#captain awkward

[hatchan]

If we value consent, then we have to accept the possibility that people will decide to leave and not come back. We must be allowed to leave relationships and situations that harm us or no longer serve us, and therefore we must allow others the same freedom to weigh whatever they’ll gain in peace against what they might lose in connection and then do what they think is best for themselves. If they are being unfair or making an error in leaving, that’s still their mistake to make, and it’s up to them to come back and correct it. We get to decide if we’re willing to leave a door open and hear them out someday, because everybody gets to set conditions around who is allowed in their lives. But once someone goes, there is nothing we can do to hasten their return. So do nothing. People left behind often interpret being cut off as a punishment, and I’ve read enough letters from the people who leave that I can’t say 100% that it isn’t intended that way, at least at first. A good sign that leaving was meant to teach a lesson is if they keep popping back up to see if you’ve learned yours yet. But if somebody goes away and stays gone? The simplest and best explanation is that they wanted freedom more than they wanted anything else. Freedom from you, from the institutions you might represent, from the situation that brought them to that point, from painful reminders, from minor annoyances, from pressure or obligation to make the situation be any different. Freedom goes both ways, so when somebody hits that block button or tells you outright not to contact them anymore, they are telling you that there is nothing whatsoever you can do to fix whatever this is, and now you get to be free of it. Breaking up means that you don’t have to work on the relationship anymore. It’s done. Your work here is done. Grieve for what you lost. Then? Be free.

When you're on the receiving end of No Contact, by Captain Awkward

[summer-fruits-and-cream]

saving some good captain awkward letters

[sexymurderlobster]

I'm going to a Big Family Event this weekend. This is the first one since I came out as trans, and most of my family (to my knowledge) will not be cool or supportive. So I've been re-reading old Captain Awkward, and I found one quote that basically sums it up.

There are doubtless pockets of infection below the scar tissue that should be drained for real healing to occur, but I don’t want to cut myself to shreds on these particular people any more. I don’t want to figure out what makes them tick or why it happened. I just want to sit down to dinner or a game of rummy a few times a year and have the feeling of having parents.

[theformerastronomer]

This is a *holy shitshow*, but this is a thing of such transcendent beauty it deserved to be shared:

"The problem is that every single part of your plan on its own is the worst plan I’ve ever heard, and together they form a bullshit Voltron worthy of its own wing in the International Shitshow Museum."

[cynosurus]

I think Captain Awkward's defence of selfies from a recent post is beautiful:

For most of the last several hundred years, my face would have disappeared from history unless a man with the right skills and tools happened along and decided it was worth immortalizing. I think there are worse historical and cultural developments out there than whatever lets each of us decide that for ourselves.

[lilithsaintcrow]

“It is possible to have compassion and empathy for someone’s suffering without excusing or normalizing unacceptable behavior.”

[tawghasa]

resentment doesn't care who its daddy was once it's born.

Captain Awkward #1451: Love and money and compatibility

[gettheworkdone]

Dealing with family, politics, and holidays. STELLAR work from the captain as always!

Choice quotes:

“This whole blog is an exercise in practicing non-compliance with harmful expectations and people in personal and social spheres. What does compliance about this specific thing get you? What does it cost you? In the short-term, where is your line? In the long-term, how bad would it have to get before you made a different decision?

Conversely, if there is a version of celebration that feels good to you, like planning a solo holiday or spending time with affirming friends and family, or because the religious elements hold meaning for you, then do that. If going home for holidays or hosting gives you a sense of joy and normalcy during tough times, then please eke out what joy and comfort you can and deck the fucking halls while you still can. Righteously denying yourself the things you love isn’t going to save a single person that needs saving.”

…….

“…you’ll notice that these articles about “how to coexist peacefully at holidays despite contrasting politics” are always about the concessions and compassion we owe them, and never about the basic human fucking decency they owe us.

Which is why I recommend that whatever you decide to do this year about the problem of “holidays,” “family,” and the precise dread:fury ratio you’re rocking, make it about taking care of yourself and the people who are closest to your heart.”

[landunderthewave]

While the Captain mixed up "comfort" with "confront" in the newest post, it sure sucks to have everyone of the "mutual friends" in your flat go to the same Thanksgiving dinner and nobody even mentioning it to you.

https://captainawkward.com/2023/12/06/1414-how-do-you-have-a-relationship-conversation-with-someone-who-says-you-havent-broken-up-but-is-acting-like-you-have/

[bisonomy]

Corollary: If you read this and were afeared, this recent Captain Awkward Advice column is for you

the real danger of spending too much time with friends is you stumble out of ten days of happiness and good food like oh my god THAT was real life. my job means NOTHING

[misstoodles-doodles]

Safe & Sound 💙

I just really wanted someone to give Echo a blanket so why not let it be Rex

Closeups T-T:

Bonus Doodle:

[bixels]

They're the same character.

[mikichko]

john price is a man incredibly high up in the chain of command of your company. he does a little walking tour of the buildings during crew appreciation weeks. helps humble down his image and he gets to have some meaningful conversations. sometimes even gets to meet particularly wonderful people.

he spots you, the sole person whose eyes are glued to their computer screen, in a sea of employees who are gawking at him. can hear the steady typing from your mechanical keyboard, your eyes flittering across the screen. he pauses a little too long, prompting laswell to repeat herself to the group before they move along.

but he makes sure not to be too far away, keeping you in his peripheral. notices how you don't even bother to spare a look in his direction. even when talking to team members that would place john directly in your sight, your eyes only focus on them. not him.

you were damn good at your job. the color-coded whiteboard behind you, filled with deadlines and application information, confirms it. funny too, if the little bouts of laughter that escape your team's cluster are anything to go by. he wonders what pitch your voice carries, just out of reach for it to bless his ears. wonders what it'd take for you to look and grant him a smile.

he doesn't have to wait long. your mouth splits into a bright smile and for a second john wonders if you're glowing. but the smile's not for him. it's directed at a coworker, who, for john's sake, is anything but quiet. he can hear just how thick he lays the praise for a job well done.

john watches the transformation that takes place as his words land. your soft easy-going smile widening, pushing your cheeks further up. you immediately perk up, back straightening, shoulders pushed back, and leaning forward in the direction of your coworker.

oh. oh.

john can feel something warm beginning to pool at the bottom of his stomach. he cracks a knuckle before shoving his fists into his pockets, lest he does something that lands him in HR.

he'll keep this tidbit with him for the next time he sees you. just so he can let you know how much of a good job you're doing.

maybe even get a reward.

a/n: silly little idea that came to my head while I was at work of course :') still trying to get out of my head when im writing but we're making progress

[magicpiano]

Batfam AU where Bruce adopts Billy Batson but neither know each other's secret identity.

Bruce is determined to let Billy be the safe normal child who doesn't do any vigilante work. Although after a year the rest of the family convinces him that Billy should at least know about who they are. So Bruce sits Billy down for a serious talk but before he can get started Billy says, "I actually have something important to tell you too."

Convinced that his revelation is going to be much bigger, he lets Billy go first. Unfortunately for him, Billy has also decided that he trusts his new family enough to tell them his secret.

Anyways, Bruce's dream of a safe normal child flies out the door when Billy says, "I am actually the hero Captain Marvel."

[awkward-fink]

Finding them sleeping...

John Price

„John, dinner is ready.... John!” You stand at the foot of the stairs, one hand on the rail as you call for your husband upstairs. John had come home from a month-long mission just three days ago and he had done nothing but sleep and eat and lounge around, watching you, recharging his batteries. This morning, he had kissed your temple, one big hand palming the back of your neck lovingly the other grabbing the cheek of your ass possessively and had whispered into your ear, breath tickling the shell of your ear, that he would conquer the only foe living in this house. The one that hid away from open eyes and bred in the shadows, duplicating every time you turn around and become aware of the looming fight again.

Paperwork.

You hadn’t seen your noble knight and battler of paperwork since you brought him a small platter of snacks around midday, having concerned yourself with household chores and doing the dishes, going shopping (because that ravenous man had eaten you out of everything you had stored in the fridge, and even the cupboards).

So now, hours later, after not even hearing a peep from the man you call your husband, you decide to climb up the stairs again, to follow the old wooden hallway to the office right at the end, which’s door was slightly ajar.

“John? Are you alright? Did you hear me?” You speak up again, slowly pushing open the heavy oaken door, the angles creaking as you do. “John? Jo – oh.” You have to bite your lip as your eyes fall onto the big and burly man with slight greying hair at his temples.

John was still here, was still at his work desk. But that was where the picture you remembered from this midday differed from now. Instead of slightly leaning over the desk and rummaging through papers, one hand holding up his chin and head John was now entirely slumped over the surface of his desk, his hand still holding his pen while his other had dropped down, hidden from your sight. His cheek was smushed against the last paper he had worked on, ink stains in blue and red decorating his cheek and even the ridge of his nose. His eyes were firmly closed, his lips parted invitingly if not for the very small strand of drool at the edge of his mouth.

Your poor husband was asleep.

Dead asleep, like a stone, like the DEAD asleep. Just like the first three nights after you both came back from your two-week long honeymoon.

But you couldn’t leave him like that, his neck and back would surely be killing him tomorrow. So, you step closer, loudly, the floorboards creaking underneath your socked feet. (You had tried to touch him once, exactly once, when he was unaware and couldn’t hear you walking closer. He had been so sorry afterwards, coming back quick to himself, but he still had punched you hard and grabbed your arm to put you down. You knew your man, knew his work and the problems coming with it.)

“John… come one, hubby. Its me, wake up for me?” you murmur gently, slowly reaching out with your foot to tap his leg, poised to let jump back if you needed to. But it seemed as you didn’t, as your husbands’ eyes slowly opened, his nose crinkling. With a groan his body started to move, joints cracking and his muscles tense from sleeping in such a weird position.

“Love?” he muttered, his voice low and gravely from sleep, his eyes slowly focusing on you as he leans back in his chair. “What’s wrong?” “Nothing is wrong. I called you for dinner.” “Dinner? But you were just in to… Oh.”

You nod. “Yeah, you fell asleep. Maybe you should go to bed, hubby. You clearly need a bit more time to relax and sleep before you jump into the next fight again.” Instead of talking to you, he hums, a jaw breaking yawn following.

“Come to bed, Dinner is ready but its just in the oven to stay warm, it will be there later on.” “… come with me? Sleep better with you.”

“Always Love. Always.”

[puppetwoman17]

I never get over the part in almost every Captain Marvel identity reveal fic where Barry or some other hero(buts it’s usually Barry) is so horrified because he asked Cap to do something not child-rated(or did something not child-rated.

Examples include:

Playing the fuck, marry, kill game

Asking to go out for drinks

Asking about relationships

Smacking Cap’s ass and making several sexual innuendos(a fic without an identity reveal, also it was Hal)

Almost kissed him during a game of truth or dare(a fic without an identity reveal, it was Dinah,)

Just—like even if they only did one thing from this list or something else I’m not remembering, just imagine the embarrassment they would feel. And Billy would be so chill about it because it happened, like, three years ago and it’s something he was creeped out about in the moment, but he laughs thinking about it now.

He’s all “oh it’s fine! None of you knew my age, so I can’t fault you for talking about things that adults regularly talk about!”

And they all feel so bad because he’s such an understanding kid and it’s kinda freaking them out😧