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rainrot4me · 5 days ago

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Jeff the Killer General Headcannons

Summary: Basic, SFW, and NSFW head-cannons. My personal thoughts, feelings, and opinions about Jeff as a character.

TW: NSFW below the cut, minors dni! Above the cut is sfw!

Words: 2.6k

Basic:

- Big isolation guy. He enjoys pestering people or hanging out, but when it comes to personal things like missions or killing sprees, he prefers to be alone. His head’s already loud enough that he doesn’t need to add to it when he’s trying to focus.

- Blunt. Like to the point it’s a drag to even talk to him sometimes. He doesn’t really give a shit about anyone or anything besides himself, so why would he need to hide what he actually wants to say?

- Dangerously short temper. It barely takes one nasty remark or even a hint that you have ill intent towards him before the killer is on your ass. Would rather beat the shit out of you than take the time to reconcile.

- A STARER. Has absolutely no remorse when just boring his eyes into someone, eyes wide and horrifying. He loves to watch every expression as he’s ending someone’s life, every bit of anger or fear, but especially the blank stare in their eyes afterward. You catch his glance all the time, and instead of looking away politely like a normal person would, he just smiles as he glares even harder.

- Loves story based video games that Ben shows him. Life is Strange, Night in the Woods, and What Remains of Edith Finch. Has to play them all in their entirety before he can do anything else, so he’ll be glued to the couch for days.

- Has a difficult time with names, so he comes up with nicknames or terms to make it easier. “Twitch” - Toby, “Sockets” - Jack, or “Glitch” - Ben. Don’t worry, he’ll give you one, too.

- A laugher. When he’s in pain, when he’s sad, when he’s happy, that man is laughing. Choked out dry heaving chuckles or tipsy short airheaded giggles, it doesn’t matter, he will be laughing.

- Terrible sleep paralysis and nightmares keep him up during the night, the most sleep this man will ever get is a little over 3 hours. It really doesn’t help his mood, either.

- The scars on his cheeks used to bleed and get infected so bad he could barely shut his mouth due to the swelling. He would numb it down with pain killers and anything he could find, but it wasn’t until Slender tried to make him into a proxy that they eventually sealed and scarred over, creating wide gashes (weird cryptid powers).

- Thinks about his brother every waking moment. He feels so much pent up regret and sadness concerning Liu, but refuses to search for him or even shed a tear. This sends him into mental breakdown episodes, and sadly, the only relief is just to create more carnage.

- Actually really hates violence unless he’s the one delivering it. Doesn’t like violent movies or music because they romanticize everything he hates about himself. Any media he enjoys is either really bland or really toned down, stuff that won’t trigger him.

- Cuts his own hair, and yes, he’s horrible at it.

- Messed up his appearance to make himself ‘beautiful’, but just ended up so disgusted and ashamed of himself in the long run. When his mental fog gets bad, he’ll just stand in front of the mirror and stare at himself, letting every negative thought wash over. Outside, he’ll brandish it like a weapon, something to get victims to submit. But on the inside, it’s just a nasty reminder.

- Showers only when it gets to the uncomfortable point. He doesn’t have the time or energy or wash himself every day, but when it gets to the point he feels the blood and grime subconsciously, he’ll get over it. Even if he does wash himself, half the time actually in the shower is just letting the water run over him and staring at the tile wall.

- Gets all of his money and random trinkets from victims. Proceeds to spend all that money almost immediately after on a pack of Blue Moons. No orange slice, either.

- Messy, disgusting room. Has no healthy habits of keeping him or his space tidy, so it’s always near disastrous.

- Even though the media and lots of outlets perceive him as this insane maniac killer, those were all big stories from his teenage years. Even though he doesn’t feel like he’s matured, he’s definitely found a happy medium away from spree after spree of slaughter. He still itches to take down a whole neighborhood, but he’s found his ways to cope.

- Very good at hand-to-hand combat. He wields a knife if things get a little rough, but prefers to use his hands to do the dirty work. Makes it feel more personal to him.

- Late-night kitchen demon. You’ll find him rummaging the fridge or making a bowl of cereal in the complete darkness, but he’ll swear up and down it wasn’t him.

- Annoying, painfully so. Hell wrack EJ’s ear off or pester Toby about little things, but he can’t help but get giddy when he sees he’s ticked them off just enough.

- Really agile. Had a thinner build, but muscle definition and tension really adds to the aesthetic. Really defined v-line and hips bones, as well as carved out shoulders and collarbones. Looks like a beefier skeleton, but hot.

- Lip piercings. Snake bites. They’re not healed and they’re not pretty, but he thinks they look badass.

- Scars and jagged pieces of flesh everywhere on his body. They’re either from mission aftermaths, rough targets, or his own doing, but they’re all gnarly and barely healed half of the time. They hurt terribly, but he’s constantly cracked out on painkillers that he doesn’t even care anymore.

- Enjoys the shoegaze music genre. Aldn, Wisp, Elita, Deftones, and surprisingly, The Cardigans and The Cranberries. They remind him of his childhood.

Dating Him/SFW:

- “Baby” “Babe” “Cunt”

- Big words of affirmation guy. He’ll act disgusted and shove you off, rolling his eyes about your sweet words- but in reality, he’s gushing so hard he can’t stand it. Reassurance makes him feel more loved than anything.

- The fastest ‘enemies or lovers’ troupe you’ll ever experience. It’ll only take one face-to-face argument before you both get too close and he’s pulling you in for a rough make out. He’s bad with emotions, what makes you think he wouldn't be bad at reading love/hate signals too.

- HATES to show any sign of weakness or adoration. If you’re laying with him or holding his hand, as soon as someone enters the room he’s shoving you off. It’s not that he doesn’t love you, it’s a deep-rooted fear that someone will use you against him.

- If he’s spent the night in your bed, he will always be gone by the time you’ve woken up. Out of fear of vulnerability, he will only fall asleep after you and wake up before you, otherwise he just won’t stay with you at all.

- He’s like dealing with a little kid. Yes, he’s been through heaps of mental anguish and trauma, but he’s gone through all of that without a hand to hold. In some sad way, he sees something motherly and comforting in you which drives him to latch on and become dependent. It's weird, but so is he.

- Jealousy problems. Big time.

- “He touched you. So I cut his arm off. What is so hard to understand here?”

- Needs to be bossed around. He can and will rot in his bed all day unless you tell him to get up and do something.

- Absolutely melts when you kiss him unprovoked. When he doesn’t force you or tease you into one, but when you decide to kiss his face or hands on your own terms. It’s his favorite thing.

- In his manic brain, he wants something calm, someone who can settle him out. You offer him stability and a chance to unwind and that’s really all he needs.

- As a nervous response, he’ll intentionally push you away if he knows you like him. He holds a lot of regret, so he doesn’t want to drag you along with the rest of his baggage. Will say and do things he knows will hurt your feelings so you leave on your own.

- “And what made you think I’d want you? Because we kissed? Hah! How cute.” Meanwhile, he’s in his room pining himself to shreds.

- Watches you sleep constantly. Doesn’t matter where you are or how far, he will trek through your window or into your bed to watch you snore quietly against your pillow. He likes the vulnerability of it and acting as your ‘protector’, like you have no choice but to rely on him in this state.

- You are the last person Jeff wants to break down in front of, but when it eventually happens, and you’re there with open arms- the killer can barely breathe from how full his heart feels. The feeling of just being able to sob and bury into your shoulder while you rub his back is incomparable.

- Possessive AND protective to a fault. Wants everyone to know you’re his, but at the same time, really enjoys when you flaunt yourself so he can stare down the wandering eyes and really show them who they’d be messing with. Either way, eats it up when you feel good about yourself and safe in him.

- Nasty, terribly toxic relationship. You both bounce off of each other and are constantly arguing, but you both get over it because you’ve grown codependent. There’s nothing ‘casual’ about the two of you, you’re either fuck buddies or desperately clawing at each other for survival. Jeff is an obsessive guy, he either wants everything to do with you or he’ll hide away and tear himself apart over you.

- Jewelry is such a yes for him. If you’re wearing thick earrings or chunky necklaces that brighten your face, he eats it up. He’s such a sucker for silver.

- Does not ask for kisses, he takes them.

- “C’mon baby, I can’t help it. You’re just so fun to mess with.”

- Since he doesn’t sleep much, likes to lay on his back while your head rests on his chest/shoulder. He’ll tangle his fingers through your hair or brush your cheek with his thumb while he stares at you or the ceiling. Even when he has doubts about you loving him, your body always subconsciously shifts towards him while you’re snoozing, and it makes him feel just a little better.

- Fake punches/hits you when he’s bored. Will hold his hands up and box at your face but never making contact, just enough to have you side-eye him. He thinks it’s funny.

- Shoulder kisses.

Dating Him/NSFW:

- Can and will touch you inappropriately no matter the circumstances. His rough hands groping your ass or shoving between your thighs to give flirty little touches in front of everyone, his shit-eating grin when you get embarrassed.

- “Stop glaring, sweet cheeks. I know you want me.”

- Will fight to his dying day that he’s a top, but as soon as you even give him a glint of dominance or snap at him, he’s folding so fast. Dominant person, submissive lover.

- Killing machine on the field, pathetic ass bottom in bed. It takes forever to get to that point, but once he’s mentally checked out and half-drooling on the mattress, he’s so pliable and lightheaded he’ll take it with ease. You have to really work for it, but Jeff trusts you/wants it bad enough subconsciously that he’ll force himself to go into a subspace.

- All-time favorite position is laying you out on your back, one leg up on his shoulder while the other is being held down at your side. It really opens you up and gives the nastiest, most lewd noises that have him pussydrunk. Bonus points for reaching a hand in to choke you.

- “And to think you were beggin’ me to stop while your pussy is soaked. I mean, look at you, babe. You’re suckin’ me in somethin’ awful.”

- CHOKING. Either you or him, he gets off on it so bad. Choking you is so satisfying, he loves the resistance and struggle as you gasp for air, face flushed and eyes rolling with his fist around your throat. Meanwhile, if you’re choking him, his body nearly convulses from the pleasure. He loves the lightheadedness and pressure of it, hoarse chuckles as both of your hands grip around his neck and just squeeze. He thinks he could cum just from being strangled.

- “What’s wrong, baby? Lil’ too much? Ah- You’ll get over it, just open up f’me.”

- Hair pulling, strangling, biting, smacking—really anything that’ll cause pain.

- Standing side-by-side in the mirror, his body is littered with nasty cuts and scars while yours is littered with pretty bite marks and hickeys. He loves it.

- Eating you out is so tiring, but it’s all worth it to look up and see your heavy, glassed-over eyes beaming down at him, lips parted as you’re gasping.

- Hard, quick thrusts that have you gasping and yelping. His hips snap against yours rhythmically until you throw your head back, then he leans in close and shifts his knees closer to really speed up. He never has a set pace, but prefers always adjusting to whatever has you making the most noise.

- “C’mon… Louder- Hah- I’m not stoppin’ till you’re cryin’ for it.”

- A bitch fight every time you two get together. Bickering with the other about ‘who can last longer’ or ‘going until you beg for it’ and it irritates the shit out of both of you. Gets you both riled up that you’re more fighting than fucking, but by the end, you’re both dead exhausted and reduced to panting messed laid out on top of each other.

- Refuses to pull out. He can’t get you pregnant, Slender made sure of that (God help if this heathen was allowed to procreate), so it’s either in your cunt, ass, or mouth, nowhere else. Even if he’s jerking himself off, he’ll wait to cum until he can get to you and finish himself out.

- Stands over you and stares hard enough until you’re reduced to your knees, words never even leaving his lips before you’re unbuckling his belt and shifting his jeans down. He’s fought you enough, sometimes you like to just be good for him.

- Pulling him in by his belt >>>>>>>>>

- Eating you out or sucking you off so much that drool leaks from his scars, eyes so hazed and soft as he hums and moans against you.

- “You’d like that, wouldn’t you?”

- Fucked you with the handle of his knife because you read something about it in a book and wanted to see if it actually felt good. He was weirded out at first, but when he watched you jerking your hips and mumbling for him to fuck you, he’s never fucked his cock in faster while rubbing the blunt of the handle against your drooling clit. Same thing with running the blade against your skin. It just elicits some reaction out of you that he can’t understand, but it turns him on terribly.

- Has a big thing for cop x prisoner roleplay actually.

- “What? Officer, how am I supposed to finger you with these handcuffs, hm? I guess you’ll just have to let me go, yeah? Or do you not want it as bad as your pussy leads me to believe?”

- Really loves fingering you while he’s buried in your ass. Curling his fingers up to make you arch your back just a little more, having your head spinning from the overstimulation… yeah.

- A 2-3 round champion. He’ll never be able to just cum once and be satisfied, regardless if you’re ready to stop or not, he’s forcing his cock back into wherever it was or in a completely different hole and riding himself out to his next orgasm. If he’s not shaking and on the verge of passing out after sex, it wasn’t good enough for him.

- “Jeff, stop! We could get caught!” “Or you could just shut up and take your panties off. You’re soaked, there’s no point in fighting me when I’m already this hard… C’mon, baby, give me your hand or something…”

Thanks for reading!

Comments and reblogs are appreciated!

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simplyraeblue · 1 month ago

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Professional (Shouta Aizawa x reader)

!afabreader x aizawa as a teacher, reprimanding wasn't uncommon for you to practice. you being reprimanded? only allowed by Shouta Aizawa. WARNINGS/TAGS: swearing, NSFW, MDNI, p in v, creampie (don't be silly wrap your willy!), somewhat public sex, sex on a desk, going commando (couldn't be me), no pronouns used, use of sweetheart, light bondage (gagged by a tie), punishment kink A/N: art above by ficel_art on instagram! I saw it on pinterest first but immediately deep dove onto their account. dadzawa was just too hot in this art to not immediately write something for him ( ´ཀ` ) word count: 1,930

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you loved being a teacher at U.A. – but some days, it felt like the little future heroes were actually little devils. it was about the third time that little… twat waffle… named Katsuki Bakugo had interrupted your class just today to bully Izuku Midorya. while your mental nickname for him wasn’t very teacherly, the best you could do was to speak to his homeroom teacher.

after lunch had started, you marched your exhausted ass to Shouta’s classroom. someone needed to knock some sense into that kid, and you were very sure it wasn’t going to be you doing the job. if you tried… well, you’d probably lose your job with the words you’d use. and Bakugo could be even worse in return, you were certain of that.

you didn’t bother to knock at the door as you shoved it open to find Shouta sitting at the desk grading a stack of papers. he glanced up at your loud intrusion, an eyebrow arching up when he saw the look on your face, already knowing that you were ready to unload.

“who was it today?” Shouta hummed as he merely returned his focus to the homework in front of him without missing a beat. you slammed your hands on his desk, earning his full attention on you.

“I’m going to try very hard to speak in a professional manner, so listen up because I’m not repeating myself.” you warned him with a glare sharp enough to cut through steel. Shouta raised an eyebrow, hands up in a silent gesture to proceed. “I know you love your students – and don’t try to lie – but you need to reprimand Bakugo more often. he’s disrupted my class every day this week, and I’m seriously considering putting him on probation from participating in the sports festival.”

Shouta slowly stood, moving around the desk as he processed your words, nodding along. “so, you think he should be punished?” he asked, his voice even.

you nodded firmly. “and I’m asking you to help.”

he gave a small, knowing shrug. “and you’re trying to be professional about it?”

“well, I like to think of myself as a professional most of the time.” you chuckled dryly as you shook your head. in the back of your mind, you couldn’t help but wonder if you were getting close to the point where you might use your quirk on the brat a few times… but that would only happen if you were specifically asked to for training purposes.

Shouta had made his way to your side by now, standing a few inches from you as he smirked. when you noticed his expression you raised an eyebrow at him. “I don’t know that I’d call you the most professional of teachers.” he told you as he looked down into your eyes.

“what’s that supposed to mean, Shouta?” you dared to ask, still confused as to where he was going with this. “are you going to give me an exhaustive list of the reasons I’m not professional, because it wouldn’t be the first time you have.”

“no, not an exhaustive list today.” he snickered before his hand drifted to grasp at your hips. you jumped slightly at the contact, sucking in a breath when he ruched the hem of your skirt in his fingers.

he’d been watching you since this morning, the black pencil skirt you wore showing off the plush of your ass as you walked down the hallway to attend to the students. his eyes followed you like magnets wherever you went – and he hadn’t been ignorant enough to miss the tiny little detail he was about to bring to your attention.

before he spoke again, he swiftly lifted you to sit on the edge of his desk, causing you to gasp. when he leaned in, his lips brushing against the shell of your ear, he whispered, “for now, let’s start with the fact that you’re not wearing any panties.”

immediately, a smirk crossed your lips. “ah, so you finally noticed?” you murmured, cheeks heating with his breath on your ear.

“I noticed long ago. I’m assuming this was for me?” he asked as his nose nuzzled your neck, making you groan. “you just couldn’t wait until we were home could you, sweetheart?”

“you’re always so tired when you get home, I just wanted you to know what you had to look forward to.” as you explained, you thought back to getting dressed this morning – you’d quickly thrown on your outfit, neglecting your panties while your husband was in the bathroom. Shouta had been none the wiser when he’d come out, simply giving you a morning kiss before the two of you left for work.

“I don’t know, I kind of want it right now.” you pulled back to study his face, seeing them dark with desire as his hands palmed your ass through your skirt. “we have some time while the students are at lunch, what do you say?”

you were reminded every day of how hot your husband was, and now was no exception. “lock the door.” you instructed him, to which he pushed off of you and secured the door. when he returned, he wasted no time in crashing his lips into yours.

“we should still be quick, sweetheart. don’t want any of the students roaming the hallway to hear us.” Shouta whispered between your lips, taking your lower one into his mouth and sucking harshly on it.

“then you’d better be quiet.” you teased, something that you always learned your lesson for doing later. you felt him smirk into the next kiss he gave you as he pushed your skirt up to your waist, cold air hitting your wetting pussy.

he knew how to be fast, and quiet. it was something Shouta learned very quickly within his line of work – but you’d figured out how to make that increasingly more difficult for him to put into practice. your hands all but ripped his belt off before shoving his pants and boxers down, revealing his cock standing at attention.

god, he’d thought about using his lunch time to find a secluded place and jerk off to the thought of you. after noticing your lack of underwear this morning, it was all he could think about, repeatedly having to clear his mind while working. but this was even better, he thought.

you watched in awe as Shouta pulled his tie off, and just as you wondered if he would throw it to the side, he instead pushed the fabric between your teeth and swiftly tied it behind your head. “now, you have to be the one to be quiet.” Shouta taunted as he placed a light kiss on your gagged mouth.

while he lined his tip with your seeping hole, you whimpered against the fabric muffling your words. Shouta was painstakingly slow in pushing inside of you, your walls stretching to accommodate his immense girth as you moaned at the feeling of his veiny cock molding your walls.

when he finally bottomed out, he let out a low groan of pleasure before placing a hand on your chest and pushing you back to lay flat on the desk. “I’m beginning to think your lack of professional is what needs to be punished.” Shouta teased as he leisurely rolled his hips into yours causing your eyes to roll back. “but I guess I’ll have to save your true penalty for tonight, since we need to be quick.”

you nodded fervently as he began to slam into you, the desk creaking beneath you with every bullying thrust. “please.” your beg came out muffled, but enough for him to understand.

Shouta’s lips covered yours to add an extra layer of quieting your noises, his dick now repeatedly slamming into your walls with a fierce pace. he pulled away for a moment to spit onto your clit before his fingers began to work the sensitive nub. “don’t worry, sweetheart. tonight, you’re going to get a good punishment that I think you and I both will enjoy.” you whimpered at the thought, already knowing your ass would be bruised and sore come tomorrow morning.

“fuck I’ll never – mph – get sick of – hah – this pussy.” Shouta bit out with each smack of his hips into your ass, the noises the two of you were creating become filthier every second. as he brutally circled your clit, pinching it between his fingers, you moaned into the now wet fabric between your teeth. he always had been an expert at getting you close with almost no effort, and you could already feel the knot coiling in your stomach. “so perfect for me sweetheart. such a perfect wife.”

he was a little sad that he needed to be fast, wanting to savor every bit of you, but after looking at the clock Shouta realized that time was almost up. “gonna need you to – hmph – come on my cock now, sweetheart. need you to come before I fill you up.”

with his demand, he slapped a hand down onto your clit harshly, making your back arch off the desk in response. “Shouta!” your husband’s name barely passed your lips before he smacked your clit again, caressing it between each contact until you were coming undone beneath him. “m’ coming!”

Shouta swore under his breath as he watched your body convulse below, your pretty eyes rolling back just as your slick walls clenched around his cock. if he had more time, he’d keep going until you couldn’t walk for a week – but he’d just have to save it for tonight. for now, he allowed his release to barrel over him alongside yours.

his head fell down between your covered tits, the fabric of your shirt doing nothing to hide them as he muffled his own whines of pleasure before he was shooting ropes of cum inside you. he’d buried himself to the hilt to make sure you got every last drop, praying it was deep enough to ensure it stayed trapped inside of you for the rest of the day.

with perfect timing, he started to come down from the high just as the bell rang, echoing in your now almost deaf ears. Shouta slowly pulled out, hissing at the loss of warmth against his cock, before quickly pulling his tie from your lips. he used it to clean himself up before kneeling down to wipe away any mess he’d left between your thighs.

“maybe I should’ve brought a backup pair of panties.” you groaned as you slowly sat up. “now I’m going to have to worry that our unborn children are going to leak down my thighs the rest of the day.”

“you wicked woman, that foul mouth of yours is going to get you in trouble one day.” Shouta smirked as he kissed you softly. you watched as he walked back around his desk and opened a drawer, before he pulled out a pair of your panties. “it’s a good thing I noticed before we left the house and brought these just in case.”

your jaw dropped out as you snatched them from him. “you knew! and you let me think I’d seduced you.” a pout formed on your lips before you slipped the underwear on, praying it was enough to prevent any embarrassment.

Shouta only caressed your head, his lips meeting yours again. “you seduce me without even trying, sweetheart.” you grinned at the words until his hand gently wrapped around your throat. “but don’t forget, you’re still getting reprimanded later.”

you’d never been so excited to get punished.

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Link to Kirishima x reader here (word count: 902)

Link to Shoto x reader pt. 1 here (word count: 1,800)

Link to Kaminari x reader pt.1 here (word count: 2,680)

Link to Bakugo x reader here (word count: 2,328)

Link to Hawks x reader here (word count: 1,903)

#mha fanfiction #bhna fanfiction #my hero academia #mha smut #bhna x reader #mha x y/n #mha x you #mha x reader #shouta aizawa #aizawa shouta #mha aizawa #aizawa x reader #bnha aizawa #aizawa shōta #shouta x reader #shouta aizawa smut #aizawa smut #eraserhead #eraserhead x reader

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sunderwight · 11 months ago

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Liushen AU where SY transmigrates into SJ's older brother, and subsequently nopes them right out of the slavery backstory by using his general knowledge of the story and actually being an adult in a kid's body to just leave (basically) with SJ and YQ.

SY carts them both up to Cang Qiong for the next sect trials. It's actually not all that hard, the trickiest part is getting enough to eat and finding safe places to sleep between leaving the slavers and taking the trials (SY manages just barely, with considerable help from his new little brothers.) Nobody bothers to go after them because it's before Qiu Jianluo and this style of human traffickers mostly operate by virtue of their merchandise having nowhere else to go. Chasing down runaways is an expense not worth indulging, given that most of them either come straight back or die of exposure.

Anyway, they take the trials, and as expected YQY gets chosen to become a personal disciple for the sect leader, and SJ gets chosen by the Qing Jing Peak Lord, but also as (kind of) expected (by SY alone) nobody wants SY. He's older the Yue Qi, so too old, and unlike YQ and SJ his cultivation potential isn't striking enough to make any exceptions for him.

SY, however, can't leave it at that. He's spent more than five minutes with the street kid codependency gang, so he's gotten attached to both of them. And he knows what will happen if they're left to their own devices and The Plot proceeds accordingly. (Also, they keep threatening to not stay at the sect if SY doesn't stay too, for some reason.) So with a heavy heart and internal candle lit for himself, SY heads to Bai Zhan Peak. Which is the only peak that accepts disciples by way of them turning up and refusing to leave.

SY's not much of a fighter. He actually really hates the atmosphere on BZP, he's not bad at physical cultivation (his health's pretty good in this life, ironic considering how much worse his situation was) but the random ambushes and survival-of-the-fittest stuff is just not his brand. But that's okay, because it turns out that BZP actually DESPERATELY needs disciples on the actual peak who are interested in things other than fighting and cultivating their own strength. Stuff like, filling out requisition requests for An Ding every time things break, apologizing to An Ding every time things break again, organizing schedules, browbeating senior disciples into actually teaching, educating disciples on virtually any artistic or social skill, hosting lectures on how to beat vicious beasts without just overpowering them, and etc.

Okay so some of this stuff isn't and has never actually been on Bai Zhan's curriculum but Shen Yuan is going to make this place tolerable. And stop these children from needlessly getting acid burns or lyme disease or scurvy or whatever. He keeps internally chewing out Airplane for designing a sect system that means there are a lot of largely unsupervised 12-year-olds running around the wilderness on a mountain picking fights all the time. (When he actually meets Shang Qinghua and figures him out he switches to doing it in person, of course, in twice-monthly bitching sessions that look a lot like budding friendship.)

Of course one of the worst offenders is the Liu kid, who SY would suspect was actually raised by wolves if he didn't know for a fact that Liu Qingge has a younger sister, and also the kinds of nice clothing and letters from home that strongly imply not only does he have a family, but that the family is pretty well-off. Liu Qingge is at first deeply offended by SY being a BZP disciple. He rarely fights anyone, and uses tricks and evasion tactics whenever a fight can't be avoided. And he does other annoying stuff, like pestering him about meals and baths and lecturing him on identifying dangerous plants and the early signs of qi deviation. This is not what their peak is about! He should get with the program already! Just fight stuff until you're too tired to keep fighting stuff!

Also SY's younger brother, SJ, is pure evil (at least according to baby Liu Qingge) even though his other younger brother (?) is cool and nice.

Anyway, Liu Qingge stops complaining about SY after their first mission together, where Liu Qingge doesn't lose a fight but does get into a kind of pyrrhic victory situation where he's really badly hurt, and it's SY who helps him win (correctly identifying the monster and then pointing out its weakness) and takes care of him afterwards and gets him safely back to Cang Qiong. SY expresses surprise at LQG actually being polite to him, and LQG realizes that he's been a colossal ass if people think he wouldn't be grateful to someone who saved his life, so the usual Liushen dynamic proceeds from there. Liu Qingge starts bringing SY fans he leaves behind and hunts down animals that are supposed to be useful for bolstering weak cultivation, SY invites LQG to tea and keeps the critters as pets, etc etc.

SY doesn't get the Head Disciple position, because that's only acquired via beating the current peak lord in combat and lol no. Also he's not interested in stealing it from Liu Qingge, to whom it rightfully belongs (in his mind). But that's fine, because Liu Qingge takes the position when the next generation ascends and then he lets SY exclusively handle all the peak duties SY actually likes (mainly teaching). It's perfect -- Liu Qingge gets to focus on his War God antics and occasional administration/meetings without having to deal with students his has no patience for, but the disciples of BZP don't get neglected because SY is actually teaching and organizing classes and student care. BZP hasn't enjoyed a golden age like this since it was founded!

Things are pretty good overall, but Shen Yuan knows that it's only a matter of time before The Plot shows up, and so he can't rest completely easily.

Meanwhile, the will-they-or-won't-they bets on Liushen have been going strong for a while now. The thing is, most of their martial siblings are convinced that these two are already "together", and just being circumspect about it. Those who know SY well (like SJ, YQY, and SQH) know better but think that SY's romantic obtuseness is to blame, whereas those who know LQG well (LMY, WQW, and MQF) are pretty sure that it's actually LQG's obtuseness that's the problem. Of course it's actually both of them, so efforts to "fix" matters by getting through one of their thick skulls inevitably run afoul of the other's.

An additional complication is of course: SJ doesn't like LQG (mutual), and now that he's the leader of his own peak, he wants to poach SY to come and live there. Not only so he can have one of the 2 people he trusts actually close at hand, but also because SJ also hates actually teaching the atrocious little brats on his peak, and would like to have SY come and do it for him. YQY is still a total pushover for him too, and is also now the sect leader, so YQY agrees that SY can change peaks if SY and LQG both agree to it.

Liu Qingge, of course, is a no, but he's a variable "no". He's not going to hold Shen Yuan against his will or anything.

As for Shen Yuan, it's... complicated. He doesn't really like BZP, but it's gotten a lot better than it was at the start. These days he's actually pretty proud of his accomplishments, and it's more comfortable, but it's still a rough and rowdy place with fewer creature comforts, libraries, or other appealing points than QJP. Also, if he goes to Qing Jing to teach, he can personally ensure that SJ doesn't go around persecuting any of his students!

But... SJ never lived with the Qiu family in this AU, and even though SY's not totally clear on what the PIDW backstory for SJ was, he knows he's a better guy now than the scum villain in the book was. He has a reputation for making cutting remarks, not for being an abusive snake or a lecher. SY's honestly less worried about him doing anything bad at all, and there are other people on QJP who can teach. It might even be good for SJ to promote more people to fill out a social circle he can rely on! That guy needs more friends, seriously.

And QJP really doesn't need more layabout literary intellectual types who get into pointless arguments, which is all SY would be if he went there. Just yet another nerdy scholar for the rich kids with middling cultivation that the peak favors to ignore. At least on BZP he's filling a gap.

SY is clearly torn, and the fact that SY's considering it has LQG upset, and LQG doesn't handle being upset very well, so of course they have an argument about it. SY storms off to cool his head and LQG is like, this is it, he's gone to Qing Jing Peak, I've drive him off by being too aggressive and he's probably remembering all those times I told him he didn't belong here and oh no what have I done maybe if I build him a heated bath and get him books he will come back???

Turns out that SY just went to An Ding to vent at SQH while SQH was like "I think you would have fewer problems if you and Liu Qingge just got married and my disciples could call you Shigu to your face instead of behind your back" and SY threw melon seeds at him and sulked on his fainting couch (which is always cold for some reason...)

Thus begins the Liushen Divorce Arc where SY tries to be anywhere but BZP or QJP, Liu Qingge tries to figure out what thing he can punch to fix this not-punchable problem, SJ is like "I don't see what the big deal is they should break up Liu Qingge is awful and I want my brother to teach my classes for me" like the spoiled youngest sibling he's finally allowed to be, YQY is trying to moderate this Hades vs Demeter situation and is all "well maybe SY could spend half the year on QJP and half on BZP?", and Liu Mingyan is going "I know my brother if this doesn't work out he is going to die single and pining like an idiot" and so keeps conscripting other disciples to y'know, lock SY and LQG into storage closets together (ineffective: LQG can punch through walls) or at least get them in the same room (underestimating SY's willingness to yeet himself out of windows to avoid awkward social interactions.)

By the time Luo Binghe joins the sect (as a Qiong Ding disciple), the drama is in full swing and is the main topic of gossip across most of the peaks.

#svsss #scum villain's self saving system #liushen #long post #sy doesn't even realize lbh has already arrived until someone mentions 'luo-shidi' on qiong ding in passing #he nearly has a heart attack #why isn't this kid on qing jing peak?!#(why would he be on QJP now though? SJ's not gonna want him not even to pathologically torment and he's promising enough for QDP)#SY: well I guess... that settles that? not enough reason to move to QJP if luo binghe isn't even there. everything can stop being weird now #LQG: then we shall have a spring wedding #I like to think the changes to the world are so substantial that the setting just shifts to a less angsty action/adventure story #now the cang qiong crowd are the colorful side characters instead of complicit in lbh's many torments

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mamashenanigans · 1 year ago

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When my head isn’t filled with “keephishandkeephishandkeephishand” on a loop, I actually think about more stuff from 407.

Someone on X pointed this out, but how wittle baby boy Yoichi is shown here…

Makes it seem like the people that AFO just killed had maybe beat him up. Of course, AFO is taking their metapowers away too, but it’s an interesting catch. And, yes, Yoichi is wearing fitted clothes while AFO walks around with something just wrapped around him.

You know how Yoichi still believed there was good in his brother because of the kindness of his “hand”?

Well, in case you missed it…

They were born apart with their hands already reaching out to each other. They are on their backs right now, so those are the same hands that are holding/being held.

This means…

AFO grabbed Yoichi and dragged him with him. What you’re seeing in that top panel is the water starting to overflow the river and rush past. AFO pulled Yoichi out of the water and on to their mother. He is also using the spike quirk for teeth and on his hand to grab onto their mother and pull them up. The bottom left panel is him biting into her dress as he pulls them out of the danger of the water. Yes, AFO saved Yoichi when they were fucking newborns. THIS is what Yoichi has a faint memory of. That was the kindness.

I know some people have been wondering if they’re fraternal or identical. This seems to suggest that they are in fact sharing the same umbilical cord. It’s rare for fraternal twins to have this. It’s crazy to think that Yoichi may have looked just like AFO if he had the same amount of nutrients. But I digress…

A very notable thing about AFO’s eyes: they are huge and creepy in feral/survivor mode. We’ve seen his eyes get like this as AFOTomura and when he goes into rage mode against All Might and now Bakugo.

Here, he is quite literally just walking down the street past the anti-meta people and presumably just heard them talk about killing metas. Once they take notice of him, he turns his head towards them and his eyes are huge like a startled animal.

He then proceeds to kill them and still has that feral look.

But now let me get to something pretty important…

We don’t see AFO actually smile until this panel

Once he has a dream of everyone living for his sake, like Yoichi, he is finally smiling. And continues to do so after this point.

Something really bothering me is that they must have named themselves including their surname. Shigaraki means “death tree” which fits in nicely as they were born “from death”. However, where did Yoichi get his name? AFO must have named him and Yoichi can mean “first gift”. So he named him that because Yoichi was QUITE LITERALLY the first thing AFO ever had. As for AFO…I don’t know if he would take the time to name himself. Yoichi only calls him big brother so he may have told Yoichi to just keep calling him that then decided to name himself after the Quirk he also named himself: All for One. Dude is really committed to the bit.

There’s one more thing I haven’t seen anyone touch on yet…

The hatred.

As you probably recall, Hawks has a talk with Best Jeanist over AFO’s lack of emotions and lack of hate. Why he has to use Tomura to get OFA.

406 explained why that is perfectly.

When he feels hatred, he is forced to remember WHEN HE WAS TOLD HE KILLED HIS BROTHER HOLY SHIT. It would also be possibly the first and only time he ever cried. Felt real grief. So, he never “feels” REAL hatred because that would mean having to confront this memory.

It’s fucking genius.

You’’re welcome.

#all for one #afo #my hero academia #yoichi shigaraki #boku no hero academia #bnha afo #bnha yoichi #bnha spoilers #mha407 #bnha

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visual-freak · 4 months ago

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Saiki Kusuo Headcanons

Note: doing this because I need a way to let these thoughts out of my head

- he’s definitely the type to eat & drink your own food the second you turn your head away and will pretend as if your piece of cake missing a bite wasn’t his doing

- he’ll buy you a new one don’t worry (and proceed to take a bite out of that one too) (yall he literally drank teruhashis smoothie while invisible simply because😭)

- DO NOOOOOT try to engage in PDA with him. He will find and try every way to avoid it at any cost. It creates to much attention towards him.

- he’ll make up to you later in private

- the type to teleport to your room at random times when he “needs your help” with something

- he wanted an excuse to be around you, though if you try and say that to him he’ll leave to try and prove a point. (He’s gonna come back eventually)

- He will stalk you

- this is canon, and if you say otherwise..you’re lying

- he literally stalks his friends all the time in the series to make sure they’re okay. Though he claims it’s because if he doesn’t then it’ll inconvenience him in some way

- but yeah, you’re not at school one day? Using clairvoyance to figure out where you at

- decide to take a walk alone at night for some reason? He’s using invisibility and is lowkey right behind you

- He practically has your entire routine memorized to the beat

-How’d he know you love coming to this corner store afterschool to get this specific snack? Lucky guess🤷🏾‍♀️

- He was most definitely not the one to confess

- how you got him to actually commit to being with you is beyond my abilities as a writer ✋🏾😔

-but he is extremely loyal

-buddy does not play about his partner

- teruhashi? Now he’s definitely working overtime to get her to get OVER him, avoiding her like the black plague

- might even use his annoyed face (jkjk he knows that her minions might actually murder him somehow someway)

- it’s going to take him a LOONG time for him to tell you about his powers.

- like he would need to trust you A TON

-but when you do find out and you’re cool with it, it’s definitely a lot of weight off his shoulders

- someone he can actually talk to about his problems openly

- speaking of his powers he’s not letting kusuke ANYWHERE NEAR YOU

-ABSOLUTELY NOT

- his brother as shown in the series will use anything and ANYONE to get to kusuo just so he can beat him at SOMETHING

-God forbid his brother tries bringing you into his sadistic little game of his, who knows what kusuo will do

- also his parents adore you. Especially his mother

- she invite you over a lot, whether it’s for tea, cooking lessons or a special event

- his grandparents are waiting for your wedding (to kusuo’s displeasure, he’s sick of hearing them saying that)

-there’s been multiple times kusuo will simply just drag you to his room for some privacy or just go somewhere outside the house.

- but that would usually mean bumping into your others nuisances friends.

- which he will ever so slightly lean into your side as a way of telling you he wants to leave

- ok my brain has stopped functioning. Good night and enjoy!

#saiki k #saiki k x reader #kusuo saiki #saiki no psi nan #saiki kusuo #kusuo saiki x reader #kusuo x reader

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2tcs · 4 months ago

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I love your content so far from what I read and I had a crack I did just hit me

After a while the bat family finally decides to get rid of Ra al Ghul like take him down and take his position from him as the leader of the League of assassins to dismantle it

Ra al Ghul never warned anyone if they want to actually become like the main watcher over the Lazarus pits but they have to go to a 2000 door haunted house run by the ghost King who is 15 years old

So I'll be entire bat family is practically being put through spooky's haunted house 1000 doors except it's Phantom haunted house 2000 doors

Danny believes that anyone that wants the Lazarus pits is undirectly like a bad person so he kind of uses it to a trauma dump on people and be mentally tortured these people so they drop out of taking it

He's getting help from Ghost like Ember Techn, Poindexter, Wulf even cujo

Like they put Ra al Ghul through hell and now they're going to put the bat family to that because they have no idea or not if they're good people

So it's just Danny traumatizing them by making with the horrors and some of the deaths of the ghost the last shocker is at the last door they have to relive Danny's death then Danny will come out and hand them a key and then proceed to give them the whole feel about being the new owners of Lazarus pits

I just enjoy the idea of Danny and the ghost being terrifying

I don't think Danny knows enough ghosts to pull off 2000 doors but he does know Ghost Writer. As well as several ghosts who could make them relive each other's worst/most traumatic moments. Ras probably went alone when he did his trial. But if the whole batfam is going in? So much ammo.

It could start out simple. Lure them into a sense of ease.

---

"Huh. When the scary voice said we would be facing trials to prove our worth. I didn't expect sentient, cuddly blobs." Duke said petting one of the blobs that was chirping happily. Not noticing as his fellow vigilantes and friends also began to cuddle the blobs.

It takes them three hours before they realize that they've lost time and begin to fight the calming effect that the blobs exude and head towards the door on the other side of the room.

---

And maybe embarrassing.

---

"Once upon a time."

"WHY THE FUCK AM I WEARING TIGHTS!"

"I don't know. I think they look good."

"Shut up dickface."

---

Even a bit annoying at times.

---

"I AM THE BOX GHOST!"

"WTF! This guy is more annoying than Condiment King!"

"At least he isn't dumping ketchup on us!"

---

The first few hundred doors could even be called easy for people like the bats.

---

"Quit hitting yourself. Quit hitting yourself." Jason said after he ripped off the robot's arm and started to use it to beat the robot.

"Hay. Don't you think you're going too far Hood?"

"Stop your incelence! For I. Skulker. The greatest hunter ever. Shall be the one to skin you alive and use your pelts as a rug in my den!"

"You were saying Dickolase?"

"Give me the other arm. I want to break this pinata open."

---

But that ease does not last long. Soon they are faced with the suffering of others.

---

"What was that. What was that!" Steph shouted as she clung to Tim. Trembling from the adrenalin rush.

"I think. I think we just died? In a motorcycle crash? Did we just get hit by a CAR while on a MOTORCYCLE?!"

"That motorcycle crash was quick compared to how I died! So shut the fuck up!" Jason yelled before stomping toward the next door. And if his hand was shaking as he reached for the doorknob? No, they weren't

---

And even faced with the consequences of their failures. Failures that nearly tore them apart. Failures that could still tear them apart.

---

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I didn't know."

"Shut up old man! You never asked! You weren't there! You're Never There!"

---

And temptations.

---

Dick looked around as his family piled into the living room of the manor. Everyone was laughing at something Duke said. Jason laughed the loudest as he slung his arm over Tim's shoulder for support. (Wrong, this is wrong, why is this wrong?)

---

And nightmares.

---

"Give them back! GIVE THEM BACK!" Bruce screamed to the sky as he clutched his kids as close to him as he could. Falling into despair as their bodies, their corpses, grew colder. The echos of their own cries of pain and anguish ringing in his ears.

---

They still manage to fight through the physical and psychological horror. Even when they are pushed to experience torture that not even their most vial villain would do to them.

---

"I'm alive! I'm me! Mom! Dad! Please! Please!" "Shut up you freak! Honey, get the muzzle. I don't want to hear its lies anymore." The woman, the monster, in the teal hazmat suit said as she pulled out their intestine and hung it on a rack for further examination.

---

They persevered. And when they leave the last door behind? And are faced with a young boy, no older than 14, who looks like an amalgamation of all of the Robins when they were that age?

---

Danny watched as the would-be-owner of the Lazarus Pits stumbled through the door. Only for an entire group of Kevlar waring fruitloops to fall out of the door.

"So you are the fools who think to control the blood of King Lazarus. So far you have seen many facets of the horrors that can come from..." Danny started his monologue before he was interrupted by the one wearing a cloak reminiscent of a bat falling to his knees.

"Please. Please say we don't have to fight you. I can't. I can't." He said before breaking down in tears as several others joined him in his cry fest.

"Shit." Danny said as he looked at the people before him. Panicking over what he was supposed to do.

#dpxdc #dc x dp #dc x dp crossover #dp x dc crossover #danny phantom #batfamily #phycological horror #The ghosts may have gone a little overboard #Just a little bit #Hay Jazz?#Don't get mad okay?#But I think I broke them

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weirdmarioenemies · 7 months ago

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Name: Spamley

Debut: Ralph Breaks the Internet

Hey, remember the Ralph Breaks the Internet craze of 2018? What a time to be alive! Disney's film about What If The eBay Was A Place was an instant hit, due to the fact that everyone knows the Internet, and everyone wants to see a movie about it! You couldn't stop hearing about it! No wonder it won the Academy Award for best animated film! I think it beat out some movie about spiders, or something...?

Kids today might not remember, because 2018 was so long ago. They're too obsessed with their new age sexymen, like Raymond and the big balls Dwarf. But this movie wouldnt've been the cultural phenomenon it was without one character taking the world by storm: a certain J.P. Spamley!

The Internet fell in love with Spamley at first sight, flooding social media with memes and fan art about the loveable green prick. He rose to the highest ranks of the Tumblr Sex Man for a good while! You couldn't scroll for a few minutes without seeing his catchphrase, "Now's your chance to get rich playing video games!"

What kind of a megacorporation would Gisnep be if it didn't capitalize on Spamley's popularity? So they held a special Spamley Sweepstakes event on November 2019, allowing fans to donate money in honor of Spankley himself! All proceeds would go to Bob Iger and Baby Yoda, and if that's not wholesome, I don't know what is. Those who entered even had a chance of winning WILD prizes, like:

That's it that was the only prize

See him in theatres! This is what Disney told us all to do, and we listened! Little did we know they were doing this to hide a dark secret! If you buy the Blu-ray version of the movie, you can actually manipulate the Scene Select to watch the movie out of order and make some... strange things happen. You can look up a walkthrough online, but the gist of it is making Vanelope kill all the Disney Princesses. Especially Merida. And when you do, you unlock a weird alternate ending...

Spamley NEO is the secret true main antagonist of the film, and he wants to take over Oh My Disney to spread spam and advertisements! No! Not Oh My Disney! Please, for the love of God, NOT OH MY DISNEY!! You have to kill him. You have to destroy your Blu-ray copy of Ralph Breaks the Internet now. I hope you're proud of yourself.

#spamley #ralph breaks the internet #wreck it ralph #oh my disney #mod f boy #unreality #april fools

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acotarxreader · 6 months ago

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Pancake

Azriel x Reader

Synopsis: Celebrating Feyre's 21st with a large party at the House of Wind proves to be quite triggering for you as you battle with the demons that followed you out of Under the Mountain.

Warnings: Panic attack (claustrophobia) followed by super fluff

A/N: This is really a cute fic, maybe one of my favourites. Reader has a panic attack so proceed with caution or don't at all if you think this may upset you! Let me know what you think!

P.S laughing that after Jilted I said I'd give you a more silly goofy fic and then produce this 👀 next one I promise!👀

------------------------------------------------

Fifty years. Fifty years you and Rhysand were separated from your family. Days dripping into weeks, into months, into years. Birthdays, Starfalls, and Solstices lost to the mountain. You had both been reunited with your family for a year now, your first Winter Solstice as a family again. You stood on the balcony watching your friends dance and drink and be free, Rhysand having thrown a large party for Feyre's 21st birthday. A genuine smile grew at the sight of such joy, all on their way to becoming whole again. Your eyes found Feyre and Rhysand drifting up the stairs towards a secluded balcony, your smile doubling in size at the mischievous grin plastering your cousin's face.

“Don’t you look radiate YN” You turned to look down at Azriel at the bottom of the grand staircase.

“Don’t I always Az” he nodded in agreement, closing in the distance between you, you had missed him deeply, never thinking you’d have the pleasure of dancing with your best friend again. Azriel had spent your time away from him in utter torment, echoed in his friend's mutual feelings of uselessness at the loss of the two of you.

“Azriel, there you are! Come watch the surprise with me, fireworks I believe” Elains little voice came from behind Azriel, he turned happily towards her, a pang of jealousy beating through you. Before the Mountain took you from your family you and Azriel were quickly developing into more but something cracked in you, you couldn’t find your way back to him when you were freed. He gave you the space you needed to recover and in that time found a new obsession in Elain and you accepted that you may never be fixed but Elain could be.

“Would you like to come too YN?” you sensed the undertone of pity from Elain that Azriel would never see as anything other than her caring. You tried to keep the smile on your face, faltering for a moment before returning to full strength.

“I’m actually going to get a drink from inside, but go ahead” You looked up at the night sky, such beauty you missed so much, Azriel looked at you with the same sentiment before following Elain back down the steps.

You entered the House Of Wind through the gigantic doors, caterers frantically ran from place to place holding various trays and jugs. You ducked and dove avoiding the chaos, no one noticed you as you moved through the mayhem, your speciality. You took a flute of champagne from a passing tray before catching a glimpse of your face in a large silver serving dish. You looked tired, still not yourself a year later.

You headed into the closest bathroom in a service hallway, gently pining up fallen strands of hair. You sighed into the mirror of the small room, feeling the mask slip for a moment before you righted it again, forcing the fake smile so as not to make others uncomfortable.

Your hand moved to the door handle, shaking it gently when you found it did not give under your touch. You pushed the door, it solidly pushing back. You tried to squash the rising panic in your throat, this is fine this is fine this is fine you repeated over and over like a mantra in your mind.

You lowered yourself to look out the keyhole to find solid wood staring back at you. They had blocked you in with a large, solid, service trolley, wider than the door you tried to push through. You banged on the door with your palms, calling out for anyone, the shouts getting lost in the bedlam of the service hallway before it emptied entirely, the staff going to watch the show.

You backed away from the oak, trying to catch your fleeting breath. Trapped. Trapped. Trapped. The word roaring in your head, dizzying dread coming to a boiling point in you. Trapped. Trapped. Trapped.

Suddenly a loud bang was set off, and another and another. You found yourself collapsing to the freezing floor of the forgotten bathroom, screaming to match the pitch of the fireworks outside. You clung your knees into your chest before beginning to frantically paw your ears trying to stop the drumming. Your fingers matting into your hair, making it a knot in the chaos of trying to block the sound. You were hyperventilating as the fireworks came on with more fierceness. You were drowning. You were back Under The Mountain. You were back to being out of control. Back to being being kept deep within the earth, the sound of Fae being tortured mimicked in the booming fireworks.

“YN!” through the thick choking energy of your fear, a familiar voice came like a lifeboat in a storm but you were gone to the sea. Gone to the panic. Drowning. Drowning. Drowning. Steady, scared hands reached for your tangled hands pulling them from clawing your ears, out of blurry vision you saw the opened door, the towering service trolley smashed to the ground as Azriel clung to your hands. You tried to dive for the gap, off balance from the panic, unable to lift yourself from your seat, you fell onto your side on the tile, the thud of your chin echoing in Azriels ears.

“YN! You’re okay you’re okay!” he pulled you upright and rubbed the back of your hands as your tormented eyes found him through the floods of tears. He counted quietly in rhythm, helping you to steady your breathing but the flashbacks of that horrid place and great loss ran through your mind like a runaway train. This was Azriel. Azriel. Azriel. This was home. Home. You were home. Another booming firework was set off, plunging you back to being drowned. Azriel stood, plucking you from the ground like a discarded rag doll before he dissolved you both in shadows.

The two of you landed with control on the bridge that crossed the Sidra. The sound of the fireworks merely bursts in the distance. Your hands lay flat on the cold stone of the bridge and then you were violently ill, vomiting into the rushing river below as Azriel rubbed your back with one hand and held your hair gently in the other. You then sailed to the ground, your back resting against the freezing stone, waves of panic replaced with equal volumes of exhaustion. Silence swaddled you like comfort, shadows softly sweeping away stray tears as they fell. You found a small smile tug at the corners of your mouth at them, Azriel’s muscles relaxing at the sight.

“Thank you Az” you managed to breathe out.

“Please don’t thank me, it's my job to-to protect you” You rolled your head along the stone to look towards the shadowsingers soft gaze. You leaned into his side, gazing up to your beloved Velarian sky, your heart rate returning to softening levels.

“YN ho-how often does that happen you?”

“More than I want to admit Az, I feel like I haven’t slept in 50 years” you admitted, his hand wrapping into yours.

“Go back to the party Az, Elain will be wondering where you ran to”

“You’re crazy if you think I’m leaving you, c’mon let's walk home” he smiled, standing and pulling you up to meet him, his hand slotting in around your waist to support your weakened legs. You both began to stroll in the direction of Azriel’s disused apartment, more often than not he opted to stay in The House of Wind or the Town House rather than sleep alone in his house. But tonight, those places were in the thick of the loud celebration, his secluded apartment on the other side of the Sidra a haven from the revelry. You didn’t object to this knowing you hadn’t it in you to go back into the bustling city.

You followed Azriel into his small studio apartment, and he immediately set about cleaning the space you hadn’t been in in 51 years.

“Sorry for the mess” He threw stray clothes into a basket as you looked around the place you didn’t think you’d ever see again, the mess of forgotten projects and clothes a new feature for the normally regimented Illyrian.

“I umm didn’t come here much when you were-when you were gone” he admitted before flicking his wrist and the sheets of the bed changed.

“Why not? You used to love to brood up here” you grinned, sitting on the edge of the soft cotton sheets. Azriel threw his suit jacket over a chair and began rolling his shirt sleeves up, without taking his eyes from you, his own smile matching yours. You suddenly felt conscious of the mess of now matted hair and make-up down your face, your hand wiping the smudges of kohl away from under your eye.

“To be honest YNN, it felt wrong here without you, the whole of Velaris did” he crossed the room to the dresser, reaching into the top drawer to pull out one of your night sets.

“I can’t believe you still have some of my things here”

“I kept them for when you would come back…I never let myself think that you weren’t coming back to me” You took the set from him, smiling softly before moving to change in the bathroom, leaving the door open as Azriel threw a pillow for himself on the couch, snapping his fingers and changing into his own night attire. He tried not to let his eyes linger on you as you moved towards his bed for the first time in forever before you layed down in the buttery sheets.

“Az-Can you-Can you sleep here next to me, I know it might be weir-” You didn’t get to finish as Azriel needed no further invitation, sinking into the bed alongside you. He merely snapped his fingers and the lights dropped only to have one in the corner of the room stayed lit for your comfort.

“Are you feeling okay YNN?”

“Mmm, thanks for leaving the light on” you hummed in response.

"It's for me as much as you, I share you're sentiment about being kept in the dark" you nuzzled gently into his side at his heartbreaking words and for the first time in so long you knew you’d sleep with nothing but ease.

“I missed you so much my love” He whispered into your hair, sleep taking full hold of you as he kissed your forehead and found yourselves sleeping the best he had in 51 years.

For the rest of the night you both stayed in cuddled bliss, the world going on around you but the only place that mattered was the world you had both made in his apartment.

The light came through the slots of the blinds hitting his eyes as he woke and rested his chin on the top of your head as you were deeply cuddled into him, the clock showing 8:30am. He gently pulled from you as you groaned but still unable to open you’re world-weary eyes.

You shot up in the bed to the sound of a crash, for a moment forgetting where you were only to laugh at the recoiling Illyrian holding a frying pan while wincing in the kitchen across from you, his wings coated in a thin layer of flour.

“What the fuck Az?” you found yourself laughing before rubbing your hands down your face and glancing at the clock as it showed 10am.

“Don’t laugh at me, I’m trying to be be cute!” You raised an eyebrow, throwing your legs over the side of the bed and standing. Your mouth fell open at the full sight of the destroyed kitchen. Every single surface covered in various baking ingredients. You walked cautiously towards the floury disarray before looking into a bowl of what you presumed started as pancakes. You attempted to move the whisk in the batter, it stuck to the bowl like a stick in cement.

“Az, what possessed you to try to poison me?” you laughed so heartily it made Azriels heart leap.

“I was trying to comfort you” he genuinely seemed embarrassed, your hand going to his cheek, wiping away flour freckles.

“I love that you’re such an adorable dork” You shook your head gently grinning.

“I love you” Your hand slowly dropped from his face in almost shock at his words.

“I love you so fucking much YN, I hated myself every day you were gone for not saying it and for the past year I wanted to but I didn’t want to add to any stress you might be holding on to-”

“-You could never make me stress Az…unless you make me eat this” you laughed and his eyes beamed at the sound he wished to only hear for the rest of his life. You wrapped your arms around his neck and he happily leaned into the kiss. Home. This was home and this was Azriel.

“I love you too” you breathed against his lips, his hands meeting your hips before dropping to the backs of your legs and lifting you from the ground. Your legs wrapped around him as you caught hold of his t-shirt, deepening the kiss further, for the first time in a year you felt the deep crack in your soul begin to stitch together again. The kiss grew hungrier as Azriel angled you to hover you above the counter before gently putting you down.

“ARGH!” you shrieked as the freezing cold pancake batter he put you down on soaked immediately through your shorts. You leapt from the counter with lightning speed, trying to pull the fabric from your skin as Azriel roared with laughter.

“Something funny flour face?” you said through rising laughter as Azriel tried to collect himself.

“If you get a chance do you think you could take some of the batter off your shorts and make breakfast” you lightly scoffed at his words before taking a fist of batter and clapping it right into his chest.

“Oh you’re so dead YN!” he howled at the cold through tears of laughter, grabbing the bowl and proceeding to chase you around his house, your home.

------------------------------------------------------------

Hehe, whatcha think!

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stoutguts · 2 months ago

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Ghoap 💀🧼 relationship dynamic HC (shall we?)

Simon "Ghost" Riley is no scaredy-cat.

The man has been through hell on Earth, survived torture, abuse,—and being buried alive for fuck’s sake. They managed,—even after everyone he loved was taken from him. Has been through countless tense and anxiety inducing situations throughout their military career.

But Ghost has nerves of steel, excellent control over his emotions, and naturally that’s why it’s so damn good at its job.

Though…there is one thing that scares the shit out of them. Soap.

Simon thought he was all big and bad,—intimidating,—until he met John “Soap” MacTavish.

Johnny is only around half its size, yet he manages to be even scarier than Ghost somehow. Which is wild, considering one of them looks like the damn grim reaper with that skull mask of theirs.

Simon may have a reputation for “the guy you don’t wanna mess with”, to the point where people won’t even bother with them.—But Soap’s got more than a few screws loose himself.

New recruits and others will at least approach him,—but with serious caution, and are careful to watch their mouths around him.

His anger is explosive, fitting, for a demolitions expert. A total loose cannon when he wants to to be. Some recruits even refer to him as “the psycho Scot” or "Ghost's guard dog". Titles he takes to with pride.

Johnny’s known for putting people in their place, and with every fight he’s ever gotten into,—he’s always won. Often sending his opponents to medical.

Most of the time though, he just has to look at someone and it scares them shitless. He’s mastered his death glare, and it even sends shivers up Ghost’s spine.

The man’s a total gym rat and health nut, nothing but muscle, and he trains the most of anyone Simon has ever seen. Works out constantly, and loves to get his body moving. He can never simply sit still, and being active actually helps him to clear his head and blow off steam. Always keeping track of his calories, weighing out his portions, and whatnot,—with a pescatarian and vegetarian lifestyle. He’s also a nature lover and tree hugger,—loves to go on hikes or go camping in his spare time. He’s naturally a reigning champ when it comes to hand to hand combat, and is a highly skilled fighter, in fact, he specializes in it. He’s capable of taking out tangos with nothing but his fists alone. He even beats Simon to a pulp on the sparring mats most of the time. (Ghost may like him beating the snot out of him more than they than would like to admit…)

Soap is used for interrogations, (as he also just so happens to be an interrogation expert). He’s morally bankrupt just enough,—to where he’ll do just about anything to get answers out of someone. Whether it involves violence or not.

Simon has seen the sheer extent of the injuries sustained by the poor bastards that were stupid enough to challenge him, that pissed him off, or that he’s extracted information out of—and that was enough for Ghost.

He recalls that one time he directly witnessed Johnny, feigning calmness, take a recruit’s hand in his, then proceed to snap the guy’s thumb clean in half in one fluid motion. (The recruit had decided to wolf whistle at him when he was walking over to Ghost,—after their duties had wrapped up regarding training the newbies).

Simon is a smart man, and knows when to pick his battles. Soap being the battle he most certainly knows NOT to pick.

Although Johnny is more lenient with Ghost than other people, and lets them get away more,—Simon’ll be damned if it ends up on the receiving end of Soap’s wrath.

I really like the idea of Soap being the dominating one in the relationship, but Ghost not being entirely submissive either.

Like Simon can and will be the one to put him in HIS place, and snap him back to reality. Though still allows him his fun.

While Johnny relies on Ghost to let him know when he’s “too much” or taking things too far,—allows himself to be muzzled. Making a point to let Simon have the control, at least every now and then. Of course, while challenging Ghost’s authority a healthy amount and protesting the whole time.

Both try to be as respectful as possible of the other’s needs and desires, while also "maintaining their roles". But both are effectively switches, whether it's in the bedroom or not, and mainly put up this dom and sub act for other people and for their own amusement. They have no fixed roles, truly.

SOAP BEING JUST AS MENTALLY FUCKED AS GHOST MY BELOVED

thanks for coming to my Ted talk

(Also, the tidbit about Soap snapping a recruit’s thumb in half is actually based on a family member of mine’s story. Basically, my older sister had this guy pour water down the back of her shirt in high school, and in response, she straight up broke his thumb/snapped it in half lmao).

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cindyss · 7 months ago

Text

• - ARE YOU FLIRTING OR STARTING A FIGHT?- •

PAIRING(S): theodre nott x fem. reader

WARNING(S): smutt

SUMMARY: theodore and y/n are academic rivals, and when one time she gets into an argument with snape and gets detention, the slytherin boy finds a way to follow her there

A/N: thanks for 100 followers ily all 💓

——————————————————

Everyone knew you and theodore were academic rivals, both of you had always been racing to be at the top of your classes for years now. However, you always were a few points ahead of him, so you always managed to find a way to brag about it.

You’d always rub your higher marked grades in front of his face, you’d tease him about it in the corridor, lunchtime, anytime, all the time. One class however, potions, was one you faced difficulty with.

Snape wasn’t the biggest fan of your house, Ravenclaw, neither was he of you. He gave you a hard time in his class, while on the other hand theo had it the way he liked.

One time in potions class, Draco gave Neville a potion which caused the Gryffindor boy to throw up slugs all over the room. This little show earned a good chuckle from pretty much everyone, and seeing as Snape wasn’t really trying to do anything about it, you finally snapped. “What the hell is going on?” you shout. “Calm yourself, ms.” Snape answered. “No, no! Look what hes doing to him, do something about it!” “Alright, shush now. This is my class, my business to handle, my choices to make and take.” He said, more angrily now.

“This is bullshit!” You shout. “All right, detention ms!” Snape shouts angrily. Just then, theodore punches blaise in the face, making his nose bleed. Holding his face, blaise speaks “what the actual fuck was that for?”. Theo then goes for another punch and thats when snape stops him using his wand, “alright nott, detention for you too!” you could see the little smirk appearing on theo’s lips as snape spoke.

Later ~

The both of you had to spend your night cleaning the library for detention, wonderful. You got there and to your surprise, theo was already there before you. You ignore him and immediately get to work, you wanted to be done and out of here in no time.

As you’re putting some of the books back, he approaches you. “You’re not going to ignore me the whole night right?” to that you dont answer. “But really, Longbottom, out of all people?” He chuckles. “What are you trying to say, neville is my friend and everyone always finds a way to make fun of him so i will not allow that to happen in my presence.”

You leave the slytherin boy in shock and he turns back to keep working on his part. After a while, he speaks again “You know that this whole problem thing with snape will cause you to fail his class?” he speaks.

“I do.” You scoff. “That means i have a higher chance of getting ahead of you and being at the top of the grade this year.”he teases. “I dont even fucking care nott.” You speak as you keep your face to the front, putting the books back in place. “But that wont happen.” He adds. You turn to him confused, “huh?”. “That wont happen i said.” He speaks.” “And how come?” you ask. “Listen to me, we’ve been academic rivals for years, every single time i was so close to beating you, but i never did, do you ever wonder how?”

You don’t speak, as you cant quiet understand what he’s talking about. He then proceeds to continue “i did it on purpose, i knew how much it matters to you, i read your diary in our first year saying how you were so bad at everything you’ve tried and that studying was the only thing you were good at, thats why i’d write the wrong answers on purpose. Id also steal potter’s invisibility cloak to sneak into the classrooms and change your wrong answers.”

“There is no way,” you say hesitantly unsure what to say instead. “Yes, you need to believe me.” “What the fuck, are you flirting with me or tryna start a fight?” He tilts your chin to look up at him, “i never wanna fight with you, i just want you to be happy.”

Just then you lean in closer and connect your lips. He kisses you back, tongues colliding, his hands land on your hips and he pulls you in closer. He pins you to the bookshelf and starts leaving wet, hungry kisses on your neck and collarbone. You moan at the feeling and grab his hair, to which he responds by biting the skin on your neck, slowly, then more aggressively. “Theo, i wanna thank you for what you did” you speak in between moans. “I wanna pleasure you please.” “You’ll only pleasure me by doing what i ask you to do, let me give you head until you forget your name, cara mia.”

Just then he lifts you so that your legs rest on his shoulders, he raises your skirt and lowers you panties. “God you’re already so fucking wet f’me bella.” He says as he begins trailing kisses around your pussy. You arch your back a bit, wanting him to eat you out already to which he chuckles before he begins teasing your folds with his tongue.

He licks your folds then keeps a hand on your thigh to make sure you don’t fall before he adds three fingers inside you all in one go. “HOLY FUCKKKK” you scream and squirm and squeeze around him, only burying his face deeper into your pussy as his tongue and fingers work in sync. You feel your climax building already, “im gonna cum, theo.” You moan as theo speeds his movements. “FUCKK, OH SHIT YEAH JUST LIKE THAT.”

You release and theo licks you clean. He then shows you some of your come on his fingers and he makes you lick them off his fingers. “You taste so fucking good,” he speaks, kissing you. You moan into his mouth then speak “let me give you head, please, i promise to swallow everything.” He breaks the kiss and smiles at you before beginning to remove his pants. You kneel between the boy, who’s now sat on a chair, and find the lace of his boxers.

You pull them down to reveal his hard, throbbing cock. You begin leaving trails of kisses along his v line. Then, you grab his cock and begin massaging it. He leans down to kiss you as you’re playing with him. You palm him and feel his dick twitch at your touch, then you take most of his length in one go. He moans loudly at the feeling as you lick around, sucking better than ever.

You allow your head to move up and down as you try to take more of his length, your nails digging into his thighs. He tugs at your hair, his fingers playing with your brown curls. The slytherin boy then pushes your head completely making his cock hit the back of your throat.

You gag loudly, the sound sending shivers down theos body. As a result, he throws his head back, moaning as you quicken your moves. “Ohhh, my god ‘hm, yeah, please.. mm.. hmh.. fuckkk just like that principessa.” The boy now a whining, whimpering mess. him moaning like that oml.

Without warning, he cums into your mouth. You look up at him between your lashes, your eyes filled with tears. He smiles down at you, watching you swallow everything. He then carries you and places you on his lap, “good girl, that was fucking awesome, tesoro (sweetheart).”

“I wanna make you cum one more time tonight, i know you have one left.” he speaks. “Only if you promise to come inside me.” You announce. He chuckles and nods as he begins removing your shirt. He removes it then proceeds to remove your bra.

Your boobs fly out, bouncing, also revealing your hard tits. He immediately lays his mouth on your breast, pleasuring your left boob, licking and sucking on it endlessly. He also used his other hand to pinch and play with your tit on the other side. This man, lord. He was only playing with your boobs and he was already gonna throw you over the edge again.

He then pleasured the other boob similarly, licking, sucking, and biting before he started leaving a trail of kisses all the way up to your neck. He then held your hips and slowly begin lowering you onto him, you were able to get most of him in the first time. Then, he gave you time to adjust before pushing more of himself in. You moan when you have his whole length in and then when you get used to his size, you begin riding him.

As you begin riding him slowly and carefully, he groans slightly at the feeling. Theo then places his fingers on your clit and starts rubbing hard which makes you feel yourself cum start to form. “Im gonna cum again teddy..” you announce. “Do it, f’me cara mia.” You speed your movements and so does he, you begin moaning at the speed of things to which he kisses you to stop the moans from being too loud.

Then, theo uses his hips to thrust deeper into your so that you’re practically bouncing on him. That is followed by him sucking on the sensitive skin on your neck, biting and licking it until you scream as you release onto him. As he’s helping you ride out your climax, you moan his name making him groan and cum inside of you.

The boy then grabs your face and kisses you hard, “i fucking loved that,” he speaks. “So did i” you smile back at him. Just then, you hear a sound coming from somewhere to which you both jump in fear and begin getting dressed. You manage to put your skirt and shirt on, but the slytherin boy only his pants before mr lupin appears.

His eyes widen in surprise at the site of the boy half naked, “a little hot mr nott?” “uhh.. yes sir” he says hesitantly. Remus then chuckles, “im gonna let it slide this time but please try to do it in a more private place and finish your duties too.” You both nod before moving back to your jobs.

#harry potter #slytherin #theodore nott #theodore nott fanfiction #slytherin boys #smut #theodore nott x reader

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bluehwale · 2 years ago

Text

unconventional first encounters with ateez

part one // part two

pairing. ateez x reader (specifically fem! reader for seonghwa's & jongho's)

genre. fluff, humor, this is a headcanon with a teensy bit of thriller and fantasy (and maybe sci-fi)

warning(s). a creepy man stalking u (san's part), swearing, mentions of drinking alcohol, mentions of murder without actual murder, a crazy toxic ex (jongho's part), mingi had a one night stand, mentions of nudity without actual nudity, this is not proofread, seonghwa’s scenes are inspired by the kdrama “youth of may”

word count. 8.7k (sorry in advance)

note. i’ve created a monster… the 3k words headcanon suddenly snowballed into almost 9k oops i think i had too much fun writing this,, anyways please tell me ur favorites! mine would be seonghwa’s, wooyoung’s, and yunho’s bc it may or may not be inspired by a true story,,, (if u notice me reusing a trope in this hc,,,,, no u don’t)

masterlist

kim hongjoong

you're in a skateboard park

"why did you follow me here?"mingi slurps on his juicebox as he steps on the nose of his skateboard, "you don't even skate."

you turn to look at him and cheekily grin

"is it wrong to want to spend time with my bestfriend?"

mingi raises a brow

okay fine

he's right

you don't skate and you basically see mingi everyday at campus so you're actually kind of sick of him (don't tell him that)

so you're not really here for him

"just go do your thing," you make shooing gestures at the boy with pink hair as you turn to plop down on the side walk

"i'll sit here and watch."

:-D

sit and watch one of the most attractive guys you've ever seen skateboard

kim hongjoong

and there he is

laughing with his friends and doing little skateboard tricks that you can't name

everytime you look at him you hear sk8ter boi by avril lavigne playing as the background music

it's not a crush btw you just think he's super cool

you're falling in love with him

mingi blinks twice at you and proceeds to follow your line of sight

"oh c'mon."

"what??" you huff, trying to avoid his judgemental glare, "i just think he's cute, okay???"

"yeah but i thought whatever phase you had over him would be over by now."

well u thought wrong !!!!! >:-D

"instead of ogling over him, you should try skating."

mingi throws away his empty juicebox in a nearby trash can and drops his board before gently kicking it in your direction

the board hits your feet

"you're trying to kill me?" you deadpan before kicking the board back to his direction

"oh come on!" mingi flails his arms around as he whines "it'll be fun!!!!!"

"fun for you," you snort while trying to look over his gigantic ass that's currently blocking your view, "i'll probably end up with a broken arm."

mingi suddenly grabs onto your hands and pull you up

"nonsense! i'm right here-" he adjusts you on his skateboard and makes sure both your feet are planted firmly on it, "- i won't let anything happen to you :-D"

the thing is

you love your best friend

but you absolutely cannot trust him in situations like this

you were about to hop off his board and make a run for it

but mingi starts rolling you forward gently

"dUDE!" you yelp, immediately holding tight on his arms that are still gripping you as you both move around the park

"bro calm down, we're going at like 5 kilometers per hour"

and you both kinda go at it for awhile

and oh

oHHH!

wait a minute

this is actually pretty fun !!!!!! :-D

mingi laughs at your excited grin

"see! i told you it's fun!!!!"

okay yeah he's right about this one

"now you try on your own !!!!!"

sometimes mingi forgets that not everyone can do what he does

he releases his hold on you and gives you a push

your eyes widen

your best friend hollers when the board starts going faster

"MINGI I DON'T KNOW HOW TO STOP THIS THING"

"WAIT Y/N WATCH OUT! THERE'S A--"

you shriek as you hurdle to the ground and the skateboard kinda just tumbles behind you

"a pothole that hasn't been fixed," mingi winces before slowly walking over towards you

but someone beats him to it

"hey are you okay? that was a pretty rough fall"

you look up to see a boy with half of his short hair dyed blonde and the other half black, his wide eyes pooling with concern

cue sk8ter boi by avril lavigne

if he's here........ that means he must've seen you embarrassingly fall flat on your face and basically eat the ground

okay, your dramatic ass actually didn't even fall face first to the ground but,,

you somehow ended up with having your palms and knees on the ground

and the kim hongjoong is right in front of you

..........you had to resist the urge to curl up and die

"i-i'm fine-- ouch," you hiss as you move to push off the ground

exposing your now bloody knees and scratched up palms

apparently you're not fine

"oh no," hongjoong frowns, gently cradling one of your bleeding hands in both of his and you kinda have to muffle back your scream because oMG

he lets go of your hand and kinda digs around in his pants' pocket to pull out what looks like an antiseptic spray thing and a

and a box of pink disney princesses band aids

you didn't know skater boys can be this cute?????? HE'S SO CUTE???????

"i got just the right things to fix you up!" he exclaims and looks over at you for permission, "is it okay if i do it for you?"

you can only nod

meanwhile, mingi's just kinda standing awkwardly on the sidelines while watching the boy disinfect your wounds with the spray

and he sees that hongjoong immediately strikes you into a conversation in an attempt to distract you from the pain once he sees you flinching

and he's just inwardly going wooooo yeah !!!!!! go gET IT Y/N!!!!!!

hongjoong was starting to open the box of bandaids when he notices that you're staring a hole into his busy hands

"don't judge me for these, i just picked up the first ones i see," he says, thinking that you're probably staring at the bandaids because you're thinking of how weird it is for an emo-looking guy like him to have pink bandaids, "i think they're pretty cool anyways."

"yeah, they are cool," you scoot closer to him, "i was just hoping you have either tiana or rapunzel. they're my favorite princesses."

well

hongjoong thinks that's wildly endearing somehow

if he ends up not having two of the princesses in his remaining band-aid pack, he's definitely running to the nearest drugstore to get a new one

just for you :-D

he chuckles and digs around the box to hopefully see a bandaid with a princess dressed in green or another one dressed in purple

as he finishes placing the band-aids on your injuries, he stood up and offers a hand to pull you up

"i'm hongjoong."

yeah you know

you return his name with your own and he softly smiles when repeating your name under his breath

"y/n, try not to get hurt when i see you next time."

park seonghwa

"let's get married."

you almost spurt out the complimentary water you were drinking

what in the arrranged marriage bullshit????

you finally agreed to go on one of many blind dates your mother has arranged to hopefully marry you off in hopes of merging your family company with another powerful company

to which your personal chef, wooyoung, proposed a plan (that had yeosang, your personal assistant, immediately going on his knees to beg you not to do)

wooyoung calls it operation zombie bride

which roughly translates to 'make yourself an undesirable wife'

but you didn't even get the chance to get your acting game going because this park seonghwa of park enterprises is already asking for your hand in marriage

right after you took a seat across him and managed to take ONE sip of the glass of water prepared on your table

"have you lost your mind??" you sputter while trying to swallow down the bits of water you're currently choking on, "you don't even know me!"

seonghwa raises a brow and opens his mouth, ready to retort back to your challenging remark when a waitress come up to your table

"may i start you both with a drink?"

"yes please," you try to force your hiccups to a stop so you can deadpan at the admittedly handsome man in front of you, "i'll have a bottle of beer."

the waitress visibly tries to stifle her surprise because it's currently 11 am and it's unheard of for people like you in a fancy restaurant like this to order the alcoholic drink

but yeah it's none of her business so she just took both of your orders and leaves :-D

"i guess you like to drink."

it's no question that you both obviously know of each other

having both been raised in similar worlds to be the perfect heir to be handed the family company

but you'll show him just how much he doesn't know you

you can somehow hear wooyoung's evil cackles from here

"yes," you widen your eyes and hope that you look unhinged enough, "i can't live without it. whenever i feel sober, my hands tremble like crazy."

wooyoung would be so proud that you've perfectly recited the first part of the script he wrote

"i see." an intrigued brow raises at your direction as seonghwa calmly leans back into his chair with a-

HOLD ON WHY IS HE SMIRKING??????????

things are not supposed to go this way

he's supposed to be at least slightly irked by your behavior at this point

the amused smirk still plays on his lips and you were about to openly berate him for being a weird idiot before the waitress comes back with your drinks

at the sight of the bottle of beer and a tall glass set beside it on your table, you think of backing out

you absolutely HATE beer

but you don't want to marry a guy you just met!!!!!

so you sucked it up and gulped down the glass of beer after the waitress poured the alcohol in it to the brim

ggaAAH this shit tastes like piss

you slam the now empty glass on the table before letting out a loud aHHH~ as you smack your lips obnoxiously

and you feel the side of your lip twitch upwards when you see his surprised face

(ﾉ>ω<)ﾉ :｡･:*:･ﾟ’★,｡･:*:･ﾟ’☆ wooyoung's plan is wooooorking~!

"may i have a sip?"

record scratch. the earth stops rotating. pause.

"it's just, you make it look so delicious," seonghwa nods at the bottle before pushing down the cuffs of his grey suit and you swear you see his mirthful eyes twinkle when they meet your own gobsmacked ones

without waiting for an answer, he grabs the remaining beer in the bottle and lets the drink tip into his mouth as he knocks his head back to avoid touching his lips to the bottle

you kinda wish they did- AYYYOO?? U DID NOT THINK THAT NO U DIDN'T YOU DON'T FIND THIS MAN ATTRACTIVE AT ALL--

seonghwa lets out a rasped guttural sigh before he hums out, "now this is some nice beer." as he twirls the bottle in hands to look at its label before returning it back beside your glass

you do not find this man drinking alcohol attractive. you repeat, you do not find this man drinking alcohol attractive.

he sends another smirk your way

time to resort to the second half of the script

you rest your elbows on the table and lean closer to the man in front of you as your eyes narrow, "i've been told that i'm picky when it comes to who i date."

you wait for him to start spewing out random nonsense about some bullshit or the "nice guys always finish last" rant but he surprisingly stays silent and motions a hand for you to elaborate

"i don't want a man that expects me to cook or clean," you tilt your head back and give him a smirk of your own, "i'm not the type to stay home and cook for my husband. my career is more important."

he stays silent, and you can't help but feel a tad bit disappointed that maybe he's just like any other man-

"i like it."

ngl you almost went apeshit after hearing that

"my ideal type is an ambitious woman."

maybe your heart went pitter patter hearing that but no!!! you're not getting married!!!!

"i'll never want to have kids!" you grasp at straws, blindingly saying anything that will hopefully give him the ick because mhm yeah he definitely looks like a guy who want kids of his own yeah you got this

but he shrugs it off with a wave of his hand, "that's up to the woman, of course. i won't force you to do anything."

you're fucked.

"you're not as picky as i thought," seonghwa hums as another smirk, this time teasing, curls up on his face

you kinda want to smack it off

he matches your stance as he too, leans closer to you, and he tucks a stray hair behind your ear

"i guess we're pretty compatible, future wife."

jeong yunho

tonight is THE night

your finals are finally over and honestly you don't know if you did a good job at it

but that's for future yn to think about

because present yn is gonna go party it up tonight!!!!

yuh B-)

a new club just opened nearby and it looks pretty cool so you and your friends decided to go there

you have on your cutest outfit with your hair and makeup done

and you're sO excited !! >:-D

"y/n."

"hm?" you turn to face wooyoung, one of your best friends, who currently has his arms crossed and a serious look on his face

cue your cheeky grin and your not so innocent batting eyes

before every outings that involves drinking, wooyoung always gives you the talk because... well,,

one time, none of your friends couldn't find you anywhere in the club because you ended up in a nearby seafood restaurant with your whole face inside one of the aquariums (you don't know how you ended up there and yes it was gross and yes wooyoung had to pay for all the damages)

but the thing is, even though wooyoung threatens reminds you every single time before you drink to not get too crazy, it happens anyway

you don't know why he even bother

(he's handcuffed himself to you once and the night ended with both of his hands cuffed together while you were nowhere to be found)

so yeah aha

"you know the drill," wooyoung deadpans, "it's extra crowded tonight so i want you to be within my sight at all times."

that should be easy

you give him a mock salute, "got it, dad!"

you do feel bad for your friends who have to take care of you whenever you're drunk so you're gonna limit yourself to only 3 shots tonight

yeah you can do that !!! :-D

.........

turns out,,, you can't limit your insatiable drinking habits

you lost count over how many glasses you've had and oh my god wooyoung's gonna be so pissed!!!!

you don't even know where he is

you're just lazing around in between the swarm of bodies on the dance floor

you've gotten to the point where the high to dance waded off and now you just want to sit down and relax

and that's exactly what you were gonna do

until you accidentally stumbled out of the club

"woah!"

everything seems to fall into slow motion

next thing you know, you're engulfed into a pair of arms, your face crashing against a warm pair of tiddies chest that cushions your landing after you drunkenly fling yourself out of the club's exit

a pair of large and warm hands cup around your waist to steady you

your dazed eyes look up to see a man with sleepy doe eyes that blinks in surprise and soft chocolate hair that's slightly tousled

he looks adorable (this is you speaking)

and hot (this is your drunken alter ego speaking)

and you're pretty sure you're gaping like a fish

mom i want him

you wrap your previously flailing arms around his waist, unconsciously pulling him closer as you happily croon

"yooou look like myh future boyfriend!"

the handsome man in your embrace lets out a deep chuckle as amusement crosses his face before concern pools in his eyes once he belatedly realizes the state that you're in

if you weren't so drunk right now, you'd probably swoon over how respectful his hand placements are; his hands lift to linger above your waist as he tries to keep you steady-- not touching you but also making sure he'd be able to catch you in case you topple off him

the bare minimum but it's still cute ok

"hi," he softly greets and you have to bend your neck all the way up because tHIS MAN IS TALL just so you can continue staring at his face in awe

"you're sooo tall !!oof-" you drunkenly stumble more into him as you loudly remark on his height, gaining attention to the both of you

he protectively pulls you in just a little bit closer to him, eyes taking in the amount of iffy strangers that have their eyes lingering on you for too long

"do you know where your friends are?" he softly hums, gently brushing away the sweaty strands of hair that stuck to your face so he can look at you properly

yunho knows he can't leave you alone, not with how your eyes are drooping and your speech slurring even though he desperately wants to catch up on more sleep after he did a little snack run to the convenience store

and it's currently 4 hours before he has to wake up for his morning class :-(

he knows he'll regret not getting enough sleep for his class but,,,

he'll regret it even more if he just leave you all alone

"they're all inside!" you giggle while your finger points to the entrance of the club

a bout of chilly wind suddenly breezes past you and you shiver because oH NO you left your purse and coat in the lockers!!!!!-

a warm jacket that smells of vanilla and steamed milk suddenly sits atop your shoulders

"are you cold?" the boy in front of you frowns as he adjusts his grey jacket over your body, "you should call your friends and ask them to come get you."

you didn't even notice when he gently pried your arms off him so he can shrug off the jacket he's wearing to give to you

hE'S SO-

the boy yelps when a shoe is suddenly hurled in his direction and nearly whacks him in the face, "what the fu-"

"hEY !!!!!!!"

you both turn at the sound of the high pitched shriek to see a tiny boy with red hair and smoke coming out of his ears while holding a purse and two coats with one of his socked feet missing a shoe

"gET YOUR HANDS OFF THEM!" wooyoung dashes at you both with an inhuman speed and launches himself to grab you by the wrist and tuck you behind him

"sorry man," the kind stranger lifts both of his arms into the air to show that he means no harm, "i was trying to help them find their way back to their friends."

wooyoung's like oh when he turns back to see you nod in confirmation and his hostility diminishes in an instant

"oh thanks man :-D i guess you're cool :-D what's your name :-D ?"

"it's yunho."

"well, i'm y/n!! and this is my best friend oomph- wooyoung!!!!!!"

and wooyoung's like c'mon y/n we have to get you back to the dorms and you're like waIT A MINUTE I HAVE TO RETURN THIS JACKET-

"no it's okay you can keep it," yunho assures you with a shy smile

"you look better in it anyway."

he's so- ahaue@$#@3ahgru

"take out your phone." you hiccup and yunho shoots you a confused look but obeys anyway

"listen carefully," you cutely hiccup again with your hands on your waist and yunho has to stifle a laugh at your endearing antics, "i'm gonna recite my number for you."

at that, yunho's eyes comically widen and he fumbles to quickly pull up the phone app

"i'm listening!!!"

kang yeosang

when you ordered for an android that will help you around your apartment, you did not expect this

"delivery for y/n?"

you excitedly peer at the tall box that was wheeled in by the delivery man after thanking him

only faltering once you notice something odd

the label on the box reads KYS-1117

hmmmmmmm

you're sure that you made an order for PSH-1024, an android that's promised to be a clean freak and will keep your housing as neat as possible

pshhhh there's no way a highly renowned tech company that sells expensive androids could make a simple mistake like that right? :-D

yeah ! :-D

so you grab your exacto knife and get to the best part of receiving packages -- unboxing !!!!!

you excitedly dive into ripping the box apart, mindlessly flinging away the handbook that was neatly attached to it because how hard can it be to activate an android?

a very handsome android, it turns out

you peer through the glass window of the white pod that houses a blonde boy laying so peacefully you almost didn't want to wake him up

you fumble around and managed to press a button that lifts the lid of the pod, emanating trendils of mist to reveal a clearer vision of the boy with golden blonde hair, eyes closed as if in a deep sleep

"woah," you murmur, bringing your head closer to take a better look at the android. you somehow expected a normal looking one instead of an android who looks like he just won a beauty peagant but hey,,, you're not complaining :3

you crawl across your living room, grabbing the handbook you set aside and immediately flip open to the first page

how to turn on your android: a guide

aha! here we go

you reach out to poke around the android's neck to press on the disguised button to power him up, ignoring the flame scorching your cheeks at the thinning distance between you and his face

his eyelashes flutter as his eyes slowly open and falls on you as you back away from his personal space

you just kinda stay on your knees (not in that way!!!) in front of his pod, because well..... you don't know what to say to him.....

he's slowly blinking, seemingly fighting sleep, as he trains his gaze on you

this is awkward........ (〃￣ω￣〃ゞ

the silence stretches for another minute before the blonde beauty finally speaks

"There must be something wrong with my eyes."

"huh??" you panic, quickly turning back to the handbook in your hands and flipping the pages frantically. "what's wrong?? does it hurt??? maybe there's something about that in here--"

"... Because I can't take them off you."

:-D ....

you're ... gobsmacked

"uHHH ahhahahHHahHa, nice joke?????"

you really don't know what to say

he smiles, effectively blinding you because, holy shit, this man is too good looking to be an android cleaner wtf, and he gracefully steps out of his pod and crouches down in front of you to tuck your hair behind your ear WHAT IS HAPPENING

"What's your name, doll?"

d-d-doll ????

"uh,,,, it's y/n"

"It's nice to meet you, Y/n. I'm KYS-1117, you can call me Yeosang."

he flashes another charming smile and oop yeah that's all it takes

if you weren't kneeling on the floor, you'd probably pass out

but wait a minute,,,, did he say-

"huh,,,, they did get the order wrong," you mumble to yourself

you don't notice yeosang's face contorting in confusion

"Am I not to your liking?"

your eyes snap back to his warm brown eyes that flashes a hint of hurt before disappearing all too quick

oh no

you managed to hurt an android's feelings (ﾒ﹏ﾒ)

"no no !!!! there's nothing wrong on your part !!" you vigorously shake both of your hands in front of you. "it's just,, i think they sent me.... uh, the wrong ..... android."

"Oh."

yeah...... oh

"Would you like me to contact our customer service? You'll be guaranteed to receive your correct order and compensation, of course."

yeosang lowers his head to face the floor while his voice falls flat; a stark contrast to the charismatic lilt he greeted with you previously

you don't need a degree in psychology to tell that he's visibly upset at the fact that you're gonna return him

it makes you feel worse because no !! this isn't your fault

and you can't ignore the fact that he looks absolutely human right now

okay, you do have to give props to the tech company who, despite messing up your order, did a good job at making their androids realistic

maybe a bit too good because,,, you're getting swayed by him rn

which is weird because aren't androids supposed to NOT have emotions?????

you sigh to yourself

"can you clean?"

the blonde snaps his head to look at you. "I'm sorry?"

woop here it goes

"i'm not returning you," you shrug. "i bet that's gonna take another 2 months to process and i don't see why i should do that when i have you."

you can see the gears turning in his head as he tries to process what you just said

you give him a small smile that you hope is comforting and that it somehow tells him that he's not going back to (you presume) a lab that's probably a hellhole

he perks up at your words, his body rocking back and forth as he excitedly informs you, "I'm not specifically programmed to be a cleaner android, but I can learn! I'm known to be a fast learner!"

"okay,,,,, that's settled then!" you happily reply

this is great, a win-win solution! maybe you should also ask yeosang to get compensation for the mistake they made without returning him

in that way,, you won't have to wait for ages to get another android and you get money !!!!!!

phew

"if you don't mind me asking, what are you specifically programmed to do?"

"Oh! I'm a boyfriend android!"

what did he SAY (o_O) !

bonus

... "yeosang,, why do you talk like that?"

"Ah. Is the way I talk not to your liking?"

you shake your head frantically, "no!! no!!!! it's nothing like that! just that you kinda talk like you use proper capitalization and punctuation all the time aha"

yeosang blinks

"Am I not supposed to?"

"no!!! it's perfectly fine,, i was just hoping you could be more relaxed around me :-D"

relax. yeosang tilts his head at that word

"I am. Relaxed."

you stare at him

his ramrod straight back against your couch, feet planted perfectly side by side on your floor and his hands placed politely on his lap

meanwhile, your figure sprawls messily on the spot next to him

"yeah,,,, okay"

choi san

you felt it once you stepped foot outside the 24 hours supermarket

that feeling of someone watching you

you try to quench it down, thinking that it's just paranoia creeping on you because it's almost 3 am and eerily dark outside

but then you hear it

footsteps.

not too loud, as if the person does not want to be heard, and you realize that their footfalls match yours

they're keeping up with your pace

you feel your heart rapidly race as you curse yourself for leaving your phone because it's charging back home

is it a good idea to run?

you discreetly turn your head to the side, seeing a man way bigger than you with his hood up in your peripheral vision

and his dark gaze straight on you

shit

you attempt your best at nonchalantly flicking your head back forward, hoping that he doesn't realize that you know that he's following you

the streets and sidewalk both remain empty, rows of closed shops greeting you instead of any taxis or people that could help you

you're completely on your own

you inwardly sigh, making a detour to head towards the main street because there's no way in hell you're leading this creep straight back to where you live and if you can be in a busier street, that would be much better

after walking for what felt like hours, you notice the unmistaken colorful lights that shine red, orange, and green from a convenience store's banner

omg

!!! a convenience store !!!!!!

you quickly pick up your pace, not caring over how the man behind you also start to fasten their steps, and you immediately swing open the glass door once your fingers grasp at the handle

your eyes fall to the cashier, a teenager, probably, who looks like he's not older than 18, and at the brink of dozing off into a deep sleep

tears prick your eyes as you feel the panic finally start to overwhelm you because you don't think this kid can do anything besides being scared with you if you drag him into this

but you kinda have no choice

as you step further inside the convenience store, ready to approach him, you notice a mop of messy raven hair near the cold drinks aisle

you feel the presence of the creepy man looming behind you, ready to step into the convenience store as well

you gulp, shivers running down your spine at the thought of being in a close proximity with the stalker

hell no

the cashier's way too close to the entrance

you need to move somewhere further away

you make a beeline for the raven haired boy at the back of the store grabbing two small sized cartons of milk, tightly lacing your arms around his side, your groceries in a bag swishing wildly against him as he looks at you in surprise

"hi, babe!" you loudly greet the stranger, making sure the man who just rang the bell atop the convenience store door as he enters heard you

you shoot wide eyed glances that hopefully screams 'help!' at your temporary pretend boyfriend

who happens to be very handsome btw

"i'm sorry i took so long, you must've been waiting for me," you continue, eyes roaming around the store and quickly spotting the man in front of the aisle you're both in, quietly listening on to your conversation. "the grocery store was so far away! i shouldn't have insisted on going out alone."

the boy you're latching onto must've gotten the memo (at speed record too!) as he quickly wraps an arm around your waist, pulling you closer to him and he lets out a chuckle

"it's okay, baby. let me just pay for these, yeah? mingi and wooyoung are waiting for us in the car outside."

he purposefully raises his voice at the last sentence, making sure that the creep he noticed won't stop staring at you would understand that it'll be a 3 against 1 if he tries anything

gently tugging you by your waist to the other side of the store, away from the man's prying eyes, the boy takes you in with concern furrowing his brows

"are you okay?" he softly whispers, grasping the two cartons of milk in one hand as his other move from your waist to settle comfortingly on your shoulder to soothe you

"yeah," comes your shaky reply, eyes still glancing warily towards the front of the store. "just need to get him off me."

"do you want me to drive you home?" he asks, face quickly grimacing at his insensitivity and he scrambles to replace his offer. "ah, that probably sounds scary. do you want me to call you a cab instead?"

you thank the universe for gracing you with the kindness of this stranger

"sure, that sounds good."

you both finally arrive to the cashier after circling the store, waking up the cashier who begins to lazily ring up the boy's items

his arm wraps around your waist again once he notices the man lingering too close to the both of you and he quickly grabs his paid items after muttering a small 'thank you' before dashing out the door with you by his side

you look behind you, freezing when you see the man with his eyes still on you beyond the glass doors

"the passenger seat's empty, you can sit here first while waiting for your cab, if you want," the raven haired boy offers, opening the passenger seat door of the car parked right outside the store

you enter the car, letting the boy shut the door beside you as you settle down and try to calm your racing heart

"hiiiiiiiiiiiiiii !!!!!!-- uhmm, who are you?"

you turn to the backseat to see a redhead with a nosy expression, his limbs tangled with a blonde boy's own limbs who also sports the same expression, although his looks more confused than nosy

"some creep was following them on their way home," said the raven haired boy, already settling down on his own seat and shutting the door as you look over to the driver's side

"what?" an angry yell sounds from behind, the blonde seemingly trying to untangle himself from the redhead as he desperately tries to claw the car window. "that fucker!"

"mingi!" reprimands his friend in the driver's seat, his head shaking at his friend's antics and he looks at you with an apologetic look. "sorry about him, they both had a little too much to drink. i'm san, by the way"

"san," you repeat his name, and told him yours. "thank you for helping me back there."

"of course," san gives you a dimpled smile, pulling out a pack of mint chewing gum out of the plastic bag and offering it to you. "i heard chewing gum helps when you're nervous."

you must've been too focused on the man near you while he was paying that you didn't notice him grabbing it

and you know that you're not supposed to accept candy from a stranger but you kinda need it ok

"oh, thank you so much," you shyly thank him as you grab the pack. "you didn't have to."

"yeah, but i wanted to," he says, giving you another smile before grabbing the two cartons of milk and tossing them to his friends

"oUUUCH!!!!!! san you hit my head!!" the redhead wails, grabbing his head with both hands in dramaticized agony after the boxed milk bounces off his head while the blonde angrily yells that he does not want milk!!!!!!!

"a bunch of kids, both of you," san tiredly sighs and you almost giggle at his funny expression that resembles an exhausted dad dealing with his two rowdy toddlers

"drink the milk! you need to neutralize!"

"I DON'T WANT TO!!!!!!!"

"MINGI SHUT UP YOU'RE MAKING MY HEAD HURT EVEN MORE"

what a cute friend group

you ended up asking san to drive you home because somehow, you feel like you can trust him

(he drove you home safely with his two drunken friends singing 2000s hits all the way home and you both exchanged numbers)

song mingi

the biggest regret of your life is moving in to a shared apartment that was listed on craiglist

yeah.... you don't know what you were thinking

your roommate is literally a descendant from hell

and not in the cool sexy demon way

but in the 'i've made it my job to make your life a living hell' kinda way

besides the fact that:

a) she never cleans up after herself (whether it be dishes, laundry, or anything, really) and,

b) she acts like you're the bane of her existence,,,

it feels like she has a guy over every night

and honestly, you have no qualms about her getting dicked down because good for her

but the walls are PAPER THIN

you really wonder how she never got a noise complaint over how loud she is

and you have to applaud her for her stamina because they would go for hoouuurs and you'd end up watching the sun rise without getting a wink of sleep everytime

it's gotten to the point where your friends are concerned because you'd show up to class or hangouts with eyebags and a murderous look on your face

your sleep schedule is so messed up

you'd do all your assignments during the night with your headphones in, go to classes during the day, then pass out right after your classes end

all of your friends are kinda on edge around you because they're scared you're gonna Snap™ one day lmao

anyways, you were just chilling one night with your headphones in (which you immediately put on after hearing the unmistakable high pitched noises coming from your roommate's room), waiting for it to be 8 am so you can go to your morning class

when your laptop suddenly lost connection to your wifi

and you hate working on your google docs offline !!!! >:-(

so you forced yourself to get up and go to the living room to see what's going on with your wifi router

only to find a butt naked man hovering over it

eeEEK

"what the fuck!!!" you scream, grabbing the nearest thing to you (a throw pillow on the couch) and launching it on the stranger who's very much naked in your living room

"what--" the man cries out, looking back to see you with your eyes closed just as the pillow bounces off his head. "who the fuck are you??"

you wish you kept your eyes open just to let him see your eyeroll but you quickly scratch that thought because you really don't want to see a stranger's dick at 7 in the morning

your nostrils flare at the nerve of whoever this guy is at your apartment

"excuse me??? who the fuck are you?"

turns out, his name is mingi, and you came to know of it after he got appropriately dressed, turned on and off your wifi router, and sat down across you to enjoy his breakfast that you made

you also came to learn that he's the one who made your roommate sound like a literal pornstar last night

"so, uhh.." the blonde awkwardly starts, gripping his cutlery as he pathetically tries to strike up a conversation while you're busy wolfing down your breakfast. "you cook often?"

the simple question turns into a long conversation that you surprisingly find yourself enjoying

not only is he super cute,,,, but he's also so fun to tease

you move to clear away both of your plates and mingi looks up to you in awe, "that was the best breakfast i've ever had."

you smile, "sure, and that will be $53."

"huh?"

your raise a brow, "you think i'm giving you free breakfast?"

you laugh when you see him scramble to pull out his phone and ask you for your venmo

"dude, i was just kidding," you reassure him, "but please give me a heads up if you're coming over to fuck my roommate again. i couldn't get a wink of sleep last night."

mingi turns a bright shade of red

jung wooyoung

you can't believe it

never in your life would you think you'd be a witness to MURDER

you were just calmly walking back home after meeting up with your friends when you spot a guy with both of his arms pointed to the sky

you had a "little bit" of soju during your monthly bbq hangouts with your friends, so your tipsy self took some time to openly judge and even snort at the stupid looking stranger

that is until, a golden bow materialises into his hold

what in the hunger games lmao

.... you scratch your eyes, hoping to clear your vision

his right hand reaches into the air again, seemingly pulling out two golden arrows with their tips dipped in crimson out of nowhere

wtf did someone lace your soju

and then he nocks them, one above the other, and draws the string back

is he about to shoot someone??????

he releases the arrows in the direction of two people conversing with each other in a playground's swing set not too far away from you and-- holy sHIT HE'S SHOOTING TWO PEOPLE AT ONCE

you hear the wind rip as the arrows zips through the air before embedding deep into the unsuspecting targets' chests

it took point three seconds for you to realize what the suspicscious man did

and that's when you scream

very loudly

but wait a minute

......... there's nothing

there's no blood, no dead bodies dropping to the floor, and the arrows that struck their chests somehow vanished into thin air

in fact, the two people he shot looks happier now

that's weird

but you continue to scream anyway

the boy whips his head to see you; a little tipsy and screaming your head off, and when your eyes lock with one another, his eyes go impossibly wider

he swiftly dashes off into your direction after carelessly throwing his bow into the air and wait,,,, did the bow just dissappear??? it was right there--

a hand suddenly clamps over your mouth

"stop screaming."

.................

you proceed to scream even louder

the boy lets out an annoyed grunt, somehow dragging you into an alley with his hand still clamped over your mouth and the other gripping the back of your head tightly

"look i need you to calm down, okay?" he lets out a huff, nervous hands running through his red hair -- a detail you just noticed with the moonlight shining on him

you finally stop screaming and he immedieately sighs in relief, loosening his grip on you

you take a good look at him

he's beautiful

"thank you," the boy nonchalantly replies, too distracted with looking out the alley to make sure no one saw you struggling against a body of air into an alley. "just to be clear, i didn't kill them okay? they're perfectly fine"

but you're not even listening to him

"you can read my mind?!"

"yes i can but that's not the point," the redhead squints. "i need you to understand that i didn't kill them and that you're not supposed to be able to see me"

you swallow

this guy might be cute but,,,,, you definitely wouldn't risk it because he's weird weird

"umm okay, mr. i'm-not-a-murderer,, what else would you be doing with a bow and arrow besides killing someone??? running your cupid errands or something haha????"

he knocks his head to the side, taking quick steps to near you that has you pinned against the wall as his eyes rake over you in scrutiny

"who sent you?"

pffft LMAOOO ｡ﾟ(TヮT)

"what are you on???" you breathe, having to take in a large gulp of air after literally laughing your ass off because of how ridicilous he sounds

there's an offended tick to the boy's brow, his stare drilling at you

you wipe tears from your eyes, "you're saying you're the cupid? or eros? or uh,,, whatever his name is"

the boy rolls his eyes, placing his hands in the pockets of his pants as he moves to lean against the brick wall beside you. "yeah,, cupid or eros works. but i prefer wooyoung."

your jaw slackens. this guy can't be serious

"okay, wooyoung. how do i know you're not lying?"

the same golden bow you saw earlier materializes in front of you out of nowhere, its grip in a firm grasp within wooyoung's hand

huh,,,, seems pretty legit

mhm okay you're sold, you guess you can tick off meeting someone supernatural off your bucketlist!

wooyoung chuckles, he must've read your mind again, and he turns to look at you at his side, mouth still gaping in awe at his glowing bow

"glad you finally believe i'm real," he smugly grins, flinging his bow to the side where it magically vanishes in mid-air

"although, you're really not supposed to be able to see me. you're the first mortal to ever do so."

you see curiosity lighting up his eyes but you also see something else

relief

"you're the first mortal to ever do so."

he probably has uh godly friends up there but,, you can't imagine how lonely it must feel to walk on earth without anyone acknowledging you,,,, as if you don't exist

everyone should have someone around!!! D-:

"let's be friends!"

"what?" his eyes fall back to its usual indifferent gaze, this time, with a tinge of nervousness. "i don't even know your name, how are we supposed to be friends??"

"hush, i know you know my name from the beginning. you probably read it off my mind," (you're right), "now come on! you have to show me some more of your katniss everdeen side!!"

"katnip what??" he yelps in disbelief, figure remaining still despite the incessant tugs on his wrist by your attempt of pulling him out of the alley

"and i don't need friends!"

he was about to go off more about how people would think you're batshit crazy because they won't be able to see him and- oop his back is off the wall now, yeap he's moving out the alley with you successfully pulling him

"yes you do!" you turn to look at him and made a stop once you both are out of the alley, a grin makes it way on your face. "i can't believe it!!!! i'm cupid's first friend!!!"

a faint smile almost places itself on wooyoung's face because hey, being friends with you doesn't seem too bad

but he tramples it down with all his might, rolling his eyes and letting out a huff instead

"just follow me and keep your mouth shut."

guess he's stuck with you then

(he's a little bit happy about that. just a little.)

choi jongho

you knew you should've trusted your gut feeling on not going to the frat party

“but ynnnnnnnn,” one of your best friends, yuna, whines, “it’s been forever since you partied with us!!! just this one time please please !!!!!”

and you being the easily moved person you are reluctantly agreed after some more convincing

“don’t worry babe,” ryujin, another one of your best friends, reassures you while applying lip gloss in her vanity, “i’ll personally kick your ex’s ass if he tries anything on you.”

right, your ex

he’s the prime reason why you would not step foot in any more college parties because trust yourself when you say that he will be in every available party

but you know what

you’re kinda siCK of that !!!

so even though your ex is borderline crazy and threatens you to get back together even if you don’t want to

you’re gonna go to the party :-D

with your five besties protecting you

<333

“let’s go!!!” chaeryeong whoops with her head out the opened car window as yeji, the designated driver of the night, parks the car in front of the already blaring frat house

“now girls,” lia starts, “make sure your phones are always on okay?? and make sure at least one of us knows where you are—”

she’s interrupted by the door slamming open and oh yup there they go—

ryujin, chaeryeong, and yuna are already sprinting across the lawn to get to the house

you all exchange looks as lia lets out a sigh

it’s gonna be a long night

turns out, it’s gonna be an even longer night

specifically just for you

you were just in the kitchen trying to pour some vodka into your red solo cup when you lock eyes with him

your ex, stood in front of the opened fridge

woops what, vodka?? yeah i don’t need that because i’m getting outta here bye

“y/n, wait.”

you briskly walk to the living room slash dance floor with your eyes desperately trying to find your fiery friend who promised to kick the ass of the man currently following you as he tries to call after you

to no avail

you’re kIND of panicking now!!!!!

just then, a figurative lightbulb flickers above your head when your eyes land on a guy with dark brown hair with a cup of his own perched on a corner alone

you’re hoping this works

you practically sprint to him and he looks like his heart is about to pop off his chest at the sight of someone barrelling towards him at full speed

“i’m so sorry but i have a crazy ex who’s following me literally right now so can you please be my boyfriend for like 5 seconds?”

the words jumbled out of you in a haste— too quick for jongho to catch anything else besides ‘crazy ex’ and ‘be my boyfriend’ but he knows from your panicked eyes that you’re asking for help

and of course he will

jongho’s eyes scan around the living room, finally seeing the guy who he can tell is your ex by the determined steps he’s taking towards you along with his eyes set on you

ok yeah jongho agrees with you

because damn this guy does look like he’s crazy

he figures there’s nothing to lose

“yeah, sure.”

jongho expects you to probably just linger near him in hopes of your ex leaving or maybe he’d have to play the role of the protective “boyfriend” by landing a punch on your ex if he tries to pick on a fight

what he didn’t expect was your lips meeting his own

if jongho is an android, the wires in his head would've short circuit

your arms move to wrap at the back of his neck and you slightly tip toe so you can reach him better

he almost faltered on the kiss because he finds that so cute

only after you initiated the touch does he place his hands on your waist to pull you even closer as he surprisingly deepens the kiss into a sweet kiss

his soft lips slowly guide you into a slower tempo, smoothly taking charge by moving a hand to softly grasp your cheek while the other rubs comforting circles on your exposed waist

YOU’RE TRYING SO HARD NOT TO BLUSH

“what the fuck– get off my girl man!”

you’re forcefully separated from the boy with a breathless gasp as your ex pins him against the wall

despite your ex shouting obscenities at him with a hand wrapped on the collar of his shirt, the brunette doesn’t look scared at all

in fact, he kinda looks bored

his eyes lazily rake over your ex and he indignantly smirks before letting out a deep chuckle that silences the boy in front of him

“how pathetic.”

his big shoulders effortlessly knocks your ex to the side as he shoots a glare at him

this time, he’s the one standing in front of your ex with his intimidatingly large figure towering over him

“if you ever touch her or even fucking try to look at her, i’ll make sure to let everyone in this house know to beat the shit out of you whenever we see you.”

that’s when realization seeps into your ex and his body immediately froze

“oh shit, jongho, i-i’m sorry man,” your ex stammers, silently cursing himself for blindly messing with one of the frat members in their own party, “i didn’t know that she’s yours.”

“she’s not a thing you can own,” jongho rolls his eyes, roughly pushing your ex off the wall and harshly slapping his hand on his back to force him towards the door’s direction, “now get out of here.”

as your ex scrambles out the door, you turn to face jongho with your head slightly muddled by the fact that

a) you kissed a frat boy

b) he’s hot

c) oh and have you mentioned that he’s hot?

“you good?”

you scramble out of your thoughts to see him looking over you carefully, “yeah…. thank you for that.”

a gummy smile lights up his face and you’re kinda confused because this guy does not resemble the intimidation he showed earlier at all, “no problem.”

ok go off duality king

“wanna get out of here?”

this is the first time you met a frat boy who’s not really interested in the party he’s in

but you like that :-D

you smile, “sounds good.”

#ateez x reader #ateez imagines #ateez fluff #ateez fanfic #ateez fic #ateez reactions #ateez scenarios #ateez headcanons #ateez ff #ateez humor #hongjoong x reader #seonghwa x reader #yunho x reader #yeosang x reader #san x reader #mingi x reader #wooyoung x reader #jongho x reader

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currymanganese · 4 months ago

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GUYS, I CAN'T ACTUALLY BELIEVE I'M SAYING THIS, BUT WHAT IF THEY ACTUALLY HAD A GOOD REASON FOR JOHN CENA BEING CAST AS SAMMY FAK?

please bear with me (pun intended) and let me know what you think of my speculation under the cut~

In a mind-boggling case of a seemingly big-lipped alligator moment in season 3 - John Cena appears in a bizarrely over the top (even by the tonal comedic standards set previously by The Bear e.g. Ecto Cooler punch at a kid's birthday party getting spiked with Xanax in Season One) and jarring scene that stretches on and on as he obnoxiously squabbles, blathers and exchanges nonsensical rapid-fire quips with his brothers Neil and Ted Fak as they buff polish The Bear's dining area before a food photographer from The Chicago Tribune arrives to take a photo for a review of The Bear.

In this scene, he also intimidates and threatens to 'haunt' (in a Fak family tradition ( that even the Faks find annoying) - that involves pranking and being an unrestrained nuisance to their loved ones especially when they least expect it) his brother Ted for, "stealing his SD cards"......

This scene and the increased screen presence of the seemingly plot-irrelevant Faks this season is currently being eviscerated by plenty of fans and critics alike.

Edit:

I now strongly suspect that John Cena's role was always in the works ever since S1

..................................

But what if there's a (debatable, but) really good reason for this scene and the increased involvement in Seasons 2 and 3 of the massive numbered siblings family of Carmy's pseudo cousins, the Faks?

See Exhibit A:

In season 2, episode 3, Sundae - after Carmy has already asked Sydney out to Kasama, a husband and wife owned restaurant run by Tim Flores, and Genie Kwon*, ostensibly just to brainstorm and gain inspiration for planning for the new menu, and after Sydney has already gone home and freshened up and changed her clothes, then arrived to Kasama early, despite the meeting only being scheduled for an hour after she last spoke to Carmy at his apartment, Claire calls and interrupts the whole hypothetical shebang with Syd and Carmy at Kasama (the Tagalog WORD FOR TOGETHER) with the words,

"Did you mean to give me a fake number? You do know that I know your entire family [translation: she must know Donna too and Claire assumes that Carmy's folks approve of her - and she's proven to be technically right throughout Seasons 2 and 3 ], right? And I know ALL the Faks! [translation: tee hee! they're bigger than you - to quote Neil and Ted with their Uncle, "We Faks do have a particular shape, don't we?😇" - and they outnumber you, you scrawny punk, slay!😉✨]"

Claire then proceeds to playfully threaten to have said "massive numbered siblings" Faks, which includes Sammy Fak, played by John Cena (a professional wrestler, from an industry that is mixes both bawdy over the top theatre, a performance art that values Kayfabe (legerdemain/slight of hand anyone?) and comedy, and an athletic discipline) that is TALL. BUILT. HENCH. AND BUFF AF.....Claire 'playfully' threatens to have THESE FAKS, beat up Carmy, who is short in stature and cannot fight well from all the previous physical confrontations we've seen him be involved in, despite supposedly being a former high-school wrestler, and who has already been seriously physically abused thrice in the series run thus far (not counting him play fighting or trying to fight with Richie) after being JUMPED by a GROUP of assailants, not once, but TWICE in season one, by the Ballbreaker nerds in the pilot, and the Bachelor Party attendees in the season finale (the first season started and ended with Carmy being beaten tf up, Holy Shit! 🤯); AND AFTER BEING SLAPPED IN THE FACE IN SEASON 2 BY HIS OWN MOTHER, DONNA.

Notice the way Carmy goes from being lost in his thoughts but being completely relaxed after his menu planning session with Sydney, and in anticipation of seeing her on their would be inspiration seeking meet-up (definitely not a date, no Sir! 👀) at Kasama, to being tense and jittery and apprehensive when Claire calls him (after going behind his back and getting his number from Fak).

Notice the way Carmy's voice shakes when he asks Claire if she really knows all of the Faks.....

Notice Carmy's defeated and annoyed reaction after he hangs up the phone.

No wonder Carmy is being so avoidant and conflict averse in his handling of Claire in both Season Two and Three, he has absolutely no faith in himself or his loved ones at present to defend himself should he assert the type of boundaries he may have been desiring to have with them for these past two seasons, after all - who can he count on to fully have his back even to the point of physically intervening for him if he gets into a scrape or is genuinely attacked, by the Faks on account of Claire taking offense at or misrepresenting his words and actions to them, e.g. Claire apparently twisting Carmy's self loathing stream of consciousness confession (that she eavesdropped on) and telling Tiff that they broke up because Carmy said that "Claire will ruin everything good for him?" while he was trapped in the fridge?

What if Carmy knows he has to rip the band-aid and call Claire and apologize for his part in the superficiality and disintegration of their dalliance, but is afraid to do so because he knows in so doing, if he is being fully honest with himself and with Claire, he never truly wanted to be with her in the first place?

And who knows how Claire will take that revelation - it probably won't be pretty will it?

And.....

to quote Neil Fak,

"Claire's the best."

"We love Claire."

"I did that." [setting Carmy and Claire up in Pop)

And.....

Claire. knows. all. the. Faks.....

TL;DR

They cast John Cena as Sammy Fak, and the Faks had a lot of screen-time this season because they are the physical manifestation of being haunted in their family's sense of the word:

and a satirical visualization of Carmy's desire for Syd being cock-blocked ; plus Claire is a Love-able Alpha Bitch, and Carmy is ambivalent towards her, and even a little scared to face her, because her henchmen are the Faks!

If you enjoyed this post, then thank you for reading and I'd recommend that you check out the following meta on the way Christopher Storer and Company have seemingly (and controversially) committed to sticking to the bit of lying to the audience and breaking the fourth wall throughout this entire season:

Richie and the viewer - by @whenmemorydies with my add-on in the reblogs about Richie, not Carmy, potentially being Christopher Storer's author avatar in this series (from a post originally written before season 3 premiered.

Fourth Wall being broken - by @brokenwinebox and @thoughtfulchaos773

Claire being a possible representation of addiction, being a habit that is hard to kick - by @thoughtfulchaos773 and my and @devisrina 's add-on speculating that Claire may also be meant to be interpreted or revealed as a bit of a mean girl, to reference TVTropes, she (and by extension Season 3) may be a deconstruction/ mashup /send-up / subversion of the: Girl Next Door, the Cute Bookworm, Nerds Are Sexy, MPDG, Yandere, Alpha Bitch, Loveable Apha Bitch, Childhood Friend Romance, High-School Sweethearts, Sickeningly Sweethearts, Getting Crap Past The Radar, Freeze Frame Bonus, Parental Bonus, Viewers Are Geniuses, Give Geeks A Chance, Even Nerds Have Standards, Beauty Equals Goodness, Face-Heel Turn, Cerebus Syndrome tropes etc.....and a subtler mirror version of Donna Berzatto.

Edit: See my reblog add on to @espumado 's thread on the recurrent 'haunting' theme this season and the possibility of the Claire x Carmy x Sydney love triangle being a Lilith x Adam x Eve allegory, and my webweaving about Syd x Carmy's Adam and Eve parallels. sidenote: Lilith is Adam's first wife apocryphally and in Jewish mysticism that left him, and became a she-demon / mother of demons after being impregnated by the archangel Samael - wait is 'Sammy' Fak a Samael allegory?!!

and another reblog add-on of mine to the thread linked above - on The Faks as the living embodiment of all that is fake in Carmy's life, C Storer's handy dandy tools for slight of hand,

you can't spell fake without FAK.

and please see

Clairecarmy as Ann Veal x GOB from Arrested Development

and with Richie's frustrated refrain of, "Who cares?!" whenever Claire and Claire and Carmy's breakup is brought up in 3 -

see the running gag of George Michael Bluth's (from Arrested Development) family's disdain for Ann and his relationship with her.

5. The parallels between The Bear and Burnt by @ambeauty - a post Season 2 post which was proven to be prescient and insightful given the Easter Egg inclusion of Bradley Cooper's character from Burnt on the photo wall of chefs at Ever in the Funeral dinner in the finale.

6. The parallels between The Bear and Boiling Point - a gritty film and mini-series set in a restaurant which features several plot elements and characters reminiscent of certain character archetypes and subplots present in The Bear - seriously think of this IP as The Bear's cynical, dramatic, older British cousin.

Decision to leave by @anderwater

This anon that recommended Boiling Point to me and wrote about its connections to The Bear.

The difference between The Bear and Boiling Point by @theblvckvenus

The similarities between The Bear and Boiling Point in this reblog add-on to @happylikeasadsong et. al's thread.

7. Claire/Carmy and the Walk In - my old post on the parallels between Strange Days (1995), Can't Hardly Wait (1998, and The Bear.

and @ambeauty 's meta on Claire as a representation of the fridge

8. My post on the possible connection between The Bear Season 3 and Andrei Tarkovsky's experimental, semi-autobiographical, psychological Oedipal drama film The Mirror (1975) - a film which was incredibly divisive upon its initial release, but has since gained wide acclaim and re-evaluation as a masterpiece, and that has had a legacy of subsequently inspiring multiple renowned filmmakers.

9. The Bear series' lead actress, and the director of Napkins, one of the only episodes of The Bear Season 3 to receive almost universal acclaim - Ayo Edebiri's trollish sense of humour and assertion that lying is the pinnacle of comedy.

10. And last but certainly not least with the inclusion of a Genie Kwon*'s, of Kasama fame, cameo in the season finale and the prominence of Kasama being key to Syd and Carmy's stymied relationship progression, courtesy Claire, see

The Kasama of it all by @gingerylangylang1979

@mod-doodles @lunasink @vacationship @chansoooo1-blog

@bioloyg @msmoiraine @nerdyblerd @ripley-stark @uncriticalbunny @prowitchazel @msmoiraine @mswyrr @anxietycroissant @turbulenthandholding @tvfantic87 @laryssamedeirss @tejidaepoque @angelica4equity @inalltheirgorgeouscolors @houseofevangelista @glitterslag

@uncriticalbunny @imliterallyjustablackgirl

@bioloyg and @ambeauty please don't say I told you so or welcome back, I'm flabbergasted that I wrote this, but I want to believe! 😭

youtube

P.S. If you're still reading this, do yourself a favour and read @brokenwinebox 's post

New Paradigm

and this follow up

Mocktail is a dirty word

and check out her #the magic trick tag!

and also check out these Sydcarmy and Rosalind x Orlando from Shakespeare's As You Like It parallels:

The Bear as a pastoral comedy

First Meetings

Fumbling with your crush

Separation, keepsakes and lovesickness

and also C Storer really did tell us in the music that this season would inspire

Mixed Emotions 🥴

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