#caregiver shenanigans

[mylittlepimp]

So I'm a respite provider and an elderly caregiver.

My client just said out of context, "I don't know why but sometimes I just have a weak moment."

And I'm immediately like (in my head) *lol same*

Then my client says, "my brain just goes dumb sometimes.

*Me too*

Listen you gotta find humor where you can...

[wordy-little-witch]

I feel like I’m getting annoying with all these agere asks but I’m in a weird headspace rn and so my favs now have to regress and be happy so I can sleep better and maybe someone else gets a kick outta it I dunno? Anyways

I still love the idea that Buggy’s regression is mostly unrelated to wanting to wear certain clothes or long for certain toys or even a specific kind of food or such, I like to think it’s very „No. aesthetic“ type of regression, where you probably couldn’t tell at first glance and it’s not as easy as just giving him kiddie stuff and he’ll be happy. (Not to knock on anyone who does like the aesthetics and kiddie stuff just to be clear.) so he actually doesn’t have a bunch of toys and plushies and such and doesn’t really ask for them either.

…. THAT BEING SAID

Buggy should most definitely have an absolutely gigantic plush Fruitwani. Massive thing. It’s almost as big as Crocodile himself and that’s not counting the tail. A complete impulse purchase by Crocodile as well, being separated from his husbands for a while, having to delay reuniting them for another two days because of unforeseen circumstances and some unfortunate encounters with some Marines. Talking on the Denden to both of them and learning Buggy has had some bad regression days behind him. He doesn’t even let himself slip fully, there’s still a part of him that knows why Crocodile isn’t back with them, so he tries to stay in a big headspace when talking to him, but inwardly Buggy just wants to cry badly and curl up into Mihawks arms all day because Croccy isn’t home and he doesn’t LIKE it when people aren’t with him for too long because they may never come back. It’s a mess. Crocodiles suffering, Mihawk is suffering and Buggy is absolutely miserable.

So when Crocodile spots the giant plush toy sitting in a store window, surrounded by smaller plushtoys, his mind is immediately made up. Yes that one. Just for decoration? Not for sale? Well it is now. No. No that can be arranged. No the price doesn’t matter, he will leave this island with this absolute beast of a plush toy no matter how many Beri he has to spend or who he’ll have to harm if that what it takes. He WILL have that toy.

Buggy still clings to Crocodile more than usual when he gets back, no plush could ever replace the connection he was craving…. But after he has settled down a bit more the plush actually becomes on of his favorite toys. Not even just when he’s regressed, he just loves this thing. Has spooked several people wanting to talk business with Crossguild coming into the room finding chairman Buggy lounging on, what appears to be, a full sized Fruitwani , it just looks that convincing at first glance. For Buggy it’s not only cool and flashy, it’s a very, literally, big reminder that Crocodile cares about him in his own way, even when on some days the most he’ll get from him is a good morning kiss and the rest of the day is filled with snark towards him until he bids him and Mihawk goodnight again. It just means a lot to him to know he’s loved even when he’s being vulnerable or difficult.

Also yes, Crocodile also loves this thing and Mihawk has been on the suffering end of him and Buggy spooning the damn thing at night while he goes woefully unembraced on his side of the bed „ah yes, just me, my fiances, and the eight foot tall Applewani plush one of them threatened a shop owner over.“

Olay lemme preface this with some things

1) you're not annoying at all, and if anyone says you are, I'll eat their knees

2) I get it - honestly posting content for Buggy specifically for age regression was nerve wracking bc like. Idek really. But giving things I experience to characters I love is so cathartic, and I've spent more than a few nights just.... daydreaming about stuff like that just to be happy and comfy and cozy. No judgement on this blog, of that I promise you ♡♡♡

3) agere is valid every and any way, aesthetic or not, visible or not, it's doesn't matter, only the ways people feel. If you're safe, happy, and not harming anyone, you're doing so perfect and I love you and am proud of you

Now with my soap box stuff done, HOLY HECK YES YES PLZ I LOVE THIS I ADORE I NEED IT, GODS YOUR MIND!!!!! (/pos)

Buggy isn't a typical person, head to toe, inside out, he's Flashy but also incredibly subtle. His regression isn't some cookie cutter type of deal, he's wild and slightly feral in some ways, he's unusual and perfect and precious. His idea of a good time is knife games, climbing (everything is sight, nothing is sacred), explosions, and playing poker. He has a special rope that's just for him to tie and play with ((and occasionally chew on, though Mihawk has a mild heart attack every time he sees it while Crocodile cringes into the next plane of existence in disgust)).

At a glance, not much changes, but Mihawk can feel the change in Haki, and Crocodile can see the microscopic things there when Buggy shifts. He holds things differently, stims more visibly, just seems bouncier and even more animated yet somehow much more calm. The best explanation comes from Buggy himself in describing the shifting between his headspaces. "Some things turn off and others pop on open."

The worst thing to Buggy in general is a perception of loss or abandonment. Logically, he knows it isn't the case, and he can cling to that mostly, but experience has taught him that distance does NOT, in fact, make hearts grow fonder - at least, not for him. The one and only time he felt it may have applied - and this is a very tentative maybe - was when he reunited with his crew, made into Alvida's image and her decisions. There was no war over crew nor ship, just an allowance to slip back in as if he'd never quite left. The only changes or acknowledgement was Alvida's slightly awkward, brusque, yet lingering touch to his arm when she gave it a squeeze and remarked that "handling these hoodlums solo is not my idea if a good time." He was needed, and that did wonders for his security but not so much for the mental health.

Crocodile and Mihawk don't need him - he's the face man, sure, and he's got a talent for manipulation, speeches, rallying men. But at the end of the day, they outshine him despite their proclivities for the shadows. It's a juxtaposition. It's safe. It's wonderful, and Buggy still struggles to trust in the reliability there.

Logically, he knows- Croc is out, managing something for work, he's coming back, he will be back, he's not alone or abandoned or suddenly useless and worthless.

But he still feels it all.

And falling into his headspace to decompress is always harder when he's upset or scared, it only really works when he boils over, and the meltdown that would lead to is counterproductive. So he's waffling between the two, assured only by the calls, by Mihawk, and the few other places he can get some semblance normalcy and security.

When Crocodile does come home, a comically large plush toy over his shoulder, Buggy's already practically vibrating and is completely beyond the point of words in a positive way. He just squeals, lunges and the cushion of sand catching his weight is warm and safe and cozy and he clings, a clown themed koala, right there without shame.

The plush doesn't come up until later.

When someone inevitably asks - and, interestingly enough, it is Mihawk who does - Croc is honest. "Thought the clown would like it for longer trios like this."

The toy is big, yes, and also decently heavy, moreso than even it's size may seem. It's partially weighted in the tummy, legs and jaw, a display piece more than a toy for playing with, and Buggy is absolutely obsessed. It's Croco-sized, and it's a 'wani, and it's soft and cute and heavy. He loves it.

His first order of business is immediately dropping down to scramble under it and just... going limp. He wriggles a little, humming softly before falling still, cheek squished into his forearms, hair a mess but he's smiling, he's relaxed, he's comfy and happy and safe and with his boyfriends' Haki on the edges if his muffled, fuzzy awareness, he truly unwinds for the first time in over a week.

Crocodile carefully tugs his hair from under the toy with his hook, and Mihawk hands him a little fidget toy or a rope.

The toy is named later on, as demanded by a tiny jester with a frankly lethal set of baby doll eyes and quivering lip. Really, he could topple nations with that face, the other two swear.

Mihawk simply has to make peace with Addie the Applewani Cuddle Buddy having a semi permanent spot in the bed.

[bebbie-bilinski]

CG!Derek Hale Moodboard

[righthandman-martyn]

so am little rn...an i jus got done doodling tango!!! and i showed my cg!! and they really liked it which made me really happy!!! and then they asked it to make it a profile for smth and i almost cried cause My aRT..?????!@?$%#!% THATS CRAZYYY!!!! AND THEIR TANGO SECRET LIFE ALTER MADE IT HEART'S SIMPLY PLURAL PFP ASDNGKNFDH THE ART IS THIS:

[ashyblondwaves]

Good Morning

Husband is at the store getting more paint because he underestimated how much trimming we have (btw I told him to get two but anyway), got mom showered and dressed, got her meds and coffee and even went and picked up some prescriptions for her. And it’s not even 10am.

What’s your day looking like?

[icarusredwings]

Update: Vanessa came and gave him THE LOOK and suddenly out of no where Wade was an angel and ate all his cereal.

She then rewarded him with an entire bag of marshmallows and now Logan is staring at them like

Logan: Really!? Why are you rewarding bad behaviour?

Ness: What? He ate, didn't he?

Wade: And left no crumbs.

Ness: Slay quee- Wait... 🤨

Logan: You left a lot of crumbs. They're all over the floor!

Wade: Im just a baby 😌

Logan: 😠 You are not a baby!! You scream that at us all the time!!

Ness: You literally had a tantrum the other day because I called you babycakes and you said you weren't a baby and want big boy cake

Wade: Oh shit did I say that? Uhhh- I mean.... Wanna play Kitty?

Logan: *snatches his marshmallows* No 😡 You made it weird, wade.

Ness: And now you're grounded.

Wade: Aw man :"(

A snippet for @gloopunknown

Wade: *Pushes his lucky charms onto the floor* Kitty, i'm done.

Logan, about to loose his temper: Wade.. you are not done. You barley ate today. Now you need to eat.

Wade: I want marshmellows.

Logan, holding the bridge of his nose: No.

Wade: Why?!

Logan: Because SOMEONE ate all of the marshmellows out of the entire box. Remember?

Wade: Who?

Logan, grumbling under his breath: Ohmygod- just eat your fucking cereal.

Wade: *glances at puppins eating the cereal on the floor* Can't. Those are dirty now. And I don't like those cereals.

Logan: Then what do you want!?

Wade: *Loading screen*....... Marshmellows!

Logan: Im not going to the store just to buy ano-! You know what? Fine. Fine! Finish your food and we'll go to store.

Wade: *looks at his empty plate* But I dont have any.

Logan, whos vein is popping out of his forehead: What do you want then? And don't say fucking marshmellows.

Wade: Hm...Cereal!

Logan: *pours cereal*

Wade: *shoves it on the ground* I dont like that cereal. They're bullshit.

Logan: Don't say that!

Wade: Why?

Logan: You're not old enough

Wade: Thats fucking bullshit.

Logan: Im done! Done! Im calling your mother!

[awkness]

Written in the Stars

Platonic Yandere Older Brother & Younger Selkie Genderneutral Reader

Your home life is tense at the best of times, with your mother fickle and moody and your father more concerned with her than his children. It would be complete misery without your brother, Cillian, who looked after you the way your parents should have, a bright light in your gloomy days.

But as family secrets come to the surface and your life starts to unravel, you're forced to wonder if your brother is any better than the parents that raised him.

Content Warnings: confinement, forced marriage (not between reader), unhealthy relationships, abandonment issues, mentions of mental illness, child abuse, child endangerment, isolation, death, and general yandere shenanigans. Let me know if I missed anything

Word Count: 10.5k

Authors Note: I played it pretty fast and loose with this one so I have no idea when exactly this takes place, but it's somewhere before the industrial revolution in Ireland. So if you're wondering why there's no modern technology, that's why lol also this turned out way longer then it was supposed to, I have no idea why, it was supposed to be a quick 2k story and then it just got away from me. Whoops. Also the mother and fathers story is loosely based on traditional fairytale of fish wives and selkies. I remember reading a couple and thinking "wouldn't it be messed up if they had children?" And. Well. You can tell me how messed up it turned out lol

You're sick. You were born sick, and you always will be. It's all you remember.

Your first memory was of little four year old you wandering out of the house. Father was fishing, Cillian was tending to the animals and Mother was resting because of sickness as per usual, so there was no one to stop you. No concerned caregiver to bustle you back into the house and scold you for your carelessness as you pouted for being denied your will.

You simply walked out the front door.

You had no understanding of what you were doing. Just a unceasing tug propelling you out and way from the house until the air smelled of salt, and you could hear the faint crashing of waves steadily growing louder.

Then there was the sea.

Your memories get fuzzy then, as your mind grew clouded by pure, blinding need. But you do remember the feel of grass slowly turning to sand under your bare feet. The way the rolling of the waves enveloped your mind completely, your eyes unable to move away.

Then your feet hit the cold of the water, and you snap awake, looking around, finally aware of where you are, and how far away from home it was. Confused and on the verge of panic, you try to call out for your brother only for your eyes to be pulled back into the blue, and all thoughts are gone, and you feel a deep, primordial comfort, the same comfort you imagine children feel when being embraced by their mother.

You step forward.

First, it's up to your feet, then your knees, then your waist. The salt water saps away at your body heat the deeper you go, but you don't mind it, you don't mind anything at all. After all, you're right where you're meant to be.

The salt water is almost up to your chest when you're swept off your feet and taken away from the water. You begin to thrash and cry, a horrible, searing pain in your chest at being separated from the sea, like a part of your being was torn from your body. Your cries are so loud, you don't even realize that it's Cillian who took you away until he turns you toward him and starts yelling at you.

The specifics of it are lost on you, but it's not hard to guess, given the circumstances. What you do remember is his young, acne covered face contorted in unfamiliar anger that you've never seen before or since.

It might have frightened you more if it wasn't for the immense pain and loss you were feeling.

But yelling wasn't enough for him. He starts shaking you by the shoulders and demands why you were there in the first place. You were still crying, nothing but running snot and big, hot tears, but you managed to wail an answer, even if it wasn't the one he wanted.

Put me back, put me back. I'm supposed to be there. It hurts. Put me back.

The shaking stops, and so does the yelling. There's nothing but your loud, desperate sobs as you beg to walk back into the sea.

Without warning, he picked you up and began to make the trip home.

You started to thrash again, increasing loud "NO NO NO"s running out of your mouth as your soft, weak body tries to slip out, but his grip is iron. He only squeezes you tighter until you eventually tire.

You spend the rest of the trip shivering in his arms, finally able to feel the cold again.

When you arrive home, he ushers you into your room and tells you to change out of your sea-soaked clothes as he heads towards another part of the house.

You obey, more out of habit then anything else, your mind still numb. When you finish, you sit and wait until he comes and grabs you, taking you into your parent's room.

Mother was sitting up in bed.

Cillian placed you beside her, and for a strange, uncanny moment, you stare into her unblinking, dark eyes. It's all you can do.

This moment last so long, you think she has fallen into one of her stupors. But she blinks, and the spell is broken. With her same blank face, she pats the bed. You tentatively comply, taking your place next to her.

"Cillian has said you've been to the ocean. Is this true?"

Her voice is soft, sweet, slow, and so foreign on your ears.

You nod, refusing to look into her eyes again.

"Tell me, what was it like?"

Your little mouth twist into a grimace. Something deep in you tells your mind to keep silent.

Your brother steps in.

"They were going to drown, Ma! They said-"

"Hush, Cillian."

She didn't spare him a glance, eyes trained on you.

Her hand snakes over your face, her cold flesh cupping your face as she turns your head to face her. Her eyes burrow into yours, and you can't help but feel small and weak. You have no more will to resist.

"Why did you go down there?"

"It was calling me."

"What was?"

"The sea, it was singing to me. I needed to go to it. I couldn't help myself"

For the first time in your life, you saw your mother smile.

It was a disturbed smile. The kind that didn't reach her eyes, that looked more like bared teeth then a sincere display of joy.

"I knew it. Your father tried to hide it, but I knew the moment you were born. You're just like me."

She let you go, and without another word, laid down, with her back turned to her children.

The entire thing disturbed and confused you, and you immediately looked to Cillian for explanation and reassurance.

Instead, you saw him frozen, a look of terror on his face as he stared at Mother's form.

But then he caught your eye, schooled his features into something more neutral, and carried you out of the room, out of the house, and into the sheep pen, where you wordlessly helped him take care of the animals until your Father came home.

Father was much more laissez-faire about the whole ordeal. Cillian explained everything to him, nerves alight after Mothers declaration, and to your Fathers credit, he listened patiently, never once interrupting the younger boys nervous speech. When Cillian was done, Father turned to you, and in a disturbingly casual manner, explained to you that your mother had passed on her sickness to you.

When you asked when it would go away, he laughed until Cillian yelled at him to stop.

That was when you got the news that though it wasn't as potent as your mother's illness, it was still permanent. You would live and die with this affliction.

You stood there dumbly as your father idly ruffled your head and told you that there were worse things to have. You think he was about to tell you to get ready for bed before Cillian exploded on him.

It was obvious you had no place in the conversation anymore, and you tried to make your way to your room before Cillian snatched you and took you to his room, his face red with tears.

You slept in his bed that night.

The following day, you were no longer allowed to stay in the house and play like you usually did. Instead, Cillian made you follow him wherever he went, not letting you stray from his line of sight. When your father came home that following day, he brought with him a bell at Cillians' request, which you were made to wear at all times, even as you slept.

Slowly, more symptoms began to manifest. At times, your mind would fog over, unable to focus on anything for periods of time. The sound of waves would ring through your ear, though you were nowhere near the shore. And occasionally, dreams of the sea would haunt you. Beautiful, painful dreams that would leave you crying in your wake, which in turn woke up poor Cillian. But ever the loving brother, he would go to your side and sooth you until you fell asleep again. In the case of especially distressing dreams, he would sleep with you, and no nightmares would dare plague you when Cillian was with you.

And, on very rare instances, you would feel it again. That same tug that changed your world, that demanded you return to the ocean where you belong. Your mind would switch off, and your feet would move of their own accord towards the shore. But you would misstep, or trip, or some other mishap would occur, and the bell would ring. The spell would break just long enough for you to run back towards Cillian and tell him what was happening before you slipped away again. He'd take you in his arms and mutter soothing words, keeping you close until the episode passed.

But those were few, and grew fewer as you grew older. Most days, the worst of your symptoms were brain fog, which was not pleasant but much better than walking towards a cold death in the sea.

No, most days were rather enjoyable. You would wake up to Cillian making breakfast and wait to eat until he finished serving your mother, who only ate in her room. Then you would follow him around as he did his errands for the day, sometimes helping, sometimes busying yourself with your own task. If he got done early, he would read to you or help you with your writing. He used to try and help with your arithmetic, but it became obvious that he wasn't good enough with numbers to teach you. Then, if your mind was clear, you would help with dinner and sneak bites whenever Cillian wasn't looking. Dinner would then be ready, and Father would usually be home by then, give you both polite greetings, and then he would take two plates and make his way to his room to spend the rest of the evening with Mother, as you and your brother spent the evening with each other until bed.

True, there were times when it felt like you were being smothered by Cillian and his constant worry and argue that you didn't need the constant monitoring. Sometimes, these arguments would get the both of you irritated beyond reason with each other, having you both oscillating between petty bickering and the silent treatment.

But those were few and far in between. Most of that time was marked by the games you would play with him when you should have been working, by the silly songs he taught you when you got bored of watching him work, of the gentle coaxing he would give when your mind wandered from you. Those moments when he would take you into the field in the middle of the night and teach you about the constellations, or help you make flower crowns, which he would gladly wear until they withered and fell apart. Those days he'd grow morose about one of the many worries he had, and you would comfort him the only way a child like him could be comforted: hugging him until he felt better. Or those dark moments when you were reduced to tears by your despair at your illness, afraid that one day it would grow worse, and you would end up like your mother. He would hold you tight while crying himself and reassure you that it would never happen. And if it did, he would be there to care for you and keep you safe until the end if his days.

But this wasn't meant to last. As the years went by, Cillian was slowly coming into his adulthood and needed to find a way to make a living for himself. Father had talked to him about teaching him how to be a fisherman, but he wholeheartedly rejected the idea. Instead, he went to town and asked for an apprenticeship with the local carpenter.

The first few weeks, he brought you with him, claiming it still wasn't safe for you to stay at home without him.

Though you loathed the thought of being treated like an unruly toddler and not a child old enough to keep house by themself, the thought intrigued you. You couldn't remember the last time you got to see the village, and the mere thought caused butterflies in your stomach. New places, faces, sights, and smells... perhaps you would enjoy this.

Unfortunately, reality had different plans for you.

It became obvious that you and your brother were not welcome in the village. There was never any violent confrontation or hurtful words thrown your way, but instead a lack of interaction. The other children avoided your presence, and the villagers avoided you and your brothers gaze, only speaking to you when polite conduct forced them to. You could swear you heard them gossiping about you, talking about "cursed blood" and something to do with the sea, yet every time you came up to them, they would act like nothing was said.

The carpenter himself was much kinder, but his time was spent teaching your brother his craft, and you were left to your own devices, more lonely than ever.

After the first few days of begging, Cillian finally relented, and you stayed home with Mother.

The following weeks were painfully uneventful, with you taking over Cillians chores and adjusting to the new workload. Your brain fog made it difficult, causing complications, frustrations, and occasional minor injuries, which Cillian would fret over when he got home. Not that he needed those to worry, as every day he came home, he would rush through the house, his face frantic with worry. He only relaxed when he found you, and you reassured him that nothing had happened, and you were okay.

By the fourth week, you couldn't tell him that anymore, because Mother had begun taking trips outside of the house.

It was the middle of the day, and you were doing some cleaning around the house when the door to your parents' room creaked open, and Mother came out. You called out to her, but she ignored you, steadily making her way out the front door and towards the shore.

You trailed after her a safe distance away, unsure of what else to do. You were always slightly wary of her, as her presence was always a disquieting one in your home. But a vague sense of familial duty kept you from letting her wander unaccompanied.

When the shore finally came into your view, she was already on it, knelt down in the sand, in the company of an adult brown seal.

Upon this image, you felt it again. That pull towards the sea, weaker than before, but just as familiar. You tried to stop, but your feet began to move against your will. Terrified, you used the last of your free will to clench your fist, digging your nails into your palms until they punctured your skin. Only then, the spell broke, and you were able to run back home, uncaring of what would happen on the shore.

An hour or so later, she came back, a faint smile on her face as she lazily wandered back to her room.

Not long after, your brother came home, and you told him everything.

His face sunk further and further as you spoke, and when you finished, he looked like a man twice his age. He took your hand gently into his, and all but begged you not to follow her again.

"To lose Mother would be sad, to lose you would be unspeakable. I couldn't forgive myself if something happened to you."

He then made you promise to not tell Father anything that happened, and you readily agreed.

But then Mother went to visit the beach the next day. And then the next. And the day after, and the one after that, until it became common place. The visits also grew longer, to the point where you and Cillian were worried she wouldn't be home when Father returned from fishing.

That day didn't take long to come.

She had left. You had worked. Cillian came home. You both cooked dinner. Then Father came home, grabbed dinner for both him and Mother, and headed towards his room.

Then the plates shattered on the floor.

He rushed out with the eyes of a madman and interrogated the both of you on where Mother was. Cillian answered for the both of you, saying she had felt in good spirits and had gone on a walk. Your father lost it on him, struck him across the face, and let out a string of curses before marching out the front door, leaving Cillian on the floor and you crying in his wake.

You did your best to help nurse Cillians swelling face as he did his best to console your silent weeping.

Little time had passed before you heard Fathers stomping and yelling once again, with the stern voice of your Mother mixed in. You both quickly took shelter in Cillians room before they made it through the door.

The arguing continued as they went inside and into their rooms, the walls doing little to muffle their voices. It lasted for ten minutes, twenty, thirty, and then an hour, with no signs of stopping. You held onto your brother as you both tried to wait out the storm happening in your house until Cillian decided that enough was enough.

He gently nudged your shoulder, then looked towards his bedroom window, and then back down towards you.

"You want to leave?"

You practically jumped at the opportunity.

He climbed through the window before helping you down, taking your hand and leading you towards the field where the sheep grazed. It was summer, so the night was comfortably warm, a full moon lighting your way. Your bare feet carefully tread the grass, making sure not to step on any burs or briars hidden in the greenery.

He stopped at a small flower patch that the both of used to love lazing around in before he had to take his apprenticeship. Cowslips, wild garlic, and wood sorrels dotted the area. He laid down and looked towards the sky, and you followed his lead, laying down next to him.

"Do you remember any of the constellations I've taught you?"

"Of course!" You say, a little indignant. How could you forget those nights of stargazing?

You search the sky, easily finding a few.

"Lets see, there's Aquarius...Capricorn... and I think that one's Gemini?"

You point in the direction of the cluster of stars, and he brings his head closer to see where your fingers led.

"Yes, that's the one. You know, some people believe the stars control your fate. Something about being born in a certain time of year connects you to certain constellations, and they determine everything about your life, even when you die."

Your brows scrunched together in confusion. You knew you were pretty sheltered, only having your brother, your father, and various books for news of the outside world, but this seemed rather confusing.

"What are you talking about?"

"Well, I don't know too much about it myself. Some spinster stopped me in the street a few days back and asked me if I wanted my fortune read to me. I didn't know what she meant, so she explained to me how everything about our birth, when and where you were born, determines what will happen to you. She offered to tell me about mine if I paid her."

"And what did she say?"

"Nothing, her fees were too expensive, so I left."

"Boring."

He let out a chuckle. "Maybe."

The conversations then lapsed into silence, your eyes lazily gliding among the stars until he spoke again. His voice was hardly above a whisper.

"I wouldn't have asked for it, even if I had the money. Something about the whole thing didn't sit right with me. I mean, if your whole life is written out the moment you're born, what's the purpose of it all? All your struggles, all your accomplishments, completely meaningless. And those that are destined for a horrible life, what's the point in living, if it will only end in disaster?"

You turn over to look at him, his face almost imperceptible in the faint moon light as he stares up at the sky. His hands restlessly fidget with his sleeves as he starts talking again.

"No, I can't believe that. It's too cruel. Our feelings, our thoughts, our actions, they matter. We're more than our birth."

He turns to look at you, his eyes soft and a faint, an almost apologetic smile on his lips.

"I guess what I'm trying to say is, I know a better life seems impossible now, but it'll all be okay in the end. I promise."

You nod back with a smile. It's always been easy to believe the things your brother says, even if you know otherwise.

You both turn back up towards the sky, watching the stars until Cillian got up and told you it was time to head home.

The next morning, things only got worse.

It all started with you waking up in Cillians' bed, confused and disoriented, before remembering that you had refused to creep back to your own room, too afraid to run into your own parents.

Next, you noticed the sun was higher in the sky than it was usually when you woke up. Blearily, you realized you slept in late.

So you decided to wake your brother, still sleeping on the floor, and inform him of the situation. After a few minutes of calling his name, you finally decided to shake him awake. He grumpily protested the whole ordeal and was about to go back to bed until you informed him of the time.

He then threw off his thin blanket, sprang up off the floor, and opened to door with you following behind.

Until he stopped.

You peered from behind your brother and saw your father sitting at the table.

Shouldn't he be away by now?

He gave a smile to the both of you.

"Good morning, children. Why don't you take a seat? I've already prepared breakfast."

For a moment, Cillian didn't move, and neither did you. Briefly, you contemplated turning around and taking refuge in his room again, but then he started to cautiously make his way forward, and you reluctantly followed.

You and Cillian took the only two seats left, both located close to Father. You distantly wondered where Mothers chair had gone.

Your brother started to place food on his plate, and you grabbed a slice of buttered bread, immediately taking a bite out of it. The sooner you could leave the table, the better.

Father grabbed nothing. He simply watched the both of you, the same smile from before still plastered on his face.

It was only now that you could make out the dark circles under his eyes and his unkempt hair. You could also see he was still wearing the same work clothes from yesterday. You don't think he slept a wink.

After a tense, quiet moment of watching the both of you eat, he turned towards your brother and began to speak.

"Cillian, my boy, are you still going into town today?"

He avoided his gaze as he replied.

"Yes, sir. I can't afford to skip any lessons."

"But you're already late. Surely, you couldn't do any more harm by skipping today?"

"I can't, sir. It would be disrespectful to miss an entire day without reason."

"I expected as much. I suppose it can't be helped."

Father gave a thoughtful hum before turning towards you.

"Well, I guess that leaves you, then."

You froze as your heart rate picked up. You briefly caught Cillians eyes, and saw your own panic reflected back.

Father continued on, like he hadn't noticed.

"I need to ask a favor of you. Your mother has been getting worse, as the both of you seem to know already."

He pointedly shot your brother a look before returning his gaze to you.

"And she needs her rest. Unfortunately, she does not want to rest. That's why I've taken it upon myself to make sure she does."

He gestured over towards the door of the room Mother lay, and you saw the missing chair propped up securely against the knob.

"All you need to do is make sure she stays inside. Don't let her out for anything. Not for food, or water, or even the bathroom. No matter what she says or does, you do not open that door."

He then reached out and placed a large, cold, and loose hand on your shoulder. It took everything in you not to shake it off.

"Am I understood?"

You nodded rapidly. "Yes, Father."

His smile grew wider and he gave your shoulder a pat before retracting his arm.

"Good. Because if she isn't in there when I come back, I will be very disappointed."

With that, he slapped his legs before pushing himself off the chair.

"Well, I'd best be off now. Take care, I'll be back as soon as I can."

He grabbed his coat, put on his shoes, and headed out the door.

After the sound of his footsteps subsided, you quietly got up and headed towards your parents' door.

Your hand had only come to touch the chair before Cillian grabbed you and pulled you away.

You wrestled out of his grip and turned to face him before his hands landed on your shoulders as he gave you a slight shake, his hands warm and unmovable.

"What do you think you're doing?" He hissed.

"What do you think you're doing?" You countered.

"Keeping you from making a mistake. Did you not listen to Father at all?"

"I did, and that's exactly why I'm doing it. You know this can't be right, Cillian, he can't keep her locked up."

"Of course this is awful, that isn't the point." He spat out.

You recoiled as far back as his hold would allow.

That seemed to make him pause he decided to close his eyes and take a deep breath, his features softening a touch. His voice was less harsh, but just as urgent as he spoke again.

"I know you don't want to be a part of this. I don't, either. But we don't have a choice here. With Father becoming more... unpredictable, it's better to play along with whatever he wants. Just until I can save enough money to get us out of here, okay?"

"But what about Mother?"

"I don't care about Mother, I care about you. Your safety goes above everything else."

You turn away, your eyes growing wet.

"I don't like it."

"You don't have to like it, you just have to listen."

You wipe your eyes. He lets out a sigh and loosens his grip.

"Why don't you stay out of the house for today? Focus on tending to the sheep and chickens, or tend to the garden, or whatever you want. It'll be easier on you if you don't have to hear her, okay?"

You didn't move.

"(Y/N), please, look at me." He said quietly.

Against your better judgment, you did.

His face was fallen, his eyes starting to water like yours were. An unwilling feeling of guilt formed in your heart.

"Promise me you won't let Mother out." He pleaded.

You nodded, even though the thought of going along this made you sick.

He gave you a genuine smile.

"Thank you."

Cillian left soon after, and you tittered about in the house, trying to keep yourself busy. You thought about going outside the house and focusing on taking care of the animals like he suggested, but your guilt wouldn't allow you to leave Mother.

You had quickly come to regret that decision as not even an hour after Cillians departure, Mother tried to open the door.

Simple attempts at opening the door had rapidly grown more frantic until she was pounding on the wood. The sound encompassed the whole house, and you could only stand and stare like a trapped animal, torn between your duty to your mother and your duty to your brother.

And then she stopped.

And the whole house was quiet.

For some reason, you found the silence profoundly more disturbing than her hysterical attempts to break the door, and you half longed to hear them again.

As you debated calling out to her, the silence was broken by the sound of glass shattering.

The only glass in the room was her window.

You rushed out of the front door and ran around the side of the house to where the window was, only to see her exiting through where the glass used to be. He dress was torn, and her arms and legs were covered in minor cuts that dotted her in red.

"Mother!" You shout. "Are you okay-"

She turned towards you, came to an abrupt halt, and stared.

Her dark, dead eyes bore into you, leaving a weight on your chest you had never felt before. She knows, you thought. You didn't know what she knew or if there was anything to know, but it was the only thought in your head as she looked at you. She knows. And it made you wither before her.

She turned away and headed towards the tool shed. You followed her at a distance.

She emerged from the shed with a shovel and walked towards a small group of trees, of which she stopped in front of the old, brittle husk of what used to be a mighty oak.

And she started to dig.

It was obvious she was struggling. She had done little manual labor in her life, mostly content with wasting away in her room most days, so she had little muscle. She huffed and puffed, and even as far away as you were, you could see her arms shake with every shovel full of dirt. A foot into the ground, and you could see her hands start to bleed, the delicate skin tearing against the rough wood of the shovel.

But her face had stayed just as determined as it had been when she started, and her pace never slowed. As you watched, you could swear that not even hell could stop her.

You stood there and watched her toil knee-deep in the dirt, wondering what could drive such a woman to go to these lengths when you heard the sound of metal hitting metal.

With frantic movements, she began to shovel faster, then abandoned the tool altogether and desperately clawed at the dirt with her fingers.

Then she began to pull.

One tug. Then another. And another.

And then one final tug, and it was free. She staggered back, a metal box as big as her chest held firmly in her hands.

She wasted no time throwing it to the ground and undoing the latches that held it closed.

She took out something and stared at it for a moment before carelessly tossing it to the side. Out of her grasp, you could see it was a fur of some sort. Though you couldn't tell what animal it belonged to, you could see that it was rather plain looking, definitely not worth burying like it was some valuable treasure.

Yet why did it seem to tug at your heart, trying to draw you closer?

Your attention was torn from the fur as the sound of crying filled the air.

It came from Mother, now hunched over a larger, more beautiful fur, her face buried deep as he let out more heart-wrenching sobs. It was the most emotion you've ever seen from her.

You felt like a voyeur. This moment wasn't for you, yet you couldn't leave, transfixed by such both the fur and Mother.

It took moments for the crying to subside, at which point she slowly got to her legs, and she draped the fur over her shoulders like an oversized shawl.

It was like this you could see it better. It was white, and the fur sparkled in the sun like a jewel. It was also obvious that this was the fur of an adult seal.

Her head turned towards you, and you held her gaze, only for a moment, before she turned away and walked towards the direction of the sea.

As she made her past the horizon and beyond your line of sight, she didn't once turn back to look at you.

And you were glad she didn't.

You didn't know how long you spent watching her leave. Even after she disappeared from your sight, you still watched the last spot you saw her. You knew she wouldn't come back, and you hoped she wouldn't either, but that didn't stop the expectancy from growing inside you. There was more coming, and you just didn't know what it was or where it would come from.

Eventually, your mind snapped back to the present, and you became aware of your surroundings again. The sun had climbed quite a ways across the sky, telling you it was afternoon now.

With little else to do, you made your way to the discarded fur.

The closer you got, the more your heart trembled in your chest, and your skin itched in anticipation. It was so similar to the way the sea called to you, but more intense, and completely irresistible.

When you finally knelt down and grasped it, the world melted away along with the fog around your brain, and your mind gained a sense of clarity and sharpness you had never experienced before. And a beautiful, overwhelming feeling of completeness washed over you, like this fur was a long lost part of you, and you were finally, blissfully whole again.

This is what Mother felt when she touched her fur, wasn't it? It must be, because you started to to cry just like she did, face buried in your fur- no, a small voice in your mind said, your lost skin, as you tried to take it all in.

What relief, what clarity, what pain it is to be complete again. Who knew such an immense joy could bring so much hurt?

You only stopped crying when you heard a yell in the distance.

"(Y/N)! WHERE'S YOUR MOTHER?"

It was Fathers voice.

You whip your head to see the figure of your father coming towards you, only to stop as your body twisted towards his, revealing your second skin bundled in your arms.

His shocked expression quickly twisted to something dark, ugly, and angry.

He started walking towards you again, his movements similar to the confident prowl of a wolf coming across a stray lamb, far away from the safety of the herd.

And you felt your heart kick up, exactly like a lamb's would.

Without further thought, you draped your skin across your shoulders like Mother had, scrambled towards your feet, and sprinted away.

Father's heavy footsteps followed.

Past the sheep fields, beyond your property, from well trodden footpaths to completely untamed land, you dashed across the land with your father steady in pursuit, unable to escape his sight.

You didn't realize you were headed towards the ocean until you saw the sand of the beach and the deep blue of the sea.

Logically, you knew that the beach was a dead end. There was nothing there to help you down there, and you couldn't swim. But something inside you urged you forward, saying you would be free, if only you could reach the water, and after everything that happened today, you were inclined to trust it.

As your feet hit the sand, Father began to shout, all threats and insults.

When your skin met the sea, the sharpness in his voice disappeared, replaced with a desperation so unbecoming of a man once to confident.

When you were up to your waist in the salt water, and the rolling waves threatened threatened to knock you off your feet and sweep you out to sea, your father started to plead. To beg you to come out of the water and help him find Mother. He had momentarily lost his temper, he didn't mean to frighten you so. He's not mad any more, he's sorry, and only wishes you could come out and tell him where Mother went. To help him figure out a way to find her and to bring her home. If only you would get out of the water.

You didn't bother to look back.

You dove into the rolling waves, and something fantastical overcame your body.

Your clothes fell away from your body, and your seal skin filled with a strange energy, latching onto your human skin and merging until they were one. Your arms shrunk into flippers with dull claws, and your legs and feet merged into a sleek, powerful tail. Blubber formed around your body and neck, and nestled you in warmth. Your hair receded, and your head shrunk, with your nose and mouth forming the short snout of a seal.

Soon, you were darting through the water, further and further away from the cries of your father, and deeper into the blue.

You swam so far and for so long that when you finally came to the surface to breathe, you could no longer see the shore, with no recollection of which direction you came from. All round you was nothing but a yawning stretch of unbroken blue.

The sun had finally set, transforming the water into the same inky darkness of the sky, and you had still not found your way back to land.

You had tried to head back in the direction you thought you had come from, only to find nothing. So you tried another direction, then another, and another, only to wind up more lost than before.

Frustrated, you had given up for a time and decided to explore what lay under the sea, both in childish curiosity of what the world was like under the water and in foolish hope that you would find your mother, and she could guide you back.

Instead, you found dozens upon dozens of colorful fish and bizarre plants that you could scarcely dream of. You would follow these alien creatures as they scuttled and swam about with a sense of whimsy and awe, captivated by their strangeness. It was the most fun you had in a very long time. If only land could have creatures like this, it would be a much more beautiful place.

But soon, you had lost yourself in your exploration, just like you had lost yourself in the sea. When you finally stopped and resurfaced, the sky and sea had darkened, to the point you could hardly tell which was which.

It was only then you felt the effects of being at sea for so long. Though your blubber did much to keep you warm, the sea was always cold, and a chill had crept deep into your skin. Your stomach gnawed in hunger, and a great weariness started to overtake you. How much longer could you keep swimming?

You grew panicked, head whipping around in despair as you tried to find something, anything to lead you home.

In confusion and fear, you turned your head towards the sky, and it was there you found your answer.

The north star.

It was the first thing your brother had taught you when he took you stargazing. He would still quiz you on it every once in a while, just to make sure you remembered how to find it.

You can still hear his voice like it was yesterday.

"As long as you can find the north star, you can always find your way home."

A renewed feeling of energy washed over you, filling your weary body with resolve, and you pushed yourself towards home.

On and on, you fought against the choppy waves trying to push against your own struggling body and pull you further into the ocean, with nothing but thoughts of home to push you forward.

But after an unknown amount of time, you came across not the shore, but there, upon the horizon, the silhouette of a man upon a fishing boat, harpoon raised, as sharks circled him... no, those weren't sharks.

They were seals.

And that man you your father.

You abandoned your current course to swim closer, trying to understand what was happening.

As you crept up on the ship, you finally heard Fathers shouting over the rough waves.

"DAMN ANIMALS!" His voice was venom.

"WHERE IS SHE? I KNOW YOU HAVE HER! WHERE IS MY WIFE?!"

The seals began to nudge the boat, throwing him momentarily off balance. However, he quickly gained his composure.

"MY LOVE, COME BACK TO ME!"

There was no response.

"I'LL DRAG YOU BACK, ONE WAY OR THE OTHER, AND I'LL KILL WHATEVER BEAST GETS IN MY WAY!"

He regained his footing and raised his harpoon as if to attack, his face alight with manic anger.

But beyond his sight, you saw a beautiful white seal barrel towards the side of his boat, with no sign of stopping. In a flash, her body collided with the wood, and the ship was overturned, throwing Father into the dark sea before he could scream.

It was only a moment before he resurfaced, harpoon gone, struggling to keep his head above water.

"DON'T, PLEASE-"

A seal broke off from the circling pack, bit down on his leg, and dragged him down, disappearing beneath the surface. You tensed, afraid that the seal hadn't let him go, but he broke through the waves in a manner of seconds, choking on salt water.

He struggled against the current, coughing his lung out as he tried to make his way towards his capsized ship.

Then another seal did the same, taking him underwater but holding him down just a little longer. When Father resurfaced, he began to exclaim in fear, begging for mercy, and then for Mother, before he was dragged back down again into the inky abyss.

And then it happened again.

And again.

You caught sight of the same white seal who had brought this fate upon him. She had positioned herself slightly away from the rest of the herd, content to watch from afar. Perhaps she thought her part over, or perhaps she was merely waiting for her turn again.

Slowly, she turned her head towards you, as if she knew you were here all along.

She didn't say a word as she looked at you, but you knew what she was trying to tell you.

You don't belong here.

And perhaps she was right.

You turned away from the brutality happening in front of you, and found the north star again. With your bearings, you continued your journey home.

When the shore finally came out of the horizon, you could have jumped for joy. You pushed your tired fins to the max, wanting nothing more than to finally return to land.

As you came closer, you could make out the dark figure of another person, frantically walking along the shore line, calling out to the sea.

"(Y/N)! (Y/N)! IS THAT YOU?!"

It was Cillian.

You felt such a sense of relief upon seeing him, you could cry.

You tried to call out to him, but it only came out in the strange barks of a seal.

He ran towards the water, only stopping as it reached his waist, your abandoned clothes clutched it his hands as he continued to shout your name like a madman.

You pushed and pushed, willing your aching body to go faster and faster until you were upon him. His arms were held wide, and you leaped into them as he caught you with ease.

Then that strange, magical sensation happened again.

Your skin warped and twisted, growing and then separating itself into two, your seal skin wrapping around you like a robe. Your tail and fins turned back into arms and legs, with the rest of your body following suit. All the while, Cillian still held you, red rimmed eyes in awe over what he saw.

And just like that, you were human again.

He took your face in his hands, one cupping your cheek as the other stroked your hair ever so gently. His hands were cold from being out for so long, and they shook slightly, whether from adrenaline or exhaustion, you couldn't tell. Yet you found yourself leaning into them anyway.

His face was red, and his eyes were wet and puffy. His chin wobbled as much as his voice, unable to contain his emotion.

"I thought you were gone. I came home, and you weren't there, and I couldn't find anyone. I looked everywhere, and when I found your clothes, oh God, I thought I would never see you again. I thought I would be alone."

His voice broke down into wordless sobs, his hands letting your face go only to wrap you into a crushing embrace. You found yourself beginning to cry with him.

"I'm here now." You told him, your own voice faltering from your tears. "It's okay, I'm here."

His sobbing only picked up, sounding like those rare occasions when he cried as a child.

"Oh, my baby. Thank God, thank God."

You stood there, held fast in his arms, as the ocean waves pushed against the both of you, sapping the warmth out of your body, but you couldn't bother to care. You thought you could stay like that forever, safe and sound in his hold.

But his hold began to loosen, and he looked down at you, face haggard and tired.

"Let's go home."

You nodded and took his hand as he led you out of the sea and towards land. But you felt like your body was made of lead, and you kept stumbling, almost falling back into the water. That's when Cillian decided to pick you up, arms under your knees and back in a princess style hold. You didn't protest, exhaustion leaving you too weak to reasonably object. Instead, you lay your head on his shoulder, arms securely holding your second skin around your body, as he took you out of the water.

As you exited the beach, the cold had finally caught up with you, and you began to shiver violently.

Cillian looked down at you, face pinched in concern, before focusing back on the path ahead, picking up his pace.

"I know, I know. We'll be home soon. We'll get you dressed in dry clothes, and I'll get a fire going, and you'll be warm before you know it. Just hang on."

You nodded, pressing yourself further against him, trying to share his body heat.

The journey dragged, the cool night temperatures making your symptoms worse. With each breeze, your shivering would pick up, and he would hold you tighter, as if he could solve the problem by only keeping you closer.

By the time you made it home, your fingers, toes, and nose were numb.

He tried to set you down carefully in front of your room, but his shaking, tired arms had you plopped on the ground more roughly then he intended, leading to him profusely apologizing and checking if you were okay.

You looked up to him and saw the way his fatigue wore on him, from the droopiness of his eyes to the sag of his shoulders and the way his wet clothes hung off of him. You wish he wouldn't apologize so much.

"Change into something warm, and I'll get the fire going, alright?"

You nodded and then went in your room to change, clumsily slipping on your normal nightwear. Still shivering, you then grabbed the blanket off your bed and bundled yourself with it before taking your wet seal skin and walking out of your room.

When you went back to the living room, Cillian was in dry clothes kneeling next to the fireplace, having finished loading the logs into the chimney. With a few strikes of the fire steel, a small fire began to grow on the wood, bringing a welcome heat with it.

You carefully hung up your second skin near the fireplace so it could dry and then sat down next to your brother, watching as he tended to the small flame, making certain it wouldn't go out. After a few minutes of carefully feeding it small, dry branches, it had taken to the bigger logs and grown to a healthy size. With a noise of contentment, he pulled the metal screen over the fireplace opening and leaned back, a drained expression falling on his face as he took a moment to soak in the heat.

Then he turned to you with a small smile.

"Feeling better?"

You nodded, your shivering having gone down some.

"But I'm still cold."

He opened his arms and waved you over. You didn't hesitate to go to them, taking your blanket and wrapping it over his body as well as yours as he wrapped his arms around you. Your head leaned against his shoulder, and his chin rested on your head.

And for a while, no one spoke. You sat snug in his hold, the warmth of the fire, the reassuring weight of his arms, and the steady rise and fall of Cillians chest, you were easily lulled into a state of half consciousness, bringing you a sense of peace.

But then your brothers voice, rough and low, spoke.

"Why did you leave?"

It took you a moment to process the question, mind fuzzy and slow from your exhaustion.

"Father was chasing me. I didn't know where else to go."

"You didn't have to stay gone for so long. You knew I would be home soon."

"I got lost."

With those words, his chest hitched, like he couldn't breathe. You hastily tried to reassure him.

"But when night fell, I used the north star to guide me home, just like you taught me. It all turned out okay in the end."

He shifted, his hold growing tighter.

"Don't you realise how lucky you were? If the sky had been overcast and you couldn't see the stars, what would you have done? How long would you have lasted at sea without its guidance? What if you had swam into a shark, or God forbid, a fisherman..."

His arms grew suffocating, to the point of pain.

"Cillian, please." You whimpered.

His grip immediately loosened, and he looked down on you, apologies spilling from his mouth once more.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to, it just- it scares me. You scare me. And I hate how frightened you make me. You can't go back there, (Y/N)."

What could you say? You felt guilty about making him so upset, but you couldn't promise to not return to the ocean, either. Yes, your first trip in the water was terrifying, but it was also freeing and beautiful. You wouldn't feel complete without being able to go there again.

You chose to stay silent.

He pressed you gently back into his chest and began softly rocking you, one hand around you and the other carding through your hair.

Eventually, you drifted off, the soft crackle of the fire and the gentle sway of Cillian's hold following you into your dreams.

The next thing you know, you're swaddled in your bed, sunshine streaming through your windows.

It takes you a while to get up, the ordeals from yesterday still weighing heavy on your body. But eventually, hunger pangs form in your stomach, and you force yourself to leave the safety of the blankets to get food.

With your blanket wrapped around your body like a cloak, you slowly shuffle out of your room and towards the kitchen. You dully make note of how high the sun is, meaning you had slept well into the afternoon. You hope Cillian let the animals out before he left.

Once in the kitchen, you cut a slice of bread and stand there, chewing on it slowly, eyes half lidded as not one thought crosses your mind.

Then it hits you, a delayed wave of dread washing over you.

Your skin.

You had left it near the fireplace, right? You were fairly certain of it being wet, and you had wanted it to dry. Therefore, near the fireplace was the most logical place.

Uncertainly, you take the few steps it takes to get to the living room, and can find no sign of it.

But you remember putting it here. At least, you think you remember.

It occurs to you that, upon separation from your skin, that mental acuity you had gained from it was now lost once again, and your brain fog has rolled back in with a vengeance.

You look around the fireplace, turning over baskets and boxes and whatever gets in your way, before expanding your search to the living room, then the kitchen, then your room. You even dared to look through your parents' room and Cillians room for no other excuse than your rising panic at not being able to find that vital, beloved part of yourself.

All higher reason left you as you left your house to trace back your journey from the beach on the wild belief that you could have dropped your skin, despite knowing that it had stayed wrapped around your body the entire time.

The further into your walk, the more the pit in your stomach grew, climbing its way into your throat until you threatened to choke on it, tears leaking from your eyes all the while.

It was only upon not being able to find the skin anywhere on the beach that you collapsed down on the sand, your wailing a companion to the roaring of the waves.

It was there Cillian found poor you, face a red, blotchy mess of snot and tears. He knelt beside you, out of breath from running to find you. He tried his best to calm you down despite looking panicked himself, but you had worked yourself into an unmanageable state.

After a desperate few minutes, you had slowed down just enough to wail out, "I can't find my skin."

His mouth formed a grim line, face becoming unreadable. Without another word, he picked you up and carried you home once more.

You didn't bother fighting it, only continuing to cry until it tapered off to pathetic little whimpers, and then total silence.

You barely registered that you were home, that Cillian had placed you upon the floor, near the dwindling fire where you collapsed. You stared into the small flame, not being able to comprehend anything. The world had become too much, weighing heavy on your mind and body to the point that you didn't have a will to care about much anymore. Except, of course, for one thing.

After an unknown time, Cillian sat down next to you, apple in hand. He made a gesture as if offering you the food, but there was only one response on your lips.

"Do you know where my skin is?"

He turned away from you and faced the fire again, taking a bite of the fruit, and you stared at him as he chewed. Chewed, chewed, chewed, and then swallowed it all down.

He nodded.

"Yes, I know where it is."

You felt your eyes light up, a surge of hope coursing through your body.

"Where is it?!"

He didn't turn to look at you. His face didn't even so much as twitch.

"Cillian, please, where is it? Where's my skin?"

"It's somewhere safe."

"That's isn't an answer." A heat began to form in your voice. "Where is it?"

"What are you going to do with it, when you get it again?"

The question took you off guard, making you sputter for a moment.

"What do you mean?"

"Are you going to try and leave again?"

Your patience gave way to your anger.

"I didn't leave you, I was trying to run away from our crazy Father, who would have done God knows what to me if he caught me. And I didn't want to be stuck out at sea for hours on end! And I came home, didn't I? I want to be here, why isn't that enough for you?!"

His finally turned towards you, face twisted and sharp.

"You came back this time." He spat. "But what about the next? What's to keep you from deciding to stay in the sea if I can't be there to stop you? Just look at you! A day hasn't even passed, and you're already running back towards that accursed beach."

Heat rose in your cheeks, and your voice rose.

"And so you steal from me? You take a part of myself and hide it from me? How dare you! How dare you do what Father did!"

The veins in his head began to pop up at your words.

"I'm nothing like him, Father was a monster!"

"Then prove it! Give me back my skin!"

He stared at you, eyes wild, huffing like he had just run across the property. You held his gaze, just as angry and stubborn, unwillingly to back down.

He jolted up, then stalked across the floor and exited the house with a slam of the door.

You could only look after him in silence.

After Cillian left, you had slunk off to your bed, not knowing what else to do except to lie down and wait.

Eventually, you fell into a fitful sleep, not even able to find reprieve in your dreams, where you saw your mother taking your skin and running as you desperately tried to catch up to her. But no matter how fast you ran, or how hard you pushed yourself, you fell further and further behind until she was nothing more than a speck in the distance.

A hand came to rest on your head, and you jolted awake with a start, heart racing and eyes wide and unseeing, until a voice called out to you.

"It's okay, (Y/N), it's okay, it's only me, Cillian. Calm down, you're safe."

In a few short seconds, your eyes focused on the figure sitting on the edge of your bed in front of you, and it was indeed your brother, face composed in a reassuring smile.

You took in your surroundings, noticing it had gone completely dark, with only a candle placed on your nightstand to offer any light. There was no sign of your skin.

"I didn't mean to scare you, I just wanted to wake you up. It looked like you were having a nightmare."

You slumped back in your bed, and frown easily forming on your face.

"I was." Is your meager reply.

"I'm sorry about that. Do you want to talk about it?"

You look away from him, frown deepening.

He sighed. "You're still mad at me, aren't you?"

Silence.

"The first time you wandered off, trying to return to the beach, Father had taken me aside, and told me a story of a young, lonely fisherman who had come upon a beautiful, naked lady dancing on the beach. The fisherman had become enchanted with this strange woman, believing to have fallen in love at first sight. After having watched her for some time, he came to spot a stark white seal skin near the lady. It was then he figured out that the woman was not a human, but a selkie, a mythical creature with the ability to change their form from seal to human. He knew he had to have her and crept closer and closer, until he was able to snatch the skin away. She pleaded for it's return, offering anything to have it back. He had said he would, but only on the condition she became his wife. She relented, not having another choice. Of course, Father had then revealed that this was the story of how he met Mother."

You sat there, staring at him in shock.

"You knew that Mother and I were selkies, and you said nothing?"

"No, that's not it. I didn't believe a word of what he said, I thought it was the delusions of a sad man trying to find a reason for why his wife was so ill. I didn't start thinking of the story until Mother went visiting the beach, and even then, I wasn't sure until I saw you transform in front of my very eyes."

He sighed once more.

"But that wasn't all. Father had said that though I was human, you were a selkie, and that he had taken your skin as soon as you were born and hidden it away with Mothers. He believed that if you never had the chance to transform, the illness from Mother would lessen, and eventually, you would turn human. I thought he was mad, but now that I am able to think... he was right, wasn't he?"

You felt your heart drop to your stomach.

"Your illness wasn't as severe as Mothers. You were able to live normally for the most part. Sure, you couldn't always focus, and your mind would wander, but it was getting better, wasn't it? In a few more years, you might have turned human. Unfortunately, Mother stopped that from happening, but it can be done again."

He placed a hand on your shoulder, cold and iron tight, with a sickening smile stretched on his face.

"You'll be rid of this disease, and you can be human, like you were meant to. And I'll be here to take care of you until it happens."

You couldn't speak, couldn't move, could scarcely breathe. You could have cried, but all the tears and anger had left you earlier that day, leaving you to mutely stare at your brother, your only family, the only one you trusted, who you thought would protect you from the horrors of the world you lived in, in a complete and all consuming horror you have never felt in your life.

A moment passed, and you managed to find your words once again.

"Cillian." Your voice is quiet. A gentle breeze could drown it out.

"Cillian," you try again, "please. Where is my skin?"

His face falls and shoulders sag in disappointment.

"I know it will take you a long time to adjust, but I promise, this is for the best."

You shake your head, but he only brings you in for a hug, holding you gently as if you would shatter at a moments notice. You have no energy to fight back.

"Please. Give me back my skin."

He only shushes you, rubbing circles into your back as you continue to plead for the only thing that could make you feel whole again. You stay there until your voice goes silent, your body slack, and your eyes shut. Until you fall asleep in the arms of your brother, under the roof of your father, and under the stars that sit unmoving and unforgiving in the darkness of the night sky.

[eddiegettingshot]

okay and as beautiful as the puzzle pieces/opposites attract/parallels thing is what i actually appreciate about buck and eddie the most is how they love each other as much as they do because they are fundamentally more alike than they are different, and their differences are really just the outward manifestation of their similarities. their wounds are similar: the abandonment issues, the fear that they might not be enough to make someone stay or to even deserve it, the feeling of never getting it right, of always disappointing, always having to bear it alone, denying themselves the right to want what they want as much as they want it and to be complete and whole. but everything else too. the fierce way they love, how they never stop fighting for their families, the selflessness, the self-sacrifice, the stubbornness, their inherent compassion. both caregivers. both with their stupid senses of humor and their enjoyment of shenanigans and bickering. horrible liars. they're both so quick to forgive. so brave. sometimes reckless. such losers. they know each other so well because they see themselves in each other a little bit. i think. because they are soulmates. anyway

[f4ggydog]

MASTERLIST

nsfw/smutty content…please view at your own discretion!!

misty quigley (aka the quiggles):

crystal/misty phantom of the opera:

matching misty’s freak

puppy misty

puppy misty with caregiver jackie

misty babytrapping

nat scatorccio (nat scat):

sucking nat’s tdick

smoking with lottienat

period sex with nat

nat getting his hole wrecked by lottie

puppy/werewolf drabble

lottienat noncon

transmasc werewolf nat

nat getting dommed by shauna

werewolf nat back at it again (extra subby)

transmasc nat with transfem reader lottie matthews (lawtie):

transfem lottie

lottie’s breeding kink

lottie being loud in bed

lottie a/b/o hc’s

lottie analysis

needy lottie

lottie taking advantage of you

sneaking off with lottie

whiny lottie moment

lottie as a puppy

lottienat smoking

lottie ritual sex

puppy lottie getting fucked in her cage

noncon with lottie

trans lottieshauna shenanigans

lottie being obsessed with shauna’s pregnancy

obsessive wilderness lottie

lottie fucking her cum back into shauna

you’re lottie’s smol baby

dad lottie

lottieshauna tagteaming you

big dick lottie dicking you down

lottie begging to suck shauna’s tits

lottie comforting you after self harm

puppy lottie with a vibe

knife play with lottie

worshipping lottie's boots

dark wilderness lottie

lottie fucking tai while van watches

lottie acting like a soccer mom

big dick lottie humiliating nat

adult lottie with a mommy kink

puppy lottie holding in her pee at a party

lottieshauna x reader noncon

shauna shipman (feral dog wolf coded motherfucker):

transfem shauna

transfem shauna sucking titssss

bottom shauna

lottieshauna taishauna with shauna being a big ass bottom

shauna’s pussy eating face

shauna’s scent kink

shauna being possessive as fuckkkk

shauna happy trail

wilderness boyfriend shauna

competitive shauna

shauna taking care of puppy lottie

puppy girl shauna

shauna fucking lottie in her cage

shauna the howler

shauna knife kink

professor sadecki

shauna’s big canines

werewolf shauna (again)

overstimulated shauna

whiny transfem shauna

shauna begging for your cum

T4T jackieshauna

playing with shauna's tdick

shauna fucking jackie until she squirts

lottieshauna x reader noncon

van palmer (butch icon):

puppy van

bottom van

reader taking care of van

taivan topping you

van’s kinks

puppy van hcs (along with some puppy shauna)

taissa turner (the best femme lesbian in all the land):

tai hopes for s3

tai tops shauna

taivan topping you

taissa baby trapping is back!!!

tai getting fucked by lottie

jackie taylor (bratty mcbrat brat brat sir brattington):

pillow princess jackie

jackie being loud in bed

puppy jackie

jackie’s a big ol bottom

T4T jackieshauna

Tboy jackie hcs

jackie’s small dick being made fun of

jackie getting fucked by shauna until she squirts

yellowjackets in general:

their body hair

transmasc yellowjackets

wilderness dry humping

yellowjackets christmas

mari (she’s a bully but a massive loser):

mari’s a brat

intercourse with mari

genlissa? (even they get rep):

genlissa as a pairing

[littleakito]

HI HI HI HI HI. Angsty Dazai headcanons? Pretty please! With sprinkles on top even!

╰╮﹕★﹒ANGSTY LITTLE! DAZAI HEADCANNONS﹒🩹 TW WARNING.

AVERAGE DAZAI SHENANIGANS (suicide, sh, etc.), MENTIONS OF FORCED INJURY, EXTREME SELF LOATHING & SELF HATRED, DEHUMANIZATION. NOT TO BE READ WHEN REGRESSED (unless you like. hate yourself I guess? do what you want <3)

HEED THE WARNINGS.

୨୧ ：aah! finally getting to this hehehh.. I would have gotten to it sooner! but I need to be in an awfully specific mood to write angst.. tis odd! also! no cherry on top!!?!?! smh… /silly sprinkles are great though, sounds delicious mmmm..

1　 ﹒　Despising pain so much is quite a struggle when your brain has so much hatred towards yourself it begins to physically hurt, they say that once you grow hungry enough, you begin to eat your own heart. Dazai doesn’t have one of those, last he checked. So instead, his body begins to sacrifice his mindset for one of a much, much younger person.

It’s scary, even scarier when your anxiety is running rampant and rapid, coursing through your veins at an all time high. Vulnerability shouldn’t be such a scary thing, but when your most memorable experience with such is having your arms sliced open on a vivisection table, and tubes shoved down your throat, you begin to despise letting people see you as so.. small.

It’s even worse when you mentally feel so little, and the world around you begins to look like tall, scary faces, watching your every move.

2　 ﹒　Being oh so used to tainting all that he touches is rather tough, I feel as if he’s broken a pacifier before and had an absolute panic attack, god forbid someone allows him to hold a cup whilst he’s somewhat fuzzy, things will begin to blur the lines between sitting in Mori’s office, and being right in front of his caregiver.

3　 ﹒　When he betrayed the Port Mafia, he lost Chuuya. I wouldn’t entirely say that Chuuya was his “caregiver”, due to their oh so complicated relationship, but I would say that Chuuya was the closest thing he’s ever had to one. They’re both rotten, but that doesn’t entirely matter when you feel so sweet next to one another.

Whenever Dazai would begin to wish for him by his side, he would grow so much self hatred, how could he want something? How could he ever allow himself that treat of comfort, when he’s done nothing but be an awful, awful human being(? Is he even that, anymore?) towards both himself, and everyone around him.

He’s been biting and snapping at others for so long, that he’s begun to forget he, too, was bitten himself. That sorrow that taints him is a product of another person, who cherished him, yet only for his inability to feel cherished, and understand emotions in the first place, for that matter.

4　 ﹒　After time, if he ever began to feel even a little more comfortable in that state, he would begin to have extreme night terrors of his regression. He would begin to despise it, anything that brings him comfort should be banished, after-all. If he had a specific love for a certain toy or drink or stuffie, he would cry himself to sleep in a corner without it, all in punishment for existing in the first place.

If whatever god is out there created Dazai with the purpose of making a self loathing success of a black hole, destined to be hungry for love whilst tainting those around him, for all of eternity, they certainly are a master in their field.

୨୧ ：projected a lil too hard with my lil man methinks, anywho, I hope this is okay and at least partially in character! thank you sososo much for your request, ash! ‘twas fulfilling!

HEADER READS: “LITTLE DAZAI HEADCANNONS”

DNI BANNER READS “NSFW DNI” “HEY, DID YOU HEAR ME?” “CHILD SAFE BLOG”

[secretidentie]

movies that should be superbat fics

Inspired by the first full superbat fic I've ever read The Proposal by @blackbatofel

How to loose a guy in 10 day: Clark needs to write a story to break into the main stream so people will pay attention to his more important work and after hearing Cat grant talk about her love life he decides to write about all the ways you can drive a man away in ten days. Bruce Wayne is trying to adopt Dick and sign a deal for WE and both those things require him to prove he can commit to something and be a family man so he bets he can make someone fall in love with him in 10 days

The other woman: Bruce Wayne is dating lex Luther for PR reasons. Clark is dating lex for investigation reasons. When Clark finds out online that lex has a boyfriend he's furious about the infidelity and immediately tells Bruce. Bruce, thinking Clark is a heartbroken mistress, suggests working together to get revenge. Clark, wanting to comfort Bruce through his breakup, agrees to said revenge. Shenanigans insues.

The hangover: batman, superman and green lantern are assigned to a mission in Vegas. They complete it easily and to celebrate lantern convince them to get drinks together even though the other two don't get along. When Bruce and Clark(who isn't supposed to be able to get drunk) wake up the next morning they don't know where they are, somethings wrong with Clark's powers, Hal's ring is in the bathroom sink, he's no where to be found and apparently the two of them got married last night. They have to figure out what happened and where Hal is before the next JL debrief otherwise they'll have to admit to Diana and the whole team that they fucked up a simple mission by getting shit faced on the job and Bruce would rather die than let that happen.

The holiday: when Bruce realizes he's either dumped, adopted or detested everyone in Gotham he's yearning for a change of scenery. He gets into contact with an old friend, lois lane, who's recently devorced but is still living with her ex husband. After finding out that she shares his desire for something different they decided to swap homes for a few weeks where they can both work remotely to experience life across the pond.

Titanic: a young Bruce engaged to Talia goes on a yacht cruise with the league of assassin's on the unsinkable ship designed by lex Luther by combining metals like lead with alien tech. Uncoincidentally Clark sneeks on the ship to investing in for kryptonite and criminal activities but ends up finding love as well.( Does this mean Clark has to die? Probably, but it's worth it for the plot. And Clark's sacrifice and worldview could be what inspired Bruce to quit the league and become batman)

You before me: After Bruce is horribly injured on the field he has to prematurely hand over the mantel of batman. Since his kids have done a good job at filling in for him, Bruce feels like he's lost his purpose. Alfred decides to hire Clark kent, an aspiring journalist from Smallville, as Bruce's caregiver so he can show Bruce a better outlook on life and hopefully convince him to reconsider ending his life(y'all know I had to even out the death score)

Bring it on: Bruce Wayne, owner of the daily planet, prides himself on the fact that his paper was the most awarded publication for the past 3 years. While gearing up for the 4th his new hire, lois lane reveals to him that his recently retired chef editor has been stealing stories from a smaller independent paper. That paper has been gaining traction this year and is being nominated for the same awards as them, including a pulitzer. After the owner of the rival paper, Clark, doesn't accept his apology or financial help, Bruce strives for justice and wants to make it right. During this he starts admiring Clark's work and starts falling from him. Clark,reluctant to let his guard down and be too trusting again, says he doesn't want pity from a billionaire pushing Bruce to do everything he can to turn his staff into award winners.... or atleast decent writers.(I clearly have no idea how journalism awards work)

[superkooku]

It's just so funny how many stories we have of Dionysus DYING.

You'd think an immortal god wouldn't get killed so much.

(Correction from 3/11/2024 : the Perseus and Lycurgus anecdotes are from rarer versions of the myth, not the common one, but it's still interesting to explore it either through an abstract lense or just "Dionysus' defeat")

First, orphism. Where Zagreus is dismembered by the Titans, whom Hera sent. He's then reborn.

Then, Perseus slaying him in their war against each other (right after Ariadne). And Hera's involved both times.

Finally, one version of Lycurgus' myth where the king kills Ambrosia, one of his caregivers and then a young Dionysus is forced to jump in the water. Well, it's not said he died as Thetis saved him and the others from drowning, but still...

And then he comes back to get revenge on Lycurgus and that man is horrified to see him again, because he literally killed him. That alone would make him go insane, and Dionysus just relishes in his victory.

Another detail: it's never stated how and if he comes back to life after Perseus' victory. He's buried at one point, but since he's a god, of course he has to somehow be resurrected.

So i'm just imagining him raising from the dead and terrifying everyone in the process. Just digging himself out of a grave and being like "Oh... I died again? That's starting to get annoying."

I don't think Perseus would be afraid, though. Dionysus' shenanigans never impressed him that much and he has seen many things. He'd probably be aggravated and they'd make up at this moment.

Dionysus, buddy, you rightfully earned your title of "god of death and rebirth".

And I'm not saying Dionysus is weak or anything, he was very young in 2/3 of the stories and Perseus is just that goated (and the city of Argos was sacred to Hera , so it wouldn't be a stretch to imagine her helping Perseus win like Athena with Diomedes.

But he probably just did it on his own, which is an enormous feat !)

And Dionysus has his fair share of victories (in the Gigantomachy, against Pentheus, Lycurgus the revenge, against INDIA as a whole, etc...)

Dionysus' death is just some recurring theme that makes his story even more interesting and ties him to his human origins, with Semele.

[last-words-ofashootingstar]

hiii could you do more of Baby!Seonghwa pls?? I loved it and i can’t stop thinking about it since i’ve read it, amazing work btw thanks <3

Medicine

❥Yandere Park Seonghwa x fem reader

➯a/n: this is a work of fiction and does NOT represent a healthy little and caregiver relationship, or a healthy relationship of any kind. i'm back at it with my mommy hwa shenanigans while tweaking with the shells plot line mwahaha

takes place before Baby (you don't have to read to understand but it gives this some extra spice)

✃ "I'd burn alive just for the soft light on your face." -Paper Doll, Flower Face

✫彡wordcount: 3k

♡'･ᴗ･'♡(ಡ‸ಡ)(¯ ³¯)♡genre: yandere, angst, hurt & comfort

ಠ_ಠwarning/content: stockholm syndrome, periods and period blood(non descriptive), everyone is morally grey, non sexual nudity, references to sh and violence(not towards reader), it's fair to say seonghwa is a murderer lol, jongho and baby bff agenda as hinted at in the first part, more exploration of how the members are affected, one mention of sewer slide, mingi needs a hug fr, not proof read

⁂perm taglist: @stvrfir3 @tunaasan @marievllr-abg

✩index: little space; a regressed state of mind where one feels like a child. hyung; a name for an older male friend or sibling, used by other males.

MATURE UNDER CUT MDNI

  Seonghwa was certain that he could handle anything you threw his way after five months of being his captive in his care.

      He knew you well, better than he knew himself most days. Even before he had 'taken you home', he tried to learn everything about you to make the transition easier. Some things though- were impossible to know.

     You hadn't gotten your period since before your 'big move', as he called it. He read up on all things womanly to be better prepared so he knew that stress could cause you to skip it. And it did for a long while. Now, though, you were starting to settle in.

     He knew they were painful. But nothing prepared him for the heartbreak when he saw you in the state you were in now.

     He had just gone downstairs to get the mail, but that was apparently all the time it took for you to lock yourself in the bathroom.

     "I don't know what happened, Hyung!" Mingi was just as panicked as Seonghwa at the moment, he felt responsible for whatever was happening behind the locked bathroom door. What if you had gotten into their razors? It would be all his fault... His Hyung trusted him with his Baby and she dashed away before he could even register it.

     Everyone saw the shift in you the past few days, moody and hungry and tired. One of the managers even had the nerve to ask if you could be pregnant. As if Hwa would ever let you skip your birth control.

    "She just ran off! Everything was fine," Mingi continued as he jiggled the knob relentlessly, slapping his palm on the wood while calling out.

     His voice was so loud in Seonghwa's mind. He was so overwhelmed. Scared. Full of rage.

    And then they heard the shower turn on.

    At least he knew you were alive in there.

    "Baby?" He pushed his younger member out of the way and knocked on the door much gentler. "You know you can't take baths alone. Open the door and let me help you."

     There was no response.

    "Now, Baby."

    Only the sound of the water hitting linoleum tiles.

   "Don't make me count to three."

    Mingi backed up at that. He hated when he counted just as much as you did.

    But he didn't have to count, when he heard the tiniest sniff from over the pelting water his body reacted for him. His shoulder came in contact with the door and in the next second he had broken through the frame of the door.

    Mingi looked on in shock, eyes fixed on the metal lock on the door which was still stuck out in place. They followed to the doorframe, splintered open. Then they fell to you, curled up naked on the bathroom floor under the raining water. He looked away at that, turning and crouching down to pick up the broken pieces of wood to busy himself until he knew you were okay enough to leave you in Seonghwas care alone.

      Seonghwa had kneeled next to you, uncaring as the water soaked the knees on his pants. Even more uncaring as he leaned over your face, blocking the water with the back of his head and soaking the collar of his shirt and his hair. The scorching water dripped from his hair to your face as he cupped it in his hands, inspecting you for any damage on the surface.

"Baby, my baby, what's wrong?" The pain in his voice was just as present as the pain in your face. Wound tight like your eyebrows as you winced.

"H-hurts." Was all you could manage, groaning as he untucked your arms from around you to inspect you further. You were fine on the surface.

"Hyung..." His head snapped back to Mingi, who held out your shorts pinched between his fingers, touching them as little as possible. There was a dark spot on them, red and angry as it stained the pattern.

He looked down slowly, eyes meeting the drain as it sucked up the pink tinted water.

ఌ

It took all the convincing in the world from Seonghwas part that for you to remember that you weren't dying. That this happened to big girls every month. Eventually he managed to dry you off after letting the water sooth you for a while and set you up with a pad from the box he's had under the sink since he brought you home.

But then again, some things he couldn't have been prepared for. You told him your periods weren't just painful, they were debilitating. He wished he would have asked you before hand to be more prepared- but now he knows better for next time!

He set you up on the couch with a sock full of uncooked rice that he'd heated up placed on your stomach while he did frantic research on his phone. He peeked back and when he saw you were fast asleep, tuckered out from fighting the pain, he made a beeline downstairs- not even bothering to wait for the elevator and essentially jumping down the stairs.

     He barged right into Yunho and Yeosangs dorm, making a mental note to scold them for not locking the door later on. But for now he was on a mission for his baby.

    "Hello, Yeosang," he greeted briefly as he barged into the room as well, going straight to his shelf of supplements and vitamins. He could only stare dumbfounded as he scooped up what he needed and left. "Bye, Yeosang."

"Hello, Yunho." He spoke as he passed him in their kitchen. He raided the pantry and left with a simple, "Bye, Yunho." The both of them looked on in confusion as their Hyung left the dorm, not bothering to even shut the door.

     "Yah, that's ours!"

    Yunhos yell when unheard -or rather uncared for- as he was out the door just as fast as he came, desperately rushing down the hall as they looked on.

ఌ

That was how everyone ended up in the top story dorm, watching in confusion and anxiety as Seonghwa sat down his stolen goods on the coffee table infront of the couch, careful not to wake you. He went to walk off, and Wooyoung opened his mouth, "is she o-"

      "Shh!" The eldest shushed harshly, shutting him up as he sped walked away.

      "Hey, thats mine!" Another victim of Seonghwas thievery followed his Hyung with a sleepy grimace, blinking confusedly at the scene in the living room.

They had all seen some strange behavior from their eldest member, especially through the past nine months that lead up to this. The day you met was like a switch flipped in his imbalanced mind.

They hated you for that. Or rather, hated the idea of you. Every one of their moral compasses was spun in a complete three sixty when their Hyung kidnapped you those five months ago. He wasn't the same. For the good or bad, you changed Seonghwas live, all of their lives-

For bad, you had been the reason that Hongjoong had to pick dirt from under his nails after covering up one of his best friends sins. You were the reason Mingi had to take a three week hiatus to cover recover from the bruises from when he made eye contact with you. You were the reason that a quarter of their staff had to be paid off when the word spread, just to keep everything from going public.

But then- you were the reason that Seonghwa had started smiling again. The reason he tossed his blades into the river. You were the inspiration to eight different songs in only these few months, one of which was a major break through for them. Your childlike attitude beamed through the apartments.

You brought a certain light to their lives, one that was emitted from the fires of Hell.

They promised themselves they'd be indifferent to you, to not get involved as much as possible for the sake of their own sanity and morals. And yet, here they are.

Gathered in the living room with heavy hearts as they looked over you, silently begging for Seonghwa or Mingi to tell them what was wrong with you.

"Hyung..." Jongho spoke as softly as he could, his eyes couldn't help but fixate on the way you held yourself like you wanted to disappear. "What did you do to her?"

He, out of everyone, was most worried.

He hated this situation just as much as the others. Hell, he was still fighting himself every day to turn his Hyung in- even if their entire worlds would come crashing down. Because he hated to see you in pain. An innocent person suffering because he was too cowardly.

You were attached to the hip the second that Seonghwa let you out of his room. You dashed for the scariest looking member... because he was less scary than the man who snatched you up, who you thought you could trust. You hid behind his arms as everyone else looked on, simply staring in the disbelief of what their once trusted and kind member had done.

Hongjoong was in the same boat, just as troubled as Jongho was with the entirety of what had become their lives. He prided himself in the fact that he was a good person, through and through. He did good deeds when no body was looking, simply because it spread good feelings. All he ever wanted to put in the world was positivity. But when he saw the tears that his best friend caused, his heart made him simply look the other way. You didn't like Hongjoong much. His picture in Seonghwas room taunted you, made you resent him for being so obviously close to the source of all your pain. But he didn't treat you any different for it.

"Park Seonghwa, you promised you wouldn't hurt her like that," Hongjoong sneered through his teeth, ready to grab his only Hyung by the ear when he heard a small grumble from the couch.

You blinked. Once, twice.

And then you broke into a waterfall of hot tears.

"Hey, Baby it's okay," Seonghwa tried to soothe you, only to be pushed flat away from you as Jongho came and took his seat infront of the couch where you were situated.

"Hi, little bear," he cooed, taking you into his arms immediately when you weakly opened yours. He moved slowly as he sat on the couch with you in his lap, but slowly wasn't slow enough to stop the aches from pulsing through your veins on what felt like a molecular level.

It was Wooyoungs turn now to feel brave and stand up to Hwa- well, stand over him as he watched his baby with tears of his own welling up. "She's never cried this hard, what did you do?"

"Baby-"

He was pushed back down as he reached for you, a begging pout on his lips as Yeosang held him down by his shoulders.

He didn't know what had changed in his members but he knew it was shit timing. You needed comfort and calm, not to see your caregiver held down and restrained from you.

A pink sock hit Yeosangs head and he looked up with soft shock written on his features as he met your eyes. You immediately looked down, you still weren't allowed to look them in the eyes and you most definitely didn't want a punishment ontop of natures own. "Don't hurt my Mommy..."

"Honey, did your Mommy do this to you?" Yunho asked as he bent to your level.

You simply shook your head. Were they really fighting over your well-being? Why didn't they do that months ago when this whole fiasco started? You blinked away the thought as another teeth gritting cramp hit you. You hid in Jonghos sweater, trying to quiet down your sobs.

It wasn't all for naught though, as you could hear Mingi finally speaking up when he returned from the kitchen, a baby bottle of juice in hand that he sat down with Seonghwas thieved goodies. "She got her period..." Some of them immediately started cooing over you, and while you couldn't tell who with your head trying to burrow its way into Jongho to hide, it still made your ears feel hot with embarrassment.

"Oh, poor baby," San was the first one to speak, plugging in the heating pad he was robbed of minutes early with zero hesitation, gently draping it over your lower back.

"Get off me," Seonghwa finally snapped and pushed Yeosang and Wooyoung away, crawling on his knees to the couch. "Baby, I've got some stuff to help you but you'll have to come off Jongho, okay?"

You had a hint of defiance in your pain filled eyes as you peeked from the plush sweater you were hidden in. "No, big bear," you put on the cutes and hugged Jonghos neck tighter.

"I know big bear is comfortable," he bit his tongue as he looked at the way you so willingly curled into his youngest members lap for comfort that he should be providing, "but give me five minutes, I need to take care of you."

"Come on, little bear," Jongho sat up as careful as possible, ignoring the tug on his heart as you whined. He cared for you, of course. But he feared Seonghwa more.

Wooyoung couldn't bear to watch anymore, taking San's hand and disappearing down the hall. He used to look up to Seonghwa, now he could barely look in his eyes.

Mingi followed their lead, he wanted to be strong and comfort you, but he simply couldn't handle another second of seeing you reduced to tears. He'd never watch you cry again. His heart couldn't take it. Maybe that made him a coward of a man, but he didn't care at the moment.

That left Hongjoong sat across the coffee table with Yunho, Yeosang lowering himself into the armchair, and Seonghwa on his knees infront of you as you clung to Jonghos neck.

   "Good..." He was certain there was blood filling his mouth from the way he bit down on his tongue. "I didn't want to leave you so these will do for now until I order your own, right?" It was rhetorical-was it? It's not like you had a choice in the matter. But he was so kind that it made your brain foggy. Like he really cared of your opinion for a moment.

    "Magnesium, zinc, and vitamin d," he explained as he took one from each of the bottles. "More vitamin d," he sat the bottle of juice next to your legs. "And comfort," he drug the basket of sweets that he used as rewards for good behavior to the edge of the table and let you take a peek, seeing the new and unfamiliar chocolates on top.

Intrigued by the fancy looking wrapper, you reached out. Seonghwa only put the medicine in your hand. "Medicine first, Baby. Then you can have all you want from the basket."

Seonghwa was a lot of things but he wasn't a liar, never to you.

So, you sucked it up and took the medicine.

ఌ

Later that night, everyone besides Hongjoong and Jongho had returned home (save for the three that actually lived in the apartment with you). Mingi didn't exit his room, not even for dinner. San came and joined movie night after Wooyoung left.

The movie long ended, leaving everyone in the room dead asleep besides Seonghwa. How could he sleep at a moment like this? His Baby could wake up at any moment and need him.

So, he just sat and watched over the most important people in his life. His best friend, laid on the couch with his head on the opposite end as you, curled into a ball with nothing but a stuffed monkey to keep him company. His youngest member, laid on the floor with a pillow to his chest. And San, he was-

"Hyung?"

He was awake. Seonghwa perked up a bit, blinking away that familiar look in his eyes before he turned to the armchair where San was draped in a strange position. "Hyung, you should go to sleep..."

Both their eyes drifted to you, sound asleep. He'd either have to curl up behind you on the couch with Hongjoong or move you to your shared bed.

"You know..." San sighed, almost silently. "I hate you for what you did to her. For what got us here. But I would be lying if I said you didnt take good care of her. You love her, don't you?"

"I love her more than life." It was a declaration that was as easy as breathing. Though he'd never said it out loud to anyone other than you. Until now. Seeing you like that... "I love her. I never want her to be in pain like that, you don't understand, San. I was ready to kill myself if she was dying."

"Don't be ridiculous-"

"I'm serious."

The look in his eyes told him he was was. He would never joke when it came to you. He was always dead serious. He would rather not be in this world at all than be in it without you. "I know you don't understand, I'm not asking you to. But I had to do what I did. I had to do it. I had to."

"I know." And he did. San knew that, by all means Seonghwa didn't have to do what he did. He didn't have to kidnap you and keep you imprisoned in their dorm and buy people off to keep their mouth shut. But Seonghwa thought that he did. His mind had convinced him, and there was no turning back.

That first night, when they found you tied to his bed, that was all he could say. I had to. I had to. I had to. With his head tucked between his knees like a scolded child defending themselves- although everyone was too shell shocked to even say a word until Wooyoung broke the silence with a simple, 'what the fuck.' I had to. I had to. I had to.

"Do you?"

San licked his lips, took a deep breath, and rolled around to face the back of the arm chair. "I know you, Park Seonghwa. And you did what you believed was necessary. I can never agree with your reasoning... but I'll never fight you on it. Take your baby and go to bed. We're all tired."

Seonghwa couldn't see them, but there was fat tears rolling down San's face. He hadnt cried over this. But something had finally faded away and let him. He never referred to you as that. He liked to think you'd enjoy being separate from the life that Seonghwa had built for you. Not that you could notice most of the time, forced so deep into little space that your head felt light and fluffy like a bag of cotton candy.

    He must have finally come to terms with the fact that this was reality.

     "C'mon, baby girl," he heard him whisper, followed by a small groan as you were picked up. He waited until he heard Seonghwas door click. And he let all his tears free fall.

    Seonghwa set your tired form down on your side of the bed, crawling in after you while trying to push away that itch in his brain that was screaming that he forgot your nightly routine. He tucked that little voice away and settled in bed, bringing the soft comforter over you both and melting into his pillow with a sigh.

    He gathered you close as gently as possible and rubbed your back, staring up at the ceiling and listening closely to your breathes as they evened out to quiet snores.

      A smile played at his lips.

    For a moment he felt like everything would be okay. You had your medicine-

He felt you curl closer to his warmth, and he brought his finger tips up to brush your loose hairs back with a tenderness reserved only for you.

-And he had his.

ఌ

[diorkyeom]

THE @diorkyeom / @fairyhaos AO3 FIC REC LIST: PART 3

masterlist. part one. part two.

part three of all the ao3 fics that i've read for seventeen which i've loved, kudosed, and proceeded to download so i'll always have with me! lots of these are fics that have been in my library for a while that i just never got round to reccing, so expect a lot of verkwan in this haha

(list is in order of titles!)

By Any Other Name - bapilli

verkwan, omegaverse, oneshot

i don't even read omegaverse so idk how i even ended up reading this in the first place but. it's actually sooo so sweet. their dynamic is just sososo gentle and hansol just Likes seungkwan SO MUCH and it's So obvious and it makes me want to sob in my hands a little bit. this fic gets bonus points for its hurt/comfort elements and the gentle reassurance it has.

Give Me A Chance To Be Yours - lillupon

meanie, uni au, pining, chaptered

listen guys. there is So Much stuff in the meanie tag that if i rec a meanie fic, you just know it's the best of the best. the whole best-friends-who-act-like-theyre-dating thing is delicious But add that with oblivious mingyu and pining wonu and a confession not taken seriously and jealousy and you have an absolutely stellar fic. and wow, guess what, that's exactly what this fic is

Green (With Leaves) - kaiteki

soonhoon, plant shop au, chaptered (but short)

no bc why is literally the gentlest, sweetest, fondest soonhoon characterisation ever and why is it so accurate???? i Love dramatic soonyoung and dry humour jihoon and their fun little dynamic put into the loveliest friends to lovers plot ever. y'all know that i prefer strangers/ friends to lovers over e2l for soonhoon any day and this fic does it rly well

i'm all about you - checkyeshoshi

verkwan, football (soccer), chaptered

honestly seungkwan as a firecracker of a football coach is something ive Never thought about before but it also makes so much sense???? and hansol just being The Guy dragged into the team's shenanigans is so adorable and very much him imo. also seungkwan basically just gawking at hansol's muscles the entire time >>>

Insomnia - Mistehri

soonhoon, canon au, ib insomnia zero 1, oneshot

soooo soft and soooo sweet!!! i love little canon fics bc theyre always so self indulgent and i love that for the author. also adorable jihoon who can't sleep without soonyoung?? that's absolutely adorable and i cried a bit bc my heart was Melting at how soft they are

pack off the sunset glow - orphan_account

verkwan, roadtrip, non-idols au, oneshot

*clenches fists* i love these gay little boys so so much. it's so chaotic and fun and you literally can imagine everything that happens here and seungkwan being a dramatic mess as usual makes everything soo so much better

PEACH. - petitseok

seoksoo, non-idols, age regression, twoshot

honestly ive never even read those caregiver + regressor fics before but this one :((( instantly the best one of those types of fics ever like. i don't even know what made me click on it but it's So sweet and devastating and regressor!seok now has my heart bc of course this lovely man with big doe eyes should get to act like a 3 year old every now and then to relax

The Tiger On The Mountain - natigail

soonhoon, magical realism, shapeshifter hoshi, chaptered

hnnghghfh listen. people really underappreciate the potential for hybrid fics and shapeshifter fics that hoshi's tiger agenda brings, but this uses it really well! i love the interleaving of fantasy into Totally Normal Lee Jihoon's life and dude,,, the cliché tropes r all just so good

What's In A Name - thanku4urlove

verkwan, non-idols, fluff, crack, oneshot

seungkwan is so!!! himself!!! in this fic and i literally even have one section of this fic screenshotted bc i screamed about it to my friend since it was such an on-point seungkwan characterisation. also user thanku4urlove literally writes the best verkwan fics. i think i've recced their fics in every list so far

your name is a triangle - universefactory(jaeminjeno)

soonhoon, idolverse, established relationship, oneshot

mild misunderstandings and soft relationships. that's it, that's the fic. soonyoung is Sad and Sulking but jihoon is there to knock some sense into him and all is fine once again :D okay but also the way that the members r just so caring in the fic is vv sweet too

[angst-star]

Can we just talk about how soap is so high up on our favorite back ground (s2 wise calm down) objects? Here are some

Soap headcanons!

Mentions agere and angst!

1. Soap and Tissues have major beef, but it's the funny kind where they have no idea how it really started only that one of them WILL END IT-

2. Soaps a caregiver, extremely helpful to those having a hard time going small. Ready to clean a dropped pacifier in a MOMENTS NOTICE

3. Soaps a lesbian, she loves her platonic girlfriend mic and mics evil gf taco

4. Soap and Trophy dated very very briefly but quickly realized that one; they are both gay asf, and two; they Lowkey hate eachother in a "your my bestie but your so damn ANNOYING!!"

5. Knife confides in Soap a lot, it could be as a smaller one he feels comforted in her but he likes to talk to her about things that bother him, they have a older sister, younger brother relationship!

6. Soap and OJ are an awesome duo in making sure everyone's okay after any disaster, after everyone comes back (in our au!) and Mephone gets the force field up their the first to be in calming everyone down and somewhere safe to relax.

7. Soap still struggles in her cleaning methods, it's a scoping mechanism to help her feel safe and she does regress sometimes but often paper, tissues and mic are extremely patient with her and help her turn to more calming methods

8. Sometimes Soaps closer friends will wake up in the middle of the night to find her scrubbing the spot she was caught by X phone, had to be pulled away as she started to hurt her hands from the pressure

9. Soap really likes puzzles and neat crafts, loves having a play group for the smaller ones once a week to let them relax and enjoy themselves.

10. Soap kinda the older sister of the s2 losing contestants group, always ready to lend an ear and also be annoyed by some very silly (cheesy especially) shenanigans

Curious of our HC’s for other characters? Feel free to ask in our inbox with a doodle request!

Also sorry for some awful reason there is barely any soap gifs and this is what we could find lolll

[darl-ingfics]

Day Five

Fandom: Seventeen

Sickie: Mingyu (flu)

Caregiver(s): Seventeen

Word Count: 561

Notes: I wanted to expand this idea to include fever-induced, sleeptalking shenanigans. But this little story appeared on the page instead. Maybe we'll do the other idea later. But I hope you enjoy!

Mingyu had been sick for five days. Five whole days. It was terrible. 

The first day hadn’t been so bad, just a sore throat and stuffy nose. Nothing a little Dayquil and tea couldn’t fix. But the next day had brought a low grade fever and aching muscles and the type of congestion that just sits in your head and feels like concrete. He’d hardly moved from the couch since. Nausea had hit the third day, and the only movement from the couch he’d accomplished was, by some miracle, sprinting to the bathroom in time to throw up the meager bites of tea and rice and soup he’d been able to stomach the last few days. His fever spiked. He couldn’t even fall asleep for any extended period of time due to the congestion, the bone-deep aches and chills, the unrelenting cramps in his stomach. Day three had been the worst so far.

Day four passed in a blur of tossing and turning to just be able to breathe through the congestion. Thankfully, the fever had broken over night, but Mingyu knew he was still running hot. His only solace was his members, their commentary fluctuating in time with his medication schedule. When the Dayquil was doing its job and he felt somewhat human, he was treated to the usual barrage of ribbing and teasing. But when the medicine began to wear off, or when a new dose was still taking its time to kick in, the comments were softer, hands were gentler, soothing parts of Mingyu’s soul he hadn’t realized were hurting. 

Sure, he loved to roll with the punches, loved to provide comedy for his brothers and Carats, even as his own expense. Mingyu himself had once insisted “I can take it, I’m tall!” when Joshua had asked if he truly was okay with all the teasing. And their jokes made him feel more normal today, more like himself. 

But it was also a gift to experience the softness of the bond Seventeen had grown over the years. They weren’t just an idol group. They were family. 

Despite all of their best efforts, though, on day five, Mingyu still felt like death warmed over. Even after Wonwoo and Jun had dragged him into a warm shower, washed his hair for him and so gently massaged out his aching limbs, he still felt weak, germy, detached from reality. Even after Joshua and Seungkwan presented him with a steaming bowl of soup, and his stomach felt content and warm after eating rather than roiling and rebellious, he still felt out of sorts. Even after Soonyoung had tucked him back in on the couch under blankets toasty from the dryer (courtesy of Hansol), he still felt… just bad. 

But, even as his body stubbornly continued to feel horrible, the love from his members did more for Mingyu than he could ever express. He smiled as they bustled around him, sometimes pausing to tell him a joke or a story from the day, sometimes ruffling his hair or adjusting his blanket, sometimes just sitting quietly with him. He felt warmth, the good kind not from the fever, surrounding him. Even if this sickness held onto him for five more days, Mingyu knew he could handle whatever it had to throw at him, as long as he had his brothers holding his hands.