#can’t delete it from my brain
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lakedo · 11 months ago
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The new episode:
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Me for no reason at all:
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(Based on @tulipsempai HC where Yellow has got a pet rock)
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tokruta · 1 year ago
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I can’t explain why, but this is my favorite hilson edit ever and I can/will watch it on loop for an uncountable amount of times
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ghoul--doodle · 5 months ago
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There’s a kid who recently started working at the charity store I work at and we’re usually working at the same time
And he’s a sweet kid but.
He stims all the time and in such a way that it triggers my misophonia and I feel SICK and there’s ✨sweet fuck all✨ I can do about it
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that-was-anticlimactic · 7 months ago
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one of the worst feelings ever is wanting to write but your hands hurt too much or the words just don’t want to work so you just sit there staring at a half finished doc with tears in your eyes bc you want to write and you need to write but everything is telling you that you can’t
#and that you’re a terrible writer and that no one cares aaaaaaand imposter syndrome kicks in and you just feel like crap#bc all your friends have been wriying recejtky so why can’t you??? cause they’re bETTER THAN YOU#lol idk why my head is so bad today#the feelings of inferiority and emptiness and idk worthlessness are strong and i hate it but i can’t stop it#i just wanna write!!! and like what i write!!!#but i Can’t and i haven’t liked anything i’ve written in Months and ugh i hate not being able to d something i wanna do#oh and now i’m crying??? why the frick am i cRYING litetally why is typing this making me Worse#sorry guys needed to rant#the inadequacy was strong today#something something students keep telling me how much they dislike me or how i’m whiny for asking them to be respectful and like#i Know i shouldn’t compare myself to my friends but gosh it’s hard when they’re all like. so much better than me.#and i don’t have a lot of time to be on tumblr bc of work so i just feel like i’m watching everything from afar and it’s no one’s fault but#my brain’s like no one is Doing anything it’s just my brain being dumb and i can’t stand it and I want to stop feeling empty and like i’m#missing a part of myself and like the words i write don’t matter gOD why can’t i just feel happy with where i am and not care what the kids#who hate me say or realize that no one cares that i’m not on much like i’m still Here and trying to interact it’s not like everyone hates me#for being busy or for liking side characters more than the main characters and just—#sorry#that felt good actually#idk what came over me#imma just. imma shower. then maybe delete my tags#sorry if anyone got this far aT ALL grace is either asleep or trying to sleep so i don’t wanna bother them since they slept poorly last nigh#okay done now for real sorry delete tags later sorry if you saw this and how freaking messed up ky freaking brain is
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g0rechan · 11 months ago
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omg is this weezer
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hauntedhopeghost · 1 month ago
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Why would I continue being me
When better people are all I see?
There's nothing changed - doesn't matter if I'm here
This time I might just disappear
-Good Enough by atsuover
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extinctpussy · 3 months ago
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me when someone tells me they care about and love me and want good things for me and think I’m a great person:
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xgoldenlatiasx · 7 months ago
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I feel like I’m at a point where OCD has taken over my life so so badly but I can’t get the help I probably need because of my current living situation, and the only thing I wanna do these days is engage with things I enjoy to at least help me get through it until I am able to, but even with that the moral aspect of my OCD keeps telling me I’m a terrible person if I engage with fun stuff for TOO long
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cherrysnax · 1 year ago
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when it comes to workers n creatives rights, specifically those in the industry I always feel so like conflicted abt shit like. pay ur workers or die, but why didn’t they cancel the flash…
ezra millers various crimes aside, they were workin on that shit since I was in high school and apparently it was booty ass?? worse than booty ass?? and the whole movie got leaked too.. Like when u have a situation like that what do you do
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One of the older women I sometimes sit with at the synagogue this morning apparently has ten relatives who are apparently missing. The rabbi said she thinks they might be hostages. Her mother died a month ago. The other woman I sit with always stands for the mourners Kaddish, and when I saw them last they were holding hands
#personal#i just. I don’t know how to hold the suffering of this community. In my brain. I want to convert. I feel safe and happy when I’m with them#But god if I don’t feel so young and useless talking with them these days.#I can’t even give them the understanding bc I’m a gentile. I don’t know the issues like they do. I can’t even say the prayers right#They like to tease me for mumbling my way through the hebrew prayers. It’s my Midwestern accent to them#delete later#dont rb. I just. Man.#I couldn’t stay for Torah service today. I was rattled by the prayer and I needed to do stuff today.#It feels so childish to wish for peace and it feels so hypocritical to want a world without violence when I’m such an angry person myself#But how am I supposed to feel when a woman who sent me home with a plate of brownies the night I met her bows her head in prayer for the sa#Safety of relatives in a war zone mere weeks after she finishes the mourning prayer for her mother who escaped the holocaust#I am twenty two and not even very good at it.#And every week I sit with a bunch of old women who have more scars than I’ll ever count.#I don’t know. I’m rambling because the fact that having ten relatives missing is just. Unfathomable to me.#When Ukraine got invaded we at least were able to account for my friends family with relatively less trouble. Not that it was better. I sti#Can’t read about Ukraine for more than three minutes#But I could keep the scale in check to stop the worst spirals#I want to be a pacifist. I want to make the world better. But I’m barely keeping myself from drowning just as it is.
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pepprs · 2 years ago
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my dad might have fucking covid. about to jump off a bridge
#purrs#he was unmasked in my future room with the contractors yesterday and one of them woke up sick this morning and stayed in bed all day and now#my dad is feeling sick and my mom isn’t even better yet and i just saw so many people (WHO ARE VULNERABLE / HAVE VULNERABLE FAMILY MEMBERS)#in the last couple of days and now i might have exposed them. i am about to LOSE my shit. i need all respiratory diseases to die immediately#i am TIRED of living in constant fear. and i am FURIOUS at my dad for not wearing a mask.#like do you people NOT FUCKING GET IT. You may be cavalier. you may say you don’t care if you get it you can fight it off. BUT YOU INTERACT#WITH OTHER PEOPLE. who may not WANT to get sick. Who may not be able to DURVIVE getting sick. WHAT IS SO HARD TO UNDERSTAND. if you see#someone wearing a mask they are doing that FOR A REASON!!!! TO PROTECT THEMSELVES!!!!! TO PROTECT THEIR LOVED ONES!!!!! so fucking WEAR ONE#OUT OF COURTESY! USE YOUR FUCKING BRAIN! i don’t care if they’re hard to breathe in. I don’t care if they’re uncomfortable. I don’t care if#it’s your own house and you’re not used to it. SUCK IT UP. you can be uncomfortable for five minutes. you KNOW how anxious we all are about#getting covid and you DIRECTLY endanger us and now i might have put other people in danger. and i didn’t even choose it I didn’t do anything#wrong. FUCK COVID. fuck this collective punishment nightmare. I am SO TIRED of living in constant fear because OTHER PEOPLE want to pretend#it’s over. it fucking ISNT. there are things I care about. there are people I care about. and if you were a decent fucking human being you#would understand that and MASK UP. not everyone gets to be so glib about it. it’s hard enough being seen as fucking insane and still taking#damage from having basicaly 0 social life because im too afraid to go anywhere or do anything it’s harder when people around me who i can’t#help but interact with exhibit that they do not actually care about how it is improtant to me that i do not get sick or get my loved ones#sick ESPECIALLY when it is my loved one himself who KNOWS how scared shitless we all are. it fucking hurts so bad. fuck covid. FUCK covid.#delete later#like. despair. i can wear my n95 mask all i want but i am still fucking HELPLESS when people around me don’t. despair. DESPAIR.
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courtingchaos · 1 year ago
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rosesradio · 1 year ago
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bending-sickle · 2 years ago
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blinds are broken. room’s a cave. furniture’s on the bed. i was already feeling overwhelmed so this is fine.
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cocosnowlo · 2 years ago
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Oh boy, urge to restrict sure is big today 🥲
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gregmarriage · 2 months ago
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‘i feel like ruining things because i like you too much’ is such a normal thing to think lol
#and it’s sister: ‘i feel like ruining things bc you’re a better person than me’#like i’m ’saving’ ppl from me?#fucked up way to think and i’m trying not to think like that anymore but sometimes i still do#i’m making up excuses in my head for why this can’t be something#like in whatever way that may be#i felt like this a few months ago but like the difference is the pros outweigh the cons#as in i’d rather be with them than not#bc before i just felt bad about it all#and now sometimes i feel bad but like i’m always gonna feel bad about something#my brain will just always be like that#but unlike a few months ago it feels different to ignore it?#bc the problem doesn’t feel real bc it isn’t real#like i’m just avoiding the problem as if it will go away#like it is actually all in my head as opposed to me just thinking it#and i don’t have to ruin things and nothing has to change#and maybe the universe is trying to tell me something by placing a similar situation in my life again#but also maybe it’s not#and i don’t know what’s gonna happen but i actually feel excited to find out#rather than full of dread at the thought of it all#like obviously i’m still anxious sometimes#but it’s not completely all consuming#and the voice doesn’t feel quite so loud#was gonna delete later but#maybe i’ll come back to this post in the future#and things will probably have changed all over again#and that’s okay and i’ll just have to accept that no matter what happens#here’s to the future i guess!
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