#but.... we need to know about our own lines and boundaries.

[yanoverload]

Hello, just wanted to say that I enjoy your content as always yet as an amputee, I felt extremely uncomfortable when the post about Beau was created where an amputation is seen as a fetish for people. It's not romantic, it's not sexual, it's a real life struggle in the fact that I can't walk again and yet it's seen as something that's romantic. Please educate yourself further next time before posting these types of posts. Thank you for your time

Hello anon, first of all thank you for reaching out.

I completely understand where you are coming from. However, you have to take into consideration I write about yanderes and serial killers. It's dead dove. I put that into the first post of the blog, and describe how this behaviour should never leave fiction.

I also put content warnings in the tags specially so you guys that dislike do not have to see it. I hope that, if it triggers you, you block it for your own well being.

As stated, dark content will exist here, and is used as a metaphor.

I'm so sorry you have to go through these terrible things, I do. But my writing was never meant to be sweet, or correct morally.

Next time, please block the tags and my blog. Or the whole yandere tag in general.

[literaryvein-reblogs]

Writing Notes: Magic Systems

Magic - change wrought through unnatural means

Most fantasy can be placed along a spectrum where there are 3 main points: soft magic at one end, hard magic at the other, and a middle ground between the two.

Soft Magic

Magic that is not well-defined for the reader.

Generally, we don’t understand where the magic comes from, who can use it, or what its limitations are.

Readers can see this type of magic being used.

But they can never anticipate when magic will be used in the plot because they can’t begin to guess how it works.

You can’t break a rule if the rules don’t exist!

Most stories that feature this system will have the magic users be secondary characters, allowing them to avoid explaining exactly how the magic works.

It’s also argued that without knowing everything about the magic, it tends to hold more wonder and excitement for readers.

Hard Magic

Has very rigid boundaries.

Readers know where the magic comes from, how it’s used, who uses it, and what its boundaries and limitations are.

We know the limitations of the characters and can understand why they can’t simply magic themselves out of any particular challenge.

Stories with hard magic systems do not need to avoid the main character being a magic-wielder, as they have the capacity to explain to the reader what is going on.

A lot of writers this system because it gives them very explicit guidelines to follow in their plot and creates some more satisfying pay-offs for readers.

The Middle Ground

The meeting point between the soft and hard systems.

We might understand a bit about the way the magic works, but not all our questions are answered.

While most of the content adheres to rules, these rules aren’t fully explored.

This system relies on the reader’s suspension of disbelief.

The main character can be a magic-wielder or not, and it’s up to the writer to determine when magic will be used in terms of plot.

How to Choose a System

You can and should use these guiding principles to build your magic system. Remember that you don’t have to choose one or the other. Your system can draw from aspects of both. Just stay aware of the weaknesses of the path you choose, and ensure you utilize its strengths.

Use a hard magic system if:

You are going to use magic to solve problems

Your audience is accustomed to the tropes of hard magic

You are okay with jumping through hoops to expand your system

Your magic doesn’t convey a theme

Use a soft magic system if:

You want to convey a theme through magic

You want to create a sense of wonder

You want the ability to expand easily

You want to be accessible to a broader audience

Your magic won’t regularly be used to solve problems

Branches of Magic

Like most writing processes, there isn’t really a correct place to begin designing a magic system. A common, and efficient, place to start, however, is by choosing what type of magic system(s) you wish to employ, such as:

Nature-based magic: water, earth, fire, air, and everything in between

Divination magic: see beyond sight and peer through time and space

Conjuring magic: move objects through space over any distance

Psychic magic: master the world of the mind

Life and death magic: tap into the very forces of life, death, and un-death with this surprisingly versatile collection

Animal- or creature-exclusive magic: some creatures just do it better

Magitech systems: the blurring lines of sorcery and science give magic a next-gen, high-tech flair

Eclectic magic: it doesn’t have to be “real” magic to have a real effect

Uncommon magic systems: the unsung heroes of fantasy magic

AALC Method

How to create your own magic system using the AALC (Appearance, Abilities, Limits & Cost) Method

Appearance

What the magic looks like

Makes the world feel more exotic

Can cause problems for characters but cannot solve them

Usually tied to a character arc

Abilities

What the magic does

Points calculated based on magical effect, range, number of people affected, and duration

Characters have a finite amount of fuel (mana) to use abilities

More powerful abilities require more fuel

The fuel does not have to be overt for the audience to understand

If points not overt, cannot solve conflicts unless a cost system is added

Limits

Unlimited uses of magical abilities

Abilities stratified in codified levels defined by their limits

The more the levels' abilities and limits are known by the audience, the more they can be used to solve conflicts

Focused on clever uses of abilities against stronger foes

Cost system can be added to enhance dramatic moments

Cost

Costs must be greater than or equal to abilities to make them dramatically satisfying

Costs can include time, exhaustion, materials, sanity, morality, etc.

Adds dilemma to magic by forcing characters to make choices

The greater the character's sacrifice, the more audience satisfaction at conflict resolution

Each system builds on the previous ones, so that Cost Systems use all four, while Point Systems only care about Abilities and Appearance.

Multiple systems can exist within the same story, and systems can harden over the course of the story.

The Force, for instance, has been a Soft, Point, Level, and Cost System depending on who wrote it at the time.

SOFT SYSTEMS (Appearance Only)

Window Dressing - magic for secondary characters; can instigate conflict but cannot solve it; e.g., Gandalf

Soft Villain - No explanation or upper limits needed; makes villains more powerful to make heroes greater underdogs; e.g., The Emperor

Chosen One - Unknown power keeps hero safe throughout story; can be considered plot armor unless earned through character arc

Sort Hero Incomplete - Curse or positive ability the character cannot control; hero still learning limits of ability at story's end; powers and arc continued in next adventure

Soft Hero Complete - Hero embraces ability to complete arc and solve main conflict; magic must become harder in subsequent adventures

POINT SYSTEMS (Appearance + Abilities)

Points Opaque - Non-explicit reservoir of energy fuels powers; cannot solve main problems without cost option because characters finding hidden energy reserve feels like deus ex machina

Points Hard - Both abiliites and points system must be explicit like in video games; becomes about resource management; easy to understand but takes sense of wonder out of magic

LEVEL SYSTEMS (Appearance + Abilities + Limits)

Soft Level Static - Unchanging power without upper limits; cannot solve conflicts because feels repetitive; power must be used cleverly; e.g., Wolverine's healing factor

Soft Level Advancing - Increased powers or new powers with unknown limits; cannot solve conflicts unless tied to a character arc like Soft Hero Complete, at which point "unlocks" new abilities

Hard Level Static - Unchanging abilities with clear-cut limits; can solve conflicts so long as setup is properly seeded, usually resulting in sacrifice; e.g., Genie

Hard Level Advancing - Well-established abilities with limits; can solve conflicts based upon clever uses of abilities, usually against stronger foes; e.g., Airbender

COST SYSTEMS (Appearance + Abilities + Limits + Cost)

Static Cost - Well-established cost remains consistent for each use of ability; can solve conflicts since based on personal sacrifice

Cost Fluctuating - Costs change based upon dramatic need; costs must be greater than or equal to ability; possible costs include lost time, money, sanity, health, memory, life, morality, etc.

Sources: 1 2 3 4 5 6 ⚜ Writing Notes ⚜ Writing Resources PDFs Writing Notes: Magic System ⚜ Fictional Items; Poisons ⚜ Fantasy

[itgetzweird08]

“You’re nervous..”

You said so matter of factly, your head resting on Bakugou’s chest. He grunted, opening one eye to look down at your face. “I can tell,” you continued “Because you didn’t clean your room before we laid down… and you didn’t do your reps. You only miss those when you’re sick or when you’re so nervous you can’t focus. And I know you aren’t sick so…” he scoffed, closing his eye again. “You should be a goddamn detective if this hero shit don’t work out.” You chuckled, but his joke didn’t distract you. “Talk to me Kats…you’re nervous about tomorrow, aren’t you?”

He stayed silent, and for a moment you thought prying was a bad idea. You had only been dating for four months, since Christmas, and you didn’t want to over step any still fresh boundaries. But Katsuki sighed, shrugging softly. He figured, if there was anyone he could be real with, it was you. Plus, he was trying to learn to communicate a little better anyways.

“Yeah. ‘M nervous. Not cuz I don’t think we’ll win, but because of…you.”

You sat up, looking at him confused. “Because of me?” He huffed, sitting up and facing you. “Yeah- I know we’ll kick ass. We got the top heroes, Mr. Aizawa, and both of our classes. Even though they ain’t as strong as me, everyone can put up a fucking fight. But..I’m worried something’s going to happen to you. What if they put you on the front lines, or the villains manage to get free and end up hurting you? Taking you? What then? What if…I can’t protect you?”

You frowned hearing his worries, and at some point during the confession, took his hand. But your frown slowly turned into a soft smile, and you ran your thumb across his knuckles in an attempt too soothe him. “Kats… do you remember what you said when you confessed to me?”

He snorted, “Of course I fucking remember. I said ‘go out with me you damn nerd, it’s getting cold out here.’” You shook your head, nudging him with your shoulder. “Before that, dummy. You said-“ He cut you off “ I said ‘I’ve fucking liked you since the fitness test. I thought you were beautiful, capable, smart, and stronger than the rest of the extras in this goddamn school and if there’s anyone who can give me a run for my money to be the top hero, it’s you. And I think it’s still true’” He quoted himself, and you kissed his cheek, taking his face into your hands. “Exactly— you know I’m capable of protecting myself and putting up a fight. Trust me, I’m concerned as hell for you too, but I need you to focus on the mission and not me. I’ll be okay. We’re both gonna kick some villain ass and I promise once it’s all over I’ll be right back here laying next to you and watching that cheesy fucking all might movie you love so much.”

He growled, grabbing a pillow from behind him and gently whacking you with it. “It ain’t fucking cheesy! It’s classic fucking cinema”

You grabbed your own pillow and hit him back, giggling all the while. “Mmhm! Of course it is.”

“I’m serious Y/N!”

It was moments like this that kept Bakugo brave as the battle began. And it was moments like this that you both thought about as he took his dying breaths. He was so worried about protecting you, but you couldn’t protect him.

Pity.

——— —-

I have no remorse :) Anyways im starting to do requests! So if you have an idea for me, go ahead and put it in my asks <3

[quarterlifekitty]

I’m obsessed with your selectively mute reader with soap and ghost🥹not sure this gives you any inspiration to write more but what if reader finally says something else to him after some sort of misunderstanding whereby soap thinks he may have scared her away (for being too desperate or something) and she reassures him with the help of ghost that she’s still very much into him. Plz ignore if this is shite

😭 I will not ignore this is not shite and in fact…. I am in love with you

Soap loses sight of himself a little after a long deployment. He comes home with Ghost (he practically lives with you two anyways). You give them both a little wave and a smile before turning back to what you’re tending at the stove. A gentle hi being heard between the sizzling of peppers in the pan.

Ghost heads straight for the bathroom— he likes to basically scrub himself with scalding water before touching you after a deployment.

“Our bonnie,” Soap purrs, coming up behind you to embrace you, unthinkingly putting his face in the nape of your neck. He bites a little, just gently, at your pulse— just to feel the blood thrum beneath the skin. His hands splay themselves on your stomach, snaking beneath your shirt. A sudden pop of oil makes him remember himself.

“I— I shouldnnae done that. Shoulda’ asked you and… Without LT here, I—“ he blusters. Walks off before you have a chance to reach out.

Sits himself out back on the porch like he’s put himself in the doghouse. He knows your boundaries are delicate, and he went and acted like you were his. When you hadn’t talked about anything like that. Hell, you barely talk to him. He gets into his own mind, thinking maybe he needs to stop inserting himself into whatever good thing you and Simon have going— fuck, how could he have felt so entitled to you?

He’s brought from his brooding when Simon steps out the back door. He makes sound on purpose, wanting to be noticed. You poke your head out and follow suit after a few moments.

“Birdie n’ I got somethin’ we wanna tell you, Johnny.” Soap’s life is flashing before his eyes. The best thing he had going for him— and he’s fucked it.

“Don’t go,” you say impulsively, before catching yourself and pausing. You rehearse the line you wanted a few more times internally before it comes out. “We… want you to be with us. Please?”

Ghost keeps a hand at your back while you wrap your arms around Johnny.

“Go on, mate. Don’t keep us waitin’.”

Soap’s snapped out of his stupor. Pulls Simon in— gentle enough that the slightest resistance would stop it from working, and wraps his arms around you both.

“Hen, Si…. You kiddin’? I’ve been yours. And I’ll still be, for as long and ye can stand it.”

[annabelle--cane]

this is a difficult thing to have conversations about because it provokes really strong reactions in people for completely valid and understandable reasons, so please feel free to hit da bricks on this post whenever you want, but I do want to try and analyse the jonmartin slaps. we get three across 160, 169, and 172, and a line addressing it in 173, and then it never happens or comes up again. none of them come out of nowhere, and they mostly fly under the radar until 173 because they all broadly fit the "slapping someone out of a trance in an emergency" trope, but each of them slowly decreases in urgency.

the first time, the apocalypse starts up and martin comes back to find a passed out jon, can't wake him by making noise, and strikes him in a panic. this makes sense, this is a man who has entered a supernatural coma before and martin had no idea what was going on, so of course he'd jump to something desperate.

the second time, they're in a burning building, jude arrives while jon is still mid-statement, and when making noise doesn't work martin slaps him out of it. this makes sense, they were there for jude and if jon didn't come back to himself then she likely would have hurt them, though martin knew that her powers against them were limited.

the third time, jon is getting pulled into into a repeating statement instead of coming out on his own like usual, so martin speaks once or twice to try and get his attention, and then slaps him out of it. this... again, it makes sense, jon was getting trapped, but there was no immediate peril like before, martin just got freaked out and wanted to leave quickly. he seems to get that it was harsh because he apologizes for it, but they don't linger at all, martin just starts in on them having to leave immediately.

the last time it's mentioned is when they're on night street, during what is one of their most intense arguments. jon tries to talk about the suffering of the children there for longer than he needs to in order to make a point, martin cuts him off, and he pointedly says, "thank you for not hitting me this time." it never happens or is brought up again.

to our knowledge, jon doesn't say anything about the slapping until 173. he's not a guy who's known for speaking up when things upset him, he was amiably working with daisy within about a week of her trying to kill him, so it makes sense that he would just sit with this comparatively more minor thing. however, I do think it's relevant to note that, at this point in their relationship, martin will sometimes voice his feelings and boundaries (not listening to statements, not consenting to mind reading, worrying when jon expresses discomfort with his body), while jon doesn't. from the couple of times he does talk about his feelings this season, I think that tendency comes a few places: he has a hard time being aware of his emotions at all, he doesn't know how to evaluate his emotions' importance in comparison to others', he assumes his emotions are obvious and thus people already act with full knowledge of them, and the topic is just hard to make himself talk about. from what he says in 173, I think the slaps bothered him the entire time, but he made himself be fine with it until he was upset with martin for unrelated reasons and finally let it out.

as for martin's side, I do not think the slaps came from any kind of suppressed desire to hurt or wield power over jon. we've seen him when he's angry at jon, this isn't how he acts, he gets shouty and indignant but never violent. I'd even go as far as to say he doesn't do it in 173 because he's genuinely upset at jon and the situation they're in, and it would never occur to him to deliberately inflict pain on someone he cares about to assert control over them. the connecting line between all of them is fear from something that he wants jon to help him handle. the apocalypse starts, he is stuck inside one of his worst nightmares, and he's paranoid that the web took control of him. he's someone who is "always following, never leading" (170), and he gets tunnel vision when something scares him and his "leader" isn't there.

jon did need to be pulled out of all three of those situations, and words proved insufficient, and maybe a quick jolt of pain was the only thing that could have worked, but martin doesn't seem to consider what that would feel like from jon's pov. in my experience of relationships, if there's ever an unavoidable emergency where you do actually need to cross a line that you never would otherwise, you talk about it afterwards. you do a debrief where you say "I'm really sorry about that, I didn't see another way, I'll try and be better prepared next time." they do this for problems they have later on (177, 198), but martin doesn't do that here. jon's point-of-view just doesn't seem to occur to him. when jon expresses discomfort, he drops the tactic without a word; later, when he needs to anchor jon in the panopticon, he talks him through it before it can get too far. so, it's not about a lack of care for jon's feelings.

I think it comes down to a few things: a) his occasional tendency to treat people as a means to an ends and not think about their perspective. he's so glued to putting others first most of the time that when he stops, he can't find a middle ground and forgets that other people can have feelings about his actions. b) his problems with conceiving of himself as a person of any importance who is capable of doing anything, especially of doing harm. as a concept, "hurting jon" is the thing he would least like to do in the whole world, it is his nightmare scenario and literally the culminating moment of his tragedy. he finds it almost unthinkable, so the idea that he does it casually when he's scared doesn't cross his mind. one of his central worries at this point is that jon is now so powerful that he no longer needs martin, how could he hurt someone like that? he's not anywhere near a comparable level of importance, it's not like he has his own domain that he's not aware of because jon told him about it and he immediately rejected the information. he's powerless and could never bring himself to hurt the man he loves.

I just. think it's an interesting microcosm of some of the lows of their relationship. once the problem is discovered martin instantly takes the note and doesn't put it on jon to explain himself further or assuage his guilt, they are willing and able to adapt, but it still comes from some of their bedrock flaws. martin doesn't understand that he can hurt people, and jon has such an inflated understanding of his capacity to hurt people that it sabotages his self-worth and his ability to respond to pain and displeasure.

[liesmyth]

@moscca you're right and you should say it! Here's a really great compilation of Taz quotes I've been keeping in mind

From an interview where she says that Lovecraft was one of her main inspirations, talks about her relationship with horror vs. sff as a genre author, and wanting to find relatable heroines in horror lit.

I didn’t write Gideon the Ninth for the characters—I wrote it entirely for the structure. I wanted to tell a very specific story, and I needed everything to serve that story.

I want people to realise there are no boundaries. I also want to release people from having to take their universe entirely seriously, if they don’t want to. Science fiction and fantasy reflects ourselves, our anxieties, our joys. I’m just writing to amuse myself, as per usual.

I am writing for my younger self and it would be disgusting of me to try to teach her anything.

(& other quotes from that same interview)

Although love and forgiveness aren’t necessarily the same thing either, Gideon’s frankly divine ability to forgive is a huge core of the novel. [...] Forgiveness is almost the electrical current being able to transmit through love.

The way I personally stay true to the story I started down on is to give myself permission to not teach anyone anything. [...] I know that a lot of people do take enormous pleasure and relief in lines or phrases or ideas from stories that ring true to their own lives, but it’s important for me that I tell a story and that I’m not writing Chicken Soup for the Necromantic Soul.

...the God of the Locked Tomb IS a man; he IS the Father and the Teacher; it’s an inherently masc role played by someone who has an uneasy relationship himself to playing a Biblical patriarch. John falls back on hierarchies and roles because they’re familiar even when he’s struggling not to. But the divine in the Locked Tomb is essentially feminine on multiple axes.

It seems to me that most books by anyone female-adjacent have an expectation that they will comfort the uncomfortable and discomfit the comfortable etc., whereas a guy can just tell an adventure story and be done with it. This ties in with an idea that I think nowadays that good art is moral and bad art is immoral: i.e. if a story is good it must somehow be beautiful on the moral scale. We go looking for why the art we love is moral even if the art we love is a donut.

[mediumsizedfountain]

It's been years, but I'm back on my Star Wars shit.

I think the thing I love most about Oshamir as a ship is how much of a female power fantasy it is, and the show unapologetically leans into that aspect.

Like, Qimir as an undeniably powerful and dangerous man, but he very rapidly started shifting into the more submissive person in the relationship.

He's not a tyrant or a fascist or a warlord or anything like that which could be triggering and icky. He's a lone wolf committed to his own freedom and making his own path as he sees fit. He's a killer, but only when those deaths either protect/defend his freedom and independence, or advance the cause of his power and his personal journey.

HOWEVER, bro is also clearly lonely and touch starved, and willing to take on fake personas in order to find something resembling friendship.

This is where the female power fantasy comes in.

The minute he meets Osha, he's so immediately taken with her that he drops his fake persona and nearly reveals himself. Then when he is ready to kill everyone else to protect himself, he goes out of his way to avoid killing Osha, flirts with her mid battle, keeps checking that she's paying attention when he's talking. The man is crushing on her big time. He even seems impressed every time she fights against him.

By the end of the battle, when he finds her unconscious in the forest, our boy is already halfway in love.

What better power fantasy could there be? Not only does the most deadly man in the galaxy not want to hurt her, but he's totally smitten when all she's done is point weapons at him.

The fantasy only gets more intoxicating from there. Not only does he tuck her into bed and tend her wound, this guy COOKS HER SOUP and respectfully sets up his makeshift bed across the room.

From the moment she picks up his lightsaber, Osha starts losing her fear of him, because it's obvious this dweeb is just peacocking by showing off his nice body and his artfully arranged tendrils of hair and flirting non stop.

The way he literally puts his life in her hands and remains unflinchingly honest and straightforward with her while helping her work through her complicated emotions is only icing on the cake. Not to mention he keeps inviting her to join him, but every time she rejects him he just quietly pouts and respectfully backs down.

I'm not going into detail about how he follows her around like a devoted puppy for the rest of the season while also respecting her personal boundaries.

The bottom line is: Leslye Headland created the ultimate female power fantasy by giving Osha an overpowered monster who instantly falls for her, willingly and eagerly defangs himself, devoted himself to her needs, and submits himself to her choices.

It's also perfectly clear that he can still transform into a monster, but now he's OSHA'S monster. And he's also Osha's biggest fanboy and her eager emotional support person.

Leslye just knows what the girlies like and served it up to us on a platter.

We are so fed. Now just hoping Disney has the guts to keep trying something new by giving us a second season.

[neil-gaiman]

hello Neil! I’m not sure what time it is where you are or when you’ll receive this. I just wanted to tell you something I really appreciate about good omens.

Thank you so much for showing Nina and Maggie’s relationship the way you did. I feel like I’m our society today women are expected to be married or having kids or if they’re not either they’re expected to be some entrepreneur of sorts. But you showed two women that are just living normal lives, sure Nina is in a struggling relationship but that’s not the only part about her character we get to see. Personally I see their relationship and their lives to be empowering as a women myself because the way I have seen “empowering women” portrayed in the media is in a “she doesn’t need a man she can do it all on her own” sense when just getting through my day without breaking down can be the most amazing or strongest thing I do that day. You also showed that whatever age you’re at everyone has their insecurities and you don’t have to fully figure out who you are or what your boundaries are at any specific time in your life because in the end we’re just people. Also thank you for not making the lesbians in the show the background characters that only exist to help the main character, thank you for actually giving them their own story line. And thank you for leaving them on the note they were left on, I thought it was perfectly done because we can see they still care for each other but they know what’s best in their relationship.

That’s all I wanted to say, I’m not sure if this made sense but I just wanted to thank you.

You are so welcome.

[mattsobvimyfav]

roommate (Matthew Sturniolo)

pt 5

“Chris, Ill be right back. I need to get my charger and my laptop” I told Chris getting up in the middle of our movie night.

Big mistake.

I stopped dead in my tracks. There, on Matt’s bed, was Matt fully fucking some random girl. They both froze the moment I walked in, her squealing and yanking the blanket up to cover herself, while Matt just stared at me, wide-eyed and half panicked.

“Oh,” I said flatly, blinking. “Uh, carry on, I guess.”

I dumped my bag onto my bed like nothing had happened and pulled out my laptop.

“Y/N, what the hell?!” Matt’s voice shot up an octave, full of anger.

“What?” I asked, turning to look at him like he was the one out of line. “I live here.”

“You couldn’t knock?!” he snapped, gesturing wildly like I was the crazy one.

“Why would I knock? This is my room, too,” I said with a shrug, setting my laptop on my desk and looking for my charger. “And for the record, you didn’t put a sock on the door or text me, so… not my problem.”

The girl on his bed looked like she wanted to melt into the floor. “Uh, maybe I should go,” she mumbled, clutching the blanket around her.

“No, no,” Matt said quickly, turning to her. “You don’t have to—”

“Honestly, you probably should,” I cut in, sitting down on my bed.

“Y/N!” Matt growled, shooting daggers at me with his eyes.

“What? I don’t care,” I said, leaning back against the wall. “I just think you’re overreacting. You’re mad at me for walking into my own room. Make it make sense.”

Matt groaned, running a hand through his messy hair, clearly frustrated. “This isn’t about you ‘not caring,’” he snapped. “It’s about boundaries! Privacy! Common courtesy! Ever heard of it?”

I snorted. “Oh, you mean like texting your roommate before having sex in your shared dorm room? Yeah, I’ve heard of it.”

The girl fidgeted awkwardly, pulling her clothes on under the blanket. “It’s fine. I’ll just… go. Call me later, Matt?”

“He won’t, dont get your hopes up!” I said, as she hurriedly gathered her things and practically bolted out the door.

Once we were alone, Matt turned to me, still looking pissed. “You’re unbelievable,” he muttered, throwing himself back onto his bed.

I raised an eyebrow. “I’m unbelievable? Dude, you’re the one mad at me for not psychically knowing you were fucking some random bitch.”

“It’s called knocking, arent you supposed to be over there fucking Chris?” he grumbled.

“It’s called communication,” I shot back, ignoring his comment about Chris. “Look, I’m not the one making this weird. You’re the one who turned it into a whole thing. Just let me know next time, okay? A simple heads-up.”

Matt glared at the ceiling, clearly still irritated, but he didn’t argue.

“Glad we’re on the same page,” I said, smirking, packing my bag up

He groaned and grabbed his pillow, shoving it over his face.

I stormed down the hall, going back to Chris’ room. I stormed in ready to tell him about the scene I just walked in on

“Y/N,” he said, setting his laptop aside.

“Oh, you have no idea what just happened,” I said. “I just walked into our room and caught your brother mid fuck”

Chris burst out laughing. “You caught Matt hooking up? Please tell me you made it awkward on purpose.”

“I didn’t have to,” I said, crossing my arms. “He flipped out as if I was in the wrong. Like, sorry for walking into my own room?”

Chris shook his head, still chuckling. “So what’d you do?”

“I didn’t even care! I just grabbed my stuff and ignored it, but apparently, that wasn’t good enough. He started yelling about privacy and boundaries and then kicked the girl out.”

Chris snorted. “So where is he now?”

“Who knows?” I said, rolling my eyes. “Probably planning his next big speech about how I’m a bitch.”

As if summoned by my words, the door suddenly flew open, and in stomped Matt, his face flushed with anger.

“Are you serious right now, Y/N?” he barked.

I leaned back, unimpressed. “Oh, look, it’s the whore himself. Did you follow me here just to yell some more?”

Chris blinked, looking between us. “Uh, should I grab popcorn for this?”

Matt ignored him, glaring at me. “You had no right to barge in and humiliate me like that!”

“Oh my god, humiliate you?” I shot back, standing up. “Matt, I didn’t even say anything! I walked in, saw what was happening, and minded my business. You’re the one who started freaking out!”

“You didn’t knock!” he shouted, his voice cracking with frustration. “How hard is it to respect someone’s privacy?”

“Privacy?” I scoffed, stepping closer to him. “In a shared dorm room? You’ve got to be kidding me, Matt. If you wanted privacy, maybe you should’ve locked the door. Or, I don’t know, texted me.”

“You’re unbelievable,” he spat, shaking his head. “You act like it’s not a big deal, but it is! You embarrassed me, and now you’re in here laughing about it with Chris?”

“Oh no that’s actually exactly what I’m doing”

Chris, still sitting on his bed, raised a hand. “Uh, just to be clear, I’m totally fine with this. Keep going.”

Matt shot him a glare before turning back to me. “You’re so fucking selfish, Y/N! It’s always about what you want and think its okay.”

“Are you kidding me right now?” I snapped. “You’re the one being dumb right now, not seeing how fucking stupid this entire argument is”

Chris let out a low whistle.

Matt ignored him, his jaw tightening. “You don’t get it, do you? You don’t take anything seriously unless it’s something that affects you.”

“Great, Matt, please tell me everything wrong with me,” I said, my voice rising.

“You're just such a fucking bitch, and you keep this innocent attitude going like you do nothing wrong! You think your hot shit, but your not news flash, your own mom wouldn’t even stay with you,” he snapped, standing up and getting in my face.

I stared at Matt, my chest tight. “Wow,” I said quietly “You think that?”

Matt’s face faltered for a second like he hadn’t meant to say it, but then his jaw set, and he didn’t take it back.

“Okay,” I said, grabbing my bag and heading for the door. “Message received, Matt. Loud and clear.”

“Y/N, wait—” Chris started, but I was already gone, slamming the door behind me.

I didn’t look back, even as I heard Matt’s voice faintly through the door, arguing with Chris. My mind was too busy replaying his words, cutting deeper than I cared to admit.

tag -

@ch0llies @hanta-seros-wifey @namelesssav @2muchofaslvt

[genderkoolaid]

Examples of transandrophobia: i've seen sections of Leslie Feinberg's piece "Sisterhood: Make it Real" passed around this site for literally years, and TODAY was the first time that I saw the whole thing and learned that ze called out cisfeminists in it for getting rid of trans men the second they started transitioning. Like I always thought it was a good piece but I had literally NO IDEA that it talked about trans men because that part was never included in posts about it, even when those posts were calling out cisfeminism for being transphobic. I'm just gobsmacked tbh

This is a great point!

Honestly more people need to read that full chapter. There's a lot of really good points.

Amongst other things, Leslie talks about how "women good men bad" is poor feminism:

Of course, as a result of the oppression women face growing up in such a violently anti-woman environment, some women draw a line between women as allies and men as enemies. While it’s understandable that an individual might do so out of fear, this approach fails as theory. It lumps John Brown and John D. Rockefeller together as enemies and Sojourner Truth and Margaret Thatcher together as allies. This view of who to trust and who to dread will not keep women safe or keep the movement on course.

How feminine men are victims of gender oppression:

The oppression of feminine men is an important one to me, since I consider drag queens to be my sisters. I’ve heard women criticize drag queens for “mocking women’s oppression” by imitating femininity to an extreme, just as I’ve been told that I am imitating men. Feminists are justifiably angry at women’s oppression - so am I! I believe, however, that those who denounce drag queens aim their criticism at the wrong people. This misunderstanding doesn’t take gender oppression into account. For instance, to criticize male-to-female drag performers, but leave out a discussion of gender oppression, lumps drag queen RuPaul together with men like actor John Wayne! RuPaul is a victim of gender oppression, as well as of racism.

How masculine women are assumed to know less about gender oppression:

But I grew up very masculine, so the complex and powerful set of skills that feminine girls developed to walk safely through the world were useless to me. I had to learn a very different set of skills, many of them martial. While we both grew up as girls, our experiences were dissimilar because our gender expressions were very different. Masculine girls and women face terrible condemnation and brutality including sexual violence - for crossing the boundary of what is “acceptable” female expression. But masculine women are not assumed to have a very high consciousness about fighting women’s oppression, since we are thought to be imitating men.

And as you said, how trans men deserve access to women's and lesbian's spaces without having their transmasculinity ignored or seen as being butch-in-denial:

And our female-to-male transsexual brothers have a right to feel welcome at women’s movement events or lesbian bars. However, that shouldn’t feed into to misconception that all female-to-male transsexuals were butches who just couldn’t deal with their oppression as lesbians. If that were true, then why does a large percentage of post-transition transsexual men identify as gay and bisexual, which may have placed them in a heterosexual or bisexual status before their transition? There are transsexual men who did help build the women’s and lesbian communities, and still have a large base of friends there. They should enjoy the support of women on their journey. Doesn’t everyone want their friends around them at a time of great change? And women could learn a great deal about what it means to be a man or a woman from sharing the lessons of transition.

Not that "trans women belong in feminism" wouldn't be a good point on its own, but people's selectivity with which parts of that chapter they share definitely warrant scrutiny.

[guywrestlingaddiction]

Frot Fighters: Dan the Man v Jax Thirio (wrestler4hire.com)

Sometimes there are no losers in a wrestling match. There are times when everyone gets a little of what they want, whether they'd like to admit it or not. Take Dan the Man and Jax Thirio for example. 

Dan the Man v Jax Thirio (wrestler4hire.com)

SPOILER ALERT: I highly recommend viewing this match in its entirety before reading this post.

So let's begin with the "Fight": 

We start with Jax eye humping a fellow wrestler in the locker room when the new guy has the audacity to bounce his pecs at him.  Maybe Dan has something to prove, maybe he's used to intimidating other guys with that incredible body of his, or maybe this is all completely in Jax's head - all we know is that he's come to teach the better built, younger stud, a painful lesson in manners.  

Jax: You just got here.  Dan: You look pretty easy to me. 

Without much space, Dan isn't able to use that height advantage and plus he's sufficiently intimidated by the older wrestler to reach his potential.  The guy is a total stud and he can outmuscle anyone, but in this situation, he's taken down a few notches.  

Jax coping a feel between rounds.

There are some half hearted grappling rounds with Dan shoving that beefy body around, but Jax is just too good.  In the end we are met with a sweat drenched Dan beaten by a barely winded Jax.  

Dan does have some fight in him though, at times putting that body to use and outmuscling Jax.  At one point, the rookie seems destined to pin his opponent only to be overcome with lust and get carried away by some other action.  

Dan going for the pin gets a little distracted before victory. '

But by the end, we all knew that Jax would conquer Dan and get him to admit that being owned is what he wanted all along.  Dan's chronic whimpers give away that he needs this.  We finally come to find out that our dashing Dan likes the feeling of a superior man dominating him just too much.  

Jax: You like that? Yeah? You like being my little bitch? Dan: *Whimper* *Whimper* ... yeah

Jax: Say it.  Say you're the boss Dan: You're ... the ... boss

Then we'll get to the Frot: 

Whatever wrestling there was eventually gives way to the frot.  Jax pushes the boundaries further and further - grabbing on to that body longer than he needs to, putting a hold on tighter than necessary, all the while making Dan moan and whimper.  Eventually, the line is crossed and we've gone from wrestling to a test of dominance.  

At one point Jax subdued by lust completely forgets about wrestling and truly begins to take in all that manliness.  Yes, Jax wants to win the match but some forces are just to primal to overcome.  

Jax can't fight back temptation any longer and needs to embrace this

There's more than one way to win the match and maybe Dan can tame his aggressor through lust.

Not content with winning, Jax goes into dom territory and forcing the beautiful stud to suck on his sweaty pitts.  Commence the worship...

Jax: You like those sweaty pitts? Dan: *Gag* *Gag*

------- So there you have it. This is a solid frot match where both wrestlers' deep fantasy's come to light.  Jax gets his very own cocky stud to toy with and Dan gets owned in a way he secretly longed for.  Dan may go through life having men and women swoon over him but deep down his intense craving to be dominated is eagerly filled by Jax.  Wrestling as always, tells an intimate story and this time Dan and Jax both got the endings they never knew they craved. 

[iamnmbr3]

ok so i'm rereading Order of the Phoenix and what's up with Draco being so... helpful??

Like back in the Goblet of Fire he's litterally telling the golden trio to hide Hermione because she's visibly (how could you tell tho?) a muggleborn;

then in OotP in the train to Hogwarts he comes to say hi to Harry and hints that Sirius had been spotted by Lucius (the dogging line);

THEN he goes all the way to lean on Harry during Care of magical creatures to say how Hagrid's being messing with stuff to big for him.

HUH??

Why on earth would you say that to Harry? To taunt him? But he could have done it without revealing precious intelligence passed by his father!!

Like, to me it makes sense if it is intended as Drarry moments, because he has a crush and can't help but being invested in Harry's life, and accidentally being helpful to Harry, but we know that it wasn't the terf meant.

And we clearly see how easily Draco can make Potter angry(their interaction during Potions and Quidditch, Potter stinks badges, Weasley is our king ecc.)

It seems like he's trying to help in a reeeeaally backward way, but at the same time he's enjoying himself so much that they do not translate as helping hand.

Also to me it kinda falls flat on a Doylist perspective because the golden trio would have hidden in the forest without him, and they were already worring about Sirius and Hagrid so...

What do you think about it??

P.s.: i reaaally love your metas about hp universe, can't get enough of it <3

yeah, it’s wild. I get why while the books were still being written some people thought he was secretly undercover trying to help the order or something.

I don’t think at that point he was consciously trying to betray his side yet. I think that didn’t happen till book 7. But at the same time, I do think two things were going on.

First of all, he always craves Harry’s attention and does everything you can to get it. And he also really wants to be a part of her story. Harry has other things going on his life and till book 6, Draco isn’t the center of his focus (although he does actually think about and watch him a lot - something Draco doesn’t realize but would be thrilled if he knew). From the moment that Harry rejects his friendship Draco looks for ways to insert himself back into Harry’s life. Dangling his knowledge of things Harry is interested in is one way of doing that. And it also puts him on Harry’s level - in his mind - because his secondary involvement with the Death Eaters mirrors Harry’s secondary involvement with the Order.

And also in his mind shows how cool and serious and important Draco is. He’s always creating the perfect set up for an enemies to lovers story but Harry won’t buy it. Like I think of his mind he think Harry’s going to be like OK I really wanna know what’s going on so I’ll make a deal with you and that will evolve into a grudging friendship. Of course Harry won’t do that while Draco holds the attitudes he holds. Nor as I’m sure he also hopes is Harry going to be like wow I realize you’re so important and special and well-connected and I was wrong to turn down a friendship with you. Draco desperately wants Harry to need and respect him. (Only when he grows beyond this post book 7, and learn to except Harry’s boundaries and to change his own behavior will he actually earn either of those things.)

Secondly though, I think it’s really notable that most of these instances end up helping Harry to either learn information about someone he cares about or protect someone he cares about. The example at the World Cup is really striking. Hermione is specifically in danger because Lucius is one of the Death Eaters under the hoods and he knows who she is and likely intends to target her. Obviously, Draco isn’t going to directly betray his father, but he does warn her that if she stays where she is, she will be recognized and attacked.

Draco at that point kind of likes the idea of violence but he doesn’t like the reality of it and I think a part of him is uncomfortable with what would happen if she actually got caught so although he doesn’t acknowledge it even to himself, that’s the basis of the words. Plus he knows was Harry will fight to the death to protect her. Something similar is probably also a factor in what he says about Sirius. Even his comments about Hagrid to at least revealed that he is alive In addition to dangling more knowledge if Harry will talk to him and pay attention to him - which he won’t.

[givethemsmut]

Cody Rhodes x Reader

Made of Gold | Chapter Three

His breathy voice was hard to miss when I stood in the doorway of his large bathroom. “Hey! I just need a few minuets,” he spoke about the water not realizing I was close by.

I watched his hand work over his length, pumping his first against himself, out of breath.

Unplanned, I pulled the shirt off I had just put on, my hair was still damp at the ends when Cody finally realized I was standing in the room. “Hey, just give me a few minuets. I’m just finishing up.”

“You don’t have to hide it, Cody. It’s okay. We’re gonna be comfortable with each other by the time I’m eighteen. Completely naked I opened the shower door and stepped inside with him.

Keeping my distance he covered himself, still sporting the look of being on the edge. That wild look in his eyes that was almost animalistic and willing to do whatever it takes to come.

Standing under the hot water I let it pour on my chest before turning around to face him. Cody’s mouth attacked mine, my mouth parted instantly for his tongue to tangle with mine.

Making out I could feel how hard he was against my body as he slightly pulled away. “Hey. Hey, we can’t. You’re too drunk, I can’t take you like that.”

I couldn’t lie, I was just over the line of buzzed and my body was trying extra hard not to slip in the shower. “Don’t stop, I want to watch.”

His arm around me dragged me to his body before he spun me around so my back was against the shower wall. “Your first time isn’t going to be drunk in a shower baby.”

“What if I touch myself too?” I whispered my words against his lips as my hand dragged down my own body, his eyes following.

Lazily our mouths touched and I could feel every inch of him pulsing against my innocent skin. “Fuck. I’m jealous of your damn fingers.”

His hand latched around himself, dragging his hand painfully slow as we both watched each other touch ourselves. “I don’t care if I remember tomorrow. Well, just do it again. Please.”

Giving up like I always did when I touched myself I wrapped my arms around his neck still whimpering like it physically hurt to not have him touch me. Pushing my hips down with his other hand silently begging me to not push the boundary.

Pinning my leg against his hip I felt his knuckles brush my pussy with every stroke sending me painfully close to the edge. It wasn’t until his tip collided with my clit that I gasped into his neck, praying he lost control.

His hand picked up speed and I continued to beg as his groans only strung together more closely. I didn’t have to be expirence to know he was close to coming. “Cody,” I almost chanted his name like a mantra.

“You’re shaking, fuck.” His words came out between each breath, audibly strained, when he pinning me against the shower wall and came all over his hand between my legs. “Fuckkk.”

Almost collapsing against me, I clung to his body, relishing the feeling when I felt the pads of his fingers bullying my clit. Jumping at his touch, he kept me trapped against the wall until I unraveled for him.

Muffling my moans into his shoulder I came all over his fingers.

“Do you know how hard it was to control myself?” His voice came out as a loud whisper, still trying to compose his own breath.

“Oh… my… god. It’s gonna be a long six months.” I confessed still trying to control my shaking legs when he helped me out of the shower. Taking his hand he reach for a towel wrapping it around me and generating friction with his hands against me to keep me warm.

“I’m fucked. It’s gonna be the hardest thing I do.”

I couldn’t sleep, barely a wink, when I dared myself not to move. I didn’t want to bother him when I felt his body scoop me back against his body, nudging right into him like I belonged. I whispered, “Cody? Are you awake?”

Groaning still half asleep was the only response I got. “Please don’t make me go home… I hate it there.” My voice was just below a whisper when Cody didn’t respond at all and I forced myself to go to sleep.

The next morning I woke up in his big bed alone, in his shirt that smelled like him. Wandering downstairs, I peered around corners for him and came up empty. Flipping my phone over, low battery assaulting the screen, enough to see if I had any messages even though he didn’t have my number.

Not much time had passed that I spent looking at photos and examining awards and trophies. Startling me the door swung open and I nearly rushed to the couch.

“I brought donuts. Sorry, I had a training class at Nightmare Factory. It’s the gym I own.” He dropped the donuts on the counter top and waited for me to pretend I had been sitting there the whole time. Chuckling, “I didn’t expect you to be a hostage in my room. You can look around, I have nothing to hide.”

“I came up empty. No signs of ex girlfriends.” I twisted to face him on the couch. “Business owner too?”

He took a big bite of donut and responded with a mouth full, “Yeah, I was tired on relying on people so I started my own gym. We host training camps for WWE now.” After a long pause of him wanting to say something but not sure how he kept starting over. “Why do you hate home?”

Embarrassed already, I sat back down further, “So you did hear that…”

“I wanna know more than how much we want to fuck each other’s brains out.”

“Between my step-ford wife mom or egomaniac dad who controls every aspect of breathing? It’s a real good time. They both expect me to be perfect and it’s suffocating. I just want to be me.” I exhaled not ever saying those thoughts out loud.

Cody rounded the couch, sitting down on the opposite end, “So you rebel? Makes sense. It’s not failing but them giving up, smart.”

“What about you? Trauma free?” I looked around at all the accolades hiding in plain sight.

He threw his head back laughing, “My career hit a brick wall, my dad died, I gambled on leaving WWE, and struggled with every kind of demon you could think of. Last week I signed a three million dollar deal to come back to WWE. They don’t call me the American Nightmare because it’s all rainbows.”

I soaked in his words, living up to a legend like his dad seemed to be couldn’t have been easy. “Both surviving.”

Cody was staring at me, his eyes boring into me, “I think I’m done surviving… I think my luck changed, recently.”

My mouth broke into a smile I tried to bite down when he sipped his cold coffee. “I gotta ask,” he sucked in making that noise when you contemplate something loudly before continuing, “why are you still a virgin?”

Stealing his coffee I took a sip from the straw before answering. “I don’t like to do what’s expected. Guys expect you to have experience and like when guys call us good girls for blowing them. What if I wanna be a bad girl and actually make someone earn it?”

Cody came closer, crawling over my legs and putting all his weight in his hands as he hovered above me. “What makes me worthy? You haven’t even asked how old I am.”

Scooting down on the couch I clutched his shirt, “You were the only one who didn’t want me. Only one with a heart. I know you didn’t think I was this young, I’m sorry for hiding it but I don’t care how old you are or how many girls you’ve fucked… something about you… has a hold on me.”

“It’s the killer smile,” he smiled that 1000 watt smile at me before his lips caught mine.

One and a half month Later…

I spent the entire time at Cody’s place, avoiding my family altogether. I was wearing Cody’s clothes and doing online orders of anything else I needed until I got brave enough to actually go home.

Cody hadn’t left yet, not since I’ve met him, but we both knew it was coming. He couldn’t be signed to WWE and simply do nothing. The entire three weeks were torture, constantly making out and touching that it made everything feel amplified.

We were both hurting but he was still committed to forcing me to turn eighteen. He took blow jobs off the table when he realized how willing I was to do them.

Having date night was his way of getting to know me like we were a normal couple. We hadn’t even talked about labels, definitions, enough to even truly decided what to call our ass backwards development.

We both drank too much when the Uber dropped us off on the sidewalk and Cody’s rough fingers were rolling his joint carefully. “Last few nights before Wrestlemania, might as well do it now before they drug test me.” As soon as the door closed Cody rushed my body, tucking the joint behind his ear and kissing my neck down to my clevage. “I’ve been wanting to do this all fucking night.”

Our hungry mouths parted until our tongues were fucking each other’s mouths while we stumbled to his room. At the top of the stairs I pushed his suit jacket down, fumbling with the small buttons of his dress shirt with my shaking hands. Clasping over my tremble his chest inflated and caved in just as heavily as mine. “You’re shaking, baby.”

It was an obviously remark but it the shaking was so much worse weeks later. My entire body ached for him.

“I need you, Cody. It doesn’t matter if I’m eighteen now or 5 months from now. Please…” I begged him like it was so easy for him. I knew it wasn’t every time he pushed me away and gave me the same dry excuse about waiting.

Sitting on the edge of his bed that sat pretty high in the air, I opened my legs still full dressed and my heels kicked off by the door. “Fuck, baby, look how wet you are for me.” He lifted my babydoll dress enough to see my slit through my soaked panties. “I wanna see you touch yourself.”

That was all it took for me to reach behind my own back and unzip my dress enough to shimmy out of it. Rubbing my slit, my panties became soaked. My legs were apart, every part of me on display for him, while he worked over undressing himself.

“Fingers, baby. I want you to be able to walk when I’m done with you.”

His words skated down my spine and between my legs seemed to bloom into something I had never felt before - a desperation to come.

Down to his boxer briefs his hands yanked my dress over my head to be delightfully surprised by no bra underneath. Biting my lip I felt so on display, suddenly so self conscious, in the presence of an older man who had more experience than I did. I had clawed my way here - there was no chance in me cowering now.

Whimpering I reached for the band of his underwear, stumbling over my own words I didn’t prompt out of my mouth. “Tell me this matters to you. It’s not some fling.”

All that liquid courage had ran a red light into validation and acceptance. It tracked but I still didn’t like it.

The beer on Cody’s breath wafted me in the face and if I wasn’t drunk too, maybe I would hate it but right now I only felt intoxicated more by it. His big hands cupped my face, forcing me to look at him when he spoke. “Don’t ever think you don’t mean anything to me. We weren’t looking for each other but we found each other. That’s all that matters.”

My back pressed into the mattress and Cody hovered above me, slowly lowering himself down and his lips catching mine. Our tongues fucked the same way my body was begging him to when my legs wrapped around his.

“Cody… please… it’s torture.”

Sitting back, his hand disappeared into his boxer briefs, only reappearing fully erected for me to see. My mouth fell open and his girth alone only made me wetter.

“Do you see this baby? Once I ruin you, it’s gonna be for everyone. After me, no one is gonna feel right… fill you like I do…”

Sitting up I starred up at him like a love sick fucking puppy, all too willing to be ruined by him. “Ruin me for every other man, Cody.”

Pushing me back lightly we couldn’t stop kissing when I felt the trip of him press against my entrance until I felt the stretch of him forcing his way in. Gasping into his mouth I froze, maybe even tensed at the feeling of his thickness.

Whispering to me he smoothed my hair down, “Are you okay?”

Shaking my head yes I couldn’t focus on anything else but him in fact ruining me. Every part of me was being carved out to only fit him.

My eyes clamped closed and Cody was finally inside me as much as he could be. I had never felt something so big or hard, not the way he felt.

Cody stilled, letting me adjust, while he kissed every patch of skin he could reach with his hips pressed against mine. After the long pause Cody’s hips began to thrust, driving all of himself in and out of me, in this intense way.

I was falling apart at the smallest movements and clutching onto his arms like it would hold me together just a little longer. “I don’t wanna come yet. I don’t want it to end.”

Looking down at me with a shit eating grin, he said, “Baby I’ve already felt you come twice. Don’t worry, I’m gonna make you come more.”

Every gasp, every moan, every pant all sent shivers up my body. I had came all over Cody more times than I even came on my own fingers. The waves of ecstasy ran ramped and I felt exhausted under Cody.

“Do I feel good?” I ventured in asking, not focusing on his climax at all.

His hips fucked me into the mattress before breathlessly responding, “Baby, how could you not? I’m trying very hard not to come. I want you to enjoy this.”

Smiling up at him, my mouth planted kissing along his jaw line, snaking down over his chest when my brave tongue swiped at his features. “I want you to come… please…” my flirty whine sent him over the edge when I felt him pull from me only to come all over my thighs.

“Fuck. You’re dangerous.”

Collapsing on top of me, we both tried to compose ourselves and failed. Out of breath, trembling and too high to come down the knock at the front door only made everything worse.

[drdemonprince]

on the topic of your "bad gender" posts, the one you made mentioning sexual abuse (especially by mothers) is something nobody talks about at all and I'm glad you mentioned it.

My psychiatrist said I have CPTSD after I went through a huge breakdown after putting pieces together that I've been experiencing long-term sexual abuse from my mother (incredibly long story, but you get the idea). I still completely struggle with seeing what she's done and does as abuse, because it is totally buried in my mind that it is not abusive or strange because she is my mother. No matter how many times my friends and partner say it's wrong, or things like "imagine if it was your father", or my DBT therapist is straight up with me and tells me I was groomed by her, I just cannot get the idea that her being my mother specifically makes her behavior acceptable. (especially since I didn't come out as broadly transmasc until I was 18, and was thus seen as a complete extension of her and her body prior to).

I genuinely cannot comprehend where the line is between normal care and abuse because of what I've learned (from her or otherwise) maternal care looks like "compared to" paternal. And I just haven't found anything that's been able to really help me grasp what I've experienced because I just cannot understand why, or what I can do. The only thing I've found with others describing my specific experience is the MDSA subreddit, which is usually just extremely triggering for me to browse (obviously the content, but also the daughter framing and just the everything about it) so I don't go there, but it has shown me that many of us have lived very similar experiences, we just rarely recognized it as abnormal because it was our mother. Perceiving men as the inherently "bad gender" especially in terms of sexual abuse just makes me see red, and is a lot of why this can keep going on unnoticed. I don't really know what I'm trying to say, and I'm sorry to dump this here. It's hard to discuss the nuance of it without being kinda specific. I just saw you mention it and I rarely see the topic brought up, so I guess I just wanted to say thank you for doing so

Thank you so much for sharing this, anon. SO many children endure parentification, spousification, covert incest, and sexual abuse at the hands of their mothers and never get that mistreatment recognized as such because people view women as benevolent, passive caretakers rather than full human beings who are capable of harm. Adults wield immense power over children, particularly parents, and this power structure functions in much the same way men's power over women does -- it makes children into the property of adults, and facilitates abuse.

You are not alone in this experience at all. I'm sure you've heard all about Jeannette McCurdy's Memoir, but if you haven't read it, you might find it affirming. The poet Anne Sexton also sexually abused her daughter, Linda, who wrote a memoir about it called Searching for Mercy Street that is also a powerful read. The host of the podcast The Mental Illness Happy Hour is an adult survivor of covert sexual abuse at the hand of his mother, and he speaks about it quite frequently and thoughtfully on his show, and has interviewed numerous guests who have also survived covert incest. As a male survivor of sexual abuse at the hands of a woman, he's a rare, needed voice, and I've gotten a ton out of listening to it. There's also a self-help book on covert incest that I've read and appreciated called Silently Seduced. You may also find value in Issendai's analysis of estranged parent forums -- lots of documentation of abusive female parents and how they justify themselves to be found there, and the author eviscerates it expertly.

I hope that reading and listening to some of this material will help you to more clearly see the outlines of your own abuse and to recognize it as wrong and distinct from true maternal care. It wasn't my mom who was the chief boundary violator in my household, it was my dad, but a lot of what he did mimicked the traditionally "maternal" abuse profile, and all these resources helped me wrap my head around it a lot better. It's triggering stuff, but I think it is worth plunging these depths when you feel safe to do so, to what ever degree you can comfortably manage. You might want to dig up the Mental Illness Happy Hour episodes specifically about the host's abuse experience first, since that focuses on a man's experience of having been groomed by his mom.

Thanks for writing. My inbox is open if you wanna talk. This stuff was a foundational trauma for me that I have processed heavily and I'm always willing to discuss it more with people who have been there. <3

[osakanone]

I unfollowed a post by a blog called Lakia or something who does really gorey mechposting because a post got to be too much for me.

The end of the post was like, "I just load the bullets into the gun"

I got over my weird flinch reaction and wanna know the blog name again so I can refollow if anybody has it?

edit:

The account is called PuppygirlLaika, and apparently a bunch of people also unfollowed Lakia for it. The gore wasn't what got me, but the concept of the story.

edit:

If Lakia is reading this, cuz I wanna clarify: I like your work but that post just, crossed some line I'm having trouble articulating. The point (or at least a big part of) of mechposting is the idea that we live forever. That we honour our dead. And also that even as we're dehumanized, we can find joy by transcending it and not being scared of our arousal. That we carry our fallen with us. Its very linked to trans remembrance, and I found myself incredibly offended to feel that being undermined. Surely if pilots are this disposable, wouldn't their memory persist in the machine like some Jadzia Daxian waking dream? We're already treated as incredibly disposable. If that exists in my fantasies, I want some sort of out, that my memory will live on in remembrance. I dunno. You do you. I like your work but that one went a little too far for me for reasons I can't clearly articulate any better than this. Keep up the good work, but know that your audience does have boundaries you should be aware of, even if its your intent to purposefully cross it: That you know it exists is useful for you as a (very very skilled) writer. Thankyou for continuing to share your writing with us, even if we do need a break sometimes.

edit:

In light of followup posts, I want to add that I don't speak for anybody else in this post. When I say "we", I mean my own personal interpretation of mechposting. I do not speak for anybody else. I'm talking about my own feelings as I experienced them specifically in relation to the freak-out I personally experienced as an individual. I got challenged as an audience and I think that I was challenged is actually a good thing, actually, and I'm grateful for it. This wasn't intended as a callout post. Lakia writes amazing work and I strongly advise folks to try it.

[honeytonedhottie]

trusting and betting on urself⋆.ೃ࿔*:･🫧

keep promises that u make to urself : just like how if u know someone who continuously makes promises to do something, yet they never act upon it, you won't trust that person or believe them if they promise u something else. this is also the same with urself. ur new years resolutions? ur goals that you've had for a while but never ever did? all those promises that you've made to yourself and the ones that you haven't followed up on will lessen trust with urself. do what u say you'll do. "stand on business" and if u know that u won't be able to deliver or do what u say you would, dont say it. dont tell urself promises that u won't be able to keep. once u start keeping ur own promises, you'll start to build trust within urself.

hold yourself accountable : just a quick disclaimer but when i say holding urself accountable i do NOT mean punishing urself!! when u find urself falling into old and fruitless patterns you need to hold urself accountable and make sure that u straighten up. the thing about our relationship with self is that a relationship needs BOUNDARIES. you need to set boundaries with urself. what will u or what will u not do? ur non-negotiables?

and when u find urself crossing boundaries within yourself take the BIGGEST step back. the key to forming a healthy relationship with urself is to balance being strict and gentle with urself. strict in the sense that ur the only one that can get u to where u wanna be, and gentle in the sense that ur best won't look the same every single day and u should also listen to urself and what u want, without having to compromise on ur boundaries. kind of finding that middle line is important, bcuz when we're too lenient with ourselves, we get too comfortable and that leads me into my next point...

where growth begins : u cannot expect to grow if ur too comfortable and honestly, this is why most people stay stagnant. its bcuz being comfortable FEELS GOOD. but growth will almost never happen when ur comfortable, on the contrary growth can only happen outside of ur comfort zone. if u want better things for urself, ur simply gonna have to DO BETTER.

the importance of ur self concept : even if ur not familiar with or u dont practice conscious manifesting/law of assumption, i think that working on ur self concept can still be such a fruitful thing to do. i say this because self concept is the way that u view urself in relation to ur desires/goals. its seeing urself as worthy and powerful, and truly grasping ur potential to do great things. a way to start with ur self concept is with affirmations! start telling urself about urself in a positive connotation. you're unstoppable <3

putting it into practice : start small, challenge urself a little bit every day. do one hard thing a day, doing so will build ur confidence bcuz u won't be so daunted by ur big goals when you've already done so many hard things. when u see something challenging instead of thinking "oh i can't do this" you'll have confidence in urself and what u are capable of. oftentimes when we have goals, we kick ourselves out of rooms before we've even tried to get in them bcuz we think "im not good enough" or "im not worthy" which isnt true at ALL. dont shoot urself in the foot. thats self sabotage. and thats not hot.

motivating urself : if u remind urself of your "why" then you'll have reason to stay consistent and truly try. i recommend asking urself the tougher questions, like "what do i want out of my life?" or "am i truly happy and if not what can i do to get there?" once you've decided what u want out of life make a VISION BOARD and actively pursue your dreams. u can't actively pursue something if u dont know what it is. so i advise u to remind urself whenever u feel that u need it of your "why", your driving cause. having that motivation, and actively pursuing and keeping the promises that u make to urself -> will then build ur confidence in yourself to the point where your betting on urself bcuz u know that no matter what cards you are dealt, you'll prosper.

so just to wrap things up, an overview ; start keeping ur promises -> be strict -> get comfy being uncomfy -> say ur self concept affirmations -> apply -> remind