids love him, and you’ll need all the luck you can get if you want them to ever root for the side of good instead of wherever-loki-is-at instead. 

---

Pepper: *watching the news* Pepper: oh hey the Avengers are on Peter, running into the room: woW NICE Pepper: wtf why is Hulk wearing giant boxing gloves Peter: Language! Pepper: is Steve's shield padded?! Peter: i don’t remember that being normal Pepper: did most of the Avengers just ditch Steve? Why’re they leaving Peter: I guess the danger must be over? Pepper: WHAT is going ON out there today Peter: I think Loki had planned an attack today so maybe he did it as a joke Pepper: oh they're facing Loki yeah okay that explains it Peter: Loki always does the funniest things of course he baby-proofed all the Avenger's gear! Classic Loki! :D

-meanwhile-

Captain America, tears streaming down his face: pl,,ease, loki,, stop,t his, I cant hit ,,a child Loki: Look at you, the American icon, unable to save all these innocent people from having their skin turn into primary colours, all because you are TOO AFRAID to fight me! Captain America: I’m a national icon, not a good soldier but a good man, I will do whatever it takes to keep innocents safe, but I can NOT beat up someone who isn’t even legal enough to vote Loki: I was around causing chaos before this ‘voting’ was even invented! And I’ll NEVER legally vote even if I could!! mwahahAHAHA- Falcon, to Bucky in the background: How did we not realise he was a teen, all his comebacks are ‘no u’ and ‘uno reverse card’ and ‘look over there!’ Bucky, to Falcon: I don’t know but I really really want to know where he gets his outfits from Falcon: if it means I’ll be seeing you geared up in leather again then I want to know where he gets his outfits from too ;‘) Thor: I think my brother makes his own outfits Loki, still tormenting Captain America: *SISTER Thor: ah, my bad Captain America, crying x2: wait does this mean I’ve been lobbing my shield at not just a child, but I’ve been misgendering them while doing it?! Loki: only occasionally and I don’t blame you that was on me for monologuing too long, really— Captain America, taking off the helmet: nope I’m done Loki: what are you doing Steve, handing Sam the shield: It’s yours. Enjoy. Sam: woah woah woah what’re you doing you cant retire just like that  Steve, unzipping his suit to reveal American flag boxers: watch me Bucky to Sam: hello new best friend Sam, realising that Cap and Bucky are a duo: oh no no no STEVE is your best friend Bucky: he hasn’t been my ‘best friend’ since I saw him with the American flag splayed over his butt Loki, holding his hand out for Sam to shake: Hello there new Captain America its nice to meet you formally, my name is Loki and yes I’m a child but I’m actually 1075 but that is irrelevant if I’m causing trouble and looking for a fight, I’m also genderfluid so yes sometimes my pronouns will be different but I’ll be sure to inform you if it happens Sam: what are you doing Loki: I’m… formally introducing myself Sam: Sam: why?? Loki, blinking to hide that he’s getting teary eyed: well, the last national icon I didn’t do this with ditched me because I didn’t Bucky, a trained assassin, who isn’t a fool: *hugs loki* that wasn’t your fault steve just likes to carry the stupid with him Loki: thanks Bucky: is this a bad time to ask where you get your clothes from…? Loki: I make them Bucky: oh. Well $#!^. Loki, sniffing: if you join the dark side I’ll make you some too Bucky, immediately: done. Sam: JAmES Bucky deadpan: Yes, Samuel, what is it that troubles you, my new arch nemesis? 

---

Sam: HE TOOK BUCKY Natasha: What do you mean ‘he took bucky’ he’s standing right next to you Sam: He’s “infiltrating the enemy” Natasha: *lifts an eyebrow and looks to Bucky* Bucky: It’s true. My loyalties lie elsewhere now. Natasha: ??? Bucky: note to self – unexpected outcomes confuse the black widow. Natasha: how did this happen?? Sam: he SOLD himself out to the ENEMY Natasha: well when you say it like THAT ;) — Bucky: I think friendship is a decent price to pay for decent clothing Natasha: ??? Sam: oh also I’m Captain America now because Steve broke down and quit Natasha: ?!?!?!

---

Peter, entering the room and high-fiving Loki: I heard you got Mr. Bucky to switch teams! Loki: well, my fashion skills ARE legendary Tony, under his breath: he’s not even trying and he’s gotten every kid and the freaking winter soldier on his side and I am so so grateful he isn’t actually TRYING to make everyone go bad

---

Bucky: we’ve been over this Steve, Loki is young but he’s also over a thousand years old Steve: I was beating up a KID, Bucky, a kid who was SMALLER and WEAKER than everyone else where he lived but wouldn’t EVER turn down a FIGHT for what he BELIEVES IN and he was probably BULLIED and I wanted the guy DEAD, Bucky– Bucky: don’t forget the genderfluidity thing Steve: he said it wasn’t my fault but I should’ve asked Thor after he referred to Loki as ‘she’ instead of thinking he’d made a mistake and I just can’t – he isn’t even old enough to DRIVE or VOTE or DRINK or BUY A KNIFE or -- Bucky, holding Steve and patting his back: hey now, there, there, it’ll be okay, Bucky: *gives Loki a thumbs up as he sits on the couch with popcorn and watches Steve be miserable*

---

Loki: We need to get through this locked door. Tony, quick, give me your card! Tony, handing the card over: Take it! Loki, pocketing it: Thanks! Morgan, fire at the door Morgan: *pulls out an iron man gauntlet painted green and gold* Tony: hOW COULD you deface YOUR BIRTHDAY PRESENT with GREEN Morgan: MINE is still being used as a paperweight. This is one of YOUR gauntlets.   Tony, under his breath: maybe it’s not too late to burn the physical evidence and hack Loki’s name off the digital copies of the adoption forms Loki, whispering back: oh its definitely too late. I’m already on your christmas card and everything.

[ascalonianpicnic]

Hey man, I understand your frustration regarding that post, but I feel it was rather unkind to make a long-winded callout-like post in public response rather than approach the OP privately and discuss your feelings that way. I genuinely feel they didn't mean to come off as they did and hadn't intended to cause any insult further harm following derogative terminology as they had. I know some things need to be made aware publicly, but your response felt rather directive to the OP rather than people who are ignorant to such things as a whole.

you know dude? you're probably right. My tone last night was more aggressive than it probably needed to be, and also I failed to warn properly in my long winded rant of a post that the link I was including to that other post contained severely triggering wording and content. I'm gonna be honest, I was triggered stumbling across that post. I linked it to a trusted friend, and they were also deeply upset by the wording and phrasing. I wrote my rant, while kind of having a panic attack and breakdown in my kitchen at 4am. I was angry and it came across in that post, and it was directed at the entire gw2 fandom and tumblr as a whole because I regularly see minor ableism being just passed around haphazardly, and I regularly see posts about how having low empathy makes me and others like me somehow "less" and I am fucking sick of it.

So yeah, I snapped at someone who ended up being the straw who broke the camel's back. I snapped at them for claiming to be an expert in a diagnosis that I learned went out of fashion and was considered wrong and ableist to use way back in 2014. I snapped as two people continued to use a term that is scientifically unbacked and used to demonize mentally ill people. I snapped because the things they were saying are actively harmful and actively endanger mentally ill and neurodivergent people. The demonization of mental illness gets people killed. I was angry. I am angry. I could have handled that post better, but I didn't, because I was scared and I was angry, and I have a right to be angry at people who continue to willfully spread the idea that mental illness is what makes a person evil and dangerous.

commandertiffany is allowed to approach me in private to discuss this. Canid did approach me in private to talk things out, and things are fine there now, we both had a chance to learn a bit from each other. I don't have either of them blocked, my dms are open, my ask box is open, I'm always willing to have a civil private conversation. But I am also sick of seeing neurodivergent people thrown under the bus over and over, and someone who claims to be an expert really should have known better. So I am allowed to be angry in a post on my blog I didn't even tag and that I made so people would know I don't support the post below it. And yes, that anger was directed at someone specific demonizing mental illness, because I'm not angry at the people who didn't know, I'm angry at the person who should have known better and claims to but clearly doesn't

[slowly-writing]

Normal’s Boring

Natasha Romanoff x Daughter!Reader

Word Count:  2561

Part 2: Life Saver

a/n: This got really long, my bad. I hope you all enjoy it

Being a teenager living in the Avengers compound was a little weird. You constantly had Shield agents running in and out and there was always the fear of an attack. Maybe that was just the collective PTSD of your family, but they made sure you were always prepared. You learned how to fight and protect yourself at a young age, your mom was the Black Widow after all. The fact that you could take care of yourself didn’t change the fact that you essentially had half a dozen overprotective parents. They would all jump to protect you at the first sign of trouble. Having that many people living in one place made sure your life was never boring, that’s for sure.

“Hey, Uncle Tony!” You call as you walk into the compound after school.

“Hey, kid. How was school today?” Tony asks with a smile.

“Fine,” you say with a shrug, “schools boring, I could learn way more here.”

“C’mon, y/n. You need a well rounded education. You have to know more than just how to fight,” Tony argues.

“You guys could teach me! You and Uncle Bruce know way more about math and science than any of my teachers could ever dream of. Uncle Steve lived through all the stuff I’m learning in history right now! Did you know I learned about you guys last week? Do you know how embarrassing it is to have your mom be the topic of class? Everyone made fun of me for days! I stick out like a sore thumb!”

“I’m sorry kid, but that’s part of the experience. You gotta be around people your age sometimes.”

“Wanda’s practically my age! She’s only a few years older than me! She’d go to school with me if you all made her go,” you try and Tony shakes his head.

“This is a conversation you need to have with your mom,” he says, “I’m not getting in the middle of that fight.”

“Where is Mom, anyway?” You ask and Tony avoids eye contact.

“Last second mission, she should be back in a few days,” he explains with a sigh. Everyone knows how upset you get everytime she leaves. Not only is it frustrating that she disappears, you’re worried. You’ve lost track of all the times various members of your family have come back with injuries, some worse than others.

“Any idea where?” You ask and he shakes his head.

“That’s classified, kid. But I’m sure it’s fine. If it was big they wouldn’t have sent her in alone,” he says trying to calm you down.

“She’s alone?!” you yell and he winces.

“Okay, obviously shouldn’t have told you that. She’ll be okay, y/n. She’s the best there is. She always comes back. I promise it’ll be okay,” he says and you nod before silently leaving to go to your room.

This was the worst part of being an Avenger’s kid. Your mom disappeared constantly. You would never blame her for it, of course, she was saving lives. If it wasn’t for her missions she never would’ve adopted you

You were three years old living in Budapest with your family at the time. Hydra had popped up again and your town was caught in the cross hairs. It was chaos, people were down everywhere and buildings were on fire. You don’t remember very much, just being really scared and then suddenly Natasha and Clint were there. Natasha had taken you in her arms and gotten you to safety. You immediately felt safer in her arms. She brought you home with her, and the rest was history.

While her missions were important you couldn’t help but wish you could spend more time together. Growing up you were constantly thrown from Avenger to Avenger. Whoever was available to take care of you became the stand in parent for that week.

You shake your head softly and sit down behind your desk to start on homework.

~~~~

The next morning you were in a bad mood. Everyone was trying to help you out, but nobody quite knew your routine as well as your mom, you just wanted her to come home. Steve woke you up at 4am and you were halfway through getting ready before you realized you were going to be two hours early. You switched gears and got to train with him for a few hours though, which was fun. After a few hours you shower and start getting your stuff ready to go.

Clint had been trying to clean up yesterday and apparently moved your backpack to some mysterious location. You spent the better part of an hour searching the entire compound for it before you find it in Wanda’s room.

“I thought it was hers! You’re both teenagers. It’s hard to tell what belongs to who!” Clint argues and you roll your eyes.

“She doesn’t even go to school, Uncle Clint! Which is completely unfair by the way,” you say pointing at Wanda.

“That’s what you earn when you’re an Avenger,” she smirks and you glare.

“I’ve been here longer, I should be an Avenger by now,” you grumble, jumping on one foot trying to find your shoe.

“Here, y/n. I made you lunch,” Bruce says with a smile, handing you a paper bag.

“Thanks Uncle Bruce!” You say, pausing when you look in the bag. “Hey what kind of sandwich is this?”

“Peanut butter and jelly, why?” He asks and you grimmance as the entire room seems to stop.

“I can’t eat this.”

“Why not?” Bruce furrows his brow as Tony walks over.

“Peanut allergy, man. Are you trying to kill the kid?” Tony yells handing you a few bucks to buy lunch at school.

“Here, Wanda,” you call tossing her the bag. “A genuine school lunch, welcome to the real world.”

“Nobody tell Nat about the peanuts, she’ll flip!” Clint cuts in and you nod.

“Come on, y/n, you’re gonna miss the bus!” Steve calls and you glance at the clock.

“Uh, yeah that ship has sailed.”

“What? How? I woke you up three hours ago!” He yells and you raise your hands in surrender.

“Yell at Uncle Clint! He’s the one who hid my backpack!” you argue.

“Well why’d you leave it in the living room?”

“I’m in high school! That’s what high schoolers do! I guess I’ll just stay home today,” you try and you’re met with four simultanious eye rolls.

“Yeah right, your mom will kill us if we don’t get you to school,” Bruce says and you frown.

“Okay enough. Here, take a car,” Tony says tossing you a set of keys.

“Am I missing the part where somebody taught me to drive?” you ask looking at the keys in your hands.

“You’re seventeen! You don’t know how to drive?” Tony asks and you look around the room.

“Do you see the chaos that sprung from you guys trying to get me ready for school? Do you really think mom would’ve trusted any of you to teach me how to operate heavy machinery?”

“Why didn’t she teach you?” Bruce asks and you smile sadly.

“Do you see her here right now? She’s too busy,” you shrug and Tony sighs.

“Okay, come on. I’ll drive you,” he says leading you to the garage.

xxxxx

You sigh as you pull up to school. The expensive sports car doesn’t really help you blend in.

“Have a good day, kiddo” Tony calls after you as you head inside and you force a smile.

“Thanks, Uncle Tony.”

You can hear the whispers as you walk through the halls.

“How does she know Tony Stark?” a Sophomore whispers.

“That’s Black Widow’s kid! She, like, lives with the Avengers or something,” some Junior girl responds and you shove your hands in your pockets and hurry to class.

“Before we start today, I thought it’d be fun to discuss some more recent history. We’ll be discussing the battle of New York ,” your history teacher states and you sigh, trying to sink deeper into your seat, “Miss Romanoff, why don’t you give us a rundown of what you know.”

“An Asgardian brought an alien army down on New York. The Avengers fought him off,” you stated plainly. The teachers always called you out when it came to anything Avengers related, you hated the attention it brought.

“You must know more than that,” your teacher encouraged.

“Well yeah, my Mom and my Uncles kicked ass, but isn’t telling the class that your job?” you ask and your teacher glares.

“That’s very disrespectful Miss Romanoff. Do I need to call your Mother?”

“Like you’d have the courage to talk to her” You say with a huff, “you’d neve have get ahold of her anyway,” you grumble under your breath.

“Miss Romanoff! This is your last chance, would you like detention?” you know you’re right but you sigh.

“No, sir. I apologize.”

“Okay then, anyone else?”

“Sure made a hell of a mess in the city. It took the city months to rebuild,” a kid named Chad says and you glare.

“Let’s see you fight off an alien army! See how well you do!” You yell, slamming your hand on your desk. You can feel your face getting red.

“I’d at least-”

“Enough!” your teacher cuts you both off. “Battles always cause a mess. Look at any war in American history. Moving on, back to our discussion of World War Two”

“Your family fought in that one too. Maybe you’re the common denominator, Roamanoff,” Chad whispers from behind you and you clench your jaw, your teacher not hearing Chad’s comments.

xxxxx

“You sure are quiet without the teacher here to protect you, huh?” Chad says pushing you into the lockers, “where are your precious Avengers now?”

He punches you and goes to push you again. Your mom made you promise not to start fights when she started training you, but since he threw the first punch you have him on his back before he realizes what’s happening. He looks shocked and you roll your eyes, “I was raised by superheroes dipshit. Now run along and I won’t tell anyone how fast I had you pinned.”

He gets up rubbing the back of his head, he must’ve hit it when he fell. Your not too worried, it’s not like he can get any dumber. He looks at you over his shoulder as he practically runs down the hall. You straighten out your jacket and walk towards your next class.

xxxxxx

“Hey Uncle Steve? Can you help me with this?” you ask, walking into the living room.

“Sure, y/n. What’s your question?”

“I need to know what year Captain America started fighting during World War Two,” you say rolling your eyes.

“I’m part of your history homework?” he asks with a smirk and you nod.

“It’s kind of weird having to answer questions about my uncle for my homework.”

“I know kid, but hey, you have all the answers right here,” he teases and you smile.

“Helping my kid cheat, Rogers?” you hear from behind you and you jump up.

“Mom! You’re home!” you yell crashing into her arms, “Are you okay? How was the mission?”

“Yeah, sweetheart. It was fine, I’m okay.” She says holding you tight, “now what’s this I hear about cheating?”

“It’s not cheating, Mom!” You argue, “the questions are about him! I’m just cutting out the middleman!”

“You’re learning about your Uncle Steve in school?” your mom asks, her brow furrowed, and you nod.

“I learn about all of you,” you tilt your head, “did you guys not realize that? We talked about the battle of New York today. Almost got me sent to the office,” you grumble, crossing your arms.

“What was that?” your Mom raises an eyebrow.

“My teacher wanted me to tell everyone about it! Just because you fought in it! I’m not the teacher! That’s not my job! It’s his! It’s not my fault my family got mixed up in every damn battle in the history of the world” you argue and your mom sighs.

“I’m sorry, y/n.”

“What, why?” you ask, confused at the change of tone.

“It can’t be easy, living the life you do. You should get to live a normal life. I should’ve thought of this before bringing you home,” she says, looking down and shaking her head.

“Are you… are you saying you wish you didn’t adopt me?” you asks softly, tears welling up in your eyes. “I know it’s hard having a kid, but you still get to do your job. You’re gone all the time anyway-”

“Hey y/n, no!” her head snaps up and she takes your hands, “adopting you was the best thing I’ve ever done. Don’t think for a second that I regret bringing you home. Honey, does it upset you that I’m gone so much?” she questions and you look at the ground.

“Kinda,” you shrug, “I miss you a lot and everything’s a mess without you. Uncle Steve woke me up too early because he didn’t know what time I got up and I missed the bus and I couldn’t drive myself because I never learned how and Uncle Bruce tried to give me peanuts and I wasn’t supposed to tell you that. Please don’t be mad-” you start spiralling and your mom cuts you off.

“Y/n, look at me. I’m not mad,” she says softly, wiping the tears you didn’t even realize had begun falling from your eyes.

“I just get really scared everytime you leave. What if you don’t come back?” you whisper and she shakes her head.

“Love, I will always come back. I promise.”

“But you can’t promise that!” You yell, “people don’t always come back! My birth parents died on one of your missions. I can’t lose you too.”

“Okay, it’s okay,” she pulls you into her arms and you hold on tight. “How about this, I can cut back. I can’t promise I’ll never go on missions, but I can make sure I’m home more. I can teach you how to drive, and I can help you with your homework. I’ll make sure Bruce never touches your food again and I’ll make sure you can have a normal life.’

“Normal’s boring,” you cut in softly, “if I had a normal life I wouldn’t have been able to knock Chad on his ass when he punched me.”

“He what now?” Your mom pulls back with a glare and you’re suddenly very scared for Chad’s life. Your mom is an assassin after all.

“He was making fun of you guys and we got in a fight. But he only got one hit in! You told me not to start a fight and I didn’t! I waited until he did.”

Your mom shakes her head and pulls you into her arms again.

“I’m glad your home,” you bury your face in her shoulder, “I really missed you.”

“I missed you too, love. What about a movie night, just me and you?”

“Yeah!” you look up, seeing Steve has already disappeared and your mom leads you over to the couch.

You cuddle close to her as the movie starts, the safest place in the world to you is still in her arms. Sure, you may not have a normal life, but normal is overrated anyway.

[somerandomstrayemo]

This is my story off of wattpad that I had just decided to put here, do not repost, if I see this story anywhere else I will ask you to take it down, thank you :)

_____________________________________________

Prompt: Virgil lends their sweater to Remus. When Remus is home, he realizes he still has Virgil's sweater and finds Virgil's iPod. Out of curiosity, Remus looks through Virgil's music and finds a playlist titled with Remus's name..

Virgil sat comfortably on the couch, casually scrolling through Instagram (yes, FINALLY, something other than Tumblr-). He hadn't had much to do that day since Patton was out getting things for a movie night, Roman was writing the script for a new video, and Logan was out with Patton, probably just out and about to resupply on crofters since he was running low on them.

It was mid February, and due to the climate in Florida it was still quite cold to say the least. Though Virgil didn't mind the freezing temperature due to the fact he almost always wore his black and purple sweater, he seemed almost unfazed by the somewhat cold atmosphere.

Around the evening is when the anxious trait heard light shuffling behind him and he quickly spun around from his position on the couch, only to spot a  seemingly freezing Remus that previously planned on pouncing on him. "Remus? What are you doing here?" Virgil asked, as it wasn't very common for the dark sides to just come along particularly unannounced like that. "Oh the heater part thing in the air conditioner broke over on the dark side and Janus won't let me use his heat coil thingy, so I thought it'd be warmer here, and surprise surprise, it's FUCKING not~" Remus seemed to be speaking in an utterly annoyed an sarcastic tone. Virgil rolled his eyes and tucked away his ear buds, propping his arms up on the back of the couch. "Huh, that sucks now doesn't it" The emo said, still completely unfazed by the situation.

Remus looked Virgil up and down in complete shock. He wasn't shivering, and was acting as though everything was fine. The intrusive side then scoffed and crossed his arms, developing a somewhat snarky attitude towards the smaller side. "How the hell are you so okay with this, it's fucking freezing here! Are you immune or something?!" Remus wasn't very pleased. Virgil made it look so simple and easy to just ignore the cold, it was almost like the emo was taunting him. "Relax Remus, I just have a really thick sweater on. Here, if it makes you feel any better, would you like to borrow it?" Virgil tried to be kind to Remus, as he hated conflict between sides and wasn't one to want to get involved. In fact, Virgil did this willingly, he'd do anything just to see Remus smile just once. It was just a little temperature, how bad could it possibly be?

Remus stared at the emo like he was being taunted once more, but then eased up a bit, seeing there was no signs of mockery in his soft expression. Remus simply gave in, un-crossing his arms and giving a small nod, watching as Virgil then took off his sweater and handed it over.

Remus seemed so happy as he quickly grabbed the sweater and put it on. Though Remus was enjoying himself, this was a decision that Virgil very quickly regret as a cold draft of air hit him like a bus. God it was freezing, yet he plastered a smile on his face as not to let Remus worry. "Thanks emo, this thing really is warm!" Remus said in an almost happy tone. It was rare that Virgil ever saw Remus happy like this since he was mostly intrusive, so like any other side would, he took it all in while he still could. "You're welcome dude, I didn't want you dying from hypothermia, you looked like an angry ice cube." The emo smirked, using his little remark to distract himself from the cold atmosphere. Remus laughed, something Virgil just loved to see, thank god his pale foundation was covering his slightly red face. Though Remus could clearly see how satisfied Virgil was by the decision, and leaned forward, placing and gentle kiss on the freezing emo's face, causing the anxious trait to tense up. "I have to go now Virge, and seriously, thanks for the sweater, I promise I'll give it back" Remus stated happily as he then quickly sunk out. Who's to say he probably snuck out while Janus was distracted, he didn't even give Virgil a chance to speak before he left.

After about a week had past, Virgil had ended up borrowing one of Patton's sweaters, as morality had plenty, so yeah it wasn't his usual style, but at least he was fairly warm. After all, only a few hours after Remus left the week before was when the light sides soon discovered that their air conditioning had broke as well. Back with the dark sides however, Janus had been trying to get Remus to confess on where he had gotten that sweater all week, but as time went on, he had eventually given up. Around this time, Remus was in his room playing around with his mace, he honestly had no intention on giving Virgil his sweater back, as he loved it like his own, but he knew the sad truth was that he had to give it up sooner or later.

As the intrusive side swung hos mace one last time, A small object fell out of the pocket of Virgil's sweater. Remus stopped all he was doing and set his mace aside, picking up the object only to discover it was a dark purple iPod with Virgil's name on it. Being curious, Remus conjured some headphones and plugged them into it, starting to look through his playlists he had saved:

"P!ATD? Of course he would"

"Huh, I..guess.. Billie Eilish makes sense..?"

"ugh, and I think Lofi music would be for his panic attacks, I still wouldn't listen to that"

"AVIVA, again, of course he would."

"MCR, yep, That's Virgil alright, it's sad he only has like 2 songs in this playlist"

Remus went on and on over the playlists, until he came across one that caught his eye, 'reminds me of Remus'. No way the anxious trait really had a playlist dedicated to him, right? Remus clicked the playlist and immediately saw a song that captured his main personality, the one that he used around Virgil:

'Green' by cavetown

Remus had closed the iPod immediately and sighed, he realized the only reason Virgil gave up his sweater was because he cared for Remus, and you know what, that wasn't what Remus had thought at all, he simply thought the emo pitied him, nothing more. Turns out the emo really did like him back after all.

Remus acted quickly, playing a recording of him messing around in his room and locked the door so he could sneak out unnoticed. Once he'd done that he quickly sunk out, hoping Virgil was in his room, and to his relief, he was. Virgil was laying peacefully in his bed, curled up under his blankets, and the room completely silent apart from his very light snoring which Remus had found adorable. Virgil slept in often as he barely got any sleep once the sun set. The intrusive aspect guessed that he fell asleep around 4am today, and he only needed an hour of sleep, but it seemed as though he decided to sleep in the one day Remus decided to confront him.

Instead of waking the emo, Remus had decided to be very quiet and get in bed next to him. If Virgil truly loved Remus, then surely he wouldn't mind.

It had only been a few hours before Virgil woke up, a strong and warm embrace wrapped around his small figure. It had only took him a moment to realize he wasn't alone, quickly turning to look up at who had broken into his room; "Remus.." The younger gently whispered, causing Remus to flutter his eyes open and smile to the small anxious trait in his arms.

Virgil had to admit, he was loving every second of this, he simply looked up at Remus, frozen in silence. He had so many questions; why was he here? How long had he been there? And most importantly, did he even want to be this close to someone like himself. As Virgil's mind trailed off, he felt a pair of lips capture his as he felt his waist was being strattled. The emo didn't resist nor comply, he simply screwed his eyes shut, a few small tears falling from them. Oh how he dreamed of this, how he wanted nothing but to be loved like this.. He'd been longing for someone to love him back...

The kiss lingered for a moment before being broken, Remus placing a hand against the emo's cheek. It was firm, yet so gentle and loving. The intrusive side then used his thumb to wipe away any tears Virgil had, and gave a comforting smile "why didn't you tell me sooner Virgil" he asked kindly, a tone that Virgil rarely ever got to hear. "I was scared.. You'd reject me.." He spoke with pure honesty, and slight guilt for not telling sooner, after all he was the embodiment of fear and anxiety. Though nevertheless, who could stay upset at a face like Virgil's?

Remus chuckled as he sat up, scooping up the smaller trait and placing him in his lap and peppering his face with kisses. "it's okay now love, you don't need to hide it from me anymore, I've got you" Remus sighed out, reassuring Virgil that he had absolutely nothing to be afraid of. A beautiful moment of silence quickly followed those words, and Virgil almost immediately fell asleep in Remus's arms after that. He hadn't felt this loved and relaxed in god knows how long since he was always careful and on edge. It was a wonderful feeling, so great that it put him to sleep. Remus simply chuckled once more, laying his new lover back down as he took his place beside the younger trait, wrapping his arms around Virgil as he then too, drifted off to sleep.

Words: 1694

Sanity: 100%, this was beautiful

My sleep schedule: it's 1am and I have school, so idk, you tell me- :/

[uncommoncold]

Home Is Where The Heart Is

Summary: After a fire destroys college student Kang Yeosang's apartment, he's forced to find another place to live. Through a mix up, he is forced to share a house with another college student Park Seonghwa.

Word Count: 4k

Content Warning: Soulmate AU, Drunkenness, Fluff, Forced to Share a House

Kang Yeosang stood on the curb in his stocking feet watching the firefighters putting out the fire in his apartment. When he had been awakened at 4am by the fire alarm and his roommate yelling, he grabbed his bag with his laptop, his phone, and a pair of pants. He was wishing now that he had grabbed his shoes. At least he had socks on, that was something he supposed.

Half of the first floor was entirely gutted, that was where the fire had started. He watched as the window of his living room was broken outward.

He knew he should be counting his blessings that he was at least still alive and had insurance but he still had the more pressing concern of where exactly he was going to live. He had hoped that the fire might not have been that bad and that after some clean up, he might be able to move back in but as he watched, it became increasingly apparent that would not be the case.

Yang Jaeho, his roommate nudged him. “Did you manage to save anything?”

Kang Yeosang held out his backpack and his phone. “You?”

Jaeho looked down at his slipper clad feet, “I panicked and just ran out after yelling for you. Your parents don’t live in Seoul do they?”

Yeosang shook his head. He hadn’t even thought of that, he was going to have to find a place to stay for the night. He had his parent’s emergency credit card so he could stay at a hotel. “I think I’ll have to spend the night at a hotel.”

“Can I come with you? I don’t want to have to wake up my parents. It’s not like there’s anything they can do at this hour anyway.”

They both turned and looked back toward the still flaming structure that had been their home.

***

Yeosang checked the address on his phone again. It was an older, small but neat home, a bit further away from the university than he would have liked but the bus stopped right in front and the subway wasn’t far either. It was a good deal nicer than he would have normally been able to afford, even with a roommate and now he was going to be living here by himself. The idea of not having a roommate was sheer bliss, maybe the fire had been a blessing in disguise. He didn’t actually know the owner, Mr. Cho was a workmate of his mother’s and he had a few properties around the city. This was the only one that wasn’t occupied and he was able to get it with no down payment and for only 300k won a month. He certainly couldn’t do any better and he could do a lot worse.

Mr. Cho had said the place was old and might need some work. From where he was standing, it looked immaculate. There was no telling what it looked like inside though. The moving truck with his things and bed, was to arrive around lunch time.

Might as well take a look and see what he had to deal with. He unlocked the door on an extremely tidy, clean, and well kept home. It was already furnished as well, his mother hadn’t mentioned that. Beyond the entry hall was a living room and dining area. There was a long leather couch facing a large screen television and a coffee table. There was a table set up for dining. The kitchen was a small galley, utilitarian.

Before he could even get to taking off his shoes, he heard movement and a sound of shock. “Who are you?”

Yeosang turned to see a tall, slender young man with a towel swathed around his narrow hips walking out of a bathroom accompanied by a wall of steam. For a long moment they just stared at each other. Did he have the wrong house? He looked down at the address on his phone again and then leaned back out of the door checking the number. No, that was the right address and he had unlocked the door. “I-”

Now that he looked a bit more closely, it wasn’t just furnished, there were books on the shelves. The flowers on the dinner table were fresh and not plastic. The towel that hung in front of the sink in the kitchen looked as though it had been recently used. Someone obviously lived there. He looked back to the nearly naked man who had just come out of the bathroom. “Mr. Cho said that I could live here. He said no one lived here.”

The young man’s eyebrows shot up, “Clearly that’s not true. I live here and I’ve lived here for the last couple of years.”

Shit. Shit. Shit.

Well now what?

“I’m so sorry.” Yeosang half bowed and backed out of the front door only to lower himself to the stoop and drop his head into his hands. Had Mr. Cho given him the wrong address? He called his mother to ask, she said she would get back to him after she spoke to the man. In the meanwhile, what was he going to do? His things would be there in a little less than two hours and he didn’t exactly have any place else for his things to go. He ran both of his hands through his hair.

A light touch to his shoulder jolted him from his misery and he whipped around to see the man who he had intruded on standing in the doorway looking at him sympathetically, “You don’t have anywhere else to go do you? I’m sorry, I heard part of your conversation.”

He really wanted to make excuses, he was feeling particularly pathetic at the moment. It was a feeling he detested but in truth, he didn’t have anywhere else to go. Maybe the guy might let him leave his things there while he looked for somewhere else to live. “No, I don’t.”

“Come on in, have some tea at least.” The young man headed back into the house. He had replaced his towel with a pair of jeans and a loose button up shirt with the collar open. His hair was still damp.

Yeosang stood up and dusted his hands against his legs before following. “I’m Kang Yeosang.”

The young man turned and smiled and offered his hand, “Park Seonghwa. How do you know Mr. Cho?”

“He’s a co-worker of my mother.” Yeosang took a seat on the couch that Park Seonghwa directed him to as he headed into the kitchen.

“Uncle Woosik can be a little forgetful, it’s possible he forgot I was living here.” Seonghwa mused as he turned the kettle on and pulled two cups from the cupboard.

“He’s your uncle?”

“My father’s best friend, I’ve known him my whole life. Did you give up your old place to move here?” Seonghwa leaned a hip against the counter as he spoke.

“There was a fire, it was either move here or move back home until I found a place.”

Seonghwa winced at the reply. He then chewed on his bottom lip as he mulled something over. “I don’t have a lot of room but there are two bedrooms here and if you want…” he paused before he continued, looking thoughtfully at Yeosang. “You can stay here until you find something else.”

“Really?!” Yeosang jumped up in excitement? “I mean you really don’t have to do that.”

Seonghwa laughed, “You don’t have to pretend, you can accept. Do you have more things?”

Yeosang looked down at the backpack that Seonghwa had gestured to, “Oh yes. I didn’t realize you were living here and I arranged for my furniture to be brought here. It should be here soon.” He flashed an apologetic smile.

“Then I guess I should show you around.” Seonghwa pushed off of the counter and guided Yeosang through the house, showing him the bedroom that would be his as well as a tiny space Seonghwa turned into an office that was far too small to be a bedroom. The bathroom was surprisingly large and there was a washing machine and dryer as well as a full tub and a shower. The best part was a porch which looked over a tiny backyard. This place really would have been perfect, except for the fact that someone else lived there.

While his fortune at his birth had been… strange, his actual life was supposed to be pretty good. It was only his soul mark that was supposed to cause him strife. That was easy though, stay away from his soul mark. As much as they could signify the person who you should be with, they could show you who to stay well away from. He was starting to wonder if he had just been born under a bad sign, his apartment building burned down and now he finds the perfect place to live but with someone else living in it. He was still, essentially homeless.

“I should at least pay you rent. I’m not sure how long it will take me to find a new place. With the school year already in session, I can’t even get into one of the dorms.” Yeosang said as he looked around the room that would be his bedroom. There were a couple of boxes that belonged to Seonghwa, he helped him move them up to the attic.

Seonghwa contemplated him quietly for a moment before he finally nodded, “Alright, then you can stay here until you find something else and you can pay me the rent you were going to pay Uncle.”

And just like that, Yeosang found a place to live and Seonghwa gained a new roommate.

Park Seonghwa, it turned out, was extremely neat and downright fastidious. He presented Yeosang with a list of chores to be done, how frequently and on which days they needed to be done was written out in an easy to read chart. Yeosang wasn’t overly messy but he was surprised to see how diligent his new roommate was. Seonghwa was also a student, two years ahead. He was set to graduate and already had a job lined up after graduation.

For his part, Seonghwa was surprised to find that Yeosang was an ideal roommate. While he would have preferred living alone, he found he enjoyed the younger man’s company. He was quiet and a bit shy at first but when he opened up to him, he found him to be intelligent, quirky, and funny. He also found himself wanting to take care of him. What was more, he just liked being with him. It was just nice to come home from class and have Yeosang there to greet him. Maybe he had spent too long living alone and just missed having people around.

“How did your test go?” Yeosang poked his head in from the back door as Seonghwa walked in.

Seonghwa sighed heavily, looking weary.

“Not good?”

A bright smile suddenly took over and Seonghwa winked, “I aced it.”

“Good I got some soju to celebrate!” Yeosang clambered to his feet and headed toward the kitchen.

“What if I had failed?” Seonghwa took off his shoes and stepped into his slippers.

“Then it would have been to commiserate with you. I ordered chicken for dinner and everything. If you want to take a shower, it should be here by the time you get out.”

Seonghwa just stopped and watched Yeosang bustling around the kitchen and setting up the coffee table for their dinner and drinking. When the younger man had walked into his life, he had neither wanted nor needed him but the more time he spent with him, the more he was growing to appreciate him. It had been almost three months and he hadn’t been able to find another place. In truth, he didn’t know if he was even looking but he kind of hoped he wasn’t. “Yeosang?”

Yeosang looked up from the bag of alcohol and snacks he was looking through, “Hm?”

“Do you… I mean I know how hard it is to find a good place for a low price and I think - Would you like to stay here?”

A slow smile crept over Yeosang’s lips, “You mean it?”

“I kind of like having you around. I’d … miss you if you left.” Seonghwa looked down, suddenly embarrassed and hurried off toward the bathroom. “I’m going to go take my shower now.”

Yeosang stared at the closed bathroom door as he set the bag down on the coffee table. He had to admit, he had developed a fondness for his roommate. He was sometimes stubborn and neat to a fault but he was a genuinely kind person and infinitely easy to tease. He always took the teasing with good humor and was just as inclined to laugh at himself. Seonghwa also seemed to like to baby him and he had to admit, he rather liked that too. If he wanted him to stay, then he would be more than happy to do so. He also had to echo the sentiment that if he left, he too would miss Seonghwa - perhaps more than he would like to admit.

***

Seonghwa blinked and forced himself to focus on the table in front of him. He hadn’t had that much to drink but he was already feeling it. “I don’t know … I like the idea of destiny.”  

“What if you don’t like what it is you’re destined for?” Yeosang opened the second box of chicken and pulled out a leg, gesturing with it while he spoke. “I mean the fortune teller who told my parents about my future said that I would know grief and suffering at the hands of my soul mark.”

“Grief and suffering?” Seonghwa frowned slightly at that. Everyone had a soulmate and most people bore a mark that matched someone else. You still might go your whole life and never meet the person who matched you and not everyone had a mark that was complete. He hadn’t heard of anyone who had a bad life with their soulmate. “Did you ever see another fortune teller?”

Yeosang shook his head and reached hurriedly to stabilize his drink as his elbow knocked it. “I just decided I’m going to use my mark in a different way. I’ll just know who to stay away from. What did your fortune teller say?”

“She said that I would have a prosperous life but that I would have some problems with my health and that I would live my life close to my soul mark. She said that it might not be who I suspect but that I would live a long and happy life with them.” He knew he probably put a bit too much stock in such things but he was happy to know that there was someone out there, his other half - the person he had walked multiple lifetimes with.

A frown creased Yeosang’s brow and he sighed. A bitterness far sharper than the soju sat on the back of his tongue and he swallowed against it. “So does that mean I was an asshole in my last life and now I’m destined to suffer for it?”

Seonghwa laid his hand on Yeosang’s on the table. He couldn’t imagine what it would be like to know that you were destined for suffering. Despite his own feelings on the subject, he knew he probably watched too many dramas and life rarely turned out the way that it did on the small screen. “I will help you chase away this person who is just going to cause you grief!”

There was an earnest note in Seonghwa's voice and Yeosang looked up to meet his gentle gaze. The depth and intensity of that gaze caught him and held him. For the first time in his life, his heart skipped a beat. He startled at the strange feeling and looked away, looking instead to the chicken leg in his hand. He couldn’t even remember having picked it up. Too much soju. He put down the chicken leg and struggled to pull himself to his feet, to go get a bottle of water. As he rose, his toe caught on the hem of his pajama pants and he pitched forward. He threw out his arms to catch himself but instead of the floor, he found himself cushioned instead against Seonghwa with the other man’s arms holding him firm.

Time stopped.

He could smell the scent of Seonghwa’s shampoo, the clean scent of his skin, the soju. The warmth of his body and the strength of the arms holding him, permeated his slightly hazy senses. The only thing in the world that he was aware of in that moment, the only thing that mattered was Seonghwa. Yeosang found his eyes drifting down toward Seonghwa’s lips. So close…

Seonghwa cleared his throat and asked, “Are you alright?”

The web that had been woven snapped and Yeosang realized that he was definitely imposing and he pulled himself free from the sheltering embrace. He felt a pang of loss as the other man’s warmth left him.

Too much soju, way too much soju.

“I’m fine. I guess I had a little too much… I’m going to get some water. You want some?” Yeosang asked.

Seonghwa nodded, “Yes, thank you.”

Yeosang managed to get to his feet this time without incident. He looked back over at Seonghwa who was still seated on the floor with his back against the couch. What was wrong with him? He didn’t normally drink a lot but even when he did, he usually handled his liquor better than this. He fished a bottle of water out of the fridge and downed half of it in one drink. He grabbed a second one and just held it as he stared at Seonghwa’s back. After a minute more, he shook his head and walked back over with the bottles of water. “Here you go.”

“Thanks.” Seonghwa opened his bottle and took a long drink.

Yeosang watched Seonghwa’s Adam’s apple bobbing up and down as he drank. He tore his eyes away to the table. Trying to distract himself, he asked. “So where’s your soul mark.”

“It’s … uh…” He was clearly struggling. “My hip bones, both sides. How about you?” That wasn’t actually the full extent but he couldn’t quite bring himself to tell Yeosang that his mark radiated from the base of his cock over his hip bones.

All of the sudden, an image popped into Yeosang’s head unbidden. He shook his head again to try and free himself from it. “Small of my back.” He turned and lifted up the back of his shirt to show the mark.

It was strangely beautiful, the silvery filigree marking his skin. It reminded Seonghwa of his own but in a wholly different location and size. He half reached out to touch it before letting his hand drop back to his lap. “It’s beautiful.”

“You think so?” He lowered his shirt and turned back to face him, “I’ve always just been happy it wasn’t very dark so it doesn’t really show up much. I guess that’s the one good thing about it.”

They stayed up and chatted a bit longer before cleaning up and heading to their rooms. Yeosang, for his part, simply attributed the strangeness of the evening to the alcohol. Seonghwa, was far less sure. It was with a head full of swirling thoughts and a heart full of chaos he closed his eyes.

***

Thunder cracked and tore through the atmosphere.

Yeosang sat straight up in bed. That had been so close, it sounded almost like it was coming from the room itself. It had been raining when they went to bed but the storm had gotten worse. The room lit up and then there was another crack of thunder followed by a creaking sound and then a tremendous crash as a massive part of the ceiling collapsed onto the bottom of his bed and the floor. Yeosang managed to yank his feet back in time and when the door to his room was thrown open, Seonghwa ran to him putting an arm around his shoulder and coaxing him from the room. “Are you alright?”

Yeosang nodded and cast a somewhat panicked glance back at the room. If he hadn’t woken up from the thunder or if his senses had been slightly more dulled by sleep, he could have been seriously injured or even killed. First the fire and now this, was the universe trying to tell him something?

“Are you sure?” Seonghwa was looking him over for any injuries Yeosang might not have noticed. Again Yeosang nodded. It looked like he was alright if extremely shaken and rightly so. He sat him down on the couch and got him a cup of tea. He pressed the cup into his shaking hands.

“I’ll call uncle in the morning to have him get the ceiling fixed. Until then…” He was tempted to tell him that he could share his bed but that might not be comfortable for either of them. Not given the strangeness of the night they spent drinking. Seonghwa got up from the couch and came back with Yeosang’s pillow, some fresh sheets, blanket and made up the couch.

Seonghwa was the very picture of calmness and that calmness soothed him. He drank his tea and by the time he was done with it, the couch had been made into a bed for him. He was tucked in and Seonghwa perched on the edge of the sofa and ran one of his long elegant hands over his hair. God he just wanted to sink into him and let his calming presence overtake him. “Do you think you can sleep?”

“Could you…” stay a little longer? It was on the tip of his tongue to ask but instead he just nodded. He was acting like a child. He was fine, he wasn’t hurt and he had just had a bit of a scare.

Still, Seonghwa smiled that sweet smile of his and began to sing to him. Yeosang didn’t know the song and he didn’t know the words but he listened, riveted by the beauty of his voice. He found his eyes closing and the tension flowing out of him a little bit more with every note that caressed his ear.

Seonghwa, despite his apparent calm, had been anything but. He had been sure the house was falling down around their ears and he hadn’t been too far off. He sat with Yeosang, singing to him until he fell asleep again. He said he was alright but the look in his eyes said that he was quite the opposite. He probably would have been just as shaken if the ceiling had almost fallen on him. After Yeosang was asleep, he watched him for a little while. He had been terrified but not for himself, no. He was frightened for Yeosang. He had been so worried what he would find when he got to his room. He breathed a sigh of relief and reached to brush a lock of hair from his smooth brow. He was a beautiful man. He almost wished he wasn’t but that wouldn’t change who he was inside and how much he enjoyed him and how he was starting to feel about him. Seonghwa ran his hands through his hair and clasped his hands at the back of his neck. He had a problem.

Other stories can be found on my Master List.

[roman-apples]

the ballad of me and my brain | roman angst ( wip )

https://archiveofourown.org/works/26308567

this is much less a wip, and more of an unfinished mess. but here it is- 

--

❝ and well, I think I've gone mad. isn't that so sad? ❞

in which the signs of warning can't be visible if there is no one there to notice. and thankfully, there are.

-

❝ and, what a shame, you've lost a brain that you never had. oh, mum, check the car, it can’t have gone far! ❞

It starts with a bang. Literally.

On the other side of a deep purple door sat a usually darkened room, which belonged to the embodiment of anxiety. Virgil laid on the bed, scrolling through his phone when he heard it. The loud, crash and bang coming from down the hall. He sat up, startled, before deciding to check it out.

He felt worry spark up within his chest as he realised where it had originated from. A rose-red door.

Virgil had took note of how the anxiety levels of the hall increased as he slowly approached the door. It being 4am, he figured the others were asleep, so they wouldn't hear the noise.

He reaches for the door. Though, as he put his hand on the knob, the anxiety is gone. All that is left is pure sorrow.

The knob is turned before he can process he had done it, and looks around the room before him. There stood the exaggeratedly fanciful room he'd been used to. In shambles.

Virgil gasped as he looked around. Paper was cluttered around the floor, all filled in with words of black ink. However, that seemed to be the least of his concerns, as there, kneeling on the floor with his head rested on the bed was Roman. As the anxious side walked closer, he noticed tears staining his rosy-red cheeks. A poor sight to be seen.

He sighed, before putting a blanket on the sleeping man's shoulders. He turns the light off before he leaves.

He'd tell the others later.

❝ I must have left it in a train, or lost in a bar. It’s likely in a sainsbury’s, flirting with the boys and waiting for me. ❞

He didn't tell the others.

And so, it was followed by a silent refusal.

As the resident chef, the embodiment of morality would be tasked with trying to get the other sides to come down to the dining room for a family meal.

It was a few days after the come-in with Virgil, and Roman decided he would skip today's dinner, apparently. Patton looked at the table before him, with everyone except Roman. He raised an eyebrow, before sighing tiredly. He walked up to the creative trait's room.

A knock, "Roman?" He called. He received no reply.

Patton knocked again, "Roman? Are you there?"

He heard nothing except the soft whirl of a ceiling fan. He closes his eyes, before reopening them. Knock, knock, knock.

SIlence. A soft whirl. Silence.

Patton retreated back downstairs with nothing to tell the others.

❝ I jumped on the bus, declared my name, and asked if anyone had seen my brain. ❞

It is accompanied by a withdrawal of voice.

This humanised form of logic was an observant one. It was no shocker, really. He was meant to know most, if not all things. 'The Smart One' was a strong title with a lot to live up to. He managed.

Going back on his observations, Logan began to notice just how much Roman took himself out of their conversations and debates. The princely side used to happily and eagerly throw in his opinion, wanting all eyes on him. He had an ego, and would do anything to fuel it. That was his role.

Though, when it comes to debate, compliments are only thrown around sarcastically. Roman obviously knew this, Logan decided, and had hypnotised that after the courtroom episode with a certain liar that he understood it was a manipulation tactic. However, even days after the trial, Roman wouldn't join in normal small talk, either.

Logan would confront him about it.

"Roman?" The side looked up from the ground, a smile quickly plastered onto his face. And, if Logan hadn't been so observant, he would've shook it off. However, this time, he tipped his head back lightly. The others seemed to be in a conversation of their own with the host, Thomas.

"Why is it that you stay so silent?" He asked, quieter than he normally would, "I am only asking for, I have noticed you don't seem to want to input your own opinions lately."

Roman's eyes flashed a tinge of panic, before going back to normal. A plastic brown. "Why, my dearest nerd, I don't seem to get what you mean?"

"It's just—"

"I believe i'm doing just wonderful, Lo'. Now, if you'd excuse me, I'm going to fetch myself a glass of water. My throat is scarily sore, and a prince's throat must be in tip-top shape in order to sing beautifully!" He declared, before sinking down quickly.

Logan stood there, slightly dumbfounded, which is concealed with the mask of a deadpanned expression.

Roman's throat sounded fine. However, he didn't come back.

❝ I stepped outside, it hurt my eyes. well, what do you expect when you’ve got no mind? ❞

It is trailed closely by an episode of apathy.

Remus was never one for secrets, nor was he ever one for falsifications. He also wasn't one for boring, being intrusive thoughts.

Coming with the role, he'd usually pull tricks on the sides, or sometimes, the creatures Roman created in the imagination. Sometimes as experiments, and sometimes for his own enjoyment. Usually, it was for the dramatic reactions his brother would give him.

However, lately, those reactions would never come.

Before, Remus would try to burn down a farm one of the villagers had owned in Roman's side of the imagination, and Roman would yell at him, laugh, say something witty in return, and change it back.

Now, Remus would try to burn down the castle, and Roman would only watch. He would stare with a blank expression on his face, only moving it to blink.

The normally loud side stood there in confusion and silence, as his brother changed it back to a full castle, before walking away to do something else.

"Ro-Bro?" He followed, "You're silent. Ooh! Did the princess die from starvation in the tower before you could save her? Was she eaten by the rats?"

Roman only looked forward. A shrug.

Remus rolled his eyes, "Ugh, how boring. Do you wanna slay something with me? Like, maybe, a giant kraken!" A large squid appeared in front of them, flopping around, needing a body of water. It smelled horrible.

"I gave it utters!" The side said excitedly. He pointed to the giant cow utter on the sea creature, a drop of white milk spewed out of it.

Roman only looked at It, before sinking off.

Remus huffed, but looked at the space where Roman was standing.

His concern faded away as the kraken let out a loud "moo!"

He giggled, taking out his morning-star and ran towards it happily.

❝ I searched all day, it drove me insane! where would I be if I was my brain? ❞

It continued with a lie.

Being the embodiment of Deceit, Janus knew immediately when it began. He felt it. Like a little sense of alarm, it was a feeling that bloomed whenever someone had lied. Normally, he'd ignore it. But when it came to Roman, whenever the lies became greater, so did the amount of time the feeling stayed in his chest. After a while, it began to hurt.

They all stood in their respective spots. Virgil sat on the stairs, Patton by the window, Logan by the railing, Janus near him, Remus having in the middle of Patton and Roman, who was near the corner.

Thomas seemed to be speaking, but Roman didn't seem to notice. All there was, was a pale look on his face. That was what Janus could see. Though, he knew there was more.

"Roman," He called smoothly. Everyone's attention now was pulled onto the side mentioned, "You've not gone pale. Are you doing alright?"

Roman smiled, "Well, of course I am, Mr. Pants-On-Fire! You're just mistaken, perhaps it's the lighting."

Janus nodded after wincing, "Obviously not because I don't know that you're lying."

Roman huffed, about to shoot something back, before being cut off by Patton.

"Kiddo, you know, it's okay to not feel alright," He said kindly, "Just tell us what's wrong!"

"Nothing's wrong! I can assure you," The creative side looked at the deceitful side's flinch, "Just- Just lay off it."

"Princey, you're not okay, all you have to say is what's causing it. You're panicking." Virgil explained calmly, trying his hardest to tip-toe around the subject, as to not step on a mouse trap and set it off.

"I'm fine! Please, just, let it go." Roman stepped back. All eyes were on him. But he didn't want that, not now, not now, not now, not now—

Oops, the trap closed.

He shook as he felt himself fall to the floor. Wait, he's on the floor? He can't feel it. Why is everything so loud? Why does it feel this way? Why can't he actually hear them?

Oh, god, are they even there? Have they finally realised how bad he was and left him? Oh, god, oh god, oh god, oh god—

Suddenly, everything was silent. And dark.

❝ the nice nurse told me she felt my pain, but she couldn't find a single trace of my brain. ❞

It ended with a truth.

When you were creativity and ego, you had quite the job. You were to create new ideas that wouldn't get denied because they suck and are unrealistic and just "Aren't achievable, Roman." You had to make sure your host's mood was in tip-top shape, which meant your mood had to be in tip-top shape.

You strived off of compliments, practically begged for recognition, and hunted for approval. You wanted to be good.

Because if you weren't good, that meant the work you did isn't. And if the work you do isn't, then what's the point? You might as well disappear.

Oh, with this mindset, Roman might as well sob.

He was laid down on the couch. Or, that's where he was placed, because, he didn't remember then he got there. When he awoke, he let out a groan, "Ow!"

All eyes were on him.

"Roman!" Someone exclaimed. He thinks it's Patton, but everything is just so blurry. He closes his eyes, before opening them once again. Yup, his bones were being broken in by Patton.

"Um, padre, please—"

"Oh! Right, sorry." Roman let out a breath. It felt refreshing. He turned to face the others concerned faces.

"H—"

"Oh, you stupid idiot!" Virgil exclaimed, jumping off of the couch's arm and scolding the tired side. "You should've said something."

"I don't know, it's a bit hard to come clean about my on-going mental breakdowns." Roman joked, trying to get a laugh out of the serious side. He didn't succeed.

"You've been having them?" Virgil stepped back, "What the fuck, Roman?"

"What?" He argued, throwing his arms up. The other sides and Thomas stare at him, before Remus speaks up, "Are we really that oblivious, or—"

"Wait, so, is that why I've been so. . . sad?" Thomas asks, quietly.

Roman looks up, before looking away. His eyes fall to anything other than those around him. Thoughts begin to race as silence eats him alive.

He messed up again, what a surprise.

The side looks up, meeting his host's downplayed eyes. Oh, he messed up. A lot. Thomas was in distress over this, and it was his fault. It's always his fault. Nobody else was to blame. Only cowards would put the blame on others, and that's not a good trait to posses.

"Roman, you can't keep forgetting to breathe."

Inhale, exhale, he sighs. "I'm sorry."

"For?"

Roman closes his eyes, wasn't it obvious? "For messing up? For being an idiotic, narcissistic prick? For making things harder than it already is? For—"

He reopens his eyes they stare back at him, drowning in worry. "You haven't messed up!"

Oh, how he wishes he could believe that.

-

[dierwolves]

fezco x reader; old flame #2

notes: so this is part 2, i’m planning on doing this kind of a back story to what we see in euphoria, or more like what we don’t see about fezco. feedback is always cool, so tell me what you think!

part 1 part 3

 fez:

im leaving the party now

you: 

it’s only 4am, tired of hanging out with teenagers already?

 fez:

fuck off

ur at the hospital shoudlnt u be payin attention to ur patients???

 you:

just finished my shift asshole, i’m going home now

 fez:

want me to pick u up?

 you:

don’t worry i’ll ask one of my coworkers to drive me

 fez:

already on my way, see u now

 You walked straight to the hospital cafeteria, where you usually waited 30 minutes until this one nurse could drive you home. You hadn’t been in town for long, but you had already scoped out who has their own vehicle, and had managed to be friendly enough to catch a ride every ride. You didn’t need a car when you lived in the city, the bus or the underground worked just fine. Now you really were in need of a car. That, or Fez could simply become your personal chauffeur.

 fez:

go to the front of the hospital

 You got into his car that you knew so well. It smelled like weed most of the time. It made you reminiscence of the times when you’d drive to parties in his car during high school.

“You didn’t need to.”

“Just say ‘thanks’”.

“Thanks.” You rolled your eyes, but he could see a small smile on your lips, he knew you were thankful. “So, how was the party?”

“You know teenagers. Lots of sex, lots of alcohol and lots of drugs.”

“You know alcohol is drug, don’t you?”

“Yes doctor, I know that.”

“Just saying.”

You laid your head against the window and your eyes started to close. These night shifts were killing you. You had Fez to keep you entertained most nights. He had taken to texting you almost every night. You didn’t know how he managed to stay awake so late and still function like a normal human the next day, but you weren’t complaining.

“You gon’ fall asleep on me?”

“Sorry.” You tried to focus on him to avoid falling asleep again. He looked handsome that night. He always did, but every time you saw him it seemed like he looked even better. “So, did you get any?”

“Interested?” He said in a teasing tone. You liked that smirk, although most times it just made you stutter pathetically.

“As far as I’m concerned, you’re the one who had a crush on me.” You said, and you were pleased to see the blood rushing to his pale cheeks.

“Who told you that?”

“No one. You were pretty obvious.”

He sighed. “Then why didn’t you say anything?”

You shrugged. “You never asked me out either. Maybe I got it wrong, I wasn’t gonna risk it.”

His face turned more serious. “I knew you wouldn’t say ‘yes’. A school drop-out and a girl who was going to one of those Ivy League med-schools? That’s some Hollywood movie shit.”

“So that’s the reason why you didn’t ask me out? Funny, I just thought you didn’t have the balls to ask.” It brought a smile back to his face.

“You ain’t that intimidating, sweetheart.”

“That’s why you still have a hard time looking me in the eye when we talk?”

He chuckled. “Shit, Y/N. Feeling brave tonight? You sure you haven’t had anything to drink?”

You took a deep breath. Having a drink would have been definitely helpful to have this conversation. “You know I had a crush on you too, right? Since ninth grade.” The air in the car was dense. You were close to opening the car the window, needing to feel the wind in your face.

“Well, would’ve been cool to know this back then.”

“I mean...” It was your time to smirk at him. “We’re here now.”

He returned the smirk. “That’s good to know.”

You didn’t speak again while the ride lasted, but his hand had slipped to your thigh, drawing random patterns on your skin, and soon you started to doze off again.

You woke up when the car came to a halt. You looked around the street and then back at Fez. “This isn’t my home.”

“It’s mine. I assumed, given where the conversation was going, you wouldn’t mind.”

You laughed, that bastard. “Guess I don’t.”

You followed him inside the house. You weren’t sure about what to do or where to go, so you just followed him around. He went to a room at the back of the corridor. “That’s my room. Wait in there, I’m gonna check on my grandma, okay?”

You nodded and did as told. His room was kinda messy, but still, pretty comfortable. It was full of personal stuff, things he liked, which made it way cosier. His voice startled.

“Think I have some clothes you can wear. Wait a minute.”

“A t-shirt’s just fine.”

He laughed quietly. “Okay.” He started digging around his wardrobe while you just sat by his bed. “Here”. You grabbed the t-shirt and started stripping off your clothes. His eyes were glued to you. You didn’t turn around. What was the point in hiding? He started stripping at the other side of the bed and god, only if you weren’t so tired.

“Damn, ma. Wasn’t planning on fucking tonight, but I might just change my mind.”

You looked at him. He had tripped down to his boxers. It seemed like he didn’t plan on wearing something else. Thank God.

“Why you didn’t plan on having sex?”

“`Cause the moment your head hits the pillow you gon’ fall asleep.”

You sighed. It was probably true. You got under the blankets. These night shifts were really catching up to you.

“Come here.” He was lying on his back, arm extended toward you. You swiftly put your head on his chest, nuzzling your nose into his neck. He surrounded you with his arm, and left his hand fall on your ass. You gave a little jump, but you didn’t catch his boastful smile.

“This okay?”

You nodded, not trusting your voice. You fell asleep soon after, in the arms of your high school crush, who fell asleep grasping your ass. Hell, this really was some Hollywood movie shit.

[abundanceofsoph]

SkyFire 2: Chapter 8

Louis in NYC: June 2016

Word count: 2.5k

SkyFire 2 MASTERLIST

The song Louis and Rori write in this chapter is Leave a Light On by Tom Walker. I decided really early on in this fic that this song was going to be one of Aurora’s and I just think it’s beautiful

>Instagram posts

The night after Niall left, Aurora woke with a start, sweat beading across her forehead and her left arm aching. She laid still in the darkness, staring up towards the ceiling as her chest heaved with every laboured breath. After a while she began to calm but after looking at the clock and seeing that it was around 4 in the morning she groaned, knowing that she wouldn’t be able to get back to sleep. She grabbed her phone off the bedside table and opened WhatsApp.

◊Aurora: Are you free?

◊Harry: I am. What are you doing up so early?

Instead of replying, she hit the call button at the top of the screen, waiting as the dial tone rang for a brief moment.

“What’s wrong love?” Harry asked.

“Sorry,” Aurora murmured. “Are you sure I’m not interrupting anything?”

“Not at all. We’re just broke for an early lunch,” Harry said. “Now tell me what’s got awake at 4am?”

Aurora sighed heavily, her heart already settling back into its normal rhythm, soothed by the familiar cadence of Harry’s voice. “Nightmare’s again.”

“Thought you said they were getting better?” he asked, concern thick in his voice and she could picture the way his brows would be lowered over his eyes.

“They were,” she sighed. “I think having Niall around all the time helped.”

“He went home yesterday?”

“Yeah,” she said.

“Saw you two went out on the town,” he chuckled. “Looked like fun.”

“It was. Felt like old times.”

“I’m glad you had fun…” his voice trailed off, struggling to keep up the light-hearted mood in the wake of his concern for her.

“I’ll be alright H. Just missing you.”

“I’ll be home before you know it,” he promised and she smiled softly, happy to hear him referring to the tower as home.

“Enough about me,” she said. “Tell me all about being a big movie star.”

He chuckled but told her all about being on set and how he was getting along with his co-stars. “Baby, I gotta get back to work,” he said after a while. “You gonna be able to sleep now?”

“Probably not,��� she sighed. “Might just go downstairs and paint for a while.”

“Ok. I love you.”

“And I love you Harry.”

xXx

Aurora was in the kitchen a few days after her early morning talk with Harry. She was making a cup of tea, her back to the rest of the room where the open plan kitchen looked out across the large living room. She heard the elevator doors slide open over in the far corner of the room, paying it no mind, assuming it was one of the towers residence coming or going as they often did. She added a splash of milk to her mug and returned the carton to the fridge, almost dropping the bottle when a familiar voice yelled out. “Oi Oi!”

She spun around, her face already lighting up with a grin the moment her eyes landed on him. “Louis!” she screamed, running across the room to throw herself into his arms. “What are you doing here?” she asked as he spun her around, his bags forgotten at his feet.

“Missed you love,” he replied. “Got jealous that you spent 3 weeks straight with Irish and I had to come get my own quality time with ya.”

“Harry called, didn’t he?” she asked.

“He was just worried about you getting a bit lonely without him,” Louis explained, finally putting her back on her feet. “Don’t be mad at him.”

“I’m not mad,” Aurora argued. Louis laughed as she followed him into the living room, sitting down next to her on the sofa, folding his leg underneath him to turn and face her completely. “I’m not. I just wish everything would go back to normal. It’s not like I can be angry at him or my parents treating me like I’m broken. They’re not wrong.”

“You’re fine,” Louis scoffed. “There’s nothing wrong with needing to have people around you who care about you. H didn’t ask me to be here with you because he thinks you’ll fall apart on your own, he wanted me here because he feels guilty that he left right after the surgery.”

“I know he feels guilty not being here,” she said. “I think I worried him when I called him the night after Niall left.”

“Why’s that?” Louis asked, his hand resting on her knee.

“I have nightmares when I’m alone at night,” she explained. “Most nights that Niall was here I ended up crashing in his room because I didn’t want to be on my own.”

“Sounds like we’re gonna have plenty of sleepovers then,” Louis joked.

“I really am glad that you’re here, but I’m surprised you’re not out in California with Freddie.”

“I was,” he replied, “but my little sister needed me.”

“Thanks Lou.”

“Anytime, love.”

“He’s beautiful by the way,” Aurora added, happy to change the subject to something happier.

“Wanna see some more photos?” Louis asked, already pulling out his phone.

“Of course,” Rori laughed, leaning in to see Louis and the little baby on his screen. They spent the rest of the afternoon talking about Louis son and what the first few months of fatherhood had been like for him. Steve and Tony were both happy to find the pair in the living room when they arrived home in the early evening, having noticed the change in Rori’s mood since Niall had left the previous week.  They had JARVIS order pizza and the rest of the crew made their way up to the penthouse for dinner. Aurora really was glad to have Louis there and was grateful that Harry had called him. Over the years Louis had taken on the roll of older brother in her life and she had missed him in the months since the band had gone their separate ways.

Eventually it started to get late and slowly everyone excused themselves, heading off to bed one by one. Louis didn’t even pretend that he would be staying in one of the many guest rooms, and instead headed straight for Aurora’s room and dropped his bag at the end of the bed. Rori took her pyjamas into the bathroom to change and by the time she came back out, Louis had changed and was lying on Harry’s side of the bed. She climbed in next to him, a respectful distance between them which caused Louis to laugh.

“Get over here and give us a cuddle,” he said, opening his arms out as he turned on his side to face her. “You know Harold won’t mind.”

She let out her own chuckle, remembering how many times the two of them had fallen asleep on the tour bus or on green room couches together. Harry had of course never had a problem with it, knowing that there was nothing romantic about it and that they were just comfortable around each other. She scooted over towards the centre of the bed, letting Louis wrap his arms around her and she snuggled in against his chest. She fell asleep quickly, sleeping better than she had in weeks.

xXx

As was always the case when the two of them were together, Aurora and Louis spent more time goofing around and having fun than they did actually working. Even so they still managed to pull together a couple of songs they were happy with.

“Wanna take another pass at that house on the hill song we were messing with the other day?” Louis asked.

“Yeah sure thing,” Rori smiled back. “Take it from the second verse?”

Louis nodded and began strumming away on the guitar, Aurora joining in with her lyrics a few beats later.

Tell me what's been happening, what's been on your mind Lately, you've been searching for a darker place to hide That's alright But if you carry on spiralling, they'll be robbed from us I refuse to lose another friend to guns Just come home, don't let go

If you look into the distance, there's a house upon the hill Guidin' like a lighthouse To a place where you'll be safe to feel our grace 'Cause we've all made mistakes If you've lost your way

I will leave the light on

If you look into the distance, there's a house upon the hill Guidin' like a lighthouse It's a place where you'll be safe to feel our grace And if you've lost your way, if you've lost your way I will leave the light on And I know you're down and out now, but I need you to be brave Hidin' from the truth ain't gonna make this all okay I see your pain If you don't feel our grace and you've lost your way

I will leave the light on

“I’m thinking we should add a piano track,” Aurora suggested when she finished singing. She moved over to the upright piano and started putting together the right hand of the melody.

“Maybe go up here in the bridge,” Louis suggested. He nodded when Aurora tried it. “Yeah that’s better, kinda cuts through the melody nicely.”

“I like it,” Aurora agreed.

“Think you want to keep this one?” he asked when they finished.

“Nah, I still don’t really see myself doing the whole solo thing. You want it?”

“No thanks love,” Louis replied. “Don’t think it’s the direction I wanna head in.”

“Any idea what that is?” she asked.

“Not yet,” he sighed. “I know the others are chomping at it to get out there on their own, but I think I wanna ease it into.”

“I get that,” Rori said.

“Think you’re probably the only one that does get it. Everyone else is on my ass about writing and getting a solo album out as quick as possible.”

“Tell ‘em to fuck off, Lou.”

Louis let out a loud peel of laughter in response, rolling backwards where he was sitting on the floor. “Jesus I really did miss hanging out with you,” he finally said when he pulled himself together.

xXx

They were up on the roof one night, the hot summer air still hanging over the city even though the sun had set hours ago and they both lay on their backs staring up at the sky. Aurora’s head was cushioned on Louis chest, and she toed off her shoes, the hem of her dress covering her thighs.

“Hey Rors?” Louis asked, breaking the stillness of the evening. The sound of traffic below them floated up but given how high they were above the streets it was more of a soft background noise than it would have been down below.

“Yeah?” she replied, turning her head to the side, only able to see the underside of his chin as he continued looking up at the hint of stars above them.

“I never really asked you about the shooting because I didn’t want to upset you, but I was wondering if you ever wanted to talk about it?”

“For a while I kept trying to pretend it never happened,” she said, turning back to look at the darkness spread out above them. “I know that probably sounds ridiculous given that my hand was held together by metal plates and my shoulder was in pieces, but I couldn’t think about it at first. Then I started talking to Sam and it helped, so I started talking to Harry. I’m not ready to talk to the press or anything, but I think it helps to talk with the people around me.”

“What was it like?” Louis asked.

“Terrifying.” His hand lifted to comb through her hair while she spoke. “I was confused at first, but then once we all realised what was happening, we got under the tables and I had JARVIS send out an S.O.S.” She paused for a moment, thinking back to that day in the library. “I remember the bullets feeling hot, like a hot iron poker. I think I went into shock pretty quick and my head was spinning. I remember Pops lifting me up. His face is what I see in my nightmares most nights. The fear in his eyes was what made me realise I was dying. By the time I got to the hospital I’d lost consciousness, but they said I lost so much blood that it was close. And then I woke up and I couldn’t really believe I was alive, but my dads were there and so was Harry.”

“I hate that that happened to you,” Louis whispered. “When we found out what happened and they were trying to get Harry on a plane and cancel the show, we saw that photo of you in Steve’s arms and I kept thinking; what are we gonna do if you die?”

“I’m sorry, Lou. I forget that it wasn’t just me that went through hell that day.”

“Don’t ever apologise,” he told her. “I’m just glad you’re still here.”

“Me too.”

They both let the conversation drop, the silence wrapping back around them as they lay out in the summer night. Over the past few months, Aurora had found herself resenting how much Harry, Steve and Tony were hovering over her. She’d hated the way they watched her constantly as if afraid that the moment they turned away she would fall apart. She’d thought they saw her as weak and resented their pity. It was only now, lying in the darkness with Louis that she realised that everything they’d done was just their way of loving her and trying to protect her. So much focus was on her injuries, both physical and mental, that she often forgot how traumatising the shooting had been on all of them. How could she possibly blame them for being overprotective of her when they had so very nearly lost her. It wasn’t that she wasn’t able to look after herself, it was more that they wanted to help her in any way they could. She felt stupid for not realising any of this sooner considering how painfully obvious it now seemed.

“I can hear you thinking,” Louis muttered. “Care to share with the class?”

“Just thinking about how much you all love me,” Rori replied. “You’d really do anything to make sure I’m ok.”

“You best believe it,” he said, his hand resting on her shoulder, squeezing gently. “So, stop complaining and just let us help you.”

“I love you Lou,” she murmured, sitting up to look at him in the soft light. “Growing up I always wanted a brother and I’m so grateful I got the best one.”

“Love you too Rors.” He also sat up, pulling her into a tight hug. “I think we all blame ourselves for not being able to protect you. I know it’s not rational because how could anyone of us have stopped what happened, but seeing you hurting kills us. Please don’t feel like you need to put on a brave face around any of us, because we would walk through fire for you.”

Aurora didn’t say anything, still clinging to Louis and he let the silence once again fall around them, glad that he’d finally said everything that had been gnawing away at him for months and happy that she finally understood why her family was hovering over her.

NEXT CHAPTER

OR CONTINUE READING ON AO3

[acuriouslilthing]

Edit of I like me better + Miraculous please.

Hello! This is a document to put all my fangirling into. Don’t mind me. I enjoyed the movie. I didn’t put on my analyzing glasses on much but my inner teenage girl was definitely there. Also the fact that it’s 4am might have something to do with it. I will be addressing how the Miraculous movie sorta fits well with the song “I like me better”

------------------------------------Non Spoiler------------------------------------ The beat matches so well. It’s so vibey. And in my mind, it pictures well with idealizing New York to be a place where you can just live your dreams. Of course I know that isn’t reality but besides the point. It makes it feel magical. “Second” most romantic city in the world if you will. It just gives me vibes when I went to America and I was so happy. Plus I’m biased to this song and show because I did indeed watch an important episode in New York and I did listen to this song a bunch while watching the roads.

The lyrics match so well with it. You’ll see it more when you watch it. Plus the lyrics analysis are down below. But, it’s so sweet.

The movie did idealize what New York was and it was so fun. Not too realistic, but fun. There was hardcore Adrienette for like 20 minutes or thirty minutes straight. And seeing it in highkey quality animation? Hell yeah. Now picture this, seeing those moments + animation + Lauv music? U h u h. Am I flying to Heaven?

--------------------Spoilers/Lyric Analysis-----------------

To be young and in love in New York City (in New York City) ***They are literally in New York. Alya calls it “Second” most romantic city in the world. O m g. It matches well and it’s just the first line. Plus they’re just teenagers just fooling around ya know?

To not know who I am but still know that I'm good long as you're here with me ***Adrien does have an identity crisis. He has a breakdown about who he is but he knows as long as he has his lady’s trust, he’s okay. As well as Adrien keeps emphasizing “I wouldn’t mind being stuck here with a friend like you”  Woah buddy. “Just a friend” goodbye.

To be drunk and in love in New York City (in New York City) ***Lmao they don’t get drunk. But they do a lot of clumsy things together that they might as well be.

Midnight into morning coffee ***I picture the plane scene here. Marinette had a hard time sleeping on the plane and she couldn’t get through it. So she watched the sunset. With Adrien.

Burning through the hours talking ***Continuing here where Adrien and Marinette talk on the plan about stuff.

Damn, I like me better when I'm with you I like me better when I'm with you ***Cue small edit matching the beat of them doing something cute and having fun.

I knew from the first time, I'd stay for a long time 'cause *** I imagine one of the scenes where they’re staring at each other. Some examples *** Adrien looking at Marinette in the plane *** Marinette telling Adrien that she’ll do everything she can for him to go. *** Marinette looking at Adrien *** (My personal choice for this part) Adrien looking at Marinette in the bus

I like me better when I like me better when I'm with you *** *Cute edits*

I don't know what it is but I got that feeling (got that feeling) Something with a frame of either Adrien or Marinette. Cause as seen in the movie, she’s trying to avoid her feelings for him. Or Adrien who doesn’t admit to anything but I swear he says Marinette in the most emphasized voice. He says it like he says “Ladybug!” Just him figuring out his stuff. Could flash to him thinking.

Waking up in this bed next to you swear the room *** Either the plane scene or the scene where he stares at her in the bus or insert scene from that episode which included them being seatmates.

Yeah, it got no ceiling *** Just them at the part dancing happily I suppose. Not the one in the sky. Just the one when the music starts and they’re like yey.

If we lay, let the day just pass us by *** It should be something with just them living in the moment. Because they don’t care about past or present, they’re just them being them and having fun.

I might get to too much talking *** Definitely a scene where they’re being clumsy, probably the plane or just Marinette being Marinette.

I might have to tell you something *** A part where they’re about to say something to each other. A dramatic scene maybe when they were in the rain or something else.

Damn, I like me better when I'm with you I like me better when I'm with you I knew from the first time, I'd stay for a long time 'cause I like me better when I like me better when I'm with you *** Cute edit things

Stay awhile, stay awhile Stay here with me Stay awhile, stay awhile, oh Stay awhile, stay awhile Stay here with me Lay here with me, ayy-ayy, ayy-ayy, *** Option 1: The dramatic parts where Marinette is running for Adrien to come back and stay. *** Option 2: The dancing part where they’re just staying in the moment *** Option 3: The sunrise part can also be.

I like me better when I'm with you (yes, I do, yes, I do, babe) I like me better when I'm with you (ooh, no) I knew from the first time, I'd stay for a long time 'cause I like me better when I like me better when I'm with you Better when, I like me better when I'm with you *** Cute edits

============================================== Conclusion/Proper Analysis: I’m in desperate need of an edit with this song and that movie. If I’m desperate enough, I’ll scrap it together with my own crappy editing skills. I’ll let y’all know if it happens. Also, this was supposed to be an analysis on why, it just turned out to become how I want the edit to be woops. But to get it straight. “I like me better” is a song about being lost but being with that special person you want to be lost with. It’s reemphasized over and over again in that movie by Adrien himself that he’s okay with being with Marinette longer. And by that framing, he wants to. He doesn’t want to stress over Paris, he wants to have a good time. And the main person that seems to be is Marinette. It’s just so cute. But yes, my fangirling + shipping glass are on and I’m sure there’s a lot in the movie that I’m very huh with but I’m too tired, I can’t. If you wanna see that analysis if ever just hmu ;D

[neoneversleeps]

night shift | l.tn

pairing: underground boxer!ten x nurse!reader 

genre: fluff, slightly suggestive humor, (teensy tiny splash of angst if you squint)

warnings: mentions of blood

description: 

Sometimes you think Ten only started dating you because you’re a nurse. 

words: 2.6k

notes: i’ve had this idea in the back of my mind for a while but @chittapornswife ‘s love for Ten compelled me to write this at like 2am last night (or this morning??) anyways, T, you inspired me and this is dedicated to you. (ily <3)

The clock ticks closer to the 4am mark as you wait on your colleague to relieve you of your twelve hour shift at the hospital. The halls are relatively quiet except for the occasional shuffling of feet or hushed whispers between passing doctors. You sift through some paperwork at the front desk, looking to get some last-minute work done before you have to leave. 

“Happy to go home?” Kiana, your coworker who works at the front desk, asks you as she sits down with one steaming coffee in her left hand and another cup extended towards you in her right. Your gaze flicks from the coffee to her kind face for a second and you thank her before accepting the warm beverage into your freezing hands. Your fingertips welcome the scorching heat of the liquid. For some reason, your hands were always ice cold when you spent time at the hospital.  

“Yeah, I am.” You give a small smile as you return to looking over a patient’s filled out form. “Have anyone waiting for you?” Kiana questions, a smile on her face and a curious lilt to her tone. You chuckle breathily. “Yeah, actually, my boyfriend.” You watch as Kiana takes a sip from her coffee, her hands curling around the cup as she hums in acknowledgement. “He’s still up at this time?”

“Probably, yeah.” You can picture Ten in your mind as he sits on your couch in the living room, lip split and skin decorated in bruises, but a smile on his face all the same. You hope he’s there when you get home, you hate it when he’s not. Because no matter how many times he reassures you, when you open the door to an empty couch, you always assume the worst. “Does he also work a night shift somewhere? Or why does he stay up so late?” 

Kiana’s questions pull you back to reality, and you release your lower lip from being worried between your teeth. “Yeah, something like that” You laugh a little nervously. Kiana raises a brow at you, but doesn’t push any further. You take a sip of your coffee, the dark liquid trickling through your mouth and down your throat, leaving a bitter taste in its path. It wasn’t exactly easy to talk about Ten’s “profession”, if you could even call it that. A couple of times a week, he would make his way over to a club in downtown Seoul. Instead of heading to the people packed dancefloors, he would take the stairs down to the basement floor of the building, where the nightly boxing matches took place. Needless to say, they were illegal. 

Despite his smaller statue and lean figure, Ten was known to be a safe bet against nearly all the opponents he faced. The fact that he had a background in contemporary dance made him much more flexible and have faster reflexes than other boxers. Whereas most of the men that entered the ring valued strength, Ten valued his sharp senses and fast paced mind. He caught onto his opponents moves almost before they could execute them, and quickly found a way to dodge or counteract them. Which didn't mean that he ended up unharmed, of course. 

Once. Only once you had accompanied him to one of his fights, still in the relatively early stages of your relationship. You shudder at the memory, the smell of blood and sweat, the sound of flesh hitting flesh and the flickering light of the meek lightbulb that hung above the ring still all too vivid in your mind. 

A tap on your shoulder causes you to swivel around in your chair. Your colleague smiles down at you, ready to trade places with you to begin her shift. You smile back and bid goodbye to Kiana as you start heading out into the streets of the city. The fall weather brings with it a cold wind as you step into the night. Despite the ungodly hour, the city still buzzes with activity. Skyscrapers decorate the vast expanse of the night sky with their varying blotches of light, making up for the lack of stars in the firmament. 

You wrap your arms tightly around yourself to keep out the cold as you make your way down to the nearest bus station. The bus arrives just as you get there, door opening with a sound that could only be described as the mixture between a hiss and a screech. You step onto the vehicle, moving to sit somewhere near the back. The bus is basically deserted at this hour and you pull out your headphones from your jacket pocket to plug into your phone. You place the buds in your ear and hit play. 

The calming rhythm of Jonas blues’ Fast cars relaxes you as you lean against the cold glass of the window. Tiny droplets of water from the earlier rain travel down the glass slowly, blurring the colours of traffic. You sigh as you close your eyes. The weight of having three consecutive twelve-hour-shifts weighs down on you and the aching of your muscles and joints becomes very apparent. You open your eyes and stifle a yawn, stretching your sore limbs in the hope of relieving some of the pent-up pressure. 

The fifteen minute drive is over before you know it, and you thank the bus driver as you get out at your stop. You walk up to your apartment complex, stifling another yawn as your feet direct you towards the main entrance. As you trudge into the small lobby, you glance at the elevator. The words “Out of Order” are still sprawled into a sign that's taped to the front, just as it had been when you left the day before. 

You groan as you take up the stairs to the fifth floor, your feet protesting in pain with each step you took. It feels like an eternity until you finally reach the door to your apartment. Reaching into your bag, you fumble around before your hand wraps around your keys. 

Your various keyrings jostle together as you turn the key, hearing the lock click as you enter the narrow hall that leads to the living room of your apartment. You lock the door behind you and place the keys back inside your bag before hanging it on the coat rack that stands on your left. 

In the few steps it takes for you to reach the living room, your heart beats just a bit faster than it was before. You were always nervous coming back home, terrified to find the familiar couch empty. 

As soon as you see the back of Ten’s head you breathe out a sigh of relief, making the man himself turn around to face you. “Baby! You’re home!” His voice is happy and a smile plays on his face, but all you can focus on is the deep gash above his left eyebrow. He gets up from the couch and rounds it’s corner to come greet you. 

He leans in for a kiss but you stop him, frown on your face. “That needs to be disinfected.” You state matter of factly as you inspect the cut in closer proximity. “Yeah, I know.” Ten says as he playfully rolls his eyes. “But can I atleast get a kiss first?” The frown stays etched on your face and you shake your head no. “Bathroom, now” 

Ten obliges, albeit begrudgingly and makes his way over to your shared bathroom. You take off your shoes and jacket before following him. Ten is already sitting on the counter, his pink lips in a slight pout. Ignoring his expression,  you rummage through the drawer under the sink. You pull out a first aid kit and a washcloth you keep reserved for times like these and get to work. 

A wince leaves Ten’s mouth as you press a cotton ball doused in disinfectant to his cut. Your eyebrows are drawn together harshly in concentration. “Can you relax your face? My forehead hurts just from looking at you.” You give him a pointed glare and intentionally push the cotton ball into his wound with a little more pressure. “Ow! Hey!” Ten exclaims in protest but you just shoot him another glare, pulling out a butterfly bandage and placing it over the cut. “Ok, maybe I deserved that.” He chuckles as his hand comes up to run through his black tresses. You clean the few trails of dried blood off his face with the dampened cloth and then move to step back.

“Ok. I’m done.” Ten hops down off the counter and a strong wince escapes him as he does so. Alarmed, your eyes search his body for any sign of further injuries. There's no blood visible, at least, but you don't fail to notice how one of his arms is protectively glued to the his torso on the right. Moving the arm away despite Ten’s flurry of objections, you pull up his shirt to reveal a patch of greens and blues painting the skin near his ribs. Your first worry is that his ribs are broken so you press your hand to the area, careful to put pressure on only a certain spot in case they were actually fractured. “Does this hurt?” You ask as you glance up to see Ten’s reaction. “A bit, yeah.” 

You feel around the area, but his ribs seem fine, the bruising only affecting the skin above them. All damage looked to be just on the outside. You breathe another sigh of relief as you meet eyes with your boyfriend. There’s a sheepish smile on his face. “Did you know your hands are cold as fuck?” You roll your eyes at him. “You ask that everytime I’m done fixing you up, Ten. I think you know the answer by now.”

He takes ahold of your hands and presses his own over them, rubbing slightly and blowing warm air into them to try and up their temperature eve just a little. You close your eyes at the comforting feeling, all the tiredness that had been washed away at the sight of Ten suddenly seeping back into your bones. A small silence surrounds you two for a while.

“Now can I kiss you?” There’s a light laugh that bubbles out of your throat despite your previous anger and your eyes flutter open. You lean up slightly to capture his lips with yours and his fingers come up to cup your cheeks as he smiles into the kiss. You’re always too tired to stay mad at him, and besides, you had given up on the futile arguments you once had over Ten’s nightly activities long ago.

You pull away with a shake of your head. “You’re lucky I love you. Because if I didn't, i would definitely not put up with this shit.” Ten laughs and together you slip out of the dimly lit bathroom, first aid kit laying forgotten next to the sink. 

Your chin rests on top of your hands, your tired eyes following Ten’s figure as he flits around the kitchen, determined to prepare you a salad since “it’s not good to go to bed on an empty stomach”. You’re amazed at the energy with which he moves, it seems as though despite how much he would work or how little he would sleep, a certain spark of energy never left his body.

He recounts tales of his day at the volunteer center as he starts chopping up the vegetables. Ten did in fact, have a day job. His work at the volunteer center entailed anything from volunteering at animal clinics down to nursing homes. Your boyfriend loved what he did, yes, but it didn't exactly pay the bills. And as a nurse, you don't exactly have very deep pockets either. Hence, the fights. 

In some way, ten had also grown attached to the world of underground matches after so many years of being wrapped up inside it. He had been boxing long before you had met him. It was crazy to think but, some of the guys who worked there had become Ten’s friends, or more like extended family over the years. You had met most of them, and they were all nice, definitely not people you’d expect to meddle in that kind of business.

Then again, anyone who met Ten wouldn't ever come to think that he fought underground boxing matches for a living. 

The bowl of salad clattering down before you lifts your droopy eyelids with a jolt. “Eat your salad, and then it’s off to bed, ok?” You nod slowly, taking the fork Ten hands you and starting to eat. Ten moves around the counter to stand behind you as you sit on the bar stool. His hands come up to massage at your shoulders. You can't help but let out a moan at how great it feels to have some sort of relief to the tension in your muscles. “Whoa there. Are we gonna have to take this to the bedroom?”

You swat at his hand lightly. “Too tired.” You whine, voice slightly muffled by the chunk of salad in your mouth. “ I just wanna use the bed for sleeping.” Ten lets out a chuckle and plants a gentle kiss to the side of your neck. “ I know.”

After your bowl is cleaned out, the two of you get ready for bed. Ten lets you use the bathroom first. Your body's dangerously low energy level makes it hard to not fall asleep right there in the shower, but you brave through it. You rinse the rest of your toothpaste out of your mouth before stepping into your bedroom, already clothed in your cozy pyjamas. Ten presses a quick kiss to your forehead in passing as he heads to get ready himself. 

You flop onto the bed and wriggle around to get under the covers, sighing in content once you embrace the comfort of your sheets. The dark curtains of your room are drawn closed to keep out the rays of the sun that is surely about to rise, and you find yourself grateful for the darkness that surrounds you like a blanket.

You've nearly drifted off to sleep as you feel the bed dip ever so slightly behind you, your boyfriend clearly trying not to disturb you. Out of sheer habit, you turn around and wrap one arm around his waist, while settling your head on his chest, resting just above his heartbeat. You're ready to drift off into sleep, but an odd thought that’s been swimming around in your head for pops up in your mind before you do.

"You know, sometimes I think you just started dating me because I'm a nurse." 

Your voice comes out in a sleepy mumble and you think it takes a while for Ten to truly figure out what you had said. He snickers lightly once he does. "What, so that you could properly patch me up after my fights?" 

Eyes closed, you nod against his chest.The vibrations of his laugh run through you. "Anyone can patch up a few bruises and cuts, you don't need a medical degree for that. I started dating you because I liked you." 

Mind hazy as you slip in and out of consciousness, you only manage a hum in response. 

"And do you still like me now?" 

"I don't like you, silly. I love you." 

You smile to yourself at that and snuggle further into your boyfriend's side as his arm comes to wrap firmly around your waist. 

"I love you too."

The city outside your windows awakes to a new day as you lie in Ten's arms, the force of sleep finally leading you into your own little world of dreams.