#had to put this out of my brain bc I’m going crazy lol

[extinctpussy]

me when someone tells me they care about and love me and want good things for me and think I’m a great person:

[danikamariewrites]

First off, I always love reading your work. Makes me smile when I’m going through it 🫶🏻

Could you do rhys x reader or maybe a batboys head canon for how they’d take care of you while life seems to be out to get you? Like every time you think your problems are solved, something blows up in your face? Maybe like something breaks in your flat, and then something crazy happens at work, and then like you get sick or something and reader is just super down and rhys/batboys are trying to bring her back up? Taking care of her and stuff?

Sorry if this is too confusing or similar to anything you’ve had before, my brain is a little short-circuited tonight lol and I’ve been kinda going through it so I can’t think straight

Dry Your Tears

Bat boys x reader

A/n: I dream of the three of them taking care of me. Also I’m sorry babe, I’m also going through it so we’re together on this

Warnings: Tamlin being mean to reader, anxiety, and fluff

Your luck for charming High Lords and their advisors has finally run out

You were on a roll on your little tour of Day, Winter, and Summer

But coming home from other courts empty handed sucked

Especially when it was the spring court

With Tamlin finally back in power with a group of advisors and his court put together he’s been full of himself acting all high and mighty

Yesterday was your first time there since the court was put together

Of course it was all males who didn’t respect you one bit and Tamlin was no help either

The spring high lord was very condescending and it brought out your insecurities about your place in the court

Tamlin also targeted your relationship with the boys, pointing out other flaws there

You slept in your own bed once you arrived at the town house since you left Spring so late

As you fell into a fitful sleep you dreaded the paper work you had to do in the morning

The next morning you found a note on the kitchen table from Rhys that read, Sorry we missed you darling. Emergency in Windhaven. We’ll be back tomorrow morning. We love you very much

You frown at the note but smile at the little heart drawn at the end

After breakfast you set out to do paperwork with infrequent visits from Amren about updates on court matters

Getting to the Spring Court report drained you

Just thinking about it makes your skin itch

You get up deciding to take a walk to clear your head

The walk didn’t help. It simply made things worse

There was too much around the town house that didn’t feel right to you. Like you needed to reorganize

But now you wanted new furniture and things bc the throw pillows didn’t look right and the couch looked too old

To distract from that you went into the kitchen to find a snack only to realize none of the boys went grocery shopping (who are you kidding it’s Nuala and Cerridwen that do it)

You slammed the cabinet shut

With the slam of the cabinet a cough crept up your throat

It was dry and you felt like you couldn’t breathe

You shouldn’t have traveled to Winter then Spring

Ignoring what the cough meant you remembered your report for Rhys and stomped back to your office

The report took way longer than you would’ve liked

Thinking about Tamlin and his comments about your relationship made you blood boil

As your anger washed away it turned into anxiety and sadness and doubt

Are you capable of this job if these males get to you so easily? Is your relationship and mating bond with the boys going to last?

You needed to shake this off. You closed your side of the bond as to not worry your mates. They don’t need to worry about you right now

You kept stewing in your anxiety and anger for the rest of the day

Amren left at 5 so you had dinner alone with what was left in the house. You’d go shopping tomorrow when your head was clear and you weren’t pissed at the fact that the boys forgot

Sleep evaded you that night as you wished your boys were here to hold you and whisper sweet nothings to you

Your cough kept you up all night as well

By the time the sun was up you were curled against against the headboard. Your eyes watering from that dry cough you’ve developed. You didn’t feel like moving, you were too tired. Too tired to even greet your mates at the door

Cassian’s heavy, booted footsteps come up the stairs first

Tears pricked your eyes from exhaustion and anxiety

Azriel silently pushed your bedroom door open, making his way over to your bed. “Hey princess, whats wrong?” You sniffle and start to cry harder into his chest

Without hesitating Az picked you up, rushing you to your shared bedroom. Rhys and Cass stop unpacking and move to comfort you

“My darling, why are you so upset?” You look up at the three of them with the saddest look on your face. Cassian wipes your tears with his thumbs giving you an equally sad look

You look back at Rhys tapping your temple for him to look at your memories. Rhys nods and you close your eyes

He shares your memories of the Spring meeting and your day yesterday. When it was over you opened your eyes to see Az and Cass fuming. Rhys was giving you a sympathetic look. “Darling, no. You do not listen to a word they say. You do not believe them. Everything they said was a lie, alright.” Rhys said firmly, cupping your face in his large hands

“You are our world, sweetheart. Don’t think for a second that you aren’t important.” Cassian stressed, kissing your forehead

The next few days are spent taking care of you and cheering you up

You read together, go out for meals, shopping for clothes books and anything else your heart desired or whatever the boys felt like spoiling you with. The boys even did the grocery shopping

They take turns holding you on their laps, keeping you tucked into their chest as they tell you stories from camp or when they first fell in love with you and other relationship stories

You have to admit, it was hilarious to imagine the people of Velaris staring as their High Lord, the General, and Spymaster food shop

Laughing about it did make you feel better

They spent the next few nights worshiping your body. Paying attention to every part of you that gets a reaction. Working you up to the most earth shattering orgasms you’ve ever had

By the end of the week you had put Tamlin and his court out of your mind, feeling overjoyed at the amount of love your mates show you

[zaimta]

Hey. How are you doing? Congrats on the followers. I'm a huge fan. I wanted to put something in for your event. I was hoping to have Ace with the prompt "i’ve been wanting to kiss you for a while." please? I don't know how much detail you would like. But I think it would be cute if they were childhood friends. But whatever idea you want to use it okay with me. It will be great no matter what. Thank you and congrats. <3

zai: i love me a good childhood friends to lovers it itches my brain just right! the actual event was a year ago but imma still write this bc why not lol ps everybody say ty bochi for the fire manga cap

ˏˋ«────── « 𓆩♡𓆪 » ──────»

growing up together the two of you were basically inseparable. he always found himself by your side, he couldn’t help himself there was something about you. maybe it was the way you never backed down when he argued with you, or the way you cared for luffy and got along with sabo, or definitely how you called him stupid for letting his name define him.

sabo elbowed ace with a small smile on his face “you’re staring at them. again. everyone knows you like them you know you’re so obvious.”

ace stammered over his words, his face quickly turned red as the blush creeped up his neck “im not! i was just lookin out for luffy. you know luffy plays rough and i didn’t want him to injure y/n. yeah that’s it.”

sabo’s grin gets wider and becomes smug “oh so you’re worried about y/n?”

“shut up!” ace yelled feeling embarrassed and with his pipe raised as if he was going to swing.

it’s been years since that conversation. the quartet, unfortunately, became a trio. although the conversation ace had with sabo was years ago he remembered it as if it was yesterday. he’s been crushing on you since you were kids he’s not the shy type but for some reason, you have that effect on him. anytime he tried he always chickened out.

but today was the day he was leaving to sail the world so it was now or never.

“are you sure you don’t wanna join my crew ace? you can be first mate!” luffy smiled widely at his brother. he asked the same question hundreds of times and got the same answer.

ace laughed and smiled “please we both know that i’m the captain and you’re first mate luffy. i’ll see you later yeah? try not to cause too much trouble while i’m gone luffy.”

ace’s gaze landed on you, his eyes visibly softening when he looks into yours “how do you feel about an adventure on the seas y/n?” he extends his hand to you “it’d drive me crazy to be apart from you.“

“what? come on ace you can’t steal my first mate!” luffy protested with his arms crossed.

you raised a brow and smiled at luffy “first mate? i thought ace was your first mate luffy?”

“he’s a captain now so it wouldn’t work get with the program y/n!”

you laughed and gently nudged luffy with your shoulder “im gonna miss you luffy.” ace’s eyes lit up and he smiled like a love-sick fool “y/n..”

you put your hand in his. he pulled you into him, his free arm snaking around your waist “welcome aboard first mate.”

luffy stuck his tongue out at the two of you “traitors!” he then laughed with his usual infectious grin on his face.

“oh great he took the only one with sense.” dadan grumbled and rubbed her temples it was going to be a long few years with no one to keep luffy in check.

as you sailed off with ace you watched as the island became smaller and smaller, he cupped your face in his hands. his touch was gentle yet rough “there’s something about you. you drive me insane always have and you always will.” he leaned closer your lips mere inches apart. he wanted you to close the gap he wanted to see if you wanted him as much as he wanted you.

you leaned in and closed the gap, your lips gently molding with his. one of his hands moved down to your hip to pull you closer when you unfortunately had to pull apart for air he bruised his lips against yours and pressed a kiss to your lips.

“i’ve always wanted to kiss you…we’re gonna burn the house down baby just watch.”

[cheollipop]

Ok ok ok idk if you’re still taking stuff for your sleepover (which by the way congrats on 2k omg) BUT I had a thought —

Paramedic!San who helps calm down panicky reader when they have to be taken by ambulance to the hospital for something idk but the entire time San is just talking to them and like introducing himself and keeping the reader distracted from whatever medical stuff is going on so they can calm down or won’t pass out.

Just things like San calling the reader darling or something cute like that from the second he gets to their side and talking all sweet to them or saying stuff like ‘hey just keep your eyes on me’ or like ‘I’ve got you’ just AH

I feel like it has San behavior and I just like being taken care of lol

2𝙠 𝙎𝙡𝙚𝙚𝙥𝙤𝙫𝙚𝙧 𝙀𝙫𝙚𝙣𝙩

I remember reading your ask for the first time and full-on swooning over this omg, marian your brain....let me kiss it. this is seriously so him and writing it had me giggling and blushing like crazy bc??? personally, I'd be cracking a bone every other week if i were reader, just to have him hold my hand and calm me down. just me? okay T-T this was so fun to write, so thank you for sending this in!! and thank you for all the support, it means so much to me <33 happy reading~

pairing: paramedic!choi san x gender neutral!reader

w.c.: 0.7k

tags: fluff, reader is called pretty, tw: ankle injury, reader gets anxious about it

Echoing voices overlapped around you, and the pain in your ankle persisted as the paramedics rolled your stretcher into the back of the ambulance. You squinted under the white light, and nearly flinched away from the sudden chill on your skin as one of the responders pressed an icepack onto the swollen flesh, a hand around your calf stabilizing it to prevent further injury. Everything was happening too fast, your chest heaving with anxiety as the vehicle rolled over bumpy roads.

A dark head of hair popped into your vision, honeyed voice and delicate hands calming your racing heart, “take deep breaths for me, darling,” he spoke, a smile stretching his plush lips while he squeezed his hand around yours. “My name’s San, can you tell me yours?”

Despite its simplicity, it took you a few moments to process his question, smiley eyes distracting you from the beeping equipment surrounding you. “(Y/n),” you spoke, managing not to shiver while he maintained eye contact.

San had an intimidating face, and yet his aura emanated cordiality and benevolence, multiplying with every millimetre his lips stretched. “And what’s a pretty thing like you doing to hurt their ankle this bad, hm?”

The sudden teasing shift in his tone caught you by surprise, heat flushing your face as you stumbled over your words, attempting to explain the way you tripped over uneven ground while he kept you bound under his unyielding gaze.

“San, stop flirting with the patient,” a voice interrupted you mid-story, and San looked back at the man perched by your feet in annoyance.

“Can you ice her ankle in silence, Woo?” The faux smile he put on while talking to the two-tone haired man turned genuine when he moved his attention back to you, his fingers still wrapped around your palm and squeezing gently, easing the tension weighing down on your chest. “Ignore him, he’s just jealous I’m the one talking to you,” he winked.

So he was flirting.

Warmth tingled the skin at your ankle as soon as the paramedic pulled the ice pack away, examining the area and assessing the degree of swelling. The pain started again, and your eyes shifted down to peek at the bruising flesh, eyebrows furrowing as the anxiety threatened to close up your airways.

“Hey, hey, eyes up here, darling,” San’s hand left yours momentarily to close around your chin, guiding your focus back to him, to glimmering orbs and dimpled cheeks. “We’re gonna take care of you, alright? Woo just needs to give your skin a break from the ice,” he explained, moving his fingers back to yours.

You nodded, allowing the deep decibels to mute the pain panging in your joint, blinking slowly while his lips moved. You knew he was trying to distract you, to calm your quivering nerves, and it was working. Small talk worked. Questions about your hobbies, favourite shows—that you happened to share a few of—and his small rant about his cat, worked. And before you knew it, the ice pack was back on your skin, and your fingers had long since ceased their restless trembling underneath his own.

The ambulance slowed before stopping completely, the back door swinging open to reveal the emergency room entrance, and you couldn’t help the disappointment slumping your shoulders. San must have noticed, giving your hand a tight squeeze before moving away to help the other paramedics roll you out the back and onto the pavement. Once your stretcher fixed on secure ground, his fingers closed around your bicep to pull you up and off it, helping you into the wheelchair a nurse was perched behind.

He kneeled by your side, both his hands finding yours as he spoke, eyes wide and a gentle, amiable smile gracing his lips, “it was nice meeting you, (y/n).” He squeezed around your knuckles, his next words quieter, as though he wanted no one but you to hear them, “take care of yourself, you won’t need to sprain another ankle to see me again.”

Deep dimples sunk into the soft skin of his cheeks, a sickeningly sweet smile on his lips as he sent you off with a wink, a crumpled paper tucked into your palm and butterflies thrashing around in your lower belly.

[btsgotjams27]

this is us ~ jjk | epilogue

✨ title: this is us | complete (sequel to all grown up) ✨ pairing: jungkook x f!reader | ✨ rating: m/18+ | minors dni ✨ genre/au: drama, romance, angst, fluff, smut | est!relationship, age gap, best friend’s brother ✨ playlist | ✨if you haven’t read the prequel to this, please do so here! :) ✨ a/n: hi my TIU darlings. we have finally come to the conclusion of this story. 1.5 years later. it's crazy to think about. anywho, i've done my best to research IVF treatments and outcomes, so don't come for me if something is inaccurate (i tried!!!) ✨ a/n 2: remember we have our little TIU celebration!! which I'll make a post about on Friday, which will include some fun things for you. i hope you'll join in on the fun. lastly, thank you so much to everyone who has followed this little story from the beginning. i owe y'all so much!!

[ SERIES MASTERLIST ]

epilogue ~ us | wc: 5.9k

warnings: minor language, the pacing is fast so bear with me!, mentions of ~ fertility treatments (IVF) + needles + low sp*rm motility, some sad thoughts, a game reference to the tv show (This Is Us--iykyk), note: IVF cycles are typically around 2 months, oc jokes about unaliving jk bc he got her preggo, descriptions of labor (err--if you don't wanna read it, then just skip it??), idk I think that's it in terms of warnings lol--if I miss any, kindly let me know

~ Six Months Later ~

Two percent.

The IVF success rate for women ages 35 to 37, and you were smack dab in the middle. Well, you haven't turned 36 yet.

Your face was buried in your hands as you repeated the number. You sat back, turning to Jungkook. “The success rate is 2%. Two!”

He looked just as disappointed after the two of you spoke to the third fertility specialist within a few months, but Jungkook was always optimistic. “It’s better than zero.”

You groaned, leaning over and burying your face in your hands again. He rubbed in circular motions up and down your back. Your eyes began to well up, tears on the verge of falling.

“I know you’re just trying to make me feel better, but this fucking sucks.” Everywhere you went, the outcome was the same. There was nothing hopeful about the situation.

Jungkook massaged the back of your neck. He muttered softly, ‘Hey.’ He stood, holding your hand, making you stand with him. He pulled you in for a hug. His body warmth radiates as he embraces you. “We’re gonna be part of that 2% success rate.”

You pressed your ear to his chest. His heartbeat is steady. Bum. Bum. It begins to calm your own.

You don’t want to say your thoughts, but your mouth is faster than your brain. “But what if we’re not?” Your heart speeds back up.

Jungkook immediately withdraws from you, grabbing your shoulders and making you square up with him. “Okay—time to play ‘worst case scenario.’ Go.”

The two of you started this little game, taking turns saying all the bad things you’re thinking. With no judgment, no censorship—saying aloud your fears takes away the power they hold, according to your therapist.

“We get pregnant and lose the baby.”

It was a scenario you already had in the past.

“We try all four cycles and don’t get pregnant,” Jungkook says.

“We exhaust every option, spend all our money, go broke, have to move in with Yuna and Namjoon, and still don’t get pregnant.”

Jungkook blinks. There’s no show of emotion on his face. He closes the distance between you, cupping your face. “Or—we keep trying, get pregnant, and have a baby.”

You gaze into those doe eyes you love so much. You couldn’t do this without him and the hope and support he brings. “I’m glad you’re here with me.”

The corners of his mouth curved up, “Sorry baby, you can’t get rid of me so easily.”

“Baby?”

“I mean—wifey.”

You chuckled, teasing him at his own game. “Can we go home and veg out?” All you wanted was a bowl of ice cream and your comfort movie.

“You’re not giving up on me, are you?” Jungkook raises his eyebrow.

“Just for tonight, okay?” You give a small smile. “Then tomorrow morning, I’ll put on my brave face.”

“Deal.”

“Hmm, which one do you think Hyunie and Taehyung would like?” You tilted your head, debating between the mylar helium balloons. One said ‘Hello baby’ with zoo animals, and the other said ‘Sweet baby girl.’

Who knew picking out balloons would be so hard?

“I like the ‘Sweet baby girl’ one, and here,” Jungkook points to a cloud-shaped balloon, “Get this one too.”

The two of you walked hand in hand down the hall, ready to greet the happy parents. Hyunie was in early labor for a day and a half before active labor started. She texted, saying it was the longest few days of her life.

“This will be us soon,” Jungkook says before approaching their hospital room.

You flashed a thin smile. “I hope so.”

When you walked in, Hyunie happily ate a jello dessert, and Taehyung was passed out on what looked like an uncomfortable chair. His hand is gripping the bassinet where baby Hani is all bundled up in a swaddle blanket and beanie with a gigantic bow–almost bigger than her.

Hyunie grins when she sees you, and Jungkook brings her index finger to her lips, mouthing ‘shh,’ and points to her sleeping babies.

You walk to Hyunie’s bedside, and Jungkook goes to Taehyung’s.

“Hi, Mama,” you say, leaning to hug her. “How are you feeling?”

“I’m doing much better after this jello–just the energy boost I needed.”

“Aw–good! Now, I will ditch you and steal your baby for a moment.”

Hyunie giggles. “Be my guest!”

You stroll over to Jungkook as he’s standing in front of the bassinet, facing Hani. You wrap your arm around his waist, placing your head against his chest, focusing on his heartbeat.

“She’s so tiny,” he points out.

“Are you going to hold her?”

“What if I break her?”

You pinch his belly. “You’re not going to break her. Just be extra careful and support her neck and body.”

Jungkook didn’t have the luxury of being around when Indie was a baby, but he’ll get some practice in with baby Hani.

He took a deep breath and shook off his nerves. He stepped closer to the bassinet, his left hand cradled underneath Hani’s neck, and then you muttered to take his right hand underneath her bottom. He gently lifts her from the bassinet, trying to shift her head closer into the crook of his arm.

Hani begins to stir and squirm in his arms, but you reassure him that it’ll be okay. “Gently rock her, and she’ll settle.”

“How are you so good at this?” He looks at you before focusing on Hani again.

You giggle. “Well, I have a pretty good record as an Auntie.”

“You’re going to be a great mom,” he says, kissing your cheek. “Me as a dad? That’s a different story.”

“It’ll take practice, Kook. We can’t be so hard on ourselves already.”

“Mm, you’re right.”

Jungkook feels a kick against his leg. It was Taehyung probably having an intense dream.

“I’m up! I didn’t fall asleep!” Taehyung hollers, immediately sitting up.

All of you blink at the newly tired dad and start laughing. This would hopefully be you and Jungkook soon. Tired and delusional with a baby in your arms.

The white walls and tiled floors were becoming familiar to you and Jungkook. You slowly turned to your husband, who was hunched over, holding the bridge of his nose. It was your turn to comfort him.

You focused on the small spider crawling down the wall, sucking in your lips, trying your best not to laugh.

He turned to you, pouting. “Don’t laugh.”

You raised your eyebrows, lips still sucked in, shaking your head. “Do you see me laughing?”

“You’re laughing on the inside. I know it.”

Your hands rubbed his shoulders, rocking him back and forth. “Kook–it’s nothing to be ashamed of.”

He leaned back, head against the wall. “I was,” he paused, “nervous.”

“Mmhm,” you nodded. “I bet that’s the reason.”

Jungkook groaned, stomping his feet, burying his face in his hands.

On the inside, you were chuckling just a bit. You knew how much he prided himself in how much he could come. He’d always point it out, especially after you two started trying for a baby.

Like how he’d always comfort you, you gave him tickle scratches along his spine, letting him know it’d be okay.

“I’m sure you’re not the only man who has a high sperm count but has low motility.”

He pops back up. “I need to see my little men under a microscope. Whoever the lab tech is must be wrong.”

“Kook—” you stressed. “I did a lot of research, and they say men with high sperm count and low motility can still have kids.”

He lets out a deep breath. “I know. I’m just being a big baby.”

You wrap your arms around his neck, pulling him to you. “See, I don’t need a baby—I have one right here,” you teased, patting his cheek as he pouted again. “I’m kidding. I want a little human with your eyes and cute nose.” You reached to bite his nose gently, and he chuckled, going for a kiss.

“Worst case scenario?” he asks.

You tilted your head, thinking about the infinite possibilities, but the two of you always came up with the same outcomes. “How about the best-case scenario?”

Jungkook hums.

“We get pregnant and have a baby.”

He perks up. “We have two babies.”

You blink at your starry-eyed hubby, holding out your hand in defense. “Okay–let’s just try to have one first.”

You hissed, closing your eyes when the sharp needle pierced your flesh. Thankfully, it was the last day of injections. Jungkook was always a champ when it came to these shots.

He set the syringe down, grabbing a piece of gauze to apply pressure on the wound. “Are you okay?”

You nodded. This was round two of your IVF cycle. The first cycle was tough–you were mentally, physically, and emotionally drained. Your mood was constantly changing. You were bloated, fatigued—you name it, you had it.

Even Bam could tell something was happening. He was on alert, guarding your every move. He was the spitting personality of Jungkook.

Bam was lying outside the bathroom door, waiting for the two of you to finish. As soon as you walk out, his head perks up, and he stands to his feet, following you to the bed. Jungkook drapes the duvet over you and hands you the TV remote. Bamie looks at you with his doe eyes, practically asking if he could come to snuggle with you.

“Come on,” you say, gesturing for him to get onto the bed, and he does without hesitation. You wouldn’t mind Bamie snuggles today.

Jungkook sits on the bed’s edge. He inches closer, stroking your cheek. “Are you sure you don’t want me to stay home today?”

You shake your head no. “I’ll be fine. I have Bamie.”

He gives a small smile. “I’ll only be there a couple of hours, then I’ll be back. Call me if you need anything or want me to pick up dinner, okay?”

You hummed, kissing him before turning on the TV. Bamie looks at the two of you, then turns his attention to the screen.

Jungkook stands by the door, saying goodbye. He closes it, his hand lingering on the knob. He wants to stay and snuggle with you and Bam all day, but he also has to network to be a candidate for this new job.

“Okay, Bam. What should we watch?” You look over, and his eyes are already closed, making you chuckle. “Can’t hang, huh, bud?” You ruffle his floppy ears.

You’re unsure what you’re in the mood for.

Thriller/Suspense. Nope.

Romance. Nope.

Action. Maybe.

The trailer started playing for Bullet Train. You’re not a huge fan of Brad Pitt, but you could digest his acting when you felt like it. Sure, why not? There was nothing else to do.

It was strange how you found yourself in Ladybug, Brad Pitt’s character. It’s not like you’re an assassin, but you were privy to misfortunes.

You stopped yourself and shook the notion off. No. This round of IVF was going to work. The trigger shot, the egg retrieval, and the transfer would be successful. Everything will work out. Your fate was not like Ladybug; instead, you’d be lucky.

~ Two Weeks Later ~

As you had anticipated, everything went smoothly with the rest of cycle two. And today was the big day: finding out if it worked.

Unfortunately, the only mishap was that Jungkook’s interview was at the same time as your appointment. He was so close to skipping it, but you threatened him with divorce and no sex if he didn’t go.

You had already come in two days earlier to give a blood sample and were confused about why you had to come in again so suddenly.

Maybe you should take it as a good sign, but you didn’t want to get your hopes up for fear that it wouldn’t be a positive outcome—you’d just expect the unexpected. If it happens—great. If it doesn’t, then you’d keep trying.

Two knocks on the door before it became ajar, and your doctor stuck their head in.

“Hello, hello,” they chirped, opening the door wider as they stepped in.

You sat in the chair against the wall, and they rolled out a stool, sitting before you. You’re anxious. You wished they’d spit it out already.

“Let me start with some good news,” they say, and you listen intently. “There is detection of hCG in your body.”

Your eyes scan their face for the bad news.

“And the not-so-bad news is, we’ll need you to come in every day for the next 8-10 days so we can monitor your levels.”

Your mouth is open, but no words or even thoughts are forming. Again, you didn’t want to celebrate too early.

“Does this mean what I think it means?” you ask, twiddling with your thumbs, your heart ready to burst with joy.

The doctor smiles. “It’s a good sign.”

You suck in your lips and suppress a smile. Your skin is warming up, and you only want to call Jungkook and tell him the good news.

But the little voice in your head was like a broken record, ‘Don’t get ahead of yourself.’

“Today, we’ll monitor your levels, and as I said previously, we’d like you to come in every day until we feel like your levels are steady.”

You nodded in agreement.

The real question was, would you tell Jungkook or just wait? He’d want to know, right?

You had gone in every day to test your levels, and each time they increased, your heart would leap when you were given the results.

Jungkook raised an eyebrow, weary of your frequent daily outings, but you told him you just needed fresh air and time to yourself, and there was nothing he needed to worry about.

You felt guilty for keeping it from him. He’s your husband, after all. In your mind, it would soften the devastation if this embryo transfer didn’t work. At least you would have had time to process it and then help Jungkook, and then the both of you wouldn’t be a mess simultaneously like the first go-around.

“Congratulations.”

You clutched onto the baby photo album against your chest as you turned around to find a sales clerk. “Oh–um, thank you.”

“Is there anything I can help you find?”

You shook your head no. This was so new that you didn’t know where to begin. “I’m just looking, thank you.”

She smiled warmly. “Well, if you have any questions, please don’t hesitate to ask,” she said before walking away.

The only thing you could think of was if Jungkook would be upset at you for waiting so long to tell him.

You took a moment to breathe before entering the apartment. Your hand trembled as you reached for the doorknob. As soon as you open the door, you’re greeted by Bam, who sniffs your bag. You kneeled before him, placing a kiss on his face.

“Where’s Jungkookie?” you whispered, ruffling his ears. Bam licks your face before leading you to him.

He’s sitting on the couch, legs crossed on the coffee table as you sit beside him. You reach over to kiss him.

“Did you have a nice little outing?” he asked, setting the remote down. Bam lays down by both your feet.

You hummed. “I got you a little present.”

His lips thinned, and he narrowed his eyes.

“Just–open it.”

Jungkook removes the tissue paper and takes a photo album with a note attached. “Looks like I’ll get to call you a new name…” he reads confusedly.

At the end of the note is an arrow. He flips open the album to see the word ‘daddy’ written at the top of the page and a black and white ultrasound photo.

“Is this–is this what I think it is?” He slowly turned to you, his eyes glistening.

You nod, suppressing your smile, and a tear runs down your cheek. “We’re pregnant.”

Jungkook closes his eyes and breathes out a deep sigh. “Is this why you’ve been going out so much?”

“Please don’t be mad at me. I just–I didn’t want us to be disappointed again. I wanted us to have a win, and last time was devastating cause I feel like it's always hard to come by wins–well, for me, at least. Then your whole low motility thing made you sad. When they called me to come in again, I didn't want to get my hopes up in case we didn't get pregnant, and then they kept calling me. Of course, I became more hopeful and hated that I was more hopeful, and then I felt guilty for keeping this from you, and now we're pregnant and finally have some space to breathe.”

You finished your rambling and were too busy to notice Jungkook grinning from ear to ear. 

“Anything else?”

You shook your head no.

Jungkook holds your hands. "Baby, I'm not mad at you.”

“You’re not?” You thought he’d be furious.

He shook his head, placing his hand on your belly, gently rubbing it. “A little human is growing inside of you.”

You look down, then back up at him. “Wanna see the video?” 

Jungkook flashes a smile and nods. You pull out your phone, scrolling to the ultrasound video you recorded. It plays, then zooms into the monitor. The tech points out the moving blob in the corner, and the sound of whooshing and thumping can be heard.

Just as listening to Jungkook’s heartbeat was always reassuring for you, hearing your baby’s heartbeat became another. It was proof that the baby did exist. It’s real. It’s not a figment of your imagination.

The video was on a loop, and you hadn’t realized you were still smiling at the screen. Jungkook holds your chin with his thumb and index finger, making you turn to him. “We did it.”

You hum. “We did.”

Week 20

(Five Months Pregnant) 

To say you haven’t been worried sick since you found out you were pregnant would be a lie. You even bought a fetal monitor and made Jungkook figure out how to use it. You did everything by the book because you didn’t want anything to go wrong.

And searching the internet for what could be wrong with you didn’t help. It gave you more concern than anything.

Today was a big day.

You didn’t know if the flutters in your belly were the baby or because you were nervous. Maybe both.

Jungkook sat beside you on the bed, holding your hand–gripping actually.

You tapped him, telling him to let go.

“Sorry–I’m just nervous.”

“You’re nervous?” you chuckle. “At least you don’t have a full bladder. I hate this part of pregnancy.” Having a full bladder encourages better sound energy, says your internet search, and having a baby in your belly and a pea-sized bladder was a recipe for disaster.

The sonographer comes in and greets you both. She preps you, squeezing the cold gel onto your belly and moving the small electronic device from side to side.

This is the first time Jungkook has seen an ultrasound live. You hold out your hand, and he squeezes it. Both of you are glued to the screen.

“I’m going to do some measurements of the baby, and would you guys like to know the sex of the baby?”

The two of you look at each other and answer simultaneously, “Yes.”

She chuckles lightly, “Noted.”

She continues clicking her mouse, pointing out the features of your baby. “Here’s the baby’s heart.” She moves the device to a different section of your stomach. “Oh—they’re waving. See their little hand?”

You and Jungkook lean forward, squinting at the screen.

“It’s so tiny,” you pout and look at Jungkook.

“And now she has the hiccups. Can you feel it, mama?”

You both turn to each other. “She?”

“Congratulations, you’re having a little girl.”

Jungkook cups your face and kisses you. He pulls away, smiling and giggling. “Oh man—I’m gonna be outnumbered,” he jokes.

“Good—we’ll put you in your place so you can treat us like queens.”

He grins. “Always.”

Week 37

(Nine Months Pregnant)

“Hubby!”

You hear Jungkook yelling, ‘Yeah’ from the other room.

“I can’t reach the remote!” You tried for 5 minutes before calling out to Jungkook. 

“Be right there!”

“And bring me pickles!”

Typically, you didn’t care about pickles, but this baby girl wanted pickles, specifically from the jar, during this pregnancy.

“‘Kay!”

A few moments later, Jungkook shows up with a jar of pickles and sets it on the nightstand. “You know you can download the TV app on your phone, so that way, you don’t need the remote.”

“Yeah, but that would require me to reach for my phone too.” Which was right next to the remote.

Jungkook shook his head and chuckled, handing you the remote. “How are my girls doing, hmm?” He plopped on the bed, gently laying his head on your belly.

“I need this baby to come out. I don’t know how much longer I can handle this.”

Everything hurts—your back, your neck, your legs. And not to mention, your feet would swell if you didn’t take a walk around the block with Bam. You couldn’t even sleep on your back anymore, and if you accidentally woke up lying on your back, this humongous basketball stomach would ache like no tomorrow.

“Just a few more weeks, then she’ll be here.”

“Don’t you dare get me pregnant again!” you joked.

Now you understand what Yuna and Hyunie went through. Were you a one-and-done type of person? It sounded reasonable right now.

Jungkook propped himself on his elbows. “And what if our baby girl gets lonely? She’ll need a sibling.”

You grabbed the jar of pickles, attempted to open it, and then gave it to Jungkook to do the honors. “Nope—that’s why we have Bamie. He’s great entertainment for all the kiddos,” you reasoned.

Bam looks up when he hears his name but goes right back to ignoring the two of you.

He chuckled. “We’ll reevaluate once we get this whole parenting thing under wraps.”

You groaned after biting into the crisp and juicy pickle. “Nuh-uh,” you mumbled, wiping the juice down your chin. “Having your baby has limited my food options for nine months—that’s too long for me to go without sushi and cold-cut sandwiches.”

“You don’t even like cold-cut sandwiches.” Jungkook narrowed his eyes and pursed his lips at your ridiculousness.

“Yeah—but what if I wanted one? Then I don’t have that option, now do I?”

“I love you, you crazy, beautiful woman.”

“I love you too.”

“Tell you what…”

You’re about to grab another pickle from the jar. “Hmm?”

“I’ll sneak in sushi for your first meal after we have the baby.”

Your eyes widened, and you set the jar back down on the nightstand, then turned back to him. “Don’t let your mom find out. She will riot if my first meal isn’t seaweed soup.”

“I’m sure she’ll be distracted by the baby that she won’t even notice.”

“As long as I get sushi, I’ll be happy.”

“Jeon Jungkook—“ You gripped the sleeve of his shirt. “I’m going to kill you for doing this to me.” You’re delusional, and you’ve been in labor for too long.

Everything happened so quickly that you didn’t even have time to process it. Your water didn’t break like it does in TV shows or films. You woke up in the middle of the night with intense cramps, thinking you pulled a muscle. You hadn’t woken up Jungkook in case it was a false alarm, but after timing your contractions on your app—it was ‘go’ time. When you arrived at the hospital, got checked in, and saw the doctor, you were already 7cm dilated, and there wouldn’t be enough time to get an epidural. So—you were doing this au natural.

He gulps. “You got this—I believe in you.”

You sigh, throwing your head back against the pillow. You’ve been pushing for an hour, and nothing has progressed. Everyone keeps telling you, ‘You’re doing great,’ but you don’t feel like it. Your hair is stuck to your face because you’ve been sweating profusely. All those mom influencers you’ve seen on TikTok and Instagram were all liars. How did they look so cute while giving birth?

“Kook—you have to do this for me. You have to push out this baby. I can’t do it.” You don’t even bother to look at him. Instead, you focus on breathing because you can feel another contraction coming.

Jungkook chuckles lightly and stands, leaning over to kiss your forehead. “You know, if I could do it, I would.”

“I know—I’m—I’m so tired.”

He cups your face. “Just focus on me. On our baby girl, and nothing else. Okay? That’s all that matters right now.”

The doctor looks at the monitor. “Okay, are you ready to push again?”

You’re scared–scared you can’t do this.

And you’ve been through a lot of shit in your life, so you thought you’ve always been tough and could handle anything, and at this point, you were testing your limits.

You close your eyes and take a deep breath, mentally telling yourself, ‘You got this.’

“Okay, mama. You have to push as hard as you can.”

You can feel the tension building and know it’s time to do your best. Jungkook is helping you hold your leg back while you hold the other. There’s a burning sensation; everything feels so tight as you push.

“You’re doing great, Mom. I can see the baby’s head.”

Jungkook stops to peer at what the doctor’s seeing. He sucks in his lips. He wants to say something but stops himself.

“Come on–keep going. Keep pushing. Her head is almost out.”

You groan loudly and grip your legs as you push with all your might. And finally, there’s some relief in the tension that was building.

“You did it, mom. The head is out.”

Jungkook looks again. “Oh–this is so weird.” He tilts his head. He’s in awe and bemused by everything pregnancy and labor-related.

“Kook–you’re not helping!”

He clears his throat. “I mean, baby–she’s so beautiful.”

“What does she look like?” you ask, resting quickly against the pillow.

“Really red,” he says, “but she has cute, chubby cheeks.”

“She does?”

He nods and looks back at you.

“Alright, mama. The hardest part is getting the shoulders out, but the rest is a breeze once it's out. You got this.”

You sit up again, holding onto your legs. The doctor rechecks the monitor to assess when the next contraction is coming.

“Let’s have this baby,” she says.

Jungkook lets go of your leg to kiss your cheek and reassure you. “I love you.”

You nod, gripping your legs back further into your chest. And when the doctor says, ‘push,’ you hold back a wail, pushing with everything you have.

The doctor encourages you to keep pushing and says how close she is to almost being out. It seems like the longest few minutes of your life, but when you finally hear the small cry of your baby girl, it’s like you find the missing piece of the puzzle, and it fits perfectly into the big picture.

“Do you want to cut the cord?” The doctor asks Jungkook. He nods in response and takes the scissors, cutting the umbilical cord.

Your baby girl is taken by a few nurses to get cleaned up, and Jungkook turns his attention to you.

“I knew you could do it, baby.” He kisses you before attending to a request of one of the nurses.

Honestly, everything was a blur. From the time you began feeling contractions in the middle of the night until now. It didn’t seem real. It’s almost like a dream. But alas, Jungkook places your baby girl into your arms, and all's right with the world.

Her little hands. Her little nose. Those chubby cheeks. Her pouty little lips. She’s perfect.

Everything you could’ve asked for and more.

“Meet Jeon Iseul,” Jungkook says to his mom.

His mom coos at her granddaughter. “Oh, my goodness. Look at how precious she is. I must be the luckiest grandma in the world.”

Jungkook passes Iseul to his mom and cradles her as she walks to your bedside. She leans over. “Psst–I brought some sushi for you.” You smile and hold in a giggle. “But first, seaweed soup, then sushi.”

You nod in agreement.

Your mother-in-law sits in a chair nearby, gazing at her granddaughter. Jungkook sits on the bed as you two watch them.

“Pinch me,” Jungkook says.

And you never miss an opportunity to pinch his nipple. He flinches, muttering an ‘ow.’

“You said to pinch you.”

“Yeah, but not there,” he leans closer, “and not in front of my mom.”

You giggle. “Sorry, I can’t help it. You were asking for it.” You scoot closer to Jungkook, wrapping your arm around him, and he reciprocates. “It feels like it took forever to get here, hmm?”

He hums. “Yeah, but it was worth it, right?” He leans in, kissing your forehead. “And goddamn, baby—”

You perk up in confusion.

“I have so much respect for you.”

“What? Why?”

“You pushed out a 7-pound baby and still look so good after it.”

“Shut up. I look and feel gross. I desperately need to shower.”

“No–this is the look of a woman who can do anything. I’d never want to mess with you,” he teases.

“Well, I couldn’t have done it without you.”

“We’re in this together, right?”

“Forever and ever,” you say.

Throughout the day, you and your little family had visits from friends. Indie and Hani met their newest little best friend and were obsessed with her, wanting to give her hugs and kisses and pretend to play.

After Mama Jeon made sure you drank your seaweed soup, Jungkook said he’d walk her out and made sure she got to her taxi.

There was a moment of stillness. One you didn’t get to have yet with Iseul. You held her in your arms, scanning over her little features again like you had been doing all day. Her little face was crinkling, forming a frown and then a smile. She squirmed as you lightly stroked her cheek.

As you continued to fawn over your little one, you couldn’t help but think about how much you loved her already. You didn’t even know her personality or what kind of person she’d become, but in your heart, you knew that wouldn’t stop you from wanting to give her the world. Give her everything you didn’t have. Protect her at all costs. Shield her as best as possible and give her the resources, love, and advice to grow up to be anything she wants. You’d do anything for her.

A knock on the door breaks you out of your daze. You look up to see the most unexpected person. Someone you hadn’t seen in a few years. Your mother.

She stands at the door, waiting for you to tell her it’s okay to come in, but you don’t say anything. You’re stunned she’s even here. You cradle Iseul closer to you, wanting to protect her with every ounce of your body.

Your mom clears her throat and holds up a bag. “I, um–I brought you some seaweed soup.”

Now, you’re wondering how she even knew. Maybe Jungkook’s mom was still in contact? You know for sure it wasn’t Jungkook.

You’re silent, unable to form any words. What does she even want from you? To be involved with you and your daughter’s life? And now, of all times?

She walks in, setting the bag of food down on a table. She doesn’t come any closer. You can see her eyeing you, then Iseul.

And again, your first instinct is to protect Iseul from any harm.

“I wanted to come here and apologize.” She looks down at her folded hands, then back at you. “I’ll admit that I wasn’t a good mother nor a nice person to you or your father, and I’m not expecting you to let me into your life or your baby’s–”

“That’s not happening–” you stress, cutting her off.

She purses her lips and nods. “Understood.”

“Anything else?”

She shakes her head no. “I wish you, Jungkook, and the baby all the best.”

Your mother leaves quickly without saying anything else. You feel like an absolute ass, but you need to set boundaries for her and yourself. She made her choice not to be in your life. She doesn’t get to choose when she can come and go as she pleases. That’s not how it works.

Iseul begins to stir. You rock and shush her while in your arms. Tears are welling up, threatening to fall.

“Well, you’re not crying alone if your baby is crying too.”

You look up to see Min Yoongi. You wipe away the tears pooling in the corner and sniffle as he approaches you.

Clearing your throat, you ask, “What are you doing here? Aren’t you in the middle of filming?”

He sets a gift bag in an empty chair before returning his attention to you. “I came to visit my girlfriend, then heard from Taehyung and Hyunie that you had your baby.”

You give him a look. “Girlfriend?”

He smiles, scratching his temple. “Yeah–Minji, your friend. We hit it off at your engagement party.”

You suppress your grin. “Well, thank you for stopping by to say hi to us. I’m glad you didn’t forget about me.”

Yoongi laughs and shakes his head. “I don’t think I could forget you.”

You scan him from head to toe. He carries himself differently. It was weird to see him happy, but you were glad he found someone who made him radiate golden rays of sunshine instead of his Grumpy Grandpa persona.

“Hey baby–sorry, I got caught up with my mom,” Jungkook says as he enters the room. “Oh–hey, Yoongi.”

Yoongi flashes a thin smile and a slight nod. “Well, that’s my cue.”

“No, no, stay,” Jungkook argues.

“I would, but I have to head out. Congratulations. She’s beautiful,” Yoongi remarks, patting Jungkook on the back before closing the door behind him.

Jungkook sits beside you and Iseul. “Did I miss a lot? I wasn’t gone for that long.”

You chuckle lightly. “You missed my mom too.”

His eyes widen and his mouth is wide open in astonishment. “I–are you okay?”

You shrug. “Yeah–better now that you’re here.”

“She didn’t say anything, did she?”

“We won’t worry about that right now,” you say.

All you wanted to focus on was you, Jungkook, Iseul, and the new chapter you’d all encounter together. You understood that parenthood and motherhood would bring new challenges and new fears, but as long as you and Jungkook fiercely loved one another and continued to fight for each other and protect Iseul, that was enough for you.

Your first morning at home as a family. The sun scantily peeking through the curtains, and the light whistling of snores from Jungkook. And, of course, Iseul, the newest addition, sleeping next to you in a bassinet. Bam is always close by, always on guard, ready to protect all of you, especially Iseul.

You were on your side, gazing at the man you loved.

“You’re staring,” he mumbles, his eyes still closed.

“I’m fondly gazing.”

“It’s creepy,” he teases, peeking an eye open.

“I can leave,” you threaten, shifting out from under the covers, but Jungkook pulls you back against his chest.

"Nuh-uh, you're stuck with me, remember?" He kisses your shoulder.

You turn to lie on your back, staring at the ceiling.

"Everything okay?" Jungkook asks, entwining his hand with yours.

You hum, gazing over at him and Iseul, fast asleep. 

It's more than okay.

It's perfect.

This.

You. Him. Iseul. Bam.

Us.

TIU Celebration - podcast episode, character asks, AMA, drabbles

[blade-that-was-broken]

I genuinely dont know how you can make me go insane with literally all your fics.... like how are all of them so good?????? I literally want to bash my head open and scream into the sky so god can hear how much a love your stories

Anyways, I know you already have like a million wips and on-going fics but the Jd and "hallucination" Clay one is amazing and I need more to survive the winter (also anamnestic Jd and half-life, but again, million wips so I wont actually ask u to write more about them bcs actively upgrading all of this should be genuinely inhumane). The point is..... uhm, love your work youre a genius and I want to affectionately eat your work like a wild dog keep writing 😺👍

Not me almost busting into tears and falling flat on my face. Pffftttt that can’t be me. It has been months and several people and I just cannot for the life of me wrap my head around the fact that people really, actually, like my writing.

I know it's fanfic and the characters aren't mine (I'm really sad I can write fanfic but cannot for the life of me work out a plot for my original characters) but it blows my mind! I'm so freaking glad you like it. It makes me so happy ya'll literally have no idea. Warms this lonely friendless soul LOL (no need to bash ur head and scream, God can hear you just fine haha)

I didn't want to have a million wips but I shouldn't be surprised. The list of original characters I have... the wips are pretty on par with me in terms of numbers haha

When my brain allows, I try to write some Clay and JD stuff cause that just ajdshjsbdejw I love (when it’s not them on opposite sides, that’s not my jam) and it’s just….. hmmm yeah.

Things We Lost has amnesiac JD AND Clay xD lol it’s just a one shot but I went through a bit of an amnesia JD phase for a second there.

Divided Frame of Mind has JD and hallucinations - or rather, JD thinking he does. That’s a reunion one shot fic.

And as much as I shriek about John and Spruce in Half Life… John and Clay are just oooooofffff yes. I’m a bit scared to finish a drawing of them but one of these days I’d like to. Or some kind of drawing. Idk.

As for Something to Remember, I had something written up - just a bit - for them meeting up with Bruce but someone suggested something about Bruce and Clay finding out together so I'll probably scrap it. But I also might throw the snippets out here into the internet void, depending on how I feel.

But I love, love, love answering questions so honestly, if you have a question about anything, feel free. If I feel like it's too big of a spoiler - I'll just put warnings and under a reading break. But like for real, I'm an open book.

Thank you so much though. I am so freaking happy that you like my writing. I was friends with an aspiring author for a really long time and I never really thought of myself as much of a writer. We wrote stuff, of course, and eventually I wrote fanfic (started off in Star Wars. It was a hard hitter haha) but I never really considered myself much you know, writer-y so it's truly crazy to me seeing people like my stuff.

[a-libra-writes]

AUGH IM SO SORRY BUT BRAIN HAS THOUGHTS AND YOU, YOU KNOW LACKADAISY AND YOU ARE UNDERSTANDING OF NICOS COMMITMENT ISSUES. I found a tiktok audio and it is driving me WILD with a scenario for that horribly handsome cat ALLOW ME TO JUST-

Nico: Look, I’m never going to love you, you know?

Y/N: I know.

Nico: You kno- then why do you hang out with me all the time? Why do you spend so much time with me?

Y/N: well…because I love you! Isn’t that reason enough?

AND LIKE YEAH, no I know Nico ain’t one to be insecure about his commitment issues, he has always known exactly who he is and been proud of it! But I just, I don’t know I think if he ever found himself in that situationship with a cat who also knows who he is, and has always just been openly fine with it, able to admit that they love him without expecting anything serious from him in return and again so openly in a way that would catch him off guard. Cause like, how often do you find someone like that? Its either they get hurt about never having admittance to something serious or someone who rolls with it cause they’re looking for the same thing and then breaks off easy. I just, I just such a dynamic drives me crazy and realistically I know a romantic dynamic with Nico doesn’t really work any other way but that but I’m so thinking so hard about it and I had to get my thoughts out. Although there’s a potential I guess he might get squeamish about that kind of open admittance because it puts it in the air anyways? Even if the other person doesn’t ever expect him to admit openly or want more than what they have?

Thank you for listening to my ramblings lol

I love to listen!!! Honestly maybe an open relationship might work for him, or someone whose poly 🤔 then he'd feel much less of that ""pressure"" if that makes sense?

But yeah I really like that dynamic with Nico and an oc. Someone whose very chill and considered strange by othere bc they aren't rushing into relationships and commitments at like, age 20. I like to imagine & write someone whose comfortable not defining their relationship, at least not right away. Slow-ish-burn? Does that even count ? Haha

[openupforme]

woah!!! you wanna kiss me??? are you a lesbian or something 🤨🤨🤨🤨💞💞💋💋💋 come here then!!! (i have other lips that need to be kissed btw <3 ALSO HOW DO U DO THAT CROSS OUT TEXT THING!! wanna know so i can do it for youuu)

yeah i’m thirsty for your cum!! you caught me!! 😱😱😱🤯🤯🤯 what are u gonna do? cum arrest me???!?!?! 😭😭 that was bad lol SORRY. typing this post-orgasm so all i feel is just silly n happy n UGH I ACTUALLY WANNA CUM AGAIN. period horny is crazy. and i actually don’t even like masturbating on my period bc it’s just messy, but i just had to today!!! it’s been three days of just being horny and not touching myself 😔 your replies are soooo!!! stop writing <3 stop being talented <3 get your fingers away from that keyboard, my pussy is suffering 😣😣😣 (also, that was a totally okay and correct assessment! butch cum <3 in me <3 so true <3 let me know if i ever do something that crosses your limits as well!!)

and that orgasm was so quick!! came in like 10 ish minutes??? I WAS LIKE NO WAIT. wanted to go again but even just touching my clit was tooooo much. even tho it’s messy, masturbating on my period is ALWAYS WORTH IT!! (when i do it) just everything is so amplified AND ugh i also had to rub my nipples ofc <3 and squeeze my boobs <3 their so soft and just perfect and so squishy. i’ve also acquired a very bad like masturbating habit of just whining daddy and just like begging for daddy? like whoooo are u begging for??? (me to myself) like i’m in my room alone fr. and i look so silly, just eyes squeezed shut and mouth wide open!!! BUT I CANT HELP IT. god bless butches who like to be called daddy <3 y’all are so hot 🤭🤭🤭 speaking of limits, are you okay with anons calling you daddy??? 🫣🫣🫣 just wanted to ask even tho ik u mentioned it in that other ask reply a while ago!! if it isn’t, totally okay <3 i understand!! i also want to be respectful!!

cum inside my mouth? perfect. amazing. beautiful. i also need cum in my pussy!!! just saying! just putting it out there! this ask is so all over the place 😭😭 everyone look away. this is just for you 🫵🏾🫵🏾🫵🏾 omg buff thighs <3 bush hair <3 ahhhhhh!! no thoughts rn just 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫 just please? like literally just please. please????? also what would u be wearing????? details are important 🫣🫣🫣 thinking about the formal attire your work sometimes makes you wear!! just thinking about it!!! thinking about butches in suits 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫 in ties 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫 OHHH IN CUFF LINKS HELLO?!? WITH RINGS?!? with ummm those vests. ohhh removing their like suit jackets? BELTSS!!!!!! OH THERE IS ONE BUTCH ON HERE ALWAYS POSTING REMOVING THEIR BELT LIKE IF ITS NORMAL AND OKAY?? LIKE IM NOT LOSING MY MIND?? THEY DID IT WITH SOUND ON ONE TIMEE ohhh when they smile too ahhhh. i love when butches smile. i need to get a grip (i wanna make a joke here but i shan’t bc i am Not thirsty. i am the complete opposite of that)

ALSO YES BE RELAXED OMFG. as you should be!!! 24/7 actually!! nothing stressful should ever happen to butches fr. kissing ur big beautiful brain!! hope u have a good day 🫶🏾🫶🏾🫶🏾 and maybe YOU should drink some water!!!! i fear whatever ur drinking is filled with gayness fr. i’m not the only one who’s thirsty 😤😤 like take a look in the mirror, handsome. (i did drink water btw!! i am drinking it rn!! i am hydrated!!)

- kneeling (and very period horny) femme

I do want to kiss you kneeling femme. Gentle and sloppy. In more than one place that is, I can think of so many places on your body I could place my lips. I would paint you like a canvas. Soft kisses painting your body and delicately doing so because you’re a masterpiece. I’m a sap when I want to be. All you do is double tap and select what you want to put the line through/change color of and BOOM 🦦 Pretty girl put lines through the words.

IT WASNT BAD I ACTUALLY CHUCKLED. I will definitely cum arrest you, want to tie you up if you’re into that anyways. Either works. I really hope you have your pussy some more attention, you deserve to feel good always. The thought of you shaking while you rub circles on your clit to the thought of me? Or fuck your lip pulled between your teeth while you try your hardest to keep touching yourself? Because fuck it feels so good and you want to please me BUT you’ve become too sensitive. Fuck really hope you touched yourself again. If i’m the reason you have those giggly silly feelings then I’m HEAVILY PLEASED. Good. Girl. The keyboard will always feel the tips of my fingers. I’m good with my words and I definitely know how to use it to my advantage. I’m smiling so hard because you complemented my writing stop it ALSO I will definitely let you know, you’re sweet. I’m glad I read you right.

Only took ten minutes? Yeah you must have been really sensitive. Writhing all around and calling out for me because it felt so good. I would love to have been the one doing that for you, tweaking them, nibbling on them, and best of all running my tongue back and forth so I can get a taste of both. Is that right? Whining and begging for daddy? I’m getting hard Theres nothing wrong with that and the image that painted in my head, and it’s not silly at all. It’s fucking delicious and I want to know more. AND I am completely okay with my Anon’s calling me Daddy, it’s very sweet of you to ask. So polite. Good girl. It’s my weakness and if you want to get me to give you my all say it.

It’s funny that you say your pretty pussy needs to be bred, because I was thinking of just that when I came inside my toy the other night. I know you need cum in your pussy, but you can do better than that baby. Say please and I might tell you what was on my mind. ALL OF MY ANONS KNOW BY NOW THAT I LOVE POLITE GIRLS. I love when you all say please. Be a good girl for me. I love that your asks are rambunctious, you keep me on my toes. Every time you send one in I find myself grinning and laughing at least once each time, and fuck does my cock stand for you. Your words? Your neediness? I revel in it. That goes to all of my anons.

I will definitely have to get into attire because I’m always required to dress professionally for my job. Unless it’s Friday. Gonna make a post just for you pretty, see? This is what happens when you’re a good girl, plus you’re giving me ideas. I cant wait to tell you all about it, it’s going to be good. STRAP YOURSELF IN (get it) 💺 And also I haven’t forgotten about that audio. It needs to be perfect and I even whipped out the big boy microphone for it. THAT BUTCH SOUNDS SO HOT, I LOVE THAT. I don’t blame you honestly.

It’s okay to be thirsty, but I’ll let you believe you don’t need that thirst quenched.

My nerdy butch brain tingled, it thanks you for the kiss. My day yesterday was hectic but good WHICH IS WHY OPENUPFORME WAS AWAY BUTTTTTT. I will always try my hardest to respond timely, just be patient with me yeah? Thank you pretty. AHAH YOU ADMIT IT, you are thirsty. I’m always thirsty and I’m not afraid to admit it. I’m a munch and woman lover through hand through. I can prove just how thirsty I am if you let me put my tongue in your pussy. I promise to slurp it all up, and you’ll be able to hear it all. Want you to know how refreshing it is. BUTTTTTTTTTTTTTT I’m proud of you for having water, good girl. Keep it up yeah? Have a good day today. You deserve sunshine and positivity.

- 𝐘𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐅𝐚𝐯𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐞 𝐃𝐨𝐦 🦭

[crybabyddl]

Voltron Rewatch: Season 6 Summary & Reflection

Just finished season 6 of voltron (rewatch) and damn I honestly forgot how good that season was. I didn’t like the overall direction the storyline went in season 6, but the episodes individually were amazing. And episode 5 is just breathtaking, no doubt about it. I cried at the end of it. I also cried at the end of episode 7, when Lance started crying bc of Shiro.

I honestly think I had blocked out as much as possible from season 4 and beyond. I’m also glad I started rewatching bc I finally understand the whole thing with Shiro. I think I was so caught up in my fascination with the show and the characters the first time around, and binge watching when you don’t know what’s gonna happen obviously pushes things out so I didn’t fully retain everything and was basically watching the series on fangirl brain lol. But now, I know what happens, so I can look for details and things I may have missed.

Also, I can confidently say that I was and still am right about Lotor. It’s fuck Lotor gang for life. I never trusted that guy, not for a minute. I can appreciate his level of slay at certain times, but it cannot outshine his malevolence.

I can also confidently say that I’m forever grateful I found this show after it ended. As fun as the fandom probably was for the people who were normal about it, I am sooooo glad I don’t have to deal with the the crazy shipping discourse and drama. I don’t ship characters with each other unless it’s canon, and even still, I just kinda accept it for what it is, like I don’t fangirl over the romances between two characters. I don’t really read fanfics about character x character. I know that’s what most fanfic is, but as you can tell, I use fictional characters and stories to leave reality for a while and put myself into a place with adventure and fun.

I’m just glad I found the fandom at a time that allowed me to write my fics without having a bunch of toxic people in the comments being like “Actually Keith is gay bc I said so, stop erasing his sexuality”. I have no problem with people who ship characters, I thoroughly enjoy Klance fanart, edits, and the VERY occasional fic on AO3. I just know I would’ve been harrassed and maybe even doxxed if it was 2017 and I made a Keith x Fem!Reader fic lmao. People should really try to remember that what you think about characters and who you ship them with doesn’t make it so. It’s all fictional, and people can do and feel whatever they want.

Lance is definitely the character I feel most connected with, but I think Keith is my favorite in terms of just like, a character if that makes sense. Like Lance is my cute, “Oh my god, protect him at all costs, I want him to get everything he wants, I think he’s beautiful and he’s the loml, but I relate to him even though I’m nothing like him” character (lowkey ironic when you consider Langst makes up half of seasons 6-8), and Keith is my “Oh my god, he’s gorgeous, I would do anything for him, idk if I want to be him or be with him, but he’s so badass and cool he would probably hate me if he was real, but I love him” character.

I know I basically just said the same thing in different ways, but I think my peers understand. It’s like the difference between a blorbo and the other word for a character that I’m currently forgetting.

ANYWAY, I’m waiting until tomorrow to start season 7 bc I’m emotionally spent after that. I knew what was going to happen, but it’s still intense. If I remember correctly, season 7 was very upsetting for me. Obviously I know most of the fandom hates pretty much anything past season 4, and I agree the show kinda goes downhill after that. But I think season 7 was more difficult to get through than season 8, (bc at that point I just wanted to finish the series after being emotionally destroyed) but I might be remembering wrong. I guess I’ll find out.

Also, is it just me, or does watching a show like Voltron make you want to be a space superhero? I get a similar feeling when watching Spider-Man, like I want to be able to join that world and be someone who helps people and gets to experience cool things. It’s lame, I know, but I’ll take the desperation to join a fictional world because I’m using fandoms and media as a form of escapism over the dread of existing solely as myself in the real world. Like if I need to read a couple of x reader fics in order to keep my head on straight, I’ll take it.

[raikkonenvettels]

Nyx, I wanna send a lot of AUs to the AU game because it sounds so fun. 😍

There are a few (not to attack you with too many) I'm really interested in your thoughts about:

[Simi version — I might send a Charlos one as well]

Coffe Shop AU

Kimi as Seb's race engineer

Trans Kimi AU

🥰❤

it’s me, hi, i’m late again 😭

v, this ask sparked soooo many ideas in my mind honestly i am SO happy you sent it to me bc your brain is >>>>>>

so, here are the aus!!! (they are so long. i was supposed to put little fun facts but i constructed lore. why can’t i be normal? 😭)

coffee shop au (fun fact: i don’t like coffee lol. also they are wlw in this bc we need more wlw simi in my opinion)

seb would be an aspiring f1 engeneer who goes to the a very renowned university in modena (italy), and on the side she is a barist to get some money for herself, while kimi would be a mechanic working for scuderia ferrati in maranello (a stationary one btw)

they meet when one day, kimi accidentally stumbles in the coffee shop (or bar technically) where seb works, and when sees her for the first time as she is taking her order, she gets speachless from her beauty and kinda embarasses herself in front of her

kimi finds that amusing tho, so she indulges her and they start talking. from then on, kimi alway goes to seb’s shop in hope of finding here working there just so she can talk to her more. or, better, as seb rambles her ears off and kimi listens intently, loveing the sound of her voice

when seb finds out kimi works for ferrari she goes absolutely INSANE and she starts to ask kimi so many questions (all of which the finn answers as throughly as she can, completely infatuatueted with the passion and happiness seb radiates). she is so excited that not only the cute woman she definitely doesn’t have a crush on is not the ice cold person everyone thinks she is, but she also works for the team she has always dreamed of joining one day, too (she doesn’t fall in love a bit more after that, absolutely not). that was also the day that seb learned kimi is not actually italian, but finnish (and after that everytime she hears the finnish accent in kimi’s italian, she goes a bit more crazy)

after some time, kimi plans to actually confess to seb bc she can’t hold her feelings in any longer, not when she is the only person that could evoke them in the finn with such strongness (not even her previous boyfriends could do that). unfortunately (or not really), seb had also started to think about confessing to her when her daydreams were starting to actually affect her studies (and when her friends were starting to tease her way too much, the bastards). so one day she shows up to the ferrari headquarters, waiting for kimi to finish and when the mechanic does arrive she is awestruck to find seb there after a shitty day, almost as if the universe had made her wishes come true. it’s when seb blurts out her confession, eyes glassy and ready to be rejected, that kimi truly starts to think she is in heaven. (she really isn’t. she hugs and kisses seb so much after that she starts to feel her lips go numb. they go on a date after that, to kimi’s house, and it is magical)

kimi as seb’s race engineer (the infatuation vibes are through the roof rn)

kimi was always curious about seb, since he was a rookie in toro rosso, and secretly always hoped he would step up to redbull

and he does!!! they meet each other in redbull, seb’s enthusiasm immediately telling kimi that he was different, and he was glad that the new driver would be with him. they hit it off instantly, and the chemistry between them could be very well perceived through the radio (and the fans loved it!!!)

when they got together (after way too much pining) and they announced it to the team, many bet money were exchanged (and seb and kimi were HORRIFIED bc ‘how did they know???’ while they were being the obnoxiously obvious couple ever)

when seb wins the championship for the first time, kimi has to contain his excitement over the radio (bc iceman and all), but when seb comes to the garage after he is literally the first one to tackle him into the tightest hug ever (which is actually when they both start to realize that maybe they like each other more than it would be convenient between a driver and his engineer)

secretly seb had always been worried about when he would go to another team bc he didn’t know if their relationship would have survived being in two different teams. luckily, when he said he was going to ferrari, kimi instantly offered to follow him (and consequently change his whole life for him), and THAT is when seb realized that yes, he was going to marry this man

trans kimi au (first time that i write about trans kimi so yay for that :D)

it was from a very young age that kimi understood that he was not like the other kids, who seemed to be mistaking him for a girl when he was not one. some years later he would realized that he was trans and everything made more sense

he could go into F1 thanks to the fact that he had his documents remade just in time to show that he was in fact a man. for the first almost year of his career he would probably still race with a binder (terrible idea, but he had no other choice) until he had enough money to get top surgery done in a very high end clinic (he was going to g in mclaren anyway, he would have all the money in the world by then)

still, he does like to show neither his body nor his chest off bc insecurity. the one who made him feel better about them is seb, who makes sure to say he loves all of kimi all the time (just in case he forgets, you know?)

he met seb like he did irl too, and i think that seb would be one of the only people he would truly feel safe with in the sport (bc he knows seb is not the type to judge people, so why should he be scared?), and he would be the only driver he’d feel safe to come out to himself (and he was right bc seb, although a bit confused at first, supports him and is willing to learn everything he needs to. kimi finds his enthusiasm very endearing, and maybe he falls in love just a little bit more with the embodiment of sunshine)

i think it could be seb that made the first move here bc kimi put the option of actually being with seb out the window bc he thinks seb deserves better. but he also notices seb’s flirting and at first he think the german is joking, but he isn’t and he finally realizes that when seb asks him out in a spark of boldness after he won a race. ofc kimi says yes and they start dating!!!

omg the coffee shop au has kind of entred my heart now bc it’s so cute 😭

anyways, hope you liked this!!! also the charlos one is in the works too but i have a surprise planned for tomorrow so stay tuned for that 👀

thank you again for the asks 🖤

[ovaruling]

negative self talk incoming for whoever needs that idek

regular daily update that i regret having my like 99999 cosmetic surgeries so much and i dont even want to put the exhaustive energy into accepting my face and body atp anymore bc they remain utter strangers who i hate

and despite all of the feminist theory i have read and comprehended and applied to the way i see the world i STILL cannot rid myself of this very specific form of self-hatred and im not even being defeatist when i say i truly know that i will never be at peace bc of the choices i have made. like how can i ever be ok with this. i’d have to be lobotomized to be cool with this

and even besides that the chronic physical pain and damage to my actual nervous system won’t allow me a moment of forgetfulness. like on an amazing day where i’m full of caffeine or xanax i can MAYBE forget what i look like for an hour but it’s impossible to forget that i literally cant physically feel my entire torso and abdomen and buttocks and my upper back and my inner thighs and upper arms and underarms and my jaw and cheeks

but also at the same time i can feel incredible levels of stabbing numb shocks of pain in all of them lmfao.

exercising helps for a bit and reminds me that i can at least move my body around but i always gotta come back to reality where i have to confront that i’m genuinely permanently ill and legitimately brain damaged. like neurologically

and bc of that i went from being a normal adult 10 years ago to now i cant hold a job, cant go back and attend school, cant drive a car anymore, need IV treatments weekly, no independence, no ability to even volunteer for longer than an hour at local animal shelters before i start having problems bc i cant explain to anyone why i need to lie down every 2 hours or else i legitimately go numb and pass out no matter how little exertion im doing, no future where i can help the world the way i want to. i cant even read 2 chapters of a fucking favorite book that i LOVE without getting dizzy for no fuckjng reason. i have to REST from reading a fucking BOOK

and doctors are just like “oh well that’s what happens when you fucking almost die two times from elective surgery lol kinda your fault tbh. you really should’ve just accepted how viciously hated by men your body was. but the human body is so mysterious huh!!! like this is crazy dude lmao. 🤪 so yeah here’s a pamphlet for a support group that doesn’t really fit your needs and some medication that won’t work bc we still don’t really know how to diagnose or treat plastic surgery victims like this bc technically you weren’t in a car crash or anything so we don’t really have enough research rn to fully apprehend what’s going on w your mysterious ass. also you had more surgeries than most ppl ever will be stupid enough to undertake so like we have no idea what to do w you lol!!!!!! there isn’t really data that fits your situation but maybe in 30 years 😌”

just in case anyone was wondering if i changed my mind on cosmetic surgery being true evil!!!!!! lol

ok sorry for the pity party i just really am feeling the weight of it all rn

[probablysimpledreams]

Omg hello Cam nation life has been wild but I wanna be on here more LOL I have two fics in the works rn (one Cora<3 and one Asahi <3 I have really been on my large and scary looking but actually loser sweetheart man kick lately <333) so hopefully spring break brings me creative energy or refreshes me so post-spring break me gets a creative streak

more to come regarding that

ANYWAYS

I started this post off half an edible last night and now am having a margarita at the airport since my flight got delayed💀 and since life has been crazy so the self ship brain rot has been INSANE lately esp bc me and one of my besties rewatched a bunch of HQ!! lately so I've been thinking about Asahi and am about to share all these ideas<3 I'm putting in undercut feel free to interact or share any of your self ships

We def met in class like some elective literature course. Our majors are so different with me being in anthropology and him in fashion school we both would pick some random historical literature class just to do something different and get out of our own departments. It would take at least half the semester for us to star talking though. I am notorious for a little classroom crush so I fell in love on sight, constantly talked about him to my friends, constantly had my friends asking if I had talked to him yet, stalked his Instagram to learn about him, etc. And though Asahi has a better grip on his anxiety when in college, he's still prone to anxious habits and after how people saw him in high school as "scary" he is not one to put himself out there. So he ends up having a lil classroom crush on me as the days go by and as I speak out more in class. I love a good chance to talk which I think he'd admire and it would make him fall for me. Half way through the semester I would finally make the move by asking him to be my partner on the newest assignment for the class. We'd both just be standing there like "holy fuck this hot person is talking to me" but not realize that the other is thinking it too LMAO. But you know as time went on and we got closer (being project partners meant the BEST reason to get his number see I be PLANNING) and I finally worked up the courage to ask him on a date and he said yes<33

Once finally in a relationship I feel like we'd have to opposite of a honeymoon phase. The first few months would be very awkward and we both overthink to the max so we'd be very scared of upsetting the other. After some time thought we'd finally have a nerve wracking yet honest conversation to actually establish boundaries, what we need, etc and like never have a relationship problem again. And that's when we both realize how much words of affirmations are both our love languages so we get comfortable being sappy<33 like we’re SO that couple saying cutesy shit 24/7 and leaving lil notes for each other on the mirror or in each other’s backpacks etc!! And we’re both not really PDA people so it balances perfectly😝

We have the same music taste for SURE like we both love some indie, mountain music I’m talking Briston Maroney, Noah Kahan, Backseat Lovers, etc we are both men with anxiety so this genre speaks to us🙏 However, Asahi does not understand the Lana hype but still supports me LOL sometimes I just have to cosplay a woman in a toxic relationship on the west coast (all things I’m just not💀) and he’s learned to let me have my fun after some reassurance that I just like the music and don’t actually think of him as bad (he’s too precious pls)

We are SO interested in each other’s line of work like I’m always excited over his sketches and pieces he’s making!!! And I’m always asking him a million questions about the process and all he does!! And on the same coin he’s always so fascinated with my research my main focus is on Pacific Archaeology so I always give him TedTalks™️ on everything he loves it!! I also intern at a museum so he’s always asking me questions about it. And a lot of what I’ve been lately at the museum is fashion history, so I love to tell him all about it!!

We compliment each other perfectly bc I’m very bubbly and outgoing!! So I’m very much a conversationalist and sometimes people think bc of that and my size that they can walk all over me. This is where Asahi’s natural intimation comes into play once mfs see him they KNOW not to fuck around. And on the other side, due to my extroverted nature I can easily jump into a conversation Asahi is actively trying to step away from without being rude. I feel like he gets quickly drained from strangers but I can talk to anyone for hours so I step him. This also is helpful bc I easily can make reservations and really any other scenario where he’s feeling too shy to directly say what he’s thinking/needs. I also am not afraid to fight for refunds and shit so he’s happy to let me take the wheel LOL

I just know we’d both get along with one another friends SO well😝 on that note Suga and I are so stoner buddies (you can’t tell me college suga didn’t smoke). Asahi would rarely smoke but when he does he just goes lol nonverbal and gets cuddly. Which honestly works good bc I just get happy and yap once again that perfect balance💗‼️

Most of our dates are just chill dates. We watch a LOT of TV together between anime and cooking shows and documentaries we just love a good lay in bed watching TV time. When we go out, it’s to museums and cafes!! We try and go to a cutey local coffee shop at least once a week just to get out. Sometimes it turns into homework dates or reading dates but mostly we just sit and talk and enjoy the fact there’s no rush. I currently have a coffee sticker book so he makes sure I always get a sticker when at new places🥺 I always switch up what I get but Asahi always gets a cappuccino and we usually split a lil pastry (usually I can talk him into buying multiple to try tho hehe)

I keep him updated on all the stupid TikTok drama bc I get disgustedly invested and that app can make me so mad so I go on RANTS about people being stupid it just always makes him laugh he thinks I’m just the most lovely thing all fired up even if it’s over something so unreal. I’m also OBSESSED with that Bistro Huddy tiktok series that is literally just one guy idk it’s SO good I make him watch it with me all the time LOL

Overall we are in love love🥰😝🥰

[catnippackets]

How to come up with tunes basically. Like how to make music that sounds good. How to put different sounds/instruments together in a way that is enjoyable. All I have to work with is GarageBand but I feel like everything I’ve tried to make just sounds like… disorganized? Idk it never sounds like it flows well. I try to do it like the songs I’ve enjoyed do it, where it starts with one sound/instrument/beat and then more sounds are added one at a time until the additional complexity makes it sound better and better - like what you did in Help Like You. How do I do that is what I’m trying to ask, I don’t know if I’ve articulated that properly. How do you put different sounds together in a way that doesn’t sound like a mess?

this still feels very vague to me so I'm just gonna try to explain what I do and hopefully that's of at least some use to you lol I'm not good at all with explaining my process behind any art that I do so I honestly don't think you're gonna get much out of this but I'll try anyway (I also cannot read or write music so idk if that will make my advice better or worse lol)

music does not come naturally to me, at least making songs never feels very natural. usually in the past when I've made music it's felt like I would just wake up one day and my brain would know that something had to come out today and then I'd write the song and then I wouldn't be able to do it again for another like 8 months. it's a little easier to do it now though. when the melody doesn't just come to me like that I usually either fiddle around w a keyboard (I'm sure there's one in garageband if that's what you're using) and hit some notes that sound nice together and then just kind of go from there. OR what happens a lot is I'll be in bed right on the verge of falling asleep and I'll get a little tune in my head that comes from nowhere and then I have to quickly roll over and hum it into my phone before I forget it and then when I wake up I do something with it lol. usually I come up w the melody for the chorus and then for the verses you just sort of build off the chorus to do something that fits with it?? idk how else to explain it

another thing that works in my favour in this regard is I'm really bad at mimicking other people's styles (both visual art and music sounds), so if I'm listening to a song and hear like a drum beat that I really dig I can think "hm I wanna make a song with that drum beat" and then when I recreate it, it really sounds nothing like the drum beat I was trying to mimic, but it still sounds nice and then I have a nice new song that you can't tell was inspired by something else at all bc I can't copy things lol

I would say if you're having trouble, do a bunch of covers of songs you like first instead of starting with your own music. make a playlist of songs you really like and study them, see how the different sounds work with each other, and then try to recreate them, so you can see how many layers go into a song and what makes other people's songs work. you can start small, with the bass/harmony and then singing along with it, like someone who just plays the guitar or piano and sings, and then progress to adding more instruments. adding harmonies will make the melody stronger. adding a bass line (no specific instrument but it will probably be very low) will sort of support the melody and give it a little more depth without distracting from it. the beat will indicate the speed of the song (generally the beat is what you dance to, instead of the melody). you don't need all of them to make a good song, it can be as simple or complicated as you like, but there's plenty of songs out there that only use like one instrument and still sound lovely so you don't have to get too crazy, especially not at first

also I've never used garageband cuz I don't use apple products but before I bought fl studio I used bandlab, which is free for anybody to use and super easy, they have a wide range of instruments and you can also add premade loops too! just in case anyone else is reading this who can't use garageband, the layout looks very similar to it (the only annoying thing is you only get 16 layers which sounds like a lot at first but truly is not lol)

good luck!!

[lesbianvillain]

about to get real at 6 am besties

basically tw for emotional abuse, parental abuse, mommy issues, the whole thing

Putting this under a read more lol

I literally can’t believe I grew up thinking I was some monster because I DARED expressed my feelings and boundaries as a kid. She would corner me and call me a monster and then scream that I was manipulating her and abusing her bc I wasn’t someone who just let myself become a punching bag

I get so mad thinking about her kind and fun persona she’s always put on for other people and then when it’s just me she lashes out. Berates me. I remember I would be short with her as a teen bc I was being abused! And my friends would always be like why are you so mean to your mom? She’s so nice? And it would suck. No one ever believed me.

Not my psychiatrist. Not my therapist. Not my friends. She used mental health professionals to gaslight me into thinking I was in the wrong. That I had behavioral issues.

I hate how this affected my behavior into adulthood. My need for approval. I hate that I had to work my ass off breaking that cycle of abuse.

And she still won’t acknowledge there’s something wrong with her. She never will.

Yet I can’t cut her off. I have such complex feelings for my mom because I love her. And the worst part is I know she loves me, and that she’s battling her own internal demons. But that doesn’t mean I should have to deal with her untreated issues.

I hate that I feel strong resentment for her.

Even if I wanted to cut her off I’d be essentially cutting off almost the rest of my family. She comes to all the family dinners and events. I wouldn’t get to see my niece or nephew anymore bc she is usually taking care of them.

She’s very sweet to me sometimes. It makes it hard. Because I feel like I’m going crazy.

She even puts up a fun and kind persona to dan. Thankfully dan doesn’t buy it. It feels nice to be believed by someone who has met her personally. I feel less crazy.

While I have long since broken that cycle of abuse, I still struggle with needing approval and thinking that everyone actually hates me and letting that dictate my brain and feelings. If I disappoint people or let them down I spiral. And I know I do disappoint people plenty. I feel like I’m never the person they want me to be.

I wish I was a different person sometimes. I feel like I wouldn’t let people down so much.

Idk the point of all this was. Just venting ig

[h5eavenly]

oh i’m about to talk your ear off 😭 i always feel funny sending something so detailed bc i don’t want to be annoying.

when i first found carousel, i (admittedly) scrolled by because i’m afraid of abandoned stories, but it peaked my interest every single time. once i finally started, i was in deep. i would be so excited when you’d update while i was at work, i’d tell my coworkers to stop talking to me because i needed to read immediately 😭 i gave my work bestie the full rundown and when the bet came out, she said “omg so he knows about the bet now??” like she was in there with me lol

i wish i could include screenshots of my discord messages where i am going crazy over certain lines you’ve written. i found one from when yeji came to yn’s house about the bet and i had read the last lines first bc you said it get your tissues (and i have anxiety lmfao) and i said “THE BOMB HAS EXPLODED”

actually i’m going to include the screenshot following the moon and sun analogy.

because when i tell you i think about it EVERYDAY. on the fourteenth it was another written part and i once again quoted your sun and moon (is it obvious i love them very much⁉️) and i said even if i don’t directly relate to what’s going on between hyunyn, it feels like i’m reading about myself sometimes. i see myself in the cracks of hyunjin, in the despair of yn. to long for someone so deeply and have ruined it yourself. i proceeded to tell my friend how heart breaking that part felt for me and he asked if he should leave me alone. and i said not if you don’t mind broken company. if that doesn’t feel like hyunyn, idk what does.

baby i have even told my mom how much i love this story 😭 i am down horrendous for you and your writing. if i could kiss every part of your brain and heal you from anything that pains you, i would‼️

oh pls do theres nothing i love more than ppl talking my ear off trust me im a good listener :D

omg stop i love that you were literally reading during work and the fact that you got ppl who dont even know it exists invested? omg thats so funny and wholesome fsjdpa

pleasee the ss :(( i wouldnt put you through hell only to give you a sad ending im a little bit of a sadist but not quite evil yet and omg i remember you telling me a few times about how you relate to some lines or some thoughts yn has about herself and although a lot of them are painful and sad i believe theres certain comfort in feeling you're seen and in your pain being understood so thats amazing. Reading this made me so giddy im smiling so fucking big rn and the fact that your mom knows carousel?? THATS CRAZY :(( if i could heal anything that pains you as well believe me i would <3

[thekidsarentalright]

HELLO I SURVIVED!! my voice is extremely fucked up from screaming and my legs hurt but i’m alive!! i feel like there’s so much stuff i need to ramble abt so i’m just gonna write a fuckin essay here lmao i’m so sorry 😭

ok so the stage looked SO cool in person. the backdrops were gorgeous <3 and everything was like a physical prop, not projections… including the giant replica of bubbles the dog <3 pete kept pretending to put his hand in its mouth and patrick was singing to it! and the pyro was insane, i could feel the heat from it and i was Not super close to the stage. they Also had a clock on the side of the stage that would go backwards every so often… like going back in time to play older songs 😭

UM?!?! THAT SETLIST?!?!?! ginasfs was NOT a possibility in my head at all, so that was absolutely insane, my god!!! everyone was like “???” after pete said they’d never played it live. and then it started and my brain literally blacked out. like my only thought was “there’s no way this is happening, what the FUCK”. that song is so important to me and honestly was one of the first ones i remember loving when i got into fob, so that was a whole moment!! if there’s a different song every time that’s so scary, i SO hope u get the song u want if that’s the case! <333

“don’t forget who left the light on 20 years ago” had me tearing up and then all the tttyg stuff… fob wants us all dead fr! and THEN HEAVEN IOWA?! AND HEADFIRST SLIDE?!?!?! i was HOLLERING the whole time, my throat still hurts 💀 and FAKE OUT OMG WHERE DO I EVEN START 😭 the pink lights worked and it looked so pretty!!! it took some ppl a minute to get theirs set up, so the stadium kinda gradually lit up more and more and by the middle of the song it was fully lit! i swear i saw the exact moment where patrick realized what was going on and he smiled so big <3 i teared up so hard (was trying not to cry bc i had glitter on my face lol… i kinda cried anyway) and then pete gave us a shoutout! i’m def keeping my seashell on like… my wall or smth <3

also the covers!! that first song patrick did at the piano is lake shore drive, it’s actually what he was playing in that tiktok of him in the studio back in like… february! (it’s the piano thing right after the clip of him playing trumpet) my mom recognized it when i was watching that video originally and asked why he was playing it, so i already knew the song… was Not expecting it live tho 🤯 and then don’t stop believing?!?! we were all v confused but excited lmao… and then crazy train a bit later 😅

and pete did baby annihilation!! honestly when i said he could do it and i’d cheer, i did NOT expect him to actually do it lmaoo… but he did and it was fantastic!! hold me like a grudge was also incredibly fun, it goes so hard live <3 shoutout to the ppl who were doing the clapping during the bridge w me lol

every time patrick started talking he’d go “hi” in this soft voice and i was just like “HIIIII 🥺” AND HE WORE DOC MARTENS!!! AAAA 💓 he was so sunshiny and just skipping around like usual <3

OH ALSO!! idk what the other venues on this tour are like, but wrigley has this thing above the stage where they have a couple different flags, and all except one of them were changed out to be the smiley face logo!! it reminded me of when they planted their flag in the lftos music video and i got emotional looking at it 😭 like. they did it!! and it’s so obvious they’re excited to be doing all this!! ur gonna have an absolute blast at your show for Sure!

(the openers were fucking amazing too, i totally didn’t process that tai was playing until literally right before they came onstage. and then they covered snakes on a plane and were like “iykyk” and i very nearly died lmao)

(alsooooo congrats on finishing ur first year of college!! happy stardust summer! mwah 💕)

- 🧋 anon

SOOO sorry to be answering this a couple days later tumblr never showed me i got it!!!!! ANYWAYS

ohhhhh my god it sounds like it was such a fantastic like. incredibly special concert, i'm so happy for u!!! the setlist and the set itself literally blew my mind as i was watching a livestream of the show like????? my god they really pulled out ALLL the stops while also keeping the classics on there, really a setlist to please Everyone i think?? also w the set like. all the animatronic stuff and different backgrounds and everything. patrick was Not kidding when he said this show was visually different than anything they'd ever done before i am. SOOOO impressed. actually both by that and the stardust project, i remember something similar happened for mania tour and it was really pretty (kept my cutouts and still have them!!!) so im VERY glad it's happening this time for fake out <333 they deserve to see all of our love in every way possible <333

SO interesting that that's what he was playing on that tiktok omg he was practicing for so longggggg.... insane that ur show got a special lil piano mashup and then last night he did what a time to be alive.... so curious to see if its wattba forever now or if that's gonna be different each night Too!!!

and YEAHHH baby annihilation being on the setlist is making me soooo ;__; every time i think abt it im sooooo proud of pete for like. being confident enough to do That in front of thousands of people. also made me so happy to see patrick skipping around stage in his slay lil outfit like all four of them were SOOO happy u could tell i just. god i love them, they DID it they had their lil flag planted and played such a good show. last nights show was no doubt so good and special too from every video i've seen i just. i Know this tour is gonna be the tour of a lifetime, im SOOO excited for my show and also so glad urs was such a wonderful time and experience like u got so many special lil things!!! ginasfs and snakes on a plane etc!!!!!!!!! loved hearing all of this <33333