#cal writes meta…?

[sunshinechay]

One thought I had during the entirety of ep2 is just how clear it is to everyone but the two of them that Ming is SUPER into Joe and not just because he looks like Tong from behind.

Joe is sweet and loving and accepting of Ming’s rough edges from the hop (which is a yikes considering how many red flags Ming proudly carries around with but I digress) and it’s everything that Ming wants but is too in his own way to fully understand that he wants it.

He’s liked a boy for a long time, a boy that at some point became his sister’s boyfriend and thus even more off limits than before. Which is further complicated by Tong’s attempt at very turn to use Ming’s feelings to get what he wants. Tong knows what Ming likes him but actively doesn’t care and will use Ming to get what he wants.

Ming is selfish in a way that I think even confused Ming himself. He’ll stop at nothing to get what he wants but at the same time, never seems to know what he wants. He wants to be with the boy he likes but cannot tell that what he needs is to get out of his own way and realize that his relationship with Tong is actively hurting him and will continue to hurt him in the future if he keeps going the way he’s going.

He’s emotionally stunted and is more willing to continue to desire someone he cannot have rather than recognize his growing attachment to Joe and the warm and good feelings Joe gives him.

Ming feels the pathological need self sabotage at every turn and in turn bring down everyone around him. He refuses to face his own feelings and instead decides to make it everyone else’s problem, especially Joe’s.

Yet because of Joe, Ming does something truly unselfish for the first time in the series. He doesn’t storm into Joe and Sol’s conversation and instead leaves. He leaves and goes to Joe’s place and at least attempts to cook a meal for him. Yes this attempt at being unselfish is immediately followed up with an extremely selfish request of one sided exclusivity on Joe’s part but the beginnings of Ming’s true feelings are peaking through.

It’s a tiny small thing but it proves that Ming isn’t truly and completely horrible. He is however selfish and arrogant and needs to be knocked down a peg or 2 or 12 before he can truly realize himself.

It’s a preview of Ming’s redemption. It’s proof that Ming is genuinely starting to like Joe, even if he has a long way to go before he is truly worthy of Joe.

[lovelyrotter]

i am curiose 👁️ abt the equius -> lil cal -> striders theories

oh shit aight [cracks knuckles] im not as good as others at organizing this stuff but imma do my best

so basically in terms of classpecting Lil Cal is ridiculous. dude has a lord of time, bard of rage, AND a prince of heart all mixed up together. however you wanna interpret caliborn, gamzee, and hal existing inside lil cal is up to you but for this theory we're lookin at them as separate entities kind of like system members in a plural way cause thats just what makes the most sense to me conceptually. but ANYWAY thats three powerful classpects all running around butting up against each other. time rage and heart is an insane combination so why is lil cal not greating a passive AOE type gravity well of destruction just by sitting there? my partner and i think its because of equius being an heir of void. this classpect has always fuckin fascinated me cause like, he basically inherits nothing right? thats a literal read of it at least. void is fuckin weird and my autistic brain no matter how many wrinkles it has just cant grasp it which is, yknow, what void is and does

Heir of Void: One who Invites Manipulation of Void or one who Invites Manipulation through Void

take a look at the above blog cause its really well put imo. there are so many ways to interpret void in general and heirs are also kind of a funky class, but we believe that inside lil cal, equius has been using his void powers as a shock absorber. equius IS a shock absorber. what do you do with all that power but you cant let it get out? you try to keep it caged. the heir of void acts like a blackout blind inside lil cal whether equius is concious of it or not, whether hes an active separate conciousness who still identifies as equius or not. lil cal is also an heir of void purely because equius is there. void just kinda naturally cancels out the other more active/destructive classpects. hes the base to caliborn, gamzee, and hals acid

which then makes me go crazy thinking about beta dirk again like ive talked about before. i truly believe that lil cal had a major hand in making bro strider as abusive as we see in hs1. i believe that any dirk is capable of slipping into abusive/toxic behaviours. AR for instance maniplulated dirk and others almost every time we see him but thats also complicated as fuck, because i think that was him being backed into a corner. he had no other choice in terms of holding onto his automity basically. not excusing orchestrating dirks first decapitation but its a fascinating reason. i think Hal/AR is what Beta Dirk could have been like without lil cal's interference. the sexual abuse and throwing dave down the stairs? thats lil cal's work.

lil cal has 3 extremely violent people floatin around inside him (caliborn, gamzee, equius), two of them having intense and poorly managed fixations on intimacy/tenderness and sex/kink in general, and one deeply scared, angry, and traumatized splinter of Dirk himself. an absolutely toxic combination and one that set Bro up for failure since he was sent into the beta timeline. Bro Strider is absolutely a Doomed Dirk. i do not count AR as being a violent person, at least compared to the others, but if while in Lil Cal he's still angry at Dirk then who knows what their interactions wouldve been like while Beta Dirk grows up. We do get to see a window into what AR couldve been like inside Lil Cal when we get into the Doc Stratch stuff because Doc Stratch is basically AR but creepier, which... actually leads me to believe way more that by the time Doc Scratch is A Thing, AR's personality has been melded into something/someone else entirely. but they talk + type pretty much exactly the same. its absolutely crazy i hadnt noticed that until recently. everyone wondering what AR would be like if Bro Strider made him? points to Doc Scratch unfortunately

but comin back from the inevitable Hal Tangent(tm), like its fuckin fascinating because while i do count Equius as contributing to Lil Cal's general toxicity (mostly through his learned caste bullshit) i also think, again, that hes the only reason why we never actually saw Bro draw Dave's blood. not even a drop. he cut his shirt symbol yeah but his shirt was intact.

we see Equius getting stressed over breaking shit accidentally basically the whole time hes alive. i mean fuck the whole glass of milk gag in one of the final alterniabounds while you play him. its pretty easy for me to read that as him being generally anxious about being too strong for his enviornment, especially too strong to touch anyone he cares about, and that when he does eventually end up breaking smth/hurting someone, it impacts him. like a lot. he could easily hurt Nep if hes not careful so hes gotta pull back and be suuuper gentle like all the time. and him having that kinda temperament combined with his classpect makes me think that he'd use his void powers to protect and cloak and supress. he embodies the void. he becomes 'nothing' and therefore he becomes anything he wants.

basically, Equius is a tempering force inside Lil Cal and thus a tempering force over Bro too because hes constantly scared of and stressed over breaking shit and hurting his friends. he knows how dangerous Caliborn and Gamzee are. Gamzee killed him easily after all. So he can't let Bro actually touch Dave. Bro might not want to touch dave anyway with how Caliborn sexualizes platonic touch. but Bro still needs to make Dave STRONG enough to survive the game, Eq can help with that at least

[weirdmageddon]

i love these tags this person is so right

actually, can you imagine if dave was raised by B1 roxy?

i wanna get into this actually

(ok i had to spend a few hours rewriting this because IT DIDNT FUCKING SAVE AFTER FIVE HOURS OF WRITING WHEN MY COMPUTER UPDATED WHILE I WAS AFK so it would mean a lot to show this post some appreciation. i LOVEEE hearing what other people have to say)

even though these things mom does are presented in an extravagant, kitsch, jokey way, her intentions always came from a place of sincerity. she is simply Funnie

but rose reads too far into it and assumes things that aren't there, that her mother is passive-aggressively feigning interest in rose's interests simply because the things she does are so extra. "why do all of this if not to mock me"

im telling you right now if dave lived in this household he wouldn't assume antagonism, he'd go,

don’t forget who LITERALLY patented tangible jpeg artifacts as their post-scratch adult self and scattered shitty scummed up statue of liberties all over the planet. theres no way some of that overboard artful shit wasnt post-ironic / circling back around to genuine funny sincerity

dave's natural state is funny sincerity like roxy. he's had the natural capacity for this type of humor from the start and this is the direction he goes towards when he grows out of his brother's shadow by the end of the comic. dave and roxy share an earnest “so bad its good” type of humor

(lots more under the cut; the length of this meta analysis just got unwieldly with all the pictures and whatnot)

despite the alcoholism, roxy is a supportive mother. she's not the ideal guardian but hells of a lot more supportive of her kid than bro is. if she knew dave's interests she would totally indulge in them with some over the top silly goofy haha shit as a genuine gesture simply because she loves him

rose isn't too keen on it though. but she is more similar to dirk in her natural state of thinking of overthinking shit and assuming the worst, like the tags said

and yes dave got the sweet cuddly yet sometimes backhanded ouppy gene from roxy, probably even moreso lol

roxy's even said rose "sounds like girl dirk"

side tangent here, but this is something i wanna talk about.

i dont think bro should ever be in custody of children ever but if theres anyone who would be up to the task it's rose probably. i know she'd be able to keep up with him. not only does she have a defined personality (dave is more malleable and absorbs his environment like a sponge), if anyone can pick apart B1 dirk's batshit brain and probably be right on the money it's her. lil cal has been pumping patriarchal nonsense into bro's head and rose would be able to bring the fucking facts to the table without losing her own and being a living example of a badass little girl. i also don't think bro would try to force masculine roles onto rose like he did with dave, seeing as she is a girl, so she would actually have more of a leg up and get some passes that dave was never afforded. and rose wouldn't stand idly and accept any bullshit; she is no doormat. and i think this would earn bro's respect

but anyway, from this, couldn't we conclude roxy "sounds like girl dave"?

yeah okay. we havent even gotten into their penchant for funny typos or misspeaks, deliberate or otherwise

so, dave's environment

the sentiment "god you hope you can be as good as your bro at this some day" might have been genuine at the time when he idolized bro but of course he's not able to express that in any sort of sincere fashion because he's in dirk's fucking household. and this level 10 irony shit isnt doing dave any favors

his role models were the Internet and a vague idea of what Bro was like. So he built up his facade based on irony–not the literary definition of irony, as Rose might be quick to point out, but a popular concept of irony based on the idea that things that didn’t make sense actually made sense in some roundabout way. As a master of irony, Dave probably reasoned, he could see in a way other people couldn’t why a world that was scary and didn’t make sense really did make sense, and could therefore convince those people that he was superior to them. And he would wield his knowledge to maintain the appearance of superiority by calling everything ironic and pretending he didn’t care about things that didn’t make sense, and he would use walls of vaguely rhyming words to keep everyone at arm’s length so they wouldn’t discover his insecurities (source)

roxy's style is the embodiment of post-irony. being raised by mom lalonde would be like being raised by joel vinesauce ok

what can i say ….. (getting meta about this actually, hussie got these jpeg wizard wallpapers from a spyware website. link takes some time to load because internet archive)

rose is quick to read post-irony as actually being a joke/insincere, which in bro's case would be true. but i believe dave's natural instinct, outside of the influence of bro, is to read post-irony as genuine, which is exactly how mom serves it. we see this as early as act 3 from him; he understands her motives better than rose does herself:

and in act 6 intermission 2 i think it's pretty clear

but the thing is, it's always genuine from her. dave wouldn't have to second guess it because he's not one to naturally second guess someone's sincerity; that was learned due to his bro being virtually unassailable

there two types of ironies at play here:

seems like a joke, is actually genuine (roxy)

doesnt seem like a joke, is actually a joke (dirk)

you can make the argument that the second is is more psychologically destructive because it makes you question the reality of what is genuine sentiment and what isn't. dave never knew what was genuine and what was irony so he just sort of existed in this sincerity-ironic limbo and always did the opposite of what he genuinely felt on principle even if it always did originate from a genuine place.

"it just a joke bro i was just being ironic i dont actually x" is so much more trust-breaking and psychologically damaging than "wait are you being serious" / "i am being so fucking fr rn davy gravy" / "ok thats actually pretty fucking awesome. giant ass wizard statue" / "RIGHT"

how much about dave would change do you think? his character arc would be completely different for one thing, i think he'd have it good aside from mom's alcohol issues. he'd be left with the sweet and funny parts of him that we see at the end of the comic. the fake coolguy stuff is out, but this remains. this is dave in his element and we see it as early as act 1

he'd probably have no shades growing up in the lalonde residence* either cause those were given to him by bro straight out of the crater as an extension of his own cool image. and john gave dave ben stiller’s aviators for his 13th birthday to replace them so he could “spread his wings”

dave said he was wearing them for the ironies but i kind of doubt it. maybe post-irony but there was some reacharound to it being genuine because dave never put those pointy anime shades on his face again.

*though... it’s kind of hard to imagine him without his shades at all? B2 dave still got stiller’s shades from stiller himself so maybe getting them is a universal constant. i can imagine mom getting him them as a birthday gift cause shes pretty wealthy and probably could buy it out in an auction. but also itd be cool if john still gave him it as a gift

dave is actually a lot more genuine and easy to read than he lets on even when grappling with his upbringing with B1 dirk (again, see this post). this can be seen all throughout he comic but a good example is the evolution of thoughts about his interest in the preserved dead things in his room:

if B1 roxy was dave's guardian he probably WOULD have pursued paleontology because she wouldve indulged him in it and probably find it cool and worthwhile to pursue, instead of allowing dave to flounder under ironic detachment, being poisoned by irony to the point of gaslighting himself into believing he doesnt actually believe he thinks this shit is cool. even if it was indulged in this such a way; a superficially kitsch and ironic appearing presentation, it comes from a genuine place and inspires genuine interest. just read the comments.

basically, i think if B1 roxy raised dave, their relationship would have a surface level appearance of being bizarre or over-the-top but they’d have an unsaid mutual understanding that it’s completely in earnest and just build on each other's funny and absurd gestures of affection. rather than seeing it as one-upping each other, it'd more like collaboration of some silly bullshit that you take a step back and look at full and just say, "fucking incredible"

speaking of paleontology, mom had the proto-ectobiology lab. maybe they'd be able to use the equipment to appearify paradox ghost imprints of the dead shit to create paradox clones of things from the cambrian era??? sounds like a fun mother son bonding activity. and theyd actually put the sciencey shit in the household to use

oh god i know exactly the kinds of music shed listen too also growing up as a teen in the 80s. she on that (post)-punk/art rock/new wave/new romantic mtv stuff. XTC shit fr. this is a B-52S HOUSEHOLD. maybe the associates for the campy melodramatic flair. so he gets to keep the record on his shirt cause he is an enjoyer of the shit in her vinyl collection. dave would still gravitate towards musical expression and music itself but of more variety outside of just rap, with an 80s-90s, even 70s flavor due to mom’s influence. see this for perhaps a glimpse. ​she probably visited new york city a lot for business trips and because the music scene was cool as hell around that time, imports came straight from jfk airport, she probably got in on that a bit and have remnants in the form of vinyls and cassettes. in this way she could be distributing void to dave (influencing him with forgotten / presently irrelevant music). now he can REALLY rave about bands none of his friends have heard of. “hey davy grvay watcha listenin to” (he holds up vinyl cover) “omg snakefinger”

btw dave lalonde would look like this to me

[princesssarcastia]

thinking about the tragedy of The West Wing tonight. thinking about how jed bartlet convinced josh lyman to work for him, before they ever met, by telling the truth even when it cost him political points. thinking about how bartlet massively betrayed the trust of the people working for him, and also kind of did defraud the american public!

thinking about how even when american liberals write their wet dream political fantasy they still can't get anything done. thinking about how the bartlet white house got so stymied politically the show spent more and more time writing convoluted military plotlines, because they'd hit the ceiling of their own political imagination.

let bartlet be bartlet, they said, and bartlet wanted to lie. he compromised on his agenda and his values. he promoted moderate positions and people. he sat there and watched everything he'd worked for be unwritten by a maverick republican speaker.

the most interesting moment in the back half of the show is when bartlet attains some kind of meta-level awareness of his own ineffectiveness and sends the government into a shutdown because he can't bear to play politics by the rules anymore. but it only lasts for a few episodes before it's back to business as usual.

"Filling another seat on the court may be the only lasting thing I do in this office," Bartlet says, and he's right. yes, they negotiated that deal on social security, but they couldn't take credit for it and that was it! that was their one thing!

no, don't go after the KKK and other white supremacist groups. no, don't publish that study about the necessity of sex education. don't do anything. espouse some grand ideals and watch as they're slowing crushed by the political machinery that YOU are operating.

it's best epitomized long before aaron sorkin left, in a half-overheard exchange happening in another room.

BARTLET: I couldn't disagree more, Cal. As long as these people are funding their public school districts with property taxes, neither the value of the schools nor the value of their property is going to go up. It's a vicious circle. It's terrible and it has to be stopped. CAL: So we're going to do something about it. BARTLET: I wouldn't go that far.

That's a real issue that we need a real solution for. But instead of reaching for the stars, the west wing decided to stay right here in the dirt where our current system has left us. and here we still sit, together, over twenty years later.

[cal-daisies-and-briars]

Part two!

➰➰➰➰➰➰➰➰➰➰➰➰➰➰➰➰➰➰➰➰(I’m LOVING this! I have such theories i can’t wait to see if i’m right! And once again you’re a master of using your line breaks to enhance a story - it’s so meta i love it!)

☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️(whodunit? I don’t know! I’m so excited to find out! Really loving athena’s pov especially for this story it’s so fun!)

🦷🦷🦷🦷🦷🦷🦷🦷🦷🦷(CAL YOURE DOING BTHB?!?!??!!! HOW DO YOU EXPECT ME TO SURVIVE THAT?????!!!!! It seems like you’re maybe starting us off light but i can never be sure with you… you’re an angst master and i cant wait to read all your stories!)

I hope you know that reading your snippets is genuinely one of the highlights of my day! Your work makes me so happy thank you for sharing!

- PCA <3

HI PCA!

THANK YOU AGAIN FOR BEING THE LOVELIEST PERSON EVER???

60 for ➰ (Hope you enjoyed the first chapter! And thanks! i have so much fun with the line breaks)

Tagging @steadfastsaturnsrings

---

“Not the exact same,” Eddie explains nervously. “It’s like some things matter, and others don’t. I don’t know about today, though. Maybe we have, yeah.”

Buck thinks nervously about the prospect that one of them might die horribly at any moment. 

“Okay, which things matter?” Buck asks. 

“The restaurant. We have to go to the restaurant,” Eddie explains. 

“Okay,” Buck nods. “Right at the same time.”

“Yep,” Eddie confirms. “And we have to go kayaking. You have to hit your head.”

“What?” Buck complains. “Why? Come on!”

“I didn’t choose it, Buck!” Eddie practically whines. “Just, every time you don’t, something worse happens. Without fail. We don’t have to eat breakfast on the patio. We can go to the beach or the pool. But if we don’t go kayaking, and you don’t hit your head, and we avoid the restaurant, it’s worse for… For one of us.”

Which doesn’t just mean Buck. It could mean Eddie or Chris, too. Damn it.

“Alright, alright,” Buck sighs. “But we could run through a drive-thru this morning? We could wake up and stay in bed longer next time?”

Eddie nods. 

“Okay,” Buck exhales. “Okay, this helps.”

“Please don’t say anything to Chris,” Eddie begs. “Especially about dying. I know he’ll just forget, but…”

“You don’t want to freak him out,” Buck fills in. 

Eddie nods again. “I just want him - and you - to be as happy as possible. Okay?”

Buck tries to avoid narrowing his eyes in concern. Eddie has been the sole lucid person in this experience for a while. He’s whittled it down to a formula. A neatly rehearsed show that he stages every twelve hours, with no end in sight. Buck has thrown that off. Like, significantly. He gets why Eddie is nervous. 

“Don’t worry,” Buck promises, squeezing his hand. “I’m gonna follow your lead, okay? You know how this all works.”

Eddie sighs, relieved. “Thank you.”

“Having me aware will be good,” Buck tells him. “Right? You’re not alone now.”

Eddie scratches his head. “I… I had you before, too. I wasn’t alone.”

---

36 for ☠️ (THANK YOU! I am so happy you're interested. I was nervous to write this one):

---

“Alright,” Athena says. “Well… Let’s say a crime was committed.”

“How bad of a crime?” Bobby asks.

See, this is where they differ. Bobby thinks in terms like that. Athena mostly just sees the law. She does need his perspective right now. 

“Among the worst sort,” Athena says. 

“Okay,” Bobby nods. “Got it.”

“It’s hard to feel bad for the person who was hurt by this crime,” Athena continues. “They aren’t a great person. But that doesn’t matter, right?”

“It shouldn’t,” Bobby agrees. He already knows this is how she feels. Opinions towards the victim or perpetrator isn’t the point of the law. At least, not usually.

“Except, without knowing the specifics, and I don’t…” Athena sighs. “What if the alleged criminals, in this specific scenario, had a really good reason for what they did? A reason you trust?”

Bobby is silent for a long moment. So long, in fact, that Athena begins to worry. 

“This really doesn’t sound like you,” he eventually says. 

“I know,” she admits. 

“So the question here, really, is, do you do your job?” Bobby asks. “Or do you follow your gut?”

“I guess it is.”

“And those two things are usually harmonious,” he continues.

She nods. “Right.”

“Hmm,” Bobby considers. “Athena, I think… I think you need to think about what feels best to you. What can you live with?”

---

30 for 🦷: (I AM! I've been having fun with Gotcha For Gaza prompts, so I thought I'd take a few more prompt like things to inspire me).

---

Not even two minutes later, Christopher is sitting on a chair in the kitchen, mouth open, while Eddie shines a little light to illuminate its dark interior. The gums around his back molars on all sides are red and inflamed. Angry. It soon becomes clear why. Eddie can see the beginnings of four impacted wisdom teeth trying to poke through, pressing up against his gums and his other molars. 

“Oh, buddy,” Eddie sighs.

“What?” Chris asks, words muffled by the set of his extended jaw. “What’s wrong with me?”

“Your wisdom teeth are trying to come through,” Eddie says. He steps back from Chris and turns off the light. “But they’re impacted. Which just means they’re growing in against your other teeth and causing a lot of pain.”

“Oh,” Chris says. “What do I do?”

I, not we. Like he has to solve his problems himself now. He didn’t talk like that before this summer. 

“Well, you’ll probably need a surgery to remove them,” Eddie says. 

Christopher’s face twists with apprehension.

“It’s a little surgery,” Eddie assures him. “Nothing scary like you had in the past. Lots of people have to have it.”

Buck could probably rhyme off the exact percentage of people who need it.

To his surprise, Christopher starts to cry. His face goes even redder.

“Aren’t I too young for that?” He blubbers.”I-I don’t want it!”

“Hey, Chris, it’s okay,” Eddie says soothingly. He reaches out to lay a hand on his son’s shoulder. 

[crappy-homestuck-confessions]

You know the Homestuck community would be a lot less annoying if fans/creators would just shut the fuck up about other fans. Now note, if on rare occassions you're just venting, or aggrivated by a trend that almost everyone does, you know fair enough. Go let off some steam. But when you're starting to write thesis, stories, or other such long winded rants over other HS fans at a frequency that I can document, you need to shut your fucking mouth for a while. "But Homestuck is a meta commentary of the relationship between autho-" Uhp uhp uhp, it doesn't matter. "But the Cals are-" UHP UHP UHP, nobody cares! We've been doing this shit for more than a decade; you people can learn to just ignore people who are stupid/annoying instead of thinking you'll be the one to successfully clap back and look cool. It ain't gonna happen.

.

[spookypaleandfat]

i was really ashamed of what i ate on monday and it made me so angry at myself that i overate and gave in to weakness so i hadn’t been updating my logbook (i had missed a few days beforehand as well) and i didn’t even want to look at it

but tonight i calculated todays cals and i decided to buck the fuck up and go through everything i had missed

i forgot a few snacks here and there i am certain and i had to estimate a lot of things (but i usually do that anyway) and i was so surprised bc what i thought was my worst day ever was actually lower than what i planned to be my meta day. i had a day worse than my meta day (it was unintentional bc we had surprise guests and an unmissable lunch + extras) but it was still SO MUCH LOWER than my mind had concocted

it’s made me realise how important writing this down for me is bc it puts so much into perspective and makes me realise how easy it is to over or underestimate what i actually ate

also today was so much lower than the past few days and it makes sense why my stomach was hurting for a little bit

[nando161mando]

Gillian Anderson pulls out of conference after organiser writes: “War crimes are war crimes even when committed by allies, and should be called out for what they are.”

I guess that must mean she believes war crimes are not war crimes when committed by allies.

So is this the “liberal” position these days?

🤷‍♂️

#WebSummit #GillianAnderson #Israel #Gaza #warCrimes

[nanomooselet]

I love your Trigun meta so much!! But I'm also curious...what kind of dog do you have?? Tell me everything about them!!

Thank you! I had so much fun writing it and having nothing to comfortably write more on is the worst. But I shall persevere.

Aha, THE BEAST! A most excellent creechur.

His name is Cal because at the shelter he was Callum, and then I renamed him Caliban because he was so goofy-looking, and since then it's been whittled down because it was just too much name to put on this ridiculous dog.

He is a (deep breath) Cardigan Corgi Koolie Cross. This works out, in the main, to one very excitable noodle.

However, he is a shapeshifter! Most tricky!

A loaf!

Alligator! (Cal-igator?)

Camouflage!

As you might imagine, his life is a difficult one, full of discontent. I am very mean to him. Witness his torture and deprivation.

[the-meat-machine]

Hi, have you got a meta post on bro&cal? Do you subscribe to the 'lilcal fucked with bro's head'hc? Also the whole trickster mode thing always baffled the hell out of me until your meta post, it makes sense now, but why was Dirk like that???

"Why was Bro Like That" is a question that I have spent absurd amounts of time thinking about. I have… several half-finished meta posts about this in my drafts. I really ought to finish them one of these days.

Here's the tl;dr though:

Canon is deliberately ambiguous on the question of exactly how and how much Lil Cal influenced Bro, which I appreciate. I don't think there's any one interpretation that's the objectively "correct" one.

That said, my own interpretation is that Lil Cal could communicate with Bro but didn't directly mind-control him or anything. Frankly, I don't think he needed to. Bro grew up with this goddamn hell puppet as his best and only friend, and it wreaked havoc on his psyche. He's Dirk with zero positive influences in his life and a vessel of Caliborn in his head encouraging all of his worst tendencies.

I have also been writing a series of fics about Bro's relationship with Lil Cal, which effectively serves as my thesis on the subject. (Fair warning - the first one is gen, but the second one gets real weird real fast.)

As for Trickster Dirk… there are two possible interpretations here. One is that Dirk is simply too depressed and in his own head for Trickster Mode to affect his mind at all. The other, which I think is both much funnier and much more tragic, is that it does affect him - but unlike for the others, for Dirk the "easy" solution to all of his problems is to simply give into his depression, lay down, and give the fuck up on everything. (I can't claim credit for coming up with the latter theory, but sadly I can't remember where I read it.)

[not-quite-but-maybe]

hey there!

I just realized I never did an intro, but you can call me Storm! I'm comfy with just about any pronouns, so refer to me however you'd like :)

tw: disordered eating/eating disorder. I'm pro-recovery, but not for me right now. please block, don't report <3

this blog is a bit of a place to vent/write my thoughts, and also track my progress in a sense. Initially, I needed to lose weight for medical reasons, and due to several factors but primarily a past with disordered eating habits, it has since spiraled a bit.

♡ stats ♡

height: 5'0.25"/153cm

sw: 162lbs/73.5kg

cw: 123bs/55.8kg

gw1: 140lbs/63.5kg ✓

gw2: 120lbs/54.4kg

ugw: 100lbs/45.4kg

daily cal limit: 1200 as little as possible

daily cal goal: 1000 as little as possible

meta day every other monday

as for my interests outside of this, I love music (especially indie and kpop!!), and I think web design is pretty fun, too! I'm a college graduate, and working on figuring out what's next 🥲 here's one of my favorite songs!

anyways, I hope this was a decent intro to me! see you sometime :)

[namidragons]

Some more Sol meta rambles relating to the various Sols in my IWATEX fic Inevitability

Spoilers referencing some endings and of course, the fic, so uhhh read that first? Also discussion of death.

Xylophone "Zy" is a bit of a thought experiment about timeloops and just how differently/badly things on Vertumna could go. Within Exocolonist itself obviously things can only diverge so much otherwise it'd be impossible to factor everything into the game, but I imagine that, through butterfly effects and little nudges here and there, some of Sol's loops could end up looking very different from how things shake out in the game. There's a number of occasions where Sol 'remembers' things that don't happen or they're unsure are real, some of them apparently very bad; there are probably potential disasters that we never see during an actual playthrough.

Which brings us to Zy, the living embodiment of worst case scenario. They're kind of awkward and gloomy, and when they arrive on Vertumna, things just get worse and worse. Tammy dies and Zy can't shake off the thought that it's their fault, something felt wrong and they ignored it and now Tammy's gone. They withdraw in on themselves, start sneaking out with Dys (they kind of get along with him? but Zy's also really blunt and tactless and probably upsets him sometimes), and then within a couple of years another disaster. They both run afoul of some wildlife, Zy panics and uses their augment, which is a kind of a camouflage, Dys is killed. Zy's turbobanned forever from going out and there's a share of people who blame them for Dys (though Zy probably believes it's more people than it really is). Although Zy does manage to save Hal later on, they are injured in the process and suffer from a permanent eye injury. Cal, pretty much the only friend-adjacent person Zy has left, dies in a geoponics accident thanks to the cultivators straining to their limits to try and solve the famine, which also sees Flulu die.

Zy then remembers what's going to happen with the Stratos being destroyed and as per the fic, it's their breaking point. They manage to blow up the faceless attacking the colony but the explosion brings down the wall and kills Chief Rhett, among others, resulting in massive casualties. Zy wanders off into the wilderness in a self-loathing despair and meets their end.

writing it all out I feel pretty bad for them damn, but that's where you get thinking about worst timelines.

-

Strawberry "Beep" is the opposite side of the Zy timeloop coin, as in, there must be certain loops where the events that play out are very, very similar, down to the Sol experiencing them being almost exactly the same person (something pretty easily replicated in the game itself). In this case, Beep being very close to another Strawberry, "Straw".

Like it says in the fic, Beep is a tough cookie and an excellent fighter, but not a jerk about it. She's kind of in the middle of loyalty vs rebellion; she'll usually toe the line but there's a competitive streak in her and definite willingness to challenge the status quo. Sometimes in the back of her head she just gets this impression, this idea, that hey maybe she should back off a bit, maybe she shouldn't brag, maybe she should be the bigger person. (and let's be real, kind of a jerk move to gloat about being a powerhouse when your augment is superstrength)

I just find it interesting to consider how much Sol might or might not remember. Maybe now and then there's a loop just like this one, where it's more of a nagging feeling than distinct memories.

Sadly for Beep, being a hero doesn't always pan out, and those consequences are another facet of her.

-

Strawberry "Straw" was one of my favourite actual playthroughs (though honestly I love all my Sols puts them in a big basket and carries them around like little chickies). She's hard as nails and maximised every red skill, that super strength putting in work. As a kid, she's an absolute hellion with rebellion all the way to the right, someone who helps out with guard and watch duty all the time but frustrates the heck out of Rhett because she's terrible with orders and consistently just does whatever she wants: it works so nobody is allowed to criticise her.

Kom's death hits Straw like a hammer and completely knocks her off her high horse. Without the reality check, Straw would have grown up to be an arrogant jerk, akin to a less cruel Vace. Instead, Straw calms down a lot, realises her own limitations, and puts in some work on herself. She's still not really the greatest people person (bravery 2/3s full is pretty much the extent of her social skills), but her boisterousness comes down a few notches and she's only mostly rebellious instead of full bore stick it to the man.

Technically there are versions of Straw who both destroyed the array and were a colonial hero, but Straw genuinely and truly wants to make things better, and in spite of finding out enough about the array that she could have sabotaged it, she quietly just omits key information and stalls enough that she and Marz are able to pull off their coup and replace Lum. At that stage it's a leadup into a peaceful resolution to the conflict. Instead of being a career soldier, Straw turns towards her botanical interests and becomes prominent in that field. (Straw is significantly smarter than she lets on or wants people to know, in peacetime endings, she gets over that insecurity).

Straw has a lot of good friends amongst the other colonists, including somehow Vace. She broke up him and Nem, but she kind of compartmentalised it as a dislike for seeing Nem with somebody else (Straw having crushed on her for essentially forever). Vace and Straw are competitive, and she doesn't put up with him being pointlessly cruel in front of her, but they're both pretty gung ho people and Straw does cheer on 'badass' stuff and attempt it in turn. Over time (especially when Straw and Nem get together a while after the breakup and she starts to realise how bad Vace's behaviour really was), Straw comes to the conclusion that Vace has got issues and needs help, but it's much later than the in-game therapy arc, because Straw isn't great with this kind of thing and spends a little while hoping he'll just grow out of it (he is in his mid 20s, he is not growing out of it). So yeah Straw gets Vace therapy when he's about 25 and has caused a lot of shit already. (non-therapy Vace friendship is kind of a big oof in ending slides, he just never grows as a person).

Incidentally, arrogant!Straw probably wouldn't have got along with Vace, there'd have been too much push-pull with their relationship, and she'd have started mashing his buttons on purpose sooner or later. Eventually, one of them would have wound up seriously injuring the other; we already know Vace has it in him to attack Sol, and arrogant!Straw is a Sol who would fight back very violently. It would not have ended well in the slightest.

[carelesscalcitrant]

F.A.Q.

Q: Who're you? A: I'm Cal. Autistic, transfem, Homestuck fan, other fandoms fan. I've been writing for a good eight years and have been intermittently drawing for longer. I'm a better writer, though.

Q: What can we expect from your blog? A: Fan content: fic, art, meta posting. I'll keep reblogs to a minimum/topical. Primarily HS content, though.

Q: How can I reach you? A: My main is @g0ji, Ao3 is @Synstylae. That's where I'll be following from.

Q: BYF criteria? A: HS post-canon critical, June Egbert, Vriska sucks. If you disagree with these, feel free to follow me anyway, it's just text informing you of my opinions.

Q: Can I ask you relatively minor things as we delve deeper into this rabbit hole of questioning? A: Sure, it'll go below the cut that's beneath us.

Q: Favorite HS characters? A: Rose, Dirk, Terezi, Jade, Davepetasprite^2 in no particular order.

Q: Favorite flush ships? A: Rosemary (lol), Junesprose, Jaderezi

Q: Favorite pitch ships? A: Vrisdavepeta, Junerezi

Q: Personal HS classifiers? A: Knight of Light, Derse, violet blood.

Q: Do you kin Rose Lalonde? A: Would you like me to.

Q: How can anybody have asked you these questions if you had zero followers when you made it? A: It's a hypothetical person who makes it more fun to talk about myself than baseless talking into the void.

Q: But you are talking into the void, you've just made a dialogue partner to make it more interesting to read, didn't you? A: Yes.

Q: That seems masturbatory. A: It is.

Q: Do you kin Dirk Strider? A: Would you like me to.

[laurabwrites]

Heya! If I wanted some context for your writing, what do I watch? Will the clone war series do? I only know the main movies and the mandalorian!

Oh boy. Uh... this is complex. The answer for 'what do you need to see for context to my fanfiction writing' is... Fanon.

Where is my favorite ship from? The Clone Wars. Have I watched The Clone Wars? NO Do I know multiple plot lines from the series? YES

Have I read the Jedi Apprentice book series? NO Do I have the plot and story- and meta-analysis of Obi-Wan's time on Meliaa/Daan in my head anyway? YES.

Did I at one point read the entirety of what was then called the Extended Universe? Yes. Does it inform my writing? No, because I don't use those characters or the time period really. I could still tell you who Corran Horn, Thrawn, and Wedge Antilles were (up to a point).

Have I played any of the video games? NOPE. And yet, I still know who Cal Kestis is and the basics of his storyline.

The comics? Not read. And yet I know that Vader snapped Fox's neck and Sabé works as an Imperial agent for a while because she trusts Padmé's judgement (major side-eye from me there Sabé).

Most of this comes from reading a lot fiction on AO3. Some of this comes from excellent metanalysis by blogs like @gffa (waves in lurker). Some of it is just... osmosis.

Things I have consumed myself, with my own eyeballs: All 9 mainline movies Rogue One The Mandalorian The Bad Batch

Things I plan to eventually see myself: Andor The Clone Wars maybe Rebels? maybe the new Ahsoka Tano live action show?

In all honesty, you've seen the movies. You're probably good. for like 70? 80? % of my fanfiction. That's 70–80% inside pieces of fanfiction, not 70–80% of my fanfiction pieces.

If you mean my original writing? If I haven't written it well enough for someone to come at it cold, I need to do another draft.

[cybergr4ve]

august plan and rules:

cw- as of writing this:

54.3 kg (~119.7 lbs)

gw- by the end of august/early september:

50 kg (~110 lbs) or lower

rules:

• aim 10k steps everyday (will be a bit lenient with this on very high res days)

• limit of 400 c4ls per day

• fast 2 days per week (or more if i can)

• limit of 50g of carbs per day

• increase protein intake

• SUPPLEMENTS

• 1 gallon (~3.7 mls) of water per day

• meta day every other week or whenever i see fit (meta days ruin shit for me all the time so i’ll either make them lower cal so i don’t end up panicking and triggering a binge or instead i’ll raise my cal limit a bit and then lower it back down)

[hecckyeah]

are we too young for this?

(a star wars / order 66 survivor character study)

.

.

He’s never known peace.

Born into slavery, raised in heat and wind that can melt your skin, he sees the hope of a future that someday he can leave this place. Bring his mom away from here, away from the hunger and the toil and the uncertainty. Away from whips and lashes, burns and chips implanted in their bodies.

But she can’t go with them.

And it plagues him.

He’s taught peace. They try to teach it, and for a while he thinks he understands. He thinks maybe it’ll be okay.

But he has dreams. He has visions about the unknown. About her, so many light years away, so alone and abandoned after he promised he’d try.

And then he falls in love. Against all teachings, but he can’t ignore it.

He falls in love and he knows the consequences.

He can’t find peace.

War is a good distraction. He considers it a cruel punch in the gut from the universe—a glimpse of the consequences of his actions.

He knows it’s not his fault, but he feels responsible.

So he fights. He fights and fights like he was born fighting. Like it’s all he was meant to do.

Isn’t he the chosen one, after all? Shouldn’t it be his responsibility to end this war?

He doesn’t consider his own safety.

He rushes into fights, doesn’t listen to any plans, because maybe if he fights harder than anyone ever has, maybe this war will be over sooner.

They call him the Hero with No Fear, but they don’t know that fear has never stopped plaguing him.

He worries. That much is true.

He worries for his wife. For his unborn child. For his padawan. For his master. For all the brothers who had no say in the war or whether they wanted to fight. Who were born into slavery for the Republic.

(He has more in common with them than anyone knows.)

He fights until he doesn’t recognize himself anymore. He’ll do anything to keep her safe.

.

And then, just like that, it’s over.

.

But for him, the war has only begun.

He never knows peace. It never finds him.

He burns.

Day in and day out, his skin burns like the day on the black earth when all he loved was torn from his hands.

He’s destined to live out his days in indefinite pain. A cruel mockery of the man he once was.

He’s just twenty-three.

And he’s never been more alone.

.

keep reading on ao3