#can we not make up fake issues from normal things?

[shadesofmauve]

I want to step away from the art-vs-artist side of the Gaiman issue for a bit, and talk about, well, the rest of it. Because those emotions you're feeling would be the same without the art; the art just adds another layer.

Source: I worked with a guy who turned out to be heavily involved in an international, multi-state sex-slavery/trafficking ring.

He was really nice.

Yeah.

It hits like a dumptruck of shit. You don't feel stable in your world anymore. How could someone you interacted with, liked, also be a truly horrible person? How could your judgement be that bad? How can real people, not stylized cartoon bogeymen, be actually doing this shit?

You have to sit with the fact that you couldn't, or probably couldn't, have known. You should have no guilt as part of this horror — but guilt is almost certainly part of that mess you're feeling, because our brains do this associative thing, and somehow "I liked [the version of] the guy [that I knew]", or his creations, becomes "I made a horrible mistake and should feel guilty."

You didn't, loves, you didn't.

We're human, and we can only go by the information we have. And the information we have is only the smallest glimpse into someone else's life.

I didn't work closely with the guy I knew at work, but we chatted. He wasn't just nice; he was one of the only people outside my tiny department who seemed genuinely nice in a workplace that was rapidly becoming incredibly toxic. He loaned me a bike trainer. Occasionally he'd see me at the bus stop and give me a lift home.

Yup. I was a young woman in my twenties and rode in this guy's car. More than once.

When I tell this story that part usually makes people gasp. "You must feel so scared about what could have happened to you!" "You're so lucky nothing happened!"

No, that's not how it worked. I was never in danger. This guy targeted Korean women with little-to-no English who were coerced and powerless. A white, fluent, US citizen coworker wasn't a potential victim. I got to be a person, not prey.

Y'know that little warning bell that goes off, when you're around someone who might be a danger to you? That animal sense that says "Something is off here, watch out"?

Yeah, that doesn't ping if the preferred prey isn't around.

That's what rattled me the most about this. I liked to think of myself as willing to stand up for people with less power than me. I worked with Japanese exchange students in college and put myself bodily between them and creeps, and I sure as hell got that little alarm when some asian-schoolgirl fetishist schmoozed on them. But we were all there.

I had to learn that the alarm won't go off when the hunter isn't hunting. That it's not the solid indicator I might've thought it was. That sometimes this is what the privilege of not being prey does; it completely masks your ability to detect the horrors that are going on.

A lot of people point out that 'people like that' have amazing charisma and ability to lie and manipulate, and that's true. Anyone who's gotten away with this shit for decades is going to be way smoother than the pathetic little hangers-on I dealt with in university. But it's not just that. I seriously, deeply believe that he saw me as a person, and he did not extend personhood to his victims. We didn't have a fake coworker relationship. We had a real one. And just like I don't know the ins-and-outs of most of my coworkers lives, I had no idea that what he did on his down time was perpetrate horrors.

I know this is getting off the topic, but it's so very important. Especially as a message to cis guys: please understand that you won't recognize a creep the way you might think you will. If you're not the preferred prey, the hind-brain alarm won't go off. You have to listen to victims, not your gut feeling that the person seems perfectly nice and normal. It doesn't mean there's never a false accusation, but face the fact that it's usually real, and you don't have enough information to say otherwise.

So, yeah. It fucking sucks. Writing about this twists my insides into tense knots, and it was almost a decade ago. I was never in danger. No one I knew was hurt!

Just countless, powerless women, horrifically abused by someone who was nice to me.

You don't trust your own judgement quite the same way, after. And as utterly shitty as it is, as twisted up and unstead-in-the-world as I felt the day I found out — I don't actually think that's a bad thing.

I think we all need to question our own judgement. It makes us better people.

I don't see villains around every corner just because I knew one, once. But I do own the fact that I can't know, really know, about anyone except those closest to me. They have their own full lives. They'll go from the pinnacles of kindness to the depths of depravity — and I won't know.

It's not a failing. It's just being human. Something to remember before you slap labels on people, before you condemn them or idolize them. Think about how much you can't know, and how flawed our judgement always is.

Grieve for victims, and the feeling of betrayal. But maybe let yourself off the hook, and be a bit slower to skewer others on it.

[genderqueerdykes]

can the online lesbian community please stop treating butches like we're walking strap ons.

for years now i've had to avoid the butch lesbian tag on here because 80% of the posts are people yearning about a butch's strap on, or something else about a butch fucking them. it's fine and normal and healthy to express lesbian sexuality. being attracted to butches is good and fine, and yea of course its hot when a butch wears a strap. like duh

but when all i see people talk about is our straps (never our penises, only strap), or fantasizing about how big and strong we are, or all the things we could physically do to them, how we would be their Big Strong Butch and provide for them and take care of them and make it so that they don't have to go to work... it makes me wonder if people see us as. people. or if we're just walking workhorses and sex toys.

like, are you gonna be there for your butch in a way that doesn't involve sex when they're having a bad day? are you gonna be there to listen when they discuss butchphobia? are you gonna help them bring in their groceries because they're physically disabled and can't be strong for you? are you going to defend them when they lock up in an anxiety attack while they're being misgendered? are you going to be there to reassure them that they're still butch no matter what anyone else says? are you going to be accepting when they come out as trans, genderqueer, non binary, or another gender? are you going to treat intersex butches with dignity and respect and not immediately default to misgendering us?

are you going to be there to help them domestically? are you going to be there to help drive them to work, class or shopping because they're too disabled to drive? are you going to care about them as a person if they become too disabled to have sex anymore, experience reproductive health issues, or lose interest in sex? are you going to be normal about them telling you they're asexual? are you going to focus solely on their appearance? are you going to be normal about them being fat? are you going to listen to them when they talk about their interests? are you going to be the one that cuddles them when they wake up from a PTSD nightmare drenched in sweat and addled with fear?

or are we just walking sex toys? it's bad enough that none of the online lesbian community acknowledges that some lesbians have their own penis. god forbid a biopenis shows up. rubber dicks? a-okay. flesh and blood penis? THREAT! if folks are fiending so hard for dick, why's it gotta be a dildo? you really can't accept a butch that has a penis, whether they were born with it or got bottom surgery? you want a penis on the butch soooooooooooo bad but it has to be silicone? really? you're really gonna throw all the lesbians with dicks out despite how horny you are? what's the double standard here about? is it really that hard to treat butches like people? are we really just play things that don't have feelings to the uninitiated?

this shit's a joke. treat butches better. don't be like this. we're people. we're not walking (fake) dicks.

[taeyongdoyoung]

treat you better

summary: getting invited to your ex's wedding sucks. but going there with your fake boyfriend makes it so much better... pairing: dino x reader genre: angst, best friends+fake dating to lovers, fluff, smut warnings: swearing, mentions of alcohol, past relationship, cheating, shitty ex, confidence issues, dino is slightly younger than reader+calls her noona, confessions, kissing, consensual filming, female masturbation, praise, unprotected sex, cockwarming, choking author's note: the title is inspired by treat you better and the plot is influenced by my reading of the songs boyfriend and the only exception word count: 2.2k

You're gonna need another bottle of soju to process what you just heard.

"Let me do it for you," your best friend Dino suggests.

"What?" you gasp in shock.

"Let me be your fake boyfriend. Take me to your ex's wedding as your plus one. I bet he's gonna be sooo mad he missed out on you. You keep complaining that you're gonna feel pathetic to show up alone, so…" he keeps speaking and you are too stunned to react normally.

So, you just laugh.

"What's so funny?" Dino frowns.

"He's never gonna buy that," you shake your head.

"Why not?" your friend is genuinely confused.

"I never date younger guys. Literally everyone knows that. It's like…my rule."

"I'm not that much younger!" Dino argues. "And isn't that kinda prejudiced?"

"It's nothing personal," you explain. "I just had this really bad experience and…"

"You can't seriously swear off all younger guys just because of one shitty guy," he insists.

"Hey, why are you getting so riled up?" your brows furrow in suspicion. "It's not like we're dating for real."

"I just feel like I need to defend the honour of…younger guys," Dino huffs, avoiding your gaze.

Cute, you think to yourself.

"You are the only exception," you gently push his arm with your own.

"So, you'll do it? You'll introduce me as your boyfriend to your shitty ex's wedding?"

Oh, shit. You're probably gonna regret agreeing to this in the morning. But your pride can't take another hit. Being with your ex for five years only to find out he's been cheating and is now marrying the girl he cheated with a mere month after your break-up completely shattered any confidence you had. So, when Dino suggests that, as wild as it sounds, you can't resist but take him up on his offer. What do you have to lose?

The wedding sucks just as much as you thought. You get a couple of pitiful stares from the people who know you and the groom were a couple. You try to ignore them and their unwelcome comments. And do your best to focus on Dino who was so kind to suggest coming with you.

"Thanks for doing this," you whisper. "I know it can't be easy."

"Are you kidding? Free food and I get to be around the prettiest girl? What's easier than that?" Dino chuckles.

"I don't get it," you reply, "What's in it for you?"

Dino shrugs.

"Just want you to be happy. Although…these people don't deserve you in their lives."

"You're right," you admit with a sigh. "Although it's gonna take me some time to build up my confidence."

"I'll be with you for every step of the way," he promises calmly.

You are about to express your gratitude when you notice your ex walking up towards you two. What the fuck?

"What am I supposed to say?" you hiss in Dino's ear.

"I don't know, he's your ex, not mine," your fake boyfriend rolls his eyes in annoyance.

"Y/N! Thanks for…uh, coming to my wedding," your ex blurts out awkwardly. "It can't be easy," he unknowingly repeats your words.

"On the contrary. It's the easiest thing in the world," you respond nonchalantly. "Congratulations, by the way."

"Um, thank you. I just didn't expect you to…"

"To bring a date?" you grin, the picture of innocence.

"Ah, yeah, that…Listen, can I have a word with you? In private?" your ex asks. Oh, the audacity of this fucker!

"Whatever you have to say, you can say in front of my boyfriend," you smile politely. "We don't have any secrets from each other. Unlike some people…"

At those words, your ex freezes in place. The gears in his brain seem to start working and looking for a way out of this conversation. Well, he brought it upon himself.

"Totally, noona and I are always honest with each other," Dino chirps adorably. "Right, noona?"

Oh, God. What a sweetheart.

"Absolutely, Channie," you giggle, arm in arm with your best friend.

"It just seems odd," your ex still can't let this go. "How long have you been…seeing him?"

"I don't see how that's any of your concern," you reply coldly.

"I thought you didn't date younger guys," your ex points out.

"And I thought you weren't a lying piece of shit. I guess people change," you keep smiling despite it all. "Enjoy your wedding."

With that, you take Dino's hand and lead the way towards the door. You've had enough of this garbage. You realize you don't even care about what your ex or his friends think of you anymore. You just needed to do this…for yourself. And now, you feel free.

🦦🦦🦦

Back at your place, you are surprised by your resilience not to cry. So what if your shitty ex got married before you? So what if he cheated? At least you're a decent human being and you have a wonderful best friend who offered to come with you. It felt so good being honest about your feelings. And the fact Dino supported you through it all? You will never forget that.

"Thank you for being there for me," you tell Dino, as you make yourself comfortable on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand.

"You’re welcome. Just stop dating shitty guys, okay?" he winks.

"Easier said than done. If you know someone decent, you should introduce them," you joke.

"Why not me?" Dino says in a concerningly serious tone.

You start laughing again. Because he has to be kidding. Right?

"Why is it so funny to you?" he pouts, feeling offended. "Is it because I’m younger? That’s bullshit and you know it."

Oh, fuck. He actually means this?!?!

"It’s not that, Channie…"

"Then, what? I can treat you better than any guy you’ve ever dated. I would never cheat on you or hurt you. Why not me?" Dino repeats desperately.

The sincerity in his voice is so striking that you are tempted to give this a try.

"Because you’re too good for me. What if I fuck things up? I won’t just be losing a partner, but my best friend. I can’t…I can’t imagine my life without you in it."

Dino grabs your hands in his eagerly.

"And what if you don’t fuck anything up? What if we’re perfect for each other? Please, just consider this. I’m not asking you to respond rightaway. Just…try to think about it with an open mind."

There’s not much to think about. Dino is an amazing, gorgeous, ridiculously sweet guy. And in the past you’ve only dated assholes who hurt you. So, you’re afraid. In your gut, you know that Dino would never harm you. But you are worried that your previous relationships damaged you so bad that you’re now the one capable of doing the hurtful things. And yet…a bigger part of you is curious, desperate, hopeful even to give this a chance.

Because you can see how honest Dino is. And because your heart has been pushing down the crush you’ve had on your best friend for far too long...

"I don’t need time to think," you confess. "I really like you, Channie. But I’m petrified by the fear of harming you and losing you."

"You won’t," Dino insists. "You’re a good person, noona. You deserve good things."

You find that hard to believe but maybe this time it’s worth taking a leap of faith.

"Can I kiss you?" he inquires gently.

Oh, wow. No one has ever asked you that. They just took what they believed was expected. You feel a sudden, but brief pain in your chest at how thoughtful Dino is. And how you’ve been settling for less.

"Of course, you can," you agree with a smile and Dino wastes no time in connecting your lips together.

You busy your hands playing with his hair, as he places his palms on both sides of your face, the action so intimate and yet quite natural. The kissing goes on for a while. You are greedily craving more but you say nothing.

"Let me take you out on a date!" Dino suggests suddenly.

"Right now?" you ask, gasping for air.

"Or tomorrow!"

There’s no way in hell you can wait that long to see him again.

"Right now is good."

"Okay. Where do you want to go?"

Huh? Yet another thing you’ve never been asked. Most of your dates had been at restaurants and cinemas. Sometimes you heard the stereotype that guys were supposed to plan the dates. But honestly? You wished someone asked your preference at least once. And now that it is finally happening, you blurt out the first thing that comes to mind.

"Do you want to go to the amusement park?" you make sure to ask Dino. Because if it isn't his cup of tea, you will feel awful about forcing your interests on him.

"That sounds fun!" he agrees, grabs your jackets and rushes outside.

Once at the amusement park, you feel like you’re living your childhood dream of an ideal first date. You go through the fast and scary rides first. After that, Dino wins an adorable otter plushie for you in one of those shooting games. Then, you have a quick break by eating hotdogs and cotton candy. And for the grand finale, you get on the Ferris wheel and enjoy the sunset view of the city.

"This was perfect," you murmur in awe, as you reach the highest point of the wheel.

Dino kisses you softly, holding your hands once more. You are in heaven.

"Now, it’s perfect," he adds.

And you can’t help but laugh again.

"What is it?" Dino wants to know.

"I’m just…happy."

"Well, get used to it. I’m planning on making you happy all the time."

🦦🦦🦦

"I don't know, Channie…" you mumble hesitantly upon hearing his surprising request.

It's been a while since you started dating and though you've already done many things to build up the trust between you two, filming something so personal is uncharted territory.

"I'd never show it to anyone," Dino vows.

"I believe you," you sigh. "But what if your phone gets stolen or something?"

"I'll password-protect it. And never, ever let someone steal my phone," his adorable eyes are so full of conviction you find yourself saying "yes".

"Should I take off my dress?" you ask nervously.

"Not yet," Dino responds as he sets up his phone. "Can you start by touching yourself for me?"

You didn't know you were so camera-shy until this moment.

"No one else is gonna see this," he promises you once again. "Just focus on me. Look into my eyes, not the camera."

You nod trustingly and open your legs for him. Spreading your folds slowly and teasing yourself with your hands, you quickly forget about the phone recording.

"You're doing so well for me, noona," Dino praises you sweetly. "Look so perfect."

"It feels so nice," you admit. "Need you, Channie."

"How do you need me?" he asks.

"Need your cock inside me," you beg. "Please?"

"Alright, sweetheart," Dino smiles and unzips his jeans with one hand, still holding the phone with the other. "Still good with this?" he makes sure.

"Yes, it's okay," you reassure him, fully confident in the fact he'd never use such footage against you.

Dino teases the tip of his cock against your pussy.

"My pretty girl," he mumbles and starts sliding in deliciously. "Fits so nicely."

"Channie…" you cry out as you watch him record each measured thrust. "Fuck me harder, I won't break."

"Oh, angel, I don't know…" Dino speaks tentatively. He's always been so kind to you, but you trust him enough to want him to lose his composure.

"I promise, I'll be fine," you hold his free hand and intertwine your fingers.

Giving you one last look of contemplation, Dino's face completely transforms. He starts taking you roughly but still delightfully. What. The. Fuck? Where has he been hiding this?

"You're taking my cock so well, noona," he grunts.

"You feel so good inside me," you gasp, overwhelmed by the sensations.

"Want to ruin you for anyone else. Wanna be with you forever," Dino admits emotionally.

Oh, sweetheart…

"Don't need anyone else, Channie. Promise, I'm all yours," you exclaim in euphoria as he paints your walls white.

Dino ends the recording and leaves the phone lying on the bed next to you.

He holds you close, still refusing to slip out, cockwarming you for a bit and sleepily playing with your hair.

"Talk me out of the toxic urge to send this to your ex," Dino mumbles into your neck.

"Don't you dare!" you scold him playfully, because you know he wouldn't do something like that.

"Just kidding. He'll never get to see you like this again. That video is for my eyes only," Dino wraps his hand around your throat lightly.

"Damn right," you agree and your eyes trail down his pretty hands. "Choke me?" you don't know where this comes from but…might as well try.

Dino chuckles and says nothing as he tightens his hold on your neck. Fuck. It feels addicting. Trusting someone that much. Knowing he has all this power over you but he would never use it to actually hurt you…

You can't help but grin, still looking into his eyes. Moments later, he loosens his grip and lifts your chin up, meeting you for a tender kiss.

"Told you I'd treat you better."

The End

[natsaffection]

Redline. (Bonus 4) | N.R

Older!Motorsportboss!Natasha × Younger!Racing!Driver!Reader

Warnings: Age gap (N= 32, r=23), 18+! MINORS DNI! Restraints (handcuffs), strap on use, blowjob, oral (n receiving), strap riding

Word count: 3,8k

A/N: That was fun..

You were sitting in a team meeting, eyes blankly fixed on the screen where telemetry charts blinked in rhythmic flashes. Data, stats, numbers, normally you were locked into them. But today, the entire thing washed over you like white noise.

Because you weren’t thinking about tire degradation. Or fuel windows. Or even the race coming up. You were thinking about Natasha. It was just a flash in your mind, but it made your stomach twist with heat and giddiness.

Across the table, Natasha’s brows lifted. “Something funny, detka?”

You flinched like a kid caught daydreaming in class. “N-Nope. Just-uh. Sector times.”

Natasha’s eyes narrowed playfully. She knew. Not what you were thinking, but that it wasn’t sector times. Your face flushed. You gave a quick nod, muttered something about needing water, and bolted out of the meeting room, heart pounding.

You took a breath and let it out slowly, willing your skin to cool down. But the image..Natasha beneath you, panting..refused to leave. Then, just ahead near the security booth, you spotted a man you barely knew by name, fiddling with a pair of standard-issue handcuffs.

You slowed, watching him casually twist them around his fingers. Something inside you clicked. Perfect.

With a growing smirk, you approached. “Hi!” you called gently.

The guard nearly dropped the cuffs. “Oh! Uh- Ms. L/n, h-hello!”

You grinned, holding back a laugh at how pink he turned. “No need to panic. I just…saw the cuffs.” You motioned to his hands. “Think I could borrow them for a few days?”

He blinked. “The…The cuffs?”

“Yes..” you nodded, completely casual, though your heart was racing. “Not for, like, arresting people. Just…practice.” You offered a crooked smile that probably didn’t help.

He stared for a beat, then nodded so hard it nearly shook his cap off. “Y-Yeah! Of course! You can totally- uh, here.” He offered them with both hands like you were royalty.

You took them carefully, feeling the cold weight of them in your palms.

“Thanks, really.” you said.

“I know you’re probably busy…but…my kids are a huge fan! C-Could we make a photo?”

“Of course! You gave me your cuffs. Least I can do.” He fumbled his phone out so fast he nearly dropped it, and you leaned in with a bright smile, snapping a quick photo before giving him a quick wave and strolling off, handcuffs tucked in your hoodie pocket, heart pounding.

Now, your room became a workshop. The cuffs lay on the table beside your laptop as you queued up video after video, escape artists, magicians, tactical demos. All of them showing quick, fluid techniques. One-handed flips, snap-click-lock or misdirection.

You practiced until your wrist ached. Pick up from the left. Fake a caress. Flip. Click. Pick up from behind. Loop the wrist. Snap it shut in one smooth motion.

You dropped them at least twenty times. Cursed under your breath just as often. But the vision..Natasha, hands locked above her head, blinking in surprise as you stepped back with a devilish smile, kept you going.

You rehearsed your lines in the mirror, cheeks warm with nerves. Sometimes you had to stop, burying your face in your hands and giggling like a teenager. But each night, you got faster. Smoother. Until you could click both cuffs shut in under three seconds. It had to be fast.. Because Natasha didn’t surrender easily.

Days later, the door slammed shut behind you, laughter and adrenaline still buzzing between kisses. You didn’t even remember how you’d made it from the car to the apartment, just that Natasha’s lips hadn’t left yours once.

Natasha was already pressing your back toward the bed, her hands firm on your waist, guiding you like she always did, in control, composed, knowing exactly where this was going.

But tonight, you had other plans..You crashed onto the mattress in a tangle, mouths locked, breath sharp, bodies already buzzing from the familiar fire between you. Natasha’s hand was sliding under your shirt, her thigh nudging between your legs, her rhythm confident, possessive.

Just like always.

You kissed her harder, then shifted. A quick twist. A practiced motion. Natasha landed with a soft grunt on her back. You moved fast, crawling over her, straddling her hips as your fingers dipped behind the pillow, feeling the cool bite of metal.

Natasha didn’t even blink, her hands tugging at your shirt now, eyes hooded. “Mmm, taking charge tonight?” she teased, voice dark velvet.

“Something like that..” you murmured, leaning down to kiss her again, slow this time, deep and purposeful. And as she reached up to cup your jaw..click.

You pulled back. One of Natasha’s wrists was now bound to the bedframe. There was a second of stunned silence. Natasha blinked. Looked up. A flash of confusion, a flicker of surprise, then amusement blooming like wildfire across her face.

You sat back on your thighs, grinning ear to ear, eyes sparkling like a kid who just pulled off the prank of the century.

“Oh my God..” you whispered, practically vibrating. “It actually worked!!”

Natasha laughed softly, raising a brow. “You planned this?”

You nodded, still catching your breath. “For days. Like..full-blown practicing. On myself. On a chair. I made your security guy give me the cuffs.”

“Wait- Mark gave you his cuffs?”

“He was so flustered he didn’t even ask why..” you laughed. “I gave him a selfie to say thanks.”

Natasha just shook her head in disbelief, still half-laughing. Her free hand was resting on your thigh now, her touch light but warm. “You little thief.”

For a moment, Natasha simply stared at you. And then, she raised her free hand and snapped her fingers.

“Key.”

You reached into your pocket, took the small key between your fingers, and flicked it, sailing it across the room, where it landed somewhere.

Natasha’s brow shot up. “…You didn’t.”

“I did.”

Natasha laughed, a low, dangerous, almost impressed sound. “You’ve got guts, I’ll give you that..”

She gave the cuff another pull, testing it. Realizing it wasn’t going to budge. Her muscles flexed under you, strong and coiled, and her eyes locked on yours, sharp and unreadable. “You sure you know what you’re doing? You think you can handle me like this?”

You leaned in, lips brushing her ear as you whispered, “I don’t think I can. I know I will.”

Natasha exhaled through her nose, eyes dark with challenge now. “You better make it worth it, sweetheart. Because when I get out of these…” Her free hand trailed slowly down your thigh, grip firm. “You’ll be begging.”

You grinned, hips shifting just right as you settled in. “Guess.. I better make you beg first.”

Natasha leaned back into the pillow, watching you with a predator’s patience. One wrist still cuffed to the bed, the other resting lazily on her stomach like this was just another game she’d already won. But her eyes… they tracked every movement, sharp and focused.

Your hands moved slowly, purposefully, as you started to peel away Natasha’s clothes. Every inch of exposed skin earned you a lingering look, that trademark Romanoff smirk never fading.

“Careful, malysh (baby),” Natasha drawled, voice low and thick with heat. “You undress me like that, and I might think you’re trying to seduce me.”

You just smiled, sweet, smug, and pushed Natasha’s pants down past her hips.

And paused.

Your eyes widened for just a second, a breath catching in your throat as you realized what Natasha was already wearing beneath.

A harness. Strap in place., ready and waiting. “Wha-” you blinked, somewhere between stunned and amused. “You were…you had this on?”

Natasha chuckled, low and dangerous. “You’re not the only one who had plans tonight.”

You looked up, eyes glinting. Natasha tilted her head, smirking like a cat who’d let the mouse think it had a chance. “You want it?” she teased, flexing her hips slightly. “Unlock me. And maybe I’ll let you ride it properly.”

But you didn’t move for the cuffs. Instead, you shifted, lowering yourself between Natasha’s thighs, your mouth now dangerously close to the toy. Your fingers slid over the harness, gaze locked onto hers.

“I’ll use it just fine, thank you..” you murmured and then you wrapped your lips around the tip.

Natasha’s smirk faltered. Her mouth parted, eyes going a little wider as she watched you suck slowly, deliberately, dragging your tongue along the underside like you meant to break her. Her free hand clenched the sheets.

“God..” Natasha breathed, hips shifting instinctively.

You glanced up at her, teasing, and went deeper, taking more of the strap into your mouth, slow, wet sounds filling the room. You hollowed your cheeks, working it like you were showing off, like you knew exactly how much it was affecting her.

And Natasha was affected. Badly. She tugged on the cuff again, harder this time. The chain clinked against the bedframe. “You-” she gasped, a small laugh breaking through her curse. “You little brat…”

You pulled back just enough to speak, your voice smug and sweet against the toy. “Still think I can’t handle it?”

Natasha swallowed hard, chest rising and falling with growing tension. “You’re so in trouble when I get out of these..”

You just grinned, lips brushing the base of the strap as you whispered, “Then maybe I’ll keep you there a while longer.”

And without another word, you took the whole thing in, deep, slow, confident, watching Natasha struggle. She was staring down at you, breathing heavier now, eyes slightly glazed, like she couldn’t decide whether to smirk or moan.

“You look so cute like this..” you murmured, voice low. Your fingers trailed slowly over Natasha’s hips as you moved down again,

Natasha’s free hand curled into the sheets. “You’re proud of yourself, huh?” she rasped, voice rough with tension.

You didn’t answer. You just settled between her thighs, nudging them wider. Your hands slid up, palms smooth against soft skin, and then..Your tongue met her core.

The reaction was instant. Natasha tensed, hips twitching off the bed, a soft gasp escaping before she could stop it. She grit her teeth, chest rising sharply, her arm pulling against the cuff again.

You smiled into her. You started slow, using your tongue with purpose, teasing circles and flicks that made her thighs tremble.

Natasha exhaled harshly through her nose, trying to stay quiet, trying to keep her body still. She bit her bottom lip, eyes locked on the ceiling, muscles taut like a wire about to snap.

But then..You found that spot. You pressed your tongue there, slow and firm, then sucked, just once, deep and focused.

Natasha bucked. “F-Fuck—!” The curse burst from her mouth, sharp and unfiltered. Her head snapped back, eyes fluttering shut as her body jerked. She yanked hard against the cuff, her free hand flying to the headboard like she could tear the whole damn thing apart.

You moaned softly at the reaction, proud and fueled by it. You pulled back just enough to whisper, breath hot against her core, “You love this.”

Natasha panted, teeth clenched. “Y/n, Fuck you.”

You laughed, low and dangerous. “Maybe later..”

And then you dove back in, tongue working faster, deeper, mouth devouring her like you wanted to leave her breathless and wrecked. Every twitch, every shaky breath, every curse spilling from her lips only pushed you further.

She tried to hold back, tried to keep the illusion of control, but it was slipping.. You could feel the tension coiling beneath her skin like a live wire. Her thighs trembled with every flick of your tongue, and her breath came in ragged bursts, sharp, guttural, completely unguarded.

But she still hadn’t said the word. Not the one you wanted to hear. You smirked against her, dragging your tongue in slow, lazy strokes, circling her clit without pressure, just enough to make her need it, not enough to let her fall. You flattened your tongue and licked her again, then pulled away entirely, letting your breath ghost over her skin.

She cursed under her breath, hips jerking up, chasing the contact. “Oh? That close already?” you purred, kissing her inner thigh. “And you haven’t even told me what you want..”

You looked up through your lashes. Natasha’s eyes were dark, lips parted, chest rising and falling fast. She was beautiful. Ruined. Desperate. But still clinging to her pride.

“Hah…” she exhaled through her teeth, free hand gripping the sheets hard. “You think this is new to me, baby? You think I haven’t been edged before?”

You laughed softly. “Yeah, but not by me..Common Nat..”

Then you leaned back in and sucked her clit, deep and wet, just for a second. Natasha cried out, still not a single word, not a plea, just a raw, broken sound. Her hips bucked hard, her body chasing every inch of pressure like it was the only thing grounding her.

You pulled back again. “You gonna ask for it?” you whispered, licking your lips.

Natasha shook her head, breathing hard. “No fucking way.”

You raised a brow. “You sound like you’re about to lose your mind.”

“Y/n.” she hissed.

You kissed the inside of her thigh again, dragged your nails lightly down her skin, then dipped your head once more, letting your tongue work with new intensity, hard, fast, deep.

And she lost it. She rolled her hips, chasing every flick of your tongue. Her head slammed back against the pillow, one arm still restrained, the other clenched in the sheets so tight it might rip them apart.

Still..no begging. Just gasps, groans and curses. You pressed your tongue flat again, relentless, never breaking rhythm. You knew she was there, right there, teetering, and you didn’t plan to let her fall until she was exactly where you wanted her.

“You’re shaking..” you whispered, licking slowly up again. “Please Natasha..let me hear it..”

Natasha grit her teeth, eyes fluttering shut. “I swear t-to god…”

You smiled. “Still not?”

Her only answer was a strangled moan that sounded almost like a yes. And you accepted it.. So you went all in, tongue deep, rhythm perfect, sucking and circling and dragging her right into release.

She screamed..a raw, guttural sound, hips jerking, body writhing, orgasm ripping through her. Her hand pulled at the cuff like she could tear the bed apart, thighs clamped around your head as wave after wave hit her.

Still, no: “please.” Just wild, shattered moans. You didn’t stop until she collapsed, chest heaving, eyes blown wide with aftershock.

Then you crawled up her body, kissed the corner of her mouth, and whispered, “That was better than begging.”

Natasha lay there chest rising and falling, one arm bound, the other limp on the sheets, knuckles white from how hard she’d gripped them. A slow smirk crept across her face, heavy-lidded eyes meeting yours as you leaned up slightly.

“Huh..” she breathed, voice rough and low, “you really went for it..I can’t believe it..” She whispered while brushing a bit of sweat from her forehead.

You wiped your mouth with the back of your hand, flushed and proud, crawling back up her body.

“You did good..” Natasha added, a cocky gleam in her eye despite how wrecked she looked. “I’ll give you that.”

You smiled sweetly…Too sweet. “Thanks.” you said simply, brushing a kiss to her cheek.

Natasha let her eyes fall shut for a moment, until she felt movement. Her eyes fluttered open again…and froze.

You were straddling her again. But this time? You weren’t going down to tease. You were going up.

Natasha’s breath caught as you positioned yourself over the strap still strapped to her hips, slick, already aching. Your hands rested on her stomach for balance, your expression calm…but your eyes burned with intent.

“Wait-” Natasha said, a slow smirk forming. “You’re not-”

You didn’t answer. You just started to lower yourself. Natasha’s pupils snapped wide.

“Y/n-” she grunted, jerking at the cuff instinctively, the chain clanging against the headboard with a force that made your head snap around.

You blinked. That was a strong pull. For a second, your eyes flicked up toward the frame, half-worried the metal might actually snap.

Natasha noticed. Her smirk turned lethal. “Oh?” she purred, voice dripping with danger. “You’re nervous now?”

You looked back at her slowly, a little breathless…but still smiling. “N-No.”

You lowered yourself further. The strap pushed inside you, slick and easy, but thick enough to make you gasp. Your fingers tightened on Natasha’s stomach.

Her jaw tensed, her arm flexing again. You exhaled slowly, rolling your hips downward inch by inch. You took it all the way in.

Seated flush against her. And Natasha groaned loud, helpless, her head falling back against the pillow as her hips instinctively tried to thrust, but had nowhere to go. All she could do was feel it.

“Jesus..” she choked out. “You’re- fuck, you’re soaked..”

You ground your hips in a slow circle, the pressure hitting just right. “I wonder why..”

You straightened again, hands sliding up your own body, down your thighs as you began to ride harder, deeper..slow, grinding, working yourself against the strap like you owned it. Like you owned her.

Natasha cursed under her breath, head tossing against the pillow. Her hips tried to follow, to thrust up, but with one hand chained and you in complete control, she couldn’t do anything but take it.

“Y/n..” she gasped. “You’re gonna make- feel so—!”

Another roll of your hips cut her off. Another deep, wet sound as you slid back down. Natasha’s eyes snapped shut, her chest arching, jaw clenched so hard it looked like it hurt. “I can’t-” she hissed.

You slowed again, pulling back until only the tip remained inside you, teasing the edge. Natasha whimpered..whimpered! And it wasn’t even intentional. You leaned down, your breath brushing over her mouth. “Can’t what, Natty?”

Her eyes fluttered open, dark, desperate, wrecked. She didn’t say the word..She couldn’t. But her eyes were begging. And you saw it.

You kissed her hard, biting, dominant, then sat back up, thighs trembling now from the slow burn as you dropped back down onto the strap, deep and hard, a slick sound filling the space between your bodies.

Natasha moaned, long, loud, involuntary. Her hand pulled at the cuff again, the chain rattling violently. “Y/n! G-God!!” Her voice was wrecked now, breathless, right on the edge. “You’re gonna- drive me fucking insane..”

You grinned, riding with perfect rhythm now, grinding deep against her, back arching as you let yourself chase the high. “That’s the plan.”

And Natasha? Helpless. Breathless. Drenched. Her mind slipping between pleasure and surrender, just barely holding onto that last thread of control.

She was breaking. Every inch of her body was flushed, trembling beneath you, breath ragged, voice reduced to raw, gasping moans. Her cuffed hand was bruised from how hard she’d pulled, and the other, finally reached up, grabbing at your waist, your side, anything she could touch.

“I need to-” Natasha groaned, fingers digging in. “Let me- fuck, I need—”

Your eyes widened slightly at the strength in her grip. Even in this state, she could flip you if she wanted.

But not this time. You grabbed her wrist with both hands, firm, focused, and pushed it back down to the bed.

“No touching..” you whispered, voice trembling with lust. “You don’t get to take tonight, Nat..”

Natasha let out a frustrated, wild noise, somewhere between a growl and a moan. “You’re.. gonna kill me..”

You leaned down, panting into her ear, hips slamming down hard onto the strap. You locked eyes with her, hands pinning her down, both arms restrained, one by cold metal, the other by your strength and sheer desire.

And then..You rode her. No more teasing. No more games. Just fast, filthy, relentless rhythm. Wetness coating everything. The sound of skin on skin filling the room. Your hips slammed down again and again, the strap hitting deep, you grinding hard against it with every bounce, every drop.

Natasha was gone. Her head tossed, mouth wide open, moans choked and broken. Her thighs flexed, her whole body trembling, helpless beneath you.

“Y/n- fuck- I’m..!” And she came.

Harder than before..louder, rawer, her voice breaking on your name. Her hips jolted, back arching off the bed, trembling uncontrollably.

And still..you didn’t stop. You chased your own release, using her body as your anchor. You moaned, breath hitching, the sight of her flushed and ruined pushing you over.

“Fuck..” you gasped, thighs shaking. “I’m gonna..Natasha—oh my G-God!”

You came with a cry, slamming down one last time, your body locking up as the orgasm ripped through you. Your nails dug into her wrists, your whole body trembling as you collapsed forward, grinding softly through the aftershocks.

And when you finally pulled away, the angle shifted. And the tip dragged just right against her again.

“Y-Y/n!” she gasped, body jolting. Her head dropped back, eyes squeezing shut as a choked moan escaped her throat.

You froze, wide-eyed. “s-sorry, I didn’t-”

Natasha let out a breathless laugh, arm flopping over her face. “Careful…” she groaned, voice shaking.

You bit your lip, trying not to smile. “Didn’t think that would still hit…”

Natasha peeked at you from under her arm, eyes glassy, lips parted, utterly wrecked. “It hit.”

You chuckled, spotted the key in the corner of the room, and carefully climbed off her. Your hands were still shaking as you picked it up.

When you turned back, Natasha was watching you. Flat on her back, one arm still cuffed, eyes half-lidded but focused now. That smirk from earlier? Gone. Replaced by something unreadable.

You chewed your bottom lip, key tight in your fingers. “You have to promise..” you said softly.

Natasha tilted her head. “Promise what?”

“That you won’t…” you hesitated, glancing at her body, then back up. “Flip this. Take over. The moment I let you go.”

She raised a brow, eyes gleaming. She said nothing. You narrowed your eyes. “Nat.”

Still nothing. Just that faint smile growing. You stepped back. “I’m not unlocking you.”

That earned a low laugh. “You’re bluffing..”

You didn’t move. And this time…she realized you weren’t. She let out a slow breath. “Fine.”

You waited. “I promise.” she said finally, voice low and warm. “I won’t do anything…without your permission.”

You searched her eyes for a long second. Then, slowly, you moved forward. You climbed onto the bed, into her space, and carefully slid the key into the lock.

With a soft click, the cuff popped open. A second passed. Maybe two- She moved like lightning. Flipping you beneath her in one fluid motion, your wrists immediately caught and pinned above your head.

You gasped, eyes wide. “Y-You promised!”

Natasha leaned down, nose brushing yours, eyes dark with heat.

“I did.” she whispered. “And I’m keeping it.” She didn’t move further. Didn’t dominate. Just held you there. Breathing the same air.

You blinked up at her, stunned. And then she kissed you. When she pulled back, her voice was barely a murmur. “Thank you for tonight.”

You swallowed. “You’re not mad?”

Natasha smiled, brushing her nose against yours. “Are you kidding? I’ve never been more turned on.”

Her grip softened. Her forehead rested gently against yours.

“But next time…” she whispered, lips brushing your ear, “You better run after you unlock me.”

You laughed, heart pounding. “Deal.”

-

-

-

-

[nobodyfamousposts]

Scarlet Lady Top 10 Favorite Characters: Number 8

@zoe-oneesama

Number 9 Here

...

...

...

Number 8: Nino

Oh Nino, Nino. Canon did you so poorly.

I can’t even preface this with a compare/contrast between how he is in Canon vs how he is in the comic. There’s nothing to compare. Nino in Scarlet Lady is vastly superior.

1. He makes me smile whenever he appears 

Yes, I know this reason is particularly subjective, but it’s true. Whether he’s making me laugh from some of his antics or making me smile at how wholesome he can be. He is just a character who cheers me up whenever he appears. Not because he tries to, but because that’s just who he is.

And as such, I’m counting it as a reason he’s on this list simply because he’s so enjoyable.

His expressions vary mostly between cute and hilarious. His attitude towards some of the situations he ends up in are very relatable. Not what he “should” do or what you would expect a show geared towards a specific demographic would have him do, but what a random person in his position would be likely to do—good and bad. 

Knowing he will inevitably be bailing Alya out of jail some day.

Screwing with Adrien about wanting to ask out Marinette himself.

Faking dead at the sight of Alya all dolled up for Chloe’s party.

Out of the core group, he is the one who most reminds me that these are teenagers. Sometimes selfish and often immature teenagers. While Adrien and Marinette are dealing with some variation of stress that comes from hero work and Alya is focused on her blog about the heroes, Nino is just vibing. He’s chilling and just trying to hang out and be a good friend.

All the fun antics and wholesome friend and teenage moments I was hoping for in Canon? Where we get to see them just be regular teenagers doing regular teenage things and be happy? They are here in Scarlet Lady. And Nino is one of the characters who shows that best.

He’s a silly. 

He’s a sweetie.

He’s an idiot sometimes, but I can forgive him.

Overall, Nino isn’t really mean. He can be a jerk at times, or selfish and dismissive, but we don’t see him really be mean to people and he doesn’t get snarky the way other characters do.

He’s just a very human very chill character living his life and doing the best he can and I love and appreciate him for it.

…though of course he wouldn’t be on this list if that was all there is to him.

2. Nino’s Role

Nino’s role is hard to place when compared to the other main characters of the story. But trust me, it’s there. And it’s actually deeper than most would think.

So in most stories and shows, there is a character who tends to have a non-main plot arc related but still emotionally impactful role. They can serve as a connection to normalcy in an increasingly non-normal situation. It’s not just about showing support to the main character, but being a link for both the heroes and the audience to the normal world that the heroes are supposed to be fighting for. They are a reminder of humanity and what is supposed to matter. They can also see things from the normal world perspective that the heroes would lose sight of because as heroes, they have to focus on the bigger world issues.

Here, Nino is tied to normalcy. While Adrien and Marinette and Alya are all focused on heroes in various ways, Nino is focused on more personal things. He is focused on his moviemaking and his dreams. He is focused on his family. He is focused on his friends and their feelings. 

He is focused on making sure his best friend has a good first school picture day. 

He is focused on helping his bro try dating the girl he likes.

He is focused on supporting a friend in the middle of a panic attack.

He is focused on supporting his girlfriend during a tough time.

He is focused on partying with his friends.

He’s just focused on hanging out and having a good time and making sure others are happy.

Nino focuses on things on a personal level from the viewpoint of a normal kid.

As such, when he DOES get involved in heroics, it’s primarily regarding the impact it has on him on a personal level—to save his little brother during a major monster attack. To try and stay safe during an akuma attack. And yes, to support his girlfriend after she finally catches on that her hero is a fraud.

Nino isn’t attached to the world of heroes the way that the other three members of the Quartet are. Some may say this makes Nino lacking, but I would argue that this gives Nino a perspective that the other three are missing.

It should say something that Adrien and Marinette have gotten so used to Scar’s antics that as much as they hate it, they’ve lost track of how truly problematic it is. It reached the point that it didn’t register to them that other people were in a position to finally see what they had been dealing with, much less that anyone would be freaked out by that reveal. They had long since moved past shock and anger to simple annoyance and resignation.

Adrien seemed to be bitter but still more or less resigned to his unfortunate circumstances while Marinette was willing to put up with it so long as she was able to help Chat in some way. They come to accept that working around Scar and dealing with her attitude is just part of the job to the point they lost awareness of things outside of that. This doesn’t make them bad or uncaring, but it does emphasize a need for a character who isn’t so entrenched in the issues and constant crisis with lack of assistance that he can notice and bring attention to the smaller and more personal things. Their regular proximity to Scar has left them detached in a way and unaware of how she’s impacted others. 

Nino is in a prime position to see and care—far enough to not be dragged into the drama but close enough to those affected to notice the effects. It is through this difference in position that Nino offers a perspective that the regular heroes can't. It’s what lets him be aware of other people, their needs, and the changes that they go through. Even when they themselves don’t realize it or the need for it.

This actually ends up being where Nino develops as a character. Because originally, he was…pretty bad at this to put it mildly. Maybe not Kim levels of oblivious, but still problematic.

Nino shows the makings of a leader. He has to if he wants to be a director. We see it in how he was able to take charge in Horrificator and Party Crasher. But leadership only works if it’s tempered by compassion and awareness regarding the other people involved, and that was something Nino struggled with.

He had a hard time picking up on things. He had a team but wasn’t really able to lead them or work with them properly because he was stuck in what he wanted or thought would be a good idea in the moment and didn't consider the feelings of those around him. He needed people at times to tell him what was going on and what impact he was having. And at times, even when he was told that something was wrong, he struggled to really listen. It stood to reason that he ended up with a mess, but at least he ultimately learned from it.

This kind of ends up becoming the core of Nino’s growth. He improved after the mess in Horrificator and wasn’t nearly as much of a jerk, but he still struggled with being able to read people. He acknowledges it as a weakness and actively tries to do better.

This is Nino’s arc. It isn’t as obvious or big or shiny since it’s one of the only ones not directly related to either of the main plots of Hawk Moth attacking the city or Scar/Chloe being the absolute worst. But we get to see over the course of the story how Nino is doing more to improve himself and be a better friend, a better person, and ultimately a hero.

As a result, Nino comes off as perhaps one of the more mature and levelheaded characters in the story…certain moments aside.

With Marinette focusing on helping Chat and Adrien focusing on surviving, it stands to reason that being the emotional support for their friends and helping resolve their personal NON-world crisis level problems would come as a secondary priority…and likely wouldn’t be addressed at all if things continued as is without intervention.

Nino ends up being the one who takes on that role. And it ends up being one of the most important roles in the story.

Remember, he is the one who helps Alya calm down from a panic attack in Animan. He later supports her as she's coming to terms with the reality of Scar not actually being heroic. He again helped her as Foxtrot to find a new goal for herself in Sapotis. He also reassured Chris in that same episode. He supported Adrien getting to be a normal teen with normal teen experiences in Bubbler. And again later with the reveal of Gabriel being Hawk Moth—both in taking the jerk down and knowing full well how much trouble this will bring Adrien.

And let’s also recall that this is all during the timeframe Nino is noted to have been struggling with this very thing and trying to improve. Alya calls him out on it in Dark Cupid. In Intermission 1, Nino was shown to still have mistaken Adrien’s crush as being on Marigold since Adrien’s lie the previous episode in Dark Cupid. He promised to “step up his game” after and be more aware.

And it shows. The very next episode is Animan, where Nino kickstarts the whole thing by setting up the hangout to allow Adrien and Marinette the chance to see if they could be more than friends.

These moments seem like such little things when compared to the bigger plot points of a super villain turning people into monsters or a hero stealing credit for city-saving she’s not doing, but they hit on a much more personal level because he is getting personal with people in a way they need but would otherwise be overlooked in the face of those “bigger problems“.

And the kicker is that said “bigger problems” would be continuing to keep the endgame events from happening without Nino there. 

NINO is the one who helped Alya come to terms with her hero being a fake and guided her on how to move forward. If not for him, she might have tried to rationalize it and double down on her defense of Scar—that it’s her way of being a leader and staying out of the direct fighting in order to keep her Miraculous safe, which is a reasonable conclusion given that is Gabriel‘s assumption in the story and that it would be a valid tactic in any other situation if it weren’t for it being Chloe being the one doing it. And even if she had accepted the truth, that hardly meant she would do anything about it. She might just have deleted her blog and gone into a depression, doing absolutely nothing the rest of the series. Meaning no Koki Marina, no expose on said fake hero, and no leads to the main villain.

NINO is the one who set up the all boys party in Party Crasher. Kim might have had the idea, but Nino was the one with the plan and the excuses already planned. Bad move? Yes. A choice that I am going to rag on him for? Definitely. But it’s also the reason that Ivan and Kim completed their character arcs and became heroes. That’s not to say other things couldn’t have happened to give them that chance, but this specific event is why it happened and if not for this, it may not happen at all. Fu was the one giving out Miraculous at the finale and he specifically chose those who had been chosen previously. Meaning that without this, there is a likelihood that there would have been less heroes to help out in the final battle. Or whatever heroes were chosen last minute would have had similar issues as Zoe being the new Bee hero with no prior experience or knowledge of the akumas.

NINO is the one who taught Adrien what friendship actually is. Adrien’s whole speech in Despair Bear about friendship? How they watch out for each other? Consider each other’s feelings? Make each other feel good when they’re together? THAT’S NINO! He’s a huge part of the reason Adrien grows and is able to recognize healthy relationships and what isn’t healthy. Nino taught Adrien what friendship is. Nino gave Adrien the knowledge and strength to confront Chloe and Gabriel.

And here’s a huge one: NINO is the one who helped Adrien realize his own improved emotional and physical state, lessened stress level, and that he doesn’t have to continue to deny himself a relationship or things that would make him happy in general. Up to that point, Adrien fully wanted to date Marinette but had decided to forego trying because he was too stressed and busy dealing with Hawk Moth and akumas on his own while being dragged down by a partner who wasn’t helping. While Marigold joining certainly helped the situation, Adrien had been carrying the weight alone for so long and had been so accustomed to denying/being denied things he wanted that he didn’t actually notice how much better he was doing until Nino pointed it out. In Adrien’s own words: “Can…can I really? Is it possible? Am I allowed?”

Yeah, no movement was going to be made there because Adrien had spent so much time convincing himself he couldn’t until Nino pointed out that he could.

Without this insight, odds are we wouldn’t see Adrien and Marinette getting to date or reveal their identities as long as Hawk Moth was still around. And when they did finally take him down, dating would probably be the last thing on their minds.

Nino helped progress a major plot point. If I’m being snarky, I would say he did more to actually help get them together than Alya did with all of her attempts in Canon. Just going to prove he is the better wingman.

It may not feel like that much in comparison to some of the other major arcs in the story, but sometimes it’s the little things that make the biggest impact and Scarlet Lady is a story that rewards us for paying attention to the little things.

Without Nino encouraging him to try, the endgame romance wouldn’t have happened. But more than that, since Adrien and Marinette getting together came with the reveal of their identities, that would also mean that Adrien wouldn’t have had the support he needed after his father’s defeat. 

We saw it when he was talking with Fu. Adrien was trying to minimize the severity of the situation and pretend everything was fine when it wasn’t. He wasn’t able to let himself break down until Marinette showed up to force the matter.

Marinette was able to support him and know just how bad it was because they knew each other‘s identities by that time—something that Fu clearly didn’t want them knowing even at the end. And while the friends were all willing to support him and house him, they didn’t actually know the extent of it. It’s one thing to find out your father is a supervillain. It’s another thing to be the one who had to help take him down and see the full extent of what he had done and was willing to do…and how little he cared.

That? All of that? Everyone being in prime position to be where they would be needed? Nino contributed.

To be fair, maybe things could have still worked out without Nino, but I’d be willing to bet they wouldn’t have worked out nearly as well.

That’s part of what makes Nino work. As a character. As a friend. And as a hero.

3. Nino The Hero

When you have a storyline that involves other established characters becoming heroes and joining the main hero team—even if only temporarily, there needs to be a reason. Or at least more to the choice than that they are the main character’s best friend and it’s obligatory that they get first pick.

I dislike making the comparison in this case because they’re different characters with different situations in different versions of the same story, but I have to say that of the two, it makes the most sense to me that Scarlet Lady Nino was the first temp hero chosen compared to his Canon version or even Canon Alya.

I can’t even try to make a comparison with Anansi because we all know there is nothing to compare. For what should have been his hero episode, he was stuck playing referee and barely did anything with the Miraculous he was given.

So instead let’s look at how they handled the situation in Sapotis.

In Canon, we see Alya rather ineffectively and pointlessly trying to corral her akumatized sisters while seeming to forget that trying to talk down akumas generally doesn’t work and that she couldn’t control them even when they weren’t akumatized. Then her arc for the episode was a mix of secret keeper and trust exercise when neither were ever acknowledged in Canon to be an issue for her previously.

In Scarlet Lady, Nino isn’t dealing with the Akuma problem, he’s just trying to rescue his little brother—a much better and more reasonable use of his time and efforts as something he could feasibly accomplish without superpowers. Not easily, of course, but still possible. Or at least more possible than trying to talk down endlessly multiplying gremlins without any idea which were the originals or had the item.

When Nino sees Chat Noir, he begs him for help to save his little brother. Then when he’s given the offer to help out himself, he jumps at the chance—not to be a hero but to save Chris. Becoming a hero is a means to an end for him, even amidst the wonders of learning about kwamis and having superpowers, Nino’s primary focus was on saving Chris.

This shows Nino has good focus. He’s also a team player, because he goes along with Marigold’s overly complicated plan even if he doesn’t really understand it or how it is supposed to work. He trusts at least that they will help and that they have a plan that can work. Plus he got a good zing at Scar by emphasizing Chat and Marigold as the heroes of the city and the ones he will take orders from. It was a callout but a more mature one by emphasizing Chat and Marigold’s efforts rather than simply insulting Scar the way that most of the other characters did. Because that’s how Nino is.

By this time in the story, he’s already working and making progress towards being a better person. Something that becoming a hero both helped with and confirmed this progress in. We see it in his acts as a new member of a team and in his actions as a singular newbie hero. He prioritized and rescued Chris even as the Sapotis were being dealt with (in contrast to Scar who is concerningly chill with letting people die because she can just bring them back anyway). And after taking Chris back and being on a time limit, he still took the time to help Alya under the guise of a new face and gave her direction and an outside perspective when she needed it. That’s what makes him a good hero, he’s got heart.

Alya put it best: “You comforted me, even as Fox Trot, like the sweetheart you are. Of course you’d be a super hero.”

Of course he would be a super hero! Of course he would be picked as the first temp hero! Not because he’s Adrien’s best friend or the convenience of Chris being involved and them needing an extra person, but because Nino has the qualities to be an effective and supportive hero. He’s caring, he has good ideas, his work with music and movies makes him a good fit for the Fox and powers of illusions, he is capable of working as part of a team, and he’s good at seeing problems and helping to come up with solutions. He has heart!

It’s something he holds on to throughout the series. It’s why he gets akumatized on Adrien’s behalf and then again for Alya in the finale. It’s why he reaches out to offer Adrien friendship and tries to support him when he needs it while also tempering some of his antics. It’s in the way he supports Alya without dismissing the problem or fixing things for her. It’s in the way he helps guide people to realizations and solutions without taking away their agency.

Nino is a huge reason why things worked out. For the endgame, for the relationships, for the heroes, for the city.

Scarlet Lady gave Nino the focus, development, relevance, and character that makes him worthwhile. And that is why he more than deserves a spot on this list.

[earlysunshines]

just pretend(?)

danielle marsh x fem!reader ; angst, fluff

synopsis: your coworker can’t seem to fall out of love with you so you convince your best friend to fake date you. sometimes the “fake” seems a little too real.

warnings: PINING!!! ; danielle is touchy and wonderful and reader is a mess ; kinda all over the place?? I'm also a bit iffy ab the pacing on this one ; bit of angst near the end ; alcohol ; anything else not mentioned ; not proofread… none of my fics are…

a/n: this is based off my life rn bc my friend and i r literally fake dating so my coworker can stop being in love w me and i just HAD to turn this into a fic like what (but most of this is exaggerated ofc esp the whole coworker thing I made her a little over the top on purpose for the plotLOL)

"absolutely not." hanni looks disgusted, almost appalled with that stupid expression on her face. “you’re crazy.”

"please, i'll pay you." you beg, clasping your hands together and giving her your best puppy eyes.

"you're going to scare the hoes away... no, no, and no.”

"what ‘hoes’ hanni? when is the last time you've talked to a girl." you groan and pinch the bridge of your nose.

she sticks her tongue out at you, then responds, “you wouldn’t know…”

“dumbass the only reason i’m begging is because women do want me. please, it’s not going to be serious or anything—“

“i don’t care, the answer is no. ask someone else!”

you’re currently perched on the edge of your best friend's bed, practically begging for help. you seem to have a knack for attracting the strangest types of people, and this time, it’s your coworker who’s got severe attachment issues and an unhealthy level of codependency. all you wanted was a paycheck and simplicity, but now you find yourself in a situation you never asked for.

your best friend groans again, “you and your flirting… it gets you into this shit time and time again and the way you act… you know what you’re doing.”

“what?”

“shut up, you act gay and you know people fall for that. i’m not gonna help you because you want to be an asshole, if you could just be normal for once—“

“fuck you.” you flop onto her bed, shutting your eyes and rubbing your face. “i’m just nice and it’s fun to flirt! it’s nothing. i flirt with my friends and you all the time, they’re fine with it.”

“that’s because they’re straight, y/n. gay people are very vulnerable – except me.”

“you would know.” you retort, earning a glare from hanni. “who the hell do i ask then?”

“haerin?”

“she wouldn’t.”

“yunjin?”

“we don’t match, plus, she dates around.”

“sakura?”

“edating someone right now, some girl in france?”

“the hell?”

“i know.” you sigh louder and hanni just looks at you with slight, playful disgust. “what do i do.” you flop your hands onto the mattress and stare up. “dude, she’s too obsessed, i’m flattered because i mean, maybe i’m attractive and whatnot but this is just–”

“--delusion at its peak.” hanni clicks her tongue, now smiling at you; an idea pops up in your best friend's big head. you turn to face her, raising a brow. “how about dani? she’s literally perfect.”

danielle marsh is perfect, that’s the problem.

she’s a biology major whose ipad pro notes are so neat and pleasing to the eye that they genuinely keep you awake at night – most of it being because you’re leeching off her, but they’re so neat it really has you thinking how she does it all. 

to make things even more bewildering (and impressive), she’s one of two people you know – you’re unsure whether your cousin hyein counts, high school is nothing compared to what you endure – who manages to get at least eight hours of sleep daily. in contrast, everyone else in your circle, including yourself, is barely hanging on by a thread. 

yet, danielle seems to have cracked the code. she even finds time to volunteer at the library where she works, making you wonder if she’s some sort of extraordinary being. her ability to balance everything so effortlessly leaves you in awe, often questioning if she’s even real considering how remarkable she is.

the worst part is that she’s your best friend, right after hanni, and the person you’ve been crushing on since your first semester of university. 

it’s impossible not to have a crush on her—she’s gorgeous, sweet, and embodies everything you could ever want and more. she’s captivating, and every time you see her she flashes that stupid, adorable smile that makes your heart do a flip regardless of how many times you’ve convinced yourself that she’s unattainable and that there’s no way and that you don’t even like her and–

“i couldn’t.” you shut hanni down, quick. “she’s… you know.”

hanni furrows both brows, turning her head. “she’s what?”

“you know.” you make some strange gesture with your hands that only confuse hanni further. 

“i don’t, just fake date her.”

“she wouldn’t agree.”

“sure she would, let me call her!”

you shoot up and look at hanni with an expression that screams ‘are you out of your mind?’ as she finds danielle’s contact on her phone. 

before you can stop her, you hear a ringing sound and feel your body give up. hanni grins at you when danielle picks up five seconds later, both of you hearing a friendly, “hi!” as you back away from her.

“hey mo dani!” hanni greets, giving you a shit eating smirk. “miss l/n has a question for you.”

“she’s with you?” danielle’s voice is sweet like honey even from the phone. “hi!”

“hey!” you greet a little awkwardly, glaring at hanni. 

“y/n was wondering if you could date her.” 

eyes widening, you leap and grab the phone from hanni immediately, sputtering out jumbles of words nervously, “n-no! i mean, yeah… but not for real.” 

“oh,” you hear danielle respond lowly from the end of the phone. “wait, i’m confused.”

hanni watches you close your eyes tightly, clearly flustered and thrown off by her little antics. 

“y/n came over to ask me to date her, not actually, but just like, pretend.” hanni explains, “her coworker is still in love with her.”

“sarah?” you hear from the other end of the phone. “i thought you rejected her like, three months ago.”

“i did, but she’s still… ugh.” you flop onto the bed again and danielle hears hanni laughing in the background. “she’s still stuck on me i think, i don’t know, she’s been so…”

“if it’ll stop bothering you then i’ll help!”

“you will?” you respond, shocked. hanni mouths an i told you, then gets shoved. 

“yeah! i don’t want my best friend being so bothered, it must make you uncomfy too, right? working with someone who likes you?”

you start to wonder if danielle would be uncomfortable in a similar situation, maybe in one where she’s friends with someone who likes her, but she’s unaware of that. you shake your head, clearing your mind and staying present.

“kind of, it’s just… extra stress.”

“okay, then let’s date!” she beams, you can picture her eyes scrunching and smile growing. you want to die (affectionate) just thinking of it. “this should be fun!”

“thanks for helping out dani, thanks so much. i’ll let you be, okay? gotta go um… run errands.” 

“alright! just text me, bye, love you.” the call ends and you sigh again, feeling yourself sink deeper into hanni’s sheets.

hanni is very much your mortal enemy, she still doesn’t know why you’re so distraught because of danielle. whatever the reason may be, it makes her cackle next to you.

–

it’s nine in the morning, you didn’t have time to pregame the lecture on microbiology with at least three shots of espresso, and you’re yawning as you leave the room.

you hear your name being called out and turn to see no one other than the feeling of hot chocolate on a cold, snowy day turned into a person walking towards you – danielle.

“hey! hi.” she greets, smiling wide. her hair is clipped up and small strands of her hair stick out cutely. “hey baby.” 

you almost choke. “what?”

“did you forget we’re dating now?”

“oh.” dating, but is it even that if it’s not real? “um, hey babe?” it comes out uncertain and danielle laughs.

“wow, you suck at this – it’s okay, we’ll work on it.” she giggles, then links her arms with you. “let’s go get coffee, i need it in my system right now. oh my god, it’s our first date!”

laughing to hopefully fade away all signs of being flustered to oblivion, you tighten your arm that’s locked with hers. “right, yeah.”

you’re going on a ‘date’ with the prettiest girl on campus, she’s paying for your iced americano with oat milk splashed into it, and she’s smiling at you like you’re laughter in the rain. this can’t be good for you, it can’t be — it’s not. you wonder whether this will be worth it in the end because your coworker doesn’t even know about any of it.

(yet.)

–

before your next shift with your delusional coworker, you and danielle have already conjured up a storyline and backstory for your whole arrangement.

you two conversed for an hour after walking towards the park near her apartment and sitting down next to each other on the swings like kids. danielle was giggling and you were smiling at how charming she looked. unfortunately, you found yourself falling even harder for her just from making up the whole fake story.

danielle suggested keeping it simple, but cute: you two met at the library she worked at, you found her cute and exchanged numbers, went on a few dates, and have been girlfriends for nearly two months.

“but i literally told sarah that i wasn’t looking for anything.” you explain, sighing as you kick the mulch on the ground. that’s what you had said, but what you meant was that you’ve been looking for danielle the whole time. “she won’t believe it.”

“well,” danielle gives you a cheeky look and giggles. “i managed to charm you in a way that pushed that whole idea aside. that’s not too unbelievable, right?” she winks at you and you feel your heart stop momentarily.

you scoff playfully and snicker, “oh shut up.”

“it’s part of the story! are you saying i have no charm…”

she has too much charm. 

“dani, you’re such a dork.”

“a dork that caught your heart! i think this story is perfect.”

pushing aside the slight ache in your heart and the flush in your cheeks, the two of you formulate a first date story: you took her out bowling, where you lost terribly to her (danielle insisted this detail had to be included), and then you both had dessert together at your place. 

it’s not a terrible story, not at all. even hanni would be impressed, but you’re not going to tell her because she’d tease you both relentlessly, and you’re not sure your heart could handle that.

–

danielle walks you into work holding your hand, your coworker, sarah, watches the whole thing.

a pretty girl (pretty is an understatement in your opinion) smiles at you while walking you in, she’s telling you about the little kids she read to the other day and you can’t help but marvel at the excitement coursing through her.

she drops you off near the register right before the small ‘employees only’ sign, then holds both of your hands and looks at you like you’re a flower that’s just bloomed beautifully.

she pauses, observing you closely, then smiles wider. “okay, i’ll get going sweetheart.” the pet name makes you swallow subtly. “have fun at work!”

she takes her hands away from yours, making your skin feel a little colder. “bye, see you.”

danielle glances at your coworker, who’s looking at her with something mixed with confusion, anger, and a hint of disgust. she then looks back at you – a better sight in her opinion – smiling and waving once more before walking away.

you stay there, frozen for a few seconds, before walking behind the counter and setting your bag down.

as you grab your apron, you catch sarah in your peripheral and turn to greet her. “oh, hey.”

“who was that?” she asks immediately. “what’s up with the ‘sweetheart?’”

you grin as while tightening the lace of your apron, then respond, “my girlfriend.” and it feels wonderful rolling off your tongue.

“what? i thought you didn’t want anything?”

“you still in love with me or something?”

she feels her throat dry as she looks at you pat down your apron. “w-what?” she stutters, shaking her head. “no, why would i be…” her tone isn’t convincing, and neither is she when she adds, “it’s just… what’s with the change of heart?”

“she’s really charming,” the thought of danielle begging you to mention that makes you blush. “i like her a lot.”

sarah fights back a frown, instead, her lips twitch into a forced smile as she walks past you to tend to a customer.

–

danielle picks you up from work just to tighten the knot, and sarah also witnesses all of it.

both you and your coworker get off at closing, and after locking the doors, you run into danielle. 

she’s standing outside in a baby tee and jeans, a cap perched jauntily on her head. the moment she sees you, her face lights up into a pretty smile, and you instinctively return it. she rushes over, wrapping her arms around you in a warm hug. as she pulls back, she scans you with a playful yet affectionate gaze, her eyes lingering on you with a mixture of admiration and curiosity.

“sweetheart! i missed you.”

“i missed you too dani– baby…” you mutter the last part shyly, making danielle giggle. “you came? it’s late.”

“i wanted to pick you up, can your girlfriend not do that?”

it still sends a shiver down your spine – hearing danielle call you that. you rub the back of your neck and look away nervously, then respond, “of course not, i’m just surprised.”

sarah looks at the two of you, scoffing under her breath. danielle hears it, turning to look at her and grin, raising her brows along with it before meeting you again. she places a hand on your shoulder, then mumbles, “well, hanni called us over, i wanted to scoop you.”

“ohhh,” it makes sense now, she wouldn’t willingly pick you up just because of the whole ‘fake dating’ thing, there had to be a motive. “alright. i can drive? if you’d like, you know. you must be tired from work too.”

“aw, you’d do that?”

“i um,” you cough, avoiding her eyes again because she’s making you feel all flustered without doing much. “yeah, it’s nothing… baby…”

she grabs your hand, fingers intertwining before dragging you along to her small suv, then handing you her keys. 

your coworker groans now that you two are further, narrowing her eyes at danielle when she turns back not so subtly to make sure sarah is looking. any normal person would back off, getting the hint that the person they want is unavailable, but sarah sees it as a challenge, somehow.

there’s nothing she can’t achieve when she puts her mind to it, that’s her mindset.

you’re oblivious to how insane she is, too clouded with how touchy and giggly danielle is after the whole interaction when teh two of you get in the car.

–

danielle sits besides you on hanni’s couch, leaning against you a bit. “yeah, she gave me a glare, it was kind of funny.”

“pftt– i guess it’s working then?” hanni asks, walking over to hand you two juice from her fridge. danielle takes it happily and it makes you smile a little. 

“i hope so.” you sip on your peach juice. “but she’s like, clinically insane.”

“is she?” danielle questions, tilting her head as her hand finds its way to your bicep. you blush.

“dude, she was crazy.” hanni rubs her temple. “like, oh my god, she was going insane for a good while because y/n didn’t want her like that. i saw their messages and–”

“okay i’ll tell the story thank you.” you scoff. “she’s really competitive, and i guess new to romance? considering how she reacted i don’t know, she’s very…”

“sensitive?” danielle asks – you shake your head.

“i mean no, but kind of. she would get jealous over me really easily and was kind of codependent, like everything i do affects her or something. i’d just go on my day, but she’d always be so reliant on me and text me so often and i just… it’s so much.”

“ah, i see. how long has it been since you rejected her?”

“a few months. i thought she stopped liking me since it’s been so long, but lately there’s been tension and she’s looking at me how she used to…” hanni listens closely as she watches you rub your forehead, looking a little distraught. “i just, oh my god she has terrible attachment issues it’s concerning. the only thing i could think of was pretending to date someone.”

danielle nods in understanding.

“yeah, one time i went to see y/n at work and she looked so like… hostile. that’s not normal, we’re visibly friends.” hanni adds.

you know the exact afternoon that it happened, what hanni mentioned that is. 

she had pulled up to drop something off, and you teasingly flirted with her, hugging her as thanks. afterward, you rang up one of her orders and played with her fingers, a little habit you had developed to annoy her. despite the evident look of disgust and annoyance on hanni’s face, your coworker—who allegedly liked you a bit too much—looked like hanni had just slapped you in the face or spat at you.

long story short, hanni glanced over to see the coworker glaring at her menacingly. in response, hanni poked at you once more before hurrying out with a latte in her hand, confused and slightly terrified.

“yeah she’s… got a bitch face.”

“it’s not normal to glare at people that simply interact with your coworker…” danielle mumbles. “i’m sorry to hear that.”

you wave your hand, giggling lightly. “it’s nothing, really. i mean, i just don’t want her to be so obsessed and stuck on me, i think us pretending to date should tame the fire.”

pretending. 

the word makes both you and danielle tense up.

–

you clock in again, greeting sarah. 

she smiles brightly at you, waving and you have to make a little gesture to remind her there’s a customer in line. sarah turns away bashfully, then takes the man’s order with a hint of attitude. you’re not very fond of that.

he orders an americano, so you immediately get to work, weighing out grinds of espresso, tamping it down, and pulling two shots. as you do so, sarah pulls up next to you and nudges your shoulder.

“hey,”

“hi.” you respond, not looking up from the cup in your hand. “did you need something?”

“that t-shirt looks good on you, have you been working out?”

you feel uneasy the moment she says it, swallowing a lump in your throat. you pour the two shots over the hot water and force a response, “thanks, and um, no.” before calling out the order.

sarah continues to watch you closely as you throw away the used espresso, then says, “your girlfriend didn’t drop you?”

“she’s working.”

“right. i’d find a way to drop off my girlfriend anytime that i could.”

“good for you?” you look her in the eye again, clenching your jaw. 

“you don’t post her much on your socials either, are you guys really a thing?”

fuck. 

you scoff, “what kind of question is that? of course… i just… don’t post much. we’re still kind of new to this.”

“right, she’s not even your lockscreen.”

“i’m going to grab some beans from the back,” you interrupt, redirecting the conversation away from the topic of your alleged girlfriend. sarah narrows her eyes at you as you turn away from her, stepping away and disappearing towards the storage area.

once you’re alone, you sigh and pinch the bridge of your nose, feeling the weight of the strange interrogation settle on you. there was an unmistakable hostility in sarah’s tone, a sharp edge that cut through the air. hanni’s right, she always is. the mere thought of enduring six more hours with sarah makes you want to crawl into a hole. her jealousy is palpable, and it eats away at you, gnawing at your nerves.

you pull out your phone and quickly dial danielle, pacing back and forth as you wait for her to pick up.

“hello?” she responds less than ten seconds later. “what’s up?”

“she’s catching on, kind of. i think she’s jealous.” 

“sarah?”

“yes.” you groan, then lean your back against the wall. “i can’t work like this.”

“i’ll come over? do you need me to?”

“no, but can we meet after? i think we need to be more public, if that’s okay.”

you hear her confusion through the phone. “what? public?”

“like, soft launch or something. i just need to make it obvious that i’m quote on quote dating someone – you. and we need a lockscreen together.”

a giggle is heard on the other end of the line, “oh wow.” danielle mumbles teasingly, “this is pretty serious.”

“i hope i die.”

“aw, don’t say that babe. just come over to the library after, okay? good luck on your shift! i have to clock in soon too.”

“can we meet at my place?”

“anything is fine, that’s alright.”

“i literally owe you my first born, dani.”

“it’s nothing, this is quite entertaining.” she says, and you smile with the phone at your ear. “call me later, okay? send me updates.” 

“right, yeah.” you almost whisper, “thank you.”

“it’s nothing, sweetheart.” her laugh is infused into the sentence, making your chest burn.

–

“this is so dumb.” 

you are so dumb. this isn’t helping your case.

hanni and minji are fighting back laughter while you try to naturally rest your hand on danielles knuckles. you’re stiff and it looks anything but natural. 

the angle you take the picture at makes it look awkward, and the picture’s quality sucks too. 

“just relax.” danielle says, then holds your hand instead. “here, let me take the picture.”

you’re trying to keep your cool while minji and hanni watch and danielle, the prettiest girl you know, holds your hand and scoots closer to you in order to ‘soft launch’ your fraud of a relationship. her hand is nice in yours, her skin is soft, and she’s so close you can smell the vanilla fragrance she uses. 

danielle snaps a quick picture, then the rest of the bunch – including you – scoot over to look at the picture.

“well would you look at that! it’s perfect.” danielle beams, grinning at her work. “post that one.”

“holy shit.” minji says in awe. “no yeah, you could fool me with that.”

“anyone could fool you, dumbass.” you snicker, looking up at her and smirking.

“i hate you.”

“oh, i guess you don’t want free food from my work…?” 

minji groans, making you laugh. 

danielle’s hand is still in yours, you don’t fully register it until you realize you need both hands to post a picture on your instagram story. she seems a bit disappointed when you let go, though you barely notice – and even if you did, you might just chalk it up to your imagination.

it's fun, no doubt about it. yet, you can’t help but wonder what it would be like to take pictures of you and danielle that aren’t staged or orchestrated. you long for authenticity, capturing moments that are mundane and candid.

the thought lingers in your mind the whole time, even as you pose with your back to the camera, pretending to cook alongside danielle. it's all set up and artificial, every movement planned out, yet danielle starts giggling and leaning into you – a spontaneous gesture not part of your last-minute brainstorming. 

her laughter is genuine, her touch warm, and it makes you wonder if maybe, just maybe, not everything is as fake as it seems.

–

you wake up from your nap and groan as your ringtone renders you awake. blindly, you slap your hand in every direction on the bed until you feel it under your other pillow. someone’s calling you, that’s all you can make out since there’s a red and green circle. 

tiredly, you mumble, “hello?”

“hi! are you busy?” it’s danielle’s voice responding, shaking you awake. 

“oh, um, no.” you say as you sit up slowly, rubbing your eyes and running a hand through your hair. “are you okay? did something happen?”

“i’m fine! i was just wondering if you were free. you sound tired, were you sleeping?”

“i just took a power nap that’s all. what was it that you need?”

“oh, sorry to wake you.”

“it’s fine, seriously.” 

“well,” she starts, “i was just wondering if you wanted to go out together?”

“oh, me?”

you hear her giggle through the phone and smile softly. “i mean, i am calling y/n, aren’t i?”

“yeah, you are.”

“and i’m asking you, my girlfriend, to hangout. it’s like a date!”

“we’re not actually dating danielle, you don’t have to pretend when we’re calling and alone.” you say quietly, pursing your lips.

it’s not that you hate it, danielle being all lovely and playing the role of your girlfriend too well. the thing is, it feels like you’re getting led on, and the way she is just gives you false hope to something real.

danielle feels a little ache in her heart when you respond like that, but she pushes it away for the time being.

“i don’t mind it, it’s fun!” she beams. “anyway, there’s free ice cream downtown for couples, do you want to grab some?”

“is there? yeah, i’m down. do you want to take the metro?” 

“that’s perfect, there’s probably so much traffic.”

“alright, i can scoop you and take us to the station in fifteen minutes, okay?”

“perfect.” she closes the conversation, and the call ends.

you flop down on the bed again, just for a moment. your eyes are fixated on the ceiling above as you breathe in, thinking about everything. 

you and danielle aren’t dating, not for real. it’s just a show, a sham. she simply wants to hang out for free ice cream, nothing more. you know this. you set yourself up for this whole fake dating thing—well, kind of, considering hanni was the culprit behind this whole arrangement.

it’s already been over a month, and danielle doesn’t seem fazed in the slightest, treating the whole thing as no big deal. you must be insane; you can’t keep doing this knowing your feelings are growing and she most definitely doesn’t feel anything real. it’s just to benefit you, and she’s a great friend who’s willing to help you out. yet, each time you pretend, it gets harder to separate your act from reality.

despite the turmoil, you’re up and finding a change of clothes in order to make danielle happy. because even if she’s not your girlfriend, she’s your friend and you love her regardless.

(sometimes the love you have claws you from the inside.)

–

danielle clings to your arm the whole way down to the city. sometimes she clings a little tighter than usual, then goes silent, and it makes you breathe deeply.

it takes a few wrong turns and teasing to get to the icecream place, there’s already a long line with actual couples. you feel out of place in a way; there’s partners holding the other by the waist from behind, setting their heads on top of the others. a few are just holding hands or lingering close and you can just sense all the love and adoration in the air. 

you swallow shallowly, tensing your jaw because danielle is close to you, but not because you two are something more than friends.

“wow, so many lovebirds.” she says in awe, gazing around.

“uh huh.” you feel her hand slide down your forearm, then her fingers intertwine with yours as she looks up at you. “hm?”

“to seal the deal.” she shrugs, smiling. “plus, your hands are big… and warm.”

“you have small hands.”

“perfect fit for yours.” she giggles playfully, making you do the same. “what flavors did you want? it’s two scoops for free.”

“you can pick both, i don’t mind.”

“what? c’mon, you should pick one.”

“no, you wanted ice cream. i’m just here to make you happy.” you admit, tightening your grip on her hand. 

she starts to respond, but stops for a few seconds. you watch her look away bashfully, staring at the ground and grinning to herself. she shakes her head, then says, “you’re so lovely…”

“pfttt, i just want you to be happy, seriously.”

“you know,” she begins, looking at you again. “whoever manages to become your girlfriend would be real lucky.”

“oh.” your lips twitch into less of a smile and you pause for a moment. “maybe.”

“this fake dating thing is making me realize that you’re such girlfriend material.”

a small laugh stifles the tension and awkwardness in you, “thanks? you are too.”

“am i?”

“yeah.” you stare into her eyes, shes everything you could wish for in a person. “very.”

before danielle can respond, the line moves, and it’s time for the two of you to decide on two flavors. it takes a while to do so, with you declining the offer to chime in and pick a flavor you want, danielle was the one to invite you out anyway. but she looks at you with puppy eyes, pouts, then puts a hand on the side of your bicep and it makes you cave in.

the final choices are salted caramel and coffee.

danielle holds the cup in one hand, drags you away from the area littered with lovey dovey couples – some being too lovey, considering they can’t seem to get away from each other – and leads you blindly towards a small alley in a neighborhood until a bench comes into view. she pulls you towards it eagerly, making you laugh until you’re both sitting next to each other.

you frown a little as you look at the ice cream in the cup. “some of it is melted.”

“not all of it!” danielle beams, then scroops a spoonful of the coffee side – the flavor you ended up choosing. “you have the first taste.” she says, bringing it closer to your mouth.

“wait, you should have it.”

“too late,” she starts to move it in a circular motion, saying, “ahhh~” as she does so.

you scoff, then lean forward and all of it is in your mouth in one bite. danielle watches your eyes light up.

“it’s good.” you mutter, then grab the other spoon to scoop the other flavor. you mirror what danielle did before, making her laugh just as much. “open wiiiiide~”

“ahhh~”

you snicker before moving the spoon into her mouth, she closes it and smiles immediately, melting in place despite the ice cream being pretty cold. 

the street lights make her look precious, highlighting the satisfaction on her face because of some simple ice cream she’d gotten for free. you want to see her this happy everyday and as much as you can. 

a small hint of ice cream is on the corner of her lips, it urges you to bring your hand over and wipe it off with your thumb. danielle stops savoring the dessert, instead, focusing on you. 

“sorry, there was… yeah.”

“mhm.” danielle says, staring at your lips. “it’s really good.”

“i can tell.” you turn away, feeling flustered when she looks at you like that. “let me try your flavor.”

the two of you continue to eat ice cream together, subconsciously scooting closer and closer as you share it. danielle’s head ends up on your shoulder when the cup is empty in your hand, silent in her place.

you don’t budge, mainly because she seems comfortable and you don’t mind ruining your posture a bit if it’s for her. she sighs contentedly, moving her hand over to hold yours in the midst of the moment, slotting together effortlessly. she doesn’t say anything, but you feel her lean into you a little more.

“you okay?”

“just happy.”

“ah,” you rub your thumb against her skin. “that’s good.”

“being with you makes me really happy.”

“being with you makes me happier.” you say softly, staring at your hands aligned seamlessly. “do you want to stay here for a bit longer?”

“please.”

“it’s getting late.”

“i know, just a bit longer.” danielle says.

just a bit longer. if only the whole arrangement could last forever, if only you two could be this close and warm for lightyears.

minutes pass, and neither of you move, lost in the comforting silence. the only shift comes when you turn your head to press a gentle kiss into her hair. danielle feels perfectly in place, her heart fluttering at the tender gesture. a soft smile spreads across her face, a silent acknowledgment of the moment's sweetness.

–

the night prior had to be a dream, it was too perfect. it was the realest you’ve felt with danielle, the closest to something romantic. it was even enough to consider that she felt the same, and you’d love to revel in that possibility, but you have to restock the beans and cups quickly before tending to the drinks.

there’s only thirty more minutes until your shift ends, it feels like eternity.

sarah catches you smiling to yourself throughout the shift, biting the inside of her lip. she’s filled with all too much: anger, jealously, dissapointment, and really just everything that makes her uneasy. 

she still can’t believe it, you had gone on a whole tangent telling her you couldn’t be in a relationship and now you’re being a complete loser in front of her. she hates it, she wants it to be her that makes you smile randomly throughout the day.

what pisses her off more, and truly makes her lose all hope, is when you go from looking tired and drained to bubbly and smiley as soon as a familiar figure starts walking toward the counter. 

she watches you check the time on the register, your smile widening because you can clock out and be with danielle, who’s waiting just across the counter. the change in your demeanor is undeniable, and it stings sarah to see the joy that danielle effortlessly brings out in you.

you walk over to danielle, reaching for her hand. “hey.”

“hi.” the way danielle says it makes your chest warm and sarah nearly gags in return.

what makes sarah's shoulders sink, her heart drop, and her frown deepen is when danielle suddenly kisses your cheek. 

the shock is evident on your face as you stand frozen, your hand instinctively moving to hover over the spot where danielle's lips had just been. the tenderness of the moment is overwhelming, and sarah can't help but feel a profound sense of loss. the realization that your heart belongs entirely to danielle crushes any lingering hopes she had, leaving her to face the painful truth.

“w-what was that for?” you look over and make eye contact with sarah, who’s grimacing. “there’s um, you know… bystanders.”

“i missed you, so much. i couldn’t stop thinking about you.” danielle says simply, not bothering that sarah is the only one who’s witnessing this, and from a few feet away too. “do you want to get dinner?”

“it’s three in the afternoon silly.”

“well, anything is fine. we should study before we eat! i heard the module mr. lee assigned us was really helpful for…” 

the rest of what danielle says doesn’t register in your coworker’s mind. she studies you closely, her frown deepening with each passing second. it’s painfully clear to her now—you’re genuinely in love with danielle, and there's nothing she can do to change that. the way you look at danielle, like a child seeing a rainbow for the first time, leaves no room for doubt. 

it dawns on her that giving up is the only option, and she feels a pang of resignation settling in her chest.

–

nearly three months have passed and both of you have still been ‘pretending.’

neither of you acknowledge that it’s fake, not during the weekly dates, study sessions, and late night walks or movie nights that end up in the two of you falling asleep together. danielle doesn’t think twice when kissing your cheek here and there, even your knuckles when she thinks you’re asleep. 

you figure that maybe it’s okay to kiss her cheek too sometimes because she’s her lips turn each time. and when you pick her up for weekly dates, she happily jumps into the passengers seat of your car as if it weren’t just a mutual agreement. sarah has already given up, considering she seems defeated, and you wonder if you should too. 

you can’t tell if it’s just how danielle is, which eats you inside. everything feels all too real, and your feelings only grow more unbearable.

–

you shouldn’t have let jimin drag you out to minjeong’s party. she’s already left the moment you stepped into the house, she’s probably gotten a hold of a drink already.

jimin had noticed how deeply stressed you've been lately. your responses were slower, your shoulders seemed permanently slumped, and the stress was practically etched into your face. being one of your closest friends, jimin decided that it was time for a change. she was determined to get you out and help you relax, knowing how crucial it was for your well-being (and social life, to be completely real).

walking around, you scan the crowd for a familiar face. unfortunately, the only people you recognize are sunghoon and jake, who have a history of hitting on you despite your clear disinterest. they still haven't grasped that you're a lesbian. you quickly decide to steer clear of them.

the only reason you’re here is because you’ve been throwing yourself into your studies, staying late at the gym, and doing too much to avoid danielle – or even the thought of her.

(which is unfortunately impossible since every little thing reminds you of her.

the flowers on the counter at your work remind you of her smile, the couch in your apartment is where you two have spent hours together, and really, you’re hopeless.)

you find jimin outside on the porch with her other friends that you’ve only talked to once or twice. they’re all talking about something, clearly tipsy, and you’re walking over to linger near your friend.

“y/n! oh my gosh girl, where have you been? come here, have a drink!” jimin grabs your arm, pulling you in and hugging you like she hasn’t seen you in forever. “here, take a shot.”

she hands you a shot of what you assume is some cheap vodka, you didn’t even have time to pregame for this. you’re not against drinking, not at all, if anything you’re all for it. there’s videos of you in groupchats shotgunning beer and finishing with barely any reaction – but tonight, you don’t know if you’re in the mood for it.

one won’t hurt, maybe it’ll erase danielle from your mind for a moment.

“fine.” you grab the small glass, then bring it to your lips and cock your head back, eyes pinching for a brief moment as you swallow. “shit,” you mumble, “give me another.”

you don’t know what has taken over, because you’re downing two more without hesitation. jimin laughs and smiles proudly at you.

for a brief moment, everything feels fine. the music blasting from inside the house, a mix of charli xcx and the chatter of your friends mocking one of your professors and jake, makes you laugh out loud. amidst the chaos, you find a beer in your hand, and somehow, you manage to tolerate the taste. wonyoung appears too, and hands you another after you quickly finish the first. you accept it, even though you're already starting to feel a bit fuzzy.

jimin looks at minjeong with a sparkle in her eyes, and you subtly push her a little closer until their shoulders touch. they exchange smiles, and you watch, feeling proud of your matchmaking. 

your heart sinks as it suddenly reminds you all too much of danielle. the fondness and spark between jimin and minjeong make you frown, your grip on the beer tightening as the bittersweet memories flood back.

“fuck,” you practically whisper. “i need to, i’m going to get more um, drinks.” 

“hm? okay.” jimin says quickly, then turns back to the girl she’s linking arms with.

your head pounds, so you gulp down the can of beer in your hand, then crumple it and toss it toward a trash bin in your line of sight. 

as you make your way to the kitchen, you spot a bottle of vodka and pour yourself a shot into a plastic cup you found. the liquid burns your throat, intensifying the ache in your head. despite this, you pour another shot, perhaps a bit too generously, hoping to numb the growing pain and the emotions clawing at your heart.

the room feels like it’s spinning, you’re walking down some hall and blinking and blinking until you reach a bathroom. thankfully, no one is making out in it, but you check the shower for safety measures. 

you’re finally alone, groaning as you fall against the wall of the bathroom and slide down until you’re sitting on the bathroom floor.

clumsily, you grab your phone from your back pocket. the screen lights up to a picture of you and danielle, cheeks squished together and smiling. 

you stare at it for too long, your breath hitching and your vision blurring as the ache in your head intensifies. the happy memory contrasts sharply with the heaviness you feel now, making it all the more difficult to look away. she just looks so cute in it.

you tap your screen again, and another picture of her appears. it’s a picture of her asleep in the passengers seat, head tilted uncomfortably and lips parted slightly. you had set up your lock screen to cycle through images of danielle, initially to fool sarah, but also because seeing danielle’s face as soon as you pick up your phone makes you feel at ease. each photo captures her different expressions—laughing, pouting, lost in thought—and they all make you grin. 

the happiness you feel is bittersweet, knowing it’s all part of an arrangement that feels increasingly real to you.

your vision is a little unclear, but somehow it sharpens just so you can see her perfectly.

“fuck,” you gasp out, unlocking your phone and trying to navigate to your recent calls. you had called hanni earlier and she had just been lounging at her place. you figure that she’d be able to take you away from here.

you squint, pressing on the contact that has a and n, assuming it’s hanni, then wait as the phone rings.

“hello?”

“hanni, i’m… can you pick me up?”

“y/n?” her voice is muffled when it reaches your ears, “are you okay? what happened, where are you?”

“jimin… dragged me out. i drank… soooo much.”

“y/n, oh my gosh.”

“hanni, stay on the line, please.”

“i’m not–” the voice cuts off, you drop your phone on the carpet. “hello?”

“you have my location… right.” you slur, head leaning against the wall even more. “hanni i can’t do it anymore.”

“y/n, i’m on my way. are you alright?”

“hanni, i can’t.” you groan, staring up into space. “i don’t want to fake date danielle anymore. it feels too real, i hate it.”

silence follows before you hear the voice on the other end of the phone.

“you can’t? why, why didn’t you tell her?”

“she seems happy, and… we just, don’t acknowledge that it’s not real.”

“y/n…” 

danielle sits in her car, heart sinking. 

you dialed her on accident, and it doesn't seem like you know it’s her. 

“please come. please.”

danielle gulps, feeling tears forming in her eyes. 

–

danielle scavenges through the house your location on her phone has brought you to, looking around for you helplessly. 

she makes her way to the porch and spots jimin, who’s hands are on minjeongs neck as she holds her in place. danielle walks over, not wanting to disturb the intimacy, but you’re her biggest priority, so she’s willing to do so.

“jimin,”

she turns around, looking at danielle confusingly. “oh, when did you get here?”

“where’s y/n?”

“hmmm… she went to get drinks a while ago, she hasn’t come back yet. try the kitchen?”

“okay, thank you.” danielle says hurriedly, then rushes back inside.

she checks the kitchen, only to see jake and sunghoon with beers in their hands as they cackle loudly. you’re nowhere in sight, making her bite her lip in frustration.

danielle goes through every room on the first floor until she reaches a bathroom. she pushes the door open, and it suddenly stops, hitting someone. a groan escapes from behind the door.

"i'm so sorry!" danielle rushes out, peeking around the door to see who she’s just collided with. "y/n?" she gasps, eyes widening in recognition and concern.

you’re sitting against the wall, hair tousled and cheeks red. there’s a white tank top hugging you, the thin straps of it loose against your skin from your posture. 

“hanni?” you look up, squinting. “i wanna go home.” 

you see the figure move closer to you and close the door, then she squats down and you realize it’s not hanni. danielle comes into view, her eyebrows creased with concern. your cheeks flush even harder, and your lips part.

she puts a hand on your forehead, then cups her cheeks with both. “are you okay?”

“you’re not… hanni.”

danielle’s shoulders fall down a bit. “hanni um,” danielle hates lying, but she’s doing it now to save you from spiraling. “she sent me over.”

“oh.” the response from you cracks her heart slightly. “okay.”

"let's go," she says firmly, helping you up. despite being taller and more muscular than her, you lean on her for support. danielle manages to steady you with surprising ease, guiding you out of the bathroom and through the house, her grip strong and unwavering.

–

you collapse onto danielle’s couch and groan, your body is limp against the cushions.

a few moments later, she comes back with a cup of water, placing it on the coffee table before she sits you up. she tilts your chin up and you look at her with wonder as she grabs the cup and holds it to your lips, “drink.”

“mhm.” you mumble, sipping slowly and swallowing. 

your vision clears slightly, though it might just be danielle who’s grounding you. her concerned eyes meet yours, and while guilt tugs at you, you're also captivated by her beauty in this moment. you're drunk and out of your mind, thoughts muddled and unfocused.

“pretty.” you sigh dreamily. 

“y/n,” her voice is laced with uneasiness. “drink more water.”

“okay.”

“and stay the night, okay? you um, left…” she swallows hard, fighting back a frown. “you left your clothes here, i’ll go grab them.”

“can you stay with me though? will you? i really… just… i want you here.” 

danielle bites the inside of her lip, her eyes wide with confusion. just moments ago, you had admitted that you wanted to stop the whole ‘relationship’—that it had become too intense, too overwhelming. and now, you’re asking her to stay? her mind spins with the jarring shift in emotions.

you lean in, clinging onto her. danielle feels the warmth of your breath and the softness of your nose brushing against her neck. the touch sends a shiver through her, and she swallows hard, struggling to steady her breathing. as you pull back, your faces are mere inches apart. you lock eyes with her, your gaze heavy with so much. 

there’s a lump in her throat. “okay.”

–

danielle wakes up with you on top of her and your head in the crook of her neck. she hears you breathing softly and subconsciously, her hand slides into your hair.

why are you so confusing? danielle wonders, twirling your hair with her pointer finger. is this what you really want?

you’re incredibly considerate, a trait that’s always shone brightly. the way you go out of your way for her—planning dates, cherishing every moment together, simply because it makes her happy—fills her with a bittersweet feeling. she adores these shared moments, savoring the illusion of authenticity. but now that it’s clear that all of it strains you, it weighs heavily on her heart.

you stir awake, your breath warm and rhythmic against danielle's skin. as you hum softly, her cheeks flush a delicate pink. she feels the gentle pressure of your arms tightening around her, pulling her closer. you shift, nestling deeper into her, finding a more comfortable position. each movement sends a shiver through danielle, leaving her heart fluttering like crazy at eight in the morning.

she doesn’t know what to do.

–

danielle doesn’t ask you out or come over the whole week, excusing herself by saying she’s busy or caught up with things. of course, you don’t comment on it – she’s not really your girlfriend, you shouldn’t expect her time and affection. 

but then another week passes by and you don’t get any texts back, sometimes she even leaves you on delivered for hours. that’s not like her at all. 

you catch her in class and she’s still the same danielle you know – bubbly, pretty, and sweet – but that’s really the only time you see her these days. 

it’s confusing, all too confusing, so you barge into hanni’s apartment on a thursday evening because she’s the only one you can rant to about this.

“you didn’t even text me–”

“oh my god i think danielle fucking hates me.”

hanni lets you storm in, walking towards her room and flop onto her own bed. you look devasted, especially when you rub your face in your hands and groan loudly.

“okay, first of all: why the hell would she? second of all: yeah, why… why would she…?”

“she’s been avoiding me and i have no fucking clue why.”

“dude what.” 

you recount the entire story to hanni, animatedly illustrating every detail with exaggerated hand gestures. “so, jimin practically dragged me out to unwind, and i ended up drunk out of my mind!” you say. your hands wave dramatically, punctuating the story as you describe stumbling around, the room spinning, and how the whole ordeal felt like a whirlwind. 

hanni watches, her amusement growing as you explain the night’s events. “jesus.”

“yeah, and then danielle came and picked me up.”

“she did?”

“yeah… you called her over… didn’t you?”

“dude, what are you talking about.”

you pause, looking at her with confusion evident all over your face. then grab your phone, heart feeling strained when you see danielle posing with a stuffed animal that one time – out of many –  you two went to the mall together. you click on the phone app, looking at your recent calls and scrolling down to roughly two weeks ago.

you see hanni’s contact name, and then danielles after.

“hanni, did i… did i call you that night? two weeks ago, the friday night i went out.”

“dude you only called me that morning or something, you left something here.”

“oh my fucking god.” you gasp, putting a hand over your mouth. “oh my god.”

“y/n what.”

“i drunk dialed dani and i thought it was you. she told me you sent her to grab me…”

“what did you say to her?” hanni asks, looking at you with slight worry.

you groan, rubbing your face again. “i… i said i didn’t want to fake date her anymore.”

“oh, well that’s not too bad.”

“no, i remember it somehow. i said i hated it.”

your best friend looks at you, confused again. “you do?”

“yeah, but like, no?” you groan once more and fall onto the bed again. “hanni, i’ve… i’ve liked danielle since first semester.”

“oh.”

“yeah, oh.”

“you’ve been fake dating and simultaneously in love with her?”

you sigh. “yes.”

“holy shit.”

“yeah. i think she took it the wrong way, maybe she thinks i hate her?”

“you need to talk to her.”

“she doesn’t want to see me.”

“no, she’s so fond of you. i honestly think she likes you back.”

“okay it’s not the time for that–”

“shut the hell up bro.” hanni pinches your cheek and you slap her hand away. she begins again, “dude, she rambles about you and shit. there were times i actually thought you guys were really dating.”

“i wish.”

“then make it come true!” hanni groans. she pulls you up, then puts both hands on your shoulder. “you need to go talk to her, stop being a pussy.” 

“it’s not that–” 

your phone vibrates in your hand, snapping you out of your animated retelling. instinctively, you glance down and see a notification from danielle. hanni notices the shift in your expression, quirking an eyebrow as you stare at the screen, looking visibly distressed. she leans closer, peeking at the notification.

as your face unlocks the phone, the text is revealed: "can you come over? we should talk." your mouth drops open slightly in shock, and hanni mirrors your expression. the room suddenly feels heavy.

“dude.” hanni points at the screen – the obvious. “she–”

“fuck me.” you mutter, “fuck me.”

“dumbass,” hanni says, pushing you off her bed. you curse and look at her with “what the fuck?” written all over your face. hanni stands up and continues to push you out her room, saying, “go see your ‘girlfriend,’ even if it’s not real you better go talk to mo dani.”

you sigh, pushing her off you and grabbing your things before you walk towards hanni’s apartment door. you stare at the handle, then the text, and linger for a moment. hanni puts a hand on your shoulder and you look at her.

“i’m fucking terrified.”

“well you’ll feel even worse if you don’t go, so go.” hanni urges, opening the door and nudging you out.

–

the air is cold, it’s really just cold outside and it makes you shiver more than you already are just from the thought of the interaction.

you’re outside danielle’s work, sitting on the steps because you can’t bring yourself to go in and approach her directly. maybe it makes you a coward, but you’ve always been nervous about seeing her willingly and making the first move. the minutes stretch on, each one making you more anxious, but you can't help it. the thought of facing her, of initiating that crucial conversation, ties your stomach in knots. she called you out here anyway.

wind hits your cheeks and you bite your lip, walking around in your place in an attempt to warm up. then, you catch someone in the corner of your eye, so you turn around and meet danielle.

a loose sweater drapes over her frame, and wide-fit linen pants hide the shape of her legs. the wind tousles her hair just as it does yours, but she looks effortlessly angelic, stopping your heart for a moment. her hair, caught in the breeze, frames her face in a way that makes her seem almost ethereal, temporarily making you forget your worries.

then she’s walking toward you, and you remember why you’re here.

you swallow hard, body tensing. 

“thank’s for coming, i’m sorry i haven’t been.. um, able to spend time with you.” she looks nervous, her eyes avoiding yours and hands fiddling with each other. she stares at your necklace instead as she continues, “i’ve just… i wanted to talk to you about what we have.”

“right, i wanted to talk to you about it too.”

“oh,” danielle says quietly. “i’m sorry, i didn’t want to be a burden. you called me instead of hanni the night you got drunk and i know how you feel about fake dating. i’m sorry that you had to do it with me and it caused you so much stress i just–”

your heart aches as you listen to her ramble, guilt evident in her voice for something that’s not her fault. you can't bear to hear her blame herself. your brows furrow with pity as you gently cut her off, “danielle, no, let me–”

“stop, i want to make myself clear. i want to explain a lot of things to you, you’re so lovely and sweet and you don’t deserve to be so stressed. it’s just, okay, wait.”

she pauses, breathing in, and looking at you with tears lining her eyes. your breath shakes looking at her like that, you can’t breathe or speak in the moment.

danielle purses her lips before continuing, “okay, when hanni first said you wanted to date me, i got so excited because well, i always thought you were cute.” she turns her head to the side and bites her lip before looking back at you. “and then you said it wasn’t an actual date, you wanted it to be fake. i don’t know i just, i felt really sad when it happened but at the same time the thought of fake dating you didn’t seem too bad because i’m selfish and i mean, i liked you a little and i thought i could just fake it and revel in the artificial aspect until i got over it but i ended up falling for you so much and i’m sorry. i don’t want you to think im anything like sarah–”

“danielle, stop.”

“no, y/n i just want to explain myself–”

“danielle, shut up, oh my god.” you gasp, looking at her in disbelief. “you, are you fucking with me?”

she looks at you, still feeling guilty. when she blinks, two tears fall down her cheeks and she inhales sharply as she conceals a sob. she turns away, then murmurs, “no, i’m so sorry.”

“n-no, no. dani, danielle.” you almost breathe it out, then bring both hands to hold her face. your hands cup her cheeks making her face you. “please stop crying, i’m sorry, baby, i’m sorry.”

“b-baby?” she says, confusion taking over her features. you had gotten so used to calling her endearing pet names that it slipped out so suddenly in the heat of the moment.

the lights outside shine just enough for you to see her clearly. her eyes are watery, tears staining her cheeks, and you use your thumb to gently wipe them away. her nose is a little pink, and so are her cheeks. of course, she’s a pretty crier too, but you look at her with guilt, shaking your head as you continue to stroke her cheeks with your thumb. the sight of her like this breaks your heart even more.

“i only said i hated it because it was all too real, but not in a bad way. not at all.” 

“really?” she says between sniffles. “w-what do you mean?”

“i’m saying that,” you use your thumb to rub a tear threatening to fall from the corner of her eye. “i hated it because i couldn’t take the fact that it wasn’t real. i wanted it to be real. danielle, i’ve wanted to be yours since you first gave me the notes from the first lecture we had together.”

“what?”

“danielle,” you almost whisper, then kiss her forehead. “i like you so much. i don’t hate you, or this – i hate that it’s not real.”

her mouth opens in shock as she looks at you, sniffling. you anxiously wait for a response, hoping she'll say something, but she doesn’t. instead, she hugs you, wrapping her arms around you tightly. you return the embrace, holding her just as tight. the world around you fades away, leaving only the two of you in the nerveracking moment.

“i like you too – a lot. i was so scared when you said you hated it, i thought i was making you uncomfortable and gosh i just felt so bad and–”

you rub her back with your hand and cut her off, “i was anything but uncomfortable, i felt like i was living in a fantasy.”

“thank god.” danielle sighs in relief. 

you pull away, looking at her again and wiping remnants of tears with your thumb again. “i’m sorry for making you cry.”

if you could go back and punch yourself for being stupid — you’d do it in a heartbeat. a dumb slip up and miscommunication from your lips is the reason danielle’s nose is still tinted pink from crying, you feel guilty as ever.

in your hands, it feels like you hold the world. she shakes her head in your hold, then smiles from relief.

“it’s okay.”

“are you busy after this?”

danielle giggles, shaking her head again. “if you’re asking me out on a date – a real one – then absolutely not.”

“dinner? it’s on me for being stupid that night, and this whole time.”

“perfect.”

you smile sweetly at her, your gaze lingering on her lips. before you know it, you lean in and boldly peck her right then and there. she gasps when you pull away, looking at you with widened eyes as you back off. but then, she reels you in again, leaning closer and kissing you once more. the kiss is soft and warm, filled with all the unspoken words and emotions that have built up between you. you feel her smile against your lips, and everything else fades away.

when you part again, you look at her fondly and ask, “wait, this is real, right? like, we’re…”

danielle laughs, hastily pecking you once more and lingering close.

“i don’t think it’s the alcohol that made you so dense and stupid.”

[iscdisc]

Anyone who's familiar with my content on Insta / TikTok most likely already knows about this theory (But I guess you could consider it an AU of sorts??) that I have with 2012 Donatello post, "The Power Inside Her" (And yes, the only reason why I drew this / am talking about this is because of my previous post about Za-Naron, okay- Lmao) ! But because I haven't brought this to Tumblr, I'm talking about it again- 👍✨

Before I get into it, I want to preface this whole thing by saying that I fully acknowledge that this all could just be writing issues / faults with the writers and their lack of properly explaining anything or giving prior context to certain relationships / dynamics. I just want to get that out of the way immediately, since I understand some people brushing these things off as one of 2012's many notorious writing issues-

BUT.

I wholeheartedly believe that it's entirely possible that the Donatello we follow after the events of, "The Power Inside Her" is not actually the real Donatello at all and the real Donatello that we have been following before this episode legitimately perished. And let me explain why I say this- 👀

First of all, I want to establish some foundation for this possibility by pointing us in the direction of the episode, "Bat in the Belfry". During this episode, Mikey (Alongside Casey-) end up giving Wingnut and Screwloose temporary sentient life (With this only being temporary given the events of the episode-). Wingnut and Screwloose are previously established in this episode to be comic book characters / fictional characters, they were never real to begin with. Yet despite the fact that they have no prior existence physically or in any capacity of reality, the Aeon's power (Za-Naron's power-) was able to fully give them life and an established sense of self. We see throughout the episode that Wingnut and Screwloose fully believe that they're alive and well, not understanding when Mikey and Casey constantly try to inform them that they are just comic book characters and aren't actually real the way that they perceive themselves to be real. We also see the Aeon crystal / Za-Naron give sentient life to one of the villains from the same comic (Which is why I included a picture of that as well-), and we too can see that this villain acknowledges its existence, since it carries out it's normal activities as if nothing is strange about its situation at all.

I'm laying this as the foundation for this theory, because my main point with bringing this up is that the "fake" (you could say) Donatello would have no reason to question his existence or believe that he is not who he is. You know what I mean?

Another reason why I believe "fake" Donnie wouldn't question his existence is because the Aeon Crystal doesn't exist anymore by the time he comes into the picture "once again", which is another point that I'm going to get into right now.

The only reason why Wingnut and Screwloose became aware of their predicament / fully accepted the fact that they weren't real is because they were exposed to the crystal and its seemingly overwhelming energy. As you can see in the picture I provided, they became very distorted and deranged after being exposed to this. But with this "fake" Donatello, there's nothing Aeon related for him to be exposed to.

During the last minutes of, "The Power Inside Her", we see April use what was left of the crystal (Since she had broken it prior as a means of freeing Za-Naron / freeing herself from Za-Naron's control-) to bring Donnie back into existence. But that's exactly why I have this theory?? Not only is bringing somebody back to life an almost impossible feat, even for April (Which I know the show says that Donnie was simply molecularly scattered and not actually GONE gone, but I don't buy that for a second / I feel like they only said that to make the situation a little more "kid friendly". in my opinion, that dude perished, okay. LMAO), but I don't even think that the Aeons abilities are even capable of something like that. Returning life or performing resurrection is such a complicated issue, and I feel like the Aeons themselves would acknowledge that it's not as simple as just "bringing somebody back".

So because I don't think this is something that falls under the scope of what Aeons are genuinely capable of doing, on top of the fact that we've seen the crystal give sentient life to things that technically did not exist before this episode, I fully believe that the Donnie that we see get "brought back to life" by April is not actually him- Instead, this is a physical manifestation of how April remembers him being or essentially a Donnie that was "created" from her memories of him / experiences with him.

Point number three as to why I think this is not the real Donnie and instead a "fake" Donnie. April's relationship with Donatello drastically changes after this episode (At least, in my opinion-). Going back to when she "brought Donnie back to life", I wouldn't be surprised if she was envisioning all of the more positive interactions that she's had with him in the past and a lot of the attributes that she enjoyed from him, rather than the negative ones (i.e. Him disrespecting her boundaries a lot, him disrespecting her autonomy as a person, him stalking her, him constantly getting in between her and other people /primarily Casey but I digress- /, him feeling entitled to her as a person, him giving her pet names that made her uncomfortable and she clearly expressed that / Which this is kind of a niche example, but during one of the Xbox / PS3 videogame titles for this series, there's a dialogue cutscene where Donnie calls her his, "Chinchilla" for the first time I think?? But April very clearly expressed discomfort with that and asked him not to say that about her. Which it really pisses me off that he does it again in Season 3 when she's UNCONSCIOUS, and this game came out either during Season 1 or when Season 2 was airing- Like it's an old game. 💀 /, etc.), especially given that what caused her to break free from Za-Naron's control was Raph telling April to remember Donnie. During that montage, there were a lot of happier moments with Donatello.

I don't think it would be far-fetched to say that she essentially created her "perfect" or ideal version of him as a person-?? And I feel like this is heavily reflected through their dynamic post this episode.

April's not off-putted by some of his kind / caring gestures (Like the image example I provided above, such as him putting his hand on her back-).

During moments of intense grieving and stress, Donatello is giving her space and not hovering around her like he was more prone to doing in the past (In my opinion-).

Instead of it feeling incredibly forced by the writers, April being in close proximity to Donnie feels like a choice she's actively making or okay with. Prior to this, (to me) it felt like the writers would just put April in the same space as Donnie simply because they were pushing this romantic narrative between them. The numerous times that Donnie would have April in his lab during Seasons 1-2 gave off a vibe like he either pressured her to be there or it just felt difficult for her to decline-? Especially since there was a lot going on with her Father during both of these Seasons, and instead of that feeling like a reason she would want to be there on her own, it felt like an excuse to force her to be there- Does that make sense? Not to mention Donnie always being by her side coming across like he was crowding April instead of her actively wanting him there.

Donnie is more actively giving April her space at the same time too / not reacting when Casey is in closer proximity to her than himself. I'm not saying that this technically didn't occur before the aftermath of, "The Power Inside Her", but it just feels different now- I don't know how else to explain that.

I'm telling you right now, this moment from, "When World's Collide (Part 1)" is the first time I've seen them on screen acting this way. There has never been a moment like this one before, where April is joking around and laughing with Donnie and just being overall silly?? 2012 has never done something like this with these two on screen.

All of these instances lead me to believe that April (unintentionally) created her most ideal version of Donatello as a person. Taking away all the things that she didn't like or (rightfully) felt uncomfortable by, and only leaving the characteristics that she did enjoy about him. Which would obviously result in her having a much healthier / drastically improved dynamic with him moving forward.

There's also was only one moment that I feel Donnie was "weird" towards April again like he was in the past, but it didn't last long at all and it only happened once during Season 5 ("The Curse of Savanti Romero"-).

Another thing that I feel supports this theory is his relationship with Casey. From Season 3 to 4, it really felt like Donnie and Casey were forming a much better dynamic / their friendship had a steady progression. Sure, Donnie would still get annoyed with Casey from time to time, but it felt obvious that he viewed Casey as more of a friend / ally than a rival / "threat". Casey would also actively go out of his way to be around Donnie physically more, which I feel was a good sign of their friendship moving in a more positive direction. But then we get to "Tokka vs. The World", which takes place almost immediately after the events of, "The Power Inside Her" and it suddenly feels like Donnie's friendship progression with Casey just vanishes-?? Their dynamic feels like they're back in Season 2 again, minus the constant arguing about April (At least, from Donnie's perspective-).

A lot of the moments that we get with them during Season 5 kind of reinforce this for me. Donnie's reaction to Casey suggesting they get their hands on a couple of tanks during, "Scroll of the Demodragon", Donnie and Casey essentially arguing about how to deal with Kavaxas during, "The Forgotten Swordsman", Donnie's response to Casey in regards to his ghostbuster rip off inventions and how Donnie went out of his way to say everyone will get one except Casey during, "End Times"- Like, it really does feel as if their relationship regressed after the events of, "The Power Inside Her"- And while that does upset me, since as you all probably know by now I love those two to death, it does make complete sense in relation to this theory of this Donatello being "fake".

All of the progress and dynamic / friendship development Donnie and Casey went through? April was not privy to that. Like, at all. If my theory holds up and April did (unintentionally) "create" or manifest a version of Donatello from her memories of him using the remaining power of the Aeon crystal, then it would absolutely make sense why Donnie is treating Casey the way that he is during Season 5. I'm not saying that April didn't notice or acknowledge that they had a better relationship before the events of, "The Power Inside Her" happened, but she didn't know where that better relationship came from. So if April doesn't know, then obviously the Donnie that she (unintentionally) "created" wouldn't know either- Therefore, there wouldn't be a reason for him to have a better relationship with Casey / there would be no reason why he wouldn't continue viewing him in a similar way to how he did during Season 2. AKA, when he first met him / when Casey first came into their lives.

There are other parts of this theory that are definitely more speculative on my part, such as Donnie not having any memories of events that April wasn't there for- So for example, if the brothers are reminiscing about the Mousers predicament from Season 1, the "fake" Donnie would be confused and not know what they're talking about because April wasn't aware of that situation / probably only heard it through word of mouth if anything- Clearly nothing like this happened in late Season 4 to early Season 5 to support that kind of thing, but there also isn't any evidence to disprove it either. I just think it would be interesting for that to be one of the biggest tells as far as everyone else having their doubts about whether or not the Donatello they see before them is actually the legitimate one-!

This theory also makes me really sad as far as Casey and Donnie goes, because it really does feel like Donnie had to sacrifice one developing friendship for another. Like sure, his dynamic with Casey is all fucked up. but at least he has a better one with April now- 💀 Lmao || There could totally be some holes in this theory, I'm not going to deny that ! But so far, I think it kind of holds up and I just thought I'd share that today- 👍✨ Lmao

(There were so many more screenshot examples that I wanted to give, but I didn't know you can only include 10 pictures in a post- 😭)

Edit: I don't know why it took me so long to notice this, and I feel so bad because I do have a habit of mixing up the placement of certain episodes sometimes-! 😭

I just realized that my points with the episodes of, "The Super Shredder" and, "Darkest Plight" in regards to April and Donnie's relationship having a drastic shift are a little invalid, since I always forget that those episodes took place before, "The Power Inside Her"- I don't know how I forget something like that, but I did, clearly,, 💀 / However, I feel like you can glean some significant differences in how those two interact during, "Requiem" and "Owari" (Which I mentioned in my reblog post for this theory alongside screenshots-) and basically Season 5 as a whole ! So my point still holds up there at least-! I don't know if you could find anything significant with April and Donnie from the episode, "Tale of TigerClaw" personally, but maybe that one can count too? 👍 Lmao

[meganwritesfanfics]

How to Save a Life (Dr Jack Abbott x Reader) Part 3

Part 1 Part 2 Part 4 Part 5

Companion Piece: You Are My Sunshine

Word Count: 1790

TRIGGER WARNING: Violence against women, gun violence, suicide.

It was a normal shift, or as normal as any shift in the Pitt could be. After a heartbreaking case, Y/N heads outside to clear her head and talk to her husband Dr. Jack Abbott. But suddenly a normal shift takes a deadly turn when Y/N is taken hostage by a disgruntled patient

“Do you both think I’m an absolute idiot?” Driscoll sneered. “I know you two are either married or related. And by the way he keeps looking at you, I’m going to say married. It was a nice touch with the fake name. But you forget. I have been here for fucking hours! I was getting checked in when you came out into the lobby and people called you Doctor Abbott. I just wanted to see how you both thought this was going to play out.” He sneered and Jack’s jaw clenched. 

“We are helping you, you are getting the help you think you are so entitled too, now can you let her go. She needs medical attention.” 

“Well she can wait, just like I fucking had to.” 

Jack was seething when suddenly there was a knock on the door. He turned to see Dana standing standing there with a piece of paper held up to the window. 

“I have Mr. Driscoll's test results.” She said. “He’s clear to go. Looks like it was nothing but some severe heartburn.” 

“Is that true?” Driscoll asked. “Mr big shot senior attending read those results, and tell me she’s not lying.”  

Jack carefully opened the door grabbing the piece of paper from Dana, and he watched as she looked at Y/N, her eyes full of concern. 

“Yep looks like it’s correct. Just a case of some severe heartburn, which can be treated by over the counter medication or tums.” Jack snapped. 

“You are telling me I have been here for hours just to find out it’s fucking heartburn.” Driscoll screamed as squeezed Y/N neck tighter causing her to whimper. 

“Would you rather you had a heart attack and died.”

Driscoll sighed. “Well take these stupid fucking things off me. I want to get the fuck out of this hell hole.” He shoved Y/N and she slowly started to peel the nodes off. 

“Was this all worth it,” Jack said helping Y/N. “Taking someone hostage just to find out you have fucking heartburn.” 

“Jack, stop.” Y/N snapped. 

“Yeah listen to your fucking wife Jack, it’s not smart to antagonize the man holding a gun to your pretty wifes head.” 

“Mr Driscoll, you are free to go.” Y/N said. 

“You see, you are a lot more level headed than your husband. A lot more agreeable.” 

“Don’t think that I am not seething inside you piece of shit.” She spat as he stood up and wrapped his arm around her chest again roughly. 

“Oh you are feisty. I like that.” He whispered in her ear causing her to flinch a look of disgust on her face. 

“You got what you wanted now let her go.” Jack snapped. 

“No, not yet. Not until I am out of here with no issues. She’s my insurance.” Driscoll said yanking her out of the room with her with him, Jack following behind. 

“Mr Driscoll, this has gone on long enough.” Robby snapped his eyes locked on Y/N’s injury. “Dr. Abbott is injuried, and I must insist that you hand her over.” 

“You are in no position of authority to tell me what to do. She is coming with me to make sure that I am not going to be bothered by anyone else.” 

Jack shook his head, as his breathing started to get more shallow as the panic and anxiety was becoming overwelming. His gut was telling him this wasn’t going to end well. And he knew, if he didn’t come up with a plan and come up with one soon, he was going to lose Y/N. 

It felt like time stopped as Jack’s thoughts went back to their wedding. 

He could feel his hands starting to shake as he stood at the make shift alter. Their wedding was being held at a botanical garden. He was standing under a gazebo that was surrounded by tulips. It was a small wedding. The only people there was Dana and Robby. And their dog Cooper of course. 

“How you holding up?” Robby whispered as he stood next to him. Jack was wearing his military uniform and Robby was standing next to him wearing a classic black tuxedos with a red tulip boutonnier. 

“I’m trying to convince myself I’m not going to cry when I see her.” Jack said straightening his tie. 

“God you are so whipped.” Robby teased. 

“She’s my whole world Micheal. I’m so excited that I get to spend the rest of my life with her.”  

Suddenly the sound of the the acoustic version of Shelter by The Talbott Brothers started playing, and Jack felt his stomach tighten with anticipation as he turned to see Y/N come down the aisle. His heart felt like it was going to explode when he saw her. She was wearing an off the shoulder dress with lace flower details and a flowing skirt. She wanted something that had a very boho vibe to it and her hair was down and curled lightly. Jack’s favorite way she ever wore her hair. Around her neck, she wore Jack’s dogtags along with the infinity knot necklace he bought her for their one year anniversary of them dating. On her finger she wore her moss agate engagement ring. 

Jack cleared his throat fighting back tears as he watched Dana walk arm and arm with Y/N. 

“Hi baby.” She smiled as she she reached him her hand quickly finding it’s rightful place within his. 

“Hi,” He said his voice cracking. 

“Oh Jack, you said you weren’t going to cry, you are going to make me cry.” Y/N laughed reaching out and wiping away the tear that fell down his cheek. 

“You look so beautiful.” He smiled. 

“Thank you,” She beamed. 

The ceremony was short and sweet but he couldn’t ask for a more perfect day. 

“You may now kiss the bride.” The officiant said and Jack didn’t wait a moment to pull his new bride into his arms and pull her into a long kiss. 

“I love you Y/N.” He whispered. 

“I love you too Jack, so much.” 

They had decided to keep their ceremony small, but the reception was where the party was going to be. That was where the entire staff of the Pitt were waiting for them and where the alcohol and fun would really be flowing. 

Jack and Y/N had also decided that they wanted to be less traditional when it came to their first dance. Instead they waited until the end of the evening when the celebration was wrapping up. 

“How are you doing this fine evening Dr. Abbott?” Y/N smiled as they danced together to their song Wondeful Tonight by Eric Clapton.

“I am beyond happy, what are about you Dr. Abbott?” Jack loved the sound of calling Y/N Dr. Abbott. 

“Incandescently happy. Today could not have been more perfect.” 

“Y/N,” Jack said his emotions taking over. “Every day with you is going to be perfect. I know I don’t deserve you but thank you so much for choosing me.” 

“Jack Abbott you self deprecating little asshole,” Y/N teased. “You deserve the absolute world and I hope that I can provide you as much happiness as possible. I love you more than anything and I can’t wait to see our future together.” 

He pulled her in for a long kiss again as they swayed together holding each other tightly. 

He could feel his eyes filling up with tears, he wouldn’t lose her. 

“There is an entire squad of police waiting outside for you.” He blurted out and Robby and Dana turned to look at him horrified. 

“What!” Driscoll snapped. “I told you no police or I would kill her!” 

“Did you actual believe that we wouldn’t call the police. You shut down an entire Emergency Department. You can’t seriously think that the police weren’t going to get involved.” He snapped as he inched forward making sure to keep his hands up and visible. “But I will get you out of here, without the police ever seeing you. Under the condition that you let Y/N go.” 

“You would switch places with her?”

“I would die for her if I have to.” 

“Jack,” Y/N let out a cry. She was exhausted emotionally and physically, her head was ringing from the injury and her mind was spinning from everything that was happening. 

“I have an alternative plan.” Driscoll said. “I keep Y/N here with me, insuring that the police don’t kill me. And she stays with me until I can get someone and get hidden. Or maybe I’ll just keep her.” He sneered and Jack felt like he was going to vomit. 

“Don’t you get it, you piece of shit. I’m not letting you take her anywhere.” Jack snapped his eyes darkening. “You either take me up on my offer, or I put you in a body bag.” 

“You are going to threaten me right now. Are you stupid?” 

“I was an army doctor. And I work night shift in the ER. I don’t crack under pressure. I’m meticulous and I have incredible patience. How are you going to feel in 2 hours let’s say, when you are hungry, thirsty, or have to take a piss. You think you are going to be thinking clearly. Not a chance. And that’s when I will best you. And I’ll claim it was self-defense.” 

The room went deathly quiet. The look on Jack’s face was absolutely terrified. Y/N had never seen him look so angry. He looked like a whole different person. 

Y/N could feel Driscoll grip on her start to relax, as his hands started to shake. The reality of the whole situation finally hitting him. Y/N took her chance and pushed herself away from Driscoll lunging for Jack. 

Everything seemed to slow, and Jack watched Y/N push away from Driscoll and he quickly reached his arms out to her ready to grab her up and pull her into himself protectively. But he could see Driscoll turn the gun and point it at Y/N’s back. Suddenly a gunshot went off and Y/N’s back arced as she fell into Jack’s arms. 

“No, no!” Jack screamed as he could feel the warm blood on his arms. “Y/N!” 

“I love you, I love you, I love you.” Y/N kept repeating her eyes filling with fear as she stared up at her husbands face. She just kept repeating it as blood filled her mouth. 

“I didn’t… oh shit I…” Driscoll panicked as he watched the police start to rush in. “I’m sorry.” He said as he turned the gun on himself and fired. 

Here are the links to what I think the reader's wedding dress, and ring would look like.

tag list: @rosewritesitout, @brnesblogposts @emma8895eb

[inf3ct3dd]

streamer!ellie pt.2

summary: i hated the other one of this that i made, so REMAKE TIEM!!!

warnings: miiinor sexual content, shit talking, gay people 😒

authors note: heheheh ples don’t flop this time..

- during her faceless days, she opened up a po box so ppl could send her things, and she made an amazon wishlist and she unboxed stuff on stream 😍😍

- one day she was unboxing a giant box of cat toys. string, those little feather stick things, even that weird automatic flapping fish thing (that she secretly loves and taped to her back one time)

- she was playing with this one toy that was a little fishing reel, and it had string and a little fish on the bottom. she went on and onnn about how shes a self proclaimed “fishing master” while garf chased it around, letting out little meows and growls of frustration.

- eventually, she lost her grip and let go of the pole. she bent down to pick it up, forgetting that her face would be in view. thus, the chat started blowing up.

ewwwbruh: FACE REVEAL

ewwife: EW WE CAN SEE UR FACE

ewwife: JUST THE SIDE BUT WE CAN SEE YOUU

ewssidechick: her nose looks so rideable…

- she got distracted petting garfield, and didn’t realize anything until she stood up. she was getting tagged over and over again on twitter, blurry pictures of her face (curtesy of the shitty webcam) circulating through her subreddit.

- “guys. im gonna erase this from ur memory…” and she literally held up this goofy ass hypnotizer pendelum and started fake hypnotizing everyone like “that never happenedddd” “you don’t know what i look likeeee” “that was fakeeee” “chat that was not reallll”

- and everyone literally js went along with it and pretended it never happened. like ppl were tweeting about it and everyone was like “huh??? what are u talking about bruh??”

- she did the same thing after falling off her rainbow unicorn scooter 😞

- one time she revealed that the “ew” in her username stood for her initials, and everyone was making the most horrendous guesses. elliam willace being the favorite one.

- “guys, my name is not edward wilson??? i am…not a man”

- shes gotten into so much drama…multiple notes app apologies have been issued via her instagram story.

- people would ask her opinions on other streamers, and she’d literally just be like “…i have no idea who that is.” and people would get so MADDDD but homegirl is literally just blatantly unaware

- or she would know , and would literally be like “they’re honestly super annoying and i would rather kill myself than watch them but whatever floats ur boat ig!”

- she played that “womp womp womp womppp” sound effect on her soundboard afterwards.

- SPEAKING OF. she abuses that soundboard sooo much. its so obnoxious and annoying like I SWEARRR!!! she’ll tell a horrible pun and play the crowd laughing and cheering sound effects while literally no one laughed.

“guys. whats the best way to watch a fly fishing tournament??”

“…live streaming.”

(crowd cheering sound effect)

“nooo thank you thank you, you’re all too kind, really!!”

- meanwhile chat was dead silent.

- every time she gets to choose her own name on a game its some dumb shit like "jizzmaster" or "chris fucker"

- “it appears you have entered innapropriate content.” “OHHH LOOK AT EPISODE LOOK AT THESE CORPORATE BIGWIGS TRYING TO CONTROL THE LITTLE MAN???”

- she just ended up naming him “chris phucker”

- like when she played episode on stream and made up really annoying voices for all the characters and made her character look like an elderly man, and made the love interest look like you 😍😍

- she messes up sm on games when she streams normally, but when you're there? she is LOCKED THE FUCK IN. sitting there so focused the entire time just to show off

- whenever she randomly goes silent she just starts SINGING. it's either nicki minaj or some fucking fnaf song

"IS THIS THE THANKS THAT I GET FOR PUTTING U BITCHES ON???"

- speaking of, her favorite fnaf song is def “stay calm” cuz she loves saying “hey kids. Nice to eat ya.”

- bought one of those "i paused my game to be here" tshirts…ironically. you refuse to let her wear it in public

- beefs w kids on fortnite sm... she has definitely gotten banned for saying she was gonna bomb a kids house or fuck their mom 😞

- every time she plays a game, she'll literally sit there and watch an 8 hour long video about the lore. she'll plop down on the couch and watch it like a movie

"did you know everyone actually thought that fnaf one took place in 1993, but it was actually 1992?"

- she definitely had you sit next to her when she played through fnaf because she was lowk scared the entire time whenever she heard you walking around the house while she was playing she'd hear footsteps in the hallway and be like. WHAT THE FUCKKK

-she'd have you right next to her, laying your head on her shoulder and messing with her free hand. if you fell asleep, she would be sitting there slapping her hand over her mouth whenever she gets jumpscared bc she doesn't want you to wake up 😞

- sometimes, while she streams , she plays one handed games and lets you sit and draw on her arm for fun. even got you a whole set of those skin markers so u could go ABSOLUTELY HAM. she got one drawing you did that said “r + e 4eva” tattooed in ur handwriting…such a sap

- she loves watching fan edits of herself...AND OF YOU. she'll be on her burner account with a whole collection on tiktok of edits of you.

ewwsbiggestfan: shes so bad i want her to hit me w her car...

- speaking of. imagine her using that account to make shitty capcut edits of you like

- shes ur biggest fan ongod

-WHILE WE’RE ON THE TOPIC OF “fans”…what if i made a completely new origin story for streamer!ellie and reader. what if they were both streamers….

- OKAY SO BASICALLY.

- you had started streaming about a year before ellie did. butttt, you two did very different types of streaming.

- you weren’t very into like, SERIOUS video games. sure, you played some stuff, like animal crossing and roblox and the sims, but nothing more than that.

- that wasn’t what you were streaming though.

- ever since you were younger, you had been wayyyy into…literature.

-by literature i mean fanfiction. heaps of it.

- actors, anime characters, BOOK CHARACTERS, you were in DEEP

- sometimes, for fun, you used to read them out loud in stupid voices. when you were alone, or with your friends, it was very entertaining

- that’s when you got the idea to start streaming it. if it could entertain your friends, and you, whos to say it wouldn’t entertain other people.

- well, it definitely did. in your first year, you hit 10k followers. people loved you. theyd make edits of you, send in requests of fics for you to read, everything.

- a while later, ellie started gaining more and more popularity. out of all the incomes of fame, fanfiction was the most. abundant!

- one day, you got a request to read an ellie x reader fic. at the time, you barely had any idea who she was, but you decided to just go with it 🤞🏽

- “who the fuck is elliam willace???”

- the fanfic was definitely very…graphic!

- “your hips rolled onto her thigh, her slender, tattooed hand palming at your waist. ‘you’re doing so good babe, fuck.’-“ “GUYS. ISN’T SHE NOT ON MUTE RIGHT NOW???”

- you couldn’t help but giggle the rest of the fic, feeling a nagging heat in your core. you didn’t even know who the girl was, but if this fic was accurate, someone would have to sedate you.

-“im actually. gnawing at the iron bars of my enclosure. GUYS. who is this woman…is she real… if she is. things are about to get WICKED.”

- not very thankful to you at the moment, she was very real. apparently, you and her were streaming at the same time, and your followers raided her stream telling her she was reading about you. her curiosity was obviously piqued, and why would she NOT join the stream?

- creeperewman: im definitely real!

- the text on your screen literally made your stomach fall into your ass. you stood up and legit just walked out of the room, camera still on. was she there the whole time???

- creeperewman: aww 😞 where’d she go she’s so badddd

- you eventually returned after a minute of calming yourself down, and low and behold, she gifted you 100 subs and followed you on instagram.

- she was definitely very real!! and that fanfic was…lore accurate. to say the least 😊

- after you two started dating, the two of you would often show up on eachothers streams. ellie, teaching you how to play cod, and you, reading with her.

- she secretly loves reading the fics people write about her and making fun of them, and every time you stream with her shes “subtly” hinting that you should read about her

sitting there pulling on her collar, looking away like “gee, wonder who you’re gonna pick today” with the worst fake laugh ever.

- “ellie can barely ride a scooter, idk why she’s in the mafia rn…” “you fall off ONE TIME and all of a sudden you cant ride a scooter. bullshit.”

- she makes fun of all the dumb pet names like “babygirl” and “darling” and randomly calls you them and bursts out laughing

- you still read those fics when you’re bored sometimes. and ellie MERCILESSLY makes fun of you for it

“yknow, if you missed me that bad, you should’ve just told me.”

[the-sun-and-the-sea]

Who is Finnick Odair, actually?

One of the first things that drew me to Finnick as a character was how layered his portrayal was. What we see of him during his first introduction doesn't turn out to be who he really is.

I find Finnick challenging to write but also really fun because he's an incredibly calculated person. When we see him from Katniss's point of view, we gradually start to learn more about him and get better at discerning what is part of his real personality and what is just an act. The thing is that he rarely says what he means.

We know his flirtatious heartthrob personality is an act he puts on for the Capitol as well as probably a defense mechanism and a form of currency (he uses his body to get what he wants, namely secrets from his Capitol clients). So when I'm writing him, I'm wondering how much of that is fake and how much comes from his genuine personality. We see that he has a self-deprecating sense of humor that Katniss thinks is genuine, but we don't get a lot more than that.

Finnick is a person who's used to being constantly watched. He's a celebrity in the Capitol, and we also know that Snow keeps tabs on the victors via cameras, so I'm sure Finnick is also aware of that. So does this impact the way he acts? He would certainly have to avoid saying his rebellious thoughts, but beyond that, does he act differently when no one is watching?

Another major factor is that Finnick won the Games at fourteen, an age when people are just starting to figure themselves out. I have to imagine that this majorly stunted his emotional growth. He went from having a semi-normal life to everything that comes with being a victor. For this reason, I don't even think Finnick knows who Finnick is. There's a lot of self-discovery that he didn't have the safe place or resources to do. And he was probably never in a good spot to really work through his trauma.

The biggest questions running through my mind when I'm writing Finnick are these: who is Finnick? Who is he trying to be in this moment, and why? What is he thinking and feeling, and how much of that is he hiding? What is he trying to get out of this, and what is he willing to give?

In conclusion, I think Finnick's personality can vary depending on who he's around and the situation he's in. This can make it really hard to nail down a specific personality for him. Additionally, he is never going to be a paragon of self-awareness, either at twenty-four in canon or younger in the years leading up to it. He's young, he's dealing with a lot of his own issues, and he's usually not going to have the means to really know himself. We see moments of his genuine personality come through, especially in Mockingjay, so I'm not trying to say that we don't know him at all. And even the moments that are clearly insincere can tell us about his character by showing how he handles the different situations he's put in.

I don't have an answer to the question in the title. I don't think Finnick would either. Writing Finnick isn't impossible, but there's definitely a lot to think about, and I think that makes it a really fun challenge.

[thattimdrakeguy]

Zoanne Is The Most Underrated Tim Drake Side Character Ever

Most of Tim's side characters are either super simple, and likable, totally forgettable, or hit or miss, or just not built to last.

But with Zoanne, I've always really liked her. She was written to represent something in Tim's story, instead of being simple background dressing. She feels like someone that does her own thing when Tim's not around, instead of despawning like a video game NPC. And adds way more than simply mild amusement.

And her positioning within Tim's life is also great ground for character work. Something a great side character should be able to do.

Like in this instance giving Tim someone to ground himself, while his life is growing more abnormal thanks to being adopted by Bruce. Most writers would've elected to have Tim get a more weird life--

Remember that weird arc where Tim faked an Uncle to avoid being adopted despite seeming excited at the idea Bruce wanted him to be around like that--?

Was a bit hokey, though I know it has it's fans, but for me it felt a little out of character, a little too done purely for fun, and not a good accurate portrayal of the character. I like my stuff character driven and fun, not just--nonsense.

The writing feels natural and real. You get to see more of Tim's personality. He's smart, but he's not someone who thinks he's special. This is a trait that's even been identified in Tim by people in editorial in old 90s DC Comics when Tim was still being developed. So it's a very purposeful character choice.

He has his moments of showing off like anybody, especially a kid. However when not caught up in the moment, he's extremely humble. Though, socially stumbles at the same time. He's still a bit awkward around the edges. Social, but not entirely natural.

Remember also Tim wanted to go to a normal public school close to the beginning of his introduction as a character. If you read his origin and early issues in his newly formed time as a Batman character he was still in boarding school. Tim wanted to go to public school though. Tim is someone who loves to feel grounded despite his privlages.

And he's putting in the effort to maintain that despite his new semi-celebrity status as the newly adopted son of Bruce Wayne. It's his whole purpose of being here. Tim's a proactive character in his story, not reactive. He wanted to be tutored despite not needing it. Which helps him remain interesting, wondering what he'll be up to next.

And he lifts Zoanne's spirits up, because he's such a good hearted person. Like a natural extension of who he tries to be for Batman but applied to someone else in a less major way. Making it an interaction specifically something Tim Drake would do, instead of a measly generic interaction to build up a boring romance.

No, it's character work all the way through. Tim never stops being Tim, because the writer got lazy, like what happens under other writers. He's still showing who he is as a person the entire scene.

Heck, the first panels I showed where Tim has to come up with an excuse for smelling bad, is just fun work to be had with him being a kid crime-fighter. Small, but there, and very fun.

Zoanne's also very likable, so is her family. Feels like it could be your own family or the family of a friend. It deepens her own character as well.

How many Tim Drake side-characters have we actually got to see their family well-enough to know their own personalities? Ariana? There's not a lot. Which makes you want to see Zoanne again too. She's a side-character, yes, but she still feels like her own person. Which makes her more memorable and likable. That's a strong thing to get from a side-character, who are often bottom of the barrel in terms of characterization.

I've read the entire Robin series many times, and I couldn't tell you the name of all the side-characters, or describe their families to you.

I can with Zoanne, though.

She's someone who definitely should've came back by now. I think she's the greatest side-character Tim has ever had, and should be more beloved by the fandom.

If only she lasted longer and wasn't thrown away by one of the next writers--

[huellitaa]

why people don't like you ₊˚⊹ 💬🎀

okay this is not as harsh as the title suggests but i wanted to put it literally bcuz this is a problem i've struggled with for the longest time. im gonna be brutally honest here. there are so many reasons why ur not of the social status you want to be or don't have as many friends as you like yadda yadda yadda. SO ,, here's my thoughts on why that's the case , and how to help! 🫶🏻🎀💬

──★ ˙ ̟🎀you're fake

whether its cuz ur trying to "fit in" or because you have a completely different personality stored in the back for everyone you meet, ur fake. its very simple. its not necessarily a bad thing, it just means ur insecure.

🧁𓂃 ࣪˖ how do you deal with this?

stop trying so hard girl. it's not that deep. there are 8 billion people on this earth and counting, u really think this person's gonna matter when ur living ur dreams and thriving even more than you ever imagined you could? no. move on. next please!

find out who the fuck you genuinely are. you're never gonna live your life if YOU aren't the one living it. once you get a start on finding who YOU are it's gonna make you more authentic -> more magnetic -> more attractive in every single way, including social.

u arent obligated to fit in. think about the type of people that you see in the street and you stare a while at, the type of people who stand out from a crowd for whatever reason, the people u look up to, ur idols who you could never imagine to meet in a thousand years; do you think they fit in? do you think merging with a crowd is what made them appeal to you so much? no. think abt that.

wake the fuck up and realise u deserve better. why are you neglecting yourself by hiding yourself from the world? would u do that to anyone else? would u get anyone else to change themselves just so they can fit in? girl get a hold of urself!!! you've been through so much and youve made it so far and yet you're still pretending to be someone you aren't?? you deserve SO much better. people who truly deserve you will always love you for you, no one else.

──★ ˙ ̟🎀 ur too awkward / anxious

i want to preface this by saying theres nothing wrong w this at all and i completely understand but ur gonna face some problems of people interacting with you. or you interacting w them. or both. i was diagnosed w generalised anxiety disorder when i was 11, so i understand how much this can impact ur life not just socially but in all areas.

⭐𓂃 ࣪˖ how do you deal with this?

first thing im gonna mention to preface is this can be a symptom of an underlying condition u may need to get checked out. if its impacting ur everyday life please seek therapy, i am not a professional and cannot help u w this, even if i'd like to. i love u ♡

find what is making u anxious. what about social interaction is scary to you, and why? why does interacting w others make u nervous? is there a specific thing ur worried about or u find nervewracking? always. find. the root!

have compassion and empathy and patience w yourself. its perfectly okay and normal to some extent to feel like this and of course we're all gonna feel like this sometimes but its important to treat urself with care, especially in these times.

treat urself as u would a child. i recommend treating urself like a friend a lot but when ur in a delicate and emotional state like this its better to treat urself like ur ur own child. take care of urself with the same love and attentiveness as you would your own children and give yourself time and take care of yourself to work through the issue. ♡

break things down and take it slow and simple. break it into steps and PUT. YOURSELF. FIRST until u feel able to go back out into the public again and be That Girl ♡

──★ ˙ ̟🎀 ur straight up mean

this can be anywhere from just being generally disinterested in people, being constantly negative all of the time to being just really shitty and rude. we all have the same potentials and possibilities but sometimes we can fall into the trap of negative patterns when interacting with others, which is okay. everyone messes up sometimes. but the important thing is is that we fall back out of that and become even better for it!

💬𓂃 ࣪˖ how do you deal with this?

try ur best to put ur ego aside and think about yourself from an outside perspective. would you wanna be friends with you? if you were another person, how would you think people feel around you?

(🗒🎀 note: if that's too difficult, create someone in ur head or mentally assign ur traits, the good and bad, to someone you dont really know, and think ab how youd feel around them. insecure? jealous? confident? excited? nervous? think about it.)

i know it sounds weird but literally just sit down and talk to people close to u when you get the chance or the opportunity comes up and ask if anything you do comes off rude or blunt or abrupt or any sort of negative trait you think might be the issue here. or just subtly (or directly, either one works) try and find out their opinions on you so u can figure out if that aligns w what and how u wanna be, and then how you can change that.

just be generally more sweet and polite. people are easily gonna like you more if ur not a total dick. stop being mean to people, say please and thank you, compliment strangers, smile at everyone, put ur ego aside cuz its really not that deep girl.

──★ ˙ ̟🎀 ur too nice / people pleaser

okay being nice is not a bad thing. there is a fine line between being THE nice girl and being A nice girl. there is a fine line between being kind and being a pushover. you don't have to sacrifice urself to be nice to people. being nice should go both ways!

🧁𓂃 ࣪˖ how do you deal with this?

first things first, like all things and like i've said a billion times before, you need to address the root of what is causing you to act like this. this should always be the first thing you do when addressing any problem, esp w urself. why are you acting like this? what is causing you to endlessly seek approval like this and sacrifice urself in the process? think.

start saying no to people, even to the littlest things. if you want to do it then sure, but start saying no so much more often. it gives you a sense of control and shows you only you have a choice in the things you do in ur life, no one else.

define kindness. is what ur getting in return to this unconditional self sacrifice genuine kindness, or friendship, or respect, or attention, or whatever else you assume you're receiving from all of this? only you can answer that. ask urself what the genuine meaning of all the things ur trying to gain from this are and then see if that aligns w what ur receiving. (🗒🎀 note: also read this post of mine for more on this! ♡)

again, therapy is gonna help a lot w this. if this is making an impact on ur life, social or otherwise, then i am not a professional and cannot help u w this (as much as id like to). ily and i believe in u ♡

──★ ˙ ̟🎀 you seem "unapproachable / intimidating"

people are threatened by talent. people are threatened by beauty. people are threatened by what they aren't. so, congrats! you've achieved your goal! 🩷💭

🫶🏻𓂃 ࣪˖ how do you deal with this?

i told my therapist once that people have told me i seem rude, unapproachable, intimidating, etc. and i felt really upset about it because i dont wanna come off that way. i wanna be nice and approachable and someone people can talk to. and she asked me what i would do if my favourite celebrity or famous person or whatever was my age and was walking through my school. i told her i'd think they were really cool and want to be friends with them, but wouldn't be sure how to go about it bcuz they'd be super intimidating. think about that.

🗒️🎀 note: but if you do find that people say this or act like this around you a lot, then you might need to do some introspection and ask urself if anything ur doing makes people feel like that rather than their own insecurities and mindset. ♡

i just want to quickly add that not everybody is going to like you. everyone feels a general sense of dislike from time to time and this post is what i mean by that, NOT how to make everyone like you bcuz that's literally impossible and something you shouldn't waste ur time and energy on. as harsh as i may have been in this post ur amazing and i love u no matter how much improvement you have to do ♡ i love you and am proud of you and you should be proud of yourself too!

all my love... 💬🎀🫶🏻💗

[timkontheunsure]

Conditional Love -

Stolas will try to leave, and Blitz will have to tell him he loves him.

The song Merry Sinsmas lyrics foreshadows it. It's from sung from Blitz's view.

"You pack your bag, you kiss me on the cheek, you tell a lie 'that you will soon return to me'."

Then it back to Blitz saying "I loved you then, I love you still, and now it won't be long until you're here at last. And then I'll ask if you heart still burns for me?"

"I would travel every ring of hell just to see if you'll be mine."

"Merry Sinsmas. Know that you are on my mind! Merry Sinsmas! Truer love is hard to find."

Stolas will leave, and Blitz will have to tell him how he loves him to keep Stolas.

But ok why will Stolas try to leave?

Stolas is just as bad as Blitz with self worth issues. He believes any love and affection he receives is conditional.

He doesn't even think that Blitz would stop being friends with Striker, after trying to kill him.

Any love and care he reserves from Blitz is a tally in his mind. And on the other side is things he thinks he has to do to deserve it.

Same go with Via, so any her being angry isn't just that; it's that she hates him and he's not worthy of love as a father.

(Seriously they're so similar with this).

While Stolas can and does love unconditionally, he believes he's not worth it in return.

If he does enough good things for the people in his life they'll care about him for a little bit. If he doesn't they won't, because he's fundamentally unlovable.

It's the mind set of alot of abuse victims, because it is how abusers work. Their victims are tools, and it's really is a case of 'so what have you done for me lately'.

So what's Stolas thinks on his side of the balance sheet with Blitz? Gratitude, pity and guilt.

Stolas tuck Blitz's place, and tried to give up his life to keep him safe.

And since then Blitz has been showering Stolas with love and care for a month. Showing all affection he normally keeps completely hidden...

Blitz even hired him on.

While we know Blitz has been crazy about Stolas for around a year, (the guy's blushing about them in Harvest Moon Festival).

And Blitz thinks that he's been very clear.

That Stolas already knows how he feels, because he's already begged for him not to go, when he pleaded for Stolas to not die for him.

But Stolas really isn't getting this. Like Blitz didn't get that Stolas really loved and cared about him; all through their stupid tit for tat deal.

Trading affection from Blitz for access to the grimoire. Ooof.

I absolutely love Blitz savings Stolas from the dragon.

And in that moment it makes him so happy. Finally able to responding romantically again to Blitz. Because he gets Blitz loves him here.

But then he gets the stuffings knocked out of him. With Via telling him she was just an obligation, and him thinking she hates him; Stolas thoroughly back into the conditional love mindset all over again.

Because what makes this time difference after all?

In his mind Blitz only saved him as a debt to be repaid, with Blitz even appearing to tell him so... 😬

It's why he starts withdrawing again, cus he's got to remind himself it's fake. And it would be taking advantage to respond to Blitz.

A guy who's Stolas thinks has told him twice, that he'd never really want to date him. That Blitz never like him romantically, but he's willing to fake it. Ooof....

And now Stolas believes they're square, a life saved for a life saved.

Why would he expect Blitz still be lovely and caring of him after all? Stolas tells Blitz there's no need to feel guilty for what it cost Stolas, because it was his choice.

Blitz thinks he's been very clear that he wants Stolas, that they're on the same page, about them being in love with eachother...

But Stolas...He thinks it's all fake. An act Blitz is putting on to be nice to him. That if he went along with it he'd would be taking advantage again.

Same as he thinks he did with the grimoire, cus he still doesn't know Blitz enjoy spending time with him, outside of sex.

Stolas really does thinks he's an unlovable monster, that Blitz was forced to put up with.

And it's very unlikely he's changed that view of himself, now he has even less he can give Blitz.

Honestly he could do with Fizz pointing out no one goes to this much trouble for an easy lay. (If Fizz is to point out Stolas is being an idiot about how obvious Blitz love himI laugh so hard).

It's very likely to come back around this conversation.

It's played out twice so far.

First with Blitz wordlessly telling Stolas leaving to go dance with with BTB.

Second with Stolas leaving the party, Blitz flowing, but this time staying and dancing with Stolas himself.

Rule of three is very common in media. Think this time Stolas will leave, Blitz will follow, they'll dance; and Blitz will use his words to tell Stolas why the wants him to come back.

That he'll have to run over rings to get to Stolas, and tell him Blitz loves him, and for how long he has. And ask if Stolas still loves.

With Blitz bringing Stolas back this time.

It would be lovely if this was a duet between the two of them, because so far there duets have been fully on the same page.

WISH has them singing at cross purposes in two different places.

And Mastermind has them on the same page emotionally for their soliloquy, and in the same space, but they don't actually hear eachother.

The previous two dances have were set to diagetic music, and have it be a full duet that would be a sweet way have them talk. Like with Crooked between Fizzarolli and Asmodeus.

But come on Blitz just ask Stolas out properly.

(Ok level with you, I'm not ready sure that song is full foreshadowing. With every part going happening. Sam's said it's just a Christmas carol.

But Stolas trying to leave, because he thinks he's being a burden, and that Blitz only likes him because of guilt, gratitude, and pity; makes way too much sense to me.

The idea that Vassago might offer Stolas somewhere to stay keeps coming into my head. It would make sense as he seems to like Stolas, and the rich tend to not like to see 'one of their own forced low'...

Don't think that either Blitz or Stolas would want Stolas to go. But unless Blitz tells him how he feels, it does seem like something their own self worth issues could do).

[makethemhoesmad]

loml

no comment

—

“i love you, i love you, you’re the fucking love of my life baby, you’re perfect, wanna be with you forever,” paige says to me, kissing my neck while we lay naked in her bed. she never really says this stuff, only after we’ve fucked and she’s itching to go another round. i always cave. “mhmmm, paigey, i love you, please touch me,” she touches me, does what i want, then holds me close to her naked body and falls asleep, mumbling how she’ll never leave. I fall asleep, because she’s a warm body and i love her. she’s the love of my life.

I jolt up from a dream. a dream of a baby with two moms, one blond and one with my face. it wasn’t real, it never is, but after dreams like this it makes me hurt on the inside. i turn over to muffle the silent sniffs that always come from the empty feeling dreams like this leave behind. the body next to me moves, and a cool hand comes up to brush my cheek.

“baby.”

“paige.”

“what’s wrong? did i do something? can i help?”

i sniff, then curl against her, expressing, “i need a baby.”

she looks at me for a moment, perplexed, then kisses my forehead.

“you’re so tired darling, go back to bed”

hm.

paige gets back from practice at normal time, but she isn’t acting as normal as she usually does. normally she’s excitable and tells me all about the shots she made, the plays she set, everything. today she’s just here. my phone lights up, with a text from ashlynn shade of all people. i rarely talk to her. i go to the bathroom to open it, because maybe paige shouldn’t read it.

i read the first message and sink to the floor, back pressed to the wall.

ash shade

hey. i think you should know that paige keeps saying…things about you. 

what kind of things???

ash shade

well, she talks about how you’re always going on about wanting to settle down, get married, have kids. and she said that “you’re the love of her life. she just doesn’t want that. not now, not ever”

paige gets over her mood later, and we do our usual dance around the obvious issues. she pretends not to notice my faked enthusiasm, and i pretend not to notice the fact that she never once tells me i’m the love of her life. when she falls asleep, i don’t. i wonder when she’ll break up with me. it has to happen soon, there’s no chance it won’t. i’m taken back to the first conversation we had, where she told me that if sex with me was half as good as talking to me was, then soon enough we’d be pushing strollers. but i guess that’s over.

“cmon bro, don’t fucking be like that,” paige taunts me, rolling her eyes at my words.

“don’t you dare bro me, paige. i have a right to be fucking mad, you’re shit talking me to your teammates then coming home and banging me like i’m some one night stand! how about you stop being like this,” i scoff, spitting venom at her words.

“well bro, if you need to know because you’re so insecure that you can’t stand someone saying anything about you, the team asked how we were doing and i told them we wanted different things. fair enough.”

“if we want different things, there’s no point in staying together when we both know where this is going to end.”

“Fine. fuck you and fuck your rings and your cradles.”

“Fuck you,” i say, finalizing what had been brewing since we turned on the fire.

paige leaves, slamming the door and shouting profanities. i lock the door, turn around, and stand in our my bedroom. her hoodie is on the floor. her hoodie is in my arms. she’s the loss of my life.

[saturnyo]

Call Me Castillo

Chapter 3 - That Wasn't In The Job Description

Chapter 1 Chapter 2

Pairing: Harry Castillo x Reader

Summary: Such a crazy proposal that Harry has brought forth. Fake date him and get rid of anyone still talking about your failed engagement and his soured reputation in the media. Will you accept or deny his proposal?

Warnings: mentions of Y/N like once or twice, I believe, power imbalance, some fluff, etc

WC: 1.9k

A/N: I usually use Spotify for the song choice but it's acting up so bear with me on using YouTube for now until the issue is fixed

Song choice: Lose You to Love Me by Selena Gomez

From: andrew.mason@outlook.com

To: {Redacted}

CC: jessica.bridesmaid@gmail.com, tobias.bestman@gmail.com, emily.matronofhonor@gmail.com, chris.groomsman@gmail.com, lindsey.flowermom@yahoo.com, laura.bride.mom@hotmail.com, charles.groomdad@aol.com

Subject: A Clarification for Everyone Involved

Hey [Y/N],

I've taken a few days to process everything. After some deep reflection (and advice from my therapist, whom I hope you'll consider seeing too), I wanted to take a moment to officially and respectfully bring closure to what we had.

I know that things haven't been perfect lately, and I accept my share of the responsibility for how things turned out. I never wanted to hurt you — you're an incredible woman, intelligent, compassionate, and genuinely kind. However, I've realized that we've been growing in very different directions, and continuing to push forward with a wedding that no longer reflects where either of us is would be unfair not just to me, but to you and everyone involved.

For transparency and to avoid any confusion or rumors, I've looped in the bridal party on this email. I think it's best if everyone hears the same message directly, without distortions or misinterpretations.

To be clear: our relationship is over.

You can come by the apartment this weekend to collect your things. I've boxed up most of your stuff already — it's labeled and waiting in the foyer. Please text me when you're on the way so I can make myself scarce; I think space is the healthiest thing for both of us right now.

I know this is hard. Believe me, this wasn't easy for me either. But I hope in time, you'll understand that this is the best decision for both of us. You deserve someone who truly sees you and can meet your emotional needs in a way I simply couldn't.

No hard feelings. I still wish you the absolute best, sincerely.

Warm regards, Andrew

P.S. To everyone CC'd — please be respectful and give us both some time before reaching out. This is already hard enough without adding to the drama. Thanks for understanding.

─── ∙ ~εïз~ ∙ ──

You stared at the computer screen longer than you cared to admit. It was bad enough that the man dumped you in front of everyone at your engagement party; now he has sent you an email and CC'd the entire wedding party.

What a fucking asshole.

The day started relatively normally. You had a strange interaction with Maria and Jackie from legal, who scurried off at the sight of you when you walked into the break room. It was weird, but you ignored it and continued to get your coffee. When you got back to your office, you could hear Harry's voice through the wall talking with a business associate. He didn't know you listened out of curiosity and sometimes boredom - you couldn't help it; the walls between your office and his were thin.

You heard a ding from your email inbox, figuring it was legal; IT reminding you to change your password or even Tobias wanting to gossip about who's fucking who in the office- smiling to yourself at your best friend's antics before opening it. Your heart dropped when you saw the name and email address it was sent from, then you realized that your former wedding party bridesmaids and groomsmen, whom you had considered friends at one point, were included too.

When you thought it couldn't affect you any more than it already had, your darling ex-fiancé has decided to humiliate you more. He has a weird sense of entitlement and humility. Acting like a good person, saying he's gone to therapy, and honestly, he should have gone a long time ago.

Love or what you thought was love blinded you from his narcissistic tendencies and his annoying way of demeaning what you did for work.

"My cute little secretary," he would say as if my working for Harry Castillo was anything but an achievement.

You kept rereading the words over and over again. It was almost like a corrupted psalm, a mantra filling your head with nonsense and making you feel guilty. A distant noise buzzes in your ears, but it's irrelevant; the words jumping off the computer are all you can see.

"Y/N?...."

"Y/N!"

Harry's voice comes through the door, knocking on it, trying to get your attention.

"Yes, Mr. Castillo?" You murmured, still torn between his voice and your computer. There was no response from the other side.

You sighed. "Yes, Harry?"

You could feel his smile through the wood and wallpaper.

"I need to speak with you about the deposition."

Your brow furrowed in confusion. "Deposition? I didn't know anything about that."

"It's something I've been handling myself. Can you just come over to my office for a minute?"

"Yes, Harry, I'll be right there."

His footsteps fade away as you get up, gathering your notepad and pen. When you opened the door, he was casually sitting back in his chair, hands clasped in front of him like he was waiting for you to admit a secret that he already knew.

Harry motions for you to sit down in the same chair as yesterday, waiting for him to speak about the "deposition."

"So you wanted to speak about the dispos-" you started to speak.

"That was a lie." He says, cutting you off

You raise your eyebrow. "A lie? Why would you need to lie?"

He looks at you for a moment, hesitating to tell you whatever was so important that he would lie to you to get you to come to his office. Harry had never done that before, so you were extremely curious as to why he would do something a bit out of character. Suddenly, he shifts in his seat, leaning forward closely, his face close to yours, but not uncomfortable.

"I need you to hear me out, ok?" He stops, then continues. "It's about the gala."

"Are you choosing someone else for your plus one? Or do you want to cancel your invite?"

His face goes white, making the words that just fell out of your mouth equivalent to robbing a bank.

"No. No. No, I still want you to be my plus one..."

"I feel like there is a but in there somewhere."

Harry takes a deep breath before continuing. "I think we can help each other. You know the media paints me as a womanizer and bachelor. Now with you, I'm assuming you want people to stop asking about your...failed engagement."

Your skin prickles at the memory of being left at the front of a grand ballroom, everyone's eyes on you as your fiancé, now ex, walked out the doors without so much as a goodbye and a pathetic sorry.

"Why are you bringing those two things up?" You replied.

"Well, I think we can solve both of our problems. At the gala, we should announce that we are dating."

You know the moment in a movie where the hero says something, and it just makes you stare at the screen for hours after the film has even ended?

Yeah, that is what just happened.

You looked at Harry like he was the hero in the movie, when instead of an incredible speech on defeating evil, or having to band together to defeat the oncoming forces, he said something that only a crackpot could say.

"I-i'm sorry, you said what now?" you exclaimed, your eyes almost bulging out of your head.

"I understand how that may sound, but just listen for a moment, ok? Those around us have vilified both of us, and I think that, even if it's temporary, it can give us some breathing room to at least get them off our backs."

You jumped up, abandoning any professionalism, and were dumbfounded at how he said it so casually.

"Are you kidding me? Harry, you're asking me not only to lie to our coworkers but also to the press and my mother that we're dating. Plus, you want to do it at a gala. A gala where the elite will be in attendance watching our every move, and of all places, you want to announce it there!?" You snapped.

"Y/N...please, I'm trying to help you in this situation. I know your fiancé just emailed-" he stops completely, caught in a lie he hadn't meant to reveal.

"Email? How did you know he emailed me?" You questioned. You walked over to his side of the desk, hands on hips, staring him down until he confessed. "Harry Castillo, what do you mean about the email?"

"It was flagged in the system. Look, that's not important right now. What is trying to figure out how we can convince everyone."

"Wait, wait, I haven't even agreed to the idea."

Harry didn't even flinch. His jaw ticked. The brief hint of something else passes quickly.

"It's just for a brief time. You won't be shackled to me forever. We can draft up something that's ironclad if it'll make you feel better, and we need something more than just my word." He adds that his brown eyes soften towards you, as you cannot look away.

"What else are you going to suggest now? That I move in?" You quipped.

"Tempting," he muttered with a smirk.

"Harry..."

"Look, I just...I do want to help. I hate to see you being leered at everywhere you go in the office. If i had my way everyone would be fired-well monies your friend Tobias" he said, voice softening.

His words settle in, taking your breath away. Harry has always been kind, but this? This is different. You breathe in and out before speaking. You know it's probably a bad idea, but if you agree, your life won't be the same.

"I'm assuming that we'll have to do a couple...stuff like holding hands and...kissing." You said, blushing.

Harry shifts in his seat once more, almost uncomfortable under your intense stare. The idea itself was crazy, impossible even. You know Harry extremely well, not only having worked with him for two years, but you have also practically scheduled his entire life.

The question is, does he know you?

"Look, this isn't how I imagined asking you." He said quietly. "I mean, I didn't think about asking you something like this at all."

He pauses, then meets your gaze again, soft and vulnerable.

"But the truth is, I'm tired. Tired of the way the media paints me as some womanizer. In reality, I keep myself busy whenever I'm not at work or other functions, as you know. It's strange, yes...But I still think it can help us."

He lets the words hang between you, his fingers tapping on the desk. Not in annoyance but curiosity.

"So what do you say?"

─── ∙ ~εïз~ ∙ ──

So what do you say?

His voice is a constant reminder of what you just agreed to. A deal. A contract. You two made a 3-month agreement to fake date, starting at the gala, to avoid further negative press and gossip about your failed engagement.

"So what do you say?"

Not even a beat passes.

"Yes."

The hallway leading to the elevator felt like time was moving slowly. Your legs felt heavy like cinder blocks, dragging behind you. The rest of the day went by without a hitch. Harry had meetings to attend to all day, so you were left to your own devices. As you sat in your office, you kept thinking it was a mistake and considered telling him that it was off when he got back.

But another part of you, the hurt part, wanted to get back at your ex, so you are starting to move on just as quickly as he did, if any of his Instagram posts were true.

During your break, you couldn't help but check it. It's where you saw a post of him with a girl you don't recognize. 

You and he had only separated a week prior.

Later that night, when you were sitting on your couch eating some leftovers, you heard your doorbell. It's probably something your mother sent or a salesman going door-to-door.

You didn't expect to see a bouquet of your favorite flowers and a bottle of your favorite wine.

There was a note attached to it.

Y/N...

I know our "relationship" is just an agreement, but you still deserve to be treated correctly.

I hope you enjoy them.

-Harry

It seems the big, bad Harry Castillo has a heart after all.

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

Hihi Raven! Not sure if someone else has asked this, but what's your opinion on Lilia?He was quite low on your twst character tierlist so i was wondering if there was a specific reason(s) lol.I love hearing others insights and perspectives on Lilia since he is one of the most interesting characters in twst imo. 🦇

[Referencing my personal Twst character tier list!]

I originally had Lilia pretty high up (in the "like" tier) back in about 2022? I thought he was pretty chill and fun, an interesting contrast to the rest of Diasomnia, who come off as very serious or somber. But over time... I became increasingly annoyed with his behavior. As I state in this post, which documents changes in my feelings on the Twst characters over time, I still think Lilia's a far better parental figure than some of the other adults we've seen in Twst, but what really kills him for me is how overly lenient he is, specifically as it pertains to Malleus. Lilia's lapses in maturity no longer read as a cute quirk, they now come off as failures to be stern with those under his care.

One thing that really bothers me about Malleus is how he makes mistake after mistake but is never properly called out for them by the narrative. I'm not frustrated that he messes up (this is normal and expected for everyone because we're all imperfect!), I'm frustrated that Malleus doesn't seem to realize that he messed up most of the time. And if you're not aware of the issue, how can you target and address it??? I feel that part of this problem is because Lilia enables Malleus or doesn't fully commit to scolding him or taking the situation seriously when he really, REALLY should.

Back in book 2, Lilia tells Leona off for his underhanded tactics, calling him unworthy of the crown (and to be clear, Lilia has a right to be mad here, because Leona was literally threatening the health, safety, and wellbeing of his liege). However, where Lilia loses me is when he declares that Malleus is the noble and superior king when... ironically, we never see Malleus truly "lead" or even strongly express any positions on policies or governance. Lilia doesn't seem to hold Malleus accountable for doing any of his supposed duties either. I understand him filling in for Malleus at dorm leader meetings since he's often unreachable for them, but how come Lilia is handling so much of the dorm leader work, repeatedly makes excuses for Malleus not being there, AND fake cries and tries to shove the responsibility of finding Malleus onto other dorm leaders??? Azul is right when he says "What are we supposed to do, begin every meeting by searching for Malleus? This is HIS problem." Vil also rightfully points out that "Both [Lilia] and [Malleus] are making a mockery of this." Lilia ONLY begins to take the situation seriously when Leona and Idia begin questioning Malleus' and his royal status/how fit he is to rule. Why was he not concerned earlier???? If Lilia was REALLY concerned about Malleus connecting with his peers and making the most of his time at school, shouldn't he agree with them and push hard for Malleus to show up on his own???

I feel Lilia is extremely non-committal in that entire set of vignettes. One minute he's upset the dorm leaders "insinuated [skipping meetings] reflected poorly on [Malleus's] behavior", implying that Lilia disagrees with that take??? The next, he's telling Malleus off for "making excuses" and how he "ought to put more thought" into his conduct. Lilia even says that Malleus shares a fair bit of the blame and makes no effort to connect with his peers. But then when Malleus returns from a failed attempt, all Lilia does is laugh about it and not give him any proper closure or advice on what he can do better next time??? Which makes me think that all the times Lilia tries to advise Malleus now feel like just lip service. Where's the actual... I don't know, TEACHING????

That's not the only thing with Lilia. He frequently enables Malleus instead of properly showing him right from wrong (and yes, being TOO lenient is not great parenting). Instead of stopping Malleus from doing something drastic just to amuse some random ghosts that missed Halloween, Lilia joins Malleus, and this leads into the disaster that is Endless Halloween Night. He doesn't once think about how this would obviously worry the others, ESPECIALLY Silver (who legitimately got mad at Lilia for this prank)? Lilia is, quite literally, the only adult in the room and the guardian for Malleus while he's at NRC. He should know so much better than to pull off a stunt like this??? You can still have Halloween mischief, but maybe suggest something less extreme??? Or put up more of a fight when Malleus suggests it... Or be more sincere in your apology to the students you kidnapped... Something, ANYTHING.

And, worst of all, Lilia is always apologizing for or to Malleus while simultaneously also telling Malleus HE doesn't need to apologize for literally anything. Lilia tells him he doesn't need to say sorry for physically harming others, he doesn't need to say sorry for not controlling his temper, he doesn't need to say sorry for wasting his peers' time by missing meetings. Come ON, at least teach the guy to better control his emotions if you know how strong he is than allowing him to carrying on concealing?? (This feels like the kind of thing Elsa’s parents would do 💀) Malleus is NEVER held accountable for anything he does, he is constantly being coddled by Lilia as if he is an infant that needs to be shielded from any blame or fault. I think Leona really put it best when he tells Lilia that "[Malleus is] not some lost child. Quit treating him like one."

I think what made me fully realize that Lilia had gone downhill for me was when he was brought back from death by Malleus and Silver's combined love magic. What does Lilia do right after? He apologizes to Malleus. HE apologizes TO Malleus... for not realizing Malleus was lonely sooner?????? E-Excuse me???? 😭 Why is LILIA the one saying sorry when Malleus was the one intentionally hiding his own feelings??? Lilia cannot be expected to be a mind reader???? I get that maybe Lilia feels some responsibility for not accepting that others feel love for him (and therefore he denies Malleus’s affection for him) but the framing of the apology makes it come across as Lilia continuing to baby Malleus by shouldering all the blame for him after everything that happened. In turn, this is actually stunting Malleus and preventing his character from growing. This is so endlessly frustrating for me to watch OTL How's a lizard gonna learn anything if Lilia keeps creating situations in which Malleus is protected from any kind of responsibility, enables some of his prince’s worst possible aspects, and fails to teach him outside of frequent lectures about the importance of unity and understanding??? Obviously those methods aren’t working if Malleus has not changed a bit in his 3 years (which Lilia reports himself) at NRC.

For all that Lilia preaches about having Malleus expand his worldviews, Lilia sure is keeping Malleus pretty boxed in sometimes 😭 And for that... I, unfortunately, no longer enjoy him.