#and I can’t even get myself to look at a college website

[courtingchaos]

.

[ladykailitha]

Royal Pain Part 3

Hello! I was going to post this yesterday but I thought I would be busier for WIP Wednesday which only two people participated in (sad author noises). And then I was waffling about putting up a meta about Steve’s parents (I ended up just saving it in my ‘bit of everything’ file). And then I realized it was super late and should put this up before I forget again.

This next part is for @weirdandabsurd42  who mentioned being excited to see Wayne and was thusly added (because I almost forgot to put him there, oops!), thereby creating one of my favorite lines I’ve ever written so...thanks! 

Part 1 Part 2

***

Steve closed up his shop with a spring in his step and a grumpy Robin following behind.

“I can’t believe you are dragging me to a metal concert,” she groused as she locked the door behind her.

“You don’t have to come,” Steve said with a grin. “You can stay home on a Saturday, all by yourself with a pint of ice cream and the latest rom-com.”

Robin glared at him. “You know that I have to come with you so you don’t throw yourself at Eddie.”

Steve rolled his eyes as they walked to his car. “I’m not going to throw myself at him.”

Robin clutched her hands to her chest. “Oh that’s right I forgot! You already have!”

Steve glared at her. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“No?” she asked, sliding into the car. “So what do you call offering to do his back tattoo?”

Steve already in the car, hit his head on his steering wheel. “Fucccckkkk.” He hit it over and over. “Why did I do that? Why did he agree? What am I going to do?”

Robin rubbed his back. “I think this is good thing for you. If you do well on his wings then you can start doing large pieces again. And if not, then you know it’s not something you can do and you’ll never do another one ever again.”

Steve sighed and wrapped his arms around the steering wheel. “I just wanted him to like me.”

“As person, as friend or as a boyfriend?” Robin asked seriously.

“All of the above?” Steve said raising his head to look at her. “Apparently the first one has been met. I’d take the second one, but I would love the last one more than anything.”

“Well this weekend will be a great opportunity to test the waters and see how he feels. Because even if he wants to be friends now, there’s still a chance he might want something more in the future. Just don’t bank on it.”

Steve nodded. “Yeah.” He took a deep breath. “Yeah, okay.” He turned the key and pulled out of their parking lot.

“This would be a good time to get a couple of apprentices of your own,” she said after a few miles of silence. “You’re going to be spending a lot of hours on Eddie’s tattoo and you’re going to need someone to pick up the slack.”

Steve let out a shuddering sigh. “I know. I’ll start putting out feelers in the community and see what’s out there.”

Robin nodded. “We’ll put up filers at the local colleges and universities as well as putting it up on our website. I’ll talk to Will and see what he can come up with for both.”

“I know he’ll turn it down but offer him the usual rates for that sort of thing,” Steve agreed.

Robin laughed. “Fingers crossed he’ll accept this time.”

*

Eddie walked into his apartment and flopped face first into his couch. It had been such a whirlwind day. He wasn’t even sure he could function. That really was the downside to having a full time gig. Having all this free time.

Because yeah, Eddie and the rest of Corroded Coffin practiced nearly every day, and they were always coming up with new music, it just wasn’t the same as full time job. He didn’t have to do anything but show up and perform two nights a week. He could phone it in if he wanted.

Not that he would. Just...that he could. Which meant on days when his head was spiraling he could stew for days and never leave this couch.

He rolled over and pulled out his phone and dialed that familiar number.

“Munson residence!” came the gruff familiar voice.

“When are you going to at least get a caller ID, old man!” Eddie crowed.

“Shut it, boy,” Wayne growled. “I have one and it works just fine, the greeting is polite. Something I thought I raised you better in.”

Eddie giggled. “You love me.”

“Lord help me, but I do,” Wayne agreed. “You calling to talk or to listen?”

It was something that they had established long before Eddie left Hawkins to live on his own in the big city. Long before before Eddie took three years to graduate. Long before Al Munson abandoned his son on his baby brother’s door step for one last job. A job that would land him in prison. They had this code. Well, not really a code.

Just this thing between them. When Eddie had a rough day, he would call Wayne. But depending on the swirling of emotions going through his head, sometimes he just need to hear Wayne talk about his day. Gossip about his neighbors. Let the words flow over him until he felt at ease enough to go to sleep.

Other nights, though. The really bad ones. The ones where Eddie needed advice, he would talk. Sometimes Eddie would figure it out on his own, other times he would need Wayne to give him advice. This was one of those nights.

“Talk,” Eddie breathed, pinching the bridge of his nose.

“Wha’cha got, Ed?” Wayne asked gently.

And Eddie just let it all spill out. The tattoos, Steve, the band, feeling like they had stagnated.

“That’s a lot on your plate, boy,” Wayne said. “I can see why you wanted to share.”

Eddie let out a shuddering sigh. “I don’t know what to do about...well any of it to be honest.”

Wayne hummed. “When was the last time you went out and did something fun? Something for just yourself? And don’t say get a tattoo because that’s part of the tangled mess right now.”

Eddie blinked. When was the last time he had gone out for drinks, saw a movie, or even listened to music other than his own? “I’m not sure.”

“Well there you go,” Wayne said. “Creativity isn’t endless, boy. It’s a well and you’re going through a drought because you aren’t taking in any influences other then that feedback loop you’re on.”

“Oh.”

“It doesn’t have to be with your friends or even that boy you’ve got your eye on,” Wayne explained. “Just go out and have fun for yourself, ya hear?”

“Yeah,” Eddie said, already feeling lighter. “Thanks, Uncle Wayne.”

“Rest well, okay?” Wayne murmured.

“You too.”

*

Jeff shook his head and rolled his eyes as he watched Eddie play with his rings, his knee bouncing up and down.

“Chill!” Gareth growled. “For fuck’s sake. We are professionals, we’ve done this twice a week for years. What’s got your panties in a twist this time?”

Jeff wagged his eyebrows. “This time pretty boy Steve Harrington is going to be in the crowd. With a girl no less.”

“She’s gay,” Eddie bit out. “A literal flaming lesbian. I just have to pass the best friend test with her. And considering she wanted me to get his number, I’m pretty sure I don’t have to work that hard.”

“I noticed you didn’t deny that you’re nervous about Pretty Boy being in the audience tonight,” Brian teased.

Eddie threw up his hands in the air and leapt to his feet. “All right, yeah. I’m nervous. Even when I did have boyfriends that would show up, I knew they liked the music. But I have no idea if Steve is just being nice or if he’s actually interested in hearing us play.”

Jeff cocked his head. “Yeah, I can see how you might be worried he won’t like it. But if he doesn’t, isn’t better you know that now, before your feelings get in too deep?”

Eddie’s lip quivered. “Yes. I mean, of course. But it still makes me feel like crawling out of my skin, okay?”

“Okay,” Gareth said. “So do what you do best and throw yourself into the music. Let it wash over you. You are a consummate performer. So kick ass.”

Eddie nodded and the nod slowly turned into a head bang with him playing air guitar. By the time the knock came to let them know it was time, Eddie was ready to go out there and rock.

*

Steve hadn’t been to The Nightmare Holes before. It hadn’t even been on his radar at all. That was so weird, especially since it was almost literally doors down from Robin and his favorite club.

Well that was until they were dropped off in front of a large concrete building that didn’t look like a bar from the outside at any stretch of the imagination. In fact the only thing that stuck out at all was a neon sign with a large arrow pointing to a set of stairs leading down proclaiming this to be The Nightmare Holes.

When they got into the bar, Steve realized that they were going to stick out like a sore thumb. With Steve looking prep and Robin looking punk, they were going to be murdered before Eddie even got on stage.

They were saved by a goddess if you believed Robin later. This pretty woman in a tank top and tight leather pants with four inch heeled boots came up to them.

“Hey!” she greeted warmly. “You must be Stevie, right?”

Steve nodded. “I’m afraid you’re one up on me. You know me, but I don’t know you.”

She smiled much to Robin’s chagrin. “I’m Miranda, girlfriend of the rhythm guitarist, Jeff Lawrence. He was worried that Eddie might have forgotten to tell you that wearing your usual clothes might make you stand out.” She waved her hands at them. Both Robin and Steve blushed. “You aren’t too bad actually. I was think you would be much worse the way Jeff was going on.”

“He only saw us at work,” Robin explained once she picked her jaw up off the ground. “He might have assumed that we wear that on the regular.”

Miranda nodded. “You can do this one of two ways. Stay dressed as you are as big middle finger to conformity no matter who’s conforming to what or you come with me and I can tweak your looks enough that you don’t stand out as much.”

Steve looked down at his clothes and tilted his head. “I think I’m going to give conformity the middle finger, thanks. I’ve been bucking what people think a tattoo artist should look like for years. I’m not going to change that for one little concert.”

Miranda nodded appreciatively. “Good on you. How about you, princess? You gonna give conformity the middle finger, too?”

Robin looked down at her clothes and blushed. “I think most metalheads would say a punk is being a step too far.”

Miranda laughed. “You’re probably right. Let’s go see if I can metal you up a bit.”

The two ladies came back a few minutes later. Robin still had her chunky jewelry and smudged makeup. But her billowy plaid pants were replaced by tight black jeans and instead of her vest, she wore a black jacket. Her hair had been tamed to a more relaxed style.

Steve grinned at her. “Looking good, Robs!”

Robin blushed. “I made a new friend.”

Miranda laughed. “Thanks for that.” She looked around and then leaned forward conspiratorially. “Just a little secret between us new besties.”

Steve and Robin shared a glance, but both nodded.

“I don’t like metal music, either,” she whispered and winked. She turned around so she faced the stage. “But I’m here because my Jeffie does. So if you don’t like the music, because hey, you might not, don’t sweat it. They put on a good show and we’re here for them.” She jutted her chin up at the stage just as the house lights went down and the stage lights went up.

Standing the spotlight was Eddie. He wore a slashed up band shirt, tight jeans, and his leather jacket. A jacket Steve was about to learn wasn’t going to feature long. About twenty minutes into the show, the jacket was gone and Steve could see a peek of the new tattoo through the slits in the shirt.

He licked his lips slowly. Ooh...that was tantalizing. And then Eddie threw caution and his shirt to the wind and everyone saw Eddie’s new tattoo.

Robin turned to Steve wide-eyed. “Holy shit, it blends seamlessly into the rest of the tattoos, like it was there first.”

Miranda peered around Robin to look at Steve, too. “Yeah, man. You did a hell of a job. You should be proud of that.”

Steve was. No doubt. But he was prouder of the fact that Eddie wanted everyone to see it. It melted his heart and settled at the base of his spine, like he had drank a cup of hot chocolate all at once.

And that was when Steve realized he would do anything for Eddie. Even if that meant just being friends.

***

My new favorite line? * “Lord help me, but I do,” Wayne agreed. “You calling to talk or to listen?” * It’s just so...Wayne, you know?

Part 4  Part 5 Part 6  Part 7  Part 8  Part 9  Part 10  Part 11 Part 12  Part 13 Part 14  Part 15  Part 16 Part 17  Part 18 Part 19  Part 20  Part 21 Part 22  Part 23  Part 24  Part 25 Part 26  Part 27  Part 28  Epilogue

Tag List: @spectrum-spectre @estrellami-1 @zerokrox-blog @artiststarme @swimmingbirdrunningrock @gregre369 @pyrohonk @renaissan-vvitch @goodolefashionedloverboi @chaoticlovingdreamer @maya-custodios-dionach @messrs-weasley @val-from-lawrence @plyerice27 @thedragonsaunt @chaoticlovingdreamer @sapphirecobalt-1 @a-little-unsteddie @i-must-potato @danili666  @carlyv @rozzieroos @wonderland-girl143-blog @itsall-taken @justforthedead89 @emly03 @bookworm0690 @aizawa-emma  @yikes-a-bee @redfreckledwolf @thesuninyaface @bookbinderbitch @littlewildflowerkitten @scheodingers-muppet @archermightbegay @hallucinatedjosten 

[b0tster]

ever since coming out, i’ve had a very difficult time inserting myself into the lgbt community, specifically the trans community. i don’t know why; i’ve just never felt like i belong in any specific place, like i’m not good enough or look “proper” enough to take part. i’m not sure if that’s rooted in how isolated i was a kid and teenager just trying to to sort through this stuff. but i can’t be that way any more, and i guess in seeking to view myself as more “valid” i’ve gone through a lot of personal changes. and despite my internalized feelings towards myself from my childhood and parents and society at the time, i’ve come to love and accept myself for the project that i am.

i guess i just wanted to get that out since we’re all doing this.

to the anon, i just want to say: i was in a similar situation for years and years. i first started questioning myself when i was a child. it got worse as i got older. eventually i learned to just shove it down and ignore it. as i got older though, and grew more autonomous, and grew as a person, i realized that those feelings never went away. and from 19-25, i just kept crushing them down, but every time took more and more out of me.

i came out to my sister in tears at like 12:30am in the office of my workplace. her response? “yeah no that checks out for you.”

i’ve never been more relieved or angry, or laughed so hard, at a response, but that was the push over the edge i needed. and i don’t want you to think any of us are directly telling you that you are trans, you should transition, blah blah blah.

i have a lot of regrets about how i handled my transition. i wish i had access to more information in the 90s and 00s. i wish i had people like those that are all over this website, encouraging me to look inside myself to see what was going on. i wish i had had all of you incredible people to talk to. i spent the better part of 26 years denying who i was because i was afraid of what it might mean, and because i didn’t have any base of knowledge to understand any of my feelings. i felt alone and isolated, in that tiny ass rural town in virginia. it wasn’t until i got to college that i really saw people like me, and even then i was too intimidated, too afraid to approach or talk to them.

anon, my only real advice to you would just be to talk. find people to talk to. talk to yourself if you have to. if you think they’re steps you want to take? give them a shot. you can always stop if it doesn’t jive with you.

i started transitioning at 28. i lost my hrt a year and a half later. i just got it back a month ago, and now at 31, i’m back at square one.

my biggest regret will always be, that i didn’t give myself the chance to be myself sooner. don’t rob yourself of that chance, anon, by hiding your light under a bushel. we’ll all be around. talk to us. talk to everyone you can, and you’ll learn a little more about yourself each time. i just wish someone had told me that sooner.

love all of you guys. 💜. thank you for giving me a place to put this, botster, and thank you anon and botster for giving me an excuse to share my story.

Thank you so much for your kind words. I don't even know how to properly respond to this 🥺

I know its not fully directed at me though. But this shows how important it is to be out and proud for those who are willing.

Having a platform where people feel safe enough to ask these questions is so important.

[madsworld15]

Letter to Gavin Creel

Dear Gavin,

I was in the middle of a major website project at work on Monday when I heard that you had passed away. For the first time in my life, I actually sobbed hysterically at the death of someone famous. When I say sobbed hysterically, I mean unable to focus on anything because my eyes were too wet and my chest was too tight. I hadn’t cried like this since the day my grandmother died four years ago.

You see, I don't usually get this visibly upset when people in the public sphere pass away. Sure, I was sad when people like Sondheim, Betty White, and Robin Williams died. But I've never been so upset that I couldn't function. That is just your impact on the world, for me and so many others.

The last time I saw you in person was in 2017 at the stage door of She Loves Me. Despite it having been years since then, I believe that if we’d met at a stage door or other event today, you’d still recognize me. Because that is the type of person you are. I guess were, now that you’ve passed, but I can’t find it in myself to talk of you in the past tense. It just doesn’t seem real that someone so full of life and immortal is no longer here with us, dancing through this thing called life.

You don’t know this, but I got to see you perform in my favorite musical, Into the Woods, when the tour came to Philadelphia in April of last year. It was a last-minute decision that fell on a weeknight, so I couldn’t stay late afterward to stage door. Of course, I thought to myself that I’d have plenty more opportunities to see you work your craft. Now that you’ve passed, I wish I had said “fuck it” to having to be at work the next day and stayed to chat with you.

Like so many of those who looked up to and admired you, I first discovered you when I was in HS watching Eloise at the Plaza. As a child, I had adored the Eloise books, so naturally, I was excited to see a film made about the precocious girl. Back then I had no idea who you were, just that your name was attached to the character of Bill. I adored Bill and his silly, over-the-top theatrics and became obsessed with watching the movie just for him – though Eloise was great, too.

Then, as a freshman in college, I started talking to this person from New York City through a mutual fan group on Facebook. She encouraged my very limited knowledge of musical theatre and introduced me to so many new things. One of them was a bootleg recording of Hair from 2009. The energy you exuded on stage was palpable, even from the grainy 2000s video.

At that point in my life, I was sure I would never get out of Kansas. I knew I was different and didn't fit in with the other people in my small-town Kansas community. By the time I left and moved to NY in 2013, I still wasn't sure what my identity was, but I was certain I belonged to the queer community. Upon arriving in New York, I quickly found myself immersed in the musical theatre community there.

One of the first shows I saw was The Book of Mormon. I would visit the theatre at least once a week, sometimes even twice. I didn't really have the finances to do that, but my mental health demanded comfort, and that show was where I found it. So, once or twice a week, I would play the lottery or do standing room.

By the time you moved from The Book of Mormon on the West End to Broadway, I was ready for you but also hesitant to love you because your predecessor, Nic Rouleau, had had such a profound impact on my mental health and self-worth. From the moment I met you, though, I knew I could never have any feelings other than love for you.

Sure, I already knew I loved you as a performer from the years of watching bootlegs of your performances, listening to your EPs, and loving you in Eloise. However, my connection and attachment to The Book of Mormon was so great that each time the leads switched, I had a hard time adjusting.

It was different with you, though. You immediately took me under your wing and made me know I was important to you. That first night, you forced me to hand over my phone for our photo, and you scrolled through filters until you found the one you wanted. Then you insisted we do silly faces, that serious faces weren't needed. It was as if you knew I needed comfort more than a professional stage door selfie.

Over the course of the year you were part of the Broadway company, we interacted many times. Every time you saw me, your face would light up, you'd insist on a silly photo, and then you'd ask me if I was doing okay and how work was going. You genuinely wanted to know. It was something that got me through those extremely dark days of working a job I hated but not knowing any other path I could go on.

I didn't ever tell you this, but those moments kept my suicidal thoughts during that time at bay. Knowing I could swing by the stage door at any time, whether I'd seen the show or not, and talk to you was what got me through. We never talked about anything profound or world-changing, but you asking me about my day and encouraging me to find my passion changed my whole life.

After you left Mormon, I didn't see you again until the final days of She Loves Me. I fully expected you to not remember who I was, but you did. Once again, your smile grew at the sight of me, and you made a joke while wiggling your face to emphasize the mustache on your face. I wish I'd taken more time to tell you about my life that day. To connect more with you, but I didn't.

I had no way of knowing that would be the last time I would see you perform for many years. Not long after that, my finances took a major hit, and I moved to NJ, making trips to Broadway a bit harder to accomplish. So, I wasn't able to see you in Waitress or Hello, Dolly. But, man, did I want to. I did have the chance to watch clips of you in these shows and bask in the glory of your singing voice and stage presence, even if it was from afar.

I started to understand myself more clearly and made friends who helped me find an identity that made sense to me. Then, 2020 hit, and I suffered quite a few losses in my family. I struggled to keep my head above water, but my queer friends reminded me that there were things worth living for. Through these friendships, I started to find my way out of the mess I was in and found joy in musical theatre again. I started to listening to your personal music and the cast albums of your shows. It wasn't the only music I listened to, but it helped me get through the most.

Then, Into the Woods happened. By this time, I had started to be a co-leader in a local Tri-State Queer group. We would all get together and talk about TV, Broadway, Music, and Movies. It was so rejuvenating. A group of us got tickets to see Into the Woods on Broadway, but I couldn't be part of that due to finances. However, my best friend works for Ticket Philadelphia, so he promised that I could go with him when it came to Philadelphia on tour.

And that brings us to the close of this letter. I got to see you exude that joy all over the stage one last time in Into the Woods on Tour. It was one of the best nights of my life. Your performance of Agony will live on in my memories forever. As will your performance of I Believe in The Book of Mormon.

I never got around to telling you this in person, so I will say it now: Thank you so much for all the moments in my life that your presence or your voice got me through. Your passion for life and love was always awe-inspiring, and it's what I will carry with me through the years. We all deserved to see you do so much more in the world of Broadway, musical theatre, and beyond. Life truly is unfair, but I'm grateful for what I was able to experience with you.

Rest easy, dance often, and spread your sunshine from the beyond.

Mads

[hpdfag]

IM SO HAPPY YOURE DOING BETTER!!! I’ve always been rotting for you from far away, and I’m so glad to see it happen…I hope our interactions contributed to that nice state of yours :} good luck with all of that! I also can’t grasp how you’re going to college ngl…I won’t go to uni for another four years even if I’m your age because of the school system here and stuff so it’s just so interesting to me!

(Here in Italy you go to uni at 19/20, strangely)

I checked out your website and it looks sweet,,,I’m not very info informatics and computer-y stuff anymore but i was super obsessed with that stuff in the past! I hope you’re able to finish it <3 to me it’s like making a carrd so I can’t fathom how difficult it would be, but it feels very old internet-y and silly for now! Good luck, really.

I’m also really happy you’re with your family more! It’s so nice to feel connected to them…there’s a self fulfilling feeling that comes to me whenever I manage to be with my family, myself.

This update is so good to hear and it really brings a smile to my face, thank you for always taking the time to answer me and create this little connection :}

- 🧶

ooo thats rlly interesting !!! im probably gonna skip a year before going to college anyways, since i need time to get a job so im not in Too much debt .. so ill probably be 19 when going into college myself !! i just need 2 power thru this year ... then i'll be off !! the goal rn is to major in computer science and minor in japanese :] since i wanna make games for a living and well. japanese is such an interesting language and while it wldnt be as useful career wise as like spanish or smthn i dont want 2 only make life decisions based on career viability ... i wanna have fun !!

and they really have, it's always nice talking w/ u guys !! it means a lot that uve been rooting fr me, truly :]

hehe thank u thank u ... i hope so too !!! im working on moving away from the template i started with, it's a lot of work figuring it all out but im having a blast, coding is a pain in the ass but once u get the hang of it its so cool seeing what uve been working on coming together all nicely :D html is generally an easier language to learn than something like javascript or python, since it's much more immediately readable. it has a lot less potential than those two, but it doesnt necessarily need to be the most complex thing in the world! u can still get a lot out of it, and most things tht i dont understand immediately i can usually infer what theyre Supposed 2 do and tht makes it a lot easier. much less math too LMAOAOAOA

and of course, even if i don't reply right away i always want to reply to you, it's lovely being able to have a connection like this :] i hope you're doing well !!

[stellahikaru]

State of The Starry Path Hotel #1 (February 9th, 2024)

Hello everyone! Stella Hikaru here! Welcome to my first Tumblr blog post! In order to hold myself accountable and document my content creation journey, I decided to make a weekly long form post on Tumblr about my path on becoming a Vtuber. Why Tumblr? Well it’s because a) I can’t afford a custom website at the moment, plus I would have to use another site to direct traffic to it anyway, b) Twitter, the main hub for Vtubers, has a character limit and I don’t want to make like 50 tweets in a row once per week, my ADHD ass can’t handle that, and c) I just want to do it on Tumblr okay? Weekly posts will be every Friday and I might do roundups at the end of the month and year (I haven’t fully decided yet). My main goal is to look back on these posts someday and see how far I’ve come in bringing up The Starry Path Hotel.

Anyway, here’s what the general format is going to be:

Mini Life Update

This is where I’m going to touch on a little bit of what’s going on in my life when I’m not running the hotel and how it impacts my content creation process. 

Content Creation Progress Update

This is where I’ll post any updates about what I am up to content wise and what goals I accomplished. This could be anything from Youtube videos to updates on commissions I requested to the creation of new accounts. 

This Week’s Goals

The goals that I’ll have for the week. These will be smaller, more achievable goals that will either build up to the monthly goals or be standalone 

This Month’s Goals 

The goals that I’ll have for the month. The weekly goals will mainly build up to these. 

This Year’s Goals 

These are the goals that I have for the year. These will be longer term goals that most of the weekly and monthly goals will build up to.

Final Thoughts

Basically going to be a final roundup on this week’s post and how I’m feeling about what I want to do this week. 

I may add or change stuff depending on what works and what doesn’t but this is what I’m going to stick with for now. With that bit of housekeeping on the way, here’s the first week’s blog post!

Mini Life Update

I’m currently in my final semester of college and I am taking SIX classes this semester including a very time consuming capstone class plus I have to stay on top of my extracurriculars. One might say that trying to become a Vtuber was a bad idea but I’m too stubborn to give up now! We’re starting to get into the busy point of the semester and schoolwork is taking up a LOT of my time. I don’t even have time to play FFXIV anymore. ;-; Hopefully I can get the Valentine’s Day event emote though! Anyway with school taking priority, I don’t have a lot of time for Vtuber activities. So far I’m only able to stream once a week but since Twitch’s discoverability is crap and my VODs are only saved for seven days, your girl isn’t growing as much as she would like. But hopefully that changes soon!

Content Creation Progress Update

Since this is my first post, I’m going to include some stuff that I have been up to for the past few weeks. First, I have been streaming every Saturday at 2 PM EST on Twitch. You can find the link for my Twitch on the Social Media Page of my Tumblr blog. So far I have been doing coworking/chatting for part of the stream and then playing games after a couple of hours. I’ve been playing Cult of the Lamb on stream and having a lot of fun! 

The next major update is that I commissioned a chibi Vtuber model! While my current model looks fine, I want to upgrade from a Vroid model. However, as a college student with basically no income, there’s no way I can spend a few thousand dollars on an updated character design and full Live2D model. So I managed to find an artist doing chibi Live2D models and commissioned them using the I don’t know when I will have it but I hopefully should be ready to reveal it in mid-March.

Now onto the goals!

This Week’s Goals

Make a VOD channel for my Twitch VODs and upload my VODs to that channel: I was on the fence of if I wanted to simply upload my Twitch VODs on my main channel or create a separate channel just for Twitch VODs and upload them there. After weighing the pros and cons of each option, I decided to make a separate channel. This week, I will make a different channel and upload all of my past VODs on there as well as any Twitch VODs going forward.

Make a Carrd for Twitter and Bluesky: While I can easily link all of my social media on Twitch, YouTube, and Tumblr, I can’t do the same for Twitter and Bluesky due to the character limit. I want to make a Carrd for myself to use for those two sites and put the links in my bio this week.

Brainstorm for YouTube videos and choose an idea for the 1st one: I’m hoping to make one YouTube video this month and this week I need to choose an idea so I can start scripting. I’m also going to brainstorm ideas that I can use for future YouTube videos this week.

 This Month’s Goals 

Make 1 YouTube video: I want to make YouTube content that isn’t just Twitch highlights (nothing wrong with that kind of content, I just want to make something different) so this is one of the main goals I have for myself this month! I don’t know what it will be about but I’ll post more about it in future blog posts.

Look into ways to take donations: While I am waiting to get monetized on YouTube and Twitch, I would like to have a way for people to financially support me if they choose to do so. This month, I will be comparing different sites for one time donations (i.e. PayPal, Ko-Fi) and choosing which one would suit my needs.

Continue streaming once per week and try to do guerilla streams: As I stated, I currently stream once per week on Saturdays and I want to maintain this consistency. However, I want to see if I can do some guerilla streams during the week since I will need to stream on 7 different days in a 30 day period to get Affiliate on Twitch and with my current schedule, I fall short of the requirements. 

This Year’s Goals 

Get monetized on YouTube: I want to eventually make money off of my content so I’m hoping to get monetized on YouTube this year. This is going to be a tall order, but I hope I can keep working towards this with my weekly and monthly goals!

Become an Affiliate on Twitch: I think this goal is a bit more achievable compared to getting monetized on YouTube but I still need to meet the requirements. I will also be working towards this with my weekly and monthly goals! 

Gain 100 followers on any social media besides YouTube or Twitch: I actually am over halfway to 100 followers on Twitter as of writing this, but I still don’t get a ton of engagement on my post. In addition, most of the followers I have gotten are those annoying GFX bots and it’s a little bit disheartening. I also want to build up a following on Tumblr and Bluesky as well! 

Make a community Discord server: Once I build up a community, I want to create a Discord server for people to hang out in. However, I want to wait until there is a demand for a Discord server. This goal is lower priority compared to the other goals but I hope that this does end up happening this year!

Final Thoughts

If you read through the entirety of this post, THANK YOU! Future posts will hopefully be more concise (I spent WAY too long writing this) but I am making no promises. I hope that I finish all of the goals that I set out this week! Now I gotta finish the assignment that’s due tonight that I definitely did not put off doing to write this post, haha.

If you like what you see, make sure to reblog this post and follow me! I would also appreciate it if you follow me on my other social media, especially on Twitch and YouTube! I will be streaming on Twitch tomorrow at 2 PM EST! I hope your stay was bright and your journey is filled with light!

[morvantmortuary]

Sorry to hear you've had a rough day. Sending you good vibes and virtual hugs 🖤🖤🖤

thank you for this, darling, I super appreciate you thinking of me 🥰

some of it was honestly funny in hindsight? like, the two campus buses I have to take to get to work somehow stretched my commute into an hour each way

…I live ten minutes from my office 🙃

then I sent this job listing I really liked to the director of our professionalization committee for this year, which I knew wasn’t my exact specialization but I have other circumstances that made me think it would work, only for the director to explain I would be a super duper long shot (if I was considered at all) bc they’re actually looking for an MFA student but they didn’t outright say it in the listing

did I mention I switched to applying for my phd five years ago even though I originally wanted an mfa, I somehow thought a phd would be more practical

so then I went looking through all the job app websites I’m signed up for, and while I found a lot of openings for other specializations (ukrainian lit, italian lit, pre-1000 bce), I found maybe one or two for what’s considered the most general application of what I do

and they were both for military academies :’D which I really, uh, don’t want to work at

so then I was like “okay, boot and rally, it’s gonna be fine, let’s just finally get the committee together” and sent out an email being like “hey guys we still haven’t decided on a date to meet and it’s like month 2 of the semester, how about [x day]” bc I’m feeling really unsteady about my dissertation and I’m under a lot of pressure from my dad to finish as soon as possible, so I’ve been trying to get ahold of them for weeks now it feels like

only for my new chair to immediately be like “nope sry”

so then I got home (an hour later) (I still only live ten minutes away) and realized that I think my best friend since I was little forgot to send me a birthday present when she usually always remembers

which she’s not obligated to do obviously, we’re both adults and she’s had some stuff going on, but between that and the fact that the two friends whom I supported through their dissertation/defense periods have just, like, left - one is on the other side of the world, one might as well be - I just got feeling very lonely :’D as much as I love all my friends in my phone, it’s just kind of hard sometimes in meatspace. no one else in my family has been to graduate school before (hell, I’m the second person in my immediate family to graduate from college and the first to not fail out temporarily in the process) and sometimes I feel weird talking to my non-grad irl friends bc they treat me like I’m still in college/don’t have a real job yet (they don’t mean to, it’s just how people think of grad school in the states), so. yeah.

…and then the scary possession movie I rented to feel better turned out to be a conservative religious propaganda movie in disguise, which was just the cherry on top

(that’s the last time I rent a movie without checking imdb first)

but then the next day was better: my committee chair swung by my desk himself (we work across the hall from one another) and hung out and talked me through some of my biggest worries for a bit (and even said he liked my chapter, which was amazing bc I was afraid it was hot garbage), and my boss was really nice and gave me some cake balls from the local bakery for a belated birthday present (I can’t eat them due to food allergies but the thought counts!!), and I actually drove myself to work instead of taking one of the buses, which shouldn’t be a big deal but is for me bc I hate driving anywhere after a bad accident I had a few years ago :’D then my committee members emailed me like “hey how about next week!!” and I was like “oh phew okay” and found out one of them hasn’t been avoiding me, he’s just on teaching leave for the semester lmao (he’d sent me comments first and I hadn’t seen him since, so I was like “omg was it that bad” even though his comments were fairly chill) so I guess my lesson for the week is that I just need to be patient and let things work out

…then this morning I woke up with a migraine :’D but it’s not the worst one I’ve had so far, so. it evens out I guess!!

anyway, sorry to hurgle all this at you after your super nice ask, it’s just been A Lot. if you read this far, you’re a saint and I love you 😂🖤

cheers to the rest of this week looking better!! hopefully!!! knock on wood!!!

[mysimsloveaffair]

It’s cold outside, so we bundle up, and Me-Me shows me a few of her favorite places in Newcrest.

Melisa: This is Founder’s Park. My parents used to bring us here a lot. It’s where my mom chose my dad during the costumed dating challenge.** It’s also where they had their first solo date during the challenge.

Kai: Oh really? That’s pretty cool.

Me-Me leads me to the large fountain in the middle of the park.

Melisa: Jay and Lia used to play in this fountain when our nanny Brock used to bring us here. They’d wait until he went to the restroom, then jump in.

Kai: Just Jay and Lia? Not you?

Melisa: I was too scared of getting in trouble. But they’d have these intense water fights - splashing each other until they were soaking wet from head to toe.

Kai: Did they ever get into trouble?

Melisa: No, Nanny Brock was too nice to really punish them. He’d just give them a look of disapproval - as he’d call it. I was the only one who never got the look.

Kai: The ultimate ‘good girl.’

Melisa: *chuckles* Yeah, I guess so. But when I went to college, I wanted desperately to change my ‘good girl’ image, so I went and got this nose piercing. Of course, it didn’t change much; I was still me - just with a nose ring.

Kai: I can relate. I was always the rule follower too. When I was in high school, my friends and I went to this out-of-town music festival** - I can’t believe I never told you this, but they didn’t want to stay there. So they decided to sneak off with fake IDs to a bar. I ended up staying at the festival all by myself. It was slightly humiliating.

Melisa: Aww, poor Kaby. *laughs* I would have done the same thing, though.

Me-Me’s laughter reaches her eyes, making them even prettier than they usually are. I’m enjoying every minute of this time alone with her. It reminds me of why I fell in love with her in the first place.

**Links will take you to my WordPress Website

(Full post available to read on my website)

[waveymind]

Tips from a (former) GIS Undergraduate Student to other GIS students

Reuploaded since reddit mods haven't got back to my message and reddit's spam filter is removing it no matter where i post it...

I have graduated from college (wooo!) and wanted to share advice that helped me out. I hope you find it useful!

Volunteer to boost your resume or if you lack GIS work experience

When I first started my GIS major, I wanted to get work experience alongside my classes. The thing was I began my degree when Covid started, so landing a GIS internship when most organizations were laying off people was not realistic.

I knew I needed something on my resume so I decided volunteering was the best way to go.

I googled ‘GIS volunteer opportunities’, saw a listing through United Nation’s volunteer portal, and got something pretty quickly. It was an online position that I did on my own time for 6 months. It was very fun! I highly recommend any Geography student do some type of GIS volunteer work before you graduate.

As of writing this post, I checked the website and it looks like the UN doesn’t have any positions listed but there is a website dedicated to GIS volunteer positions:

https://www.giscorps.org/become-a-volunteer/

Also, every job interview I had has always asked me about this volunteer role lol.

Speaking of jobs….

Make a GIS Portfolio

Start a portfolio NOW. Add anything you created from your courses to it! A GIS portfolio makes you stand out from the competition when applying to internships/jobs, and may even be required for some job applications.

This is a VERY detailed video about what it should include (Yes it’s an hour long but the information is worth it!! ).

Network

You have heard it a MILLION times but network!! Connect with your local GIS organization and try to attend a conference. If you can’t for whatever reason, search for online GIS organizations and see if you can join their online zoom meetings.

Learn to Code

I have run into Python, R, Javascript, and HTML/CSS during my undergraduate work and various internships/jobs. Be ahead of the curve and learn it on your own. I would HIGHLY recommend Python if you want to start with a language and don’t have a course at your university. Just start with a basic ‘intro to python’ video and then complete python gis tutorials.

Make a separate account for GIS stuff

Just to keep things organized and in one place, I recommend you make a separate email for GIS. For some of my courses I was required to sign up for GIS software/sites and I wanted to have access long after graduation so I made a separate account for it.

Example email: nameGIS@email.com

Take Advantage of (Online) Communities

Being in GIS forums/groupchats/servers/etc has helped me so much! From feedback with assignments to how to market myself when looking for a job, joining groups is beneficial.

I LOVEEE the GIS Discord server and highly recommend you join.

(Link to server https://disboard.org/server/769917190182404127 )

Keep Learning!

This is the most important thing I want you to leave with. GIS is constantly evolving and in order to be on top, you need to be up to date on new technology and software updates etc.

Personally, I would be learning new stuff during semester breaks and take advantage of the free courses Esri MOOC has.

[aurumacadicus]

Fictober 27/31 -- “That’s not why we’re doing this.”

Back on my OC bullshit now that some obligations are done. Was gonna go with something super angsty, but Mr. Cheung has made it clear (and Lottie is well aware) that Senator Stern and his cronies just want mutants dead. It feels like beating a dead horse to insist upon it. Anyway Lottie is so stupid (affectionate) and the nosiest people on the team (Steve, Natasha, Tony) are also so stupid (affectionate). It’s long so look out for under the cut!

--

Tony frowned and crossed his arms. “This feels duplicitous.”

“When has that stopped you?” Steve asked before he could stop himself, and then hastily added, “That came out wrong. I mean normally you don’t think twice about how others feel about—oh my god.”

“Just stop talking,” Tony sighed, but he also sounded a little sympathetic, too. “So, just to get this straight, we’re hacking into some rando’s website to check out hidden art of Lottie because… he’s suspiciously still panting lions into landscapes?”

Steve scowled. “That’s not why we’re doing this.”

“We’re doing this to find out if Daniel Winston is in love with Lottie,” Natasha added helpfully.

“That’s not what I said,” Steve told her sharply, and then looked back at Tony, desperately willing him to believe him. “That’s not what I said.”

“Is it what you meant?” Tony asked. Then he scowled. “Wait, you talked to Natasha about this before me?!”

“He thought I could hack the website by myself, but I can’t,” Natasha answered with a shrug. She held up her tablet, showing off the website that Steve had found but wasn’t attached to Daniel Winston’s professional page or his name at all. “But there’s literally nothing here except pictures and ‘love and healing to Charlie W’ on it. I can’t even get data from the pictures themselves.”

Tony snatched the tablet from her, peering at the website, then looked back up at her, disgruntled. “So, we’re meddling to figure out if this Daniel Winston is in love with her for… what reason?”

“I just wanted to check if it was the same guy the entire time or if he’s being ripped off by someone else,” Steve answered.

Tony nodded, then turned his gaze on Natasha, raising an eyebrow. She blinked back at him slowly, then simply replied, “I’m nosy.”

“Well, at least you’re honest,” Tony said as Steve spluttered at her in offense. He turned, waving a hand up at the ceiling. “JARVIS, what can you tell me about this Daniel Winston guy?”

“Just a moment, Sir.” There was a long pause as several screens popped up, images and websites flashing too quickly for the human eye to make out. Finally, JARVIS said, “From what I can gather in a preliminary search, Daniel Joseph Winston lived just down the street from the Weber homestead. He has three older siblings, one of whom was in the same grade as Ms. Weber’s older sister, Laura. He also has two younger siblings. He was in the same grade as Ms. Weber and her twin sister, sometimes even in the same class. There are several pictures of he, Ms. Weber, and a variety of friends. He started painting in seventh grade and eventually won a scholarship to the California College of the Arts and has been painting ever since. He has had some commercial success, and has even painted two murals in their hometown.”

“Huh,” Tony said, staring at a mural of an orchard. “No lions in this one.”

Natasha pointed to the likeness of a person walking away from the viewer, a basket on their hip. “Cat.”

“Cat,” Tony agreed when he noticed the little whiskered face peeking out of the basket.

“We don’t know that it’s a stand-in for a lion,” Steve began.

“Quite the contrary, Captain Rogers,” JARVIS cut in. “Unless it was a commission with strict specifications, Mr. Winston has always found a way to put a cat in the painting.”

Steve stared up at one of JARVIS’s cameras, astounded. “Oh.”

“It appears to be a signature of his,” JARVIS added.

“Huh,” Tony said again, reaching out to the glowing screen to swipe to a different picture. Sure enough, there was another cat, peeking out from some bushes.

“He’s totally in love with her,” Natasha decided.

Both Tony and Steve swiveled to look at her, stunned. “How do you,” Steve began, then shook his head. He didn’t want to understand. He was bad at hints anyway. He shouldn’t be getting involved in someone else’s (equally non-existent) love life.

Tony crossed his arms. “Okay, and? What do we do with that information now?”

Natasha turned from looking at some other paintings, frowning. “Why would we do anything? Lottie either doesn’t know or doesn’t care, and Daniel apparently is fine with the status quo.” She crossed her arms as well and looked back at the paintings. “Like I said. I’m nosy.”

“Nosy enough to figure out if Lottie doesn’t know or doesn’t care?” Tony asked with just a hint of hope in his voice.

“Eh,” Natasha answered, waving one hand in a half-and-half manner.

Steve turned his gaze back to the pictures of paintings as well as they began to bicker about the level of Natasha’s nosiness (and, somehow, her willingness to stab someone in the neck?). Some of the cats in the paintings were obvious. Others were hidden inside of things, like leaves in a tree, or a shadow within shadows in an alley. Things that might get missed on first and even second glances. There was even a ‘find the Winston cat’ website where people could send in clues to find the harder-seen ones. Apparently, he’d taken it as a fun challenge and had done a painting that had ten separate cats in it. So far, he’d only confirmed nine found.

“She doesn’t know,” Steve finally decided, taking a step to the side to view the painting from a different angle.

Natasha and Tony paused in their bickering to look at him in surprise. “How do you know?” Tony finally asked when Natasha just raised her eyebrows expectantly.

Steve motioned at the picture. One cat was obvious, but the others were well-hidden—in the grooves of a trashcan, or the dirt on the ground, or the pattern of the bricks in the background. But one thing all of the cats had in common were a letter, hidden against their coloring much more deftly than they were hidden in plain sight. “The tenth cat. He’s spelled out ‘Charlie.’”

Natasha and Tony came over to look at what he was seeing. “That’s cute,” Tony finally decided. “Sad, but cute.”

“Has he had any other girlfriends?” Natasha asked, glancing up at one of JARVIS’s cameras.

“None that I can see,” JARVIS replied. “But plenty of friendships. He does not seem unhappy with his life, from what I can gather.”

“Weird,” Steve muttered, frowning.

Natasha turned to scowl at him. “That’s pretty rich, coming from the king of waiting too long.”

“I did not come here to be attacked,” Steve answered, fist coming up more on instinct than anything.

Natasha lifted her own fists, apparently just as ready to throw down.

Tony rolled his eyes, deciding to ignore them, mostly, it seemed. “Don’t engage in fisticuffs near my blowtorches.” He took a step closer to one of the screens, where a young man had his arm slung over what looked like a younger version of Lottie, surrounded by several people, baskets of raspberries at their feet. Everyone was looking at the camera, except for him—he was looking at Lottie. “…I’m gonna tell her,” he said after a long pause.

Natasha turned her scowl on him instead. “That’s not something you should insert yourself in.”

“I do not respect that opinion coming from you,” Tony replied, crossing his arms over his chest and frowning at her severely.

Natasha scowled at him a little longer, then sighed with a small nod of agreement, shrugging in a ‘what can you do’ kind of way.

“We still shouldn’t stick our noses in this,” Steve said, frowning. “If she doesn’t know, and he hasn’t told her, who are we to expose his feelings?”

“Ugh, the voice of reason,” Tony grumbled, huffing petulantly. “Fine, but I’m gonna be insufferable about this.”

“God,” Steve sighed, lifting his hand to pinch the bridge of his nose. “I’m sorry I even came down here.”

Natasha scoffed at him, loudly. “No you’re not. I’m a delight. Tony is too, most of the time.”

“I am,” Tony agreed, brightening up immediately at the praise.

Steve gaped at him, stunned, and wondered if this team would ever stop confusing him. He was sincerely beginning to doubt it.

[prinzrupprecht]

funny thing is, Manjiro is born in 1990 and I’m born in 2005(guess you could say he ‘groomed’ me going by some of these peoples logic 🤣) turned 18 recently and I’ve had loved him and many characters in the series, since starting it in 2021, yet somehow I’m a nonce for thinking they’re hot 😂 make it make sense. If you look at some official arts you’ll see the fan-service on them. Heck Yuzuha had her panties out in that one panel. The word pedophile doesn’t mean shit on this website or on Twitter because it’s been watered down by idiots. Cyber tip it, get the police involved or go to the station if you came across that type of material so that minor can be saved but they won’t cause even they know deep down it’s all bullshit and just want the attention and praise, going after someone who causes real harm is too much effort so the best they got is to go after people liking anime characters. So dumb, sorry for the long ask op, just annoyed 😒.

People listen, Megumi will not thank you, Bakugou will not thank you, Yuuta will not thank you, Manjiro will not thank you, Yuji will not thank you, Nagi will not thank you…why? Because they’re not real, you could draw them dead for all I care and they’d still be just fine, why? Cause they ain’t real! They can come back from whatever shit someone draws and/or writes about them, shit I might not like myself, human being such as myself can’t.

But you still want to save the fictional anime characters? Then use this link below ⬇️

To report an incident involving the possession, distribution, receipt, or production of child exploitation file a report on the National Center for Missing & Exploited Children (NCMEC)'s website at http://cybertipline.com, or call 1-800-843-5678.

again, my apologies for popping of on your blog again, but I just find this whole thing absurd and a waste of time. Also, why now? Why does everyone care about the anime character being sexualised now? I remember being told shit when I was back in high school and college, still am by the way, that ‘he’s not real’ ‘the anime boy won’t date you’ ‘that’s cringe go speak to real boy’s’ compared to nowadays🤔 I just don’t get it, now they’re real? And not to mention, Yuji and Megumi are born in 2002 and Yuta in 2001, they’re 3-4 years older than me and yet I’m a weirdo for them hot?! I’ll just say these boys ‘groomed’ me going by this silly logic and the police can arrest their fictional asses, it’s just so dumb 😂🤣

This is the most truest thing I’ve read all day. Beautiful, I’m in tears. I guess people will still find ways to connect reality with fiction constantly. When all it is, is just fantasies. I find 90% of the men in JJK hot asf, from Yuji all the way to Higuruma. I can’t help myself with the way Gege draws his male characters super hot. Had to limit replies, seems like all I’m getting is L takes on my argument. There’s a lot of smut with these characters, I couldn’t care less since they’re fictional. 😭💀

[petri808]

Twiyor AU

“Please?!” The women begs. “I heard you were some kind of Cupid; can’t you help me find a match?”

It’s another day and another coffee shop I’ve found myself in. I’d grown used to these requests, even though I’ve given up on love. Ever since the rumors spread during my college years of how my relationship recommendations equaled 100% success, it’s a never-ending routine of requests. I don’t know if it’s so perfect, and frankly don’t care anymore. Because you see, I have a gift… Take this woman sitting across the table. I can see that her hearts aura is a yellowish color which means if she falls for someone with a similar color, they’ll be a good match. Getting the gist of what I can do? 

I sit back in my chair and take a sip from my coffee cup. “I don’t actually find you a match. You show me someone you’re interested in, and I’ll tell you if I think you’re a good match.”

“Oh…” the woman deflates in her chair. “I see… There isn’t anyone I’m interested in right now.”

“Then you can always contact me when you’re ready.” I throw on a professionally fake smile and stand up from the table. “Have a nice day ma’am.”

That was a waste of my time, but at least I got free coffee out of it. On my way back home, my friend texts me to see how the meeting had gone. Franky, the pest. This is all his fault, the A.K.A. rumor starter and only person who knows my secret. He even set up a website for people to find me… how thoughtful, so now my free time is taken up by this pseudo part-time job. 

‘She didn’t read the description on the website,’ I text Franky back, ‘so it was a bust.’

I’m not a warm-hearted guy who’s doing this out of the kindness of my heart or care about other people’s happiness. Do you have any idea how annoying it is to see all the successful pairings when I’ve never had one in my twenty-eight years? All the thank you cards, photos, and wedding invitations from the successful pairings filled with syrupy sweetness. It’s enough to make my teeth hurt. 

My phone pings, it’s Franky again. ‘Oh well she’ll be back.’

No doubt, I sigh and toss my apartment keys onto the counter before dropping onto the sofa. I’ve still got a couple more hours to kill so I close my eyes as the memories of failures run their course. Not to brag, but I know I’m a good-looking guy who’s been popular all through high school, college, even now as a salary man. Perfect blonde hair, striking blue eyes, fit build— you’d think finding a partner of my own would be easy, right? Not so. Not only can I see the hearts aura, which is akin to a person’s essence, but also their emotions in the moment like a halo glowing above their heads. Women always look at me with a superficial lust, judging me based on appearance and those ones disinterest me the most. The few times I’ve dated, it was those halos again revealing what they really thought about me. Some cheated or maybe didn’t really love me anymore, but the worst were lies. People can so easily lie, but their emotions never do with their background dark greens and browns giving it all away. Eventually, it gets tiring to even try and besides, it’s not like I know my own color to guide me. Maybe then I’d find a better match without having to play the guessing game…

It’s Friday night, and it’s Valentine’s Day, so why am I at the bar with Franky? Ugh, I’m such an idiot for letting him talk me into this. ‘We’re both bachelors,’ he’d pitched, ‘maybe we’ll get lucky.’ Well, lucks never been much of a friend and I’m more likely to end up with a stomachache. 

For a Valentine’s Day the bar is comfortably full, a mixture of couples and hopefuls looking to change their status. As one could imagine, there are a lot of reds and pinks hovering over heads, then a scattered variety over the rest. I’d seen quite a few potential matches while walking in, but too bad for them that several of the couples aren’t among them. 

“Loid, I just don’t get it man.” Franky squeezes and shakes my shoulder. “So, what if it might end? Sometimes gotta go through a few snags before landing the right fish. You shouldn’t rely on that gift of yours so much and just take a chance.”

Sitting at the counter with my back to it all is the best option. All the fish in this bar that Franky’s yapping about is not for me, and I’d rather not be reminded of it. Just shut up and let me drink! 

I set my drink onto the bar top. “I’ve taken enough chances and I’m over it for now.”

“Tch,” Franky let’s go with a harumph. “Fine, then back to me.” He turns his body to scan the room. “Oh, hello! Beauty just walked in!”

“Maybe beauty will like a beast like you.” I snicker without looking.

“Pfft! Well, she’s looking this way… staring actually!” Franky slaps my chest in rapid succession with the back of his hand. “Take a look, is she a fit for me??”

I doubt it, I think to myself as I turn to look. It’s not that I don’t doubt she’s pretty cause Franky’s tastes only run to models but—

“Rainbow…” the words wisp from my lips before my brain can catch up to the scene. A raven-haired beauty staring in our direction so strongly it sends chills shooting down my spine. Who is this woman? It’s the first time I’ve ever seen someone with a rainbow color! Most are just one, maybe two tops but not her, she’s literally sparkling like a character in a comic. 

“Rainbow?” I hear Franky parrot but I’m too mesmerized to care or remember he is next to me. He’s asking more questions… jabbing my side, but all I can is do is watch— frozen to my seat as she moves towards us from the front door. My breathing slows as she gets within a meter’s length. 

Her eyes flash as a beaming smile takes over, sending my heart into a tizzy and breathing to a halt. 

“Wow!” She grabs my hand forcefully without hesitation, as if willed by an invisible force. “I’ve never seen a rainbow aura before on anyone else. You’re just like me!”

Huh? What? Come again?! My head tips slightly in confusion. “I’m sorry? Did you say I have the rainbow aura? Ma’am, you have the rainbow aura.”

“No, you do.” She smiles brighter. “We both do.”

“Y-You can see… my color?”

“Yeah,” her eyes sparkle again.

Sparkling like ruby gemstones glinting off the bars backlit liquor display. Her gaze is a sirens lullaby slowing time itself— I can’t look away… just taking in the vision of long dark hair against creamy light skin on slim yet toned features. The yellowish orange excitement surrounding her head is slowing melting into a reddish orange. I feel the heat rising on my cheeks the longer I stare, my own color no doubt changing to red as well if the surprised look on her face is any indication. Shit! This is the first time this ability has made me feel so self-conscience! 

“Tch,” I hear Franky’s annoyed tone, “I’ll catch ya later Loid.”

“Yeah…” I respond back without breaking eye contact with the woman. I’d forgotten he was even there. 

“I’m sorry for interrupting sir.” The woman directs her words towards Franky who merely nods and walks away before turning back to me. “Um… mister Loid?” 

Her voice snaps me out of the void. “Oh, yes. Sorry how rude of me,” I quickly gesture to Franky’s now vacant bar stool. “Please, if you’ll join me.” 

Considering the enthusiastic lack of hesitation earlier, now it’s so cute how this beauty’s turned shy. I do my best to focus on her and not look at the colors dancing around her because Franky did have a point about not relying on auras. Though from the rosy hue of her cheeks, coyly down-casted eyes and upturned lips, to the fidgeting fingers in her lap it’s obvious which emotions are plaguing her. 

I take her trembling hand and kiss it’s back. “I’m Loid Forger,” I flash a smile, “and you are?”

She pulls her hand back only to tuck some loose tendrils behind her ear in a nervous gesture. “M-My name is Yor Briar. I’m sorry for the sudden intrusion, I was just so happy to see someone else like me I couldn’t stop myself.”

“It’s okay,” I smile sweetly. “I’m happy too, but I don’t want to ruin your plans either, are you meeting someone here?”

“Ah!” She suddenly straightens out as if remembering suddenly, turns and scans the room as she continues talking. “Yes, my co-worker… but I don’t… see her yet.” Yor let’s out an exhale of relief. “She’ll be surprised to see me sitting with a man.”

“Oh?”

Yor blushes again with her shoulders slumping in embarrassment. “I—I’ve always been too shy to deal with men.”

I chuckle lightly, “but I bet with your looks there’s been many suitors.”

So adorable! I laugh internally at how cute she is, because if Yor blushes anymore fiercely her hair might catch fire. She turns her gaze fully to the floor unable to meet my eyes.

“I could say the same for you.” Yor responds in a soft voice. “Besides, I’d never met my hearts match before.”

Now it’s my turn to blush. So, she knows how the colors work, I shouldn’t be surprised considering it didn’t take me long to figure it out either. In middle school when classmates started dating, I began noticing a pattern between the couples that lasted and the couples that didn’t. I don’t think those relationships were as stable though because even those with the same color would sometimes break up, so it wasn’t until college that I fully understood. Anyway, there is one difference between us. 

I sigh light-heartedly, “neither had I,” before perking up again, “but at least you can see your own aura, because I can’t that made it more difficult to know who would be a match.”

“Oh, really?” Yor perks up as well and meets my gaze. “I suppose that’s true.” 

After ordering new drinks, our conversation continues for several more minutes before Yor’s friend finally shows up. Based on the interweaved green and red pulsing around her, the female coworker whose name is Millie is jealous that Yor caught my attention. So, they’ve come tonight as part of the hopeful crowd. Sorry Millie, but my hearts already taken. 

“So, exactly what is it you do Mr. Forger?” Millie questions with a grilling tone to her voice. 

Is she asking for her friend’s sake or for her own. Not that it matters to me. I throw on my fake professional smile for the woman. “I’ve always been great at understanding people, so I became a psychiatrist. It’s my own practice but I do work for the hospital as well as provide pro bono services for the local orphanage.” 

“Wow,” Millie keeps her outward expressions emotionless trying to hide her annoyance. “You’re such a great guy to help those orphans. Yor’s lucky to have met you.”

Oh, the flickering jealousy is so amusing. Millie’s eyes almost pop out of their sockets in surprise. A philanthropist doctor?! She’s practically seething over it, so why not go in for a kill shot? Shut this woman up and impress Yor at the same time, it’s two birds with one stone. “I do it because I enjoy it. Those kids have gone through a traumatic experience, so I couldn’t help but be moved— enough so, that I ended up adopting a bright little girl named Anya who really captured my heart.”

My chest puffs out unconsciously when I see Yor’s face brighten like a blooming rose and Millie’s faux smile falters. I already know we’re a good match, but I want Yor to want me for more than just some supernatural power. Plus, the story isn’t a complete lie. Originally, I adopted Anya for a tax write off— yes, I know that’s despicable, but it didn’t take long for the precocious child to win over my heart. 

Millie recovers quickly and redirects toward her friend. “Are you willing to be a stepmom Yor?” She asks no doubt hoping her friend will be taken aback at a sudden change like motherhood. 

“Yes!” Yor replies quicker than I’d expected and with much enthusiasm. She’s practically on the edge of her seat, eyes sparkling at such an idea. “I don’t mind at all. After my parents died, I had to take care of my younger brother, so I have a lot of experience already though…” Yor shrinks back a little. “I’m not a very good cook.”

Oh, this is perfect! My smile brightens. “I’m sure you’d make an amazing mother Yor.” But, perhaps it’s time to let things marinate a little as well. “Well lady’s,” I stand up from my seat. “It’s been fun, but I must get up early to pick my daughter up from her sleepover tomorrow, so it’s time for me to leave. You both have fun.” I then take Yor’s hand again and place a chaste kiss to the back of the knuckles. “Though you, not too muchfun,” I tease, “may I contact you tomorrow?”

Yor’s rainbow aura shimmers along with the flash of an embarrassed and beaming smile. “Y-Yes! Of course, I look forward to it.”

Me too, Ms. Briar… me too… 

Did my aura just shimmer too as if calling out to its match? I can’t see my own aura but somehow it sure feels that way. I squeeze her hand with a final kiss to her cheek. “Then till tomorrow.”

The moment I’ve turned my back to them, I can’t help but smile to myself. Such a totally unexpected event! I’ll thank Franky later. Tis a Happy Valentine’s Day after all…

[greetings-inferiors]

how did you pick your uni?

I searched up ‘mathematics university rankings’ and chose the top 5

I’m just kidding you can’t apply for Cambridge and Oxford.

In reality I did give lots of unis a go, the first and third in the country just happened to be one’s I really liked. Cambridge is, obviously, Cambridge, it’s jaw droppingly gorgeous, the maths department is the thing of dreams, the college system is literally my ideal living situation, etc. sadly I didn’t get an offer (I did get pooled however, which is literally the closest you can get to an offer without getting an offer. I was good enough to get a Cambridge offer, there were just more people who were better.).

My next choice is Warwick, which is only third in the country for maths 😭😭😭 also incredible! Its campus is the perfect size, has a really cool arts centre, its own cinema, its maths department is also really cool (such… high ceilings 🥵), and the dorms aren’t that bad, some would even call them good! It also lets you have a lot of freedom, for example as long as you take the compulsory modules you can take ANY MODULE IN THE WHOLE UNIVERSITY as additional modules. It means I can formally learn Japanese whilst studying for a maths degree. It also lets you choose to have a year abroad after you got your offer, which is surprisingly quite a rare find. Almost all unis have maths and maths with year abroad as separate degrees, but you can add a year abroad WHILE AT THE UNI, which is really cool since I’m considering taking a year abroad to Tokyo to study maths (I’d have to research it more as someone said that they don’t do Tokyo even though it says on the website but the website was pretty vague so - once (if? No. Once. (Confidence is key!)) I’m a student there I’m sure it’ll be a lot clearer.

My insurance is mathematics (oh yeah I should probably mention that all my applications were for mathematics) at Nottingham, it’s a really cool uni that isn’t as prestigious, still really good, and is a lot more hip and stuff. I like it for many of the same reasons, just less, which is why it’s my insurance!

Basically, I really like challenging myself, so I picked the hardest universities in the country. I also applied for Durham, which is (I believe) the fourth, and I got an offer but honestly I didn’t really look at it much, I much preferred Warwick.

[transboysokka]

Casually admitting to Islamophobia in my dash? Classy.

oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god please be joking

i am gonna respond to this either way bc who fucking knows on this website

i know you’re referring to this post and i am once again asking you to use basic reading comprehension skills

Or if you can’t do that, then imagine

You are six years old and have lived your whole life in a white suburban ultra-Christian ultra-conservative area

You can’t think for yourself because you’re SIX YEARS OLD and also fucking autistic as hell like not even able to function independently so you just. Absorb the opinions of everyone around you, especially people you respect like family members

9/11 happens. You watch the footage of people dying again and again and again for days and nobody ever talks to you about it???

You’re constantly surrounded by people who blame an entire group of people who had nothing to do with it and justify war for no real reason but YOURE SIX YEARS OLD so it must be true

Also everything is so fucking sensationalized in the media and imperialism and Islamophobia is EVERYWHERE including school where you have to watch Baghdad being bombed live when you are 8 because “we are heroes” ????

This just becomes truth and reality at that point

You’re still scared as fuck every time you see anyone visibly Muslim because you’ve been taught that they all kill people

Anyway when you’re 11 you start to get your own thoughts like “I think maybe this war is actually fucked up but I don’t have the knowledge or the resources to articulate why I think that?”

It turns out a kid you’ve known actually most of your life is Muslim. And he doesn’t even “look” like it? And… he’s not dangerous?? So at 11 years old when yOURE FINALLY DEVELOPMENTALLY ABLE TO FORM YOUR OWN OPINIONS you start slowly unlearning all that shit you were taught

So I mean, yeah were those thoughts privileged and fucked up? YEAH. No excuses there. And for what it’s worth I’m sorry that I used to think that way. But I think someone who sends a message like this really fails to grasp

How fucked up and imperialistic and hypernationalistic shit was for a while there (I mean did it ever end? Lol debatable but it’s at least a different kind now)

That kids DEVELOPMENTALLY don’t have the BRAIN CAPACITY to form their own opinions about stuff like that?? Like what was I gonna do, read into it in an era when it wasn’t even normal to have a computer with internet??? Fucking dumbass

The reality of how echo chambers and brainwashing still are today. Like. Having information IS a privilege and if you live in a world where EVERYTHING screams one thing at you, it’s really hard to break out of that shit

Like Jesus Christ, cancel me if you want, I’ve been unlearning shit my whole life. I got over my homophobia in a similar way to this in middle school, transphobia in high school, fucking white supremacy in college. I JUST in the last couple months started reprogramming myself from evangelical Christianity lmao like.

People are always learning and evolving and that’s why I fucking HATE this cancel culture or dragging shit up from when someone was an actual child… like hey we are all shitty people who think and do shitty things. What’s important is that we try to get better and grow and are able to move on while apologizing to the people we’ve hurt, and show a REAL desire to change for the better

[blueberryshelves]

Today I finished this wonderful book, and decided to have some fun on a trail of my own!

_______________________________________________

Book Review

Title: The Trail to You & Me Author: Mandi Lynn Bell

Book Series: Road Trip Snapshot, book #3 (stand-alone)

No. of Pages: 319

ISBN: 9781953388070

Synopsis:

What was supposed to be a summer fling fails epically when opposites attract and sparks fly.

Lori has her life planned out for the next five years. She’s intent on graduating college early, becoming a yoga instructor, and starting her own business. Her plans have already been de-railed for two years after helping a friend in crisis and now it’s time to buckle down and focus. However, a regular shift at work, ends with flirtatious banter and a promise to a memorable evening.

Even with the unexpected date, Lori is determined to keep him at a distance. While he’s free-spirited and ready to embrace the unexpected, Lori can’t afford to be sidetracked from her dreams again. Besides, this summer romance is doomed to fail since he’s on his own mission to hike the Appalachian Trail. No matter how hard she tries to get him off her mind, she can’t help but be both envious and curious of his simple approach to life. Struggling to let go of her hard-set ways, Lori finds herself agreeing to something she’d never thought she’d do: ditch work to go backpacking.

After summer ends, will their romance survive, or will their differences pull their lives in two different directions?

The Trail to You & Me is a standalone novel in the Road Trip Snapshot Series. If you like books with witty banter, adventure, and coming of age elements, Lori’s story is sure to claim your heart.

_______________________________________________

What did I think of the book?

The Trail to You & Me by Mandi Lynn Bell My rating: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ 5 of 5 stars I have never been more excited to start reading a book. This is such a sweet, feel-good story that has made me smile at almost every page. This is one of those books that have come into my life when I needed it most, and left me feeling absolutely euphoric, grinning from ear-to-ear, and wanting to immediately re-read it again. The story has many great life lessons, too, such as “it’s about the journey, not the destination”, and living your life. The characters were relatable, had good development, and the pacing of the story from chapter to chapter felt natural and real. It really feels like Mandi knew what she was doing when putting this book together. On release day, I didn’t hesitate to get this book with The Book Adventure Box from the author’s website. The gifts in the box took the reading experience to another level. It felt like I was part of the book, and going on the same adventures as the characters. Immersion is an important factor for me with reading, and The Book Adventure Box nailed that perfectly.

The hiking scenes were quite nostalgic, reminding me of when I used to go hiking and traveling with my family for a couple weeks over the school holidays every other year. The further I read, the more intensely I felt inspired to go hiking again myself. Favorite character/s: Caleb “Chip” - for the way he balances Lori out, and the life lessons he gives in the book. What drew me to this book? I was looking to read a romance and the Appalachian Trail was mentioned in the blurb of the book, so I was sold on the combination. Stars: 5/5 - it’s a wonderful Summer read, and I can’t wait to read the first two books in the Road Trip Snapshot series when they arrive in the mail.

*The Book Adventure Box View all my reviews

[isolatedwriter]

I know I haven’t posted in a hot minute, but I wanted to update regarding the fanfics which I currently have on AO3.

I am not deleting anything, but it may look like I have because I changed all of my works to be able to be viewed by registered users only. I really didn’t want to do this at first because I love the idea of a public archive, but with the rise of AI and my strict opposition to it (because its basically just stealing stuff from writers and artists) I decided to make the switch so it is harder for my works to be used by any AI scouring the internet. I never want any of my works entered into or used by any AI, and this was one of the ways I could prevent that from happening. I think it goes without saying after all of that, but please do not put any of my works into any AI.

That being said, it is fairly easy to set up an account (I wasn’t invited by anyone when I set up mine, and it only took 24 hours for me to get invited by the website) if you haven’t already!

Also I’m sorry I haven’t been writing or posting anything lately, college got crazy so I didn’t have a lot of time and ideas weren’t coming to me as much as they were before. Even though I am now graduated (wild, I know) I can’t promise I will update any more frequently. But that doesn’t mean I want to remove the works I have there now. As a frequent re-reader of fics myself I never plan on removing them, even if the access is more limited now.

As for some general thank yous because I’m already here so why not, I want to thank anyone who has ever interacted with my fics, especially people who commented or messaged me. There were times when those really helped motivate me to keep writing and I will forever be grateful to you!

Well, I guess that’s all folks. Until next time!