#can you tell im rly emotional about this part
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faroe never left. even though she had every right to feel upset and angry and betrayed. even though malam would have fucked arthur up in an instant for her. she loves her dad so much and believes in him and has stuck with him this whole time. she is the fire of hope that burns inside him and will not be extinguished and not even kayne can take that away from him
#can you tell im rly emotional about this part#malevolent#malevolent podcast#malevolent spoilers#malevolent part 45#arthur malevolent#faroe malevolent
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to be like frank here, redemption is an ever going cycle. when youve been the problem, the toxic ex, the abuser, you have to know you will have to apologize for that for the rest of your life. you will always have to live with the guilt and conscience of knowing how you hurt that person, or mutliple people. and you have to constantly CHOOSE to not repeat that behavior, and its not easy.
when you meet a new friend the topic of who you used to be will come up eventually, and if you have changed youll be honest with who you were. you cant run from it. you cant try to round the corners and make it seem like the other persons fault, or like it wasnt as bad as it was. its really really scary. because everytime you open up about it, its not just the wound of guilt but its also the fear that theyre going to look inside and not like what theyll see.
but you have to keep moving on and you have to keep being honest. and you have to remember that everyone is applicaple for redemption, you just have to work for it and admitting you were wrong with no buts is the first step.
#anyways cna u tell im kinda going thru it LOL#ive always been a toxic person thats why ive sort of secluded myself from society i avoid human contact w non household members as much as#possible bcuz i feel honestly like im a ticking time bomb that just hurts everything i touch#i dont think its fair to have to have someone deal w my shit when its such an emotional turmoil so even though i want friends im making my#peace w the fact that i like honestl dont really deserve rhem? ik this seems MOPEY but its like this is my geniune non like baiting thoughts#i was an abuser in high school and in an abusive relationship where for the first half i was the perpetrator. i hit my ex and u know i dont#even have anything to add to it other than it was fucked up. i was selfish in bed and sex addicted and sometimes did anything for my fix.#i will and cannot lie about my past as being a shitty person. its scary to say and post but i have to be honest thats who i was that IS a#part of my history as much as i wish i could i cannot erase.#i dont rly even know what to add here honestly. just watching mias vid got me thinking u know#there is more to this story ofc the same ex i was abusive to was also abusive to me it was just split into segments. like i was the problem#for the first year and a half then it switched to them but its not rly rhe best place 2 share that story when im talking about my mistakes#im not trying to detract here i just want 2 get this shit off my chest again. ive talked about it before but not since remaking a few times#anyways i dont have any excuses well i mean i can pull a bunch out but im not going to cuz at the end of the day i shouldve known better#than to be a bitch when i knew i was being a bitch u know?#being the bad guy is a constant struggle where u will have to really really fucking fight yourself tooth and nail to change and i want to be#that person. i want to be someone who can be 100% honest about how shit i was to myself and others (which i do already do to my friends)#hopefully this makes sense idk anyways if ur struggling with being abusive or toxic im here for u. u can get through this and you can be a#good person it is within ur hands i promise u#ok love u goodnight#personal
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HONEYS IT GIRL MAGAZINE august edition⋆.ೃ࿔*:・🎀
welcome back to honeys it girl magazine, this is the august catalog. get ready for the inside scoop on data that i've collected, things i've learned/started doing, and just general info like that organized in kind of a teen-magazine inspired fashion. a magazine for it girls ✨ and now please enjoy, the it girl magazine.
WHAT UR DREAMS REVEAL ABOUT YOU ;
have u ever woken up from a vivd dream and thought "what does that even mean?" yeah same. so i decided to dive into this for this catalog and here's what i found. dreams represent unconscious desires and wishes. we have dreams that mirror our emotional state.
three of the most common dreams that people have are falling, being chased, and dying. which are all inherently negative things. when u dream of falling, it shows a loss of control over an important situation. when u dream of being chased, thats ur brains way of telling u that ur stressed out. and when u dream of dying, it could represent a part of you that is dying or something you'd like to escape.
and dreams about death are the most scary to me cuz i have MASSIVE fear of death but there are more than just negative dreams. usually my dreams consist of things that radiate positivity, or my dreams can be flat out weird. either way, if i remember my dreams i like to write them down and yap about them with my friends.
HAIR HEAVEN ;
i thought that since its leo season and leo's have the BEST hair its only right that hair is the topic of this month's beauty section. so im going to focus on talking about styling, treatments and general care.
how you style ur hair is SO super important to ur whole vibe and aesthetic. hair styles look different on everyone for a multitude of reasons but one of the most obvious is that people have different face shapes and different styles are flattering on different faces.
remember, u dont have to get the same haircut as ur favorite celeb bcuz its so much more cute and original when u get ur own haircut…💬🎀
now unto hair treatments. hair treatments are so important to keep ur hair healthy and lustrous and just well taken care of. so im going to give some hair mask and treatment recipes to keep ur hair healthy and radiant…💬🎀
now finally lets talk about some general tips to keep ur hair gorgeous and lovely on a day to day basis.
♡ use scrunchies instead of elastics when u can to avoid putting strain on ur hair
♡ incorporate collagen into ur diet with supplements or vitamins because its rly rly good for hair skin and nails
♡ when using heat on ur hair, use a heat protectant and try not to apply heat to ur hair on a daily basis
AUGUST MUSIC ;
this month i've really been listening to CHECK by the girl group FLO and let me just say, that song is an absolute MASTERPIECE. the music video was amazing. i love love the cinematography and the concept cuz its super hyper girly just like me and the girls looked so amazing and beautiful.
one of my favorite albums that also dropped this month was latto's sugar honey iced tea album. latto is so so talented and gorgeous and she rly ate down with this album so i highly recommend it to anyone who's been thinking about giving it a listen. my favorite songs on the album are shrimp & grits, look what u did and S/O to me.
BACK TO SCHOOL SEASON ;
for a lot of us, its back to school season and its the time to kind of transition from summer -> into the school year SO here are 5 tips on how to seamlessly transition from ur hot girl summer into a successful school year…💬🎀
♡ get urself an established routine
get urself an established routine 2 weeks before u start cuz the earlier u start ur routine, the quicker it'll be for it to become a habit. adjust ur sleep schedule by sleeping a little earlier, and going to bed at a reasonable time.
♡ reflect and write down some goals
reflect on ur last school year, what u did good and what u did not so good and based on that formulate a couple goals that u can commit to and hold urself accountable to so that then ur making progress thats trackable.
♡ be organized
organize ur notion, ur space, ur school bag EVERYTHING. organization is so crucial especially for school and can protect u from feeling overwhelmed and cluttered.
♡ brief review
im not the kind of person that like summer work, in fact i hate it. but a week or two before school starts i'll do a quick refresh or research the classes that im going to be taking to kind of set myself up for success.
♡ fix ur attitude
stay POSITIVE and dont take on a bad approach to this school year before you've even started. believe in urself, ur discipline and ur abilities and stay in a good mindset.
i have lots of back to school content planned still that hasn't dropped including studying, resources etc so that we can slay this school year…💬🎀
BACK TO SCHOOL FASHION ;
details for back to school fashion/academic princess style :
♡ plaid
♡ grey, pink, black and white color scheme
♡ collared shirts and jackets
♡ pleated mini skirts
♡ sweaters
♡ headbands
♡ knee/thigh high socks
long bouncy curls with a headband that matches something on ur outfit. ballet flats and leg warmers. baby pink gloss and square shaped french tips, delicate necklaces and bracelets…💬🎀
when i think of pink academia fashion the first person that comes to my brain is cher from clueless. here are some of her most princess academia moments in the movie.
cher emphasizes literally everything i've talked about in the pink princess school fashion scheme. the pretty socks, fluffy pens, collared shirts and pink->white->grey color scheme. even the way that she does her hair is very very pretty and flattering.
WHATS MY HOROSCOPE (AUGUST 25-31) ;
♡ you’re the star of the show this month, virgo! it all begins on august 4th with a leo new moon that awakens your zone of spirituality. you could be focused on sacred release to clear space, welcoming in new beginnings. confidence is cultivated through deep soul-searching. on the same day, venus enters your sign, bringing a boost to your energy, creative projects, and style. mercury stations retrograde, also in virgo, encouraging self-reflection.
♡ for aries, it’s an exciting month ahead! the action begins on august 4th, when the leo new moon activates your zone of pleasure, inviting you to follow your passions! a playful approach in romance and creativity can inspire new beginnings that feel fun and stress-free. on the same day, venus enters virgo and visits your sector that rules self-care, encouraging you to embrace healthier habits. In the evening, mercury goes retrograde in virgo, signaling a time for you to get centered.
♡ for taurus, it’s an emotionally powerful month. it all begins on august 4th, when the leo new moon activates your zone of intuition, bringing major insights that lead you to new beginnings. with your environment in the spotlight as well, you might use this time to beautify your living space, pulling in bold animal prints and patterns. later in the day, love planet venus enters virgo, activating your zone of pleasure. take a practical approach to love, money, and creativity. then, mercury stations retrograde in virgo, urging you to release perfectionism and rest.
♡ for gemini, his month is full of connection! the magic starts on august 4th, when the leo new moon activates your communication sector, inspiring you to shine your light, share your ideas, and express yourself. leo’s passion blends with the fresh slate of the new moon to bring you an exciting new path to explore. later, venus enters virgo, awakening your intuition so you can manifest! mercury stations retrograde in virgo as the evening comes to a close, marking a period of rest and awareness.
♡ for cancer, success is yours this month! it all begins on august 4th, when the new moon in leo visits your money zone, inspiring you to share your talents and build up your resources. the bold expression of your skills impresses others and serves as a beautiful boost of confidence for you too! you’ll crave more meaningful conversations when venus enters virgo, awakening your communication sector. mercury stations retrograde in virgo at the end of the day, signaling a time of required pause.
♡ for leo, it’s an expansive month! the excitement starts on august 4th, when a new moon in your sign ignites a path to new beginnings. you’re stepping into the most confident version of yourself! set intentions for the future with courage and inspiration. on the same day, venus enters practical virgo and visits your financial sector, helping you organize money matters and work projects. mercury goes retrograde in virgo that night, encouraging you to embrace stress reduction and physical relaxation.
♡ for libra, it’s an enlightening month ahead, libra! the leo new moon on august 4th activates your friendship sector and invites you to step into the social spotlight. you could be making plans with friends or passionately helping others. set intentions for the future and remember that dreams do come true! venus enters virgo later to help you get grounded as you explore your emotional realm. mercury stations retrograde in virgo that night, highlighting the importance of practicality.
♡ for scorpio, prepare for a month of empowerment! the leo new moon on august 4th inspires you to showcase your talents. by doing so, important people take notice and doors of opportunity open. don’t be afraid to courageously share your expertise. venus enters virgo later in the day, enhancing your powers of negotiation as well as your charm. mercury stations retrograde in virgo before the day ends, signaling a need for patience.
♡ for sagittarius, it’s an adventurous month! the fun begins on august 4th, when the leo new moon lights up your travel zone, encouraging you to explore on physical, intellectual, and spiritual levels. embrace new beginnings that bring abundance into your life. venus enters virgo on the same day, inviting in well-deserved acknowledgment and opportunity. mercury stations retrograde in virgo, asking you to review your long-term commitments and responsibilities.
♡ for capricorn, it’s a month of personal growth, capricorn! the leo new moon on august 4th awakens your zone of transformation and brings change. you could be healing your relationship with money or crafting a plan to tackle debt. when you surrender into evolution, manifestations become reality. venus enters virgo later and lands in your adventure zone. seek out experiences that feel fun, expansive, and abundant. mercury goes retrograde in virgo before the night ends and asks you to slow down.
♡ for aquarius, your relationships are highlighted this month, aquarius! the leo new moon on august 4th activates your relationship zone and opens new paths in love. create heart-led manifestations and enjoy quality time connecting with others. venus enters virgo on the same day and visits your sector of intimacy, encouraging you to bond beyond the physical plane. communicate with care when mercury goes retrograde in virgo that night, marking a time of potential misunderstandings and snafus.
♡ for pisces, get ready to fall in love this month, pisces! it begins with the leo new moon on august 4th that encourages you to love the most important person of all: you! this is the time to take excellent care of your mind, body, and soul so you can feel rejuvenated. venus enters virgo the same day, activating your relationship zone. strengthen your bonds! mercury goes retrograde in virgo that night, marking a time of healing.
CELEBRITY GOSSIP - BLAKE LIVELY ;
this month the movie "it ends with us" was released starring blake lively and justin baldoni and it has been gaining LOTS of traction on the internet for a multitude of reasons. i haven't been to watch the movie yet but if u have, tell me how it was!
the reason why im going to be talking about this in the celebrity gossip section is because of the fiasco blake lively and how out of touch she is…💬🎀
blake is getting called out for how shes been acting during her press tour for it ends with us and her past actions and behaviors that rly showcase how tone deaf she is. the movie is based on the book it ends with us that was written by colleen hoover, and in the book it explores topics such as domestic violence, emotional abuse etc. because of the serious nature of the movie, her saying "grab ur friends, wear ur florals" was a tone mismatch.
a clip of her is going viral where she was asked by the interviewer on, what was the best way someone who understands the themes of the movie, could talk to her. and she responds with literal sarcasm. leaving everyone confused and kind of put off. furthermore during the filming for the movie about literal DOMESTIC VIOLENCE. she launches a haircare brand. which could just be unfortunate timing but i feel like with how good marketing is, this wasn't a coincidence but thats just my opinion.
the last thing i wanna talk about is an interview a while back when blake was pregnant. the interviewer congratulated her saying "congrats on ur little bump" which is so sweet. blake responds "congrats on YOUR little bump" which was SO uncalled for because one, the lady wasn't pregnant and two, the lady literally couldn't have kids. throughout the interview blake just continued to be absolutely obnoxious, ignoring the interviewers questions and just being such a horrible guest.
anyways i'd love to hear ur thoughts and opinions on this situation in the comments and if ur kinda curious about the celeb gossip i recommend watching this video bcuz d'angelo rly explains everything well.
STYLE DISSECTION MARILYN MONROE ;
marilyn monroe is an absolute ICON and legend in literally every form of the word. shes an amazing role model and something that i rly rly love about her is ur style and her beauty which is why im doing this month's style dissection on her…💬🎀
one of my favorite marilyn monroe outfits was her gorgeous deep burgandy silky dress in the film how to marry a millionaire. in this film we get the ICONIC diamonds are a girls best friend and honestly they're right. marilyn sports GORGEOUS diamond jewelry in this movie that rly tie her outfits together and give the air of luxury and opulence that is so so hard to recreate which is why no one can do it quite like marilyn.
marilyn rly made the iconic 1950s glam what it was. everything from her signature platinum blonde bob to her gorgeous, feminine allure. in her film gentlemen prefer blondes shes wearing an absolutely stunning orange dress that shows off her body. it has a super flowy mermaid cut at the bottom which compliments the snugness of the dress around her waist, hips and chest.
i could talk for HOURS about the fashion icon that marilyn monroe is but we dont have that kind of time in this years august issue of the it girls magazine…💬🎀
#honeysitgirlmagazine✨💝#honeytonedhottie⭐️#it girl#becoming that girl#self concept#self care#that girl#self love#it girl energy#dream girl tips#dream girl#dream life#dreamy#hyper femininity#hyper feminine#girly#girl blog#it girl magazine#it girl lifestyle#it girl journey#princess#dolly#fashion#passion 4 fashion#girly magazine#horoscope#monthly catalogue#law of assumption#marilyn monroe#hair care
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*comes in dancing to hide the tears*
Soooo, a winion told me you have thoughts on Not sorry for loving you?
WE’RE SO BACK MY LOVE (i was the winion)
OKAY LETS GET GOING THANK YOU MY FRIEND
Not Sorry For Loving You
BOY, i was worried about this song & how it made the events play out considering the odyssey, and I’m satisfied enough with it and I have A LOT to say (i think)
First we start out with the same….tip-tap thingy instrument we had with Love In Paradise, but lower, which DEF is something specifically in music and I’m excited for the musican reactors on youtube start to react to it, and pick it apart (like major/minor)
But its an exact mirror of the beginning of Ody waking up at Calypsos island, is it because things on the island stay the same I wonder? Mhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh (its so beautiful)
Someone arrived today (HERMES , we can hear her take a breath and brace herself for what she has to tell Ody)
They said they′re taking you away (FUCKING FINIALLY, ITS ONLY BEEN WHAT, 7 YEARS???)
That you’re not mine to save (Oh…OH now this one…this can refer to several things 1. calypso “saved” him when he washed up on her island and patched him up 2. she thought she could “save” him from his dark thoughts and everything? “i can fix him” vibes? 3. shes talking about herself and “youre not the one who will safe me”)
And soon I won′t get to see your face (…���.i know this probably because of rhyming purposes, but i like how this kind of implies she cares more about his looks than him xD)
So I came by to say (interesting, does she leave him alone completely, did she start leaving him alone after his breakdown at the cliff? or does she just not tend to go to the beach when hes sitting at the beach crying every day? mhhhhhh)
You’re unlike anyone I have ever known (…he is unique)
‘Cause you′re all I′ve ever known (…….thats just sad, i teared up at some part during the stream, im not sure if it was this or the end of charybdis,..but yeah)
WANGUIS VOCALS ARE BEAITUFUL; THE MUSIC- ITS
ITS SO GOOD, im in love
And if I pushed you
Or if I came on too strong (“if”, ok…miss hypothetical, and miss “i” messages, if she pushed him, he literally refused her from the start and she kept going and told him to bow down………….”if”, as in “thats what you say I did and maybe thats true but probably you made that up”, can i see this as her just now looking back and being like “yeah….maybe that was too much?”, maybe, but if this was the first time in seven years that she reflected on her own actions, then she has ISSUES still)
Or if I ambushed you (the song keeps things very vague, but I see this as a way for Jorge to semi-confirm the assault, or at least to not erase it, ive seen a lot of conflicting views on the song, from “not specfic enough about the SA as it should be” and “this song proofs that calypso is innocent” and Jorge probably found a way to let both interpreations co-exist, that being said I will be excited for animatics that will lean into the more Odyssey-accurate interpreation)
For that, I’ll say I was wrong (you say you were wrong, but you dont say you’re sorry for it?… aha)
And if you hate me (“if” you hate me, not like she FORCED him to stay on her island for SEVEN YEARS, girlie aint you the one trapped too in this interpretation? :) :) :) u should know how it feels, if you had ANY sympathy and goodwill for him at heart instead of selfishness you would’ve let him go years ago, like….7 years)
Then I am sorry my love′s too much for you (THIS is the biggest proof to me that this whole song is just BIG emotional manipulation, “my love is too much for you”, she blames HIM, for her feelings, like he is at fault that he cant deal with her emotions, instead of her being able to respect his boundaries and keep herself in check after his INSISTENT refusal), again the VOCALS THO
But I’m not sorry for loving you (eh, valid, but also rly guilt tripy, yk? You dont have to be sorry for your feeligns, but you have to be sorry about the way you act if it harms someone (WHICH YOU JUST TALKED BAOUT BUT DIDNT APOLOGIZE FOR, so shes not sorry for loving him, she - on some level – understands that she has hurt him, but she doesnt say shes sorry for her actions)
AND THEN A CHOIR to back her up? there was none in Love in Paradise, so its interesting that one appears now, is it because her emotions are stronger now and they’re overwhelming her? is she trying to use her godly power to convince him to stay? no matter what, they sound lovely, and i gasped when i first listened and had to replay it them, it does kind of sound like theyre trying to pressure ody
“Calypso-” THATS pretty much all he gets to say, MY HEART, he tries to speak, having let her vent that all out but…)
Let me speak (SHE INSTANT INTERRUPTS HIM?? THE AUDACITY? GIRL SHUT UP AND LET THE MAN SPEAK, another BIG red flag of this being a lot of emotional manipulation here, especially since she continues with giving her “sad sob story/explanation”, right after its like “yah i did bad but look at my sad story, this is why I did all this, you cant blame me)
I spent my whole life here (isnt it paradise calypso??? doesnt it have all that you want there, all that you need there?? mmhhhhhhhhHHHH someone was dishonest >:) )
Was cast away when I was young (sad, yeah i do feel bad for her about this, but that does not excuse her actions)
Alone for a hundred years (thats a long time i suppose, but for a goddess maybe not that much
I had no friends but the sky and sun (actually love that line)
So when you washed ashore I thought for sure that you were my dream come true (….ah, yes, that makes sense, latching onto the first good thing you come across, hopeless romantic, but being completely blind to the fact that the thing has free will, is actually a human with complex feelings and you were so obsessed with the IDEA of having someone who loved you that you extremely hurt them an,. ofc its the psychological explanation, of course she deserves better, but how she acted was NOT okay, no matter her reasoning)
I thought I knew (you knew…what? thats interesting that she doesnt end that line…and i honestly cant figure out what she implies there, she thoguht she knew that he loved her? that he DOESNT love her, she thought she knew what love felt like? what being loved felt like? OR thought she knew that he was a gift send by the gods? (as it is in the Odyssey iirc..Im not sure on this rn tho, so dont quote me)
The music…is so fricking beautiful in this….we have another refrain, but this time the choir backs her up on the words for “you, too strong, you, was wrong, me, and then the Uuh build up for the the not sorry for loving you”, which just emphases the words again i suppose, and makes her get more emotional? mhhhh not sure! it sounds great tho)
“Im not sorry”, so in the end, even IF she was wrong….shes not sorry, whatever she did to hurt him, the base line is, that she’s not sorry. She should be.
I′m angry and tired and restless and sad (valid feelings, but its all about how you express those…maybe you should get therapy)
I’m stuck in the moments I swore that we had (you swore, but maybe, maybe you just imagined them, because you were so desperate to believe there was actually any love from him, that you made yourself believe his rejections ended up being signs of love after all…thats not healthy, get therapy, rip to jorge tho, i believe i saw a thing that said he wrote it when he was in a low point in life, Id think hes better now, but still, unreciprocated love DOES hurt a lot, so ouchy)
I wish you would chase me (the way that you chase him….mhm)
Or try to embrace me (but he never does because even after SEVEN YEARS, he somehow hasnt warmed up yet….)
For once, I wish you would lie and say (……aha, like him lying would make any difference? because then you could make yourself believe that what you did wasnt wrong? that theres hope for you? girlie you have to learn to accept that, if you want him to lie to you, youre in a BAD spot. do fricking better.)
I love you (…………..okay……okay, so…..that line makes the whole song controversial….from the animatic we saw that right after these lines odysseus turns away with an empty/determined expression and no regret or guilt on his face what-so ever, and we can also hear that his voice sounds desperate, dare i saw close to breakdown (slightly out of breath, because he interrupts her, trying to get a word in, my first interpretation was that he was worried and tired, and gave in to her demands, scared to refuse her)
and then theres a breaths pause
You do? (she sounds so HOPEFUL, like she ACTUALLY would believe him if he said it, and i think in this moment Odysseus too realizes that just saying him him, would make it worse, so he sort of back paddles a bit?)
But not in the way that you want me to (because i see not a single clue in the rest of the music that would indicate that he as any positive emotions for her, and i rly just cant imagine him feeling any positive emotions for her even if she did NOTHING else than keeping him on the island, (which is VERY unlikely imo), but its also interesting because thats pretty much as well as vague as the odyssey leaves it, so its kindaaa more accurate again? except that we do not get any cue about ody’s view on the whole situation, we see him sitting at the beach, yes, but we dont get a single “as she wished but he did not” moment…so, thats up to the animators or maybe, maybe, one day jorge confirming or denying anything….but yeah, whatever Calypso feels, Odysseus does reciprocate the sentiment, I like thinking that she did try to guilt-trip into staying and that he ACTUALLY feels guilty for leaving her……….the rest of the saga has elements where I will read A LOT more into the scenes than is written out, so i might be over-analysing them at some point and projecting what I want it to mean into it…but alas)
I hate that I fell in love with you (yeah understandable)
Why did I fall in love with you? (because you were lonely girlie)
What do I do with this love for you? (process it and move on eventually, you got eternity to get over it)
How am I supposed to get over you? (therapy)
Why in the world won′t you love me too? (because HE HAS A WIFE WHO HAS BEEN LOING FOR FOR 20 YEARS )
The ending music is beautiful, but aT LAST he is sailing off
#epic the musical#epic the vengeance saga#vengeance saga#not sorry for loving you#leyanswers#i need a better tag for this#epic RnA#im excited to write chapter two of solace or sorrow#to make it as gut wrecking as i can#>:)
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I can't help but ask what you were thinking when jrwi asked for you to draw the Galloway map! Were you interested in jrwi at some point :0
[this is gonna be really freaking long and emotional i am so sorry] Dude I was scared shitless.
like back in august when Charlie (and JRWI by proxy) were looking for artists for the BITW coc campaign, I replied under his tweet with my stuff Mainly for funzies (was egged on by moots) thinking he'd never actually pick me (there were SO so many good artists under that post ain't no way...)
.... and then he DID
like I wish I could fully emphasize how much that gig means to me imagine: one of my favourite CCs ever, from one of my favourite podcasts EVER, liked MY art and talked to ME to essentially be an environmental concept artist (which is like.. my dream job btw) for HIS campaign??
my monday afternoon that day exploded
and I felt so bad for him too ttwtt - ok - to Charlie our interactions were probably just like any other time commissioning an artist but for me I was mentally in the TRENCHES (in both a good and terrifying way). For someone with really, really, really horrible social anxiety I'm eternally grateful for his patience putting up with my awkwardness - he is seriously one of the most kindest people in the world ;_;
It was so nice hearing Charlie's ideas for the campaign and letting me build on top of it - it rly shows how important that campaign in particular and dnd as a whole is to him and the rest of the council and I feel so blessed to have been a part of that process >w<
I still have small notes lyin around, I can share small behind the scenes snippets if yall want :>
ngl I was about to apply as the map artist again for the main Riptide campaign but was too busy at the time O(-(
I didn't get to talk to the rest of the boys before, if in the chance we were to cross paths again in the future ever I'd love to work for them again (if I am ever that good to) (if they'd have me)!
As for that second half of your ask anon - wwhwhw yes I am interested in JRWI. Already have been in on Riptide and did some fanart at least but I'm a few episodes behind ahfvlsdkfhvb (somewhere in the 90s also without spoiling someone PLEASE tell me if or if not the mf 7hour long ep 100 is the finale im getting scared). I've been wanting to listen to the other patreon campaigns *Im scratching clawing at the walls on PD let me INNN* real bad but idk if my neurodivergent ass could keep focus on maintaining a subscription and catch up in time,, know that i want to tho!
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Ikevamp bois playing modern games part 2
Vincent
Vincent is way into.. gartic phone
Qnd perhaps skribble.io
Like way into it
He would sit down 12 hours in front of the computer and guess what HES BEEN PLAYING GARTIC PHONE AND SKRIBBLE.IO IN A LOBBY OF RANDOMS
12 HRS IN HES STILL NOT DONE WITH BOTH GAMES
Hed obv speedrun a drawing in a short period of time and manage to make it look *chefs kiss*
Imagine if skribble.io had a vc feature tho
No no, like imagine if people were actually toxic in this goofy ahh game
They would yell down vincent down the mic telling him to go play with photoshop
Randoms are salty that vincent can draw and portray even the most ridicilous prompts which results him with the highest score always
Not to mention hes really good at guessing even the shittiest drawimgs from other ppl
"Broer how- that persons drawing looks ridicilous, even arthur's dog could draw that"
"Don't be mean theo! I could guess the drawing from the emotional connection i felt from it"
Jean
Jean has a shitty brick nokia phone
And he really loves playing snake II
No im serious
Well i suppose momte doesnt trust him with any other phones than that
the last time he was given a smartphone he downloaded some hack and slash game
took the word slash literally and then proceeded to cut the phone into two
comte was too stunned to speak
momte didn’t want his kids to miss out on gadgets but he cant have jean destroying his smartphone
BINGO! a nokia 3310 it is!
jean didnt know how to react at first, but he found it easier to navigate and thats when he found out baout snake II
found it a bit pointless at first but despite saying that, he doesnt realize that thats the only thing he does besids fencing
snake II is his pre workout
the only thing he will be doing before his fencing practice
before meals
and before bed
‘‘jean are you sure you haven’t had enough of snake II..?’‘ comte asked causiously as he never know how his son Jean would react
jean looked at comte and stayed silent for a hot minute
‘‘no’‘
Napoleon
OK FLASH BACK TO MY E BOY NAPOLEON FANART FROM 2021
its official
He plays league of legends
Napoleon is deffo a jungle/top main
Jungle preferabbly
Bros actually cracked coz hed turn any non meta champs into an absolute beast
I see him being especially good with pantheon jungle
Hed play league with jean tbh
And jean would be a dedicated top
But i dont see jean being the best player..
No, like imagine napoleon defending jean from "top troll" and getting spammed "?" On his lane
Napo would literally go to that persons lane just to steal their minion last hits
If hes feeling extra hed even use pantheons ult to yeet over to that player to ks all the minions on that person's lane 😭
"Jgl troll gg"
Ok napo is actually not toxic and is rly nice to play with
Hed even supp for you if ur learning a new champ
Hes only toxic to people who are toxic to his buddies
Comte
Ill be honest
Comte looks like someone who would download all games from every ad pop up he gets
And im talking about anything gacha related
He does not care whether the game is explicit or not as long as he can collect pretty characters
Is he interested in the gameplay??? Probably not.
"For what reason did you spend $$$$$$ on xxx game???" Leonardo asked as he scrolled through comte's in game billings, cocking an eyebrow
"Hm? Well i simply wanted to collect all of these lovely looking characters."
"Without leveling up your characters?"
"Non"
"Do you understand how to play this game?"
Comte only looked at him with his unwavering smile
"honestly this is the most ridicilous spending ive witness from you, heh" Leo snorted
"Much appreciated, but i dont recal asking for any input, old friend" comte retorted
Leo looked at him and sighed
"Honestly at this point i shouldn't be surprised"
.
.
This took me forever to upload because i coulndn't figure what type of game comte would play then one day i was like AHAAAAA
Also i didn't proof read as always so pls dont chop my head off :"))
#ikevamp#ikemen vampire#ikevamp vincent#ikevamp napoleon#ikevamp jean#ikevamp comte#ikevamp leonardo#ikemen series#cybird#ikevamp headcanons
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what the actual fuck?
im going to be real with you, i don’t like hara/hana or whatever the fuck her name is because she and every single friend of jungkook‘s has no business in stating their opinion, talking behind her back and making it obvious that they do by saying it to her face, making her trip go to shit by adding stress and what not. everyone needs to pipe down real quick and im so serious. just because she choose to end a relationship doesn’t mean she was the reason for a ww3 like the fuck? why is jungkook acting like the world ended why be nasty about it and not be understanding of peoples choices and views? it’s been what? years? get over it you fucker and grow up. im not siding with oc but i feel disgusted that they all choose to be this childish over a fucking break up and have this attitude as if everyone would know better the fuck? then let me be judgmental too hara/hana girl where’s your ring? you out here getting your ass pregnant but have no ring on your hand wassup with that sweetheart? jungkook babe you really thought you did everything you could but how come she felt like she couldn’t talk to you when she had insecurities I thought in a relationship people would tell eo everything based of trust and the comfort they gave one another right? girl bye. the only one who was completely neutral in this story was yoongi even though he was also getting on my nerves because if my family member gets treated like this on their trip who they just wanted to turn everything out and have a great stressful time or even in general you‘d have wished to never play with my family. i promise you that.
im aware that it’s not that serious but if i read a story like this (not meaning it as something bad lol) i‘ll call the characters out if we can even state it that way (?) because i have principles and beliefs that don’t align with the childish ass shit they’ve done to this girl. and all because she was just naive and scared to speak up? that’s insane to me.
ouh you’re so real for all of that! 🤝
i feel you 100% bc i’m just the same as you regarding principles and beliefs and how everyone’s acting is just 🤬👊
oc’s hyper-sensitive and bc we’re just seeing her pov it’s hard to determine what’s REALLY going on. jk’s friends (except maybe jimin who rly just wants them to break and talk to each other) don’t meddle at all, namjoon also told her to just talk with jk like yoongi did. them having a group chat isn’t cool but it’s for a reason!
jk acting like the world ended is simply bc for him, it did and he’s just overwhelmed. contrary to oc, he just can’t show his real emotions as clearly. and i fear he’ll never get over oc. and yeah, he knows he didn’t do everything he could but can’t find a way to undo all of it, kinda? it’s basically their main problem they need to fix if they want to get back together. bc dear lord, if they don’t learn how to communicate properly, it’s just plain hurtful and won’t have a happy ending for both.
being judgemental about hara is absolutely valid, and i’m so happy you picked up that she’s missing a ring 🤭 let me just say it’s for a reason we’ll learn in the next part lol
yoongi’s giving jk shit for how he’s treating her, that’s for sure, that’s also why both are at each other’s throats all the time.
i’m glad it stirs such emotions in you, i UNDERSTAND it sm. i just hope you’re trusting the process and keep reading this story. i can’t promise it’ll go as you wish bc idk what you want it to be, but everything that’s making you livid is for a reason lol
thank you for this ask, i loved it sm and pls let your steam out whenever you feel like it lol sending soothing hugs your way 🫂💕
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hello!! it's idat twt video anon back from the dead (I'm terrible at maintaining conversation)
I wanna thank you again for being a hub for our collective insanity, I've been scrolling through your blog lookin at what boyboy deep cuts I've missed and oh BOY the oil video is quite something. and I feel like I should share /my/ deepcut that I found even though it's nowhere near the same genre as the other stuff but a fellow man of culture (aleksa enjoyer) will appreciate it I think
https://www.dailymotion.com/video/x7s9nvk
so I watch idats one man band video maybe every week because one man band aleksa has such a grip on the creases of my brain folds, and one day I was lightly searching, perusing if you will, to see if he's done more music stuff and I found this gem courtesy of dailymotion user HankSydney. about half an hour of Aleksa singing what I assume is Serbian folk and honestly what a treat. none of us have ever done even close to what would be enough to deserve this. wonderful
(im gonna ask if I can give myself one of those anon ID emojis until I can figure out whether to ~unmask~ (come off anon), I propose 🌵)
HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII HELP ME... you're all completely welcome i myself have been made aware of SO many deep cuts i wouldve legitimately never found out abt on my own thanks to you guys!!!! the oil video is...... lets just say that i saw the greatest minds of my generation destroyed by boy boy oil video.
ohhhhhhh my god im gonna go crazy..... yeah ive known abt his appearance at the serbian festival in sydney for a while now but for some reason ive been putting it off the entire time bc i knew itd obliterate me in a completely different way than any video of him & alex borderline touching penises ever could so thank you for finally forcing me to check it out!!! ive just done the kubrick stare at my monitor for about thirty minutes like im honestly speechless hes SO...... his singing voice is SOOOOOO much deeper than his speaking one and the way he sings is so soulful and emotional you can rly tell how truly passionate he is abt music thats so fucking crazy... plus all of the songs are sooo beautiful im definitely gonna go back with shazam in hand and try to find all of their names like its just that dire for me rn. save me serbian folk music
i need to share this clip at least bc this part fucking gagged me to PIECES... im trying my hardest to be normal but hes sooo charismatic & confident and such a great performer plus he works the crowd rly well...... also every time he looks up after pausing the looper his eyes r so like.. electrifying i need to be sedated i think. tldr hes soooooooo talented & funny & good at what he does twirling my hair hiiiiii aleksa. aleksa heeeyyyy hiii aleksa<33333 if you read this im free on thursday night we could hang out on thursday night when i am free please respond to this im free on thursday night
#GOING CRAZY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#youre SOOOO real for watching the idat one man band video every week every time i watch that one i get like .#legitimately overwhelmed by the beauty of music & humanity when they get all the people & esp children to dance in the streets.....#aleksa vulović#boy boy#I LOVE....CULTURE!!!!!! im rly rly happy that i understood some of the lyrics sometimes i jump up and down in my bed for five hours#when i realize he's a slav like me ^_______^ (and alex as well technically. i think)#thank you so much for this again also of course no problem!! from now on you're: 🫵#cactus anon#asks#btw tumblr user gothgirlsakura if you see this your notification is in the video LOL i was rly rly lazy to screenrecord it again. Yaaayyyy
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brother and i finished rewatching zexal- time for the second half thoughts lol
there is a LOT more this time around, so it's under a readmore
right off the bat, Zexal II gives off major sailor moon energy in terms of "haha you FOOLS! the power you used to defeat last season's antag is USELESS now!"
ah yes.......gilag's design.............
brother and i have a long running joke that the barian emperors as a whole are just doing a group project and constantly struggling with the basic shit that people face when DOING group projects (infighting in particular)
also fun fact, my brother DESPISES the sound effect they use for the barian door opening during the chaos xyz summons
i want to say that 85% of shingetsu's shenanigans were planned. he wanted to put yuma through so much hell
furry coach duelist, never forget
TAKASHI TODOROKI MY SWEET BOY
ah rio "i will not be used as a shield to my brother" kamishiro.....we were so hopeful back then
alit remains to be a raging bisexual, we love that for him
though it does raise the question- since gilag couldn't recognize alit initially due to them not seeing human forms until then, could vector tell who they were or did he just hear their names be mentioned and go "wait wtf"
the friendship tournament ep remains to be one of the best one off eps of season 4 i swear to god
remember when the barians were supposed to come and collect haruto? yeah me neither
mizael is peak theater kid. i love that he and kaito fight on equal grounds and then by the end of the series you're hit with "btw mizael is like 15 and kaito's still 18"
rio may have unexplained (at the time) prophecy powers, but shark's got "i can tell yuma is in danger" senses
WE LOVE SHARK BEING A LONGING DUMBASS IN THE HOSPITAL
god i know that like- yuma's already gone through 3 seasons of shark-related emotions, but i wouldn't be surprised at all if it was alit who made yuma first go "wait, do i like guys?"
shingetsu also did a number on yuma with the same emotions, but for much different reasons
"im here to help astral" "yay!" "but don't tell him about me" "ok!" yuma we gotta teach you what a red flag is. though you are 13 and have already gone through a lot of red flags (ex. giving haruto to a stranger)
you think vector had like, a bazillion questions for yuma after seeing no96 for the first time, or did he zip his lip
we establish that kaito has global surveillance and satellites that can just- fire lasers anywhere. tenjos man
takashi and tokunosuke are canonly some of the biggest shippers in the series which is peak hilarity to me, i love that for them
im surprised anna even bothered with the uniform considering she just barged into the tournament regardless. then again, zexal rly loves putting characters in these middle school uniforms
also season 4 is filled way too much with underaged fanservice ugh
SARGASSO DUEL MY BELOVED
mizael refusing to use the lighthouse card cause it was cowardly is hilarious cause durbe is just right there like "hey"
yuma and his very bad no good day
RUIN ARC TIME
my brother was analyzing every second of each ruin tbh
he has.............a lot of thoughts on alit's backstory in particular
why is durbe's ruin in columbia of all places tho
yuma and co skipped so many days of school, you think the rest of the numbers club were just there like "where'd they GO"
we love kazuma desecrating ruins by adding markers and leaving behind coins that future teams will assume to be part of the ruin's treasures (like it did for gilag's)
also they really REALLY never fucking explain WHY kazuma knows all this shit fjdkhdfjkhfd
vector cannot sit still at all
they rly did no96 so dirty in the series. i love that he's a character fandom decided to flesh out beyond what canon gave us, he deserved that much
i rly thought there was more mutinyship moments than there really were jfdkhfdhjdfkhk ah well. they're full of potential
HEHEHEHEHEHEHE YUMA DEPRESSION ARC i know that sounds fucked up to get excited over, but it's also FEARSOME FOUR TIME
ill never understand why they bothered to go be like "heartland took a picture with esper robin" unless they just didnt want us to forget that's a character
"how'd you get your barian crests back?" "with the power of science!" is still SO funny
numbers club trying to be helpful only to get punished is foreshadowing for their fates the rest of the show
you know, you'd think kurage would've realized ryoga was one of the people he killed considering like- he knew his and rio's names. and their faces. but ah well
tokunosuke building a grave for astral is not talked about enough imo, that's like, one of the strongest scenes of the numbers club characters
kaninja you continue to bring me pain, you wouldve won your duel if you didnt say you poisoned kaito
ngl chris, you abusing kaito for a week straight for the sake of "training" was pretty fucked up
i hate the eliphas duel, i hate the eliphas duel, i hate-
"time to be with your REAL allies" durbe plz stfu
they never really do explain how nasch died. we just assumed he did himself in after seeing vector go down which is uh. hm
ahhh toku......the first casualty of the war.........
i wouldve liked more heartland backstory but THATS JUST ME-
jkfkfdhjdkf i love that it rly was just kaninja who was the reason kaito was becoming blind. messed him up even in the afterlife
astral/yuma remains to be so tender
i feel like if you ever want to make vector peak uncomfortable, just stare at him in silence until he breaks
i know that's the point, but once ryoga unlocks "nasch", his drama levels go through the fucking roof
also fun fact, between eps 122 to 143, something like 23 prominent characters die (tokunosuke, heartland, tetsuo, anna, fuuya, droite, gauche, roku, yamikawa, iv, iii, v, alit, gilag, durbe, rio, orbital 7, kaito, vector, mizael, eliphas, don thousand, shark)
"ryoga, my best friend" iv, i rly feel like that's a onesided sort of situation
alit/gilag deserves more attention ffs
GILAG DESERVES BETTER IN GENERAL TBH
i remember being numb by the point of durbe/merag's deaths. that hasnt changed
KAITO'S death tho, that still hits. mainly cause of the music
i love that obomi's affection for orbital only kicked in cause akari....kicked her
akari who was still trying to be in the plot, bless her for trying
haruto is going to need so much therapy tbh
numeron dragon's story is still so sad, love that dragon
it took mizael like 5 eps to get to the moon and another 3 eps to get off it
shark watching vector's performance and just going "........." the whole time is still hilarious. you know that'll always just be their dynamic even post canon
don thousand...........your design is so good but you are still so lackluster......
nasch vs yuma tho- THAT'S a real satisfying boss battle djfkhdfkj love that finale to pieces
aaaaaand now it's just pain and smiles all the way until the end :'3
the growing up storyline of zexal just really, really hits you by those last episodes ugh
there's so much to work with with the finale, and i love it to this day
still the best ygo series, i will not take notes on that fact
if you read all this, thank you
kattobingu <3
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making a post in the tags to “call out” a person is so dumb and childish and stupid, so i won’t put this in there. however, the admin of @wavehq is full lying on my name these days even though i haven’t talked to them or anyone else involved in there in like 6mos. and i rly want them to stop.
i don’t have my old discord account w ss. if anyone else has ss with me in them, u can add them to this post idc how ugly it makes me look. i talked a LOT of shit ( and pertaining to this story, about sel esp ) and called ppl some nasty names and any ss will incriminate me of that. so me talking shit isn’t a ‘gotcha’ anymore. i talked shit and called sel names, as well as k, and i know sel called me names, and im sure everyone else did too. whatevs.
yk what i never did ? i never made a “manifesto” about my ex friend, or priv-retweeted their personal ooc twitter account to mock them. i never helped create and work on an rpt blog, then went and consoled the person being mentioned in nasty messages in the blog on some “oh im so sorry this is happening to you ˙◠˙” shit when it was them the whole time. the worst i did was “fuck her, he’s a cunt, fuck them”, but dream, you lied to me a Lot!
and you’re lying in defending yourself by saying i “heavily hate” sid or anyone. i never have, never did, never will. the last thing i said to sid in like July was “hey, heres my ooc tiktok, im deleting discord. if i never hear from you again, take care.” and then i left rp and the rpc entirely. haven’t talked to or even perceived any of you in months.
you want to believe i’m “bringing this up now” to start stuff or something, but what stakes do i have in any of this? you and yours drove me out of the hobby i’ve loved since i was 12, used an rpt blog to force me to defend myself against your ugly claims at a time you Knew well and good i was absent and dealing with a family death ( and then came in my dms to comfort me ??? you and k both. ) . i lost all of my best friends of several years. trust me, i want no part of the rpc anymore. i don’t want back in. i don’t want to engage. this is a nothing tumblr account that ill never use again. consider, instead, that another person close to the situation and i shared similar experiences and realized there were too many untruths and inconsistencies to let it rest, rather than just ‘starting stuff’ to start stuff.
“sid says steph crops screenshots to make them look incriminating” aye , but i definitely gave my entire discord login out, more than once, and encouraged my friend at the time to go ahead and look for themselves ( they declined at the time. i can still give the login i really do not care. though idk if the login will work anymore bc the accounts been deactivated for, uh, 6 months.) i cropped ss where earthp members were telling me how K is making them uncomfortable and how they were worried lenny was being dragged around by K, that i did do. and i STILL let k know that that’s what they were saying. i can’t stress enough ive got Nothing here that im fighting for i just think its ugly to lie for so long to everyone
“steph heavily hates sid” i do not. note the last thing i said to sid, up there ^. we did follow each other on tiktok then, and then we didn’t speak for 6 months. as of this morning, we are no longer tiktok mutuals - so it goes. sid never owed me anything. i don’t hate them. they know ( and yk what, so do my irl work managers!!! bc this shit affected my actual real mental health!!! ) that the day things went down, i left work early sobbing full blown emotional episode, writing paragraphs in desperation, to the point of overwhelming them and myself. i loved them dearly, called them my ‘spouse’ and best friend everyday, etc. though i don’t know now if they knew more about you than they let on. anyway……. please don’t just be declaring shit about me like it’s fact ?? i don’t hate anyone. not even you dream! just stop lyinggggg i hate that
ye all made me feel like i was crazy and losing myself in my own paranoia omg??? and ye were in your private chats afterward going “well deserved!!!” who even are you what did i do to you omgggg are we not in our late 20s with lives and careers ?????
if this is all bc of heddie/reddie and avengefm ? its ships dude it’s dolls it’s not real and to commit so much energy and emotion to lying to protect ur ships/rps is troubling at best. and if its not about heddie/reddie, then i haven’t a NOTION bc you and i, even when we were friendly w each other, were not close enough to create a bond to break??? i didnt do anything to you but welcome you into my writing spaces and engage in yours to the best of my ability. i was transparent with you when my activity struggled or i needed a break for mental health reasons… but what you had done with your friends is what ruined my mental health ?… go figure ….
i know who was behind that blog because they came clean and told me your connection to it as well. i know sel said nasty things about me too - we’re human and humans love talking shit. but no one else ever took it as far as you did, dream.
i don’t want anything from you! just stop lying on my name i don’t “heavily hate” anyone. outside of my shit talking from 6mos ago, i haven’t said a word against anyone but yourself; i’ve called you a liar, here in this post, because that is what i believe you are.
nobody in my entire life brings up what happened in everwell more than you and k. i owned up to every part i had ( whether directly or by my unavailability, all of it ), i deplatformed and cut out my two best friends ( people i had had in my HOME and had met IRL they were real people to me!!!!! ) and apologized personally to everyone affected, while picking out a funeral outfit and consoling my crying family. these are all my cards on table. you don’t have to respond either. just omg quit lying about me and the way i feel and what my intentions are - if a mf wants to know what im thinking and feeling, they can just Ask me.
and k i don’t want anything from you either! your names in this post because you were involved, and you know your involvement with that blog and how you also came to console me after. outside of that, i do not think of you and do not care what you think of me.
sid, i don’t want anything from u all either and i meant it when i said if i never hear from you again, take care bc i did care for u lots and also invited you into my home bc you were a real person to me. just know for a fact that anything dream says i’m saying about you or feeling toward you is just pulled out of thin air for whatever reason.
i always thought ye all were great writers!!! and so did snags and lex, way back when it was about writing for the love of writing. i would say all the time “omg dream is so funny” “omg k is cracking me up”, and they’d agree. hell if they’re at all in the rpc anymore and see this - hey guys! sorry shit got so ugly. you’ll never guess who was behind it.
i left the rpc and got mental help. i hope ye can get some help too.
* this is dream bringing sel into the Issues and tying her directly to k, btw. you keep saying you didn’t bring sel into the k stuff, but “they’re besties” “she and sel” “they want peach to drop eddie so sel can pick up eddie” this is where we’re getting that from, bc you keep saying you only referenced sel’s activity and didn’t connect her to k at all. i cropped out sids response. i can add it if need be but it’s just sid believing you.
this is where i’m pulling what im referencing in this post from. the second half is censored bc it doesn’t have to do with me.
this is me texting my irl work manager on the day sid and i last spoke. i was distraught and emotional and crying but ok yeah i “heavily hate” sid when the way everything went down broke me to bits OKAYYY
the censored names are the names of my irl managers like it was So Serious so don’t try putting words in my mouth about sid.
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a better update
it is December 28, 2022 n my year has been a big learning lesson. a lot of it, most of it, really hurt. I chose myself a lot this year and completed my year’s resolution which is to set boundaries. I honestly dont understand why I took this long to act upon the things I want 4 myself but im not surprised. im a very stubborn person and all I do is deflect by creating a different scenario in my brain. das why ive been in this continuous cycle of getting played by the game and I jus..let it happen. I craved things that were not ready 4 me and it made me realize how I keep repeating it LMAOOO but this year I broke some serious habits and reenforced the comfortability of my space. therapy helped a lot (shout out Tina Merced, you are a very kind woman. u are one of the only people who has figured me out..) and having a positive feedback ab my decisions and how I think helps me understand myself. it felt (past tense/explain later) really good to just focus on what I plan 2 do next year. last year I just really wanted to show up 4 everyone more so I ended up acting upon emotion rather than balancing it out w/ what’s realistic. *I forgot what word 2 use in the last sentence so I went on my phone to change the song and then I remembered. I'm listening 2 defibrillator by smino*
anyways, yeah this year I showed up for myself even if it hurt a lot to let go and I feel a lil lighter. im guilty of a lot, especially how present I am in my rlsps, and I am still for a bit more, but im doing better and those close 2 me see it. I said this all in past tense because Im a lil hurt right now, but it's just an owie. I allowed myself 2 give someone a benefit of the doubt and I feel as if they abused it a little. I know when I reread this in the future 2 reflect, I'll know exactly what im talking about. rather than feeling sad, im SO disappointed. i was feeling a lil better and I thought that would be okay, but I shouldn't disregard my accomplishments cus they're worthy of celebrating. allowing myself to forgive but just being proven right is horrible. it was a real wake up call to continue my self love journey cus I was getting some where and it was somewhere good. my best friend told me that “I know youre a good person and you do too so u dont have to give people multiple chances to prove that” and it struck hard (but 4 the better). I appreciate the transparency that I have w/ my friendships cus w/o it, I probably wouldn't b able to keep myself accountable, but I have been recently and thats why 2023 is going to be a good year. I wonder what karmic situations im going 2 be in. im not anticipating bad, but I can handle some lessons. im allowing myself 2 learn and thats my true end goal. at the end of the day, im just figuring it out. I dont think im doing that bad, but some reassurance would b amazing. I know I am worthy of everything I desire. to have, to feel, to experience. Im going 2 move forward so I can live better 4 myself. by doing that, taking this time, I can show up better. I want 2 do better, b better, all the things ive imagined myself to b. I cant believe I spent so much time settling 4 what I have cus Im constantly validated. the issues r real. I need 2 tell Tina ab this bcuz it makes so much sense. people pleasing cus nothing I ever did pleased my dad. that shit hurtsss, not gonna lie. but thats what I mean, im learning more and applying what I have 2 in my life and its working. by realizing that the pattern exists bcuz I dont rly speak or ever knew that was an issue. it hurts a bit 2 realize that someone who was a part of my life is now booted out of the next year. in pain bcuz I sat through conversations of him telling me how much he loves me, and how I cld b his polly pocket so he could take me everywhere, and how his family loves me, and all these other things and he STILL ran w/ what he wanted. honesty is the best policy and this lil set up pushed me to let go and let live. I wish I cld cry more, im purging the fuck outta this because I cannot let it repeat anymore. I also learned that some people only last so long in your life bcuz of how you coexist together. cutting ties w/ ppl you used to b family with takes a piece of you that dissipates like the rlsps thats gone. sounds dramatic, but that breakup was horrible. also, my dating life was quite the shit show. had my hinge phase, coworkers phase, toxic situation ship (two of those..at the same time but in my defense I was nvr asked 2 b a gf.), & my celibate phase. I nvr intended 2 dissect but it was rough 4 everyone I know and myself. im blessed enough 2 be surrounded by people who want whats best 4 me cus the goal is something we all agree on. 2022 you helped me show up 4 myself better. 2023 were going 2 show up better for ourselves and those around us. ive realized so much (1:11am , im sry in advance) & Ima share w/ some privacy of course. high school situationships r finally cut and I jus cant believe it but im happy 4 everyone whos living in love. realizing im the problem , speaks for itself. im officially tired. thats an update 4 ya
my fit 2day
goodnight
happy new year
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a short letter
hi friends ! wanted 2 share a couple thoughts nd ideas with u if thats alright . ive been finding it really hard to connect with people lately , everyone seems so far away . idk if its dissociation from ptsd or just growing apart but it feels like there is a lot of distance between me n a lot of ppl in my life . n idk thats a bit strange . i feel like a stranger in a lot of places where i used 2 feel like an important piece . i suppose thats what happens when u grow , some things make less sense but eventually things will make sense again . most things dont make sense anymore honestly . even typing this i dont really feel real . dissociation has been really hard for me . after getting out of an abusive relationship its been hard to feel how i think things used to feel (and even on tumblr im kind of scared of saying those words out loud, im really afraid of that person even though i dont want to let that fear control me). idk ptsd is really scary . its not like anything ive faced before in my life . people tell me it gets easier and i believe them but a part of me is scared that things just keep making less and less sense . but in another way , every problem you face u have the wisdom and growth of every problem u have faced before at ur back . i used to have an eating disorder but cooking has become a super important part of my life , and i think im really good at it and its been rewarding to share that with my mom and people i love . im the highest weight ive ever been in my entire life and ive for the most part overcome my disorder and eating related trauma . so even if im sad and disconnected from people , at least i am giving my body the fuel it needs to continue living . i haven't spoken about really any of this in public and i guess this kind of secret tumblr acc feels safe for me to be a bit more candid and long form for once . i can't really use twitter in that way anymore , mainly for boundaries and mental health reasons . but yeah i guess a lot of things have been strange lately . idc if nobody rly gets my music anymore . even if it doesnt appear to be , if u see it as jus being like flexing or some shit whatever , it is like a deep expression of a lot of emotions im feeling . n i dont feel the need to explain it 2 anyone i prefer 2 let my art speak for itself . my art is the only place i feel like i can be free and honest and genuine nd create something that is a true expression of myself and that matters more 2 me than anything else . a lot of ppl i kno wld be lost w/o seeing a bunch of numbers . but when u making music for someone else u have already lost , u have chosen to surrender your space to what u are guessing someone else wants . no truly meaningful art can come from a place like that . sharing a little song i made , was produced by maiden who is an incredibly talented and kind soul nd i will link their sc under this u should listen 2 their songs ! im not sure if this song will ever be a part of something larger but since u read my long rambling thing i wanted 2 share one of my favorite songs ive made , in case its never on anything else . thank u for caring about my art and supporting me. often the love i feel from all of you overpowers the discord in my mind. and even if my art is made for myself, seeing that this expression of myself connects with so many people is deeply deeply meaningful to me. im excited and incredibly grateful for the opportunity to connect with as many of you as i can during tour next month. if you see me around before or after the show feel free to say hi, your support means so so much. i love you - meadow (pluto)
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thank you for the tag @twogyuu !!
rules: post the top 5 works you're most proud of that you released in 2022 (not necessarily your most popular), your top 4 current WIPs that you're excited to release in the new year, your top 3 biggest improvements in your writing over the past year, your top 2 resolutions (ways you wish to improve your writing/blog) for the new year, and your number 1 favorite line you've written this year!
oof okay so this one is already gonna be hard because... everything on this blog rn was released in the year 2022. idk how many fics that is, but its a ton.
also sorry you can tell when my mood seriously dropped off during this
5 works i’m most proud of from 2022
under the sun: yes, i know she’s not finished yet. i debated including her because of it, but i’m genuinely proud of what i’ve written for UtS so far!! hopefully i’ll finish the fic next year, thank you all for bearing with me as i finished off school since that too precedence over most things (+ sometimes i just need a break from longer projects like UtS), i’m hoping to have wonwoo’s part out soon! but i think there’s a lot in this fic that i’m definitely in love with, primarily the world building. i feel most in my element when i work on UtS and the vaguely supernatural background it has, all wrapped up with a sweeter romance in most cases. without spoiling anything, i’m genuinely excited to eventually get to cheol’s part. whether the series ends with his part or continues on to a different title for the alternate ending, i feel like cheol’s part functions as something encompassing a lot of what this series means.
lonely hearts club: ah, lhc. my beloved. i genuinely have such a soft spot for wonwoo, and this is actually a series written in full! its been a while since i’ve done one of those lmao. i think my writing has come a way since i wrote lhc, and i think if i were to rewrite it, there’s things i’d add in--but she has a special place in my heart nonetheless. writing wonwoo as someone who is soft and loving is genuinely just something i enjoy because i feel like i rarely see it sometimes. he’s just a big ole softie who’s quiet and i love it about him.
sweet night: another unfinished one, i know, but... i think there’s parts of sweet night that i genuinely enjoy writing a lot. i think it’s pretty telling how every fic i’ve listed so far is pretty damn plot heavy (because genuinely that is what i love writing!!) and this one is no different. plus, i think this one has a special place for me because it’s technically a collaborative piece with several anons from a mutual’s blog (if you see this, hi sol! hi anons! thank you again for giving me permission to write this fic!) and i think collaborative works are fun. but there’s also some heavier emotions that i do like addressing.
a mermaid’s kiss: a short one! but i do love her. idk i just love vague mermaid lore and joshua was a rly good fit for this au.
enouement / singing in the rain: ok so im linking both of these here bc SitR is a retelling of enouement as a skz fic. idk why i was abt to say both of these flopped when they did decent. i guess i just don’t hear much feedback on either of them? they both have a special place in my heart. enouement was the first long fic i posted and one i was excited to write, while the other was just one that i have some lines in that i really like.
4 current WIPs for the new year
the rest of under the sun + [potentially] shadow: ok im cheating here but genuinely i’m excited to eventually finish UtS and hopefully still have the juice to write what i’ve been titling shadow! it’s the alt ending, name currently pending. just assume any series i haven’t finished, i’m hoping to finish next year.
i can’t run away: a vernon fic that feels kinda venty. it’s angst with no happy ending. title also might change a little, but i do like keeping it as it is now.
[WORKING TITLE ALERT] 88/134: a bang chan fic! its another chubby!fem!reader long fic because i can’t be stopped. might change the title later, but it was a reference to apparently how long it takes people to fall in love (men 88 days, women 134 according to a study i have linked on the google doc)
topsy turvy: both versions even though one will be titled differently!! :)
3 biggest improvements
honestly? just motivating myself to write in general. sometimes i hit dry spells, sure, but i’ve been getting better about forcing myself to sit down and write most days.
idk i just feel like i’ve found my style a bit more. focusing on emotions within a plot just fits into what i enjoy writing the most.
properly planning things (most of the time) and sticking to writing out those plans. trust me when i say i never used to plan things out.
2 resolutions
writing the full goddamn fic before posting it OR at least finishing all the plans first.
write more for non-svt groups. please.. @ myself this blog was started for svt AND trsr.
1 favorite line
ughh i think i usually end up having multiple lines that i like in fics so i’ll just pick one at random:
If eternal love took the form of a person, then that truly was you. You’d always have one part of his love tied to you, no matter how far away he went. That was the funny thing about love: you gave up parts of yourself for someone else. Wonwoo might always see you in the books he’d read, in the stores he passed, in the world itself. One day the pain would fade, but his love would always rest with you whether you knew it or not. He tried to think of what the Twitter account would say. Part of him wanted to message it, even if the person running it was on a break. But what could they say to comfort him? That it was okay to be hurt, that they were sorry for encouraging him? That love was a leap of faith and sometimes you fall but it’ll all be okay?
They said falling was the best part of love. If it was, then the impact of hitting the ground was the worst.
(from pt.10 of lonely hearts club)
i will simply mention some ppl and no one has to do it if they don’t want to @junkissed @thepixelelf @husbandhannie
#wooahaes.txt#wooahaes.tagged#my mental health took like. a random fuckin hit so im gonna go curl up in bed now n hopefully sleep
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this is my fav series. (yes i've said it a hundred time and i'll say it a hundred times more). i absolutely loved this ep lol, it was the right amount of lore with crack. their dynamics take me out everytime lmao. i love how you characterised all of them !! and ofc my fave parts below!!
“There's no room for but Y/n.” Seungcheol finally spoke, looking up. “Quest season is approaching and we cannot have a weak link on the team.”
??? weren't you trying to kiss her just yesterday ???
“Are you keeping tabs on me, newbie?” Mingyu bent down, smirking at you. “Can I consider you interested?” “Your schedules are on the white board genius.” You rolled your eyes, letting him go and pointing at it. “We need to talk.”
smh, the realities of living with 13 men
“The house Gyu, my house. I have a final plan for it.”
THE HOUSE, YOU IDIOT
“I was bored and jerked off.” Soonyoung washed up his bowl, shaking the water off his hands. “It was a good one.”
?? uhm, thanks for the save ig (he's a sweetie pie)
Or could they? Because Jihoon was yet again looking at you like he knew everything
when does he not? i love his lil character lmao
“Though if those are your concerns, you can move into my house. I live close to the Great hall and I have a loft - you won’t have any issues there.” Oh no. No no. You weren't about to fall from the frying pan into the fire.
lmao, frying pan into fire–also like yk gyu is like the son of hephaestus and fire and ikyk. I love your writing skills mia!!
you had in fact, caught him butt naked.
uh? asdfghjkl
He simply grabbed a towel, wrapped himself and walked straight past you into the locker rooms like you didn't even exist,
LMFAOOO
“For someone who is the daughter of Hestia, hospitality isn't really your trait is it?
thanks ig
He leaned back with a small smile. “I don’t read people’s minds but their bodies. I can tell when one is sick, or hungry….or even horny.”
ah yes, cough cough mr. healer, i feel very sick, will you please check ^3^
it’s different and my guess is it has something to do with being Hestia’s daughter.”
im very invested in this lore btw. It’s just itches my brain the right away :))
Sighing, Jihoon sat down beside you. “You can’t allow yourself to be governed by emotions Y/n. You are the result of a God’s lack of resistance to impulses - those who sit in Olympus have their own flaws. If you run your whole life seeking their validation, you will keep running. They will keep you running.”
that got deep real quick. And also a very good life advice. Ngl, i kept thinking about this line
“Funny that a man who pairs socks with sandals is judging me about my outfit.”
that is so foul, choi seungcheol. wth, he is a man afterall
“Can I ride with you?” You turned to Mingyu, looking at him just a little pleadingly.
well my friend over here actually meant to ask if she can ride yo-
“I’ve been to funerals better than this.”
help??? lmaoo
“Maybe because it’s an illegal blend?” Seokmin shrugged before realising what he had let slip. “You cannot tell anyone. Everyone in camp will kill him and Soonyoung will resurrect and kill me.”
lmao, very characteristic of seokmin to say shit he’s not supposed to
Soonyoung laughed, nonchalantly wiping the cream at the edge of your lips with his thumb.
what are we soonyoung?
Though you didn't have the intention of continuing anything at all with Soonyoung, something about being interrupted this way stung differently.
... that rly did sting
She looked away, pretending like she was thinking before turning back to him with a smirk. “Yes, I do. I didn't wear any underwear today.”
nahhh. woman, trust me, i dont wanna know any of that
He doesn't really care for them because he knows it's a mere chemical attraction thanks to his dad.
for some reason “mere chemical attraction thanks to his dad” is tickling my funny bone more than it should. But still lmao
Joshua? You frowned. How could he be anything but a sweetheart? Soonyoung’s girlfriend maybe was an obnoxious toad but not Joshua. He was flawless.
LMFAO?? TOAD??
Minghao’s eyes darkened as he looked at you wordlessly. Strangely, you felt something shift inside you too - oh god he was right.
clears throat WHY IS EVERYONE SO HORN—nvm this is an aphrodite rager
“No.” Minghao shook his head, silencing the voices behind him as he slid his bracelet off his wrist and hooked it to the door handle, eyes not leaving you even once. “Get in.”
i–yes
“I'll owe you one.” You sighed. “Whenever, wherever, please Minghao….” “Remember those words.” He whispered, his hand snaking around your waist to unbutton your shorts, fingers lingering over your skin.
😌😌😌
“Good boy.”
sub soonyoung, anyday, anytime, anyplace, everywhe–
Except deep down you knew it must mean something if despite being drugged Soonyoung rejected his girlfriend because of you and Minghao who was a man of impeccable self control was crumbling for you.
... yes
“Bold of you to assume this is my first time.” Soonyoung smirked as he sucked off Minghao's fingers and you grinned to yourself. Atta boy.
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
“That’s my good girl.” “Xu Mingao.” Soonyoung groaned as the other man drew back. “What the hell?!” Minghao simply chuckled. “You know how much I enjoy pain.”
GOOD GIRL?!? I ENJOY PAIN?!?!?
“Didn’t you say you could watch her all day?” He smirked at the older man, hand snaking around your waist. “Now watch.”
cocky minghao is doing smthn to me
You simply stared wordlessly, as the blonde man's eyes found you, flickering from the jacket you had donned, to Soonyoung's hand which was still holding yours. Behind him lightning cracked opened the sky and rain began pouring furiously.
well fuck you too seungcheol. ngl, i giggled like hell reading the last line
Camp Seventeen: Chapter 2
Pairing - Afab!reader x ot13 (Soonyoung x reader x Minghao)
Word count - 13K
Genre - Greek Demigod AU! We’ve got crack, smut, fluff , angst, hurt, comfort, all of it in this series, buckle up!
Previous chapter
Chapter summary - As you delve deeper into the world of the demigods, a party throws you spiraling down a road less taken. While it seems there's one member who may be able to help you with it, there's another you want to lend a hand to. And more.
A/n - I do have a taglist so comment on this post to be added! And if you enjoyed reading, please don't forget to leave feedback in the comments or tags - we've got lots of chapters to go and hearing thoughts really helps <3
Smut warnings - I'm trying this thing where I won't be adding any detailed warnings as of now now, I will be including them after 1 week instead! I'm trying to keep the suspense for those who are interested but I understand there might be some of you who are wary of reading certain things - I will be adding warnings for your sake in a week's time! (There are no trigger warnings for this fic though!)
(edited) - Sexual tension phew, fingering (f.receiving), male masturbation, oral (m.receiving), threesome, sub-ish Soonyoung, dom Minghao, slight mlm? (feeding her cum), couple of spanks, unprotected sex (plis refrain), they're kinda rough - she's struggling to breathe, Minghao is mean and a bit of a sadist, deepthroating, edging, marking, hickies, sloppy seconds, they both finish inside her, I think that's about it?
Today you slept with both the windows and the curtains closed.
Not just Seungcheol's eagle, even the late morning sun couldn't wake you up, leading to you casually strolling into the dining hall, late in the day. As you walked in, still dressed in your pajamas, twelve heads turned towards you, following your every step.
Seokmin turned towards Seungcheol who's gaze was fixed on his food, like it was adamant not to meet yours. Hesitating, the former cleared his throat, taking one for the team, questioning you instead.
“You uh….didn't come to train today.”
“Yes, I didn’t.”
Walking in, you grabbed a banana from the fruit bowl and sat as far away from Seungcheol as possible. If anyone noticed the hostility between the two of you, they didn't say anything. Seokmin looked at you like he was expecting to hear more - then he realised that was all you had for an answer.
“Why didn't you…...”
“I got wet in the rain last night.” You munched on your fruit. “Felt sick in the morning.”
A part of you expected at least one of them to have the decency to ask you how you were doing now but all the boys simply exchanged looks. As you frowned at them confused, Joshua finally looked at you. “Demigods don't fall sick Y/n.”
You blinked. “What?”
“We're half gods, so uh…. stuff like bacteria and viruses don't really have an effect against us.”
Suddenly, at that point, the last 25 years of your life made a little more sense - you realised you hadn't ever fallen sick. You also realised that last weekend when you offered to watch a movie with Seungcheol because the two of you were alone in the house, he had declined, stating he had a cold and didn't want to pass it on.
Of course he lied. All that man did was lie.
Scoffing, you shook your head. “Of course we don't.”
“Is there a problem?” Minghao narrowed his eyes at you conspicuously. “Any particular reason you couldn't or didn't want to come?”
Sighing, you shook your head. “It's just been hard getting used to things, I'm trying but-”
“There's no room for but Y/n.” Seungcheol finally spoke, looking up. “Quest season is approaching and we cannot have a weak link on the team.”
“Cheol.” Jeonghan cautioned, looking at him just a little sternly. “Enough.”
Seungcheol stared back at Jeonghan like he wanted to retort but when the latter shook his head at him, he got up, throwing his plate into the sink a lot louder than anyone had expected.
If Chan hadn’t muttered that the cab was ready to leave, you would have exploded - how dare he? He was the one who hinted at something more last night and he was the one who had left you in the middle of the storm so why was he behaving like this was your fault?? But before you could say anything, Seungcheol and the members going for morning shifts grabbed their things and set out for the day, unusually quietly. As Mingyu began to follow the crowd, you held him by his wrist,
“Where are you going? You don’t have work today?”
“Are you keeping tabs on me, newbie?” Mingyu bent down, smirking at you. “Can I consider you interested?”
“Your schedules are on the white board genius.” You rolled your eyes, letting him go and pointing at it. “We need to talk.”
Mingyu frowned, both confused and curious.
“The house Gyu, my house. I have a final plan for it.”
“Oh! Okay sure let’s go-”
“Wait.” Joshua stood up shaking his head. “I don't know what's going on with you Y/n, but unlike Cheol, I cannot walk away from what I am responsible for in this camp. You're going to put that fruit down-” He pointed at the plum you just reached for. “-go shower, have a full breakfast and then you can sit with Mingyu and finalise whatever you have to.”
“But Shua-”
“No.” He said in a tone that you knew meant that this was not open for any more discussion as he turned towards the man who was stuffing his face with cereal. “And Kwon Soonyoung, why are your sheets still in the dryer?”
Oh fuck.
Soonyoung looked at you confused - you had completely forgotten about that.
“I uh couldn't carry them back in the rain last night.” He muttered, drinking the last of his milk straight from the bowl, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. “I'll take them now.”
“Why did you need to wash your sheets in the middle of the night?” Hansol frowned at the man beside him sceptical and Soonyoung glanced at you but you were suddenly deeply interested in some random crack on the table surface.
“I was bored and jerked off.” Soonyoung washed up his bowl, shaking the water off his hands. “It was a good one.”
Hansol groaned disgusted and you looked at Soonyoung scandalised as he shot you a cheeky wink before disappearing out of the hall. A part of you was kind of relieved - you were worried after last night, especially considering what he said as you were leaving. Perhaps you heard it wrong because Soonyoung seemed just as relaxed as ever, like nothing had changed.
You were thankful for that - now things could go back to like they were before.
Or could they? Because Jihoon was yet again looking at you like he knew everything
“This is your final plan?”
“Yes.”
“Isn't this the first plan you had made?”
“Yes.”
“Y/n,” Mingyu groaned. “If you wanted to do this we could have finalised it days ago.”
“I told you, I was confused about the whole bathroom situation.” You muttered, tracing mindless patterns over the floor plan. “Let's just make the residence alone. I'll adjust with the common showers.”
“We can still arrange to build a bathroom for you.” Joshua glanced at the papers. “Since we have to divert water pipes, it'll just take a little longer-”
“No.” You gripped the pencil tight. “I don't want anything that takes a little longer. I want this house made as soon as possible so I can shift to my own space.”
Your adamance was definitely new but neither boys commented on it. Instead Mingyu pulled out his phone and scrolled through clumsily.
“I need to place an order for the brick and cement and sure Chan has got a decently sized cab but it's going to take a couple of trips to bring the whole load.” He sighed, not looking up. “It's going to take a couple of weeks to get the house ready-”
“No, no no.” You shook your head. This couldn't be happening. “I need my own house as soon as possible, Mingyu….” You looked away rambling as both men frowned. “I'm in my final year, I've uh got projects and submissions to work on. The library isn't well lit enough to study all night and Seungcheol's house is too far from the charging station in the Great Hall, I can't keep making such long trips just to charge my laptop? What if it rains like last night again? What if all my stuff gets wet and-”
“Okay, okay, I get it.” Mingyu set his phone down and tried to calm you down. “Though if those are your concerns, you can move into my house. I live close to the Great hall and I have a loft - you won’t have any issues there.”
Oh no. No no. You weren't about to fall from the frying pan into the fire.
“No Mingyu, what I need is my own space, like every other member of the camp.” You sighed. “And I know it's a lot to ask but I hope we can be done with it fast.”
“I really wish I could help Y/n.” He looked at you pitifully. “You’re an architect, you know the kind of time it takes to build a house. Maybe if you had opted for something simpler, like a wooden cabin-”
“Can you build that faster?”
“I mean we do live in the middle of a forest and I do have automations to cut trees-”
“How long will a wooden cabin take?”
“A few days.” Mingyu rubbed his chin in thought. “Provided it doesn't rain or-”
“Do it.”
Both men looked surprised.
“You're sure?” Joshua spoke up this time. “Wooden homes tend to feel colder, it would also be harder to-”
“I'm sure.” You nodded, gathering the sheets. “I'll have to make a few amendments to the layout then you can start. Meanwhile, why don't you go ahead now with the….. wood gathering?”
Mingyu nodded, stuffing his phone into his pocket, resting his face on his interlocked hands.
“What're you waiting for Mingyu?”
“Now as in right now??”
“Yes right now.” You looked at him like it was obvious. “Please.”
Joshua nodded, signalling Mingyu to leave and grumbling, the bigger man left, much to your relief. Just a few more days. You could handle a few more days with Seungcheol, right?
“You cannot.” Joshua turned to you. “You cannot survive with a group of people if you don't communicate Y/n. Do you want to tell me what's going on?”
You let out a deep breath considering it for a minute but then shook your head. “It's not worth discussing. I'll deal with it on my own.”
“Well you better do it fast because,” Joshua pulled out a sheet from his bag and slid it across the table to you. “Things are about to get a lot more hectic.”
You were too scared to extend your hand and reach for that paper. Good god, what else was in store for you.
“Seokmin and Minghao are already covering physical training for you but being a demigod is so much more than just combat - you need to learn about this world, about its people, about the laws that govern it.” He looked at you apologetically. “I've drafted a schedule where the members will cover these different areas with you. Of course you will have time for your own obligations but you will also have to strictly adhere to the rest…..”
Joshua's words trailed off as your eyes landed on the timetable and the names scribbled on them.
You counted 12 names, all the members were scheduled to help you except-
“Wonwoo.” You breathed out. “His name isn't….here?”
“Yeah…” Joshua scratched the back of his head. “Wonwoo isn't really available for stuff like this, he's got other things to do….”
Of course he did. He was a top secret government official, he did guard duty at night, he was working on your case too, you could understand that he was busy.
But what you didn't understand was why he always ignored you. Even earlier when you popped into the showers forgetting that Wonwoo usually washed himself much after everyone, you had in fact, caught him butt naked.
Any normal person would've covered himself up or at least responded to your small scream, quick turn and innumerable apologies but Wonwoo? He simply grabbed a towel, wrapped himself and walked straight past you into the locker rooms like you didn't even exist, the trademark scent of his perfume the only thing lingering behind.
“Y/n where are you lost?”
You shook your head. “I was just thinking about how the bath house would've been more efficient if the showers were attached to the locker room so we didn't have to walk so far in a towel to change.”
Joshua looked at you like he didn't understand a word you were saying. Or why you were saying it.
“It's just…. I'm just being an architect, don't bother.” You shook your head then the paper. “Thank you for this.”
“No worries.” He smiled sweetly, getting up, leaving you to your breakfast. “I see your first lesson is History of the Gods. Unfortunately I think Chan is busy with some delivery in the evening so, it'll be just you and Jihoon. I hope you'll attend the lesson earnestly.”
You nodded, giving him a hard smile.
How were you supposed to last 2 hours with a man who read you like an open book?
The darkness behind your closed eyelids was supposed to be comforting. That's why you were lounging in your chair, half asleep while waiting for Jihoon to show up. But somehow, it felt like you were being watched and sure enough when you opened your eyes, the face of your instructor of the day was inches away from you.
“Jesus Christ Jihoon…” You sat up scrambling, pulling yourself away from him. “Why didn’t you say something?”
“You're tired.” He tucked his hands in his pockets walking back. “I was wondering if I should let you rest-”
“I'm fine.”
“-but it's strange considering you skipped training and slept all morning, yet you're incredibly sleep deprived.” Leaning back against the table he looked at you amused. “What might have happened last night that exhausted you so?”
Words refused to leave your mouth considering you didn't know if he was teasing you or actually concerned. Given the last few days you assumed it was the former and ignored him as you began closing all the books you had strewn on the table before you.
“I see you're doing pre reading.”
“Chan gave these to me before he left for work. He said I should read to understand better.”
“Did you?”
Of course you didn't. You were almost snoring away and Jihoon saw that, yet he asked the question like he wanted you to feel embarrassed about the answer.
“I thought you were supposed to teach me.” You shut the last book and glared at him. “If you just expect me to just read off a book, I don’t see why you’re required here.”
“Are you suggesting I leave my own class?” He raised his eyebrow amused. “I’m going to have to disappoint you but unlike some, I take what I’m told at camp seriously.”
You glared at him like you were contemplating throwing the book straight at him and you almost did when he walked around the table, sat down on the chair and cocked his head at you.
“For someone who is the daughter of Hestia, hospitality isn't really your trait is it?
“How would I know, aren’t you supposed to be teaching me about this God stuff?”
“I am.” He nodded, crossing his arms. “But it depends on how much the mortal world has already taught you.”
“I’ve never really bothered myself with Greek mythology.” You rolled your eyes. “They’re just stories for bored children.”
“Except they aren’t. They are your reality.”
“Not by choice.” You mumbled. You did not wish to be an outcast in the only world you knew and thrown here. You did not wish for any of this.
“Parentage is no one’s choice.” Jihoon sighed. “But to be a demigod is a gift. It’s a shame that you disregard your power.”
“What power?” You scoffed. “I don’t have any….” Trailing off you gulped.
That was a lie.
“I am the Son of Apollo which means I was there at the Court of Delphi when the Oracle assigned you.” Jihoon reminded you of the fateful night.
The night when a couple of masked men had forcibly picked you from your dorm, throwing you into a large room of unknown people and a round crystal in the middle on an altar. No sooner than you took a scared, confused step forward it spoke - Daughter of Hestia, Camp Seventeen.
“The Oracle only recognises those who have God's blood. So if you’re telling me you don’t have any powers and this is all a mistake, you must think I’m an idiot.”
“If you’re so smart-” You narrowed your eyes at him. “-why don’t you do that mind reading thing you do and figure out what my powers are?”
“I can’t read minds Y/n,” Jihoon looked at you quizzically. “I’m not Athena’s progeny.”
“Y-you can’t? But all these days…..” You blinked at him confused. “Oh my god, can Jeonghan??”
He shook his head. “Neither can Jeonghan. Not all of Athena’s children are mind readers. I’ve only ever come across one in my life and if she wasn’t busy shuffling through everyone’s brain in the quest, perhaps she wouldn’t have been killed.”
You opened your mouth and then shut it, unsure which of the hundred questions in your mind to ask first.
“If you really must know, my father is the God of Medicine which makes me a natural healer.” He leaned back with a small smile. “I don’t read people’s minds but their bodies. I can tell when one is sick, or hungry….or even horny.”
You gulped, feeling your heartbeat raise. Could he tell that too?
“It goes without saying that a demigod's powers are associated with their parentage. So as the daughter of the Goddess of Hearth and Home, I’m assuming you have some sort of bond with fire.”
Tightening your fists, you refused to meet his eye.
It made sense why you never told anyone in the human world about your ability to create fire out of thin air but somehow you couldn’t bring yourself to tell anyone in the demi-world either.
You had seen the powers the boys had - Seokmin was the son of Posiedon, God of the Sea, but he couldn’t create water, only bend it. And Mingyu? His father was the literal God of Fire and even he was only immune to flames.
But you, birthing fire from thin air? Something told you that even in the world of demigods, the world where you belonged, you were a freak.
“Or maybe I’m an architect because of you know, the ‘home’ bit.”
“I don’t think so. Your college preference is pretty much just a personal interest.”
“Then I guess I don’t have any powers.” You shrugged. “Maybe the Oracle made a mistake.”
“The Oracle isn’t human. It never makes mistakes.”
“Then maybe my powers are too insignificant for us to care. I mean think about it - what can the daughter of such a goddess have to offer? I most definitely don’t have anything of value.”
Jihoon stared at you like he had too many thoughts.
“Do you know the life cycle of a demigod?”
You shook your head confused about where he was going with this.
“Not everyone born half breed inherits powers and even if they do, it is dormant until puberty. At the ages of 16 to 18, demigods are at their highest energies which gives them an aura that makes them instantly identifiable - the stronger their abilities, the stronger the aura. After they are picked either by their parents or our scout force, they’re taken to the Oracle who puts them in camp where they will be best suited to train and learn to harness their powers. If a demigod isn’t placed in camp by 18, you best believe that they are dead.”
“Huh?” You blinked. “Why is that?”
“Because either the inability to handle their own powers will kill them or in rare cases, monsters.”
“M-monsters?”
“There’s always good and bad in the world. Where you have gods, you have monsters too.” Jihoon opened one of the books to a page filled with sketches of the most gruesome creatures you’d ever seen. “Most of our predecessors have already locked up many of these in the Underworld but there are still some out there, lurking around. If they sense an aura and you aren’t trained for combat, you don’t stand a chance.”
“So you think because I’ve managed to survive the last seven years, on my own and untrained, I am powerful?” You frowned. “Did you consider the fact that perhaps my aura was so weak no one could detect me?”
“I did. That was my first assumption till the Oracle.” He leaned onto the table. “Even Gods have to touch the orb for a reading but your mere presence lit her up Y/n. Your aura isn’t weak, it’s different and my guess is it has something to do with being Hestia's daughter.”
You hummed, trying to make sense of things. “Well, did the same thing happen with her other children?”
Jihoon shook his head. “We don’t know. Unfortunately for us, there are no other known children of Hestia - you are the first ever.”
You stared at him, letting the weight of his words sink in.
“I’m her only child?”
Jihoon nodded slowly.
If that were true, the whole of last week made no sense. Ever since you had discovered the temple, you had been trying to reach out to your mother every other hour. You assumed she might have been busy or probably had too many places to be to tend to you, but to learn that you were her only progeny and she still didn’t care hurt differently.
Scoffing sadly you shook your head. “What kind of mother doesn’t care about her only child?”
“One who is not proud of her momentary lapse of judgement.”
“What do you mean?”
Jihoon sighed. “Hestia is one of the three virgin goddesses, along with Artemis and Athena. She’s not supposed to have any offspring, much less one with a human. If anything, you are a walking talking symbol of her weakness.”
“I am her child-”
“In theory.” Jihoon emphasised. “But in reality, you’re merely a fragment of her.”
“I don’t understand.”
“Humans and Gods don’t mix Y/n. Hell, even humans and demigods can’t.”
“I’m aware.”
Jihoon took a pause before he narrowed his eyes at you playfully. “Why and how are you aware of that?”
“Irrelevant.” You brushed off. “But if what you’re saying is true, how can demigods even come to be?”
“Because it’s not unlike even the Gods to succumb to lust. At any time they feel particularly attracted to a human they enchant their partners.” When you frowned like you didn’t understand, he sighed and continued. “Enchantment is what we call the process of gods…to crudely put it, possessing people. Taking over their bodies, controlling them.”
Your jaw dropped.
“You mean they possess one person to have sex with another???”
“Well, sometimes it’s just sex but sometimes it is love. They stay on Earth for years together till the lesser gods aren’t able to handle things and they are forced to go back.” Jihoon got up, pacing around the room. “Demigods are born to two human parents who are completely unaware about what happened with them and what their child actually is.”
“Wow” You breathed out dumbfounded. “You mean to say I have two parents in the Mortal world and one sitting in Olympus-” Jihoon nodded. “-and neither of them care about me?”
Jihoon looked at you like you had given him more information than he asked for.
“I can’t speak for your mortal parents but as far as Gods are concerned, they don’t really care about their half human children…… unless they are powerful.” He locked his arms behind his back. “Demigods train for years to become worthy of their parents' attention.”
“So being a demigod isn’t really a gift after all.”
Sighing, Jihoon sat down beside you. “You can’t allow yourself to be governed by emotions Y/n. You are the result of a God’s lack of resistance to impulses - those who sit in Olympus have their own flaws. If you run your whole life seeking their validation, you will keep running. They will keep you running.”
“What do I do then?” You blinked at him lost. “I think I have more than one question I want to ask the woman because of whom my life is a mess. How do I get her to notice me?”
“Play it smart. First, learn about our world and the things that shape it. Understand how Olympus works - what the God's weaknesses are, what ticks them off, what will bring them on your side.” He turned to you. “If you play your cards right, trust me, your mother will come looking for you in no time.”
Letting out a deep breath, you whispered hesitantly. “Will you teach me how?”
Smiling in a way that made your stomach turn a lot differently than it used to for Jihoon before, he nodded. “I'd love to.”
You didn’t even realise when your supposed two hour session with Jihoon dragged on till after the sun had set.
By the end of it, you had a book full of notes stuffed in your backpack and a head full of information that your instructor had filled. As you stepped out of the library building, Jihoon offered to walk you back to Seungcheol’s house given it was nightfall and as much as you wanted to continue talking to him, you politely refused. You weren’t ready to face that man just yet but just as you began walking towards the Great Hall to grab a snack or two, your eyes fell on Jeonghan and Seungcheol whispering away near the trees.
As you skidded to a stop in your path, they turned towards you, both surprised and relieved by your presence. When you noticed Jeonghan nudge Seungcheol making him take a step towards you, you immediately walked back, knocking into someone behind you, earning a shriek.
“Watch it rookie.” Seungkwan muttered as you apologised under your breath. From the corner of your eye, you noticed a couple of the guys standing fully dressed like they were headed out to a party.
“Y/n.” Seungcheol took another step, trying to get your attention again. “We need to talk-”
“I can’t,” You walked over to the boys, placing yourself right in the middle of the group. “I’m going out tonight.”
“Dressed like that?” Seungcheol raised his eyebrows, looking up to down at a really old t-shirt you had donned over a pair of worn out shorts.
“Funny that a man who pairs socks with sandals is judging me about my outfit.”
Behind you the boys snickered, glancing down at Seungcheol’s feet.
“That’s not my point-”
“Can you drop my bag in my room?” You looked over the leader’s shoulder at his sidekick. “Since you love roaming around that house anyways.”
Jeonghan caught the bag you threw to him, sighing as he swung it over his shoulder.
“Well, that would make a total of eight of us..…” Seokmin looked around, doing a headcount. “Dino’s car can take us all but it will be a bit congested-”
“I can take my bike.” Mingyu offered, running his hands through his hair. “It’ll be more convenient for you guys and-”
“Can I ride with you?” You turned to Mingyu, looking at him just a little pleadingly.
Even though you were on the way to a party, you weren’t in the mood to be stuffed in a small car with a bunch of guys right now - all you wanted was some air and space away from Seungcheol.
Shooting you a small smirk, Mingyu nodded, just in time for his mechanical bull to jog over, modifying into a slick bike the moment it neared him. As he got on, you followed him, gripping his shoulders as you clambered on.
“Hold tight.”
Wrapping your arms around his waist, you glanced at the two boys left behind - Seungcheol’s jaw was tight and Jeonghan looked mildly curious, eyes darting where your body pressed up against Mingyu’s back. You could tell the normally cocky Mingyu did seem slightly tense under your touch, perhaps because you were not wearing a bra and he could feel everything very clearly.
“Shall we?” He muttered, turning on the engine.
Sighing, you nodded, a part of you well aware that tonight was most definitely going to be a long night.
“Let’s go.”
“I’ve been to funerals better than this.”
You muttered to Seokmin about fifteen minutes after reaching the house that the boys had brought you to for the night. Your expectation had been that of a frat party, one with pizzas and chips and dip and booze instead you were looking at a living room filled with pink balloons, rose gold streamers and french appetisers.
“Wait till Soonyoung’s alcohol goes around.” Seokmin half giggled, grabbing a canape from the table. “Things always get so much fun after that.”
You watched the man in question pulling out some bottles from his pockets, handing them over to some boys at the corner of the room.
The moment Chan’s car had stopped at the location, all the boys had practically disappeared. Seungkwan headed over to a bunch of people Mingyu said were some of his very close friends. No sooner than he said that, he too disappeared as did Chan, Soonyoung and Mingao. The only ones who remained by your side were Seokmin and Joshua but just as you stepped into the house, a couple of girls pulled Joshua away, leaving you with your current company.
“Why do I feel like something about Soonyoung’s alcohol is sketchy?”
“Maybe because it’s an illegal blend?” Seokmin shrugged before realising what he had let slip. “You cannot tell anyone. Everyone in camp will kill him and Soonyoung will resurrect and kill me.”
Laughing you shook your head, grabbing a cracker and topping it with brie, stomach rumbling due to the lack of dinner.
“You don’t have to keep me company Seokmin.” You turned to the man who was sweet enough to stay by your side. “I don’t wanna ruin your night.”
“It’s no big deal.” He muttered, putting himself between you and a drunk guy leaning over you to grab a drink from the table. “I know you don’t know anyone here-”
“I’m not looking to socialise anyways.” You confessed, piling a bunch of stuff on your plate. “I’m just going to sit outside and grab a bite in, hopefully, some peace and quiet.”
“Oh.” Seokmin looked a little upset, like he wanted to hang out with you but before you could tell him that you didn’t mind his company, Mingyu popped by out of nowhere, pulling his friend by the elbow and dragging him away excitedly. Chuckling, you got back to piling your plate.
“You worked up an appetite.”
You turned to see Soonyoung hovering behind you, hands tucked in his pocket.
“Yeah….” You shoved a spoonful of cold but nevertheless tasty pasta salad into your mouth. “Apparently spending three hours learning about Greek gods can really drain you.”
“Jihoon can be a bit intense with teaching.” Soonyoung laughed, nonchalantly wiping the cream at the edge of your lips with his thumb. “The trick is to remind him about his workout. He'll drop everything and run.”
“Huh.” You laughed uncertainly before struggling to swallow your bite and turning to him. He stared at you stuffing your mouth with an expression you couldn’t quite read.
“Soonyoung we…. “ You swallowed. “We didn't get to talk about last night.”
“Oh.” Soonyoung blinked. “What about it?”
About what he said. About if you heard it right. About if he meant it.
“About if whatever happened was…. of any use with Mina?” You diverted like a coward.
“I uh haven't spoken to her yet.” Soonyoung confessed, scratching the back of his head. “Surprisingly I haven't returned any of her calls.”
“Why is that?”
“I don't know.” He looked at you intently. “I don't feel like doing it.”
“Is there…” You whispered softly, wondering if you should even be asking this. If you were ready for his answer. “....something else you feel like doing?”
Soonyoung nodded, his tongue running across his lower lip, his eyes darting to your mouth. Just as it seemed like he leaned in, out of nowhere, the most beautiful girl you had ever seen, threw her arms around Soonyoung's neck, pulling his mouth to hers instead.
“Hoshi.” She mumbled against his lips, pressing her body up against him not so subtly.
You weren't sure why exactly you were continuing to watch the two people before you shoving their tongues into each other's mouth but perhaps that's how shock worked. Though you didn't have the intention of continuing anything at all with Soonyoung, something about being interrupted this way stung differently.
By the time they had separated, you had chugged an entire can of beer, crushing the metal in your hand.
“And who might this be?” She looked at you, pushing her hair back.
“She's the new member of camp seventeen Y/n,” He pointed between the two of you, “Y/n, this is Mina, my uh….”
“Girlfriend.” She smiled, with an unbelievably perfect set of teeth. “So the rumours are true. The infamous all-boys-celibate camp finally has a female presence. Tell me,” Her eyes glowed. “Have you gotten your eyes on any of them? Or even better,” She lowered her voice. “Have you gotten your hands on any of them already?”
You looked at Soonyoung, utterly uncomfortable.
“Mina, you can’t ask such things-”
“Why not? It'll be between just us girls-”
“Please.” He pulled her back. “Last I saw you, we broke up and now you just waltz back and-”
“I know, I know. We never should have broken up in the first place. That whole fight was stupid.” She pouted, wrapping her arms around him tighter. “Forget about it Soonyoung-”
“Forget about it?” His expression was of disbelief. “So you don't have anything to say to me?”
She looked away, pretending like she was thinking before turning back to him with a smirk. “Yes, I do. I didn't wear any underwear today.”
Inwardly groaning you stared at the design of the tile hoping the ground would just swallow you instead. You wanted to get the fuck out of here since this conversation was of no interest to you but moving was impossible with both their intertwined figures blocking the way.
“Come on Soonyoung, it's been so long and I'm in the mood tonight. The bedrooms on the second floor won’t be free for long.”
Soonyoung’s adam's apple shifted, his words stuck somewhere there as Mina held him by the wrist and began leading him away. As he was dragged off, you expected him to turn and shoot you a grateful look, instead, he looked at you wistfully.
Your plan was simple - stuff your face with all the incredibly bougie food, catch some air in the patio away from all the noise and then leave with the boys whenever they were ready to go. Instead here you were, your plate somewhere unattended while you were gripping the edge of the sink, leaning over it, chest heaving as you stared into the mirror.
Now you knew you weren’t supposed to be hogging the washroom for this long but you couldn’t bear to go out. One, you didn’t want to see Soonyoung and his girlfriend again - especially if she was going to be all over him like a leech because something about that sight made your stomach turn violently. And two, you were somehow, for no reason at all, incredibly wet.
Perhaps it was because suddenly, everyone in the party was quite literally all over each other, or because you were thinking about what happened in Soonyoung’s residence this time yesterday, or because you were just plain desperate to have something, anything inside you.
Last night awakened something in you that you didn’t know existed and now nothing seemed to satiate the beast. Chiding yourself for being out here when you could have been in your own room, having your way with Soonyoung’s toy or your own fingers maybe, you gripped the sink tighter, feeling your heart rate rise unprompted. It was getting harder and harder to stay modest.
The only thing that stopped you from putting your hand down your pants in a house full of sixty people on the other side of the door, was the knock on it.
“What part of I am throwing up in here do you not- Oh!” You gasped, walking back as the door flung open and in stepped a slightly inebriated Chan. “What are you doing!?”
“You won’t open the door….” He slurred. “It’s been so long, Seokmin was worried.”
“How the hell did you open three locks….” You stared at the door as he slowly shut it behind him.
“My father is the God of thieves. Are you really surprised that I can open any lock and any door?”
“I guess not.” You muttered, sitting down on the edge of the bathtub. “But you didn’t need to, I was going to come out-”
“You’ve been in here for over 20 minutes.” Chan crossed his arms, leaning against the wall. “I thought you passed out or something.”
“I wish.”
Passing out would be much better than whatever was going on between your legs.
“You don’t look like you’re enjoying the party.”
“I’m not. I’m just waiting for us to head back.”
“Then why ask to tag along?” He raised his eyebrow. “Does it have anything to do with the hostility between you and Seungcheol?”
“So you noticed.”
“I think everyone did.” Chan chuckled. “Do you want to tell me why or should I guess?”
“Shoot your shot.”
Chan shrugged all knowingly, “He rejected you.”
You looked up at the boy before you so fast, you nearly fell back thanks to the inertia.
“W-what makes you think that?”
“Sons of Zeus and Daughters of Aphrodite have a natural tendency to attract the opposite sex.” He stated like it was obvious. “Seungcheol has women swooning over him like they're in some sort of trance. He doesn't really care for them because he knows it's a mere chemical attraction thanks to his dad. Instead he just ignores them or if things get unbearable, he breaks their hearts so they snap out of it.”
You knew Chan had to be quite tipsy to so bluntly place you in the list of women Seungcheol had rejected. It wasn't like that was it? Yesterday in the rain, he had hinted his feelings for you, he almost kissed you but….. what about what you were feeling? Was this irresistible attraction you felt towards him nothing but chemical?
Considering how you had been feeling since Mina wrapped herself all over Soonyoung…. You wouldn't have felt that if your heart was set out on Seungcheol right?
Then again….. it was Seungcheol’s name that left your mouth as you orgasmed yesterday.
Staring at the floor you shook your head slightly. You could not think about last night again, not with how soaked you already were at the moment.
“Hey,” Chan inched closer, putting his finger under your chin, lifting your face to meet your eyes. He did not however notice the way you pressed your thighs together at his touch. His eyes skimmed over the features of your face, a slight amused smile forming on his face. “You’re flushed…. Did you have any of Soonyoung’s alcohol?”
You shook your head but were unable to shake his fingers from your face. “His blend is not my drink of choice.”
“Oh gods, please don’t tell me you had any beer.”
“I think I had two cans…… or maybe four?” You frowned. “I can't remember but I'm not drunk! Beer barely makes me-”
“Y/n,” Sighing, Chan finally let you go. “Party rule number one, you never drink alcohol at an Aphrodite rager.”
“Why not?”
“Because Aphrodite’s children are a bunch of troublemakers. Don’t let their gorgeous faces fool you.” He brushed the hair off your face. “You must think people like Joshua are the finest to walk the Earth, but don’t judge a man without knowing his stories.”
Joshua? You frowned. How could he be anything but a sweetheart? Soonyoung’s girlfriend maybe was an obnoxious toad but not Joshua. He was flawless.
“You might as well have drank Soonyoung’s disgusting blend.” Chan muttered. “Why do you think his alcohol sells so well at these parties?”
“Because his annoyingly beautiful girlfriend is a daughter of Aphrodite?”
“Yes, but also because only the insane drink the booze served at an Aphrodite party. She may be the goddess of Love but she’s also the goddess of Sex and more importantly, her children are addicted to it.” Chan looked at you just a little worried. “Those drinks are their special concoctions of aphrodisiacs.”
“A-aphrodisiacs???”
“Aphrodite, aphrodisiacs - not far off huh?” He shrugged. “I’m not sure if it hit you yet - do you feel anything?”
“No….” You shook your head.
The correct answer was hell yes. Everything going on with you suddenly made sense but you couldn't tell Chan that, not him.
“Are you not feeling unnaturally hot?” He looked at you concerned as he sat down beside you, his body unwittingly brushing against yours. “Doesn't the tiniest bit of proximity rile you up?”
You didn’t answer him. You didn't need him to know just how much even his presence was affecting you thanks to those stupid sex potions.
“I should tell you beforehand, when it hits, it’s going to be intense but the longer you resist it, the stronger it gets.” You turned to him, only just realising how close his face was to yours. “The only chance you have of getting out of it…. is to give in.”
Gulping you stared at him. The boy who was always bright, laughing around and cracking jokes like he was an old man was looking at you with unusually darkened eyes, his thighs pressed against yours, your hand inches away from him.
The only chance you have of getting it out is to give in.
“Chan do you think….” You gulped. “...you can guard the door for a while?”
Perhaps if it were anyone but Lee Chan you would have climbed them by now. Because he was right - the more you tried to control yourself, the more you felt yourself slipping. But not with Chan, definitely not with him. He was far too sweet and innocent to be dragged into whatever mess was going on with you.
“I might uh need a few minutes alone here.” You mumbled.
Chan blinked like he didn't understand but when you looked away, wiping the sweat trickling down your neck in a pretty cold room, he seemed like he got it.
“Oh y-yeah sure.” He got up quickly, not looking at you. “I'll be right outside.”
And with that he scurried out, closing the door behind him.
The moment he disappeared you smacked your head - you didn't particularly enjoy beer anyways, why did you have to drink it tonight? If you were being honest, it was because of Soonyoung and his irritatingly gorgeous girlfriend and their unnecessary antics right in front of you face-
No.
No no no.
You couldn't be spiralling with these thoughts again. Chan said the longer you resisted, it was going to get worse so you were going to do whatever it took to get this feeling out of your system.
As you unbuttoned your shorts, you got up and leaned against the sink to avoid seeing your face in the mirror, barely able to meet your own eyes given what you were about to do. Pushing your embarrassment aside considering the need of the hour, you slid your hand past the material of your underwear, fingers feeling exactly how drenched you were.
“Fucking hell.” You muttered. How was it possible that you were this wet absolutely unprompted and for no reason at all? What the hell was in those concoctions??
You thought you could just get off with your own fingers but given how easily they were sliding past your hole there was no way you could do this on your own, especially not here. Annoyed, you pulled your hand out and turned, washing it under the running water, sighing at your reflection in the mirror. Chan was right, you were incredibly flushed, your pupils were blown and the sheen of sweat was very evident - oh it was definitely getting worse.
Maybe you could go find Mingyu and convince him to give you a ride back to camp. If you could get your hands on Soonyoung’s toy again, you could help yourself out of this. That was perhaps the best thing to do right now.
Adjusting your hair and your clothes, you gave yourself a determined nod and opened the door, expecting to see Chan but finding someone else entirely guarding the door.
“M-Minghao.” You stuttered as he looked over his shoulder, eyes finding you.
“Party rule number two, never trust Lee Chan to do anything in a party with alcohol.”
You should have known - he might be your age but Chan was like an overexcited child. And did Minghao just say rule number two? Did that mean he was aware….
“You’re still very aroused.” He smirked as you felt your cheeks heat with embarrassment. “I’m guessing whatever you were trying to do in there didn’t work out.”
You groaned. “I can’t believe Chan told you-”
“He didn’t.” Minghao shook his head amused. You watched as he ran his eyes from your face down. “He didn’t have to, it’s pretty evident.”
“I just need to get home and I’ll be fine-”
“I don’t think so.” He dropped his voice, his wide frame covering anyone from seeing you. “On the contrary, you might quite literally pounce on the first guy you see-”
“You’re the first guy.”
Minghao’s eyes darkened as he looked at you wordlessly. Strangely, you felt something shift inside you too - oh god he was right.
“How much longer-”
“There’s bedrooms upstairs you know-”
”Are you guys done-”
“No.” Minghao shook his head, silencing the voices behind him as he slid his bracelet off his wrist and hooked it to the door handle, eyes not leaving you even once. “Get in.”
Surprisingly you obeyed, taking a step back, allowing him to enter as he closed the door behind him much to the disappointment of the many queueing outside.
“Y/n,” How was his voice so much deeper suddenly? “This is the exact kind of trouble the Aphrodite children are looking for. They want the drama that comes from the inability to control oneself, you’re better than that.”
“What do you want me to do?” You groaned. “Before you shoved me back in here, I was trying to leave and get back to camp so I can deal with it myself-”
“The art of war lies in self control.” He slid his arms in his pockets, looking at you just like he did every morning on the training field. “As a demigod, you are at your best when you learn how to control yourself. People misunderstand how this aphrodisiac works - you don't have to give in, it does wear off after a point. Most just don't happen to be able to control themselves till then.”
“Wears off at what point because Minghao, it's been barely 20 minutes since I’ve had those drinks and I’m barely able to get a hold of myself.”
“Which is precisely why leaving right now is a horrible idea - you don’t have a hold over yourself.” He let out a deep breath. “We can fix it. We can stay here for however long you need and you can let this pass. Consider it a lesson in your training.”
“We’re training in the middle of a party?”
“As warriors we’re always training.” He walked past you, sitting on the edge of the bathtub like you had been just a while ago, looking annoyingly relaxed. “Do you think I enjoy these all-pink, snooty french parties? I come here just for the drinks.”
Your jaw dropped. “Y-you had the beer too?”
Minghao nodded.
“On purpose? After knowing what they do?”
He nodded again.
“Why in the world would you do that?”
“To practise self control.” He stated like it was obvious.
“By drugging yourself?”
“A good warrior is one who doesn’t allow himself to be governed by any kind of emotion - lust is usually the hardest to control.”
“So that concoction has no effect on you?”
“It's starting to hit.” Minghao looked at you intently as your eyes flickered down to his pants, noticing the bulge. “But I'm not the kind to give in.”
“Well I think I'm the kind to.” You muttered, throat going dry as you peeled your eyes away. Minghao didn't. “I don't know how to explain it.” You shut your eyes tight, embarrassed of the words leaving you but you knew he might be the only person who understood where you were at. “but I have this feeling like I'm being clawed on the inside, like if I don't have anything in me right this second, I might just lose my mind.”
“I get it.” Your eyes flew open to find him standing right in front of you, his face inches away. “I feel like I'm on the edge of my sanity too but you can fight it.”
Gulping you looked at the way his lips moved, the vein of his neck stark as was his collarbone peeking from under his shirt. Before this, you hadn’t actually noticed just how handsome Minghao was.
“l can't.” You whispered, running your eyes over his features. “Can…can you help me?”
Leaning closer, his gaze hardened. You could see there were thoughts running in that head of his - the warrior was engaged in a battle with himself.
“Minghao please.”
Grabbing your waist, he spun you around swiftly, trapping you between his hands and the sink, meeting your eyes in the reflection of the mirror.
“Help you how?”
You looked at how his mouth was right by your ear and his frame so wide behind you that he was engulfing you merely with his presence. On one hand there were his arms, veins running up them as he gripped the edge of the sink and on the other was the fact that if you just took one step back, you knew you would feel his length pressed against you - both of which were making things exponentially worse.
“Tell me how you want me to help Y/n.” He muttered, his breath soft against your ear.
“I… you know how-”
“I was helping. I was telling you what to do-”
“Can't you do something instead?” Knowing exactly what you were doing, you took a small step back, pressing your back against his chest and your ass against his length. “Didn't you say it hit you too?”
You thought it was a fair enough proposition. Both of you had taken the drink so it was easy to put the blame on it for anything that might potentially happen.
“But I don't need any help.” He shook his head adamantly. “If I help you, what's in it for me?”
“I'll owe you one.” You sighed. “Whenever, wherever, please Minghao….”
“Remember those words.” He whispered, his hand snaking around your waist to unbutton your shorts, fingers lingering over your skin.
“W-wait.” You gasped. Though this was exactly what you were expecting when you asked for his help, as it blended into reality, you felt an uncertainty kick in. “W-what if someone opens the door-”
“A door that has the bracelet of Ares on it?” Minghao's reflection raised his eyes amused. “They'd be crazy to.”
“b-but what if…. I'm too loud or something. Wouldn't we be in trouble?”
“Y/n.” His hand drew back just a little. “Are you sure you want me to….”
“Yes.” You shut your eyes mortified that just the feeling of him withdrawing his touch was physically painful. “Yes please …”
Almost instantly Minghao obeyed, his hand snaking past the material of your shorts, just the thin layer of your underwear keeping his fingers away from you.
“Oh you poor thing, you're drenched.”
You nodded as his hand pushed aside your panties, running his digits along your folds, smearing your arousal everywhere, a fingertip prodding your hole ever so slightly.
“I'm not sure two fingers are enough for you.” He muttered, groaning. “You really want a dick inside don't you?”
“So bad.” You whispered back. “I wouldn't even mind two of them in me right now-”
You felt your words die in your throat as Minghao chuckled, slipping his fingers into your wet hole. “Let's start with two of these first.”
A soft moan left you as you agreed, hands gripping the edge tighter as his digits simply stayed inside you.
“Look at you.” He muttered in your ear. “Open your eyes and look at yourself.”
Hesitating you obeyed, catching sight of the two of you in the mirror as his free hand wrapped around your waist, holding you in place against him. Something about the way your small frame fit against his wider one was….nice.
You wanted to ask him to move his fingers, to give you something but before you said it, he slowly began pumping his digits in and out, burying his face in the dip of your neck. As his mouth brushed your skin, you felt yourself tense around his fingers.
“So tight. ” He mumbled. “Oh you'd be such a delight to fuck.”
“Then fuck me.” You moaned as his fingers picked up speed.
“Tempting.” His voice left him like a low growl as his teeth grazed your skin. “But I'm a man of principles.”
“Are you sure?” Reaching for the hand on your waist, you led it up your torso under your shirt, guiding him to your tits.
“No bra?” He half groaned, squeezing it. “What a doll.”
“Don't you want to fuck me?” Moaning you tried to push your ass further against his rock hard self. “Use me and we can both be free of this-”
“Don't be greedy Y/n.” Contrary to his words, he let a third finger join his act. “Take what I'm giving you.”
Feeling a lot more full now, you felt your jaw slacken and no words left as both his hands took turns to harshly pump and squeeze, his mouth along your shoulder and neck, leaving painful, stinging marks of red.
“Faster.” You panted as his tongue ran along your skin to soothe the burn and fingers obeyed, stretching you out just right. Minghao could tell it wasn't enough and his thumb darted to your clit, having you keen in his arms. The moment he curled his fingers up, met your eyes in the reflection and whispered, “cum for me doll.”, all that was building inside you instantly snapped, your orgasm washing over you in waves.
Thank god he held you up against him because as you pressed your legs, riding out your climax, they began trembling. When your sight became clear and you came around, Minghao slowly let you go but whatever fire was burning inside you was not satiated.
Fucking hell.
“You need more?” Minghao chuckled as he took a step back and you turned to him, eyes still hooded with lust.
“Perhaps just another…” You ran your hand down his chest, unzipping his hoodie, revealing his black tank top. “Finish off the favour.”
“I don’t think so.” He shook his head. “As your campmate I did help. But now as your trainer, I'm going to let you get over the rest on your own.”
“Minghao….” You groaned. If he was going to leave you halfway, he might as well not have done anything. Now you were, in fact, much more turned that you didn't think his fingers could even do the job anymore…..you needed the whole package.
But like he said, Minghao was a man of principles, he wouldn't give in…. unless you could tempt him enough?
Humming you looked around. The four walls of this bathroom did not seem like the right place to try and entice him but thankfully, you remembered Soonyoung’s girlfriend mentioning the bedrooms upstairs.
“Fine.” You agreed, adjusting your clothes and buttoning up while Minghao washed his hands. Perhaps if the two of you found yourself in the proximity of one of those rooms, you could get him to succumb.
As you pulled your hair into a ponytail, Minghao opened the door, holding it for you to leave first but being the girl you were, you wantonly brushed your hand against his erection, pretending your actions were innocent. He stared at you as you walked away from him, stopping only at the edge of the staircase to glance at him before heading up, hoping he was following.
Pushing through the crowd of people making out and feeling each other up in a way that was far from decent, you glanced down the corridor, slightly surprised. The house didn’t seem so big from the outside but the corridor before you looked endless with dozens of rooms on either side. You walked past them, avoiding the ones with socks on the knobs, knocking on some to receive screams of ‘go away’ and ‘taken’ and opening some unanswered doors to sights you wished you never saw. Half disturbed and half amused you continued to try and find an empty room when the sound of a particular something made you stop your tracks, eyes widening.
Your name.
Your name sounding like a strangled moan, repeated over and over, getting breathless with each word.
Gulping, you slowly pushed the door next to you open, both terrified and curious about what you were going to see because a part of you recognised that voice - it was one you heard on camp all the time.
Sure enough, before you was a large bed, Soonyoung sitting against the headboard, his pants pushed down his thighs and his dick in his fist, pumping it hard and fast. He didn’t seem to notice your presence, his eyes screwed shut as your name continued to spill from his mouth. Of course this wasn’t the first time you were seeing Soonyoung do this but something had most definitely changed since last time.
When you took a step ahead, letting the door close behind you, the click of it shutting was what finally got his attention, his eyes flying open. Catching sight of you he immediately swore loudly, tucking his length back into his pants, face turning a lot more red than it already was.
“God woman, how long have you-”
“Long enough to hear whose name you were saying.” You looked at him guiltily. “Soonyoung, you have a girlfriend-”
“Mina and I are not together.” He confessed, gulping.”She wanted to but for the first time ever I refused to….”
“Why?” You whispered, terrified of the answer. Please, please, please. Kwon Soonyoung cannot be in love with you.
“For the last ten years I thought no one could make me feel the way she did and that’s why the two of us belong with each other but….” He sighed. “I learnt that that’s not true.”
You blinked at him as he looked at you softly.
“And you know why it’s not true.”
“Soonyoung we….” You walked in, sitting on the edge of the bed. “What happened between us was just a favour, one friend to another. How can there be something between us-”
“I know.” He nodded. “I’m not saying I’m in love with you or something, I…. I myself don’t really know, all this is new to me too.”
“But what you were doing,” You tried not to glance at his pants where his erection was still very much evident. “That seemed like-”
“Y/n I’ve only ever been with one woman my whole life who gave me a boner before I turned her down for good.” He couldn’t look at you either. “What else could I really do…..”
A part of you understood him. You too were incredibly wound for a while now and you knew what it was like to try and fight it - you too had succumbed. In fact you were still not fully rid of the feeling and Soonyoung was right before you, just as aroused. Yesterday could be justified as an ignorant act whose consequences were not expected but if you went through with this today, there was no coming back from it. It wouldn’t be right…..
.
.
.
But fuck it.
“You didn’t finish, did you?”
Soonyoung shook his head slowly
Sighing, you kicked off your shoes and climbed on the bed on all fours, crawling towards him as he held his breath.
“This is yet another favour.” You clarified, more to yourself than him, “Just so you can understand if it's me you want to fuck or just anyone who's not your girlfriend.”
W-what?” He stuttered as your hand found the waistband of his pants. “We're going to…?”
“We don't have to if you don't want to-”
“Yes.” He breathed out, nodding fast. “God yes I want to.”
Smiling just a little, you pulled his pants down a bit, the way they were when you had entered. His erection sprung out, lying against his shirt, the tip pink and flushed. You were familiar with how it looked, but this was the most up close you had seen it and the first time you touched it as you wrapped your wrist around the base, earning a hiss from him.
“How long have you been hard?”
“Over 20 minutes.” He groaned. “Ever since we spoke at the table…. your ass looked fucking good when you bent over the table.”
“Yeah?” You pumped his length slowly. “You're not too bad yourself. Your abs are hot.”
Almost immediately, without needing to be told, Soonyoung pulled his sweatshirt over his head, tossing it on the floor.
“Good boy.” Tongue darting out, you licked the precum on his slit, looking up at his blown pupils. “You taste good too.”
“Fuck y/n, I might just cum right now.”
“In my mouth?” You cooed. “Not inside me?”
Groaning Soonyoung threw his head back. Honestly, you had no idea how these words were even leaving you - you owed it to both the aphrodisiac coursing through you and also how submissive Soonyoung seemed in your hands. So reactive, so easy to please.
The moment you took his tip in your mouth, his hand gripped your ponytail, trying to push himself further in. Pulling back with a wet pop, you clicked your tongue.
“Uh huh.” You shook your head. “If we do this we do this my way.”
“Do whatever the fuck you want.” He panted, his thighs twitching. “I'm all yours.”
Although you had some thoughts about that statement you didn't voice them. One because you really wanted to suck him off and two because you heard a voice you knew most definitely wasn't Soonyoung.
“So this is how you choose to tempt me.”
Before you Soonyoung froze, eyes looking past you at the door where Minghao was standing. You could tell the man before you was both shocked and embarrassed and wanted to cover himself up but you didn't move to give him room for that.
“If you're worried about your modesty Kwon, you should know I don't give a fuck.” Minghao leaned back against the door. “I'm only interested in what Y/n has to offer.”
Soonyoung looked at you confused as you smiled just a little. Oh you managed to crack him and it didn't even take much.
“Tell him my offer is still open.” You ran your tongue from his base up. “If you’re okay with it too that is.”
Soonyoung’s eyes widened, finally realising what was happening. You doubted that he wouldn't be okay with it - the man was quite literally falling apart in your hands.
Sure enough, he slowly nodded.
“From only one woman ever to this overnight?” Minghao raised his eyebrow. “Your girlfriend must've put you up to a really strong dose of those sex potions.”
“I didn't drink a-any beer.” Soonyoung muttered as you ran your eyes over his face. He was the same as you - pupils widened, face flushed, breath fast and shallow.
Oh.
“You're telling me that woman isn't capable of slipping in a little something to entice her boyfriend who won't crawl back to her like he always does?” Minghao chuckled. “Because I think so.”
Well wasn't this ideal, now you could justify everything that was happening - it was simply three people succumbing to the effects of an aphrodisiac - nothing personal, nothing beyond anything physical. Except deep down you knew it must mean something if despite being drugged Soonyoung rejected his girlfriend because of you and Minghao who was a man of impeccable self control was crumbling for you.
Except he hadn't really yet.
Deciding to leave the thoughts for another time, you slightly looked over your shoulder at the man who was leaning against the wall.
“Only my mouth is busy, I have two more free holes you know.”
You could tell that something about the energy in the room had shifted the moment you said that, like it was only a matter of time before Minghao joined. Sure enough, you heard the lock of the door click behind you and from the way Soonyoung gulped and his eyes followed his teammate, you could tell Minghao had neared. Wrapping your mouth around the older man's tip again, you hummed at the weight of his dick on your tongue.
“F-fuck.” Soonyoung groaned under his breath.
As the bed dipped behind you, you knew Minghao had climbed in, finally succumbing, finally giving in. .
“Is that the best you got?” He chuckled with a deep voice, pushing your knees apart with his own and running his hand down along your back as Soonyoung stared at him wide eyed. “That won't be enough for me.”
You could feel your mouth practically water, drool leaking down the corner of your lips as you took Soonyoung further in your mouth, earning a pained hiss. Minghao though was still not satisfied as he bent over, one hand unbuttoning your shorts, his breath at the shell of your ear, whispering.
“Take care of my friend and I'll take care of you.” You looked at Soonyoung to see his eyes flickering between the two of you. “The louder he moans, the harder you'll get it.”
Most definitely motivated, you sunk Soonyoung’s length deeper into your mouth, his tip touching the back of your throat, a deep groan leaving the man as his hand gripped your hair again to hold you back.
Minghao smacked it away with the shake of a head as he drew himself back, fingers hooking onto your waistband as he pulled down both your shorts and panties in one go, letting it pool at your bent knees.
You could feel your arousal drip down your legs given how incredibly wet you were. A part of you wanted to see Minghao's face but then you would have missed the sight of Soonyoung panting, looking down at you like the mere smell of you had awakened something wild in him. To make things a whole lot worse, Minghao ran his fingers up your slit, playing with your wetness before gathering it on his digit and holding it out to his friend.
���Want a taste?”
“Bold of you to assume this is my first time.” Soonyoung smirked as he sucked off Minghao's fingers and you grinned to yourself. Atta boy.
Minghao chuckled as he pulled his fingers away, smearing the wetness on the cheek of your ass, landing a smack that sent a sharp sting, making you moan around Soonyoung.
“Barely a week in camp and look at you.” He mimicked his actions on your other cheek, the impact jerking your forward, Soonyoung’s length slipping into your throat. “Good girl.”
“So fucking good.” Soonyoung moaned. “That mouth is divine.”
“Not more than this.” Cupping the curve of your ass, Minghao dipped his finger into your quivering hole. You keened at the sensation, but didn't stop working on Soonyoung's dick - you knew if you gave Soonyoung what he needed, Minghao would give you what you wanted and god did you want to feel full of him. When you grinded against his hips, his hands left you and you finally heard the sound of Minghao's zipper despite the lewd noises leaving your mouth being much louder.
“Fuck baby just like that.” Soonyoug groaned as you picked up the speed, making him feel more and more of your throat.
You still couldn't tell what Minghao was doing, the absence of his touch testing your patience, your teeth accidentally grazing Soonyoung’s dick making him hiss in pain.
Minghao chuckled, adjusting your body on each knee to pull out the clothes on your lower half and when he aligned himself behind you, you could tell he discarded his own too. His hands returned to your ass which you guessed was faint red, a colour that was exceedingly a part of Minghao's life, a colour he seemingly enjoyed. Although you did want him to rail you into tomorrow, you didn't mind if he took a moment to admire what he saw.
As though he was lost in thought about the same, Minghao dragged his dick along your folds, his length bumping your clit and sending a jolt down your nerves, before he aligned himself.
“W-wait” Looking at his friend, Soonyoung let out a strangled cry. “She hasn't been prepped-”
“Oh Kwon.” You felt his tip pushing into your needy wet hole. “She's already ready for me.”
And with that he buried himself to the hilt, the suddenness making you choke around Soonyoung’s length much to the latter's surprise and delight. Barely giving you the time to get a hold of yourself, Minghao began thrusting into you, the force pushing your mouth to take more of Soonyoung, your hands painfully gripping his thighs. The older man, who could have been a little more considerate, also began ramming his dick into your mouth, barely allowing you to breathe.
You could feel yourself losing a grip on reality, one man fucking you onto another - you never thought you would ever find yourself in a situation like this but here you were, being wrecked on both ends by men who were strangers just a week ago but god did it feel good.
Minghao bunched the material of your shirt, pushing it up along your spine, as you pulled yourself away from Soonyoung, desperate to get some air before you passed out. He groaned at the loss of your warm mouth but his expression turned fond as you looked up at him, drool running down your chin messily. Considering you looked absolutely fucked out, you didn't get why he was so enamoured as he tucked your hair behind your ear.
“Shit I could watch you all day sweetie.”
You wanted to say something back but your throat felt too sore and bruised so you settled on just giving him a sweet smile. Minghao watched the interaction between the two of you intently, his movements slowing down to deep, hard strokes. You could feel him so far in, reaching spots no one ever had before. Not even Cheol’s dildo model.
“Do you need a breather?”
Soonyoung's concern laced voice was echoed by another one that sounded a lot more condescending.
“Do you?”
Though you had barely gotten any air in you for so long and your eyes were threatening to roll back, you knew Minghao would only allow you to cum if Soonyoung did and man did the latter have the stamina of a bull.
Shaking your head you spat in your hand and wrapped your fist around the base of his cock, stroking it.
“I'm tired.” You muttered. “Fuck me Soonyoung.”
Forgetting Minghao’s previous instructions to not use his hands, Soonyoung obeyed, gripping your hair again, guiding your mouth back to his cock.
“Tap me twice if you want to stop.”
Much to his surprise, you took him in at a whole new depth, making him throw his head back in pleasure as he held your head down, dick getting squeezed down your throat. At the same time the man behind you decided to pay attention to your clit, making you tremble at the combined sensation but there was nothing you could do - you were at the mercy of both men.
As Soonyoung loosened his grip, allowing you draw back, you barely had the time to catch a breath before he was fucking his dick into your mouth, at the same speed Minghao was ravaging you from behind.
“Fuck fuck fuck.” Soonyoung groaned as his movements got sloppy and his grip tight.
“Fuck I'm gonna come.”
Oh fucking finally.
But to your complete surprise, you felt Minghao's weight press against your back as he leaned over you, hips not stopping their abuse on your hole, whispering,
“Enough.”
Although you knew it was cruel, you immediately tapped Soonyoung’s thigh and the moment he let you go confused, you pulled away, looking at him guiltily as you got on all fours.
“That's my good girl.”
“Xu Mingao.” Soonyoung groaned as the other man drew back. “What the hell?!”
Minghao simply chuckled. “You know how much I enjoy pain.”
“Sadist.” Soonyoung mumbled, trying to push himself to the edge again, pumping his length slick with your spit, hard and fast.
“Oh no.” Minghao shook his head, continuing to fuck the living daylights out of you. “If you cum I'm not letting you get a taste of this.”
“That's for Y/n to tell.”
“Tell him doll.”
You didn't know how he expected you to answer as he rolled his hips against your ass, hitting all the spots.
“Tell him what you want.”
“Don't you…” You moaned as Minghao tightened his grip on you painfully. “Don't you want to cum inside me?”
Muttering under his breath, Soonyoung looked at you with eyes filled with lust. You could tell he was leaning to kiss you, but suddenly Minghao's hand wrapped around your neck, drawing you away.
Sitting on his ankles, he pulled you back till your thighs rested on him and stripped you of your shirt, baring your body to Soonyoung like a mannequin on display.
“Didn't you say you could watch her all day?” He smirked at the older man, hand snaking around your waist. “Now watch.”
You finally seem to understand where the shift in intentions was coming from as he began snapping his hips up into you. Though he wasn't hitting you as deep, his fingers found your clit again and was tightening that knot in you unbelievably fast, your body growing hot and tense.
It was the sound of Soonyoung’s soft sigh that brought you attention back to him as he watched where Minghao disappeared into you with unwavering eyes, fully discarding his pants. When you let out another unholy moan, he looked up, not before his eyes lingered at your tits, his tongue running along his lower lip ravenously. At the sight of him and with Minghao hitting that spot once again, you finally convulsed around him, your orgasm hitting you with an intensity it never had before. Under your grip as tight as a vice, Minghao swore in your ear as he came too, ropes of his release painting your insides.
It was only when his warmth hit your walls that you realised he had not worn a condom and you had not cared.
Before you could justify to yourself that Demigods probably didn't get STDs and it didn't matter, Minghao pulled himself out, depriving you of his girth to clamp around. With a swift movement that was all a blur to you, he manhandled you around till you felt your back aligning against Soonyoung’s chest, the latter spreading your legs apart, the mixed releases leaking out of you, onto his dick.
“Just a little longer.” Minghao tilted your head up by the chin, face hovering over yours. “Be a doll will you?”
You nodded as Soonyoung slipped himself into you with a groan.
“Fuck I don't think I'm going to last long enough anyways.”
Considering you still hadn't even fully come down from your orgasm yet, Soonyoung's intrusion felt like an intense surge of pleasure shooting up your being. Overwhelmingly, in less than a thrust or two, you found yourself cumming again almost immediately, walls fluttering, tightening around him.
Muttering a string of fucks, Soonyoung bit down on your shoulder, his hips moving erratically as he felt himself nearing his high. Cooing into his ear though his thrusts were starting to get painful given your sensitivity, you rolled your hips and with two sharp jerks, Soonyoung finally emptied his load straight into you, cumming copiously.
As he softly held you against him, letting your breaths slowly become regular again, your vision finally cleared and you caught sight of a half naked Minghao before you, watching you snuggled in the arms of his friend. Your eyes ran down, finally catching sight of the dick that had been inside you, lips curling into a small smile.
“Good?”
He asked, scanning your features as he slid off the bed.
“So good.” You muttered, beckoning him with your hand.
Narrowing his eyes confused, he walked around, picking up all the clothes tossed around before he neared you. Pulling him closer to the edge of the bed by the hand, you wrapped your hand around his dick, leaning over to take it in your mouth. As you licked it clean, tasting your mixed releases along his length, you watched his eyes darken.
“Just wanted to be fair.”
“You're not satiated are you?” He smirked amused as you slowly shook your head. “Careful doll, you won't be able to stay conscious through another round with us.”
“I know..” You muttered, snuggling back into Soonyoung’s chest. “I’m tired. Wanna go back.”
“Let's clean you and get you dressed first.” Soonyoung patted your head softly, unwilling to move as your eyes began fluttering shut. “Hao, open that third drawer under the sink, there's washcloths in there.”
“And how do you know that?”
“This is my gir- ex girfriend's room.” Soonyoung muttered.
That information seemed to surprise even Minghao who was usually quite unfazed. “You're crazy Kwon.”
He voiced your thoughts as he disappeared into the bathroom, shaking his head. Within seconds he returned, handing a white towel to Soonyoung who slowly wiped you clean, trying not to brush any sensitive areas.
Just as he finished and his lips softly pressed against your temple asking you not to fall asleep, the sound of a knock resounded in the room, along with a voice.
“Anyone from Camp Seventeen here?”
“Yes.” Minghao and Soonyoung replied at the same time.
“Someone is here looking for your team. Says it's code yellow.”
You watched as the boys shared looks, panicked. Slowly pulling himself away from you, Soonyoung caught the clothes Minghao threw to him, the two of them moving quickly to dress themselves.Pulling your hair into a neat ponytail again and trying to ignore your aching body, you swung your legs off the bed.
“What’s going on?”
“Get dressed.” Minghao handed you your clothes, looking tense. “When a team member calls a code, it means everyone needs to gather immediately.”
You nodded, half understanding as you began to dress yourself. “But what's code yellow?”
Looking at your shivering self, Minghao threw you his hoodie, which you slipped on, letting it envelop you in its warmth.
“Yellow is a moderate danger alert.” Soonyoung held the door open for you as Minghao stepped out. “It most likely means the camp is under attack.”
Oh fuck.
Pushing through the crowd, you followed the boys downstairs, trying not to lose them in their hurry. Noticing you lagging behind thanks to the fact that you were struggling to walk, Soonyoung grabbed your hand, wrapping his hand around your wrist.
From the corner of your eye, you saw Seokmin and Joshua laughing away with a group of girls but before you could call them along, you were dragged away in the urgency of the boys you were with. As you reached the front door, coming to a halt right behind Minghao, your eyes fell on the familiar back of a man leaning against the frame.
Oh no.
“Chief.”
Seungcheol turned as both boys bowed, greeting him.
You simply stared wordlessly, as the blonde man's eyes found you, flickering from the jacket you had donned, to Soonyoung's hand which was still holding yours.
Behind him lightning cracked opened the sky and rain began pouring furiously.
a/n - please send me your thoughts - this series is waaaay out of my comfort zone, I need to know I'm not completely messing shit up and if I missed you in the taglist, please lmk! Also please be patient for chapter 3 - I have to temporarily shift focus to my other stories as well, I will be back here soon!
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no bc it's also been. YEARS since i was Really into dr (and i was. REALLY into dr KSJDF. yeah it's been like three years huh). but YESSS your taste is so good. my favorites if i remember correctly were uhhhh hina and sayaka from thh for SURE. there were a bunch more who i liked but those two were the ones i ended up being not normal at all about. and then AKANE akane was like. i loved akane. AND YESSS sonia nevermind the character of ALL time. i remember i liked hajime a lot too i think he was my favorite protag. and i really enjoyed gundham!! sdr2 was probably my favorite cast on average, i enjoyed them all a lot with like one or two notable exceptions. and then with v3 my favorites were miu tenko and angie because i love widely hated female characters lol nobody got those three like i did i was in the trenches doing deep character analysis i tell you
ALSO. nekomaru most mentally stable dr character truther!! i am also usually All Girls but i think about hypothetical nekomaru nagito dynamic semi regularly because putting the most mentally stable and one of the most mentally. not. stable characters next to each other yields extremely funny dynamics..
i also put a LOT of thought into celeste sayaka dynamics like it's about the fronts we put up the masks we wear the performance of it all..... i will never be normal about those two ever.. man i am thinking about dr characters again this is wild.
also YESSS i love kyoko's va and i loved her as ann in p5.... speaking of which...... who are your p5 favorites.... i am a haru girlie personally. also talk to me more about va's i would love to hear about va's...
sorrry for the late response, im gonna answer the rest of my asks in the next little bit :]
youand me🤝🤝 i was huge in DR during the second half of ? 2020 and it came to be such a Big hyperfixation. i CANT believe it's been 3 years. i just can't. BUT THANK YOU!!!!! THAT MEANS A LOT 2 ME HEHE i am pretty much a fan of all the characters in one way or another though... except for the one that starts w/ k and ends in okichi LOL...
HINA AND SAYAKA ARE SUCHU GOOD CHOICES FOR SUUURE sayaka is just incredibly interesting (despite the amount of screentime she got) and aoi is such a genuine sweetheart, i lvoe them both. AKANE IS ALSO SUCH A GOOD CHOICE, its amazing all this girl has gone through and yet shes still one of the cheeriest characters. and i jsut love how like. how she is with the people she cares about. PLUS HER RELATIONSHIP W/ SONIA IS SOOO CUTE... i specifically remember liking their lil interactions during one of the ? last trials. hajime best protag is also a very good choice, i remembner rly likking his personality and stugff.. plus i loved his voice as well lkldngd you're def not alone in loving the sdr2 cast in its entirety! which im sure you're aware of. im kind of interested to hear who your 1 or 2 exceptions were though (eyeballs)AND OOO A GOOD BATCH FOR V3... i of course cant say much in depth since i havent played the third game but GOSH... i can def say now that both tenko and angie esp deserved sooooooo SOOOOO mcuh better... i hate what kodaka did to them. im super happy all 3 of them had such a huge fan behind them though!!!!!
YESSSS GLAD ITS AGREED UPON and GOSH GOSH ive def seen nekomaru and nagito once or twice before and that seems HILARIOUS. i think theyd balance each out well... since obv nagito's whole thing is self deprecation and whatnot and nekomaru's whole thing is pumping others up and cheering for them right? i think in the end nekomaru wpuld help nagito work on that part of himself
IVE THOUGHT ABT A CELESTE AND SAYAKA DYNAMIC BEFORE 2 OOUGH i also rtemember adding like.... kyoko into the mix for some reason... i cant remmeber exactlt why holdon. ok....... i beleive it has something to do w/ all of three of them concealing their "true" selves for like.all of their lives... and i find that sooo interesting bc they all seem so different and yet. emotional / emotions wise. theyre so very similar.concealing certain aspects of themselves to an extreme degree? being shit w/ regulating their emotions? yeah. sorry for going off topic but YES sayaka / celeste is so good...... itd genuinely be a great like. contrast / balance. someone whos Mostly in touch w/ their feelings paired with someone who literally hides themself for a living? amazing. does any fo this make sense i hope it does my bad its been a while since i thought abt DR characters too DJKGDN cant believe this shit
ANN MYBELOVED !!!!! ann will always be such a fave.. like of all time i think.... ia lso rly like shiho. but. ok. ill be real i havent played the entirety of p5 (the most ive gotten to is the middle of ann's arc) so i dont know just yet if i would enjoy any of the other phantom thieves / characters yk... ia slo rly like ryuji so far ! haru seems like an awesome choice though . lvoe how fucking violent she is, girlboss
HEHE OK. VAS. THANK YOU. sure you already know but erika harlacher voices both kyoko and kaede... and shihos va, christine marie cabanos, also voices chiaki / himiko i believe. and sean chiplock (taka) voices mishima! for the rest of the phantom thieves though... max mittelman voices ryuji, xanthe huynh haru, FORGOT ERICA LINDBECK VOICED FUTABA..... pretty sure shes the current barbie, and kotoko! cherami leigh is makoto, who also voices komaru! and ofc matthew mercer as yusuke... who also voices that fuck face haiji and also leon in re6... robbie daymond voices goro. cassandra lee morris voices morgana! and also hina and angie i believe....
as for DR its like. a good majority have voiced 2 characters atleast. off the top of my heeeeead... lucien dodge voices both hifumi and kiibo. and im pretty sure hes dating (engaged to?) erica mendez, who voices maki. marieve herington as celeste is still fr one of my fave performances like ever in a video game.. amanda celine miller voices both toko and junko! ill stgop for now but the overlap between danganronpa persona and fire emblem is so funny. i get that like theres only reallty a handful in this industry but im pretty sure almost every single VA has been in fire emblem heroes
AND SPEAKING OF VAS!!!! brenda song also voices anne in amphibia :] whihc i like is real cool
THANK YOU FOR TALKING W/ ME.... I REALLY APPRECIATE IT!!!!!
#danganronpa#asks#anon#mine#text#HAD SO MUCH FUN WW/ THIIIS#my thoughts#my DR tag#DR#DRTHH#SDR2#NDRV3
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i love hippo just cause
ok nah but seriously though...
i LOVE how despite how little we have on him, you can still string together a bit of a personality for him. Granted you can say this about just any of the boxers, but Hippo's a special case to me bc he has zero dialogue, and im an absolute sucker for characters like that.
Firstly, he's a hilarious character to me because, after youve beaten disco kid, EVERY boxer has had dialogue thus far. Hippo ? he just roars ! First time I saw that, I just about fucking lost it.
The first time he sees mac, he just laughs at him, showing that he underestimates mac's power, and that he isn't above looking down on people whom he considers an uneven match for him. I think that's such a cool flaw to have for someone who's a chief ! (at least, he IS one in the NES ver.). Plus it's an understandable flaw to have too when looking at the minor circuit; compared to the following guys, albeit still more muscled than the average person, they're all fairly petite (sans disco kid).
If you lose to him, he pounds his belly akin to how tarzan would pound his chest. The big log has such big emotions that he can't contain them !! He's so silly !!!
And during title defense, as we all know, he cheats, which again i think is a rly cool flaw for someone as regal as him to have. Not only is he a bit of a lil shit, he also thinks hes above the rules of boxing as a king (at least, that's how i intepret it.). Plus, not only that, he also shows that hes perceptive of his own weaknesses, covering up his stomach w/ a manhole cover. He's pretty resourceful !
Lastly (sort of), and this is going more in hc territory, but i like to think the guy's autistic. when looking at his character select after you win against him, he's either looking down with his hands to his face, breathing rapidly as if about to cry (contender) or all huddled up with a pouty lip (title defense), which to me just screams ''trouble with emotional regulation'' or at the v least ''has strong emotions''.
Plus, I think that the guy simply likes growling n hissing as a stim, which in the WVBA is ideal bc he can just say it's part of a character n people won't bat an eye ! I like to think the guy's a great storyteller/voice actor as a result of it too n the islander kids just flock to him bc of it !
Circling back to the ''he's a bit of a shit'' point; he calls mac a peasant in the comic. It's debatable whether he means it or not (considering he also tells mac ''to get in his stomach'' i think hes joking), but personally i like to think he calls both his opponents and people he's friendlier with peasants as a joke. In general, I like to think he's kind of a jokester. Although he does like it when people respect his title as king/chief, he doesn't particularly care much for overzealous courtiousness. He doesn't want to intimidate people as much as he does already w/ his unusual appearance and height.
all in all, he's intruiging to me bc of what he COULD be with what little we know of him !!! What's his island's culture like ? Can he really only growl or is it just a character hes doing ? (the comic and the NES point to the latter being the case, which depending on your intepretation either IS or ISNT canon w/ Wii) Where does all the food on Hippo Island come from and how does Hippo get so much of it ? How much of a culture shock is the USA in comparison to Hippo Island for him ? Was he chosen as king or is it a bloodline ?
also the monster liker in me cant resist him.
Look at me finding ways to be more active, ay?
Punch-Out people.. Favourite boxer and why? I'm expecting full paragraphs here. Essays. Novels. Scientific theories. Google documents with over 70k words. Give me your best.
Or just answer with 'because' or 'boobs'. You know your priorities.
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