#idk I always have big feelings for important people in my life who for whatever reason I either can’t be with or they don’t like me back and | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

astrologydayz · 1 year ago

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ASTROLOGY FUCKING NOTES2🖤💀

Nobody really knows a person with a 12th House Sun🤔🤔. They hide themselves really well, & project themselves as someone they're truly not. They don't do it on purpose, they're just so fucking private. My brother actually has this placement, and we're practically twins, but I still feel like I don't know him, AT ALL. They hide themselves, because they're afraid that their true selves won't be "enough"/won't be "liked". BUT OFC IT WILL, & IF NOT, THEN FUCK THEM, BABE.

MOON CONJUNCT/SQUARE SATURN people can hate being alone 4 the first two decades of their lives, but later learn 2 be their own best friend, & love it. They "mother themselves 2 life/back2life". They learned the hard way, that everything is better when u don't put your faith in just anybody. They also learned not 2 trust from a young age, because of their mother/father or both parents💀💔.

I've seen people say "that u can choose not to access that specific energy in your chart, if you don't want 2"🤣. Like u can choose 2 get a million dollars tmrw?, IF YOU WANT 2?🤣 come on. Natal charts are a tool 2 c who u are, why you developed that way/what “happens in your life”, and why you're here with the help of astrology. No matter the aspect, it will be present at some point. A chart never lies🔮🤷‍♀️.

MOON SQUARE/QUINCUNX VENUS IN A MAN'S NATAL CHART tells us that he finds it hard 2 understand women. He has "problems" when it comes 2 feminine energies, &with the women he's surrounding himself with🤔. He can have a hate/love relationship 2/with women💋.

VENUS CONJUNCT/TRINE/QUINTILE MONY ASTEROID - 7782) IN SYNASTRY, will cause the asteroid person 2 provide the Venus person with a lot of material gifts👠🛍💄.

IDK why anybody would say that your MC has NOTHING to do with how u look/how people see u! Lol okay. My mentor must have been on drugs when she was taught everything + in all those 43 years she's been in practice then. gtfo. Let me give u an example. 👇🏼

I’ll just tell you everything I see with this aspect.

Kim K = Venus in Virgo in 9th house at 19 degrees - Libra degree) conjunct her MC in Virgo at 28 degrees - cancer degree). She's famous 4 her beautiful looks/people finding her beautiful. she always does things to look "YOUNGER, cosmetic procedures etc. 2 take years off! Growing a big following worldwide of young people looking up 2 her/her being idolized by them. Famous 4 being beautiful/4modelling/fashion/cosmetics - being in Venusian businesses/4 who she dates. she also takes after her MOM, with her looks!!! I know her mom was/is also her manager, & I would include this here, cuz u can actually see that, but I would have to go into details again. Idk if u would find that boring?? as I already wrote a lot. Thanks for making it this far😂.

ASTEROID MEMORIA (1247) IN SYNASTRY can tell u why u feel like you’ve met the other person before, or what memories that r the most "memorable" with the other person🧡🪐🔮.

ASTEROID FANATICA - 1589) IN SYNASTRY tells u what really fascinates u about the other person/what u can become obsessed with, when it comes 2 the other person❕

IF U HAVE A SYNASTRY ASPECT/OR ASPECTS with someone, and u also have it in your natal chart = a very important person you're dealing with! They'll teach u whatever the aspect is/aspects are! And they're meant 2 be the one who teaches it 2u/ or meant 2 be the one who makes that aspect exist in your life. (good or bad).

VENUS OPPOSITE VERTEX/CONJUNCT ANTI-VERTEX IN SYNASTRY is co cute🥹, Vertex let Venus in2 their "private world". Venus is usually not the type Vertex person goes 4, but they’re mesmerised anyway!! “There’s just something unreal about Venus”.

KARMA ASTEROID - 3811) can tell you about your karma! Old karma/Karma you're creating etc. U can use it in in any chart u want2, natal charts, synastry charts, composite charts, Davidson Charts, solar return charts, lunar return charts, progressed charts, ANY CHART U WANT2 BABE!!🪐🤛💥🪐⛅☀🌊.

BLACK MOON LILITH SQUARE/QUINCUNX ASC in a WOMAN'S CHART can show problems with both genders. She can feel left out, not apart of "the group", when it comes to women. And with men = men always trying to run up on her/trying her boundaries, &they're provocative af. People can't handle her here. She will not conform to anyone. She can feel pretty fucking alone in the way she goes about her day to day life. feeling like nobody will ever understand the struggles she has/the pain she's going around with. The key here is acceptance of ones self. She cannot change herself for others sake, she will never be happy. She'll be happy when she chooses herself, & the right people will flock 2 her, right after. They'll See her light, &will not put who she is down, but CELEBRATE. It can also be the complete opposite. She can be a people pleaser, & has internal fights with herself, every day about this. Trying 2 fit in with groups, dating men who's crossing her boundaries, all the time. She either fights people, or she fights herself. SHE HAS 2 STAY TRUE2HERSELF! There will always be people hating on her, no matter how she moves. FUCK THEM. People who are meant 2 be in her life will CELEBRATE HER!! Not put who she is down/make her change. People who can't understand her = she needs2 get them the fuck out.

NEPTUNE CONJUNCT ASC can show a person living in their own "delulu world". They're not really "there" - can be seen as the "dumb blonde". Neptune can cloud their mind, every single day. They're "different"/they change all the time. They can't really be "real" with people. Trying 2 always be friends with everyone, not really having their own opinions, following the pack etc. They can 100% people please.

VALENTINE/AMOR/ 447) - 1221) CONJUNCT MC - They "look like love", &they also project it out. People think they're beautiful. But remember, even tho people know/c them like that = doesn't mean that they're really like that. That's just what they show off/how they're "known" in the eyes of the public/in their career/their surroundings💜.

SUN MAKING AN "EASY" ASPECT2 MOON does not mean that your parents like each other. I have this, and my parents literally can't stand each other. I've seen this more times than I can count. It's about your conscious ego&how you emotionally feel about the way u express yourself/with the way u "show your ego off" - "yin&Yang duality".

I HATE MOON SQUARE URANUS IN SYNASTRYYYYY. Uranus will pop in&out of the other person's life, as they desire2. The Moon person needs support&a feeling of being safe, &Uranus wants other things/aka not worried about the Moon person - Uranus is erratic. WHO GOT TIME4THAT?

MERCURY OPPOSITE NEPTUNE can show us a person being pretty good at lying/coming up with lies easily/Quickly. Having no problems with finding "excuses" 4 what they say/do, &can get other people in on it, 2 lie for them as well. It happens in periods tho, like on & off periods.

Asteroids I always look at first: Nemesis - 128) Amor - 1221), Valentine - 447), Alma - 390), Destiny - 6583), Moira - 638), Eros - 433), Karma - 3811), Kama - 1387), Close - 54902), Apollo - 1862), Child - 4580), Compassion - 8990), Angel - 11911), Yes - 7707), Boda - 1487), DNA - 55555), Fast - 27719), Prey - 6157), Not - 2857), Casanova - 7328), Fox - 16248), Savage - 29837), Pholus - 5145), Fanatica - 1589), Priapus - h22), Sado - 118230), Medea - 212), Nessus - 7066), Dejanira - 157), Hazard - 9305), Mentor - 3451), Lysistrata - 897), Bilk - 4425 - using the other person 4 own material gain).

THANKS4READING BEAUTIFUL❤️🍒 Appreciate u, always.

#hastro community #astro notes #birth chart #astro observations #astrology #astrology notes #asteroids #synastry #black moon lilith #venus

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spacecowboyy0 · 9 days ago

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crumbling

summary: you and peter go to the avenger's tower on a field trip and you have a breakdown, then get comforted by buck and nat! angsty then fluffy

notes: autistic!little!reader, you and peter act like siblings and i envision them in their last year of highschool, peter’s field trip is a huge trope on Ao3 idk if tumblr people are aware of that

tony stark isn’t in this because i hate him, he’ll never be in any of my fics, i don’t care!!!

1.6k words

When it was dark, you would sometimes show up at Peter’s window, and stay the night. The habit started in middle school, when things at home were too much to bear alone. After the first few times, the window remained unlocked and May told you that you were always welcome, even if no one was home. Peter knew how important it is that you could rely on him to be there during rough nights, so he felt bad when he started sleeping over at the Tower. Peter also knew how intimidating the Avengers are, but he was sure that you would get along with them. He would talk about you so much that the team kept asking when they could meet you. He knew that you would be welcome to stay over whenever, not only when you were in crisis mode.

On a regular Wednesday after school, Happy picked the two of you up from school, and drove you to the Tower. That night, despite your intense anxiety, you had a wonderful time. You played card games and ate delicious food that Bruce cooked. It ended with Natasha telling you that if you ever needed help, you could call her. This was the beginning of unconditional love and support from people who could’ve never imagined getting close to.

Out of everyone on the team (excluding Peter), you latched onto Bucky very quickly, with Natasha coming runner up. You know an autistic person when you saw one, and after one movie night with that man, you knew. Bucky became a huge father figure/big brother role in your life; you just seem to click. It’s Bucky who understands your aversion to certain foods, why you need things to be a certain way, why you can go to loud concerts but want to sob at the sound of chewing.

You can’t really explain why you’re so close to Natasha or when it started. Nat is secretly a huge softie, and you’re one of the lucky few who is shown her warm heart. She feels motherly, in a way that warms your bones and calms your mind. No one can give head scratches as well as she can, or braid your hair as perfectly.

You were sitting in Mr. Anderson’s class when the field trip to the Tower was announced. You whipped your head around, meeting eyes with Peter, who sat a few seats behind you. For you, it wasn’t that big of a deal, somewhat funny if anything, but you had a feeling that there would be some special appearances from the team during the trip. Fortunately for you, with the protection of Bucky and Natasha, you knew that whatever shenanigans were pulled during the trip, they’d be targeting Peter rather than you. Peter, judging by the grimace he sported, seemed entirely less enthused by the announcement. Shifting your eyes over to MJ’s (evil) smirk and Ned’s delighted grin, you knew those two were excited for different reasons.

When school was let out, you followed Peter to Happy’s car, and drove to the Tower together. There, you handed the permission form to Nat, who had been forging your mother’s signature for a while now. You shoved the slip into your bag and forgot about the trip for the next two weeks.

Now it’s the morning of the field trip, and you’re already tired of everything. You don’t want to talk. It’s not that you can’t talk, you just don’t have anything to say. You had such a high anxiety week, and now masking is too difficult to keep up, and you really want to feel small. You want to feel a nice fuzzy instead of the anxiety fog you have been feeling way too much of recently. Your brain is buzzing in a way that probably means that you’re very very close to crumbling. While you don’t want that to happen at the Tower in front of your classmates, you know Peter would handle it. You just hope that Bucky or Nat will be around to rescue you.

Everything was going smoothly, you made it through the loud bus ride to the Tower, survived all the beeps at security, and now you’re onto your first activity after getting a tour of R&D. In a group of four, with Peter, MJ and Ned, your group is tasked with coming up with a small robot that would fulfill the two slips of criteria you randomly selected out of a bowl. You got “rainbow” and “do a flip.” As you fold the paper of your 3d prototype (something to keep your hands busy more than anything), you nick your finger on the edge of the sheet. You rip your hands away from the model on instinct, letting it drop onto the table in front of you. There’s a pause as you stare at the tiny bit of raised skin on your thumb. There’s no blood but your eyes well up with embarrassing tears. Peter, who is sitting beside you, stops scribbling for a moment when he sees you still out of the corner of his eye.

“What’s going on?” To your hyper-sensitive mind, you’re convinced his whisper could be heard from across the room. It’s not helping. You turn to him, and you see his eyes widen when a tear slides down your face. It’s all crumbling down just like you had anticipated, and now there would be nothing stopping your dysregulated, tired mind from exposing your very not-neurotypical needs to anyone who asked.

“Hey, what are the tears for, bug?” The whimper he got in response, caught the attention of Ned and MJ. While you love them to bits, more eyes on you is not what you need. You put both of your feet on your chair so that you can shove your face into your knees, and hope that it muffles your quiet sobs. Peter pulls out his phone, he had also anticipated this breakdown, so he sends a text to put his plan into action.

With a nudge from Peter, and MJ’s arm around your shoulders, you walk towards Mr. Harrington where he’s talking to your tour guide. MJ leads you past where Peter stops to talk to your teacher, and into the hallway. Even in the hall with less people around, you’re so in your head that you’re mortified by your red face and the stimming you tried to suppress. After what feels like ages, Peter appears and replaces MJ’s grounding touch, and takes you to the nearest elevator. It’s only a short wait before you step into the elevator, and when the doors close behind you, you both let out a sigh of relief. Although yours is more of a shudder with how fast your breathing is.

The ride is fast and soon you’re stepping into Bucky and Steve’s living room, where Bucky is waiting for you. Peter watches as you run into Bucky’s awaiting arms and collapse in his embrace. You sob without restraint and bury into his neck. Peter slips back into the elevator and heads up to your room, which is next to his own. Bucky walks around the room, rocking you in his arms as you wait for Peter to come with your stim basket. Peter returns with the basket, picking out a few he thinks you might need before going down to the floor where your class is.

Now it’s just you and Buck, the sounds of crying and the noise of the city coming from the open windows. Reaching down for a moment, he picks up a squishy for your hands, and a chewy for your mouth that is gnawing on his shirt. He sits down on a couch, and creates a little bit of space between you to draw your attention to the toys. You take the squishy, but reject the chewy after a moment of contemplation. You return to your cozy spot pressed against him, but switch to chewing and sucking on your fingers. Bucky, now trapped with you on his lap and confused as to why you didn’t want the stim toy, signed to FRIDAY to get Nat’s help.

After a few minutes, the elevator doors slide open silently and Nat walks over to the pair on the couch. Buck points to the basket on the side table, and finger spells “soother.” He suspects that you would have one, considering how much he catches you almost chewing on your fingers on a daily basis. Nat finds a light blue soother in a case near the bottom, takes it out, and hands it over. Buck gently removes the thumb in your mouth and slips in the soother before you realize what he had. He can feel your muscles relax and your heart slow to a natural rate.

As you wait for Pete to return from his tour, Bucky puts on The Princess Bride, and the three of you enjoy the slow, quiet peace. You, drained from your emotional day, rests your head in Nat’s lap and your legs lie across Bucky’s lap. With your eyes closed, soothed by Nat’s fingers stroking your hair, you listen to the movie and savor the comfort of the moment.

Interrupted by the noise of footsteps, you lift your head to see Peter walking towards you. You smile softly, slip out your pacifier and greet him quietly. “Hi Petey.”

“Hi baby, how are you feeling?”

“I’m ok, mostly tired.” He stops in front of the couch, looking down at you. He reaches into his back pocket and pulls out a can of cherry Coke. “Stopppppp, thank you!” You smile and take it from his hands.

“No problem, figured you could use a treat.” He looks at your water bottle and empty bowl on the coffee table. “You don’t need anything else? You’re good with just relaxing the rest of the day?”

“Yeah, this is perfect.”

this might turn into a series??? idk! i'd love to write more, gimme some prompts!

#peter parker #bucky barnes #natasha romanoff #reader #autistic!reader #peter parker's field trip to the avenger's tower #little!reader #sfw agere #cg!bucky barnes #agere fic #little reader

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genderqueerdykes · 1 month ago

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this is prob silly but i appreciate you being so candid about not interacting with much media (like film/tv/pop culture stuff). it's kind of hard to be on tumblr or really even exist if you're not able to interact with media but it's a big trigger for me so i just... can't. like, i've never had anyone understand that it's not a choice i'm making to be special/different/lazy i just have extreme and unhealthly reactions to most media, except some books and comics. which idk if that's how it is for you (its not my business or anything) but i've never felt seen/represented about it before so im thankful, yk?

i appreciate you for sending this! i don't find it silly at all

i think it's very good for you to acknowledge that you have an unhealthy relationship with most forms of media. i'm sorry that you're going through this, but consuming media is not a requirement nor is it something that you genuinely need for your mental health, so it's okay that that's how you feel. i appreciate this because it gives me a chance to talk about something that is important to me, but people struggle to understand why that is

my parents used to make fun of whatever i was watching or playing as a kid over my shoulder. i used to get relentlessly mocked every time i put on a show i liked or played a game in front of either of them. it caused me to have severe trauma for years where i couldn't watch or play anything around other people at all. i still don't like when people ask me to put on things that i do like for a big group. the stress i feel when other people don't enjoy it is not worth it. i'm still very uncomfortable doing this to this day

i've felt pretty alienated all my life due to this. it seems like now more than ever, media, especially fictional media, is so important to general modern culture that it creates a barrier between people who do and don't engage. and it's not like it's a passive thing, i have people get offended at me when i say i haven't seen a movie or TV show. not talking about anyone on here, or any anons i've answered about media! people have been kind and respectful here. but in my real life and in conversations with other people, i have genuinely been mocked or insulted because i don't engage with most television, movies, books and comics.

i've had people question my autism over this. when i've told people in the past that i do not engage with pop culture, fictional media and so on, i've had people actually say "but i thought you were autistic????" like it's genuinely frustrating that it seems like people have shifted to thinking that autistic people's special interests are always cartoons, games and TV shows. it worries me because at times it feels like people are turning the common definition of autism into Media Consumption Disorder. my special interests are queer history & culture, animals & nature, and medicine & psychology. i genuinely enjoy research, it's something i happily do for hours because it stimulates my brain and motivates me. it excites me just as much as i think fiction excites people who can enjoy it. it's more than okay for autistic people to have a piece of media as their special interest, i'm not saying that its not! but it frightens me that people seem to conflate "autistic" with "loves fictional media".

due to my DID, i can't remember plots. like at all. plots confuse the ever loving hell out of me because i can't keep track of what's going on. real life doesn't have a plot. science doesn't have a plot. i don't know if fully understand the point of a plot, honestly. expecting people to be able to remember such an absurd amount of information in order to figure out something that happens down the road or at the very end feels like a herculean task to me. i can't remember what happened to me 10 minutes ago, there's no way i'm remembering a tiny event that happened hours and hours and hours ago. scripted interactions feel so stiff and unnatural to me

people tell me i'm saying i don't know what they're talking about to "be an asshole". i used to have a best friend who got really into dungeons&dragons and it traumatized me for years because i got into at first, then quickly lost interest once i realized how boring actually playing the game is for me. my friend did NOT take it well. he continued to force me to play. if i would ask him to please change the conversation topic he would start insulting and berating me and telling me that i was pretending to not be interested anymore to be mean to him. he couldn't understand that i grew out of it. he never got any better with this, as he was obsessed with marvel films and would get super pissed off if i told him i had no interest or didn't know what to say to him. it was frustrating because i didn't have a choice whether or not i could like something. it was "if you don't like this, you're an asshole."

and it's not just him that's treated me that way. it's been most of my friends. for whatever reason, when you tell the average person that you haven't seen, or god forbid don't like a piece of media, they take it personally for... some reason. as if i said "no i don't watch that because that's bad" as opposed to what i actually say is "i don't know what that is" or "i haven't seen that". you would not believe how insecure people get when you tell them you don't like a piece of media they like. i'm not sure why people feel like their favorite media is an extension of themselves, but it's an unhealthy relationship. it's not healthy to get offended if your friend tells you they haven't seen a piece of media that you have.

i have aphantasia, which is the inability to picture things in my head. i don't get "sucked into" media like people with clearer mind's eyes do. i don't picture anything cool or epic or fun happening in my head because i can't. as a result, i don't get pulled into shows, i don't get invested in tabletop games, i don't really get that affected by the media that i watch because i am painfully aware that i'm staring at a pre-recorded and scripted show the entire time. i'm painfully aware that i'm staring at an actor in a costume i just cannot get immersed in most forms of media save for very rare video games but even then, i immediately stop thinking about it the second i'm done interacting with it

i just don't listen to music and that one baffles people as i'm punk. most music is just straight up overstimulating to me due to my autism. i'm not saying that music is bad, it just overstimulates the everloving hell out of me. most of the time it just hurts my ears or gives me a headache or triggers my misophonia, which results in me getting irrationally pissed off. it's not something i can control. i prefer to listen to nature sounds, very simple meditation music that is a few simple tones, or nothing at all. i actually enjoy silence. i enjoy not overloading my ears. i enjoy being alone with my own thoughts. i can't think when there's too much noise happening

video games are more enjoyable than anything else due to the interactive element, but that does not mean i am paying attention to the characters or the story. it's very rare that a game can actually make me get interested in the characters themselves. i'm just there for the gameplay. generally i prefer games like rollercoaster tycoon, tower unite and other games that don't have a plot at all and are strictly focused on gameplay. i have no idea how people memorize all the different characters and interactions and story beats in games that have an overarching plot.

it's a personal choice. you're allowed to choose what your hobbies and interests are. if pop culture stresses you out, you do not have to engage. i just straight up do not get pop culture references at all and i've had people laugh at me for it but i just really don't care, it's not what i'm interested in as a person. i feel like a lot of people aren't quite realizing that most popular media is made for profit, not to be something genuinely well written or entertaining. i'm not saying those things are bad but what i am saying is that it's a product meant to be consumed in order for you to help a generally huge company profit. there's very little soul and whimsy when it comes to most AAA games and big box office films. the artistic integrity is severely lacking

anyway, thank you for giving me a chance to talk about this more at length! it's why i'm just very honest about it because i'm not going to force myself to change my interests because some people find how i approach life strange, or take it personally. you're allowed to choose what you interact with and don't. you're allowed to define your own interests and hobbies. and i think you're doing a great thing by acknowledging that you have an unhealthy relationship with pop culture. a LOT of people do right now. it's manufactured to be addicting on purpose. binge watching things is encouraged and is becoming seen as a new norm. i don't think people like you or i deserve to be mocked for approaching life in ways that make sense to us. take care of yourself, i appreciate you!

#asks #answers #about us

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grendel-menz · 7 months ago

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yo im not sure if this is a weird ask so feel free to ignore but like !! sorry i just had a moment bc ive been struggling w being half white for a long time now, like something was off my entire life with how other white people would treat me as an Other, the way they would like reduce me to an animal/the wild friend/make some weird dehumanizing comments, and despite all this not even knowing the truth of my ancestry til i was out of high school. but at the same time i felt like i could never really claim it? like i had no connection to my native side since my father wasn't allowed that so i was basically raised White and every time i looked in the mirror something told me it was wrong for me to even seek that connection. it did not help that i'd meet other half natives here who would tell me that (there is a weird culture here about rooting out "fakers" and accusing people you dont like of faking their history to get yourself more legitimacy). sorry this is all a rambly preface to say id always related to your art about ancestry and culture and finding yourself and how people treat you but felt wrong for it but then you post a picture and you're a stones throw away from me. like, we look like we could be cousins. idk i just went wow, i look like that too, its okay, i shouldnt have gatekept my connecting behind fear of... i dont even know what anymore. idk this ask has no point so from another genderweird half who hallucinates i hope u have a great week month year and i hope good things happen to you. you bring a lot of joy to people

I'm sorry you've struggled with all this, it can be really tough. My situation is a bit different since my mom never let me forget I'm Filipino. I never felt distant from being mixed, just the culture we lost due to some extraordinarily difficult circumstances in the past few generations of my moms side. I'm also lucky in that Filipinos and SEAsians as a whole tend to be very avid about welcoming mixed kids into the community (though there's a lot of racism and colorism involved in the level of acceptance someone gets, unfortunately. I'm pale and treated well, and I doubt someone darker skinned would be treated as well in certain circles.).

I can't speak for Native American communities, but I will solidly say in general that blood quantum and its enforcement is colonial. Your ancestors do not love you in halves or quarters, that would be very strange. When I have a baby I plan to love the whole thing and not just whatever dna percentage is mine. It's just important to research, support, reach out to, and represent your community to the best of your ability. (If I've misspoken here lmk.)

I have Indigenous family members, ancestry, and community, but I don't personally call myself Indigenous because I am still researching and reconnecting, and it's such a big word. There's no rush to things, go at the pace you're comfortable with when it comes to seeing yourself.

Sorry for being long winded! Hopefully that helps or yeah! :D

#asks #AGAIN PLEASE #native folk correct me if ive mistepped in this

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heartsfromia · 3 days ago

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old habits die hard — k. yudai

pairing: non-idol! k x reader

word count: 3,727

genre: fluff, somewhat childhood friends to… lovers (?), college au but at a party (that isnt hosted by jackson wang)

warnings: profanities, mentions of alcohol, idk if this should be a warning but a bit of nichojoo

author's notes: my first andteam fic! recently got into them and have been smitten ever since (o^▽^o) also these fics will be a tumblr exclusive (unlike my svt fics) so they wont be posted anywhere else (now i have to figure out how to put this on my masterlist)

You hated parties.

Such a cliché statement, but it was true.

You absolutely despised parties, and all throughout your first year of college, you made it your life’s mission to avoid attending a single one (excluding mandatory parties that were held under collegial events, because for some reason, supervisors count your absents for those things). It was easy for the first semester since everyone was just getting to know each other, hosting a party so early in the year was only done by those older than you. There was nothing more akin to modern day torture than being holed up in a poorly lit living room with over a hundred intoxicated people, loud incessant music and sweaty body odor stinking up the already small space.

You always hated sweaty people and body odor, and unfortunately, parties were the Grand Central for them.

So the question might have come up: how did you find yourself at a party?

Simple: Nicholas Wang.

Your best friend, ride or die, and the bane of your existence because the universe had plagued the two of you with opposing personalities. Nicholas knows well enough that parties aren’t your thing and you were stubborn enough that he never tried to change your mind, but he enjoyed them. It was fun, he’s a social butterfly that thrives by interacting with others and he’d always limit himself to asking you to accompany him at least once a semester for a party.

It was the second semester to your second year, so he decided to use his chances now because of much more… important matters to deal with than just partying.

“It’s hosted by Mingyu, Y/N, you know? The guys that rented a whole-ass house for themselves?” You knew who he meant. Kim Mingyu and a bunch of his friends couldn’t find a place to stay once their time on campus dorms had ended, so they decided to find a fairly big house they could room up to ten people to rent. Not only was a huge steal because Mingyu was able to gather about eight other guys to join, but the landlord isn’t strict either, as long as the guys made sure nothing gets damaged (if they did, it was paid out of their own pockets) and to not get the police involved then they were free to do whatever they wanted.

“I don’t really care who is hosting it, Nico,” you mumbled, a resigned look on your face. “Isn’t it a bit early for you to use your pass? It’s barely two weeks into the semester.”

“Uh…” A blush coated his cheeks as he averted his eyes, only piquing your interest now. “So, the thing is… You know how I went skiing for break, I kind of met someone there—“

You sat up, eyes so wide that you worried they’d pop out. This was news; Nicholas, despite being a social butterfly, never was interested in anyone, no matter how many people tried to get closer—boy or girl. You couldn’t help the wide smile that pulled at your lips. “Oh my gosh! That’s awesome! Who are they?” He had always expressed his sexuality as something he never wanted to label, he only knew that if he had romantic feelings for someone, he never really cared for who they were.

“It’s Byun Euijoo, he’s an Engineering major.” Nicholas then went on to explain how the two had ran into each other in the same ski resort the recent break, the romantic cliché of getting stuck in the ski lift for about twenty minutes, and talking until the machine came back on. They then decided to continue their conversation over dinner with hot cocoa and well, to say the least, Nicholas was smitten over the guy.

“But what does Euijoo have anything to do—“ The realization struck. You paused then squinted your eyes. “He lives there?”

Nicholas shook his head, before a sheepish smile etched on his face. “But he did ask if I was going.”

Alas, you found yourself in the party. And to make it worse, not even twenty seconds in the door, someone crashed right into you, their drink and snacks they were carrying had spilled all over you, staining your shirt with an alcoholic concoction and nacho cheese sauce.

“Oh my gosh, Y/N,” Nicholas exclaimed. “Are you okay? Gosh, couldn’t that guy see where he was going?” He threw a glare in the direction of where the guy that bumped into you had gone.

“I’m fine, Nico,” you reassured, however your best friend wasn’t convinced. “Hey, I see Euijoo over there by the food table, why don’t you go talk to him?”

“How about y—“

“I’ll ask around for a bathroom, it’s alright.” He stared at you, brows pulled together. You rolled your eyes, emphasizing, “It’s okay.” You then turned him around so he faced away from him, giving him a gentle push. “Now, go.”

He looked over his shoulder as he walked slowly, but when you gave him a reassuring look, he returned with a grateful smile and disappeared into the crowd, his head popping up right by the food table not long after. Once you were sure he was out of sight, you heaved a sigh, your shoulders slouching. Every time you’d gone out to a party, it’d give you a reason why it is never a good decision. The last time you had gone out, you spent most of your time by the snacks and for some reason, someone didn’t inspect the food provided and you ended up eating something that was way past its best before date, resulting into an intensive couple of hours in the toilet the next morning.

Now your favorite white shirt was stained with alcohol and cheese.

You tried to ask others where the bathroom was, ultimately being ignored at almost every turn.

“Hey, can you point me—“

“Do you know where—“

“Anyone know—“

“Bathroom, where—“

Hopeless.

Obviously you could try looking through every door until you found the bathroom, but the house was three floors, and even the first floor was so crowded, you were grateful to even find the front door again. You wanted to dip—everything in you and the state of your outfit with the stains seeping through the material—urged you to just leave, and hope that Nicholas’ “date” goes well and he won’t need a ride home.

The urge stuck, pushing your body towards the door as if it had a mind of its own (and it was thinking, “fuck this”), but a voice pulled you out of your thoughts.

“Looking for the bathroom?” A relieved smile appeared on your lips as you turned around to see your saviour of the night, but it immediately dropped when you saw he spoke to you.

Koga Yudai (infamously referred to as “Kei” for reasons unknown to you) had the gentlest of smiles etched across his pink lips when he appeared before you. He looked different—grown, mature, and obviously attractive as hell. A lot had changed since the last time you saw him; the last time being grade school. Of course you were well aware that he went to the same university as you, but he was in a completely department and the chances of your paths crossing was low.

But never zero, I guess.

He glanced down to your mess of a shirt, a teasing grin on his lips. “Damn, Y/N, you really know how to party.”

You rolled your eyes. The relationship you and Kei had in grade school was friendly, being a year above you limited your interactions but back then, he used to live in the same neighbourhood as you. Your mothers met each other often during community gatherings and events, your fathers also worked in the same area in the city. Being friendly with each other was inevitable, but Kei took it a step further by teasing you every so often.

“Do you know where the bathroom is, Kei?” You asked exasperated, not wanting to play along with his teasing. The smell from the cheese and pungency of the alcohol was seeping through your shirt, invading your noise and sticking to your skin, if he didn’t show you the bathroom in that very moment, you were sure a homicide was going to take place.

“Yeah, I’ll show you the one near my room so we can get you change of clothes.” He didn’t give you any opportunity to protest or ask further questions before he turned and walked towards the stairs. You followed him like a lost puppy, eyes darting and dodging those in your way. The two of you reached the third floor which was a lot less crowded than the other two.

“We keep the third floor empty of party-goers,” he stated, answering your thoughts.

As you reached a closed door, you asked, So, you live here?” He turned to look at you, nodding, before pushing the door open to reveal the bathroom.

“Head on in, keep it locked, alright?” He told you, stepping aside for you. Before he closed the door, he said, “I’ll be back with a shirt for you.”

“No, Kei, it’s—“ The door closes before you could finish. You sighed, staring at the closed door in a daze, your heart fluttering against your ribcage. You were grateful Kei barely looked at you, hopefully he didn’t notice the way your cheeks were flushed a bright red, and your heavy breathing (that wasn’t from the two flights of stairs).

God, they’re still here? You thought they’d be gone by now, it had been almost a decade since you realized your crush on Kei. A decade where the two of you never saw each other after he said his goodbyes because he and his family were moving to Tokyo for his dad’s new job. You were sure that would be last time you’d see him, giving you enough time and distance to move on from your puppy love.

I guess the feelings were stronger than I thought.

A knock broke you from your thoughts, causing you to jump slightly and then panic because you didn’t lock the door as Yudai had asked.

“Y/N, I brought the shirt.” A sigh of relief escaped your lips, and you pulled the door open. You were met with a look of confusion from Kei. “You didn’t lock the door.” It wasn’t a question, rather a statement.

“Yeah, I was occupied.”

His brows furrowed to that of worry, his lips pressed in a tight line. Oh boy. “Y/N, you’re at a party. Tons of people are here and this bathroom is open for anyone, who knows what would’ve happened if it wasn’t me that came? No one would’ve known you were in here and you could’ve been cleaning yourself up, forgetting to lock the door and someone could just waltz right in—“ He rants dramatically, using his arms and his face contorting, but instead of scaring you, a laugh left you, stopping his nagging. “This is no laughing matter, Y/N.”

“I’m sorry, Kei, it was an honest mistake,” you reassured him, but his scorn prevailed. “You haven’t changed, huh?”

His eyebrows shot up at that, crossing his arms over his chest as he leaned against the door frame, the shirt he brought draped over his crossed arms. “And what’s that supposed to mean?” He asked with a raised brow.

“You still nag ‘til my ears bleed,” you said, over exaggerating.

A look of offense briefly passed his features. “No, I don’t.”

“Yes, you do, you always have!” You grinned. “When I scraped my knee when I rode a bicycle, you told me it was my fault because I didn’t want to wear knee pads. In sixth grade, when I flunked a math test, you nagged at me because instead of studying, I chose to binge watch Barbie.”

Kei’s mouth opened to defend himself, but closed again, thinking back to those days, then finally said, “Okay, maybe I nag a bit but it’s mostly because you don’t listen.”

“Yeah, yeah, can I please have the shirt so I can change? I think the cheese they used for the nachos is a combo of cheddar and blue cheese.” The two of you cringe, and he hands you the shirt before closing the door.

You were to turn to pull your shirt off when the door swung open, a scream escaped your lips as you jumped, turning to find Kei with a shit-eating grin. “Lock it, Y/N.”

“Alright!” A laugh echoed from the other side when you turned the key. You took your time to peel the stained shirt off of you, the state of it causing you to pout as you contemplated whether or not you should give a chance and laundry it or to just toss it out altogether. It genuinely concerned you how much thought you were putting into that decision because the shirt had been with you for years, and it fit you the way that could only be done through constant wear. You doubt you could find another.

So you decided to rinse it, at least get as much of the stain and cheese out with the bar soap available, and then let the washing machine back home deal with the remains. You also grabbed a wad of toilet paper, running it under water before wiping the skin of your stomach and chest. Unfortunately, no matter how much you scrubbed it, the smell of alcohol wasn’t disappearing.

Giving up, you folded your shirt neatly, tucking it away in the small bag you brought before picking up Kei’s shirt. You gripped the shoulders, allowing it to unravel. It was a flannel made of cotton, thin enough for the warm summer night but wasn’t transparent either when you held it against the light. The best part though was the smell; a mixture of softener, musk and woodiness that seemed all-too familiar but you couldn’t put a finger on what it was. One thing you remembered about Kei was his genuine interest in perfumes and all things scented. You remember there was a point you were hanging out in his house and his mother came barging in into his room, angry because Kei had borrowed her perfume and forgot to put it back.

You smiled fondly at the memory, all those days suddenly felt so close—closer than they had ever been for the past few years, but just as far.

You slipped the shirt on, the material feeling soft and warm against your skin. Despite its larger size, you felt it fit you just right.

Once you were done, you pulled the door open and stepped out, pulling at the flannel and tucking the front part into your jeans. “You look really good in my shirt.”

Another scream, but this time, you smacked his arm. “Stop that!”

He threw his head back at your reaction. “You’ve always been easy to scare.” You rolled your eyes, glaring at him, but he ignored the look as he nodded his head towards the left side of the hallway, opposite to the stairs back at the party. “Come, I know these things are really your scene. I’ve got snacks in my room.”

When you were about to follow him, your phone vibrated in your pockets.

Nico: yn where’d you go? i waited by the bathroom and it wasnt you

“Boyfriend?”

Your eyebrows pulled together at Kei’s question, but you shook your head. “No, it’s a friend I came here with.”

“Oh.” A look of relief passed his face, but it was so quick, you almost questioned if you’d imagined it.

You: hey im with kei rn, im okayyy You: pls have fun with euijoo without me 🤭 Nico: alrightt text me if youre ready to go Nico: but take as much time as you want 😇 You: same to youu

With a satisfied grin, you slipped your phone back in your pocket and followed Kei to his room. It looked just as you had expected; a tidy mess. He had always been the type to keep his room tidy enough that his mom wouldn’t nag at him to clean his room at first glance, but you’d look closely you would notice the pile of laundry on a chair, the mess of textbooks on his desk and his untucked sheets.

One thing for sure, the smell of the room could easily distract you to the point you would never notice any of all that.

You noticed the two scented candles lit by his desk, igniting the space in a warm yellow, wavering a bit with your entrance. The layout looked just like what you’d expected in a college student, which meant that there was a small TV screen, mini fridge and a rice cooker. “Not too bad, Koga.”

“Sorry for the mess,” he apologized with a chuckle. “My bedroom is usually off limits on nights like this.” You stared at him expectantly. “You are an exception, Y/N.”

“Such an honour,” you teased, laughing. “I didn’t know you lived here.”

“Yeah, I was one of the first few people Mingyu approached to join,” he informed, and you nodded wordlessly. “Anyway, why are you here? As far as I remember, you never liked crowded places, let alone a party with drunk college kids.”

“My friend, Nicholas, the guy I came here with asked me to come with him as a—I wouldn’t say wing woman, but he was invited by someone he’s interested in and didn’t want to arrive alone,” you droned on, even though what you were explaining didn’t have any correlation why you’d willingly put yourself in a situation you were uncomfortable in.

And Kei knew that. It was exactly what he had asked. “Still putting the needs of others before your own, huh?”

“Still meddling yourself into things that have nothing to do with you, huh?” You bit back, stunning Kei for a second before a soft chuckle left his lips. “I don’t… mind, if the whole cheese thing didn’t happen then I’d probably be having fun by the snack table right now, maybe even talk with Kevin from Stats. I saw him by the kitchen earlier.” You knew you were rambling to deflect, and despite the years that passed between you and Kei, he was still well aware of your old habits.

And he’d always listen. The two of you had sat on the floor close to his bed, the mini fridge beside the door, and he had already propped his arm up, resting his chin while you rambled on, justifying why you did come to the party. He never interrupted, because sooner you would realize what you were spewing wasn’t entirely true and blush, embarrassed for letting yourself talk so much.

“Yeah, I get it, Y/N, but the line between selflessness and self-sacrifice is almost invisible, what you’re doing is sacrificing your own comfort for the sake of others,” he pointed out, “you know you’re not a party person, but you still go out of your way because someone asked you to.”

“That would mean I shouldn’t leave my comfort zone,” you retorted, the back of your neck beginning to heat up. “I’m not eleven anymore, Yudai. I get you had been protective then, but I’m an adult now. I can choose whether or not I want to put myself in uncomfortable situations.”

He was quiet for longer than you expected, and you feared that you’d said something wrong, maybe even offended him. But then you caught the twitch at the corner of lips unfold into a smirk. “You called me Yudai.”

The embarrassment was almost immediate. Your cheeks flushed a bright red, heating up not just your face but your entire body. Nobody—as far as you knew—called him Yudai, all of them called him Kei, even back when you went to the same school. The only people that called him Yudai were his parents, and well, you. It started as a way to tease him, like being called your full name, but doing it so often, it became a habit.

It slipped, in the midst of your minor altercation, you were overwhelmed by the emotions of being treated like a kid to even realize.

“I almost thought you’d forgotten.”

“How could I? The faces you’d make when I called you Yudai were priceless,” you said with a laugh. “Especially when I did it in front of your friends.”

“Not even my mom embarrasses me like that,” he adds, causing the two of you to laugh harder. “I’m sorry if I offended you, I’m well aware you’re not a kid anymore, and yeah, I’m glad you don’t want to keep staying within your comfort zone even if it’s hard.”

“But…?” It was clear something else.

“Just… I guess, it’s a bit hard for me to grasp that you really don’t need me anymore,” he admits, a faint shade of pink appearing in his cheeks. “I know you’ve always been able to handle things yourself, but it always felt, I don’t know, comforting I guess, whenever you included me in the things you were going through.” He paused again. “You’ve matured, Y/N, is all I’m saying.”

His words tugged at your heart, the truth behind them revealing itself in the maze of your memories. Yes, Yudai had always been a nagging Nancy, most the problems gone through during your time together were always accompanied by his reprimanding. However, he never scolded you without providing a solution or way out.

Sure he might’ve yelled at you for scraping your knee but he’d do so while plastering on a band-aid he had prepared beforehand.

Yes, he had talked your ear off when you failed math, but he made it his mission, amidst his own studies and extracurriculars, to tutor you so you can retake the test.

Even now, you’re wearing a clean and comfortable shirt that doesn’t smell like a science experiment gone wrong.

There were different things you wanted to tell him, thank him, say that he made your life easier, but instead you opted to say, “You really haven’t changed.”

Laughter shook his body. “What can I say? Old habits die hard.”

“What habit? Nagging ‘til our ears bleed?” You teased. He shook his head, the smirk lingering on his lips as he locked eyes with yours.

“The habit of always wanting to be there for you.”

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margoisthemoon2 · 2 years ago

Text

Hate // Miguel O’Hara x Spiderpunk x reader smut w/ plot

Word count: Idk I wasn’t keeping track but this is very long.

Warning. Smut. Fingering. Eating out. Rough. PIV sex. Porn w/ plot. Unprotected sex.

Note: OC is 20-22. Miguel is in his 30s. Hobie is 19-21. This story takes place before ATSV. Contains a bit of spoilers. If you haven’t watched the movie then idk what to say, just don’t get mad at me lol. Ummm I haven’t wrote smut in a while so bare with me plz. Also OC is black because i am and there needs to be more representation. Oc can look like whatever you want them to look like but i put height/weight in there already. Okay im sorry im done. Go read!!!!

~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~

Let’s do this one last time.

Hey I’m spider woman or more so called Spider Riot. I’m 5’11, 130lbs. I was bitten by a radioactive spider. And for 4yrs I’ve been the one and only spider woman of New York on Earth 1214. A year ago I was pulled into the spider-verse. Invited by Jessica Drew and taught by her also. Lets get to the real story.

My best bud and rocker; Hobie Brown or as i call him, Hobs. We met a few months into me being in the verse. Our similar style and life made us super close super fast and we have been inseparable since. “Hey hobs have you seen my guitar pic?” I asked. We was getting ready to rehearse a song and I was desperately looking for my red and black pik i had just a few minutes ago. “Why are you asking me its your stuff” Hobie says lazily strumming on his guitar. I look at him with an annoyed expression. “Wow your really no help you know that?” I say reaching under a couch digging around for my stuff “good” He says reaching behind him “is this it lad” he says holding up my exact pic “ah yes!! Thanks hobs” i say reaching for it and him pulling his hand farther away from my reach. “Gotta give me a kiss first” he says with a smirk on his face “Hardy har har give it hobs” i says snatching it from his hands “i just wanted to know if you would actually do it” he says walking to the back of our rehearsal room. I know that he likes me but I just don’t feel the same. He is a great guy and all but i have my eyes set on someone else… Miguel O’Hara. Miguels was a authoritative 6’7 man who i couldn’t help but fall for.

After rehearsal I, Hobie and a few other bandmates was hanging out in the living area chatting. It was getting late. I do a big yawn and stands up “looks like it’s my time to bounce guys” i say heading towards the door “ill come with you to make sure you get home safely” hobie goes and we both head out the door into the cool night air. We walk into an alleyway and i get out my watch and type in my destination, a portal opens up lighting up the area. “Same time tomorrow?” Hobie goes leaning against a wall “you betcha” i say stepping a foot into the portal. “Actually i need you both at HQ” a hologram of jess pops up behind hobie. “Its late and people have jobs” hobie goes turning around “and those people are not you or her” jess says looking over at me “Get over here asap its important” and with that Jessica’s hologram goes away and i sign “well I guess we have other plans” i go typing in Nueva York destination and Me and Hobie step in disappearing. We arrive at HQ and i immediately goes to throw up into the nearest trashcan. “I will always say this. I. Hate. Portal. Traveling.” I say a sick look on my face. “Well you go to and from my place all the time” hobie goes shoving me a but with his elbow, “yeah because I actually like you and your fun” i go poking his nose the sick feeling leaving my body as we arrive to Miguels ‘office’. We wait what seems like an eternity for miguel platform to lower to us. “By the gods i hate this” I whisper to hobie “I can hear you” Miguel goes as soon as his platform stops. He turns towards us. “How many times do I have to warn you both to cut it out with the constant traveling between earths” He says “In the past 6mths you both have totaled over 12,000 travels. Hobie more than Moxie” Miguel goes pinching the bridge of his nose and putting a hand on his hip. “Where are you going so much hobs” I jokingly say, hobie side eyed me “don’t worry ’bout it” he goes and looks back at Miguel. We watch as Miguel blabbers on about being a superhero and being more responsible. “You are dismissed” Miguel says we both turn around to walk away “Except for you Moxie” He says running a hand over his face. Hobie winks at me and walks away with jess. “What did i do now your highness?” I go rolling my eyes. When i focus back in miguel is standing in front if me. Close enough to reach up and touch. I look up making eye contact with him and feeling smaller than ever under his large frame. “Do you know that hobie is mainly going to your earth?” He says, i talk a gulp of air “No I didn’t. Why are you bringing it up?” I ask taking a step back, miguel puts both hands on his hips “I think you should find out for yourself. And please…please be safe Mox. You two might be friends but who knows what that kid is up to” Miguel goes pointing out into the distance. “Yeah…yeah ill keep an eye out. Thanks” i say feeling a small tingling in my cheeks. I turn to leave, looking back and seeing Miguel walking back to his platform. “Miguel being worried for me…..strange” i think seeing Hobie sitting down and kicking up his feet. We wave at eachother and i do a small run over.

I wake up in a sweat. The dream i just had was so weird and strange. It was miguel and me in a relationship. Laughing. Happy. Drinking coffee. “I hate coffee” I whisper to myself and remembering the numbers i saw in that dream 199786. I slip on my spider suit. Black and red mask with long sleeve arm covers. Cropped red leather jack and half full black and red plaid skirt with thigh high combat boots. Jumping out of my open window and swinging to the rook of my building pulling out my hidden radio, listening to my next thing to do.

After fighting off a villain and rescuing a few kittens from too tall trees im finally free. But the numbers 199786 wont leave my mind. Out of curiosity i Type it into my watch and a portal opens up. Surprised I listen to my radio one more time….silence. I shut it off stepping into the portal and flying away. I land into a version of new york. But not my new york. It’s more minimal and cleaner. I’m on the rook of what would be my building in my earth. And look down and the person i don’t expect to see is… Miguel. I swing down. Hiding behind a car as i watch him enter a corner coffee shop. I look up at the business name Ceces Coffee Cafe. This place closed in my world tears ago. I continued watching running to hid behind a neatly trimmed bush looking through the window at miguel or at least a version of him. This Miguel looks more happy with life and a gleam to his eyes. I watch as he orders a coffee the server face is hidden behind a hat and then they look up…. ME. The server is me. I’m working here and talking to Miguel. “Hey are you okay?” I hear a voice behind me and turn around to see a lady reaching to touch my shoulder. I jump back and swing away to a rooftop. Can’t believing my eyes. I open a portal back to my world. Taking another look back and see Miguel leaving the cafe with a big smile on his face and a coffee in his hand. I quickly exit and land back to my world. I cant tell anyone.

It’s been a few months and every 2-3 weeks I visit ‘myself’ at the shop. Seeing miguel come in and order the same coffee. Its the 4th time ive come to this earth and im sitting in the shop using a black mask and a hat to cover my face a features. Miguel enters and goes right up to ‘me’ and orders. But instead of walking to wait for his coffee he does something else.

“Hey so i know i come here alot and fet the same thing but… i was wondering if you would be interested in grabbing dinner with me sometime” Miguels goes rubbing the back of his neck nervously

The version of me does a small chuckle. “Actually I would like that”

My eyes widen as i watch them exchange numbers and Miguel grabs his coffee and leaves. I quickly gets up and leaves. Turning a corner into an alleyway and opening up a portal. My heart is beating fast and hard. I jump into the portal and land in my room on my bed. Doing a sequel of excitement. “Omg I can’t believe Im going on a date with Miguel o’hara. Well a version of me but STILL” i say to myself. “What are you losing your wits for?” I hear a familiar voice say in my doorway. I look up. Hobie. “Hobs when did you get here?” I say sitting up. “Don’t worry ‘bout it” he says and looks up “where ya go?” He questions leaning against the doorway. “Don’t worry about it” i shoot back at him. He rolls his eyes and walks away into the living room. I follow behind sitting on the couch and watch as he perch himself on my coffee table. “So I’ve been thinking. We work great together” he goes. “Yeah we work pretty good beating bad guys” i say laying down onto the rest of the couch “yea, we’d look even betta together” he says looking at me. I look around and back at him “look hobs. You’re a really good friend and all but im waiting for someone” i say leaning up on my elbows to look at him more. “And that someone will never be ready for you. Why wait when im right here for you now” he goes i sit up fully “it can’t happen hobie. Im sorry. We just do-“ i get cut off from Hobie rushing over and kissing me. The kiss was soft with a little urgency. The cold metal of his lip piercing causing me to shiver a bit. “What was that again?” Hobie goes. I look at him still processing everything. Hobie leans in kissing down my neck. I put a hand on his shoulder “no please let me show you how much i care” He goes and looks at me. We make eye contact and i nod my head. Hobie moves down to the floor. And gently spreads my legs as he plants kisses along my underwear through my skirt. I let out a small gasp when I feel his tongue pushing into my underwear and into my area. I watch as his head comes up and we stare into eachother eyes as he pulls off my underwear. He lowers back in and continues to kiss my area. Eventually he sticks his tongue in and uses a free hand to rub my clit. I gasp and let out a small moan. “Youre so wet” i do a small hum as he proceeds to lick and suck my area. His left hand that was previously on my thigh grabs a boob and massages it for a bit before it goes down and two fingers plunge into my softly. I let out another moan. “Yeah you like that right?” The sounds of his sucking and my wetness fills the room. I’m getting close snd his fingers picks up the pace a little faster. “There we go” he says and i arch my back and do a not so loud moan. He kisses between my legs and removes his fingers. Getting a paper towel to wipe them clean. I’m panting looking up at the ceiling. “What have i done?” I think to myself. I quickly put on my underwear and hobie is walking back to me. “What ya thi-“ he says before i cut him off “go” i say “what? I-“ he stutters “JUST GO HOBIE. Please. I need time to process this” i say almost shouting at him. I hear a shuffle before a portal opens behind and he’s gone. I curl up into a ball and cry silently. Things are going to be so different from now on. Slowly i drift into sleep. Somehow my tear stained cheeks comfort me a bit.

•••

“Hey. HEY WAKE UP!!” I shot up from my sleep jessica’s holographic voice yelling at me. “Yeah! Yeah! What is it?” I ask yawning and rubbing my eyes. Looking up at her. “Miguel wants you at HQ” she says crossing her arms. “Okay, okay just let me get ready and ill be out there” i say getting up “yeah yeah. Shuuutt up” she says before leaving.

I arrive at HQ doing my usual throwing up my insides and talking to a few spiders. Eventually I arrive. “You called miguel” i say kinda afraid of why im here “yeah. Jess leave the room and shit the door make sure noone comes in…or out” his eyes shoot me a glare. I gulp and watch jess leaves. Miguel stands and looks at me “how are your portal travels?” He says “umm good good. Haven’t really been going anywhere except for hobies place” i say playing with my hands “really. Because i see you’ve been going to a unusual PLACE!!” Miguel says and jump down from his platform. “Umm what you mean?” I say taking a step back “you know exactly what I mean” he says walking up me me “Haha funny joke. Nice one you got me!!” I say nervously stepping back until my back hits a object and Miguel towers over me “Dont play dumb and stupid with me. What is earth 199786? And how do you know about it” he says “i don’t know. I’ve only been there a few times” i say “i saw it in a dream and it stuck with me” i say trying to move away. Miguel uses him arms to trap me in on both sides, he leans in closer, whispering in my ear “I know all about your little secret moxie” he says “You do?” I go shaking a bit. Both in fear and arousal. “Yeah and I know what you want” he goes. I feel his hand grab my waist as he pulls me closer to me. He pulls his head away and looks down at me. I gulp “you do?” I ask again “yeah. This!” He goes before he kisses me. In shock i push him off me. We stare at eachother for -5 seconds before i throw myself onto him and we continue kissing. I run my hands through his hair and he gives a small chuckle. “I work very hard on my hair” he goes as i bite down on his lip a bit and go “well looks like you’re gonna have to work hard again” we continue kissing and he starts using his hands to make me grind on his clothed member. I reach down to remove my underwear and immediately i feel his hand in between my legs. His thick long finger plunging into me “Youre so wet” he goes and i moan a little louder as he sucks on my neck. He removes his fingers putting them on his mouth sucking on what’s left of me. He takes my shirt and rip it open “don’t worry ill get you a nee one” he says into my ear. His suit retracts and he is bare in front of me. He taps my thigh a couple of times signaling me to jump up. I obliged he uses one hand to hold me up and the other to position himself. “This is going to hurt a bit sweetheart” slowly he moves into me. I wince a little from how big he is. He starts off slow. My juices covering his length now allowing him to slip in easier and faster. I moan loudly and bite his shoulder “Yeah you like that right?” He goes i lean my head back and we kiss. He start picking up the pace hammering into me. The feeling of his balls hitting my butt turns me on even more. I feel us moving as he walks over to a table like area and lays me down on it. Taking one leg and putting it on his shoulder and using a hand to cup my breast. The bee position allowing him to go deeper and faster. I put a hand on his bicep to hold myslef in place “oh god miguel faster” i say “There we go” he says as he lowers my leg and put both arms by my shoulders to hold me in place as he ruthlessly pounds into me. Our skin slapping rapidly and echoing in the large room. “Oh fuck. Miguel. Im close” i moan. He lowers himself onto me and rest his head in the corner of my neck, panting loudly and letting out few groans to curses. “Fuck!! I want to cum in you” He says as he wraps an arm around my waist and lifts me up a bit. The new position causing us both to moan and he sloppily kisses me. “Please do. Please miguel” i say in the heat of the moment. He looks at me to thrust into me a few times before I felt the warm rish of his cum paint my walls. I orgasmed and my legs shake he thrust into me slowly as we both come down from the intense moment. He slips off and kisses my forehead. “Go and shower I’ll go get you a new shirt” He goes as his suit materializes back onto him.

*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*

-The next day-

I happily skip into HQ to see miguel of course. Me and Hobie still haven’t talk but i plan to fix that. I see Miguel talking to jess and Ben and kiss him on the cheek. “Hey miggy” i say cheerfully He looks at me with cold eyes and back at jess and ben “excuse me for a moment” he gently shoves me out of earshot of the two “what the hell are you doing?” He asks “what you mean? Im just giving my future boyfriend a kiss” I giggle. He closes his eyes and sign’s before opening them again and looks at me. “Im not your future anything. We had a one night stand” he says looking away “what! No last night was very intimate. You made loved to me!” I go “No. i fucked you. I was stressed and you was there. Like i said i knew all about your visit to earth 199786. Those versions of ourselves dating. Well thats not going to happen between us okay, i filled your fantasy and you you helped me out” he says. He pats me on my shoulder before walking back to jess and ben. I felt the tears form and fall as I quickly typed in my home and left. Running to my room and into my bed crying into my pillow. “Im always here if you need me.” I hear behind me, i turn around, Hobie. “And im sorry for what i did. It was stupid and i wont ever do it again” he goes and sits on the edge of my bed. I sit up and hug him tight. “Im sorry for doing that to you hobs. You’re all I could ever ask for” i say He wraps his arms around me and I silently cry into his shirt, he says “Dont worry about it Big steppa. I could never hate you”

End.

Note: My thumb kinda hurts now. Anyways what you think? Should moxie stay with hobie or should she go back to Miguel who cant decide his feelings for anyone. Also did you pay attention to the smut details i did using the same words that hobie used with moxie and had Miguel also use them to get a different reaction from Moxie. Anyways. Dont steal. I only posted this fic on tumblr and nowhere else. I hope you enjoyed it. Rock on!

#marvel #spiderman atsv #atsv fic #miguel o'hara #spiderman #spider punk #spiderman 2099 #miguel o’hara smut #spider punk smut #atsv hobie #hobie brown #hobie x reader #hobie brown smut #across the spider verse spoilers #across the spiderverse #jessica drew #miguel o’hara fic #spiderpunk fic

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cal-daisies-and-briars · 4 months ago

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omg??? Why am I already tearing up over this fic???

🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞

IDK but I'm glad!!!

78 for 🪞:

---

A very new, very much still getting to know each other couple. That hardly seems to factor into a decision like this.

“You’re serious,” Buck says.

“As serious as you were when you suggested it to us,” Bobby replies.

“You think I could do it?” Buck asks.

Bobby smiles. “I do. But it’s a big decision. Huge. Don’t jump in either direction without thinking it through.”

Buck feels a little frozen. He did not come here thinking this was an option he’d live with. He’d counted himself out. Assumed he wasn’t a plausible choice. But something wriggles around in his brain at the thought of being the person to do this. Something positive. He’s always wanted to be a father. He hadn’t exactly considered this pathway. But why not? This is pretty much the age he met Christopher, and Christopher isn’t biologically his, and he couldn’t love that kid any more. He knows he could feel the same way about another kid, the right kid. And this does seem sort of… Serendipitous?

“And you know...” Bobby continues. “Whatever you decide, you have a whole family of people here who support you and who would help you.”

Buck’s shoulders sag a little.

“Thank you,” he says quietly.

He has a lot to think about now.

▪️▪️▪️

Wrestling with a big question about his life, Buck goes to the next most important person he has to factor into his decision-making. Eddie.

“Do you think I could adopt a kid?” Buck asks when he shows up to Eddie’s, unannounced, directly after leaving Bobby and Athena’s apartment.

Eddie blinks, clearly thrown. He’s sitting in his living room folding laundry in front of the television.

“Is this about Pipe Baby?” He asks.

“Her name is Dove,” Buck reminds him. “And yes.”

“Dove,” Eddie amends. “I’m not sure what you’re asking, Buck.”

“What do you mean?”

“Are you asking if you are actually able to adopt a child or if I think you’d be good at it?” Eddie asks.

“Both?” Buck asks, walking into the living room to flop down on the couch beside Eddie.

“Well, I don’t know anything about the process,” Eddie says. “So to the first point, I have no clue. To the second point, you already know what I think.”

“I do?” Buck asks.

Eddie rolls his eyes. “I didn’t make you Christopher’s guardian in the case of my death because I think you’d be a shitty parent.”

Right. Eddie has a lot of faith in him.

“But that’s Christopher,” Buck points out. “I already know him.”

Buck has already thought about this, of course. He just wants Eddie’s opinion.

“But you didn’t always,” Eddie says. “And you always treated him like he was important and capable and worth getting to know, anyway.”

“Because he is,” Buck replies.

“You don’t think she is, too?” Eddie asks.

“Yeah. I do think she probably is,” Buck admits.

“Then there you go.”

“That easy, huh?” Buck asks.

“That easy,” Eddie answers.

“You’re not going to try and talk me out of it? Tell me how hard it’ll be?”

Eddie shrugs, focusing back on his laundry. “You can ask Hen how hard it’ll be. She knows better than anyone. As for talking you out of it? I know how you are when you get your head fixated on a problem.”

#daisies and briars writes #we won't look back fic

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bubblybloob · 8 months ago

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Hey, so this kind of turned into a vent. Be wary going in, but it’s important if you engage some with my stuff. I think I’ve been thinking about it more as btg has become more active, and wanted to get it all off my chest.

I’ve wanted to bring this up for a while now, after my popularity grew. I’m sure some people have noticed my lack of joy at the 500 followers milestone, and the 600 one, but it’s a bit more complicated than on the surface.

So, there was something I haven’t really mentioned. It wasn’t ever really a secret, I just didn’t feel it was important, and was always taught it was dangerous to talk about and to dance around the subject if brought up. But I’ve noticed that the people on Tumblr find this kind of important to know when interacting. I know people on here can get really hostile, and this kind of became a secret because of that. I don’t know if it’s bad that I haven’t said anything or not, but I thought I should still make a post anyway.

So, I’m, in my country, since I know it might be younger or older in other places, a minor.

Okay most important stuff first. Yes, I’ve said or drawn mildly suggestive stuff, that’s mostly because I’m very unaffected by it and find it more amusing (I might be a little ace idk), though I do purposely keep stuff I make mostly tame simply because like- still technically a kid. I’ve seen stuff far more suggestive from afar before and just nod and say “mm, yes, that exists” and indifferently move the hell on with my life.

Being part of the STP community has been really strange for me and not all in good ways. I hate hate hate people looking up to me, or being jealous, or having anxiety talking to me because- in my head- I’m just doing everything and talking to everyone I can because I like making stuff and talking to people, and I feel so uncomfortable up on this pedestal where I’m held so high, but if I make one wrong step I’ll have tomatos thrown at me. It’s a really claustrophobic and isolating position and feeling and it makes me feel sick, anxious, stressed, and really really scared.

I like the community I’m in and friends I’ve made, but I’m really afraid I’ll say something unusual or wrong or maybe even offensive since I don’t know everything I’m supposed to say or do. I don’t know how to act when someone’s depressed, I don’t know how people feel about shipping, or designs for characters who canonically don’t have a physical appearance, or what the opinion is on all of the nsfw content. I do the Homer Simpson bush meme whenever I see it pop up because if there’s something that I do know, it’s that people don’t want minors reading their blorbos being sexy with each other.

(Side note: The amount of times I’ve accidentally clicked on an explicit fic thinking ‘Oo what’s this’ and then seeing what’s going to happen is… not staggering, actually. But enough for me to laugh in hindsight. I scroll to the bottom to read the comments to confirm my suspicions, and get the hell out. Happened with the same fics multiple times too because I forgot they were explicit and that I’d encountered them in the first place, wondered why I never read them and then boom, flashback, I never read the description like the fool I am).

And there’s the thing isn’t it. Some parts of fandom culture, it feels like all I can do is mess up. I just don’t know how I can handle all the fear of this attention?

Like, I don’t hate it. I like interacting, I like that people love my art despite my grievances with parts of my style, I’ve been so motivated to grow and get better because of everyone. You can all look at my oldest STP post and newest one and see the differences plainly.

But it’s really so much, and I’m as grateful as I am terrified. I’m terrified of hurting someone’s feelings when I don’t mean to. Like, what if I follow someone and they get excited because I’m a “big name” and then I decide to unfollow for whatever reason I might have at the time? I might crush that person’s soul or want to interact.

Despite my willingness, I do have problems with some ships, but I can’t voice any because what if I start a big argument with a bunch of people involved instead of the normal discussion I wanted to have? People are more likely to take my side because I’m the popular person, and we all know popular people are always right about everything and we must regurgitate their opinions without any thought put into how you actually feel. And then I’ll make whoever I was talking to retreat for a really long time, and everything will be awful and terrible forever and ever.

I can’t do that to people! I’ve been those people! I’ve was told things by people I looked up to and would get so so so upset, because I’m really emotional. I don’t want to hurt someone who might be sensitive like me.

I really just wanted to get all these feelings off my chest. Sorry if it got pretty venty. I’m open to discussing it, I’m still really scared to post this, it’s my only ever vent post, but I’ll try not to just save it in my drafts and let it rot.

#vent post #really sorry this is long

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crescencestudio · 7 months ago

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Heyoo! 👋 I'm new to these asks, played your game, Alaris, and OMG is it so good! Aisa and Etza are on my mind, rent free, but mostly Aisa, I simp for Aisa, idk why I find the quiet ones cute/hot, I just do. 😭

👀 *coughs* Anywayyys, first things first, I'm curious about the world building of this game, ik there's already alot in it. But now I can't help wondering just how populated humans are in this world? Cause alot of the buildings seem to look worn-down/covered in plants, I can imagine the human race not to be very populated, unless they r and I'm just being dumb lol. But I couldn't help wondering since there used to be dragons, and now their's the fae race, and god knows if there are any other races out there besides those two (which I'm assuming there aren't, but who knows?).

I'm also saying this because the village(?)/town(?)/city(?) that MC, mom, human LI's are in seem to be in a relatively small, secluded town area, unless they aren't(?). Idk, if there even are big 'cities', but just little, scattered, hidden/overgrown towns like MC is in.

I'm also also saying this because i hope to build up my Alaris OC's life/background a bit, he's currently in the works rn ✍️👀 Speaking of, do u know of what happened to the MC's father? Or are we free to HC/imagine to whatever happened to him?

Lastlyyy (this ones most important of my asks I think 👀 mostly cause of trying to build my OC's childhood lol), what is the schooling like in this world? Where do the children go to learn about their world? Do they go to a regular public school? Or mentored/tutored/homeschooled by whoever is available/able to teach them?

Speaking of which, how do children even view this world? I bet their imagination must be top notch cause of humanity's history with dragons and all lol. I can imagine them little gremlins, running around pretending to be dragons lol.

Do the children/people of this world gain their "energy"/dragon magic, or are they just born with it?

Sorry for all of these asks 😭 I wasn't expecting to ask this much honestly, I was only going to ask like, 1 question then ask for a LI ask(which I'll do in the next ask since I don't want to pile them all into one) lmao.

I tend to ramble so apologies for that, I'm just really curious about this game and it's story, I also don't want to write something in my OC's bio that's canonically incorrect lol.

🫡 Anywho, I appreciate and salute u if u read all of this, idk if there's a number limit to how many asks we can ask but I just hope this wasn't too much lol.

hello!!!! ahhh i'm so glad you liked alaris this much omg q.q it's always a compliment to know players get into the game and stories i've toiled away on ^^ your ask and interest in the game mean so much to me!!!!

i'll try my best to answer all your questions--in the future, i def recommend splitting them up into separate asks (at least in categories) since it makes it easier for me to go through and answer everything <3

✨ Human Population

so you're right in that the world of alaris isn't densely populated. there was a lot of tragedy and destruction during the great war and so as the years have gone on, nature has kinda taken over (in a healing way) which leads to the look that you see in the game. i'd say most areas in alaris are towns similar to the size of where mc and cast are located!

✨ MCs Dad

there actually is a set backstory for mc's dad. i can't give any details since it's a spoiler but will be covered in the full game! you're totally free to HC your own theory/take on MCs dad but just to be totally transparent, it may end up differing from what is shared in game. as long as you're ok with that, feel free to HC away until the game is released!

✨ Schooling System and Energy

it's all public schools in alaris! homeschooling is actually not an option because the education system helps children hone their Energy. the schooling system teaches kids on the history, giving a lot of importance to the great war, the downfall of technology, and the significance of the dragons sacrifice. and then obviously other material that we would learn irl like math, language, and extracurriculars.

the unique part of the schooling system is, like i said, kids learn how to use their Energy at school. everyone in alaris is born with some kind of Energy. it may not be very strong, but everyone has access to at least a little bit of magic. Energy usually fully manifests by the time kids enter school, which would be around 4-6. once they go to school, they'll learn what kind of Energy they have, it's uses, etc. the schooling on education is pretty heavily monitored so that central can make sure no kids pose a danger to anyone. these cases are Extremely rare though since alaris is set in a very peaceful world!

kids are definitely imaginative, but i wouldn't say Significantly More than in our own world! the main difference is probably that some of their "fantasies" are a little more accessible to them since they actually have magic!

#alaris #asks #a3hl3y

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klaissance · 1 year ago

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Do you have any dad klance headcannons?

Thank you so much for asking dear sweet asker I appreciate you so much. I actually,,, lowkey don't? Dad!Klance is not something I think about that much, I think bc as a teenage girl in my 20s I am not in a parent/family space that often BUT FOR YOU IMMA TRY HERE WE GO:

for starters I think they're really good at it let's get that straight from the jump

Lance always wanted to be a parent I think--comes from a big family, has watched his siblings become parents, is obsessed with his cool uncle status, has always seen parenthood ahead as something to look forward to

Keith is the opposite, never in a million bazillion years thought that was in the cards for him

he's gay so that came with its own list of things to be worried about that would be difficult in terms of, like, acquiring a child, plus he just sort of had a shitty time as a kid, has a funny relationship with the words "parent" and "dad" and hasn't had the time to hash that out with a therapist because he's been in space

really truly Keith is a feral desert child and when presented with the thought of turning a small being into an adult suitable for society his brain shorts out

...until they get together

actually, both of them flip on this while they're in space OKAY NOW WE'RE COOKING

Lance, my poor sweet darling prince, is a little less sold on children. He grows up hard and fast and violent in the intergalactic war they're thrust into, sees terrible things happen to good people all over the place, sees kids left parentless and parents lose a child, sees himself nearly die more times than he can count (oop that one time he did die lol), and suddenly the idea of kids in the future isn't tinted golden and sparkling with the memories of his childhood. He's an adult and anything could happen and it's terrifying and hard and he knows he loves what he does--loves helping people, loves interacting with children, wants to teach or something later for sure maybe--but the actual parenting is soured by the thought of his mom back home thinking her son is dead and not even having the closure of a burial or anything. He learns that nothing is certain in the way he used to think it was, and stops expecting specific things for his future

Klance gets together [how?? girls idk any infinite number of ways that is every post I'll ever make until the end of time but not this one--trust though it was juicy] and they stay together while they're fighting the space war, and slowly and then all at once Keith "Lone Wolf" "Not A Family Man" "Feral Desert Orphan" "Kids What Are Those" Kogane is, like,,,, thinking about his life and his future beyond like,,, the next hour,,, and is imagining kids in the picture??? trust it shocks him too

This actually is a version of their relationship that I really like thinking about! Lance pivots on all of his hopes and dreams that he'd had all his life about certain milestones for things--marriage, kids, the white picket fence and all that jazz--and throws it all out the window. Because piloting magical sentient lions in a space war is fucking crazy and life is nothing like what he thought and what is important to him reshapes; it isn't the milestones it is the feelings they represent, the security and companionship he is seeking, the fulfillment he can find from interacting with others in different ways. Keith is the opposite; he never thought any of the milestones were important because he assumed they were for other, non-broken people. People--not him--who could have nice things like spouses and houses and children to raise in their image or whatever. And to make a long and introspective story short he gets to hold Lance's hand and suddenly all of those nice things are back on the table and he gets to want them and finds out that he does

I guess this is where it gets fuzzy for me I've seen some things where they space adopt and that's really fun and fresh

Or they wait until they get back to Earth after having the Cool Uncle Era with Lance's nieces and nephews which is my shit i love cool uncle klance

I do think I subscribe to them adopting older children out of the foster system as opposed to however infant adoption works

but any way you slice it Keith is So Pressed About Getting It Right he's reading books he's asking Shiro and then wanting to die because Shiro is So Cringe about his caretaking advice UGH

and Lance is back in a comfy phase about it now that they've decided to do it, regaling Keith when he freaks out with tales of times he and his siblings totally almost died or that crazy shit happened or that his parents did x y z totally sideways--his point being: and look how well it turned out anyway

the important thing is that when they do have children they love them more than anything and demonstrate a positive healthy relationship for them and they try to meet them where they are and also give them opportunities to grow and be happy and therefore it all works out perfect :)

Also as an added bonus here are some of my favorite depictions of dad!Klance for your perusal:

deerstalkerdeathfrisbee's True Love or Something ok these were like my earliest favorite fics ever when I tell you this raised me and reset my brain chemistry I am being so serious. They aren't dadding until later in the series [THIS ONE] but actually the whole thing is so excellent

that,,, actually is the only one coming to mind right now but people SOUND OFF IF YOU HAVE ANY MORE PLS <3 i will return to this post with more if i find any

I hope this was good for you obviously I just stream-of-conscious dumped into the text box but it was super fun to do, if anybody has any other prompting thoughts I would love to ideate more I just,,,, love thinking about them so much,,,, ok everybody have a great day!!

#ask and you shall receive #klance headcanons #dad!klance #klance #vld headcanons #my writing #nobody ever asked me for my thoughts before this is crazy #please somebody ask me something again this was so fun #ok anon ily hope this scratched your itch a little #long post

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marshmallowprotection · 6 months ago

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Hi! Idk if you've done something like this before but if it's okay, could i ask for a comfort from Jumin? My body dysmorphia issues went out of control lately and I'm just having a hard time looking at the mirror without feeling like breaking down and just panic in general. I just want to hide away from the world so no one can judge my body anymore and say nasty shit about the way i look and what i wear or my size whether I'm too big and just ugly

Jumin understands what it feels like to be under scrutiny from the rest of the world. It happens when you grew up the way he did. It's tough out there, even if he doesn't admit it. Of course, he has dealt with it his entire life and the way he has decided to go along with it is to brush it off like it's nothing. That's not healthy but when you came into his life he realized he needed to stop compressing everything down in the bottom of his chest and ignoring it.

Even someone in a place of privilege is allowed to struggle and have insecurities, his consciousness of the situation and how other people have it worse than him is something to be spoken about, but it's just as important to remind him that he's allowed to admit that he needs help sometimes. Your kindness is what has made a difference in that line of thinking.

You can be honest with him when you're having a bad time. Isn't that what you told him? If you're worried about people talking about you behind your back, you don't need to worry about that. Nobody in this world is going to say something ugly about you and get away with it. Sure, he can't stop people from saying what they want to say, but he can stop them from saying things in the public eye.

You are his partner and that means he is committed to you no matter what comes next. He is more than willing to gush about you and Elizabeth. He is that guy who has pictures filling up his wallet to the brim. He loves his family, what can he say?

But don't think he hasn't noticed how you don't like to take pictures and how you avoid mirrors. He's a perceptive man and you knew that when you met him. He's not going to pressure you to talk about something you don't want to talk about, but at the same time, he doesn't want you to waste away and wallow in insecure feelings when it's important to talk about them so you can overcome that feeling. Beating these feelings down is always easier said than done but it gets easier when you have somebody you love.

He's here for you, and if you need to break it down in his arms, go ahead and do it.

Sure, he understands that there are beauty standards in this world that aren't kind to anyone, and seeing how much it eats away at you makes him want to do more for society to put a stop to it all. He doesn't want to see you suffer, and he doesn't want to see anybody else suffer from these feelings of self-loathing.

You shouldn't be surprised when I say that he would talk to Zen about this feeling. Yes, he'll talk to you to find out the core problem that you have to deal with, but this is Jumin we're talking about. Once he has a subject in mind, he's going to do whatever he can to learn as much as he can... and, you know, Zen is overcompensating by complementing himself because words have power.

The more you say something, the more you believe in it, and the more you call yourself beautiful, the more likely you are to put some weight into that value in comparison to calling yourself trash. He is out of his element when it comes to knowing the right thing to say, and he's willing to admit that. He wants to better understand what makes you feel that way and how he can adapt in the moment to help you build your self confidence the way that Zen has built his.

Once he feels more comfortable, he's going to do something about this on a larger scale, but what you need is something at home for you to feel better, and he's the one to make sure that happens soon. He is thoughtful and methodical in the way he approaches you after your bad day. He cups your cheek with his hand and sighs, happy to be home with you, even if you need to sob into his embrace.

"My dear, I understand that my words may not counterbalance or even overcome what you think of yourself. I recognize that these are issues that don't disappear with a few kind words, but I want you to know that you are beautiful, witty, and everything I could have ever hoped for in a partner. Being able to face the world with you at my side brings me confidence... confidence I had not known until I met you and decided to be myself. Your beauty is more than your looks, but I know saying so may feel like I'm trying to avoid calling you the words you fear most, but that is not the case," he'd whisper with love in his eyes.

"Your smile lights up my world. Your hands warm my cold heart to the surface. When I feel the weight of your body lean into my arms, all I can think about is how wonderful it is to know your body intimately. Seeing you waiting for me at the end of the day is all I could ever want and dream of. Your beauty is leagues about what you value in yourself, and I hope one day I can help you see that."

#tw body dysmorphia #drabble #mod kait #ask #mystic messenger #anon #mysme #mysticmessenger #mm #jumin han #han jumin

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pinkfey · 3 months ago

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how you see yourself ｡*.♡

i was tagged by the beloved @rosenfey to do this cute lil meme; tysm ambie!! mwah!! i’m self conscious right now so i’m just going to tag anyone and everyone who sees this!! do it RIGHT NEOW >:3

character ➳ this is well known, but i've felt a profound connection to padmé since i was a child. it's not out of relatability, though, it’s from a deep understanding. (LET THE RECORD SHOW I JUST DELETED A BIG ASS RANT RATTLING OFF THE THINGS I LOVE ABT HER CHARACTER BC IT GOT SO LONG I WOULD’VE NEEDED A READ MORE 😭). i just.. i love her!! i love her. i love her and i’m the only one who gets her.

style ➳ no one is a monolith, but i do gravitate towards softer, more feminine looks. many dresses and skirts in my wardrobe :3 though it is ofc not limited to just that

object ➳ so, earrings are perhaps an odd choice here, but i wanted something to represent my clutter bug!! i love collecting little bits of miscellany, earrings included (and these are very my style; i adore pearls and cute “busy” looking items), because i’m a purveyor of all things meant to make my heart glow a little softer <3

place ➳ i'm a cali baby until i die. i struggled to pick one sole place, so i chose the whole state because it truly is so important to me. it's not just sf and the bay area (my home), but the redwood forests to the east and the beach towns down south and wine country to the north. california's pre and post-colonial history is rich and vast and bits of its geographical beauty have survived in incredible ways. and, despite all of the flaws of this godforsaken state, the cultures here have worth. there are merits and there are good people, you just have to care, and because of that, i don’t think i’ll ever want leave. i don't jump ship because work is simply hard; i want california to be what i know it can be.

animal ➳ otters are my favorite animal, we know this, but too many people have affirmed me as a cocker spaniel/cavalier spaniel over the years, so i had to include it. i think it's the hair texture and general air of prancing about?? i am simply a little lady idk what to tell u!!

song ➳ i chose i'm your man by mitski,,,, 👀👀 i'm in the song, just not as singer’s the point of view, if you catch my meaning. men ruined my life but whatever.

job ➳ though office and archival work is my calling (i was born to organize and file and push trolleys of books and boxes and sit on the computer and be a little secretary), part of me will always feel that being a childcare worker is integral to who i am. i mean, i did it for so many years i loved teaching, i loved nannying, i loved early childhood education studies. i loved being miss jasmine :]

food ➳ burritos are my favorite food ever, but i chose the petit fours because, well, it's me!! it feels like me!! little cakes served on dainty platters accompanied by a sweet drink?? bite sized flavors of rose or chocolate or matcha or vanilla or lavender or raspberry and and and???? exactly. teensy and sweet and delicate and perfect.

color ➳ pink, forever and always. the pink i used for this edit is more vibrant than my favorite shade of pink (blush), but pink is pink so i'm okay with it <33

#hiiiii hi hi hi !!#these kinds of tags are my bread and butter i adore them so much #anyways.txt #tag game #intro

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tessarionbestgirl · 7 months ago

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"Aegon is injured and Aemond may or may not have something to do with the fact". This is what Aemond's actor said regarding ep 5. Therefore, we don't know for sure what Aemond wanted or didn't want to do at Rook's Rest so we are again in for a guessing game. And this is one of my problems with the show. They think they are being oh so mysterious and whatnot with this kind of "storytelling" but the truth is that it's just extremely frustrating. The characters have very little screentime (aemond has less than 3 minutes per episode ffs), a lot of important events are just skipped and what little we see is unclear and ambiguous so I have to guess or create headcanons. Like, sorry, but I'm not interested in this. Idk, this show and everything related to it just leaves me annoyed, confused or even angry. What's your experience regarding this?

I understand the annoyance and frustration over this aspect of the show because big part of my dislike for Fire & Blood comes from exactly that same reason. Is a fake story book that I don't even know if half of it is true or not with countless inconsistencies regarding war events and ambiguities about characters motivations.

And a adaptation can only be to a extension better or worse than the source material. So Ryan and his team, have in hands a complicated situation. I know he says to the public that he approached the material as being green propaganda. But he is lying, a lot of things he does with TB to me are prove of that. A lot of pr for House of the dragon is all about what they want you to believe for now what their intentions are. So if we take a lot of what they say in face value we are being lied to. So any HC you and I could created base on that is just end feeling like a betrayal and pointless.

But the final product speaks for it self more than the actors or Ryan or Sarah. Because they did lay ground for the conclusion of the story to be " in war there is truly never a winner" and one of the core of the story from George idea is to end with you questioning who was the right side or the dance.

They say for exemple the it was recorded dubious if Daemon or Aemond actions are intentional or not. But we also see they feeling guilty over it. S1 had a big discussion on the fandom over Daemon taking Rhaenyra to the brothel was intentionally done to tarnish her honor or not, and this season we see him feeling guilty over it, same with B&C same with Aemond and Luke's situation.

Whatever, if this is intention to adapt the the questionable reality of book or make people speculate who is justified or not. That end up just add to a theme on the show,in witch, is about how the intentions don't matter and will not matter in the end. Viserys all him wanted was have a peaceful family life but as Alicent said "he intentions died with him" and that goes for all characters.

Aemond always felt he deserved the crown more than Aegon, maybe he wanted to hurt his brother but he is willing to pay the price of killing his own brother and become the monster that history eventually will paint him to be? That is what they are trying to say with Heleana asking him that and Alicent growing fear of what her son is becoming.

So I will say that my problem with this subject is way less annoying in the show than in the book and while in part I find fun to speculate over those dubious thing they do, I also feel uncertaint over what they will do with those characters, this season I am very scared of the possible out come for Alicent as character. And I certainly despite the fandom discourse that is generated by the "open in the air" scenes. I think that is the factor that frustrating me the most. Because there was a time where was fun to engage on public conversations about media. But HOtD fandom is so toxic and lack any media literacy that even end up affecting how I sometimes interact with the fandom and watch the show.

And that is a big irony of it all because I sure despite Ryan intensions and how he will end the show. The fandom will not change their mind of who is the true winner/justified and what the story is about.

#house of the dragon #hotd #team green #aemond targaryen #pro aemond targaryen #daemon targeryan #hotd critical #Anti fire & blood #Anti HOtD #anti hotd fandom #Anon ask #anti ryan condal

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dearhaos · 1 year ago

Text

welcome, 2024 !! some messages are longer in the written version below.

as always, i wanted to thank my friends for, well, keeping me alive lol but seriously i say this every single year but you really. made my year. and i'm very grateful for that.

in particular, i'd like to thank my most beloved tuals (twtuals for the most part), thank you for dealing with me on a daily basis, i bet it's not easy !!

// in alphabetical order of the contact names!

[ashie] ; @geumibear

my ribbit !!! we haven’t spoken much this year, but your presence was always, ALWAYS very appreciated!! i’m also very much enjoying the crush saga … in my humble opinion he wants u SO bad ashie. so bad. also, belated congratulations for getting into your chem degree, my whittle alchemist (<- ik that’s not what u are but that’s cute so u hab to accept it sorry) i hope that you always always always remember that i love you very much even when we don’t really talk!! may 2024 bring u crush and uni successes <3 can’t wait to keep up w your adventures this upcoming year as well!!!! lob u

[biebear] ; @marklyluvr

dear bylan p baller! sorry, my BELOVED BIEBEAR <33 we were already pretty good friends (i like to think) but i feel like we’ve gotten much much closer these past few months!! (or is it just me. who knows) . either way i’m really glad for that <3 because idk if u know this (u better. this is a threat.) but i love you a LOT. sorry for making u deal with me recently kjdfksbdk but thank you for hearing me out (and giving me courage also) <3 also thank you for always playing along w me when i say dumb stuff ure so cute i lob u… thank you for always being so nice to me and for being my most beloved villaintual my ohseungtual so important to me what wld i do without u… please be careful on the road!! ure still a whittle biebear so people should let u do whatever u want when ure driving but i have a feeling that they won’t :( i hope that the upcoming year treats you better than this one, i love you!! my cutieful bieloved!! ps. kissie for lillie

[bnuuy / my gabi] ; @yangsminho

my biloved <3 i already said this recently but. i really missed you an awful lot.. an so i’m SO very glad that we’ve been talking a bit more these days <3 u falling for nicho (and subsequently fuma. and) was one of the best things to happen to me this year fr . i kiss u btw . sorry for being so needy and annoying sowwy for targeting u so often when it happens its bc i love u i can’t promise i’ll be less annoying next year hope u understand… also, sure, i only know your internet persona BUT i do love you a whole lot and. this is something i’ve said before but. your internet persona is still a part of You. and i would love you no matter how and where and when i met you, i promise. thank you for being my friend, and i hope we can continue that throughout the upcoming year <3 can’t wait to hunt down nichofuu at the korean clubs w u mwah!!

[founding matthewer / my iri] ; @seokmatthewz

MY IRI WHOM I LOVE my forest witch my cherry fox (og) my shrimptual my elf chef… and most importantly recently my zebitual ofc ofc ofc. founding matthewer. i love you. btw. if u even care. i think this year was a big one for miliri!! got ur twt n subsequently ur discord i feel like i won at life. i guess im also thankful to zebi for existing so i can annoy u more… or i guess ure the one terrorising me most of the time but. as u know. i don’t mind. (also &t i’m so glad u had no other survival show to watch im so glad u decided to subject urself to &audition i love the consequences of that so bad u domt understand) i’m really really glad that we’ve been talking arguably? more this year!! i hope you’re willing to deal with me next year as well!! also excited for the 2024 miliri jesus birthday cafe run, of course!!!!! kdfkjsdnjkd ps. may 2024 bring u all the shrimp of the world. right to ur door. and say miss blue that i love her. and ur honorary catdog also <3

[léksie] ; @possession1981

my léksie whom i love <3 congratulations on your graduation hehe!! things are…….the way they are recently so i feel like we haven’t kept in contact as much as i wish we did this year but i’m glad that you’re still… here, yknow!! i love you very, very, very much and you deserve nothing but all the love in the world!!! 2023 was tough, i know, and i hope that 2024 treats you so so much better… if it doesn’t ill kill the universe actually. i’ll also be crossing my fingers for a potential miléks meetup (<- literally have not discussed this w u seriously but idc i’ll be scheming)(just between lovers marathon!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! when!!!!!!!!!!!) thank you for being such an amazing friend and role model, i really, really care about you and love you a lot.

[loml / my brina] ; @aquablues

MY BRINA LOVE OF MY LIFE MY SUNSHINE MY RAINBOW MY LITTLE TULIP MY BRILOVED MY LITTLE STAR WHO IS SO IMPORTANT TO ME …. MY WORLD …. MY BABRI (baby bri) WHOM I LOVE SOSOOSOSOSOSOSOSOOSOSOSOSOSO MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! this year was a big one for you and i’m so, so, so, so, so, so proud of you always always always!!! i’m SO glad to see that your college life has been treating you well so far i’m genuinely SO happy that you’re having a good time like u dont get it i’m literally tearing up as im writing this?? anyways thank you so much for keeping me (and the rest of us) updated on your uni adventures i really appreciate it!! and as u know i would have been devastated if u just contact w me like i wld be so sad if u ever do that at least give me like a two weeks notice ok thank u… please remember that i love you i adore you i cherish you my brina!!! so much!! i hope you can continue to enjoy your uni experience in 2024 as well (without the annoying u-know-who this time). ps. i still have a jo to send u someday i just think i prob shldnt send it to ur home address considering ur parents??

[megmeg] ; @lunetual

my megmeg my beloved <33 thank you for helping me this year despite being so busie <3 even if we dont really get to talk i’m really really happy to have you in my life!! and thank you for making efforts to keep in touch despite being so busie i love u… i hope we can continue to be friends in the upcoming year hehe <3 ps. give kissies to apollo from me!!

[mr. meoweks] ; @awek-s

dear mr pawminister sir. i hope you’re doing well in this very busy season,, kjsfnksjdnfkksn hello my meoweks whom i meow (love) so so so meowch!! i thiiiiiink we might have gotten a bit closer this year and i’m very happy about that!! ik this year was definitely not easy for you so i hope that 2024 can be a much better year BUT! congratulations (yet again) on getting into ur phd program im sosoosososososososo proud of you genuinely SO proud!!!! i knew you could do it but STILL!! cant wait to be promoting ur anthology entry in the streets <3 also omgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomg……………… meowmeow (aweks millie) meetup i CANT WAIT head in hands im so excited u domt get it meoweks.. also i think its SO cute that u have little bunbuns now wtf tell them that i love them wtf wtf wtf they’re so cute i love them. ps. do tell me if u want me to send u the cappuccino or if u want to wait until u come over!!

[my danderion / my eri] ; @xiaojuun

my beloved eri… what can i say that i havent said yet at the beginning of the month lmao this is the hard part abt u being a december baby it’s like i don’t wanna keep repeating myself but it’s literally only been like 3 weeks. but it’s been. Very busie weeks also. it’s slightly sad to have u so busy (from a selfish standpoint bc … my ewi … i miss my ewi …) but i’m also genuinely very happy for you!! you get to do what you wanted to do where u wanted to!! AND ur not living alone!! u won big time i think!!! im also very very grateful that you’re making efforts to still keep me updated even when you’re so busy, i appreciate it a lot, really :< i love you (you already know this). and. as i said before. i am Very glad to have not a friend Like you, but You As my friend. also i hope u know that i’m taking my wittle pengeri (tuxedo sam) so so many places! in very important 2023 events i am also SO happy (and still so giddy. i am insane. and i love u.) that i got to meet you irl <33 one of my best memories of the year! thank u for being such a cute n nice guide i lob u… i hope 2024 treats you well and that we can !! continue!! to be good friends!! i love you lots <3 i really do. ps. give flo and vika a kithie from me if u can!! and sarabi too, the next time u see her <3 pps. i allowed myself to show my grandma meri christmas pics and she said ure pretty. shes right. btw if u care.

[my ina] ; @flops

MY INA WHOM I LOVE!!! i feel like every year my wishes of getting closer to u get realised !! and u have no idea how happy it makes me!! im also so so happy that u joined us over on twt im so so so glad im so glad u hab no idea im SO happy i can annoy u so much more now thank u so much… (also sorry). thank you for putting up with me and all the annoying things i send u .. its a love language (and for sending me my leo)!! i love you to bits… and yet again, i hope we can get even closer in the upcoming year <3 ps. milina meetup when

[my violet / my vyvy] ; @souladies

MY VYNAIGRETTE!!!!!!!! MY VYONCÉ!!!!!!!!!!! my violet my vyvy my viavy my vyvyney whom i love so so much my little mouse my fluffy cat my beloved fennec fox <3 i feel like we’ve gotten SO insanely closer these past few months?!?! first of all thank you so much for being my beloved dramamate <3 thank you for being okay with me live messaging u my reactions to wifty and piggy king, thank you for agreeing to (re)watch hidden love with me, thank you SO much for experiencing fiys with me, thank you (and paula) so much for welcoming me for that one insane extraordinary you episode, and thank you (and ro!) for watching the killy votey & kidnapping day with me as well!! thank you so much for always making time for me :< i really appreciate it. and more recently, thank you for being my line friend hehe <3 i really love talking to u a LOT !! idk if u can tell . thank you sm for dealing with me skjdnfksdnk i genuinely thought u were going to stop talking to me after that one piggy episode . anyways i hope that 2024 treats you well and that we can continue talking and being friends <3 also i’m very excited for the next vyllie drama, whatever it may be!! ps. tell paquito that i lob him

[pauby] ; @ghiblin

MY PAUBY!!!!!!!!! my capy <3 i lob u so much thank u for always being so cute and so nice to me!!! and thank you for allowing me into the pauney extraordinary you watch that time and for welcoming me so nicely i kithie u … i hope that 2024 treats you vewy nicely (or else!!!!!!!!!!!!!) and that we can continue to be friends <3 ps. tell ur kitty that i said hello pps. pauby to be honest i wld let u :O eat me . honestly

[princess roro] ; @sunghanbin

MY SUNSHINE MY MODEL MY PRINCESS MY BEROVED RORO!!!!!!!!!!! <33 big year for milro i wld say but also i feel like every year is… <3 thank u (and vyvy) for watching killy votey and the kidnapping day with me <3 thank you for being the girl with the prettiest smile ever <3 also just the most beautiful girl ever. i know things have been rough lately and i’m very sorry about that… i hope 2024 can bring you and your family good news! that aside, thank you for being my friend and talking to me and bickering with me and getting me into bonedo and for showing me so much love and for trusting me!! what i’m trying to say is!! i love you!! a lot!! my beroved!! and i hope you are willing to deal with me for another year <3

[puppie !!] ;

MY PUPPIE MY VENVEN MY VEN PARA whom i love. thank you for STILL being friends with me i feel like its been so long…. i don’t really know if you realize this but you’re a extremely important friend to me. genuinely. i think my life would be a lot more miserable without you. thank you for dealing with me despite everything.. amd thamk u for the kitty videos always!! i kissie u <3 i love you <3 i hope that you always remember that and that you Never ever doubt it. may 2024 treat u nicely!!!!!!!!!!! and i hope we can be friends for even longer <3 ps. pls tell my children (phantom max sassa . i feel like im forgetting someone if i am im sorry i am on my knees repenting) that i love them!!

additionally, thank you to my other mutuals that have spent this year with me!! my miha (@jaebeomtual) and lili (@ninqz) who have been so sweet ; my sarah (@wabisaba), my rosie (@kimjiwoong), my beluluved (@fushigojos), my sofsof (@yeofi), luna (@yunwooz), and my dee (@ryudaeng), who have been with me for a While now and stuck with me despite us not interacting much this year ; rachie (@gnanii) and mary (@dongkwan) whose contribution to the eri project i'm very grateful for (and they're amazing just in general as well but) ; as well as vivi (@moonsua) who's a beloved twtual <3

and a special thanks to paquito and lavender ; phantom, sassa and max ; miss blue and iri's woof ; paula's cat ; eri's woofs whose names i forgot i am so sorry... & bestinez and sarabi, bestie j & ellis and florence and vika ; apollo ; lillie ; gabi's many many many animals ; grimm ; sammy and ashy ; brina's friend group. for being around my beloveds and for all the stories (amd cute pictures) involving them !!

as well as jinsung coming back bc this is my post and i can be insane <3 as a treat <3

credits!! [icons] // [ash pfp] // [bie pfp] // [gabi pfp] // [iri pfp] // [aléks pfp] // [brina pfp] // [meg pfp] // [aweks pfp] // [eri pfp] // [ina pfp] // [vy pfp] // [paula pfp] // [ro pfp] // [ven pfp]

#*mine #hi im one hour n a half late approximately . miwi time. but happy new year.... i love u

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