#but you can get all of $5 off you peasant!

[titles-for-tangents]

On the APP no less.

coupons used to mean something now deals are like HURRY NOW! get 3 free napkins when you spend $75+ 😋

[just-some-random-blogger]

Street Rat

Aegon was too quick for Aemond. The day he fled him in the town square, he managed to get on a boat to Essos. He finds himself living as a slave, and even, dare he, feels content. Alas, all good things end.

Aegon Targaryen x Reader | 3k+ | cw: gender neutral!reader, canon divergence, fluff, DD;DNE - violence (assault, war, etc), rape, slavery, death, classism, angst, typos, etc.

A/N: please consider donating €5 to Farah's GoFundMe so that she and her family can evacuate from Palestine.

Tagging: @pinksirensong @aralezinspace @deniixlovezelda @ceoofyearning @risefallrise

Aegon did not believe in gods. One of his earliest memories was evidence of their inexistence. It was still just him and his mother then; he was still a star in her night sky and not the thorn at her side.

There was not a day in Aegon's life that he did not see his mother worry. If gods existed, how could seven not grant one of their most devoted a day without worry? Alicent had taken him to the temple to pray. She prayed for many things, for him, for the hand, for the king. She prayed for peace of mind most.

He remembers watching her weep that day. He remembers wiping her tears off her cheeks in a panic.

No, Aegon does not believe in gods, but remembers the day his brother was upon him and he had barely managed to evade his claws. Aemond would have shredded his arm along with his cloak had he been caught, he just knew it; he might have even extended a generous fist to Aegon's face. Yet under his voice, Aegon prayed to the Seven. He prayed to be delivered, he prayed to he escape somewhere the crown could not touch him.

He does not remember much else, save for the sound of his drumming pulse in his ears, but he somehow managed to get on a boat to that somewhere. As he took his first steps on the foreign land, he thought to himself, this must be why his mother prayed so much.

Again, he does remember what happened next, all he recalls is hunger, thirst, and desperation. He remembers gawking eyes. He remembers someone stroking his 'strange colored hair'. He remembers how this someone followed him around trying to convince Aegon to sell him his hair. He vaguely remembers how much he got after his hair was cut, but he clearly remembers the smell of the first meal he had after selling his hair.

What he can tell you, in great detail at that, was the feeling he felt when he heard someone scream-

"DRACARYS!"

Aegon toppled to the ground, falling back into mud. He lifted his eyes, searching for his executioner. His heart raced as he anticipated Vhagar's fury to burn him down. But the sky was clear, and instead a hand reached out to him.

You spoke in a foreign language, and yet he was confused when he understood... barely. He took your hand and you pulled him up. You told him to be careful of... something, then motioned to the street. Then you smiled at him, kindly and softly, and he felt... renewed.

All Aegon could think of in that moment was how such a being, with skin that shined and eyes that glimmered, could be clothed in rags. How could you be filthy yet immaculate?

"DRACARYS!"

Aegon tensed once more, but then you broke away and responded to the call. He watched as you floated down a rubbishy alleyway and the word dracarys was called once more.

He followed after you. He trekked through the garbage and mud in the street, realizing you were more graceful than you appeared, considering his boots stuck to the muck and your shoes did no such thing.

He finally spotted you through an open door. You were speaking to someone, or more accurately you were arguing. In spite of this, he so badly wished it was him you were speaking to.

The next thing he knew, a large man was growling threats his way. It was then he realized he was not the only person gawking at you from outside. You were popular to the peasants, it seemed. He was not surprised. Aegon did not feel compelled to move more than a few steps however.

The meaty man screamed and pointed, ordering him to leave.

The commotion caused you to look outside, and in that moment, he was inspired to speak.

"I want a job," Aegon says in High Valyrian, "I will do anything asked of me. I can clean. I can keep the peasants away from here. I can-" his words go dry when you step outside and tilt your head at him.

You come to the large man's side and raise a brow, "can you read?"

"Yes," Aegon answers instantly.

He realizes when you give him a skeptical look, it perhaps was not the wisest thing to do. Aegon backtracks. After all, he hated reading anyway, "a-a bit. I am not very... good."

You knit your brows, then place a hand on the hulking man's shoulder. He steps away and you beckon Aegon over. Aegon doesn't have to be told twice.

He follows after you, and you take a piece of parchment from the man you had been arguing with. You hand it to him then cross your arms, "can you read this?"

In a quick glance, Aegon can tell it was a list of items written in Valyrian, some he could identify, some he could not. He gives you a quick look then reads out the list slowly. He adds in High Valyrian in the end, "I do not know what some of these are."

"It does not matter," you reply, taking the list from him. You turn back to the other man, "you. Out."

Aegon watches as the man scurries off.

"You," you turn back to him, "you will help me."

That was the day he became a slave to a spice merchant. He was paid a slave's wage but he did not care because he worked the whole day with you.

Not only did you glisten under the sun, but you as well shone from the inside. He would learn soon enough that the cries of dracarys were for you; that was what you were called. When he asked about it, you explained your master named you this because he says there is a great fire inside you. You told Aegon the name was the greatest honor bestowed upon you. He would realize then that slaves bore no names.

Aegon, though unaccustomed to working, would do his best in assisting you. All he did anyway was read out anything you needed him to, and run some errands. In truth, it was harder when he had to vie for your attention from the other slaves. Luckily, he seemed to have earned your favor by doing his work well.

You would share your meals with him, little as they were, because it was clear his own meals were not enough for him. You spoke kindly to him when he could not understand certain words, unlike the other slaves. You somehow even saw potential in him and asked your master to give him a higher job.

Your master-- his master, was known as Veseves the Hard. He did not smile. He did not speak, save when he needed to, and when he did, he consistently sounded irritated. You were unphased by him however, and it was clear it was because your master favored you the most.

You and Aegon stood before Veseves. You explained to him that Aegon's skills were better suited in another job. He looked Aegon up and down then threw a book before his feet. He could barely make out what he says after. Aegon turns to you when you give him nudge. You motion to the book and so he picks it from the floor.

"Come, Dracarys," Veseves says, reaching a hand out to you.

You walk towards him and take his hand, kissing his ring. The man strokes your cheek and says something under his breath.

After this, you both leave, and you tell Aegon to copy all the contents of the book had into a blank one. You usher him into an isolated room and leave him there.

At first, he simply rewrote everything quickly and came to you after, but that was his mistake, as he was rewarded with more work. Eventually, he does not even get to see you, and it drives him mad, mad enough to come knocking at your door in the darkest hour of the night.

"Dracarys," Aegon whispers your name into the corner of the closed door, "it's me, Ae-" he stops himself when he realizes you don't know his him; he has no name here.

The door slowly cracks open. Your face is revealed to him.

Aegon steps back and gawks at you for a moment.

"What is it, book boy?" you groan in Low Valyrian. Your face tells of your exhaustion, and yet Aegon cannot find sympathy to let you sleep without saying what he came here to say.

"I want my previous job again."

Your brows furrow.

"I do not enjoy rewriting hundreds of pages alone in a room," he tells you, stepping forward, "I prefer working with you again."

"It took much for me to get you that position," you open the door wider, "you are paid more now."

"I only want to work here because of you," Aegon retorts, "I will do any job no matter how hard, so long as I see you everyday."

You tilt your head and cross your arms. Your eyes slightly crinkle in amusement, "you speak as if you a hero in a tragedy."

"My life is tragic," Aegon steps into your room, "but I am no hero."

His breath hitches as he pushes his luck and comes close enough that your bodies nearly press together. He does not resist his desires; he reaches out to you, hands landing on your waist, nose brushing against your cheek. He grips your clothes, bunching them in his fists with apparent eagerness to pull them off.

He stomach rolls at how you whimper when he kisses your neck. He is further encouraged when you brush your hands up to his neck.

"Skoros issi ao?" you whisper, hands clutching his cheeks.

Aegon pulls away, dazed.

"What are you," you ask again in Valyrian, thumbs rubbing skin, "if you are not a hero?"

Aegon is too distracted by your lips to respond.

"A spice merchant's slave?" you tilt your head, "or..." your hands brush his ill-cut, short hair and finish off in Westerosi common tongue, "a lost prince without a crown?"

He pulls away from you, as if he burned his hands. He is bewildered, in fact, beyond it.

The both of you stare at each other for a moment. Aegon realizes the mistake in his impulsive reaction.

You speak before he can think of anything to say, "you would be wise to listen to the chatter of rats. Many know there is a hefty prize for one who can hand over a man with violet eyes and silver hair.

"You did well to chop your tresses short, but I doubt the one eyed man, violet eyed and silver haired, would not recognize the blood of his blood."

Aegon's soul is shaken out of his flesh. He steps away from you. His insides churn and his breath grows heavy.

You offer him a pitiful look, "I know what it feels like to run and hide," you reach out to him and take his hand, "I know what it is like to taste freedom... and to fear someone will steal it from you."

Aegon's eyes glisten with fear.

"Do not make your life more tragic by daily fearing getting caught," you swipe the tears that wet his cheeks.

He looks upon your face, searching for signs of treachery, of deception, but your face reflected nothing but the same light it had the day he met you.

So, he listens to every word that spills from your lips. He takes it in like wine and basks in your taste. He listens to your gospels and follows them like a devout worshiper.

The day you let him taste wine directly off your lips, he's remade into an alcoholic. The day you let him taste the salt on your skin, the day your breath mingled with his, he's remade into a new man.

No, Aegon did not believe in gods, but he did believe in you. You were his religion, his compass, his keeper, his love.

At some point, you feared him getting caught more than he did. And as Aegon basked in the feel of your bare thighs straddled around his hips and flush in his palms, you cut his hair to its roots, though in much less ill-manner than the one who cut his hair before.

"Perhaps we should color your hair black," you say between snips.

Aegon examines the line that formed between your brows and can't help the way his lips curl, "shall we?"

You halt cutting.

Aegon chuckles and squeezes your thighs, muttering in High Valyrian, "no one will recognize me."

"I recognized you, prince," you finish off trimming his hair, "you too much give yourself away with how you act. In fact, I wonder if black hair will be enough."

Aegon notices how the worry on your face deepens, he is sobered by it, thus why he confesses the thought that came to mind, "unless I disfigure my face, Ae-- my brother will know me. Tis pointless to color my hair, my love"

You place the tool in your hand on the table nearby. You sigh as you turn back to him, scratching the skin on his shoulders in agitation.

Aegon huffs though his nostrils. He cups your cheeks, "he will not find me."

You say nothing.

"And even if he does, he will take me and you back to Westeros."

You chortle and shake your head before leaning into his touch. You rub your cheek into his hand, lips pulling downward, "I am nameless."

"You are ca--"

"I am a slave, prince," you cut him off, grasping his wrists. You rub his pulse, "it matters little where I am. I will live and die like this, nameless. Better I die in my own land."

He shakes his head, "you are mine. My name shall be yours."

You chuckle, then frown, "I do not know your name."

"Then let me tell you what it-"

"No!" you tighten your grip on him.

Aegon's throat tightens at how your eyes water.

There is frustration in your sigh, there is desperation in your voice, "the less I know about you, the safer we both will be," you whisper. You stare at each other for a moment, then you push yourself off him. You get dressed for the day and mutter in Low Valyrian, "I already know too much."

But the truth was, keeping yourself oblivious did not keep you safe.

Too soon it was clear that you were not safe at all, not even under the roof wherein you resided, for it was your own master that inflicte you the greatest harm.

The horrific part of it all was that Aegon could not do a single thing as it happened.

Veseves was upon you. He laid his hands on you like you were an object and not a living being. He struck you hard, you flung across the room, then he picked you up from the ground which you crumbled, forcing you to your feet by your hair. He was enraged because of Aegon. His murderous intent was because you kept his truth hidden.

"Did I not show you mercy? Did I not let you live in my home? Did I not let you earn your place in the world, slave?" your master asks you in an unnervingly calm manner, all while ripping at your hair.

You sob in agony. You grip your master's wrists, begging him to release you.

"You hid my prince," Veseves points across the room. There, Aegon was being forced on his knees by two large men who had his arms caged in their grip. The slave master continues, "each day the price on his head went down, and each day, you knew this, yet you not give him to me--"

Aegon screams when you are harshly shoved onto the floor. The impact makes your head pound and your vision spin.

"--you disloyal slut," says Veseves before kicking your felled body.

You are winded. You clamour for air as tears fog your eyes.

There was no sound uglier than the Valyrian coming out that man's mouth. Veseves continues to speak in that cursed language, "you desire having your holes filled more than pleasing your master-" he begins to undo his trousers, "-then why don't you do both, whore!"

Aegon's voice pierces through the room as he screams and threatens. He vows to torture the vile creature, to cut off his cock and feed it to him, to imprison him until his last breath, but it falls deaf on Veseves' ears.

You shriek as your master defiles you. He pins you down and abuses your helpless body.

Aegon looks away.

"Oh, prince!" calls the slave master.

Aegon's face is grabbed and turned back to the awful horror.

"If you turn away again-" Veseves pulls out a dagger, "-I will make sure to paint my floors red with the blood of your whore."

In pure desperation, Aegon shakes his head, "please. Stop. Ple-"

Your scream cuts his pleas of short. Aegon's face is released, but his fear for your life pushes him to watch the unwatchable.

And when it was done, Aegon is released. He crawles towards your limp body and fixes your clothes as much as he could. He cradles your body in his arms and weeps in anguish and remorse. You are unresponsive. Your breath is short.

Veseves had no desire to keep you. He meant to throw you out in the streets where he found you after this, but seeing this display enraged him all over again. As Aegon rocked you and kissed your forehead, ire, treachery, jealousy stoked hateful flames inside the man.

With one look at his goon, the slave master orders, "kill Dracarys."

The two men obliges, but not without Aegon putting up a fight.

He did his best to safeguard you from any more violence. You knew you had to move, but the pain in your body was too great.

In the end, you and Aegon were destined to lose, for as the prince heroically took on the two men, your master was the one who delivered your final tragedy through a jagged cut.

The last thing Aegon sees is your tear stained cheeks and the blood that rushed out to stain the floor before he's made unconscious.

When he awakes, it's because of the strong wind whipping against his face. His eyes struggle to take in the brightness of the sun, and it becomes quickly clear to him that he is on dragon back.

Aegon's arms are bound to his torso, his torso is bound to that of the rider in front of him. The long, silver hair hitting his face assures him that he was now a captive of his brother.

Judging by how he had to lean to keep his center, it would seem that Vhagar was still ascending, which meant they just got airborne. A few seconds later, another realization hits him: it was just him and his brother. You were not here.

His body tenses and he begins to wrangle in his spot. Aegon's panic causes Aemond to look over his shoulder.

"Oh, good," Aemond speaks over the wind, "you-"

"STOP! TURN BACK! WE CANNOT LEAVE-" Aegon screeches, wriggling in his bounds.

"We are not turning back!" Aemond hisses, "you've caused more trouble than you're worth! I would have left you a slave, had it not been for our mother who wants you home!"

The one eyed man's vexed chastising falls deaf on Aegon's ears. In fact, he talks over Aemond as he speaks, begging and pleading frantically. His voice cracks as he presses for answers. He asks if Aemond was the one who retrieved him, he asks if he took him and left you, he asks if you were alive, though he knew it was in vain, he asks if he even saw your body, he asks him to turn back and retrieve you. But in truth, Aegon's grief was too great for any of these questions to come out intelligible.

Aemond scowls, "what are you talking about?!"

"DRACARYS!" Aegon cries, "YOU CANNOT LEAVE DRACARYS IN THAT HELLHOLE!"

Aemond quickly gathers that Dracarys was the name of whomever Aegon was so worried about. Clearly, you became his person within the dragged out time he spent away from home.

"TURN BACK, AEMOND," Aegon cries out speak in High Valyrian, "WE CANNOT LEAVE WITHOUT DRACARYS."

Aemond snaps, "I care little for your whore!"

Just as he says this, Aegon catches sight of the city inching towards them, tiny and distant. It completely sets Aegon off.

He screams at the top of his lungs, "UMBAGON! KELIGON!"

Vhagar knew the voice of his master well, but the words 'wait' and 'stop' were unmistakable to her. The dragon screeched in acknowledgement, but did not obey.

Aemond tenses at his ride's reaction. He leans forward and commands, "DOHAERIS, VHAGAR!" Obey.

Vhagar roars as they fly over the city.

"KELIGON!" Aegon's cry rips at throat, "DRACARYS! DRACARYS! DRACARYS, SHIJETRA NYKE!" Forgive me.

The brothers looked in horror at the destruction. Quickly, the sky darkened with smoke. Vhagar roared in delight of her work and Aemond angrily berated his brother, telling him to bask in the hell he delivered upon an entire city.

Aemond elbows him, ordering him to shut his mouth, but Aegon's cries for Dracarys were so visceral and desperate, Vhagar could not deny the command.

And so she parted her jaws and breathed fire upon the entire city beneath her. Aemond could not control her as she circled around the area, assuredly setting ablaze to every building and street until nothing remained.

Aegon goes numb as his senses are bombarded with death. The smell of smoke further encourages his tears, but then, the next moment, his thoughts soothe his guilt. If you were not allowed to live, no one in your city should be either.

Aegon did not believe in gods. He did not believe in anything.

If the atrocities in this fictional story affect you, consider donating €5 to Farah's GoFundMe, as the people in Palestine are living similar atrocities in real life.

[larluce]

Arthur and Merlin travel back in time without knowing the other is from the future too AU

Tagging @aceauthorcatqueen , @fallenxjas , @smileytrinity ,@lucifertookmyshoe , @an-entity-i-think , @thecornerofbelu , @griffonskies , @odinjm , @cinnabon-sweetroll-tiramisu , @thelady-mary , @bennedict , @nightninjaboy , @st8-of-grace , @star-rie , @error-username-not-available , @dogberryrowan , @jamieweasley13 , @tansyuduri , @tercais , @robynnemrys , @evadne01 , @serasvictoria02 , @hairdryerducks , @hopeaha , @curiously-lazy , @ harriettesthings , @andrealux16 , @wacko-weirdo , @greatdonutenemy , @yougottobekittenme , @anxiousosaurus , @kinkforwings , @someweirdassnamee , @impracticalantlers , @miyriu , @hobipabo

LINKS TO THE OTHER PARTS OF THIS AU HERE: PART 1 , PART 2 , PART 3 , PART 4 , PART 5 , PART 6 , PART 7 , PART 8 , PART 9 , PART 10 , PART 11 , PART 12 , PART 13 , PART 14 , PART 15 , PART 16 , PART 17 , PART 18 , PART 19 , PART 20 , PART 21 , PART 22 , PART 23 , PART 24 , PART 25 , PART 26 (You're here), PART 27

In the throne room.

Gaius: (enters and bows) Sire.

Uther: (At a table, offers him to sit next to him) It have come to my attention your ward is now quite popular above the people.

Gaius: I'm guessing you're referring to The Unicorn Catcher song, Sire?

Uther: (nods and sighs) Did you bring some of your concoction? (rubs his temples)

Gaius: (pulls out a little bottle from his pocket and starts mixing it with the drink Uther has already there) Sire, you don't really believe Merlin crossed pats with a unicorn, right? Because I can assure you-

Uther: Whether it's true or not is not really the problem.

Gaius: ... What?

Uther: If it's a lie, then that boy did a marvelous job to create himself a reputation portraying as a saint. If it's true, then he's been tempting my son with his virginity! I don't know which option is worst to be honest! This seductive demon-! (his eye tics)

Gaius: Drink. (gives him his drink) Just to get this straight, you aren't worry about the unicorn at all then, Sire?

Uther: (drinks it all in one go) Why would I worry about a horse with a horn wandering in the woods when the actual danger is here between the walls of this castle in the body of a peasant boy?! (stands up abruptly and looks at his vase frustrated) This thing isn't strong enough! (throws it away and Gaius flinches when it breaks) I know his kind, he gained my son's favor so when he becomes King he will turn him into his puppet king, or worst, he wants my son to make him regent so he'll have all the power! This boy is going to steal my kingdom!

Gaius: Sire, I promise you, Merlin is not that kind of person.

Uther: Really? Explain to me then why he dared to humiliate my son infront of his Knights? Tell me how that wasn't him showing off how much influence he has over the Prince of Camelot!

Gaius: (sighs, thinking) Of course he learned about that too. (says) Merlin is impertinent, I won't deny that, but he's not ambicious. In fact, if Merlin indeed encountered unicorn, that in itself would be prove of that. These magical creatures don't only feel attracted to the pureness in body, but the pureness in heart too. If Merlin had any malice in his heart it wouldn't have aproached him at all.

Uther: Oh, please! Why else would that boy humiliate himself to accept the affections of a man if not for his lust for power?

Gaius: Didn't it occur to your Majesty that for Merlin that's not an humiliation at all.

Uther: (frowns, confused) What do you mean?

Gaius: Well, Merlin has never showed any interest in girls, Sire. And, his status as prince aside, Arthur is a very handsome and attractive man. He also posseses very good qualities as a person. He's compassionate, brave, just, a very chivalrous man-

Uther: Are you trying to tell me that your ward is actually in love with my son?

Gaius: With all due respect, Sire, is pretty obvious that Arthur's feelings are not one sided. But you've been so absorbed in only thinking the worst of Merlin since he came here that you haven't realise that! I know my ward. He can be too dense and insolent for his own good, yes, but he's not a greedy person, much less a villain whose porpuse is to conquer an entire kingdom. He wouldn't even think of it. Merlin's heart is incapable of any evil.

Guard 1: (enters and bows) Your Majesty, Sir Silfred is here. He says he has important news for you.

Uther: Let him in.

Silfred: (enters and bows) Sire.

Uther: I'm hoping there's been a progress in your investigation.

Silfred: We still couldn't find any traces of Lady Sophia and Lord Aulfric, Sire. Not of them specifically at least. But we did find some dry blood stains deep in the woods.

Uther: They could be of anybody.

Silfred: That's what we thought. But then we found this nearby. (pulls out a purple neckerchief) It has stains of blood too. (gives it to Uther) Does it look familiar to you, Sire?

Gaius: (pales)

Uther: (analysing the fabric, icy calmed) It does... Thank you, Sir Silfred. You're dismissed.

Silfred: (bows and leaves)

Uther: (turns to Gaius) Your boy can be all chaste, Gaius, but he's definitely not pure hearted. He's evil in his very soul! And this is the prove! (throws the neckerchief at Gaius, who catches it in reflex) I knew something was off when Aulfric and Sophia dissapeared so suddenly and now I know why! He murdered them! He knew Sophia would be an obstacle for his plans so he got rid of her!

Gaius: (composes enough and stands up, firmly) I think you're running to conclusions, Sire.

Uther: Don't protect him, Gaius! Or are you going to deny this is his?

Gaius: It looks similar to the ones Merlin uses, yes, but Merlin is not the only person in Camelot that wears neckerchiefs.

Uther: True, but what about a purple one? Only royalty can afford purple fabric and there are only two royals in Camelot. And neither Arthur nor I wear this type of clothing. But we do know who likes to give expensive gifts to a certain servant.

Gaius: Even if it was Merlin's, we can't really be sure the blood is from Sophia and her father. You said it yourself, sire, it could be from anybody.

Uther: You dare to contradict me!

Gaius: All I'm saying is that in a court that wouldn't be enough prove to condem a person.

Uther: (yells) I am the King and therefore the judge and I say this is prove enough!

Gaius: (yells back) And would it be prove enough for Arthur?

Uther: ...

Gaius: (composes himself) I just fear, Sire, that if you condem Merlin based only on this evidence, Arthur won't accept it.

Uther: (sighs) I'm not naive enough to believe that Arthur doesn't know about this.

Gaius: (a bit nervous) What... what do you mean, Sire?

Uther: Sir Silfred is the best at finding traces and yet he could only find this piece of clothing and some blood stains. Even the smartest and strongest men can't hide a body that well in such short amount of time, let alone a skinny peasant boy. There's only one posible explanation.

Gaius: That he didn't do it?

Uther: That he had help! And not from other than my son, nonetheless! If Arthur's already, not only favoring, but covering him, we're doomed! that boy could even murder me and Arthur would let him!

Gaius: (thinking, worried) He's not stupid. It's incredible that he discovered what happened with so little clues, but his level of paranoia is worrying. He's right, but he's SO wrong at the same time. (says in a soothing voice) Merlin is no murderer, Sire. But even if he was, Arthur would never allow something like that, no matter how much he loves Merlin. You're not only his king, you're his father.

Uther: (grunts)

Gaius: But if you are so worried about my ward, Sire, why don't you talk to him?

Uther: (in disbelief) Talk?

Gaius: If you could take the opportunity to properly talk to him, maybe you'd realize he is not the person you believe him to be, Sire. Now you have this bad image of Merlin, but you haven't actually bother to know him.

Uther: Of course I haven't bother. He's a servant.

Gaius: But you fear the influence of said servant, Sire.

Uther: ...

Gaius: It's just a suggestion, Sire.

Uther: (sighs) Fine. (calls out) Guards!

Guards: (enter)

Uther: Bring the Prince's manservant here inmediatly.

Guards: Yes, Sire. (bow and leave)

Gaius: You could have sent me for him.

Uther: So you warn him in advance? No, I want to see his genuine reaction when a question him about this. (takes the neckerchief from Gaius' hands)

Gaius: Wait...you're going to interrogate him, Sire? 😨. That's not what I meant with "talking"!

Uther: I'm giving him a chance to defend himself, so be grateful.

Gaius: Of course I am, Sire. (thinking) Gods help me! Merlin please deny that neckerchief is yours!

Short time skip.

Merlin: (enters, confused but chill) Did you call for me, Sire?

Uther: You're talking to your King.

Merlin: I know.

Uther: Then why aren't you bowing?

Merlin: Oh, sorry. (bows quickly) Did you call for me, Sire?

Gaius: (facepalms internally)

Uther: I did call you. I have a very important matter to discuss with you.

Merlin: (more confused) Me?

Uther: (turns to Gaius) You are dismissed.

Gaius: (pleades) Sire-

Uther: Do as I say.

Gaius: (sighs) Yes, Sire. (bows and leaves)

Merlin: (starts worrying) What's... going on?

Uther: (about to pull out the neckerchief to start the interrogation) You-

Arthur: (enters and smiles politely) Sorry I'm late. What's the matter at hand?

Uther: I didn't call for you.

Arthur: But you call for Merlin and anything that concerns my manservant concerns me.

Merlin: (hisses) Arthur!

Arthur: (ignores him, but walks a few steps forward to be infront of Merlin) So, what is it that you want to discuss with my manservant so urgently, father? (keeps talking and smiling politely, but somehow he also sounds threatening)

Uther: (thinking) This won't work if Arthur is here. The boy will be confident he'll come to his aid. (says) I was just wondering if you knew anything about this song that's beeen circulating around lately.

Merlin: (nervous and blushing) You mean the Unicorn Catcher song, Sire?

Arthur: You called my manservant here just because of a tavern song? You must know that story is nothing but the product of some minstrel's imagination.

Uther: I'm very aware of that, Arthur. But that song is tainting your reputation.

Merlin: (sighs in relief, though still confused) But the song hardly mentions Arthur.

Uther: It mentions him enough. Now it's a song and then, last I thing I know, everyone in Camelot is saying that The Prince only takes young virgin boys to bed.

Merlin: (blushes more furiously, feeling humiliated)

Arthur: (notices and swallows his anger for the hiding insult to Merlin in Uther's words)

Uther: (to Merlin, aproaching) So, if you had anything to do with that song...

Arthur: (puts himself between Merlin and his father) It was Sir Ewan and Sir Innprudence who spreaded the rumor, father. Merlin had nothing to do with that. I already got them arrested for talking nonsense while drunk and causing all this mess, so you don't have to worry.

Uther: I did hear they were arrested. (sighs) That's all I wanted to know. You're dismissed.

Arthur and Merlin: (bow and leave)

Uther: (thinking) I need to find I way to get that boy alone, but how?

Time skip. Merlin, Gaius and Lancelot in Gaius' Tower.

Merlin: He found what?! 😨

Gaius: Your neckerchief, Merlin. And with stains of blood. So it doesn't look good.

Merlin: But that's impossible! Lancelot burned all the clothes!

Lancelot: I thought I did. But it was dark, maybe it fell while I was carrying the pile. (very guilty) I'm so sorry Merlin, I should've been more careful.

Merlin: Don't be. You saved Arthur's life and we didn't have much time.

Gaius: Uther won't arrest you, I convinced him to give you a chance to defend yourself. So when he calls for you again you just have to deny that neckerchief is yours and show him you are not the villain he built in his head.

Merlin: I need to tell Arthur. (makes a move to leave)

Gaius: (stops him) No! Uther wants to interrogate you alone, if you tell him he will sneak in again.

Merlin: I'll tell him not to go.

Lancelot: And you think he'll listen?

Merlin: I don't know. But he was involved in this too and I won't lie to him more than I need to. (leaves)

Gaius: Wait, Merlin! There's something else I need to tell you. Merlin! (makes a move to go after him)

Lancelot: (stops him) Tell me and I'll give him the message. I'll get to him faster.

Meanwhile, in Morgana's chambers. Arthur and Morgana having some kind of tea party, while Gwen braids Morgana's hair.

Morgana: (laughing) You men are so inmature.

Arthur: I was not inmature. He hit me first, I just defended myself.

Mogana: And then you fighted over who was Merlin's best friend. Yeah, very mature.

Gwen: I thought I was Merlin's best friend (pouts)

Morgana: You are his best GIRL friend.

Gwen: (mocking) So that means you are not his best girl friend?

Morgana: (plays along) How dare you! I'll fight you! (makes silly fighting movements)

Arthur: (complains) Stop it! (but can't help but laugh)

Merlin: (enters sudenly)

Morgana: Merlin! Knock first! I could be changing my clothes.

Arthur: Now you know what I have to endure everyday (looks at Merlin expression and frowns, worried) Merlin, what is it? (stands up and goes to him) Did something happen?

Merlin: Arthur-

Guard 1: (interrupts) Sire, The King wants you to interrogate a sorcerer in the dungeons.

Morgana: (feels mad and sad for what's probably going to be another unfair execution, but doesn't say anything)

Arthur: (notices) Lets discuss this outside.

Merlin, Arthur and Guards: (Get out of Morgana's chambers)

Arthur: (closes the door behind him) Can't it wait?

Guard 2: I fear not. It's a very dangerous sorcerer, we had to put him in cold iron, so the King wants to execute him as soon as possible. But he also wants to get as much information he can from him. Apparently he was the leader of a group of renegate soreceres.

Arthur: I understand. (to Merlin) We'll talk later. (makes a move to leave)

Merlin: (makes a move to go with him)

Arthur: (stops him) Merlin, no. Stay. I have to do this alone. (thinking) I don't want you to see that, nor do I want to put you in danger.

Merlin: You can't stop me. (thinking) Like I'm going to let you alone with a dangerous sorcerer!

Arthur: (sighs) Merlin-

Lancelot: (arrives running) Merlin! (takes a breath) By the Gods, you run fast. (bows to Arthur) Sire, I'm sorry, but Gaius needs Merlin urgently.

Arthur: (releaved) It's alright, Lancelot. I have urgents matters to attend too. (follows the guards and leaves)

Merlin: (about to leave but Lancelot stops him) Let go of me! 😡 Arthur is about to interrogate a dangerous sorcerer I need to be there! Whatever urgency Gaius has can wait!

Lancelot: There's no dangerous sorcerer.

Merlin: (stops struggling) ...What?

Lancelot: There is no dangerous sorcerer and there is no urgency. That's what Gaius wanted to explain to you. Is part of the plan.

Merlin: The plan? What plan?

In the dungeons. Arthurs goes with the guards to a cell, but finds it empty.

Arthur: Where's the prisoner?

Guards: Here. (push Arthur inside quickly and close the cell)

Arthur: (stands up, furious) What do you think you are doing?! 😡

Guard 1: (very apologetically) Forgive us, Sire. It was King's orders.

Arthur: Why did my father order you to lock me up in the dungeons?! I'm not strange to this punishment, but normally I know WHY I'm being punished.

Guard 1: This is no punishment, Sire. Your Majesty just doesn't want you to interfere in... some matters.

Guard 2: It will be just for a couple of hours, Sire. You don't have to worry.

Arthur: Interfere? Why would I... (pales and shouts) Merlin!

Meanwhile in the throne room.

Uther: Has the prince been brought to the dungeons.

Guard 3: Yes, Sire.

Uther: Perfect. Now bring the boy.

...

Finally we get back to the request list!

Arthur has to protect Merlin from his dad ☑︎

An he will continue to do it for the next parts because this shit is far from over!

What do you think is going to happen?

What was the hiding insult in Uther's words the Arthur catched?

Also, credits to my best friend Rosangela, who helped me with some dialogues and situations, no only in this part, but several ones. Love you so much! ❤️

[visenyaism]

I haven't read the main series yet and I'd love to know the lore behind Harrenhal, love see you and others post about it but I sadly don't get all of it 😭

sit down followers it’s story time. Once upon a time there was this guy named King Harren Hoare. and he was king of the iron Islands where he was from, but he decided he wanted to be king of more than that also. so he invaded the Riverlands and conquered it all which was pretty easy because they were fighting each other like they always are instead of him. but being king of two places wasn’t enough he also needed to have the biggest baddest castle in all of the land. So he rounded up a bunch of smallfolk in the nicest most central important location in the riverlands and got them to building it. In his hubris he got too into it and mixed actual human blood into the mortars of the castle. unlike other feudal castles, this one is both literally and figuratively made from peasant blood. 

but he got his castle and it is in fact the biggest in the entire seven kingdoms. It’s notable for its five huge (now wrecked) stone towers. A million men could march on that thing and slide right off. but he forgot to account for the WMD metaphor that being Aegon Targaryen and his sisters flying in on their big big dragons, wanting to conquer everything that he had previously conquered. he refused to surrender because he thought his blood castle would keep him safe and they burned him and all his sons alive in it.

Ever since then, Harrenhal is this half-burned wreck of a castle but no family has been able to hold onto without all dying for more than two generations. my fav occupant was danelle lothston, a girlknight cannibal blood witch who later got executed for bathing in too much peasant blood. in the main series, the whole thing about Harrenhal is that it was the site of this tourney that happened when the main cast were teenagers where jaime lannister got knighted, ned got a crush on a dayne maybe, and lyanna got crowned queen of love and beauty by a very married rhaegar targaryen, all of which set up their generation-defining war. Harrenhal is also this cursed deeply hunted liminal space where time seems to be a lot looser. everyone thinks it’s cursed. there are many theories as to why, including:

1) harrenhal is cursed because of harren’s hubris, which is like the hubris of the lords (usually un-landed) who get handed the castle because they think they can turn it around.

2) the harrenhal curse is an allegory for feudalism, a castle made from peasant blood that eats the grasping lords who get handed it whole.

3) the harrenhal “curse” it’s just that it’s too big to defend and it’s centrally located in the Riverlands, which is important in every single war so it just sort of gets chewed up all the time and there’s no actual magic involved.

4) the Harrenhal curse is just the fact that Aegon’s descendants (Maegor, Rhaena, Daemon, etc) do have a tendency to keep coming back to kill everyone there.

5) the Harrenhal curse is a freaky blood thing that has something to do with its blood walls and a lot to do with its weirwood and the nearby isle of faces, an old god island no mortal, has ever successfully gone to, but several people have died trying. the castle is hungry for blood. 

Ultimately it is a super important place and also this haunted torment labyrinth sometimes the author will just stick characters like daemon or jaime into if they need to be stuck in introspective agony for a while. The current lord is littlefinger so everyone manifest it comes for him soon. 

[waterfire1848]

😍😍😍

Body swap shenanigans return, and Ursa gets revenge.

[becausegoodheroesdeservekidneys]

routine vibe check: what’s the best starter pokemon and why are you right (pictures and long paragraphs of evidence welcomed and appreciated)

Gonna get a good grade in vibe check, normal to want and inevitable to achieve because I have objectively correct Pokemon opinions and will block naysayers

OKAY LET'S GO

I decided to do, like, a top 5 list or something, because I'm bad at picking a single favourite of stuff. And then even that overwhelmed me, so I found one of those tier ranking list sites and produced this:

It was done in less than a minute, so if I wanted to get really picky, I don't know if I would be fully wedded to it (not sure if maybe Sceptile should be one higher) BUT it did help to highlight the important ones.

So!

5. Bulbasaur

It's. Just. So. Nice.

Like you can find cooler, more beautiful, cuter, fancier... there's a whole bunch of ways for a Pokemon to be great. But you will never ever find a nicer Pokemon than Bulbasaur. It's so lovely. Look at it. Look at its face.

I can't put it higher, because the rest of the line is fairly bland in terms of development. It's good and logical and fun, don't get me wrong, but Ivysaur and Venusaur just look like bigger versions with More Flower and Less Cute rather than creatures in their own right. To be honest, if it weren't a starter requiring a three-stage evolution, you could do away with Ivysaur. Something I don't like about a lot of lazy three-step lines is that the middle step just looks like a transitional mid phase rather than a Proper Creacher, like they were artificially inflating the Pokemon number count. Meanwhile it took us until Paldea to get a Girafarig evo that would actually make the giraffe tall. Madness.

However my first ever Pokemon was a Bulbasaur I called Daffodil, and I have traded him forward onto every single successive generation since. He is, quite literally, my First Ever Pokemon. I love him desperately. I still have him. Not many people still have their First Ever Pokemon. But I do and I love him. So, Bulbasaur gets the fifth spot.

4. Snivy

Again, a victim of the Banal Transitional Middle Evo, but both Snivy and Serperior are incredible, and as Meatloaf took such pains to tell us, two out of three ain't bad.

But Snivy! It's so snooty! I was super lucky with mine, too, because I beat the 12.8% odds and got a female, and I loved her. Normally the initial baby starters are designed to be cute but Snivy has SO MUCH PERSONALITY, she's great. And the design of Serperior is utterly gorgeous. She keeps the expression, but rather than the Animal Crossing-style snooty-cute vibe of Snivy you get this thousand yard withering stare of an empress whose servant (you) has just turned up dripping mud in her throne room and asked her for money. Her green and gold colour scheme is exquisite. Her filigree design, including her high collar, give off the air of wealth and sophistication befitting her immaculate pedigree. And all this! In a simple snake. Incredible design work, 10 out of 10, no notes.

Begone, you miserable peasant. Have him boiled.

3. Torchic

Now I'll be real with you, lads, but Pokemon design hit its stride with Hoenn and then got better.

It's partly a fashion thing, of course - you look at some of the Kanto designs and they are remarkably 90s, because that's when the franchise launched. Others are clearly a product of what the 1990's were capable of producing in pixels on an already over-stretched cartridge medium. Like we like to clown on Red and Green/Blue now, but my god, those game designers performed a miracle with Pokemon. Every single square inch of space was used to make that game, and complex designs weren't going to cut it.

(With that said, there is still no excuse for Dragonite.)

And then Johto came about and its Pokedex sucks ass. It's mostly new evolutions for existing Kanto stars, useless babies to inflate the dex number, or poorly thought out single-evos like the inexplicably short Girafarig and the unacceptably dreary Dunsparce (our greatest thanks to Paldea for fixing both of those).

BUT THEN CAME HOENN (trumpets intensify)

And we get habitats! Biomes! A different regional climate, gifting us a brand new area of Pokecology! And therefore a brand new flush of creativity in Pokemon design across the board; less dated, and more inclined to be unique rather than a rehash of Kantonian stuff.

Which brings me nicely to this lad:

Now, I mean. Just look at him. Fucking hell. Cute starter stage, check. LOOK AT HIM FACE

AND THEN he became, at the time, a brand-new unique typing: Fire/Fighting. I realise that is now the norm for like, half of the Fire starters, but that's because of Torchic, actually. He was super popular. In fact if you ever play Ruby/Sapphire/Emerald and you do what my husband and I like to call a Mynci Dave run (use one Pokemon almost exclusively, meaning it gets all the experience points and therefore over-levels to a terrifying degree, allowing you to sweep the game; so named after the noble Primeape we first did this with, Mynci Dave), Torchic is the PERFECT Pokemon to choose, because almost everything is weak to either Fire or Fighting in that region.

Anyway, Combusken is, again, kind of mid (although props for the inverted colour scheme and the fact that it actually does look like a teenager.) But Blaziken, on the other hand... Blaziken is a six foot ninja chicken with wings for hair whose Pokedex entry describes it as able to leap tall peaks in a single bound, a feat it achieves after strengthening its legs by hoofing Geodudes down mountains like they're fucking footballs

Also an impressive bulge.

My first was called Gilgamesh, and he was fucking great. For a long time, this mad lad was my actual favourite Pokemon, not just starter. Brilliant. Love him. Five stars out of three. King.

2. Fuecoco

It would probably surprise you to know I've not actually used one. I chose Sprigatito, and I do really like Meowscarada, actually. But pretty anthro cat boys have been done in Pokemon quite a bit at this point; cats, dogs and rabbits are over-represented in terms of Poke-taxa. Possibly this is another reason for a toad, a snake and a chicken being 5, 4 and 3 so far (ooh, basilisk ingredients, I've just realised.) They're new and unusual! I like an Eeveelution as much as the next person, but they're a whole family of cat-dog-rabbits, like.

However.

Nintendo has tried its hand at Pokecrocodilians three times (Feraligatr, Krookodile, Skeledirge), and they have gotten so much better at design each time that the three of them are basically a scale proxy for ongoing design improvement. Look, I've made a diagram:

EXCEPT

(Strap in)

This one is that rare thing: a three step line that deserves to be a three step line. Let's talk Fuecoco first:

SO CUTE. It's charming, it's charismatic, it's adorable.

It also has hints of its evolutionary end goal, but not like an undeveloped middle evo. It likes singing. The white face hints at the eventual calavera, and it looks a bit like a lil chilli pepper - a ghost pepper, probably in reference to the eventual Fire/Ghost typing. But the colours and shape right now also look a bit reminiscent of a babygro, because this thing is a cute starter. Lookit them teefs. That tuft. Its lovely smile. Beautiful.

And then, at the point you expect it to turn into just the awkward teenage version of the adult, instead we get Crocator:

Oh boy. Oh there's so much to say. Okay okay:

The region it's from is based on Spain, but this thing is incorporating Hispanic elements from across the board. It's a mariachi in a sombrero, except the sombrero also looks kind of like a ring of Mexican marigolds and kind of like a Catalonian Easter cake called Mona de Pascua that has an egg (or egg-shaped confectionary) in the middle. Body shape and markings look kind of like a piñata. The white face is now on its way to a calavera, with the cheek and nostril markings more defined. And it sings, with its open mouth (also how crocodiles release heat, appropriate for a Fire type) and signified by the mariachi theme.

THAT IS A LOT.

And then it becomes Skeledirge. A Fire/Ghost crocodile.

Now the obvious design here is the calavera and the  Día de Muertos theming, which is part of it. But there are also many examples of crocodile figures in Spanish folkloric ghost stories: the Catalonian Cocollona, the Lizard of Magdalena from Jaén, or the Drac de Na Coca, or even the Cuca - that one is Portuguese, but turns up in both Brasil and the Iberian Peninsula including in parts of Spain. It's got a Gaudi vibe (like Barcelona). It's got an alebrije vibe (like Mexico).

And the bird! Nile crocs have a cleaning symbiosis with Egyptian plovers; it also sits at the tip of the snout where male gharials have a sort of bulbous bit to help them make sounds (the singing thing).

But this is what the bird does when Skeledirge uses Torch Song:

It becomes a microphone, then grows in size and attacks the opponent in Phoenix form. Phoenix: Fire/Ghost. Resurrected from the ashes.

Quite simply, your fave could never.

5. Rowlet

My god. (My god)

gasp

Look at this lovely creacher. He is so round and so soft and so lovely. He looks like that baby Yoda meme. He looks like that cat that someone's landlord said they would make an exception for because he looks very polite. Look!!! At his lil bow tie!!! He is a smartly dressed young man and he is kind and he is... well, a bit vacant behind the eyes. A himbo, if you will. But he is all the better for that. What a lovely owl.

He looks a little like a barn owl, perhaps, and those were imported to Hawai'i, where Rowlet is from. But I think he looks a little like a Pueo owl, and given that he will eventually be a Ghost type, that seems right - pueos are one of the physical forms assumed by ʻaumākua in Hawai'ian culture, as I understand it.

And then, hang onto your tits, lads, because this is another banger - THE MIDDLE EVOLUTION IS ITS OWN DESIGN!!! (confetti cannons)

I said earlier that boring middle evos are like just awkward teenagers of the adults. Here, I present to you, a very deliberate Awkward Teenager, in Dartrix:

IT'S A DANDY

I love him I love him I love him

He plays with his fringe and if you touch it without permission he has a tantrum. God, he's so charismatic. Also, that fringe further suggests the pueo - they have pronounced outer rims around their facial disks like that. Look at his bow tie and tail coat. So smart and handsome

This one is so good that it could be the final evo. This is actually my issue with the Delphox line - Braixen is amazing, and then it becomes the bland boredom of Delphox. Braixen should have been the final stop. Here, Dartrix is much the same - good enough to be a high-quality end goal.

Where they differ is that Decidueye is better again.

IT SHOOTS ARROWS MADE OF ITS OWN QUILLS

Also, fun fact - This line is the only starter to change secondary typing. Dartrix is part Flying; but on evolving a second time into Decidueye, it switches to Grass/Ghost. In this evolution, it's definitely mostly a pueo, so the ʻaumākua reference is IN, but actually barn owls also have their associations with the dead in various cultures.

The crown of feathers around its head are also reminiscent of an ayaigasa - a hat worn by Japanese samurai archers. And yet! AND YET!

It still has its lil bow tie look. Bigger now, more of a cravat; but there it is.

A perfect Pokemon, and a perfect evolutionary line. No notes.

Anyway, thank you for this chance to waste three and a half hours writing this essay

[watarfallar]

Life Series Incorrect Quotes

Martyn: As top in this relationship, I think we should- Ren: I can't believe you're pulling rank on me.

Impulse: Are you sure Skizz's even gay? They barely even looked at me.

Skizz: How do you know how to kiss? Like who teaches you? Impulse: Well it’s actually a class, but unfortunately it’s full right now. Impulse: Would you like me to tutor you? Tango: That was smooth.

Gem, in Impulse’s bed: Morning… how’d ya sleep last night? Impulse, knocking Gem off: WHAT THE HELL?! Gem: Ow— Impulse: What were you doing in my bed? You were supposed to sleep on the air mattress on the floor! Gem: I had a nightmare. Impulse: You had a nightmare? What are you, five years old? Gem: Listen, I needed to feel comfortable and I was getting this perverse power dynamic vibe from me sleeping on the floor and you sleeping up there- Impulse, in a royal accent: Why yes, how high and mighty I am up on my twin XL! Gem: That is not what I meant— Impulse: Silence in the presence of your king, who sleeps a lofty twelve and a half inches above the ground! Gem: Listen, I’m not ashamed. I slept comfortably when I got up on your bed and I’m sure you did too. Impulse: Yeah, okay- Gem: You know what? I wanna know. How’d you sleep last night? Impulse: …That was the best I’ve slept in a while. Gem, gasping: The king slept comfortably with a peasant in his bed! Impulse: I did not consent to this- Gem, dramatically: But my liege, our love is forbidden! Impulse, on the phone: Hi, is this the front desk? Yeah, there’s a bed bug in my room and she’s six-foot-one, he’s got red hair. Gem: Ask them if they have one of those “Do Not Disturb” signs. I’ll put it on the door next time we… do it. Impulse: Okay, I'ma go shower and wash all of the you off of me. Gem: Oh, maybe together we could— Impulse: NO. Gem: Just to save water— Impulse: No! You don’t even pay for the water! Gem: …Good point.

Bdubs: What do you call quantums of electromagnetic radiation that don’t get along? Ren: What did you just say- Bdubs: Foetons! *Laughs* Ren: Wh-what?

Grian, at an awards show: Well, first of all, I’d like to thank Scar, the love of my life, for telling me Mumbo was going to win so don’t bother to prepare a speech.

Cleo: Bdubs, can you help me? All of my clothes keep disappearing for some reason. Bdubs, wearing a hoodie that's 5 times bigger than their size: Spooky.

BigB: What situation is not instantly improved by the addition of fishnets, I ask you. Scott: Being a fish. BigB: Well, shit.

Grian: I am an expert at identifying birds. Bdubs: Okay, what about those ones flying over there? Grian: Yeah, they're all birds.

Ren: I’m gonna die alone. Pearl: Ren, you’re not gonna die alone. Ren: Bdubs, was my safety net, okay? They got married and now I have to get a snake. Scar: Uh-huh. Why is that? Ren: If I’m gonna be an old lonely person, I’m gonna need a thing, you know? A hook. Like that guy in the subway who eats his own face. Ren: So I figured I’ll be “Crazy Man With A Snake”, you know? Crazy snake man. Ren: Then I’ll get more snakes, call them my babies. Kids won’t walk past my place, they will run! RUN AWAY FROM CRAZY SNAKE MAN!

Cleo, holding out a cookie for Lizzie: Look! This ones a heart, that’s how I feel about you! Lizzie: *Ugly crying* Cleo, holding out another cookie for Pearl: This ones like Michigan, that’s how I feel about you! Pearl, throwing their hands in the air: What does that mean?!

Grian: Did you wash the dishes? Mumbo: I thought you wanted to do that... Grian: *chuckles* You were WRONG.

Bdubs: Ren, I beg of you. Please, PLEASE go to the doctor. Ren: Hey, I'm sorry. Is this OUR stab wound?

BigB: Respect my trans homies or I’m gonna identify as a fucking problem.

Impulse: Everybody shut up, I'm thinking. Tango, patting them on the back: Well, don’t think too hard. I wouldn’t want you to hurt yourself.

Joel: What's with the new hat? Scott: Oh, this? It's nothing. Scar: It's the loudest nothing I ever saw. Cleo: Scott, you just can't mosey in here with a brand-new hat and act like you're not wearing a brand-new hat. Scott: Look, I'm trying something new, okay? Just take it easy. Etho: He's right, guys. Come on, let's not go down this path. It's ugly... Kinda like that hat– Scott: I got this from a nice store! Joel: What store? The one before you exit the Al Capone Museum? BigB, entering the room: What's up, Scott? Did you just finish Bling Ring-ing Bruno Mars' closet? Scott: I'm being brave, okay? You guys are sheep. You may want to take a long, hard look in the mirror. BigB: Better us than you. You look like a park ranger from a cartoon. Scott: Joel, do you think the hat looks bad? Joel: Oh, uh, me? Um, I... I wouldn't say it was bad. Like, I think it's just different, like something you would wear in Indiana... Jones and the Temple of Bad Hats.

BigB: Well Grian, I have to say, I'm really disappointed. Grian: Well, you didn't HAVE to say it. You could've just thought it.

[lovezbrownies]

Yandere!Chief of Police.

Character: Grim Ludenhart, 32, male, 199 cm/ 6'5 ft.

Pretty mild tbh, not too yandere but there is a future work containing your life with him after where it will be darker hopefully. also my ass did not read through this so whatever mistakes i made please ignore them thanks!

Minors DNI!!

Word count: 1725 words.

Content warning: Lying??, obsession, stalking, abuse of power, age gap (5 years- darling: 27, Grim: 32), implications of criminal activity.

Grim isn’t one for love, even the thought of it was unappealing for a while. Up until he met you. Grim was known to be a stoic man, however stoic he can be he was still extremely approachable. Ironically, Grim doesn’t care for anyone aside from his family. Grim would be less popular if these nobles knew what he actually thought of them, due to his job as Chief of Police, he and the rest of the Board of Chiefs of Xelera are required to attend every event and ball that Queen Nia hosts. Although Grim hates Queen Nia’s events he also likes to attend other events that nobles would host and invite him. He only ever goes there to make sure unnecessarily rich bastards keep up their support of the Police, as well as to maintain a good reputation among the nobles, he needs their support for whenever someone dares threaten his position.

All in all, Grim despises the nobles he’s constantly surrounded by, including the nobles he’d publicly called his friends. Which would be why he found himself here, in a tiny bar, sitting in a tiny booth, his real friends around him, all being middle class “peasants”. He liked it here, he can be the small town boy again with these people. ‘’So he cornered me, and mind you he’s doing all of this over a cake! He goes ‘Well, Grim, good to see you! Uh, you got that cake recipe written down yet?’ Blah blah, this man wouldn’t stop yappin’ i had half a mind to smack him right then and there and tell him my ma made it for me!” A roar of laughter goes off, as the laughing dies down Grim flags down a busser working at the bar. He couldn’t see them all that clearly but who cares, he’s just going to pay and leave after all.

Well, he did care, and so did his buddies as they witnessed Grim become awestruck as he talks with the server, an attractive young thing, possibly mid twenties. “Hello! My name is Y/n, is there anything I can help you with?” They greeted the table with a warm smile, a notepad in hand, waiting to be given orders to fulfill. Grim, awestruck, sat quite for a second before collecting himself when one of the guys he’s sitting next to nudged him. ‘’Ahem, yes, can I pay my bill please? Bill’s name under Greg Hart.” Grim cringed, wishing he hadn’t made up a fake name in this bar, if only he knew there was love around the corner. ‘Ah, giving your fake name to the gorgeous busser, how absolutely romantic!’ Grim chastised himself silently.

You nodded, smile as warm as the summer sun, ‘’Alrighty, I’ll get you your bill, does anyone need anything else however?” Your pretty eyes sadly cut contact with Grim to look at the rest of the table, while Grim had been completely fixated on you, even as you left he couldn’t get his eyes off you, the way your hips move, the way you swiftly move about the tables littered around the bar, the way you lean into the bar counter, the way your head tilts as you presumably ask for a Greg Hart’s check. Grim’s train of thought was caught off as the guy next to him threw their arm around Grim. “Well, looks like Grim isn’t interested in us anymore!” The group laughs heartily and Grim chuckles in embarrassment. 

Grim’s been a regular at that particular downtown bar since he’s started Cadet School, which would be now be 14 years ago, as soon as he turned 18 he had applied and gotten accepted. And out of those 14 years, the bar only just started getting better when you started working there. Grim had studied your schedule as well as he could, what shifts you had, whether you were closing or opening on a particular day. He knows everything about you, seriously, when he went to work the next day he managed to find your information after skimming through numerous pictures of other Y/Ns who were not you. Grim isn’t a slacker, so he sent over all of your records to his personal laptop to look at when he gets back home. And oh boy did he look! Grim didn’t leave a single record unread, spending hours going through your school records, your medical records, every job you’ve had, he learnt your family’s history entirely, safe to say he unfortunately missed out on seeing you that day at the bar.

Grim doesn’t like going to the bar during the weekdays because his job has always been top priority, yet here he was, chatting you up on a tuesday, the bar mostly empty as you two talk about everything and anything that comes to mind. At some points you’d get interrupted by another patron requesting help, and when that happens Grim liked to glare at them as hard as he could, eventually most regulars learnt to ask for whatever drink they want at the bar itself. Your boss also tried to lecture you on how you’ve barely been doing your job but one look from Grim had them scurrying away. 

He hates the fact you call him ‘’Greg’’, he has been chatting with you for 4 weeks now, although it really is his fault he couldn’t come up with a way to tell you that he gave you a fake name and he is actually a fearsome chief. Don’t get me wrong he has a spectacular reputation, he makes sure to have the people’s best interest at heart, but he doesn’t exactly look friendly, a tired set of lifeless eyes paired with lips that never smile has made people fear meeting him. But that’s okay! You know him now after all, you’ve seen him smile, his eyes still look tired but at least they have light in them now! Maybe you’d be open to him if he told you the truth, maybe you’d love him more if you knew about how much power he has! So, as charmingly as he could, asked if you’d like to come home with him after your shift, you know as friends obviously!

And you, charmed and ever so slowly falling for your favorite regular you agreed to his proposal, what you didn’t expect was finding out your regular was actually a chief, and the Chief of Police no less! You did freak out a little but Gre- Grim had calmed you down, told you he liked you and liked how you acted around him, “You are so cute, why would I keep coming to the bar and talk with you only if I found you disrespectful, hm?” Grim smirked at you, moving from the stove to you, standing to your left he leaned a closer to you, you were seated on his kitchen counter while he was cooking up something, you still weren’t sure what he was making but it was probably good.

You shrug, equally leaning closer to him, “Hm, dunno maybe you wanna eat me or something?” Grim chuckled lightly, a handsome grin on his face as he stared into your eyes, and by heavens was he gorgeous. His gray eyes twinkled under the ambient lights in his kitchen, his eyebags suit him so well it was almost unfair how much they made him even more attractive. “If I wanted to eat you, I would’ve already done so, dear.~” Grim’s voice was soft and smooth, masculine and deep, and oh so alluring. His head tilted slightly to the side, causing his hair to flop as well. You’ve always had this urge to touch his hair, to run your hands through it and put it in various different hairstyles, and so taking your chances you raised your hands up off of the kitchen counter and ran your fingers through his hair. Grim leaned into you, humming he closed his eyes, he seemed so serene like this, and his hair is so soft.

You sat there for a minute or so, just appreciating the man in front of you, still caressing his hair, his eyes closed, it seemed like he was so close to purring like a kitty, “I don’t think I’d mind it if you ate me, at least I’m being eaten by someone I like.” You hummed out quietly, yet this nice moment was cut short by him snapping his eyes open, grabbing the hand caressing his hair he brought it down, a little close to his face, which right now seemed a little pinkier than usual. “Y-you like me?” Your surprise was cut short, you laughed leaning into his shoulder.

 “Of course I do! Haven’t you noticed yet? Thought you were smart sir, Chief of Police!”  Still leaning into his shoulder you turned your head to have a better look at Grim, and quite frankly seeing him this flustered after watching so many interviews and speeches with Grim being completely expressionless was pure gold. Grim was staring at you, eyes wide but not meeting your own, eyebrows straight up, cheeks pink, and mouth slightly agape. You try to take your hand back so you can caress his hair again, but his grip tightens, seemingly getting out of his trance, Grim collects himself, he looks straight into your eyes, his eyes tender with love, he smiles gingerly, though his cheeks are still pink, it seems he’s gained enough courage to speak now.

Grim shrugged your head off his shoulder, cupping your face with his free hand Grim leaned into you, your foreheads now touching. Grim stares at you, looking deep into your eyes with such love it’s making you feel all types of flustered. “I hope you know I’ve never believed in love at first sight until I saw you, I- Can I kiss you?” Grim’s soft and honeyed words have you completely wrapped around his pinkie, he has now completely captivated your heart. You smile, nodding, mentally begging him to make the move, make you his. Little did you know that the moment he captured your lips onto his own you will forever be his, never being let go, and let’s just hope you don’t find out the things he has done and will do to make sure you stay his.

also bonus image :3

[darklinaforever]

Just because Emma D'Arcy says Daemyra is grooming doesn't mean that's the case. The actor, in the same interview, was literally wrong about Rhaenyra's age in episode 4.

Emma D'Arcy is an imperfect human being who can say stupid things. Especially today, many people use big words without knowing their real definitions.

I will add that even if Emma was talking about grooming, they did not agree and still did not find the scene where Daemon strangled Rhaenyra coherent, and rightly this time. Emma also said that they reads Daemyra fanfiction. So that basically means that they ship despite the problematic aspect. I wouldn't call it a victory for the antis.

Essentially, Emma D'Arcy seems neutral on Daemyra.

Also, Emma D'Arcy is an actor, paying to say certain things in interviews. Who's to say they's not just following the writers' stupid agenda ?

Then, I have already explained countless times that no, Daemon is not a groomer, notably in these posts, where I have also for some addressed the case of Emma D'Arcy and they grooming statements :

Moreover, even if the writers seem obsessed with a non-existent story of grooming between Daemyra, they do not seem to deny that it is a romance either. These people, and even HBO, obviously still have their ass between two chairs :

I will add that no, Daemon is not a pedophile either. Go to @nrilliree to get the definition because I'm clearly too lazy to explain again :

Especially since if you give me the example of the young prostitutes (which the antis also love to pass off as younger than they probably realistically are, like under 13 years old, just to make it really disgusting) when Daemon was in his 20s, know that they were all maidens.

“Maidens” is a term they use to refer to young unmarried women. In brothels these maidens were most likely between 15 and 17 or higher do to the lack of nutrition of the peasants. A bad nutrition causes someone's period to come later.

So no, they weren't little girls. This was for the time of young women literally according to society's of Westeros marriageable age.

The worst you can say about this case of prostitutes is that Daemon had a fetish for virgin maiden for a period in his younger years. (And even if it's obviously not great, I'm not sure #irony that we can put it on the same level as a groomer, a pedophile and a rapist... Yes I'm making an insituation in Aegon II for the last 2 points. We're getting there...)

Aside from that, Daemon was in a relationship with his then favorite, Mysaria, an adult, he also married Laena later, also an adult, and also married Rhaenyra when she was an adult (all according to our modern standards), although yes, he courted her when she was 14. But I remember that Rhaenyra had reached the age where she could marry and had already been courted by men. It's not surprising in the context that Daemon courted her. Especially since there is no evidence that anything sexual happened between them at that time. (One talking about sex is Mushroom, and we know to what extent he is obsessed with it and therefore that his testimony is almost worthless, and the second is Eustace, pro greens. And I remind you that the greens were already making up bullshit on Rhaenyra's sexuality before Daemon's return)

Basically, Daemon has always slept with maiden, and always of varying ages. (which is completely wrong with the definition of pedophile)

Limit, you can talk about ephebophile, but as @nrilliree already said, there is no evidence on this subject, especially since Daemon has also been with adult women several times (Mysaria for a little more than 1 year, Laena for 5 years, and Rhaenyra for 10 years), and this by our own standards modern.

Also, what makes me laugh is that these same people who will claim that Daemon only likes young girls who are essentially minors according to our time (because obviously they will look at age only according to our time, which is an error given that the historical context of this universe is completely different from ours, but in short), claiming that Daemon only married Rhaenyra for power and striving to say that Laena was 15 / 16 years old like in the HOTD show when he married her, while no, she was 22 in Fire and Blood. Well these same people will come and tell you and claim that Daemon did cheat on Rhaenyra with Mysaria, in addition to Nettles, during the dance.

An event whose veracity we also cannot prove and which seems somewhat strange when we take a closer look (so you will guess that I don't particularly believe in it either). See @horizon-verizon posts for that.

Why do I say it's funny ?

Well because Mysaria is an adult woman, much older than Rhaenyra and Laena.

But tell me... if Daemon is so obsessed with underage girls... why would he have slept with a former lover of his, who was already an adult at the time, and even older at this point there ?

We see that what really interests them is more to say bad things about Daemon whoever he is, rather than having any real consistency in their comments and accusations. (And if anyone dares to say that Daemon was sleeping with Mysaria to ensure he got her on his side... wtf ? Rhaenyra is the queen. She pays Mysaria and assures her safety. Why would sex with Daemon be the only way for Mysaria to ensure her loyalty to the team Blacks ? She literally hasn't seen Daemon in over 20 years I think. What would she care about him sexually or otherwise at this point, except perhaps for personal revenge ? And then, if Daemon really was with Mysaria to ensure her loyalty to his side... Well he's a bit much of an idiot if he really slept with Nettles after that. These people love to say that Daemon is a great master manipulator who places his pawns well in advance, especially when it comes to women, except that... Daemon does not seem to have been very intelligent if we follow this belief that I have already seen among antis, which is once again inconsistent with the speech Daemon was a master manipulator of women... I mean, according to their point of view, Daemon knew how to pretend for 10 years with Rhaenyra. Why couldn't he have lasted longer to play the charade with Mysaria ? Once again, the consistency of their words does not interest the antis. They only care about saying bad things about Daemon !)

And don't come for talk to me about Nettles, because I've already made some rather long posts on the subject, go see them if you want :

As well as I highly recommend the extremely in-depth analyzes of @horizon-verizon.

Basically, the story with Nettles could never be proven, and I personally don't believe it.

On the other hand, Aegon II is a character who could be described as a pedophile (by Westeros standards and ours) in Fire and Blood, having been with a girl (= child for Westeros. There is no adolescence in this society. Only childhood and adulthood. As a girl and not a maiden, a woman having her period and therefore marriageable, the individual with whom Aegon II was therefore indeed a child), and not a maiden, from precisely 11 / 12... And he's being also reported as having several inappropriate behaviors / touching towards women, strongly insinuating that he is a rapist (by the own maesters being on his side). And no, Eustace never denied the girl's age, and continued even though he referred to her as girl and tried to downplay the scandalous event.

And why am I talking about Aegon II fans ?

Because it's systematically them who come to me to tell me the bullshit about Daemon being a groomer and a pedophile while sometimes maintaining that their little favorite is not a rapist, and a potential pedophile.

Which is still pretty damn cheeky...

[ebonysplendor]

Bad End Cinderella (Demo)🤴

TL;DR: You ever look at a character in a story and think that they're deserving of what they got? Well, maybe, they can still get their good end, too. ...But probably not in this case.

Game Link: https://sauceco.itch.io/bad-end-cinderella

Notable Features: Male MC, Named MC, female LI, story heavy Spiciness: 1/5 -- And it's not really even spicy. The man is taking a bath with a glass of wine. Don't get me wrong, he looks good, but it's more of a vibe versus suggestive. LI MC Red Flags: 2/5 -- Obsessive, possessive, short-tempered, entitled, self-centered; he doesn't do much, but you can tell that it's brewin'.

Wanna know more? Even though it doesn't say 18+ explicitly, it does say that minors shouldn't interact...which is anyone under 18. That being said, shuffle off if you aren't of age. If you are of age, let's get into it!

Ah, intros. I never know what to put in them, so...I guess I'll talk more about the game but not so much it'll make the review pointless.

So, this game was really good, and it's not even done. Like, ugh, the writing is just so...it's elegant. Like, I want to buy it some champagne and do the posh "Oh ho ho ho ho~!" laugh as we exchange tales about poor people activities, even though I am the poor people, ya feel me? Let me tell you though, the story is everything but elegant. Like, the yandere? A royal? More like a royal fuck up. Ohhhhh~! Got hit ass!

Also, I almost forgot to mention that I put "MC Red Flags" because we're playing from the yandere's point of view which makes us him and him the main character and the main character is us since we're making the decisions for him. See? We're him and he's us. Just a heads up for that one.

Okay, is-- is the intro long enough? Are you cool with the intro being this short? Genuinely? You're gucci with me just jumping in? Because, I'm deadass just stalling. Bless you, let's stop stalling then, because I really want to tell you about this game. As usual, I'll tell you as much about the visual novel as possible without ruining the story itself.

With that out of the way, let's get into it.

Once upon a time Yeah, nah. I know it flows like a fairy tale and all, but nah. We're doing this my way.

So boom (ah~ much better).

Our -- well Claude's; that's the yandere by the way -- wife left us for some wack ass pleb, and we are officially the gossip among the commoners and will lowkey be the laughing stock of the royals. Honestly, it's embarrassing and really damned infuriating.

We're kind've running back where the marriage went wrong, and we've pretty much come to the conclusion that shit went left when we chose a hoe over our heart. Who was our heart, you ask? None other than our housemaid and (lowkey) childhood friend/sweetheart Ella.

We start reminiscin' about our one and only Ella, and just kind've recalled that we hadn't felt that genuine warmth, love, and happiness since her. Like, yeah, admittedly, we felt that with our wife for a bit, but it was mainly because she kind've boosted our ego quite a bit in the beginning, and it's like...she was there, so we may as well have learned to vibe with her a bit.

Pfft, yeah right. You see how that shit turned out. 6 years of straight misery. Fuck her and fuck that baker, too. Well...I don't know if he was a baker or not but...look, Silvia is a hoe, and so is her entire damned lineage. Period. Ella would've never ran off with some peasant the way that she did.

Wait...

Actually...we never really thought about that before. Granted, what we said about Ella never treating us the way that our ex-wife had is true, but we're starting to think that maybe that other part about her never running off with some guy is...not entirely true.

No, no, no, no, no. Negative thoughts rejected. That can't be true; it's not true. She's our Ella, and our Ella would've waited for us; our Ella did wait for us. We just have to finalize this stupid divorce and go looking for her.

So, we do. We finish the paperwork, break the shackles of being held down by a harlot that we tried to make into a queen just for her to go back to the cobblestones where she belongs, and look for our precious Ella. That being said, even though true love conquers all, this is pretty tall task to accomplish on our own, so we go to our main ally:

Esra, the royal oracle.

Nah, don't get excited, because this was a fucking waste of our time. This man wasn't an ally at all, let alone any actual help!

First off, we asked him for help, and it's just attitude with him. Like, excuse you? I'm your king? Watch your tone? Second, when we finally do get him to the point where he actually does what he's supposed to do, this mothafucka looks in his little special book and is like "Don't do it". Like, huh?! The fuck you mean "don't do it"? I ain't ask you for advice, I asked you for help, specifically how to get to my damned Ella. Then he's all "Okay, but the stars said--!" and we're like "Boy, fuck you and them stars"! Like, sir, not you telling me not to look for my Ella?!

Bump it.

We just take our lil' "help" and go on about our business, but it's like, it sucks, because now, we have to regroup and consider another ally. We start getting frustrated because why should we even have to do this in the first place, ya know? Like, why couldn't that dumbass oracle just help us like instructed? Now, because of him, we have to waste more time finding another ally, and the only other person we can even consider is ... oh Gods why ...

Floren fucking Winters. Let me tell you about this motherfucker...

He was the biggest ass to us when we were children, but unfortunately and admittedly, his bloodline is pretty top tier when it comes to combat. That being said, because of the arrangement between our families, we stay royal and they stay loyal per our late father's decree, so Floren's dad served, Floren currently serves, his future kid will serve, and so on and so forth. Anyways, I'll get more into this asshat's backstory with us later.

So, Floren comes trotting over in the middle of our monologuing talking mad shit already. He pretty much leads with "Worried about me when your divorce isn't even finalized? That's crazy. Oh, and that guy she ran off with? Lmao I bought him a beer".

Oh word? Is this what we're gonna do? Haha ooh, bitch...

Let me explain something real quick to y'all.

This dude (likely) had feelings for Ella at one point, too, if not still, and has always thought that we weren't good enough to be in her graces. That being said, remember that whole arrangement I brought up earlier? We stay royal and they stay loyal? Guess who had to ship out for 5 years to war? Guess who was making the moves on Ella for those 5 years when he was gone? Yeeeeeeeeah lmao.

So we remember all this, and we take a quick second to get on our king shit, because at the end of the day, he's beneath us, and we're damned sure gonna remind him.

See that? Now those of you that watch anime know that when the protagonist or the antagonist does this, they're about to lay into that ass and fuck up someone's world.

"Remember when you were playing hero those 5 years? It took less than that for Ella to create a divot in my hand and in my arms. Our worst times together were, would be, and are significantly better than your best times with her. Tell me you're jealous without telling me that you're jealous. Letting my birthright dictate what I do? Couldn't be me~"

Look at his face. Look at those dots. Silence. We ain't even have to correct him about the divorce...I mean, we did, but you know...summarizing. Wait, stop, don't get me off track.

Even though we just said all of that, and we had a "checkmate, bitch" sort of moment, we didn't really "win" the argument, because Floren kind've checks us about one very specific detail.

"'Couldn't be you?' Dude, it was you. You threw Ella away like a used toy when Silvia came along, and now you suddenly want to play with her again? The way that you're treating her like an object that's only there for your convenience is actually gross."

...Chile, so anyways. That thing about allies? Floren is far from one.

Even though, he was lowkey right. If Ella saw us now, she...wouldn't be entirely happy, especially about how we kind've blew up at Floren like that. We really have changed over the years, and we're starting to question our own integrity a bit despite feeling like we're still a good person overall. We love Ella, -- our Ella -- and we would do literally anything to be reunited with her.

"Are you so willing to risk the lives of unwilling innocents just to achieve your goals?"

Easily. The stars refused to shed light on our fate when asked, so I'll commit the sin first and ask for forgiveness later. That being said...

And we are probably going to sin a lot.

I'm gonna repeat myself a little bit here, but y'all the game isn't even done, and it's this good! Admittedly, as some of you that have been rocking with me know, I'm conceited when it comes to these visual novels, so I always want to be able to self-insert, and (of course) I prefer the LI to be a guy. That being said, when I saw that this was what it was I was like "Eh..." but considering that I'm a sucker for styling and that this was one of the people who are working on the masterpiece Something's Wrong with Sunny Day Jack -- **cough cough** I have a review of it here; shameful plug **cough cough** -- I gave it the ol' college try.

Okay, so, let's talk about the pacing, which was amazing. It honestly could not have been executed any better, in my opinion. The way that it just jumps right into the thick of it but not so much so that it's disorienting was such an Olympic skill. It was just so crazy that the dev was able to do that but still ease into the actual story where we see this man slowly spiral and the plotline start to take hold. It was just so beautifully done. Speaking of being beautifully done...

The yandere, Claude, is being written so well. Like mentioned, I'm genuinely enjoying the slow spiraling of this man, and I cannot wait to see how far he'll actually go for this Ella girl. Like, to read about the moment that he realized that "Oh shit...what are the chances that the woman that I blew off didn't actually wait for me?" and then he basically gets bout it, bout it with the royal oracle AND the captain of the royal guard? Not to mention, he actually acknowledges that something is potentially off with him but he rationalizes his actions and says that he's a good person and that he's doing it for love?! Like, brooooooo. We don't see it yet, but this man is bound to become a menace, and I am demanding an update!....please, I fucking beg, dev. I. BEG.

Also, just as a side thing. Can we just take a minute to talk aboUT HOW FINE FLOREN WINTERS IS???

Like Claude and Ersa are cute, don't get me wrong, but it's something about Floren. Hell, it's not something, it's errythang about Floren Winters! Like, that is hubby. That is baby daddy, and I don't even want kids, ya feel me? Like, I volunteer to keep that whole "You'll serve, your children'll serve, and then their children'll serve, and so on" thing going. We can spend plenty of time to make some babies, okay?

But no, yeah, I feel very strongly about the direction that this game is going in, and I am really excited about how the story will pan out. Like, what the hell was Ersa referring to? Why did his face literally just...?

Like, do you see that? That is genuine horror. Like, I imagine that he's seen countless prophecies, both good and bad, so what kind've shit did he see that was so appalling that he was just like "Bro, don't do this"? Like, deadass, my guy? Just straight up don't do it?? DUDE, WHAT TF DID HE SEEEEEE??????? Like, I want to know so bad! Best believe that if and when this full game drops, I will be right damned there!

Anyways, I'm gonna end it there because some of you already know how I get when it's a game that I really like. I'm gonna stop my yapping while I'm ahead. Before I officially end it though, I want to give you guys the link just in case you want to play it for yourself, and I absolutely think that you should. Also, it's been a while since the dev has gotten any comments, so if you want to do my bidding and let them know "PLEASE. I MUST KNOW HOW CLAUDE FUCKS THIS UP. UPDATE PLEASE. I mean...rest and take your time, but I'm literally offering my soul here", I'm sure they'd be delighted to know that people are still enjoying and anticipating their game. I'm pretty certain they're a part of the SnaccPop team, but I didn't see anything to donate to them as their own separate creator. If you find something, I'm sure they'd appreciate the monetary support, especially individually.

Okay, I'm gonna stop yapping for realsies now. Big preesh for getting this far. Like always, please remember to drink water, don't be dumb, and hope to see you around~!

Bad End Cinderella

[daitranscripts]

Skyhold Conversation: Krem

Tell Me About Yourself

Skyhold Masterpost

Available after Iron Bull's "Meet the Chargers" scene

PC: I wanted to talk about you, if that’s all right.

Krem: You know I’m from Tevinter. Wasn’t a slave, but even citizens have it rough if they’re not mages. I was a soldier, but women join the ranks under a different program. When they found out I was passing, it got ugly. I ran, met Bull near the border, and ended up here. Not a life I’d wish on everyone, but it’ll do.

1 - Dialogue options:

General: What is Tevinter life like? [2]

General: How did you end up leaving? [3]

General: Why do you pass? [4]

General: Goodbye. [5]

2 - General: What is Tevinter life like? PC: What’s Tevinter like for a citizen? Someone who isn’t a slave or a mage? Krem: I’m of the soporati, citizens who aren’t mages. Mages are in charge and everyone knows it, but a wealthy merchant can have an easy life. At the low end, people just try to stay out of slavery. My father was a tailor. I joined the army after the Imperial slaves drove him under.

Dialogue options:

Special: How did they do that? [6]

[Back to 1]

6 - Special: How did they do that? PC: How did slaves drive your family out of business? Krem: My father made shirts, aprons, that kind of thing. Nothing fancy. One of the magisters had a pet project, to prevent the poor from dying of cold in the winter. Nice, right? He had Imperial slaves making simple peasant clothes and selling them for almost nothing. That magister’s nice idea put out slave-made clothes at prices my father couldn’t match.

Dialogue options:

General: He had good intentions. [7]

General: Slave labor. Lovely. [8]

General: Who would buy those? [9]

7 - General: He had good intentions. PC: It sounds like the magister was doing it our of kindness. Krem: That’s the worst part of Tevinter: people don’t even realize they’re taking away your living. That magister wasn’t a terrible person. He probably saved slaves from dying. ㅤㅤ ㅤ 8 - General: Slave labor. Lovely. PC: It’s difficult to compete with someone who doesn’t get paid. Krem: That’s Tevinter. ㅤㅤ ㅤ 9 - General: Who would buy those? PC: Who would buy goods made by slaves, knowing they’d be hurting a citizen’s business? Krem: People with enough money for a new shirt or a loaf of bread, but not both. ㅤㅤ ㅤ 10 - Scene continues. ㅤㅤ ㅤ Krem: My father sold himself into slavery. He’s one of the servus publicus, the Imperium-owned slaves, now. [back to 1]

3 - General: How did you end up leaving? PC: You said you left Tevinter when they discovered your secret? Krem: Women are allowed to serve, but only in certain ranks and disciplines. I was up for promotion, but the healer I’d bribed to sign off on my physical had to tend a sick magister. When the replacement healer saw what was, or wasn’t, in my pants, he made threats. It was slavery or death, so I knocked him out and ran.

11 - Dialogue options:

Special: How did you get away? [12]

Special: Passing is illegal? [13]

[Back to 1]

12 - Special: How did you get away? PC: I’m surprised you escaped from the Tevinter Imperium so easily. Krem: It’s not like I lived in Minrathous. I was in Trevis, not far from the Nevarran border. It helped that I was being chased as a deserter, not a runaway slave. Slave-hunters only get paid for what they catch. They’re efficient bastards. [back to 11] ㅤㅤ ㅤ 13 - Special: Passing is illegal? PC: It’s against the law to pass as a man? Krem: It’s a crime to lie on an Imperial application for service. Would’ve been a heavy fine or slavery. For ten silvers, the healer said he’d tell the tribune I was sick in the head. Some pity for the mad little girl. That was when I hit him. I’d served for a few years. I was good at hitting. [back to 11]

4 - General: Why do you pass? PC: Why did you decide to live as a man? Krem: I didn’t decide anything. I’ve been like this my whole life. My parents wanted me to marry up. They tried to find me a nice merchant’s son. Every day, I’d put on a dress, look into my father’s shaving mirror, and just… hate myself.

14 - Dialogue options:

Special: Would you change with magic? [15]

Special: What did your family think? [16]

[Back to 1]

15 - Special: Would you change with magic? PC: If you had the chance to use magic, would you change all the way? Krem: What? No. I don’t want any magic like that within ten yards of my body. When I was younger… I don’t know. Everyone has silly dreams. In Tevinter, dreams like that get you killed. Bull helped me make a good life. Nice armor and a well-placed sock, and I’m happy. [back to 14] ㅤㅤ ㅤ 16 - Special: What did your family think? PC: How did your family react when you started? Krem: My mother wanted to throw me out. She said if I didn’t marry well, I was dooming the family to slavery. She was happy to take the money I sent as a soldier, though. Not that it mattered in the end. My father… when I was little, he’d angle his mirror down so I could pretend to shave, just like him. He never said anything, but I think he knew. [back to 14]

5 - General: Goodbye. PC: We’ll talk later.

[just-some-random-blogger]

Safe Keeping | 4

Part 1 2 3 4 5

"What say you, lady? Don't you think the Hound would make a fine husband? He would protect you, yes, and you would bear him many babes." I curtsy again but this time, my voice falters when I speak, "I- I think he would," I turn to my left, "Lord Sandor would make a fine husband... a fine father."

Sandor Clegane x Reader | 8k+ | cw: fem!reader, DEATH of characters/animals/monsters, POV shifts, mentions/depictions of violence, forced marriage, enemies to lovers, slow burn, angst, emotional unavailability, emotional constipation, miscommunication, The Hound being abrasive, canon typical casual misogyny/violence, themes/mentions of menstruation/pregnancy/miscarriage, baby fever, angst, typos, etc.

A/N: ❗❗please proceed this chapter with caution. i killed a bunch of characters/animals (well and monsters but i think deserve lmao)!!! ALSO POV SHIFTSS!!!! originally posted on ao3 but felt like posting it on here. also fyi i post this story on ao3 first

Tagging: @otteropera @poisonsage808 @glitterandgoldfinds @the-queen-of-sorrows @j3nn-1

The Hound found himself wrong about the thieving, wrong about the missing livestock. He was so wrong it nearly cost him lives, including his own.

He was so sure about himself when he went into the woods, so sure that he was going to find at least two men, at most five, luring sheep there. It was the men he was prepared for. Fuck the livestock, the farmers can get them back after he killed the fucks stealing them.

Ah, the farmers, barging into his wife's estate... into their house, into house Clegane. 

Fuck 'em, fuck the lot of them, complaining again, complaining about their sheep and their cows. He had enough of their yapping, now was the time to act.

Fuck 'em twice for being shocked when he said he'd go into the forest to kill the fucker causing all of them trouble.

The superstitious peasants warned him. The Hound heard; he even humored them by letting a few spring chickens, boy-soldiers in the making, 'aid' him as he went to the forest.

Between the young farmer's lad, Andrew, and the man-boy, Carter, who he had been training be a soldier, it was actually the Hound who was the one most frightened by that thing that stared back at them.

It looked as though it was twice his damn size. It was darker than tar, and stinkier than shit. It made an unholy sound before attacking them.

He doesn't remember what happened after that in all honesty. His instincts kicked in and he can't recall what he had done. All he knew was, in the end, the two boys were cheering and dragging a black corpse all the way back out of the woods.

The villagers looked at him. They walked towards him and shouted. It was not an unfamiliar greeting-- being pursued by villagers, and yet, it shakes him; it takes him off-guard. They come upon him and begin to weep at his feet. They thank him. They thank them as they hug each other. The thank him as they wave at him. They thank him as they touch his armor like a devout would touch an idol.

The Hound is perturbed.

"Thank you, milord! You killed the beast!"

"You saved our sheep!"

"You saved our families!"

"You saved our lives!"

The Hound was never one to back down, but Sandor found himself taking steps back when a group of children ran up to him and began to ask him how he killed it. Their little hands and big eyes demanded answers from him. His insides rise up to his mouth.

The children begin to talk about how they can go to the woods now.

"Oi!" Carter calls to the ones in front the Sandor, "you do know there's more than one woodland monsters, aye?!"

"But now milord Cligay killed one! He'll teach us how to kill the o'vers."

"It's Clegane. Lord Clegane! And even then, you buggers can't just play in the forest. The brown bears still live here."

"I haven't seen a brown bear!" a little girl cries out. She looks to the Hound, walking up to him, grabbing his hand, "there aren't any brown bears in the woods, right, milord?"

Sandor looks at the small thing. His hand burns at her touch. Her hand was not even hot, not even big enough to grasp half his palm and yet he feels lightheaded. He feels like he's going to pass out.

The Hound finds their sentiment to be all too much at one point. He grumbles he's going home; he's got much work to do. The villagers thank him as he leaves.

When he gets home, just as he gets near the gate, he beholds Lady Clegane, the people's champion, his poor bride. She is outside, speaking to some peasants; it was all she did as of late.

A breeze blows and her dress dances with the wind. Her hair follows as well, and along goes the air from his lungs.

She is the sun. He is a mountain trying to reach her.

Sandor, who hadn't realized that he stopped in his place to gawk, is shaken out of his trance when the stable boy opened the gates for him. The small child named Polly, about as old as his wife when she fled this place, nods at him and motions, "pardon, milord," he says nervously, "I didn't know you were waiting for me to open the gates."

The Hound looks at the boy as he walks in, "I wasn't," he gruffs, eyeing him as he passed, "don't worry about it, laddie."

Lord Clegane looks away from the stable boy when he hears the shrill cry of a babe. He spots the maester walking over to his wife with a wailing child in his arms.

He thinks about the letter he had to write to the Citadel, requesting a maester come to Brown Wood.

Lady Clegane thinks her husband's initiative for it stems from his sense of duty as a Lord, but she'll never know he did it for her, for her to know if she really did have a late blood cycle, or if she lost a baby. Maester Yannick told him it was, regretfully, the latter.

The Hound waited for his lady wife to tell him about it, to ask him to hold a mourning ceremony for the unborn child. She never did.

Sandor watches Lady Clegane willingly embraces the woman who thanked her up and down, over and under, for saving her baby. She tells the weeping woman that it was not her work but maester Yannick that saved the babe. Maester Yannick says it was not his work but the gods.

Sandor tastes something putrid in his mouth when his wife coos at the child, who immediately calmed when the maester reunited the small thing to mama. His insides tingle at the sound of his lady's laugh.

He curses under his breath when she turns to him. He realizes then he had stopped in his tracks again.

The Hound begins his march.

Lady Clegane greets him, but he is not strong enough to reply with a greeting himself. He doesn't know why he stops to tell her that he killed a woodland monsters though. She looked very shocked after hearing that.

He wonders if she was disappointed. He wonders if she wanted him dead.

She touches him and questions if he was injured. Sandor flinches and steps back. She recoils her hand quickly and wipes it on her skirt-- disgusted.

The Hound says she shouldn't worry her pretty squirrel head, then walks away.

His footsteps are heavy as he heads to his office. He didn't want to go through the fucking endless piles of paperwork, but the apprentice he had couldn't grasp basic mathematics quite yet, so, there he went, to go through paperwork in a musty office.

He wonders if doing this shit made a difference to her, or if she'd always see him for what he was: a groom, forced upon her as a joke from a stupid blonde boy; a beast with ill features and temper; a Hound.

He is almost tempted to look over his shoulder at the loud sound of baby's laughter. He doesn't, cause he wouldn't see anything but a wall of he did anyway.

He wonders when she'd ask him again, when she'd ask for a child from him.

He promises he'd be gentler this time, gentler.

He doesn't mean to be so rabid with her.

She just had such an ablaze spirit, she was so fierce, and so vivid that he found himself wanting to devour her whole-- a true predator.

He wishes he could be more than that. He could be more than that to her, but it's so hard to fill in to be someone you're not. The Hound was not a proper lord, he was not that pretty boy Alistair. He can only do so much.

Sandor would do much and more for her than that scrawny, faerie pretty-boy ever could.

She might not like it, but he'll do his best to give her what she wants, to give her a family in stead of the one she lost. She will never love him, but he knows she'll love all the children he could give her, and that was more than enough, more than he could ever hope for or deserve. 

I carefully walk up to the office, clutching my hands together as I prepare myself to knock on the door.

I clear my throat and retell myself what I mean to tell my husband. My palms begin to gush like geyser. I dread the fight I know will be had because of this topic.

I let out a soft gasp when someone calls me from behind.

It was the stable boy, Polly. He had run up to bow and greet me good morning. I smile at him and reach out to him. I brush his hair back, "good morrow, Polly, dear."

The boy grins and bows again, "I'll be learning how to ride a horse soon, milady!"

I link my hands together as I chuckle, "my! Will you now? How awfully courageous of you."

The boy pushes his shoulders back, "it's no'ffin, milady. Just what a man ought to do. I would go to war for you, milady, I would!"

"My boy," shake my head, "I pray you never need to do such a thing. I hope you enjoy riding though. I find that I do not."

"Do you find riding scary? I wouldn't! I'll let you ride with me once I know how, promise," the boy nods as he places a hand on his chest.

"You are very kind," I smile, "I thank you for it, Polly."

The boy puffs his chest out and bows, "I'll be goin' then, milady!"

I chuckle as I watch Polly run off as quick as a rabbit.

My soul nearly leaves me when I turn around and see the Hound looming over me.

I gasp and step back. He reaches out to me and grabs my arm. He keeps me upright and leans down, "you better stop calling the boy dear." He releases me and begins to walk off, "he's already in love with you as is."

I blink rapidly at his words. I turn to him and watch him march away before scurrying after, "he's a child."

"Aye," says Sandor, "all the children adore you."

My stomach curdles at his words; I am unsure why. I rub my hands together, not sure what to make of myself, or what to reply.

"What were you doing outside my office?" he asks.

I run up in front of him and grab his arm, "there is something I needed to discuss with you."

Sandor stops. He looks at my hand on his arm, "can't it wait?"

I pull my hand away and shake my head, "I understand that you are very busy, my lord, but I-"

"Fine," he mutters, "I'll lay with you tonight."

My eyes widen and I topple back at his words, "what?"

The Hound steps forward, keeping me upright again, "that's why you're here, aren't you?" He releases me, "your bloods have waned."

I feel my face burn. I gulp and force a smile, "I-" I chuckle nervously and straighten up, "y-yes. My bloods have waned."

Sandor watches me closely.

I rub my neck and blink rapidly, "I thank you for your thoughtfulness," I dig my thumb nail into my pointer finger. I turn from my feet then to Sandor, "but that is not what I wished to speak about."

His face falls. It's not anything noticeable but I have become quite good at it, reading his face. He purses his lips then says, "be done with it then, I've got work to do, pretty squirrel."

I feel my face burn even more at his horrible nickname.

A group of women had been complimenting my dress when the Hound passed. I knew they did not know he would react that way, but it did not help the embarrassment I felt when the women asked my husband if he thought my dress suited me and he replied 'pretty for a squirrel'.

"I wanted to tell you that I... I still very much wish to be the one to speak to the people about their concerns," I am unable to look at him when I say this, "it is not because I think you are unfit for the task, my lord, but I have seen the way you act around them."

"Like a dog?"

I knit my brows deeply and look to him, "Daisy is a dog. And I love her very much."

"That makes one of us."

We stare at each other for a long, blistering moment. My throat constricts at his words, "... Sandor."

His face contorts. He scoffs and averts his gaze, "don't say my name like that."

My heart begins to race, it twists and clenches. I step forward and reach out to him, "I see how you try to listen, how you try to help, but it scares you-"

I gasp when he rips his arm away before I can even touch him. He grabs me instead though, ripping me close as he leans down, "I'm not scared of peasants."

My eyes water. It's not even because his grip hurt, but because it was as painfully clear as it could get that this man did not like me at all, no matter what I did.

The Hound mutters softly, "do what you wish," he releases my arm, "you want to do my work so badly then? Fine. I didn't want ya to do anything you're not meant to, but have it your way."

I scratch my eyes before my tears could fall. I try to look at him as I speak, but the tears threaten to fall when I do. Instead, I fix my eyes on the floor, "I do not do this to upset you, Hound. I do this because I mean to help you. I swear it."

He is deeply disturbed by the softness in which these words are spoken. Hearing himself be called Hound was unreasonably heart piercing.

"I do not like it when you are angry," I whisper, "it would have been fine if it was only directed at me, but you spur everyone around you."

I flinch when he calls my name.

I shake my head, "if it pleases you, lord, I will do as you said the other day. I will no longer speak to you. I will not bother you. I will not stand in your way." I step back and pick at my fingernails.

Sandor holds back from stepping forward.

"Maester Yannick has been giving me herbs to help with conception, but he said that I should be in good spirits when... consummating... I do not think we should do anything tonight--" I look to him through my wet lashes, "unless you want to--"

"No, I do not," he says coldly.

I gulp. Tears begin to stream down my face. My lips quiver. I shudder. Of course he doesn't want me.

I curtsy and walk off. I break into a sprint after a few steps, as I am no longer able to hold in my sobs.

Sandor watches this. He furrows his brows, unnerved by the interaction, gutted by the fact it ended in tears yet again. He replays the conversation. Was his touch truly that hard? He looks at his hand. He curses loudly and storms off to fuck all.

Sandor wakes before the sky does. He opens his heavy lids and sighs. He turns to his right on instinct; he watches his wife stretch out her arms in the expanse of nothingness between them. He likes to think that she is reaching out to him. He likes to think that if he reaches back, it'll make everything fine between them.

But then again, it had never been fine between them in the first place.

He makes sure not to touch or move her. Last time he did, she woke up. She truly was a light sleeper.

He slowly gets up. He quickly gets dressed. The moment he gets out of the room, he heads to his office.

He's finished his work by the time he hears a dog barking. He looks to the window, the sun looks back at him. He stands, stretches, and walks over to the sill, pushing the curtains open. He sees her, Lady Clegane, cuddling the mutt she named Daisy. Fucking Daisy. Polly, the stable boy was waving a stick, but the bitch could not care less about it, too preoccupied by her master.

He watches Daisy lick her neck. He watches how she scolds the dog for it but giggles anyway. Sandor sniffles. His mind wanders to the one time he had his face pressed on her neck like that. Fucking dog.

He watches the pair go inside. The Hound heads to the dining room promptly after.

He mutters to himself, trying to decide how to start, "I don't meant to make you cry-- I keep making you cry-- Fuck-- .... I know you don't like me," he stops in his tracks before he can get to his destination. He mutters to himself some more.

Fuck it.

He hears the telltale patter of Daisy's paws. It makes his fingers tingle.

When he gets to the dining room, he furrows his brows at the emptiness.

Lucy gasps at the sight of him. She topples back then regains her composure. She puts the plate of food she was holding down on the table with a bang. She looks at him and curtsies, "your food, milord."

"Where is she?"

Lucy's glare darkens, "she is dining with the servants."

He chuckles drily. He feels disappointment. He feels hurt. He immediately plays it off, "pretty squirrel's finally had enough of me."

"WILL YOU STOP CALLING 'ER THAT!" Lucy bursts, taking the Hound off-guard.

They both stare at each other, as if equally as shocked by the outburst.

Lucy fumes. Sandor freezes. The former decides she's already spoken, so she might as well continue, "she is a lady! You took her for this," she motions vaguely. "You need her," she speaks firmly, "just as much as she needs you."

The Hound scoffs. His insides burn and curdle at the idea of the little girl needing a beast to keep her safe. He snaps, "well, go ahead and tell her I will gladly be her hound and breed her little monsters as thanks for her nice, warm castle!"

Lucy makes no attempt to hide the revulsion she feels at the sound of the hound's words.

"You know what," he snarls, "why don't I breed her right now as a thank you?"

Lucy's face drops. She runs up to the Hound when he begins to storm off. She crumples like paper when he shoves her away. He doesn't do it hard enough that she shoots off to the table, but it's enough for her to get the message: he was deadly strong.

Lucy does her best to stop him. She cries and begs and screams. She digs her heels into floor and yanks him back but it doesn't do much, it doesn't do anything.

The Hound only stops when he finally sees her.

Lady Clegane is laughing with the servants as they watch Daisy roll on her belly for food. She feeds the dog just as Lucy runs up in front of him, severely distraught and tear stained. Lucy pushes her hands on his chest and begs him to punish her instead.

The Hound is sickened when Daisy runs up to him and whines. He recoils his hand when the bitch licks it.

"Lucy?"

Sandor flinches at the sound of his wife's voice and turns the other way.

I was in the middle of playing fetch with Daisy when she caught wind of something and ran off to the gate. Usually, this meant Sandor was home. Lo and behold, this moment was not any different.

I turn away immediately when we lock gazes.

The Hound had a large cut of meat on his shoulder. He grunts as Daisy barks and runs up to him, "fuck off, bitch."

He does his best to avoid the dog, nudging her away firmly with his leg as he walks up to a wagon and plops the hind of a cow on there. He hisses at Daisy when she gets on her two back legs and rests one good leg and bad one on his hips.

"Daisy!" I call.

She ignores me.

Sandor looks over his shoulder, "your mam's calling you, dog. Go on!"

Daisy clearly doesn't understand, or doesn't care, and barks at Sandor when he shoves her away. 

"Daisy!" I call and jog up to her when she follows Sandor out of the estate. I run up to the gate and watch as she is chased by the Hound. She runs as fast as her three paws will allow, clearly enjoying what she thought to be a game.

"Come here, you stupid bitch!" the Hound screams.

I turn to one of the men near me. I call Arron over and tell him to tell the Hound not to chase after her. He does just that, "milord! She will stop running if you stop chasing!"

I make a face as Lord Clegane curses and does his final attempt at catching the dog.

"Shall I bait Daisy with some meat, milady?" Arron asks.

I am about to respond but then there is a loud shriek from afar. It makes my blood go still.

The Hound immediately stops, straightens up, and looks at the distance.

I turn to Arron in a panic and tell him to get bait for Daisy. He quickly does that and calls for the dog to come back.

A bunch of peasants run and scream towards the estate; they scream milord.

Sandor goes to them.

When he reaches the panicked townspeople, he tells them all to shut the fuck up and explain what's happening. The old one clamours out that her daughter's been taken, says she was herding the cows then she was suddenly screaming, and he tried to reach her but it was too late. He says his son went to the woods to try and save her sister.

The Hound nods. He easily decides to go into the woods. The man's other son to leads the way.

In truth, the boy didn't have to go with him, he could just head to where the animals were fleeing, but he allowed it because he recognized the boy to be one of the ones in training. He has no idea what his name was though.

He was glad to hear the screams when he did, at least the ones that sounded human.

The Hound sees a lad and a lass running up to him, "RUN WHILE IT'S DISTRACTED!"

The boy by his side screams back, "the Hound is here! He's going to kill it!"

Well, Sandor was only meant to save the girl, and now that the girl was about to run past him, he didn't have to do anything, really. For some reason, he felt compelled to press on. Maybe it was the lack of his sense of self-preservation as of late, or no, don't call it that; it was his need for a distraction, his need prove something.

He sees it, the monster and its fresh kill. It must have been one of the girl's cows, or at least what was left of it. Gods, the abomination was a messy eater. He was glad, at least, it seemed to be starved and solely focused on eating.

His boots stomp into a puddle of blood when he charges at the thing and cuts its head off. That's was quick... and simple...

He's shocked when he hears a hellish scream behind him and gets knocked into a tree.

The Hound is dazed. He hears the battle cry of two voices. He watches the brothers do their best to stab at the thing that towers and claws at them. He promptly gets on his feet and charges at the disgusting fuck, managing to chop off its arm before it chops off the boy's head.

Just as he thinks he's about to get the upper hand, another vile beast pops up from the shadows. He fixes his footing and slashes his sword for his life.

One of the boys get injured. The boy's scream attract the monsters towards him, allowing the Hound to stab through one of them when it's attention is averted.

By the time one of the two vile cretins drop to the ground, the two boys are running for their lives with one monster on their tail. The Hound is forced to chase after them and curses the boys for running. He's not as quick as he was before.

He screams and grabs a rock, chucking it at the slimy tar creature. He throws and shouts some more until the monster is turned back and running towards him.

He slashes the stupid fuck with his sword when its close enough. It still picks a fight though.

He's losing his breath.

The next thing he knows, there's another monster screaming from behind him. The Hound prepares for the one behind him, but it doesn't reach him because its busy ripping something off it with a growl. It chucks something to the side. There is a separate whine that hisses with the wind.

The Hound finally kills the first monster that attacked him. It doesn't take much for him to kill the other as its belly was already gushing with viscous blood.

Once he's the only thing alive and standing, catches his breath and curses. He looks upon the fallen black creatures before him and reckons he ought to get out there before more come out.

But then he hears a rustle to his side. He immediately goes on the defensive and readies for another fight.

He follows the sound of heavy breathing.

His face drops when he hears the way the dog whines when he's spotted.

The Hound sheathes his sword and drops to his knees. He looks at Daisy, her one front paw bent, the other one not. Her hind legs were twisted unnaturally, her side was clawed. She was soaking in red, both hers and otherwise. She was panting and quickly losing blood.

Sandor reaches out to her. Her eyes were wide and teary. She leans into Sandor's touch and licks her nose in a panic.

He begins to feel a rage burn in him. He begins to feel loathe. He whisper-yells, "you stupid dog. You should have stayed home."

Daisy's breath quickens. He realizes see that she is trying not to whine. Gods, the pain she must be in.

He is about to tell her she was stupid for doing that, he is about to tell her she didn't need her help, he is about to tell her she was so fearless for no reason, but then Daisy whines. It was the most horrible thing he's ever heard.

Sandor huffs like he had been stabbed. He grips his hilt tightly, "thank you for saving me, Daisy."

Sandor screws his eyes shut and decides on what he has to do.

He draws his sword. Daisy does not flinch when he presses the sword onto her neck. He thinks about the day they'd first met. 

Fearless.

He strokes her face with his hand once. He screws his eyes shut when he feels her shiver. 

So afraid.

"You're a good dog."

His next stroke pulls Daisy's final breath.

The Hound stands. He looks upon his dog.

He screams.

He screams.

He screams, hell-bent on summoning more monsters. He kills three more stupid fuck, particularly enjoying how he butchered killing a young one.

He takes Daisy's body after. She is rigid against his chest when he reaches the village. He barks out an order to the villagers: burn those fucking monsters he killed. They were more than happy to oblige.

He passes the family he had helped. They are about to come up to thank him but they don't when they see what was in his arms.

He is swarmed with dread with what he is faced with when he reaches the estate. It was very clearly as search party for Daisy.

"SANDOR!" I cry out when I spot him from the distance. "DID YOU SEE DAISY WHEN-" I stop myself when I realize he is covered in blood. Suddenly, I feel awful for not asking him if he was injured before anything else.

His form becomes clearer as I jog up to him and call, "ARE YOU AL-"

I stop in my tracks when I see him adjust something in his arms. I knit my brows and continue walking towards him. Was it a head of a monster? Why was it brownish and not black?

The Hound gives me a solemn look as he inches closer. I furrow my brows at his expression.

It takes a second then suddenly, it clicks.

I let out a horrified cry.

The Hound buries Daisy in the garden himself. Everyone in Brown Wood watches. I force a glance at my poor dog, even though I wanted to do nothing but turn away. Her injuries chill me to the bone. Lucy stands beside me, clutching my arm as she weeps, but does not look at Daisy once.

Maester Yannick speaks some words for her, as per my request, before Sandor covers the grave.

Once it was done, maester Yannick comes to me and says he will plant daisies at her grave come morrow. I cannot find solace, I cannot find myself to care.

"Did you have to slit her throat?!" I demand lowly, voice aching and angry. I eye the Hound with hot contempt and cynicism, "was there REALLY no saving her?!"

"My lady," the maester holds me back, "I saw her body. Lord Clegane showed her mercy."

"Did you enjoy executing your mercy?!" I wail, ripping my arms away from Lucy and Yannick. My gaze does not trail to them at all, as I am intent on getting answers from my dog's executioner.

The Hound's face is blank, it enrages me.

I snarl through tears, "gods, I hope you did! I hope you savored finally being free of your bitch!"

Lucy calls after me as when I storm away. She means to run after me but shoots a glare at the Hound before doing so. She is momentarily stunned when he sees how distraught he looks at the moment. 

Sandor marches out of the estate.

I jolt awake when I hear the front door opening. I wipe my face and quickly stand from the chair in the middle of the living space. The fireplace near me had already burned out.

After the sound of locks disappear in the darkness, I take the unlit candle on the table beside me and walk up to the burning candelabra to light it.

I hear heavy footsteps draw closer.

Boots skid, "fuck."

I look up after lighting my candle. The Hound looks back at me.

"What are you doing?"

I purse my lips and turn to my feet. I clutch my candle, finding it hard to speak. 

"Lucy kick you out of her bed?" he mutters then begins to walk off.

I look up and follow after him. I finally muster out, "you arrive later and later."

He scoffs.

"It's been five days. I fear you'll not return by the tenth."

I pull my head back and stop in my tracks just as the Hound turns and chuckles, "don't worry, little girl. I like the wages of a Lord. Your hound isn't running."

"I know you're not running!" I snap, "I wonder why you think so poorly of yourself!"

"I think poorly of myself?" he hisses and points to his chest.

"Yes!" I bark and push myself up on my tiptoes to prove a point, "and since you are so keen to put words in my mouth, I hope you shove all the fucking pie the unwitting peasants gave you down your blasted throat!"

The Hound is shocked by my profanity. His face slips into confusion.

I heave and pull back, intent on walking away. And I do. I should have never waited for him.

"What fucking pie?"

I snap and turn back at him, "the one you could have eaten fresh had you spared a moment this morning before leaving for a monster hunt!"

Sandor is wholeheartedly confused.

I am aggravated by his expression. I wave my hands, unintentionally putting out the flame of my candle, "they love you, Hound! They're thankful and grateful!"

Though it was darker now, I see his face pinch in to a sort of disgusted disbelief. The sight infuriates me, it squeezes my heart, it pricks me frustration. I wipe my face and repeat the words that were spoken to me, "tell Lord Clegane that without him my children would be dead. Tell Lord Clegane that he has saved me family from hunger. Tell Lord Clegane that me, and my sons, and my sheep are happy to-"

"I didn't do it for them," Sandor cuts me off with a hand raise.

I purse my lips and slowly pull my head back at his words.

He lowers his hand and eyes me for a moment. I see how his gaze drinks my figure. He clenches his jaw and looks away, "you should be asleep."

My jaw slacks.

I wait for him to look at me. I wait for him to ask if I was going to sleep with Lucy again. I wait for him to apologize for keeping me up worrying. I wait for him to bring up Daisy. I wait him to do something, but he doesn't.

My eyes water, "my lo-"

"Good night," he dismisses and turns around to walk away.

"Aren't you-" my voice cracks, "-going to ask me to go to bed with you?"

He stops in his tracks. He does not look back, "do you want me to?"

I furrow my brows deeply. I feel like I was drowning. I let out a shaky breath and wrap my arms around myself. I shake my head and turn away. I chuckle dryly, "forgive me for even asking."

Sandor turns back, jaw hanging, hands clenched. He does nothing but watch.

"Do you know what's going to happen now, little girl?"

"Yes."

"What's going to happen?"

"You're going to fuck me."

Sandor laughs lowly, placing his hands on my cheeks. He swipes his thumb on my lips, "filthy mouth."

He kisses me deeply.

"Tell me honest," he mutters through kisses, "have you ever done this before?" he speaks as his hands paw at my sides, "I would not judge you if you did."

I squeak when he touches me between my thighs.

He draws out a deep breath, "no, of course you haven't; you're a good girl."

I gasp at the sound of thunder. I jolt up from my bed-- I turn to my side, seeing a sleeping Lucy's form-- or I mean, Lucy's bed. I look for Daisy in the room as I slowly push the blankets off me. I still when I realize she wasn't here.

I huff and wipe my face. I try to push away the thoughts of Daisy out of my head. I try not to think of her so much because I end up melancholy and furious. I, instead, find myself drifting to the dream I just had-- been having.

The mind can be so treacherous. I nibble my lower lip and rub my belly.

I tried, you know. I went to the Hound the morning after we fought about his coming home late. I tried to make peace with him. I tried to persuade him. I tried to kiss him.

I gasp again when another crack of thunder echoes through the room.

He wasn't having it though. He pushed me away and told me it was wrong, that we shouldn't be doing that. He left the estate shortly after. He hasn't been home since.

I get out of bed and light a candle for myself. I walk to my bedroom and light any of the candles that went off on my way. I wrap my arms around myself and rub my skin. I open the door to room as softly as possible, though it didn't really matter in the end because it was pouring outside and the noise wouldn't be loud.

With a barely audible creak, the door opens.

And it was also empty.

I sigh at the made bed. I walk towards it and smoothen out the already smooth sheets. I decide to get dressed for the day.

I head to the office, which as empty as the bedroom. I light the candles there.

I sit down on the desk and go through the papers, the letters of requests, the list of complaints, the finances, the works. I rub my eyes, willing my sleep away. I look out my window, seeing barely any hint of sun through the dark clouds.

I don't know how exactly how much time passed between then and when Arron burst in, but it must have been a while, considering how nice it felt to stand after hearing him shout, "HE'S HOME, MILADY!"

I immediately blow out the candles as Arron tells me the Hound was in the living area. I thank him for telling me, gather my skirts, and jog out of the room.

I cannot hear the click of my heels over the sound of the persisting rain-- the persisting storm.

I stop in my tracks when I see a trail of water in the corridor that led to my bedroom.

A crack of lightning bolts through the sky when I walk in and ask "where have you been?!"

The Hound is dripping in rain water. He has his back turned to me. He is undoing his armor.

I clench my fists and storm up to him. I circle in front of him the same time he walks towards the closet. He stops there, still undoing his armor, back turned to me again.

I scowl, "Hound! I'm speaking to you!"

He looks over his shoulder, the one he was trying to undo, "what? I can't hear you over the rain."

I burn hot with anger and march up to him, "I asked where you've been!"

The Hound looks down at me. He releases the grip on his shoulder, "does it matter where I've been?"

"Yes!" I snap, "you haven't come home in 7 days."

He scoffs, "thrilling to know you've been counting," he points to the window, "well, as you can see, it's fucking storming."

"It wasn't storming the day you left," I hiss.

"Well, it was when I decided to come to my beautiful wife," he leans down and jeers.

I knit my brows at him and pull back when I smell the alcohol in his breath.

He takes my chin between his fingers, "come on give us a smile."

I pull away from him, heart racing, chin burning, even though his touch got my skin damp with rain water.

The Hound straightens up and undoes his armor again.

I step away from him, "Job said he saw you in the next town over."

"Who the fuck is Job?" he asks, not bothering to look at me.

"Polly's father."

"The stable boy?" he turns to me.

"Yes," I hiss and I feel anger build up in me.

He says nothing.

I nearly choke when I say the next words, "he said he saw you coming out of brothel."

The Hound stills. He drops his hands to the side.

Both of us just stand there for a moment. The rain seems to intensify, and so does the tension between us.

"Tell me the truth," I mutter, "do you-"

"It was the town with the fucking unavailable inn," he shifts in his spot to turn to me, "I went to the brothel instead and paid for lodging there."

I purse my lips at his words. That was not what I was going to ask him. I battle with myself, trying to find the words I want to say. I revise my words over and over again in my head. There were so many things I wanted to say, yet so little ways to make it easy to speak out.

I shake my head, "am I very hard to want?"

Sandor feels rain water drip from his fingers.

I don't know how I feel about the bewildered and perplexed expression that spreads across his face. I do know one thing at least, I feel too exhausted to cry.

I sigh and shrug, "I am no fool, Hound. I learned through the gossip of my maids and my aunts growing up that men are simply like... this. It is their nature to stray. Of course, I hoped different for myself, but we cannot have it all, can we?"

"But I didn't do anything," he snaps. He deflates, "I swear by the gods, old and new."

I press my lips into a tight smile. I slowly walk up to him. He watches me intently. I hear his breath hitch when I begin to undo his armor for him. I half expect him to make me stop. He doesn't.

Sandor steps forward. There's barely any space between us anymore. His heart is racing. His hands itch to touch. He releases a breath when his hand comes to my side.

My stomach swirls at the feel of his palm but I do nothing. Neither do I look at him when I mutter, "maybe you should."

Sandor watches me remove his armor. He furrow his brows and whispers, "what?"

I drop the steel plate to the ground with a clank. It is loud even with the sound of pouring rain.

He doesn't like it when he receives no reply. He takes my wrist. I stop my task. His hand is warm albeit the dampness, and so very gentle. 

I finally look up at him.

He leans closer and speaks louder. He shakes his head and furrows his brows, "what did you say, pretty squirrel?"

I raise my brows, "maybe you should."

"Should what?"

"Do something in the brothels."

His face falls. We stare at each other for a moment. He is clearly in disbelief.

I pull my hand out of his grip. He almost doesn't let me.

"It's not a trick, I swear it."

"What are you saying?" he shakes his head faster and finds himself playing on the offensive, "you want me to be with someone else?!"

"I want a baby," I mutter.

Sandor's face falls again, but then it twists. It is unbearable to look at.

"Find a woman you desire," I turn away from him, "and give her your seed. You may keep her here if you like, and I will let her take care of the babe, but the babe will be mine."

His lips part.

"You're right. I don't want the memory of my family to be tainted by monstrosity-"

He shakes his head once more.

"-and I am the last of my line. My line lives on with House Clegane. People remember names, not blood."

He takes my hand, "I desire you."

I cannot help it. I begin to cry because of that. I break into both tears and laughter, "you needn't shield my heart, Sandor."

Sandor's stomach drops, both at the fact his own words have been used against him and with how his name was spoken.

I place a hand on his cheek.

His knees go weak.

"We've both hurt enough," I smile, "I know you think otherwise, but I'm not a little girl. I know sometimes winning means admitting defeat when the loss is great."

He grabs both my wrists when I try to pull away. I gasp when he does so. He holds me for a second then releases my wrists to capture my cheeks instead. He wipes my tears with his thumbs. He swipes my lips, "I love you."

I screw my eyes shut and cling onto his forearm. I let out another laugh, "I don't think you hurt people that you love, my lord."

The Hound is pierced through his armor.

He doesn't put up a fight when I pull his hands off me.

I continue to undo his armor. He doesn't move an inch.

"Will you sleep with me tonight?" he whispers. The sound of the rain is too loud that only him and the gods heard it.

Sandor had been out of it ever since his pretty squirrel ate his insides. He was thick faced, literally and figuratively; he's learned to take pride in it, to find solace in the fact all the years of flesh ripping torture-- figuratively and literally, had made him indifferent to what people think, made him apathetic, numb.

And yet her smile that day was worse than a sword through the spleen. Her disbelief in his words-- because she was right, you don't hurt people you love-- was heart wrenching, blood draining.

What do you say to that? How do you fix that?

You don't.

He knows you don't. You can't fix something like that.

And since this truth has dawned on him, since this truth has slit his throat, he's been a headless, mindless fucker. He was a dead man walking, and one more unwitting monster attack away from making it real.

"MILORD!" Carter cries, raising his sword to hack at the monster who managed to swipe his lately-been-aloof Lord Clegane.

The boy is fired up; his blood is pumping enough to enable him to cut the black demon's arm off and sequentially pierce it through its heart. Carter does it with a scream and regrets it a moment later; after all, they were in the middle of the woods.

They have to get out of here.

Sandor makes a pained noise. He feels heat surge down his arm and cold shiver up his spine.

"YOU'RE BLEEDING!" Carter gasps, mortified that his lord's armor was scraped off his back. The boy realizes suddenly that his Lord, the fearsome Hound, was not invincible. This newfound truth rips into his ribs the way, he thinks, the monsters would.

The boy immediately takes the Hound in his arms, though it wasn't like he could actually carry him if he wanted. Sandor steadies himself on the boy; Carter struggles even with that task. 

Still, the smaller manages to support his Lord out of the woods.

The next thing Sandor knows, he's screaming and thrashing. He vaguely hears the sound of footsteps skidding away from him.

"What's happening, Maester Yannick?!"

A deep sigh, "he probably feels the pain now."

Sandor realizes he's sat down on a stool, leaned against a table, or at least he was before he started flailing his arms around. He lets out a guttural cry as he pushes himself up. He realizes he's in the ward, being attended by the maester, and his wife was present and very troubled.

"My lord!" Yannick exclaims, raising his hands in both surrender and an attempt to soothe, "it's alright. I have stitched your wounds closed. Do not tear them open "

Sandor huffs through his nostrils. He turns to his side when he hears the soft way his name was spoken. Lady Clegane walks closer, hand wanting to reach out to him. He almost reaches back but then she digs her nails into her palms.

He sinks into the stool and watches her look at him. Her eyes are glassy. Why are they always glassy?

"My lord," Yannick walks towards him, "I'm going to wrap your wounds now."

Sandor huffs in agreement, or more accurately, acknowledgement. His eyes are still fixed on her though. He watches her hover around him, evidently unsure about approaching him.

He wants to reach out to her. He wants to touch her, to soothe her so, so badly.

He's shocked when she decides to take his hand and whispers, "shall I get you milk of the poppy?" 

Sandor looks up at her. Her voice was shaky and he hates how worried it sounded, how desperate. He hates how her eyes were constantly red. He knits his brows, "no."

She hisses, "are you certain? Your gashes are deep. No one in the world would fault you for wanting something to relieve the pain."

"I want to feel it," he mutters, "I want to feel."

She looks between the two of them in a panic, "but you've lost so much blood--"

"Perhaps," Yannick interrupts firmly. He starts binding his wounds, "he wants to feel precisely because he's light headed after losing blood."

Sandor straightens up slowly as he is instructed to. His attention is solely focused on the sensation on his hand though, on how the jittery squirrel was rubbing her soft fingers on his calloused skin.

She persists with this action until his chest and back is bound, she persists until Maester Yannick leaves the room, she persists until, next moment, she drops on her knees beside him. The Hound reacts in an instant.

He gets on the floor beside her, uncaring how it hurt his back, and clutches her face. He calls her name in horror.

"Are you punishing me?" she whispers as water in her eyes threaten to spill.

Sandor knits his brows deeply. He can't speak. He's too afraid to. Everything he's said up until that point has done nothing but rip them both apart. He was a hound after all.

"Are you trying to kill yourself to get back at me?" she mutters, distressed, pained, and defeated.

His face contorts even more. He hesitates but then shakes his head, "no."

"The boy said you've been acting differently as of late!" she grabs his wrists, "ever since I told you what I wanted from you."

His lips twitch. He looks away.

She tightens her grip, "please."

He is suddenly so acutely aware of his injuries. The pain throbs all the way through his heart.

"Please," she begs softly, "just tell me what you want from me-"

"Everything."

The way he responded was quick, as if it was practiced, as if it was reflex.

He avoids her gaze. He takes a deep breath. He waits for a response he somehow knows will never come.

When he turns to her, he notices how her face dropped. Gods, Sandor. Get it together.

"I want-" he starts but cannot continue because of how guilty he feels over the sight of her wobbling lip.

Sandor's hands loosen. They melt from her cheeks, down her shoulders. He grips the area, as if she was water about to slip through his fingers. He releases a breath, and with it, it seems, his thoughts escape. He mutters somethings that mean nothing. She doesn't understand anything.

She whimpers, "I have nothing left to give; you already have it all."

The Hound freezes when his cheek is touched, when his scar is touched. It's like it's being burned all over again.

"Is there something I can give you now?" she huffs uneasily.

He sighs. He feels the wounds throbbing; he feels his head pounding, "no."

"Then will you let me go now?" 

No. No, no, no, no-

"Or, please, at least loosen your grip."

Immediately, Sandor releases her shoulders. She sequentially lets out a breath and rubs the area. There is an imprint on the area of her exposed skin.

Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck-

"Do you want me to stay?"

Yes. "Do you want to stay?"

"I had planned to finish some errands before going to bed."

Sandor averts his gaze then slowly crawls back to his stool, "then leave."

It almost hurts as much as his cuts how quickly she stands. She looks down at him, "I will leave you to your solidarity."

Please don't go.

"I will tell Maester Yannick to come back to attend to you, Hound."

Hound. It sounds like shattering glass.

Sandor listens to the click of her heels as she leaves him.

[cressthebest]

Crimson Rivers thoughts part 37

chapter 56:

1. 😦 they.. they put a mask on sirius? they put him in azkaban?? my boy!! no!

2. 😭😭 sirius having already killed three guards tho. i love him

3. “Bastards they may be, stupid they are not.”

4. “At least he gets the sound of his own voice, though, which is a huge improvement in his opinion.”

he’s so funny i love him. he’s a murderer! he fell in love with a servant! he loves the sound of his own voice! he’s demisexual! he volunteered for regulus twice! he likes wood carving! he called the random guard “stuart”! he convinced the head gamemaker to change the rules so he can keep his brother and best freind! he continues to obnoxiously sing when face to face with riddle!

no one is doing it like him, i fear

5. “"Sounds like you've had a shitty week," is what Sirius says, finally, when he can bring himself to speak.”” 😭😭 he’s so bold. my dear, you are chained in front of the most dangerous man in the world and you tell HIM that his life fucking sucks. my dear. the ABSOLUTE GALL you have

6. “"I need not lie, Sirius."

"Yeah, that's what liars say."”

my DEAR

7. “”Kneel down on the floor before me like a dog and beg."”

i prefer this out of context. but in context, it’s riddle being an absolute bitch to sirius. like excuse you.

8. “Sirius Black is many, many things, but a peasant before a king is never and will never be one.” A-FUCKING-MEN

9. 😮 did sirius just BITE OFF A CHUNK OF RIDDLES ARM??? praise be

10. marylily?? marylily??? MARYLILY??? going feral at any and all hints towards them

11. “"I like your legs," Lily says stupidly, because her brain and mouth have disconnected briefly, apparently.”

bbg i’m in love with you 😭😭

12. aww any mentions of petunia from lily break my heart

13. lily being so desperately in love with mary is my new drug

14. REMUS AND LILY FALLING RIGHT BACK INTO ROUTINE WITH BEING OBNOXIOUS TO EACH OTHER >>>>>>>>

15. “Lily gave him his [cigarette] first in six years days ago, and he'd coughed through the whole thing, then smoked five more back-to-back.”

16. “A stranger is just someone you haven't met yet. What do you call someone you knew better than yourself that you no longer recognize? A ghost?”

wtf wtf wtf that’s insane to write. lily and remus did NOT deserve this

17. “Lily has never known a Remus afraid of freedom, and Remus has never known a Lily afraid of love.”

18. “because they're still two bodies and one heart after all this time, if nothing else.”

that is beautiful and i’m forever grateful of the way the marauders fandom puts emphasis on the importance of friendships. like, this isn’t about a romantic couple. that is said about FRIENDS. friends got that description of their love for each other.

19. the fact that their friendship is so close, remus can REACH INTO LILY’S bra (to grab a cig) and she’s just upset cause his hands are cold.

20. crying actually, cause of all things to break me this chapter, it’s the fact that sirius and effie smoke together

21. oof i have a bad feeling about how dorlene is gonna end up

22. 😦😦 marlene gives the ring back. wtfffff damn that hurtsss

23. “”I am telling you this explicitly, right now, if you shoot your shot and fuck up in any way, I will let her pick a part of your body to take as a trophy, then remove it and give it to her. Still interested?"

"Even more so," Rodolphus says, wiggling his eyebrows. "She's got crazy friends, too. That's hot."”

me fr 😌 give me insane bitches (oh wait. maybe IM the crazy person)

24. 😳 practically fifteen seconds of flirting and he and barty decided to go fuck. that’s fucking insane. IS THIS HOW ALLOS ARE??? LIKE THEY CAN DO THAT??? (not all allos obviously, but some can do that??)

25. the way servants (slaves) are treated in the hallow make me angry beyond belief. like, seething white hot anger

26. FOAMING AT THE MOUTH AND NOT IN A GOOD WAY!!! THEY FIXED JAMES’ EYESIGHT AND IM SO FUCKING PISSED

27. riddle tortured sirius and lemme jsut say, if someone told that to remus and regulus, the war would be over in a day flat

28. “The odds are not in Riddle's favor. If you ask James, he'll bet on his people every fucking time. It's not a game of chance, or luck, but a game of faith—and James has that in spades.” james’ loyalty is probably my favorite character trait of his

29. honorary authors note mention: “also lmaooo sirius literally in prison and still killing people 😭 he really said: you put me in prison, im gonna commit crimes, duh 🙄 he's everything to me”

30. honorary authors note mention pt 2: “rodolphus "i will hit every step on the crazy ladder if it kills me" lestrange living his truth and getting with the most insane, available people he meets every chance he gets””

[krystal-kade]

You know,the worldbuilding for hazbin and helluva are interesting but at the same time,I feel a bit bored by it. Sorry,it's just it has potential and all of that but hell is just like a nighttown that you can go there and suffered no consequences. And I know helluva is a spinoff to hazbin hotel except it's just destroys the both meanings of it. Especially since hazbin is about redeeming sinners while helluva boss is just don't get mad at me but just soap opera between an elitist with a peasant. I thought helluva boss is gonna be us seeing the IMP doing their missions and encountered many different challenges on navigating a business not seeing a dramatic retelling yaoi festizhization love story of stolas and blitzo. And with hazbin,it's just I wanna see hazbin having different customers and guests and how they interact with the hotel not a literal fight with heaven of all things. What's next? Do I need to get into getting myself info a lore Livestream of Viv telling us? No,I want subtle storytelling not an Italian soap opera,ah man. Ah,now because of this I have to entertain myself with fans making fanmade comics of both helluva and hazbin hotel and I'm not complaining because let's face it,fans does it better than the creator Viv does.

Vivziepop so quickly strays from her original concepts, and it makes both shows difficult to watch. The last Helluva Boss episode that includes I.M.P. going to Earth on a mission to kill someone is episode 5, ‘Unhappy Campers,’ and that was only Millie and Moxxie. The last time the whole team went was episode 4 of season 1! Helluva Boss is now just a show about Viv’s twinks and kinks. I genuinely think I’ve seen enough of Stolas for a lifetime. There’s so much potential with a show like this, and I would have loved to see Helluva Boss explore both Hell and the Human World, but it does neither. There are so many ways this show could be executed to explore the worlds and character dynamics, but we barely even know anything about how these characters interact with each other.

Hazbin Hotel does the same thing. We have the possibility to explore Hell and Heaven, but we don’t. Hazbin Hotel is also supposed to be more about the women characters, but we know very little about Charlie, Vaggie, Niffty, or any of the other women; we instead get episodes about Husk, Alastor, Lucifer, Angel, Vox, and Val. Hazbin was supposed to be about new people coming to the hotel to learn about redemption. The only person we actually get is Sir Pentious, who doesn’t even change or learn anything about virtue and redemption. We also kind of get Cherri, but she isn’t even part of the hotel. 8 whole episodes for two official people in the hotel. I’d rather we see people coming to the hotel and learning about redemption for an entire season instead of the drama we see go down with Adam and Heaven.

Hazbin Hotel and Helluva Boss just move WAY too quickly. I think it’s even difficult for fans to write fanfics and comics about these characters because they have nothing to go off of. Almost none of the characters have personalities, and we don’t know how they interact with each other. However, I do think that Viv’s Hell is an interesting world. I just wish it was explored more. We’ve only see a few of the rings, met a few of the sins, and seen very little of Hell at all. I have no hope that Hazbin Hotel or Helluva Boss will be better shows, the only hope I have is that in 30 years, someone reboots these shows, and actually makes them good.

[heavenlyhoundoom]

Sun and Moon show incorrect quotes 4.

1.Moon: I just watched Bloodmoon jump off of a spinning chair. Luckily, he wasn't hurt that badly. But the whole time, Lunar was screaming for help, which caused Earth to run in to help Bloodmoon. Just note that all of this happened in the span of six minutes.

2.Eclipse: You know, people treat me like a god. Bloodmoon: How? Eclipse: They ignore my existence unless they need something.

3.Earth: How long do you reckon it’ll be until Sun finally snaps and commits murder? Bloodmoon: I’ve been going through life assuming it’s already happened at some point and it’s just that no one was ever able to trace it back to him.

4.Lunar: It smells like henway in here. Moon: Sun: Moon. Sun, forcefully: Doesn't it smell like henway in here? Moon: sigh Moon: What's a henway? Lunar: OH ABOUT TEN POUNDS!

5.Moon, as a child, reading their school assignment out loud: I love my library because… Moon, mouthing words while writing: I love reading, fuck you.

6.Earth: What's your greatest fear? Ruin: Being forgotten. Earth: … Earth: Damn, that's deep. Earth: Mine is the Kool Aid man, but I feel kinda stupid about it now…

7.Bloodmoon: I have a plan. Lunar: I have the hospital and Sun on speed dial.

8.Earth: What's worse than a heartbreak? Lunar: Waking up in the morning and your phone wasn't charging. Moon: Waking up in the morning. Ruin: Waking up. Bloodmoon: Waking up in the morning… Bloodmoon: And seeing Eclipse. Eclipse: Hey! Rude!!

9.Ruin: I hate how you're just born out of nowhere, and you're forced to go to school and get education so you can get a job. What if I wanted to be a duck? No one ever asked me if I want to be a duck!

10.Sun: Yesterday, I overheard Moon saying “Are you sure this is a good idea?” and Bloodmoon replying “Trust me,” and I have never moved from one room to another so quickly in my life.

11.Sun: So, what are we doing? Moon: Wasting our lives. Sun: I meant for lunch…

12.Lunar, learning how to drive: What happens if I press the gas and the brake at the same time? Bloodmoon: The car takes a screenshot. Eclipse: For the last time, get the fuck out!

13.Bloodmoon: It's not like I try to blow things up, exactly. It just sort of happens. You've got to admit though, fire is fascinating.

14.Ruin: PEASANT. I REQUIRE SUSTENANCE. Eclipse: You know there are other ways to say you want McDonalds. Ruin: FOUL PLEBEIAN. YOU DARE SPEAK AGAINST ME— Eclipse: sigh What do you want? Ruin: Chicken nuggets please.

15.Moon: Hello, my name is Failure, and you're watching my life crumble into pieces. Moon: waves their finger and sings like they're in a Disney Channel intro

16.Eclipse: Everything will be ok. You can not stop it. Eclipse: Everything will be fine. You have no choice. Moon: What the fuck kind of pep talk is that? Eclipse: Ominous positivity.

17.Ruin: gets a text Oh! It’s Bloodmoon. Eclipse, excitedly: Did they get me the stuff? Ruin: Yeah, they say they got you the clown costume, the power drill, and 12 gallons of blood. Eclipse: Wow! Where’d they find 12 gallons of fake blood? Ruin: You wanted fake blood? Eclipse: Ruin: I’ll go call Bloodmoon.

18.The squad is playing a team sport Sun: Are you upset you don’t get to be on the same team as Eclipse? Bloodmoon: Have you ever played a game with Eclipse? Sun: No… Bloodmoon: Have you ever been trapped in a cage with a wolverine? Meanwhile, on the other side of the field Eclipse, chasing Moon: I SAID FASTER! DO YOU KNOW WHAT THE WORD “FASTER” MEANS? IT MEANS MORE FAST!!!!

19.Sun: Hey, how did my phone break? Eclipse: You were drunk yesterday. Sun: And? Moon: You threw it. Sun: Why? Ruin: You turned on airplane mode and kept screaming “FLY DAMN YOU!” Sun: And why didn’t you stop me?! Bloodmoon: We were busy laughing our asses off.

20.Eclipse: Are you trying to give me a fucking aneurysm? Bloodmoon: Pretty sure we all are. Earth: I wasn't. Moon: I was. Sun: I was trying to stop them, for your consideration. Ruin: I just cause aneurysms naturally.

[crepes-suzette-373]

【Dengeki Blue Game Stream】Battle Fruits Nine w/ Stealth Black - Dengeki Blue carries the level while Stealth Black is Useless as always [off-camera view]

A kind of fanfic version of that one drawing I made of Niji and Sanji being Vtubers. There's no real plot. Just modern AU chaos and rambling and general silliness. Everyone's normal/happy, the Vinsmokes are a good family, no sad, no angst, no painful drama.

This all basically just a big joke because "Nijisanji" is a Vtuber company name.

[AO3 Link]

----

He’d brought this upon himself, Sanji had to admit. The last time Niji nagged him to “guest” in his livestream, Sanji said he’d do it if Niji got him Vegapunk’s new mini combi oven, just to get Niji off his back. All Vegapunk appliances are expensive, and even if their family was well-off he figured it’s still high enough up there in price to make Niji leave him alone for a while.

The oven showed up in the brothers’ shared apartment within 2 days.

Sanji wasn’t sure if he was more baffled about Niji having that much money to spare, or that Niji wanted him on the stream that badly. He still felt guilty about it, though, so he’d told Niji he promised to agree to be a guest without protest 10 times, as long as he’s not tied up with more important things to do.

Naturally, he got ambushed the very next day.

That was how Sanji found himself sitting and waiting for Niji to set up whatever it is that was required to have a second person on his livestream, and hoped that it wouldn’t be a “talk stream” session that day. Chattering idly with anyone for an extended amount of time without there being some other activity involved, like eating or watching TV or him cooking, always made him feel awkward. With a gameplay stream, at least there was the game they’d be playing.

Not to mention, “his” virtual character apparently had a specific backstory associated with it, and being on a talk stream tended to involve having to adlib some kind of fictional story on the fly. Fortunately, he wasn’t required to keep up play-acting the character the whole time, no, and he left most of the wild details to Niji. He still had to include the fictive anecdotes, though, because of… some reason he much preferred to not know.

It was very confusing the first time he got dragged into this. Niji sat him down and explained in great detail about the backstory of his virtual persona, and Sanji still had no idea why he didn’t immediately run away then. It was a complicated setting with superheroes (or was it supervillains?) called Germa 66, mad scientists, clones, and quite honestly he wasn’t sure he remembered all of it.

Niji did set up their characters to have mundane daily lives, like all good classic superheroes do. That way they can also mention some things about things they did in reality and pretend that was part of the mandatory “lore”-talk, and not have to constantly make up random stories about aliens and robots.

They still had to be careful not to reveal things that are too personal or private, though. Sanji almost called Niji by his real name instead of Dengeki Blue a couple of times at first, and Niji kicked him in the shins every time that happened. As thankful for the save as he did, he still always kicked back.

“Aaalright, and here ya go.” Niji finally finished fiddling around the computers and handed Sanji a controller and headphones.

“What’s the game gonna be?”

“We’re continuing Battle Fruits. Still remember how to play that?”

“Of course I do, damn you, I’m not a techno-peasant!”

Niji cackled. “If ya say so,” he said with an oh-so-smug voice, putting on his anti-glare goggles and rolled his chair to face the screens.

Sanji doesn’t reply. Yes, he played by random button mashing and can’t remember any skill combos. Yes, Niji usually does most of the work in clearing the missions. He still knew what button does what, though, so that still counts as knowing how to play. 

“Starting in 5… 4… 3… 2… 1… And—Loyal Germa fans rejoice, Dengeki Blue is back with everyone’s favourite guest: Stealth Black!”

There’s a reason why Sanji was very glad his character was just a static image, and not a moving model like Niji’s, because he doesn’t have to worry about his movements making the model behave weirdly. Niji’s opening babble were always ridiculous, and he could never not have the urge to cover his face and groan.

The character image was not actually him, but some of his friends were regular viewers of this stream, and they will make fun of him for any character hiccups. There was that one time the image was for some reason displaying upside down, from the top of the screen, and Usopp then called him “ninja” for days upon days after.

“Black, say hi to yer fans.”

Sanji removed his hands from his face, and saw that it was not the game screen that was on, but the setup normally used for the talk stream. Immediately suspicious, he asked, “Aren’t we playing Battle Fruits?”

“It’s just a little chat. I’ll open the game in a sec. Just say hi for a bit.”

“Do I have to?”

“They already heard ya talking, so ya might as well. Come on, say something nice, or yer fans will cry.”

It was an annoying testament that he had been here for too many times when he looked at the chat box and actually remembered and recognized a lot of the names among the flurry of comments. Still, he wouldn’t deny it was flattering to see the excited welcoming remarks.

Oh, there’s Usopp. The name “GodSogeKing” flew by, and he said, “Hello SogeKing” instinctively.

“Oooh, ya said someone’s name!” Niji crowed, “Ya done did it now.”

“What? Why?”

“Yer not playing fair. The others are really mad jealous now~”

“How is that any different from saying ‘Hello everyone in the chat’?” Sanji protested.

Niji shrugged, grinning. “I don’t make the rules.”

The chat was, indeed, now peppered with new comments saying the varying forms of “Stealth Black say my name too”. Once again, it was somewhat flattering (if a bit weird), but he would never loudly admit that.

“Say, what if we make that a chat donations thing? Nothing special, ya can just say ‘thank you whoever’.”

“Are you trying to use me for cash bait? No!”

“Fine, fine, but speaking of yer fans though, ya ok with having merch of ya, at least? One Dr.Death has been a pest about Stealth Black merch forever.”

Sanji huffed a laugh. “Dr.Death? What kind of edgy junior high online username is that?”

He immediately realised his mistake, but it was too late. Niji was already hysterical beside him.

“Ya heard that Dr.Death? He said your name! I know yer there. Bet yer drowning in happy tears, aren’t ya?”

“What the hell? Did you just trick me to say that? What merch are you even on about?”

Niji shook his head, still howling with laughter. “No, really, that right there is your biggest fan. Back me up chat, tell Black what Dr.Death said. And here’s merch.” He then pulled out his phone and showed a picture of a little Dengeki Blue keychain.

Well, if it was just the illustrated character and not him having to dress up, then it’s no issue. “Okay by me, about the merch, but...”

“Yes!”

Niji proceeded to go on about the logistics of the merch, so Sanji looked at the chat box again. Lo and behold, there actually was a Dr.Death in there. The aforementioned user was vehemently denying the barrages of comments providing so-called proof that Niji was right and other teasing remarks.

Dr.Death: Hey, Black, if you’re seeing this, I was NOT like that!

It was immediately followed by a ton of more comments, all saying “lies lies”.

SuperFrankyR0b0: Bro, the previous stream chats are all still there. Everyone can see it.

Damn. With even Franky saying that it was true, Sanji decided it was definitely too weird and ignored the chat until Niji finally started the game.

Despite even the game’s tutorial recommending using different Fruit Battlers for each stage, Sanji always picked the Orange Battler. She was his favourite and no amount of whingeing from Niji or the viewers about her being useless in certain levels could change that. Niji selected the Banana one this time, probably because that’s the actual best character for the level.

“The banana matches your hair,” Sanji said.

“Shut up!”

That was true of both Niji and Dengeki Blue, so Niji couldn’t kick him. Rather, he shouldn’t have a reason to, but still tried to kick anyway. Sanji dodged it.

Many minutes into the game later, the conversation topic had turned to future streaming plans, which was mostly answered by Niji.

Someone suggested another cooking talk stream, and this was the only kind of talk stream Sanji had no problems with. One stream session long ago, he’d been dragged onto a talk stream that he’d tried to leave multiple times, until somehow the viewers and Niji conspired to finesse him into talking about cooking. He ended up staying for 3 hours. Aside from the chat being flooded by people whingeing about getting hungry, it otherwise went pretty well.

(The viewers in that session, of all people, happened to include Luffy and Ace, who both came to him demanding to be compensated with real food the first chance they got.)

Another suggested a live cooking stream. That would be a no; not unless there’s some empty kitchen they could borrow or rent. Everyone in the apartment agreed that the livestreams should never show their building. Not even inside Niji’s room.

“Winch Green? Eeh, probably doable soon. No promises on Pink.”

Then the topic turned to guests. There were frequently requests for the other “Germa 66” members to show up. Niji had set up Dengeki Blue as a part of a team to make it easier to cover up slip ups when he accidentally mentioned overly-revealing real life things in his early streaming days. The 4 of them brothers share an apartment, besides. The backstory served as a handy excuse in case of noises of people walking around or talking can be heard through without breaking character. Yonji, especially, can be rather loud.

Getting Reiju to come on the stream was naturally difficult, since she lived with their parents and had full time work, but she was otherwise very agreeable. With Yonji, it’s only a matter of catching him between homework and classes and bribing him with a ton of food.

Ichiji, well…

It was just then that Sanji looked at the chat that he had been ignoring, and noticed that there was a wall of comments about “Sparking Red”, a.k.a Ichiji.

“Why are these people so obsessed with Red anyway?” he asked, “Is it because he’s the only one who’s never been on stream?”

“Oh that…” Niji said distractedly, his fingers hitting keys furiously to execute a combo attack, “I never told ya, huh? Hold on.” He didn’t speak again until after the Banana Battler on the screen mowed down a field of enemies, and “Objective Cleared” flashed on the screen. “Red came in yelling at me once, and everyone heard him. Chat’s gone insane ever since. It’s like those crazes over trying to catch a phantom beast or something.”

That was news. It was one thing to just hear about a character through the lore talks, but Ichiji has actually been heard clearly and not just vague noises through the door.

“How long ago was this?”

“Maybe almost two years ago? Around… around after that time ya crazy weirdos kept saying I was a zombie.”

Ah yes, the Zombie Niji incident—wait a second. Sanji straightened up. Wasn’t that also around the time when…

“Red’ll murder me if I ask him to come on, but eh, figured there’s still ya guys,” Niji babbled on. “The chat love it.”

That was about the time when Niji started pestering him and Yonji to come on the streams. To think that the entire reason for it was Ichiji—Ichiji!!

Sanji fumed. He decided it would be his mission to somehow, by hook or by crook, drag Ichiji on to the stream as well. Damn it all, even if it actually would make Niji and his weird chat group happy, he would still get it done. Ichiji caused it, so he should get to experience it too.

Maybe he’ll get Yonji and Reiju to team up for this mission later.

----

The quadruplets are still in uni/college, and they live in this apartment away from home. Ichiji working at the family company, whatever it is, part time. Reiju already working there full time. Niji is a Vtuber on the side when not in school. Sanji works at Baratie part time. Yonji is just a student full time. Sora still alive. Not sure how Judge would be like TBH, maybe just a normal standoffish dad, but otherwise okay.

I'm so sorry Law, but the meme of him being a Germa nerd is too funny.