#can only imagine how it feels to someone on the spectrum

[andtheirmoonlight]

what on earth is this abomination i don't want it

[allpiesforourown]

every time you drop a jiuyuan post i get so excited because you get it.

i need shen jiu to be strange and obsessive about shen yuan at all times. bro can’t have a normal bone in his body when it comes to the only man in the world who is gonna coddle him but also hold him responsible in the most respectful loving way. and there’s just so many good flavors for jiuyuan… shizun! sj + disciple! sy or vice versa, both disciples, both shizuns, etc. all very scrumptious.

all this to say i really liked how you wrote them in the binghe self insert fic even if it wasn’t fully jiuyuan. your horny posting and aus and writing fill me with joy.

god bless.... thats exactly why i love jiuyuan because tbh shen yuan is one of the only people who doesnt have an extreme love or hate relationship with shen jiu and actually treats him like he'd treat any other person

Some people let sj do whatever he wanted with no consequences, which enabled him to be worse. whereas on the other end of the spectrum, those who didn't hesitate to curse him out/hurt him also pushed him into being more spiteful and angry. either way he only ended up more miserable. shen yuan is basically one of the only characters who goes "I understand shen jiu's actions, but they are still unforgivable" and i think it would drive sj insane. can you imagine

shen yuan: that was wrong of you to do

shen jiu: either kill me or shut up!!

shen yuan: ??? Why would I hurt you?? look, I understand why you did it, but that doesn't make it okay. I expect you to apologize, but i still care about you

shen jiu being treated like an actual person for the first time ever: h..huh..? I don't get it. how can you feel any way about me other than grovelling for my approval or wanting to abuse me

He would get hit with the "i'm disappointed, but I still believe in you and when you make it right, I will be here to tell you I'm proud of you." Shen Jiu would have no idea how to act. the mommy wife beam would ruin him.

also I like to believe shen jiu would act like he hates shen yuan but still be extremely defensive about him like

shen jiu: how dare he tell me what to do. apologize? me? who does he think he is, my mother?

someone: yeah he sucks-

shen jiu grabbing xiu ya: YOU TAKE THAT BACK RIGHT NOW.

[hellsitedotcom]

### Honkai Men & How They Kiss ###

Featuring Dan Heng, Blade, Jing Yuan, Aventurine.

warnings: I only started playing, so this might end up ooc; no other warnings rlly.

english isn't my native language!

''I probably won't get that invested,'' well maybe I should shut my mouth more; bone app the teeth!

DAN HENG

This can both count of just Dan Heng, or Imbibitor Lunae (if you prefer imagining him); I doubt there'd be any difference in their character, which is why I don't feel like specifying - it's up to whoever you, the reader, prefers.

Firstly, I believe that Dan Heng is someone who initiates affection more privately, less frequently or dramatically in public; You'll probably find yourself initiating the majority of your kisses with him!

But, when it does come to kissing, he's a gentle soul; Maybe not even gentle, but...hesitant of sorts. That hesitance does not come from an uncertainty regarding his feelings toward you - I'd call it a...worry, a ''fear'', of sorts.

That aside, there is something that just...makes your heart skip a beat, makes you giddy when he kisses you. Your forehead against his after a long kiss, unable to stop yourself from smiling. He's soft, gentle with his kiss.

There's no ''fleeting'' kiss with Dan Heng; he'll either kiss you properly, or not at all. Still, I can see him be someone to kiss your cheek, forehead, or palm/hand - but rather in private than in public!

While some people might see him that way, I personally do not see him as someone who is ''aggressive'' or ''intense'' in a sexual sense during kissing (might also be my aroace ass speaking, idk) - sure, maybe kisses might turn into a slightly heated make out session, but nothing ''extreme''.

When it comes to what kisses he loves, I believe he would enjoy kisses on the cheek, though there is nothing he loves more than feeling your lips on his.

BLADE

I've only met him briefly in-game yet (only now finished the quest w/ the Xianzhou and heading to Penacony), so...I'll try my best, lol.

Before I got into the game again & read some more about him, my initial thought was that he'd be a ''possessive'' person, but I highly doubt that (or kinda...refuse to think that? I dunno), and I'd say he can be...a little of a wildcard?

While I can see him be a ferocious, ''aggressive'' kisser on some occasions, I do believe he can also be found on the other end of the spectrum.

Blade's kisses can be intense, demanding almost, biting down on your lip and clearly asserting dominance while kissing you, making you struggle to keep your balance; He'll whisper to you, speak under his breath while you can barely catch your breath.

Then there's the other end of the spectrum, when his kisses almost seem...fragile? Absent? Like he's...not fully there, or not fully himself. He'll not be one to initiate much affection during this time, which is also how you know that something's currently not right with him.

Last, there are the ''normal'' kisses - no aggression and demand behind them, yet they aren't absent either. A normal, brief kiss that only you can really tell the genuine emotion behind, since to most people Blade's expression would indicate he'd much rather be somewhere else.

When it comes to receiving kisses, I don't think he generally has a preference there? Or would even be big on receiving kisses specifically? At least behind close doors I can see him be someone who'd much rather have you hug him or hold him.

JING YUAN

Ah, Alejandro Saab my beloved; I didn't think I'd love the guy this much when I first started playing, lol.

A confident man indeed, especially when it comes to the love you two share, for your relationship. His genuine admiration and adoration for you are evident to most people, though he knows when to be subtle or act in a way that hides his emotions.

Jing Yuan can be a tease, though mostly behind close doors; He'll have you close, his arm around your waist, his lips hovering above yours, yet he refuses to kiss you, watching you grow impatient as he pulls away anytime you want to close the distance.

When he does kiss you, he does so with passion. His kisses are on the more sensual side, leaving you breathless and longing for more. He'll have you completely undone after just a short makeout session, leaving you with a wink and teasing smirk on his lips.

In private, when you are alone, away from responsibilities and work, when he has time to think, to remember the past...that smirk might still be present whenever you want his attention, but it feels fake. During those times, whenever he'll reach for you to kiss or hold you, he'll be lost in his own thoughts, though you always help him feel grounded, and guide him back to the present.

He doesn't mind initiating affection in public either, though he does...behave himself more, lol; He'll kiss your cheek or the palm of your hand while at a commission, and you can also find him holding your waist when you're out in public - or allowing you to hold onto his arm.

Jing Yuan is also someone that just enjoys quality time; on those rare occasions when you two can relax and cuddle, there is nothing he enjoys more than napping in your arms; And, yes, he loves those sleepy kisses during those times, or in the early morning when you just woke up.

When it comes to your kisses, he prefers soft pecks on his forehead, or all over his face while you are cuddling - though there is nothing he loves more than having you play with his hair while you're cuddling/he's napping.

AVENTURINE

I've not met him yet, but he reminds me of an OC I have, which is why I automatically liked him, lol.

I want to say that he'd flaunt you around, be dramatic about your relationship, but I'm not sure that'd be a smart move, and I'm sure he'd be aware of that...anyway, he's someone that certainly makes love exciting.

He's even worse than Jing Yuan when it comes to his teasing smirk; Yet, he won't really be a tease, but rather more playful in his affection? Randomly slide up to you, twirl you close, brush his lips over yours while talking low before spinning you and then pressing a kiss to your lips, or dipping you and kissing your neck.

Definitely not one to shy away from being affectionate, though it is more on the casual-seeming side in the way he portrays it; He doesn't make a big fuss out of it - kissing you feels like it comes natural to him.

There were moments in which you were laying in his arms and you tried to steer the calm atmosphere in a more serious direction, though that only works up to a certain point with him and then he'll kiss you energetically to distract from that; also enjoys tickling you, but that's another thing.

His kisses vary in their kind; sometimes, they are brief and playful, while other times they are energetic and passionate, and so on. What is it called? A jack of all trades, though that figure of speech isn't entirely accurate, lol.

His public displays of affection are just as unpredictable as his affection in private; sometimes, he does not mind being affectionate around you, though he knows how to judge a situation well enough to hold back, or completely refrain from touching you.

When it comes to receiving affection, he's definitely obsessed with you just showering his face in kisses, sitting on his lap while he holds you close; or when you are cuddling and you just keep pressing kisses to his neck/throat/behind his ear.

[I have a Genshin version for some Men & Women, too]

[drdemonprince]

The word “vanilla” comes up a lot in your writing and it’s always with negative connotations.

I fully accept that my own reactions to it are my responsibility alone and no one is making me feel a certain way. But I do wonder if there are ways to have conversations around sexuality that don’t elevate one kind of sex over another in a demeaning way that make vanilla sex almost a running joke.

As someone with pretty severe sexual trauma history for me even having enjoyable vanilla sex is pushing boundaries. To actually be able to initiate, seek out and enjoy sex of any kind has been challenging.

The increased use and acceptance of vanilla as a derogatory term is unfortunate I think as it invalidates the experiences of many sa survivors and makes it feel like sex is only valid if it’s kinky.

In saying that having lots of friends in the kink/fet scene I know they’ve fought really hard to not have their sexual preferences demonized.

So I do understand.

I just wish my preferences weren’t always made out to be boring and dull, and thereby made me boring and dull.

This seems especially prevalent in queer spaces.

I think one of the biggest problems in how people conceive of diverse sexualities is by attempting to place all sex acts upon a single spectrum from "extremely kinky" to "tame." Under this framework, activities like PIV and oral are viewed as neutral precursors to the more racier and extreme forms of sex that a person must "work themselves up" to -- and this obscures that those supposedly neutral sexual activities can be both incredibly exciting to some, and downright disturbing and traumatizing to others.

I am also harmed by this and have written about it on this blog quite a lot.

Like you, I am harmed by the presumption that PIV, fingering, and oral are neutral sexual acts that are lower on the intensity spectrum than things like being slapped or choked. I find receiving oral to be far more intense, triggering, dysphoric, and disturbing than anything in the rape play/primal/dub con/intoxication/hypnosis realm that I enjoy -- because I like and want those things, and I do not want oral.

My problem with oral isn't that it's "boring." It's that it is fucking traumatic for me.

I also find completely un-kinky sex in general to be profoundly alienating and triggering in most instances.

I am harmed by the idea that PIV and oral are more benign, neutral forms of sex, just as you are.

I need language to articulate that the sex acts that most people view as the default are in fact alienating and disturbing to me *as a sexual assault survivor*. In fact, the most common form of sexual assault that I have experienced has been people forcing non-kinky sex on me that they assumed I had to be game for, since I liked the stuff on the more "intense" side of their imagined spectrum.

The cishet, nonkinky world has already created terminology for the views around sex that create these problems, and that's "vanilla." And so I use "no vanilla" to broadcast that I want absolutely nothing to do with anyone who holds that worldview.

I don't think expressing my boundaries (which people repeatedly and forcefully attempt to trample over in all sexual spaces, including kinky ones!) is me derogating people who do not share my kinks. I don't think I'm hurting anyone by rejecting the dominant viewpoint of society. And for what it's worth, I will reiterate again, I don't think people are boring for liking non-kinky sex.

I think that we all benefit from unpacking our assumptions surrounding what sex is or can be, and for many sexual assault survivors it is immensely healing to take pre-written societal expectations surrounding sex off the table.

It's not inherently kinky to reimagine what sexual pleasure might look like, I suppose, but anyone who is doing that kind of deep reflective and interpersonal work is already taking steps to liberate themselves from the cishet power structure that gave us the notion of obligatory "vanilla" sex.

I think that instead of feeling like the term "vanilla" is a thing that you have to defend, you might be better served by simply defending your own right to define your sexuality in whatever ways you choose.

People who are having weird hypnosis fantasy sex are not sneering at you for enjoying what you enjoy. We want you to be free and at ease in your body. What we're sneering at, when we criticize "vanilla," are the dictates that a person must have sex in a certain way, that some forms of sex are more neutral than others, and that we OWE sexual partners certain activities and sexual responses.

"Vanilla" sexual values and assumptions are the enemy of all sexual assault survivors. You don't have to be interested in any remotely freaky shit in order to benefit from us all collectively destroying the notion that certain forms of sex are the default that we owe to people. We ALL benefit from being able to reject the sex acts we do not like as loudly and proudly as we want.

[justporo]

Okay but like have you thought about how it would be for an Astarion to have a partner that lets him indulge? Truly indulge! Of course it needs to be pleasant and comfortable for both sides. But I love to imagine him with a partner that allows him to rediscover what he enjoys, lets him experience.

A partner that lets him not want sex as much as the other way around as well. Someone that lets him explore all ends of the spectrum and everything in between, so he can slowly build a sense of self now that he's free to choose - and above all. feel, without being tortured or shamed for it.

Maybe he enjoys taking control on some nights, delighting in tieing Tav up so he will not be touched. Maybe another it's the thought of yielding all control to the person he trusts like no over - maybe not even himself. Another time he just doesn't want sex, maybe not even cuddle, only quietly spend time together. But then there might also be moments where he can barely contain himself, where he asks Tav to leave a party they attended early because he needs to have them, all night, and all for himself in every kind of way imaginable.

Do you think about that? Because I do more than is probably sane.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for sabotaging my husband's relationships?

CW for discussions about sex, but I wouldn't say it's NSFW

In my country, arranged marriages are very common and this was how I (24F) got married with "Jason" (24M) (note that I said ARRANGED marriages, not FORCED marriages. An arranged marriage is basically when your family plays matchmaker with you and someone else, but it isn't forced). It's important to say I never wanted to get married and am for sure placed somewhere in the ace spectrum, because sex was never something important to me. But I knew Jason since we were kids and he was always nice to me, so I accepted to spend some time with him and see where it would go.

Turns out Jason and I had a lot in common. Our country is pretty religious, but neither of us saw that much importance in religion and just pretended to our families to not cause problems. We are both more on the introvert side and don't like crowds or big family reunions. When I told him about my feelings about sex and sexuality, he was sweet and understanding. We ended up becoming good friends and it was obvious the idea of marrying each other seemed appealing for us.

So we got married two years ago. We made a deal to be basically good friends who are married, to not have sex and sleep in different rooms. He was allowed to sleep with whoever he wanted since he was not getting this from me. Everything was perfectly fine.

Our families, however, really started to pressure us to have children this last year. Since this was so important to them, we agreed to, well, try. But first I asked him to make an STI exam since he had his fair share of casual sex and, even though he reassured me he always used protection, I wouldn't feel safe otherwise. After the exam showed he was clean, we had our first time together and it was great. Way better than I could ever imagine. After that, he noticed I liked it and asked if sex was in the equation of our relationship now. I said yes.

This was a few months ago and since then we've been having sex pretty regularly, but we also started to spend more time together outside of that, and I think my feelings of friendship for Jason are starting to change. Not only that, but I started to feel jealous of his casual relationships, especially his affair with this "Anna" girl (20sF) who he's been seeing regularly for the past months. I'm scared he starts to fall in love with her, because he always speaks highly of her and he seems to like her.

So I kinda started to sabotage his dates with her and other girls, in a way? I pretend to have headaches, to feel sick or sad or any other excuse so he has to stay with me instead of go see them. I know it's childish and maybe I should just talk to him about it, but I'm so scared he doesn't feel the same and things get weird between us. It's not like we can escape each other.

AITA?

[honeyhotteoks]

Hi ^^ I know you don't do requests but idk if this qualifies as one, so feel free not to answer this if you don't want to BUT:

Since you put so much thought into analyzing ATEEZ when you write your fics, would you mind giving a brief rundown of where you think they fall on the dom/switch/sub spectrum?

omg great question and i do not mind at all!! thank you for asking~

thoughts on this can be found under the cut, but a little disclaimer at the top — i am only providing my headcanons, that doesn’t mean i’m right or that your interpretation of one of the members as something else is incorrect. i would say this mostly informs how i think they probably are and how i write their characters in my fic, but it definitely is just me playing around in the imagination sandbox please don’t take offense!

also when we talk dorm/sub/switch, i want to be clear that as someone familiar with actual bdsm dynamics, these terms are thrown around pretty liberally and far too often. by that i mean, someone who’s a little bossy during sex doesn’t automatically equal a ‘dom’ in the proper sense and may not be comfortable with that term. however, for the fun purposes of my fic and this ask, we’re going to explore theses terms with the idea that the members could have the potential for it, not necessarily that this is what they are actively doing / engaging in.

alright…… hard thoughts below for each member including headcanon, kink list, and what pet names you call him/he calls you. i’ll happily dive into more into any of the thoughts below, feel free to send me an ask.

one last note - i use the terms man, woman, fem presenting, masc presenting, etc. but i want to be clear i try to be very trans inclusive and queer inclusive in general. while i write the boys always in a relationship with a fem presenting reader because i am a cis woman, that does not mean i am saying they as individuals are heterosexual and only attracted to cis women. i have no idea, this is fiction, and i’d never presume their actual real life sexuality so strongly. however, i am more comfortable writing from my perspective, so if you see that in my work or in my headcanons below please understand it’s not to be exclusionary i’m probably just navel gazing a bit too much. in the pet names section i do stick to things like ‘good girl’ etc. that may imply sexuality but that’s mostly as a representation of my own writing canon.

hongjoong - switch, leaning dominant;

hongjoong to me is such a switch, but i think he takes naturally towards the dominant role. i think a lot of people mistake his demon line stage presence for like…. crazy hard dom though and i could not disagree more. i think he’s actually more the type to switch up based on his partner’s needs and wants, but most often and most comfortably fills a dom role. however, in this dom role i see him far more as a service dom or soft dom, i don’t think with what we know about hongjoong as a person and how he interacts with the world around him he would be much of a hard dom that actually wanted to inflict hard rules or even dip into sadism. the most i could see is when his partner is being bratty or when he’s playfully jealous he would spank a bit or use teasing words to get his partner to say something in response. i think all in all, he’s the type to want to make his partner feel good, but he enjoys being in control and would want to give his partner instructions as a natural leader in that way. he could give up control to the right person, but i just think that’s a little less natural for him.

kinks -> brat taming, praise and degradation used interchangeably, overstimulation, voyeurism, voice kink, guided masturbation, toys toys toys, exhibitionism (he’s putting the lush in you at dinner that’s all i’m saying)

call him -> baby, joong, sir (playfully, less strict), daddy (to tease him he’ll tell you to stop but you can see he kind of likes it)

calls you -> darling, baby, honey, love, gorgeous

seonghwa - switch, gender dependent;

seonghwa is so interesting to me because i feel like his potential suits the whole spectrum. i have written him many different ways and see him many different ways, and so often it feels right, he’s a true chameleon. that’s why i think he is a switch, but i’m saying gender dependent because i think he likely takes more naturally to one direction depending on the gender presentation of the partner he is with. no hard and fast rules here, obviously everyone is unique, but as a general rule i’d say that with women/fem presenting people he skews more dominant, and with men/masc presenting people he skews more submissive. that being said, exceptions exist and i could see him going either way on that sliding scale dependent on partner. i would say for submisssive he would be the type to service, begging to pleasure his partner and enjoying the total submission of that headspace, potentially even enjoying some elements of restraint or pain on himself. for his dominant side, i think out of anyone in ateez he has the true potential for hard dom sadist, though that would require a partner to match him in intensity. i think he would excel in role playing and slipping into a true dominant persona, controlling his submissive entirely (within the bedroom and perhaps a little outside it), and would be able to manage the intense dynamics of sadomasochism well from delivering pain to exploring limits to very tender aftercare.

kinks -> sadomasochism, impact play, breath play, sensory deprivation (blindfolds, headphones), restraints (of all kinds), guided masturbation/instruction, rough sex, throat fucking, breeding, lactation, heels, exhibitionism, voyeurism

call him -> baby, hwa, love, sir or master (for hard scenes), daddy/mommy (roleplay scenes specifically)

calls you -> jagiya, darling, love, angel, sweet girl, good girl, my baby, my babygirl, pretty thing, pet (for hard scenes), mommy (when he’s subbing or when he’s playing into breeding kink as a dom)

yunho - dominant, soft dom with hard dom potential;

first of all, this man is my ult bias and i could write a novel about this, i’m trying to restrain myself. if anyone wants unfettered yunho thoughts lmk…… but truly, and i will die on this hill, while the sub yunho agenda is cute i just do not buy it. this man is 100% dominant, it’s just a question of where he falls on that dominance scale. i think there’s a lot of evidence for this that i can get into in a separate post, but my headcanon is that he’s a classic soft dom at least as a baseline. he’s the kind of dom who considers himself a guiding hand to his submissive. he’s caring, thoughtful, always anticipating needs and clearing the path for his submissive, and in bed that means he’s providing all of the opportunities for his submissive to explore within the safe bounds of his control. however, with the right person i think he has the real potential to reach hard dom levels where he is experimenting with degradation, some amount of pain play (though i do think full sadism is a bit far for him), bondage and control, and playing with pleasure from a denial and overstim angle. he’s also very clearly traditional in many aspects, and while i am not sitting here saying that means he’s sexist (absolutely not) i do think that means he would be turned on by more traditional elements. i.e. his partner in skirts, heels, lingerie, etc. i think with the right partner that also opens up his ability to play with different kinks and dynamics that might fall into that like free use, breeding, etc.

kinks -> rigging/shibari, edging/orgasm denial, pleasure/overstimulation, praise, degradation, breeding and pregnancy, impact play (spanking), restraints (mostly body weight or ropes), free use, fingering (his hands are we fr), if giving head is a kink then consider him a wet pussy enjoyer this man has an oral fixation watch his tongue, omorashi, corruption, breath play, somno, cockwarming, size kink/size training, throat fucking

call him -> yunho, yunnie (when bratting), baby, babe, sir, daddy

calls you -> baby, sweetheart, babygirl, good girl, pretty/pretty girl, pup/puppy (this is self indulgent don’t look at me), all variations with ‘my’ i.e. my pretty girl

yeosang - dominant, pleasure dom/service dom;

yeosang to me is such a sleeper dom. i think he’s hard to read in general, but after years of paying attention to him as i tried to write him, to me he really reads as more of a dominant in a sexual relationship, but definitely from the pleasure/service side of things. i don’t know that he would want to really control aspect’s of his submissive’s life outside the bedroom or perceive himself necessarily to be some kind of guiding figure or punishing figure, but i do think he would relish in giving his submissive pleasure and relief. i think yeosang would want to be the type of partner his submissive could just collapse into at the end of the day and receive whatever kind of care they need. he’s quietly making tea, he’s reminding you to drink your water, he’s easing you into bed with a massage and letting you forget the day as he takes care of you completely. i think in some extremes that leads to him not even really thinking about his own pleasure, he seeks to service his partner and that alone makes him happy. i can see him being the kind of dom who teases a little, but from a kind angle, and just knowing how soft and innocent ateez members perceive him to be, i don’t think there would be much room for meanness or pain with him.

kinks -> edging (cutely), overstimulation / pleasure play, lots of toys with him, guided masturbation / instructions, voyeurism, lingerie, heels, nylons, cockwarming, nipple play, body worship, oral (giving)

call him -> baby, yeosangie/sangie, yeo, sir (when he’s guiding)

calls you -> baby, sweetheart, my love, my girl, honey

san - dominant, soft dom, pleasure lean;

this man is a giver. i cannot express this enough, which is why i added the pleasure lean. i actually think he’s quite similar to yunho in the sense that he’s rather traditional, and within the bounds of at least a het relationship, would take his position as the man of the relationship very seriously. yunho and san both are the types of guys who would spoil their partner, and like being the caretaker, however i think in san’s case he would enjoy the pleasure angle far more than anything else and would not be comfortable with engaging in harder aspects of play with his partner. i truly think if you watch the way he caretakes it’s much softer, and if you listen to the way he speaks about women it’s far more from the angle of protector. my gut says you’d have to convince this man to spank you, so just naturally he falls into the soft dom role of guiding hand plus pleasure dom where he’s focused heavily on delivering pleasure and guiding his submissive through that pleasurable experience. i think he’s the type to set up a really romantic scene - rose petals on the bed, warm bath, champagne, etc. and just worship his partner for hours on end. he of course is going to fuck his partner eventually, but good god does he want to just spend so long touching and massaging and getting every little ounce of pleasure out of them first.

kinks -> body worship, oil/wax, pleasure/overstimulation, breeding, praise, anal, if fingering is a kink he’s got it he wants to see you squirt, cuckholding, voyerism, exhibitionism (light, the thought someone might hear not see necessarily)

call him -> sannie, san, baby, daddy (when the time is right)

calls you -> jagi/jagiya, yeobo (when married), honey, love, darling, sweetheart, my babygirl (casually, cutely), my girl, my wife, etc.

mingi - switch, gender dependent with a sub lean;

mingi… mingi… mingi. this man is such a mystery and yet wears his heart on his sleeve. similar to seonghwa i say he’s a switch but it kind of depends on the gender presentation of his partner. i think you can see this in the ways mingi interacts with the world. with women in general i see him turn on the swagger, and lean at least on the surface a bit more dominant, i could see him slotting into the role of taking the lead quite easily. with men, particularly with yunho though, you can see that he gets much softer, whinier, giggly, and truly has the potential to be submissive. my real guess is that he is a submissive leaning person regardless of gender, but it comes more naturally to him with a man (especially one as obviously dominant as yunho), that being said, with the right female/fem presenting partner, i think he could easily be submissive there too if that partner was properly leading the situation. i could see him being the begging type, pleading with his dominant to service them, and happy to really let himself sink into that headspace. but if he’s with a partner that needs him to step up and take the lead, i think he’d happily do that too which is why i think he’s very switchy.

kinks -> body worship, impact play (spanking specifically), throat fucking (giving and receiving), sensory deprivation, anal, oral (ride his face), lactation, humiliation

call him -> baby, babe, sweet boy, good boy, baby boy, and any variation with “my”, plus we all know princess is in there.

calls you -> babe, cutie, sweetheart (rare, if he’s feeling mega tender), goddess (when subbing), mommy (when super subbing)

wooyoung - true switch;

this man is the switchiest switch i’ve ever seen and i cannot accept anything less. he’s such a brat, but i want to emphasize that i think that means he could be bratty from either the dom or sub position and it’s entirely dependent on his partner. i think wooyoung is the type that bends himself for someone else to be accommodating, and honestly i see a lot of myself in him and vice versa, and we have very similar star charts so stay with me here. i don’t mean that in a negative way of course, but what i think wooyoung excels at is reading people and adjusting to their needs, so i think this would translate into the bedroom too. i think he’s the type to step up and lead if needed but the minute his partner takes a firmer hand he’s letting that shit roll and seeing where it goes. it makes him exceptionally fun to write tbh. i think wooyoung when being more dominant would be the teasing type, making playful fun of his partner while he delivers pleasure, almost goading them into coming. and i think when being submissive he rolls right into whining - the type to beg to come but listen attentively if their partner wanted to edge him. i think would be the perfect match for another switch because they could constantly be dynamic shifting and changing together and really explore so many aspects of themselves that way.

kinks -> oral (giving and receiving and make it messy), impact play (he’ll deliver a little spank but he’ll cum if you slap his cheek), visible cum (i.e. cumming on his partner / marking his partner), marking/claiming bruises and bites, cuckholding, pet play

call him -> baby, babe, wooyoung (but whiny lmao), honey, my boyfriend/fiance/husband (he likes the titles)

calls you -> babe (whiny af), baby, my love (when he’s feeling emo), pretty girl, babygirl, darling (when he’s teasing you), my girl (all the time he’s obsessed)

jongho - dominant, soft dom with hard dom potential;

in the same way that yunho and san read traditional to me, so does jongho. again, not in a problematic way, but in the way that he takes a dominant position in the relationship and seeks a partner who wants that kind of care. while i think all three of them would want a parter who is very dominant/in control in aspects of their career etc., i think being that person’s safe space to give up control is something they all want. so in that way, jongho reads truly dominant to me and is one of the only members of ateez to give the potential for hard dom, again, depending on his partner’s needs. i think he also acts as the guiding hand, he’s traditional in that he likes to pay for things etc., and would ultimately engage in softer aspects of control in the bedroom. however, if his partner really responded well to things like punishment and stricter guidelines, i think he would excel as a hard dom. i can really see him having a partner crawl to him, be waiting submissively on their knees for him, allow him to use them / benefit from actual punishment like counting spanks etc. and so generally i think while he may not need this kind of a relationship, if his partner did he would rise really well to that occasion because it comes more naturally.

kinks -> lingerie, nylons, impact play, breath play, free use, creampies, visible cum (marking with his cum), restraints (silks, cuffs, body weight), sensory deprivation, edging/overstim

call him -> babe, jjong, yeobo (if married), sir (for hard dom play)

calls you -> darling, babygirl, pretty, sweetheart, my love, yeobo, precious girl (during play)

[dark-dragon-8]

In case you guys couldn't tell, Dick Grayson, AKA Nightwing, is my favorite DC character. Specifically because I can just write/imagine him however way I want, within the realm of (fanon) reason, and someone will agree with me/there's already a fic about it.

Want to read about a murderous character? Nightwing has once killed the Joker and (as far as I know) didn't regret it. Not to mention Renegade also exists (along with former Talon AU, secret/resolved "killer" AU, where he kills but doesn't tell anyone, and more minor ones as well) and there are several fics where he takes on that alias in order to deal with some "unfinished business" regarding his family.

Want to read about an undercover character using their looks and flirting to their benefits (and having the attention of everyone at the bar by simply existing and being hot)? I have read so many undercover Dick Grayson that wore the sluttiest outfits just to get info. Even read a few where he did it to make his siblings (mainly Jason) more comfortable since they weren't comfortable with it yet that was his forte (regardless of whether or not he liked doing that as well).

Looking for a rich (kinda spoiled, an act, but still lovable and amazing) Nepo baby that everyone thirsts over in the gala? Richie Wayne is right there and is the eldest Wayne/heir, that's bound to cause some drama at parties/Galas (esp with protective Batfam) and I love that (please give me more fics like that, I can barely find any).

Want a badass vigilante that can beat the absolute life out of criminals and defeat Batman with relative ease? Nightwing is one of the strongest members of the Batfam, if I remember correctly he even defeated Cassandra/an opponent equal to Cassandra before.

Want to read an angst filled story about a character that feels like they're being objectified all the time and just wants a break? Do I even have to say it?

Want a character study about how the annoyed/stubborn/exhausted guy from the comics turned into an "attention whore" on fics? I remember reading (and even writing) character studies where Dick is suffering from stuff such as hypersexuality and anxiety issues where he needs people to see/notice/pay attention to him as a result of his sexual trauma (the assault & other stuff he went through).

And so much more. The duality of that man, when a character has such a variety of interpretations and ways to write about them it just fills that writer/storyteller/reader in me with joy. That complex potential that I seek in characters, like being able to kill someone while also being a hero loved by the hero community, a celebrity loved by the world and a few beyond it, a spoiled rich kid when he likes to indulge himself and a victim that has suffered through so much, it's natural to give them different ways (separation anxiety, exhibitionism, aversion to touch, etc) to cope and deal with the horrible hand that was given to them. It's just something that is very rare to come across in a character, especially one so well known and loved for all of those different things rather than only one or two of them taking over the entire character and its interpretation, and I really love Nightwing for being that character for both writers and readers looking for somethings and finding all they could ask for and more in just a singular tag (ofc I know the other characters have a variety as well, Dick just has such a big variety and his "spectrum" is so big, vast and versatile, he has a piece of the fandom for everything, like a bunch of different characters smacked into one, all sharing the same name, it's why I chose him specifically and why I love reading about him the most specifically).

[whatudowhennooneseesyou]

𝙆𝙞𝙣𝙠𝙩𝙤𝙗𝙚𝙧 2024: 𝙐𝙣𝙫𝙚𝙞𝙡𝙚𝙙

Pairing: Choi Jongho x fem!reader

Word Count: 1.6 K

Tags include: Asexual!Jongho, 'first time', reader loses virginity but not in the way you expect, kissing, praise, service dom Jongho, oral (fem receiving), fingering (fem receiving), spooning, nipple play, aftercare, use of toys, so sweet and fluffy it's cavity-inducing

Giving was Jongho's love language.

He loved to give, flowers, cuddles, jewellery, never-ending orgasms, nothing was ever too much.

Recently, you decided to let him give you your first sexual experience.

And it was never anything you'd expected or imagined before.

Placiosexual: A micro-label on the asexual spectrum defined as someone who enjoys performing sexual acts for other individuals but does not want them to be reciprocated.

WELCOME TO KINKTOBER 2024!!!

Lingering eyes trailed your body as Jongho's hands traced over your bare skin, his fingers like soft petals as he worshipped your body, your beauty and who you meant to him.

'You are so beautiful my dear, so beautiful I can't describe it or put into words'

Jongho's eyes were filled with endearment as he gazed upon your bare body, his gaze attentive and sincere as his hands trailed up the planes of your thighs.

'You can't just say things like to me, I'll blush and get all giggly and I'm trying to remain calm here'

The light-hearted quip was on purpose, trying to match his level of calm but you were failing immensely whilst his flushed chest and slightly glazed eyes were the only sign this moment had any impact on him.

'But I like it when you blush and get all giggly'

Jongho's soft words were spoken as he leaned down and placed kisses along your hip bone and pubic mound, his strong hands anchoring your thighs to the mattress.

'I can't help it, it makes me feel good knowing I'm the one who makes all those little giggles come out of you'

His nose nuzzles against your pubic hair and your skin prickles and breath quickens in the anticipation of what's to come.

You felt his tongue lick over your labia and your eyes fluttered close at the feeling, a gasp of surprise leaving your throat.

'And it makes me feel good knowing I can control these noises you make as well'

A kiss was pressed to your clit before he slid the tip of his tongue in your entrance, gathering your wetness before using it to help slide his tongue up to your clit and flicking the underside before sucking it into his mouth, the softness of his moans only enhancing the pleasure of it.

Jongho ate you out at a slow and leisurely pace, as if there wasn't a finishing line or a means to an end.

Which in his case, there wasn't.

And your mind wandered and eyes fluttered shut as he pleasured you, your hands wandering to your breasts and cupping them, feeling how sensitive your nipples still were from the attention Jongho paid to them earlier.

There never was anything to return with the love Jongho gave you, it just wasn't needed and there were times where the concept was still difficult to understand.

How can he give so much and never expect to receive it back?

'You taste so good my dear, like the sweetest honey' Jongho remarked, giving one final suck to your clit before pulling away.

Your eyes opened to the sound of the lubricant cap opening, his gaze laced with concentration as he drizzled some of the warming liquid onto his fingers.

'I want to stretch you with my fingers before you take me, is that okay?'

You nodded and a quick 'yeah' was your response as your body flinched when his fingers touched your entrance, your body wound tight with the need to release.

'You're doing so well, want to make you feel as comfortable as possible, want you to cum for me'.

The sensation of his tongue back on your clit caused you to whine under Jongho's touch, his tongue rolling circles around the edge as he inserted one finger, pulsing it against your g-spot for awhile before inserting another.

Jongho wasn't the most vocal man whilst pleasuring you, he was too focused on giving you the orgasm he yearned for you to have and the silence gave you leverage.

You could just watch and gaze down at the beauty of the man who was worshipping you between your legs.

How the muscles in his chest flexed with each exertion of his arm, the veins pulsing in his forearm with each curl of his fingers, his skin glowy with a slight sheen of sweat and his dark hair fringing his lashes as he ate you out with his glossy, spit-stained lips.

He was a dream, he was your living dream.

It was all too much and the warning of your impending release was strangled mid-way, finishing your orgasm against Jongho's face and with a loud moan.

You felt his fingers pull out of you and his lips trailing kisses up your body, eagerly reaching out to Jongho as you opened your eyes and pulled him to you, feeling his briefs scratch against your sensitive skin- noticing how he wasn't aroused or hard at all.

'You sounded so sweet my dear' Jongho praised you breathlessly between kisses as he hovered over you, his hand rubbing your side.

'it's like music, I assume it was good for you then?'

'You know it's always good' You teased in between kisses, running your fingers in his hair and tasting yourself on his tongue.

'Seriously though, I'm ready' You pulled away to look at him, cupping your face with his hands and giving Jongho your sincerest gaze.

'I want to do this with you, I can't imagine having my first time with anyone else'

You could see the shift in Jongho's persona as his face turned serious and his eyes became misty, his bottom lip pouting slightly before clearing it.

He nuzzled his face against your right palm, supporting it with his other hand as he kissed your palm.

'It's an honour my dear, I'm going to make sure you feel nothing but the sheer love and happiness I have for you'.

A final kiss was pressed to your nose, then to your forehead before Jongho passed you the water bottle that was on the bedside stand, unscrewing the cap and leaving it before giving it to you.

'Sip some of this and relax while I get ready, you've got to keep yourself hydrated'

You nodded and gazed at the wall in front of you, taking the smallest tips of water as you attempted to ground yourself and prepare whilst hearing Jongho rummage through the bedside drawer.

Noticing Jongho's lack of arousal brought you back to earth in understanding how unconventional your first time was going to be, how you weren't going to be losing your virginity to a 'real' penis per say.

You see, Jongho was never a man who desired for a sexual connection, those carnal desires removed from his thoughts and body entirely.

He loved pleasuring you, kissing you, holding you, tasting you and praising you because that's HIS way of showing you how he cared for you, how he adored you.

And knowing that he was responsible for how happy and satisfied you are is enough for him to walk with you to the moon and back.

But it meant he just never got an erection or 'turned on' no matter what the situation was and so you had to negotiate how to pursue losing your virginity to other means.

Which led to the freshly cleaned and sanitised flesh-coloured dildo that Jongho was holding right now.

You remember the conversation with Jongho as you looked absent-mindedly at it, it was slightly below average length with a vein carved on the side.

It was simple but perfect for this start of your journey, the beginning of your sexual 'debut' so to say.

'Can you turn over for me?'

Jongho spoke as he gently positioned you into a half- shifted spooning position, your back pressed against his chest but your pelvis was still mostly on the bed.

'I don't want you to look down there as I take you okay? I want you to keep your eyes on me, I want to watch every single expression on your face as I look after you'

You murmured out something affirmative as Jongho cupped your face and kissed you gently with his free hand.

It was easy to understand why he mentioned that from the way he chose for you to be in a spooning position, rather than missionary or the way he had hid the towel behind him that had the dildo, clitoral vibrator and warming lubricant all ready to go.

He wanted to divulge in the fantasy of it being as realistic as possible for you, for you to not see the 'mechanics' of it but just focus on the feeling and experience itself.

And there was nothing wrong with that, sure this wasn't the most 'conventional' way to experience your first time but it was even better.

Because it meant your first time wasn't about 'losing' anything, it's about gaining trust, intimacy, pleasure, empowerment and so much more.

And you couldn't trust anyone more than Jongho to share with and gain all these feelings and experiences.

'I'm ready Jongho, I want this, I REALLY want this'

Jongho sighed in relief and you could feel his body becoming more relaxed, it felt like he was nervous just as much as you were.

'I want this too my dear, more than anything I've ever dreamed off in my whole life'.

He hitched your elevated leg up and crooked your knee so it was angled towards your waist,

'Hold it'

You held onto your thigh and kept your leg spread open as Jongho reached behind him, his pelvis angled behind yours and his supporting arm nestled under your breasts as he cradled you to him.

He handed you the clitoral vibrator and that's when you realised that you really were about to embrace this new experience and it made you nervous in anticipation as it caused your breath to stagger.

'Hey' Jongho spoke soothingly into your hair, placing a kiss against your temple.

'It's just me okay? It's just us. You don't have to be afraid, we'll just take this as slow as possible and if you want to stop, we'll stop okay? I'll take care of you'

'I know you will Jongho' You smiled in reassurance, pressing a light kiss on his chest for affirmation 'You always do'

He politely grabbed your hand with the vibrator in it and trailed it down to your clit, resting it against your mound.

'Turn it on and keep it at the lowest setting, it'll help with the stretch'

A soft gasp filled the air as the vibrator moved on your clit, your body already sensitive and pleasure building in your core.

'That's what I like to see' Jongho whispered before kissing you again with fever, 'I'm going to put it in now okay?'

You hummed 'okay' in between kisses, stopping mid-breath as you gasped at the intrusion 'Ohmygaww-'

Jongho paused, his forehead resting gently against yours, his breath steady as he whispered words of reassurance. "You're doing so well, baby," he murmured, his voice filled with awe and care. "Just relax... let me take care of you."

You felt yourself melting into his embrace, trusting him with every inch of your body and soul. The initial shock of the stretch slowly gave way to a warm, intense pleasure. Jongho’s arm remained strong around you, his presence anchoring you through every moment.

“Breathe with me,” he instructed softly, his lips brushing against your ear. His free hand moved gently, never rushing, always making sure you were comfortable.

You followed his lead, focusing on his steady rhythm. Every small movement brought a new wave of sensation, but his tender kisses and whispered praises made it easier to relax, to give in to the trust and intimacy you shared.

After a few minutes or so, Jongho would tell you to increase the vibrator by one setting and the medium level buzz on your clit was hurling you to your orgasm more quickly.

“Look at you,” he muttered against your skin, “you’re perfect like this. I can’t believe how lucky I am.” His words held a mixture of love, admiration, and deep, almost reverent desire. You could feel the passion he had for you in the way he held you, cherished you.

After what felt like a blissful eternity, Jongho finally slowed his movements, sensing the height of your pleasure building to its peak. He guided you through the moment, grounding you as your body trembled against his.

“I’ve got you,” he whispered, kissing your forehead softly. “Just let go.”

And with that, you did. Your release came in a wave, shaking through you as he held you close, cradling you through every breathless moment. Jongho stayed there, pressing his lips to your temple, murmuring sweet nothings as the intensity faded.

As the tremors of pleasure subsided, he gently withdrew, carefully easing you back down to earth. Jongho was immediately by your side, pulling you into his chest, wrapping you in the warmth of his arms.

“How do you feel?” he asked, his voice tender and soft. His fingers brushed through your hair, his touch grounding and soothing.

You sighed contentedly, nestling into his embrace. “Amazing,” you whispered. “I couldn’t have asked for anything better.”

Jongho smiled, pressing another kiss to your forehead. “You were incredible. I’m so proud of you.”

The two of you lay there in comfortable silence for a while, the weight of the moment still lingering between you. Jongho didn’t rush to move or break the intimacy; instead, he held you closer, his hand drawing slow circles on your back.

“Thank you for trusting me,” he finally said, his voice filled with emotion. “You mean everything to me.”

You looked up at him, your heart swelling with love and gratitude. “I trust you more than anyone, Jongho. I wouldn’t have wanted this with anyone else.”

He smiled down at you, his eyes soft with affection. “And I’ll always be here to take care of you—no matter what.”

With those final words, you curled up against him, feeling safe and cherished, the intimacy between you now stronger than ever. As you drifted off to sleep in his arms, you knew that this wasn’t just about the physical connection; it was about the love, trust, and unbreakable bond you had built together.

The soft rhythm of Jongho’s breathing lulled you into a peaceful sleep, knowing that in his arms, you had found not just passion, but home.

Note: I am not placiosexual (I'm demi so I'm technically part of the ace community but on the cusp) so I reached out to some ace moots for some advice and thank you to @darkmentalitystarfish-blog @islayhawkin for answering my questions and giving me all the notes! I hope I represented the community well and did y'all proud.

This fic is part of my lil side quest on here to help cater my fics to the asexual community who are truly underrepresented in the fanfic world.

I don't know or assume Jongho is on the spectrum but I'm just using him because he fits the ace concept so well.

Taglist: @mykryptonitelight @cursedeastern @sugarnspice630 @ja3hwa @youre-alittle-taste-of-hell @scuzmunkie @marievllr-abg @umbralhelwolf @starsareseen @lino-jagiyaa @mischiefsmind @mrcarrots @junieshohoho @gyuhanniescarat @partywithgyu @whatsk-poppinhomies @hologramhoneymoon @staytinyinmybpack @necessiteez @wooyoungmybelovedhusband @laylasbunbunny @anyamaris @krishastumblernow @hexheathen @i-love-ateez @michel-angelhoe @northerngalxy @justaaveragereader @silentreaderthings @daddysspecialdollyworld @abby-grace @wisejudgedragonhairdo @smilefordongil @writhingwrecked @hongthoven @almightyddeonghwa @planet-dawn

[aixeko]

✧.* " Feels like we had matching wounds but mine's still black and bruised and yours is perfectly fine now. " *.✧

| Starring |  Heartless-Husband!Arlecchino x Wife!Reader

| Setting | Genshin universe

| Scenario | [ SHORT FIC ] ANGST! Hurt no comfort. One sided love. Toxic relationship. Pronouns are not used, only the title “wife” is used. 

► RADIO CHANNEL [Author note] | Art credit: 雨睡 / ojiusa on Twitter

× 1/4 drabble for Arle, will span in the course of the next 3 days for her birthday. × The fic accidentally became so similar to the song by the name of "The Exit" by Conan Gray. Good grief, I love it.

[ Word count: 915 ]

Imagine how frustrating it is to fall in love with someone as emotionally detached as Arlecchino—especially considering the circumstances surrounding her past wounds and the fractured void where her heart should lie.

Not only that, Arlecchino, in no way shape or form, is an ordinary mortal; no, the woman possesses feats that still remain unbeknownst to the common folks, the fourth of the Fatui Harbinger—a woman whose power is near god-like scaling and a mastermind in the art of psychological subterfuge. To even fantasize about her reciprocating your feelings, even on the platonic spectrum, is beyond preposterous. And for one's possession of such thoughts as a commoner too? It is practically shaming the esteemed legacy of her name and the reputation she holds. It is absurdly outside the unceasing versatility of the imaginative mind; to even achieve a feat like this is not even praisable; it's pathetic. Because why would the great and infamous Arlecchino, a Harbinger feared by many, show her presence to the likes of you?

Unfortunately, for the one cold star that is the destiny your heart has followed, your relationship does have a label. A husband and a wife, but in actuality, it is simply just that, a label. The dawning reality hidden under the layers of falsehood is but a one-sided beneficial connection.

To Arlecchino, you are a mere pawn, insignificant in value and easily replaceable, to be maneuvered around the vast field of her intricately thought-out chessboard, where every single move is foreseen by her convoluted calculations to achieve her ultimate goal. She is the king with the mastery to dictate the game's outcome to her desire, and you are just one of the many disposable pieces to be sacrificed for her victory.

So why must you stay longer with the very same being that shatters your heart like breathing? Why must your heart desire her so much? Had you fallen so far that your heart dare not let her go?

"Your grace and acquiescence enchant me, rare as they are lovely. Truly, you are an obedient angel, a treasure beyond measure, a diamond among the sea of glass."

Her heavenly lies ensnare you ever so effortlessly. Was it this rare showcase of affection of "true love" that blinded you so completely?

"A Harbinger's life leaves little to no room for love. Be a dear and use that pretty little head of yours solely on obeying my orders."

Ensnared by Arlecchino's siren song, her words detain you in a state of imprisonment, alluring you into a fictitious world where each promise adds another bar and each whispers another stone. In this fabricated reality, only Arlecchino exists as the true player, leaving you with a love that never was. Was it your infatuation and utter attachment to her that blinded you to the point of abandoning your freedom ever so easily in exchange for this nonexistent, one-sided relationship?

"There are desires that you lack in fulfillment; is it wrong to seek an external party for such a minuscule problem? Your fatigue is clouding your judgment; seek your chamber; you must be tired."

How can one love be so enticing and manipulative that its power warps the mind, blinding the blatant betrayal right before your very eyes? Was it the fragility of your heart that's effortlessly puppeteered that made you forgive her?

August 22nd. Your husband's birthday has arrived. Your heart aches as you clutch the divorce in your hands. You are torn between love and sacrifice; the paper—gift holds freedom for the both of you, but despite the toxicity of it all, you can't help but be reluctant to let it all go.

You can't help but admit that it felt amazing. A part of you prayed that she would decline your proposal, that she would devote your love to you, that she would assure you of all the troubles in your relationship, and that she would make you stay.

Despite all the deeds that she has done to you, your heart still desires a delusional fantasy that chases after the farthest side of the ever-expanding cosmic, never in range for your hand to grasp.

When you settled down in her office and handed the divorce paper with a shaking hand, the words that left her mouth were so cold, so cold that you felt the temperature in your body decrease in real time.

"That noggin of yours finally concluded a proper notion, I see. Any longer, and I ought to have done the deed myself, it was about time we ended this little game of ours."

Those very words sink to the deepest part of your soul and will be anchored there for as long as you live. It was those words that dawned on you about the harsh reality that you had gotten yourself stuck in.

As if it couldn't have gone worse, shortly after you handed her the divorce papers, she announced to the world her "first" official relationship with another one who isn't you.

The truth has struck you, one with a speed faster than light. The truth of it all is that you are merely a background character, playing the role of fulfillment to make the true main character of the story shine.

The truth is that to Arlecchino, you are only one of the countless blurred encounters of passing scenes in her story.

The truth is, you are simply an invisible backdrop in the vast scenery, a pawn in a world full of kings.

[catnippackets]

disclaimer: as a sex-repulsed aroace person myself--

on one hand, there is definitely a bit of a double standard when it comes to handling canonically queer characters like, from what I've seen in the circles that I frequent (if you've had different experiences then great but I'm just telling it how I see it). for example, you're morally reprehensible if you ship a canon lesbian with a man or refer to a canon bi character as a lesbian. people will be so angry with you. and it's understandable, since there's so little queer rep in comparison to cishet rep that when there IS a rare actual queer character, the unofficial rule is "don't take that away from them when you add more headcanons to them". like, respect that this one is REAL and NOT just a headcanon. I think it makes perfect sense to feel upset when people take that away, even if it is just fiction and not even canon to the original source. and yet, whenever there exists a canon asexual character suddenly it's all "oh well asexual people can still have sex so it's fine if we headcanon THIS canon sexuality as something different". it makes me feel so genuinely heartache-y and depressed to see ppl ignoring that aspect of a character.

and by "canon" I'm also including characters that were never specifically referred to with a label but are very obviously coded as something, because those characters will still get the "even if it's not stated it's pretty obvious!!" treatment when it comes to showing attraction to the same gender, but not when they DON'T show attraction to any gender. like aro and/or ace coding just doesn't count. I understand that it's kind of hard to represent an absence of something, especially when you're only implying it and not even directly showing it, but it's not impossible. there's a lot of characters that you could argue are aroace coded the same way you could argue a character is gay coded. obviously to a degree every queer identity gets disrespected in fandom and it's something you just kinda have to deal with, but it's easier to notice when it's something you personally relate to. I don't think it would bother me as much if we didn't have that unofficial "respect the canon" rule and everyone just went wild with whatever, but the double standard does genuinely hurt me, especially when I see people I thought were cool about this stuff participating in it. so whenever I see someone fiercely defending an asexual character it really makes me feel good, like I'M being defended, not a random fictional character that I might not even recognize the name of. I feel safe, like that person will respect ME.

THAT BEING SAID,

AS a sex-repulsed aroace person who enjoys thinking about the entire spectrum of intimacy and where a character may fall exactly on that spectrum, ALSO as a person who is aware that "asexual" simply means "does not experience sexual attraction" and not necessarily "is violently repulsed by anything sexual", sometimes I DO want to play out scenarios for my own enjoyment. sometimes I DO want to think hm I wonder where this ace character's line is, compared to a different ace character. I wonder if there is anyone who would be an exception for them, and how they could go about dealing with that exception. I wonder if they're favourable, neutral, or repulsed. if those aspects of their character aren't explicitly stated then what's to stop me from playing around with them and working through my own issues in a controlled and non-canon environment? if they have the same identity as me, I am way more likely to want to play around with them like a doll and perhaps play out scenarios that I might have thought about before but don't actually want to do for real. I'm not taking away their identity, after all; I'm just, in this scenario, imagining this ace character as an ace that might have sex on at least one occasion for whatever reason. either just to try it, or because they do have someone they'd make an exception for, or if they got bored enough, whatever the reason. it isn't quite disrespecting their truth unless it's explicitly stated either in canon or by word of god that it's something they're uncomfortable with. and to be honest, if I see another asexual creator headcanoning a character as somewhere on the asexual spectrum and depicting them in sexual situations, it makes me almost happy, to know that they're still acknowledging that character's canon identity and accepting and exploring the nuance that could come with it, even if I personally believe that this specific character would be repulsed instead of neutral or favourable. there's this understanding of "I'm doing a character study exploration thing", and not "I don't care I just wanna sexualize this character"

but I literally feel GUILTY when I want to write what is essentially a thinkpiece disguised as a fanfiction or original story on asexuality and take an asexual character (canon or coded) and involve them in sexual situations to explore different avenues of the spectrum. I feel like I'm betraying everyone who's like me and is frustrated with how aroace characters are treated within fandom. I'm like "am I being just as bad as those other people who will disrespect a character's canon sexuality just because they think that character is hot and want to ship them with someone? do they do the same thing with other types of queer characters? how does this reflect that person's view of people, if they're explicitly told someone feels a certain way and decides to ignore it for their own amusement? or is it just because they're fictional and not real people and I'm being really sensitive and thinking way too much into it? am I not doing the exact same thing? do I have more credence to explore scenarios like this because I am aroace and sex-repulsed myself and therefore have a pass to do whatever I want and it won't come off as a little weird the way it might if someone who's allosexual did it?"

and these two opinions are at war in my mind constantly. like both of them can and do co-exist but I still struggle to accept that lol

[plusvanity]

What’s your take on Pelle wanting a romantic relationship irl? Do you think it’s something he would’ve wanted? Or was he afraid that he was too odd for someone to accept him? (I don’t know if that sounds harsh). Since you think that he was sensitive.

Btw I love your analysis girl 🫶

I'm not so sure about relationships, but I firmly believe that he wanted to connect to someone, somehow.

In terms of friendships, I think Øystein was the closest friend he had (at least during his time in Norway), but even so, Pelle didn't open up much for various reasons that include the environment in which he was at that time and most probably trust issues. Talking at some point with Old Mayhem, she described an 'invisible wall' between Pelle and his friends/ the world and I couldn't agree more. It feels like Pelle would've wanted this meaningful connection with someone, anyone, but unfortunately, he didn't manage to form it. I genuinely think this had a massive contribution to why he took his own life.

I don't know if he would've wanted a relationship because a relationship comes with a lot of stress and pressure for being in a commitment, attending someone else's needs, etc, but he definitely felt alone and forgotten in this world. After all, he wrote in his last lyrics 'No one will ever miss you'. He longed to be seen, to be given attention and importance. There are a lot of signs of emotional neglect in how he developed, but I will try to keep it short. I consider him as being in the autism spectrum and a relationship would most likely feel overwhelming, especially since he would lack experience, confidence, etc. But if I have to imagine him in a relationship, I can only imagine him being with someone patient and calm.

People with strong trauma responses, PTSD and those who suffer from personality disorders need a partner who is a bit more mentally equipped to manage stressful situations than your average Joe. To see improvement in Pelle's mental health, he would need a very patient and mature partner.

Love can heal a broken heart. I am one of those people who believe that no matter how broken you are, if you find someone to love you for who you are, someone who is willing to accept you with all of your inner demons, with the the good and the ugly, you can start to heal. Currently, I'm following this process myself. The human brain can be programmed and re-programmed. We are very adaptable to our environments and if we make our senses realize we're not in danger anymore, we can finally allow ourselves inner peace. This is why I believe that Pelle could've been saved.

Hypothetically speaking, Pelle would have a hard time adjusting to a relationship. He was quite rigid, stubborn and unwilling to change for others. To make a relationship work, you need to make some compromises. Another aspect that I want to point out is that Pelle had outbursts or 'episodes' of impulsive behavior when he was living. That would be a serious problem. Øystein (and Metalion, if I remember correctly) had to literally hold Pelle down when he suddenly wanted to 'go to Transylvania'. The question is: Would someone be able (and willing) to deal with this again and again? He would definitely need psychiatric treatment, but would he accept that? There are so many factors that would make dating Pelle a real challenge. I also believe that he was suffering some sort of perceptual delusion. I won't call it Cotard's syndrome since it is not recognized in the DSM and since we have very little information about it, but my honest opinion is that he might have had something more that just depression and I'm kind of pointing towards Major Depression with Psychotic Features. If you believe something else, that's fine. Everyone does their own research and reaches their own conclusions.

I do think he was sensitive and there would've been room in him to grow positive feelings towards someone, to form a meaningful connection and learn to trust again. In the end, it doesn't matter if he would've had a romantic partner or a best friend, he would've liked to form a bond with another soul, someone who understands him, respects him and is there to stay.

I imagine him as being very honest, capable of showing tenderness, being mindful, quiet, contemplative and trustworthy in a meaningful relationship.

Sorry for my late response, I had an awful weekend.

[xyfanficarchive]

……free use jimmy. Jimmy who’s always got a half chub around you and when you ghost your hand over it he lets out a whimper (super embarassed about it and probably tries to play it off as a cough). Jimmy who who likes to bite and scratch and have mean rough sex but he’ll kiss you afterwards and tuck his face in your neck (it’s his way of showing affection and aftercare). Jimmy who gets limp dicked bc of meds so you grind against his meat until you both cum…Jimmy who steals your underwear and huffs it like a fucking drug while jacking the skin off his dick. JIMMY.

oxy youre killing me.

i always agonize over whether to answer in second person or first person but FUCK IT im selfship brained rn. but anyone can take these for themselves 👍

i cant imagine how down bad and in love and fully trusting jimmy’s gotta be to be FREE USE like what a vulnerable position to let himself be fucked whenever kyahahaha but he’s always half hard around me thinking it could happen at any time… i like the idea of him loving being my little whore 😊😊😊 let go of that control baby ill make you feel good….

ive never been really into the idea of being on the receiving end of rough sex until jimmy man fuck i want him to bite me and mark me and pin my wrists i think id let that man choke me. no i WOULD let him choke me. that man fucks HARD when he’s being mean, god… and to get his sweet kisses after, cuddles, his face in my neck almost like he’s thanking me…

imagining coming to his place and finding out where all my panties have gone what a perv i like the idea of him not only smelling them but cumming into them. taking them home and washing them fuck theyre still perfectly good panties and he would absolutely get off on seeing me wear them knowing he’d jerked off into them. and i also like the idea of tying him up and riding him and putting my underwear over his face fuck he’s gotta be busting so fast

basically i think he’s a switch even if he doesnt realize it yet, we’d have the best switch sex life ever. i think he’d be into electrostim, giving and receiving. it can feel good or it can hurt and he would love being in control of it. and love it more after knowing what both ends of the spectrum feel like when he lets me have the controls. like i think he’s the kind of person who absolutely loves being in power but i love the idea of jimmy who’s comfortable enough to make himself vulnerable and let someone have power over him as well.

i think a quite a bit of his fragile self worth is tied up in sex and masculinity so being unable to get it up hits really hard, even though the meds help he’s really fucking self conscious if he’s even worth it as a partner anymore so i think having someone who still wants him so bad they’re willing to grind on his soft dick until they both cum. yeah he knows he’s hit the jackpot. fuck he’s so in love.

[cloverapple]

Do you have any advice for someone who can't concentrate on their thoughts for the life of them? I'm a maladaptive daydreamer and have dabbled in shifting, but I always find myself thinking about some random thing (or falling asleep. Usually both). Even when I focus on the feeling of being there, I get distracted 😭

I really like your blog!!

First of all, I suuuuper reccomend this guided meditation by Alunir. It’s the solution to the problem you just described, trust me.

My take on this as a maladaptive daydreamer myself:

My dear, I think your daydreaming is the way you concentrate on your thoughts! Don't get me wrong, maladaptive daydreaming can be harmful when it interferes with daily life, but in the context of focus, have you ever considered that this might be your mind’s way of saying “Hey! This is how we concentrate easily!”

There’s no single “right” way to focus. When people talk about concentration, they often imagine a clear, still mind, deep breathing, and allowing thoughts to pass without attachment. And yes, that is one way to focus, but it’s not the only way. Everyone’s brain works differently.

For example, I have ADHD, and I process information better when I’m listening to something while doing another task—washing dishes, drawing, anything that keeps my hands busy. That’s also what triggers my maladaptive daydreaming; the second music hits my ears and I’m occupied, I’m gone. Fully immersed in another world.

And here’s the thing—daydreaming is a state of awareness. Just like being awake, asleep, or in the hypnagogic state, daydreaming exists on that spectrum. If you're prone to it, slipping into that awareness is effortless, which is why it can feel disruptive to real life. But when it comes to focusing on your thoughts, you can use this as a tool rather than fighting it. This makes visualization, shifting, and other mental techniques so much easier.

So what triggers your daydreaming? If music does it, try lying down with a playlist that reminds you of your desired reality and let the scenarios play out. That’s just as valid as any shifting method. The difference between daydreaming without meaning to and daydreaming to shift is intention.

If you spend time lost in a scenario and then think “Damn, I just wasted all that time when I could have been shifting,” you weren’t setting the right intention. But if you go in thinking “Alright, let me do my shifting method” and let yourself naturally fall into daydreaming—then trust that your mind knows how to shift—you’ve already increased your chances of success exponentially.

And you don’t have to be in bed to do this. You can move around, do it throughout the day, so long as the intention and self-trust are there, your subconscious will recognize it and follow through.

Always strive to improve for the sake of your mental health, but never be afraid to work with your mind instead of fighting against it.

I hope this helps in some way ♡

[tumblebagel]

FOR ALL TRANS PEOPLE IN FLORIDA

Hi. I've been meaning to make a post like this for quite a long time now. As a person who's been trans in this state for... a while, I felt like I could be helpful by posting my catalogue of knowledge.

I also need to apologize in advance. I need to give you the facts and the current policies before I can give you the hope that you're looking for. I promise, there is hope. I swear it. But being well informed is my first priority for you right now, because it's the only thing I can do to make sure that you, the reader, stay safe. Okay?

Do me a favor and take a deep breath before you hit “Keep Reading,” alright?

The Facts.

Florida's bathroom laws are fucked. If you hear the term "Safety in Private Spaces Act" that is the exact law fucking trans people over. It was passed in 2023, and people are not afraid to use it. It only DIRECTLY applies to public state-owned buildings. If you attempt to enter a bathroom that does not match your sex, and you are at:

A public school

A state owned library

A state owned govt building (city hall, etc.)

Then you can, and likely WILL be arrested.

If you are in ANY restroom on the aforementioned properties, and are presenting as gender nonconforming, OR you're presenting as a gender that doesn't match the restroom you entered, you may still face harassment, and the police being contact anyways, although they won't have grounds for arrest. It's very much a lose-lose situation.

As someone who's worked at a public library in Florida for the past 5 years now, you can take all of the information above as a first hand reference.

While the "Safety in Private Spaces Act" is only DIRECTLY targeted at state owned & public buildings, private property needs to be taken at a case-by-case basis. People can still call the police, and if you're not certain that the people who own the location will defend you, it can be quite risky. Here's a list of common stores & restaurants and stuff that have protection policies in place for trans people using the restroom there (AKA, the GOOD ones).

Target

Starbucks

Barnes & Noble

Chipotle

Sears

Whole Foods

There's also this site: https://www.refugerestrooms.org where you plug in your address, and it lets you know if there are safe restrooms nearby. I believe it also has an app? I've heard some concerns about how often it's updated, but a resource is a resource. Also ALWAYS be careful when inputting your data (including your location) online. Be sure that the site is secure, and trusted by other members of the community to, you know, not be shipping off your data to corporations or the current government.

You can also look for businesses with "family restrooms" which people might give you a weird look if you leave one alone, but more often than not they'll just assume whatever happened was simply too embarrassing for a public stall. Disney property is also surprisingly quite good at those with their "companion restrooms" you'll sometimes see.

On the exact opposite end of the spectrum, I've made plenty of use of shiiiiiiiiiiiiiitty gas stations in my day. As in gas stations so tiny and run down in the middle of nowhere that they simply CANNOT AFFORD a second stall. It ain't hygienic by any stretch of the imagination, but neither is the back of a police cruiser.

Last resort, and I mean LAST resort, is personal bathrooms in the houses of allies. If you have a trusted support group, and their addresses, congratulations, consider that your gender-neutral bathroom map. They're almost assuredly not convenient, but some days they're the ONLY comfortable places to go.

Trans people are twice as likely to get a UTI in their life as cis people, simply from trying not to use a restroom. So first and foremost, please please please stay safe out there.

Second order of note is HRT.

I feel the need to very explicitly say DIY HORMONES CAN BE VERY DANGEROUS. You need consistent bloodwork done to make sure your body is handling the treatment properly. In addition, improper dosage can lead to a bunch of awful symptoms, including tolerance to the medication. Please, work with a physician who can make sure you stay safe, don't do DIY unless it's your absolute last resort.

ITS ALSO VERY IMPORTANT TO NOTE, that if you're a minor, you cannot begin gender affirming care in Florida, and if you are caught with it, Florida authorities have grounds to revoke your parents' custody. That is shit. I know that is shit. I was very recently a minor tearing my hair out trying to get HRT. While I'm now legally considered """an adult""", I still very very very much feel that pain. Comments are open if you'd like to scream a bit.

For people over 18, there are a bunch of additional restrictions in place for setting up care. First of all, with the informed consent model, you need to sign all of the paperwork *in-person* with the prescribing physician, which completely cuts out any Telehealth options. You'll also be pretty hard pressed to FIND a clinic willing to prescribe it.

I can't personally recommend Plume. I was on a several month long waiting list, only to have my appointment cancelled because a bill went into effect the week before I was supposed to go sign the informed consent paperwork. That being said, I know too many trans people here who LOVE Plume to denounce it. The pricing and services it offers sounds almost too good. The organization has helped a lot of people, so the most I can say is:

1: Do your research.

2: Don't feel tied down if it doesn't work out.

If you want to know how I, personally, started my care, I think it's now time to switch over from the Facts to the Hope.

The Hope.

Planned Parenthood.

I made my first appointment in South Carolina to try and circumvent that law that cancelled my Plume appointment. You'll want to do your research on what Planned Parenthood location you're going to, because not all of them provide the same services. That being said... worse case scenario... South Carolina really ain't too far away, as long as you've got a free weekend for a road trip there and back.

I'm getting off track, Planned Parenthood is amazing. The people there are REALLY nice. My physician very much has an "OH MY GOD YOU'RE GONNA LOVE IT" energy about her.

I scheduled my first appointment just a week out, though timing may vary now that a lot more pressure is being put on them. Hours after my first appointment I had both estradiol and spironolactone physically in my hands, and the biggest dorky grin on my face.

In terms of access, this is probably one of the BEST options at your disposal. Please be sure to do some research beforehand about appointment costs, and medication costs, especially since insurance REALLY isn't going to want to cover it.

Once you're ready, mentally and financially, the power to get GAHT is in your hands.

Also, now when I take their post-appointment survey, I can say "yes, I would recommend this location to someone else" :D

A lot of public universities have been implementing more gender neutral bathrooms, and can potentially even provide you a map of where they are on campus if you ask.

Name change forms are also easily accessible for most schools if you ask, both for social recognition with teachers, and digital changes in academic portals and websites.

While LGBTQ+ oppression hasn’t gone down, neither has our fighting. You’ll see more pride pins and flags than ever, especially in the cities.

If you need mental/emotional help or support, I can't recommend anyone more than the Trevor Project:

https://www.thetrevorproject.org

Their help hotline is entirely confidential. Life as a trans person is hella stressful, and living in Florida can make that a lot worse. Whatever you're going through right now, I can tell you that there are people ready and willing to accept you and care for you.

I've also gotten glowing reviews from my sibling about the Orlando Youth Alliance. If you're a trans minor in Florida, you may not be able to get HRT... but you can occasionally get a trip to Disney World.

https://orlandoyouthalliance.org

Lastly, if you're out and about in Florida, and you see a girl in a black-grey hoodie, a big chunky heart necklace, and 1/2 peach colored hair dye, feel free to go up to her and tell her "I like your shoelaces," and you can get a free hug, no questions asked.

Keeping Tabs.

I'm gonna do my best to keep updating this post as much as I can. I've assuredly forgotten something. News details and policy updates will be my main focus. If you think of something important you'd like me to add, please don't hesitate to let me know

[i-like-forcefem]

This might be a tad heavy but after that last ask, like

God, so much content that explores gender in an even slightly fantasy/sexual way is just. Sooo cis/het-norminative. A guy being feminine is his failure to be appropriately masculine, a girl being masculine is her running away from her obligation to femininity. Add bdsm elements and it’s just endless harassment and bullying of people who want to explore gender spectrum, played for fap material.

And then blogs like yours that mix in some bdsm elements but are run by people who can do and will say “it’s not a failure to want to be feminine. We make fantasies about forcefully turning boys into girls because fantasies are fun and we want to cater to trans girls who just want someone to do their transition for them. Ultimately your gender is what you want it to be and these fantasies are expressly for people who want to fantasize about being in the fictional scenarios because they’re also people who exist and deserve respect.”

Is it any wonder you guys make me question me gender so much

Mhm! We’re filling a very important gap in the forcefem market here!

(Went on a bit of a tangent here so a read more was added as buffer, tldr: degrading forcefem is my villain origin story, we need more love)

Sissy-stuff is fine, I find it hot even!

But it’s so degrading, dehumanising, devoid of any love or real empathy

The notion that you truly want to be a girl, there is something wrong with you

That you’re a broken, lesser man, and nothing you can do will change that

And that’s silly!!!

If you make a habit out of looking at blogs like this, chances are: You’re already a girl!

And that’s lovely!

But the degrading elements take that desire for attention, plausible deniability and turn it against you

Turn into something that makes you feel lesser

And being lesser is hot don’t get me wrong

But after you take off the panty gag, after the skimpy skirt now soaked in cum comes off and you’re only left in the chastity cage you’re “supposed” to wear

Well it’s already really easy to see yourself as a freak, aftercare is one of the most important things in kink, and degrading forcefem not only makes it absasnt, but it even makes a habit out of never ending the scenario!

You’re always supposed to wear a cage

You always have desires for feminine clothes, not because you’re a girl, but because you’re some sick frak of a man who needs to be trained to be a sissy and finally be of use to someone

And that’s not true!!!

Degrading forcefem is hot, but it seeps into your entire life, makes a core part of your identity how you are less

And on of my missions is to say that Gender Euphoria is the hottest thing in the world

That’s why forcefem attracts me!

I’m not even that into it

But the plausible deniability, the excuse to wear skirts, the fantasising about getting a big sis who knows how good you look in skirts, and we can’t waste that potential can we?

Forcefem is filled with affirmation, it’s alright to be a girl!

Forcefem is a fantasy, imagine you woke up to find your body in a girl!

And as a dom Forcefem is a way to help, and love, those who won’t or can’t help themselves, which is a self indulgent fantasy as well

This is a bit of tangent, I want to be clear that there’s nothing wrong degrading forcefem, it’s hot

But it’s devoid of any love

It leaves you sitting in the bathroom after eating your own cum wondering

Am I even really a girl?

And I’d do anything to make sure that no one else has to feel that way

If you reading this is a sissy, or a “confused” man, a self proclaimed “boy”

Well I can’t stress enough: Try being a girl

I give you permission to

Change your pronouns, find a new name, wear skirts outside of kink, start E

Whatever you’d want to do

Your kink doesn’t define you

You are not broken

You are not filthy

You are more then a slut

You are a woman

(I’d assume so, at least, if you continue to read this far down a post like this, and if you try it, and it doesn’t work, well no harm done!)

A be a good girl and put on a skirt for me cutie

And look at yourself, not as a sissy, but as a woman